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#i want to keep the connections i made so badly but idk how
queenie-official · 5 months
Note
Okay so you’re one of the only ones I’ve seen mention AJ recently so I wanted to come to you with this thought. You know the ‘write a prisoner’ website it went around tiktok for a little? Well I was thinking, in a universe where his ending is different (no spoilers just in case your other followers haven’t watched it) reader finds him on the write a prisoner site and they become penpals. You’re able to develop a genuine connection with one another and he’s able to talk and vent to you about everything that’s gone wrong/right in his life and you’re able to do the same thing. He ends up writing you sappy little poems and love notes eventually cause he realizes you are more than just a penpal to him. At some point you end up surprising him with an actual visit and it just solidifies his feelings being able to finally see you in person. If we’re going off of the mafia!au for him, then maybe he ends up having some of his men on the outside start to keep tabs on you..solely for protection purposes of course not because he wants to make sure he’s the only guy you’re talking to. There’s a couple videos I saw where the girls were still able to be surprised with flowers on the doorstep somehow by their penpal and I definitely feel like he’d do the same thing. There’d be a line in one of his notes afterwards of like ‘Did you get my little surprise, sweetheart? Just wait till you see how much I can really spoil you once I’m out of here.’ Ahhh maybe it’s just me that gets all giggly at this idea. Idk just a little thought 😅
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OMG STOP I LOVE THIS SM!!
okay so ima break this up a bit because it’s easier for my brain to focus 😭 will start with looking at it from Aj’s character and then from if it was Mafia!Ani
(i’d also like to state idk how the ‘write a prisoner’ website works exactly but i feel like it’s pretty self explanatory so ima just roll with how it works in my mind)
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Aj: becoming pen pals with a prisoner and bonding is a lot easier then you went into the website thinking, you only really go in with the fact you’ll be speaking with a criminal. once you see his photo your interest is peaked (i mean how could it not look at him)
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anyway you guys start off with simple topics when messaging like favorite hobbies and Aj mentions to you that he has a love for playing the piano- (idk about you guys but there’s nothing hotter then a man who can play an instrument and play it well) maybe he even makes a promise to you that when he gets out he’ll play for you.
and Aj is such a sweetheart he so would write you poems maybe he starts off with something simple and sweet that can be interpreted in a friend way because for as confident as a guy he is you make him nervous. he only started writing you poems once you two where close enough for him to feel safe and be open with his thoughts and how he got into this situation. and honestly you don’t think he’s to bad of guy after all he never went out of his way to kill anyone during a heist and he always made sure to donate a percentage to charity organizations, so you’re able to push the fact he’s a criminal aside.
as your relationship with him progresses and his friendly poems slowly turn into something more you realize how badly you want to visit him. to see his pretty face in person (even if it is behind a glass frame) and to hear the voice you’d been imagining in your head. so with all the courage you can muster you do some digging and make plans to surprise him. Oh boy are you grateful you went through with it- seeing him in person was almost surreal. somehow he was more handsome in person and furthermore his gravely voice was definitely hotter then you ever could of imagined. he’s a smooth talker, seemingly more bold in person then he was through a screen (which shocked you since with most people it’d be the opposite). oh and when he sees you… sees your smile- the way you flutter your lashes when listening to him speak- he knows he’s done for, knows that there’s no one else he wants more in his life and even more importantly he cannot wait for his release date.
you make the effort to visit him as often as you can…
Mafia!Anakin: we all collectively agree Ani is a possessive man- even if he doesn’t always show it but Mafia Ani, oh that man isn’t afraid to show he’s possessive in fact as far as he’s concerned he owns you. so to no one’s surprise he 100% has men on the outside looking after you. making sure you’re safe, single unbothered by those around you.
Anakin has connections everywhere, i mean he’s the top boss. so if he wants to surprise you with something he will, and he’s got the money for it so honestly what’s stopping him?
waking up and getting ready to start your day only to here your doorbell go off, opening your front door to see a huge bouquet of flowers. it really confuses you at first- i mean you don’t really talk to other guys (probably because every time you did they suspiciously disappeared- if you had their number and messaged them all they’d say is they moved away) so who are they from. taking them inside and seeing a note on the ground that must of fallen out of the bouquet your question is answered.
‘Hope you like them Pretty girl’
it’s not even signed but you know exactly who it’s from. of course you confront him at your next visit, and once you do all he does is give you a sly little smile through the glass as you both hold the phone next to your ears.
‘just wait till you see how much i can really spoil you once i’m out of here’
ugh that resonantes with me sm 😩 he 100% would say that and then swiftly move the conversation along as you blush silently, something about how he said it or maybe it’s the look in his eyes that leaves you flustered.
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i think i ranted a bit to much about this 😀 my apologies huns 😭 but anyways you’re so real for this and thank you for dropping it in my asks 🫶🏼
you’re actually my first ask too so 🤭🤭 thank you for the absolute serotonin boost this gave me Xx <3
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lustkillers · 7 months
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hii!! i really liked your gabe fanfic!
can I request a fic with charlie walker?
basically the reader gets all hot and bothered but charlie is out late at night on cinema club business (ghost face shit) and the reader calls him and they have phone sex.
thank u love<3
DROP YOUR SHIFT AND PICK UP THE PHONE!
⊹₊ ⋆ summary. - how could he ever say no to her?
┃ tags/warnings. ࿐ ❪ nsfw freak shit, phone sex, masturbation. charlie accidentally missing a date, a bit angsty if you squint. idk what else to tag i'm so sorry LMAOO ❫
⊹₊ ⋆ pairing - charlie walker x fem!reader
⊹₊ ⋆ note - thank you sm!! i was going to write this immediately, but i got so held up with homework 😭 but literally screamed when i saw this request 'cause 1. i love charlie walker, and 2. it's my first request :) when i saw your request i immediately thought of cologne by beabadoobee... but hopefully i did your request justice!! requests are open!!
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THE night was silent, cold, and dark. Charlie had promised that he would come back before the sun set, but it was 10 PM, and there were no signs of him.
At 10:30, he had sent you a message saying that he was held up with cinema club. You tried to be understanding, but the feeling that bubbled up in your core said otherwise.
You had worn a black set of lingerie on top of loose clothing, his clothing to be exact. You wanted to surprise him with a night of love and passion, but now here you were alone in the dark living room.
Your thighs squished together, sending a jolt of pleasure through your whole body. You thought of Charlie and the way his hands felt on your skin, and you wanted to feel that again. Your breaths were becoming staggered and heavy as you closed your eyes, imagining the way Charlie tasted on your lips.
Now you were alone, with your thoughts that plagued your head. You wanted nothing more than to have Charlie there with you, but for now it was just a daydream.
You needed him, badly.
You moved to the bedroom, and looked around for something that could give you a bit of pleasure in his absence. You hadn't wanted it to come down to this, but your desperation was starting to take over.
A thought bubbled up in your mind, immediately finding your phone. 'He wouldn't mind calling, right?' You thought, and you grabbed the device and punched in Charlie's number.
It took him a few rings to pick up, but when he did your heart fluttered. “Hey babe,” He said with a smile in his voice. He sounded out of breath, which was uncommon if you were just possibly watching movies for a club.
Your breathing was erratic, "H-Hey..." You said, trying to keep yourself composed. You couldn't shake the image of Charlie out of your head and when he spoke it only became more vivid.
However, it felt like your hand had a mind of its own, snaking down your body and stopping right at your slick pussy. You were embarrassed but it felt like what you wanted, and the vibration of Charlie's voice only made it easier to let go.
"H-How's the club going...?" The shakiness in your voice betrayed you, as you tried so hard to not let him know what you were doing. Charlie went silent for a few seconds before he chuckled, and spoke more softly.
"It's going... alright, but I'm more interested in what you're doing right now." On the other line of your phone, his voice sounded... muffled.
Your face flamed up, and your fingers moved faster. You had to bite your lip just to suppress the moan that was threatening to escape.
"I'm just..uh... lying in bed," You lied, hoping he wouldn't notice the conviction behind it.
Charlie chuckled again, "Okay then. Well I'll let you get back to it then," He said, his voice now a low whisper.
Your eyes widened, "N-No!" You almost screamed, "Don't..uh...don't hang up yet." You moaned out.
Charlie hummed, knowing what your true intentions were and it felt like his voice was directly connected to your pussy as your moans grew louder.
His pants grew tighter, his cock pushing against the fabric of his pants. He imagined what it would feel like to bury himself in you, and he couldn't take it anymore.
Fumbling around with his ghostface outfit, he took off his mask, and removed the gloves he had on. Lastly, his hands found itself unbuttoning his pants, the palm of his hand wrapped around his cock.
Pre-cum was already leaking out of his hard cock, his hand moving in a slow pace up and down. His eyes remained closed while he imagined sinking himself deep in you, your tight, wet walls wrapping around him.
On the other end, you could hear him heavily breathing, and it worked you up real bad. Your fingers went in and out of your soaking pussy, the noises being picked up by the phone.
The only thing heard between each lines was the panting and moaning each of you were giving out. Charlie's breathing became more intense as he came closer to the edge, his hand going faster with each stroke.
Your fingers sped up inside you, tears almost forming in your eyes as you reached peak euphoria.
"M'gonna cum, Charlie...!" A cry came out your throat as your back slightly arched upwards.
Charlie's breathing was much louder than yours at this point, the idea of him coming in your mouth or all over your face came to mind making you wetter.
"Come for me… Fuck." He murmured, a deep groan escaping his lips as he reached his climax, cum spilling out of him.
You followed soon after, quivering and trembling as you experienced the most breathtaking orgasm. The two of you were left panting on the other end, sighs being heard every now and then until it slowly simmered down to an awkward silence.
Charlie broke the silence, "I'll be there in twenty." Hanging up.
Before you could say anything, the line went dead.
On Charlie's end, blood and cum was all over his hands.
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selineram3421 · 10 months
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Headcanons of Alastor Finding the Merch
Requested
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Alastor X Human Reader
🔥Also starring Arson Cat🔥
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Yay! Let's get started!
Its been a good while since The Radio Demon was summoned.
The human that did was kind enough to let him stay in their humble abode until they could find a way to send him back home.
On that first day his shadows made themselves comfortable in the dark corners and spaces through out the floor, keeping eyes on the human and some chasing after the cat.
The feline did not like him. That was until he did something that caught their attention.
🔥 Fire meow meow.
Now, he was helping the human with cooking recipes. Shopping on occasion, and the human even bought him a radio from his era.
"I thought it'd be nice if you had something familiar in your room.", they said as they handed him the radio.
"Do you need me to kill someone?", he asks.
"No?", they respond confused. "Its a gift. I don't expect for you to do something for me after."
It was odd. People did things that would benefit them, but here was this person doing something out of genuine kindness. Something he hasn't experienced in a long time.
"Thank you. I shall take care of it."
💞Quick POV switch💞
You stared at the screen for a good while, debating whether you should purchase the item.
New merch was released and you wanted to get that stained glass looking pin so badly. It just looked so pretty and you are a sucker for stained glass. One of the greatest art forms out there.
I could get this..but what if I'm not home and Alastor gets it? Would he open it? You think as you're adding it to cart, remembering that your other packages that you've gotten were not opened. Nah. It'll be fine.
And you get the new pin with a few other items.
*cackles* 💞POV switch💞
Alastor was trying to figure out how to work your record player radio.
He knew he had to press a button but couldn't figure out which one. The human had shown him but then he forgot. The record he wanted to play was already put in but it was the damn buttons that had him at a loss.
"Is it this one?", he mumbled, moving his hand to press the button.
Then there was a sudden knock on the door.
With a quick snap of his fingers, Alastor was now in his human disguise and made his way to the door.
"Coming!", he said before looking through the peep hole, finding no one but a box. "Hm, that might be the stand mixer.", he mumbled as he opened the door.
At some point, the human had mentioned buying a stand mixer.
Bringing in the box, he found it was surprisingly light. Shutting the door and setting it down on the counter, Alastor returned to his demon form and tapped his microphone.
The eye of the mic opened up, looking at the demon with a questionable glare.
"Connect to the human's phone, they've got a package."
The mic's eye does a quick roll, slightly annoyed but does as told and connects to the phone.
Idk fanfic logic or something. I'm tired.
"Hello?", the human's voice comes through.
"Afternoon! You have received a package just now and I was wondering if it's the stand mixer?", he asks, looking down at the box. "Its somewhat small."
"Hmm.. Let me check.", they say and there's some fumbling on the other end.
The deer demon waits patiently as the human looks for the "electronic mail", or e-mail as they call it.
"It might be it. I did get a confirmation.", they mumble. "Can you open it and check?"
"Of course.", he says, cutting the tape on the box with his claws and opening the box.
After moving the bubble wrap, he pauses when seeing a familiar key printed on a scarf.
"That's strange."
"What?"
He picks up the scarf and inspects it, then he looks at the other items, finding a pin with his face on it.
"Did you have something costum made to look like me?", he asks.
"AA-!", the line goes dead.
"Hello?"
😱 *dun dunn duuunnnn* POV switch💞
You quickly called in an emergency with your boss (who thankfully let you leave early) and rushed your way home.
On the way, your thoughts were going wild.
Why didn't I get an e-mail from the damn store!? Shit shit shit shit shit shit!!! I'm going to have to explain everything. Oh god.
You get home, opening the door and peaking your head in. Not seeing anyone to greet you.
Should I be worried? You wonder as you enter and close the door behind you.
After putting all your stuff down, there's a red silhouette by the record player. Not a second later, he turns around.
"You got back quickly. Could you help remind me of what buttons to press? I seem to have gotten confused.", Alastor says and focuses on the record player again.
"Ok..", you say and go over to help, telling him what button to press to change from radio to the record player.
"Finally!", he says once the music starts playing.
Looking around, you find the box with the shark printed on it on the kitchen counter. Along with all the merch you bought taken out of it. Walking up to it, all you can think of is..
Fuck.
"Oh yes, did you get it costum made? Its quite nice.", he says from right behind you.
"Um..about that.", you say and turn your body to face him but do not look him in the eye. "I've got to tell you something."
🙃 I would feel terrified. Would you?
You both sat on the couch quietly. Just facing forward and not making eye contact.
Its been a good minute after explaining the different dimensions and cartoons/animation that he's from.
Not daring to make any sound or sudden movements, you wait for him to say something.
.....
Which might take a bit more time.
"So.."
Nevermind.
"I am to understand that I somehow crossed dimensions, landing here on a different Earth from the one I know?"
"Mhm.", you nod.
"But there are a few similarities with the serial killers, demons and angels?"
"Yep."
"And not everyone believes in them like on the Earth I came from and the sins are the same, correct?"
"Yeah, I think?"
"Interesting..", he mumbles. "And I am from a cartoon?"
You nod with another hum of agreement.
It goes quiet again.
Now feeling a little less anxious, you take a few breaths and fiddle with the hem of your shirt to distract yourself.
"I have one question."
"Hm?", you look over to find the Radio Demon also looking at you.
"How did I end up here?", he asks. "If I recall correctly, you said that summoning wasn't your intention when I had arrived."
How did he end up here? You think. I wasn't summoning anything. The only spell I was working on was an-
You freeze in place.
"Oh fuck."
Then your phone made a notification noise. It wad the e-mail letting you know the package for the hazbin hotel merch was delivered.
The stand mixer didn't come until the next day.
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I want it so bad. 😭
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~Seline, the person.
Taglist@
@bisexualboba @ducky-died-inside @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @+?
ML for Alastor🎙
🔥Arson Cat🔥
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starsinmylatte · 5 months
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Hiiii I just recently discovered your blog and omg your writing is so good?? Damn I’m impressed
Idk if you’re taking requests, if not just take this as a general ask, but I’m obsessed with the idea of Silco and a reader who is like a mother to Jinx after I read that “soft” (i think that was the name?) fic… and I was wondering, how do you think it would get to that point? Surely it must’ve been hard for Silco to accept that this woman would just come into the last drop demanding to see his little devil of a daughter and taking care of her… enemies to lovers much? Anyway… just wanted to hear what are your thoughts in how they would come around to become a couple
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Ooooh, thank you so much for reaching out, my darling anon!! I appreciate your sweet compliment so much. It made me smile so much during my crappy week 💜
I’d love to write a longer piece about this (and I absolutely will), so I’ll just leave you with a few thoughts for now!
Here's a link to the Soft fic mentioned in the ask! (it is absolutely NSFW, be warned) If you'd like to be added to my taglist for when I post the full thing, click here
Pairing: Silco x fem!reader
Warnings: None, really. This is SFW with the barest hint of suggestive content at the end
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At some point, Silco realizes that he either needs to eliminate everyone from Jinx's past life or he needs to use them to connect with her. This strange, incredibly vexing woman is the strongest link to Jinx's past that she still has.
I'm sure that Jinx has a very hard time in the first few weeks after Silco's takeover. It's a struggle to get her to eat, bathe, and just generally take care of herself. She opens up to Silco some, but to his immense frustration that damned woman just keeps showing up and Jinx instantly calms for her.
Silco still has that choice to make. He can forbid the woman from returning (which she's very unlikely to agree to without force), outright get rid of her, or he can just accept her help and try to manage her involvement in Jinx's life.
I think Silco mulls it over quite a bit, especially when Jinx inevitably shuts him out, and he can't connect with her in any way. Killing the woman would be relatively simple, and maybe Jinx could move past the devastating loss, but he can't stop thinking about how his new daughter curls up in her arms.
Silco tells himself he's just being practical, and maybe he is, but the softness with which the woman holds Jinx is the first small chip in his armor towards her.
She does annoy the hell out of him, though, as the only person who can seemingly defy the most feared kingpin in the undercity. He also finds this more attractive than he'd care to admit, which makes him even more sour about the whole thing.
Meanwhile, the woman continues to just show up unannounced to The Last Drop. In an attempt to gain some form of control, Silco finally just snaps and tells her to come on two specific days of the week. Jinx cheers, the woman smiles at him, and Silco instantly realizes that was probably her plan all along. Damnit.
Continuing on with the soup idea from the fic, I think she and Jinx bake together a lot. Silco may have a hard time getting Jinx to eat at every other time, but the little girl absolutely devours anything the woman makes her.
She always leaves out a plate for Silco, which he doesn't eat after that first night. The first reason is because he's petty and still doesn't want to like the woman, and the second is because Jinx will eat the leftovers.
Sevika absolutely loves her, and so do the rest of Silco's staff because the woman has bribed gifted them all with homemade food. They all know her as a woman with a heart of gold who is fiercely protective of Jinx. She's not a threat Silco couldn't handle if he had to, but Sevika does derive some secret pleasure from how badly the incredibly lovely woman vexes her boss.
The first time Silco loses his temper at her in front of Jinx, the little girl cries, and the woman immediately brandishes a rolling pin at him. The sight makes Jinx break out into a small fit of giggles, and Silco just freezes and walks away, muttering under his breath.
Silco can't stop thinking about her, which frustrates him to no end. She's kind but will stand up to a drug kingpin with a fucking rolling pin, she loves his daughter like her own, and she's annoyingly good at cooking. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she stayed.....
I absolutely do think the more Silco realizes he actually likes the woman, the nastier he behaves towards her. He finds some way to rationalize it, but the truth is that he's trying to manufacture a reason to hate her.
I think it all comes to a breaking point one night after the woman puts Jinx to bed. Maybe the woman tries to make some gesture of goodwill towards Silco before she leaves, but he lashes out at her. It starts a yelling match between the two, and they start getting closer together as the argument grows more heated.......
And this is where I'll leave you ;)
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pebiejeebies · 2 months
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FINALLY REDESIGNED MY BABY!!
Fuorzy!! Look at her :D
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… wait.. this is too.. boring.. hmmmm
hmmm.. it wouldn’t hurt to..
well..
destroy an innocent little lovable sona to the point she loses sanity and gets forced to merge with announcer..
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The line less art was her first ever appearance. Innocent. Happy.
The outlined art is, well.. the Aftermath.
Hhhhheeeeehhhh, Huge difference huh..? I really, really destroyed her didn’t I? :(
Lore if ur interested!!
(Tw,, robot gore..??? Surgery,, uhh test subject horror—?? Idk man)
First of all:
WHAT IS A ROBOTERSTIEN??
It’s a robot Frankenstein, and I used the word Roboter and not Robot because it was German :P (idk let me mix random words together like they’re my shampoo and conditioner bottles)
She was playing in the equation playground for a while, until she strayed too far
She bumped into a bear, and since she struggles to see clearly because she’s cross eyed.. well.. I think you get the picture.
Xeir legs got completely snapped and seperated off of her, and her arms and hands were scratched heavily, and bent, and her.. uh.. ears I guess? Welll……
the only reason she survived was because there were objects camping nearby, who were professionals in hunting down bears and such
As much as the bear hurt Fuorzy, she didn’t want to see it die, so she convinced the objects with her little to no consciousness, and they let the bear go
She wakes up in a lab, with professional robotic scientists, they fixed up her limbs and bandages her missing ‘ear’, and just when she thought that they were too kind to offer all of this for free..
They didn’t. They told her to pay, either in any currency (which she doesn’t even know what it is) or..
She becomes a test subject.
She disliked the idea, but she really, REALLY wanted to live and keep her new cool limbs!
Days, weeks, and a month or two pass, every day they’d make a surgery on her, either cut open her missing ear, or her back and tail (Do know, canon version of both phases had the same back, just the first appearance didnt have the stitches)
Or they’d try new codes and chips on her
It doesn’t matter if anything happened to them, the scientists were only using them to test out things they’d do on the projects and robots they wanted to make
And with the lack of nice treatment, constant forgetfulness of her starvation and exhaustion, it finally made her tick
The scientists completely forgot that she was, ALIVE, so they never really made sure she was stabilized well
The scientists are all gathered, as they speak excitedly about this test and how it would work
They make her unconscious, and after a week of a heavy forced deep sleep, she wakes up, with a— A FUCKING ROBOT ON HER HEAD..
HUH. They tested if she could connect announcer to her BRAIN, and the only way it would work was.. well… yeah.. owchie…
She wasn’t supposed to wake up at that time, she looked at herself in the floor’s reflection, and instead of crying and looking at herself traumatized, she smiled
She ripped the chains from the bed off of her, and completely..
Lost
Their
M I N D
She started killing EVERYONE she saw
everyone who had a white long, coat
She was about to get shot by a scientist, only for one of the other scientists she tried to kill push her away
The shot reflected back onto the scientist and drops dead
Then she stared at the scientist that saved them
Rose, he helped her up and smiled warmly
“About time they got what they deserved”
He helped them out of the lab, and they both went their separate ways
She smiled as she wiped off the blood on her face, and stared back at her Home, Sweet, Home.
I knoe I probably wrote this badly,, but I have a headache sooo bear with me here ….
Alrighty uuhhh byebyee <3333
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three--rings · 5 months
Text
So it turns out there were a lot of things from S2 I was waiting to pass judgement on until I saw how they played out and...I ended up not thrilled about. And it's all these little things that keep bothering me.
Things I'm not happy with in OFMD S2:
-Jim and Olu feel retconned into not being in love. Like I know we want to talk about happy polycule but it feels like they aren't even very close this season? They were even more of a secondary ship than Lucius and Pete in S1 but we got essentially no good Jim/Olu stuff in S2. Instead we got the Olu/Zheng Yi Sao romance which on paper sounds good, but lacked chemistry. Especially from Olu's side. I feel like they kept repeating that "break in your day" thing cause they didn't have anything else. IDK weird weird decisions were made. I don't mind the Jim/Archie stuff at all but that was also not given any real romance time. They kissed and then I guess that was that?
-While on the subject of Zhang Yi Sao...why was she there? Like, don't get me wrong, I love her character and her inclusion in the show, but while the build-up in the first few episodes was great, then...they did basically nothing with her. Her entire plan was foiled by a moron in a split second and then..IDK she's now just riding on the Revenge and not even in charge? She's come way down in the world and I don't like it.
-Izzy dying. I don't mind the death scene itself, (though i wanted Izzy's friends on the crew more involved) but I think having him die shifts the genre and is disappointing in a way that feels unlike this show. more to be said obviously but not in this post.
-Speaking of that scene I grow more and more annoyed with Izzy saying "they love you, Ed." Not because it's not a great sentiment that would be narratively meaningful, but because it's NOT DEMONSTRABLY TRUE. Who loves Ed on that crew? Maybe Fang? There was absolutely no moments between Ed and crew after ep 3. They tolerate him for Stede's sake is all I can say. They love Stede. They love Izzy. And then Ed just leaves them and they are probably relieved.
-the way the central problem the whole season with Ed and Stede was communication but they never actually do anything about that, just declare victory.
-the way there was no climax or resolution with any antagonist in the last episode, they just barely escape, swear revenge like they're gonna head into battle, and then retire. Which makes ZERO sense and it bothers me SO MUCH.
-The lack of Stede and Ed costuming. IDK if it's because I've been writing a fic for a year centered around the clothing but like the show feels incomplete if they're not getting to dress up. I was looking forward to Ed wearing more than his leathers and we got a rice sack. This is entirely a personal gripe and not important but, yeah.
-Zero focus on the crew and no new info about any of them. I was really, really looking forward to getting more backstory, more personal info on characters like Roach, Frenchie, Wee John, but no.
And yanno, the thing is that I'm not unhappy with what S2 GAVE us. I like most of it. I love eps 1-6. Though 6 is showing the pacing issues badly. But what I miss is what we DIDN'T get. None of the stuff on screen was bad per se or couldn't have fit into a very excellent, cohesive season of TV. But I feel like all the connective tissue, all the thematic resolution, all the stuff that would have made it shine was missing.
Like they had a bunch of notecards of great scenes and filmed them but forgot to write the parts to connect them in a meaningful way? IDK this season feels a little like a first draft?
Not eps 1-3 though. I feel like they were perfect, and then they ran out of time/energy to polish the rest. (4-5 were also great, but they could have fit in with the rest better ultimately.)
I feel like people who are happy with this season are like 'we got this moment and this scene!' and that's great and cool and I also love that moment but I'm still left unsatisfied by the whole, yanno. Sigh.
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chaifootsteps · 4 months
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sorry I’m giving you another ask
But I don’t get why some fans have a hard time separating the art form the artist. (The Stans I mean not casual fans or former fans) like I get really loving both shows and the excitement for Hazbin Hotel (I kind of am guilty pleasure i won’t keep my expectations too high and you can’t blame me for being burnt out from season 2 of Helluva boss)
Like it’s possible to just support everyone else that worked on the show except for Viv. I feel like that’s why I still have a connection to it… i legit believe everyone else worked hard on it and Viv did the bare minimum. You can’t blame animation mistakes since those designs are tricky to animate. (viv BADLY needs to simplify that shit )
I mean it’s kind of how I feel about John K, I love Ren and Stimpy since everyone else out their heart and soul to it than he ever did. (While everything else he made is shit. He only got lucky with that show since he had other people help him)
Admittedly, I too gave Viv the benefit but it’s been slowly decaying… I had to remind myself treat her how you did with John K.
Still enjoy my hazbin/Helluva ocs and fanart and idk I like to make AUs that fix canon since that’s what me and some of my friends are doing. We enjoy the characters and shows but we don’t like Viv 🙃🙃🙃 (also we bond over our mutual hate for Stolas )
I also think people shouldn’t pressure someone to separate the art from the artist either. That should be the personals choice, I do get why it may be hard for others to do that.
I just think these fans should at least not worship Viv since that leads to unhealthy parasocial relationship. Also I want the fandom to STOP promoting toxic positivity and let people not like things.
I am so nervous af to share my Heaven AU for Hazbin hotel on twitter for this reason 🙃🙃🙃 and I worry if i critique things, they’ll act like piss babies and bully me away.
Make your thing, Anon. Share it and have fun with it and if Viv or her toxic stans don't like it, tell them to piss up a rope.
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withahappyrefrain · 1 month
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Alright Abby you needed the thoughts/thots and I'm here to deliver (lol).
Bob is so connected to the land it's not even funny. Mans will be out at all hours of the day in spring, summer and fall, looking at the plants, the soil and all that. He even keeps a little journal full of the plants and flowers, all of it drawn and written in his own hand. He'll even be rattling off facts about all the plants to you while you're looking through it.
He loves taking you out in the field in spring and summer to get all the brush and debris cleared away from the year before. He's especially tentative about his Meemaw's rosebushes that she gave you and Bob for your wedding. All kinds of wildflowers grow in and around your property, Bob's favorite being the bright red indian paintbrush because of the colors and because of how soft and fuzzy they are.
You guys are never wanting for vegetables because come spring, Bob knows how to make that garden burst to life (literally if you take a dead fish or some kinda fish based fertilizer and mix it into the soil, the plants go nuts). He loves when you join him in the corn field to pick the corn for the neighbors and the farmers' markets and the two of you even made little corn husk dolls for his nieces. The fruit orchards are always fun to go through, full of apples, peaches, berries and anything else that can be easily grown.
Abby there's so much more I could add to this but the spring fever has hit and I'm itching to get outside (lol).
YES HE HAS SUCH A GREEN THUMB
Idk what the Navy regulations are, but I swear when he's deployed he has at least three plants in his dorm!! If something is wrong with your plant he's able to immediately identify the issue!
God I want to go to the farmer's market so badly! He knows all the farmers!! He asks how their family is doing!
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skybristle · 5 months
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I’m actually going to bed now but infodump so I can read it in the morning. Go nuts
this is a bit hard to understand since obviously *i* have all of the conext of their cahracter and am just spitballing from the mind so please feel free to ask for elaboration anywhere i love talking about my silly guys
but. i think a lot about how i often potray messenger as very,,, jaded and exhausted. and it's true !! it is!!! they're so fucking exhausted. i mean, i would be pretty damn annoyed and tired too if i was constantly the one handed down things, especially regarding their imposed responsibilties in the republic. but. man. nothing's keeping them here. in fact, their loved ones often urge them to rest and quit, none as much as their father which in a lot of ways they're doing this all for. but they will keep fighting. they cannot lay down as long as thy are needed. stemming from a childhood of having worth assigned to productivity especially as someone disabled [OBVIOUDLY NOT PV DOING THAT. I WANT TO CLARIFY. MESSENGER IS ADOPTED] has had far reaching consequences now that they have something to care for, countless things to lose, feelings of obligation, their position as the connecting thread. literally, as the royal messenger, and one of the founders of the republic [unwillingly as it was].
idk. they started off unlearning. beloved deeply by all the kingdoms, engrossed in their cultures, adopted and held dear by the ancients, a symbol of their unity. and then pure vanilla urges them to go to the white lily grove, which is suddenly innaccessable. they don't connect the dots. and then there's war, fracturing the skies.
they were, what, 15? if that? and here they are. darting across skies weaving under and over magical projectiles with the only moments of rest being when they can entrust their wings to propel them on their own. they're one of the few winged people they have [besides gc, who is obviously more useful as a direct messenger]. their role taught them the continent, these lands, the people in it and their problems. and all of that is turned against them in the worst way possible. they care. they care so fucking much. they believe any fault, any death, can be attributed to a failure of theirs. and it ruins them. when they turn from the airship docks and fly directly into the heat of the storm, where the magic rips them apart down to their structural magic, raising the alarm bell, they *know* it's likely a suicide mission, but its okay. they helped people. they were useful. they made up for all of their wrongs. they have so so much hope and faith and love for the world but believe they are a dismissable cost to seeing it through, and the people around them are forced into a position where they must just watch them tear themself apart because they *need* to, and are brilliantly infalliable, and are so important in such a desprate time they cannot rest.
i think a lot about how, after they manage to survive the fall of the vanilla kingdom, stumbling back to the airship and crashlanding with horrific magical burns, stunted mortality, a few extra eyes,shattered arm, a broken magic gift, and constant chronic pain on top of their mobility aids being badly damaged from the storm + from pure vanilla's 'death' effecting the magic in them, they fucking GET UP. they hear secondhand the issues of the infant republic, how nobody's getting anywhere, and they believe earnestly in good faith that this arrangement *can* be made and helped. this kid doesn't know what they're doing, as they haul themself up and walk off, wings dragging, to the council table. they cannot rest yet. their father is dead. their sister is dead. there's no true vanillian heir, yes, they renounced that long ago, but they know their charm and hope direly they can pull this mess together. and they're right!
they are drowning. there's a reason their goodbye note, when they finally break and drop out a window only to fly off into the endless, blissfully silent night skies, is misinterpreted by many as a suicide note.
and, hell, when they retreat to the silence of the grove, deathly afraid of responsibility coming back to eat them alive and seeking complete isolation where if they're ignorant, they don't have to know what they're needed for now [they still feel guilt], they end up finding out the truth regarding white lily [they've always been startling intellegent, and reading trhough all the experiment logs and old letters *they delivered*, even if they're only getting one side,,, they can connect the dots]. and they can't feel angry. they did this all for pure vanilla- for the ancients- for everything. he lied to them. and yet they can't exactly hate a dead man, can they?
until pure vanilla is alive, and they know it, and everyrhing jumps back to life, including their obligations, and their feelings of betrayal. they pressure pv into fessing up and *they* are in large responsibile for odyssey, like, yeah the goal of discussing the war is obviously there and super important but,,, the reunion, the perfect chance to speak,,, even at the costs. it must go on. the world will be bettered, even if it sucks for a while.
i'll gloss over the gc arc for now since its super new, but i made a post a bit earlier about it and they're Having A Bad Fucking Time already enough.
any then odyssey. obviously, its bad enough watching the republic they had a a direct hand in be so shitty, even before they actually GO there. i think that after clotted spills the truth messenger spent so long hurting over persoanlly and working with their father to tell everyone is when their extreme hurt and exhaustion finally boils over into fucking ANGER. they absolutely chew clotted to shreds in the atrium after everyone else dissolves. and thats kinda their spiral from there.
they go to the republic, and they're a fucking *hero*. the worst parts of their life, all compartmentalized and put on a pedastal as the 'first consul'. they cover their ears as their praises are sung, constantly correcting to jsut, please, for the love of god, call them messenger. this hurts even more than if they weren't recongized at all. everyone regards them with utmost respect,,,,
as they stand on the countless dead and hurting of the lower city, countless injustices and ignorance, the paladins that they can so clearly see are just light magic infestations - all of it, all of the republics countless problems. and that awful feeling begins to fester once more. the republic tries to rob their family of their most sacred artifacts as the vehicle to the better, war-free world messenger so desires and which motivates them through hell and back.
*they. are. responsible.* in some way or another, their actions, more specifically, their abandonment of the infant republic, they feel like it lead to this. which only reinforces their tendancies, when they broke and ran it turned out like this. they fight tooth and nail, using their status in the republic as much as it hurts, for something better here. even when the dragon erupts from the earth, even as hell breaks loose at home, as they split themself between the obligations here and the obligations of the ancients, which they have bound themself to out of their love and compassion rather than unending guilt.
they hurt, man.
i can only imagine how bad the future is for them when war truely sparks up again and their mindset is completely cemented. god. theyre so ruined.
but, also,,, i think a lot about the day they're able to sit on top of the vanilla castle, stars flickering, moon parting the clouds, where they can breathe the cold air and bask in the fact that, even if there is more to be done, they *won*.
i think they deserve a long, long vacation, away from the places they have spent so long flying between without appreciating the world they started off wanting to see- the whole reason they became royal messenger so young. parfaedian snows, their sister in law's cabin up in the frost mountains, the tropical soda islands,,, boundless possibilities. they are free. their wings finally catch the wind of new sails.
they can have peace eventually, but it'll be a hell of a ride.
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thecoppersoulbox · 2 months
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Badly Explaining Every HSR Character's Type
Disclaimer: This is very dumb and some of these are stretches/I just completely gave up so don't take it seriously. Also I'm stopping at 1.6, so no Penacony. Maybe I'll make a sequel in the future.
Under a read-more bc this is a lot of people.
Trailblazer, Physical: Baseball bat hit body, ouch
Trailblazer, Fire: They wanted that really cool imagery of us helping to melt the Eternal Freeze
March 7th, Ice: Her whole thing is she was found in Six-Phased Ice
Dan Heng, Wind: Spear go woosh through the air, it's also called Cloud Piercer which sounds pretty windy to me
Asta, Fire: That spectrum beam looks like it would burn you pretty bad
Arlan, Lightning: I am fairly certain his skill is him electrocuting himself for the extra adrenaline
Natasha, Physical: Massive bullet hit body, ouch
Pela, Ice: I think it's just bc she's with the Silvermane Guards, nothing about her attacks scream "ice" to me
Hook, Fire: Diggertron produces flames (seriously who let her keep that thing)
Serval, Lightning: Music is electrifying (also that's an electric guitar)
Qingque, Quantum: Digital = quantum in HSR and celestial jade tiles are digital (...I'm pretty sure)
Herta, Ice: I guess the diamond is cold...and looks like ice...? Maybe they're linking crystals with ice bc of how they look
Tingyun, Lightning: Yeah I got nothing. Most of her animations don't even have lightning anywhere in them?
Sushang, Physical: Big sword hit body, ouch
Sampo, Wind: Blades go woosh through the air
Himeko, Fire: That massive laser DEFINITELY burns
Clara, Physical: Big robot punch body, ouch
Bronya, Wind: Small bullet go woosh through the air (it's straight up called Windrider Bullet)
Gepard, Ice: The shield he makes is a massive wall of ice like. My god man.
Bailu, Lightning: Resuscitation requires electricity (also water isn't a type but if it was...)
Yanqing, Ice: His swords seem to be made of ice (also he needed the Jingliu parallels)
Welt, Imaginary: If those black holes were real then...wouldn't everything just be gone...? (idk HI3 lore so I might be missing smth)
Seele, Quantum: Girl moves so fast it breaks quantum physics
Jing Yuan, Lightning: Two words. Lightning-Lord.
Silver Wolf, Quantum: Everything she does is digital, also aether editing probably breaks quantum physics too
Luocha, Imaginary: Those spirit-like things in his ultimate just seem imaginary, also he just radiates the colour yellow which doesn't explain anything but it's all I got
Yukong, Imaginary: Gonna be real idk, that bow looks pretty real, I'm kind of wondering why she isn't wind (probably the severe lack of imaginary characters at the time she came out)
Blade, Wind: They had to make it clear he's connected to Dan Heng yk? Also his swords probably go woosh through the air
Kafka, Lightning: Her strings have a similar colour to the lightning icon and so does her general design, it would be weird for her to be anything else. Also there's lightning in her animations so something is producing it
Luka, Physical: Big metal fist hit body, ouch (this boy wants to be fire so bad)
Dan Heng IL, Imaginary: He's basically controlling that water with his mind, right?
Fu Xuan, Quantum: Idk how to word it but. Quantum just makes sense here like I have no questions about it but I can't explain it. Edit: The Matrix of Prescience is a supercomputer tysm for reminding me!!!
Lynx, Quantum: Literally nothing about Lynx feels quantum like her weapon is an ice pick and her healing stuff is physical objects...do you think Lynx and Pela are such good besties that they swapped types?
Jingliu, Ice: Look at that really cool ice sword
Topaz and Numby, Fire: Numby creates so much friction spinning like that it burns the enemy lmao (also the blaster Topaz uses might use lasers? It looks like a mix of money and some sort of beam)
Guinaifen, Fire: Girlie is literally throwing firecrackers at her enemies
Huohuo, Wind: If she waves that flag fast enough she creates a little gust of wind!
Argenti, Physical: Big spear hits multiple bodies, ouch (ignore the roses)
Hanya, Physical: This is the only physical character I can't explain like she's hitting her enemies with ink and chains that didn't exist two seconds ago...I think HYV just don't wanna give siblings the same type but she could've been imaginary
Ruan Mei, Ice: ...Maybe it matches her personality? Or it's a women of the Genius Society thing?
Dr. Ratio, Imaginary: Nobody actually believes the building he's dropping is real, right?
Xueyi, Quantum: This is another one that I can't put into words but just makes sense to me, something about the chains just materialising and the colours
TL;DR - If in doubt, look at their weapon and how they use it, except sometimes that doesn't explain anything either (if that's the case...look at their hair colour maybe...?)
Feel free to offer corrections or further explanations bc obviously I don't have everyone so I'm mostly going off what I can see from their animations
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raphwshere · 9 months
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jefferson morales, father of two. (its actually one but he doesnt know thats atm) (this is a character analysis) (its long)
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so in the beginning of the movie, its clear that jefferson isnt entirely sure how to interact with miles given the way they interact, specifically in the i love you scene at visions. the drive isnt much better either but the i love you scene. he doesnt approve of miles' incredibly mild vandalism, which like, he is a cop. were gonna ignore that though cause uh, its my post. point is, in the beginning of the film, jefferson doesnt know what to do with miles at all, they love eachother but theres a rift. (this rift is likely caused in part by miles' attachment to aaron but that is for another day)
anyways, i dont have all the screenshots and even if i did, a large amount of the development im about to reference is offscreen. also theres a picture limit.
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sometime after he issued the apb for spidey he probably spoke to rio, who probably wouldve helped him process enough to get to the point hes at when he shows up at the miles' dorm for his talk, which because miles was tied up ended up being more of a speech. something about aarons death made him realize that keeping his thoughts about miles and his hope for him locked up could only end badly. he spends to whole movie reaching out to miles, here is where he actually manages a genuine connection. hes just lost his brother, and for all they didnt get along near then end theyre family. jefferson doesnt want to lose miles, thats what this is about. not entirely, but enough.
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more time passes, i imagine another talk with rio and some wicked introspection, then hes at the collider. he sees wilson fisk beating up the new spiderman, wilson fisk the philanthropist. throughout the movie its hammered into the audience that between all the spideys, one of the few things they all have in common is that they get back up, the characters know this to. what else is he supposed to do here but say "get up spiderman"?
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when they get out of fisk tower, the first thing miles does is call jefferson, heres where i really reccomend you just rewatch the scene buti i will talk about it after this. once spidey shows up, we see that jefferson is mildly uncomfortable and unsure how to react in his presence, its not hard to understand, hes gone from thinking spiderman killed his brother to knowing that he didnt. that and the fact that he saw him save the city and probably the world first hand has the obvious potential to make one uncomfortable.
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miles however, is entirely comfortable with talking to him, even going so far as to hug him, mitigating most, if not all, of jeffersons discomfort. now heres the thing, he doesnt know this spiderman, wedont even know if he new peters spiderman. miles has been spidey for a very short time and for most of it hes been wanted. but not only does jefferson allow himself to be hugged, he hugs back. of course from his end its sorta awkward, but still. heres another hug from them just cause i can.
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jefferson has always wanted to support miles, we know that from his speech in the dorm, but the way he specifically finds a way to connect with miles though graffiti is different. its fairly safe to assume that part of the reason he specifically went to graffiti is because before aaron died miles did art with him. while there isnt really any evidence jefferson knew specifically what aaron and miles got up to its not a stretch really, he and aaron did graffiti when they were younger and miles is very artistically inclined. id also like to take the time to point out how palpable the relief on their faces is during the call. just cause.
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idk where this came from tbh. father-son relationships are very specifically important to me. also this was not written in order but i did rewite the non analyzing parts. this wasnt even supposed to be an analysis but here we are :D im open to criticism btw :)
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princess-of-the-corner · 11 months
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I always wonder how an ML civil war would go because I feel like most everyone would be inclined to side with Ladybug? They don't really have any particular connection to Chat Noir, aside from Felix who would do it both out of loyalty to Adrien and distrust of Maribug. Alya would pick Marinette, Nino hates Chat Noir. Kagami MIGHT go with Chat if she knew it was Adrien but given her whole "I love Marinette I trust Ladybug with my life and ALSO Felix's and Adrien's" thing idk; Luka and Alix are both toss-ups who'd try to stay out of it- Luka because he wants to look for a peaceful resolution and Alix because she probably literally can't intervene. Everyone else is kind of just there
Honestly I think that, given what's happening at the end of Season 5 with Ladybug keeping everything all secret, we could have a better reason for some of the team to go against her.
Because if all this comes out, if they find out how much she kept from them, how much she kept from Chat, how badly she handled certain situations like everything the day of Miracle Queen.... I could see it.
I could see it happening with that. Remember we mentioned the idea of Mari tells Alya and Alya tells Nino and Nino goes 'oh hell no' and tells Adrien? That could kick it off.
Nino finds out about the whole 'Adrien is a Sentimonster, Gabriel was Monarch, we're not telling Adrien' thing and, well, tells Adrien. Adrien has a breakdown about That™, spills the beans that he's Chat Noir because he's trying to say that Nino's lying because 'surely Ladybug wouldn't lie to Chat? Surely she'd tell me of all people?!' but whoops she didn't.
And he's hurt and pissed and confronts Ladybug on the whole thing because he can understand somewhat lying to 'Adrien' but lying to 'Chat'? (And telling Rena).
They have a big blowup fight which starts the fracturing of the whole thing.
Nino is on Adrien's side because the boy should've been told shit. Alya stays on Mari's because like. She gets why she hid that shit and how she was under so much stress and the full scope of the whole 'she thinks telling Chat will fuck things up because it has in other timelines'.
Toss in both Chloé and Zoé for Chat's side. Because maybe they have a blowup fight too at first when Chloé finds out that Zoé replaced her, but the fight turns into telling Zoé what happened during Miracle Queen in its entirety (the threats, the betrayal, etc.). Zoé realized that Maribug REALLY fumbled that whole situation and blamed Chloé for it in the aftermath after basically sabotaging her attempts in the first place(not to mention the double standard of Mari telling Chloé that she should do her best to imitate Audrey and earn her love while telling Zoé that she shouldn't have to appease Audrey to earn love)
So they both hop on over to Team Chat and switch off the Bee.
Kagami and Felix are leaning more Team Chat because they agree that Adrien should've been told about the fuckery of his existence and Felix in particular is kinda pissed about Gabriel being remembered as a Hero instead of a bastard. Kagami I think the tipping point would also be learning the full scope of the Miracle Queen incident because she learns how Maribug broke the 'if your identity is known you're benched' rule so that she could interrupt Kagami and Adrien's date(like yeah it didn't work out with Adrien but DICK MOVE GIRL)
Luka and Alix are probably the most sensible in the 'she made some bad calls, but for the most part she was trying to do the right thing. It's okay to be hurt by that anyway. But we're friends, we're a team, we need to work this out'.
The rest of the Team could go either way because like. No offense but they don't have the most fleshed out personalities. This could flesh them out more with how they react to hearing what all went down.
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camillahuiguorou · 2 months
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I want lesbian art about being plural so badly so badly so badly yes i am making my own shit but!!!!!!!
AYMM? to me displays a lot of plural themes. (I want to note that in my understanding of Bechdel’s works she likely would qualify for c-pstd, considering her chronic child abuse and how she relates to it.)
It’s a metabook. The fact that she overlays psychological findings over her own perfectly narrativized life (events, understanding of self) to more deeply explain the psychological mechanisms at play at every emotional climax rings intrinsically cptsd-cdd dyke to me.
Temporal: The most obvious connections is when Alison mentions i think two instances where she made a decision and carried out an action of emotional intensity that she cannot remember, despite recording her daily actions in her journal. (Maybe she stopped before these times, idk.) so, there’s amnesia.
She also seems to display a noncomforming sense of time and personal history. Her memories are not a stream based on chronological time, but instances connected through emotional and thematic association. Throughout AYMM? she brings up certain memories, expressing her emotional isolation and lack of understanding of why they occurred. Through discussing further memories and connections, she stumbles across the missing pieces of those memories and eventually connects them, uniting a coherent stream of autobiographical narrative. (Im autistic)
most notably the memory of her mother no longer kissing her tonight. She describes the rejection and loneliness she felt. She mentions that in these emotional states she feels and desires input that I relate to combatting dissociation; living in ones own head and splitting personality functions, needing the pressure of another person’s body, to feel where she ends and others begin. Later, she recalls the memory of her first erotic expression and her mother’s reaction (and her self imposed child abuse to avoid her mother’s, about it) and realizes her mother stopped kissing her that night. Likely due to this sexuality.
Idk. Compartmentalized memories and my personal inability to remember them in order even if i know i knew the commectiom at the time. Needing to work through layers of other emotional memories to get to others. Needing many units of time and different mental states to achieve these realizations.
That last paragraph took too much energy to write ill keep going later maybe.
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lunarzei · 6 months
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gmm n precalc // 14.10
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i restarted studying math again from a different textbook and just finished the first chapter: functions - everything was alot more simplified and clearer, easier to understand
i have high hopes using this book bc the language in it is way easier to understand than anything i've tried before
the next chapter is limits - the one i was trying to understand earlier using khanacademy at the uni study space and was making progress till i stopped to head back and forgot everything since i didn't get the chance to study again
i'm rly tired but i hope this book can help i've started using other resources with hope and determination then i reach a dead end bc everything's rly hard to understand all of a sudden bc i'm lacking some basics i get lost and can't follow along the explanations
this book seems promising though i felt alot more comfortable using it
also abt the study technique i'm doing (not a technique idk - the way i'm studying ig: using the plastic of one of my old uni printed notes as a whiteboard and a marker my mom gave me one day then writing on paper - this is for 2 reasons: to be able to read and focus better and so my perfectionism can calm down enough for me to write on the papers and actually make notes
my hand hurts but it helped alot - i could focus and it wasn't as mentally excruciating as it is usually for me to write on paper
and the nice thing is that i have more markers so i can keep studying like this
i haven't looked through the rest of the book and part of me is worried rn that it just as i said before randomly shifts to a level i'm not at i regret not going through it more when i found it i rly should've but so far the first chapter was well explained - i've studied functions alot before so it reinforced my understanding of the basics
also new fear that arose while i'm typing this: that this is too basic and therefore won't help me with the level i need to be at to catch up with uni
but i think even if it is i'll use it for all the basics and learn more after i get the basics down that feels like the obvious thing to do - get the foundation then build on that
usually i rly dread studying math and it makes me rly depressed to bc i feel so awful but having gmm on and using this book + the study technique all made such a big difference
also random thing abt having gmm on that helped me but this feels kinda weird and dumb - i was watching the international food guessing game where they throw darts onto a map and them talking abt the limits of where they could get it and still win kinda helped me? like when one of them said if i get in __ cm in this direction then i get the point or something along those lines
i feel like an idiot
but i love gmm sm for how comforting this was and how much less stressed i was studying
i took a break to eat lunch and watched them on full screen and it helped me eat too
so i guess this was gmm and precalc
good study session
things i would change: can't think of anything rn things were alot better this time
things that were better: stress, anxiety, depression during studying
all the reasons i can think of as to how / why: sat at my desk and didn't leave it much, didn't use my phone at all, started while home alone, earphones on connected to my laptop playing gmm videos and the book i found that simplified concepts alot
and my phone was charging for some time then i left it on my desk and didn't check it it was rly easy since i don't do much on my phone anyway and i wanted to study rly badly i never get to study
resources: studying - book and google for clarification, stationary / physical stuff - my laptop, the plastic of my old uni notes, a blue whiteboard marker, my mechanical pencil and eraser and some old binder paper i had, focus - gmm <3
being able to do this made me happy i'm rly tired but happy i could do it
i'm excited to rest later and hopefully study again tomorrow continuing with the concepts i find more complicated
22:13 14/10/2023
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phantomrose96 · 2 years
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I don't know you obv so idk if this was intentional or not & this might sound kinda weird but I wanted to thank you for not making Reigen's "sacrifice" in ch. 45 actually be the "solution" - be what immediately fixed everything or made it all better. Having struggled with suicidal ideation for years & repeatedly having to convince myself that ending my life will not make things better for other people or make the world a better place, I really appreciated that. Phenomenal chapter overall btw!
(ABoT ch45)
fdjkf, yeah, yes this is intentional. I was talking about this last night on the ABoT discord let me copy-paste some stuff I said from that discussion:
ABoT is, to the ABSOLUTE best of my ability, thematically consistent. To have Reigen's sacrifice be the end of Mogami and just get… a weepy "he sacrificed himself so noble" send off to Reigen… would've grated badly against the hard-fought-for-themes of living to fix your mistakes, not dying for them.
And on some level Reigen is aware of this. He hides the plan from Ritsu knowing that the hypocrisy of it would have deeply off-put Ritsu. How high-and-mighty Reigen has been telling Ritsu that getting himself killed is a terrible answer, and Ritsu would be wrong to choose it, only to have Reigen demonstrate that was lip service by taking the spot himself…
The CHARACTER moment is meant to be consistent. Like, Reigen would do this. Because for all the big-game he can talk to other people, he's still constantly living with the voice in his head of ("Oh but not you. You're an exception. You don't matter. You can tell other people they matter but deep down, that's not you.")
So from a character standpoint: Yes, Reigen would do this. From a narrative standpoint: No, this cannot be the means by which Mogami is defeated.
Particularly, particularly with this line, right before he's set to kill himself and Mogami:
“—There’s a great ramen shop around here, you know? I took Mob there. I hope Mob goes back there after this is all over. I hope he goes back 100 times, tells ‘em Reigen sent him.” The fire crackled. Reigen’s smile faded. “…I hope Mob never goes back. I hope after today he forgets everything he ever had to do with us. I hope he forgets everything about me. I hope he forgets you. I hope he goes home with Ritsu. I hope his life picks right back up where it left off. I hope it’s normal.” Reigen’s eyes were dry. Everything evaporated in the heat. “I hope I never matter again after this moment.”
This really is meant as a genuinely powerful moment for Reigen. All his self-sacrifices, from the start, have been done with that… twinge of "I'm doing this so maybe I can finally matter, somehow". Still GOOD. Still selfless! Still noble! But rooted in something just a bit pathetic and desperate in Reigen. This desperate need to matter to someone became his literal downfall when it came to Mob and keeping him for so long--this was the choice that allowed Ritsu to get worse, and allowed Mogami to come back.
And in Reigen's final moment he's... relinquishing exactly that. This isn't "for Mob to know Reigen mattered." This is for Mob. End statement. Reigen can vanish into absolutely nothing after this, and it's what he wants. This is big for Reigen.
…………………..but. but but but but BUT BUT!!! THIS IS ALSO. EXCEPTIONALLY NAIVE… To just say "I hope he forgets about me" and wish it into existence won't make it so. (Ritsu is literally trying to do the same to his parents and he's gotten a hell of a lot of flack for it.)
Truth is, Reigen's death will ABSOLUTELY hurt Mob. There is no forgetting Reigen that Mob can just do. This sacrifice Reigen is making will hurt Mob. Point blank. It'll hurt him DEEPLY. ABoT focuses so deeply on the hurt of missing loved ones. On how experiences and connections matter and there is no just brushing things off as meaningless. To wish Mob's life just goes back to normal is naive. To wish Mob would just forget Reigen and not care is naive. And Reigen is so… caught up in his own Reigen-ness, he doesn't have the capacity (more like he can't afford) to consider the damages of his sacrifice. He tells himself it's simply necessary… So he builds this little fantasy, where he doesn't have to think about what hurt he's causing. So he tells himself "I hope I won't matter after this", which is so much easier than the truth of how much dying can hurt others. Reigen would matter after this moment, whether he wanted to or not.
He just needs to believe he can make this simple enough to do. "It's him or Ritsu". "It's him or Mob". And Reigen will always be the more sacrificable person. "It's only right", since it's his fault Mob went back to Mogami. "It's only right", because it's his fault the horde found Ritsu in the first place.
But Reigen's wrong. And it really, really comes back to this quote from ch39:
“’The one of us who’s home safe.’ Bullshit. Make it the both of you who are home safe.” Reigen adjusted his legs, one knee up, lame hand resting over it. “Choose the option where you both go home alive and healthy, and then do the hard work to make up for whatever awful things you’ve done. Apologize to the people you hurt. Make it up to them. If it takes years then put in the years. If it means facing consequences, face them. Be better. Be brave like your brother and choose to make the hurt end with you. I’ve seen him do it. Don’t tell me you can’t do the same.” Reigen glanced to Ritsu. “If you get yourself killed, you’re just exploding all the hurt you caused outward. You’d be dying with a debt you’re forcing your family to pay. If you want to help your brother, accept responsibility for what you’ve done, pay that debt off yourself, and save your brother.” Reigen looked forward again. “Mob’s been through enough. Don’t take his little brother away from him on top of it all. He loves him more than anything else in the world.”
Thematically, Reigen choosing to kill himself to end Mogami could never succeed. It could never be the solution that fixes things. It's entirely too at-odds with the absolutely central themes in ABoT of living to fix your mistakes, and living to heal, and deserving the chance to live and heal.
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captain-hen · 8 months
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Even if Eddie had not seen firsthand how Abby leaving affected Buck and was protective of him regardless, I want to know what in the world was said to him to make him have the reaction he did about Abby in 3x18.
Watching s1 for the first time as a whole, Abby's character just feels flat to me. She is great at her job and so dedicated to her mom, I love that, but it does feel like she was hyped up so much and for me, I just don't see it? Maybe it's just residual feelings from knowing what happened already but even just watching through a neutral lens, I don't connect with her. And I feel bad about that honestly considering Connie is wonderful so I get why they wanted to keep her so badly. It just could have been handled better like you said.
i think it was less of what eddie knew about abby, and more of eddie's frustration over buck treating himself like he was expendable, again—especially with the added context of the will and all that.
i don't think abby was a flat character exactly, but she definitely felt cut off from the rest of the cast (aside from buck ofc) in a way that made her character pretty hard to get invested in, and—for me at least—i wasn't even surprised when she left at the end of s1 because it really seemed like the only thing they could do with her character, given how she'd been written so far. idk, i think the writers wanted us to make sure we know she's this incredible and amazing character but...we don't need it spelled out? lol. all they did was put her on this whole other level that made her even more alienated from the rest of the cast. it's not great writing.
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