#i wanna cry but i dont know what im crying about | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tayytayy12 · 2 days

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imgonnagetyouback | CL16 x reader

Summary | After reader and Charles brake up, she releases a song about her mixed feelings in the separation, leaving the whole internet wondering if the pair are back together

Warnings | Mention of a brake up, swearing

Requested | no - yes

FaceClaim | Sabrina Carpenter

Type | SMAU

Its.Y/n

Liked by, JackAntanoff, Gracie Abrams and 1,875,232 others

Tagged | @/Kika.cgomez, @/Lilymhe

Its.Y/n - Did someone say girls night out?

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User1 - MOTHER IS ALIVE! MOTHER IS ALIVE!

User2 - I would pay billions to hang out with THE it girls of formula one

User3 - Charles is currently regretting every life choice he ever made

Kika.cgomez - We devoured

Its.Y/n - Oh we so did

User4 - I still can’t process that she and Charles broke up, LIKE, WHY?

User5 - GIRL NO ONE KNOWS

User6 - WE NEED TO KNOW

Lilymhe - My girlfriends guys

Its.Y/n - *wives*

Kika.cgomez - We’re married…

PierreGasly - @/alex_albon

Alex_albon - You should be used to this by now mate

User5 - Album when?

User6 - NEW MUSIC PLEASE Y/N

Its.Y/n

Liked by, Lilymhe, LanceStroll and 1,086,122 others

Its.Y/n - I’m the Aston Martin that you drove right into the ditch

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User7 - Excuse me?

User8 - She’s back in the paddock. In Aston. Not in Williams with Lily. Not in Alpine with Kika. In Aston. With Lance. Okay.

User9 - I’m so confused

User10 - Girl we all are

User11 - It has to be song lyrics right?

User12 - That’s what I was thinking

User13 - Yeah it’s too random

SabrinaCarpenter - 👀👀

Its.Y/n - 🤫

User14 - No Sabrina, don’t shush

User15 - The brake up hurts even more once you find out Charles ended it out of the blue on her birthday

User16 - IM SORRY WHAT?

User17 - Its true, its all over Twitter we don’t know why he did it 😭

Lilymhe - Looking hot

Its.Y/n - Learnt from you BBY

Its.Y/n

Liked by, GracieAbrams, CarmenMundt and 2,081,998 others

Its.Y/n - imgonnagetyouback, out tomorrow night 🤍

User18 - NEW MUSIC

User19 - Y/n baby, there’s this lovely large button at the bottom centre of your keyboard called a ‘space bar’, did you forget how to use it?

Its.Y/n - LMAO

User20 - SCREAMING

User21 - I can’t feel Charles nerves from my bed in Florida

GracieAbrams - I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT

Liked by author

User22 - the vibe from these photos is just yes

User23 - CRYING IVE BEEM WAITING FOR THIS

ChappellRoan - Wanna go on a date ?

Its.Y/n - When and where?

User24 - I WANT A DATE TOO CHAPPELL

Twitter

User25 - THIS SONG WHAT OMG

User26 - HER VOCALS?!?!!?

User27 - THE LYRICS?

User28 - MOST OF ALL THE DOUBLE MEANING

User29 - WAIT WHAT DOUBLE MEANING

User30 - BASICALLY THE WHOLE SONG SHE SAYS ‘IM GONNA GET YOU BACK’ BUT SHE KEEPS CONTRADICTING HERSELF. LIKE ‘DONT KNOW IF IM GONNA BE YOUR WIFE OR GONNA SMASH UP YOUR BIKE, BUT IM GONNA GET YOU BACK’ SHE DIESNT KNOW IF SHE WANTS HIM BACK OR WANTS TO MAKE HIM REGRET LEAVING HER

User31 - SHES A MASTERMIND OML

Its.Y/n

Liked by, CharlesLeclerc, LanceStoll and 3,928,192 others

Its.Y/n - Get him back option one, or get him back option two?

Kika.cgomez - One one one one one one one one one one

Its.Y/n - Maybeeee

Lilymhe - If it’s not one I’ll use you as a golf ball

Its.Y/n - woah aggressive

User32 - Both Charles and Lance in the likes…

User33 - I smell the drama brewing

——

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womanmanipulator · 11 hours

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i’m sad lowk so instead of coping ill write !!😚🥰

spencer reid x fem!reader

synopsis: after a rough day at work, spencer comforts you when all comes crashing down.

(crying, hurt comfort, a lil angst.)

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you don’t know how you got here. it’s almost on instinct that your feet take you to the well known place. you stood infront of spencer’s apartment door, planting a few shaky knocks on the wood.

he opens after a couple moments. “hey! hey, what’s wrong?” he says, initially confused yet happy to see you. then, he sees your tear soaked face. lashes wet, eyes and lips puffy, nose and cheeks tinted pink. there’s a crease in your brow, you sniffle. he immediately welcomes you in.

“sorry— i don’t mean to ru-in your night.” you stammer, sniffling. you suddenly feel out of place. wrapping your arms around your torso in a pathetic attempt of self comfort. “don’t think like that,” he says, frowning. “i love when you come over, crying or not. youre always welcome.” he says. he walks you to the living room. and you both sit down on the couch. “you gonna tell me what’s wrong?” he asks. placing a hand on your knee to comfort.

“just uh,” you take a breath. “rough day at work.” you sniffle. tears falling down your face. “im sorry.” he frowns. “do you wanna talk about it?” he asks. you shake your head no and he pulls you into a hug. it’s like a cord snaps in you and you immediately sob into his shoulder. letting out all your frustration from the day. all the rude customers, the shitty comments from your coworkers and the stupid lecture from your monster of a boss.

he rubs your back and pulls you impossibly close to him, mumbling sweet little comments to help comfort you. the rumble of his voice feels nice and suddenly you appreciate showing up. spencer always knew how to make you feel better. “it’s okay pretty girl, let it out.” he murmurs. an unusual comment coming from just a ‘friend’, you two had always had a little crush on eachother. it tugs on his heartstrings to see you so upset.

once your crying starts to cease you lift your head from his shoulder. you toy with your fingers a little, feeling embarrassed. “sorry..” you mumble out. “dont apologize.” he says, you don’t make eye contact. “look at me,” he says gently. you do so, meeting his eyes. “don’t ever feel like you have to apologize, you are never a bother to me.” he says. you smile, rubbing your eyes. “thank you.” you say. tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ears. “it’s no problem, bug.” he says. a nickname he had given to you when you first met, it had no explanation, he would say ‘it just fits.’

“thank you, for coming here and trusting me enough to open up.” he smiles. your heart melts. he was always so sweet to you. he pulls you in for another hug and you rest your head on his shoulder. he wraps both arms around his lower back. resting his head ontop of yours.

-

had to get that out of my system

not proof read

mwah mwah

#spencer reid angst #spencer reid comfort #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader

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bidaryl · 11 months

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admit it. you only came back to atlanta for the hat. don’t tell anybody.

#glenn literally risking his LIFE for the stupid hat. turning back for the HAT #then rick doing the same fucking thing. like. i love them so much #wanna cry over #glenn x rick #like i don't talk about them enough or honestly spiral over them enough but rick and glenns dynamic over the show? i miss it SO bad #twdedit #m #gifs #1.04 #wait also the way the hat also gets passed down to carl then judith like............. i dont even know what im feeling but its feelin STRONG #also beth that one time...................................... something bout the kids of the future somthing about passing things down #somehting bout how even when you're not there anymore.... you're still there #stupid hat. got me emo

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months

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yk in retrospect it really is no surprise that rgg has a lot of queer fans. outside of the games being utterly homosexual of course

#snap chats #sorry i finally finished reading the second volume of yakuza's bias #GREAT manga i cant recommend it enough im already crying waiting for the third one to be translated #i got a stroke when the manga mentioned.. those like. ai-chat character things #like christ i know this is a new series and the japanese version was released in january but my GOD this is still topical #anyway let me. get to my point LMAO #because while i was reading there was a speech given by My Main Man that ive noticed is. p common in yakuza media #yk a speech about how the only people who'll give them (yakuza) worth is themselves #and that they'll forever be casted out by society so their passion is the only thing to turn to and live for. something like that #and of COURSE i remember a similar sentiment from The Clan Heir Is A Trans Woman #and listen..... organized crime is very different from being queer. im pretty sure dont quote me on that--#HOWEVER when you have messages like that being thrown left and right... yeah its no wonder LMAO #of course its not note-for-note and the contexts are VERY different LMAO but yk what i mean #its like that one post talking abut monsters and monsterfucking being queer or something #dont listen to me i only go here on legality but i think im onto something #ok bye im gonna stare at my ceiling until i pass out. i wanna start working on my dummy comic but alas...#too busy with comms this week... AND im sleepy...

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angel-of-sweet-revenge · 2 days

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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

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risingsunresistance · 1 year

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more stuff from the skyblock fanfic that lives in my head rent free (the fic does not exist)

#ark this one is for you. you know EXACTLY what this is about #when the. when the magic of the world brings life even in death. starts sobbing and crying and screaming etc #sb #my art #im not tagging him i dont wanna be perceived jgdjfh but ur welcome to reblog if you want #i love making messy drawings like this it's sooooo soul healing #lets me get ideas out without caring about how they look or how well they come across #and it doesnt use words #i hate words #im bad at words <3 #he is a bit too large for the doorway hhdkfh. maybe he's just REALLY tall #my techno is like bowser. one game he's 6ft tall at best and the other game he is the size of a building. and that's okay <333 #rising sun

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clits-and-clips · 2 months

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saeshiraw · 8 months

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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

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elegyofthemoon · 5 months

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actually i kinda wonder now if theyll put veliona into hsr or is she just sorta mixed into this seele?

#snow plays hsr #idk enough about veliona i just see her everytime i decide to start crying about seele so im just 🤔 thinking #but at this point i often wonder just how much theyll take from honkai impact and put into star rail #i feel like its going to wind up being more spin off and completely separate but what do i know im new to honkai impact #and im not even up to date with star rail #but yeah.....#its already pretty fun though seeing the parallels between bronseele for both stories (i love them sm)#but i wonder how much more #not that i can appreciate it at this point but yeah #'snow why are u posting about this here' bc im sleepy and i dont care anymore.#i wanna post more about viddygame thoughts like i used to tbh #ik i would do it on a rambling blog but #what if. i just. do it here. :)#tbh i need more hi3 friends/mutuals. im new so i have zero clue about anything but... people to annoy #ANYWAYS good night #wait veli might be separate i just dont know it works just yet #WE WILL LEARN ITS OK #im just a newbie.... the lore too big for my brain to understand but we are putting pieces together 🔍

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jonny-b-meowborn · 11 months

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As time goes by I'm becoming more and more sure that I just can't survive on my own. I can take basic care of myself, but the second I have to go to a doctor or do some formal stuff I get paralyzed. I just can't. Fuck, I can barely even talk to strangers in general. Or even not strangers, I can't fucking text someone back if I'm not close to them, it's just so scary and exhausting. I'm becoming emotionally tired more easily and sometimes even talking with my mom about anything is too much for me and I love my mom. And I really need her, I can't do basic stuff without her pretty much holding my hand all the time. I can't get a normal job. We went to this blueberry plantation a few times but I just couldn't go there without her, and now the job is over and we can't go there at all. If I wasn't such a fucking baby I'd go there a few more times alone and get some money. I can't make calls, there's literally like two people I feel comfortable talking on the phone with. People used to say I was mature for my age when I was younger but I never grew up and now I'm almost 21 and can't do anything with my life. I'm scared of everything, I'm constantly exhausted physically and mentally. I'm like a fucking child. I'm scared that I'm gonna have to live with my mom my whole life. I can't see a future for myself, I'm just not able to survive without help and at some point I won't be able to get help, I don't want to be a parasite living off of my mom's money but I don't see anything else I could do. I hate my brain so much. I hate the way it refuses to work. I hate myself for being such a child.

#you know theres this weird idk. impostor syndrome about me and my autism #like on one hand i know that autism is a disability. but on the other i cant think of myself as disabled #cause im not 'autistic enough'. because i can keep myself fed and clean and healthy and alive as long as im provided with everything i need #but then i have a full on breakdown because my new laptop doesnt work and i have to go to the store to have it checked/replaced #i wanna throw up just thinking about it #i cant do anything without my moms help #i wanna throw up and cry and die when theres too much happening around me. i cant survive in the real world. i just can't #i cant get a job or a partner or go to college or move out or even just fucking. go to a store and ask for help with my laptop.#i feel like im destined to live w my mom forever and not achieve anything and die alone #i keep talking about wanting to make a living with my art but thats bullshit. i do want that but i know it's not possible for me #i cant even fucking finish the commissions i already have. im scared to get new ones. im scared to do anything.#my brain refuses to let me work on anything #and yeah i am burnt out after my diploma and exams and all that but at some point i just have to admit im not built for that. for anything.#im built to live like a parasite baby and die #my mom is too good of a person to kick me out but i wouldnt blame her. im useless. i cant make money. i cant take care of myself #i dont know what to do #bee buzz

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camels-pen · 9 months

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vague DP x Noragami crossover time~

Hiyori is terrified of Danny; something about him rubs her so so wrong. She tries her best to be nice, but she is the equivalent of a shivering chihuahua puppy in his midst. Danny feels kinda bad about that, but he can't really turn it off without turning human so he tries to stay as calm as possible around her.

Yukine, on the other hand, loves him. He thinks Danny's so cool and keeps bugging him about stuff from America and trying to show off how much he knows about the culture (a very impressive amount actually), and goes nuts seeing all the things Danny can do with his ghost powers. Danny feels the same about Yukine, gushing about his Shinki abilities and urging him into telling stories about his adventures and Japanese culture. These two become good friends.

Yato is kind of indifferent, and then the tiniest bit jealous once Yukine starts looking up to Danny. After getting to know him a little more, Danny has a hard time believing someone like Yato is a real "god".

It doesn't take long for Yukine to start looking up to Danny, just seeing how easily Danny can take care of Ayakashi (named "Phantoms" in the anime, heh) impressed Yukine enough to ask for advice. Thus, Yato's "oh hey potentially a customer!" doesn't last more than a day or two.

Danny does accidentally hang out with Hiyori in human form, and she does not recognize him in the slightest. She also isn't afraid of him at all in human form.

Important note: Danny, to this trio, only know him as "Phantom"

Side idea: I,,, am gonna be honest, I dunno how the naming system would work realistically, but somehow with some word, Yato gets cut off from saying the whole word of something and Danny gets a funny feeling in his chest! By the time he feels two hands holding him tightly, he realizes that he is A) not in ghost form, B) not in human form, and C) he was-

"A Thermos?" Yato asked. "Bit of a random item, but- HOLD ON YOU'RE A SHINKI?!"

Danny did not, in fact, know he was a Shinki.

The idea is: Yato, being a "god of calamity" (if this isnt actually true, F to me), and Danny, being... whatever the hell amalgamation of ecto-energy and ghost shit and human being that he is- they both sort of? overlap? If that makes sense. And so, even though Yato did not intend to call a Shinki, nor did he know Danny was a Shinki (and that he had apparently bestowed a name at some point and completely forgotten about except- that's impossible what the fuck) he had none the less a new Shinki in his possession. One that turned into a thermos.

Idk how this would go plotwise, but Yato would immediately turn around and go "hey, Yukine, isn't this great? We can use Danny to keep food warm in the winter-!" and then he gets wrestled to the ground by Hiyori of all people, who was previously keeping a good distance between her and Danny and also panicking a little bit because it seemed like his smell completely disappeared what-

And Danny is just "what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck" and "did my parents sell me to the calamity god at some point???"

The answer he gets is no, but he's never totally sure and is always suspicious about it.

Some more notes:

-> He freaks out Hiyori because he smells like an Ayakashi

-> Yukine is a little bit drawn to him due to their similar (enough) circumstances.

-> Yato doesn't give much of a shit beyond the usual, at first, because he's used to the presence of death and Ayakashi near him. And Danny's existence isn't much of a surprise to him after hanging out with a sort-of Ayakashi (Hiyori) for so long.

-> After transforming into a Shinki for Yato, Danny can, in fact, blight him! When he changes back to his non-thermos self though, he does not blight Yato.

-> Danny offers to teach Yukine math one (1) time when Hiyori is unavailable and it ends with both of them getting repeat lessons. Danny thinks its a rip-off that he's not in school and yet he's still doing homework.

#dp crossover #DPxNoragami #danny phantom #noragami #nemotime #might add to this later when i'm further along in my rewatch of the anime and remember more stuff #tho i definitely remember that Rabo guy and it would be quite fun to consider him fucking shit up for Yato AND Danny #i wanna make Danny and Hiyori decent friends when he's in human form but i find it so funny making her just hiss at him out of fear #and then going 'omg im sooo sorry. i dont know what came over me- *HISS*' but like. she is completely 100% geniune #poor girl. it is very amusing to me however #possible reasons for Danny not in school - vacation. graduated. errand for Clockwork. etc. idk yet)#will probably make it so that Hiyori eventually gets used to having him around and then she's the one to make the connection #about his human form. but for now. crying screaming hissing on the floor etc #YOOO #HOW FUCKED UP WOULD IT BE IF CLOCKWORK WAS ONE OF THE BIG TIME 'gods' AND HE JUST MADE DANNY HIS SHINKI #WITHOUT TELLING HIM????#ohhhh #this fucks me up oh man #CW seeing no problem with it & Danny not getting the problem until its pointed out to him #that he can't remember a single time before this when he was used / turned into a thermos #because when you make a spirit a Shinki and give them a name #they transform. so Danny should be able to remember transforming *at least* once before now. and yet.#i mean its not that hard to figure out right? Master ('god') of all time. Likely to be very volatile Shinki. Just rewind and you're good :)#and maybe CW does rewind. when Danny starts blighting him kinda hard. and Danny doesn't notice much out of place #he just thinks he got knocked out during a fight and asked what he missed #later. Hiyori and Yukine will try to jog his memory and Yato will be doing ... something sus probably in the background to try to help #oh man i also gotta figure out Danny and Yato's whole deal with the accidental Shinki + blighting mess between them #anywho bed time for meee

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archirdarchernar · 3 months

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#vent #it feels awful #not knowing what the fuck to do #i WANT like a fucking gluttonous beast #i wanna be good at everything #i wanna be good at art and singing and worldbuilding and writing and editing and animating and academics #and i never feel satisfied #and no ones forcing me to do any of this #i just fucking want to for some reason and its destroying me #i just end up being not good at anything. im shit at studying and sleeping and keeping to deadlines #i want there to be enough time for me to explore everything #for me to learn everything at my own pace and perfect my skills #but it just feels like i have no time for myself anymore #everything i have i must dedicate to studying for a levels and its so tiring. i wanna draw and be creative too but theres so much course #content that its killing me. i want my free time back #and im forever thankful to my parents for moving with me all the way to the uk so i can learn about things that actually interest me but #even that doesnt really mean anything anymore thanks to the standardization of education and especially exams and exam boards #so my parents spent all that effort and money for nothing and i really just want to break down and cry and say sorry #but that would just hurt them even more and even i dont have the heart to do that so im stuck with this and im so goddamn tired #and of course by spreading my attention and efforts so thin everything i do is lackluster so of course my grades are shit #and i get sick often so my attendence record is also shit #it just feels like im a burden for existing like a malignant tumour #and i have to relearn how to cry. imagine that. a grown adult not knowing how to cry #i never knew there was supposed to be emotional relief when crying sometimes because whenever i cry when im overwhelmed...or anytime really #i get told to stop immediately so i got trained to hold everything in.and i get that its easy for the adults to deal with a not-crying child #but i kinda feel cheated #i want that emotional catharsis that comes with crying your feelings out and i have to teach myself how to do it #how pathetic is that #had to get this out there its just too much for me #arc 3am logs

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effervescent-fool · 9 months

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#i know this is like. childish. but im going to my first obgyn appointment in a few weeks and im. scred #*scared #i literally feel like crying #ive put this off for so so long and i need to see one #but just the thought of an exam makes me wanna throw up #i requested a female doctor but im so scared that they wont have one #and that wont make me any less dysphoric #and ive never even been insecure about my bush but now im stressing over like #“what if i look weird” or whatever #like what if it smells?? what if theres something wrong??#i get acne fown there too and now im worried that thats not normal #im way too old to be feeling like this #every time i voice my concern i get told that i sound like a child. that i HAVE to do this #ough. i dont like this why did i have to be born in this stupid fucking body

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bittwitchy · 10 days

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see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd #but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well #just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well #which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out #which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore #its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi #see the other thing is #if i talk about my mental health at all #people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint #or feel sorry for me which i also dont want #all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all #like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff #i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly #im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares #i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to #and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one #they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored #im losing my mind steadily #and thats not even onto the physical problems #but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying #‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket #if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your #fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces #sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues #but then i talk to other women and it is #it just doesnt make sense and i hate it #but i never rly got help on private insurance either so #tbd #depression cw

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todayisafridaynight · 2 days

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every time i log on tumblr you homos are talking about DE mine

fork found in kitchen

#snap chats #CRYING AVLKRJVLKEARJVJEL THE FACT THESE WERE SENT BACK TO BACK #never beating the allegations .... THOUGH IN ALL FAIRNESS WE BE TALKING ABOUT MINE IN THE UNREAL ENGINE #i dont even remember what the actual proper term is for 'drargon engine' cause i remember referring to the models as the DE models once #and was told that wasnt right but i dont remember the actual term oops. we know what we mean tho #anyways LISTGEN ANON NUMBER ONE IM JUST CURIOUS ..... i just wanna see what he'll look like in yk3 ....#i do not believe he'll look as good as hijikata in ishin im sorry i dont believe in DE like that #daigo dont even got a grown UE model ... i mean theres tokugawa but .... bald ........ the pencil mustache ...#lol ..... anyways.sir this is the mine love blog we talk about mine and mine accessories vjaeRLKVJERLKJBG

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widevibratobitch · 17 days

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#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

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