#i usually write these on wattpad and copy them over so tumblr doesnt copy all my italics 😔

[dustonionpollywongus]

Burning Fears = Byler

Self harm warning, please read with care.

In which Will hates the cold, but Mike has enough heat for the both of them.

;

Will hates the cold.

No, he despises the cold.

No, he- fuck - he can't even think of a word that comes close to how much he dislikes the cold.

It's not just the weather- Will has never liked winter - but also the cold feeling that is hidden in his body. His heart feels frozen, his gut feels frozen, his mind - god, he can't think properly with the horrid gust blowing around in his head. The lingering feeling of the mind flayer crosses his mind more regularly than he likes and it is at that point when he can't fucking stand the cold.

So, he finds, there's only one solution to not being cold.

Being hot.

Will always where's at least two layers. A shirt and a jumper on top. The pullovers are usually Johnathan's old ones, but the boy doesn't mind, he feels hidden underneath- safe. Even in summer, if he doesn't wear a jumper it's usually only because he doesn't want any weird stares directed towards him. So he wears shirts.

One layer upon an another. Will has always been skinny, so nobody notices the slight thickness of clothing around his arms.

It's never enough. No matter what, he still feels cold. Even if Hawkins is having a major heat wave, he always has the coldness lingering in his chest - despite his friends' constant complaining of the weather. So he pulls his long sleeves so they cover his pale hands and keeps quiet.

It's around Halloween when he hates the cold the most. This is because it's always around Halloween when he gets his nightmares. Sure, he may get the odd one during the rest of the year, but Halloween. It makes the boy queasy just thinking about the holiday.

And it upsets him.

Halloween used to be his favourite holiday.

Now though, the monsters come back during the end of October. Maybe not physically, but Will still feels the same amount of distress. And on many occasions, he shoots up in the middle of the night sweating violently but feeling colder than ever.

Will decides that wearing 5 layers just isn't enough.

It's time to take it to the next level.

;

Joyce frowns at the sheets of data in front of her. The bills had just come in that morning , and now she was studying them about an hour later. She sighs and rubs her eyes with one hand, a yawn escaping her lips. It's too early in the morning for this.

Johnathan sits on the wooden table opposite her, a plate of eggs in front of him. Will is standing next to the toaster, two breads heating inside. The oldest son glances at his mother's obvious distress and decides to question what is ruining her morning.

"You ok, mom?" He asks, agitated. The older lady lifts her head from her hands and offers the boy a small smile.

"Just the bills."

Johnathan frowns. Bills have never been a pleasant topic. "What's wrong?"

Joyce hands him the slightly crumpled paper. She sighs lowly, "They're higher than normal."

The older Byers boy studies the paper, whilst the other boy in the kitchen butters his toast. Will's ear quirk up slightly, trying to catch his mom and brother's quiet conversation. Johnathan has a frown etched on his face, as he places down the data.

"Energy bills. It's the heating?"

Joyce hums and glances between her two sons. "It's going to be harder paying these off. Let's get the bills back to normal next month, ok?" She looks at Will, whose face is slightly flushed, and worry crosses her mind. However, before she can say anything, Will tells them he has homework to do and leaves the kitchen, his half eaten toast forgotten.

Joyce can't remember the last time Will was in such a rush to do homework.

;

It's Monday afternoon. Will has just returned home from school. He is relieved to be greeted by an empty house. His mom and brother are both at work so Will is free to do whatever he wants.

Or whatever he needs to do.

He decides to take a bath.

After placing his blue backpack on his bed, Will makes his way to the small bathroom. The family have a regular sized bath in a small bathroom. They can't afford a shower, but that wouldn't work for Will anyway.

The boy turns the hot tap on the bath and puts in the plug to stop the water draining. The cold tap is left, forgotten.

As the bath fills, Will makes his way to the kitchen and boils the kettle, which is full. He feels bad. He knows that he's the reason the bills have increased. But he needs this. It's the only want he feels safe.

He rushes to the almost filled bath. It steams dangerously but Will ignores it and pours the newly boiled water in. Once he is content with the temperature, he strips from his clothes and climbs in.

It used to be hot. Too hot. But he is used to it now. In fact, he enjoys the burning sensation it has against again his skin. He leans back and closes his eyes.

He stays inside until the water is lukewarm.

;

His skin is red, and itchy. It hurts underneath his raw nails as they scratch away at his body all through school. He's had another bath, a quick one on Thursday morning, but this time has not got the same affect as the others. He doesn't feel cold. He feels like he's burning.

The mind flayer isn't in his head- not right now- but it'll be back. Now, his mind focuses on the developing rashes under his shirt.

It annoys him the whole day. He twitches and rubs a hand over his chest through all his layers of clothing. He gets looks - odd ones from strangers, worried ones from his friends.

When Mike asks him if he's alright, Will responds that he is. He can't think of good excuse for his scratching.

Hesitantly, Mike lets it pass.

;

A month later and Will is laying in his bed at 2 pm on a Tuesday. It's a school day but he tells his mother that he's unwell. Joyce offers to stay at home but Will assures her that he'll be fine.

Tears roll down his cheeks as he stares up at his ceiling. He's crying because he's cold. Fuck- he's so cold. But he's sweating. Underneath two layers and a big blanket, his skin is red and raw. He's had 4 more baths.

No where near as many as he should have. But the bills have been higher than usual and Will feels guilty.

He shouldn't use so much heat and water.

So he thinks of another solution.

He needs something hot. Fire is hot.

He decided he needs to make a trip to the kitchen.

;

The first time he does it, he cries. He cries because it hurts. The fire from the cooker is scorching and out of instinct he retracts his arm.

But his mind tells him to go on. To do it again. So he goes back in, keeping his arm for a little longer. Tears stream down his face but he ignores them.

When he is done, he rinses his bubbling skin under the tap. It feels like agony, but the mind flayer has gone, so it was worth it.

The next time the bills come around, they are back to normal. Joyce is pleased.

And so is Will, his bandaged arms hidden underneath his long sleeves.

;

Mike wants to hang out with him. Will is surprised at first, but of course he never passes an opportunity to hang out with his best friend.

Besides Will feels guilty, he keeps pushing Mike away.

They watch a film- another Star Wars that they have watched countless times. Will is happy that he's with Mike. The last few months have been stressful (the weather is only getting colder) so Will is pleased he can lay back for a bit.

The two boys head upstairs to Will's room. Will let's Mike change in the bathroom, and then undresses himself with the door firmly shut.

He tries to change as quickly as possible, but it's too late.

Mike sees his harsh burns; he accidentally walked in, without knocking.

Mike stares at the other boy, his eyes as wide as saucers. The peeling skin stands harshly against Will's snow-white chest and arms, and he feels as if he might faint.

(Will visits the kitchen more times than he draws)

Mike was ready to apologise but the burns on Will leave the words forgotten. Will shys away from him, his face flustered, and quickly pulls down his first layer of clothing. He's about to grab a jumper when Mike stops him.

"Will... y-your skin!" He shouts. Will hastily shushes him.

"My mom's asleep, stop shouting!"

Mike begins to cry at the sight of Will and his best friend stares at him shocked. He tries to calm down the ravenet but has no such look. He does manage to make him sit on the bed.

"Why... why?" Mike whimpers into his shaking hands. Will has to lean closer in order to hear him. "Why is your skin burnt? What happened?"

Will stares at him not knowing what to say.

"Did someone do this to you?" Mike sobs, "I swear to god I'll kill them-"

Will interrupts him, confused, "Do this to me? No, no Mike. Nobody did this to me!"

Mike raises his head. "Then why...?"

Will drops his head in shame, his eyes welling up. He didn't want anyone to worry about him. "The mind flayer." He whispers.

Mike shoots up so fast that Will is surprised he doesn't get whiplash. "The mind flayer! Is it back?" He asks urgently.

Will shakes his head. "No... he's just in my head." He begins to cry, his words escape his mouth before he can stop them. "I hate it Mike! It feels like he's always here in my mind, and I can't get him out. And I feel so cold all the time. I c-can't..."

He sobs into his knees and Mike lowers back on the bed, next to him. Carefully, he wraps his shaky arms around the smaller boy and holds him close.

Will did this to himself to get rid of the mind flayer.

Mike feels such hatred; he's wouldn't be surprised if steam is coming out of his ears.

"Will." He speaks urgently once his friend has calmed down. "We need to tell your mom."

At this, Will's head shoots up. "No! We can't!"

Mike sighs, defeated, "Will, please. This is so dangerous. Your skin..."

"Mike, I'll get better. I won't do it again, promise." Will says, looking into his best friend's eyes.

Mike cries into the other boy, because he feels like such an awful friend. "How long?" He whimpers.

Will doesn't want to tell him, but he's already kept to much away from Mike. "5 months." He whispers.

Mike can't stop crying. And in the morning when Joyce asks him about his puffy eyes, he lies and tells her he had a bad dream.

;

Will breaks his promise. Actually, he broke it about a week ago.

He feels pathetic because he lied to Mike. He couldn't even last 2 weeks.

At school, he manages to stay away from Mike, who stays much closer to him now. He can feel the guilt eating him up inside, so he keeps his distance.

He has gym today. He wants to skip it, so he forges a note. Although he fooled the teacher, he can't fool Mike.

At the end of the day, Mike corners him in the car park. He leans forward with worried eyes. "You did it again." He whimpers.

Will can't bring himself to lie to Mike, so he nods.

;

Will is seething. He going to kill Mike. His mom had just come into his room with Johnathan, sobbing into her hands.

Will can't believe his best friend betrayed him.

He cries as he confronts Mike. Most of the tears come from his rage, but some come from the pain he feels when he moves his arms.

He tells Mike that what he does is none of his business.

He tells Mike that he trusted him not to say anything.

He tells Mike that if he was really Will's friend, he'd leave him alone.

Mike steps closer to him, face red with anger. "You're hurting yourself! I had to tell someone."

Will shakes his head, "If I wanted help, I'd tell someone myself. I'm not hurting myself, I'm hurting the mind flayer-"

"The mind flayer is gone Will!" He stops Will from interrupting him. "It's your PTSD. You think it's there, but it's not. You're hurting yourself because of it!"

Will stares, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I don't want it to come back." He sobs. Mike's anger vanishes instantly and he puts an arm around his best friend.

"It's gone Will." He whispers in his hair. "It's not coming back." He lets Will cry in his arms. "You need help."

"I don-"

"You do. You need to get better." Mike pushes.

"I'm broken, Mike," Will whimpers pathetically. "I won't get better."

"You will. I'll make sure of it."

Will lifts his wrist and wipes at his nose with his sleeve. "You'll give up when you realise I'm unfixable."

Mike shakes his head firmly. "I'll be with you every step of the way."

;

2 years later

Will stares at himself in his bathroom mirror. His shirt is off and all he can see is the glaring burns he punished himself with 2 years ago. They are old, and Will has managed not to burn himself for 9 months now.

Mike is with him in the bathroom. He is bent down slightly, lightly applying some soothing cream onto each scar. The cream is from Dr Owens, Will's therapist.

Will hates what he sees in the mirror. He did this to himself. He tried to get rid of the mind flayer. A monster which wasn't there in the first place. He silently cries because of his stupidity, because this is what it resulted in.

He had agreed to get help and now he can finally see what he did to himself.

Mike looks up when he hears Will's soft sniffling. His eyes ask a silent question, are you ok?

Will doesn't look at Mike, he wills for the tears to stop. Mike carries on looking at him, so Will decides to speak. "These are never going to go away, are they?" He asks, waving a hand sadly towards his chest. Mike can hear the pain in his voice and stands up quietly.

He looks at Will, into his hazel orbs, and kisses him.

It's nothing new, they've kissed before. During the last two years, they had figured out their feelings. Mike isn't just kissing Will Byers- he's kissing Will Byers, his boyfriend.

This kiss is different though. It's slow and gentle, instead of sweet and kind. It's holds promises for the future, instead of trying to hold together the present. It's safe and familiar instead of filled with sparks. They don't talk but the silence speaks a hundred words.

Mike pulls away but keeps the other boy close. He pulls him in for an embrace, kisses his temple, breathes in his hair. He draws random shapes into his bare shoulder. This is his best friend, his boyfriend, his soulmate.

He hates seeing him upset.

He digs his nose into the shorter boy's brown hair. "I'll still love you."

Will cries silently, "I'm a freak."

Mike disagrees. "You're you." He whispers, "I'll be with you forever even if you turn into the demogorgon."

Will chokes down a giggle, "I think that's impossible."

"I used to think it was impossible to love a person so much. Anything can happen!" He pulls back slightly and smiles at his boyfriend. "I'll be with forever ok? No matter what."

Will shakes his head. "You're crazy."

"Yeah," Mike agrees, "but crazy together, right?"

"Yeah, crazy together."

#mike wheeler #byler fanfic #i usually write these on wattpad and copy them over so tumblr doesnt copy all my italics 😔 #will byers #byler #also does anyone know how i can put the read more option??? #im sorry if this is sad but like BYLER

[anna-milton]

The rules: answer the questions given to you by the tagged, write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 people. repost, don’t reblog

I was tagged by three people (ty @sapphicjacquelyn @kaijublueboy and @archangelsunited 💖💖) and this may be cheating but Im just going to answer all of them at once. This is going to be long sorry if the read more doesnt work on mobile

From @sapphicjacquelyn

What was your introduction to asoue? My second grade teacher let me have the classroom copy of The Bad Beginning because I was moving to another city and she thought I would like it a lot! And she was right!!

Who’s your favorite asoue character? KIT for sure but second place is a close tie with Violet and Esmé and Ellington Feint

What other shows are you watching right now, if any? I watched. all of glow s2 last night (oops), Im always in a general state of watching The X-Files,  I need to watch s2 of Luke Cage, Preacher, Revolutionary Girl Utena, aaaand I think those are all of the big recent ones. Watch unreal also

Describe your favorite shirt? Probably my city and colour shirt? it looks like this and its super comfy and I got it at a thrift store for like $4

Were you a Warriors kid? Oh you KNOW I was

What time is your alarm set for? 9am but it changes pretty often just depending on my mood and how late I stay up

Tea or coffee? Cofee

Coke or pepsi? Coke

Which is your favorite Snicket book? (if you haven’t read, what’s your fave episode?) I dont know honestly.... It feels like cheating to say Who Could It Be at This Hour but I honestly dont know how to rank the main asoue series!! I just love them all!!

What do you most want to see in season 3? Kit Snicket Indulgence

Fave movie? I love a lot of movies but the honest answer is that The X-Files (1998) tagline “Fight the Future” means more to me than life itself

From @kaijublueboy

what is your favorite series (book or movie or tv, idc)? The X-Files and asoue and Big Little Lies probably

what is your favorite color? green!

describe how you usually dress vs how you want to dress. I usually just dress for comfort in jeans and tshirts and Ill throw like a sweater or something on over it for Cool Points and also more comfort! The way I want to dress is pretty erratic.... just picture something along the lines of “obviously a lesbian but has no idea what decade it is”

describe yourself in 4 words. I asked my wife to do this for me and she said “Lesbian, fruit goth, chaotic. Wait. Can I swap out ‘chaotic’ for a second, bolded lesbian?”

what is your favorite weather? I love summer weather right after it storms when the air feels like its been cleared

what is your favorite article of clothing? PROBably my like cotton shorts... I have an olive green pair and a white pair with a green leaf print on them and they are both very cute and very comfortable 

do you have any siblings? if so, how many? I have four half siblings, three of whom are married or like, have been with the same person for years and have kids with them, and my younger brother!. So 5 and three plus ones

describe your ideal house Earth ship. Or like a spacious and open apartment with big windows and a nice kitchen and a balcony

beach or forest?? why?? AUGH I cannot choose.... I love forests because Im very comfortable in them but I dont visit the beach as often so it is more of a foreign experience

what is your favorite smell? Green and yellow clean smells.... citrus, mint, grass, etc

denim or leather jacket? denim! I used to own about four leather jackets but they dont have the same comfort level as denim

From @archangelsunited

Cats or Dogs? Both because I adore my dog but I am undoubtedly a “cat person” type

Fanart or Fanfic? OOH..... This is so hard but probably fic? Im pretty picky when it comes to them but when I get really into a fic or writer Im really into it!!

Favorite tag on tumblr or AO3? I tracked the #entomology meme tag like ages ago while high and theres hardly anything in it but its so funny to me. so that

First OTP? No clue honestly! It was probably something from warrior cats though

Number 1 NOTP? AUGH I have SO many like. so many ships irk me to a ridiculous extent there really is no way I could choose 

Favorite trope? like if found family trope will make u cry every time 

Do you have siblings? Answered above!

Who would you absolutely not get along with in ASOUE? Look. Look we all know. The answer is Olaf. I can and would kick his ass from here to Sunday

Which villain are you uncomfortably similar too? Hm... I would say Pamela Isley but Im honestly not too uncomfortable with that I embrace it!!

Which hero are you inspired by? A cheesy answer probably but Leia Organa! also, Pamela Isley

What is your favorite fanfic of all time? Again I really dont read a lot of fic but... probably.... the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake by inkspl0tches (read it here ;p )but also I have a lot of good homestuck girlfics from like 2016 and before bookmarked on my ao3 lol!!

AND now I will tag @lgbtjacquelyn @transvioletbaudelaire @princesschiyoh @bevrichie @sofiaslamb @buttermilkpinstripes @bisexualesmesqualor @accidental-hermit @myqueenoliviacaliban @penultimatesugarbowl and uhhh anyone else who wants to!! But dont feel pressured @ all to do this

My questions:

What was the first fandom space (tumblr, wattpad, whatever) you got involved in online & what was/were the fandom/s?

Would you rather be chased by a horse sized duck or by duck sized horses?

Do you keep any houseplants/do you want to and what kind? 

What is your phone battery on and if it is low. why arent you charging it!!!!

Which of the Baudelaire kids is your favorite?

Have you ever kept a commonplace book?

Favorite type of au?

What are some of your favorite blogs (eye emoji)?

First gay crush on a character?

How many browser tabs do you have open?

Is it morally okay to drink juice or milk directly out of the carton?

#chatter