"Philever is dead" not while I'm still alive babyyy
"C'mon Phil, we can sneak off..." Fit smiles as Phil rolls his eyes. "They won't even notice we're gone." He lowers his voice, but Forever hears him loud and clear.
He grits his teeth in frustration. They hardly even tried to hide it. Fit and Phil had been flirting this whole time! They weren't even subtle about it!! Forever casts a quick glance their way, just in time to catch Fit inching closer to Phil's face, holding his jaw gently.
He turns away quickly. Quick enough to catch Phil's attention. Phil laughs to himself. Quiet enough that Forever knows he wasn't supposed to hear it.
As much as he'd like to stick to the not being in love with him anymore thing, it was really hard. Phil still looked like Brunim. Phil was still beautiful and funny and kind and sweet and loving and careful and god he thought about him so much more than he should.
Forever made a point to cross his arms as he wondered if Fit thought those things of Phil as well. He wondered what Phil thought of Fit. He wondered what Phil thought of him. If he really, truly meant all of the harsh things he said. If he had shared all of his feelings yet, or if he had more to say to Forever.
"Oh, Philza~ Come on now, there's kids around..." Forever is so caught up in his wondering he doesn't catch what illicits that response. He looks back for only a second before he can't stand the sight.
Phil is so comfortable with Fit, in a way he'd never seen when it was only them. Although wildly inappropriate to think, he wonders for a moment if this is only the tip of the iceburg? What if they do more when they're alone? What if they really were a thing? He shakes his head as if to physically remove the ideas from his head.
He tries to focus on watching Bad show the kids how some complicated machine works but god help him, he just can't. He hears Phil's laugh mix with Fit's, comfortable and calm, if not a little embarrassed. He hears Fit's words, his sultry voice drawing more and more giggles from Phil. Forever cannot stand it.
"Hey, Forever, Phil and I are gonna dip for a second, we won't be long." Fit taps his shoulder to get his attention. Forever can't keep himself from scowling.
"Yes, okay, I'll let Bad know." He says through gritted teeth. Suddenly, Fit looks nervous as he smiles, taking a few steps back towards where Phil waited for him.
The two use their warp stones and they're gone. Forever's eyes linger where the pair stood moments before and he can't help the damn near animalistic instincts that almost overcome him. How dare Fit try to take what's his? Sure, Forever is focusing less on love and more on the election but that doesn't give Fit the right to speak to Phil that way! Not at all! When they got back, Forever would let him know exactly what he thought of their little games.
Really, he wanted to tear Fit to peices whenever he gave Phil that look. Whenever he put his hands on his waist, or when he gently turned his head towards him. Whenever he put on that voice to say suggestive things. Whenever he was anywhere near Phil, for that matter.
It takes close to ten minutes for Fit to come back with Phil following close behind him. Chayanne and Tallulah come running when they hear the warping sound. Dapper, Ramon and Bad take their time walking over.
Forever is probably the only one that notices but they both look a mess. Fit adjusts one of his straps as he ruffles Tallulah's hair. Phil's haori slips off his shoulder a Chayanne releases him from the tight hug he trapped him in.
Ramon jumps into his father's arms with practiced ease before he starts to write on his board. Fit hums and nods as Ramon explains something. Forever watches. He wants to tear the man to bits. He wants to grab Phil and never let him go, growl at anyone that so much as looks at him, kill anyone who dare lay their hands on him. Fit had done all of the above so many times, Forever was just about ready to destroy him.
Fit looks up from Ramon's writing for a moment and their eyes lock.
"Uh... Forever?"
Now, Phil looks away from Tallulah. After a moment, he laughs. That wonderful laugh that Forever could swear is addictive.
"I thought you were over me, Forever."
Of course, Phil could pick up on the jealousy immediately, having seen it so many times. It's not like Forever is particularly good at hiding it anyway. He's not really trying.
Fit laughs too. It takes every ounce of self restraint Forever has not to stab him right then and there.
Bad gives a small chuckle, confused. "What happened...?"
"Forever thinks Fit and I are doing things and, even though he said he doesn't like me anymore, now he's jealous." Phil rolls his eyes as he picks Tallulah up like she weighs nothing.
Forever huffs and looks away.
They all part ways as night rolls in. The incident is mostly forgotten and laughed off.
As Forever arrives at his base, though, he pulls out his communicator and messages Fit.
You leave my Philza alone.
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satoru physically withers and crumbles every time you return his belongings. he doesn’t know how to tell you that he can only accidentally on purpose leave his glasses on your nightstand, or his jacket on your couch, or his shirt in your laundry so many times before he loses his mind. every time you don’t take he bait, he folds into himself and wonders why you don’t love him anymore and it costs him $22.50 to hear ieiri tell him to suck it up and use his words because he literally has to buy her company (and drinks).
but when you do take the bait, when you do wear his things, satoru thinks it’s all worth it. he can’t explain why it does what it does to him. it’s a sinister kind of possession he wants to have over you, knowing you’re your own person, free to do as you please, but also knowing you’re caged in him. it’s a lovesick kind of gooeyness that melts his heart seeing you fumble with the sleeves of a sweater that’s too long for you. it’s the vision of you seeing you drowning in him—in his clothes, in his things, in him, in him, in him. he’s selfish, he wants to consume you in as many ways as possible, wants you to drown in him, would die happily knowing you were one tenth as enraptured by him as he is with you. he doesn’t know how or why or when you gained so much power over him, but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want you to ever stop, so if he has to keep pretending to leave his clothes and bags and glasses around then so be it.
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
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