RUSHED WRITING I AM SO SORRY (this includes Amrita and a description of a lab. neither are probably correct so if this is awful i am so so sorry) ALSO. PLS READ TAGS FOR TWS THIS THING IS AWFUL
Paislie glanced inside the lab. Amrita was there, along with several other people Paislie didn't know.
She hadn't come to the lab since she'd found out what was happening in there. So many kids, almost all infants, died multiple times a day.
And since she'd realized it, she couldn't keep herself from blaming herself for all the lives lost on her machines no matter how she tried to make them work.
She couldn't stop herself from wondering how much blood was, technically, on her hands.
-
Paislie had found that out when she tried to help once only a few days previous.
She'd been showing plans for a new machine to one of the older workers when one of the lab employees had come running, saying they needed more hands.
Despite not knowing what she was doing, Paislie had followed behind, throwing on a spare coat, face mask, and gloves as she entered.
The place was buzzing with activity in the worst way, employees rushing around and carrying babies just as small as the one in Paislie's own arms. She could've sworn one of them was still smaller.
And that's when she'd realized. The little structures Paislie had seen patterned through the room weren't some kind of sink like she'd thought up to now.
They were cribs.
She couldn't help but stare down the rows and rows of sleeping babies- what looked like newborns, she thought vaguely.
And the random spacing between them and the empty cribs- sure, it could've been an accident, but if it weren't, then where-
She was only jerked out of her thoughts by a touch on her shoulder.
"Hey," the lab worker had said. "Been in here before?"
Paislie only shook her head, not trusting her voice in the slightest.
"Can you take him?" they'd asked, glancing down at the crying baby Paislie had just realized was there. He was almost too small to be real, she thought with a pang of anxiety for the tiny boy. "There's nothing you can- You don't need to do anything else. Just hold him."
She swallowed- whether to keep herself from being sick or crying, she didn't know. "Yeah, I can- I can do that."
Paislie hadn't even finished her sentence before the tiny baby boy was carefully laid in her arms.
"Hey, buddy," she'd said quietly, stroking his cheek with her gloved hand. "It's okay."
Despite the setting, she could almost forget anything was wrong. She could pretend for a minute as the boy quieted. Blue eyes looked back up at her.
She smiled, trying to stop herself from breaking down right there and crying.. "There he is."
And he smiled back. It was only a quick one, the only way such a tiny baby could, but it was still enough to tell.
Something still felt off in the room. Not that it had ever left.
It felt like death.
She shivered at the thought.
Before Paislie could stop herself, she'd started humming a song to him. He didn't cry again, so she figured it couldn't have been that bad. She took to watching Amrita's movements, vaguely hoping it would help her calm down if she had something to focus on.
It wasn't hard to tell though, when she looked back down at him a few moments later, something wasn't right.
He wasn't breathing.
"What the f-"
'There's nothing you can- you don't need to do anything else.'
Was that what they'd meant? Had they known he would die in her arms when they'd handed him off?
"Amrita?" she called, looking up anxiously.
Anyone, get anyone, sure you know her, but anyone who could help him-
Before she could force herself back into reality, gloved hands took the still baby out of her arms. It was too calm, why weren't they trying to do anything?-
"What's going on," she said in a low voice, staring at the floor in a daze.
Another employee shushed her, not unkindly, but it still made her nervous as she looked back up.
"Is he okay- what happened, what- I didn't even-"
"It's okay now, we're under control here," a foreign voice said. "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, hun."
Paislie looked back just in time to see a blanket thrown over the boy who they'd just taken from her.
"Stop it! What are they doing, they didn't even try, go back," she protested, pushing against all the hands reaching for her.
Paislie saw Amrita shake her head in her peripherals, but she didn't care, didn't react when the other called her name.
"It's not too late!" she finally screamed, nearly throwing off the lab coat in her panic. "Help him!"
A mask was shoved at her face, and she ducked away.
Before she was aware that she'd run, she was on the floor of the bathrooms, throwing up the undigested remnants of her lunch.
Hands pressed a gentle weight against her shoulders, and she nearly decked their owner before she realized it was Amrita.
Paislie just broke down, not entirely letting Amrita comfort her but not pulling away either.
"I should've told you not to go in there, I'm sorry," the older said. "You shouldn't have-"
The doors opened. Masked drones stalked mechanically towards the two.
"Don't mask Paislie, I can talk to her, she's just confused," Amrita said, standing up beside Paislie's hunched form.
The drones didn't listen.
They easily shoved past Amrita, not that the other made an attempt to stop them. It wouldn't have been any use. They all knew that.
Before Paislie even had a chance to fight back, several hands grabbed her arms and restrained her.
Blank whiteness blotted out her vision as she felt her mind lose control of itself.
Paislie should've learned to welcome the oblivion by now.
And maybe she should've given up on saving anyone a long time ago, she couldn't help but think a few weeks later when Amrita had explained what had happened to that little nameless boy.
Paislie had failed to save one more person. And just like before Showfall, it would stick with her no matter how much her mind got wiped.
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