#i wanna feel important but i shouldnt

[lonelydncers]

.

#once again hiding in the tags #i miss her so much sometimes #and like i know i should be thankful we’re still friends and we’re as close as ever but #it’s not the same #i dont think im her go to person anymore #and that shouldnt matter and yet it matters #and like this weekend #she disappeared and i miss her but i know she needs time alone after last weekend #but i wish i could talk to her #bc she’s kinda the only person i feel that really Gets me #and i know there are so many other people i could talk to #but none of them really understand me like she does #and it sucks #bc i dont wanna bother her #and she keeps saying that i dont bother her #but if she felt like talking she would’ve texted back by now #idk #im just sad #and i miss feeling important #and i miss being someones favorite person #anyways. if u read it all the way to here lmk ig maybe i’ll feel less alone #dunno #just need a hug #wouldve been nice if it were hers #but whatever

[possum-tooth]

well now i feel bad.

#i shouldnt feel guilty for putting myself and my needs first but. i do! #like sorry dude but im not fucking driving NINETY MINUTES to watch AN EPISODE of a show! its not that important to me! #like watch it on ur own if u dont wanna get spoiled bc i honestly lost interest in it. whatever man #good night #talk tag

[upsidedowngrass]

ok so abt the amelia thing i mentioend in the tags of the other post? im thinking abt making a companion fic to the one i just posted but also i wanna preface it w some ideas abt amelia i think abt sm that kinda get undermined by other characters (even as a local liam fan i STILL need amelia in my life you know)

a lot of times? shes just written as Nice. and thats it, unless shes ALSO being portrayed as like... doting on liam and bryce and like im sorry but i dont think thats quite accurate. she IS kind, and she DOES care for her friends but i feel like this compassion gets SUPER oversimplified

the thing is, people make her revolve around the others, and i think there IS some basis for this; she cares abt the others a LOT and tries her best to help!! its a part of her character. but what people miss is that she DOESNT tend to act selflessly like constantly. she spends the first 6 episodes asking and trying SO hard to be up for elimination despite everything, even when stone makes liams team be up for elimination- but the thing is that i dont think not being selfless means shes selfish either, which i think is also overlooked (it CAN be inbetween). shes acting actually not unrealistically in this situation, she wants to be safe so it MAKES SENSE that she doesnt really think abt bryce or liam going home and tbh i think thats ok. shes under a lot of stress. the fact that everyone was divided into teams likely didnt help either

but then comes ep 7, and the fact that she loses the contest on purpose to get liam home i think overshadows this? and like she is 100% such an mvp here and i think she is literally so kind bc yeah liam Has gone thru the wringer at this pt. but this scene isnt Revealing that she Actually Wants To Look Out For Them Above All Else, its... very realistic guilt. a LOT of how i see her character i think revolves around guilt that i never see ppl portray her w

the thing is that i dont think she likes to see ppl unhappy, as very frequently shown and explained thru her helping the others! shes the one who is frequently shown looking out for others, and this IS bc shes very compassionate!!!! but i think it is partially abt the fact that it 1. is smth she can control, its smth she can DO, and 2, that if she doesnt help it kinda seems like it eats at her? helping the others during those 7 months WAS about caring abt them!!! and its just also that when ppl she cares abt are struggling , it helps her, too, to help them, yknow?? like its One thing that can make the plane more Safe and comfortable, and bc she DOES look out for people, but this IS often when worst comes to worst- shed help before that, yeah! but i think before it gets REALLY bad its easy for her to get overwhelmed with her OWN problems. this is only pushed to the extreme when the only thing she CAN do to make living on the plane bearable is to forget everything before it and embrace it, and subsequently, pushing those problems on the wayside, its a LOT easier to help others

as for the guilt, i feel like the scene in ep 7 is abt compassion but also about. SUCH heavy guilt. its not her fault, but she was also the only one who was Actively Aware of the fact that liam would sink, AND able go down there. and i think thatd mess with ANYONE. and the fact that suddenly this person she Couldve helped before Couldnt Be Comforted because she Couldnt Stop The Worst From Happening kinda like. Got to her. in ep 7, it isnt that things "revolve around liam," now, its the fact that she feels GUILTY. now looking back at every competition she tried to have HER team lose seems like just another instance she couldve stopped him from drowning before it happened. its extreme guilt, because blaming airy was easy, but airy doesnt budge, and all she has control of here is potentially helping others, and its like she failed, and she wants soooo badly to make up for it, because she already cared abt liam, but now theres also guilt around the fact that she DIDNT act selflessly because it WAS smth she could do. and it fucks me up so much

#hfjone #this one might be less cohesive than my other posts but. i hope this is clear enough anyway #just. man. shes kind and i love her so much #i never see her portrayed w like. the Guilt that i rly see her as having. even tho she SHOULDNT feel guilty #man.... #this is one of the most important ideas i have abt any of the characters so i REALLY do hope it makes sense #shes kind but not selfless and she SHOULDNT be bc she doesnt NEED to be. its very normal to not act selflessly like all the time #esp in such horrible circumstances #like ya whatever abt selfishness. but if you only act selflessly you like. lose so much of You #but guilt is powerful :( #anyway she isnt selfless constantly. shes kind but when not under immense pressure shes more 'just hanging out w ppl' #rather than 'i need to give up my chances of being free from horrible shit bc this guy is having such a rough go of it' #which i wanna reiterate she IS like. so good in that scene its so kind of her. but she SHOULDNT have to be #and she shouldnt FEEL like she has to be #it is as sweet as it is deeply sad #drowning tw

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

hmmm

Unwindin' and celebrating finishing quite the long grind but there is one more serious sweat before I can breeze to max...

#just a billion thoughts of agility #idk about sweating it out #doing it from 90-99 right after rc would prolly kill me #I think for now Imma push mining and do 100 ardy laps a day? #but also im feeling kinda pumped after destroying the rc grind #im only like 1m from 99 mining though and i wanna do amethysts which r... v slow #but shouldnt be mor than like a week + change of afk mining #if i do an actual xp method it could be like 2-3 days lmao #but pink rock important #having it stockpiled raw v v important #but agility.... its like... 160h of ardy at lax laps/hr and i KNOW im gonna force myself to learn+do some hallowed sep on a day off #so its maybe more like 140h or so but thats like #weeks at every hour every day >.> #agility is not afk eitherrr #idk #ill prolly swap between doing it a lil daily and hardcore all day if I feel Im close to the level #osrs

[ventcode]

Rose

#sigh. i already said sorry for panic blocking her during an important conversation #sigh #sure. its an emotion. #an emotion i dont want HAVING #an emotion that makes me unlikeable and rage filled. #an emotion that makes me insane. crazy even. #i shouldnt feel this way #i dont wanna feel this way #to address it would.. #i hate keepin secrets. i really do. #i called myself a selfish jealous freak #''youre none of those things!'' shut up i know what i am #if i ever said any of my thoughts. ever revealed where i put them. #sigh. and here i am once again. holding my hand out to you.

[glitchdollmemoria]

actually. that post about how its important to have weird kinky queer friends. i think the same is true of really every type of ostracized person but in particular i wanna point it out wrt mentally ill people.

if you watch a movie villainizing DID or schizophrenia or something, and you think, "hey, this seems sort of like its based on what my friend has and theyre just a chill person, why are they making my friends condition seem threatening?" thats good.

if you see someone use narcissist as a synonym for abuser and you think, "what, no, im friends with someone who has NPD and i know theyre a kind person, this isnt true at all," thats good.

if you hear politicians try to frame addicts as violent criminals who should be locked up and you think "no, my buddy sam is just sick, their withdrawals are really painful and they dont have a good support system, they shouldnt be locked up for that," thats good.

being able to counter ableist rhetoric with "i know from experience thats not how these people are" is a good thing. like yeah obviously dont make friends with mentally ill people just for brownie points but also try to make the conscious effort to be open to friendship with people who have stigmatized mental health issues. and maybe even more importantly, be someone who makes it clear to others that youre safe to be open about these things with, because chances are youre ALREADY friends with mentally ill people even if you dont realize it, because a lot of us with more demonized conditions try to hide those conditions out of fear, and it helps a lot to know our friends are allies - and then we might feel safe discussing our experiences, IF we want to, and in turn that can help you better understand the realities and diversities of our situations and be less susceptible to ableist rhetoric.

#ok to rb #i dont feel like tagging though bc im not 100% confident in how i worded this #but idk how better to and i want it out there. idk

[flowerflowerflo]

౨ৎ ⋆｡• vogue beauty secrets 🐰 ๋࣭ ⭑

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ hair

don't wash your hair every day! i think everybody knows this but i know a couple people who still dont wash their hair only 2-3 times a week. obviously it depends on ur hair type but only wash your hair when it needs it!

don't wash your hair with scalding hot water either. its not only bad for your body and face but its also bad for your hair as it ruins the natural oils and damages cells etc

if you have frizzy or easily knotted hair i recommend keeping a comb on hand in the shower and using it to detangle before putting in any products

i've been emulsifying my shampoo for only a couple of weeks but my hair is sooo much fluffier afterwards so i definitely recommend that!!

now i'm torn on this one but apparently shampooing twice is better for your hair than doing it once? i tried it one time and it did not end well for my hair type but i know it works for a lot of people so if you wanna give it a try then go for it ♡

i squeeze excess water out of my hair before i put in my conditioner so i can completely get it in there without

also change your pillow case often! this is for your face too, as the oils will build up and thats not good for ur hair or face. i change it once a week but 2x a week is good too if you're able 💓

don't go to bed with wet hair. stop doing that. its super bad for your hair and keeping it pretty & fluffy & cute

airdrying is my holy grail, been doing it since i was little and dont regret a thing. its a billion times better than blow drying & makes ur hair so fluffy too ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ body

DO NOT. HAVE. THE WATER. BOILING HOT. i am guilty of this and have been for years but it has such a bad impact and you shouldnt do it! cold showers are better but i prefer warm showers so theres a middle ground (& its always cold in england, so id freeze to death.)

using body lotion after the shower has been such a game changer for me its incredible. makes you smell nice, feel nice, look nice, and its so relaxing and i feel like a princess after i do it <3

exfoliating is really important if your aim is for soft skin 💓 i have been doing it for months and as somebody with super rough skin its SO soft now

partake in some form of exercise. i hated hated hated sports and exercise when i was younger but i did do dance up until i was eleven and have been doing pilates consistently for months now, and my mindset towards it has changed drastically over the years to finally a healthy one. it can be a difficult thing to get into but make it something you enjoy. it doesn't have to be sports. ill make a post on this soon but it can be pilates, kpop dances, running, hot girl walks, anything! and most importantly, do it for mental health and physical health, not losing weight.

make sure you're eating properly. remember that 2000 - 2500 calories a day is the MINIMUM. please do not stress over things like that. your body is so important & is there to be nourished and not neglected

change your bedsheets every week if you wanna smell good, this is so important bc sweat and odour will build up if u dont and thats icky and wont make u smell good & probably isnt the best for your skin either!

i also put two similar body washes on in the shower that i get SO many compliments on & its really helpful if one of your priorities is smelling good

dont just wash body wash straight off, let it sit for a few moments so the scent can actually sink into ur skin

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ face

skincare every morning & every night. if ur tired or just not feeling it today then simplify it, just make sure you never leave it out because its super important! no. skipping. no work = no reward.

on this note, try not to have a too complicated skincare routine, as this can backfire and make ur skin worse than before. your skin isnt meant for 18 different products and 200 chemicals every morning!

never wash your face with hot water... this is also a given but just in case... it strips your skin of its natural oils and does more harm than good

stop touching ur face... just for those who need a little reminder

make sure ur sleeping enough. seriously disney princess movies meant it when they talked ab beauty sleep; it seriously makes a difference, so please try make this a priority, especially if you already have dark circles like myself! (like girl did you see aurora's face? my girl's skin was so clear i could see my reflection)

pay attention to what makes ur face puffy or irritated or makes you get break outs. i keep a little break out log in my skincare page in my journal (little teaser for an upcoming post 🤭) and this has helped me go over what helps or hurts my skin! i recommend this especially if ur prone to acne or breakouts 💖

cold spoons in the morning to depuff your eyes; ive only been doing this a handful of times but im making it a habit seeing as it really helps! (as someone who can get vv puffy eyes 😭)

hydration is so important, for everything in this list, but most of all (from my experience) your face! i drink A Lot of water every day. probably a bit too much. but its so worth it, my skin has been absolutely amazing ever since i started actually making hydration a priority. (and this is coming from a girl who didnt touch a drop of water when she was younger & had to go hospital for dehydration several times.)

i'd recommend scrubbing ur lips too in the morning when you brush your teeth, i saw this on pinterest aaages ago bc i had super dry lips and i do it every morning & every night RELIGIOUSLY. its so so good and i definitely recommend

i have super dry lips in the morning so lip balm in the mornings w my skincare is absolutely essential for me

i also put perfume behind my ears & on my neck so its the first thing people smell when they hug me! im a very touchy person and i love hugs and i love showing love to people so this is essential for me but its optional, just makes you smell good ♡

#girlblogging #had this in my drafts for a while and in honour of my beloved everything shower i decided to finish it #+ im obsessed with vogue beauty secrets atm so. um #it girlism ୨𖹭୧ #glow up #wonyoungism #it girl #pink pilates princess #self care #self growth #self concept #it girl energy #that girl #becoming that girl #becoming her #beauty #fashion #vogue #vogue beauty secrets #loa blog #loassumption #loa tumblr #law of assumption #self image #self improvement #self love

[chisatowo]

Why am I just apparently incapable of making stories without time travel bullshit now where did I go wrong fmfndjfnd

#rat rambles #Im working on developing the story with ghost writer anf I can feel ut becoming more time travel bullshit-y every second I think abt it #it wasnt gonna be that time travel bullshit heavy but then I realised I super could so then I super did oops #also I thinkkkk I might steal some of my stuff for the aliens that misaki and pareo are in the sci fantasy au for this story maybe? #I just like the concepts behind them a lot and itd fit my image for a certain alien species concept I have for the story #the main difference would probably have to be either be home planet or population size but idk I havent fully decided to use them yet #this story is an interesting one to brainstorm for because its probably gonna be my first more purely sci fi story #pretty much all my other stories have sci fi elements but I consider most of them more fantasy or at least just not a sci fi story #and in a way this story will probably have fantasy elements but Im not imagining it as fantasy #I currently plan on it having 3 main characters total but no promises on me sticking with that #I have some other character concepts but I dont think most of them will be that massively important #I am rly loving one of my minor antag cgaracter concepts though I wanna try drawing them but idk if I wanna give them a similar vibe to #ghost writer or not since they have similar origins as far as their current forms go #also I will say yall probably shouldnt expect me to talk abt this story all that much for at least a lil while since Im rly still very #early on in the brainstorming stage and I rly dont think Ill have a solid foundation ti the story for quite a bit longer #I like to get my basic plot concept and then flesh out my main cast and from there fill in the lines of the plot through them #if that makes sense? idk #I just tend to like character driven stories so even in my stories that arent mostly character driven I still build a lot of the plot based #on the characters which then becomes a back and forth of character and plot development #Im still in the initial character development phase where Im working through the basic foubdations of the cast I want #my main struggle rn is that one of the main charaxters is the future version of the other thats not ghost so I kinda have to build one from #the other while still keeping my desired image of both in tact #and Im kinda rambling a lil but hey guess you guys get a lil insight into my story writing process lol #for the record my aus generally work similar but with more focus on the communication between character and worldbuilding instead #or just general background based on my initial concepts #for example me wanting a void like place for a lot of the random card au ppl to hang out in and using them all plus other xharacters I #decide tk involve along the way to develop botg the place and its origins along with the characters in the au and the plots they create #a lot of my worldbuilding rly is just a web of my vague concepts being brought together and bounced between to form a more choherent world #for a lot of this stuff I rly do just follow my gut concepts and slowly fill in the gap between the broader details and the finer details #and often times they meet up very nicely and then I have a very clear image of how it works in its entirety

[thereal-true-ogilvie]

hello everyone welcome to i talk about benrey for a minute here

as someone who’s watched the entirety of hlvrai at least 6 times, the full vods at least 3, and the cast commentary hovering somewhere around 10, i consider myself to be pretty well-versed in the series. i also kin benrey. this is probably important to my perception of him.

the series is about self-aware AI.   its in the title! so it seems obvious enough to me that Benrey was programmed to be the final boss. he was SUPPOSED to be a silly character that antagonizes the protag and throws off the group dynamic, and then it’s a big reveal and you get to beat up this guy that was mean to you!

but he doesnt wanna. hes self aware.

Of all the characters, i think Bubby and Tommy are the most “powerful” in that they were able to break their characters the most. Tommy is a bit of a wild card because he doesn’t usually act like an AI. I view him as the “character you’re supposed to protect” in the party, but somewhere along the way he, too, became self-aware and figured out how to handle his own. I think that’s where the age thing comes in. He was programmed to be a 5-year-old that you’re trying to get out of this dangerous facility! but he didn’t want to be a 5-year-old, he’s smarter than that, he’s capable! so he changed it. Him being the son of Gman also probably helped with him being able to just do that.

I take Bubby and Dr. Coomer as both being tutorial characters. Dr. Coomer is a bit broken, but he still does his best to teach you about things. I think he’s the tutorial NPC that goes “watch out for [x]” and “we can use ropes to cross big pits!” and “we should call them Peeper Puppies!” while Bubby was supposed to be the “here’s how you shoot a gun”

Like, Dr. Coomer does the knowledge about the world, and Bubby does the action. for the video game. And Bubby is supposed to be kinda cold to you, because the action-tutorial NPCs tend to be. Like “what you cant even hold your own? tch, guess ill have to teach you.” But Bubby doesn’t do that. He doesn’t WANT to play the game, he wants to go back home. He liked it before the game was switched on. So he doesn’t teach Gordon shit and just tries to speedrun so the player will leave and he can go back home.

one little scene that stood out to me so much was when the crew is sitting around in a circle with the pigeons. not outside, the other scene with them sitting in a circle and there’s pigeons. why are there 2 of those.

anyways, Benrey is just staring at this pigeon behind Gordon, and singing to it, calmly. And then there’s a loud beep that sounds like the vox, and definitely doesnt come from Benrey. and he suddenly gets up and shoots the pigeon. That reads SO HARD like he was being too soft with the game world, so it pushed him to do something evil randomly. Like a little villain reboot.

Almost everything he does to antagonize Gordon can be read as genuine confusion. He kills random NPCs because he knows theyre not important, and that they can’t feel anything, and that they’ll only slow the team’s progress. And what makes Gordon so mad at him is how often Benrey says Gordon shouldnt be allowed in here. I take that as a similar stance to Bubby. Benrey doesn’t want to be the villain. He doesn’t want the player to progress and make him. That gets more obvious the closer we get to the end, and most people tend to notice it in the last scenes before Xen, where he’s suggesting they go all the way back, and basically begging the player to stop here, at least for a little while.

its really sad, honestly. but i take the cast commentary bits as canon. Which makes it adorable when Benrey comes back into the movie theatre with Gordon and we get

“I wonder what will happen. I bet you know what happens!”

“I win!!!”

He did win. He got to get past being the final boss. He got to join the epilogue. I think, he probably wasn’t supposed to be able to. But these guys broke the game enough that he could. Isn’t that sweet? Isn’t that a nice ending for him? I think he deserves it.

Wayne says he acts like “he isn’t aware unless he’s being spoken to” and I think that fits really well. Like, sometimes his actions are coded into his behavior, so he does them without realizing. And then the player interacting with him (which is the premise of the self-awareness) forces him to actually look at what he did, and sometimes he has no idea how to explain it. Leading to his “huh?”

listen to me. are you listening. i need you to hear this. i need more people to understand benrey. and how much i love him. hes trapped in the narrative, doomed by it to be the villain. but he doesn’t want to be. he clearly cares about the crew in his own silly goofy way. he doesn’t want to fight them. i wrote down everything he said in the finale, and he only says 5 outright malicious lines, all of which are directly after an unnatural pause, like he’s being rebooted again. Some important lines: “I knew this was gonna happen,”

“Stop shooting at me, I have to shoot back, I don’t wanna do that,”

“I didn’t have a big plan, I was supposed to be nice, but you forced me to be BAD so I’m gonna be BAD… friend.” the small, quiet “friend” there gets me every time. even after everything, even after his nature is revealed, he wants to believe theyre still friends.

“Don’t go in there, please… I don’t like that room." The amount of times he sounds so genuinely sad when asking them to stop, or even just saying “bro..” like he’s mourning the friendship they could’ve had. The amount of times he sounds genuinely pained when he’s glitching out and stretching across the screen.

And his last words, said childishly of course, but,

“This isn’t fair.”

#god i love character analysis #benrey #hlvrai #dr coomer #bubby #tommy coolatta

[badgyalshii]

SHII’Z AMBIGUOUS MASTER LIST

About me?

Hey, my name is Shii (shy) and i like sad fanfics dont ask😂

I am a POC and bigger than y/n😒 old enough to smoke when i wanna, ndddd yeah

I am not a new writer! I have written in the past and had an old blog (miss them to death) but i considered myself rebranded since i am not in that fandom anymore + i believeeee i have a new in depth writing style since ive found myself and actually started taking in my passion for writing.

F!POCS+PLUS-SIZE SAFE

All women (and possible men) different shades, sizes, personalities is welcome to my blog and id love to share my stories for everyone to enjoy if you’re willing to read it😘!

WHO DOES SHII WRITE FOR?

I write for Timothee Chalamet and his characters, but for right now, i will only be writing for Timmy, Paul, and Lee

Overtime i will adapt to new characters/actors.

WHAT DOES SHE WRITE?

I write everything! Smut, fluff, angst, all of that.

WHEN WILL SHE POST?

every sunday/monday at 12 am/pm for series, if no series and just imagines then really whenever i feel like it!

HAVE A REQUEST/QUESTION, COME TALK!

My asks are always open for everyone, requests are always open, although it might take me time to get to it so i just ask you be patient due to my busy schedule/or if i just have personal issues/or if i just dont want to write at the moment, but I will get to you.

I have no filter, if you need help/advice, ill give it to you straight. Ive learned from other’s mistakes that you shouldnt water down anything.

If how i respond bothers you, dont ask! Simple as that. My blog, my rules.

IMPORTANT NOTE!!

Please don’t recommend how my series should go. Most likey its already half-written/done. not saying we cannot talk about it/have perdictions, i would love that!

ITS NEVER OVER| I . II . III . IV -> COMPLETE

⤳ A life of loving Paul Atredies. You want to love him and keep him in your life and by your side as long as possible, but when he offers the hand to princess Irulan, you just couldnt.

IMAGINES

I AM WHO I AM -> COMING SOON

Y/n, a shy eater with no parents but daddys money takes a trip and moves to San Francisco, on the way there, it wasn’t pleasant considering she just met this boy, and she makes it up by buying him dinner, but they stay connected even after the bad first encounter.

IMAGINES

[yourlocaldragondealer]

so i kinda saw a lot of discourse about arya and eragons relationship in the past few days so this is my take on it

First of all, the age gap. I already went on a rant about it somewhere but i dont wanna look for it so ill give you a quick sum up of my opinion: I think they should either separate for a long while, both get their stuff sorted out (because my god you are both deeply traumatized) maybe getting into other relationships, then see how they feel about each other when they rejoice, or they should just be friends for the same long while and then slowly develop into lovers. Right now the relationship would be immensely unequal and unhealthy.

Then i also think eragons behaviour was a bit weird during the books (dude pls she said no just accept it) but if they were separated and/ or allowed to grow for a century or two (or more) he would hopefully become aware of that.

So on to my third point which is that i think they would have a really really great friendship dynamic, even if they decide to never have a romantic relationship. Part of that is that murtagh, eragon and arya being a chaotic trio would do many good things for my heart but also, look at the possibilities. They could be teachers for the younger dragonriders together (given that arya abdicates, which i really hope she does at some point - again something i talked about in another post already but in this case it would also be important for political reasons since it shouldnt be assumed eragon favours the elves bc he loves arya) and arya and saphira would make fun of eragon and theyd have more of the evenings that they had in the faelnirv scene in inheritance. Just be the people they werent allowed to be during the war, be themselves and actually get to know each other outside of life and death situations. This would be great for a romantic relationship too, of course, but if this happened, i would be completely on board with them only being friends to, maybe even more than them being lovers.

so thats my opinion/hopes for it. They should be friends first and lovers only after growing separately/a lot later. If they even go there.

That being said i love both of them a lot. I just wanted to put that out there.

#eragon #eragon shadeslayer #arya drottningu #arya shadeslayer #the inheritance cycle #christopher paolini #arya and eragon #this got me thinking if we should give them a shipname but those kinda dont exist in the fandom do they #im proposing aryagon anyway #and for good measure Nasuathag bc i havent seen a name for them either #this derailed a bit sorry

[enden-k]

Wait so if Kaveh is a Masochist whats Alhaitham then

i wouldnt say kaveh is a masochist (it just has potential to make him one for fics or art etc based on his (unhealthy) behavior, hes not explicitly saying he enjoys the pain)

kaveh finding comfort in pain and punishment shouldnt be understood as him enjoying it and desiring it. it means that he feels undeserving of kindness and goodwill directed at him as he genuinely believes he is to blame for the pain of his family. it is unfamiliar to him and makes him uncomfortable. the constant pain and guilt he lives in for years is more familiar to him that it is almost comforting. it is what he is used to. it is familiar.

thats how i think/interpret it at least. similar to xiao

usually i wouldnt reply to ask like this on my main blog but rather on my other blog but i think its actually important to point out here too before it gets misunderstood or taken as canon akjbcsk

anw if you would wanna make him a masochist for fic or art purposes, i believe he wouldnt enjoy hard, physical pain. it would be more of mental pain, like humiliation. not in an actually harmful way by opening deep wounds or reminding him of the guilt, that would be a huge no to do, obviously. but rather harsh words, names, etc in a sexy way and atmosphere. a slightly bruising grip here, a sharp bite on his ear there. insulting or embarrassing words whispered into his ear, stuff like this

and after, he seeks out physical comfort and warmth. a tight hug and "i love you"s whispered into skin.

al haitham actually says of himself that he doesnt find pleasure in other peoples misery and he also doesnt look down on others. based on all of this, i dont think he would be a sadist. personally, i think he would be neutral0000000000000000001111111111111111122220000000000000

(my cat stepped on my keyboard, she wanted to add smth to al haitham i guess)

i will add the rest on my other blog because it turned more and more suggestive, as expected when answering an ask like this KJBCAYKBS

#reply #rambles #headcanons #hcs #genshin leaks

[hearts4juzi]

Why do you think Helluva Boss is better, in terms of writing?

OOOH i have a LOT to say about this.

I think it's a lot less rushed. it FEELS a lot less rushed. And thats not saying its all perfect, it went pretty fast too, but not as fast as hazbin.

For example, hazbin had this big deadline and they had to fit in angels arc, the carmilla/vaggie situation, the heaven stuff, AND charlies shit with her dad. So despite it being a comedy, they had to stuff a LOT of things together, which means theres less chance for filler which means it gets rushed. (bc honestly, it feels less like a comedy and more like an edgy teen humor show BECAUSE they're stuffing the comedy in while rushing to get all the important lore bits in)

so helluva boss feels more like a comedy. they have serious moments, but it leaves space for jokes and humor that dont feel out of place (for example, in the hh finale they kept making jokes that rlly didnt fit? like charlie profusely apologizing to angels who are slaughtering her people? or when pentious died and it was a joke but we were supposed to take it seriously???)

helluva boss has episodes with less emotional baggage in them, like the pilot, murder family, spring broken, and CHERUB, and the harvest moon festival, all in season one. and while they do HAVE emotional moments, theyre not super heavy. then you have episodes that feel like a mix, like truth seekers and loo loo land. and then you have heavy episodes like ozzie's and queen bee. its much more balanced (and im focusing on s1 of hb bc its unfair to pit a two season show against a one season show.)

also also also, and this is smth i complain about a lot, Hazbin Hotel is OBSESSED with making their characters as likeable as possible. unfortunately this falls on characters who DONT DESERVE IT. Like angel dust. When he harassed husk, it was supposed to be humor and funny and whatever, but when husk snapped at him, he was the bad guy suddenly. and angel still never apologized. and im not saying hb doesnt have that issue (ESPECIALLY with stolas) but i think its handled better.

blitzo is a good example. i have complaints about the circus situation, but in the end hes still not a good guy, excuse or not. he's rude, he's nosy, he's dismissive. he hunts his sister down despite her making it very clear she doesnt wanna see him. and he brushes off stolas and even uses him under the guise of a sweet date. in general, blitzo is just waaay better handled than angel dust is.

i also like the villains more? theyre not made out to be a joke as much as the villians in hazbin (per my earlier statement about all the humor being stuffed in) crimson is made to be genuinely intimidating, striker, while mocked a lot, is still a very serious villain, mammon is a big joke on purpose, and it makes sense! and then other antagonists (verosika, one and two, ect) are made out to be funny because theyre NOT big villains, they're just bitches who have beef with imp. the worst villain in hb is, of course, the one woman, stella. but thats a conversation for another ask.

meanwhile the hazbin villains are sooo dumbed down. our most serious villain was lute. adam was a huge joke and relatively annoying at times? like most of what he did was watered down by bad jokes (like killing pentious??? ppl seem to forget adam beat alastor without even tearing his clothes and its because everytime hes on screen theres a terrible joke about to be made) and the vees are just??? eh??? i dont have a TON of complaints about velvette aside from how little she actually did to the point where she hardly feels like a villain? shes moreso just annoying. and then vox hypnotizes people and hes like. evil ceo type shit but thats overshadowed by his crazy ass beef with alastor because again, he didnt do much else. and then val had that stupid scene with vox that i hate so so so so much. hes made out to be funny when he SHOULDNT BE!!! They dont take val's character seriously its weird. ick. and also we didnt have many villains to even go off of? helluva boss gave us lots of characters to work with in season one, and all of them are unique in some way, and had time to shine and will have more time to shine later because the story isnt rushing. hazbin INSISTED on concluding this arc in one season when it really shouldn't have. they didnt have the time to do it, and they tried anyway. helluva boss is better because they gave it TIME. striker is introduced in season one and we KNOW he'll come back because he got away! and he does! and hes great because they gave him TIME to be there and be gone and be there and be gone.

and now he's our most recurring villain. and i think hes awesome. crimson didnt actually have a lot of time to vanish and come back, but hes also new so its a bit different. and he had two episodes in between showing up and disappearing, and the second one had more focus on striker anyways.

i think that while hazbin is a 4/10 for me (5 if im being generous), helluva boss is a 6 or 7/10. the worst part about the helluva boss writing is stolas's family and how the women are written tbh.

tldr: helluva boss is better paced and the characters are better, and hazbin hotel is too rushed and forces these characters onto you

#tzu rambles #tzu asks #tzu rants #hazbin hotel criticism

[transboy-takeover]

party boy

the contents of this text aren’t an endorsement of problematic elements. this is for the purpose of sexual fantasy.

(tw: NONCON hypnokink, twisted gender norms based brainwashing, sluttification, transmasc bimbofication, forced transmasculinization, free use, a sprinkle of dumbification)

——

oh, i love deep talk, it’s okay. oh, my turn? ok, well…

i know you didn’t know me before we met at this party, but like everyone tells me i’m so much more fun since i started going to my hypnotherapist!

i was so anxious about being a bad feminist because i was a bad example of a woman. i thought i was making all the men in my life worse by living up to all the cliches. i was embarrassed by how weak i was, how much i just wanted attention, how much i cared about pleasing others. i was trying to be more than just like, a pretty slut.

my therapist helped me consider other options!

like, listen, for example: maybe it’s okay if i like cute clothes. maybe it’s okay for anybody to like cute things. even men can wear cute things. my taste doesn’t actually tell me anything about my gender. i don’t know anything about my gender from that. i don’t know like, anything… i don’t know…

sorry, i spaced out. anyway, here’s what i meant to say: maybe it’s okay if i don’t want to do anything serious with my life! it was unfair for me to think it was a bad look for a woman to be completely superficial. i could be superficial even if i’m not a woman! i could be a superficial man, even. i could be totally superficial either way, and that’s ok. i am like… totally… superficial…

oh, i guess i got distracted. you wanna hear more stuff i learned in therapy? it’s so like important and smart: maybe it’s okay if i’m not comfortable with my femininity. maybe i could explore my femininity more securely if i also explore my masculinity. exploring my relationship with gender is always safe. opening my mind for my therapist is always safe… hehe why are you looking at me like that? oh, of course, you can touch me if you want! i literally don’t care haha. thanks for asking but you don’t even have to ask at a party like this, ok?

what else… it’d okay to be a party girl if i were a guy, so i shouldn’t worry about it, right? what do i mean? well, like, it’d be okay to show off some skin if i were a man, it’d be okay to seek attention if i were a man, it’d be okay to chat with men all night if i were a man, it’d be ok to fuck someone i never met before if i were a man, so why should i hold myself to a different standard? i could just be a man! or, um, i mean, i can also just like, party regardless of my gender, it’s fine and it’s like hot and stuff.

it’s hot because, like, it’d be okay to dance and entice men if i were a man, so i shouldnt let that stop me. i love to dance and show off my body. it’d be okay if i were always flirting with men if i were a guy, so i shouldn’t worry. i love to flirt with men as a guy.

it’d be okay if i were a slut for men if i were a man. i don’t worry. i could be a man. i don’t really worry about where feelings like that come from, and i don’t think about it. i can’t let my silly thoughts get in the way of my feelings all the time! mmhhh… oh, that just feels good. sorry for trailing off. do you touch party sluts a lot? that’s hot.

huh? i’m distracted again? oh what was i talking about… oh! right! i mean, it’s okay if i thought i was a girl and realize i’m a boy. i don’t need to worry about what people think of me just because i used to be a girl. yeah, you can touch my tits. limited time offer! hehe

it’s like OKAY for me to be a slutty boytoy. and that’s such a relief! i don’t worry about where that feeling came from. it’s okay for me to show people my body as a slutty boytoy. i think these feelings are my real gender shining through. it’s okay to let these feelings replace my old worries. that’s why i went to therapy. to clean up my thoughts. to fix my gender problems…

…you know, you look so familiar, actually. do i know you from somewhere? huh? uhh… no, you’re right, it doesn’t matter. you’re right, i don’t even bother to remember everyone that touches me anyway. yes. you’re right. yes. i don’t recognize you. yes. it doesn’t matter. i like being touched whether or not i know who’s touching me. i don’t care. mhh. i don’t care. touch me…..

huh? i spaced out, sorry. i’m so tired, i don’t even remember how i got to this party. i always find my way home though!

now i don’t feel bad about being a pretty, flirty slut. it’s so much easier now that my therapist helped me realize i’m a man. it’s okay to be giggly and shallow and superficial if it only affects how people see me!

it’s okay to let people touch my chest like this if i have facial hair. it’s uhmm… it’s like a tradeoff? oh, thanks, i agree i’ll look better after surgery. i don’t remember when i scheduled it, but it’s actually coming up pretty soon. i’m glad you like them right now too, though. hehe.

that’s another thing, it’s ok to let strangers see and touch my chest before surgery, and it’ll be even better after surgery. everyone’s really happy for me. all my new friends want to see me become more and more of a slutty boytoy for them. everyone likes staring at me so much, and i love it. i feel like i do anyway. i don’t need to think about anything too much. i don’t need to think. i just feel good. i don’t need to think. it feels so good. right there. mmhh…

#read my transmasculine slutification boy #<— coping #forced transmasculinization

[khaleesiofalicante]

The smut question:

I like it when the smut feels like a natural next step for the characters and actually goes with the plot. I know that kinda cliche but i dont wanna feel like im snooping through something i shouldnt be even if they are “just characters and not real people”.

Also dialogue between the characters involved is SO good (think malec’s first time in tlnd). Cause we love healthy communication in this household.

I don’t really know what makes a bad smut bad- i guess it just is but that doesnt make sense. I dont like violence in sex so if that’s involved it makes a smut scene bad to me but thats not an objective bad smut characteristic. Maybe if the scene is rushed and doesnt follow well with the rest of the chapter it’d be bad.

I know you’re not very comfortable writing smut and I don’t know how smutty what you’re planning is going to be but I’ve liked the smutty scenes you’ve incorporated in your other stories and I’m sure it’ll be good this time too.

Oh something else I thought of which is actually pretty important! Sex is a lot about sensation and feelings. In reading you can’t feel what the character is feeling solely based on the actions happening so it’s important for the smut scene to be from a POV (set or switch doesnt really matter). This lets the reader actually understand what’s happening. For example “he felt […] as […] instead of JUST saying “they did […]”

Best,

Asterin

Thanks so much, Asterin!

I agree! Communication is key. I personally find it hard to read/follow smut where it's just descriptions and no one is saying anything hehe .

Your last advice about focusing on feelings and not just actions is so useful! Thank you so much 💖

#my writing