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#i want to draw

 This is my own character! I draw some paint like this (when i have a lot of time…). I want someday(when I have a lot of time lol) I can draw about HPHM. But now I have to studyㅜㅠㅜㅠㅜㅠ

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Y’all, I’m so frustrated right now. 

I want to pick up a pencil and draw. I even have an image in my mind. But … I just… can not do that? If that makes any sense? Because my brain is like

“Art brings us serotonin and we desperately need some, but other people draw better, so we’re not gonna do that.”

And like, I’m not a profesional artist, I’m just a kid who draws for funsies. And my hands want to draw. My soul wants to draw. My heart wants to draw. But my brain is like “nah”. 

And honestly, it’s tiring. And frustrating. And confusing. And werid. This shouldn’t be happening. But yet it is. 

Send help???

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4:10 am thoughts:

I feel like exploding in a pile of my own tears sometimes. It usually comes out in the worst way possible but it happens quite often. Not as much anymore but still quite frequent. I want to make art but I’m not sure how to make something people will love. It haunts me on how lazy and unmotivated I can be when I want to draw, when I I want to write, when I want to do something more than just being here adrift in my own thoughts. It hurts to think at this moment in time so I might just fall asleep for a little while longer. To think about what will happen next.

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