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simplyoriginalcharacters · 7 years

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Yui Sasaki

Fandom; Boku no Hero Academia

World Summary; Takes place in a modern day society where humans have adapted to have superpowers, called ‘Quirks.’ due to this, there’s an uprising of villains and criminals, and so heroes are an integrated part of society. Main narrative takes part in UA academy, more specifically it’s department of heroics. Designed for kids who want to have a career as a hero, and helps to train their quirks.

- Cori here! Read this profile and review under the cut.

Name; Yui Sasaki

Aliases; Kore (Hero name; Alternate name for Persephone, more commonly used in Japan), Seven (Villain Alias; she hasn’t been recorded to have anything defining, so she’s labelled with a number to keep track of her.)

Gender; Female

Sexual Orientation; Panromantic (Unsure of Sexual Orientation)

Age; 15

Birthdate; 21 March

Occcupation; 1st year Student at Yuuei

Alignment; Lawful Good

Group/Organisational Affiliations; Yuuei Department of Heroics, Class 1A, later on the League of Villains

Family; Chiyo Sasaki (Mother, 40 years old, vocal coach.)

Jun Sasaki (Father, 42 years old, airplane mechanic.)

Hisa Fujioka (Grandmother, 73 years old, shrine maiden turned housewife.)

Height + Weight; 5'6, 123lbs

Build; Athletic, built for speed and agility. Lean and has mucles, but not well defined.

General Appearance; Yui has a lean, but still soft frame, with a Japanese complexion and a softer, round face. She has a smaller chest and hips, with freckles and birthmarks scattered on the bridge of her nose, cheeks and arms, with scarring on her knees and hands from childhood accidents. She has honey brown hair just below her shoulders (Later cut off into a bob and fringe style), and amber eyes. She commonly wears clothing that she finds comfortable, such as old jeans and sweaters, but has a sweet spot for Harajuku fashion.

Personality; Yui is an extremely selfless person, reaching the point of sacrificial. This causes her to be very compassionate and tries to be understanding, She has a quiet sort of courage, that suits her to situations where thinking on your feet is required, and is a top pick for disaster scenarios and hostage situations. She’s a cheerful person, but in a muted manner, and is enjoyable to be around, no matter the person (most of the time). She’s very honest, sometimes bruatally, and is a go-to for personal problems. Unfortunately she prefers to bottle up hers and others problems instead of letting it out, resulting in a nasty breakdown every so often. She’s creative, but her academics could use some work, but she’s a very good planner and is good at thinking on her feet.

Motivations; Her desire to help as many people as she can, and to do her parents proud.

Life goal; To be seen as a dependable hero who can help in whatever situation.

Best Quality; A strong desire to improve herself

Worst Quality; Too selfless to the point of sacrificial, one to bottle things up, resulting in a breakdown.

Fears; Being there, but not being able to do anything. Deep water and drowning.

Backstory; Yui grew up in a happy, comfortable home, the only hiccup being the stillbirth of her to-be younger sister. She developed her quirk at age 4 (the average), and while it’s a strong quirk, she never really worked on improving it. She knew that she wanted to help people for a career, and was considering police work, before witnessing a live fight between a high tier villain and a hero, and changed her mind, committing herself to improving her quirk, in order to pass the UA entrance exam. She managed to make it in on a thin margin, and was sorted into class 1A.

Later Storyline; Yui is threatened and blackmailed into joining the League of Villains, by exploiting her selflessness and relationships. She disappears from her dorm room, and is classified as a missing person or runaway, leaving no trails behind. She’s recruited as an informant (giving as much info as she can remember on locations and people) and used as a warehouse guard and occasional tagalong for external missions. Unbeknownst to them, she’s working with a group in the organisation in order to slowly and quietly take it down from the inside.

Quirk; Green Thumb. Allows her to grow plants and flowers from any surface that she’s touching with either her bare hands or feet. The quirk draws on her energy and stamina to grow her plants, and she needs to stay hydrated in order for them to stay healthy. This means that if she uses her quirk too much, she runs out of energy and stamina, eventually passing out. She commonly uses tendril-like plants for fighting, but is adapting to use different plants in her battle strategies.

Weaknesses; Her stamina problems, and her pollen allergies, which cause her asthma to flare up. Not the best for a plant based quirk.

Hello there! Thank you for your patience while I worked on this review. The first thing I’m going to say is that something like Yui’s powers would probably go better at the top of her profile, near the rest of her basic info. I spent the entire first read-through of this profile wondering ‘what the heck is her superpower??’! Appearance-wise, I like the description of Yui’s face and body (pretty jealous of a fifteen-year-old being 5′6 though, haha). I’m really not sure what you mean when you say she has a ‘Japanese complexion’, however. Based on Yui’s name I can guess that her nationality is Japanese, but that’s not really a helpful term for describing someone’s skin. Japanese people can have a wide variety of complexions! I’d also like to see you add some descriptive words to the shape of Yui’s facial features, like her eyes and nose. We’re talking about a character from an anime–their eyes can be any shape under the sun, from perfect circles to a completely horizontal line and everything in between. Play with your character’s design a little! Yui’s personality falls a little flat for me, based on what I have here, and I think it would benefit from some extra depth and details. There are a lot of characters out there who are cheerful and compassionate, who hide their own struggles–what can you do to help set Yui apart from similar characters? Try envisioning her talking with her best friend, a stranger, and a person that she hates. How does she interact with each one of these people? What if that person is coming to her with a problem–how far would Yui go to help each one? As far as social interactions go, brutal honesty is a trait that often frustrates and alienates people, even close friends and family. People who say they are ‘brutally’ honest usually don’t have much tact, and that makes them seem insensitive and rude. So give me some more details here–tell me what she’s willing to lie about to spare someone’s feelings. If Yui is so selfless that she would sacrifice her own emotional health for someone else, why would she risk hurting someone’s feelings? This is a trait that could help make Yui more three-dimensional, but it will need some extra consideration on your part.

What kind of emotions does Yui typically refuse to show other people? Does she try to hide her anger and frustration, or her sadness? Worse, does she try to hide EVERY negative emotion? What happens when it finally gets to be too much? The first half of Yui’s backstory is a fine ‘normal’ backstory for a character like this, but the mention of a stillborn sibling made me stop and think. This kind of thing wouldn’t really be treated like a ‘hiccup’, in my opinion. Losing a baby is, of course, harder on the parents, but to a potential older sibling the loss can be just as devastating. I don’t know how old your character was when this happened, but I speak from personal experience here–I was six when my mom miscarried, and it tore me up to the point that I started acting out in school. Having to deal with death at a young age is not something that everyone goes through. It’s something that heals with time, of course, but I think you’ve got a good opportunity here to explore how the loss of her sibling could have affected Yui, even into her teenage years. The latter half of Yui’s backstory definitely takes an interesting turn, but there are a few parts of it that seem to conflict with what I already know about your character. What she’s involved in with the Villain League is basically a hostage situation–something that you mentioned she was suited for in her training. What kind of training has she received to prepare herself for this kind of scenario? Was it always her intention to be a double agent? How well is she trusted by members of the League, being a new recruit? All in all, you’ve got a good start for a profile here. What it really needs now is some extra ‘spice’–something to help make Yui an interesting and unique character. I hope you’ll be able to get some ideas from my thoughts and questions! Good luck with your writing! ~Cori

#SOC Critique #OC Critique #Development Help #General Help #submission

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