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#i want this life so badly but it is probably impossible for me :)
daz4i · 6 months
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man you ever wanna die just so you don't have to deal with the shit that is real life
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heartfullofleeches · 2 months
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[18+]
Introducing - Shy Perv/Horny Alien Darling who's happy to be kidnapped by cute little humans if it means they'll get their dick touched.
Bound and chained up in their kidnappers home - Darling has but one question as their obsessive stalker declares their undying love and how darling will never, ever leave their side again-
"s.... since we're dating now....may - can I touch your breasts?"
Alien Darling from a planet where sleeping with another person for pleasure is looked down upon and intimacy is not seen as common . There's hardly any need for it in terms of reproduction either as technology has mostly taken over in the entire process. Needless to say, Darling is blown away when they learn about earth and some of its cultures. They want to go on dates, and hold hands with someone cute, and maybe even kiss them, and- and.... There's just so much for them to do.
Darling ends up on earth one way or another - working their way up to a far enough life as a cashier. Approaching humans in a romantic/sexual tense is a bit difficult when you only have experience from the films you've seen in the short span of time you've known about them. Darling remains alone and finds fulfilment elsewhere on the internet and with human toys they purchase for "research" - How they'd love to be able to use what they've learned with a cute human, but no person in their right mind would want an awkward outcast like them...
Right?
When Darling finally released they're being followed - they come to the conclusion that it has to be some strange human mating ritual. Yan likely discovers the various blogs Darling has made detailing their journey they probably think nobody will read or believe. Regardless of whether darling truly is from other world - it's clear to see how depraved they are. Yan sees that for themselves when they leave a pair of their underwear in darling's bed and instead of questioning where they came from Darling skips an entire day of work just to drool all over them. Darling is too busy fondling Yan's chest to notice anything wrong - like how their boss hasn't called to check up on them in a while.
Oh....That's right - they don't have a phone anymore. Their lover said they didn't need it anymore.... Plus, their boss was found dead in a lake a few weeks ago.
Huh.....How could they forget something like that?
"Would you like me to take my shirt off while you touch me, love?"
"Yes, please!"
Darling feels the need to ask before every kiss. It's cute - until they're drilling their tongue(s) down Yan's throat everytime since they claim Darling can do whatever they desire to them. It's still impossible for them to believe a cute human would want them so badly. Captivity is a small prize to pay to finally act out the fantasies they've had since they've learned of earth and its people.
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kestisvrse · 3 months
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good luck charm
part i, part ii
pairing ⋆ hockey player!luke castellan x fem!reader au. fluff.
synopsis ⋆ the rivalry between you and luke had ended, revealing feelings that were buried and how badly he wanted to call you his.
warnings ⋆ i know nothing abt hockey i’m just canadian let me live, swearing, fast paced sorry😭 | wc: 1.3k
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♫ - nervous by the neighbourhood
life recently felt like a parallel universe, it felt almost wrong to wake up every morning with a good morning text from luke castellan.
you weren’t exactly close, but you had gotten to the point where you could talk and you didn’t insult him the entire time, and even found yourself cheering for him at his games.
your brother nagged at you for details about what happened that day, as you responded with nothing other than you apologized for being rude to him. he wasn’t buying it all, he had yet to see the fact that you texted luke daily, he only noticed the lack of comments you would make towards him and the fact that you would smile towards luke, something he thought was physically impossible.
you had realized pretty quickly after that day that despite ‘hating’ luke, it was to get rid of the butterflies you felt everytime you saw his curly black hair in a room, or heard his raspy voice with the smirk he always wore. it embarrassed you to think about, to think like this over a boy, but you couldn’t help it.
luckily, it was obvious he likes you, it was obvious from the first day you met him and how often he would be distracted from his tasks by you, but now that you were friends? some people could consider it insufferable how he would act with you, one of your friends called him ‘lovesick’.
which he was, it was such an odd realization, going from hating the boy to secretly liking him while he acted like your boyfriend, constantly texting you, sending you videos of how it reminded him of you or that you two should do a tik tok trend that was obviously made for couples.
he wasn’t embarrassed, he wanted you to know from the start how he felt, but the walls you built hid you from the truth until he broke them down.
despite how it all felt to you, rushed and weird, you found yourself sitting in his car, looking over the ocean as the sun set.
you couldn’t help but overthink everything, after all you said to him, here he sat, admiring your face unable to tear away, like you were a mirage he didn’t want to fade away.
“you’re staring, castellan.” you broke the silence between you two.
“thank you so much, captain obvious.” you could hear the smirk that formed as he said his clever response, earning an eye roll from you, but your own smile creeping up, “you coming to the game tomorrow?”
“yeah, why?” you ask
“great, i want you to wear this.” he reaches into his backseat before returning with his jersey, his eyes full of joy as he offers it to you.
“luke..” you stared at the jersey in your hands, “are you sure? i mean people will probably think i’m your girlfriend.”
“that was the plan, yes.” he says, “just, try it on.” he motions to you, you shrug it over your hoodie looking for his reaction.
to say he was in awe was an understatement, he was stuck in a trance at the sight of you wearing his number, like a deer in headlights he stared at you.
“luke…?” you spoke up, he snapped his head up to make eye contact with you.
“please wear it to the game.” he stuttered, his cheeks flushed red and suddenly his car felt very hot.
“okay, i will.” you whisper.
the freezing air against your face from the rink was so familiar it barely bothered you anymore, you had yet to see your brother and you wondered just what would go through his head at the sight of you, a hoodie on with an extra layer of the team’s colours, sporting luke castellan's number.
you didn’t even think of luke’s reaction, something about really seeing you with it on at the rink, he knew he was done for. when he exited the dressing room he immediately froze at the sight of you, and your smile that you reserved just for him, he was bright red at this point.
“luke!” you blurted, running up to him.
“hey.” he breathed out, unable to take his eyes off you.
“goodluck, you’ll do great.” you praised him, biting back a smile as you stared up at him.
“i have a good luck charm today, i think we can win.” he told you, a cheeky grin appearing, you tilt your head asking what it was, “you.”
before you could answer he was dragged off to the ice, you could feel your own blush rise up at his words. quickly rushing to your seat, your brother spots you and mid smile his jaw drops.
you sent him a sheepish wave, as luke grinned at the sight of him.
and then the game started.
as per usual, luke whipped around the ice. easily dodging and weaving his opponents as if they were made of air. it was mesmerizing to watch the way he moved, he seemed so focused on the task at hand, and yet even while he skated down the rink with the puck at the end of his stick, he still found the opportunity to look at you.
he was bound to get player of the game you thought to yourself, the way he boosted his teammates up, making sure everyone got the chance to make an impressive move even if that was the complete opposite point of the sport.
as the final buzzer rang, you jumped from your seat, the crowd watching erupted into cheers at the teams win as they watched the boys tackle each other into hugs.
you quickly dodged and ran through the stands to get to the entrance to the rink, to congratulate the team, as luke watched you make your way to him, he threw his helmet to the side to grab you and bring you into his arms.
“you won! you fucking won the tournament castellan!” you squealed into his neck.
he stopped spinning you and placed you onto the ground, and the way he looked into your eyes made everyone in the rink disappear. the cold air that previously nipped at you was replaced with a warm cozy feeling as you stared into his eyes.
he went to ask you the question, but his words wouldn’t come out, he felt his team stop and stare at the two of you, as you nodded towards him just from the expression in his eyes.
the expression was him asking if he could kiss you.
you swore you heard fireworks when he lent down to meet your lips, his gloves discarded so he could put his sweaty hands on your face, the feeling of his chapped lips against yours was enough to make you completely ignore how sweaty he was from the game.
he pulled away from your lips, as badly as he wanted to stay there forever.
“been wanting to do that for awhile.” he breathes, awestruck as he stares at you, as if you were the most extraordinary thing in the world.
“i knew it!” your brother's voice called out, distracting you from answering, “i knew you were sneaking out to see him!” your brother's jaw was on the ground.
“uh… sorry?” you muttered
your brother gave luke the iconic ‘you hurt her, i kill you.’ look before wandering into the dressing room.
luke just turns to you, “can i take you on a proper date tonight, good luck charm?” he asks
you snort, but begin to grin, “once you wash all this sweat off, i would love to go on a date with you.” he smirks and goes to kiss you, but you place your palm on his chest to push him back, “shower, castellan.”
despite how fast he flew down the rink, he definitely ran faster to the shower, in desperate need for another kiss from you.
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tragedybunny · 7 months
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Fun Astarion idea:
Tav finds a wish spell (does the Deck of Many Things behind Astarion's back and gets insanely lucky), and offers to use it to cure his Vampirism.
He would probably be annoyed at them for risking that, at least.
This one ended up short and sweet anon, but I didn't want to belabor it because I think it would be gilding the lily.
As requested, Tav draws from the Deck Many Things, Astarion is less than thrilled.
Gambles and Wishes - F!Reader x Astarion
“Astarion,” you pound on the door to your home’s library until you thought it would break. 
“I’m still not talking to you,” he shouts back, not even getting close to the door. 
It was locked from the inside and you consider an unlocking spell for a moment but stop. The lock was a boundary, and you hated to cross his boundaries, he didn’t get to have any for so long. Instead you opt to groan in frustration. “Please, this isn’t the healthiest way to solve our problems.”
“Neither is lying, but that didn’t stop you,” he shoots back and you cringe because he’s technically right. 
“It wasn’t lying so much as not telling. And see, you’re talking to me so why don’t we stop shouting through the door.” To be honest, it was starting to make you nervous, he’d never been angry at you for this long before. Maybe your good intentions had taken things too far. “Please Love, Starry Sky,” your voice shakes. 
The noise of the lock opening causes your heart to leap, but you're not sure if it’s dread or elation, so you just stand there, arms crossed around yourself until the door opens. Astarion stares at you with watery red eyes, “is that really how you want this relationship to work?”
“No, you’re right, but the possible reward was too great to deny.” Why can’t he understand, you’d do anything for him?
“So was the risk, you pulled a card from the Deck of Many things. You know magic, you know what could’ve happened.” He’s not shouting anymore, it’s so much worse. He’s barely whispering the words, and the tears are finally starting to spill over. “And you didn’t even consult me, we’re supposed to be equals in this.” 
So much for those boundaries you didn’t want to cross, the realization started to eat you up inside. Protecting him wasn’t a good excuse anymore. “I’m so sorry. It’s just that I would risk anything for you and I knew you wouldn’t let me.” 
Even amidst all the pain, the two of you find yourselves holding onto each other. “Sunlight, that’s because you always take risks for me. You need to worry more about yourself sometimes.” He sniffles into your shoulder, and you hope his tears are drying as you stroke his hair. 
“I know, last one I promise. But I got what I wanted, one Wish spell, we can have the life we thought was impossible.” The life you wanted so badly to give him, the life he deserved. 
Stepping back from you, he appraises you seriously. “Are you sure this is what you would use it on? You could have an Empire, become a Goddess. Not that you aren’t already, especially when it comes too- ” he smiles lasciviously. 
“Astarion,” playfully you smack his shoulder, “behave yourself. And yes this is the only thing I could think of using it on. I couldn’t wish for anything more than you.”  
“You’re still a silly girl who’s too nice to me.” New tears appear in his eyes you notice, but for an entirely different reason. “Well then I accept, on one condition of course.”
“And what is that?” 
“You promise you’re stuck with me as long as we both live. I’m not used to being alive of course, I’m going to need someone to keep an eye on me for a long time. And let’s be honest, you’re the most qualified. I don’t think any of our friends would really be able to handle it.” 
He’s rambling but you know it’s because he’s nervous, so you lean over and kiss him softly. “Deal. Now let’s make you an un-undead Love.” 
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lecl3rcw · 9 months
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MOMENTS WITH YOU | CARLOS SAINZ
Summary: 3 of Carlos and Y/N’s cutest moments
Author’s note: Thank you so much to everyone who’s requested a fic, your requests are all works in progress💗
Warnings: badly translated Spanish, and tooth rotting fluff.
Sing recommendations: All of the girls you’ve loved before & Lover - Taylor Swift
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Moment # 1
Y/N was sat in her boyfriend’s drivers room listening to his rants and frustrations of how Ferrari, yet again screwed him up.
“It’s just so annoying! I ask them to do something and they just don’t listen? And now they’re purposely screwing me over” He says pacing back and forth, These past few races have been nerve wrecking for him with Ferrari considering to replace him at the end of his contract fueled him even more to try to prove himself to them but he can’t, if they don’t give him a chance.
The girl stood up, locking her arms around his waist as her head rested on his shoulder, he reciprocated the hug as he exhaled “I hate to see you so upset” she murmurs, her hand gently caressing his back, he closes his eyes in content, greatful for her touch.
“I’m just so done, I’m constantly trying to prove myself to people that obviously are sabotaging me, I just don’t understand why they treat me so bad, have I not given enough?” He says, frustration leaving, sadness engulfing his voice. Y/N squeezes him even tighter.
“You’re more than enough cariño, you’re just as amazing as anyone and if they can’t see that then they’re idiots, your overridden decisions are the only reason why you guys placed so good” she says leaning up to place a sweet kiss on his cheek.
“Thankyou mi cielo” He says leaning down to place a kiss on her lips, as his arms travel down to her waist grasping it.
Moment # 2
The soft patters of the rain along with the occasional boom of thunder were the only things that could be heard through out the city of Madrid. The couple was snuggled in bed, both too lazy to be productive.
Carlos admired the girl who’s head was burried into his neck, his arm under her neck serving as a pillow, his hand goes up to gently caress the back of her head.
“We should probably go make something to eat amour” He whispered as he heard her groan and push her head impossibly deeper into his neck. He chuckles, “cmon Y/N, we gotta get up” he says gently, She huffs before turning around and pulling the duvet over her head.
“Y/Nnnnnn come on” he says pulling the cover off her head, “Ugh fine” she says before sitting up. He opened up his arms and she immediately fell into them. Her hand tracing hearts on his collarbone as her head found its place under his chin. The rainy weather brought out a different type of lazy out of them.
“I thought you said we need to get up” she says still tracing on his collarbone, “We probably should but I have nowhere I’d rather be” he replies pressing his lips against her head and squeezing her tighter, she sighs in content as she leans up to kiss his jaw.
Moment #3
The girl came back from work exhausted, her boss doesn’t make her life any easier, and on top of that everything just seemed to be going bad today. She missed a deadline and absolutely got flamed by him and she wanted nothing more than too just be in Carlos’s arms.
As she entered her house, she wanted to hold herself together until she made it to the bedroom, but upon hearing Carlos’s voice call her out sweetly, tears immediately started going down her cheeks.
“Y/N? What’s wrong amour?” He says gently going up to her, she shook her head as she covered her face with her hands, a habit she developed when she didn’t want people to see her cry. “Oh come here” he cooed as he wraps his arms around her tightly. He held on to her for as long as she needed. She cried for so long, she didn’t even realize when he moved the two of them on the couch.
Once her breathing stilled and sobs were no longer wracking her body, Carlos once again asked her “What’s wrong Y/N?” His hand on the back of her head as she played with strings of his hoodie.
“I missed a deadline and he said if I make one more mistake, I’m done! I mean that’s so upsetting, I’ve done so much for this stupid company and this is how they treat me? I was up until 4 am fixing his dumb mistakes and this is how he repays me? Ugh he’s so annoying” she says no longer sad, but more frustrated.
“Baby, you have to separate work from your home life, your boss is not understanding, and if he fires you then he’s just making the dumbest decision ever” he says, “I love you Carlos” she says, he smiles and leans down to kiss her, the rest of the night, the couple was so wrapped up in each other that they fell asleep on the couch, at peace with their minds.
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What A View
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Steven Grant x F!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals •Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • MK Bingo 2024 Masterlist • ko-fi •
Summary: A trip to the Shard goes a little differently.
🌛For @moonknight-events MK Bingo Spring 2024 Event🌜
A/N: The Shard is the tallest building in London. Also totally another case of my mind just jumping to something else in the bingo other than what was probably implied. So this is 'High Sex' and obviously I went, 'oh, right, so high in the sky?' I am so smart. (lie).
Warnings: swearing, p in v sex, Steven kinda having an exhibition kink, overuse of italics, typos, railroad sentences, please let me know if I've missed a warning!
Word Count: 1329
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You hadn’t expected the afternoon to play out like this. 
With your back pressed against the cool glass, Steven spreading you wide. His fingers dug into the fleshy part of your left thigh, pushing on your leg as you just about managed to keep your balance by pressing the ball of your foot against the marble sink. 
You’d spotted a discount voucher for the Shard and had asked if Marc, Steven, and Jake would like to come with you. 
Marc had rolled his eyes playfully, “I’ve seen London from up high plenty of times,” and declined.
Jake had been sleeping. 
Steven had grinned and nodded excitedly. “You know love, I’ve never actually been up the Shard? It’s true what they say, you live in London but you don’t do the normal tourist things.” 
Everything had been relatively normal on the way, though the elevator to the upper floors and viewing platform had been a little busy. Both you and Steven had shuffled into a corner, your back to his chest. 
He’d gone quiet after a few seconds, his grip on your hand tightening as his muscles stiffened. For a moment you had thought that Marc had fronted. 
Once you were on the right floor you had barely stepped out, heading towards the large wall length windows when Steven had pulled you in the opposite direction and dragged you into a bathroom. 
You hadn’t even had a chance to question him before his lips were on yours and his hands slipped under your top. 
You held onto his shoulders for dear life, up on the tiptoes of your right foot as he slammed into you. His thick cock hitting so deep you could see stars. 
You moaned against his hand, his palm haphazardly covering your mouth in a hasty attempt to muffle your sounds. You had never been much of a screamer during sex until you’d met them. 
No matter how hard you try little groans escape your mouth with every frantic thrust of his hips. He angles upwards with every buck, hitting just right on the spot he knows so well and rubbing his public bone against your clit with every motion. 
Steven’s own mouth is pressed into your neck, biting and sucking and leaving sloppy kisses as he tries to muffle his whines. He had always been a screamer. 
You pull tightly on his shirt, a fraction away from ripping the cotton as pleasure coils in your stomach, building higher and impossibly higher.
His name is muffled by his hand as you say it, breathless and needy, but he still hears it. 
He pulls his mouth away from your skin just far enough to speak, frowning in concentration as he tries to keep his voice under control. “You… okay?” 
The slap, slap, slap of skin almost drowns him out. 
You nod, eyes closed but still let out a soft whine and he picks up the pace, fucking you even harder, like he is trying to get caught, trying to make you scream his name so loudly that the whole of the city will hear you.
“That’s it love, that’s it,” he whines, nipping at your neck and groaning as you clench around him. He knows you’re so close, can feel you approaching orgasm buzzing along your skin like electricity, practically taste it in the air. He wants it so badly, needs it more than breathing. 
“You… you… gonna be…” he swallows, having to fight back his own moans even more. “You gonna… be good? Gonna… gonna…” he bites his lip almost hard enough to draw blood as he pistons his hips. Everything’s too much it’s blinding, dizzying. But not enough. 
The way you squeeze him, your back arching off the glass as you meet his thrusts desperately. The bright sky behind you, the sweat on your skin. His tongue darts out to lick a stripe up your neck and he groans, his eyes rolling back.
There’s a light mist forming around you on the glass, the heat from both your bodies collecting. 
“Fuck,” he hisses in your ear, his own pleasure close on his heels. “God, can you imagine if someone was cleaning the windows,” all his words come out in a rush, “and they just, fuck, just saw us here. Saw you moaning and taking my cock so well, saw how pretty you are all full of me and just begging. Saw how I need to keep you quiet so we don’t get caught because you just, just need it so bad that you can’t stop, and, and-” He groans loudly, the sound turning into a whine. “Love, fuck, please, please, please,” he punctuates every word with a sharp snap of his hips that has you reeling, sinking into pleasure.
“I need you to,” he groans as you squeeze and clench around him, your pussy fluttering and trying to pull him deeper. “I need to hear you.” He gasps, “please, if I move my hand can you please try, can you try not to be too loud? Please. I,” he moans again, “please, need it so bad, need it, need you.” 
You nod rapidly, barely getting a chance to register his words in your hazy, lust filled mind before he rips his hand away from your mouth and grabs onto your shoulder, pressing the full length of his body up against up against yours as he pounds into you. 
“Steven,” you moan, just managing to keep your voice below your regular talking level. 
He groans in response, much louder than you. 
“I’m gonna-”
He kisses you roughly, sliding his tongue messily into your mouth for a moment. 
“Gonna come, love? Gonna come on me?” His voice rises in pitch towards the end and you nod, your thoughts all turned to mush as all you can comprehend is the feel of his skin and the heat of his body as he pushes you higher and higher to ecstasy. 
“Need you to,” he whines, tears just pricking at the corners of his eyes. “Need you to.”
You moan his name, gasping against him. Every muscle tenses as he finally pushes you over the edge you've been dancing by. Pleasure washes over every nerve, running over your spine as you convulse and cling onto him like a lifeline. 
Steven whines, fucking you through your orgasm even as he comes, pumping his hot, thick cum deep inside and filling you to the brim. 
You breathe heavily as you both come back to yourselves, holding each other tightly. The sweat starts to cool on your skin and you swallow, a sudden flash of panic flicking to the forefront of your mind. 
“Do you think anyone heard us?” You ask quietly. 
Steven shakes his head, still pressed into your neck. “We weren’t that loud.”
You laugh. “You sure?” 
“Nope.” 
You laugh harder. 
“Honestly, love, I don’t give a shit.” 
“Really?” 
“Hmm.” He looks up at you with a large grin on his face, his eyes soft and loving. “Too happy to care. Anyone says anything, I’ll sort them.” 
You giggle at his playful tone. “My hero.” 
He chuckles and kisses you softly.
“Does this count as joining the mile high club?” He giggles, sweat sticking his curls to his forehead. 
You shake your head as you laugh.
“Oh, well.” There’s a soft flush to his skin, an afterglow of his orgasm that you hate to admit makes heat pool a little in your stomach.
Steven notices the slight change in your expression, the small clench as you squeeze around his softening cock.
He groans softly and presses close to you again, mouthing at the love bites he’s left on your neck. He grinds against you slowly, not pulling out but pressing up against your clit with a roll of his hips. 
The little surprised gasp that leaves your lips makes him smile. 
“Give me a minute love,” he mutters, keeping up the soft rock and glide. “Maybe we can be louder this time.” 
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Thank you for reading!
@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem @oscarisaacsspit @whatthefishh @mbakubabe @romanarose @saturn-rings-writes @boredzillenial @lonelyisamyw-0love @queerponcho @pimosworld @melodygatesauthor @steven-grants-world  @eyelessfaces @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87@lunar-ghoulie @dumdaradumdaradum @plastichearts @silvernight-m @autismsupermusicalassassin @apesarecuul @reallyrallyauthor @basicalyrandom @spxctorsslxt
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dizscreams · 1 year
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Omg I just had this thought what If -
The reader was studying for a test and ethan offers to help as a tutor giving extra credit but in order for that he wants sex idk I think it would be spicy and ahhh🤭
RAHH THIS IS SO GOOD 🤭
Extra Credit — Ethan Landry ★
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PAIRING: Ethan x gn!reader
A/N / WARNINGS: not proofread and this is suggestive but not smut !!
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“God fucking damn it!” You groaned and tossed your head back as you threw your pencil on your notebook. This test you were studying for was going to be impossible. Mindy laughed at the sight of you, “Having trouble are you?” You rolled your eyes at her, “Shut up Mindy. This is important and I can’t understand any of it,” you sighed and leaned back into the couch.
Ethan slightly smirked as he looked at you beside him. He decided he wanted to take advantage of this situation. You needed help, you needed him. Mindy, Chad, Anika, Tara- they couldn’t help you. They weren’t in the same class as you, but he was. He could help you and he had an idea. “If you need it, I don’t mind tutoring you,” Ethan said flashing you an innocent smile. Though his intentions were far from innocent.
“Really, E? You’d do that for me?” You looked up at him hopefully and he had to stop the wicked grin that threatened to make its way onto his lips. You had no idea what he wanted to do to you, you had no idea how badly he wanted you. How badly he needed you. “Sure I would. It’s no big deal,” he shrugged trying to pretend his want for you didn’t grow larger when you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you thank you! God you’re a life saver,” you laughed.
You pulled away from the hug and Ethan licked his lips as he stared into your eyes. Your arms were still around his neck loosely and the distance between you both was small. But there were people around, so Ethan couldn’t do anything. Then again everyone in the room was oblivious and too wrapped up in their own conversations so he could probably get away with doing a small gesture. He leaned in and whispered in your ear, “I’ll help you if you do something for me in return.” Your expression changed to a confused one, “What do you mean?”
He chuckled, “I mean if you help me out,” he grabbed your hand and put it on top of the very visible problem he had through his pants. “I’ll help you,” he said with a small kiss to your neck. His breath tickled your neck and that mixed with the feeling of him smirking against your skin made you weak. You looked around to see Mindy and Anika busy watching some scary movie Mindy put on and Tara and Chad were too busy flirting. You were extremely glad there was a blanket covering both you and Ethan as he put pressure on your hand so you were now palming him.
He struggled to keep in his whine as he looked at you with pleading eyes. “So will you?” He asked quietly. You looked at his eyes then his lips and then his eyes again, “Yeah, I want you so bad, Eth.” He grinned and looked around at everyone before getting up, “Meet me at my dorm in 10.” You smiled up at him and eagerly nodded.
Even if you didn’t pass it’d definitely be worth it
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SHORT AND FLIRTY CAUSE I CANT WRITE SMUT LMAO HOPE YOU LIKED ITTT
tags I forgot againnn: @beary-rambles @wekiamo @dizzyscreams
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i don't think people appreciate how good the mice & murder "oops all college humor goofballs" season was. i rewatched it right at the beginning of burrow's end (for adorable woodland creature reasons) and it's just so underrated.
first of all, every member of the cast is KILLING IT. grant is genuinely witty as a sherlock holmes-style dandy and is solving the case in real time. rekha's southern drawl gives me life. katie goes full peaky blinders. raph is a master of rolling badly and then roleplaying exactly how his character fucked it up. and sam's portrayal of buckster $ boyd is so charismatic it makes me want him back in the dome for a side quest ASAP
ally's portrayal of lars gets its own bullet point because i genuinely believe it's some of their best work. often ally's characters are the lynchpin of season lore, but lars proves how much ally shines when their talents for comedy are harnessed toward nothing but inhabiting an impossibly loyal silly little thembo who knows a lot about astrology
*hits the trunk of my car* this baby can hold so many nat 20s in it
specifically the nat 20 that rekha hit which made brennan speed rewrite the entire season??? and it works so well i can't imagine any solution to this mystery other than the one he came up with???
lucretia brockhollow's voice
honestly i thought i would dislike the covid-season-ness of it all but i actually loved that you could see everyone's facial expressions at the same time. it's a lot more smoothly executed in a technical sense than unsleeping city: chapter 2 or even fantasy high: sophomore year
the gags carlos luna did with the figures in roll20??? come on
sometimes a family CAN be a mother who's an epileptic mole, a father that's a capitalistic javelina pig, and a grave-robber weasel son who's probably older than the dad
it's just so cozy and fun and laugh-out-loud funny it makes me feel like i'm wrapped up in a blanket sipping hot chocolate from a warm mug
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buckyalpine · 1 year
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always you’s angst only ending … feed us a tiny lil drabble of maybe bucky not stopping until he and bruce and maybe even shuri (cause bby’s the smartest) find a way to bring her back?
like he enters the portal, scoops up her body, and kisses her back to life. then throws her over his shoulder, locks her in his bedroom, and makes love to her for like a week straight.
“she’s barely been back for a month- AND SHE’S ALREADY PREGNANT?!”
- ur local angst slut who’s actually hella sensitive and cannot handle this shit, gossip girl 💋
Always you angst alternative ending 
18+
Okay YES, if your a pure angst fiend, you may ignore this but I'm here to mend hearts from the sadness that was this fic.
Warnings: Angst, FLUFFFFFFF, Smuuuttttt, happy ending 
5 years later
Bucky refused to accept you being gone. He tried to heal, going to therapy, grief counselling, medication, writing letters, everything under the fucking sun to help him come to terms with the fact that he’d never see you again. 
It was impossible.
It ate him alive.
He was physically stronger, pouring all his time into the gym to find a way to numb the pain but he was more mentally fucked than ever.
It had been 5 years, nearly 6 and the raw pain he felt was still fresh. Every night, he'd wake up searching for you. He couldn't let go, holding onto the pieces you had left behind. He wrote to you as often as he could, keeping a locked diary of things he wanted to tell you, letters he knew no one would see but what else could he do when he wanted to talk to you so badly but you weren’t there. 
That didn’t stop him from finding a way to pour his heart and soul somewhere. 
_________________________________
Happy Birthday babygirl,  I wish I could wake you up with kisses today, tell you how special the world is with you in it, make you pancakes, feed you in bed because I know you’ll cuddle up in the sheets until noon. Buy you a pretty dress, take you out, maybe even go dancing, even if its just me and you and Steve’s playlist of songs from the 40′s. I’d hold you close to me all night until your feet were sore or until Tony told us to turn the cheesy music off. 
I know he secretly ships us (Peter taught me that word) 
If it were up to Stark, he’d throw you the biggest birthday party ever; that wouldn’t stop me from trying to sneak you away for some more birthday kisses. birthday cuddles. Birthday sex...is a new song Sam introduced me to. 
I wanted to do so much with you today sweet girl. Show you how much I love you on your special day. I should have shown you before it was too late. I regret it every single day. I’d give anything for just another day, just so you’d know. 
It was always you. 
Steve brought you some flowers today, Sam brought some balloons. I hope you see them from wherever you are. It’s not the same without you here angel.
We miss you baby. 
I miss you. 
Till we meet again,  JBB 
_________________________________
Hi Baby, I know it’s not a special occasion, I have no real reason to write today. I missed you though. I wanted to tell you about how I jumped out of a plane today and all I could think of is how much you would have laughed because I didn’t use a parachute. You’re laugh is the sweetest sound in the world and I’d give anything to hear it just one more time.
Sam recorded it all, you would have been the first person he showed the footage to. I’d probably ignore you both and then you’d probably tease me about being grumpy and I’d want a kiss to feel better. And a hug. Maybe some cuddles. Please? 
Also you’d be proud of me today, Red Wing broke and it wasn’t my fault. Promise. I even apologized to Sam after but he doesn’t think I’m being sincere. And I’m not because red wing is a little shit. So is Sam. 
I miss you sweets. I wish you were here. It hurts. Everything hurts. 
I hope we meet again. I’ll never let you go. 
Yours, JBB
_________________________________
My y/n,
I’m sorry. I should have told you. I regret it everyday. I’ll never stop trying to find a way to get you back. 
I love you,
JBB
_________________________________
It’s been almost 6 years. It still hurts.
Till we meet again, JBB
_________________________________
I can’t anymore. I need you back. 
JBB
_________________________________
There were some days where Bucky was able to focus, writing as much as he could, spilling all of his feelings onto the paper, a tiny part of him hoping that one day he’d be able to give you all his letters so you’d know you were all he could think of. 
Then there were the days where sobs tore through his body, his breathing labored, only managing to scribble three words before crumbling into a dark abyss. Bucky wracked his brain every single day; if you were able to go back once, there had to be a way to get you back again. Bruce and Tony had spent countless hours in the lab trying to find a way to reopen the portal but nothing led to you. 
*****
Bucky stared at his burner, pressing call and ending it before it could go through multiple times before finally letting it ring. There was only one other person he could turn to. He knew he wasn’t going to be immediately welcomed back into Wakanda but this wasn’t just about him. Everyone wanted you back. Nothing was the same without you there. If there was a 1% chance to get you back, he had to try. His chest felt tight as the jet landed in a secluded area having arranged a private meeting with Shuri, the one person he trusted with his life. 
"I-I have a favor to ask" Bucky's eyes were already pleading with her, his heart racing as he approached her, ready to fall on his knees. 
"Anything Sergeant Barnes" Shuri smiled, sensing he was there for something urgent, nodding for him to continue. There was zero hesitation as she immediately agreed to come back with him to try and get you back, bringing her own lab equipment with her so she could work with Bruce. After filtering through a number of timelines and timestamps, she’d managed to pinpoint the portal to find you but it wasn’t without its consequences. 
“You understand you may not return” Shuri whispered as Bucky threw on his tactical gear, insisting on getting you all on his own while rest of the team watched in pin drop silence, reluctantly letting him go alone “And y/n...we can get her back but there's a chance she may not...” 
She squeezed his hand before he stepped onto the platform, not wanting to finish the sentence but he already understood. He knew it was possible he’d find you again but it didn’t mean he’d find you alive. 
“Then at least I get to say goodbye” He gave her a strained smile; he had to bring you home one way or another. If this was how he had to go, he would run happily to his death; he’d be at peace knowing he died trying to find you. With the push of a button, he was instantly thrown into a warp, transported to where you had last been with Nat. Everything came to a halt as he found himself at an abandoned hydra base, the cold nipping his skin. Bucky blinked, his vision focusing on the fuzzy figure laying on the ground, his feet moving before he could process anything. 
There was no one else around. 
It was you. 
His doll. 
His y/n.
He sprinted to you, tears clouding his vision as he approached you, dropping to his knees, both fear and hope fighting for dominance. He found you. You were there. But would he ever actually get you back? Were you even breathing? 
“Y/n?” Bucky cradled you to him, scooping you in his arms and chasing the portal that had already began to close. He held your face to his neck, his metal hand protecting your head, holding you securely against his body as you both fleshed back to the present. 
The team gasped as he appeared on the platform again with you safely tucked in his arms. They didn’t dare move, everyone holding their breaths while Bucky laid you down with you still in his arms, his hand softly stroking your cheek. 
“Y/n? Doll?” His heart was beating erratically, your skin was warm, a glimmer of hope burning stronger as he gently shook you, pressing his cool metal hand against your face. “Please” 
“C’mon doll, come back to me baby, I have so much I need to tell you” He pleaded, his warm breath fanning against your face, tears brimming his eyes. Tony and Steve itched to whisk you off to the medbay while Sam silently shook his head, wanting to give Bucky an extra minute, hoping you’d be able to wake up in the super soldiers arms where you belonged. 
“Baby, wake up sweets” Bucky couldn't help himself, pressing his lips softly to your forehead, trailing feather light kisses down your face while cuddling you. “C’mon I l-love you” His voice cracked, his lips finally pressing against yours. They were still soft, warm, you had to wake up, you had to-
Your lips stirred, your eyes cracking open, taking your first breath as your eyes focused on Bucky. 
“Sweetheart?” Bucky's eyes grew wide, unsure if he was dreaming or not, scrambling to hug you closer, cupping your face gently.  
“Bucky?” Your voice was a raspy whisper, leaning into his touch, feeling his tears fall onto your skin as he pulled you into his chest. 
“My doll” He let out a soft sob, cradling your head as you buried your face into his neck, moved to cling onto him, the last thing you remembered was darkness and now you were in his arms again surrounded by his warmth, his scent. Everyone stayed rooted in place, tears falling freely, dying to grab you, hug you, hold you again but they were not about to separate the two of you, not after how badly Bucky had yearned to get you back. 
“Bucky” You wept, your mind still piecing together how you were back but it didn’t matter, not when he was holding you again. 
“Hi baby” He whispered against your hair, wiping your tears with his thumb, cupping your face, kissing you all over before capturing your lips again, relishing in your touch, feeling your fingers card through his short locks. You lost yourselves in each other, the rest of the world no longer existing. 
“Okay white wolf, When do we get to say hi to our girl” Sam snorted, sniffling seeing you tucked in Bucky’s arms, the brunettes lips curved into a smile for the first time since you’d been gone. Bucky loosened his hold around you, helping you to your feet, giving you one more kiss before letting go. 
“Come here” Steve scooped you up immediately after, struggling not to squeeze you tight, “We missed you sweet heart, so much”
“Hasn’t been the same without you” Sam gave you a once over, determining you were well enough for a slightly bone crushing hug before having you grabbed away by Tony. Tony wasn’t able to say much, biting his bottom lip to keep it from trembling, hugging you the longest, reluctant to let you go. You were engulfed in Nat’s arms as she wept, squeezing you like her life depended on it. 
“You saved me” She whispered in your hair, her tears falling onto your skin, “Don’t ever do that again” She hissed sternly, grabbing your face to look at her, “Don’t ever ever do something like that again” 
“Give me my baby back” Bucky grabbed you, tossing you over his shoulder as soon as everyone had gotten their hugs and kisses, not interested in giving anyone a second longer when he needed you so badly. You squealed, giggling as he carried you straight down the hall towards his room without glancing back. As soon as he locked the door, his hands were all over you, holding you tightly to him. 
“Your baby?” You shyly whispered as he rested his forehead against yours, nodding and chasing your lips. 
“M’never letting you go again doll, never” He trailed kisses down your neck while unbuckling the straps of your gear letting it drop to the floor. “I want to love you, I want to hold you, I want to make love to you, I want it all with you” 
Bucky tore your clothes off, hoisting you up to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you over to the bathroom, turning the hot water on, hot water pouring over both if you. The steam made you woozy, your body turning into jelly under his touch as he massaged your muscles with delicate touches, his lips ghosting over every bruise and scar that had marked your skin. You let out a needy whimper, staying close to him, your butterflies erupting in your tummy every time he touched you. 
“Bucky please”
“I want to love you so badly baby, love you the way you deserve” Bucky willed himself not to take you right there, focused on rinsing off and grabbing a towel, carrying you over to his bed. He tossed to towel off, climbing on top of you, neither of you having the patience for a slow build or teasing. Your belly clenched feeling his hard length rut and rub against your bare cunt, your slick coating his cock. 
“I need you” He rasped while you whined, wrapping your legs around him, bucking your hips up. “You have no idea baby, God I need you” His eyes were pleading with you, his cock starting to leak feeling your arousal. 
“Wanna feel you Bucky” You spread your legs for him, your breath hitching feeling the tip of his cock rub through your folds before pressing into your entrance. 
“Gonna make love to you so good sweet girl” Bucky whispered as he started to push his cock in, his heart beating faster, cock growing harder feeling your heat pull him in deeper. He groaned, letting his body weight fall onto you as he started to thrust, pleasure consuming both of you immediately. 
“JAmessss” Your gasp melted into a moan, your head pressed against his pillow as he filled you, stretching you open, letting you feel every ridge and vein of his cock. “Stretching me to so good Buckyyy” 
“Yeah? You feel so good wrapped around me baby” He rasped, his orgasm already creeping down his spine as he pressed sloppy kisses all over your face, overwhelmed with emotion and the feeling of you under him. Your moans made him twitch, nearly growling when he felt your nails dig into his skin as he kissed your cervix with each roll of his hips. 
“I missed you so much baby, didn’t know what to do with myself, I-I couldn’t breathe without you, couldn’t live-” Bucky could feel tears brimming his eyes, struggling to keep them away, “Fuck I missed you so much, I felt like I was drowning every single day” 
You sniffled over his words, your heart connected with his, squeezing your thighs around his waist, desperate to keep every inch of his body pressed with yours. 
“It-it was always you” He kissed your forehead, as he kept you caged under him, moaning against your skin.
“I love you” you cupped his cheeks, brushing his tears away, his nose lightly bumping against yours. You pulled him down for a sweet kiss, only pulling away for air. All of it was so much all at once, the quietest cries and softest kisses, feeling every inch of each other, making up for lost time. Bucky pulled the covers over you both, wrapping you in a cocoon of warmth, hiding you from the rest of the world, savoring this moment with just the two of you, his sweet girl back in his arms again. 
He let his arms roam across your body, stroking your waist, your thighs, gently cupping your breasts, softly suckling your nipples, his body trembling as he tried to hold his climax off and make this moment last forever. 
“M’gonna marry you, you know that?” His hands came to lace with yours, pinning you against the bed, eyes locked with yours. His pace didn’t falter, thrusting into you, loving the way your pussy fluttered around his cock, rolling his hips so he could push into you deeper. “W-will you? Will you marry me babygirl” 
He knew you had just come back but he wanted nothing more, unable to stop the words from slipping out. You let your own tears fall down your cheeks, pulling him impossibly closer. 
“Yes” You whimpered, sniffling back sobs as he stroked your head, smiling against your lips. 
“Gonna make you my wife baby, marry you and take care of you until my last breath” He started to fuck you faster, panting, the muscles in his body tensing. 
“Tell me more Bucky, please?” You whined, your heart aching for more, everything you’d always wanted with the one person you’d always been in love with. 
“Oh baby, M’gonna get you pregnant sweet girl, have a family with you, everything with you, take care of your swollen belly, make love to you even when you’re full of me, show you how much I adore you princess” You gasped as he braced himself, his grunts growing louder, his body heat radiating off him, unable to stop the pleasure that was growing. 
“Tell me your mine baby” He whined, wrapping his arms around you while you threw your head back, your eyes rolling back at the feel of his pubic bone rubbing your sensitive bundle of nerves with each thrust. 
“I’m yours Bucky” 
“Fuck don’t stop y/n, please, I need it” His voice was needy, desperately clinging onto your body, craving to hear nothing else. “Say it again doll”
“I’m yours Bucky, all yours soldier” You moaned louder, your legs shaking around him “I’m gonna cum” 
“Cum with me baby, same time, please” 
“BuckyBuckyBucky- You cried our, your walls staring to flutter, ready to fall off the edge with hi. 
“M’right here, I got you, togther, c’mon, cum with me princess” Bucky rolled his hips, pounding you into the mattress, biting down onto your neck as he felt your nails scratch down his back while white hot pleasure tore through you, your pussy milking his cock. 
“FUCK JAMES” Your body trembled as he fucked you through your high, burying his face into your neck, his lips brushing by your ear. 
“YES, Yes baby, my good girl, my sweet girl, s’perfect for me, yes, I’m gonna give you my cum, get you pregnant, have a baby with you, take care of you, love you, all of it with you baby, fuck- I LOVE YOU- UGGHHH- 
Bucky collapse on you, filling you with his cum until the bed was damp, his body jolting from sensitivity each time you fluttered around him while kissing his temple. He hardly moved, a steady stream of cum still pouring into you, staying connected to you the entire night, cuddling you next to him. 
“I finally have my baby back, my sweet sweet baby, she’s back” 
It has been nearly a week since you were back but you hadn’t left Bucky’s room once. You only took a few moments to eat and sleep, the rest of the time wrapped up in each other, connected in the most intimate way possible, while whispering sweet nothings, 
It was everything Bucky needed. Emotional. Warm. Soft. Loving. 
He couldn’t help the tears every time he was inside you, he finally had you back, wrapping his arms around you every time you made love, making sure you knew exactly how much he had always adored you. As much as he wanted to take you apart in every way imaginable, he couldn’t help but slip into missionary every single time, wanting to see your pretty face, feel your body, have your legs wrap around him as he came inside you. 
*****
You threw on your coat while Bucky slipped his arm around your waist while you both made your way down, passing through the living room on our way out. 
“Damn future Mrs. Barnes” Sam whistled, along with the rest of the team, everyone gathered for a night for a movie. “Where you off to?” 
“The three of us are going out for dinner” Bucky smiled with a child like grin, snickering to himself while the team looked at you with confusion. 
“Three?” Steve cocked his head, noting the way you shied into Bucky’s chest, giggling while he kissed your head, his hand slipping down to brush over your belly. “THREE?”
Steve’s eyes grew wide as he shot out of his seat, pointing at your tummy. “THREE” He whipped his head to Tony, Nat, Sam and Clint who slowly connected the dots. “THREE” 
“For fucks sake, it hasn’t even been a month Barnes” Tony snorted, while everyone pilled onto you both, a large mess of hugs and tears. 
“You didn’t waste any time, huh” Sam wiggling his eyebrows while Bucky wrapped his arms around you, his hands splayed on your tummy. 
“Never again” He whispered, tilting your chin to kiss you deeply, “Never ever again” 
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vaguely-concerned · 1 year
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listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.
I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.
and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.
(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)
basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.
the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.
instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.
it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight
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lurkingshan · 17 days
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Every time I see a Wedding Impossible GIFs on my dash I keep thinking that when it's over I'd love to read your take on what went wrong with this show. In a form of a very spiteful rant preferably.
(the show probably doesn't deserve too much of your time but I am just very VERY curious and had to share)
WELL! I was considering just letting this show go quietly into the night, but I will take this excuse to do a good rant instead.
*cracks knuckles*
You asked what went wrong with this show, but truly, nothing went right with it. From top to bottom, it's an utter waste of a good premise and a total destruction of the rare opportunity to get some positive queer rep into a het kdrama for a broader audience than will ever be reached by a ql. Let me list the most glaring problems:
They made Do Han a supporting character in his own narrative. Do Han, his sexuality, his desire and need to hide who he is to protect himself, and his desperate plan to avoid a life he doesn't want is the core of the story. Despite that, the story treats him like a minor supporting character with limited screen time and virtually no interiority or character development that made any sense.
The relationships were poorly written and the bonds were not believable. Ah Jeong was meant to be Do Han's ride or die bestie, but nothing in their scenes together or her behavior towards him suggested this was actually true. They seemed more like acquaintances who were friendly enough but had no real loyalty to each other, or even like she was a random actress he hired to play his wife. And Ji Han and Do Han had no brotherly bond or affection to speak of; their relationship consisted entirely of Ji Han throwing tantrums and demanding things for no reason other than he wants them, and Do Han trying to avoid being forced into them.
The leads were terrible people and the show did not realize that. Do Han's brother and best friend entered into a romance while she was engaged to Do Han. Ji Han thought it was a real relationship and did not seem to feel any guilt about pursuing his brother's lover. Ah Jeong was under a contract she agreed to as both his best friend and as a job to protect him and did not seem to care that she was breaking her commitment and threatening his safety. They gallivanted around flaunting their relationship in public with no regard for Do Han or his reputation whatsoever. And the show tried to convince me that Do Han was the selfish one in this scenario for the great sin of being gay and not just fucking off and getting out of the way of their relationship. Ji Han and Ah Jeong were never held accountable for what they did to him; instead we got to watch many scenes of Do Han being shamed and berated. Anyone who contributed to the writing and depiction of this can get fucked.
Every element of the story was poorly written and the resolutions were either unearned or so badly set up that they fell flat anyway. Do Han was being harassed and stalked and the story only barely cared about this. The family drama was boring and the grandpa character was a mess of contradictions who changed on a dime depending on the demands of the plot. There was no chemistry to speak of between the leads. The romance was utterly unbelievable and developed so poorly that it was impossible to care about whether these two assholes got together. The show used romcom tropes randomly to fill time even if they didn't fit. The final episode was stuffed with cameos by actors with personal connections to the cast and crew in the hopes it would distract us from what an unsatisfying conclusion it was, and the whole thing ended on a bizarre wedding gag that didn't work at all. The only good part was Do Han coming out on his own terms and leaving to go live his own life in New York, but the way they framed that was so gross I couldn't even enjoy it.
Most importantly, the messages of this show were deeply, unforgivably homophobic. This story went out of its way to tell us over and over again that Do Han is a selfish coward for being closeted, that his sexuality is a burden for his loved ones, that his family and friends are the real victims for having to deal with him, and that he was the one in the wrong for trying to protect himself. At no point was he allowed to get truly angry at the way his family and friends were treating him; he remained benevolent and shouldered the guilt and blame for everything, despite doing absolutely nothing except try to live an authentic life. At every turn the show depicted his siblings and grandfather and friend being hateful and/or careless with him, but then told us it was Do Han's fault for being who he is. They wanted us to blame the gay character and sympathize with a brother who resented him for not being the straight business leader he wanted him to be, and a friend who betrayed him without a second thought. The show argued passionately that the lies Do Han told to protect himself were the real problem, not the homophobia and hatred and rejection he faced every day of his life. It was an abysmal and offensive message and exactly the opposite of what a responsible piece of media would be trying to communicate.
I don't know if the people who made this show are actively malicious or just deeply incompetent, but they had no business telling a story involving a queer character if they were going to do it like this.
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abbysdruidess · 10 months
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(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ how abby proposes to you-modern au ♥
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wc: 1k
warnings: modern au, marriage proposal, allusions to sex, general fluffy fluff, abby is a lil softie
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❦ ok so how did it happen? I imagine you two had been together for a looong time, staying together throughout college and whatnot<3 and let me just say, abby adores you. You're her ray of sunshine, what keeps her up and going most days, she'd travel to hell and back just for you, only for you. Your love is impossible to comprehend, since it is not of physical substance, but you're surrounded by it every day.
❦ it's no wonder then that she wants to marry you sooo badly🥺the lil softie waited until you two settled down a bit, found steady jobs and got your dreamhouse all set up. And so, she stumbles randomly one day on an ad for wedding rings and she's like fuck- because she always daydreamed about the big day, but she never considered it for real since both of you were in college
❦ but now it could not exist merely as a fantasy. And so, she goes on the hunt for a ring that is so very distinctly you-she probably gets your birthstone on it, and engraves your initials on the inside. bby is corny like that<3
❦ of course, she is not used to grand, poetic gestures of love, but she would be damned if she didn't try for you. She wanted to make the proposal an event to remember, so she takes you to a place that means a lot to the both of you-she decided on a small secluded beach that you guys had a lot of date nights together(and lots of fun nights in general ifkyim;))
❦ she packs a picnic basket full of some rosé champagne, a couple of bruschette and a strawberry trifle (your fave<3). She decides to do it in the anniversary of when you guys met, so a special lil event wont seem so meticulously planned
❦ so she drives you both to the beach, as she admires you from the passenger's seat-dressed to the nines, wearing a small dress that accentuates your curves while look at her beaming, eyes gleaming with adoration as you cup her hand over the gear shift<3
❦ once you arrive, you both set off for the little patch of shore, secluded from the world due to the large bushes and uncut grass that separates it from the rest of the world
❦ she sets down a white blanket and motions you to sit with her. You two sit back as you recount previous events from your relationship, gazing at the sunset and enjoying the food.
❦ "you remember that one time when we got drunk at the karaoke bar and did Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing?" "Oh my God, Abby-"
❦ eventually, the sun starts to settle for good, and abby gives you that little smile that goes :] while subconsciously feeling the little box up her cargo's pocket.
❦ to give credit where it is due, she did actually prepare a small speech in the days coming up to today, but once she is there, with you, the pink sky casting a gentle glow over you all of it goes out the fucking window. So it ends up coming off a liiittle unprepared.
❦ "Sweetheart, you know how much you mean to me right? You... you make me want to become a better person everyday. And... I know we're still a little young, but... I know I wanna be with you always."
❦ she starts fumbling for you hand, and you feel her sweaty, clammy palm reaching out while the other hand reaches in her pocket
❦ of course, you know where this is going, and you let out an involuntary squeal. Without her having made the actual proposal, you jump in her lap and start peppering her face with soft, soft smooches, while mumbling yes, yes abby I would love to more than anything.
❦ the box ends up falling next to her on the blanket, while she lies on it dragging you down with her. You end up shedding all of your clothes for some late afternoon delight with you now fiancé-and soon to be wife:))- in the spot you've been so many times with her, a deep celebration and confirmation of your love settling in
❦ afterwards, once you two lie down together snuggling, she slides the ring in your pointer finger while giving it a little kiss, as if sealing it in.
❦ the next day she calls her dad to announce that you said yes!!and of course he is over the moon for her, deeply content that his daughter found a person she wants to devote herself to and who loves her with her whole heart<3
❦ of course, you two have a load of preparations to make-you have to book the venue, decide on the guests, what to wear, the food and soo many other things that will be settled eventually-you know that with Abby on your side, these things will go over easily and you will both adore your final choices❤
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mykoreanlove · 3 months
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Jackson on Kinjaz
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Your phone was blowing up constantly.
„Oh my god, did you see this?????“, your friend asked.
With shaking hands you clicked on the link.
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„I used to be critical on myself in my mind in a negative way. Not healthy. At all. I would call myself names and put myself down in my mind. I drank the most disgusting shakes for my body health but up here? I was rotting.“
„Yeah, yeah. I remember videos of that nasty shake. What did you put in there - chicken?“
„Gotta get my protein, man. But you know I would constantly feel guilty for what I have done or what I might do.“
„Like what?“
„Like. Okay, like did I practice enough? Is magic man good enough? What if I let everybody down? How will I cope? How will I live?
All these voices.. these fucking nagging voices were with me 24/7.“
„Damn that sounds tough. What did you do?“
„I thought it was impossible to fix because I tried so hard and nothing changed me. Or if it did, it would only last a couple of weeks and I’d be back to feeling like shit and talking down on myself.
Jackson, you moron, how could you do this? Did you really think you could make it? You don’t deserve this success. You don’t deserve to be happy.“
„Jackson, bro. I feel for you. Really.“
„Look, I’m just being honest. I would naturally think of punishments coming my way. I’d imagine injuring myself or loosing all my fans or money. I’d think of the most horrific shit late at night when I should be peacefully sleeping.
I would try to change my thoughts to change my feeling. I would rationalize my way out for hours to only find myself entering a new cave.“
„Like a merry go round.“
„Exactly, I was stuck. Same shit, different day. My gut always had this underlying feeling of tension.
I tried my best to give myself relief but like I said, I could not find Relief for longer than a week. Maybe a month at best.“
„Is that why you turned to alcohol? Because I remember you chugging down a bottle of Hennessy and thought to myself that’s not normal.“
„Oh, of course I started drinking more. I needed more. What used to make me pass out back then is like a cute little cocktail to me now.“
„Damn, that really is a lot to handle. Did you try other things, as well?“
„Look, I tried everything in the book. You name it, I tried it. Worked out. Meditated. Drank. Had sex. Nothing could give me what I craved so badly. Nothing. Until I found her.“
You swallowed hard.
You had no idea that he would share all this with the public. You were very well aware of his struggles but hearing him talk about them upset you. It broke your heart imagining him like that, all dim and broken.
Also, it made you nervous.
You had no idea that he would introduce you into the world like this.
You had no idea that he would reveal your relationship to his homies on a podcast.
Yet, you were intrigued.
„Her as in …?“
„You see, love is a funny thing, right? I didn’t plan to fall in love, nor did I want to but I kind of did. I found the one, man. I found the love of my life and I was lucky enough to have her love me back. Do you know how rare that is?“
„Yeah, it is for you. I remember our last interview and how we wanted to get you on tinder and shit.“
„Exactly! I used to be on my own for years. Years, man. I gave up on love completely, thinking this was meant for others but certainly not me. And then she came into my life. Like an angel that was coming down to help me. Save me even.“
„Your savior, huh?“
„I swear to god her love saved me. It saved me from drugs, it saved me from self destruction and first and foremost it saved me from myself. I gotta be honest man, if I hadn’t met y/n I wouldn’t even be here anymore.“
„Wow. That’s, that’s a pretty heavy revelation. I’m glad you’re doing better now.“
„Oh, I am. Management is probably going to kick my ass later but I don’t care. Let me loose fans, let me loose money. I don’t give a shit. If you support me now, you support the real Jackson Wang. And that’s me right now - happily coupled to the most beautiful soul on this planet. If you can’t handle that - my bad.“
„Okay guys, it’s over. China‘s most wanted bachelor is officially off the market. WHOOOO!!“
„Yeah, the king has finally found its queen.“
„So, what is she like?“
You paused the interview and took a deep breath. Jackson was very vocal of his feelings for you, but hearing it like that felt different. The biggest smile was plastered on his face as he was talking about you.
You as in his queen.
You as in future Miss Wang.
Hundreds of butterflies announced themselves in your stomach, making you giddy and joyful.
„Oh man, she is the best. Like, she is so breathtakingly beautiful. Inside and out. We have the best conversations. I feel like she is my best friend. Truly, no one gets me like she does. It’s just.. it’s effortlessly easy. We laugh a lot, we talk a lot, we share everything with each other. I’m just so grateful, man.“
„Yeah, I can see that. You’re grinning from ear to ear. Make sure to invite me to your wedding.“
„Like you invited me to your birthday?“
„Okayyyyy, let’s wrap it up. Guys, that’s it for today. Thank you Jackson, really appreciate you brother.“
You stopped the video, giggling at your petty boyfriend.
„Remind me to have a word with you once you’re back, yeah?“, you texted him.
It didn’t take him a second to instantly call you.
„Did you see it? Already? Damn babygirl, you’re quick“, he teased.
„You could have warned me, Wang!“
„I didn’t plan to say all that but I couldn’t help myself. It just.. it just came out of me. I really meant it though.“
„Everything?“
He knew exactly what you were implying.
„Oh, I’m gonna make you Miss Wang for sure. Rule my kingdom with me? Please?“
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imightgetbetter · 13 days
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living this life with you
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hiiiiiii. long time no see. not promising that i'm back back but i'm definitely in the market of doing some writing again and getting back into the swing of things. this is a fun little smutty thing about the day matty and the missus decided they were going to try to have a lil baba. i have crazy baby fever lately so i figure this would probably hold me over until i'm ready to actually have a child of my own lol but anyways! let me know what you think and maybe send in some ideas for me to write if you'd like <33 love you all i think of you often
Carly and Adam’s son is placed in your lap, happily chewing on an ice pop and cooing every few seconds at the taste. Adam and Matty are talking about something for the upcoming album, a plan for when they’ll begin recording and beginning the process for the next roll out. Matty smiles over at you, his hair growing in luscious curls, begging to be ran through your fingers. You can’t take your eyes off of him, off the way he looks so happy just being with his friends, off the way he looks so healthy, so full of life. He looks the best he’s looked in years, you’d say, and it’s making it impossible to keep your eyes – and hands – off of him.
“Come here, baba,” Matty says, bringing the baby onto his lap and giving him kisses across his cheeks and neck, earning a fit of laughter from the baby’s mouth. “You are so lucky he looks like Carly.”
“Ha ha,” Adam scoffs, shaking his head, grabbing his beer and taking a pull from the pint glass. “What about you two? When are you going to pop one out? Add another member to the band.”
“Don’t start,” Matty warns, shaking his head. “Your father is going to get me in trouble, Little Hann.”
Carly looks at you quizzically, a frown passing over her features as you shake your head, not wanting to get into this conversation here, in front of your friends. You and Matty have argued about this multiple times over the last week alone, a brewing debate and you knew that if you got into it today, it would be even worse. You were reaching your breaking point with this conversation, and you really can’t bear to do this in front of people you know so well.
“Carly, do you want to step inside with me? I could use another soda.”
“Sure, love.” Carly presses a kiss to her son’s head and grabs her glass and walks with you into the kitchen. She follows you in quietly and leans against the counter. “So, tell me what’s wrong.”
“Ugh,” you sigh, grabbing ice and setting your glass on the counter with a clunk. “Matty is avoiding the baby conversation.”
“What do you mean?”
“Every time I bring it up, he tells me that we’re not ready or that he doesn’t want to have the conversation, right now. It’s like he’s totally changed his mind about having kids and won’t bother telling me. I’m getting really frustrated by it. I’m not getting any younger! I’m ready to do it, now, you know? He’s home and we’ve got some time and who knows how long it’ll take, and I’m just frustrated.”
“I’m sure he’s just nervous, babe! It’s a big deal, you know. Maybe he wanted to have extra time just the two of you. I mean, he is quite selfish with you. Maybe he just doesn’t want to share you.”
“I suppose,” you hum, swirling your soda around in your glass. “I want a baby, though. Badly, Carly.”
Carly giggles, “I remember those days. The baby fever was crazy.”
“I feel like I’m insane. Like, I want to climb Matty like a tree, twenty hours of the day. If he’s around, I feel like I need to attack him. It’s great for him, and for me, obviously. I just, Carly, I want to have a little Matty baby.”
“Talk to him! I know that if you talk to him about this, like really talk about it, he’ll be on board. I mean, it’s you and Matty. It would be ridiculous if after everything you two have been through you couldn’t talk this out. Look at him with the babe, too. Of course, he’ll want one with you.”
“I suppose so,” you say with a sigh, looking out through the glass doors and admiring him from afar, the baby on his lap, the falling curls in his face, the way his voice immediately shifts to talk to the baby. It’s everything you want and you’re sure that Matty would be right beside you.
Matty stands up from his chair and takes the babe with him, Adam following closely behind. “Darling, I think we need to steal him.”
“I am not letting you take my son, Matthew,” Carly laughs, shaking her head and reaching out for her son, who babbles happily and reaches back for his mumma. Matty hums, wrapping his hand around your waist and kissing your temple, humming against you as he sets his hips behind yours. “You two could have one though.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Matty laughs, kissing your cheek and grabbing his keys from the counter. “We should get going. Adam, I’ll text you about the studio time this week.”
You look at him with confusion, pursing your lips together and shrugging your shoulders as Carly gives you a questioning look. Matty grabs your hand and pulls you out, immediately grabbing your face and kissing you, hard, on their front steps. His mouth is heavy on yours, his tongue gliding against yours, his hands moving down your body and cupping your ass in his hands.
“Hm,” you hum, pulling back with a giggle, your mind glossed over with his touch. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Hann got me thinking,” he hums against your lips, biting at your bottom lip as he pulls you in closer, your body pressed tightly against his.
“Thinking about?”
“I think I want one.”
“One what?”
“I think I’m ready, you know, for us to have a baby.”
You blink twice, pulling your face away from his and staring at him in awe. “You’re not joking, right?” You set your hands on his chest, pushing your bodies away slightly, just to get enough space to know if he’s speaking in the heat of the moment or if he’s serious. “Don’t, I mean, if you’re not serious, I don’t want to get into another argument about this.”
“No, darling. I want it. I want a baby with you,” Matty hums, leaning in closer and pressing his mouth just beneath your ear, kissing the soft spot on your neck sweetly, seductively whispering, “I want to make a baby with you.”
“Take me home. Take me home, right now.”
Matty laughs loudly, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the car, his hand pulling you into his chest once more to kiss you, your heart pounding so heavily in your chest, you’re sure he can feel it.
“My heart is beating so loud I can feel it in my ears,” Matty chuckles, closing the door behind him and waiting for you to settle into your side of the car.
“Mine, too,” you hum, closing your eyes to soak in the moment. “What made you change your mind?”
“Change my mind?”
His eyes don’t meet yours, but you can see the way his eyebrows quirk together in confusion. “About having a baby. You’ve been avoiding the topic every time I’ve brought it up the last few weeks.”
Matty rubs his hand over his stubbled cheeks, sighing and turning to face you. “Honestly?”
“Always want you to tell me honestly.”
Matty hums for a moment, “I’m scared.” The light turns green, and he turns back to the road and reaches to grab your thigh. “I have been working so hard at being a good husband and being a good friend and being a good artist in the last year. I am not sure I am cut out to be a good father. I love the babies we’re around. I love babies. And, by God, YN, I love you. More than anything. I want to do everything with you. I just can’t help but worry that things won’t be the same. We won’t have time for each other the way we do, now. I don’t want you to feel like we lose our relationship when we become parents. It’s just, it’s a bit scary.”
“My love,” you sigh, reaching across the console and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Matty, why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“You seem so ready, darling. I didn’t want you to feel like I’m not ready. I am, I just, I’m nervous.”
“It’s okay to be nervous, baby.” You wait until Matty’s parked the car to unbuckle your seatbelt and reach over to grab his cheeks, coaxing him to look at you as you smile, your eyes wet with realization and pure, unconditional love for this man who has always done everything according to your timeline and your wants. “I’m nervous, I have no idea what we’re going to do, but it’s you. You and me. And there’s nothing I want more than to live a life where we can make something from how much we love each other. All the rest of it? We can figure that out. All that matter is that I love you. Unconditionally and forever.”
Matty looks at you softly, his eyes melting into your stare as he tilts his head and captures your lips in his, kissing you deeply. “Let’s go inside,” he mumbles against your lips. “Let’s go practice.”
You smirk against him, quickly following his lead as he clambers out of the car, unlocking the front door and taking your hand, pulling you inside after him. He takes your cheeks in his hands and kisses you, his tongue sliding along your bottom lip, teasing you, his hands reaching your back and ghosting across your skin, smacking your backside as you stumble backwards towards your bedroom, a fit of giggles and laughter following your steps.
It's hurried, the undressing as you stare at each other across the room, the way Matty shuts the door behind him and pulls his shirt over his head while you struggle to unbutton your shorts under his stare. He cocks his head to the side, laughing when you shake your head and mumble, shut up, and instead of helping you, he nudges you back against the bed and falls on top of you. It’s silly, to be nervous and excited like it’s your first time together all these years later, but there’s an element of newness to it that neither of you can really touch on, can really place. Matty lays beside you, letting you lead the way with his mouth on yours, easing into this. He wants to go slow, to take his time.
His hand ghosts along your stomach, teasing at your thighs, dragging his fingers along your wetness just enough to make you squirm beneath him. His fingers press against you, sliding across your most sensitive points until he hears a wantoned moan leave your lips, your kiss becoming deeper, more passionate, his hands working in circles on the nerves settled between your thighs. The sensations of it all are too much, the kiss, the pressure, the delicious pleasure moving through you, your body reacts so intimately, so happily to him. It’s like you were made to be in his arms.
“You are so sexy,” he grunts against your lips, kissing your harder as his fingers dip into your heat. You moan into his mouth, your eyes rolling back as every ounce of pleasure rolls through you, your body beginning to shake under his touch. “Come on, baby. I want it, please.” Your body instantly reacts, your climax washing over you uncontrollably as you kiss him.
“Get over here,” you laugh breathlessly, pulling him on top of you, your mouth meeting his easily as he leans down to kiss you. “I love you. Endlessly.”
“I love you more, darling.” His words echo through you as he slides into you, his moan etched deep into your soul as he begins to rock his hips against you, your thighs hitched as high as they’ll go, and your bodies connected ever so intimately. It’s so special, you think, to share this intimacy with the person your soul loves so deeply, so furiously. There will never be another person that feels the way you do about this man, about his love.
And you kiss him, so passionately, so fiercely, that you nearly lose yourself in the moment. All that matters is him and you and that fact that from today on, you are going to love him with the intention of being life partners, being parents. You’re going to experience a connection that only you will share with him, that only you will know. You will be bonded forever, permanently, in a person that is an expression of how much you love him.
“I love living life with you, Matty,” you say, clutching him close and blinking back tears. It’s something you’ve always thought, but never felt compelled to say until right now.
He kisses you, a kiss that could only mean, I feel the same, and you know that this is only the beginning.
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jessaerys · 1 month
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that poll made me think of this excellent post by @magicaii re: mello’s fanon interpretation as overly emotional, and i broadly agree with all the points made, but i would also like to posit that if one subscribes to the hypothesis that mello and near grew up in a somewhat foster-sibling-like environment (which seems to already be almost universally accepted in the matt-mello relationship. is it even canon that they were roommates? it is so prevalent in the fandom that i forgot to even question it. but i digress) 
in a foster-sibling-like environment at the orphanage a certain level of childhood intimacy would be inescapable between mello and near just by virtue of growing up together: having meals together, attending the same classes, sharing caretakers and chores, being teamed up by teachers during assignments, existing in the same recreational spaces, etc. even if they were never particularly friendly with each other, they would inevitably, perhaps even unwittingly, develop some kind of understanding (“something identical in them […] something which would dart to one face, then to the other, depending on an expression or a trick of the light or the angle at which a head was cocked”) by virtue of being intellectual equals above the rest of their peers. they are, after all, foils to the L-light relationship.
in fact i find it harder to believe that they would not have interacted often at wammy’s. being slated to become and in competition for the role of L’s successor, their tutors would have set them up to push each other through special assignments/tests/projects. it is a highly effective didactic tool used in all sorts of competitive and academic environments. mello’s “you know near and i don’t get along” would be thoroughly justified: who amongst us would not hate being Assigned Partners At School with your (self-declared) nemesis!  roger knows this! he has probably threatened mello with a get-along-t-shirt! mello’s emphasis on you know is not clunky as-you-know exposition but an exasperated teenager going UGHH MOM! at a guardian that keeps refusing to acknowledge mello's protests
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all of this is to say that, with this context in mind, i can imagine mello lightly “bullying”⁽¹⁾ near not because he wants to make a punching bag out of him but because in the way kids naturally learn through play and social interaction, he'd be feeling for his advantages over near (being more athletic, better with people, easier to get along with, etc) debatably he might even want to establish/prove these differences in the social hierarchy at wammy’s (given his high “social life” stats in dn13:htr) it is these differences (that near is too passive, emotionless, haughty, at least in mello’s head) which seem to frustrate mello the most, so it doesn’t strike me as out of character to think the boy who is introduced hitting someone with a ball and tugging at someone else's hair would surrender to his id⁽²⁾ and try to get a rise out of near, that he’d want to bring near down to everyone else’s “level"
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and perhaps this is the shipping goggles i have on but there is something thoroughly intoxicating about being the center of attention of someone who you passionately resent when you are undoubtedly on top.⁽³⁾ you could argue mello subconsciously desires near’s admiration and either refuses to see it whenever it is there (“near told me i did good job, the condescending dick”) or near is absolute shit at communicating it (“your thought process in this essay was almost impossible to follow” <- badly worded compliment), so mello veers for the next best thing: near’s attention. much like with a bad cat, negative attention is still attention, and on god he is getting his fix of being so fucking annoying (look at me, why won't you look at me!) wherever he can get it
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⁽¹⁾ie. wrestling him down in the playground, toppling over his towers, hiding favorite toys, pulling his hair, locking him in closets etc. nothing life-threatening or overly painful; the mean teasing of a resentful older brother, not the harassing of a bloodthirsty middle school terrorist 
⁽²⁾especially when they are younger mello would have far less developed self control lol. by the time we first meet them, at 13 and 15, this light bullying would've been largely a thing of the past, with mello becoming gradually more distant around the time he transitions into brooding teenagehood while near is still a kid, which would've made leaving wammy's far easier (i also think that mello would firmly believe that he has earned the right to bother near while everyone else has not and he WILL be fighting them about it. only he can mess with near, thank you very much. typical older brother behavior. but this post is already too long)
⁽³⁾ no. i shan't say it
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bomboclaatt-bonerz · 2 months
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sunlight (leo valdez x child of apollo!reader)
content: semi-angst, flufferizmz, leo hating himself, leo not being silly??? i cant rn bro
A/N: lowk hate this now someone shoot me down
Leo only ever knew one kind of heat,
the one that burns. The one that suffocates you.
He knew how he's done too many wrongs in his life, too many that he couldn't stomach even asking for an easier way to live. He didn't deserve that, did he?
What he deserved was to stay in his bunker, far, far away from the outside. He shouldn't bother anyone, he should stay where he was-
"Hi...uhm, can you fix this? I kinda fucked up while I was training..." a demigod, probably around his age, walked into the bunker with an impossibly broken bow.
How can you break a bow so badly?
"Ah, yeah I sure can! Just place it on the workbench over there and I'll hand it over to you tomorrow, that good with you?" Leo spoke in his regular Leo-fashion, his smile wide and tone playful. The demigod smiled at him and nodded, gently placing the bow on the workbench then turning to leave, but then suddenly turning around.
"Oh, by the way, I'm (y/n) and I'm from Cabin 7!" (y/n) walked over to Leo and offered their hand out to him, grinning at him.
Leo smiled back at (y/n) and took their hand and shook it.
sunlight
sunlight
sunlight
As (y/n) couldn't stop breaking their bow in the most ridiculous ways, Leo couldn't stop craving their presence, a want he wouldn't allow himself to ever have. He would never forgive himself if he were to hurt them in any way, that and he knew they deserved so, so much better than someone like him.
He hated himself for letting this child of Apollo into his heart.
I had been lost to you, sunlight
"Leo...can I talk to you?" (y/n) was in the bunker, as they usually are for the past few months. "There's something I need to talk to you about...don't get mad."
No.
Gods, no.
They want to leave, they don't want to be my friend anymore, they hate me and think I'm fucking insufferable, I'm so fucking stupid-
"Leo?" he felt a warm hand wrap around his, a pair of the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen looking into his.
"A-ah, yeah sure..." Leo mumbled nervously, still scared of what (y/n) had to say to him, but he calmed down as he felt (y/n)'s thumb trace circles on his hand.
The child of Apollo looked down at where their hands were, their face flushed and their lips quirked into a small smile.
"I love you."
Oh, your love is sunlight.
Leo buried his face into (y/n)'s shoulder as he held (y/n) close to him as they hummed a melody to him in the middle of the strawberry fields, the sun shining brightly on the both of them. Leo pressed a kiss on the temple of his lover, earning him a kiss on the cheek.
He will probably never be able to see himself as deserving of anything beautiful and good, he will be fighting that battle within himself for the rest of his life.
"Then I'll undo that, duh!" (y/n) said to him smiling mischievously, their hands cupping his cheeks, "I'll keep showing you how deserving you are of everything good in this world for the rest of our lives, it'll be my life's mission to make you see what I see in you." Leo smiled at his lover, leaning into them to press his lips against theirs.
Leo now felt a new kind of heat,
one that soothes, one that comforts.
The one that makes you feel loved.
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