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riminiscensce · 8 hours

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I CAN SEE YOU ִ ࣪𖤐

Wriothesley

SYNOPSIS … “and we keep everything professional, but something’s changed, it’s something I like.” “and I could see you being my addiction, you can see me as a secret mission.”

NOTES … happy ttpd day (was hurt when listening to robin and peter)

CONTENTS … sfw , romance , slight angst , minor kissing scene , mentions of power difference , gender neutral reader

Word Count … 1469

Genshin Impact (Taylor’s Version) Masterlist

Feelings and work never go well together. Wriothesley knows that better than anyone and does exactly what he should be doing; avoid mixing the two together.

Matters in the fortress were already quite a lot to bear, a lot can be added with something such as personal affairs. He doesn’t play into favorites, the idea of it was unfair and overall cruel to think about from an outside perspective.

He doesn’t want anyone in his workplace to paint him as something so horrid as that. It was all to avoid internal conflicts between the work environment of meropide to ensure things go as smoothly as possible.

As much as Wriothesley does what should be done; he also does what shouldn’t even be considerable in this environment.

He only realized this when he found himself paying more attention to another person rather than the rest. If anyone were to read his thoughts, he would defend himself that he genuinely tries to not further it more.

But sometimes when you gesture to each other a small nod along the hallways, Wriothesley really can’t help but think what would happen if it were more than that. More than just simply respect out of a higher up. Whaf would it be if it were something personal.

So he starts watching you; he watches your cooperation with the other guards, your assistance towards the convicts, and even the way you'd sometimes slip in the slippery, wet pipes during your shifts.

But he should’ve given you more credit, not realizing how easily you must have spotted his watchful eyes. He hears you hum, “His grace being out of his office at this time of the day, has something happened?”

“Yes, well…” he ponders for a while. “I thought I heard an explosive.”

“Ah,” Wriothesley looks at your confused expression, somehow noting how level-headed you are. “That's odd, I haven't heard nor felt anything of the sorts…”

If it were anyone else hearing Wriothesley's words just then, they would have panicked at the word “explosive”, yet he felt like laughing a bit at how you weren’t that. “Maybe it was just in my head,”

“Hallucinating? May e you should visit Miss Sigewinne.” Despite your words that were meant to deliver worry, it felt indifferent to your normal tone; something level-headed and calm.

Wriothesley immediately rejects the idea, somehow convincing you that he didn’t feel any headache of any sorts.

“If not, perhaps you just need a meal?” You smile at his stubbornness regarding this hallucination of his, to which Wriothesley felt slightly embarrassed that he let someone think that he’s starting to lose his mind.

“That's probably it,” He admits, shaking off the sudden tension he felt with his previous actions. “Then join me for lunch? you’ve been working for a while,”

“Ah, so his grace was watching me. Thank you for confirming.”

Now he felt genuinely caught.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Ever since the first time Wriothesley has ever gotten to speak to you properly outside of professional matters, he has been talking to you a whole lot in and out of his office.

Whenever you would get suspicious of his sudden visitations during working hours, he’d always excuse himself to merely seeing how everyone was doing and that you weren’t the only one he’s seeing. Which at first you found to be believable.

If it weren’t for the outside glances, you would have kept believing that.

It didn’t take long for the quiet rumors to turn into loud ones, which bothers Wriothesley. Has his “i don’t play favorites” persona died?

He wonders if he should stop making cuts in his schedule to see you. If this word continues to spread, who knows what mistreatment you might receive from both the convicts and the guards. He grumbles at the thought.

But he always seemed to give you less and less credit, he remembers just that when you were the one who felt more astray from him. The one who was supposed to treat you indifferently was the one being treated indifferently, by you.

Sharing a conversation with each other starts to happen rarely and eventually never, and if it did happen it would have been kept short and professional.

Lunch breaks were once again spent inside his office, all by himself with only stacks of paperworks to accompany him instead of your calm musings.

Passing by one another in the hallway felt wrong. You merely send a simple nod to him, like how you would to another one of your coworkers.

Sometimes, Wriothesley just hopes that you weren’t so nonchalant about it all. He just hoped that you weren’t thinking that it was for the best for the both of you, and his title. He just wonders if it doesn’t bother you how you two never talk the same way before?

He only wished that you would come knocking in his office, claiming that you had missed your shared talks with one another. How you’d missed the lunches you shared together. How you had missed him.

What would he do if it ever happens?

“Your grace?” Wriothesley turns to see you, in his office. Just you and him in his office. “I’ve been knocking for a while and thought you were asleep so,”

Why are you here? Did his unspoken wishes somehow come true? it felt stupid and childish but really, Wriothesley felt amused by the thought of it.

“I was sent to deliver these.” Ah, he watches as you pile some files on the table. So that's why.

“Thank you,” You were done with your task, but neither you and him did nor say anything.

Which somehow felt weird considering you two haven’t properly talked for a while.

“You should…” You drag out with a smile, “Get some sleep.”

He returns your smile, the way it would usually be. “Don’t worry, I usually nap every so often.”

“I meant sleep, Wriothesley.”

He likes the way you say his name.

“Those are two different things.”

He knows— well he does now that he was reminded of it. “Surely you knew what you did,”

“Would you like me to address you as ‘your grace’?”

“Not really,” It was almost embarrassing how he responded immediately to your question, as if offended that you would even ask him that.

You laugh at this, and he figures that he likes the way your voice echoes in his empty office.

“You should be leaving now.” Yes, you should be.

“I should,” So why aren’t you leaving? “I simply want to apologize.”

He stays silent, reading his quietness as a way of asking why.

“I shouldn't have indulged in those conversations of ours, I wouldn't want to ruin your image.” Usually he would like your words, but he finds himself hating the way you were apologizing as if it was your fault for his self-indulgent behaviors. And to top it off, he felt put-off at the way you said it so formally.

“That was my decision,”

“I know,” You say. “I still feel the need to apologize.”

“Why?”

“Considering you’re my boss and the longer we talk in a personal manner the more it would lead to unfairness. Something you don’t really… like.”

You’re right. He doesn't really like unfairness, usually playing by fair laws more than anything. And with this… relationship, the power difference between you two felt very apparent.

“You’re right,”

You nod.

It was easy to find yourself out of Wriothesley’s office after that conversation. Because it made sense. It was fair.

But none of those happen when you are up against the wall with him, feeling your lips numb and sting from the rough kisses of his own. If you were to allow him, he would bite your lip hard enough to draw blood.

But that doesn’t happen, instead his hands find their way under your jaw, nudging your head upwards so he can taste you better. Both you can only hope that no one else trudges inside of his office in the middle of the night.

He should probably stop, you should also maybe stop. But the echoes of your breathy huffs from the kiss and his desperate grunts felt too addicting to intervene. It would feel wrong to stop when you two had gotten too far.

Oh, what would the others say when they found out that you’d been smuggling up to the boss? You’d be lying if you were to say that the thought doesn’t bother you.

Somehow, Wriothesley interrupted the moment by pulling away yet still too close to have you feel his breath against your bruised lips. “Behave and don’t tell anyone.”

You laugh, maybe because both of you know better that he was the one who needed to be told to behave.

From that time and every night in his office, it was all a secret.

rimi’s notes …

if it wasn’t obvious enough, i am not used to writing rough kiss scenes. (kissing scenes in general but i try) very sorry haven’t updated this for those who were looking forward to it😭 once i finish writing thoma’s, hopefully the schedule would return back hhh

Next in line would be Thoma for RED!

hearts / reblogs / follows are very much appreciated ★

Hey Stephen by Venti (previously) ִ ࣪𖤐 Stay Stay Stay by Thoma (coming soon)

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #wriothesley x reader #genshin impact tv 🫶🪽

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doctorofmagic · 2 days

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totally not wasting time waiting for training to start at this work thing but (chinhands) what do u think abt stephen’s Love Languages™️

(YEEEEEEES!! ha ha ha YEEEEEEEEEEES! *sicko*)

I personally think his first love language is always flattery. It's honestly my favorite because he's a wizard, and as such, he has a manner with words.

Only later that his love language translates to physical touch, usually soft kisses, holding hands, touching his SO's face etc, until it becomes more and more intimate.

Now, from a headcanon perspective, I think he also loves babbling endlessly about magic (Gale-coded), and this is when he feels the most comfortable around the ones he loves, because then he ignores the fear of being annoying or patronizing. He usually pauses or is interrupted when explaining magic in canon, so I have the feeling he'd develop such a fear because no one really wants to hear him talk.

I also have the feeling that he'd use magic to write romantic letters, like a true good old-fashioned lover boy™.

Last but not least, it's canon that he plays the piano occasionally. So yep, when he sits and starts playing, you're truly seeing him in a very vulnerable and true state of expressing his feelings and love.

Stephen is really romantic and clingy when he feels safe and loved 🥺

#how can the sorcerer supreme be of assistance?#ask #doctor strange #stephen strange #headcanons #marvel comics

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thedemonsurfer · 2 days

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Not me making myself sad thinking about Ruin qq

Im just! He never got a chance! He spent 50 years in his own dimension just trying to survive, not draw attention to himself while he worked on his plans to not just get rid of his Creator, but all Creators that were going to be problems.

And then he gets to 'our' dimension, and while this can't be the ONLY time he's ever had the chance to have allies, it's certainly his Best chance. Especially when they don't kill him! They 'cure' him instead! Surely there's hope!

And then it doesn't

Anywhere

He lived as an ally for 3 months before anyone bothered getting him repaired. He was an afterthought, an awkward annoyance.

And everyone puts such great emphasis on how they didn't trust Ruin-- but I don't think he ever was given a reason to trust THEM. And whatever tolerance or hope he had for finding allies, maybe even friends, went out the window when Moon demanded to pick through his head.

How fucked up is it, knowing you have to corrupt most of your own mind to hide your tracks, because this person for sure will never be an ally? That any hope of being able to get their help in your plan, an effective yet terrible plan, has been completely dashed?

That you're as alone now as you have been for your entire life?

There had to have been alternatives. Maybe if the home crew had been more accepting, if Ruin had gotten access to different perspectives and resources and ideas, maybe an alternative could have been found.

But those things were never an option for him. And of course he stuck with the plan even if it meant Solar would die too-- sacrificing all dimensions for the sake of one person who was only kind of nice to you is a stupid thing to do if you've gotten this far.

(Man it must have hurt to hear Solar's last comment about him be "I guess we should have killed him". Like Ruin was an afterthought of some kind, not even worth addressing directly. Solar might as well have said "I guess I shouldn't have ordered the sushi".)

And yeah i know I'm just a major sucker for accepting punishment gracefully, of the fact that he knows his actions are unforgivable and hasn't tried to argue for any reasons why he shouldn't die-- the most he's said is a small plea that his death is painless, but even then he's resigned himself to suffering. He just wants to help. He's Moon's savior complex and Sun's unshakeable focus smashed together into one.

I know in the show either he's going to sacrifice himself to help, or someone like a Creator will kill him. I don't see him acting as a direct enough threat to justify letting the good guys kill him (congrats Eclipse you graduated to good guy for this).

But man.... I just really want to see someone have been nice to him. For Moon to forgive him somehow, maybe after Solar is back? I wish he could be pulled out of the pit he's in, because there's no light at all for him right now 8(

But I guess that comes with being an Eclipse. There's no hope for you, you're just.... screwed on whatever path you end up on.

#tsams #the sun and moon show #tsams Ruin #LOOK I GOT FEELINGS HERE #comments about how you 'Hate Ruin and hope he suffers' will be ignored go make your own post

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munchmemes · 10 hours

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taylor swift lyrics, the tortured poets department edition, part one

fortnight

▸ i was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me. ▸ i was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic. ▸ no one here's to blame but what about your quiet treason? ▸ for a fortnight there, we were forever. ▸ i took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary. ▸ i love you, it's ruining my life. ▸ thought of calling you but you won't pick up.

the tortured poets department

▸ who uses typewriters anyway? ▸ you're in self-sabotage mode. ▸ we're modern idiots. ▸ you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate. ▸ i chose this cyclone with you. ▸ sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me. ▸ so tell me, who else is gonna know me? ▸ that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

▸ you should've seen them when they first got me. ▸ i only break my favourite toys. ▸ i should've known it was a matter of time. ▸ we could've played for keeps this time. ▸ i know i'm just repeating myself. put me back on my shelf. ▸ i'll tell you that [you/they] run because [you/they] love me. ▸ i knew too much. ▸ you saw forever so you smashed it up. ▸ once i fix me, you're gonna miss me. ▸ you took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts and told me i'm better off but i'm not.

down bad

▸ for a moment, i knew cosmic love. ▸ now i'm down bad, crying at the gym. ▸ everything comes out of teenage petulance. ▸ fuck it if i can't have [you/them]. ▸ i might just die, it would make no difference. ▸ i might just not get up, i might just stay down bad. ▸ fuck it, i was in love.

so long, london

▸ my spine split from carrying us up the hill. ▸ i stopped trying to make you laugh. ▸ how much sad did you think i had in me? ▸ i didn't opt in to be your odd man out. ▸ i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free. ▸ you say i abandoned the ship but i was going down with it. ▸ my friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair. ▸ just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode? ▸ you swore that you loved me but where were the clues? ▸ i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.

but daddy i love him

▸ i just learned these people only raise you to cage you. ▸ i just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you. ▸ they slammed the door on my whole world. the one thing i wanted. ▸ you should see your face. ▸ no i'm not coming to my senses. ▸ i know [you/they]'re crazy but [you/they]'re the one i want. ▸ all my plans were laid. ▸ growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all. ▸ i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning. ▸ i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace. ▸ i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing. ▸ god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me. ▸ you ain't gotta pray for me if all you want is gray for me. then it's just white noise and it's just my choice. ▸ scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer. ▸ fuck 'em, it's over. ▸ time, doesn't it give some perspective?

fresh out the slammer

▸ fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to. ▸ handcuffed to the spell i was under, for just one hour of sunshine. ▸ years of labor, locks and ceilings, in the shade of how [they were] feeling. ▸ it's gonna be alright, i did my time. ▸ as i said in my letters, now that i know better, i will never lose my baby again. ▸ my friends tried but i wouldn't hear it, watched me daily disappearing. ▸ ain't no way i'm gonna screw up, now that i know what's at stake here.

florida!!!

▸ you can beat the heat if you beat the charges too. ▸ they said i was a cheat, i guess it must be true. ▸ this city reeks of driving myself crazy. ▸ little did you know, your home's really only a town you're just a guest in. ▸ i'm barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine. ▸ well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time. ▸ yes, i'm haunted but i'm feeling just fine. ▸ all my girls got their lace and their crimes. ▸ i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body. ▸ i've got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida. ▸ tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable. ▸ love left me like this and i don't want to exist.

#rp meme #rp starters #sentence starters #lyrics rp starters #lyrics starters #lyrics rp meme #roleplay meme #lyrics meme #taylor swift lyrics rp meme

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gynandromorph · 2 days

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It's okay not to answer, I know it's broad territory, but I really respect you as an artist and writer. How do you handle people misinterpreting or missing elements of your work, especially when they may still enjoy it and get something out of it? As an artist I'm struggling lately with knowing my work will always inherently be read differently from what I intended as a matter of the human experience, as well as me being autistic complicating my ability to communicate.

An addition to that last ask. I don't know if it's clear what I'm asking so I'll give some examples. A 50 year old man and a 21 year old woman will get different things from a movie due to their lived experiences. As a gentile reader I might miss jewish narrative themes in a piece of work. That doesn't mean it's bad for us to have experienced it, but as an author I find it frustrating when something is missed or misinterpreted, and I don't know how not to be a control freak about it.

i feel you, i have ocpd and being misinterpreted when i agonized and stressed about how to present my wording makes me want to light myself on fire and it's something i'm working on. writers are supposed to expect and account for different perspectives ahead of time, so it always sort of shocks me when i hear interpretations i wouldn't have thought about at all. i know logically i can't predict all outcomes, but it's still surprising anyway!!! but i generally feel a lot of distress about being misinterpreted because i'm afraid it'll label me as A Bad Person, so i think that's where the experience diverges. maybe investigating why you need to or want to control the way your work is interpreted would help as a starting point? i think having a larger audience helps, too... it means more people will misinterpret your work, but it also means you're more likely to have at least One Guy who interprets it just right and makes fireworks go off in your brain, but there's no way to control how big your audience is!

anyway, the ways to control how your work is interpreted, to the degree that you can:

you can make it simpler. the more parts a story has added to its complexity, the more it's going to be misinterpreted.

you can make the intended message more blatant. you can have a character say exactly what you want the audience to think or hear, or something very close to it. don't want a detail missed? make it bigger.

you can reprioritize parts of the story. basically think of a group of interpretations you want the audience to have if you can, and then put them in order of importance. then the story has a hierarchy to lean on wrt artistic decisions.

you can give the story multiple meanings. more targets to hit. if they're mutually exclusive, i find this works better... i like making my stories ambiguous with conflicting interpretations a lot. yeah, people are going to interpret the story wrong, because it was made in a way that will guarantee it is interpreted wrong in some way.

you can layer the meaning so that less literate audience members will at least get SOME of what you intended. basically, close to the previous strategy, but like a hybrid of that and "make it simpler" imo because you're constructing multiple interpretations that are all supposed to lead to one conclusion (like a persuasive essay or something), but can act as an adequate conclusion on their own.

all of these options have obvious qualitative losses. if you have anything in particular that is repeatedly misinterpreted or missed, it's a good idea to think about Why you're making those choices. consciously committing to a higher-risk artistic choice will help you feel more in control of what happens to it once it's done. the way your art is interpreted isn't totally out of your control, you are making decisions that add to or mitigate the risk of misinterpretations, and you can bring those choices to a more conscious awareness to see them and appreciate them. sometimes it'll feel like a begrudging compromise, but it'll still be Your choice ultimately.

on an emotional level... hopefully this makes sense. there's always going to be the piss-on-the-poor scenario and sometimes i just remind myself that some people are not as literate as me, but it's great we were still able to connect through a work that was probably difficult for them!!! it was a privilege to get to grow up with a good education, access to art and technology, strangers who want to look at what i made, and there are times where i take this for granted, and my expectations of readers are actually kind of unreasonable!!! some people are younger than me and say stupid things like i did, but they aren't able to understand things like me yet, and it's important for them to learn by figuring it out on their own!!! i was and will always be That Guy to other artists and other writers, and i want to give other people the same grace as i get. some people have wildly different life experiences compared to mine, and these experiences can be much more nuanced than i could ever imagine, but it's a little gift that they made my world larger by sharing theirs through my art!!! it's terrifying and embarrassing knowing that i don't know much of anything, even about something i have total control over, but the consequences of that aren't always negative. and possibly the saddest but most common way i deal with this is nothing more than accepting that no one is ever going to understand me on the level that i want to be understood. sometimes my frustration has come from a place of miserable alienation, where the need to feel Seen can be quite desperate. i've made art explicitly about Me, and i've made art deliberately hostile towards its audience, art that's said they don't get it and they never will, but they still bothered to try. i made a game that said no one will win here and they still played it with me, and i can appreciate that. in many cases, they actually know more about me than i know about them. but more importantly, it isn't my audience's job to take care of that emotional need -- in fact, as much as art is made out to be a mode of pure self-expression, i don't think they can. it's a reality that i don't like, but i accept it. art made to benefit others is a one-way mirror: you make them feel seen, but they should never see you, because if they see you, the mirror isn't working.

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myechoecho · 3 days

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Lovely Runner, ep 4

This show just ripped my heart out in the first and last scenes that were from Sun Jae's perspective. We get the confirmation that he was the one who saved her. How it must have hurt for him to hear Sol saying he should have left her to die. He did remember her on the bridge in the future. I wonder if he connected what she said about being thankful for existing to what he said to Sol back then. Sun Jae wanted to take her home not only because he is genuinely nice person, but he because he wanted to spend more time with her after all those years. Sol gives him the candy and he is reminded of the first time she gave it to him.

I WAS A MESSSSS with scene.

I am also more firm that he did not commit suicide.

Sol figures out that she can change the future. I am also curious as to what Sun Jae felt he had to apologize for. Sol works out how to go back to the past.

I guess past/OG timeline Sol does not remember spending time with Sun Jae, which is why she tells her mom and grandma that she's lost chunks of her memories. I feel really bad for Sun Jae. Sol is confusing him terribly. Not totally on purpose but still confusing him.

What I find really interesting is Tae Sung is the only one who really gets that there are two Sols. Well, gets might not be quite the right word. But he's the only one who sees two different personalities. He instantly knew when 2023 Sol was back because he automatically called her grandma again. Some of that has to do with how 2023 Sol has been speaking to him. She talks to him very differently than anyone else. Still, he can separate the two Sols though I am not sure what he thinks about it. I genuinely like him.

I cannot believe Sol just talked her way into Sun Jae's house. The books knocking her out was a bit ridiculous (as was his dad somehow forgetting she was there). However I am willing to forgive that since we get the hand measuring scene that had me screaming into my hands. Then I was dying of laughter when he just up and rolled her up in a blanket, put her over his shoulder to get her our of the house without his dad knowing.

I am glad that Sun Jae told her to stop or try to draw some sort of boundary. I love how despite his frustration, he gave her his slippers. He's such a good person in all of this.

The taxi driver was really suspicious. My guess is that he has something to do with her accident and that it happened on that bridge. She's wearing her uniform in the first scene when Sun Jae saves her plus it happens a couple months from where we are currently in the timeline. Her falling in the water now and Sun Jae pulling her out must have triggered the memory from the accident.

And then we get the last scene where we find out that not only did Sun Jae know it was Sol on the phone, but he deliberately called her. Honestly, I feel almost like Sol in that I want to protect Sun Jae at ALL COST.

#lovely runner #kdrama

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yongility · 3 days

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NEO TV # ROCKABYE (taeyong x reader) 2/?.

genre: single dad au, ceo au, fluff, slightly angst, smut.

warnings: adult language, death mentions, idk there's not a lot of warning for this one.

word count: 7k (not proofread!!!)

a/n: if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!

When Taeyong was growing up, he always carried with him the memory of the wonderful family he had, a small yet at the same time, great family. He, his mother, and his father didn't need anyone else. They were always the three of them, and it was more than enough. Sure, his family wasn't always conventional, and there were obviously mistakes here and there, but that would never mean that Taeyong wouldn't be grateful for the life and love his parents provided him.

Taeyong was always a starry-eyed boy. Passionate about everything that interested him. As a child, he went through countless phases trying to discover what he wanted for his future... Would he be the same man as his father? Or would he choose another profession? Would he be a stay-at-home dad and dedicate himself to his family?

Like the hyperactive child he was... he never knew for sure, and if there was an exact word to describe Lee Taeyong, it would surely be unpredictable.

Unpredictable because no one had the slightest idea what the boy's next step would be. Unpredictable because Taeyong changed his opinions every half an hour unless he felt one hundred percent sure about what he was doing. That was Lee Taeyong, that's how his family and friends knew him, and that's how he was formed.

Nevertheless, the boy matured at a fast pace. Without necessarily feeling it present, the pressure regarding his father's company position was looming closer and closer, not explicitly, but it wasn't necessary to be so to know what would become of him once he graduated from university. He could always hear what others said about him: 'Oh, Mrs. Lee's son is a true gentleman, surely his parents will be proud of him' ... 'Will he really take over the Lee company? He's nothing more than a spoiled child who always had everything handed to him on a silver platter.'

There were always different opinions and criticisms from different perspectives. Yes, Taeyong knew he wasn't perfect, he was more than aware of it. Taeyong was human, he had made mistakes, stumbled along the way, but he always tried to put one foot forward and rise from every stumble he had encountered.

He wasn't a relationship guy. He was sure of that. Of course, he had had some teenage romances in his high school days. He had been on a few dates during college, and yes, he had had at least one relationship that had lasted at least a year.

Although this last one was more about social pressure than simply enjoying the company of the girl who was his girlfriend at his twenty-three years. He would never blame Joy and would never speak bad about her; in the end, Joy had been someone with whom he had spent part of his growth and accompanied in various moments, which was when they decided to try some kind of relationship between them and for the good of both families according to his mother. The Lee family and the Park family had been partners for a long time, so what better than to bring together both heirs of their heritage to reinforce both businesses? However, that didn't last long. Only a year, Taeyong appreciated Joy and vice versa, but definitely didn't see any future with her. He tried, he really tried. He wanted to do his best, he wanted to do things right, but he couldn't. He simply couldn't.

And with the pressure from his family and Joy's family, nothing could be contracted.

'Taeyong, we are very happy that our daughter and you are making such great progress, we can't wait to see a ring on my daughter's finger.'

'Taeyong, time is passing and you still haven't knelt before her, you know we can't grow old without seeing you at the altar.'

'Taeyong, today Joy and I were at the mall and we saw a spectacular baby clothing store, you're taking too long! How lovely it would be to already have a little one running through the halls of the house!'

Marriage, family, commitment. It was something that Taeyong didn't think about and didn't want to have at his twenty-three years. Sure, someday he would have to settle down and form his legacy, but he wished it would be with someone he truly loved, with someone he could see his future with and grow old together, but could he ever get all that someday?"

_______________________________________________

First Month.

Week one.

For someone with enough money, Taeyong didn't usually keep his apartment constantly in undergoing renovations. Lee Taeyong was a simple man, he preferred the minimalist and the modest. Nothing extravagant, nothing ostentatious. At the end of the day, there were few times he found himself at home, its only use was just for sleeping, if he had the opportunity to do so.

However, as many things had been changing suddenly in the last few days, it was no news that his apartment would be one of the things involved in one of those changes. So his apartment was now filled with piles of boxes here and there and a few cans of paint waiting to be used.

It would be a long process.

"If someone told me that, that when I return from America, I would be assembling a crib for one of my friends' daughters, I definitely wouldn't believe it," Jaehyun said slowly as he read some instructions.

"Hard to believe, but not impossible," commented Doyoung, snatching the paper from his hands and now reading the instructions.

"It's just that I only left for two weeks! And now I'm an uncle! As far as I know, that process takes nine months," exclaimed Jaehyun exasperatedly.

A thump on his head made him stop and he brought his hand to his neck to rub it as he complained slowly and looked at the cause of that attack.

"It was a nine-month process, idiot. It's just that we didn't find out about it until a little over a week ago," Doyoung told him, looking at him disapprovingly.

After that, and quietly giving up on how to build a crib, they left the room where they were and headed to the small baby carrier that was on the couch with a very peaceful Sun Hee inside it, or at least she seemed to be peaceful.

Doyoung and Jaehyun approached her, who either looked at them or made an attempt to do so, with her eyes wide open and babbling sweetly. The heads of both boys tilted as they watched the little one and her actions, almost as if they were examining her and trying to guess what her next move would be.

May the universe take care of the little one with such uncles she has.

"She looks like Taeyong," murmured Jaehyun.

"Well, of course she looks like him, she's his daughter," Doyoung replied obviously.

"She could look like her mom, who knows," the younger shrugged and continued to watch the little one. Who would have thought that one of their friends would be a father?, who would have thought that the very Lee Taeyong, who loved freedom, would become a father? The little one remained calm for a few more moments, until Doyoung and Jaehyun's gaze that was on her may have made her uncomfortable, because without further ado and letting out a whimper, she began to cry; causing both boys to look at each other and panic as they didn't know what to do next.

"Should I pick her up?" Jaehyun asked alarmed. He had never held a baby before. "Sun Hee? Calm down... calm down Sun Hee... don't cry."

"Where's Taeyong?" asked Doyoung, and the baby's crying became even louder. "Taeyong!"

"Sun Hee, please don't cry," murmured Jaehyun as he looked around, then took the remote control and turned on the TV. "Look! Look Sun Hee, the news! That so interesting, isn't it?"

"You idiot, what does she know about the news," snapped an upset Doyoung as he lightly hit his friend's arm.

"How would I know, I've never had a daughter! Where's Taeyong? Taeyong!" they called again for the attention of the father, who was not present, and the little one began to cry more and more. "Sun Hee, don't cry because I'm also going to cry," commented a very sentimental Jaehyun.

To the misfortune of both boys, Taeyong along with Johnny had gone down to the lobby of the building for a couple of things that would be delivered for the apartment renovation.

Who else but the great Lee Taeyong would leave a baby in the care of TWO adult babies? Nobody else but him.

Doyoung quickly grabbed a toy that looked like a rattle and after seeing his friend entering a great state of panic, he began to shake it trying to get the attention of the little one who seemed not to have precisely an off button, and instead of getting distracted and stopping crying with the noise of her toy, she seemed to become more uncomfortable and start crying once again.

Both friends looked at each other again, defeated. A one-week-old baby had more power over them. They would definitely be ready to be parents in about... thirty years.

"You idiots , what have you done to my princess?" Lee Taeyong questioned once inside his apartment, leaving the boxes he was carrying on the floor and approaching his daughter, lifting her in his arms and making her cry cease once she felt the warmth of her father.

"What did we do to her? What did she do to us!" exclaimed Jaehyun, bringing his hands to his face.

"You're so dramatic, Sun Hee is a sunshine," commented Johnny, approaching his friends and stroking the cheeks of the little one in Taeyong's arms. "Aren't you? You're a very pretty sunshine, Sun Hee, I bet when you grow up you'll be so pretty that everyone will be after you," he said in a high-pitched voice while Sun Hee seemed to be very familiar with the voice of her third uncle, who was making a very small attempt at a smile.

"Look at that, it seems like Sunnie already has favoritism towards one of her uncles," Taeyong said, smiling tenderly as he saw his daughter calmer.

"Johnny her favorite uncle? I'm the godfather!" exclaimed Doyoung offended.

"He's the godfather?" Jaehyun and Johnny asked incredulously, pointing at Doyoung.

Oh no.

Taeyong looked innocently at his friends and smiled slightly once an idea lit up his head.

"Whoever manages to assemble her crib will be her godfather. Isn't that right, Sun Hee?" the little one just babbled while her eyes closed, beginning to drift off to sleep.

He didn't need to repeat his sentence before his friends ran out of the room and ran towards the place that would be Sun Hee's room.

Taeyong laughed and left his little daughter in the baby carrier while gently rocking her.

It will be a long day.

_____________________________________________

First month.

Week three.

If there's one thing people know about Lee Taeyong, it's that he's a dedicated and determined man. A workaholic perhaps, and that might be the reason behind the great success and reputation of his company. Taeyong knew what he was doing, and he was the best at it. His investments always remained clean and on a large scale; any businessman would feel honored to work with the great Lee, or even to have a minimal connection with him. He was well-known in the business world, not just because of who his father was, but because of the great work he had done on his own to achieve everything his companies obtained after his father's retirement. A young man in big business, respected by the world.

That was Lee Taeyong.

He was also a man of routine and hated when it was affected. Over the years and as he grew older, Taeyong realized that the best thing for him was to have a schedule ready for each morning so that things would go more smoothly and efficiently. His days were mostly planned, but it was obvious that there would always be some unexpected event to deal with during the day. However, Taeyong always found a way to handle it as organized as possible.

However, with the arrival of Sun Hee in his life, and what it caused to change completely, his routine had to be terribly affected. He had been aware that this would happen, at least in the first weeks – or months – of Sun Hee's life. At least until he could take her to a daycare or until he could find a nanny he could trust completely to leave the most precious thing in his life in her care.

So for now, he had to play two roles, that of being a father and that of being the CEO of one of Korea's most important companies. Although now that he could see his life from two completely different points of view, he could assure that the first role was by far more difficult than the second.

He had heard a lot about being a father, even his mother had given him a book on how to be a father, he thought it would help, but it really didn't help at all. Being a single father was hard, especially being a first-timer; his mind was in chaos. Of course, he loved Sun Hee, she was his life, his ray of sunshine, but sometimes it was too much to handle, sometimes the diapers didn't fit as nicely as a pretty nurse had taught him... Sometimes Sun Hee didn't want to drink the formula that Taeyong offered her when she was supposed to eat – and according to his mother, maybe it was because the girl needed breast milk, how the hell could Taeyong do that? – Sometimes no matter how much effort he made, Sun Hee wouldn't stop crying.

And that's where he was right now. At three in the morning, with visible dark circles under his eyes, his hair disheveled, barefoot while rocking Sun Hee back and forth in his arms, who seemed to find no peace.

"Shh, Sunnie. What's wrong? You should sleep a little, don't you want to let Daddy rest a bit?"

The day for Taeyong had been difficult; there had been some mishaps in the company that couldn't be dealt with from home, so he had to go there with Sun Hee as his company.

The confused looks from his employees had not been of much help to him at that moment.

Nor had it been of much help that Sun Hee had been whiny all day. Taeyong didn't understand what was going on with his little one, it wasn't that she needed a diaper change, it wasn't that she was hungry... she just spent the day throwing little complaints.

And that had been too much for Taeyong. The pressure of business matters and the responsibility he had as a father became too much.

Sun Hee continued to cry in his arms, and Taeyong felt like he would cry at any moment too.

"Sunnie, please. I don't want us to be kicked out of the building for bothering the neighbors," murmured a very frustrated father. "Calm down, baby, can you do that for me? Can you calm down a bit, huh? Can you do that for Daddy?"

Taeyong stroked his daughter's cheek, who seemed to stop crying and just let out a few small sobs that hopefully would stop in a few seconds.

He sighed and relaxed his body, bringing Sun Hee closer to him.

And maybe... just maybe, he spoke too quickly.

Because as soon as he was relaxed, his daughter started crying again, and this time Taeyong couldn't take it anymore and cried too. He sat on his bed with her in his arms, and a few tears fell from his eyes.

Looking at his daughter and seeing the state she was in, he couldn't help but feel his heart ache. Sun Hee looked so fragile, so small. How could he keep her safe? How could he make everything alright? Oh, how he wished he had come into the world with all the knowledge about how to be a good father in his mind.

"I wish I could know what's wrong with you, Sun Hee, but I can't read your little mind," he murmured between sobs. Obviously, his daughter didn't respond, but rather continued with her act.

His lungs would probably hurt right now with all the crying he had done, and that terrified Taeyong, who stood in his place and walked to the bedside table, where he picked up his phone and entered his contacts list. He didn't exactly know what he was doing or why, but his desperation overpowered him, and in a moment his fingers were dialing the only number he could think of, he just hoped he was doing the right thing.

One tone... two tones...

It's three in the morning, Lee Taeyong, who would answer you at this hour?

Three tones... four tones.

"Hello?" a very sleepy voice was heard on the other end of the line, and Taeyong could feel the air returning to his lungs.

"Y/N?, I'm really sorry for calling you at this hour," Lee murmured as he left his daughter in her rocker and held his phone between his shoulder and ear.

(Y/N) recognized that voice after a few seconds and recognized those cries even more, making her sit up briefly in her bed and mentally forcing herself to wake up completely.

"Taeyong? What's wrong? Is it Sun Hee the one I hear?"

Of course, it's Sun Hee, idiot! What other daughter does Lee Taeyong have?

"Yes, it's Sun Hee... and I... don't know what's going on. Sunnie has been complaining all day and hasn't stopped crying for a while. I don't know what to do, I've already changed her diaper, she's already eaten, I even sang her some lullabies, but nothing works," explained Taeyong desperately. "I don't know what to do, I'm tired, my arms hurt from carrying her so much, I've memorized all the nursery rhymes, and Sun Hee doesn't seem happy with anything."

"Oh, Taeyong..."

"You were sleeping, weren't you? Oh God, I'm so sorry, I know it's late, but calling you was the only thing I could think of, I'm really sorry..."

"Taeyong?" (Y/N) called him. "Don't worry, I told you that you could call me if you ever needed it. I have no problem helping you, even if it's three in the morning," the girl could hear the soft laugh of the nurse on the other end of the line, and this created a great contrast between the incessant cries of his daughter and the sweet laughter of (Y/N). "What can I do for you?"

"I know it's late, but I can't think of anything else, can you come? Or if you want, I can put Sun Hee in her car seat and drive over there!" Taeyong explained quickly.

"Calm down, I don't think it's the best idea for you to drive stressed and with Sun Hee crying in the back seat. Send me your address, and I'll be there in a moment."

"Thank you, (Y/N), I wouldn't be calling at this hour if I really didn't need it..."

______________________________________________

The door of Taeyong's large apartment was knocked, and this alerted the boy as he carried his baby close to his chest. Lee headed to the entrance of his house, and when he opened it, he found (Y/N) in a very different contrast than he had become accustomed to seeing her. For obvious reasons, she was not in her work clothes, and now she was wearing a black sweatshirt with cute pants covered in puppy drawings all over. Her hair slightly loose and without a drop of makeup.

Even so, she looked pretty.

Taeyong blinked a couple of times and moved aside to let the girl pass while he continued to rock his daughter.

(Y/N) entered the apartment and approached the father and the little girl.

"Can you lay her down somewhere? I'd like to give her a quick check-up,"

Taeyong nodded without hesitation, walked to the room that had been adapted for Sun Hee, and laid her down in her crib. The crib that Johnny had successfully built, opening the fight between who would truly be Sun Hee's godfather... something they would detail later.

Once the little one was in her crib, (Y/N) lifted her clothes slightly to observe Sun Hee's stomach and see a few more things. The boy simply watched in silence, resigned by his daughter's cries and giving a couple of glances to the girl beside him.

I wish the call I made had been for something else and not for this.

Taeyong and (Y/N) hadn't had contact since that time two weeks ago when the former had left the hospital. Taeyong tried to call her a couple of times, to thank her again for everything she had done for them during the time she had been Sun Hee's nurse, but for some reason, he was always busy enough with his daughter and the company, and he didn't allow himself to do it.

He would have liked to invite her for coffee sometime.

He really would have liked that.

"I'm not exactly a doctor," (Y/N) spoke. "But I've worked with many babies to see these consistent behaviors. It seems to me that Sun Hee is suffering from colic; I think it would be best to take her to the pediatrician first thing in the morning just to be sure."

Taeyong nodded without saying a word, maybe because he was too tired to formulate anything or because maybe his mind was no longer processing anything. (Y/N) smiled tenderly, regardless of the little one's whining; after all, it was something she heard daily in maternal care.

"Can I?" she asked, pointing to Sun Hee. Taeyong nodded again, and (Y/N) took the little one in her arms. "Oh Sun Hee, it's been a while since we last saw each other; you look even prettier than two weeks ago, even though you won't stop crying," she murmured, earning a small laugh from Taeyong.

"Try spending three hours listening to her cry," the visibly tired boy replied.

"I work in maternal care, remember? I hear several babies cry at the same time."

"True," Taeyong sighed, "it's just that it's tiring, you know? Particularly today was a heavy day, and it seems that Sunnie has no intention of letting me sleep tonight."

"We'll try to fix it then," (Y/N) gave him a smile, glanced around the room, and when she found a rocking chair, she went there to sit down.

She placed Sun Hee on her lap face down and began to pat her back gently, then used her fingers to give her a little massage, delicate enough for her. For a moment, the crying didn't stop, but after a few minutes, the father found himself really surprised to notice that his daughter had managed to calm down.

From the doorway of the room, with his arms crossed over his chest... Taeyong smiled.

But what a sight. (Y/N) tried not to be distracted by this and continued to massage while clearing her throat.

"The nursery is very nice," she commented, trying to look anywhere but at the boy's figure.

Taeyong nodded and approached her slightly.

If you don't see him, you won't be distracted... if you're not distracted by him, you won't think anything impure...

"Yes, we set it up the first week Sun Hee was here. The guys and I went through a moment-" Taeyong laughed as he remembered the day- "Do you remember, Doyoung? He was the one who accompanied me on the last day at the hospital," (Y/N) nodded, "Doyoung, Johnny, and Jaehyun helped me, it was chaos, but we managed to set everything up... still, Sun Hee doesn't sleep here yet."

"Really?"

"Mhmm, Sunnie sleeps with me. In a way, it's easier for her to sleep if I'm by her side; I just put some pillows around her, and she sleeps in my bed," he commented, feeling his cheeks blush. In reality, it wasn't so much that Sun Hee had gotten used to him, but rather that Taeyong rested more peacefully knowing that his daughter was by his side, so he would know that, if something happened, he could respond immediately.

"That's very sweet," she commented, "how has everything been? It's been three weeks since I heard anything from you," she continued massaging the little one's back.

"Uh, it's been good, I guess. Sometimes a bit chaotic, but I have my parents' help and Sun Hee's uncles," he replied, "... my friends, they say they're Sunnie's uncles, and I agree with them, they're like my brothers."

"It's nice to know you have someone to lean on; it would be much harder if you were alone," she took the baby in her arms and rocked her as she saw her sleepy face.

Taeyong, surprised by the immense ability of the nurse, watched the scene with tenderness, which looked too domestic. Too much for Taeyong's liking.

"Yes, it's been hard, but they've been a great help. I've been working from here, so I have to take care of the company and Sun Hee at the same time. Sometimes it gets stressful, but I have to keep doing it, at least until Sunnie gets bigger and I can get a nanny... or take her to the company. I don't know which of the two options is worse."

"You'll surely find a good nanny or daycare," (Y/N) encouraged, "you know? We have a daycare at the hospital... well, not exactly in maternal care or in the hospital itself, it's affiliated. Sometimes I cover shifts there; maybe you should consider it."

"Yes, maybe," Taeyong smiled.

Both remained silent for a few seconds, (Y/N) still gently rocking the little one to not wake her from the sleep she had fallen into, and Taeyong discreetly looking at the nurse.

Never in his life did he think he would find himself in such a situation.

But he wasn't complaining; he liked the scene. It was nice to see.

(Y/N) also discreetly contemplated the scene and thought to herself: How is it possible for Lee Taeyong to look so attractive at three in the morning? Even with dark circles under his eyes?

It wasn't news that the man seemed attractive to her, but after three weeks without hearing from him, she thought she wouldn't think of him that way. Of course, Taeyong and Sun Hee were constantly on her mind; she wanted to know about them on many occasions, but she had no way to contact with him, and the hospital, for good reasons, wouldn't give her the Lee family's private information; after all, it's the hospital's policies, and she would respect them.

However, she was grateful that Taeyong had called her, even though it had been at three in the morning on a Tuesday, to deal with Sun Hee's irritated problem.

She just hoped that if they met again, it would be in a different situation...

______________________________________________

An hour and a half later, with a deeply sleeping Sun Hee in Taeyong's bed surrounded by pillows, and the clock showing four forty-five in the morning. Lee Taeyong and Kang (Y/N) were in the living room of the apartment, not saying much.

"I think I should go," the girl commented. "I start my shift in a few hours."

Two hours and fifteen minutes to be exact.

"Oh my God, (T/N), you should have told me you had an early shift; I wouldn't have made you come here if I had known," Taeyong exclaimed alarmed.

"Don't worry, really. I told you that you could call me if you ever needed anything, and I meant it. You and Sun Hee would never be a problem. I'm glad to help," she smiled.

"Thank you very much, it means a lot to me that you did this," the boy commented. For a moment, he thought about taking the girl's hands and giving them a slight squeeze, but he held back his thoughts. "I promise to repay you soon... maybe with a coffee?" the brunette asked, feeling a surge of hope in his chest.

He saw the girl's smile widen, causing him to smile as well, and he lowered his gaze shyly.

"Rest assured that I'll say yes," she replied. "I'll be waiting for your call, even if it takes three weeks again," she joked.

"I won't take that long this time, I promise you."

"We'll see about that... in the meantime, don't forget to take Sun Hee to the pediatrician tomorrow; anything you need, you can call me, Lee Taeyong. I'd like to know how things are going with Sun Hee afterward."

"I'll let you know if anything comes up."

"Goodnight, Lee Taeyong."

"Goodnight, (Y/N)."

And so, at five in the morning, each went to bed with a small smile decorating their faces.

____________________________________________

For (Y/N), life was something she appreciated.

Perhaps that's why she chose to work in the healthcare field.

She grew up in a middle-class family. Nothing extravagant, but with everything necessary to live comfortably. Her family wasn't large either; it was just her, her two siblings, and her parents. A typical family with its ups and downs.

She was never demanding and instead tried to help with whatever she could. She liked making people feel good and enjoyed contributing whenever possible, something that made her parents proud.

She grew up as a normal girl, at least until she reached high school, where her parents' divorce took place. She never knew when it happened or what led them to make that decision, which left a scar on her heart.

Or maybe she always knew but never wanted to acknowledge it.

She must have noticed it when her parents started arguing over every little thing. She must have noticed it when her father was less present at home. Surely, she noticed it when her mother cried all day in her room when her husband spent the entire night away. Perhaps the times when her older sister was irritated and left home to hang out with people of dubious reputation were a sign of how her family was gradually falling apart.

However, she hoped it wouldn't be like that.

Still, despite how much that decision affected her, she continued with her life as best as she could, being a support to her mother and becoming the older sister when her brother failed in that task.

She became an independent woman. She didn't like relying on others for money, which is why she managed to work since she entered high school. It was a part-time job, enough for her to have her own money, and it was the job that allowed her to find her vocation and passion.

Her job wasn't complicated – or at least, it didn't feel that way because it was something she genuinely enjoyed. Every day, after finishing her last high school class, (Y/N) rushed to the Dongjak area, where on a small street, she found the daycare center that allowed her to find her path. At that time, she didn't fully interact with the children, as she lacked the experience needed and was still young for that, but she was the assistant to the caregivers there, and seeing them work excited her every day.

She didn't know if she had developed an emotional attachment there, after the conflicts that had arisen at home due to her parents' arguments.

But she enjoyed being there, she really did.

Then her sister, in an attempt to leave home and go with who she swore was the love of her life, got pregnant at a young age. It was a difficult pregnancy, and (Y/N) took part in taking care of her sister throughout the process. She appreciated everything she had learned at the daycare center, which allowed her to put it into practice once her nephew was born.

Her nephew was the apple of her eye and would always be.

She didn't blame her sister, she really didn't want to, but there were times when it seemed like she was the mother of her nephew herself. There were many occasions when she had to take care of Jisung. Her sister had to leave high school behind and get a job to cover her and her son's needs, especially after the man who swore to always be by her side had cowardly fled two months before giving birth, making the childbirth process even more difficult than it already was.

So, her nephew saw her as a pillar. Someone who took care of him, fed him, changed him, and cared for him. (Y/N) even witnessed his "firsts" before his own mother. His first steps, his first words, she even accompanied him on his first day of preschool, continuing until she had to go to university.

Having found her vocation early on made everything easier. She entered the Academy of Health and Pediatric Nursing in Seoul. Where she always got good grades and became an exemplary student, graduating with all the honors her academy could give her almost three years ago.

It wasn't difficult for her to find a job immediately, thanks to the recommendations some of her teachers had, she was able to find a nice position in the maternity and pediatric care area at Seoul General Hospital, where she couldn't feel more comfortable.

Where she was right now.

" Nurse (Y/N)!" a soft voice called from behind her, causing her to turn around and smile emotionally.

"Hello, little one," she greeted, approaching the bed of one of her patients. "How are you feeling today?"

"Very well, they told Mom that I can go home today, they say the treatment worked," the boy told her with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh, I'm so glad to hear that! You'll soon be back to see your friends at school," she encouraged him.

"Yes, but I'll miss you a lot, so I made this for you," he said, pointing to the piece of paper in his hands. "It's you and me."

(Y/N) smiled tenderly and looked at the drawing Kaeyoon had made for her.

"It's very nice, Yoonie, thank you very much for your gift, I'll hang it on my fridge," she said as she high-fived the boy. Then she looked at the drawing and looked doubtful. "And who is he? Is he your dad?" she asked, pointing to another figure in the drawing.

"No, that's Doctor Yuta, and he has hearts in his eyes because he's your boyfriend!" he exclaimed happily, causing (Y/N) to widen her eyes and then release a smile.

"But Yoonie~, Doctor Yuta is not my boyfriend," she replied, still laughing.

"Then can I be your boyfriend?” he asked skillfully.

"Oh, honey, I'm afraid you're too young for me," she replied with a smile.

"And when I get bigger?"

"Maybe when you're big," (T/N) continued. "But by then, you'll surely have found another girlfriend that will have your age."

"But you're the prettiest! Besides, I have to beat Doctor Yuta," he muttered.

"What do you have to beat me in?" another voice chimed in, and (Y/N)'s body reacted to it.

"In nothing."

"In being (Y/N)'s boyfriend," Kaeyoon and (T/N) replied in unison.

Yuta opened his mouth and pretended to be surprised. "So it's a competition?"

"Yoonie's just kidding," (T/N) said with a nervous smile. "You know how kids are, doctor."

"Look, doctor! I've made a drawing for you too," Kaeyoon exclaimed, changing the subject drastically, and it was the perfect opportunity for (Y/N) to awkwardly step away from there.

She wrapped the drawing in the paper and put it in the pocket of her pants before starting to check the checklist and see which child she should attend to. She stood at the desk for a few seconds, checking and arranging things until she felt a presence beside her, one that she could easily identify.

"So you have little kids falling for you," Yuta commented with a mocking smile.

(T/N) smiled nervously. "That's how kids are. Two weeks ago, he was in love with Nurse Mina."

"But he was right to fall for you," Dr. Yuta continued, and (T/N) let out a laugh followed by him. "Would you like to go for a coffee in your next break at the hospital cafeteria? I mean, it's not the most elegant thing, but I'd like to spend some more time with you."

(Y/N)'s cheeks turned crimson, and she nodded, smiling. "Oh yes, of course. I would love to."

"Maybe I might win you over Kaeyoon," Yuta said as he walked away from the desk.

_______________________________________________

Second month.

Week one, Thursday.

(Y/N) had been right two weeks ago. Sun Hee was suffering from colic, and according to the pediatrician, it was due to the formula Taeyong had been feeding her.

Taeyong instinctively felt like a bad father; he had been feeding his daughter something her little stomach seemed unable to tolerate. But how could he have known? He had to completely discard those formula cans from his pantry and replace them with the new formula the pediatrician had recommended, and soon, Sun Hee's discomfort was diminishing.

Even now, he could sleep a little more at night.

Along with the massages he had learned the night (Y/N) had helped him and a couple of other routines, Sun Hee's colic decreased.

(Y/N)…

Although Taeyong had assured not to take three weeks again to contact her, it seemed that Taeyong really wanted to leave her waiting. Not to misinterpret, it wasn't that he didn't want to call her and invite her for a coffee, but his life was busy, and his priority was his daughter instead of throwing flirty glances around.

Although he knew that a coffee was the least Taeyong could offer her in gratitude for that time at three in the morning, he simply couldn't muster the courage to pick up his damn phone and dial a few numbers. Besides, he didn't want to misread the signs; who would want to date a dad?

"You should just call her," Johnny advised as he watched his friend from the other side of the couch.

Sun Hee rested on her father's chest as he stared at his phone incessantly.

"I don't know, John," Taeyong replied with a sigh.

"How long has it been? Two weeks? You should have called her the next day."

"I don't want to pressure anything... maybe she's not interested."

"The girl came at three in the morning on a Tuesday, do you really think she wouldn't be even slightly interested?" Johnny asked incredulously.

"It was for Sun Hee, nothing else. She said she wouldn't mind helping with Sun Hee whenever she could," the younger one confessed, stroking his daughter's back.

"You should give yourself more credit, Lee Taeyong. You're a coveted and handsome man; being a dad now doesn't change how attractive you are."

"I was hoping she would be interested, not you," he joked, and Johnny contemplated throwing a pillow at him for a moment, but after seeing his niece on his friend's chest, he stopped.

"You'll never know if she has even a little interest if you don't call her. Plus, for the favor she did you, it's the least you can do."

Taeyong fell silent and sighed.

"I know, I'm aware of that," he replied, closing his eyes momentarily. "I'll keep considering it."

"You're stubborn," Johnny commented, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, alright. Get your ass up and come with me to the supermarket; Sun Hee finished her formula, and she needs more."

"Anything for my niece."

______________________________________________

“What do you think of this?” Johnny asked as he showed Taeyong a jar of baby food.

Taeyong turned around and snorted.

“Sun Hee still can't eat those things; besides, the doctor recommended that once Sunnie started trying food, I should prepare her purees myself. It's more natural,” the father shrugged, glancing at his daughter strapped to his chest in a baby carrier.

“Wow.”

“Wow what?”

“I never in my life imagined you playing the role of a dad,” Johnny commented with a half-smile.

His friend sighed and placed a can of formula in the shopping cart before sighing again.

“I didn't either, but Sun Hee came, and I'll try to be the best father she could have,“ he replied, smiling as he looked at his daughter. “ Everything happened very quickly, but Sunnie is a ray of sunshine.”

“She is!” Johnny agreed, then cleared his throat. “When are you going back to work? At the company, I mean.”

“John, this isn't the place to talk about that,” Taeyong said, pushing the cart.

“Taeyong, you know it has to happen. At some point in your life, you have to return to your usual routine. You can't work from home your whole life. Even the day will come when you have to go out and have fun too!”

“Johnny, stop”

“You know I'm right, Taeyong.”

The younger one sighed again. "I know, John, but now isn't the time for that. Sunnie is only two months old; the day will come when I can take her to the office without her getting irritated so quickly or the day when she's big enough to leave her in daycare."

“Just promise me you won't put your life completely on hold. I know Sunnie is your priority now, and some things change when you become a father, but please, also give yourself some time. If you ever need it, you can ask your mother to take care of her, I could even be Sun Hee's babysitter for a day!”

“I'd rather leave Sunnie with Doyoung and Jaehyun than with you,” Taeyong joked.

“Hey! How could you prefer to leave my niece with those two clowns? They can't even take care of themselves!”

Taeyong chuckled and continued pushing the shopping cart while considering what groceries to bring home.

“Okay, Johnny, I really appreciate it.”

His friend kept talking beside him, but he wasn't really paying attention. Instead, he was focusing on the items on the shelves and what he should take home, gently rocking Sun Hee to prevent her from crying right there.

He stopped somewhere between the cereal aisle and the canned goods, and upon hearing a child's laughter, he turned to his right, finding a very familiar face. The girl was about twenty steps away from him, with a smile on her face as she listened to what a little boy was saying to her.

Taeyong was confused; his brow furrowed as he looked sideways at the scene. Was that girl (Y/N)? If so, who was the boy next to her? His eyes widened; could he be her son? But what about that time at three in the morning? She wouldn't leave her child alone somewhere to go help another family... What if she had a husband and left him with him? Oh no, no, no, no.

“Taeyong?“ a female voice brought him back to reality, and he focused on the girl coming towards him with a confused expression, then smiling as she recognized him.

“ (Y/N), hi” he greeted, once she and the boy holding her hand were in front of him.

“ Of all the places we could run into each other, it has to be the supermarket” she commented, laughing softly.

Taeyong smiled. "Yes, Sunnie ran out of formula, so I had to come for more," he explained, pointing at his daughter.

“ Oh, I see. How's Sun Hee? I haven't heard from you since about two weeks ago,“ she inquired.

“She's been better; she had colics because her stomach couldn't handle the formula she was drinking. Now everything's fine.”

“I'm glad to hear that,“ (Y/N) noticed how Taeyong discreetly observed Jisung and spoke, “ Oh, yes, he's Jisung*. He's my nephew; I brought him to buy his favorite cereal, and he's staying over tonight.”

The guy felt the blood rushing back through his body and smiled warmly as he leaned slightly to look at the little boy.

“Hey, hi champ. I'm Taeyong, and she” he momentarily uncovered his daughter's face “ is Sun Hee.”

“Hi, Mr. I'm Jisung, and I'm this many,“ he held up his right hand, raising five fingers and showing them to Taeyong, who smiled tenderly.

“Oh, that's a lot. You're almost catching up to me.”

“Yeah, he’s almost your age” she laughed off.

In that brief moment, Taeyong and (Y/N) exchanged a few more words. The guy was distracted by her, now seeing her in a different light. He had seen her in her work clothes, then in pajamas when he called her at three in the morning, and now he saw her in a floral dress and a thin sweater covering her, with her hair loose and slightly wavy, and a bit of gloss on her lips.

She looked phenomenal. Actually, she looked phenomenal no matter what.

In nurse's attire, in pajamas, he was sure she would even look spectacular in a sack of potatoes because she just shone in every way.

However, his little and discreet admiration was interrupted when Johnny's voice called him abruptly.

“Hey, Taeyong. Look what I found; this would look cute on my niece” Johnny spoke, lightly tapping his back as he reached his side. Then he realized the situation and smiled sideways, “Oh, I didn't know you had found someone. I'm Johnny Suh, pleased to meet you” the blonde commented, extending his hand to the girl and giving a high-five to the little boy.

“She's (Y/N),” Taeyong said, fearing the worst.

“Oh.”

“ Nice to meet you, Johnny. I'm (Y/N). I was Sun Hee's nurse while she was in the hospital” she spoke kindly.

Johnny smiled playfully and turned to look at his friend, who was looking at him barely shaking his head.

Taeyong could expect anything from his friend, and that was what he feared the most.

“Oh, so you're the nurse Yong wanted to invite for coffee?“ he innocently asked.

“Johnny.”

“Hmm, I don't know” she responded with a little laugh, “Am I?”

“Excuse my friend; he's a very busy and absent-minded man” Johnny explained, receiving a small punch in his ribs from Taeyong, who smiled falsely and continued talking to the girl, “Isn't that right, Taeyong?”

“Yes, sorry for not calling you back after that night; I've just been taking care of Sun Hee and working at the company, so I didn't find the right moment to call you” Taeyong spoke with his head slightly bowed, feeling embarrassed.

“Oh, don't worry. I figured you'd be busy. No need to apologize; I completely understand” she assured him with a smile.

“But what a lovely girl! You better invite her for coffee; otherwise, I'll do it myself” Johnny encouraged while still smiling, causing (Y/N) to laugh.

“Johnny...”

“I was just kidding,“ he raised his arms in a sign of innocence, “but I'll leave you two alone; I heard there's a sale on floral detergent. I can't miss it!“ he exclaimed so that, without further ado, he walked away from the aisle and left both guys with both children, alone.

“I'm sorry, really. Sometimes Johnny can be... extra,” Taeyong apologized quickly, shaking his head with a smile, “but what he said is true; I wanted to invite you for coffee, but I couldn't find the right moment to call you. I'm sorry for taking so long.”

She smiled sideways and nodded slightly as she placed her hand on the guy's shoulder.

“It's okay. I waited for your call after you said you wouldn't take three weeks to call me this time,” she said, laughing, “but I figured you'd be busy, so no hard feelings.

“Is it still time for me to invite you?” he asked, his big eyes shining. (Y/N) nodded with her cheeks turning red, “How about Saturday afternoon? I know of a café not far from here, and they sell amazing muffins. I'm sure you'll like the place.”

“You've convinced me with the muffins.”

“Of course” Taeyong laughed. “I'll send you the location by text... this time, I'll do it.”

“I'll wait for your message then,” she said, nodding, then staying silent for a few seconds.

Should they say goodbye now? Should he wave his hand? Or leave a kiss on her cheek? They still didn't have the confidence for that, did they? Would it be weird if he did? How complicated everything is!

“Auntie, I want to go now,” the voice of a little boy took them out of their trance, and they changed their view to the kid.

“Oh, of course, my love. Have you had your cereal?” the girl asked, and Jisung nodded, “Okay, then we’ll go,” she assured him, then turned her gaze back to the boy and the little one on his chest, “it's been nice seeing you; give Sun Hee a kiss from me, have a good night.”

“See you on Saturday.”

“See you on Saturday, Taeyong.”

______________________________________________

The boy approached his car where Johnny was leaning against it, waiting for him. Taeyong gave him a dirty look, and the blond raised his arms as he opened the back door.

“Don't look at me like that! “ he pleaded with a smile “I did you a favor, dude!”

“Just don't say anything and put the stuff in the trunk” Taeyong ordered as he placed Sunnie in her car seat.

Johnny obeyed his friend's orders and began to put everything inside the car. After a few minutes, he returned to Taeyong's side, who had already settled Sun Hee comfortably and asleep in her car seat.

“Come on, help me get rid of this thing, it's stuck,” the brunette said as he tried to open one of the zippers of his baby carrier, struggling with it.

His friend approached him even closer and tried to help in a failed attempt; the zipper was stuck, and it didn't seem to want to open even with all the force in the universe.

“Let me try, don't move,” Johnny requested as he held his friend by the back and put one of his hands on the zipper of the carrier, “why won't it come out?”

“What a beautiful family!“ the exclamation of an older lady was heard, causing both boys to look at her. She was looking at them with a tender smile as she waved at them. Then they looked at each other and at their current position, prompting Taeyong to quickly push him away with his hands, and Johnny cleared his throat as he turned around.

“You get rid of that by yourself”

I’m sorry I took too long for posting this!! 😭

Taglist is open, just lemme know if u want to be added! You can ask me something if you want here!

Taglist: @geminiml95 @zooana @cathamada

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ask-the-prose · 2 days

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Writing Mental Health With Compassion

I've gotten a few questions regarding depicting characters with mental health challenges and conditions and I wanted to expand a little more on how to depict these characters with compassion for the real communities represented by these characters.

A little about this guide: this is, as always, coming from a place of love and respect for the writing community and the groups affected by this topic at large. I'm also not coming at this from the outside, I have certain mental illnesses that affect my daily life. With that, I'll say that my perspective may be biased, and as with all writing advice, you should think critically about what is being told to you and how.

So let's get started!

Research

I'm sure we're all tired of hearing the phrase "do your research," but unfortunately it is incredibly important advice. I have a guide that touches on how to do research here, if you need a place to get started.

When researching a mental health condition that we do not experience, we need to do so critically, and most importantly, compassionately. While your characters are not people, they are assigned traits that real people do have, and so your depiction of these traits can have an impact on people who face these conditions themselves.

I've found that reddit is a decent resource for finding threads of people talking about their personal experiences with certain illnesses. For example, bipolar disorder has several subreddits that have very open and candid discussions about bipolar, how it impacts lives, and small things that people who don't have bipolar don't tend to think about.

It's important to note that these spaces are not for you. They are spaces for people to talk about their experiences in a place without judgment or fear or stigma. These are not places for people to give out writing advice. Do NOT flood subreddits for people seeking support with questions that may make others feel like an object to be studied. It's not cool or fair to them for writers to enter their space and start asking questions when they're focused on getting support. Be courteous of the people around you.

Diagnosis

I have the belief that for most stories, a diagnosis for your characters is unnecessary. I have a few reasons for thinking this way.

Firstly, mental health diagnoses are important for treatment, but they're also a giant sign written across your medical documents that says, “I'm crazy!” Doctors may try to remain unbiased when they see mental health diagnoses, but anybody with a diagnosis can say that doctors rarely succeed. This translates to a lot of people never getting diagnoses, never seeking treatment, or refusing to talk about their diagnosis if they do have one.

Secondly, I've seen posts discuss “therapy speak” in fiction, and this is one of those instances where a diagnosis and extensive research may make you vulnerable to it. People don't tend to discuss their diagnoses freely and they certainly don't tend to attribute their behaviors as symptoms.

Finally, this puts you, the writer, into a position where you treat your characters less like people and story devices and more like a list of symptoms and behavioral quirks. First and foremost, your characters serve your story. If they don't feel like people then your characters may fall flat. When it comes to mental illness in characters, the people aspect is the most important part. Mentally ill people are people, not symptoms.

Those are my top three reasons for believing that most characters will never need a specific diagnosis. You will likely never need to depict the difference between bipolar and borderline because the story itself does not need that distinction or to reveal a diagnosis at all. I feel that having a diagnosis in mind for a character has more pitfalls than advantages.

How does treatment work?

Treating mental health conditions may appear in your story. There are a number of ways treatments affect daily life and understanding the levels of care and what those levels treat will help you depict the appropriate settings for your characters.

The levels of care range from minimally restrictive and minimal care to intensive in-patient care in a secure hospital setting.

Regular or semi-regular therapy is considered outpatient care. This is generally the least restrictive. Your characters may or may not also take medications, in which case they may also see a psychiatrist to prescribe those medications. There is a difference between therapists, psychiatrists, and psychologists. Therapists do not prescribe medications, psychiatrists prescribe medications after an evaluation, and psychologists will (sometimes) do both. (I'm US, so this may work differently depending where you are. You should always research the specific setting of your story.) Generally, a person with a mental illness or mental health condition will see both an outpatient therapist and an outpatient psychiatrist for their general continuing care.

Therapists will see their patients anywhere from once in a while as-needed to twice weekly. Psychiatrists will see new patients every few weeks until they report stabilizing results, and then they will move to maintenance check-ins every 90-ish days.

If the patient reports severe symptoms, or worsening symptoms, they will be moved up to more intensive care, also known as IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program). This is usually a group-therapy setting for between 3-7 hours per day between 3-5 days a week. The group-therapy is led by a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) or Licensed Professional Social Worker (LPSW). Groups are structured sessions with multiple patients teaching coping mechanisms and focusing on treatment adjustment. IOP’s tend to expect patients to see their own outpatient psychiatrist, but I've encountered programs that have their own in-house psychiatrists.

If the patient still worsens, or is otherwise needing more intensive care, they'll move up to PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program). This can look different per facility, but I've seen them to be more intensive in hours and content than IOP. They also usually have in-house psychiatrists doing diagnostic psychological evaluations. It's very possible for characters with “mild” symptoms to go long periods of time, even most of their lives, without having had a diagnosis. PHP’s tend to need a diagnosis so that they can address specific concerns and help educate the patient on their condition and how it may manifest.

Next step up is residential care. Residential care is a boarding hospital setting. Patients live in the hospital and focus entirely on treatment. Individual programs may differ in what's allowed in, how much contact the patients are allowed to have, and what the treatment focus is. Residential programs are often utilized for addiction recovery. Good residential programs will care about the basis for the addiction, such as underlying mental health issues that the patient may be self-medicating for. Your character may come away with a diagnosis, or they may not. Residential programs aren't exclusively for addictions though, and can be useful for severe behavioral concerns in teenagers or any number of other concerns a patient may have that manifest chronically but do not require intensive inpatient restriction.

Inpatient hospital stays are the highest level of care, and this tends to be what people are talking about when they tell jokes about “grippy socks.” These programs are inside the hospital and patients are highly restricted on what they can and cannot have, they cannot leave unless approved by the hospital staff (the hospital's psychiatrist tends to have the final say), and contact with the outside world is highly regulated. During the days, there are group therapy sessions and activities structured very carefully to maintain routine. Staff will regulate patient hygiene, food and sleep routines, and alone time.

Inpatient hospital programs are controversial among people with mental illness and mental health concerns. I find that they have use, but they are also not an easy or first step to take when dealing with a mental health condition. Patients are not allowed sharp objects, metal objects, shoelaces, cutlery, and pens or pencils. Visitors are not allowed to bring these items in, staff are not allowed these items either. This is for the safety of the patients. Typically, if someone is involuntarily admitted into the inpatient hospital program, it is due to an authority (the hospital staff) deeming the patient as a danger to themselves or others. Whether they came in of their own will (voluntary) or not does not matter in how the program operates. Everyone is treated the same. If someone is an active danger to themselves, then they may be on 24-hour suicide watch. They are not allowed to have any time alone. No, not even for the bathroom, or while sleeping, or during group sessions.

Inpatient Hospital Programs

This is a place of high curiosity for those who have never been admitted into inpatient care, so I'd like to explain a little more in detail how these programs work, why they're controversial, but how they can be useful in certain situations. I do have personal experience in this area, but as always, your mileage may vary.

When admitting, hospital staff are the final say. Not the police. The police hold some sway, but most often, if someone is brought in by the police, they are likely to be admitted. They are only involuntarily admitted when the situation demands: the staff have determined the person to be an imminent danger to themselves or others. This is obviously subjective, and can easily be abused. A good program with decent staff will do everything they can to convince the patient to admit voluntarily if they feel it is necessary, but ultimately if the patient declines and the staff don't feel they can make the clinical argument that admittance is necessary, the patient is free to leave. It should be noted that doctors and clinicians have to worry about possibly losing their licenses to practice. They don't want to fuck around with involuntary admittance if they don't have to, and they don't want potentially dangerous people to walk away.

Once admitted, the patient will have to remove their clothing and put on a set of hospital scrubs. These are mostly made of paper, and most often do not have pockets, but I have seen sets that do have pockets (very handy, tbh). They are not allowed to take anything into the hospital wing except disability-required devices such as glasses, hearing aids, mobility aids, etc. Most programs will require removing piercings, but not all of them, in my experience.

The nurses will also do a physical examination, where they will make note of any open wounds, major scars, tattoos, and other skin abrasions that may be relevant.

The patient will then be led to their bed, where they will receive any approved clothing items from outside, a copy of their patient rights, and a copy of the floor code of conduct and rules, a schedule, and any other administrative information necessary for the program to run efficiently and legally.

Group sessions include group-therapy, activities, coping skills, anger management, anxiety management, and for some reason, karaoke. There is a lot of coloring involved, but only with crayons. A good program will focus heavily on skills and therapeutic activities. Bad programs will phone it in and focus on karaoke and activities. Most hospitals will have a chaplain, and some will include a religious group session. I've never attended these, so I can't speak for them.

Unspoken rules are the hidden pieces of the inpatient programs that patients tend to find out during their first visit. There is no leaving the program until the doctor agrees to it. The doctor will only agree to it if they deem you ready to leave, and you are only ready to leave if you have been compliant to treatment and have seen positive results in the most dangerous symptoms (homicidal or suicidal ideations). Noncompliance can look like: refusing your prescribed medications (which you have the right to do at any time for any reason. That does not mean that there won't be consequences. This is a particularly controversial point.), refusing to attend groups (chapel is not included in this point, but that doesn't mean it's actually discounted. Another controversial point.), violent or disruptive outbursts such as yelling or throwing things, and refusing to sleep or eat at the approved and appointed times. All of this may sound like the hospital is restricting your rights beyond reason, but I've seen the use, and I've seen the abuse. Medications are sometimes necessary, and often patients seriously prefer having medication. Groups are important to a person's treatment, and refusing to go can be a sign of noncompliance or worsening symptoms. If someone is too depressed or anxious to go to group, then they're probably not ready to leave the hospital where the structure is gone and they must self-regulate their treatment. Violent or disruptive outbursts tend to be a sign of worsening symptoms in general, but even the best of us lose our tempers from time to time when put into a highly stressful situation like an inpatient hospital stay. The hospital is supposed to be a place of healing, for many it is. But for many more, it is a place of systematic abuse and restriction.

Discharge processes can be long and arduous and INCREDIBLY stressful for the patient. Oftentimes, they won't know their discharge date until the day of, or perhaps the day before. Though the date can change at any time. The discharge process requires the supervising psychiatrist to meet with the treatment team and then the patient to determine if the patient had progressed enough to be safely discharged. Discharge also requires a set outpatient plan in place, such as a therapy appointment within a week, a psychiatrist visit, or admittance into a lower level of care. This is where social workers are involved. Patients are not allowed access to cell phones or the internet. They cannot make their own appointments with their outpatient care providers without a phone number and phone access. Some floors will have phone access for this reason, others will insist the social worker arrange appointments and discharge plans. Social workers are often incredibly overworked, with several patients on their caseload.

The patient cannot be discharged until the social worker has coordinated the discharge plan to the doctor's approval. Most often, unfortunately, the patient rarely receives regular communication regarding the progress of their discharge. I've been discharged with as much as a day's notice to two hours notice.

Part 2 Coming Soon

This guide got longer than expected! Out of respect for my followers dashboard, I will be cutting it here and adding a Part 2 later on.

If you find that there are more specific questions you'd like answered, or topics you'd like covered, send an ask or reply to this post with what you'd like to see in Part 2.

– Indy

#writing advice #writing tips #writing resources #writeblr #amwriting #asktheprose #ask the prose #writing mental health #mental health #writing with compassion #writing mental illness #writing compassionately

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