#i wanna be organized as possible

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

got a worm nibbling my brain. can someone help me find a piece of obscure media?

webcomic/indie comic from the 2010s. basically a sci-fi short story about a young girl (with red hair?) who was being raised by scientists as part of an experiment. she receives a haircut/has her head shaved, in preparation for her annual brain scan/testing. it is revealed that while her body is human, her "brain" is artificial, made of computer implants throughout her skull and spine. at some point her biological mother (also a scientist on the same campus?) encounters her and is repulsed, viewing her as a machine who has murdered her daughter.

it was very poignant and it bruised my heart and i can NOT find it anywhere

#i thought it was made by the creator of 'O Human Star' for some reason but apparently not? #goddammit goddammit goddammit #'i don't have to write down the title of this piece of media i encountered in my formative years bc i'll always remember it' #*cut to ten years later frantic googling* #fun fact 'a.i.' is now a completely useless search term #google in general is useless #and stuff i read 3+ years ago regularly vanishes from the internet #bookmarks are not enough! if you like indie media--download that shit! buy digital/physical copies while you can #save it to the cloud back it up and organize that shit!!! #keep a list of the stuff you read (organized by date/media type and possibly with keywords if you want it to be useful longterm) #(or a spreadsheet even if you're like me and rabidly consume short stories/comics like a pack of amnesiac piranhas on a feeding frenzy) #(that stuff PILES UP over the years ok. if you wanna make sure you'll be able to find it again a decade later--curation is key) #because art WILL touch your soul and then vanish into the void leaving naught but a 404 Error in its wake #i am an old man shaking my fist at the kids on my lawn but the kids on my lawn are me and my longterm digital planning skills circa 2012

[sweetest-honeybee]

Raise your hand if you wouldn’t mind me reuploading a bunch of the old greyscale au stuff real quick in the form of 5 posts with a bunch of pictures in them

#I didn’t wanna do separate posts but I figured there wasn’t much point in keeping them down #so reupload via cramming as many pics into a few posts as possible #I organized them so that the pics go together so it’s not like jumbled or anything

[essektheylyss]

Safety tools for games are very well and good and if you and your group need them you should absolutely use them, but sometimes the way people talk about them feels like they are using those tools as a straight-up substitute for, like, working to develop interpersonal skills and the capacity for talking openly with friends.

#that post about 'you call yourself a community organizer but you haven't talked to your roommates in three months' #except it's about ttrpgs #like this is from a person with ADHD who did (and still sometimes do) have pretty severe RSD #and whose sister used to accuse people of cheating and/or straight up flip boards any time she wasn't winning a game #like especially if you find yourself needing to USE the safety tools often... #it might just be a point at which you have to say 'this is not the game environment for me' #and that does NOT need to reflect morally on you or those friends. some people's game styles just are not compatible. #not rebloggable cuz i know people are going to severely misinterpret me particularly if you're removing the context of #'i am also neurodivergent bro.' #not to say that I can comprehend every possible neurodivergent experience #but if anyone comes on here like 'you're only saying that cuz you're neurotypical' i will start biting. #also remembered that quote is from a chris fleming video so late and didn't wanna delete all of my tags to edit and then forgot to note it #but now i have. anyway. unimportant.

[kithtaehyung]

the way people keep telling me to watch hidden love and i’m just like 🥲 i will watch it eventually but i cannot tell you why i can’t watch it right now🤣

#gotta finish 3tan first😭 #i don’t wanna be influenced subconsciously! #need to keep the series as organic as possible #but damn it y’all are making it sound so good😭😭😭 #*ryenfictalk #personal

[blujayonthewing]

dungeon meshi's plot and lore get really complex and interesting the longer it goes but my toxic trait is that my favorite thing about the whole series is still the early chapters where it's mostly about diagrams of monster anatomy and explorations of fantasy life cycles and ecosystems

#'who cares about all these other characters and Intrigue I just wanna see my friends and also the internal organs of slimes' #-- my laios coded ass #THE WHOLE SERIES IS EXTREMELY GOOD DON'T GET ME WRONG #I'm just following people who are like... huge kabru fans who post a lot of meta about kabru and also late game plot stuff #and I'm like.... listen. listen. it's objectively good all the way through. the bigger and deeper story is extremely good. #but also the less time a chapter spends talking about speculative biology and/or my very good friends the main party the less I care kfjghk #'why didn't you tell me this story has [larger overarching dynamic that's appealing to most people]' #well it just simply didn't occur to me that the incredibly beautiful art and incredibly well thought out fantasy worldbuilding #weren't already on their own as much of a pitch as anyone could possibly need fdgkhkjdhf #about me

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#tfw youre hanging out with friends and u throw out controversial take after controversial take #like its me hi im the hater its me #u wanna hear them? i mean thrm in in like the silliest way possible. its not that serious lol #i hated h4n solo growing up and still do. i dont think i like the writing of ne1l gaim4n and only liked the 1st season of g0od 0mens #i thought the 1st season of 0ur flag was fine and didnt really like the 2nd. i dont think anyone in l0rd of the rings is hot. especially #not 4aragon. leg0las is like whatever. sam is my favorite character. i also didnt like l0rd of the rings when i 1st watched it #the gathering was a watch party for that 1st movie and i like it way more now lol. also i dont like overt romance. i like the implication #of romance. if u kiss onscreen im like 99% of thr time not interested. also while im being a hater. i dont thibk steven king is a good #writer and domt like his books. i like the idea of them. wish they were written by anyone else lol. also im too dyslex1c to read physical #books :-( which no one vibes with bc everyone's a grad student overachiever lol. and back to back it all sounds like im trying to b #contrary but i promise its maybe just that i have weird standards. like i also hated movies about animals growing up. it made me mad that #those movies were trying to manipulate my feelings. like jesus child chill tf out. i would also randomly decide i hated lots of things and #characters. some of which i stand by today but most of which im like lol chill #so idk maybe i just have bad opinions. i also wander the earth wearing outfits that i pick out bc it feels like im playing dressup #and i have unhinged options abt narut0. sas and naru fall into the 1% of kisses i care abt lmao #and unhinged options abt bleach the show. idk maybe im just kinda weird. i also study organisms that most ppl look at as globs of goo #and i used to study bits of dirt. my brain was just build ever so slightly weird. not too weird. just enough that i have quote unquote #controversial takes ans im not afraid to say them in a room full of ppl who disagree with me bc its really not that serious lol #i dunno i just think its kinda funny i guess #im just slightly weird in the least interesting way possible #unrelated #also i don't yuvk other ppls yum im just like ay not for me i guess

[roguemonsterfucker]

You can fuck the bear as the vampire! But you can also do it as the orc lady! Or as anyone else! The bear scene isn't specific to a romance partner, it just depends on wether you have the shape shifter recruited as a companion. Everyone may fuck the bear!

Just a heads up tho, that scene is pretty late game, so I personally only got it after about 70 hours of playing.

Shape shifter? I'm talking about the big beefy man.

Ah sorry, I couldn't resist a bad bear joke. 😂

Thanks for the info! I don't really wanna play as my own character for reasons. At least not for my first go at the game.

#sorry my joke is not funny #i have gotten very little sleep #in all honesty i don't know who i wanna fuck yet #i don't know anything about anyone except from pictures and gifs #i wanna meet each character as organically as possible so i haven't looked anything up

[gil-notskajla]

love reading fics about monster men and inserting myself mentally in the position of monster man sorry im shutting up now

#monster physically not morally duh #its real i-wanna-be-a-cryptid hours #i was supposed to learn shroom species or smth and i need to learn A LOT but have you considered: fiction about violent transformations? #(gets kicked out of university) #hey God may i get uhhh uhh a bit of shapeshifting whattt its not physically possible? well that sucks #giltweet #all that work with learning genetics and all i know is that becoming completely different organism is not possible so whats even the point

[kraviolis]

RIP my legacy minecraft account. wouldve been 13 years old next spring, but it's execution date has been set in stone for this september bcus microsoft is expecting me to have bank records for my purchase from over a decade ago

#krav talks #dont even ask abt the email it literally doesnt exist anymore #it was a custom domain my mom had and then got rid of and then the url was bought out by a suicide awareness organization #the only way i couldve prevented this was if i had a premonition 8 yrs ago about how microsoft was going to buy minecraft #and that it would fuck up my entire account and that i should figure it out as soon as possible rather than shrug and go 'eh it still works #now if i wanna play minecraft i'll be forced to pay $30 which is. currently half of my sorta-monthly income

[risingsunresistance]

the real reason i cant write a resistance fic is because i have too many "what if's" that all make for their own fun stories. so new idea. choose your own adventure style fic

do YOU think the admins are with dante (chapter 3a), or are they being forced to comply by shen (chapter 3b)

chapter 3a: do the admins repair their relationships afterwards (chapter 4aa) or are things tense with the playerbase that remained after the fight (chapter 4ab)

there is no way this would get confusing i promise it would be so coherent

#okay but a choose your own adventure style TUMBLR POST? that could be a possibility #could be kinda fun... would maybe need its own sideblog tho kjghfdk #not that i wouldnt wanna share here i mean it would just be horrible to organize without a dedicated space for it #a consideration maybe... probably wont happen for a reeeeeeeeeally long time but it could be fun if i ever feel up to it #chat #sb

[daz4i]

"i don't know whether he would or would not fucking say that but for now i want him to so he has to" is my take on dazai in this au ngl

#i kinda took one part of how i view him as a character and ran with it. possibly too far. or maybe not maybe this type of au justifies it #i wanna post abt it but what if ppl think i don't understand his character.. #anyway. as always. if you have asks abt my blands au....... or wanna help me develop it....... hmu......🥺👉👈 #(<- really in the mood to work on it but can't manage to get ideas organically rn 😔)

[biblicallyaccuratefaggot]

in a perfect world i think i would be a science teacher

#idk i was taught so much misinformation about science growing up and i know kids these days dont have it much better so i wanna make it so #kids can learn and be fascinated by (real) science as much as i was as a kid learning about dinosaurs and space #not how i was as a kid learning about vaccines and medicine #and i truly do think that a foundation in one science will make it exceedingly difficult to be misinformed in any other science #since they all operate on the same exact principles #idk i want future generations to be as fascinated and filled with wonder about *everything* that young me #because nothing is as freeing as learning how everything truly works #i want future kids to be as fascinated by evolution and space as i was #but also with any other field of science because i think the more the general populous knows how things work #the less shitty our societies will be #and countless people will benefit in the long run #i want to teach the future generations of a future sunrise that i will never see #i want people invested in every aspect of learning and bettering our understanding of everything #including empathy and learning to relate to your fellow human and also your cousin species #because literally everything in this fucking universe is related to eachother #we are all born from the same stardust that would form the most massive of galaxies and the most minute of organisms #we should be taught that life is a miracle and we should treasure every bit of it we possibly can

[erythristicbones]

i don't feel like copying what i wrote, so take some screenshots of me having brainworms for the JDK villains again. primarily spurred by me going "hey wouldn't Nisha and Artemis and Apollo make cool rockstars instead"

#i really need to hurry up and finish organizing my writing blog so i can start posting these there instead #anyways i feel like this finally nails EXACTLY the kind of vibes that i wanted for the Acolytes and Solanace #and tbh.....even if i cant find a way to work JDK's original curse themed plot with these ideas #i feel like it would absolutely be worth changing the stories/motivations for the POV trio to fit this new set of ideas #kinda adds a lot more to the villains as a whole #and also sets it apart from a lot of my other stories that revolve around 'essentially a cult' as an opposing force #if i decide to be the most self indulgent that i possibly could be #i might even consider the idea of making it a story ABOUT Solanace and the acolytes in the POV sense #theyd still obviously be villains but the protags of the story instead of the antags #at which point jonas/lydia/hayes would have to be majorly reworked to then fit into the antagonist roles #could also theoretically work with the idea of jonas AND nisha being POVs #so the reader would be getting insight to the good guys and the villains at the same time #JDK(which STILL needs a better placeholder title) really is a story that ive had to majorly change multiple times #most of my stories i have the general idea + genre settled before anything else #but this one is more character driven #i have two groups of OCs ive thought about in depth and i just havent been able to build the story around them in the right way yet #i think once i can Actually get my brain focused long enough to draw #i wanna doodle more rockstar inspired designs/themes for nisha/artie/apollo #see if the idea continues to tickle the brainworms in such a great way + then have time to make polished refs b4 artfight #bc i really love my overdramatic artsy villains okay. i think they deserve to be extra as fuck ya know? #who doesnt love a villain whose primary goal is to put on a show and THEN to do the evil things?

[alex-the-bringer-of-chaos]

Oh great, my mom just decided to open her mouth and spill the usual bullshit of her denial regarding my gender and sexuality. Ffs, the only reason why I don't call it transphobia/aphobia (and also biphobia even though I'm not bi) is cause I don't wanna despise her.

She's always trying to find whatever the fuck could be the imaginary cause of my confusion such as: the bipolar disorder (even though I've been stable for over a year now and my mental health is the best my psychiatrist and therapist ever seen), other people are manipulating me, content I watch, a trauma that either I or someone in the family went through (and it somehow passed down to me).

This time, along the usual questioning just to try and sway me out, she decided to go with the "what would changing your name and possibly having top surgery be good for you?", "what friends even sticked with you? do they really, or are they just pretending? your therapist, psychiatric, and friends don't really care about you! only your parents do and what you do affects us, you should think about that", "I see your not exercising, taking care of your food and psychical health as a whole, you should focus on that instead of your name! what is changing it gonna do?". Overall, we know better attitude sundue with the cherry on top of you are abnormal.

Yeah, you can say she's transphobic, aphobic, queerphobic as a whole. I BELIEVE YOU! But I can't accept it because how could I look at her in the face after that! I know I'm not taking care of my physical health, but mental and emotional are important, and while exercise and eating properly and sleep help, so does not hating yourself and trying to be someone your not. So shut the fuck up, you never noticed when I was doing bad, when I wasn't being myself while growing up you still loved me, but now that I trusted you with who I am you do this! I want to trow up every time you open your mouth, I want to be away from you, I tried to be vulnerable with you so many times and you always do this yet I'm in the wrong! And I can't even say all this because you will make yourself the victim. I know I depend on you, financially, but that doesn't mean you get to talk to me like you know me, you don't know shit, you never do, and it's not because your older that your wiser about everything you dumb fuck!

And the last fucking paragraph is why I can't think of her as all those phobics, how am I supposed to look at her and not spill all of this out? I can't leave yet, I don't have the money. And even if I did my sister still lives with them. And my dad, oh poor dad, he just stays in the middle and tries to be the only fucking person in the house that was never mentally ill, yet he does not call me by my chosen name and thinks I'm confused. I don't even know where he is with all this.

Also, my mom is real into pseudoscience. I don't know when it started, but I should've seen all this coming. I should have only told them after I changed my name, I should've known better than to think I could be vulnerable with them.

#fucking hell my anxiety #fells like i could burst down and cry but she's right next to me #this summer break doesn't end i just wanna be back in college #i was so happy from the talk with my friend and the yakisoba i ate for lunch #why did she had to bring this up #i bet she heard me talking with mypsychiatric yesterday on the appointment wehad to do online #vent post #i think i should tag for the phobias as a possible warning #tw transphobia #tw aphobia #tw arophobia #tw acephobia #tw queerphobia #i'm still gonna put my gay tags for organization #lgbtqia+ #queer #trans #agender #nonbinary #genderqueer #aroace #aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #long post #transgender

[sandinthemachine]

his little fanny pack on his desidia ghillie suit makes me giggle, him and his sniper are out on the field when they start feeling eachother up and he pulls back all excited like "wait!" then pulls out a condom and/or lube from it

oh my god

I like the idea that he has a lot of weird shit that couldn't conceivably fit in there but somehow does, so he's just prepared for every situation, yay us

#I mean I'm proud of you sir #way to be prepared #I sure hope it's a new condom #we've already established how warm and chafing those suits can be #anon replies #lmao wait #I have not written a single condom into any of my stories #imagine getting monster man to wear one #getting the biggest size possible #ain't no one wanna be pregnant with monster spawn #i just write in an au slightly to the left where anything above the vaginal canal doesn't exist #reader is a genderless being with zero internal organs and exactly 3 bones #pussy and sass and That's It #*insert joke about unrealistic beauty standards for the queer community* #if I could choose 3 bones I know exactly which ones I'd choose #and hopefully so can you #i need a nap

[callouiee]

🌻

#i wanna join the walk outs and protest organized by #our student council so so bad #but it's always the same time as my classes 😭 #and i know i like to joke about school not being #much of a priority but who am i kidding 😭 #well if i know it'll just be a boring lecture i would skip #but today i have an exam 😭 #and the rest of my classes today #record the attendance #so like 😭😭😭😭 #(this is also why joining/ #being active for my org is such a hardship #like i dont wanna skip class as much as possible 😭 #i'd gladly stay after my class for the protests or like #discussions but #its exactly my time of class 😞🚬) #uni diaries