#i wanna wake up on christmas day with my girlfriend ;w; i havent been so excited for it in so many years yknow

[bbeelzemon]

i really need to get back to commissions .... like i already even have one lined up i just . have not been at my computer at all, even though we were able to set it up, i guess several weeks ago by now 🤔

#we've been unpacking and settling in and now school has started so i have just barely thought about art in like 2 months dmfhjdfh #to be clear frill is the one going to classes and stuff but Im Helping <3 #i Do need to get a job probably sooner than later but i really really want to try and wait out for the new year #i want to spend the holidays with my gf and friends and that isnt very likely in the field im going to be trying to get back into ;; #and yes i know holidays dont really matter and its about the people not about the day on the calendar etc etc etc #but also yknow what. #i want. to be at my roommates halloween party. i want to go to frills parents house on christmas and experience that with them #even if its just this once like in future years sure we can work around schedules more later #but Just Once i want to have Nice Holidays with people who Actually Celebrate Holidays since my family didnt really #i wanna wake up on christmas day with my girlfriend ;w; i havent been so excited for it in so many years yknow #so if we can figure out how to make it until january with me not working at an actual job. i want to try #and yknow what im pretty good at . art. and commissions #i just need tooooo actually sit at my computer longer than 3 minutes #i keep really wanting to like go through the apartment and Put Everything Away Once And For All and then continuing to Not Do That #but i need to just do it . i wanna have it all done by the time our roommate moves in uhhh in like . a few days. this weekend? sometime #i also have just not been online really In General like i still look at tumblr multiple times a day #but whens the last time i just sat here and Talked like this yknow dmfhjdfh #anyway! need money so i can continue being selfish and self-centered and put off getting a job until the new year <3 #i havent drawn Anything since we moved in ..... i also just Want to get back to it even disregarding the money factor about it #today we're out of the house and Cold so we might just . hang out and be cozy when we get home. but tomorrow! tomorrow i put things away! #no more procrastination <3 i need my space clear so my mind can be clear so i can manifest art so i can manifest money. simple as that!