#i want to go on a hike like this so bad

[bloodstainsontengensfloor]

So my family used to go to Montauk every summer…

Throwback to the summer after I read The PJO/HOO universe, where I smuggled all of my percy jackson books in my duffel bag with my clothes and a BRICK I stole from my grandma’s front lawn with the intention of finding Camp Halfblood and throwing the brick at Jason Grace.

#percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #riordanverse #jason grace #Jason grace x brick #you don’t understand I was so determined #i wanted to make my dad walk down all the way to Long Island sound from the beaches of Montauk #i was like I can see it from here we are so close #i was like we should go hiking this year #my sister: I dont want Tics. #okay but what if we found camp halfblood #i really wanted to throw the brick at Jason grace #i was such a Jason grace hater as a 12 year old #feel bad now rip #hunters of artemis #i wanted to be a hunter of Artemis so badly #i was a closeted lesbian

[northern-passage]

i think the hardest thing for me to write is endings.... which makes sense since i've never written any 💀 

#one day hike the only thing i've ever finished loool #and that ending makes me cringe. the one in this first draft i just wrote also makes me cringe #and i've almost finished another project but. i dont know if im finished actually cus idk how i want it to end #im stuck on this chapter bc i Could just end it. but i cant tell if it feels right to end it there #or i could keep going. but then i dont really know what to do lmfao #and tnp isnt ending for like 500 years so that's a problem for future me #i just want it to hit right... i dont want it to feel disappointing or too abrupt #sigh. sigh sigh sigh #also trying to get inspiration is like pulling teeth lately nothing i watch or read is really hitting #read a novella that was super hyped up and it was SOOOO disappointing!! i wanted to like it so bad... rip #anyone with extreme horror recs (preferably written by women) pls... hmu im dying

[girlvinland]

I have my first actual date date with a woman next weekend (that isn’t just like. Friends hanging out and it being that weird space in-between/where there’s some intimacy but you’re not really a thing lol idk iykyk).

For the record, I’m still not really wanting to like, start up some new long-term thing right now, but I really wanted to meet people and put myself out there/practice dating after so long and everything, especially since aspects of this are new to me and I want to learn to do the pursuing rather than just waiting around for someone to pursue me. I feel like it will be good to build up my confidence with stuff like that.

But yeah, this girl has been really cool to talk to, so I just went for it and asked her, and now we have plans next Saturday! I feel proud of myself and excited to hang out with her.

#by bug #they are also active plans which #I’m happy to finally go on a date that isn’t like. sushi. movie. home. #not that those times were bad but it gets I guess. repetitive #I was thinking back to when I started dating my ex and I was always trying to come up with fun ideas so it wasn’t just #the same thing every time #like let’s go hiking let’s go to the zoo let’s go to the museum #the best date I’ve ever had was a nine hour hike to the top of Humphrey’s Peak #followed by massive hamburgers #honestly that was one of the best days of my life #that’s the kind of stuff I want to do more of #not a diss on getting yummy chirashi bc I do love that too but still #I think I really just prefer active dates or dates where I get to learn something #so it is a plus if someone else likes those things too

[alangdorf]

Oh ya speaking of sewing. Updates to old projects I forgot to post: new blouse & apron for the dirndl, and I added a smocked panel + some barely visible blue embroidery at the hem to Ephy’s pink dress

#sewing #dirndl #elfilin #I made the new blouse and apron like over a year ago LOL #I had originally wanted to make them out of eyelet cotton but got cotton gauze when I was buying materials because it was way cheaper #Mistake. Turns out I hate that stuff and it’s soooo bad for poofy sleeves #and I didn’t finish my edges all that great so I was scared it would disintegrate if I ever tried to wash it #so last summer I finally got some eyelet cotton and remade them #I think I never posted the finished Ephy dress because I wanted to also make a bow to go with it #haven’t done that yet though and it’s been awhile #I’m not sure how easily I’ll be able to wear the dirndl again nowadays without remaking the blouse again (for reasons) #but I did get to wear it on our honeymoon!! we went to a little German-themed touristy town and had a fancy dinner and went shopping #we also did hiking and an amusement park. and Pokémon go #and a lot of driving lol #also yes that smocking is incredibly tiny #I wasn’t sure it would even be physically possible at that size but it worked out yippee!!

[rox-of-iu]

me + mayhem going on a stupid silly hike for my stupid silly mental health

touched grass and i am normal again (lying)

#i will get back to drawing soon let me just sleep for a few years shdjhkfds #anyway photo credit to mayhem again i cant take pictures to save my life lol #btw the caption is obvs reference to that one hike video tiktok i think so credit to that also its not my joke #anywqay it was nice did help me a little bit #been feeling a bit down due to some personal problems ykno #and also due to not being accepted into a med uni I rly wanted to (but didn't put enough effort I'll confess) and that almost no one getsin #but i was only missing one point o(-( i was the first in line outside the capacity limit hasjkdhsahd #even tho my brain is rly small for it lets be real hfjsdfhksd but like hhsdjhshdjkhd those biches at physiotherapy baited me hdsjd #mqf i have failed you lol #also i have accidentaly gotten back into one piece as I do for like two weeks periodically every few months or so dhjsdhk #so im revisiting my olde blorbo trafalgar which is just reminding me of a fact that this was one of the fuckers my itty bitty young self - #- wanted to pursue medicine beacause of lmaoooo #bad timing one piece fixation!! bad bad!! sdhhdjshdjakshd #whatevrrr whatevr whatevr io dotn care! enough of that hahhskj #but hey as some of u may remeber im czech so haa whats up with the mountains right since we are very cute and 'down to earth' state hahaha #its cuz its actually from austria :)) #we went hiking there since theyre co by kamenem dohodil as they say #fuck english has the exactly same saying im moron that ruins my whole thing hjdsk 'a stone's throw away' whatever ignore that ig hahhah #so yeah very beautiful very powerful go touch some grass lads #also they are not stones throw away i was lying but close enough- #also random czechs stop jumpscaring me in other countries challenge why was there so many of us horrible horrible horrible

[probayern]

damn i'm realizing that i've really made it basically impossible for myself to watch a whole bayern match until. october. do i hate myself subconsciously or something

#i COULD watch next weekend's but i wish it weren't the topspiel #because my best friend is visiting so i'd feel bad being like... let's stay at home until 1:30 because i want to watch football #but maybe he'll want to watch or go on a run or something. we'll see #and i have therapy on fridays so i'll miss the first half of the leverkusen game #unless i move therapy which i might bc i REALLY want to see how we do against leverkusen #then i'm on a plane during the bochum match :( #and on a road trip w my family for the whole of the next week #so definitely missing the first pokal match bc i'll be hiking in the mountains somewhere #possibly i could watch leipzig in the car IF there's reception #oh fuck and then i'm at a wedding the weekend after so i'll also be in a car during freiburg #fuck me i will not be able to normally watch a bayern match until october 21 😭 #bc the ucl matches are also always inconvenient lol #i hate when they always make us the sunday game or the topspiel let us play the early saturday kickoff! #anyway. this is way too much detail about my life. i'm just complaining #bella things

[antigonescholar]

i think after i finish final exams i really need to rebuild myself in terms of self care & confidence.....been feeling very broken down for abt a month

#weight mention tw #but like #ive dropped a lot of weight in the past month & im back to feeling weak & skinny & mildly sick all the time....the burnout curse #i want to gain that weight back so bad & have the energy to go to the gym/dance studio again #& i wanna cut my hair & get a new piercing or tattoo as well! like i just wanna do something totally for myself #law school is so important to me but sometimes it just crushes every other aspect of my identity :/ #okay after finals. who wants to do soul-enriching things with mee #i want to paint i want to hike i want to get high & eat a cheese board #etc

[thehardkandy]

Travelling back home tomorrow hoping for a smooth groove

#i did have a really nice week last week but now im back to everything feeling busy #(its not really that busy) #and oh i miss being slow like idk ever since i was a literal child doing ONE excursion weekly #for an hour #always felt like such s draining burden #and tbh i would like to know why thst is because while it's easy to see as poor habit as an adult reinforcing itself #as a kid i was always made to do things. see people. #i did a summer camp every year at least during the day #i did sports i went hiking in forests #but i remember so distinctly like an age where i stopped asking my parents to try new things #because i would get so excited!!!! but then every week it would become this overwhelming presence #despite being something that i actively enjoyed #and it eventually felt so awful i was like okay no more wanting things you dont use them wisely #like ouch yeah actually that's a big one. wanting things usually wraps back #around to shame or guilt just about always #anyway how is this relevant to travelling? #it's just that i have to travel tomorrow and i have a doctors appointment Friday i have to go to in person #ive changed beds ive slept in 3 times in 5 days #and all i can say at the end of it is that even these little things are JUST enough to be on edge #to feel like im putting my hands over my ears and closing my eyes and pretend nothing bad is gonna happen #even thougu DEFINITELY something bad is going to happen #but of course it doesnt because this is all benign stuff ive done a trillion times before of no note #crazy how complicated it can be to be a person #it is why i dream of living in a small village where i am an apprentice tradesperson and i live simple house #and the house you can walk to anywhere you need to anywhere you need in an your #but no one is that urgent about anything anyway. #beautiful little place that has never actually ever existed for anyone in anytime #but i am still wanting to scream and pull my hair out just asking why why cant everything slow down and be smaller

[chickenisamazing]

This is the first time I've gained weight during Ramadan

#T #I've actually gained so much weight since December it's really bad #I've done no exercise I've gone on exactly one (1) hike this year #I'm the heaviest I've ever been #I'm short of breath going up the stairs #I'm not too mad about the Ramadan weight as long as I can lose it after Eid #It simultaneously feels weird and normal at the same time #I feel like me and not like me #I mean look gaining weight is kinda working I haven't been very hungry #Though isn't part of the point of fasting to feel that hunger a little bit #I think the reason is that I've actually been eating a proper suhoor #Usually I don't eat much for suhoor bc I hate eating in the mornings #But I've been eating a lot #Bc I want my brain to be working in the evenings while I'm at work #(Though often it still doesn't work)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#listen. sometimes. when i get emails pertaining to a specific project i worked on that nearly broke my brain. i just stop what im doing #and start playing Losing My Religion by REM. and i wish the person emailing me could see me face down at a table listening to thay song #mostly its fine. its just when someones trying to manage the data files so i kno im gonna have to go back thru and update my code #for a bunch of tiny stuff and its like: does this sound ok? and i just dont care so much that i want to start screaming #and then at the end of the day i hike up a fucking mountain going over what im gonna tell a therapist when my insurance switches #and im gonna say it in a way thats v calm and agreeable but i want to scream and tear my hair out. or maybe i wont b agreeable. i wasnt #last time i was in a therapist office but that guy deserved it and i wasn't being that bad #ugh. im just mad bc working on my stuff makes me so miserable that when i stop its like wow im no longer in agony. cool #coool. fun times. becoming increasingly apprehensive abt how im gonna try to b more healthy abt working while taking on triple #the responsibility with a phd project and being a student and being a TA. i mean. ill try but its gonna b fucking interesting #ugh. had to bust out the burnout playlist. which like. when u try to look at other ppls burnout playlists they all suck #theyre all like former gifted kid burnout Playlists and im like fuckkk offfff. why do u not have the incredibly specific vibes that im #looking for? i just demand the perfect burnout playlist and somehow nobody puts No Surprises on there #like what??? y not? its a song abt being so totally saturated that youve had enough. a heart thats full up like a landfill. a job that #slowly kills u. bruises that wont heal. how is it not THE burnout song? but whatever. i listen to too much radi0head. #ugh. but now my burnout playlist is becoming too much like my My Brain Doesnt Feel Too Good playlist #listen. i just need to curate playlist so that they can express the feelings for me #unrelated

[random2908]

I started by telling myself I shouldn't feel bad that I didn't get all my planned chores done: Saturday is a rest day, and we've just finished three weeks of crunch at work. (Next week might also be crunch but probably not; the product ships at the end of the week but we should be in good enough shape already.)

But then I realized: I ran three errands in the morning, and did three chores in the evening--even if one of the chores was just "cook a healthy dinner" and two of the chores were banking-related on a website. (But one involved sending text messages, and one involved an actual phone call to customer service, so I can't even really say they were just on a website.) That's six things I got done on a rest day. I may have overscheduled by saying I'd do at least eight things, but still, six things is very good.

#the things I did NOT do all involve a hand drill so #I have about average upper body strength for a woman which means I do struggle somewhat with hand drills #although these chores all involve walls not metal so it's not THAT bad--except it's sideways rather than down so I can't lean into it #so yeah that's a level of chores I was not up to on my rest day #tomorrow is too booked up for chores--I told my friend I wanted to hang out with them this weekend #since I said no two weeks ago (I was fully booked) and they had to cancel on me last weekend #and normally we meet in the middle for hiking (we live 1.5 hours apart) but this time they suggested I drive all the way out #and I said yes before I realized that's what they were suggesting #so that's fine--but I can't do anything else beyond that tomorrow even just basic chores #which is a little bit getting to me because a house guest is coming to visit in four days #and I really need the shower curtain to be properly secured to the wall by then? #anything else is gravy--I already have clean sheets for her and everything--but THAT needs to be done #I've been living here almost two months and have only knocked the shower curtain down about three times so it's really not that bad #I even hang my towels on it and it's fine BUT I know how to do it? and I'm like professionally good at manipulating physical objects lol #like being a mechanic of sorts is literally a significant chunk of my job #whereas she doesn't pick up object-manipulation tasks easily--especially not involving gross motor skills #in fact when I mentioned it to her she was like yeah that was something she was not going to be able to handle #if I didn't have it properly installed by the time she arrived #so uh... well not today or tomorrow #and Monday and Tuesday I have work... and she's arriving Wednesday #ok realistically tomorrow night I'm just going to have to suck it up and get to drilling no matter how tired I am from driving and hiking

[tardis--dreams]

I haven't gone running in over 3 weeks now. Maybe i should do that again and i'll stop feeling like roadkill

#oh my oh my #it's 2 degrees nowadays #but i should get over it and just go tomorrow afternoon #I'll probably feel bad because i won't be as fast because i didn't run for so long but i should go anyway #and maybe start doing yoga everyday again #idk why i stopped doing that as well #it's like i want to feel as bad as possible #(I'll just tell myself to go down to the stream to take a walk when i really don't feel like it #and then i can just start running if i realize the problem was just getting myself to get out #or I'll have a nice walk. either way not a bad outcome) #void screams #I'll go hiking on Saturday. another thing i generally enjoy but really don't feel like doing ahahah #why must i coax myself into every activity i would benefit from #like. please just do the thing it's not that hard ㅠㅠ

[badolmen]

I got a lot done today but I didn’t get anything Done so I feel unaccomplished and unfairly tired.

#ra speaks #personal #blehhh #I should start finishing up fieldwork this weekend… #plan is to go out and get some photographs for slides and such tomorrow so a low key kinda hiking day #and then I go to supervise lab which yay but also OUGH my bones #I really did do A Lot today like I got my loans sorted I cleaned up a draft and wrote an update email for my advisor I went to two classes #I WANT to finish the coding assignment bc it’s fun and I like the challenge but also I need to sleep so bad

[jamesunderwater]

Tarot question, the high priestess!

The high priestess: what is your dream date?

Well, since it didn't say it had to be a first date I'm gonna say this would be with someone I've come to feel safe with but I'm still getting to know: we have a whole day set aside, and with a parameter of going at most maybe 2 hrs outside our city, we each pick a place that represents something abt the core of who we are. So I take them to the closest biggest body of water and tell them about growing up in Florida and how the ocean knows me in ways humans never can. Maybe they take me to a random town they've never been to before and we go antiquing bc they like seeing new places rather than old, and antiquing is what they did with their grandma growing up. Or, idk, they have us hike to the highest point within the radius and tell me how they like hikes with a challenge because when their legs burn and their heart rate increases they feel wild, like they belong there in the forest. And while we're driving we both play songs for each other that have meant something to us in our lives, taking turns, telling stories, their song reminds me of one from when I was 9 that I forgot existed, they haven't listened to this genre in ages and start remembering all the songs they used to love. When we get back to our city we get ice cream. I go home buzzing and dance around my apartment with my cats to one of the songs they shared.

#i thought deeply about this and cant tell you how perfect it sounds #maybe doing all that in one day would be a lot but the adventure of it is half the fun #we're on the way to my spot and i see a waffle house and im like. wait. detour. my mom thinks WH is the best restaurant in the u.s. #we get bad coffee and waffles and then when we're going to their spot we pass a sign for the town where weiner cars were started (idk) #and theyre like fuck we were gonna go hiking but i was obsessed w weiner cars as a kid. i dressed up as one for halloween when i was 7. #so we go nd take pictures w the OG weiner car and then they drive us around until we find an abandoned building w vines in the windows #and we sneak in and they tell me how they always wanted to be a ghost hunter and still kinda do so we try to hunt ghosts w/o getting tetanus #and so the day could go way off plan and it'd still be on plan #(we hold hands in the abandoned place but wont admit we were creeped out until we get back to the car) #(we take our shoes off and stand w our feet in the water and our shoulders touching and i say close your eyes nd breathe deep 3 times #and tell me what the water tells you) #(and they dont hesitate or look at me skeptically. the water tells them beautiful things its never told me.) #Charlie mail #me #anna tag

[coloursofaparadox]

>:[

#ive lost like all fear of dogs at this point. i realized that earlier today when a massive rottie started a fight with my boy #and my first instinct on seeing flying teeth was to sprint towards them and shove my body in between #its very possible it was also just all self preservation leaving my body because i am absolutely going to protect my pup #i would probably fight a bear for him there is no question that i would forcibly shove another dog off with my forearm #but fuck. despite the fact that i /know/ better sometimes i have a real real bad fatigue week and i use dog parks. i have like. #a selective list of ones that i will go to categorized by 'least likely to become a boxing ring'. tons of space. multiple separate areas. #i go only at off times when its not busy! i watch dog body language and keep an eye on him at all times. #ill rotate areas if i spot a potential problem. i have him under verbal control and wouldnt even be there if i didnt. but! like! #despite all that. just fucking anyone can go there. 'oh your dogs a puppy thats why my dog attacked him!' idgaf. #speaking as someone who has raised a reactive dog. if your dog is reactive why in the absolute hell would you take them to a dog park. #why!!! lif your dog is consistently fighting other dogs why would you do that! it does not matter if he 'only attacks dogs that arent fixed' #he is still obviously not having a good fucking time and is not going to enjoy this environment holy shit #just. gggHHGGH. i avoid off leash parks as much as i can already but. fuck. idek the point of this im just. #still a bit riled over having to physically throw myself in the middle of a dog fight while the other owner did absolutely nothing. #like just hovered! while his dog was pinning mine and teeth flying attacking and was actively fighting me trying to keep him off #when i can afford it im gonna find some sort of dog group walk/hike thing instead i do not want to socialize my boy like this #i am tired and very very upset because my boy looked so scared and i swear to god if you arent grabbing your dog i will fight it myself #fuck dude. fuck dog parks and fuck me for knowing better and still using em anyways.

[guinevereslancelot]

what if i ate something besides toast and saltines 🤔

#may be a fatal mistake tho #i threw up literally everything in my stomach last night i was literally heaving and nothing was coming out #and im not super hungry but i lowkey want to try some chicken soup or something bc im getting a headache and food usually helps with that #but i really dont want to get sick again lol #the real question is should i bail on the hiking plans i have for the weekend lol #its not until saturday and its a small mountain i did it on a field trip as a kid #and i said i would go and im tired of staying home alone all day so i think i will risk it #which means i need to eat soup today to prove im not dying #anyway the reason im throwing up is bc i went dancing last night when i was getting over a really bad cold bc i am a fool #but a guy i like specifically asked me if i could go so i was like okay im done being sick now im ready to go dancing 🤡 #and then i told everyone all night i was fine bc i felt awful and looked aful and then the literal minute i got home i threw up lol #so i should def climb a mountain this weekend #and i will #anyway. going to attempt to eat real food wish me luck <3 #this has been a shitpost