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#i wanna talk about my 3 girlfriends who kill ppl pls can we talk about my 3 gfs who kill ppl!!!!!
nokillbananashelter · 4 years
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Barret, holding a flimsy evil man over a railing: "THIS is our chance to liberate Midgar from the violent, fascist, corporate police state that just MURDERED THOUSANDS without remorse! The climate crisis can FINALLY be addressed! Aerith can finally see justice for her mother, her people, herself, AND THE PLANET! Tifa, we can finally have justice for our community and our friends. We've built our lives around this ONE VERY JUSTIFIED goal, and with this one act we can start to save untold thousands of lives. Also, this talking dog we just met who speaks in vague destiny terms is giving off some BIG "FUCK SHINRA" vibes! Didn't need the woo-woo bullshit he's spouting, but it IS a talking dog, so I'll take it. You're alright, talking dog.
Cloud, thank you for aiding us in taking down this evil family, for understanding the oppression we all face, and for letting justice prevail in this moment. I misjudged you as a bootlicking edgelord befo-"
Cloud, after experiencing the full spectrum of irredeemable evil Shinra bullshit: "omg ya idk how about both sides Shinra helps people sometimes did u see the vid they made IDK lol haha anyway I just wanna rescue my new girlfriend and leave :/ :/ :/ :/ ”
Barret: " ....what the actual f -"
Cloud: "also I'm in charge now pls escort my new OP gf instead"
Barret: "........uh, okay, but literally killing these two piece of shit men will cripple Shinra and allow Avalanche to rebuild our communitie-"
Tifa, who punches nazi filled robo-helicopters to death like its nothing while wearing a sports bra: "I AGREE WITH CLOUD!! We Can't Win this Fight!!!! DON'T KILL THESE PPL!! PROTECT AERITH She NEEDS HELP I’m SCAREd, WE'RE OUTMATCHED and VIOLENCE IS WRONG :C :c ”
Barret, looking between his mega turbo gatling gun arm that DEFINITELY KILLED some WEIRD ASS DREAM-TIMESPACE-DEMON about 2 SECONDS AGO and then back at the evil businessman's discount-Hitler-David-Bowie son and his shitty naked cat: “you.....guys.....sure...... about that......?"
Aerith, who summons ancient violent gods to kill randos and has literally every reason and capability to blow up the entire Shinra building herself: “NO Barret violence is wrong pls don't murder mr president or his son that is a MEAN THING 2 DO!!!pls Protec me Barret. Cloud said so :3”
RedXIII: *unopinionated vacant stare*
Barret, absolutely stunned:
"...........................?
????????
???????????
......................????????????
???????
????
?????????????????????????
???????
......................
......OOoooookkkaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy???????"
(((Fantasy friends spend the rest of the game dealing with fascist corporate police state they failed to end, that will continue to murder and pillage, but also theres another dumb sword guy messing with shit too)))
Barret: Actually, FUCK you guys
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whittynovels · 6 years
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restore me predictions 2
*"It made me wish I’d had a sister. Or a mother. Someone to learn from and lean on. A woman to teach me how to be brave in this body, among these men" -Juliette gets friends!!!!! -I want juliette to get a makeover and people who give her boy advice and talk with her about girl stuff and ugh girls -She was never this way with the twins it always felt so awkward *Will Kenji get a love interest? -“he tries” -kenji totes flirts with international people -is the ex-girlfriend his????? -tahereh said kenji doesn’t get anyone in this book but thats ok we'll have a slow burn over a 3 book arc it's what he deserves -T said it’s someone we don’t already know which is fair bc everyone we already know he said is too much like a sister to him so it would be weird *Juliette’s favorite color is black? Sounds fake but ok *JAMES AND WARNER JAMES AND WARNER JAMES AND WA -“were you CRYING?” ummmm just fucking punch me in the lung next time -honestly is every character in this book just gonna witness a warner breakdown why we gotta do him so dirty like that -james is gonna be so mad when they find out they’re brothers because in unravel me he gets pissed about not being told stuff/getting left out -I don’t think it’ll happen this soon *WARNER’S EMO POWERS IN HIS POV -THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE THING I’M EXCITED FOR AND SHE HASN’T SHOWN IT YET IN THE SAMPLER SO I WAS WORRIED BUT YIPPEE I CANT WAIT TO GET CUTE WARNETTE SCENES WHERE WARNER IS AWARE OF JULIETTE'S FEELINGS AND ASKS HER ABOUT IT AND WANTS TO VALIDATE THAT SHE FEELS OKAY ASFUGHJKL;; *JULIETTE DRINKING ADFSGUHDIJ’K -I always wanted to write this but idk -Juliette is happy drunk / warner is emo drunk -Warner super concerned taking care of her *More people with powers? [we been knew reaction pic] -I honestly couldn’t guess any of the powers without just reciting powers from twilight or something lol *Kenji calling warner a dick and warner wanting to punch him -ME -Tahereh is teasing so much kenji & warner dialogue that it makes me wonder about them. Why are they together so much. Why does warner trust kenji. What. Help. Slow down *THE KIND OF MUSIC WARNER LISTENS TO -Either smooth jazz or beyonce, there’s no in between *What warner did to be leader of sector 45 -Pressure waves dude??? -No other predictions. no clue. help. *A cliffhanger?? -I honestly can’t tell you what state my anxiety will be in if there’s a cliffhanger -I think it’ll mirror other books where there’s certainly stuff unsolved but it’s not like someone dies then it’s like “aight, see ya next year” *She keeps hinting about deaths but tbh I don’t think anything will happen until book 6 -She did this with ignite me thinking big deaths would happen but it was nothing -I think she teases to create angst and fear but we’ll be fine -I trust her (t don’t let me down) *Another chapter 55 (◕‿◕✿) *lgbt characters !!!!!!!!! kenji, Brendan, Winston, whatever mans kenji gets *nO ADAM AND KENJI BRO MOMENTS HAHAHAHA -Kenji roasts adam at every opportunity *wARNER SPEAKING SEVERAL LANGUAGES UUGHGHHHHH WHAT A MAN!!!!!! WHAT A MAN, MY DUDES!!!!!!!!!!!! -Seven languages? Oh my lORDDT -I’m not even gonna predict what they are but hooooleeeee mollleeeeeey -We get to see him speak “a couple” ugghhhh I can’t wait to see juliette hear him break into Arabic or something and she’s just like !!!!!!!!!!!! *When asked about juliette and adam’s friendship growing, tahereh said “he’s a part of the story and there’s more left to come” and im just like noooooooo -At the same time, juliette is so forgiving I don’t doubt they’ll finally talk *PPL ROAST ME ABOUT AN ADAM REDEMPTION ARC BUT JUST THINK ABOUT WARNER AND ADAM’S FRIENDSHIP AND ADAM BEING SOMEONE WHO CAN SAVE THEM ALL IF HE PROJECTS HIS POWER AND DISABLES OTHERS’. I’M JUST SAYIN G *WARNER NAKED CRYING ON THE GROUND -WARNER HAS ANXIETY??? PLS LET WARNER HAVE ANXIETY I WANT ANXIETY REP -But at the same time I don’t because #tooreal -I feel like she posted this quote so out of context and it could be nothing but I leapt to the worst conclusions -Why isn’t juliette there? Did they have a fight? Did something happen to her? Did he read his dad’s journals? -DOES KENJI SEE HIS SCARS? -Is warner completely naked?? I’m so confused. I’M SO CONFUSED *Kenji calling warner cute constantly mY HEArt *WHY IS JULIETTE’S POV SPOILERY -Is she kidnapped??? Is she miserable??? Is a character with mind control powers harming her??? Is she separated from warner? Like WHAT??? It’s so spoilery that she can’t even find one quote to give us? *THE VALENTINES DAY SNIPPET -JULIETTE’S CONFIDENCE -THE TOWEL -WARNER’S POV SEXYTIMES -FWUJAOIFPKOIOBLHEIJKMF -SLIHBFLABKVLEAJFGFYOUDLHIJF -I was legit sobbing I was so happy for the first warnette kiss in 4 years -(lowkey wish there was more dialogue and description but that feels almost gluttonous at this point because we are so fortunate for having it at all) *Tahereh said she “likes” the ending of restore me -I don’t think we’ll have a cliffhanger, like I said. -She said “I don’t think it’s sad” so I hope it’s empowering like previous books -T said juliette is her favorite, ever, by the end of RM, so I think she’s fine and she doesn’t die clearly lol *AN EX-GIRLFRIEND COMES INTO PLAY -WHOSE??? WHAT IS THE TRUTH?????? -WHO IS GONNA CLAIM THIS WOMAN -Warner? Is it one of the overseas people? MY MANS IS A HOE!!!!! He out here saying “I didn’t have friends” but he actually meant “I had friends with benefits” -Kenji? Adam? Castle? I literally wish it were anyone else lol I’m solid on my theory of juliette being warner’s first everything but the internet and the author say otherwise *It’s confirmed that juliette MEETS her parents!!!!!! Oufhaouhilvgudyahisjkop;pzfx;ia I’MS O  EXCITED SHE’S GONNA ROAST THEM I’M REA DY FOR HER TO ROOOAST THEM!! -Also warner said in unravel me he wants to kill whoever made her miserable as a kid so I want warner to threaten them or pull a gun or something and im just ready for there to be tea -The biggest question I have—more than what warner did to be leader of sector 45—is what her parents are like. Not even just physically and with their personalities. I’m so split on wondering if they’re sorry or if they still hate her. Are they happy without her? Do they regret it? Will they accept her as she is now? Will they learn to trust her? *New novellas??!!?!! -I was shocked we didn’t get one before this book. -Whose POV? We get a kenji short story so maybe from him. Since we get warner POV in the book, it’s not as important anymore as a separate novella. So it’s gotta be kenji, adam, castle, Anderson, someone, idk. james? new characters? -Maybe it’ll have bonus content from previous books in the trilogy (LS PS LP PL SP L S PL SPL S PLS PLS PL SPL S PLS PL S PLS) *The bird symbolism comes back I’m emo -Juliette flying (ie. Airplanes, she becomes the bird herself? Idk) -I always thought it was so weird that the “the bird I imagined is the bird on adam’s chest” conflict/coincidence was just randomly dropped. -Does juliette become adam’s bird? -DOES MY GIRL FINALLY GET TO SEE A BIRD???? AHHHHHHH --i used to want ignite me to end with her seeing a bird so maybe i can finally have my dream come true and one of these books has her seeing a bird in it *Juliette’s powers are still growing -Unless it has to do with killing people and not physically moving stuff like castle then idk. I’m conflicted about this one. *More about warner’s mom, it’s ok I’m just gonna cry over here *Warner’s virginity better not be a hot topic in this book because I am tired and I’m so happy not knowing -Same how I feel with sex scenes like ty for having them but I don’t need to be ~too~ well-acquainted with their anatomy, ya know? pls no sarah j maas porn in these woods, thank you *Juliette and warner get to travel!!!!!!! -Now that warner knows how to drive a helicopter I just imagine them being like “hey Barbie wanna go for a ride” “sure ken” “hop in” then I don’t wanna live forever starts playing because wasn’t there a helicopter scene in fifty shades *Warner and his 5 o’clock shadow sounds fake bc in unravel me when he was being held captive there was no beard [angery frog meme] -Why my mans so stressed he aint shavin????????? He needs a hug and 3 advil *SHE EITHER GETS A HAIRCUT OR A TATTOO IN THIS BOOK -I’m 50/50. On one hand, she mentioned in ignite me that she needs a haircut, but I really really reall yreally hate haircuts in books so I’m salty -Also Ive always wished she’d get a tattoo bc it’s so empowering and she has a lot of mantras she lives by and warner is such a cheerleader for them and he would love it too *WARNER IS LITERALLY THE EMBODIMENT OF CAR RADIO ABOUT OUTRUNNING SILENCE OAUHOSJIKO;DI;FSLDGYHIJ MY MANS IS EMO AND I LOVE AND SUPPORT HIM UNCONDITIONALLY -I’m concerned that he and juliette aren’t together more in this book. She’s in a meeting he’s not invited to??? Aaron warner? More like aaron burr, not being in the room where it happened
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vaalinors · 6 years
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you’re the anchor (that i tied to my brain)
Edward Elric to the last jedi 9 pm DON’T BE FUCKING LATE IM TALKIN TO U YAO: pray tell where the fuck is my brother
Edward Elric: it is 8 o fucking clock 
Edward Elric: im locked the fuck out of the house 
Edward Elric: and al STILL ISN’T BACK FROM HIS GODFUCK SHITHOLE DATE
Paninya: ed take a deep breath n hurl urself into a pond or smth
Paninya: als been freakin out about mei for at least 38478392 years now
Paninya: let him relieve his thirst
Paninya: AND BTW THIS IS UR OWN DAMN FAULT
Edward Elric: how in The FUCK???? is this MY FAULT??????
Paninya: u couldve had a perfectly gross dorm on campus bUT NO U HAD TO BE BOUJEE N RENT AN APARTMENT WITH UR BROTHER
Edward Elric: IM ONLY LOCKED OUT BC AL LOST HIS GODDAMN KEY AND I
Edward Elric: BEING THE SAINTLY BROTHER THAT I AM
Ling Yao: w0w thats a lie
Edward Elric: GAVE HIM MINE AND NOW I GOTTA SCREAM AT HIM TILL HE PUTS HIS TONGUE BACK IN HIS OWN MOUTH AND COMES THE FUCK BACK
Winry Rockbell: u reeaaallly dont gotta
Paninya: have u heard??? of this thing??????
Paninya: called????? pm?????????????
Paninya: bc its a thing u could use to bitch at al without annoyin the entire shit outta the rest of us
Ling Yao: lol lan fans at her grandpas rn and her phone cant be put on silent
Ling Yao: shes going to kick ur ass
Edward Elric: IM gonna kick ALS ass if he doesnt show up in the next half hour I DONT CARE IF HES ON A FUCKIN DATE
Ling Yao: may i remind u my sister is the girl ur brothers currently wooing
Ling Yao: u do that and lan fan wont be the only one kicking ur ass
Edward Elric: what think u can take me weakLing
Ling Yao: uh duh but i was talking about mei
Edward Elric: PLS shes what half a foot tall????? PLSSSSSSS
Lan Fan: so twice as tall as you
Edward Elric: DO,,,,,U WANT,,,,,,.,TO FUCKING DIE,,,,,,,.,.,,,,
Lan Fan: edward
Lan Fan: i am at my grandfathers house
Lan Fan: my phone is ringing so loud my neighbors think their doorbells r broken
Lan Fan: my grandfather is ready to smash it into oblivion
Lan Fan: if he does we WILL be reliving 3/10 and youll be tasting a lot more than just your stomach acid when im done with you
Lan Fan: do not make me sneak out of training to answer you again
Paninya: Rekt™
Ling Yao: mic drop
Edward Elric: psh whatever
Edward Elric: u fuckers think 3/10 scared me
Edward Elric: GUESS FUCKING AGAIN
Edward Elric: FUCKING C O M E  A T  M E
Paninya: o look shes typing
Edward Elric: anyway im gonna pm al goodnight and thank u
Winry Rockbell to is it gay to want to literally drink ushers voice: OI AL how was the date
Winry Rockbell: I WANT DETAILS
Edward Elric: if anyone wants to know how to be the Creepiest Fucking Person Ever
Edward Elric: talk to winry
Winry Rockbell: well seeing that i won best ed impression two years in a row now id say i do indeed know
Edward Elric: HAR DE HAR
Edward Elric: u think u fucking know me???
Alphonse Elric: Is it hard?
Paninya: yea all u rlly gotta do is yell fuck a lot
Alphonse Elric: Put ur hair in a braid with one obnoxious ass strand sticking right up
Winry Rockbell: dont forget u have to crouch down
Winry Rockbell: i recommend kneeling
Edward Elric: dont think i cant deck all u shitdicks
Ling Yao: ive just annoyed the info out of my sister
Ling Yao: it seems al is quite the casanova
Ling Yao: clearly not a family trait BUT
Edward Elric: i will piss in ur backpack
Ling Yao: case in point
Ling Yao: ANYWAYS UPDATE ON THE BET FRONT
Ling Yao: as im sure u all know ned, roy mustang and i have had an ongoing wager AKA who can wrangle the most freshies into joining his club
Ling Yao: well as of today the martial arts/dance troupe has 20 more members
Edward Elric: BULLSHIT
Ling Yao: and i believe that pulls me ahead of ned to tie evenly with mustang
Ling Yao: and really would any of u choose archery over martial arts??
Paninya: tbh i choose social life over any clubs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edward Elric: basic bitch
Paninya: u kno it
Paninya: but srsly wtf shifty how did u get 20 new members so fast
Lan Fan: he showed off and gave his number out to like half of them
Ling Yao: :O how could u EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS
Ling Yao: I tRuSTeD YOu
Lan Fan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edward Elric: just u fuckin wait ling
Edward Elric: ill leave both u asshats in the GROUND
Alphonse Elric: I mean first u have to
Alphonse Elric: Yknow
Alphonse Elric: Be taller than the ground
Edward Elric: I LIVE WITH U I CAN MAKE UR LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE U HEAR
Winry Rockbell to kyle ron WHOMST???: so about laser tag this weekend
Winry Rockbell: invite lings sister yay or nay
Lan Fan: why not
Rosé Thomas: It’d even us out
Rebecca Catalina: does it even matter tbh we all kno whichever team rizas on is gonna win
Riza Hawkeye: Catalina i resent that statement
Rebecca Catalina: pls point to me where thE LIE IS HAWKEYE
Winry Rockbell: ok then
Winry Rockbell added Mei Chang to the chat
Paninya: EY UVE JUST BECOME PART OF THE MESS THAT IS US SOPHS
Maria Ross: and a few seniors
Paninya: WE’RE BASICALLY A KPOP GROUP BUT BETTER (ʘ‿ʘ✿)
Lan Fan: ok we’re going laser tagging this weekend you in
Mei Chang: i feel like i may die if i say no so as long as my idiot brother isn’t going i’m in
Paninya to could u actually perhaps makin bacon pancakes: [DELETED MESSAGE]
Ling Yao: wot
Alphonse Elric: Whos going laser tagging
Winry Rockbell: pan ffs
Paninya: (◔◡◔✿)
Edward Elric: fuckin RUDE
Lan Fan to Panko: what is it
Panko: i have no idea what u mean my dear
Lan Fan: uve been typing for an hour now AND i can hear your teeth grinding from my room
Panko: i have no idea what u could be referring to my sweet
Panko: i just wanna kno how ur days been
Lan Fan: this is about ling isnt it
Panko: dear
Panko: u used an emoji
Panko: u never use emojis
Lan Fan: look i get that youre just looking out for me
Lan Fan: but its fine and so am i
Lan Fan: i really dont need a pity heart to heart
Lan Fan: besides hed give out his number to everyone in the world if he could thats just who he is
Panko: well ur not wrong
Panko: is it bad to say im so glad i rarely have to deal with bois
Lan Fan: girls can be idiots too
Panko: ppl in general usually r
Alphonse Elric to WE CANT KEEP DOWN ALL THAT VODKA ON KRAFT MAC N CHEESE: So i cant feel
Ling Yao: mY FACE WHEN IM WITH U
Alphonse Elric: That and the rest of my body
Alphonse Elric: How is one person so funny and sweet and amazing
Paninya: MY SON HES IN LOVE YALL
Paninya: ITS TRUE FUCKIN LOVE
Paninya: ELRIC 2.0 TEXT ME IF U NEED ANYTHIN
Paninya: CONDOMS
Winry Rockbell: oh god
Paninya: BIRTH CONTROL
Edward Elric: PAN WHAT THE FUCK U THINK AL KNOWS WHAT A CONDOM IS
Paninya: HE IS A HORNY TEENAGE BOI I BET U MY ENTIRE ASS HES USED ONE BEFORE
Lan Fan: PANINYA
Mei Chang: uh
Paninya: oh fuck
Ling Yao: mei so it was U that made that balloon fart noise just now
Lan Fan: ling kindly shut up
Edward Elric: SO AL ISNT BREATHING I THINK HES DEAD
Edward Elric: HES BEEN STARING AT HIS PHONE FOR 10 MINS NOW FUCK WHAT DO I DO
Paninya: CALL 911 U MORON
Lan Fan: where do you live i know CPR
Ling Yao: thats hot
Winry Rockbell: MEI PRETEND U CANT READ
Mei Chang: er i can’t read suddenly i don’t know
Ling Yao: (╯°□°)╯now she gives in to the memes
Edward Elric: ok nvm hes alive
Edward Elric: buT I M NOT GONNA BE FUC KBRB RUNNINGgh
Paninya: rip in peace
Alphonse Elric to how Extra™ do u gotta be to come up with fuccboi: So we’re still down for gta tomorrow right
Alphonse Elric: Ed cant make it because i killed him
Ling Yao: the old ed cant come to the phone right now
Ling Yao: why
Edward Elric: because hes going to cut off lings fucking elbows
Roy Mustang: can you even reach his fingers
Edward Elric: listeN HERE U liL SHIT
Alphonse Elric kicked Edward Elric from the chat
Ling Yao: thats cold
Ling Yao added Edward Elric to the chat
Roy Mustang: i knew it couldnt last
Edward Elric: if any of u polefucks ever want to know how to get ling to do something bother lan fan
Ling Yao: try it again and i will Key Your Face
Ling Yao: she has a physics test tomorrow
Alphonse Elric: Wow
Roy Mustang: :O
Jean Havoc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Edward Elric: i got the beer for tmr night
Alphonse Elric: Damn right u do im not letting u in otherwise
Edward Elric: ignore asshurt over here hes pissed i embarrassed him in front of his date
Roy Mustang: at least he has one
Jean Havoc: yeah have u ever had a girlfriend edward??
Denny Brosh: Do you know what a woman is ned????
Edward Elric has left the chat
Ling Yao to Good Shit ✔💯: hey lan fan
Ling Yao: LAN FAAAAAN
Good Shit ✔💯: what
Ling Yao: guess who i just saw in chem doodling one miss rockbells name on his hw
Good Shit ✔💯: no
Ling Yao: oh yes
Ling Yao: i wanted to take a pic but ed decided to be a good student and tore it off before handing it in
Good Shit ✔💯: does he even try in chem
Ling Yao: no but at least he doesnt fall asleep like he does in lit
Good Shit ✔💯: hemingway puts everyone to sleep
Good Shit ✔💯: read some brontë or steinbeck
Good Shit ✔💯: id say dickens too but anti Semitism and all
Ling Yao: i love it when u talk lit to me
Ling Yao: reminds me of when u used to sneak into our library and read the biggest books u could find
Good Shit ✔💯: better than you climbing up the side of my house to sneak into my room
Ling Yao: pls u loved it
Good Shit ✔💯: debatable
Good Shit ✔💯: club meetings today dont forget
Ling Yao: how can i ur always here to remind me ;)
Winry Rockbell added Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Maria Ross, and Rebecca Catalina to ROSE TYLER DEFENSE SQUAD WHERE YALL AT
Winry Rockbell: just so we’re clear friday nights a byob sitch
Lan Fan: well wade was totally off
Ling Yao: atta girl
Paninya: wow and here i was thinkin byob meant bug ur own business
Edward Elric: what the utter fuck
Alphonse Elric: Dont act coy u LIVED a bugs life ed
Winry Rockbell: BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE CAPICHE
Winry Rockbell: jesus now ive got the kim possible theme song stuck in my head
Edward Elric: if one of u picks yoshi i will e n d  u
Paninya: no promises n its not our fault yoshi pushed ur fool ass off mushroom gorge that one time
Rebecca Catalina: LMAOOO
Edward Elric: that demonic fucking dinosaur needs to go extinct
Roy Mustang: since brosh doesnt give a shit do we want to make this a floor thing
Ling Yao: i see what ur doing mercedes benz u sneak ass
Roy Mustang: you caught up yao i can finally start trying
Edward Elric: news flash fuckers i got 5 more ppl today u can both suck my ASS
Winry Rockbell: ok but keep it small
Lan Fan: ,,,,,,,
Maria Ross: this is why timing’s important kids
Ling Yao: how much smaller could his butt get
Roy Mustang: are we even be able to locate it
Rebecca Catalina: does ned even have a torso????
Edward Elric: I HOPE U ALL ROT IN HELL
Paninya changed the chat name to eds ass is bigfoot pass it on
Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: is it weird that i cant stop smiling at ed
Winry Rockbell: hes sleeping in the chair across from me
Mulan but Better: a bit
Winry Rockbell: yeah
Winry Rockbell: hes such a nerd
Mulan but Better: but hes your nerd
Roy Mustang changed the chat name to WHO TE HFUCKS IDEA WAS IT O MAKE THIS AFLOOR THING
Edward Elric changed the chat name to URS U FUCKING CURLY STRAW
Paninya to wubba lubba dub dub: all of u need to see this Spicy™ video of ed from last night
Winry Rockbell: pan its 9 fucking am
Winry Rockbell: who tf is up that cares
Paninya: o dont u worry winnie the pooh
Lan Fan: yep shes still drunk
Paninya: i think ed will when he stops groaning in the bathroom there
Paninya sent a video in the chat
Paninya: srsly im postin this on ig later
Winry Rockbell: SHIT thats loud
Alphonse Elric: What the fuck is that
Riza Hawkeye: Is
Riza Hawkeye: Is he singing mad world
Paninya: u bet ur blonde ass he is
Lan Fan: was this after we took turns playing yoshi and demolishing him in mario kart
Paninya: u bet ur toned ass it was
Winry Rockbell: paninya i can barely hear anything over u shouting STRIP STRIP STRIP in the bg
Ling Yao: edward really is tone deaf isnt he
Ling Yao: oh hes stopped puking
Ling Yao: hes looking at his phone
Alphonse Elric: Rip in peace our bloodshot eyes
Edward Elric: wHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS IS THAT
Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS
Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DID U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DO TO MY PHONE
Ling Yao: HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD
Roy Mustang: dear jesus what is happening
Paninya: oH MY WHICH ONE OF U DID THIS
Paninya: I WILL K I S S U
Mei Chang: there is way too much shouting this goddamn early in the morning
Ling Yao: while u were busy cackling over that video i may or may not have convinced lan fan to steal eds phone
Edward Elric: U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS BETTER ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIX MY ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS PHONE OR IM ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS
Jean Havoc: hes like an infuriated duck with a lisp
Roy Mustang: siri what is the tiniest species of duck
Edward Elric: U WANNA ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIGHT
Paninya: pls tell me one of u hungover fucks is gettin this on video
Mei Chang: lan fan u okay?
Lan Fan: yeah too much shouting i have a headache
Lan Fan: add me back when ed calms down (◕ ‿ ◕✿)
Lan Fan has left the chat
Paninya: hey ed ill bet even yoshi can say fuck
Edward Elric: FOR ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS SAKE
Lan Fan to Guns n Roses: hey
Lan Fan: i dont know where you are rn
Lan Fan: im still sort of hungover and i kind of need someone to talk to who isnt going to get angry or
Lan Fan: try and rationalize everything and well
Lan Fan: do you ever just wish that things could change
Lan Fan: that you could be someone entirely different or that you could get out and leave and not give a damn about anything or anyone or
Lan Fan: because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Guns n Roses: Okay i was at work but i’m coming back right now
Guns n Roses: And i’m going to get you tea and you’re going to tell me whatever you want to tell me okay??
Lan Fan: thanks
Paninya to ID SING OH CANADA TOO IF MY PM HAD AN ASS LIKE THAT: ok but for real
Paninya: dicks r like mushrooms
Paninya: little funny gross mushrooms
Rosé Thomas: Paninya you’re high go home
Paninya: oh sweet flower i wish i was
Winry Rockbell: its 4 fucking am GO TO SLEEP
Paninya: time is an illusion
Paninya to TRICKY tricky TRICKY tricky: i crave the sweet release of death
Edward Elric: FUCKING KARMA
Winry Rockbell: i could hear u playing music at 5 am again today why tf have u been up so late
Paninya: my roommate was screaming french at me
Paninya: she has a test today
Paninya: also
Paninya added Lan Fan to the chat
Paninya: LAN FANNNNNNNN
Lan Fan: i didnt do the psych hw paninya
Lan Fan: and run-dmc doesnt deserve this subpar treatment
Alphonse Elric: Lan fan
Alphonse Elric: Lings been looking for u
Lan Fan: i know its ok dont worry about it
Edward Elric: A FUCKING BIRD JUST SHAT ON MY HEAD
Paninya: what was that????? u said???????
Paninya: about karma?????????
Edward Elric: WHAT IS THIS LITERAL SHIT ON ED DAY
Lan Fan: is that not everyday
Edward Elric: I WILL FIGHT ALL U ASSDICKS
Lan Fan: 3/10 edward
Edward Elric: i will fight me for only i myself am the one assdick here thank u amen and goodbye
Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: so i hear you were looking for me
Literal Monkey™: that depends
Literal Monkey™: what did i do lan fan
Literal Monkey™: did i say something
Literal Monkey™: tell me what i did that made you so upset at me
Literal Monkey™: if i did something im sorry i really am but you cant just disappear and not even tell me whats wrong
Lan Fan: i know
Lan Fan: it wasnt you i just
Lan Fan: my grandfathers relapse and its been rough with classes lately
Lan Fan: it kind of hit me that i cant always afford to be chill all the time
Lan Fan: sorry ive been mia
Literal Monkey™: well now i feel like a dick
Literal Monkey™: ur my best friend lan fan and i think ive gotten so used to u being near i freak out when ur not
Literal Monkey™: i guess it kind of says something about me that might not be a good thing
Literal Monkey™: especially since i climbed the side of ur house to see if u went back home and u werent there
Lan Fan: you w h a t
Ling Yao to Frying Pan: in hindsight
Ling Yao: i prob shouldnt have told her about the climbing
Ling Yao: shes not talking to me again
Frying Pan: u done fucked up boiii
Ling Yao: so will u tell me whats really wrong with her now
Frying Pan: not a chance boiii
Winry Rockbell to Wannabe Alchemist: hey i know its kind of sudden
Winry Rockbell: and u prob have other things to do
Wannabe Alchemist: nah im free shoot
Winry Rockbell: could u maybe come with me this weekend
Wannabe Alchemist: …are u sure
Wannabe Alchemist: i mean of course ill go hell even if i had a meeting with the goddamn president id skip it to go anywhere with u
Wannabe Alchemist: but i dont want to overstep my right or anything
Winry Rockbell: no ed u could never impose
Winry Rockbell: its just been kind of a shit year
Winry Rockbell: i dont know if i can handle going to visit them alone this time
Wannabe Alchemist: dont worry im there for u
Wannabe Alchemist: whatever u need
Winry Rockbell: i
Winry Rockbell: thanks ed
Wannabe Alchemist: theyd be proud of u win
Winry Rockbell: :)
Winry Rockbell: not to degrade ur sentiment or anything because damn ed u can be sweet
Winry Rockbell: but id do buttfuck anything besides meet with our president
Wannabe Alchemist: i read that as u would butt fuck anything but shit u right
Mei Chang to “3/10 WASNT EVEN THAT BAD” famous last words: paninya was that you outside my school trying to sell taylor swift tshirts
Lan Fan: paninya what the hell
Paninya: ok HS GIRLS EAT TSWIFT UP
Mei Chang: you looked stalkerish as hell my principal was going to call the police
Winry Rockbell: just burn them in a rusty can like the ratchet ho u are
Paninya: what is This Disrespect™ n pls im not gonna burn them that merch cost me lk 984759 bucks
Lan Fan: sounds fake but ok
Ling Yao: and why tf would u sell them taylor swift is finally getting interesting
Winry Rockbell: yeah shes finally being savage af isnt this what u signed up for
Paninya: hey i signed up for Drama Taylor
Paninya: this is just plain whoring for attention
Alphonse Elric: Not sure those terms are mutually exclusive
Edward Elric: HOLY FUCK
Lan Fan: speaking of whoring for attention
Edward Elric: I GOT MUSTANG TO PLAY LEAGUE
Edward Elric: went straight for brand the dumb fucking pyromaniac
Alphonse Elric: Can i just remind u that ur first time ur jerk ass went right for garen
Edward Elric: GAREN is a PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD CHAMPION TO GO FOR WHEN UR A NOOB DUMBASS
Alphonse Elric: Sounds fake but ok
Ling Yao: and a bit like neds trying to compensate for something
Edward Elric: U ALL AINT SHIT
Lan Fan: its yaint
Ling Yao: u uncultured fuck
Paninya: k first of all lol is a game for 13 year old prepubescent boys
Lan Fan: so perfect for edward
Edward Elric: DONT FUCKING TRY U KNOW UR A HO FOR AKALI
Edward Elric: ,,,,,,,,dont say 3/10 u know i would rather fucking die
Lan Fan: then perish
Alphonse Elric: Ed did U make that whale noise
Winry Rockbell: the real question here is paninya???? can actually spell???????? words???????? whAT??????
Paninya: SECOND OF ALL any of u want tswift shirts hmu (◡‿◡✿)
Edward Elric: taylor swift is fucking great why the fuck would u sell them
Winry Rockbell: ………..
Alphonse Elric: ……………………
Paninya: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Lan Fan changed the chat name to ill take edward elric is fake Punk Rock™ for 800 alex
Edward Elric: OI U CAN BE PUNK ROCK AND STILL LISTEN TO GUILTY PLEASURE POP
Winry Rockbell: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK
Rosé Thomas added Mei Chang, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye to Unnamed
Paninya changed the chat name to PROJECT LINGFAN
Paninya: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP
Alphonse Elric: What the hell is lingfan
Paninya: PLS WITHHOLD ALL QUESTIONS TILL THE END OF THE BRIEFING MY PRECIOUS CHILD
Winry Rockbell: she continues??? to spell????? correctly???????? what i am amazed?????????????
Paninya: ROCKBELL FULL OFFENSE STFU
Winry Rockbell: rude
Paninya: SO EVERYONE HERE KNOWS OUR GOOD FRIEND LING YAO AKA SHIFTY AKA MONKEY BOI AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA
Mei Chang: if i say no can i leave
Paninya: AND EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS MY SPICY GIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE LAN FAN AKA DEFINITION OF BADASS AKA EDS WORST NIGHTMARE AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA
Edward Elric: she is not my worst fucking nightmare
Mei Chang: so you don’t turn into a stuttering baby every time she brings up 3/10
Edward Elric: U WERENT THERE U DONT FUCKING K N O W
Paninya: AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THOSE 2 HAVE THE BIGGEST RAGING BONERS FOR EACH OTHER THAT ANYONES EVER FUCKIN SEEN YEA
Winry Rockbell: i feel like there was a better way of putting that
Edward Elric: wait hold THE FUCK UP ur fucking with me right
Roy Mustang: yes edward
Roy Mustang: she made an entire separate chat and invited all these people just so she could fuck with you
Alphonse Elric: Thats literally what the normal group chat is for wtf ned
Edward Elric: what the UTTER FUCK???? LING AND LAN FAN????????
Rosé Thomas: You were right winry he’s blind
Alphonse Elric: Dude how the hell are u so ignorant
Riza Hawkeye: Edward are you really unaware of this
Edward Elric: HOW DO U ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK
Roy Mustang: id ask if you saw them at the floor party but i remembered you were too busy practicing for your x factor audition
Paninya: OK ED SINCE UR CLEARLY THE OBLIVIOUSEST FUCKING PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE GODDAMN PLANET
Winry Rockbell: obliviousest
Winry Rockbell: i knew it wouldnt last
Paninya: LET ME JUST HIT U WITH SOME EXAMPLES
Paninya: LAN FAN NEVER BLUSHES UNLESS U MENTION LING TO HER AND THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE C H I L D H O O D
Paninya: WHEN LAN FAN SHATTERED HER ARM IN FRESHMAN YEAR LING CARRIED HER HALFWAY TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER SICKBED FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK SHE WAS THERE
Roy Mustang: he threatened to and i quote ‘key your face’ if you bothered her again
Winry Rockbell: lan fan only shattered her arm that time because some dumbass thugs tried to jump ling in order to threaten his dad
Mei Chang: whenever lan fan doesnt answer him right away he gets all huffy and paces for hours and checks his phone like 500 times until she replies LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES
Paninya: LITERALLY TODAY OK RIZA CAN CONFIRM IM WALKIN TO MEET LAN FAN FOR PSYCH AND I SEE HER PRACTICING A FUCKING KARATE MOVE OR SOME SHIT WITH LING ON THE QUAD
Paninya: SHE STARTS LAUGHING AND I SWEAR ON MY FANTASTIC ASS LING STARES AT HER FOR 10 WHOLE MINS
Paninya: SHES BENDING HIS LEG FARTHER THAN ANY LEG SHOULD BEND AND HES LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHES THE ONLY DAMN THING WORTH KNOWING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKIN UNIVERSE
Paninya: THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENIN FOR YEARS I CANT EVEN WITH THEIR UNNECESSARY ANGST ANYMORE
Paninya: THEY NEED TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FUCKIN EXPLODE JFC (╯✿◕益◕)╯︵ ┻━┻
Riza Hawkeye: That is indeed what happened
Rosé Thomas: And that’s why we made this chat
Rosé Thomas: So all of you can experience our pain
Edward Elric: ,,,,,,
Alphonse Elric: Seriously wtf is a lingfan
Mei Chang to pacific rim uprising is the sequel we didnt know we wanted and always needed no one fight me on this: you all know my name is mei right
Paninya: first time im hearin it
Mei Chang: because my calc teacher doesnt
Winry Rockbell: oh god what does he call u
Mei Chang: literally ‘mee’
Edward Elric: RIP IN FUCKING PEACE
Paninya: wot in tarnation
Ling Yao: u mean wot in pronunciation
Mei Chang: mee-eye is okay and mYE sure but MEE
Paninya: dw a teacher called me panYEA once lk??? bless u????
Edward Elric: omfg PETITION TO CALL PANINYA PANYEAH FROM NOW ON
Lan Fan: panno
Winry Rockbell: a teacher called me wine-ry in fifth grade like how in the actual fuck could u mess win-ree up
Edward Elric: maybe bc u were indeed hella whiny
Winry Rockbell: at least she knew i was there u were too smol to see over the table
Alphonse Elric: Better loud than nonexistent
Edward Elric: GTFO AL I WAS FUCKING TALLER THAN U
Paninya: “was”
Mei Chang: in any case i’m done trying to correct him hello yes my name is mee
Ling Yao: and wen it nite
Paninya: wtf r u on ling yao n where can i get some
Winry Rockbell: its another fucking meme i stg lan fan pls control this boy
Lan Fan: the kalc teachre cannt saye it rhite
Ling Yao: vINdICatION
Edward Elric to PROJECT LINGFAN: fuck this they gotta be in love
Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: hey theyre selling stroop waffles outside the bio building
Winry Rockbell: i can grab some for u if ur in class
Winry Rockbell: wait is that u in line
Winry Rockbell: are u wearing a lab coat
Winry Rockbell: u ran out of class didnt u
Winry Rockbell: did u not even bother to take off ur goggles u look like a nerdy terminator
Winry Rockbell: how many are u buying holy shit ARE U STUFFING THEM IN UR LABORATORY COAT POCKETS
Winry Rockbell: DID U JUST N A R U T O  R U N OUT OF THE QUAD
Mulan but Better: why are you still asking me you know the answers yes
Roy Mustang to My Queen™: theyre selling stroop waffles right now
My Queen™: Has ling gotten there yet
Roy Mustang: theyre no longer selling stroop waffles right now
Rosé Thomas to 7 excellents and LAN FAN THE WAFFLE TRAITOR: It’s official
Rosé Thomas: Mustang won the bet
Winry Rockbell: wow i forgot that was still going on
Maria Ross: how’s ed taking it
Rosé Thomas: Oh how you would think he’d take it
Paninya: EYYYY EDS GONNA ATTRACT THE CAMPUS POPO AGAIN
Roy Mustang to PROJECT LINGFAN (WHAT IS A LINGFAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALREADY): if ling lost the bet he had to choose
Roy Mustang: either actually outright confess to lan fan or end whatever it is they have
Paninya: Y TF WOULD U GIVE HIM THE SECOND OPTION ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS STOP DANCIN AROUND EACH OTHER N BANG
Alphonse Elric: Paninya its more complicated than that
Paninya: WHAT IN THE 7TH RING OF HELL COULD BE SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS
Mei Chang: long story short
Mei Chang: our familys shit deep in politics
Mei Chang: either ling gets in there shit deep too or hes married off
Edward Elric: well fuck
Rosé Thomas: Lan fan knows
Rosé Thomas: When she messaged me after the party i found out that this is why she was so upset
Rosé Thomas: Apparently a drunk ling told her that she should leave him because ‘he’s scared about what would happen if he stopped caring and she deserves better than a coward’
Paninya: well now i feel like shit
Mei Chang: welcome to my world
Mei Chang to Secret Swiftie: remember how you came to my school and almost got arrested
Mei Chang: a couple of girls are asking about your tshirts
Secret Swiftie: call it what u want is a fuckin eargasm I TAKE IT ALL BACK ALL OF IT
Secret Swiftie: I HAVE HEARD AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE A N G E L
Mei Chang: great i’ll tell them you died
Lan Fan to WHOS FAKE PUNK ROCK NOW U FILTHY FUCKING HYPOCRITES P A N I N Y A: has anyone seen my book
Paninya: what book is it
Lan Fan: howard’s end
Alphonse Elric: Forsters great
Winry Rockbell: sorry i havent
Lan Fan: its fine i probably left it in the studio
Ling Yao: oi i was just kicked out of the dining hall what kind of DISRESPECT
Paninya: k but u were eatin all the soup
Ling Yao: is that a crime now
Winry Rockbell: u took the entire pot ling
Lan Fan: you didnt even try to be stealthy about it you just ran back to your seat giggling
Mei Chang: how are they just kicking you out now
Lan Fan: oh they have he climbs back in through the window
Edward Elric: last week u complained the rice wasnt cooked
Ling Yao: have u????? had the rice here??????? itS C R U N C H Y
Edward Elric: jfc lower ur standards ur highness this is college
Lan Fan: you dont pay 70K a year to eat
Paninya: just suck it up lk the rest of us
Winry Rockbell: its either this or starve yao
Ling Yao: :O
Ling Yao changed the chat name to fake friends™
Alphonse Elric to cAn yOU FEeL iT Now mR KRAbs: What the everloving fuck do i have to murder to find out what the shit lingfan is?????¿¿¿¿¿
Lan Fan: …..
Alphonse Elric: Ah
Alphonse Elric: Wrong chat
Paninya: (✿◉‿◉)
Winry Rockbell: AL FOR THE LOV EOF
Winry Rockbell kicked Lan Fan from the chat
Winry Rockbell kicked Ling Yao from the chat
Mei Chang: you know they can still see previous messages
Edward Elric: fuckkkkkk
Paninya: well first time not directin this at edward
Paninya: duuuuuude u fucked up
Panko to Lan Fan: hey i saved u a seat in psych but u didnt look over
Panko: is this about kickin u out of the squad chat
Lan Fan: do they all know
Panko: uh kno what
Lan Fan: does everyone know paninya
Panko: if i answer will u promise not to disappear again
Panko: no one told anyone else about it if thats what ur angry about we all figured it out by ourselves
Panko: well except for ed but that boi is dumb af
Panko: n im not sayin u guys were obvious or anything it took a while until we saw it
Lan Fan: i think im going to go back to my grandfathers for the weekend
Panko: pls dont drop off the face of the earth again
Lan Fan: i wont i was going to go back anyway and space is good
Panko: ur not the only one in this lan fan
Panko: no matter how much u wont see it
Lan Fan: (◠‿◠✿)
Winry Rockbell to PROJECT LINGFAN (ALPHONSE ELRIC DONE FUCKED UP YALL): so lan fans gone
Winry Rockbell: when did u say ling had to make a choice mustang
Roy Mustang: i didnt??
Edward Elric: u said he had to make a decision and DIDNT GIVE HIM A SHITDAMN DEADLINE
Edward Elric: ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW HONDA
Paninya: well thats just great chevrolet
Riza Hawkeye: You really didnt think this through bmw
Roy Mustang: wow at least i didnt blow our cover
Alphonse Elric: Dont throw me under the bus with u toyota at least im repentant
Paninya: alright well now that lamborgini royally fucked up
Winry Rockbell: “lamborgini”
Winry Rockbell: so close
Edward Elric: so what the fuck is gonna happen now
Winry Rockbell: ok mei can talk to ling bc she lives with him
Mei Chang: unfortunately
Rosé Thomas: I don’t know if lan fan will be willing to talk
Rosé Thomas: She used an emoji again
Mei Chang: actually i’ll talk to her someone else tackle my brother
Paninya: idk how to speak fuccboi language one of the guys gotta do it
Winry Rockbell: after roy and als fuckups who else can we choose
Edward Elric: RUDE
Roy Mustang: sit down you didnt even know they were a thing
Edward Elric: MAYBE BC I DONT POKE MY FUCKING NOSE INTO OTHER PPLS BUSINESS
Alphonse Elric: Well ofc u physically cant ned
Winry Rockbell: can u even see other ppl without platform shoes
Mei Chang: or a ladder
Edward Elric: UR FUCKING SHORTER THAN ME JFC
Paninya to milk: hate it, shouting: always, music taste: shite = I AM FORCIBLY SHUT INTO THE BODY OF A SIX YEAR OLD: RIZA TOLD ME THERE IS A PETTING ZOO 3 MILES AWAY YALL MEET AT MY CAR IN 5
Edward Elric: we’re already fucking here
Ling Yao: lol weve been here for an hour
Alphonse Elric: Mustangs been holding a komodo dragon for approx half that time
Mei Chang: winry drove us and there are llamas
Winry Rockbell: i am surrounded by puppies rn am i dead
Paninya: bitch u r to me im writin u all out of my will CLEARLY ALL MY M8S ARE SHIT
Ling Yao to Sister Mine: mei
Ling Yao: meiiiiiii
Sister Mine: i’m literally right next to you what
Ling Yao: have u ever seen lan fan with her hair down
Sister Mine: once during the floor party you all snuck me into
Sister Mine: why do you ask
Ling Yao: her hair tie broke a few days ago and she was fussing with it and i couldnt breathe
Sister Mine: when her hair is down??
Ling Yao: up, down, soaking, gone
Ling Yao: she takes my breath away, mei
Ling Yao: she takes my breath away no matter what she does, or say, or looks like and i am a coward
Sister Mine: you may be right
Ling Yao: are you ashamed of me?
Sister Mine: that depends
Sister Mine: what do you plan to do about it
Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: hey i know its 5 am and youre probably not even awake and this is probably useless anyway considering ive been transparent as all hell
Lan Fan: but i dont think sleep is an option until i tell you
Lan Fan: youre ridiculous
Lan Fan: youre ridiculous and full of it and infuriating and reckless and beautiful and just so so idiotic
Lan Fan: id have to be too i guess
Lan Fan: to be in love with you even after all of it
Lan Fan: and i really am just that
Lan Fan: idiotic and in love with you
Literal Monkey™: thanks
Lan Fan: did you just breakfast at tiffanys me
Literal Monkey™: yes because you would understand it
Literal Monkey™: you understand lan fan
Literal Monkey™: every shitty meme or reference or word i say you’ll always always understand
Literal Monkey™: just like how you understand that im all those things you said i was
Literal Monkey™: im reckless and infuriating and indecisive and greedy and far too ridiculous to deserve you and you understand that
Literal Monkey™: and if youre idiotic for being in love with me then im a hundred times more and you understand why too
Lan Fan: i think you have too much faith in me
Literal Monkey™: i think you have too little
Literal Monkey™: come to your window
Lan Fan: what why
Literal Monkey™: because its hard to type when im barely holding onto your window frame and looking like a hero straight out of an austen novel and honestly id rather told you how much im in love with you in person
Literal Monkey™: convention and all that
Lan Fan: well alright then
Paninya changed the chat name to IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED LADS LINGFAN IS REAL FUCKING CHRIST NO MORE ANGST I AM LIBERATEDDDD
Alphonse Elric: Great so can someone pls explain wtf a lingfan is now
Edward Elric: Read at 8:09 AM
FULL VERSION AND CONTINUATION HERE
37 notes · View notes
sceawere · 7 years
Text
My Fic Masterlist
Alfie Solomons:
ar maidin | alfie solomons/reader | fluffy as all get out, give that boy a nap, also mild sexual suggestion just ya know [wc:1466]
truce | alfie solomons/shelby!reader | set after ‘ar maidin’ | talk of feelings, angstyness, everyone gets cuteness in the end, also mild sexual suggestion bc ya know [wc:1825]
an oíche | alfie solomons/shelby!reader | set after ‘ar maidin’ and ‘truce’ | it’s important to share traditions and make your big gangster husbands sleep in a field sometimes k [wc:1332]
mo mhadra | alfie solomons/reader | they get a puppy in a typical alfie way (mild mention of animal abuse just a heads up) [wc:1065]
an post | alfie solomons/reader | anon request, worker!reader, bigsister!reader, domestic!alfie | you start working for alfie to support your siblings, end up falling in love [wc:5667]
uncail | alfie solomons/reader | set after ‘an post’, domestic goodness, mild sexual suggestion [wc:1359]
an leanbh | alfie solomons/reader | dad!alfie basking in the glow of newborness, you’ll weep and then ovulate [wc:465]
feicim tú | alfie solomons | request: childhood friend/love returns from absence, witnesses his violence [wc:3875]
live in | alfie solomons/reader | thelandattheendofourtoesgoeson requested maid!reader | alfie doing business stuff, cuteness, everyone who works for him is best friends, mention of dogs, presence of dogs, oh woah surprise they’re endgame, there is a cute nana who bosses alfie around, domestic!alfie is the best kind, just get married and grow old together already [wc: 1527]
fáilte abhaile | dad!alfie | who left this man alone with children? pls protect this giant gruff gangster and his sassy offspring [wc: 799]
an deireadh seachtaine | alfie solomons | anon wanted more sleepy alfie, doggies, domesticity, polly putting him in his place [wc: 1123]
battle plans | alfie solomons | anon wanted alfie angst | killed in the line of duty, crime boss wife holding up her end, let me speak to you some truth, bear thy soul, bear thy soul [wc: 1313]
snippet: dad!alfie |  a combination of an @ATELIEFLORESDAPRIMAVERA headcanon and the fact that my dad always used to call me ‘his poor little wounded soldier’ when i was ill as a child | alfie is alfie, alcohol is medicinal, right? cuteness but also seriously pls supervise this man [wc:152]
bosses | alfie solomons | the bakerstreetdragon requested boss wife | what else do you expect from a woman who would marry alfie? i mean [wc: 433]
the other one | alfie solomons | anon requested tommy’s twin, who is a nurse, and alfie | she doesn’t take no shit but she does enjoy herself, if tommy is sassy then so is she, alfie needs looking after, tommy is unimpressed as usual, oh well would you look at that we’re stuck in this flat together better get comfy hey buddy [wc: 2202]
the peace process | alfie solomons/twin!reader | set in the same verse as ‘the other one’, tommy’s twin is a little shit, knows exactly how to work a room, polly taught this girl good, wait woops looks like we have to fake a relaTIONSHIP, hold ma hand, oh buddy oh pal is alfie blushing? [wc: 1927]
diamonds | alfie solomons/shelby!reader | anon wanted irl jeweller alfie | awkward big brother tommy doing his best prom night shtick, alfie is a flustered cutie pie [wc: 1342]
tell me all about it | alfie + polly are best friends and also founding members of the ‘tommy shelby ain’t shit’ club [wc: 311]
reassurance |  anon wanted alfie being looked after and also being a cute little shit [wc: 567]
domestic!alfie snippets | thinemineours wanted more domestic alfie - ranges of verses that reference ‘mo mhadra’ and ‘fáilte abhaile’ [wc: 1000]
birthday | ateliefloresdaprimavera requested alfie and the kids being cute to reader on her birthday and also there’s a how did you meet story time - ties the  ‘FÁILTE ABHAILE’ verse to ‘THE OTHER ONE’ and ‘THE PEACE PROCESS’ [wc: 1119]
razor blades | alfie and arthur fall victim to mischievous kids and clumsy wives [wc: 502]
the keepsake | samascara requested a good old bag-of-flour baby test [wc: 1828]
the proposal | anon requested stumbling alfie trying to propose and i did it in what i think would be typical alfie fashion: go big or go dig a grave. or both [wc: 1716]
soulmates snippet | alfie/shelby!reader | cute couple chat abt murdering each other woops [wc: 227]
the races | alfie/reader | alfie’s girlfriend is smarter than he is or at least has better inside knowledge [wc: 535]
kids and pups | alfie/reader | anon requested alfie/reader babysitting johns kids and also the dog is here, alfie dishes out some male role model wisdom, katty continues to be a delight [wc: 926]
dad!alfie snippets | alfie really isn’t sure about this whole offspring thing, reggie has truly been a little shit since utero [wc: 692]
protector | alfie/reader | thunderstorms can get scary and alfie can get soft [wc: 905]
warm milk | alfie + daisy | alfie being a dad makes me want to weep, daisy has a nightmare, alfie makes it better [wc: 1083]
crush | alfie/reader | age difference gives alfie the temporary heebie-jeebies, reader tells him to take a running jump [wc: 3455]
another time pt. 1 | alfie/reader | girllostinthewoods requested time travel fic - first in a series tbc [wc: 1276]
rsvps | alfie/reader | weddings are stressful, brothers are dicks, and turns out warehouses are flammable[wc: 1493]
halves | alfie/reader | oh buddy alfie pal is really not sure about this offspring thing [wc: 1567]
Finn Shelby:
an leabharlann | finn shelby/librarian | fluffyluffy teenage crush shit woah buddy my small son [wc:2736]
an leabharlann - part 2 | finn shelby/librarian | fluff with brothers taking the piss [wc:2578]
an leabharlann - part 3 | finny shelby/librarian | *weeping* i just want them to be happy and in love [wc:1442]
Michael Gray:
ask me again in the morning | michael gray/reader | you get drunk with polly and then we delve into the marshmallow fluff just a whole jar of the stuff [wc:1836]
twin snippets - kind of a sequel to iníon? | anyway sibling squabbling and michael being cute
athair | michael gray/reader | theaqueenakaspeedy requested: you’re Father Hughes daughter and you date Michael (after months he founds out who’s your dad), when Charlie is kidnapped he ask where your dad is he tells u what the priest does to kids what he did to him, them when he’s arrested you heard the officer saying that Michael kill your dad. | we’ve got angst, we’ve got angst, we’ve got annnggsstttt | also warning for vague mentions of child abuse [wc: 2666]
toast | michael gray/reader | drunk!michael fluff [wc: 773]
flower crowns | michael gray/reader | michael somehow bagged a delightful flower child and oh buddy are they cutesy [wc: 529]
finders keepers | michael gray/reader | anon requested tommy’s errand girl and michael sharing similar pasts finding each other [wc: 2158]
John Shelby:
these moments | request: happy marriage, polly’s surrogate daughter | badass wife, dad!john, ppl genuinely in love, their daughter katie is a polly in training and there’s a vv cute leanbh beag bc why not also i used john’s canon aversion to gendered slurs bc yes my son get it boy [wc:2435]
come home safe | anon wanted reader calming john down after a murder [wc: 966]
sister-in-law | anon requested john and ada’s best friend, pre-war bbs who don’t know what’s gonna hit them, cute dreaming of the future, only half joking about spending the rest of our damn lives together [wc: 1631]
schooldays | john shelby | prequel to ‘these moments’, explains a reference in ‘tm’, tiny john being cute but also a little shit [wc: 797]
three rings | set between schooldays and these moments | [wc: 977]
what could have been | tied to schooldays, these moments, and three rings, buy a damn gunsafe people | [wc: 1826]
sister | john + reader + daughter | anon requested john’s daughter not talking to reader bc she’s afraid their new baby will be a girl, cutesy parental stuff [wc: 938]
Polly Gray:
iníon | polly gray+daughter!reader | anon request: reader is michael’s twin, separated from family/adopted separately, goes to search for polly | search for adoptive mother, mild criminal activity involving records, arthur is a teddy bear, tommy is himself, michael is tommy jr, long long twins pissing each other off in their quest for emotional fulfilment, is it day drinking or midnight snacks?, polly is getting a babe for a son-in-law i can see it happening [wc: 4579]
untitled snippet | anon wanted more polly/alfie [wc: 168]
settle | polly gray+daughter!reader | drabble cos i’m sick and polly is lovely [wc: 298]
considerations | polly gray+shelby!reader | [wc: 869]
Tommy Shelby:
táimid naimhde sa chathair | tommy shelby/reader | anon request: childhood love, broken apart, reader moves to london, works in sabini’s club, engaged to his son, tommy decides to walk back in and cause shit as usual [wc:2656]
táimid naimhde sa chathair | tommy shelby/reader part 2 | reader bins a guy who does not deserve her, hailee steinfield’s ‘love myself’ plays heavily in the background, cool girls who don’t let a stupid boy get in the way of their friendship, she just wants tommy to be happy bc she’s a goddamn grown up [wc:1624]
táimid naimhde sa chathair | tommy shelby/reader part 3 | alfie turns up and comments on relationships and now i want to read his agony aunt column, getting drunk with cute russians is my favourite thing to do too!, soul baring, soul baring, SOUL BARING, i loved you once, i’ll love you forever, boy get your head together cos if you wanna be my lover oh no wait that song doesn’t work but the sentiment if thereord count [wc: 1458]
welcome home soldier | tommy shelby/reader | request: reader meets tommy through letter during the war, wartime letter romance, my sad soldiers sons let me hold you, tommy being a little shit, military antics, polly manages to be present yet again bc i will work her into ANY prompt possible, pls just let everyone be happy [wc: 3366]
snippet: dad!tommy | anon wanted more of the guys as dads so i’m going to write snippets | tommy’s kids get creative, their mother is not impressed [wc: 213]
sun + sums: dad!tommy snippets | the babies have a name now! also they’re delightful. etta does sums and also eats sand. violet is on this shit work work work work work work. tommy’s ya know. [wc: 756]
sense | tommy/reader, lil bit of alfie | childhood sweethearts, war feelings, alfie obliviously flirting, tommy’s wife is a spitfire [wc: 1246]
Isaiah Jesus:
do dheartháireacha | isaiah/shelby!reader | anon request: isaiah is crushing on shelby sister, her brothers get his act together | cute drunken-ness, are we friends or are we gonna make out? just asking for a friend?, john being john, mentions of pol being a bamf, isaiah is a cutie pls protect him [wc: 1737]
get real | isaiah/reader | anon wanted isaiah fluff and sneaking around/getting caught | cute domesticity, deal with your feelings ppl, i just want to snuggle?, polly doing her thing [wc: 1433]
surprises | isaiah/reader | the course of trying to turn up to your boyfriends house in fancy underwear never did run smooth [wc: 567]
miracle | isaiah/reader | imagine the bbs though [wc: 798]
Arthur Shelby:
read to me | arthur shelby/reader | anon request: librarian!reader, helps arthur with his ptsd, mentions of philosophy bc i have to use that qualification for something, my sad sonhusband pls be happy and find peace, mistreatment of books, cute bathtimes, mild sexual suggestion? [wc: 822]
the garrison | arthur shelby/nurse!reader | yjrevolution requested arthur and his nurse, boss lady who is also v sad, we found love in a hopeless place, here let us bond over trauma, cutesyness, polly approves, i just want my poor love to be happy [wc: 2926]
dad!arthur snippets | samascara requested dad!arthur snippets and since my true otp is arthur+happiness i obliged [wc: 629]
Ada Shelby:
no-name | samascara wanted ada and her girl friend *sitting in a tree, k i s s-*, anyway cute artist girlfriend antics and lovely domesticity [wc: 2001]
also: |my writing tag| |my headcanons tag| |my aes/moodboard tag| |my nav page|
362 notes · View notes
neon-pumpkin · 7 years
Note
2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,30,31,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,49,50,51,52,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,63,64,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,86,87,88,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,96,97,98,99,100,101,103,104 😂😂😂
WOW LETS FUCKING DO THIS AND HOPE NO ONE SEES IT EVER BECAUSE FUCK
2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. im going to kill myself.
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? as long as it wasnt anything more than weed we’re fine.
4. Is your last name longer than six letters? yes! S-w-e-e-t-a-p-p-l-e
5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? We were both semi-drunk. More so sober tho.
6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?kind of? did i mess it up tho? i dont really know. i just didnt say anything. now i hurt.
7. What does your last received text say?We’re bringing home ice cream sandwiches
8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?...fuckin.... like 10 times? 
9. Where was your last kiss at? my bedroom waddup
10. When is the last time you saw your sister? like 2 days ago
11. What do you drink in the morning? straight whiskey... or OJ
12. Where did you sleep last night? in my own, wonderful bed
13. Do you think relationships are hard? getting in a relationship is hard honey
14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? yes!!!! a lot!!!!
15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? no except i cant kiss them anymore ((((((((((:
16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? rainy 100%
17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? fucking loads? james is a common middle name.
18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? jeans bb
19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? i fucking hope so jesus christ
20. Does anyone like you? ppl friendzone me, which is good! give me friends! i like friends!!!!!!!
21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? yerp, back in middle school
22. Is the last person you kissed gay? HA. YES. KIND OF. HALF N HALF.
23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? lmao yes always
24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? i have 4 sweaty :)))))
25. In the past week have you cried? yes a lot more than usual!!!!
26. What breed was the last dog you saw? husky @ work!!!!
27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? in the shower is that weird?
28. Have you ever kissed a football player? negatory!
30. Do you like text messaging? yes more than using the phone!
31. What type of day are you having? shit! complete shit! utter shit!
33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? cold!!!! cold cold cold!
34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? yes!!! too much!!! it hurts. but besides her i rly like halee shout out 2 u girl if youre reading this.
35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? relationship. the last fling i had ended with me wanting 2 die.
36. Are you a simple or complicated person? complicated!! like a puzzle!
37. What song are you listening to? Seafret - Oceans
38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? most of the time. i say sorry too much.39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? yes! hi halee! hi jen!40. What made you start liking the person you like now? WE MADE OUT BC ALCOHOL. NOW I WANNA DIE.41. When did you last receive a text message? 3 minutes ago!42. What is wrong with you right now? the person i like just went into a relationship and it hurts me bc things r complicated!!!!43. How well do you know the last female you texted? v decently well!44. Does anyone disgust you? myself?!?!???!!!45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? it depends on the person!46. Are you in a good mood right now? no! never! negatory!49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? YES!! IT HAPPENED 2 DAYS AGO!!!!50. Anyone you’re giving up on? MYSEEEEEEEEEELF!51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? YES YES YES YES YES YES YES WHY DO YOU HURT ME SO
52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? WOW LIKE RIGHT NOW 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? nope! drinking is good for your mental health. at least thats what i tell myself.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? kind of???? i think they know. but that didnt fuckin stop em. 56. Do you like to cuddle? yes!!! apparently so!!!!57. Are you shy? too much!!! 58. Do you get along with girls? more so than guys!59. Have you dated the person you texted last? nope! almost but nope! 60. What do you carry with you at all times? my demons. loljk my phone! 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? yes?? 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? nope! 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? I CRY BECAUSE I HAVE EMOTIONS THAT ARE NOT OK.
66. How old are the last three people you kissed? 22, 20, AND 21.
67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   i can do them myself :)))) 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    LEOPARD HONEY69. Do you have any stickers on your car? yes it says “life is better with a boxer” and its true bc my boxer died and life went to SHIT.   70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? NEITHERRRR   71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?  iPhone cause im used to it.  72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? a year or so ago.   73. Do you like diet soda?   i like... flat soda. 74. What color are the walls in your room? GREY   75. Are you 16 or older? 20!!!!   76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? no!!   77. Do you have a job?  at PetSmart!!!!    78. What are your initials?  MJS  79. Did you ever have braces? no my teeth r rly good   80. Are you from the south? gr8 white north!   
81. What does your last status on facebook say?  it was about puppies we had up for adoption @ work  82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? nope! she disappeared!   83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?  momma!!!  84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?   lmfao no.   86. Do you smoke?  smoke what? kidding i only smoke lucifers lettuce and even then thats rare 4 me.  87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? heels!!!   88. Is your phone touch screen?   yes!!! 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?  straight!  90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?   never! oops. 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?   drown!! 92. Have you ever made out in a car?  no but yes pls.  93. …Had sex in a car?  no too small  94. Are you single or in a relationship?  single and rdy 2 mangle!  95. What were you doing last night at midnight? playing video games when i should have been sleeping!   96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?   new years eve!!! 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?   yes it v nice! 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?   YES ACTUALLY. THEN I GOT ATTACHED. 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?   lmao @ montana’s once 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?  of course!  101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    wow like every day 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?   the only light i get is from my computer screen 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? my fave thing 2 wear!!!
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fromchaos · 3 years
Text
i don’t like writing like. canon continuation speculation or fix-it fic but by crumb i’ll do it just to have something in the tag NOT in adam pov.
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g5b3ysjw-blog · 5 years
Text
Looking for good medical insurance?
Looking for good medical insurance?
I know blue cross/blue shield is good, but, what other insurance is out there? I need to insure myself, my son, and my fiance. I need to find some fairly cheap insurance as well. Know of any? And also, dental.
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSURANCECOMPAREQUOTES.US
SOURCES:
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