#i want to give up and stop going to doctors

[flemingsfreckles]

Trying Again

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Preview: based off of this request

Warnings: pregnancy fic (r pregnant), failed IVF (eventually successful), some angst, mentions of vomiting (morning sickness), minor player injury, cursing, lightly suggestive at the end,

WC: 5.8k

A/N: this ended up longer than I expected but oh well 🤷‍♀️ I promise it’s fuffy in parts despite all the warnings

You feel your chest tighten and your breath catch in your throat as you stare down at the test with the two letter word staring back at you.

Blinking hard you try to clear your vision from the tears building, hoping when your vision clears up the two letter word will be a three letter one. Unfortunately it’s not.

“I’m so sorry.” You voice cracks as you shake your head, not daring to look at your wife. Scared she’ll be mad, scared she’ll be angry, scared she’ll hate you. Of course those are all the irrational thoughts filling your mind, your wife would never be able to hate you.

“Shhhh. It’s okay babe.” You look up to Jessie she’s moving toward you to embrace you in a hug.

“I must be doing something wrong. I’ll do better, I’ll eat better, I also probably didn’t get enough sleep this round, training has been a been harder recently, maybe I should take time off”

“Hey,” Jessie’s hands come to grab your face, forcing you to look at her as she bends down next to you. “This”, she points at the negative pregnancy test, “is not your fault. You heard the doctor, you’re doing everything right, training is fine, it keeps you healthy and that’s what’s most important to have this baby.”

“Well it must be, the doctor also said a lot of people get pregnant on their first round, this is our third round Jessie!” You were yelling, not necessarily at Jessie but unfortunately she was the one person in the bathroom with you, causing her to be getting yelled at. You were angry, upset, disappointed. You felt like this was your fault.

“Babe.” She tried to comfort you as you go to stand up and leave the bathroom.

“Jess stop!” You push her hands off of you. Throwing the test aggressively into the trash bin and storming past Jessie out and into your bedroom, the door closing hard behind you.

That’s when the tears come streaming out. They’re warm as they leave two trails down your face. Not wanting to alert Jessie that you were bawling in your bedroom, you clasp your hand over your mouth muffling your cries. You and Jessie had been trying for months, wanting to have a baby of your own.

The first time it was disappointing reading the negative test, but you were both still eager to try again. You waited a couple of weeks before starting your second round of IVF. Another round of shots, appointment, and being poked and prodded, but all was worth it when you would see the excitement on Jessie’s face when she talked about your future baby. The second failed test was discouraging, you had cried a little bit, unknown to Jessie. You had waited until you were alone in the shower before letting the tears flow. You felt terrible, you really thought the second time would work, but it didn't and it chipped away at your positive demeanor.

Jessie was your rock through the second failure, she spent time reading and researching, despite the doctors already giving you all the knowledge you needed. The two of you waited a few weeks before starting up the third round of hormones and appointments. Jessie cooked meals that were supposed to help your body, she made sure you drank enough water, you were never too cold or too warm, she was making sure everything was perfect.

Except it wasn’t perfect, the two of you had just failed again for a third time to start your family. It was less Jessie’s failure you thought to yourself, it was yours, you failed the both of you.

A soft knock comes at your door, you don’t say anything, knowing you well, Jessie enters despite the silence from you. She doesn’t say anything, she sits down next to you, letting out a sigh before grabbing your hand, squeezing it tightly with her own. Her other hand comes up to gently push your head onto her shoulder. That’s how the two of you stayed, sitting in silence, your head resting on her shoulder, tears streaming down your face, only now you didn’t hold in the sobs. A small sniffle from Jessie indicating to you she was crying too.

You cry until you’re eyes hurt and your throat is burning. You and Jessie had slowly readjusted so that she was sitting with her head and back on the headboard, your head across her lap as she softly played with your hair. Neither of you spoke. Both understanding this wasn’t the time to have discussions about trying again, or taking a break from trying. The rhythmic strokes of Jessie’s fingers mixed with the exhaustion from crying overwhelm you and you fall asleep.

“Babe.” You wake to your wife’s quiet voice and her hand gently rubbing your back. “Babe, do you want to go to training? We don’t have to, we can talk with the training staff or come up with an excuse. But if we’re going we have to leave soon.”

You didn’t want to go to training, running around pretending normal was the last thing you needed after the morning you two had. But you also knew pretending to be normal was maybe what would help.

“Yeah let’s go.” You stand up quickly from the bed and move to the closet grabbing out your own and Jessie’s training bags. Jessie just watches, you can tell she’s worried about you, the way she’s watching you so closely, not saying anything, just observing.

Jessie watches you closely all through training. The other girls can tell you’re off as well, but you just shake them off, telling them you didn’t sleep well the night before and had woken up in a bad mood. Jessie confirms your story with everyone who asked her if you were alright. She was better at hiding her emotions, appearing the same as she did any other day, but you could tell she was in her head as well, missing some easier passes and you caught her staring off a few times.

When you get home you’re both already ready to go to bed, feeling emotionally and physically drained from the day.

“Hey babe?” Jessie’s sweet voice follows you down the hallway toward the bedroom.

“Yeah?”

“Can we talk?” It’s a sentence that would send fear through everyone in a relationship and even though you know exactly what she’s about to come talk about, the question of asking itself gets your stomach churning.

You knew she’d want to talk to make sure you were okay. She’d end up lying awake at night if she didn’t know you were doing alright. You didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t sleep.

“Yeah.”

“I know it’s disappointing, the negative test, but it’s not the end of the world. We still have options, we can try again.”

“I’m so sick of trying and failing Jessie.” You sit down on the edge of the bed, flopping back to lay down putting your hands over your face.

“You’re not failing.” Jessie’s hand comes to sit on your thigh comfortingly.

“I am Jess, I’m not pregnant.”

“What do you want to do?” Her hand starts moving, gently rubbing your skin.

“I want a baby with you Jess!” You sit up turning to face your wife.

She’s got the look of pity in her eyes, her look is apologetic, as if you’re an injured baby animal, you know she doesn’t mean it in a pity way, but her gaze makes you feel weak. “I know you do, I want one with you too.”

You don’t say anything to Jessie, just looking at her, blinking hard to stop the tears that are threatening to leak out.

“Would you be open to trying again, if not that’s okay.” Jessie asks softly.

“I want to try until we have a baby.” Your tears were starting to fall from your eyes. Your hands were still covering your face trying to hide your tears from Jessie but your voice cracking gave you away.

“Oh honey.” Jessie’s hand leaves your thigh to pull your hands from your face. “My love, it’s okay, I know it’s hard, and I can’t imagine to feel what you’re feeling, but we’ll be okay. We can keep trying.”

You nod, your hands still hovering in front of your face, fighting against Jessie’s grip as she tries to pull them away from where you were hiding behind them.

“Let’s try again after the international break. You’ll get a rest and that’ll give your body enough time between cycles.”

“Okay, we’ll try again, but Jessie if the next one doesn’t work I don’t know if I’ll-”

“Shhh” Jessie doesn’t let you finish your sentence “the next time will work.” She plants a kiss on the top of your head before extending her hand to guide you to the bathroom where she changed you, helped wash your face, brush your teeth, get all ready for bed before she got herself ready and tucked you both into bed.

A week later you were enjoying a few extra hours of sleep, recently feeling more exhausted than normal, not having to get up for training when your sleep is interrupted by the bodily urge to throw up. You throw off the covers and sprint, just barely making it to the toilet. Normally you’d hear Jessie following behind you closely, rushing to get you a washcloth, hold your hair back, or rub your back. Unfortunately she had an early appointment with the trainer before some phone calls she had to make for the upcoming international break. She’d be gone most of the morning until early afternoon.

“Ugh.” You groan to yourself, wiping your face and grabbing your toothbrush and mouthwash. You go back to bed after cleaning yourself up, it was the day after a game and you didn’t have training or anywhere to be. You wished Jessie was back to hold you and rub your back as you drifted back to sleep.

When you woke up you still felt exhausted and nauseated. You shoot Jessie a text letting her know you weren’t feeling well.

Another urge to throw up comes and you take off for the bathroom. This time there’s nothing to void from your stomach and you end up just spitting into the toilet. Still feeling nauseous you decide to just sit in the bathroom for a while.

As you sit on the cool bathroom floor, you noticed the wrapper of a pregnancy test poking out the bottom of the cabinet. That’s when the wheels started turning in your brain. The fatigue, the nausea, you hadn’t gotten your period yet but you weren’t phased by that due to the hormone changes from the IVF injections.

Fuck it, you thought, I’ll take it, it’s not like my day can get worse.

You sit up, grab the test and take it. You set your phone timer and wait. When your phone rings you grab the test, barely looking at expecting the same “NO” you had gotten over and over. You go to throw the test in the trash before you realize what you read wasn’t a two lettered word. You slowly lift the test back up to your face, the word YES staring back at you.

“Holy shit.” You throw the test into the trash in panic. You were pregnant.

You grab the test back out the trash realizing you needed that, you had to show Jessie. You then proceed to take every remaining test you could find in the house, 12 total pregnancy tests, all reading positive.

You run into the closet, rummaging looking for the small package you bought and hid when you first were trying to get pregnant. A small Canada jersey, England jersey, and Chelsea jersey, your last names across the back of all of them. You went a little overboard you’ll admit, but you couldn’t help it.

Finally you were getting to use them. You grabbed them and hurried to the office where gift wrapping supplies sat most of the time unused unless for a birthday or the holidays. You grabbed a plain box, not wanting to give away any of the surprise to your wife before she opened it.

You put in blue and pink tissue, placing the jerseys and all 12 pregnancy tests inside the box. You placed it on the kitchen counter and sat down at the stool, and waited.

Jessie wasn’t home for another 2 hours but you remained, you didn’t know what else to do with yourself so you sat, staring at the front door.

When the door swung open Jessie stopped before closing the door.

“What are you doing?” She cocks an eyebrow at you.

“I made you a little something.” You slide the box slowly in her direction. She closes the door behind her, putting down the backpack she had and taking off her coat before moving toward you. She places a kiss on your lips and then pulls the box over.

“You didn’t have to get me something baby.” She smells sweet and like a coffee shop, likely where she was completing her work for the day.

“Well I did.”

She opens the box and you feel yourself start holding your breath, waiting for her reaction. She’s silent as her hand, that you notice has a soft shake to it, reaches out grabbing one of the tests, removing it from the box. Her mouth is open as she turns to look at you.

“Are you serious?” She’s got tears in her eyes.

“Yes.” You nod, your voice getting caught in your throat as you choke back tears.

She grabs you hard, pulling you off the stool and into a tight hug. You can hear her own heart pounding out of her chest. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“How?” She points at the tests. “How did you, when did you?”

“I threw up this morning like I told you, and then with the fatigue I’ve been having the past week, I was sitting on the floor and saw the test in the cabinet, things kinda clicked, I also haven’t had my period but I thought I was just off coming down from the hormones, figured I’d try a test, and then when it came out positive I took every single one we own.” You gesture to the pile of tests.

“We're going to have a baby.” Jessie finally lets out a tear.

“We are.”

“Okay so we need to set up appointments, we need to start figuring out how along you are, get prenatals started, I should get us some parenting books, we should look into cribs,” Jessie starts rambling about the baby, her excitement taking over.

“Jess, slow down.” You put your hand on your wife’s arm. “We’ll set up an appointment, and go from there.”

The two of you spent the rest of the evening cuddling, Jessie couldn’t keep her hands off of your stomach, where your baby bump will eventually grow. She had her hands under your shirt all evening as the two of you laid on the couch.

The next few weeks were the same, you had gone to the doctor, gotten the pregnancy confirmed with a blood test and started on vitamins, and all that comes with being pregnant. Jessie had bought all the parenting books, reading them obsessively every day. She got up with you when you were sick in the mornings, holding your hair and bringing you water. She’d cuddle you back into bed afterward, letting you rest until the very last minute before you had to be up.

“What am I going to do without you?” You groaned as Jessie placed a cool washcloth to your forehead and one to the back of your neck.

“I know babe but you’ll be alright. It’s only 7 days.” The international window had arrived and you and Jessie, while both going to the same location for friendlies, you would have to travel, sleep, and exist in separate worlds for a while.

“Plus Niamh is your roommate, she’ll be good with you.”

“Or she’ll avoid me thinking I’m sick when I puke every morning.” Your hand wildly gestures to the toilet you sat in front of. The two of you had yet to tell any besides trainers about the baby.

“We could tell her? We could tell everyone? I mean the Chelsea training staff know and so does England.”

“But is it too early to tell friends?” You knew Jessie was worried, you had been told that with the amount of tries it took, there was a chance the pregnancy wouldn’t last. That had scared both of you for the first few weeks until at your most recent appointment the doctor informed you that you had made it through the riskiest time period for the baby.

“I mean I’m 10 weeks, the doctors said it was pretty safe after 8 weeks if we wanted to tell people. I’m not opposed, plus at some point I’m going to start showing.” You place your hand on your waist where your bump had just barely started, something you could excuse as minor bloating.

“Okay.”

“Should we tell the Chelsea girls today?” You look up at Jessie.

“Yeah we can. If you want to babe.” She places a kiss on your forehead and removed both of the washcloths, gently wiping your skin as she does.

“Okay.”

You and Jessie both caught Emma before the start of training asking to speak to her. You told her the news, she congratulated you both and told her to let you know if either of you needed anything. She also said she’d gather the girls for you at the end of practice so that you both can talk to everyone.

“Alright girls, good work today! I need everyone in the conference room after you get your shoes changed, it’ll be a quick meeting I promise.” Emma flashes a smile at you, unknowing to everyone else that the look was intentional.

You walked into the conference room with the rest of the team. Emma stood at the front.

“Okay I promised this wouldn’t be long, so you two want to come up here?” She looks over at where you and Jessie were sat.

You look at Jessie and stand up. You’re not sure why but your nerves are starting to kick in, you knew they’d be happy for you, they were your friends, but it was still nerve wracking.

“Um, hi,” you give a small wave to the crowd of your teammates. A lot of them are staring back at you with confused faces, some looking worried.

“So, Jessie and I um, well” sensing your nerves, Jessie grabs your hand giving you a squeeze and a smile. “We’re um, we’re having a baby, I’m pregnant.”

The room erupts in front of you, shouts of excitement from your teammates, some of them clapping, they all start making their way to you and Jessie, giving you both their congratulations and hugs. The girls asked how long you’ve known, what the due date was, when you’d take off time from work, even Sam clapped Jessie on the back making a joke about her strong swimmers. It was a little overwhelming but you realized just how loved your baby was going to be.

“Niamh, come here.” You wave over your international teammate. “So obviously we’re gonna be roommates, I can send you over information, but just as a heads up, I do get sick in the mornings sometimes, if that’s a problem I can get our rooms switched.”

“That’s fine, doesn’t bother me, I’m so excited for you two!” Her arms reach around yours and Jessie’s neck pulling you in for a hug.

“Thanks Niamh.” You wander off to tell your other England teammates to keep their mouths shut until you have the chance to address that team as well. As you walk away you can already hear Jessie scolding Niamh.

“You better take good care of her Niamh I swear, don’t let her do anything silly, help her if she needs something. If I find out you weren’t good to her I’ll personally harm you.” Jessie wasn’t a very threatening person normally, she was relaxed, calm, laidback but as soon as she knew you were pregnant she took on an incredibly defensive approach, considering everything to be a risk to the mother of her unborn baby and the baby itself.

“I’ll take care of her Jess, don’t you worry.”

Despite Niamh’s promise, Jessie was still paranoid being away from you. She had never left you for more than a couple hours since learning you were pregnant. You were a mess when she had to leave, her flight a couple hours before yours. Tears streaming down your face as you walked her to the door, holding onto her, nearly forcing her to stay.

“Baby, I have to go, I can’t miss my flight.” She held you tight as you clung onto her.

“I know, I’m just going to miss you.” It was a weird feeling, you knew you were being overdramatic, but you couldn’t help it. You hardly ever cried when Jessie left, you knew she’d come back, you’d see her soon, and you’d never cried when you were flying to the same location.

“I love you, I will FaceTime you and Niamh tonight. You need to stop crying honey, you’re going to get dehydrated.”

“I love you.” You sobbed, getting the words out between deep breaths sending yourself into a coughing fit. You eventually let Jessie go and she left, leaving you to finish packing for your own flight. You throw in the tiny England jersey, Jessie had taken the Canada one, both of you wanting to tell your national teams at some point.

Over the next few days at camp Jessie was insistent on texting you every hour or two to check on you, she also was busy texting Niamh, LJ, Hannah, Jess, and Fran, making sure they all were checking on you. You felt bad for them having to respond to your wife’s texts but you knew they were happy to keep Jessie in the loop with how you were doing.

Everything was going well, until your second training session of the day. You started running laps, suddenly feeling nauseous, dizzy, a cramping in your stomach.

“Niamh.” You reach your hand out to the girl next to you, slowing down.

“You alright?”

“I don’t know, I feel sick.”

“Okay, here let’s go over to the bench.” Niamh wraps her arm around your waist, walking with you over to the bench with the trainers. The trainers, knowing your situation start assessing you. They decide to bring you inside. A few minutes later there’s a knock at the training room door. Leah enters.

“Hey what’s going on? You alright?”

“Yeah, no I’m good.” You try and brush her off.

“Dehydrated?” You shake your head at her. “Then what’s going on?”

“Its just a thing.” You look at the trainer, hoping he’ll maybe help your lie, he doesn’t.

“What thing?” She then quickly adds “if you don’t want to tell me you actually don’t have to, just as your captain, I like knowing what’s going on with my girls.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

“Yeah.” Your eyes start to well with tears. “Jessie and I are having a baby.” You can’t help but smile as the words come out of your mouth.

“Oh my gosh, congratulations!” Leah pulls you into a tight hug. “Does anyone else know?”

“We told the Chelsea girls just last week and the training staff has known since we knew, but no one else.”

“That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you.”

“I want to tell the rest of the team but I’m thinking maybe at the end of the week after the game against Canada, that way Jess can be there.”

“Up to you two obviously. But you’re good to play?” She looks between you and the trainer still by your side. He nods.

“Yeah, at least for now, once I start having a bigger bump probably not. I just need to take it a bit easy, but it’s just standard symptoms, nothing concerning.”

Leah congratulates you again and exits the training room. Before returning to the pitch you find your phone with a slew of unread texts from Jessie.

Jessie 🥰: hi, I know you’re training, hope you’re doing well

Jessie 🥰: drink enough water and electrolytes please

Jessie 🥰: make sure you eat something too

Jessie 🥰: I have to go to training soon, keep taking care of yourself and our baby

You: Hi, I did get sick at training today, just so you know, I’m okay though, I got checked out by the staff. Leah now knows as well, she came to check on me and I told her.

You return to training with clearance from the doctor. You take it easy, the rest of the team coming to check on you. You and Leah had discussed just saying you ate too close to the start of training and that’s why you got sick. That deterred most of the questions for the day but as the week went on and you got sick a few more times which then brought up the questions again.

The end of the week comes quicker than you expect and suddenly you’re lined up in the tunnel, staring across the hallway to the back of your wife’s head. You were supposed to be playing all 90’ assuming you felt good enough to do so, you had a long chat with Leah and Sarina about your playing time, they both left it up to you on your minutes.

The game was physical from the start, thankfully you spent most of the first half being guarded by Jessie, she kept her distance except when you had the ball, then she’d get physical but you could still tell she was holding back. By the end of the half you were ahead 2-1.

You agreed to start the second half, still feeling good, a little fatigued but no more than you normally would for running around for 45 minutes.

It was going well until a corner kick for Canada came. You went up to jump as Jessie kicked the ball in for her team. When you did you got body slammed by two Canadian players, someone’s elbow hitting your lower stomach, unintentionally of course, but still causing you to hit the ground hard, clutching your waist.

“Fuck.” You groan into the grass under you.

You hear the whistle a second later, Niamh and Lucy both are by your side, flagging over the training staff.

“Hey they’re going to come help you.” You hear Niamh who is squatted down by your head.

“No I’m good, just knocked the wind out of me.” You try and wave off the staff and your own teammates.

“Okay, we’ll just get you some water, just stay sitting for a second. We’re not in a rush, take your time.” Lucy directs you.

“No, you should probably get checked out.” You hear Niamh say to you and Lucy. She gives you a look, widening her eyes slightly hinting at the secret she knew.

The trainers join the three of you. Asking you what’s going on, how you feel, what you need.

“Take her off!” You hear your wife coming up behind you.

Janine is quick behind her, grabbing her arm. “Jess let them take care of it, you’re not a doctor.” Jessie manages to wiggle out of Janine’s grip, storming toward you, still yelling at the England staff.

“I’m telling you, take her off.” She then turns to you, “you need to get looked at, and you know it.” You can tell she’s trying not to expose the secret you both held.

“Fleming, it’s not that big of a deal, she’s fine, go back to your side.” Lucy steps between you and where Jessie stood above you. You already know that Lucy’s actions are about to piss your wife off.

“Lucy, kindly fuck off, she’s my wife, I know her better than you, she need to come off.”

Lucy turns to you eyes wide, “What’s up with her?” You just wave her off.

“Take her out!” Jessie shouts again. You’d never seen her like this. Red in the face angry, hands clenched hard at her sides, shouting not only at the staff, your teammates, and you.

“Jess,” you try to calm her down. But she just turns her shouting to be directed at you.

“No, this isn’t something we’re discussing, you got hit, you need to be taken out.” She’s stern in her words, giving you a glare.

“Okay.” You nod at her, seeing her like this was making you realize that despite already feeling better, your stomach did hurt and you should probably get checked. You look at the staff. “I’ll go off.”

Jessie doesn’t say anything else to you or anyone and just walks away, returning to her team.

“Let’s get you checked out,” the trainer helps you up. You walk off the pitch, getting replaced. You walk all the way down the tunnel and into the training room.

The trainer and doctor on the staff help check you out, even using the ultrasound finding your baby’s heartbeat. They give you the all clear but advise you to schedule an appointment for when you get back home to be safe.

You walk back out to the bench just as the game is ending. The scoreline had not changed while you were away, England had come out victorious. You look around the pitch as your teammates celebrate the victory with each other.

“All good?” Sarina finds you as you wander toward Niamh, not being able to locate Jessie.

“Yeah, heartbeat was good, no concerns. I’m going to tell the girls I think, I want them to know.”

“That’s great! Good to hear.” She pats you on the back before turning to chat with Canada’s coach.

When you approach Niamh she points across the field where your wife stood being interviewed. “She’s over there, you better go see her, she was a mess after you went off. You’re good?”

“Yep all good, both of us” you wink and gently pat your stomach, subtle to those who didn’t know but to Niamh it told her everything she needed to know. You and the baby were good.

You make your way over toward Jessie as you hear her thank the interviewer, taking off the headset and handing it back to her. She catches your eye and starts running toward you.

“Are you okay?” She’s still frantic.

“I’m good, the baby is good, there’s no bruising or bleeding, they used the ultrasound to check and even got the heartbeat.”

“Good.” She pulls you into a tight embrace “I’m sorry I yelled. I just saw you on the ground and I panicked.”

“I know babe, it’s okay.”

“I was rude.”

“You were being protective, it’s okay. Lucy will be fine, especially once she knows.”

“Still want to tell them tonight?” She pulls back from the long hug to look at you.

“Yeah I think that’s good.”

Back in the changing room you texted Jessie to make her way over. As soon as you hit send you stand up, gathering your teammates attention.

“Hey everyone real quick. I have something I want to talk about.” There’s a knock on the door “it’s open!” You shout and Jessie’s head pokes around the corner. She walks over to where you stood, giving quick hellos to everyone. “Jessie is here because this is her announcement too.” You take a deep breath. “So the reason, this one,” you point a finger at Jessie “was so adamant about me coming off after I was hit was because, I’m pregnant.”

Similarly to the Chelsea room, there are cheers of excitement, some whistles, and a long line of hugs to be given. Lucy gives you a hug first and then moves over to Jessie.

“Lucy I’m so sorry I really didn’t mean to be so rude out there I just” you hear Jessie babbling to your teammate, trying to apologize while you chatted with Leah and Alessia.

Lucy is quick to accept your wife’s apology. “We’re all good, you were protecting her. Protecting both of them. You’re going to be a good Mom, Fleming.”

Jessie blushes and smiles, “Thank you.”

Once you get a chance to talk to your teammates and they all get to ask how far along you are, if you knew if it was a girl or boy, when you were due, all the same questions you went through already with the Chelsea girls, you both head over into the Canadian locker room.

“Hi!” Jessie waves at everyone, “really quick I wanted to talk and sort of explain my uncharacteristic behavior this week and especially today.”

You’re not sure where she’s going with this so you let her continue.

“A lot of you noticed I had my nose in my phone a lot this camp and I may have seemed a little bit more spacey than usual. I appreciate you all for worrying about me and checking in to make sure I was okay. I am okay. Um, and then today I freaked out on the pitch at another team's player and staff, and that was unacceptable on my behalf. I apologize that I did that. The reason I’ve been on my phone and was so distraught when she went down.” She points at you. “This is my wife, by the way for those of you who have maybe never met her.” She adds and her comment gets a couple laughs.

“Anyway, the reason I’ve been weird this week is, she’s pregnant, we’re going to have a baby.” Jessie pulls the small Canada jersey out from behind her back holding it up for the team to see.

In identical fashion the room becomes a quick celebration, hugs and questions from all Jessie’s teammates.

Janine makes her way up. “I can’t believe you two kept a secret for that long, you both separately blabbed to me about the engagement rings you bought for each other within the hour of buying them. I’m so happy for you guys.” She hugs you both.

“Thanks Janine.” You both thank her.

“She’s going to be a crazy protective mother isn’t she?” Janine nudges you, you both watch as Jessie goes to talk with her other teammates, them all gushing over the tiny baby jersey.

“It seems like it, she’s never acted like that before.” You answer, before adding “it was actually really hot.”

“Gross, I’m walking away now.” Janine leaves you standing alone as she goes and finds Jessie again, whispering something in her ear that has Jessie turning around to look at you, her face with a slight blush on it, she gives you a wink and you realize what Janine had just told your wife. You walk over, giving her a kiss before you have to return to your own locker room.

When you get home the next day you both are exhausted from the trip and you fall asleep almost immediately. The next morning, you wake up not feeling nauseous for the first time in weeks, leading you to celebrate appropriately with your wife. Meaning you got to show her just how hot you thought she looked when she was being protective of you and your baby.

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jflem #jessie fleming imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #canwnt x reader

[lambtotheslaughterr]

I Burn : Part Eight

A Rafe Cameron Mini Series

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 3.6k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

PART SEVEN | MASTERLIST | PART NINE

            You knew what you had to do. And nothing was going to stop you.

            Siena left this morning. Everyone gathered in the lobby to see her off. You didn’t join them. You had a plan to keep to. When it came time for group session, you remained in your room. A nurse that wasn’t Nurse Carney came looking for you. She found you in bed facing the wall, the covers pulled up to your neck. She tried getting you to respond, to come join group like mandatory, but you didn’t budge. She left soon enough.

            You knew you would be left alone. You knew that Dr. Mooney would know exactly why you didn’t attend group. When he was ready, he would come looking for you. And that’s just what you wanted.

            For most of the day, you remained in your room, stewing in your anger. Dr. Mooney was a phony, a fake. He didn’t care about you or the others here. He only knew how to put on the mask of a good man & wear it convincingly. But you saw him for who he truly was. And soon, everyone else would to.

            It was around 7 when you started to get ready. And you weren’t just slipping into a clean pair of PJ’s. No, you were getting dolled up. The most crucial part of your plan would soon be coming together.

            At 7:30, the time for your one-on-one with Dr. Mooney, you sat on your bed with your hands in your lap staring blankly straight ahead. You knew he would come. After yesterday, he couldn’t let you avoid him forever. He would be forced to put on his mask of good intentions & seek you out. You depended on it.

            And like clockwork, about five minutes after your one-on-one was supposed to start, you felt the air in your room shift as someone stood in the doorway. You didn’t need to glance over to see who it was.

            “We missed you in group.” Dr. Mooney started, remaining just atop the threshold.

            You shrugged, not looking in his direction, “Did Nurse Carney miss me, too?”

            You heard Dr. Mooney inhale sharply before glancing over his shoulder. Then he stepped into your room, swinging the door so it was only half-way closed. It was a well-known policy that the only time a doctor was allowed into a patients room was in case of emergency services. He must view his exposed affair as an emergency. You smiled internally to yourself.

            “I think it’d be best if you joined me in my office.” Dr. Mooney kept his voice stoic. You didn’t buy it.

            “I don’t want to go anywhere with you.” You commented, your voice louder than he would like. “You’re a creep, like I said.”

            You felt Dr. Mooney giving you a warning glare, but you didn’t care. You dared him to keep pushing you.

            “Miss. _____, I must order you to follow me to my office.”

            “Miss. _____? What happened to first name basis?” You finally looked towards him, your eyebrows raised, “What? You don’t like me anymore?”

            “Dr. Mooney.” It was the nurse from earlier. She opened the door all the way, peering between the two of you in a confused manner.

            “Nurse Graham, I’m glad you’re here. I’m trying to get _____ to join me in my office.”

            She crinkled her eyebrows, “She isn’t feeling well today, doctor.”

            “It’s okay.” You smiled innocently towards her, “Dr. Mooney always makes me feel better.”

            You didn’t miss the accusatory flash of Dr. Mooney’s eyes, nor did you miss Nurse Graham’s concerned expression due to the undertone of your comment. You stood up, adjusting the skirt of your dress. You stepped towards Dr. Mooney, “After you, doctor.”

            He sighed heavily but forced a grin, nonetheless. You followed after him as he exited your room. In the common area, you spotted Rafe, Renee, & Albert hanging around. All their eyes were on you as you crossed the room. You were quick to lower your eyes, feigning shame.

            In just a couple minutes, you found yourself in Dr. Mooney’s office. He gently closed the door behind himself as you stood in the center of the room. He passed by you to his desk, grabbing his clipboard for his notetaking. But you wouldn’t be talking about yourself this evening.

            “Take a seat, _____.”

            He sat in his usual chair across from the couch, but you remained standing. Facing him head on as you stared down at him.

            “No.”

            Dr. Mooney pressed his lips together in frustration.

            “We can talk just like this.”

            His eyes met your own, & he didn’t bother to hide the animosity there.

            “If you insist.” He cleared his throat & leaned back, “How are you feeling? Anything specific you want to talk about?”

            You chuckled darkly at that, turning your back on him as you walked the edge of his office. Alongside the wall behind the couch was built in bookshelves. All the books were expected, all regarding the field in which he worked. It was just too bad there was no books on how to hide being a hypocrite or having a moral compass. On a shelf that was eye-level was a picture frame. In the picture was your beloved doctor & who you imagined to be his wife as they smiled blissfully at the camera. Poor woman.

            You fingered the picture frame, your fingers grazing over the edges. “Let’s talk about you.”

            “_____...” He sighed behind you but you grabbed the picture frame, spinning around for him to see you holding it.

            “We can talk about her instead, if you like.” You smiled wryly, “Or Nurse Carney. I don’t know, which would you prefer?”

            Dr. Mooney narrowed his eyes towards you.

            “Or who do you prefer?”

            “I suppose there’s no dancing around this, even though it is not your business, I might add.”

            You feigned surprise, “Not my business? Maybe.”

            You rounded to the front of the couch, slowly walking towards him as you held the picture of him & his wife in your hands, “But it’s hers, right? Or at least should be.”

            He stood up then, tossing his clipboard onto the chair before ripping the picture frame out of your hands.

            “Are you threatening me, _____?”

            You batted your lashes at him, “Why would you think that? You’re the one who taught me that being honest with yourself is the first step in acknowledging your problems.”

            Dr. Mooney glared down at you, “What do you want?”

            “The same thing you ask of us every single day. To be honest.”

            He exhaled through his nose, shaking his head.

            “Oh, c’mon, Dr. Mooney.” You stepped closer, closing the gap between the two of you. You ran your finger down the buttons of his shirt, peering up at him, “It’s okay to admit you’re like the rest of us. Just as fucked up.”

            He snatched your hand, raising it away from his chest. You slid your hand through his grip so his hold was then on your wrist.

            “Kiss me.” You whispered, rising on your tip toes to reach him.

            Dr. Mooney ripped away from you then, staring incredulously at you.

            “What?” You glowered, “Am I not your type? Do you need to be my boss? Boss me around, then. Tell me what to do.”

            You reached for the hem of your dress, quickly raising it up & pulling it over your head.

            “_____, stop.” He demanded, his voice hard & firm.

            “Make me.” You responded just as coolly. Tucking your fingers into the waistline of your tights, you began pulling them down.

            “Quit!” He raised his voice & you froze, staring wide-eyed at him.

            “Why don’t you want me?” You felt tears begin to kiss your eyes. “Am I not pretty enough? Old enough? Fucked up enough?”

            When Dr. Mooney said nothing, you reached behind your back to unclip your bra.

            “That’s enough!” He yelled once more, grasping you by the shoulders. The sudden movement forced your feet to get tangled in the half-way pulled down tights, causing you to fall backwards & onto the couch. Dr. Mooney fell with you.

            It was then that you started crying, screaming, begging, & thrashing about. Dr. Mooney held you still as best as he could to keep your hands & limbs from hitting him.

            “No! No! Please, stop!” You cried out.

            “_____!” Dr. Mooney’s voice rivaled your own but you screamed louder.

            Then, like music to your ears, you heard the door to his office slam open. Both of you quit moving, & you spotted just over his shoulder as three pairs of eyes stared into the office mixed with horror & concern.

            “Dr. Mooney!” Dr. Frazer raced forward, but Dr. Mooney was faster at removing himself from on top of you.

            Dr. Mooney was breathing heavily, staring wild-eyed at his colleagues. Nurse Graham rushed forward, grabbing your discarded dress on the floor & covering you with it. Nurse Carney remained in the doorway, her hands over her mouth as she took in the scene.

            “Holden, it’s not what it looks like.” Dr. Mooney’s voice shook with worry as he took in being on the end of all the heated & accusatory glares.

            “Nurse Graham, please get Miss. _____ back to her room.” Dr. Frazer ordered though his eyes never strayed from Dr. Mooney.

            You winced as Nurse Graham helped you up & shielded you from the other eyes in the room as you slipped back into your dress. Tears cascaded down your cheeks as she wrapped a secure arm around your lower back & led you out of the room, sure to keep you as far away as possible from Dr. Mooney.

            As Nurse Graham led you back towards the youth wing, you continued crying, your body shaking. But inside, you felt deep & irrevocable pleasure.

             Shortly after Nurse Graham brought you back to your room, she suggested you lie down & rest & remain in there until someone came for you. But you would do none of that.

            Leaving your room, you headed down the hallway towards the rest of the rooms. It was dinner time, everyone else would be in the mess hall. The nurses were busy, their attention elsewhere. And you knew no one would come looking for you for a while.

            Near the end of the hall, you reached an open door. The chalkboard to the right of it read Cameron, R. You stepped inside. It was empty. He was likely with the rest of them. But you had time. Making yourself at home as if it was your own room, you removed the tights from your legs & sat on his bed, pushing yourself backwards until your back met the wall. He would be there soon.

            After about fifteen minutes, you heard voices in the distance & footfalls as they echoed down the hallway. One set grew closer & you waited patiently & quietly until the object of your mission appeared in the doorway.

            Rafe hadn’t noticed you at first, but when he did, he halted immediately, staring at you in mild confusion.

            “Hey.” You offered a smile, your feet dancing as they hung off the edge of his bed.

            “What are you doing?” He questioned.

            You moved off the bed, slowly closing the distance between the two of you. Rafe watched you like a hawk as you stepped right up to him. Without saying a word, you reached for the top of his jeans, gliding your hand down until you felt the button & zipper of his jeans.

            “I’m leaving tomorrow, & I wanted to give you a good-bye present.” You lied through your teeth, leaning forward to graze your lips along the column of his throat.

            “You’re leaving?”

            “Mhmm.” You kissed his neck, feeling his body shudder beneath the action. “And I don’t want to leave without rewarding myself.”

            A fierce hand found itself at the back of your neck, the fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled your head back so he could look you in the eyes. You didn’t miss the look of suspicion in his eyes but he needn’t worry. He wasn’t your target. But you did need him.

            “What are you waiting for?” You eyed him below your hooded gaze, “Fuck me. Before you can’t.”

            His eyes studied your face, lingering on your parted lips. For a moment, you thought he wouldn’t take the bait, tarnishing your plans somewhat, but then he leaned forward, & you grinned to yourself when you felt his mouth on yours.

            With no time to waste, you placed your hands on the fabric of his shirt, moving him to he had his back to the bed, then you shoved him backwards until he fell onto it. You quickly turned away, closing the door to his room, before walking back towards him.

            “You’re up to something.” He commented as you climbed onto the bed, straddling his lap.

            “Soon you will be, too.” You quipped, latching your mouth to his. Rafe returned your kiss with fervor, his hands finding your hips as you began to grind against him. He groaned hotly into your mouth as you stuck your tongue into his, massaging the inside.

            With swift & experienced skill, Rafe swung you over so you lied on the bed, easing between your thighs easily. His bulge was prominent as he ground it against your center. You welcomed it. As he began to leave a trail of hot kisses down your neck, you moaned.

            “Do you have a condom?”

            Rafe paused in his ministrations as he leaned backwards, “Really?”

            You stared at him, unwavering, “No condom, no sex.”

            He rolled his eyes at that but moved off the bed, “You know they check all our things before we get settled in here.”

            You knew, but something told you that Rafe would still manage to sneak something in. He climbed on top of the built in desk to reach above the closet. He blindly felt around until his hand finally found what he was looking for.

            “Courtesy of my dad.” Rafe commented as he climbed back down, “He knows me well, I’ll admit. And if I’m gonna be fucking some looney bins, he’d rather me not impregnate them.”

            “Thanks, Daddy Cameron.” You laughed lightly, though Rafe cringed slightly at your nickname.

            Returning to you on the bed, Rafe slipped his shirt over his head before reaching for the hem of your dress. You lifted yourself up enough for him to remove it. Then you two were back to making out as he began to unbutton his jeans & pull them off. But you were growing impatient. You knew you had some time before you had to be back in your room, but the sooner the better.

            “Forget the pants.” You breathed out, reaching between your bodies to grasp his velvet cock. Rafe bit his lip, stifling the moan that sounded in his throat.

            “Fuck me. Now.”

            Rafe was only eager to meet your requests. But when his hands reached for the top of your underwear, pulling them down, his next words surprised you.

            “You’re dry.”

            Of course you were. This wasn’t the burning you were used to. This burning was fueled by vengeance.

            “We don’t have time for you to get me there.” You commented, reaching for him, “Don’t worry, though. I’ll be wet in no time.”

            It was obvious that Rafe wanted to rebuttal, but any attempt of his was thwarted when you yanked him on top of you, pressing your exposed pussy to his leaking cock.

            “By the way,” you started, meeting his eyes as he tore the condom wrapper, “I like it rough.”

            Rafe smirked at that, “Of course, you do.” He slipped the condom on, “Slut.”

            A yelp parted your lips as he forced himself inside you. Rafe growled into your neck, not waiting for your walls to adjust to his size before he began pounding into you. He covered your mouth as you cried out, the pain from his thrusting reaching all ends of your body.

            “God, you’re fucking tight.” He breathed out harshly. And you smiled at the comment.

            “That’s surprising.” The smile fell from your face with his added observation. You would be forced to ignore it though to see your plan through.

            Rafe yanked on the back of your head so he could look you in the eyes as he fucked you into his mattress. He leaned forward, catching your lower lip with his teeth. Your lip stung from his assault on your mouth, but you felt glee when you tasted blood. When you reached to rake your nails along the length of his back, he caught your wrists, pinning them to either side of your head. His grip was bruising. You smiled to yourself.

            “Harder.” You pleaded, watching as Rafe’s eyes darkened with pleasure.

            Rafe slammed into you, & you pressed your lips together to keep from moaning or crying out. Your pussy was throbbing, burning, as Rafe fucked you mercilessly. This is what you needed. And Rafe was the only person you knew could do it.

            His movements began to get choppy, & you felt his cock swell deep inside you. So close. Rafe let go of one of your wrists then, reaching for your chin as he grabbed it harshly. Then he smothered your mouth with his. A guttural groan filled the space in the room as Rafe pressed into you with one final harsh thrust. His groans continued but grew quieter as he spilled himself into the condom.

            Thank you.

            When you felt him pull out, you lied there for only a moment longer to catch your breath. Rafe stood up, walking towards a nearby waste bin below the desk to drop the condom inside. You hurried off the bed, slipping into your underwear & dress. When he turned around, he had already rebuttoned his jeans, but he kept his eyes on you.

            “So, what are you up to?” He questioned. You knew he wasn’t stupid, but he got what he’s always wanted. That would be all he needed to know.

            You smiled but said nothing. When you made to leave though, Rafe was quick to catch your wrist, your muscles tender & sore there.

            “Hey, why are you leaving?”

            But you just shook your head, though your smile never disappeared. Leaning forward, you kissed his cheek, “Thank you.”

            Rafe let you go as you backed away towards his door. You opened it, slowly poking your head out. The hallway was clear, you’d have to leave now.

            “It was nice knowing you, Rafe Cameron.” You grinned at him as you stepped out of his room, “Thanks for the good-bye present.”

            He looked like he wanted to say something but you were already speed-walking down the hall before he could. Slipping back into your room, you were relieved there was no curious eyes in the hall. Getting undressed, you changed your underwear & got into a pair of PJ’s. Crawling into bed, you returned back to facing the wall, the same way you had been when Nurse Graham came to your room that morning.

            As you reflected on the events of the last hour, & the events that were sure to come, you finally felt the burning rage you had felt begin to simmer. Now, all you had to do was wait.

            It was a couple of hours after your good-bye tryst with Rafe that your room flooded with light, waking you from your restful sleep.

            “_____!” It was your mother.

            Hurriedly turning around in bed, you felt your practiced tears appear.

            “Mom!” You cried, reaching for her just as she gathered you in her arms. You cried into the crook of her neck, your body shaking as she held you to her. Over your shoulder, you noticed your father standing just inside the room. His eyes were red, watery, but full of fury.

            “Daddy.” He joined you & your mother then, hugging you both in his arms. After they held you for some time, your parents finally pulled away.

            Your mother ran her hands down your face, holding you gently, “What happened?”

            You sniffled, tugging the sleeves of your sweater to cover your hands. You pulled out of her grasp, bringing your knees to your chest as you looked away, crying to yourself.

            “Honey, you have to talk to us. The police are here waiting for you.”

            You winced, shaking your head. Looking at them through bleary eyes, you begged, “Please, I don’t want to talk to them. I just want to go home. Mom, please.”

            “You will, we will. We’re taking you home immediately.” Your father revealed, his voice firm but with a hint of fear.

            “But sweetie,” your mom started, catching your eyes, “you have to talk to them. You have to tell them what happened, what Dr. Frazer & the nurses walked in on.”

            “I can’t!” You exclaimed, pulling further away from her, “No one will believe me.”

            “We believe you, baby. Just tell them.”

            You continued crying, shaking your head. This is what you wanted.

            “Dr. Mooney is saying you came onto him & that he was trying to stop you.”

            You whipped your head up, staring wide-eyed at your dad, “He’s lying! I didn’t. He…he’s the one who…”

            Your mother hugged you again.

            “I told him ‘no’.” You finally said, your voice barely a whisper.

            “What, honey?” Your mother frowned, pulling away to look you in the eyes.

            You stared hard at both her & your father, tears still falling. But with an edge & hardness to your voice, you finally revealed what they needed to hear.

“Dr. Mooney raped me.”

and i oop--

alright ya'll. this was a HEAVY chapter as far as plot goes. the amount of rewrites it went through is insane but i am very pleased with the final product. as always please share your thoughts w me via commenting, reblogging w reviews, or dropping an ask. i'm seriously so eager to hear what ya'll are thinking after this.

thank you for reading!

beau<3

Requests are currently CLOSED.

Read this post on why doing more than liking a tumblr writers work is essential to our content creation.

[my love language is words of affirmation, it would make my day if you could comment your thoughts, reblog with tags, or drop an ask that shows your support. thank you for reading tumblr writers, we appreciate you]

taglist: @jsrafesgirl @bunnycvnts @ditzyzombiesblog

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#dark!rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark!fic #dark!fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #non con fic #dark!outer banks #i burn part eight

[w2soneshots]

Can you make more of dad Simon and him freeking out wheb he has to be alone with the baby while we ste at the doctors. And he brings the baby boy to side cats bc he is not calming down

Baby boy -Miniminter

Words: 0.6k+

Warnings: none.

In which Simon looks after your baby for the first time by himself, when he’s struggling he goes to the boys for help.

a/n: i love this. enjoy!🫶🏼

"Ok, the bag with everything he needs is on the table, his lunch is in the fridge and try to put him down for his nap by 2." I said to Simon as I rushed to get my shoes on. We recently became parents to a beautiful baby boy. Simon has been amazing so far but today I have a meeting that I can't miss so he's looking after Oscar for the day. I tried to lay everything out ready for him to attempt to calm his nerves. He knows everything that I told him already but when he gets stressed I know his mind goes blank. "I love you, have fun!" I quickly kissed both of my boys on the cheek then left.

Simon's pov:

"I can do this. Everything is gonna be fine." I tried to reassure myself. I sat on the couch and got comfy, rocking Oscar back and forth gently. After just an hour he began hysterically crying. "Shh, it's ok daddy's here, shh. Please." I pleaded to the small but extremely loud baby in my arms. I've already tried changing his nappy, giving him some of his lunch (he wanted nothing to do with it) and putting him down for his nap a little early but he just continued to cry.

I couldn't call y/n because she's in the middle of a very important meeting. So I text the boys: "guys I don't know what to do he won't stop fucking crying😫" I got a reply almost immediately "we're just about to film for the pod, bring him here?" Tobi text. I sighed in relief "you sure? I don't want him to disturb you" "yes mate, I've been wanting to see him for ages!!" Harry replied. I quickly got myself and Oscar ready, grabbed the bag y/n had thankfully packed for me and left.

The drive felt like torture, I was desperately trying to focus on the road while a screaming baby wiggled in the back seat. When I finally parked up outside the tall building where we film more sidemen and things for side+ I quickly got out and grabbed Oscar from the back. When I got inside I checked in and apologised for the interruption, thankfully everyone was really nice about it. "How can someone this little make such a loud noise?" I thought to myself as the lift came to a stop.

"Hey! I could hear you coming from down the hall." Tobi said once I made it to the office. "Yea." I replied tiredly. "Oscar!" Harry shouted, running up to us "oh nelly. Can I hold him?" He asked. I nodded quickly. Harry gently took him from my arms and went to sit down in the side cast set. He stopped crying. I mentally thanked Harry. "How on earth does y/n do this, she's amazing" I thought. One of the team members brought me a coffee and I quickly drank it as I watched Harry gently rock Oscar. "I never knew you were so good with kids." Tobi spoke to the Guernsey boy. "Yea, before Oscar and Olive came about I assumed you didn't like em." I added. Harry chuckled quietly.

"The girls are gonna go crazy when they see that pod." Tobi said as we left, referring to the fact Harry sat with a baby the entire time we were filming and kept getting distracted by his light snoring. I laughed "one hundred percent." Harry sighed "well I better get home, see you boys tomorrow." I nodded "thank you guys, I seriously don't think I could have gotten through today if it wasn't for you." I said sincerely. "Don't sweat it, we know you'd do the same." Tobi stated.

When I got home I sat with Oscar until y/n got back. The door clicked and then opened "hey! How are my boys?" She said practically dropping everything in her hands. I sighed "good." She cocked her head slightly "not as easy as you thought?" "No definitely not." I replied. She giggled.

#simon minter x reader #simon minter #miniminter x reader #miniminter #fanfic #image #oneshot #sidemen #side cast #side+ #dad!simon #x female reader #x fem!reader #x y/n #x you #x reader

[kevcanwait]

hii I’m taking a angst/fluff request and this is not a non idol au which is bangchan x m! reader so this req is kinda based on a movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and ariana grande’s mv which is “we can’t be friends” soo chan and m!reader is dating for 12 years since high school and a few years later chan and m! reader, chan is leaving and m! reader is like disappointed but chan is meeting with his friends and they have a party and chan is drunk and there’s a girl she seductive him and its works so they book a hotel so basically chan cheats with m! reader and the girl is pregnant and chan is the baby daddy so the girl tells chan that she is pregnant and they have to talk about it and m! reader doesn’t know it. so the next day chan goes home and they have a date and have sex (top chan and bottom m! reader and its implied smut) so here its is chan phones rings and its the girl so m!reader answers it and he does know it because he’s soo mad.. and a few hours later he tells chan he found out so they fight and chan broke it off… a few months later m! reader undergoes to erase his memories of his former boyfriend chan from his mind and his memories and he broke down while in the procedure but he want to stop it but the procedure is successful and chan he undergoes the same procedure too. (this part is like a flashback of the cute and sad moments and its m! reader’s pov) a few years later and chan and m! reader bangs into each other and they other… soo yeah thats it you can change anything if you like too, thank you!

This finally got me to watch her music video and omg it's basically like Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind which is also an amazing movie. The way I did the details is basically like the music video but different memories 😅

Tags: Well, I don't know how to put it into words but Based on the request: Memory removal, cheating, angst, fluff, cussing, implied sex...uh, yeah lol

'You've given extensive thought about your decision and give us the exclusive permission to remove this person completely from your memories.'

You've been staring at the option for a quite some time, so long that the nurse even came to check on you and you've had to tell her twice that you're still thinking it over.

But what is there to think over? He hurt you and all you want to do is forget.

You finally bring the pen to the paper, hovering hesitantly before you check 'yes' and sign your name.

"Mn?" "Yes?" "He's ready for you." You give a small smile, handing her the clipboard then picking up the box and following behind her.

You give the box to another nurse as the one that came to get you set you up. You were a little nervous but it all hurt too much, you wanted to forget and this seemed like a better, healthier option than drinking 24/7.

Placing a pulse oximeter on your finger, she waits for your vitals to show up on the screen and the doctor is setting up the computer. The other nurse takes out the first item, a ticket, and places it on the tray under a camera.

The first nurse steps behind you, making sure the device is secure before checking with the doctor that everything is ready. When it starts, the device changes colors and it's like you're brought back to the moment of the item.

You were outside your school, the both of you chatting and smiling at each other. "Oh! Guess what?" He asks. "Come on, Channie, you know I hate guessing things, I'm impatient." "Okay fine." He pulls two tickets out of his back pocket. "I got us tickets to the dance tonight." "Wha- Y-You said dances were stupid!" "They are but I saw how much you wanted to go and I know about the multiple times your mom has asked if you were going to the dance or not." "You'd go...for me?" "Yeah...I like you, Mn. You're...You're pretty cute." Your smile was so wide that it was like your face was split in two as you wrapped your arms around his waist and he wrapped his around your neck. "Thank you, Channie." "You're welcome, Mn."

Chan fades out first as you're still there before the whole memory fades out. Then another one starts.

"You want me to move in?" His smile is so bright and beautiful, so kind as he nods. "Yeah. We've been together for years now and I'd like you to always be with me." Tears well up in your eyes, both in the memory and in real life, as you nod. "I-I'd love to live with you." You laugh softly, kissing him gently as you took the key out of his palm then climbed into his lap.

Another fade, with you left behind before it blacks out. The nurse takes out a photo of you both.

"Happy Birthday, Mnie." You laugh, your place across from him on the floor, legs crossed. "Thank you." "You look so adorable." You look over to him shocked then laughing softly, playing with the sleeves of your his over sized hoodie. "How is it you know how to make me flustered after so long of being together?" "I have my ways. Anyway, make a wish." "Okay." You sit closer to the cake, closing your eyes to think before you blow out the candles. "What you wish for?" He asks, leaning over the cake. "It won't come true if I say it." You reply, leaning in as well and you go to kiss him but suddenly there's air and you're the only one sitting with a cake in front of you.

You jolt, vision focusing back into the room and the doctor and the nurse are by your side, your hand pulling up to the chain around your neck holding a silver band. "Wait, Can- Can I keep this one, please?" "Of course, sir, it's okay." "A-Actually, C-Can I stop, I-I don't-" "I'm afraid that's not possible sir, we've already taken a majority of your memories." You gasp softly, head falling back against the chair. "I'm really sorry, sir." "I-It's okay...continue." You close your eyes as the doctor relinks the connection.

"Do you know when you'll be back?" "Nope. I really wish I did but don't worry, okay?" You bit your lip nervously, watching as he brings a hand up to the side of your face and he pulls your lip out from your teeth and kisses them gently. "Don't wait up, okay? I promise I won't be out for too long into the night." "Okay."

You watch him walk out, knowing that you can trust him but what you don't know is the classic mean girl bitch was also at the club your boyfriend's friend wanted to celebrate his promotion. Didn't know that she was purposely getting him to the brink of blacking out, pulled him onto the dance floor, took him to the hotel down the road, that she got him in bed. and that she told him days later that she was pregnant.

You also didn't know that Chan didn't go to the restroom when you were on your small dinner date, taking a call from the girl he slept with.

That night, you went home, bustling through the door as you laughed against Chan's lips, the both of you tumbling to the bedroom, tangled in the sheets a moment later as Chan was on top of you, your hands tangled in his hair and his touch burning on your body.

After, your both panting, bodies close to one another and you could feel his heart beat, wrapped up in the surprisingly cold sheets, the contrast a shocking difference from your bodies but it felt nice. Chan eventually leaves your arms and gentle kisses to get something to clean the mess, leaving you in the bed. Your head turns when you hear a phone, slipping out of the sheets and putting on your boxers before digging into your pants only to find out your phone was dead before picking up Chan's.

Your heart drops and you suddenly have the urge to throw up, your stomach churning as you turn toward Chan exiting the bathroom. "Why the fuck...is Bitch Brittney texting you about wanting you to be the father?" "Mn-" "No, answer the question!" "Listen, Mn..." "How could you!" "It's not what it looks like, baby-" "Don't you dare. How could you throw away twelves years?!" "I was drunk, Mn." "How long have you known?" "What?" "How long have you known she was pregnant? How long have you known?" "A...A week..." "You fucking bastard!" You gather your clothes and phone, throwing Chan's onto the bed as you leave. "W-Wait, Mn." "I don't want to hear it!"

"No, No, Mn, just wait-" "Don't go trying to get me to stay. If you loved me, you wouldn't have fallen for that skanks tricks." "I was drunk!" "That's your excuse?! You try to save 12 years over pure love with the excuse that you were drunk?! You could've stopped yourself, I know your tolerance!" "Mn, please." "No, if you wanted to keep me, you would've thought twice before listening to Brittney."

After getting your clothes on, you throw his house key at him, he catches it, looking at it in his palm before looking back to you. You ignore the guilt in his eyes, how can he be hurt when he did this to himself?

"Don't call. Got that?" and with that you leave and the memory fades.

That was a month ago, you still remembered it vividly before it slowly just vanishes and you can't remember what you were thinking about or what was happening.

You lay on your couch on Chan's lap, just staring up at him before he takes a chain out of his pocket and holds it above you, a silver band hanging off it and you gasp, sitting up and kissing his cheek while taking the chain before everything blurs and you sit back, placing a kiss on a little dogs head instead as you're taking its leash off.

The dog cuddles up to you, and you pet his head. The apartment around you changing, your foyer becoming a wall with a door, your walls changing from light green to a soft cream color, paintings and shelves change as you just watch your tv and play with your dog. The tv playing your memories of Chan and you together before it shuts off.

You open your eyes, the nurse and doctor smiling at you softly as the nurse helps you out of the chair. When you're full out of the chair, you turn to the doctor, shaking his hand before turning around and deciding to give the nurse a hug.

The other nurse is already gone, putting your box in a unit and shutting the door before turning it on, the box and items inside immediately lighting ablaze.

A couple days later, you're rushing to meet your coworker at a small cafe but you bump into someone, dropping your phone and wallet and you go to pick it up when another hand already has it and is holding it out to you, a small smile on his face as his eyes scan your features and you're doing the same.

"Sorry, I should've watched where I was going..." You say slowly, still gazing at the male you crashed into. "It's no problem." His smile was so cute, he was cute.

"Um, My names Mn."

His smile widens as you take your things before taking his hand and shaking it.

"Chan. It's nice to meet you."

Fun fact: Brittney definitely wasn't happy that Chan decided to do the procedure. Chan may have asked if it was possible to erase two people. Mn's dog is still alive, it's just at his apartment. I kept looking back at the music video way too often.

This was fun to write. I hope it's okay.

If anyone wants to be tagged when I post, LMK and I can do that! 😁

#random #bleh #stray kids #straykids #stray kids x male reader #Bang Chan x male reader #male reader #bang chan #eternal sunshine of the spotless mind #eternal sunshine #we can't be friends #ariana grande we can't be friends

[dinogoofymutated]

Hey not sure if your currently taking requests but I just wanted to I soooooo stoked that you write for Remy! I've been starved for years cuz there's like no fan fics for him😭.

anyway I was wondering if you could do like a fic or headcannon where gambit somehow got hurt on a mission and is on bed rest but is also like really horny because you wont have sex with his since hes hurt.

If not that's fine I just thought it up and thought it would be hilarious 😂. Anyway luv your work, keep it up😘

NSFW!Gambit/AFAB!Reader

MMMMMHHHMMMMMM BESTIE UR MIND. ABSOLUTE GENIUS. I hope that you don't mind I did make it NSFW there at the end but the majority is just teasing our favorite gambler. Also, This is for the folks who were also really attracted to that one scene in criminal minds with the bulletproof vest. iykyk.

TWs: teasing, sexual innuendos, explicit smut, Handjobs, Mutual masturbation, PNV sex. Raw sex. (Wrap it bf you tap it yall) Creampie. Reader written with Fem! pronouns.

"Asolutetly not." You're quick to say it. Gambit pouts as the words leave your mouth, still on the infirmary bed with all the wires and doodads still hooked up to him. He's giving you those scoundrel puppy eyes that he knows you usually give in to, but you're not willing to budge this time.

"No, Remy. I will not be-" You take a quick glance around the room, leaning in a little closer as you begin to whisper-yell at him. "-I will not be having sex with you right now!" Remy sighs in a pitiful way leaning against the headboard in your direction. You can’t begin to look him in the eyes right now, instead lightly pushing his face away from your spot, sitting close to his bed on a chair that you had moved from the corner. His pout turns into an amused smile, as he instead takes your hand in his own, moving it down to press a kiss to your palm. You try not to blush at him. You’re supposed to be standing strong, dammit! 

  "Come on, Chère. S' not like it's gonna make Gambit hurt any worse-” You cut him off by lightly slapping his abdomen. Remy immediately flinches, curling in on himself with a pained groan. You feel a little guilty afterward, flattening your palm to rub the area soothingly.

    “Yes, it would. Remy, I could seriously hurt you. You heard beast, any vigorous activity could rip your stitches.” You say, moving to where you can sit on the bed, facing him. You cup the side of his face, gently moving stray locks out of the way. He rolls his eyes, not at you, but at the memory of the talking-to he got when he had woken up in the infirmary. 

    “Never stopped me before. Since I been with the X-men it’s like everythin’ become a big deal. So what if I rip a few stitches here an’ there?” Remy grumbles. You give him a stern look, before leaning in to kiss his temple. He melts into your touch.

    “It is a big deal, Remy. You need to heal. End of discussion.” You say gently. Remy thinks on it for a moment, before giving you a slight smirk. 

    “And by “end of discussion” you really mean “Until Gambit tempts me into bed”, Right?” He says. You roll your eyes at him before standing. If that’s the attitude he’s going into these next weeks with, you know for a fact he’s going to be insufferable.

    You were right. The incoming weeks were almost as much torture to you as they most definitely were to him. Wherever you went in the mansion, Gambit was sure to follow. He’d be in the kitchen while you would be cooking, unable to help due to doctor's orders, but no one ever said that he had to stay out of the kitchen. He’s come up behind you, snaking his arms around your hips as he’d “Give you pointers”. He’d lean close and whisper in your ear, sometimes giving it a tip or two. But one thing about Gambit is that every time you turned him away, or laughed at him and told him to sit down, he’d get pouty. 

    That was a trend that continued. He’d deliberately go out of his way to tease you, on movie night, in the library, in the showers even. And every time, despite how hot under the collar you might have been, you turned him away. The more bothered you seemed to be however, his pouts turned into smirks. Eventually, you got fed up with it. You were trying to be a good girlfriend and make sure Remy didn’t hurt himself, but if he was going to be a brat about it, you could be a brat too.

    You started off a little more subtly than Remy did. Lingering touches here and there, kissing him just long enough to leave him wanting. You’d wear just a tad less clothing around him, or wear slightly lower-cut tops. You were beginning to realize just how easy it was to get him riled up.

    One particular day, the tension was thick in the air, having coalesced into something barely breathable. Remy was lying back on the bed on his elbows as you redressed his wound, making sure to spread ointment onto the healing stitches and care for the skin. You frequently found yourself drawn to the sight of his lower abs, the large bruise having begun to yellow as it healed. Maybe it was the fact that you hadn't seen his skin in a while, but the sight of him had you breathing a little funny. Remy was also a little quieter than normal, unable to look away from your gentle hands as you took care of him.

    Once you finished, you lingered by his side, a hand pressed against his chest. You look up to find him already watching you, but neither of you says anything. You purse your lips, debating on whether or not you’re doing what you think you’re about to do. Remy tilts his head at you questioningly. He opens his mouth to speak but fails to do so as your hand trails down to his waistband. He takes a shocked breath through his nose, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before he’s looking at you again through a lustful haze. 

    “Thought you said-”

    “Shut up.” You sigh, cutting him off. Remy smirks at you, biting his lip. You roll your eyes, caressing the crotch of his pants a few times before you begin to slip them off of him.

    “Don’t get too excited.” You whisper, but really it sounds more like a needy sigh. “Just a handy, okay?” Jambit huffs a laugh at you, but doesn’t tease. He's practically bucking his hips into your hand when you finally take hold of his cock, stroking him to hardness. You can’t seem to look away from the sight, watching as his abdomen clenches with every stroke from base to tip. You twist your hand on the upstroke, listening as Remy lets out a curse and a sudden moan just as you thumb his head, collecting his abundant precum as you use it to stroke back down again. 

    “You’re really pent up, huh?” You ask in a heated whisper. Remy’s head is tilted back in pleasure, and he huffs in amusement as he cracks an eye open at you. His hand slides up your thigh, Your legs being pressed against each other tightly to find some friction. You gasp as he suddenly slides two of his fingers up the inside seam of your pants, and you can practically feel yourself get wetter at the touch. 

    “Looks like I’m not the only one.” Remy hums. You can’t seem to pull away from him as he continues to stroke you. The air is hardly breathable, and the burning in your chest and your core starts to become too hot to ignore. 

    “Fuck it.” You say. Remy is confused when you let go of him, only to break into a wide smile when he realizes you were beginning to strip. The shirt is first to go, before your bra, and then your jeans and underwear. Remy wolf-whistles at the sight, and you wave him off, embarrassed. 

    “Couldn’t stay away from the temptation of Remy LeBeau, Now could you Chère?” Remy muses. He’s such a goof. You try to hide your smile as you carefully straddle his legs, making sure to avoid his sore spots. One of his hands holds onto your upper thigh, the other making its way to your center. He strokes you languidly with his fingers before circling your slit and pushing two inside. You suck in a breath, careful to set your hands on his shoulders without putting any weight onto them. 

    “Looks like this pretty pussy missed me as much as I missed you,” Remy says breathlessly. His eyes flicker from your cunt up to your bare breasts, and then to your flushed face. You feel like you’re falling apart too quickly, already climbing that high as he fingers you with those hands you love so much.

    “Remy,” You call for him breathlessly. “ m’ not gonna last too long.” Remy can't help himself any longer, and pulls you closer to catch you in a passionate kiss. He drags his teeth across your bottom lip, letting go of the plush skin. He doesn't withdraw his fingers until your thighs begin to shake and you start to clench down on him. You whine as he does so, barely holding your composure. Remy takes your hand off of his cock, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before gently dragging your hips further into his lap. Your mind is hazy, but you know to be careful as he lines himself up.

    “If we're going to do this, we're taking it my speed, okay?” You say. Remy nods, barely taking in the information. He was ready to be inside you. After weeks of nothing- all he could think about was you. Your giggles, your smiles. Your body. The way you taste on his tongue. The feeling of your thighs clenching around his head.  Remy would do anything you asked of him at this moment.

    You take it slow as you lower yourself down on his cock. The stretch of him feels delicious against your inner walls. Remy leans in, kissing and sucking on your breasts as you take your time. He bottoms out with a wet sound, his hands resting against your upper thighs.

    Remy curses as you begin to move, bouncing on his cock somewhat slowly. Even in the haze of your lust, you're worried about hurting him. Remy, on the other hand, doesn't share the same sentiment. His hands clench around your thighs, and when he can't seem to take the slow speed anymore, he slams you down onto him.

    You gasp at the action, and apologies spill from his lips as he tilts you forward, knocking your balance so you're forced to lean onto him as he controls the pace, eagerly thrusting into your heat. 

    “Remy-” Your protests are cut off with a kiss as your favorite scoundrel begins to take exactly what he wants. His grunts and moans beneath you send another trickle of warmth inside of you. To be honest, seeing him take control like this was hot- almost hot enough for you to forgive the fact that he was certainly overexerting himself- but it was hard to be mad at him when he's fucking you so good.

    One thing about Remy is that he's a talker in bed. If anything, you were surprised he was as “quiet” as he had been the majority of the time. But once he started to get closer to his peak, Remy began to ramble. 

    "You think you're smart? -Ah! Teasing me like that.. mmh… expecting me to just take it?" You're not really paying attention to his words, nodding in response while only thinking about his steady grip on your thighs and ass and the peak you're reaching so quickly. Remy squeezes you harder, almost harshly as he begins to take you faster. His hips begin to stutter, thrusts starting to do him in one by one. 

    Remy lets out a loud groan as he reaches his peak, burying himself deeply inside you and thumbing your clit. He continues to thrust as he helps you reach that white-hot peak of pleasure, pressing kisses to your temple as you ride it out on top of him. By the time you're both fully finished, you're panting for air. You're fully collapsed onto Remy's chest, Remy being absolutely boneless as he rests against the headboard. 

    “You’re such an idiot.” You say when you finally have enough sense. Remy just chuckles, continuing to press kisses to every part of your face and neck he can reach. You sigh happily as he does so, pressing some of your own kisses to his shoulder.

    When you finally peel yourself off of his chest, the first thing you check in on is his bandages. You scowl when you see that they've been soaked through with sweat, but more concerning is the spot of red that has started to form. You look up at Remy with narrowed eyes, and he quickly looks down as well, before looking back up at you and simply shrugging with a gleeful smile.

    “Casualty of love, Chère.”

#Sorry I actually lied by accident #But hurray! He came right on time ;) #x men 97 #x men #x men comics #x men 97 x reader #gambit #gambit x reader #remy lebeau #remy lebeau x reader #remy lebeau smut #remy lebeau imagine #remy lebeau headcannons #x men remy lebeau #gambit smut #gambit imagine #x men gambit #x men headcannons

[echantedtoon]

KNY Swap Au Ramblings

I've seen a lot of others make their own versions of a swap au and I wanted to create one too just for fun. None of this is cannon, and not everyone will be swapped out and it'll have my own twists on things. And have some things added for new story elements.

Most of the role swaps I've seen are usually with either Sanemi and Genya or Gyutaro and Ume replacing Nezuko and Tanjiro. Or the rolls are swapped with Tanjiro being the demon instead(personally my favorite interpretation of this is by @yuramec). But for this I'm swapping out the Kamado Siblings for the Tokito Twins. I won't go into depth about everyone but I will give important differences to the story.

WARNINGS: Mentioning of killing, death, lose of a child, etc.

EDIT: If you don't agree with any of the placements or head cannons that's fine. This is only my take on things.

PROLOGUE:

I'm swapping out Muzan for Kagaya for this purpose. Most of the story remains the same as it did in cannon with Muzan. Kagaya is born deathly ill, he's given the medicine made with the blue spider lily, however instead of killing said doctor out of anger Kagaya is completely overjoyed and taken by the doctor's success. He wants to make MORE medicine. He wants to give this to MORE people like himself! At first the doctor accepts this. He's excited for the success of his medical treatment. However something isn't right.

Kagaya is twisted by the medicine and it's effects on his body. He begins to crave human flesh as Cannon Muzan (who I will refer to as CM), however he sees it as a greater mercy to the masses. Why live such miserable lives when you can join him? Be a part of him? Death is a mercy. Life isn't. The doctor is appalled at the way the medicine twisted Kagaya into a far worse person. (His mindset would be a similar one to Cannon Douma. Seeing it as a mercy or better fate to become a part of something bigger for the greater good overall not really seeing his twisted thinking is only harming hundreds of others and not really caring believing the end goal is worth all the bloodshed to get there.) In a fit of frustration, he attempts to turn the doctor into a demon in order to force him to make more medicine after the doctor refuses to do anymore research disgusted by the results, however as he was still fairly new to making other demons, the doctor instead dies from the infected blood. Frustrated Kagaya attempts to make the next hundreds of years perfecting his technique and turning people into demons as 'sharing his gift'. The first few demons was his beloved wife Amane and their five children.

He attempted to turn the rest of his family into demons too but that did not go so well. (Apparently it's cannon that Kagaya used to have two younger brothers). As with the doctor his youngest brother's body didn't react to him changing and Kagaya accidentally ended up killing his youngest brother. His other younger brother and their father fled and went into hiding. His father later blamed himself heavily for all of the evil Kagaya does and takes his own life. Kagaya's brother later goes on to create the demon slayer corp in search of a way to stop him. Later down the line the Ubuyashiki name is lost and replaced by the last name Kibutsuji, their bloodline cursed due to creating the first demon progenitor.

KAGAYA UBUYASHIKI AND FAMILY AS DEMONS:

He sees his demons as 'beloved children' and as such sees what they do (eating humans, killing, etc) as nothing wrong and only as a means for survival and to spread his 'gift.' Don't underestimate him however. He may not rule by fear but his voice and mind is able to manipulate and soothe most demons into submission, and he is not afraid to use force if needed. Amane and their demon children are the ones that he allows to eat disobedient demons if they're hungry and he does so with a warm smile on his face. It puts the fear into anyone who sees it if they aren't already loyally following him. He is also crazily strong physically and mentally.

Desperately looking for both the blue spider lily and the Kibutsuji family. He doesn't want to kill Muzan and his family per say. Merely to put a endless mercy to his beloved little brother's family's torment and free his own 'children' from theirs. Whether it be by turning them or by 'sending them to heaven' he hasn't decided yet. Created the Infinity Castle as a safe haven for his newly turned family and any demon deciding to live there.

Amane is his beloved spouse and is actually the one who controls the Infinity Castle in place of Nakime, and constantly rotates it keeping track of their children. She usually just blinks and any demon her husband wants is immediately teleported to them. Their children are absolutely NOT allowed to leave the Infinity Castle. AT ALL. 

He created the twelve Kizuki as a way to reward his most obedient 'children' and as extra protection for himself and his family. The lower three moons are usually killed off not by him but usually by Sanemi in anger or by slayers. Otherwise he has no problem with how the Kizuki interact. Although his favorite is Yoriichi who happens to be Upper Moon One, and his most loyal and powerful demon.  He usually doesn't have any trouble blending into society Thanks to his personality but he still eats, kills, and makes demons. 

UPPER MOON ONE YORIICHI:

This one's sorta obvious but also an idea I haven't seen explored too often also he's not as OP as he is in cannon. Essentially everything proceeds to happen with Yoriichi the same as in cannon. I mean everything is the same except for Uta's death. As Yoriichi is late to getting back to Uta and their unborn child, Uta unexpectedly went into early labor losing the child and her own life due to complications. Unfortunately Yoriichi arrived a little too late and was devastated by the discovery of his family, but as the causes of death was natural instead of by the hands of a demon, Yoriichi does not develop the hatred for demons he has within the normal timeline. Yoriichi still buries Uta in the mountains where the blue spider lily grows unknown to everyone, and leaves to wonder aimlessly until coming across one of the strongest demon slayers at the time battling a powerful demon. Being the kind person he is Yoriichi helps him with his own sword skills where afterwards the slayer is impressed with Yoriichi's skills and invites him to join the corps. Without the drive of hatred for demons, Yoriichi decides to join instead for a desire to help others and a place of belongings. From there everything also continues as in cannon. Yoriichi meets Tanjiro's ancestors saving them from a demon and becoming good enough friends to teach the Hinakami Kagura dance, and gifts them his earrings as a keepsake. He still comes across Michikatsu and everything continues as it was.

Michikatsu's own story proceeds the same without much change. His entire backstory up to this point does not change in the slightest. His pride, his jealousy, his drive. All of it remains the same. The only real difference is when Yoriichi and Kagaya happens to accidentally come across face to face. 

Because of the real driving hatred of demons Yoriichi would've previously had, and Kagaya's own nature, it would inevitably end up differently. Kagaya's compliments of his strength and the genuinity of his compliments and kindness has Yoriichi confused. He was different than all the regular blood thirsty demons that he usually killed, so why was this so.. Different. His hesitation and confusion leaves Kagaya with an opening to explain himself and to explain his twisted 'help' and Yoriichi finds himself entranced. Kagaya's talks leads the two to genuinely bond over their own personal losses and lives and Yoriichi finds himself oddly at peace listening to the Demon King's words. What if he was right? What if this new medicine could've prevented Uta from dying and had made it possible for their child to survive? What if his mother could've also been spared such a tragic fate? What if this entire tragedy could've been prevented? 

Kagaya genuinely likes Yoriichi's personality and genuine drive of the same goals he has. Sure he manipulates him a little bit but in the end it's 'for the greater good for everyone'. So when he offers the haishira his blood, Yoriichi only needs a few minutes to think it over before accepting. Yoriichi as Upper Moon One is stoic, distant. Barely speaks. Somewhat twisted by the blood in his veins. He's been rejected and cast aside for so long and been dealt so much grief that it was easy for him to follow Kagaya. He has a place now, with a purpose. A GOOD purpose. He loves playing with the Ubuyashiki quintuplets and gets along with most of the other Kizuki, although during his long reign as a demon he's become numb to most feelings making him a ruthless asset on the battle field for Kagaya's purpose. 

His one regret is Michikatsu. 

Michikatsu's reaction to his brother ascension to a demon was rather mixed to say the least. He's angry. Enraged that his brother had not only gotten stronger, but was just handed that power essentially without even working for it as he had. (Context for that see @lavenderdrxp's character analysis of Kokushibo/Michikatsu's work ethics and character drive for this next bit.)  Not to be out done, not to be bested by his brother anymore, not to allow his work to be undermined- He rejects Yoriichi's offer to join him in serving Kagaya disgusted by the thought of joining only to never surpass him for eternity and have the proof constantly living with him. So he rejects Yoriichi's offer, opting to try and kill his brother instead. It ends with Yoriichi killing his brother in battle. The death of his (for now) only remaining family member drives Yoriichi further into his emotionless state. 

His prized possession is the flute Michikatsu gifted him which he carries with him. He fights using his sun breathing techniques and making six swords with his arms. After being changed into a demon, Yoriichi's body suffered some permanent damage from the side effects of Kagaya having problems creating demons. To make up for this, Kagaya gifted him six arms to replicate the movements he once originally had. In similarity to Yoriichi Type Zero.

UPPER MOON TWO GYOMEI: 

Most powerful Haishira becomes second most powerful demon. Gyomei runs a (cult-) refuge in the same way Cannon Douma does, the only difference is that he actually believes what he teaches, deeply believes in Kagaya, and believes sending the helpless people that flock to him to 'Eternal Paradise' actually helps them and spares them from their tragic lives.

He fights using stone manipulation demon arts similar to Cannon Douma's ice manipulation abilities.

UPPER MOON THREE MITSURI:

Not much to say about upper three. She's very strong and flexible and uses the strength to claw her way up the ranks to just under Gyomei who she couldn't bring herself to challenge because he's too nice to fight for Upper Two. She was changed after running away from home and striking a friendship with a snake demon. Obanai changed Mitsuri out of greed and selfishness. Mitsuri clawed her way up the ranks because she heard that she could get more attention from demons and slayers if she was an upper rank. Originally joined Upper Ranks looking for a husband.... Obanai is still sitting in the sidelines trying to get her attention back on him.

Her demon arts are similar to Akaza's that she fights using physical strength and reflexes, but she can also use a charming affect to lure in prey.

UPPER MOON FOUR SANEMI:

Scary. Very, very, VERY scary. But also very protective of his younger demon brother Genya whom doesn't remember his life before becoming a demon. Sanemi and Genya were the only survivors after their own mother was turned into a demon and slaughtered their own family. Their entire life was pretty much the same until Sanemi just so happened to run into the demon king Kagaya. The king felt sorry for the two brothers and forcibly turned them both so neither could be separated again. Sanemi doesn't remember much of his human life except for the love and protectiveness he feels for his brother. Extremely loyal to Kagaya and and hot tempered. Physically wrestled Tengen out of Upper Four and wouldn't let him go until he agreed to give him the placement of Upper Moon four. The only two people who he'll listen to is Kagaya and Gyomei. Although he respects Kanae. Constantly starting fights with the lower moons and weeding out the ones he doesn't think is worthy no matter how much Kagaya and Gyomei scold him.

He uses Air blood demon arts in a similar fashion to Karaku.

UPPER MOON FIVE TENGEN:

Not much to say about him. Kagaya found him depressed after leaving his father and remaining brother after being forced to fight to the death with his other siblings.  It did not take much convincing to change him. Demon Tengen changed his three wives and forcibly changed his best friend Rengoku. Is scared of Sanemi after the air demon physically held him down and forced him to give up his previous place as Upper Moon Three. Best friends with Rengoku.

Tengen fights in both numbers with his wives in ambush style attacks and by sound baced demon arts such as Urogi's screech abilities and using sounds to distract, destroy, or decoy his enemies.

UPPER MOON SIX RENGOKU:

Not much to say about this demon. He was actually forcibly turned by Tengen and doesn't remember too much about his previous life although he has glimpses of a woman who's kind with red eyes and a little flamed haired boy that looks like him sorta. Much of Rengokus positive attitude is still present but as a demon it's toxic positivity only contributing to Kagaya's toxic 'merciful' agenda. He currently is content with his place as Upper Five and gets along with most of the others. Although he has to stop Sanemi and Tengen from fighting a lot as Tengen likes to tease others. 

His blood demon arts is fire based which is why he usually doesn't leave shelter if it rains or go places where water is present. Making his abilities limited.

DEMON KANAE AND SHINOBU:

The real powerful demon is Kanae who shares it with her sister Shinobu. To be honest no one is really sure where they came from or how Lord Kagaya found them. He just introduced the demonic butterfly duo one day to the rest of the Kizuki and placed them in with the others. Kanae is the much kinder of the two sisters and believes that not all slayers are bad. Shinobu heavily disagrees with that sentiment and prefers to poison her victims slowly with a smile. The sisters have two younger butterfly demons, Aoi and Kanao, and together the four of them run a laboratory for Lord Kagaya in his research of his specialized blood. They also have three small helper girls that they took in out of pity. The three butterfly girls often can be found playing with the Ubuyashiki quintuplets in the Infinity Castle.

Similar to how Cannon Nakime didn't have an official number in the Kizuki ranks despite considered a part of it, the sisters are considered part of the official Kizuki despite having an official number. It's rare that they are in fights usually spending their time doing research, but the sisters can use flying attacks, poison, flying petals sharp enough to be blades.

LOWER MOON ONE GIYUU:

Like the sisters, not much is known about where the most powerful Lower Moon originated from. Lord Kagaya brought him back and he's been tailing after his approval since. His is mostly an outcast by choice being very quiet and reserved but Shinobu likes talking to him and Mitsuri, Gyomei, and Rengoku go out of their way to be polite to him unlike Obanai and Sanemi who openly detest his presence. Yoriichi likes him well enough though. Both are quiet and don't talk too much. He finds Giyuu's character and presence similar to his own and thus likes him.

Giyuu's blood demon arts are water manipulation similar to Sanemi's wind manipulation but because of waters flexibility he's can do much more with it. A reason why Sanemi hates him and why Rengoku keeps his distance.

DEMON OBANAI:

Similar to the Butterfly sisters, Obanai doesn't really have an official number despite being considered a part of the Kizuki.  Is the one to forcibly turned Mitsuri. After meeting the girl and starting a friendship with her (at the time she was engaged and he respected that despite not liking her fiance) , he eventually fell in love with her and forcibly changed her after her deadbeat fiance dumped her later eating him in retaliation. Obanai himself was changed by the very snake demon that killed the rest of his human family although he really doesn't remember, however he has a general dislike for most women he can't explain. Usually he just lounges around waiting for prey to ambush.

His blood arts are unique. He's able to fling sharpened scales from his serpent tail, contrict his victims, poison them, shoot darts of venom from his mouth, and a series of ambush snake strikes to take down his prey 

LOWER MOON TWO RUI:

One of the ones I didn't swap out. In a similar fashion to Muzan, Kagaya gave RUI some of his blood and allowed him to remake his own family out of pity from his own mortal life. Not really much changes  except for who kills Rui later.

TAMAYO AND YUSHIRO:

Again nothing really changes with them too much. Kagaya originally was interested in Tamayo's abilities as a doctor nevermind the fact her family tragically was killed by his own demons. Tamayo was one of the rare demons who remembered her human life and saw right through Kagaya's twisted justice agenda. She was able to mentally break free from his hold after Yoriichi's encounter with Michikatsu and witnessing the strength and driving force the Moon Haishira had endured to withstand against him.

The story from there continues as normally.

That's it for now. Might do a second drabble with the SWAP Haishira if anyone's interested in hearing more about this.

#kny swap au #giyuu tomioka #shinobu kocho #kanae kocho #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kagaya ubuyashiki #yoriichi tsugikuni #tengen uzui #rengoku kyojuro #mitsuri kanroji #sanemi shinaguzawa #gyomei himejima #obanai iguro #tamayo #yushiro #tsugikuni michikatsu #rui ayaki #Haishira #twelve kizuki

[t0ast-ghost]

S2 episode 21 (Patterns Of Force) I just finished a really big performance and this is my little treat.

On with it:

- What is McCoy already doing on the bridge? “I don’t know, Bones.”

- Remembering I need subtitles cause they started saying nonsense words

- A sub-a-what-ius transponder? What do you want Bones to make? I literally do not understand half the things they say

- OMG SPOCK IN A HAT!

- I’m so normal about Spock in a sweater… so normal

- Oh this is the nazi episode

- I’m so out of it cause I got bloodwork done and so watching THIS episode is gonna be an experience. Also as I wrote this I heard the singular line of, “You look quite well for a man that’s been utterly destroyed, Mr. Spock.”

- Spock is confused by Kirk’s banter for a second and then once he realizes it’s a joke he looks back at the screen and does a little (McCoy) bounce

- JOHN GILL IS?!? What

- This is disturbing

- “you should make a very convincing nazi.” WHAT?!? Why would you say that-

- This continues to be disturbing

- Spock’s done, he does not give a shit as he removes the helmet to reveal messed up hair

- The fuck is happening

- I don’t want to comment on it right now. But. Shirtless…

- You can taste the sass

- Spock’s got a real :[ look on his face

- Kirk just tearing up the bed frame with Spock.. no not in that way! You see cause they’re escaping with the transponders

- “I would require some sort of platform.” “I would be honoured, Mr. Spock.” They didn’t even think for a second about using the bed… not even a second

- SPOCK GET OFF HIS BACK

- the “oh, my goodness.” From Kirk lmao

- Jim is a good pickpocket.. fanfic writers here’s your food

- The fact that their disguises work… again

- “Now we finish the job.” She walks towards him with a gun like it’s not long range

- As soon as Kirk starts introducing himself and Spock, Spock straightens his posture and puts his hand behind his back, like awwwe

- Spock is understanding gambling, McCoy will be thrilled (they’ll get to play poker together)

- Are they “weekend at Bernie” -ing John Gill?

- “We need McCoy.” Yeah you do, kirk

- Damn McCoy gets to dress up ONE TIME and it’s as a NAZI?!?

- McCoy complaining about shoe sizes and Spock going “This is how you do it, shut the fuck up and push. We don’t have time for your emotionalism (dramatic bullshit).” Kirk is smiling at them both

- They immediately get guns pointed at them

- Jim, don’t make McCoy commit more medical malpractice for you

- McCoy’s got a gun

- “The planet fragmented.. divided.” SO YOU REMADE THE NAZIS?!?

- wait wait wait… so there’s an actual reason he did this? He wasn’t forced or controlled in some way? No. What the fuck.

- Kirk sends McCoy to “stay close to Spock.”

- When Melakon insults Spock, McCoy looks so fucking furious in the background (like sir you do this to him daily)

- “I was wrong.” NO SHIT GILL

- McCoy: Now Spock, you obviously don’t under-

Spock: Obviously, Doctor, you fail to accept-

Kirk: Gentlemen, we’ve just been through one civil war. Let’s not start another.

Kirk was right to stop them there. They would’ve been at it for weeks.

Masterpost

Episode written by John Meredyth Lucas

#star trek #star trek tos #star trek the original series #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #tos spock #leonard bones mccoy #tos mccoy #tos bones #captain james kirk #tos kirk

[tj-crochets]

Went to the doctor just for a check up and he basically just told me "your body just processes sugar very well! :) :) :) It's a good thing! :) :) :) It can't possibly be the source of your symptoms even though eating fixes it :) :) :)" But there was also a moment when talking about my iron deficiency that is possibly one of the funniest things a doctor has ever said to me, up with the cardiologist who said "you're a medical mystery": He was going over my blood test results, and said "Your iron levels haven't gone up at all, they are still extremely low, but you're not anemic anymore" And I was like how am I not anemic anymore??? And he said "Your hemoglobin levels have gone up...somehow..." while frowning at the blood test results on his computer. It was very "somehow, palpatine has returned" lol

#the person behind the yarn #medical mention #food mention #he did at one point say the iron issue is probably an absorption issue #which. give this is either my third or my sixth absorption issue (depending on if you count electrolytes) #I'm not exactly surprised but I'm also not thrilled #at some point it stops being 'your body is very good at processing' and starts being #'your body just yeets all nutrients out of it!' #I am on two different medications to make me retain salt more #like. one that is 100% the entire reason I take that med #one that that's a side effect of that med strong enough they thought I shouldn't take both together #until they did bloodwork to check (and found it was appropriate to take both) #and I STILL need a RIDICULOUS amount of salt #and sometimes! even with two different meds and like four different kinds of salt pills! I straight up do not retain salt! #I get super dehydrated and cannot fix it for days! #and I am more tired of it than I perhaps realized #just real tired of doctors going 'your body is just so efficient at processing :) :) :)' #I am already doing all the low blood sugar things. smaller more frequent meals lots of protein lots of complex carbs #not looking for advice just wanted to share the 'somehow...your hemoglobin has gone up' #because I do genuinely find that really funny

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me

#“no need for follow up” #“yeah you did have several cysts we scrapped off your remaining ovary but. dw about it. idk why they were there. dw about it. oh also your #ovary on that side was freakishly huge but. dw about it. it might go away. dw about it #*doctor shrug emoji* “ #“go see a gyno next year maybe. but not me im too important for that. go find and onboard a gyno to your situation. next year maybe idk lol” #he barely even looked at my incision like #this fucking appointment could have been an email. or a phone call. or they just could have let me start driving again. also i forgot to ask #if i can stop drinking ensure now or after the 6 weeks? cause that shit cost $$$$. but he probably would have been super unhelpful if i had #fr fr this guy only wanted to give me the time of day when he thought i might have fun cancer inside and now he's like gtfo!!!! get your #fugly cancerless ass out of here!!!! recover from a major surgery on your own you swagless cancerless loser 🤣 we arent helping your #swagless ass!!! #anyway it seems weird and fucked up that im was never offered to see a physical therapist and i guess am going to have to blindly trust my #abs they sliced thru are healing or whatever and to rawdog my own physical recovery of my muscles? even just dumb shit like. my center of #gravity has drastically changed since the mass removal and my back hurts like shit all the time because all my posture muscles were built up #for when i had an extra 30 pounds of cyst hanging in the front and my posture and walking reflected that. and i lowkey don't know how #hard i am able to be with my healing incision because its really tight and makes me hunch forwards still. like i would really like to know #how much i can safely or maybe should be forcing my skin and incision to stretch. without damage? is that crazy #am i crazy??? #this shit is why i didnt see a doctor for 2 years until my problems had snowballed into a 30 pounds ovarian cyst that was crushing my other #organs and had one of my kidneys all backed up with piss. and even getting emergency treatment for it everyone was like. how did you like it #get this bad?? how could you not know you needed to seek medical treatment???? like. bro. seeking medical treatment isnt even a guarantee to #get medical treatment. #anyway he said my “remaining ovary seemed low key polycystic but dw about it. don't quote me on that im not dealing with it.” #bro i dont want to doctor google it i wanted an actual doctor to deal with it. fuck you. #like. maybe even a doctor who knows my situation so i dont have to struggle with getting someone to believe me and take me seriously. #but whatever. back to trying to figure out the daily protein and extra calories my body needs for recovery via doctor google i guess. #its fine 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬

[quietwingsinthesky]

thinks about the master calling susan ‘my dear’ when she’s barely taller than his knee and he’s looking after her for the doctor or her parents. thinks about the master calling susan ‘my dear’ when she’s older and he’s willing to put her in danger to force the doctor to do what he wants. gets ill.

#it’s about the continuity it’s about a pet name still being used when he intends to put her in harm’s way to get what he wants #there’s also something about. he does offer to let the doctor come with him after he takes the doctor’s tardis. and i have to imagine he was #including susan in that offer. because he knows the doctor wouldn’t leave her. so. so. #he both fully put her in mortal danger and was going to take her away from it once he got what he wanted. and i dont know! its compelling to #me! i think that offer’s a genuine one! #because it’s more interesting to me analyzing their relationship if it is. if he is both willing to hurt her and to tell himself he’ll be #taking her and the doctor to safety afterwards anyway once the doctor stops being so stubborn and gives up his tardis. so it’s fine.

[spoonitup221]

Praying that I can get some kind of diagnosis this year. I feel like every week month or year I get less close to finding a diagnosis and farther away from getting treatment, so what’s the point? What can I do but give up and manage the pain myself or go by my doctors word who spent less than 2 hours in medical school learning about my condition and my episodes whereas I have been living with this my entire life? There’s nothing I can do but keep pushing but I’m just so tired of pushing it. I just want closure, I just want help, I just want accessibility, I just want to feel better, and it sucks knowing that I can’t have one of these without losing the other. This sucks and disabled people and chronic illness people and everyone dealing with this is so strong and I’m so proud of them.

#Chronic illness #potsie #pots syndrome #POTS #hEDs #Elhers-Danlos syndrome #Disabled #actually disabled #cripple punk #ambulatory cane user #im so done #i just want to give up #What’s stopping me from not going to my doctors appointments? Nothing. #What would I even lose from it? #Vent

[hauntingblue]

I forgot how fucking hard it hits when nami just goes back to the town after her berries get stolen and just all cheery says she is going to make them again do not worry. Jesus

#in coco village i mean #like that is so real #going back to being abused lying to yourself ever if you know its pointless because you want to protect something. STOP THE NAMI SLANDER #god. #that was so real #i miss this in the kive action like okay she gets it stolen but she puts the facade again and goes to do it again and then she breaks down #knowing they cant win so its lose lose whatever she does #but luffy is there!!! #its so raw #i was like oh fucking fillers... i am eating them up #see. another life fixed by doctor luffy #best psychologist in the east blue and grand line #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 281 #again. believe in luffy he wont let you down #<- i am very tempted to make a post about luffy being a god symbol but i need to get to gear 5 to prove my pont even further. #give me a few months lmao

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Didn't even make it til 10AM without sobbing at my desk this time.

#overachiever to the max #less than an hour at work? Time to SOB! #I fucked up an interaction with my doctor cuz they can't read and I can't pretend to be a sane normal human for two seconds #so I said #Hey the anti anxiety med you prescribed works really well and I do still have several left #but I don't want to be anxious about #like rationing them for fear that I won't get more so can we set it up as a recurring prescription like we had discussed? #and she said “I'm so glad it's working well for you! Happy holidays!” #so I said “Thank you. So if I need a refill do I call or?” #and she said “You can always call our office!” #so I called the office to clarify and immediately burst into tears because I am a disaster who hasn't stopped crying for three days #and they were like “do you... want a refill?” and I blubbered something about just needing to know that I CAN get a refill if/when I need t #so they are going to “Check with the doctor and let me know” #which means that she's going to find out I'm crazy #which probably means she won't give me these again #which means I have 12 to make last for the rest of time because I'm a fucking idiot and broke one trying to half it and it just shattered #because I can't even take pills correctly apparently #also found out yesterday I don't even take BATHS correctly like #jesus christ #can I please for the love of god have one single aspect of my life where I do something right #and am not just a fucked up disaster mess

[ezraphobicsoup]

do i rewatch the full rtgame persona 5 royal twitch vods. or do i not risk such a procrastinating productivity-destroying category 6 autism event

#tough decisions really #tbh i don’t know if i have the brain space for it currently because i am still good omensing a fair bit #(very good very very good media i enjoy a lot) #god just thinking about it there will come a day when i doctor who in full force with internet access #that is a dangerous day yet i do not fear it #as an unrelated update on my life which i don’t know if you want to hear or not #the covid is going a bit better i’m not in as much pain tonight but throughout the day it was quite ow #but who knew that paracetamol actually helps the pain go away??? #right ok i’m gonna stop now these words don’t feel right and i’m gonna attempt to do work to make myself give up and sleep (ideally!) #take care and good (night) folk(s) (if more than one person sees this i will be minorly flabbergasted but it does happen on occasion)

[adlibitur]

--

#it's fine i'm just having another meltdown about surgical menopause #this is hell this is hell this is hell this is evil hell i cannot over state how this without informed consent makes me wanna die #i would never have agreed to this if there was informed consent and the doctor even put he didn't know about surgical menopause in the chart #when i grilled him after and told him i never would have agreed with i formed consent and he REALLY SAID THAT INFO DIDNT EXIST #my voice is stuck like this my teeth are going bad my bones are degenerating and so is my brain i just want to lay down and cry #there's nothing i can do about this and this is what im stuck with as my life now #i would give an arm and a leg to extend colorados medical malpractice statutes of limitations theyre so short #i seriously would pursue legal action against this doctor #nothing would make up for this though i constantly feel like screaming and being absolutely violent because i don't know what to do with #how upset i am maybe i should go to a wreck it room or something lmao i simply do not know i'm just trying #trying not to take it out on myself even though i want to #if i start i won't stop and that's a deep hole i don't think i could get out of if i do #which is why im avoiding it as much as possible #it's called ptsd sweaty

[jasonsthunderthighs]

From three in the mornin till my roommate left at seven, I've been throwin up, as I lay down in the bottom of the tub, sufferin in the shower and would turn on the hot water to help and then pour cold water on my head to “equal” it out.

So happy that the water heater is really fast, since I'd use all the hot water and turn it off when it got too cold and would try to sleep a little bit in the tub as the heater goes off in the bathroom.

Literally a full imagine of me, sufferin in the bottom of the tub, just wantin to sleep or at least just die in my sleep.

I'd throw up whatever is in my stomach and blood till my throat got soar from throwin up for literally four hours.

THAT'S not the last of my physical health problems, but it's sure as fuck the worst out of what I have to deal with. (But that's for another post and I'm already so drained from today and all of this week of what has happened. Scratch that. Make it the past two fuckin years.)

#my throat is sore #throwin up is NOT the best feelin in the world and I'm surprised my teeth haven't rotten out yet from the stomach acid I'm throwin back up #I'm NOT goin to go to the doctor's. They already fucked me over on Monday this week and I HATE the medical staff #I might just stop smokin cigarettes and weed to #just to see what happens #I might have Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) just like my twin from smokin too much #UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH #but I don't WANT to give up weed #I'm just losin more and more weight cause of it too and I'm just so damn tired all the time #I just want to sleep #sleep forever #not sorry for the rant in the tags #personal #not DC #not DC related