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neocity-sarai · 4 years

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Tattoos Together

❈ main concept: childhood best friends to lovers!

❈ pairing: mark lee x reader

❈ alerts: fluff, angsty angst, language, parties, mentions of drinking/smoking, mentions of the dreamies/other idols

❈ song reference: “tattoos together” by lauv

Vancouver has always been home. Since you were a child, Vancouver has been the place to be. Years of dinners in the city, biking around Granville island, and field trips to the Victoria gardens were the norm, just little secret spots you go to when you want a getaway- an escape from school, work, whatever it is you’re doing. At age 15, the Lees moved into the light blue house next to yours, the one with overgrown weeds in the yard. The one with the crooked, leaning mailbox in front of it- daisies painted on the rusty metal. A young girl, an artist, used to live there until she moved to Paris for her next exhibit- leaving the lonely, periwinkle house behind. That day the Lees moved in, your parents baked more muffins than usual (on purpose) so they could welcome our new neighbors by enticing them with food. The saying goes that a way to a person’s heart is through their stomach right? When dad is done packaging them up into a neat little box, he shoves it into your hands, “Y/N. I hear the Lees have a son about your age, go introduce yourself.”

Glaring at your father, you set the box that was tied with a small yellow ribbon on the table before saying, “I’m sure they can manage just fine without the muffins. Why do we have to go greet them now? they’re probably tired from moving.”

Mom gives you a stern look, her jaw tightening, “Don’t be silly, it’s a nice gesture. Come back before dinner is ready.”

Before you can even protest, your parents are shoving you out the door, still careful not to crush the perfectly wrapped box. Stepping over the stairs, you finally manage to make it to the door. Here goes nothing? The cherry red door swings open lightly after you linger my finger-tip on their doorbell, opening up to a pretty woman- her facial features defined of asian descent. Her dark hair is tied into a loose braid, her pink sweater tucked into the waistband of her culotte pants. The woman smiles at you, the corner of her lips upturned, “Ah- you must be Y/N. I just got a call from your mother.”

You try to hide the shaking of my hands, handing her the box of warmed muffins, “Uh-hi Mrs. Lee. My parents made some muffins to welcome you to the uh- neighborhood.”

The woman’s eyes crinkle until her eyes stretch thinly, “That’s so nice of you! Thank you, I’m sure Mark will enjoy these!”

You question,“Um- Mark?”

Her laugh is light and airy, “My son-Mark! Wait here, I’ll get him.”

You wave my hands at her, motioning my refusal, “No worries, I-I have to get going for dinner..”

She doesn’t wait to listen to my words before turning away from the door to scream Mark’s name. A few minutes later, a boy wearing a dress shirt over his black t-shirt comes stumbling down the stairs, a pair of black headphones hanging off his neck. His glasses rest on the bridge of his nose as his jet-black hair sits as a messy pile on his head. It looks like he hasn’t combed it in days. Mark shouts, “What? What did you need mom?”

Mark’s mother clutches him by the arm, shoving him into my view, “Meet y/n. She’s the daughter of the family next door.”

At first, no words come out of Mark’s mouth, his doe, boyish eyes as wide as saucers. Mark’s mother hits him in the back, causing him to cough abruptly, “Uh-yeah-my name’s Mark. W-what’s your name?”

Mark’s mother laughs again, leaning down to whisper into his ear, “I already said her name is y/n!”

Redness creeps up to Mark’s cheeks, his nose tinted a slight shade of rose as his dark irises bounce everywhere but at me.

You smile anyway, “It’s y/n.”

He gives me a small smile and a nod, eyes set on the ground. His mother speaks up again, “I’m really sorry y/n, my boy’s really shy around pretty girls…”

Mark lightly hits his mom in the shoulder, “Mom! Don’t say that! You’re embarrassing me!”

His face is as red as a tomato, glasses sliding farther down his nose only for him to push them up with the tip of his index finger. I laugh at their cute relationship, holding out a hand to Mark, “It’s nice to meet you. I hope we can be friends?”

Mark stutters once more, his eyes wild with energy, “I-i’d like that very much-h, yeah.”

After you tell Mrs. Lee goodbye, you give Mark a nod before turning back on to their driveway. The both of them stand in the doorway, Mark’s voice reprimanding his mom in the house behind me. Maybe it wasn’t so bad meeting the Lees after all. That night, you go to bed, replaying the vision of Mark’s embarrassed smile in your mind.

Age 18 (senior year)

The next several years breeze by. Ever since Mark Lee enrolled into Everlane high, he wasn’t as shy of a freshman compared to the day you met him all those summers ago. Over the years, he grew a lot taller, his face a lot mature, yet still adorably awkward at the same time. He became a smart student, one favored by many of the science teachers- causing his friends (Jeno and Jaemin) to roll their eyes playfully whenever Mrs. Scofski would praise Mark for solving a chemical equation on the white-board. Mark was a basketball captain along with his best friend Hyuck, the two always tag-teaming during the school’s games. Due to Renjun’s forcing, Mark joined the student body as a reputable member. He became a biology tutor for kids who had found science class difficult or just fooled around without paying attention (Jisung and Chenle being two of those kids). Quickly, Mark was showered as Everlane’s golden boy, your neighborhood’s ideal son. He was doted as smart, popular, and mr. perfect to all the girls in the area- no matter how much he always denied it when you told him so. After your first meeting, your parents would frequently eat together, alternating households. The Lees also force Mark to walk you home from school, in fears that you would be kidnapped by a random stranger. At least he was good for one of many things- telling you that he’d swing his basketball at any person who would come even close to you.

Most days after your homework sessions, you’d plan new adventures with each other. your week went like this: on Mondays, you went walking along the water, skipping rocks on the bay until the sun went down and could see the glitters of the city sky-line. In the spring, the sky would melt from a tangerine orange color into a musty silver. On Tuesdays, you’d get clam chowder at Phil’s on 2nd avenue, Mark always ruined his shirt ( you would forbid him to wear white on Tuesdays) and then you’d sit on this abandoned rooftop above an old department store. Up there, the air always felt cold so that you would have to blow your warm breaths into your hands, lean your heads on each other’s shoulders as Mark let out his high-pitched laughs. On Wednesdays, it was maple waffles before school in Gas town, the steaming clock chiming delicate music by the hour. Thursdays were meant for taking stupid photos, listening to dusty mixtapes, and hanging out with the rest of your friends. Last Thursday, you would all go to the Capilano suspension bridge and sit on a treehouse’s edge- causing Hyuck to scream from the heights. Jaemin always quieted him down with a bone-crushing hug or a playful kiss, earning a look of disgust from Renjun. You always wanted gelato after that. On Fridays, all of you would stay in for a movie night at either Mark’s house or yours- Jeno punching Chenle to stop him from making fun of the ghosts in the horror movies you’ve been watching. It never works. Saturdays were like Mark’s public appearances at Everlane high’s party scene, one call and you all would be at someone’s house party. You’d never really enjoyed them though: too many people, too much dirty dancing, and the burning stench of vodka stung your nose. The only reason you would stay is for Mark and the boys. Sundays, your family and Mark’s get together for either dinner or lunch- switching off every week. Your parents would even play a betting game to choose who gets to wash dishes, Mark groaning every time his family loses rock-paper-scissors. Spending time with the people you loved made the days go by faster as you never particularly had bad days in the extreme. Piles of homework and grumpy teachers didn’t hold a candle to what you’d get to do every day- if it meant spending time with Mark. When you go to bed each night, you would feel content- happy, even.

Monday

You still think back to the moment when the boys were eating lunch in the cafeteria, like you did everyday. Chenle was talking about how he’d earn himself detention because he was messing around with chlorine in chemistry in order to make Jisung laugh.

“You’re such an idiot, Chenle. That’s going on your record, you know?” Jaemin scoffs.

Holding his sandwich in one hand, Jeno sweeps his coffee-colored bangs out of his eyes, “What do you expect? it’s Chenle- it’s like he’s powered on candy all the time.”

Chenle slurps up his gummy worms in an exaggerated motion, “I’ve already been through 6 packs of these since this morning. I feel so sick.”

Narrowing his eyes, Hyuck rests his chin on the palm of his hand as he pouts his lips, “Poor baby, eat more and you’ll be blowing up the toilet in no time!”

Chenle squints his eyes at the blond-haired boy, tossing a gummy worm at him, “Hyuck! Stop it!”

Hyuck continues to laugh as he clutches his stomach, Jisung stealing the candy from Chenle’s fingers before stuffing it into his mouth. I pull Hyuck up from his side, “Hyuck, you’re going to fall, sit up!”

Due to his lack of breath, Hyuck stares into my eyes, his golden irises gleaming, “You’re here to catch me though.”

You push him back down, palming my hand onto his face, “Stop reading cheesy rom-com lines. It’s so not cute, cringey at that.” Before Hyuck can finish whining, we’re interrupted by Mark plopping his food tray on the table. Jaemin says, “Someone’s late. Where were you?”

Mark looks like he’s out of breath, heaving and panting as he cards his fingers through the crest of his raven hair. “You guys aren’t going to believe this but, I think Cassandra likes me.”

Jaemin raises a skeptical eyebrow, “You mean Cassandra as the cheerleader who got kicked off the team for drinking last year?”

Suddenly, you stop paying attention to the conversation anymore. All you feel is the weight of your heart sink, my limbs feeling heavier at your side. Hyuck looks at you, noticing your fallen expression before clutching your hand under the table, giving it a comforting squeeze. It seems like Jeno sees it too because he glances from you to Mark as Mark excitedly explains his story. “Yeah, I was just finishing up some tutoring with Roberto from last period and Cassandra gave me her number after that! Isn’t that sweet?”

Jaemin nods disinterestedly, “Yeah, sweet I guess.”

Among the group, you have only ever admitted your feelings for Mark to Hyuck because he cornered you about it one day. Yet, it seems like Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun have caught on from their pitied faces. Mark drones on about how “totally cool” and how athletic he thinks Cassandra is. The difference is you don’t play any sports and you don’t slap coats of makeup on your face every-day before school, nothing like Cassandra. You shake your head at the ping in your heart- a small glimmer of hope that Mark would ever feel the same about you. By the time lunch is over, classes feel longer than usual. They drag on, your teachers’ words in one ear and out the other. You text Mark that you have to stay over for school so he can walk home without you- a blatant, utter lie. Instead, you opt to put my headphones in and take the long route home. Plopping on to the surface of my comforter, you hear the familiar ring of Mark’s text tone.

[2:55 P.M.] (Marcus Lee <3) Y/n? Did you get home okay?

[2:55] Yeah, I did. Thanks Mark.

[2:56] (Marcus Lee <3) Hey, are you okay? You seemed a bit down today? Like you know you can tell me anything right?

[2:56] Yeah. I know. I’m just a bit more tired than usual. Stayed up last night writing Mr. Gillion’s paper..

[2:57] (Marcus Lee <3) hahahah ewww. That doesn’t sound fun… Do you want to go into town and get churros later?

[2:58] I think I’ll pass today, I got some homework to finish. I hope you have a good day though :)

[3:00] (Marcus Lee <3] hahaha okay. I guess I’ll have to take my mom on a churro date then hahah. See you tomorrow! ;)

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to hang out with Mark. Still, you couldn’t forget about the way Mark’s eyes sparkled when he talked about Cassandra, the way his voice cracked from the excitement of talking about it. How can you expect him to know? To reciprocate? It’s not like you were dating, you have no right to be jealous of Cassandra- a pretty girl, someone who had football players falling at her feet. Even if you had told Mark the truth, what if he didn’t feel the same? It would make these awkward, not to mention with your friend group. You shouldn't.

Tuesday

In all honesty, you had forgotten about yesterday’s lunch conversation. That was until the reminder hits you like a slap to the face when you see Cassandra’s arms wrapped around Mark’s neck as he laughs into her shoulder. Renjun and you had been walking to art class, the crack in your heart widening by the second. They fit so well, the way Mark’s basketball jacket matches Cassandra’s cheerleading uniform, the way his teammates and her friends hang out together in a pack. Renjun whispers to you, “Are you okay?”

You nod at him, trying to conceal your emotions, “Just fine, let’s head to class.”

When you pass Cassandra and Mark along with their cluster of friends, Cassandra’s voice comes out in a squeaky tone, “Hey, y/n.” When you turn to look at the pair, you see Cassandra’s hand daintily resting on Mark’s stomach, his eyes wide as saucers when he realizes you and Renjun are in front of him. You hear Renjun mutter an ‘ugh’ after curtly waving to them. Mark leaves Cassandra’s grasp, motioning towards you both, “You guys going to art? I’ll walk with you-”

Before you can answer, Cassandra wraps her thin arms around Mark’s waist, “We have to go help Felix with the party stuff remember?”

Mark scratches the back of his neck before glancing back at her and you with Renjun, his mind in a state of conflict. To make it easier for him, you smile at him, “You go, looks like you’re busy.”

Walking faster, Renjun drags you by the arm as we breeze past the crowd of athletes and cheerleaders. Renjun rolls his eyes again, “I don’t get why he likes her so much, they haven’t even been friends for that long and you’re right-”

You cover a hand to his mouth, “Renjun, it’s okay. I’ve accepted it by now.” You try to convince yourself at the very least.

After art class is done, lunch time seems to come in a hurry. Everyone takes their usual seats, Hyuck on your right with Renjun on your left. Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung sit around you three in a circular formation. Jaemin speaks first, “So, what, are Mark and Cassandra dating now?”

Jeno shrugs his shoulders before stuffing a quarter of a cookie into his mouth, “Don’t know and don’t care.”

You say, “Looks like it, they were pretty intimate in the hallway this morning.”

Renjun and Hyuck make disapproving faces, Renjun quips, “I don’t know. I feel like this is happening so fast and he told me that he really-”

“Shut up!” Hyuck screams at Renjun, throwing a limp french fry at him.

“Ew, what the hell was that for?” Renjun’s eyebrows are furrowed with disgust, patting the fabric of his white denim jacket from any salt crumbs.

Hyuck’s eyes go wide as he makes a zipping motion on his lips, his blond hair gleaming under the dim lights, “Don’t say it- she needs to hear it from him!”

Renjun shoots back, “But it’s so obvious, what difference does it make?”

“What are we talking about?” Chenle’s face contorts with confusion, Jisung looking at him for any hints.

Jaemin glares at the pair, “Shh, let’s just all move on.”

You say, “I’m with Chenle, what are we talking about?”

Hyuck places a firm hand on my shoulder, his honey blond hair casting shadows on his forehead, “Nothing, it’s not important.”

As you eat, you spot Mark walking over to all of you, his black backpack slinged over one shoulder before setting his food down. “Hey, guys. We can squeeze in two right?”

Hyuck looks at Mark, his eyes furrowing with bewilderment, “Two?”

“Hey guys!” Cassandra’s preppy figure pops out from behind Mark. She looks more done up than before: red lipstick, long platinum-streaked hair in a slicked pony-tail, and the tightest cheer-leading uniform she could fit herself into. She plops herself down in between Mark and Hyuck, taking off the container of her salad before looking around our table. I sense Renjun and Hyuck give me a look while the other boys continue to eat in silence.

“So what did you guys do today?” Mark asks. Jaemin gives him a short response while Jisung explains how the class pet mouse made it’s escape during second hour, earning a chuckle from Mark. You get an odd feeling in your stomach when Cassandra looks at Mark so lovingly at your lunch table. The boys’ dynamic seems almost disrupted every time Cassandra butts in to say that she doesn’t think Jeno’s jokes are funny. As lunch finishes up, the school bell reverberates through the cafeteria walls- a signal for the next class period.

The next class is statistics with Mr. Midas. Out of the group, Mark and Jaemin are the only ones in the same class as you but it doesn’t help that they’re seated as farway as possible. On the bright side, you’re seated next to Chan, one of Mark’s basketball teammates. Over the course of the year, Chan has always been a kind deskmate by helping you when you’re confused with a problem or sharing his study guide with you. Sometimes you notice he scoots closer to explain a formula and asks you if you’re uncomfortable with his sudden closeness, to which to his relief, you always reply no. Chan is just as handsome as Mark, someone well regarded in the school. No one could resist his flirty charm, the way his chestnut hair curls to one side of his forehead and the way his hoodie falls past his waist a bit. You discover how Chan is really passionate about producing music and running your high school’s channel as a radio dj. When Chan smiles, it makes you happy to see how his eyes crinkle into crescent moons, and how his teeth gleam white when he smiles about the flower you drew him at the corner of his notes.

“Are you doing okay, y/n?”

You give a reassuring nod, “I’m doing okay Chan. Thanks for asking.”

He quirks up his brow, a scar slashing it at the end, “You don’t look okay though. Listen, if you don’t want talk about it, you’re all good, I just-”

Pausing him with the hold of your hand, you continue, “if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk about it.”

He gives you affirmation, you say, “Have you ever felt unrequited love?”

Chan shakes his head no, leaning back in his chair, “Maybe when I was younger but not now? I’m truly sorry y/n. Whoever it is, anyone who doesn’t see how funny and beautiful you are doesn’t deserve you period.”

You hold your tongue for a bit due to the fact of Chan’s comment catching you off guard. Freezing, he realizes the bluntness of his words, “Oh man, you just said unrequited love and I biffed it right? I didn’t mean it that way-no, wait. You are funny and very pretty so, uh-yeah.”

Bursting into laughter, you put a hand to your mouth causing Cassandra and Mark to look at you from across the room. Soon enough, you tear your eyes away from the students staring at you to focus your attention on Chan. He’s laughing too, his voice full of brightness and mirth. You respond, a light cloud of pink floating your cheeks, the room feeling a bit warmer, “I really appreciate that Chan. Thank you for making me smile today.”

A smirk graces Chan’s face as he says, “Happy to do it, whenever you want really.”

Statistics goes by extremely quickly when you’re sitting next to Chan- it’s like he’s telling you a couple of jokes and then it’s over. As the bell rings, Chan nudges you with his elbow as he packs up his bag, “So, I uh-this friday, we’re having our championship game and this party after? I was wondering if you want to come?”

You hesitate, thinking you might have plans with Mark, yet you decide he would probably hang out with his girlfriend over you anyway.

“I’d love to come. On one condition.”

Chan raises his eyebrows, “And what’s that?”

“You have to win the game.”

Chan throws up his hands almost hitting you in the process, “Well, duh! I’m not going to let you down, I promise.”

Friday

For the past couple days, you haven't heard from Mark. No texts, no calls, and no plans out in the city. You were hurt that the boy you’d call your best friend would ignore you just because he got a new girlfriend, your years of friendship overlooked just like that. When Friday rolls around, you attend the Everlane versus Brisbane championship basketball game. You decide that you’re there to cheer on Chan, the boy who’s taller than the rest, his purple jersey hanging against his muscular frame. You spot Cassandra giving Mark a kiss on his cheek on the court, you have to look away at the sight. By the next hour or so, you’re surprised at how long Chenle, Jisung, and Jaemin have been screaming. Each of them held a poster for each Hyuck, Jeno, and Mark- their jersey numbers adorned with dollar store glitter and messy handwriting. When Mark makes a slam dunk in the basket, the crowd goes ear-deafeningly wild, cheering out Mark’s name like a repeated mantra. Shortly after, Hyuck makes an attempt to pass the basketball to Mark; the ball missing Mark’s hands before Chan dribbles it to their opponent’s basket. The cheerleaders dance to the thrum of the crowd screaming Chan’s name over Mark’s, causing Mark to grit his teeth with irritation. For a while, the back and forth of swaying bodies goes on until the Everlane team makes the last shot before the final countdown. When Jeno makes the last point, you’re certain you’ve lost your hearing by then. The cheers ring in the gym, causing the alarm to blare with victory. After everyone exits the gym, you see Mark, Chan, and Jeno being tossed into the air in a sea of fellow players and short-skirted girls as pompoms explode upwards. You decide to wait with Chenle, Jisung, and Jaemin in the empty parking lot, waiting for Renjun to pull his car around. Jeno and Hyuck jog to you all first, their basketball duffels hanging from their hands, bodies are drenched with sweat. Chenle says, “That’s some fine work out there gentleman if I do say so myself.” Hyuck does his signature handshake with Chenle, a reckless grin smeared across his face, “I knew we’d win. Brisbane can’t take down the undefeated.”

Jeno gives him a firm nod, slinging his arm around a pleased Jaemin. You smile at the boys, “Congratulations guys, you all killed it on the court.”

Hyuck and Jeno smash you in a sweaty hug, “Aw, thanks y/n. You did well cheering for us.”

You laugh, “Get off, you guys are sweaty!”

Before Hyuck can smear his sweat onto your shoulder playfully, a voice stops you in your tracks.

“Y/n!”

It’s Chan. A damp towel hangs off his neck, his nike headband wrapping his forehead under his bangs. “You ready to go?”

You shout, “Just give me a second!”

Hyuck and Jeno give you a knowing look, “Where are you going with Chan?”

You reply, “Oh, we’re just carpooling to the party at Felix’s house.”

Renjun asks, “Also, where’s Mark?”

Hyuck shakes his head in contempt, “He’s heading to the party with Cassandra.”

Jaemin mutters, “Of course he is.”

Of course he would. Mark is one of the captains on the team, why would he be excluded from the after-party? The ache in your heart pings again, you feel sick from the thought of Mark making out with Cassnadra at some gross party. You wouldn’t be able to handle the tears. Though, Chan had invited you, not Mark- who he didn’t even mention it to you, the least you could do is be courteous. What kind of person gets invited to something and cancels so last minute?

You say, “You guys get to the party and I’ll meet you there, okay?”

Renjun’s eyes crease his concern, “You do know that Mark and Cassandra will be there though right?”

You nod, “Yes. But we won’t mind them, let’s just go have fun tonight.”

After parting, you jog over to Chan who’s tossing his duffel into the trunk of his silver Lexus, his hair damp from the game. He turns to you, grinning, “you ready?”

You smile at him, telling him yes before launching yourself into the passenger seat. Chan turns the ignition, his car interior smelling like cherries from the air freshener that hangs above his head. As Chan drives, the street lamps glow on the side of the road as the moon peeks between the rainy clouds. He rolls your window down, your skin shivering at the cold chill of the night. “So, there was something I wanted to ask you?”

Turning to him, you face the chestnut-haired boy, “You remember stats class a few days ago?”

You reply, “I do?”

“Mark was looking at you the whole time. When you guys hadn’t texted in several days, he asked me if you and I were a thing during practice.”

You quirk your brows up in surprise, “And what did you say?”

Chan smiles to himself, letting out a breathy chuckle, “I said no. But, I was definitely interested.”

You allow yourself to feel nice, to feel like Chan likes you for who you are around him. Chuckling at him, you flip your hair in a sassy manner, “Well, I’ll definitely keep that noted.”

When you arrive at the party, the small two-story house looks like a sight straight out of one of those coming of age movies. The small house is jam packed with people, some hanging out on the lawn as they sip their drinks as music shakes the walls. You spot Renjun’s car from the side of your eye, meaning that your friends had gotten there before you and Chan. Upon entering the house, it’s like a warzone within it. Some people are peacefully talking by the lounge area as they feast on snacks. Some are in the kitchen mixing a plethora of colorful drinks together while also playing a form of beer pong. Girls run up and down the stairs with their friends, some with boys trailing behind them with a trance in their eyes. Some are grinding on each other on the dance floor, sensual music thrumming at the source of the boombox.

The first thing you see are your friends sitting in the corner by the backyard door, Mark on the loveseat with Cassandra practically on his lap. You instinctively grab Chan’s hand so you don’t break down right there. He gives you a surprised glance, “y/n? What’s wrong?”

Instantly, you let go of his hand as you cast your eyes down towards the floor. When you don’t answer, he sees a view of your friends laughing along with Mark and Cassandra. You feel a large hand cover yours which causes you to look up at Chan, “It’s okay y/n. Just stick with me.”

You nod, leading him to the drink table in the kitchen. When he leans down to sniff a large bowl full of sour juices and cubes of fruit, his nose scrunches in disgust, “ugh, jungle juice.”

Out of random courage, you swipe an empty cup from the tower as you shove the metal ladle of jungle juice into it. Downing it despite Chan’s protest, you feel a surge of electricity light your lungs on fire as the beat of your heart quickens from the liquid courage. He laughs, keeping his hand on the small of your back, “You surely make reckless decisions when you’re bothered by something.”

You giggle back at him, “You drink something too, you’re a winner tonight after all.” Chan reaches from a glittery purple bowl that pops with bubbles, “a toast to that, y/n. A toast to that.”

before he downs the liquid in one go. You feel his body jolt from the energy too, a smirk plastered on his face, “Wanna go play a game with some of the boys? Only if you want to, we can talk upstairs too.”

Shaking your head in refusal, you hang on to Chan’s shoulder, “Let’s go have fun.”

Chan grabs your hand, his metal chain bracelet cool on your wrist as he leads you past your friends, Mark, and Cassandra before opening the backyard door. Mark moves Cassandra off his lap, her eyes as cold as ice before she angrily gets up to get another drink. The rest of your friends sit in their circle in awe, glancing down at Chan’s hand enclosed on top of yours. Coolly waving to them, you say, “I’m outside if you need me.” before you meet eyes with Mark- his lips pressed into a frown, his irises shot with hurt. You ignore the ache that grows on the wall of your heart. You tell yourself, Mark’s ignored you all this time because he doesn’t feel the same way and never will. After being outside on the patio for a while, you meet some of Chan’s radio-club friends as all of you play a game of sorry. For a moment, Mark and the others aren’t on your mind, just the fact that Chan is pulling you into an enthusiastic hug after winning a round. You turn to Chan, “Hey, I’ll be right back. I have to use the bathroom.”

Chan smiles at you before he presses a lingering kiss to the crown of his head, “Sure thing. I’ll be here.”

You’re not even surprised that Chan kisses you, whether or not it’s the alcohol, you don’t mind it. When you head back into the house, you feel an arm grab your wrist and spin you around. Your friends are still sitting where they had when you passed them except Mark is the one boring his eyes into yours as he grabs your shoulders, “We need to talk now.”

Before you can say no, he pulls you to the quieter part of the kitchen, you say with bitterness, “What do you want Mark? I have someone waiting for me.”

Left without any patience, Mark lets out a huff, “Are you and Chan together?”

You sigh, casting your glance at him, “Seriously? It’s none of your business. Second, it’s not like you told me that you were with Cassandra.”

Mark uses his hand to comb back his black hair, making it even more messy, “Y/n. That’s because we’re not together, it’s just complicated and I haven’t had the time to tell you why or how we-”

“Stop right there. You ignored me for days Mark! You never texted or called! What was I supposed to do? Pine after you when you’re chasing Cassandra around?”

Mark’s doe eyes flash with pain, his hand tightening around the sides of your arms, “No! That’s not it! I didn’t mean it that way, I’m just trying to figure out what to do..” You shove Mark off you, his hands sliding off your arms, “Well save it. I’m done with you playing around with my feelings!”

Mark calls after you, tears streaming down your face as you try to make your way to the bathroom without being stared at. It takes all three minutes of some Chris Brown song for you to stop heaving. You feel sick to your stomach, so much for a fun night. You text Chan to meet you outside in front of the house, avoiding the corner your friends were comforting Mark at. Chan finds you leaning against his car, “Oh my god, are you okay?”

Giving him the only smile you can muster, you explain, “Listen, I’m so sorry. You invited me to this party and I just-I’m here being a cry-baby and everything. I’m just going to walk home now. I’m sorry.”

Chan shakes his head in definite refusal, “Nonsense. I’m driving you home. I’m about done anyway.”

You ask hesitantly, “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

The night drive back to your neighborhood gives you peace of mind. Chan rolls all the windows down as soft music plays from his radio, slowing the bounce of your heartbeat. He’s got one hand on the wheel and one hand rested on yours by your knee, you feel comfortable with Chan. It’s the same feeling that flutters in your stomach when you’re close to Mark and right now, you hate the thought of the black-haired boy that consumes so many of your thoughts. Before Chan’s tires screech to a stop in front of your porch, he turns to you with concerned eyes, lips pressed into a pout. “Come here, y/n.”

You waste no time collapsing into the space on his wide chest, his hands stroking your hair down. Resting his chin on your head, you close your eyes to the rhythmic beat of Chan’s heart as the soft patter of the rain is enough to drift you to sleep. You pull away from his chest, looking up at the shadows in Chan’s eyes, his hair falling near his eye-lids while he glances at your lips before looking down to his lap. He says apologetically, “I’m so sorry. I’m not trying to take advantage of your feelings right now. I’m really not-”

You cut him off with your hand pressed to the curve of his cheek, “Can I kiss you?”

He doesn’t waste time to grip the back of your neck, kissing you harshly as he bites the bottom of your lip. You sigh into him, fisting the fabric of his jacket when he moves in even closer to twist a hair behind your ear. When you detach from him, you can’t control the burst of tears that shakes your body. The alcohol blurs the vision of Mark and Chan together as your mind throbs from the effect, leaving you dizzy. You apologize to Chan over and over again, wiping the tears that fall from your eyes. Instead, he kisses his lips to the side of your temple as he urges you to get some sleep. Like the gentleman he is, he walks you to the front door, draping his basketball jacket over your shoulders. Your home is dark- due to the fact that your parents are out of town on a business trip in Toronto so you just flop onto your bed in defeat. Mark’s ringtones shoot off from your phone, notifications of several apology texts and missed calls. Not wanting to check any of them, you toss your cell phone into the grey trash bin that sits by your desk. Going to sleep feels especially difficult when alcohol still surges through your veins and you can’t control the sobs that erupt from your throat. You hear Mark’s car pull up on his driveway, not wanting to see him whatsoever. On your bed, you almost feel him looking up at your window to check if you’re awake- for once, you’re glad it’s curtains are securely shut.

The next few weeks are pretty miserable besides the fact that you’re getting closer to Chan. You don’t acknowledge Mark’s presence anymore. By Hyuck and Jaemin, you’re told he comes by to the lunch table to check if you’re there. You still hang out with your friends separately rather than in your usual group- the web that connects you slowly falling apart. It’s difficult when you have art with Hyuck and Renjun, stats with Jaemin, and ceramics with Jisung, Chenle, and Jeno- as you try to take paths opposite of Mark at the same time. Later on, you explain everything that’s been going on between you and Mark to Chan. He takes it surprisingly well by comforting you and listening to your anger, how he’s willing to let you heal before you two start anything. How could Chan be so patient with you? He says it’s because he really likes you and would rather be there for you as a friend first. When you get home, your parents give you a lecture about starting things with Mark, how they want to have dinner with his family but can’t. Of course, they feel sorry once you explain to them what really happened.

Now, the weather outside seems a lot sunnier, yellow pollen from the peonies float in the air as you make your way out of the double doors. The time is nearing for spring break- a well needed barrier from Mark, from everything. Before you walk your way home, you’re stopped by Hyuck and Renjun. Renjun holds an envelope in his hands before giving it to Hyuck, both of them trapping you, “Y/n. We’ve been looking all over for you.”

You say, “I’m going home now, can we talk tomorrow?”

Hyuck narrows his eyes at me with contempt, “No, of course not. Just hear us out.”

Renjun speaks up too, “Do you have plans for spring break? I’m assuming you don’t because you mentioned a few weeks ago that you didn’t. We’ve got 8 tickets to Victoria island.”

You reply, “And.. your point is?”

Hyuck crosses his arms, rolling his eyes, “The point is to make up. Our group is in shambles because of all this lovesick drama. A trip is a perfect opportunity to mend things.”

Laughing, you cackle at his suggestion, “If you expect me to go then that’s hilarious. I’m not going.”

Hyuck throws up his hands in frustration. “How can you kick it if you don’t even know what will happen?”

Raising your eyebrows defiantly, “Do you remember what happened when Mark and I were in the same room? Hyuck, it’s not happening.”

Renjun grumbles, flicking the envelope in my face, “Fine! We won’t invite Mark then! We just want you to come with us and then we’ll see what happens from there okay?”

Hyuck socks Renjun in the shoulder with a fist before shouting, “How can we not ask Mark?”

In response, Renjun shoots a frigid glare at Hyuck as if he’s threatening him with his eyes, “We’re just not going to ask him! Y/n, will you come?”

You pause for a moment as you stare back at the pair. You raise your voice to make yourself crystal clear, “I will only go if Mark doesn’t. Simple as that.”

Renjun bobs his head in agreement, “Deal. No Mark.”

When you walk away, you still hear Hyuck berating Renjun for his decision only to be shut up by some snarky comment that comes through Renjun’s lips. The sound of their voices falling away.

First day of spring break

By the time spring break begins, you find yourself standing in front of Renjun’s van with your suitcase packed full of your things. You’re greeted by Renjun, Hyuck, Jaemin, and Jeno first. Of course, Jisung and Chenle are seen scampering across the school parking lot with their duffel bags messily unzipped, some shirts hanging out of the top.

“Didn’t I tell you to pack the night before?” Renjun scoffs at the pair.

Chenle pokes his tongue at the older boy, wrapping his arm around Jisung’s broad shoulders. Jeno holds his hands up in the air before bellowing, “shot-gun!” straight into Hyuck’s ear- causing Hyuck to throw a whiny fit. Once our suitcases are in the back of Renjun’s car, he leans on the side of his van as if he’s waiting for something. Jaemin says, “Okay, isn’t that all? Why aren’t you closing it?”

Renjun has a wicked grin plastered all over his face, “Not everything and not certainly everyone.”

You all turn to face Mark, circles under his eyes, his hair unruly as if he hasn’t gotten sleep in 3 whole weeks. Shoot a menacing face at Renjun, you whisper at him, “You told me Mark wasn’t coming.”

Renjun gives you an evil, sinister smile, “I crossed my fingers behind my back.”

Having the extreme urge to strangle Renjun on the spot, you ponder about Renjun’s extreme lengths to reach his goal of making up. Before you can walk away from the car, Hyuck drags your hand back to the door of the van, “Ah-ah- y/n. You’re not going anywhere.”

The whole car ride to the ferry is awkwardly silent due to the fact you’re mercilessly squished between Hyuck and Mark. Personal boundaries don’t exist in the car, your legs are practically on top of each other as Mark steals side glances at you from the corner. Getting to the dock port seemed less stressful than you’d imagine it to be. Renjun had parked his van at the base garage of the ferry before unloading everyone's belongings.

Just as easy as it was to get on to the boat, it was easy getting off too. You’d make your way down to Renjun’s car, Renjun driving it down a ramp and into the pathway that opened into Victoria island. You have to admit to yourself, Victoria island looked even more gorgeous than you had remembered last time you came with your family. During springtime, all the beautiful flowers in Butchart gardens would bloom pinks and purples, the greenery would turn a lush, healthy evergreen, and the city would stay lit for the tourists. It was the perfect place to have a vacation, one with friends at that. Jaemin and Renjun booked a small cottage house for everyone to stay in, one straight out of a fairy tale storybook. The cottage ceiling looked like it was made with hay and lime-green vines, beams of cedar-wood reinforced the walls of the structure. It had a white picket fence that surrounded a small rose garden near the entrance; white lilies floating in an old, peeling fountain. Finally entering the house, you were amazed by the impeccable interior:various paintings of Victoria island, a kitchen that was big enough to seat 10, and bedrooms slacked with ivory/gold wallpaper. Like ants scattering into their units, the boys jumped on their beds that they ‘claimed’ while you and Mark stood in the middle of the hallway. Watching all of them make a clamorous reaction over who got the best room was like watching families seize their buttons during family feud. By observing them, you’ve come to realize that there were only 7 rooms instead of 8. Realizing this, you glance over at Mark who was in turn staring back at you before racing towards the end of the hall- flying to the surface of the bed. Both of you landed on it at the exact same time, faces extremely close together. Hastily, you sit up in an attempt to push Mark off the bed that you claimed first, “Mark Lee, get off my bed now!”

He incredulously stares back at you, “Your bed? This is mine!”

You exclaim, “You’re trying to take my bed now? I clearly jumped on it first!”

“No, you didn’t!”

Bickering back at forth, you and Mark don’t even realize the rest of the boys practically flailing in the doorway, Hyuck saying in a sing-songy voice, “Or.. you could shareee!”

In unison, you and Mark shout, “Hell no!”

You get up first, shoving a pillow at Mark, “Fine, you have it! I’ll room with Hyuck.”

Hyuck clicks his tongue, “Oh no you’re not, y/n. Nada. No bueno.”

Before you can argue with Hyuck or chase him out of the room for that matter, you hear Mark speak up from behind. His voice is shy and quiet, his face a shade of beet red, “You just take the bed. I’ll take the floor.”

You turn to face him as you’re about to reprimand him for such a stupid idea until you realize that it’s probably the best decision to make at the moment.

After dinner that night, everyone had settled into their respective rooms. You had changed into a hoodie and sweatpants after you had showered. You sat on your bed, texting Chan goodnight before shutting it off to charge on your nightstand. Mark had stumbled into your shared room with one pillow and a thin fabric cover-(hardly a blanket) before setting it down on the carpet. Seeing Mark in this state, it reminds you of the old days. The way that his headphones sat comfortably on his ears, his black hair matted with drops of water, and his toned frame covered with black pants and a black tee. The hollows of his cheeks make his face more prominent, his lips the color of a strawberry slice. In one swift motion, he wraps the thin cover around his body before turning on his side, “Good night, y/n.”

Unable to say anything, you shut off the lamp- casting darkness all around you. “Good night, Mark.”

You almost forget that Mark’s there in the room with you until you hear the tick of his teeth chattering and the breathy huffs from how cold it is. You sit up to take a look at his shaking figure, the thin material doing no justice as a blanket. You believe that the air bnb manager hadn’t put extra blankets or control instructions for the ac system as you had all looked for them earlier. Deciding to wrap one of the thicker blankets that’s draped over your legs, you almost trip towards Mark’s shuddering body before patting it against him. Before you turn to go back to your bed, you feel a hand curl around your fingers, Mark slightly opening his half-lidded eyes at you. “y/n?”

Pausing, you touch your hand to Mark’s cheek, “Mark, you’re freezing. You should have told me, this blanket cover isn’t any better than a piece of paper.”

Mark shifts his body closer to face you now, his hands still wrapped around yours, “i-i didn’t know.”

“Do you want more of my blankets? I’m kind of used to the cold.”

Mark says, “No, if I take them, you’ll catch a cold.”

“Mark, I’m fine, really.” You insist on letting you help him, the boy shivering from the icy temperature.

His eyes become stern, his muscles stiffening, “y/n, I said no!”

Pausing, retract your hand from Mark’s as the warmth slowly is replaced with cold air. You give him a gentle nod this time, “I-okay.” Mark sits up from his place, fingers running through his messy hair, an earbud still plugged into his left ear, “What I mean is, I don’t want you to get sick. It’d be my fault.”

Instead, you walk back to your spot on your bed, “Look, don’t take this the wrong way but, you can come warm up for a little. Just before you go back to sleep, I promise- I won’t touch you.”

In the dark, Mark’s eyes glint like swirling, black orbs as he nods at you, getting up to take a spot next to you on the bed. He leans back into the pillow by your head, the coolness of it feeling like a cold cloud. Sighing with content, he submerges his body under the warmth of the comforter, careful not to over step his boundaries with you. When Mark lies next to you, you can seem to shut your eyes. Instead, your heart beats out of your chest when you hear Mark whisper. “y/n?”

“Yes, Mark?”

He says with a heavy heart, “I miss us.”

Propping my elbow on your pillow, you turn to face him, “I miss you.”

You choke on your words, your head throbbing with dizziness when you realize what you had just admitted to Mark. You seem visibly gulp, his eyes tracing the crease where the flowery wallpaper meets the ceiling. His voice comes out shaky, “y/n..I-I like you.”

Mark’s earbud sings the words of a beautiful, familiar tune:

Said I never fall, i’d never fall and then I fell for you mhm

Back against the wall, against the wall, and against the wall, that’s how it felt with you mhm

When those words fall from Mark’s lips, all the oxygen from your lungs makes an exit and threatens to not come back in- you’re left stunned. Mark turns his face to you to see your reaction and you stare back at him, eyes widened. Before you have the chance to say anything, Mark presses his lips to yours, rising from the pillow as his nose knocks against yours lightly. You find yourself kissing him back, harder than when you kissed Chan the night of the party. The kiss is full of yearning, almost full of struggling sadness to trap the right feelings- Mark’s hand snakes a hand around your jaw in order to stabilize you. He keeps kissing you aggressively, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure as his tongue swipes your bottom lip. You pull away first, fire thrumming in your lungs as you place your hand on his chest, “Mark, you have a girlfriend. We can’t.”

Mark shakes his head slightly, “I’m not dating Cassandra.”

You make a face at him, “What do you mean? Because if I’m a rebound, I don’t want to be.”

Mark chuckles, a smirk snaking on his swollen lips, “Trust me, you’re not a rebound. And, I meant what I said about liking you.”

“Mark, you can’t just tell me you like me and then kiss me like nothing’s happened. I saw you and Cassandra with my own eyes.”

Mark sighs before gazing back at you with his obsidian-colored eyes, his skin glowing from the moon that shines slightly through the window curtains, “I’ve liked you since the day you brought those muffins to my house. I thought you would never see me as more as a friend and I tried to use Cassandra to get over you. I never wanted to burden you if you didn't feel the same. Clearly, it didn’t work. Not even partially. I’m sorry.”

You press your forehead against Mark’s, pressing a lingering kiss to the shape of his lips as you use one hand to pull the hairs on Mark’s nape- causing him to groan before reciprocating.

You whisper to him, a beautiful sound to his ears, “Why are we so difficult? We’re such idiots.”

Placing your head on Mark’s chest, both of you collapse on to the bed, sleep washing over your minds. You hear Mark giggle before putting his right ear bud into your ear, the sound of a man’s voice humming:

One weekend in Portland, you weren’t even my girlfriend

We were walkin’ and talkin’

Then somebody said.. let's get tattoos together, something to remember

If it’s way too soon, fuck it, whatever

Give me shapes and letters

If it’s not forever, then at least we’ll have tattoos together

Mmm, ‘cause I love you

When you wake up the next morning, you and Mark are greeted by Jaemin and Renjun cooking breakfast in the kitchen as Jeno, Hyuck, and Chenle play mario kart on the old television in the living room. Jisung is setting the table with eating utensils while also stopping to look at his Nintendo switch every few seconds. Aside from reddened faces and teasing, the boys had already suspected of your making-up based on the blush that coats both of your faces. That afternoon, you call Chan on the phone through facetime, letting him know that you and Mark had made up. Chan tells him how happy he is to hear it, telling you that he’s always known how much Mark had liked you and that he didn’t hold a candle to how Mark would talk about you to the basketball team. You apologize out of worry that you’ve hurt Chan but like the gentleman he is, he tells you that you’ll always be good friends especially when he’s good friends with Mark.

The next few days are like dreams. Together, you, Mark, and the boys go gallivanting across Victoria island through the sea towns made of floating boathouses and seafood restaurants. You bring your polaroid camera with you, capturing memories of Hyuck dropping his ice cream, selfies with Jeno and Jaemin, and seagulls chasing Renjun- all in a few frames. Even one morning, all of you had the spontaneous but rather, stupid decision to get matching commemorative tattoos, each of them a different flower on your wrists to commemorate your friendship. Each afternoon meant picnics at the Goldmere Provincial Park or whale watching tours out on the cobalt waters that were foaming with white. Other days you’d all visit the aviation museum or opt to sample the best chocolate fudge at Roger’s after a small hike.

On the last night of your trip, Mark had made sure that he wanted to take you down Tiffany avenue before meeting up with the boys for dinner. He’d told you to dress nicely in which you all did, leading you by the hand down the shopping street as your tulle skirt wavered behind you. When the both of you came to a balcony that overlooked the water, the ocean looked so vast like it could swallow you into the great swirls of turquoise and aquamarine as white ocean spray crashed on the sharp rocks. The sky turned a lavender shade that bloomed into a twilight pink, the sun barely touching the tips of the mountains. Mark had placed an item in your hand from his pocket, a pair of cherry earrings he had bought in a souvenir shop when you weren’t looking. It reminded you of the song on Mark’s playlist from several nights before:

Yeah, your cherry earrings are my favorite

It looks so good I had to save it

I’ve been hopin’, prayin’ we last forever

‘Cause there’s nothing better than you and I

A week ago, you told Renjun that in any circumstance, you would never go anywhere if it reminded you of your feelings for Mark, of your friends, of everything that had happened. Now, you’re glad to be able to let go, you’re able to feel the cold wind on the cliffs- Mark right by your side. Being wrapped up in the tight security of your boyfriend’s arms, (yes, Mark had asked for real this time) along with your best friends, you’re careful to not let go of them now. There’s no place that you’d rather be.

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kweebtrash · 5 years

Text

When I See You Again (M)

Genre: Best Friends to Lovers! AU, Tattoo Artist! Yuto, 1st person reader

Summary: You and Yuto had met in high school, an unlikely pair as he was the juvenile delinquent and you were just a foreign exchange student trapped in a country who’s people didn’t except you and lost in homesickness. After saving you from your worst nightmare of being trapped against the wall between some bullies, you slowly started to become friends, though friendship quickly turned into a secret crush. When your heart was just about full a devastating accident caused you to be ripped away from Japan, never seeing Yuto again. Ten years later a chance encounter on a simple vacation turns your world upside down as the teenage boy you loved was now a man who still had a hold of your heart.

Warnings: violence (fighting), mentions of blood, bullying, mentions of abuse

Features: shy yuto, fun and awkward conversations during sexy time, oral (giving and receiving), fingering, slow and gentle and mostly romantic sex, a smidgearooni of dirty talk (but cute dirty talk). Basically Yuto can be confident at times but mostly shy in bed. Yuto is also very handsy and loves kissing so theres a lot of that in case it seems overdone.

Word Count:

A/N: This was actually a request i received almost a year ago (i’m so sorry) and i finally challenged myself to finish this. I don’t really think it’s my best but I really wanted to get back into writing for pentagon. To the person that requested this i’m so damn sorry it took so long.

I hope you at least think it was worth it.

My shoes pounded against the tile as i weaved through a crowded hallway full of students. My breath burned in my lungs and my heart pounded in my ears. I dodged a student council member, spinning on my heels and almost falling to my knees before catching myself. I took quick glances over my shoulder trying to see if they were behind me. Their raucous laughter was still close by as they remained high on my tail. I laser focused on the sound, hearing it over the gossiping whispers and angry yells as i almost crashed into the other students. Up ahead I could see a flight of stairs that lead to the rooftop. It felt like a light at the end of the tunnel. I sprinted up the stairs two at a time and grabbed onto the door handle, hoping to all hell that it wasn’t locked. I flung it open with all my strength, falling through the doorway. I slammed it shut behind me, pressing my back to it taking in deep breaths until my lungs went back into a rhythm of normalcy. Up on the roof gusts of fall air cooled my skin as i walked over to the edge. It was peaceful here. No one to shame me, no one to chase me, no one to make my life a living hell. I wished I wasn't here at all. I wanted to go back home. I momentarily looked down at the bustling sidewalk below. People looked like ants from how far up I was. A wave of nausea and fear came over me and I took a step back.

“You’re not going to jump are you?”

I whipped around quickly to see that i wasn’t alone on the rooftop. He was sprawled out on his back, hands folded behind his head, and a cigarette dangling from his lips. His uniform matched mine, but it looked like he was determined to violate every dress code put into place. His blazer was open, revealing a black v-neck underneath, tie hanging loosely around his neck, and piercings all along his ears. I stared at him momentarily taken aback by his "bad boy" vibes and piercing gaze. He seemed so familiar but I couldn’t quite place him. I walked to the center of the rooftop so I could stay safe. “No...I’m not planning on it.”

“Good. With my luck they’d say I pushed you.” He pulled the cigarette from his lips and exhaled.

“Who’s ‘they’?” I questioned, still wracking my brain trying to figure out who he was.

“Police. Principal. Students. Idiots and assholes. ‘They’.” It clicked in my head then. Adachi. I had heard the name floating in conversations in the hallway. My Japanese was far from perfect but I could at least recall that name. He towered over most of the students and was always in detention, cutting classes, and getting into fights. Rumors were even spread about him being a serial killer, which seemed typical of the students here; anything to shove away people who were different and isolate them. He had a different impact than I did. While i was the weak foreigner, he was one to be feared but I didn’t even think he looked intimidating. In fact, I thought he was kind of...cute. “What were you running from?” He continued, this time in English which surprised me but gave me a sense of comfort. His accent was heavy and words a little broken but i was the same with my Japanese so I didn't care.

Ever since my family moved to Japan for my dad’s job I had been struggling to pick up the language. It didn’t help that I was thrust into public school without any time to prepare for classes fully. Everyday was becoming more of a struggle for hundreds of reasons and I wished desperately that I could go back to my own country. In hindsight that was probably the most truthful answer-that I was running from everything- but I provided him the one that didn’t reveal my true feelings.

“Girls.” I stated flatly. “Stupid girls. Evil girls. They were...calling me this word I didn’t understand and they were laughing at me. Then they cornered me. I don’t know why they were so pissed off. I don’t even think I have classes with any of them. Before I knew it they we're grabbing at my hair and were trying to cut it. I ran away as fast as I could. It's been like that since I've started school here.”

Adachi scoffed and flicked his cigarette off the side of the roof. He stood up slowly, dusting off the back of his uniform pants. “Fight back.” He stated as if it was the most logical and useful answer. “Don't let anyone know what you're scared of or else you're just going to get treated like you're nothing.”

I almost laughed at his “advice.” “That’s your great idea? To fight? I’m sure it works well for you.” I said sarcastically, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Oh it does.” He shot back at me. “You don't see me whining about people calling me gaijin and crying over being bullied, do you?”

My brows furrowed. “I wasn’t crying, asshole! It’s just irritating and annoying. I don’t understand what’s happening in my classes and I can’t even go to them without having people threatening to cause me bodily harm or throwing shit at me. On top of that, my parents would kill me if I ever got in trouble so i’m just….stuck.” I let out an exasperated sigh.

“Aww it must really suck to have mommy and daddy pout over you. Whether you follow my advice or not doesn’t mean two shits to me. But dont start whining when they come after you again.” He shrugged and headed towards the door, taking a moment to pause before turning back towards me. “People are stupid. Don’t let it get to you or else you’ll really end up jumping.” With that he left the rooftop leaving me alone at last.

Adachi…what a prick. Where did he get off telling me to fight? It was easy for him to say. He had nothing to lose. Well I assumed so anyway...Maybe I was just as bad as everyone else who judged him. A little pang of guilt hit me. I didn’t want to become like the girls who chased me or the teachers that mocked me. I wasn’t going to judge him just because he was different. After all, he tried to help the only way he knew how. I knew deep down that he was right too. I wasn’t going to show this school how miserable it made me. Maybe taking his advice into consideration wasn’t such a bad idea.

It was days before I saw him again. Occasionally, I would catch him in the hallway but we didn’t have a chance to speak face to face. That was until I had been cornered again by the same girls. It was a chorale of taunts, poking, and prodding; using their cowardice to place us behind the school where no one would see us. The main culprit was a senior who looked down at me in disdain with the most sinister of smiles on her lips. She was the one who screamed the loudest as if I could respond to the words that cut into me. I tried covering my ears to block her out but her shrill voice surpassed my blockade. My blood was boiling and I could feel my body shaking. Adachi’s advice kept creeping into my mind. Just fight. Just Fight. JUST FIGHT.

“Hey!” The deep voice cut through the screaming and made us all freeze. Our attention turned to Adachi who was standing just a few feet away, glaring at the girls surrounding me. Their demeanor changed in seconds and while their so called “leader” was distracted i closed my eyes and swung. I felt something connect with my fist and a rush of pain sped up my arm. My hand was trembling and when I opened my eyes I saw the splatters of red that stained her white uniform blouse.

“Oh shit.” I whispered in disbelief.

She held her nose and screamed in pain. Before my mind could even react further, Adachi grabbed me by my arm and started running. I struggled to keep up with his long strides, taking no time to look behind us to see if they had begun to follow. Hopefully Adachi had scared them off enough to keep them at bay. It seemed like forever until we stopped beside a nearby convenience store, panting and doubling over as we tried to catch our breaths. Suddenly Adachi burst into laughter, scaring the crap out of me. I had barely heard him speak let alone laugh before. It was...sweet albeit still a little frightening.

“I can’t believe you actually decked her in the face!”

“W-well she wouldn’t shut up! I was tired of hearing her scream and i didn’t even understand what she was saying! I don’t know what the fuck her problem is." I took a deep death and adjusted my uniform. "Thank you though. You kinda saved me back there.”

“I mean you probably would’ve gotten your ass kicked. And with the way you punched, you wouldn’t have stood a chance.” His eyes darted down to my fist that ached and was starting to bruise. “You punch with the flats of your fingers, not your knuckles. That’s gonna swell. At least you still probably broke her nose..”

“Great. I have no idea how I’m going to hide this from my parents.”

“Time to chop your hand off and say it was a random Yakuza attack.”

I stared at him, my eyes going wide for a second. “Did you...did you just make a joke?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and stood up a little straighter. “Just because people piss me off doesn’t mean that I can’t actually laugh. I’m not a robot or a serial killer.”

“So you heard those rumors?” I asked softly.

He shrugged. “It’s whatever. Sometimes I go along with it just to get people off my back. Anyway, might as well go inside and get you something cold to keep the swelling down. Stay here.”

I watched his back as the automatic doors parted and he walked in. I rested against the brick wall, trying not to think about the pain in my hand. I uncurled my fingers slowly and tried forming the fist again. It wasn’t easy but nothing seemed to be broken either. My knuckles were now a grisly blue-violet and the swelling was starting to become noticeable. I sighed and glanced down at my watch, impatiently waiting for Adachi’s return. It only took a few more minutes before i saw his tuft of black hair reappear. He held out a frozen bag of peas for me to take while i gave him a puzzled look.

“It’s the only thing they had. Just take it.”

I took the pack and held it on my hand. it made me wince but also provided a little relief. "Thanks. Do you think I could hide this from my parents?"

"No way in hell. Just keep an ice pack on it and try not to use it too much."

"You sound like an expert on this." I grumbled.

"Yeah, well," He looked away from me and returned his hands to his pockets. "I've had my fair share of busted knuckles. Anyway, do you need me to walk you home or are you cool?"

Walk me home? That wasn't something I expected from him. "Do you really want to?"

"I mean I asked for a reason, dumbass."

"Hey! Don't be a jerk! I just...I've never been walked home before and I know it's kinda a big deal here."

He shrugged. "I don't think so. This isn’t some anime romance. I just want to make sure those bitches aren't after you. It'd be hell if they found out where you lived."

He had a point. I was already harassed at school, I wasn't prepared to be harassed at home as well. "Ok, that sounds good."

He grabbed my briefcase that I barely had time to escape with and held his hand out in front of him. "Lead the way."

We walked side by side, mostly quiet and awkward. I wasn't sure what kind of conversation i should even start. I wanted to know more about him but something told me he was a closed book. I chewed on my lip, overthinking and getting anxious. "You know, i don't even know your name." He said, suddenly.

Oh, that's right. We had never formally introduced ourselves. I told him my name and realized I had to figure out the proper honorific for him. "Wait, should I call you Adachi-kun. Or Adachi-sempai? Are you even older than me? Is it Adachi-san?"

"Just call me Yuto. No honorifics. I don't care about that. It's just some authoritative bullshit."

"You're really one hell of a guy, you know that?" I couldn't help but chuckle.

There was a faint tint of rose to his cheeks, so much so that I thought I had imagined it. He looked away and scoffed. "Tch, whatever. Just keep telling me where to go."

I smiled to myself as we turned a corner. Yuto might have a secret soft spot that I was dying to pry into more. Occasionally, I was able to drum up something else to talk about. I was curious as to why he got into trouble so much but instead tried to see what kind of things he liked. It boiled down to eating and sleeping - very profound hobbies. He seemed more interested in me and once I finally got him talking I realized he wouldn't stop. His tone was still serious but I think it was mostly on account of how deep his voice was. I didn't expect him to be so talkative but it actually felt like I finally had a friend here.

A few weeks later, Yuto was supposed to meet me near my house to walk me to school. We had made a habit of walking together almost every day. It didn't matter if we were silent or talked about what happened at school or I scolded him for being a delinquent, our conversations made me totally happy and it was the one thing I looked forward to each day. This morning in particular, though, he wasn't at our usual meet up spot. I waited for a few minutes, wondering if he was caught up somewhere. It was getting dangerously close to first bell and our consequences for being late were going to be extreme. When I called him he didn’t answer which made my mind jump to conclusions and worry immediately. Taking a chance, I sprinted in the direction of the school as a gut feeling was telling me something wasn't right.

As I got closer to the school I could hear a scuffle in the nearest alleyway, close to the convenience store we had stopped back when I had hurt my fist. I saw him against the wall, facing off against two idiots. His briefcase had been tossed to the floor, it's contents spilling out and I was afraid that would happen to his guts as well as one of the attackers was holding a knife. There was no mistaking the shine that spiked across it from the morning sun. They were dressed in uniforms from a school I didn’t recognize- I had no idea who they were and I didn’t care. I was hell bent on returning the favor to Yuto from when he saved me.

"Hey!" I yelled. All attention was turned to me instantly.

"Get out of here!" Yuto said. "It's too dangerous!"

"Oh, is that your little girlfriend?" One of the bigger boys said smugly.

The knife holder rolled the weapon in his palm, adding to its already present intimidation. My heart was pounding in my ears as my eyes zeroed in on it. Adrenaline was building inside me, the same feelings of needing to fight back taking over from when I had punched my own bully. Fear was still ever present of course. I didn’t stand a chance with actually fist fighting them and they had the upper hand anyway. I could die. Yuto could die. It was risky and the odds were too stacked against us. I had to try though, anything was worth a shot if I could save him. It was the first thing that popped into my head and instead of swinging my fist i sent my leg flying up between his. With how hard I had struck him it felt like my shin had connected straight with his pelvic bone. Pain filled my calf but i was sure it wasn’t as strong as what he was feeling. The knife clanged to the ground as he crumpled along with it, holding himself as he groaned in pain. Yuto picked up the knife at lighting speed and managed to shove the other boy against the wall, pressing the blade to his neck. His tone was full of spite and anger and though he was speaking too fast for me to understand I could feel the fiery intent behind every syllable. Whatever it was, it scared the other guy into picking up his friend and dragging themselves away like wounded dogs. Yuto tossed the knife to the ground and before I could even ask if he was okay he grabbed onto my shoulders and shook me roughly.

"Are you fucking crazy?! You could've gotten hurt! Don't ever do that again!"

"I-im sorry!! I just-! You were in trouble and I didn’t know what else to do! I didn’t want you to get hurt either! I panicked!”

“You’re such an airhead sometimes! What would’ve happened if you had gotten stabbed, huh?! I cant...I can’t lose you...:” His voice softened at the end, so low that I could barely hear it. I didn’t expect him to be this emotional. Though we were good friends and shared laughs, Yuto was still blocked off when it came to deeper emotions. He was even more reserved when it came to affection but in this moment he pulled me to his chest and squeezed me as tight as he could. It shocked me completely, so much so that I didn’t even think to reciprocate the hug. I just stood there like an idiot as I felt every inch of his warmth flowing over me. It was so utterly comforting and something I didn’t think i needed throughout my time here in Japan but it seemed to heal all wounds. Eventually, it clicked in my head to wrap my arms around him and squeeze him just as tight. It felt so good and I didn’t want us to ever separate but he was the first to pull away. "Sorry I wasn't there to walk you to school."

"That doesn't matter now, idiot." I reached up and whacked my palm into his forehead gently. “Besides i’m pretty sure first bell already rang. I’m going to get into so much trouble. My parents are going to kill me when they find out and I really really realllllyyy don’t want to do detention. Is it as bad as they say it is?”

“I don’t know, i never did my detentions.” He said with a devious smile. “But I guess that just means we’ll have to skip entirely.”

“Are you insane!? That will get me into even more trouble! That’s the opposite of what I need!”

“Aww come on, live a little. You don’t always have to play by the rules. Sometimes it’s fun to break them. Besides, one day of skipping isn’t going to hurt you.”

"Adachi Yuto, are you saying I should become a juvenile delinquent just like you?"

"Hell yeah."

We laughed, harder than we should of knowing the prospect of me getting in trouble loomed over us. Though I was scared of the consequences, the idea of spending the entire day with him released thousands of budding seeds of romance that I hadn’t really known had been inside me. Sure, i would notice his tender eyes and smile that lit up my entire world like the first sunrise but I didn’t think I had a crush on him! Or rather I ignored every single one of those feelings because I knew he wouldn’t be interested in me. It was a secret I had been harboring for fear of rejection and making our entire relationship weird. With a day of endless possibilities ahead of us I hoped that I could keep my secret and remain stoic. I slipped out of my overthinking and looked up at him. "Ok, I guess you convinced me enough. I’ll play hooky but just this once!”

“Whoa, really? I didn’t think you had it in you.” He nudged my arm playfully.

“I’m nervous but spending a day with you sounds much more exciting than listening to lectures that make my brain feel like its frying.”

“I’m excited to spend the day with you too…” His cheeks flushed then and he took a step back from the closeness leftover from our hug. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his weight on his feet. “Uh, I mean, um...like-uh...What would you want to do?”

"What do you normally do when you skip?" I asked.

"Get some snacks at the store then sit at home and watch One Piece reruns."

"Are you serious?" I giggled. "That's what Mr. "Serial Killer" does?"

"Hey! It’s relaxing! Sometimes I doze off, sometimes I do other stuff. It’s nice!”

“I’ve never watched One Piece before. Is it good?”

“Is it-? It’s AMAZING! It’s basically like the greatest anime of all time. Oh my god, we have to watch it now. We’re not doing anything else.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “What have I gotten myself into?!” I laughed. “Oh, wait. Your stuff.” We both dropped to the ground and started picking up the scattered contents of his bag. My eyes rested on a sketchpad that laid open, the pages now slightly torn and dirty but I could see precise linework and expressions the drawings held.

"Did you draw these?" I asked.

He snatched the book away from me and snapped it shut. "Nevermind this. It's nothing."

"Yuto, I think they were really nice."

"No, it's seriously nothing. Forget about it."

I set my hand on his shoulder and softened my voice. "You know you don't have to be embarrassed around me."

"I'm not-" He sighed. "I'm not embarrassed really. I just don't think I'm good."

"Of course you're good. They're amazing and I think you're talented."

"Really?"

"Has no one ever told you that before?" I asked.

"No…"

"Well I'm telling you now, ok? And I mean it."

Our eyes met and a slow shy smile creeped onto his face. He turned away instantly and mumbled some sort of thanks as he worked to stuff everything back in the bag. "Appreciate it."

I stood up and dusted my knees off. "What are friends for anyway?" I extended my hand to help him up which he took.

"Friends...yeah…"

"Wanna get those snacks now?"

He only nodded, retreating back to those simple answers I was used to. I held onto his arm as we walked, looking up at him every so often. It was starting to get harder and harder to ignore the feelings that kept trying to surface every time i was with him. I wished they would just disappear already. With him so close to me now i could feel my heart pounding. It got even worse when i felt his hand overwhelm mine suddenly. He was tugging me in the direction of the store but i couldnt take my eyes off our interlocked fingers. They were so warm and long, absolutely beautiful. I could just imagine the way he held a pencil while sketching his favorite characters. I wanted to watch him do what he loved the most. He lead me across the street and to the doors of the convenience store while i stayed wrapped in my head. It wasn’t until he asked me what i wanted that i snapped out of it. I looked around at some of the pre-made food trying to decipher what the labels said and what i could infer from what the food looked like. I was indecisive between a chicken or pork bento and but figured that Yuto would be able to help me decide.

I found him a few aisles over, bent over and looking at cell phone charms like he was trying to make a decision himself. “What are you looking at?”

He straightened up quickly and almost jumped when he saw me. “Oh, uh...nothing.”

I looked over the charms, noticing that they were of popular Sanrio characters. “These are so cute. Are you gonna get one?”

“What? Me? No way! I was looking at them for my...sister! For my sister, yeah. She likes Kerropi so…”

“Really? I like Cinnamaroll. He’s the cutest little thing ever.”

Yuto picked up both a Kerropi and Cinnamaroll charm. “I could get it for you if you want.” He said with a sheepish smile.

“You dont have to do that.” I giggled. “It’s more important that your sis-”

Suddenly, the store owner sped towards Yuto, yelling loudly and tugging at his uniform shirt. He was trying to shove Yuto out, accusing him of being a no good thief and that he should be in school. Yuto showed his empty pockets and held his bag out to be inspected but the shop owner wasn’t listening. Yuto turned to me. “Look, fuck this guy. I’ll just wait for you outside, ok?”

“But you havent done anything wrong! I dont understand why-”

“Doesnt matter. He just sees me as a punk kid because i’ve come in here a little banged up before. I’ll wait for you, ok?”

I didn’t have a say in what he was going to do so i didn’t waste my breath. I watched as he set the keychains down and left the store, the owner still yelling after him. I rushed to pay for everything and get back to him. I was riddled with anger and wanted to leave as soon as possible. “That pissed me off so fucking much.” I huffed.

Yuto shrugged and began walking in the direction of his home. “Don’t waste your energy on it. I’m used to it. You and I are a lot more alike than I thought. People shit on us for being so different and they dont even take the time to get to know us. If someone actually cares about me then they’ll show it. Those are the only people I can trust.”

“Do you think you can trust me?” I asked.

“I know I can trust you. You’re the only one who’s given me the time of day and didn’t think I was automatically an asshole. You talked to me and saw me as a person. I’m glad I met you.”

I stared down at my feet, hoping he wouldnt see the blossoming shyness spread across my entire face. I clutched at his arm as we walked, softly speaking. “I’m glad I met you too. You’re my best friend, Yuto.”

“I never thought I would have a best friend...or any friends for that matter.”

“Like you said, you don’t need anyone who doesn’t care about you. It’s us against the world.” It seemed a bit dramatic to say but it truly felt that way. There was no one that i felt could come between us or anything for that matter.

We arrived at Yuto’s home, a worn down small box with tattered screen doors. It shocked me but I didn’t want to say anything. I couldn’t be disrespectful but i was concerned more than anything. “Sorry it’s not fancy like your place.”

“I don’t care about what it looks like, i just want to make sure you’re ok.”

He stayed quiet as he opened the door which worried me further. Inside there were two cramped rooms, one of which was of course Yuto’s. He guided us in and sat against the wall, facing an old square tv that looked like it was salvaged from a junk yard. I sat beside him and set the bag of food down between us. “You forgot to take off your shoes when we came in.”

I immediately looked at my feet. “Oh my god! I’m sorry!” I rushed to take off my loafers but Yuto just chuckled.

“It’s fine, just set them by the bedroom door. I don’t mind.” I set them beside the door while he turned on the small tv, banging it a few times until a clear picture formed. He flicked through the channels until he found the one that showed One Piece. I pulled out the food I had gotten us and handed him a pair of cheap wooden chopsticks.

“So,” I began. “Judging from your house set up you don’t have a sister, do you?”

He stilled for a moment then sighed. “Is this about the phone charm?”

I pulled out both charms from the shopping bag and held the Kerropi one out to him. “Now we can match. It kind of seems silly but I think it’s cute.” I pulled out my flip phone and threaded the charm through the small hole at the bottom then looked over at him. “Do you not like it?”

Yuto looked over at me, staring at me until nervousness settled in my stomach, almost making nausea hit me like a train. He inched forward, still leaving me to be an unsuspecting mess while his lips fell onto mine. My eyes widened and i completely froze. I had no idea what to do. This was my first kiss ever and it was with my best friend! Before i could even get my thoughts straight, it was over and we were back to being face to face and unsure of everything that transpired. “I’m sorry.” He said softly.

“W-what? I don’t understand…”

“i-I’ve liked you for some time now but...I wasn’t sure how you would feel. I just...i don’t know. I just felt like i shouldve kissed you. I was too afraid to tell you that I liked you. I thought you wouldn’t even give me the time of day.”

“Why would you even think that? I spend all this time with you. I trust you and im happy to see you every day. You’re the best part of my shitty life. And i want to spend it with you.” I settled my hand over his and was the one who leaned in this time, smiling as he grabbed onto my shoulder and held our kiss a little longer. We were lost in our own little world and I could finally be happy in this foreign place.

Suddenly the door slid open, barreling into the door frame and rattling it. Hovering above us was a man who looked just like Yuto, who I could only assume was his father. He was instantly yelling at us and Yuto scrambled to his feet, pulling me up with him. “You need to leave now!!”

“Yuto! What’s going on!?”

“Now!!!” He managed to shove me between the small gap in the door frame and his father. I grabbed my shoes quickly and tried to slip them on but his father was closing in on me as if i was a deadly target. Yuto grabbed onto his arm and i heard a hard thud against his jaw. I screamed after him, hating to see him hurt and wanting to obliterate his father but i was powerless to stop him. I couldn’t take him down or prevent him from hurting the person who I cared about the most. All i could do was stand in horror while Yuto screamed at me to leave. Tears were rolling down my face as i sped out of the home and towards my own. That was the last time I saw him.

The streets were bustling, the summer air thick and heavy. Thousands of people crowding the sidewalk didn’t provide any relief either. Lights were flashing everywhere; neon, iridescent, and beckoning. I had no idea what I even wanted to do tonight. A club, a bar, a cafe? I hadn’t been back in a decade- everything seemed new again. Nerve wracking and exciting. I wanted to make new memories. Memories that wouldn’t haunt me and instead make me happy. I wanted to think of Japan as my home away from home. Right now she was still a stranger. I could only see her through the eyes of tourist, which I absolutely hated but it was a start. That’s how I ended up following the crowd, wondering where it would take me. Wreckless? Yes, absolutely. My japanese was still rusty even though I tried my best to pick it up again. Getting lost still and not being able to communicate weighed heavy on my mind. The sense of adventure outweighed my fright and I carried on, looking for my next stop.

My eyes got lost in the crowd every once in awhile, observing the school girls, the punks, the lolitas, and regular office people ebbing and flowing. One particular person caught my eye- he was towering over most everyone, cell phone to his ear. That was when I saw it, a dangling charm nudging across his wrist as he walked. It looked worn, faded, the bright green now a washed out chartreuse. I swallowed hard. It couldn’t be. Of course not. The chances were too miniscule. Besides, Keroppi wasn’t that much of a popular character but I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. Just maybe it could be. I was about to embarrass myself but it was worth a shot.

“Adachi!” I screamed over the roar of the crowd. His head whipped around and my heart stopped. People moved past us and we remained several feet apart. He didn’t look like the Yuto I remembered. He was bigger, definitely. His biceps were struggling to stay beneath his short sleeves, his black denim vest staying open wide against his broad chest and shoulders. His arms were covered fully in tattoos and for a minute I thought I had made a mistake. That was until he speed towards me, his long legs carrying him in quick strides, closing the space between us in seconds. He said my name in that all too familiar honey smooth baritone that made me want to drop to my knees. It sounded deeper than it had in high school, carrying the weight of the unspoken things we wanted to do as teenagers. I looked up at him, a smile forming on both our faces before he squeezed me tight to his tall frame.

“Holy fucking shit!! I can’t believe it’s you! What are you doing here?” He exclaimed. His eyes still remained in a state of disbelief as he looked me over.

My hands rested on his biceps as I still didn’t want to pull away completely. “I-i’m here on vacation. I haven’t been back in years. I wanted to come back and...and make better memories I guess. I never thought I would see you again. Or that you would remember me.” My voice trailed off a bit at the end.

“How could I ever forget you?” The words took me by surprise, as well as his laugh after. “You had the biggest crush on me, remember?!”

I rolled my eyes, pretending playfully that the statement wasn’t true. “You wouldn’t leave me alone and I always had to take care of you because you were a pain in the ass! Always getting into trouble. All I did for that year was clean blood off you with all the fights you got into. Besides you had a crush on me too!!”

“What can I say, you like those bad boy types, don’t you?” He shifted his weight a bit and let out a small chuckle. “What are you doing right now? Going someplace special?”

I shook my head, gently moving him out of the way of the main part of the crowd. He leaned against a street sign as I stayed close to him. “Nothing really. I thought I’d just come here and see what I could find. I got tired of doing tourist shit during the day. I wanted to do something better.”

“You came here alone?” He asked and I nodded. “That’s pretty ballsy for you. Last time I checked your Japanese was shit.”

“Thanks, Asshole.” I replied in his native tongue and he threw back his head and laughed.

“I think I taught you that one.”

“You did, and now I can use it against you...Also you still have Keroppi.”

His deep brown eyes flew to his cell phone that was clutched in his hand, the slightest tinge of pink decorating his cheeks. He kinda shrugged and didn’t say anything. I smiled and dug into my small purse, pulling out my own cell phone. I held it up to him so he could see the cinnamaroll charm I too had dangling from my phone. It had long lost it’s complete white color, instead getting dirty from it’s time at the bottom of my bag or from being stuffed into the pocket of my jeans. “You’re kidding?” He said, his expressing changing completely. “Why do you still have that?!”

“Why do you still have Keroppi?” I shot back.

He looked away for a moment, pretending to stretch as his free hand rested on the back of his neck. “I...well...I missed what we had...and I was angry that you had left. I didn’t have it on my phone for awhile and I guess...I don’t know really.”

I stared down at my feet. I had never gotten to tell him the reason why I had left so abruptly. I had never wanted to leave him behind, not after everything we had shared together. But i was ripped away from Japan almost as soon as I was implanted there. “I never forgot about you.” I confessed. “I want to apologize for leaving and not getting a chance to say goodbye.”

He shrugged again, trying to keep up his nonchalant facade. “Forget it. It’s cool. You’re here now, so...you wanna go to a bar with me? We’ll drink some beer and get some food.”

“Hell yeah. I haven’t eaten in a bit. Where are you thinking?”

“There’s a spot in Shibuya that’s by my place. We can go there.”

“Perfect. Lead the way.”

He nodded in the direction of the train station and I followed him, holding onto his arm tightly so I wouldn’t lose him again.

I tossed back the rest of my third beer almost spitting it out when Yuto brought up another fond memory. “Remember when I made you watch One Piece for the first time and you just had this look on your face like ‘What the absolute fuck?’”

I nodded before swallowing. “I had never watched anime a day in my life. Well I guess Pokemon counts. And Yu-Gi-Oh. But I never did much after. But here you were a secret nerd, drawing in your little sketchbook and wanting to be a famous manga-ka.”

“Yeah, I tossed that shit out when I dropped out of high school.” He sipped on his beer licking the foam from his lips. He picked up his chopsticks, turning the meat on the grill between us so it wouldn’t burn. “Hung around some people I shouldn't have, went to jail for a bit, discovered tattooing and here I am now.”

“Yuto Adachi! You’re insane. What did you go to jail for? I-if you don’t mind me asking.”

He reclined back in his seat and took another swig of his beer. “Petty theft, a few other misdemeanors. Nothing serious. It’s whatever. What did you do, princess? After you left…”

I chewed on an already cooked piece of beef, opening my mouth in between bites to try and cool the burning sensation in my mouth. I swallowed after a minute of chewing and sighed. “My parents died. That’s why I left. It was some freak accident on the plane ride back home. They were going back just for a few days for some medical convention thing. And well...I couldn’t stay here on my own so I got taken back to live with my grandparents.”

“Fuck.” He whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Shit happens. I couldn’t do anything about it. I miss them everyday but time moves on. We move on. But that’s basically why I didn’t say goodbye. It all happened so fast. I didn’t even get a chance to breathe.”

We fell into a heavy silence. Only the sizzling of meat on the grill and the raucous patrons interrupting it. I looked over at him, seeing him watching me, and I felt bad for ruining the mood. “Sorry to be such a downer.” I tried to laugh it off a bit but it was definitely forced.

“Don’t be. Like you said shit happens. You’re here now, right? Dynamic duo back together again. I’ll show you better stuff than that tourist shit.” He split the rest of the beer he had in his glass between us then held it up for me to clink mine against. “Kanpai.”

I repeated the saying and we both swallowed back the golden liquid. “Anyway, after I went back, i finished high school, went to college. Got an office job. You know.”

“Wow, living the boring ass American dream, huh? You got a scrawny white boyfriend to go along with that?”

“Yuto!” I chucked an end piece of beef at him, watching it bounce of his chest and into his lap. He tossed it into his mouth and laughed.

“What? Asians do it better I’m just saying.” He finished off his beer, a smirk resting on his lips as he drank. His eyes locked onto mine and i couldn’t help the blush that creeped onto my face.

“I’ve been free from your annoying ass for years and this is what I get as soon as I come back? Wonderful.”

He rested his elbows on the table leaning towards me a little. “You can get a little more. It’s early, there’s still plenty to do.”

“Like what? You gonna take me to some like kinky Japanese sex club?” I joked.

“If you want to. I have no problem with that. What kinks are you into?”

“Oh my god, i was joking!” I hid my face behind my hands to try and cover up how much redder it was getting. All Yuto did was laugh at me, making me even more embarrassed.

“Me too, I’ll take you to my shop if you want. I got some of my guys there working but I wouldn’t mind taking you to see it.”

“Your shop? Like you own it?”

“Yep. Why? You don’t think I could be a successful business man?” He laughed.

“No...no. I mean...I’m proud of you. Look at you having your shit together, Adachi.”

“Hah! Barely. That’s a fun thought though.” He stood up from his chair and nodded at me to head over to the cashier for us to check out. He pushed my hand away when I offered to pay and instead handed over his card. I didn’t protest much, pretending that i didn’t enjoy free food or when men paid for it. We exited the restaurant and started walking down the streets that were less crowded in the area. All of our careless times together came up. The laughs we had over watching variety shows and anime together in his dark, hole in the wall bedroom. The few times our hands intertwined and the barely there kisses we were too afraid to ever mention. Yuto had always made my heart pound and even now there wasn’t a difference. I watched as he pressed a cigarette between his lips stopping just for a second to light it. I would be definitely pretending if I said that I wasn’t attracted to his bad boy persona. The way he carried himself- defensive yet protective, angry yet passionate, rough yet sensitive, all of those feelings from the past kept rushing back.

When we arrived at his shop there were a few customers towards the back, only separated by small wall barriers. The rest of his crew were in front, laughing over a few beers and practically cheering when he came in. He greeted them with hand slaps and awkward bro hugs while i surveyed the shop. It was cute. The setup seemed more personal rather than stuck up and like a doctor’s office. I overheard some of the guys talking about me, saying not so subtle pervy statements which Yuto shut down immediately. I pretended like I didn’t know a damn thing and let Yuto take my hand and steer me away from them. “Sorry, they’re all idiots.”

I shrugged, laughing a bit. “Don’t worry, I’m just the stupid foreigner. I’m none the wiser.”

“C’mon, don’t say that. You know I don’t think of you that way.” He kissed the back of my hand, deterring my quip. “Do you want to see my office?”

“Yeah, let me see where you work your magic.”

He unlocked a door to the left of us and lead me in. The space was much wider than the rest of the tattooing area and covered in framed artwork that he had done. He had only improved since years past, creating perfect masterpieces of contrasting light, crisp lines, and delicate details. It took my breath away. “Holy fuck.” Was the only way I could of expressing myself.

“What?” He chuckled. “Are the walls too full Does it seem claustrophobic?”

“No, i was actually amazed by your art. You’ve gotten even better since high school. They’re so good.”

“Ehh, it’s nothing fancy. Just kind of how I like to center myself, better than getting in trouble. My office is like my home away from home. Even though my apartment is above the shop.”

I circled around the tattooing bed and peeked into his cabinets of supplies. “Have you ever...fucked anyone here?” I asked cheekily.

“What? No way! One, that’s not sterile. Two, i could lose my license. Three, that’s just gross. Besides, I’m not an out in the open kind of guy. If i’m going to do something it sure as hell wouldnt be in here. Don’t be a perv.”

“I’m joking!” I hit his chest playfully. “I’m just curious about the man you’ve become.”

“What kind of man do you think I am?”

I plastered myself against one of the undecorated walls and stared down at my feet. “I don’t know. I know you’re still caring. And still a trouble maker. And...possibly still a good kisser too.”

“A good kisser? I barely knew what I was doing when we first kissed!”

“It was still nice! It was soft and slow. I liked that.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter of his supply space. “Do you...want to maybe find out if i’ve improved?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. We’re bad at flirting.” We both smiled as he stepped closer to me, cupping my face in his hand. He was slow to lower his lips to mine but when he did i clutched onto his shirt, pulling him flush against me. I was crushed between him and the wall, not protesting at all as I liked how strong and sturdy he felt. It was only mere seconds before our kiss got hungrier, deeper, and filled with long overdue moans that drove us wild. We only broke apart to catch our breaths that felt like they had been held for ages.

“Wow…” I whispered.

“What’s the verdict?”

“Definitely still good.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for another round. His large hands grabbed onto my waist, gripping as tightly as he could and accidentally crashed us into the counter. I felt the corner jab into my back and winced in pain. “Ow! Fuck!”

“Shit! Sorry! Sorry!” He looked around the still tight space. “This isn’t going to work out. Do you maybe want to go upstairs? To my place?”

I smiled a big lovey dovey dopey smile, all giggles and giddiness at the prospect of us finally being together. I nodded quickly and he grabbed onto my hand, pulling me out of the office. We tried to slip away as quietly as we could to Yuto’s apartment, not wanting to let his coworkers see us leave though a few teasing whistles followed us as we went up the flight of stairs. When we arrived at the door, he smoothly set the key in the lock and turned it. His hands weren't shaking at all but it felt like my entire body was rattling in anticipation. Once inside I could barely see as the apartment was so dark. Only haphazardly thrown city lights that fell through the window illuminating the sparsely decorated space. The lack of light didn't bother me much as I would much rather feel my way over his body. I expected him to take control, maybe push me up against the door or wall, pick me up and toss me on the bed, but he just stood there.

His weight shuffled between each foot as his gaze was more occupied by the carpet than me. "Yuto? Are you ok?" I whispered. For some reason it felt like I shouldn't startle him.

"What? Oh, yeah, i-i am…"

"You're not really doing anything...Do you not want to anymore?"

"N-no! No! I do! It's just that…" He sighed and looked like he wanted to shrink away. "I got nervous all of a sudden."

I knew Yuto had a soft side but I felt like he had been so confident back at the restaurant. His nervousness now shocked me. "Nervous? Why?"

"It's been so long. We've...I'm sure we've both wanted this since we were teenagers and now that you're here I don't want to fuck this up."

"What makes you think you will?! Yuto…" I pulled him close to me by his hands. "Yuto...don't think that, ok?" I placed soft kisses on his lips while feeding him comforting words. I didn't want him to feel pressured into perfection. I much preferred us to have a good time and not think about all the events that culminated up to this moment. We never thought that this chance encounter would happen or that we would end up in each other's arms again but now that we were it seemed more like a fantasy than reality. "Just give me you. It's all I want."

He pressed his forehead against mine and held onto my waist once more. "But I want it to be. I want it to be perfect."

"No, don't do that to yourself. I care about us making each other feel good, ok? That's all I want, swear it. Let me make you feel good."

He nodded with a heavy sigh, still a bit tentative. I decided to take over, hoping that catering to him would ease his nerves and spark that bit of confidence in him again. I shifted our positions so that his back was now against the wall as I caressed his chest and covered him in more kisses. Through the desperate battle of our lips I managed to slip my hands under the hem of his shirt and shuffle it upwards. He pulled it off by the collar, tossing it somewhere beside us while I became completely entranced by his toned body. The tight v neck he had worn left nothing to the imagination but seeing every inch of his torso uncovered was much more pleasurable than having a fabric barrier between us.

I worked my hands over every dip and striation in his muscles before lowering myself slowly, winding kissing in a heated trail down to the waistband of his jeans. When I was on my knees looking up at him, he seemed to want to protest. He gripped onto my shoulder and pushed against me ever so slightly. I ignored him, shoving his hand aside, as I busied myself with unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down to the middle of his thighs. With just enough room to expose the front of his underwear, i began to tease him with coy licks through the fabric. He let out a shaky breath as I started to increase the length of my licks flowing over the beginnings of his hardening cock. I felt the tension in his thighs finally dissipate and with him relaxing more I eased my mouth over his head and sucked slowly.

His large hand pressed into the back of my skull, not too rough or hard but enough to signal that he wanted more. I moved his underwear down to rest above his jeans, licking my lips as I saw him. I bit my lip for just a second, thinking of all the possibilities of what he would make me feel. I wanted to see his full potential and with that I wrapped my lips around him once more, guiding him so he filled my mouth. I increased the speed of my sucks, hollowing out my cheeks and gripping his base loosely. His hips worked against me, creating a flowing rhythm that coaxed soft, deep moans from him. His voice was like silk; a sensual melody that made goosebumps spread across my arms. I had always had a secret attraction to his voice but hearing it in this manner had me pressing my thighs together.

His fingertips dug into my scalp as his fingers clenched harder around my hair. His thrusts were becoming greedier as he arched his body from the wall. I looked up at him at the same moment he had happened to look down at me. Though i was hard to flex my occupied mouth into a smile, I was sure he could at least see how much I was beaming. He let out a small gasp and turned away then, shying away again. I released him, licking my lips to clear the saliva linked between us. I fisted my hand over his shaft instead, working tight strokes over his length. “Are you going to be shy all night, Mr. Beefy Tattoo Artist Man?”

“S-shut up.” He grumbled. “I’m not shy…”

I tried to hide my giggle as much as possible, knowing he was trying to keep up his tough act and failing miserably. I gave his tip as quick kiss before I rose to my feet. “I think the blush on your cheeks say otherwise.” I teased as I grabbed his hand. I tugged him forward, working my way through his apartment in search of his bedroom.

He ignored my little taunt and instead guided me in the direction of his room, all while trying to keep his pants up. I opened the door and he let my hand go to head over to the small lamp by his bed. He flicked it on and kicked off his jeans before plopping down on the mattress. He reclined back on his arms, legs slightly open and gave me the once over. “I don’t think it’s fair that you’re still dressed.”

“Oh? You dont?” I chuckled. “Does that mean I should do one of those cheesy strip teases where I toss my bra at you?”

“No way!” A big grin crossed his face as he grabbed onto my wrist and yanked me to stand between his thighs. “You’re such a dork, you know that?.”

I pushed his long jet black bangs away from his face and kissed his forehead. “Well, duh. Wait,” A question suddenly popped into my train of thought. “Do you still watch One Piece?”

“We’re about to fuck and that’s what you ask me?” He said, incredulously.

“I’m just curious! I dont know...I remembered when we were in your room and we were watching it together and I gave you the phone charm. And then we had our first kiss.” I shrugged meekly and buried my head in his chest. I was now tha one who was embarrassed that I had brought up such a dumb question at a time like this.

He kissed the top of my head and chuckled. “Trust me, I’ve never forgotten that day. And to answer your question, yes I still do.”

“Is it still on tv?!”

“Not really but the manga continued so i read that online. It’s never gonna stop, I swear. I think theres like over 800 chapters or something.”

“Who goes on that many pirate adventures?! Why in the world would-” I stopped myself as I realized if I kept talking we were going to end up on a tirade about anime. “Sorry, this isn’t really the best dirty talk, huh?”

He smiled and ran his hands over my hips. “Honestly, you’re still turning me on. I’m not that great at dirty talk anyway. I think I sound weird. I like having a nice conversation instead. Takes away from me feeling so tense.” He slipped a couple of fingers beneath my chin, raising my head to feed me a round of kisses. This time they were a bit more gentler, slower even. My heart warmed at his tenderness, fluttering a bit when the tip of his tongue grazed against my bottom lips as if he was asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I parted my lips and leaned into him more. He lowered himself back on the mattress, letting me straddle his hips and give him room to slide his hands beneath my shirt. His brushed his hands up and down my sides, flowing upwards every so often to cup my breasts and knead them within his long fingers. I tried to bite back a small moan but it escaped into his mouth and caused a chain reaction of sensations. His hips bucked up between my thighs and I could feel his hardness against the center of my jeans. His thumbs trapped my nipples in a small and tantalizing pinch and his teeth sunk into my lip and tugged on it slightly.

“Take this off.” He whispered against my jaw that he began to turn his attention to. He grabbed at my shirt and i sat back on his hips, separating us for a moment to pull it over my head. My bra came next, letting me be completely open to stare at. He used his strength to toss me down, hovering over me this time. With my body now more exposed for him, his tongue was much more enthusiastic about sliding over my chest and capturing my nipple between his lips. I eased into a sigh, falling into the bliss of the simplistic movement. His fingers trickled down my stomach before hooking onto the button of my jeans. He flicked it open and slid the zipper down to give space for his hand to fall beneath my panties. I inched my legs apart more and set one hand on the back of his head and the other to hold onto his broad shoulder. I felt his middle finger move between my lower lips, stroking the length of it and coming back to circle around my clit. I breathed out his name as my nails sunk into his skin, trying to ground myself into reality before I lost it completely.

"This ok?" He murmured once his lips left one of my nipples. I found it strange that he was checking in on me- no one had really done that for me before, especially when going so slow.

"Ah...um, yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" I asked.

He hid behind his bangs that had fallen over his forehead again. "I don't know," he shrugged. "Just figured I'd ask."

"I swear I'm ok. I'm not a delicate flower, you should know that by now." I joked.

"Yeah, don't punch me in the nose please."

"You're the one who taught me how to fight anyway." We smiled as I gripped onto my underwear and jeans and slid them off. "This is better. More room for your big ass hand and long fingers."

"A-ah...well…"

I hooked my leg around his waist and set his hand back between my thighs. "Keep going...please."

He sighed softly and slipped back into his motions, coating his fingers with my cum and working long strokes over me. I wiggled my hips in time with him, creating more heated friction that made my stomach clench. Soon enough he pushed a solitary finger inside, pressing me open just a bit and curling against my sensitive walls. I could feel his eyes raking over me; the way my back arched and hands flowed over my chest. A rumble came from deep within his throat and suddenly I could feel his breath ghosting over my clit. The heat of his tongue enveloped me while his finger still worked away, another one being added to the mix. I moved one of my hands to grip his hair, wanting his tongue to be engraved into my skin. He was cautious with his licks too, easing the tip of his tongue up and down almost in time with his fingers. I had never been blessed with someone as attentive as him. Every detail mattered.

His knuckles nudged against my entrance, signaling that all of the length of his fingers was inside me. The tips of his fingers were circling around an extremely delicate area which made a shrill moan escape me. It was similar to a childish squeak and I didn’t know that I could even make that sound, let alone embarrass myself even further. I felt him chuckle against me in a self satisfactory and smug kind of way. I tugged on his hair as a little payback and instead of a protest I got a little growl from him. Fever washed over me like a torrid wave, flowing with the tease of an orgasm. My thighs clamped around his head, making me feel like I was suffocating him but I couldnt help it. Gone was my sense of coherence as his tongue wiggled its way in beside his fingers and made me lose control. My legs tensed around him tighter, my fingers dug into his scalp, and my breath was completely gone. I felt him tap the side of my thigh as he wanted release. I eased myself down and unlocked my vice grip on him, allowing him to surface again.

“You trying to kill me?” He chuckled as he licked his lips.

“S-sorry.” I panted. “I couldn’t help it!”

He crawled on top of me, only lowering his head for a kiss. “Well, i’m glad you enjoyed it, babe. I could probably get used to suffocating between your thighs anyhow.”

I smushed his head away playfully and turned onto my stomach. "Get out of here!"

"Now who's the shy one?" I felt him work kisses down my spine, swirling patterns into my skin every few vertebrae. His hands smoothed over my hips, gently rubbing over them before cupping my ass.

"I'm not being shy!" I said, slightly muffled by the pillow I was gripping onto. "You're just...hmm…" I tried to wiggle away but he wrapped his arms around my ribcage and held me against his chest. I could feel his hardness poking at the junction of my thighs, teasing me with its subtle throbbing and neediness.

"I'm what?" He squeezed me tighter as he buried his face in my neck, distracting me with pecks.

"You're just...you know...good. You feel good. You feel like how I always dreamt you would." I slid my hand over his and intertwined our fingers tightly.

"I could say the same about you. Though you feel way way way more amazing." He kissed the back of my hand and pulled away for a moment to reach under his bed.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting a condom from my bin, why?"

"Why is it under your bed?!" I nudged him.

"It's my secret stash, okay! Leave me alone." He laughed and sat back up on the bed as he ripped open the foil.

"Who are you keeping secrets from, huh?" I asked as I booped his nose.

"No one! I told you I don’t like being out in the open!" He wrinkled his nose and shifted away from me to pull the condom on.

"Oh? What kind of other stuff you got in there, huh? Let me see!" I dove forward and tried to take a peek under his bed but Yuto grabbed me and pinned me down, using all his weight on top of me.

"Dont be such a pain in the ass!"

I nudged my ass back against him, giving it a little wiggle. "Maybe i like being a pain in the ass!" I teased. It was fun having banter like this. It felt so natural; i was with my best friend after all. We were all too comfortable with each other and that made every passing moment, every giggle, every kiss and squeeze all the better. I was still laughing but Yuto had quieted down. Instead of poking fun, his hands wrapped around my hipbones. He jerked my body onto its knees and i could feel him sliding through the wetness he had created. I pursed my lips, instantly shutting up as my breath stilled. My eyes fluttered shut, closing out the rest of the world and only focusing on him. I could no longer hear the buzzing of tattoo machines downstairs or how loud his coworkers laughed. Yuto's soft whispers of praises were the only thing floating around my head.

He splayed one of his hands on my lower back, adding just a bit of force so i dipped my stomach towards the bed. His other hand nudged between us to line himself up with my awaiting eagerness, guiding his head in. We both sucked in a harsh breath that seemed to be held until he was full seated inside. Neither of us moved; it was as if time had stopped and both of us hadnt changed. "Y-you ok?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Ye-yeah. It's fine. Totally fine." I looked back at him over my shoulder. "Go ahead and move.”

He nodded, accepting my permission. His thighs wedged between my own, forcing my legs apart wider. He pulled back, readying his first thrust and when he returned it was like i could feel every inch within the pit of my stomach. My fingers clenched around the pillow as I was stunned by how deep he was getting. Even with such little time connected together I could feel my nerves rocketing under my skin. Something about the way his hands seemingly never wanted to leave my body or the way he kept forcing my hips back against him to keep the perfect rhythm between us was making me a frenzied mess. Every slam of my ass against his hips was like heaven, which seemed silly for me to say. The past men in my life were selfish and nothing to brag about. But with Yuto it was like he was worshiping me, treating me like a queen who deserved to feel nothing but pleasure.

I shuddered when I felt his lips ghost over my spine. He kissed each vertebrae as he made his way up towards my neck when his lips resided against my ear. The softness of his labored breaths filled my eardrum and made me freeze under him. “I cant believe you feel this good.” His voice was trembling slightly as he worked through his thrusts, his bashfulness surfacing again. He had pockets of confidence but more waves of shyness which was how he always was. A defender and fighter for me and for himself but the softest angel beneath. Perhaps that was what made me fall in love in the first place.

“Years of thinking about you just like this probably gave me some practice.” I chortled but still was completely serious.

“You thought about me when you touched yourself?” He asked, astonished.

“Almost always, though it was a bit hard to picture what you looked like as an adult. I was able to still imagine what you would feel like. But you beat my expectations.” I bit onto my bottom lip as i rolled myself back against him, the tip of his cock teasing the beginnings of my entrance just a bit.

“You thought about the way I’d feel right here?” His hand pressed against my lower stomach, pairing with a swift thrust. “Or maybe here?” He traversed lower to circle the pads of his fingertips over my clit bringing a sharp gasp out of me. I nodded, pathetically admitting more to my dirty little secret that only seemed to entice him more. “I like that...:” His deep voice was accompanied by a long lick to the shell of my ear. His teeth dug into the tender cartilage, a hidden turn on of mine. His movements became stronger and it felt as if the bed was shifting beneath us. I pulled the pillow taught against my chest, clutching onto it for dear life as if it would keep me grounded and hold out long enough for a full explosion of desire. Through his sturdy plunges his fingers remained giving attention to my sensitive bud, a bit haphazard but still focused enough to make my toes plant themselves into the mattress. I brought my hand down to cover his, guiding him into the motions that I wanted a bit better. All the attention was making me a puddle of lust that was ready to dive headfirst into losing control.

“Yuto.” I whimpered. “P-please…”

He stopped suddenly and pulled away before shifting me onto my back. He grabbed my jaw firmly, forcing me to look at him. “I want to see you when you do.”

My eyes widened in surprise as his erotic statement, never expecting him to utter such a thing. A small smirk crossed his lips which folded over mine, prying into my mouth and bringing our tongues together. He shifted himself to fall back into my heat while his hand left my face and tangled our fingers together. I squeezed his hand and wrapped my legs around his torso as beads of sweat formed at my temples. He was everything I needed in this moment, or rather my life but i wasnt sure how to face those feelings yet. In two weeks I would leave but now I had a reason to stay. I couldn’t leave for fear of not seeing him for another ten years. Tears prickled behind my eyelids and i tried to will them away. I couldn’t be enveloped by sadness when i was the happiest i’ve ever been.

Yuto left my lips with a small nibble and moved his kisses down to my chest. He infused the valley between my breasts with rushed presses, shifting to wraps his lips around my nipple again and suck deeply. My body arched into his, falling into temptation as my thighs squeezed his torso. His free hand cupped my other breast, pinching the nipple to life. I wrapped my arm under his, my fingers extending over the muscles that rippled beneath his skin with every thrust he made. The swelling of his hardness only stretched me further, making me clamp down and force him to work through the tightness. His lips left my chest only to utter my name in a staggered breath. He lifted his head to see my eyes flutter close. His thumb returned to my clit, more vigorous in its fevered circles but not having to work long before i gave in. Everything rushed out of me; tension, my orgasm, my breath, his name. It was all gone in seconds and his gaze never left me. He placed a kiss on my forehead before burying himself in my neck.

He slipped his arm across my lower back, lifting my hips while i propped myself on my elbows. He rutted his hips in rough circles, gaining speed as he got closer to his own orgasm. Him fucking me just like this was a perfect contrast to us making love and the most delicious ending to our night. I held his head against my neck, nesting my fingers in his hair and assuring him that I wanted him to cum for me, cum hard and cum fast. His hold on me tightened and i was suddenly filled with heat spreading within me. We stayed together for a bit, holding onto each other before the fatigue set in big time. Slowly, we eased onto our backs, laying beside one another with our hands still being held between us.

“Damn,” Yuto chuckled. “You’re making me wish you could stay here forever.”

The sad realization returned and i let go of him to try and distance the feelings that were wedged between us. “I’m only here for two weeks…”

“Yeah? Well at least that’s two weeks of us...you know.” He gave me a wink but noticed my somber demeanor. “What’s wrong?”

“Yuto, I…” I took a deep breath and barely wanted to exhale. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. During the decade we were apart I tried to love other people but you were always in the back of my mind. I’m not sure if it was the same for you but now that we’ve somehow met again I don’t know what to do. When i go back home I’ll just miss you again.”

“I didn’t really want to think about this because it hurts too much. I don’t know what to do either. I want you here but we both have lives in different parts of the world. I can’t ask you to up and leave just to be with me. And i have my business here.”

“We’d be so far apart. What if I don’t see you again for another decade?” I sniffled.

“Babe,” He sighed and pulled me to him. “I won’t let that happen. Not again. Our parents aren’t hovering above us anymore. We’re free now. It will be hard but...if you want it then let’s do it.”

“I do want it but...i’m scared.”

“Scared? Of what?”

“Of losing you. I have no idea when I’ll see you again.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” He said. “Remember how I fought for you all those years ago? Nothing’s changed. I wont ever let you go.”

#yuto adachi #yuto #yuto smut #pentagon #pentagon smut #yuto pentagon #pentagon fanfic #pentagon fanfiction

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fantasy-pens · 4 years

Text

United By Love, Rain And Forgotten Umbrellas

Her eyes as blue as the merciful drops from the heaven. His eyes as green as the happy grass enjoying the heavenly showers. A tale of how forgotten umbrellas in the rain bring together the four lovable sides of the Love Square.

Chapter 3: A Lost Love Rekindled, A New Love Discovered

Summary: Post Miracle Queen, confusion and heart break prevails for our love square dorks. Will the rain play its role in retying the threads of the square that's breaking apart?

(Kudos to the anonymous artist of this beautiful art I found on the net! If anyone knows who the artist is, please feel free to inform! <3)

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Heavy downpour sure is a blessing for many. It rejuvenates life, removes the thirst of parched lands, becomes the symbol of eternal love…

Lightning flashed in the dark sky, only to bring into view the silhouette of a girl swinging over the city of love, sprinting on slippery rooftops and jumping over alleys. A yo-yo zipped out of her hands, wrapping around a distant lamp-post in the local park. Giving the string a tug, the girl sailed in the sky like a ladybug until…

… She felt the string slip, her hold slackening as gravity pulled her down. Not getting time to brace herself for the impact, the girl fell on her side, sliding in the mud for a short distance before coming to a stop.

Pain shot up her body as she gasped for air. No scream escaped her lips, though. How could it? Her throat was already raw due to all the screaming she did earlier.

The girl rolled lightly on the ground, cradling her left shoulder, her teeth clenched and eyes squeezed shut in pain. Maybe she should have used the teleportation powers of Kaalki to get out of the city, then she surely wouldn’t have got stuck in this rain. But she still couldn’t risk taking the Miraculouses out. Hawk Moth knew she was the new Guardian of the Miraculouses. Plus, who knows what information that conniving man had acquired from Master Fu when he had held the old man captive? No, Ladybug surely could not take the risk, at least not until she came to terms with the new reality.

Responsibility had not been ceremoniously bestowed upon her. No. Circumstances just threw the entire burden of the magical jewels and the city on the teenage girl’s shoulders without warning. There was a limit to how much she could handle, after all. The emotional collapse she had had in front of Luka… that was just the tip of the iceberg. With Lila hell-bent on ruining her ties with everyone, the responsibilities of Paris and the Miraculouses on her shoulders, her entirely messed-up and disastrous love-life and her own stupidity being the cause of the loss of the Great Guardian… Marinette had been a walking farm for akumas. Tikki had suggested she go to the countryside, far from the range of akumas, to let her emotions out. And that’s what she did.

Letting out the rage, the frustration, the despair, the agony, the hurt had helped a bit. But as she now lay on the ground, her body figuratively screaming at her for the exertion it faced, somehow, Ladybug couldn’t stop the deprecating feeling of being clumsy and useless from washing over her. Her eyes again brimmed up with tears she thought she had run out of.

“Is that Ladybug?”

The voice snapped the heroine back to attention. No. Ladybug was Paris’ beacon of hope. She wouldn’t let them see her down.

Shakily getting up, the heroine barely suppressed the wince that escaped her as her strained muscles begged for her to stop. Looking over to the civilians who had been rushing to help her up, the girl gave them a short smile and wave, and yo-yoed away.

Another benefit of the heavy downpour? The world never gets to know that you’ve been crying.

.......................................................................

Exhaustion crept over her, and one thing was clear. She wouldn’t be able to make it home like this.

Glancing around wearily, the heroine searched for a quiet place where she could give her limbs some rest. It won’t do her or Paris any good if she got ill. Especially when she was the Guardian of the city now.

A familiar mansion caught her eye. Specifically, a window that always remained open.

Her heart clenched, remembering the heartbreak she had felt the day everything went wrong. No. She wouldn’t take his help. Maintaining the distance between them was the best way to reduce her ache.

But her body wasn’t hearing any of it, for she felt herself sway as she took another step.

Looking at the mansion again, the girl debated her choices. Did she have the strength, the will to look at him, be near him, and remind her heart that no matter how much she desired, he would never be hers? She had seen them that day, the model with the fencer, staring into each other’s eyes like they were the only ones who existed. How she had leaned into him, and he didn’t back off. How they… how they clearly had feelings for each other.

As darkness started to creep into her vision, she made her choice.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. He was the only one right now whom she could trust. She could deal with her heartbreak later.

...........................................................

Romancing Camembert without spectators was... Well, not fun .

Plagg was busy spouting poetry at the best dairy product in the world (try changing his mind) when he noticed that the background ‘appreciation’ was missing.

Gazing at his chosen, the kwami noticed something was off. Like, way off.

“Adrien?”

No answer.

Well, this was new. Might as well take some risks.

The little being gingerly took the cheese to the boy’s nose.

One. Two. Three.

“PLAGG! What the actual--?” the blond finally screamed, coming out of his stupor.

“Kid, you were lost. Like actually lost, unresponsive! You had me freaking worried! Now spill, what is the matter with you?"

The blond merely sighed, running his hand through his hair as he stared at the photo on his phone.

Selfies of him, Marinette and Kagami.

Focusing on the Ladyblog window on his computer screen, Adrien let out a sigh again.

“Plagg, I am. So. Confused.”

“Confused why, kid?” the kwami worriedly asked.

“It is just that, my thoughts… they are all haywire. I… I don’t know what I want, what love is like. Everything is so, so… confusing. So many questions, so few answers,” sighing, the boy closed his eyes.

“Spill it, kid,” the little being offered. “I might not be a love expert, but maybe I could help? It is about Ladybug, right?”

“Yeah. Kinda,” the blond muttered. “I mean, I said I would love the girl beneath the mask, and I really do! But... Does she love me back? I mean, she sure sees me as her partner and of course cares about me as her best friend, and I-I do cherish that friendship, but… but I still hope for more, Plagg. Her constant rejections, frustrations at my flirting, and her admission of having a crush… They make me wonder, am I doing the right thing? Chasing after her like that?

“Like, that time when we fought Frozer, I did feel I was a tad bit too pushy. I don’t want to push her away, Plagg. But I need some certainty now… I don’t know what to do. Should I chase after her? Or should I give up? But then again, Plagg, if I am even thinking of giving up, doesn’t that mean that my love isn’t true? Ughh,” the blond buried his face in his hands.

“Kid, some other day, I would have happily advised you to leave the females and get together with my gooey delight. And I sure am not as good with all the mushy lovey-dovey stuff as SugarCube, but for one point, kid, I think chasing after the mask is only going to end up with you getting hurt.”

The kwami sat atop his chosen’s head, patting his blond hair, “You don't know who exactly she is under the mask. Chances might be slim, but maybe she is some snobby co-model you hate? Or she hates your model self? Who knows, she might be crushing on someone who hates your guts? Or maybe some sister-like best friend of yours? Or your classmate?”

“There are so many possibilities, kid, that going after the uncertain while leaving the certain is nothing short of tomfoolery. You have that Kagami girl, Pigtails, and many more! My point, kid, is just that chasing after a mask is only playing with your own feelings,” the kwami buried himself in the boy’s hair, purring and providing the human with a sense of comfort.

“But Plagg, what if..”

A whirring sound followed by a dull THUD! interrupted the blond and his kwami zoomed away to a convenient hiding place. What the boy saw shocked him.

“Ladybug?!”

The heroine in red-and-black-polka dots merely groaned in pain. Adrien ran over to help her, worried out of his wits seeing his crime-fighting partner all muddied and in pain.

“Ladybug? Is everything alright? Is there an akuma?” he asked hurriedly.

“Re- Rest,” was all the girl muttered before her eyes shut.

..........................................................................

Her head felt so heavy, like she had just been hit by some jumbo mental truck. Blinking the dark spots away from her vision, she looked around .

Big windows beyond the grey banisters. Nice view outside. The girl snuggled deeper into the sleeping bag.

Wait. Sleeping bag? Grey banisters? Big windows?

WHERE WAS SHE?

Panicking, Marinette nearly shot up straight, only to groan at the feeling of headrush and plop back down.

So, she was in some unknown place, sleeping in someone’s sleeping bag. She didn’t remember how she ended up here. The only vague memories she had were of sprinting on the rooftops in the downpour when she had decided to give in to her exhaustion and shelter herself in the Agreste Mansion…

She had been Ladybug before passing out.

Panicking once again, the girl frantically glanced at her arms. Only to find them covered in the familiar red-and-black polka dotted spandex.

Her identity was safe.

She heard footsteps climbing up a staircase.

“Ladybug? Are you awake?”

Oh dear Lord. She had certainly entered the mansion with a steeled heart, but hearing his enchanting voice, the girl felt her resolve crumbling, the choking pain of heartbreak washing over her once again.

I can’t do it... I can’t do it... It hurts, it still hurts…

“Ladybug?” She felt a cool hand on her forehead. So cool, she couldn’t help but lean into the touch.

“Oh, my god! You are burning up! Why were you out in the rain?” the owner of the hand exclaimed.

Oh! How much she wished to tell him the true reason. That she had gone out to escape being Ladybug, the Guardian of Paris. That she had wanted to be one normal teenager, free to let her emotions out without the risk of an evilized butterfly or feather turning her into a rampaging monster. That she had repented her tomfooleries, let out her frustrations with the Liar, and let her tears flow freely at the pain of the heartbreak he had caused her, even if unknowingly.

You are not Marinette right now. You are Ladybug. Be confident, composed.

“I just needed some fresh air, and well, got stuck in the rain. But I am fine, thank you,” pushing herself up with her right hand, the girl struggled to disengage with the sleeping bag and stand up.

Only for a sudden jolt of pain to shoot through her left leg, causing her to scream as she felt gravity dragging her down.

Too shocked by the sudden pain, the girl merely closed her eyes, bracing herself for the impact.

Which never came.

Opening her eyes, she looked into the concerned grassy greens that she had fallen in love with. And sadly, looking at them didn’t help her fall out of love. Instead, it only acted as salt to the burn of her heartbreak.

“You okay?”

His voice was too soft, too caring, too loving for... for just a friend , but, who was she to ignore the truth? The truth that he loved the strong Kagami, not the clumsy Marinette. That he had feelings for the fencer, not the baker girl. That he had shared a sweet kiss with a ravenette with brown eyes, not the bluebell ones.

Stay calm, stay calm, stay focused! You are NOT in love with him. Her brain screamed.

You can’t be in love with him. A soft voice from her heart spoke.

“Ladybug?”

Pulled back from her thoughts, the girl gathered herself quickly and flashed him a smile, straightening herself again. “Oh! I am alright, I am fine, it must be just a bit of exert-AAH!” Another wince escaped her as her left foot pained the moment she put it on the ground.

“You're not fine! You fell quite badly on your left side when you entered. I guess it needs to be checked.” Adrien exclaimed with concern, bending down to examine her foot.

“Oh no no! There is no need for that! I am fine! Yeah, I really am,” the girl fervently explained, her voice a bit high due to embarrassment (or was it uneasiness?).

The wince that escaped her again as she put her left foot a bit too hard on the ground didn’t help her cause.

Adrien merely shot her an unimpressed look. “Ladybug, don’t be so stubborn.”

“I am NOT being stubborn!” she protested, “And I am really fine. In fact, I guess I must go. I don’t wish to overstay.”

No matter how rude it sounded, she needed to maintain her distance. For her own safety and sanity. No, she just came here to rest and now that her limbs were rested a bit, she could make it home and snuggle in the comfort of her own bed, snuggling with her cat pil- WOAH!

Ladybug squeaked and turned an awesome shade of scarlet as she felt strong arms pick her up, bridal style.

“Wh-wha-what the hell?” the girl squeaked.

“I am sorry porte-bonheur , but you sure need to get that foot checked. So, allow this meagre civilian to take you down the stairs and check your foot. Paris can’t have her guardian angel in pain and discomfort,” Adrien replied, a hint of a smirk on his face. And was it just her, or was the boy blushing?

Shaking her head, she cleared her thoughts, mentally steeling herself.

You can’t get hurt again. Your feelings matter. He sees you as just a friend. You can’t deal with the pain of one-sided love, especially with the responsibility of the entire city on your shoulders.

…

He smells good. His arms around me feel good. His concern is genuine. No matter what, his kindness shines through.

The irony. The more she stayed near the sunshine, the more clouded her resolve of not falling in love became.

............................................................................

“Thank goodness it is nothing much, just a mild sprain due to muscle exertion I believe,” the boy exclaimed in relief, holding the spandex-covered foot with care. “I guess a little first aid will do just fine, but you seriously shouldn’t be running on rooftops for a day or two at least. Your foot needs rest.”

“I know, but- ” the heroine didn’t need to voice her thoughts. It was clear, her identity must remain a secret. There wasn’t a way she could enter her home without concealing the mask, and of course she couldn’t take her mask off in front of Adrien, no matter how much she trusted him.

What if, Adrien thought, she did conceal her mask? And took it off midway?

“Ladybug, I think I might have a plan. Plus, you are all muddied up. Wanna take a shower?”

.....................................................................................

At first, she thought he was joking. But when Adrien told her his plan, she assumed that was the only way out to help her reach home with her identity safe. And she sure needed a bath.

“I will go get you the clothes and towel, okay? And here is the first aid kit on this shelf,” the boy pointed out, then walked out, shutting the sliding door behind him.

Blinking, the girl stepped into the bathroom, shutting close the glass doors as she dropped her transformation. The kwami flew out, looking with slight worry at her chosen.

“Marinette,” she started to speak, only to be interrupted by the girl’s query.

“Why does it hurt so much, Tikki?”

“Oh. Well, the magic of the miraculous is supposed to act as a cushion for all the hits that you take, but since you are very much exhausted yourself, and I was trying to keep the energy safe for holding the transformation as long as possible, I couldn’t cushion your falls much and...”

“I meant my heart.”

“Oh,” the kwami fell silent. “Marinette, you will be alright.”

“But when Tikki? When?” the girl nearly screamed. Stripping off her clothes, she started pouring her feelings out, “For two years, I have been trying to get him to notice me as someone more, and he sees me as Just. A. Friend. And now, when I try to get over him, try to bury my feelings for his and Kagami’s happiness, he...he is again stealing my heart! I know, I bloody know he doesn’t mean to hurt me, I know that it is his caring nature, but, but… Tikki, I can’t take this! I can’t. Why, why does fate have to be so cruel? Why?”

“Marinette, it is okay to fall in one-sided love. It hurts, surely it does, but you don’t always have to conceal your feelings. Love is a rocky boat; don’t let it overwhelm you. I am not saying this because you are Ladybug, but I am saying this because you have a full life ahead of you, and it will have its share of ups-and-downs. You can’t let it burden you like this.”

The girl took in a deep, shaky breath. “I agree, Tikki. I guess- I guess I really need to get my mind off these things. I am glad I accepted the offer for shower though, this will surely help.” Smiling, she fiddled with the taps for the suitable temperature of hot water and stepped inside.

The warm water relaxed her tensed muscles, the mud from her body and the tension from her mind going down the drain as she let out a relaxed sigh.

And that was when she heard the sliding door open.

...........................................................................

Ah, the beautiful cliffhangers. But hey hey, nothing happens! They are teenagers, and that has been totally respected here. Following is just a moment of awkwardness and fluff.

Continue reading on AO3 here

Continue reading on FFn here

Finally!! For @galahadwilder @rena-rain @ceres-zephyr @enonimouse @celestialtitania. The exclusive Adrien’s thoughts on Kagami and Marinette and their realtion with LB have been included!!

.........................................................................................

As the kwami zoomed back into the bathroom, Adrien turned to his computer desk. Only for his attention to drift to the fencing match group photo he had there.

Specifically, a girl in red who was in the photo.

Kagami is a nice competitor and an equally nice friend. Sure, she has an icy fa ç ade, but I know the bubbly girl beneath it. Our meetings, our banter, the occasional flexing and punning….they were as fluid as those with Ladybug, And well, just like LB, she surely has handed me my behind on a silver platter many times.

She and Ladybug are so similar: rolling eyes at my puns, responding wittily to my flirts, bantering with me. She is so like Ladybug.

That’s when the realisation hit him. He had been falling for Kagami because… because....

I see Ladybug in her. And when she responds back, it seems like… like it is Ladybug returning back my feelings.

I...I don’t love her in a romantic way for who she really is. And I don’t want to hurt her or lead her on. I did try loving her, but no, I can never see her as anything more than a friend, a competitor.

“I...I loved the shadow of Ladybug I saw in Kagami, not the real Kagami.”

“High time you got your senses back, kid,” Plagg commented.

Ignoring Plagg’s quip, Adrien delved back into his thoughts. Kagami wasn’t someone he could see a future with. Sighing, the blond began to turn around, only for his sight to fall on the charm bracelet on his hand.

Marinette.

Her name itself brought a smile to his face.

As awkward, shy or clumsy as she is, I am really grateful to have her as one of my closest friends. Especially after the gum misunderstanding. I really appreciate the brave, strong and kind leader beneath the shy girl nature.

And then again, she is the best person I can share my thoughts with, be it as Adrien or as Chat. Her parents are sweet, she herself is Kindness personified. His Everyday Ladybug. Standing for the truth and the good. Imagining life without her presence...no, not possible.

Marinette, she feels like-no, she is my home.

The realisation hit him like a truck. Somehow, buried within his feelings for Ladybug, another little stream of feelings for a certain ravenette had sprouted, only to make its presence known to him now.

......................................................................................................

5 notes · View notes

robinrunsfiction · 4 years

Text

'Cause Heaven Knows What You Do To Me

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: None Word Count: 4,100 Author’s Note: When I was going through prompts for the Twelve Days of Christmas Challenge, I found the prompt “No one should be alone on New Years Eve” and about that same time Ryan posted an insta story of a hotel room in Vegas that he was staying in before a show and that leads us to this story. I hope you like it and have a wonderful new year! (also I have to say I can’t get over how wonderful he looks in the mood board below ok bye)

“Hey (YN), I was wondering what you’re doing for New Years Eve?” Ryan asked when (YN) answered the phone.

“Nothing, why?” (YN) asked suspiciously.

“Wondering if you wanna come along to our show in Vegas. The room is being comped by the hotel because of the show, all you have to do is pack a bag,” Ryan offered.

“But it’s New Years Eve in Vegas, doesn’t that just sound… overwhelming?” (YN) sighed.

“We don’t have to go out, we can just hang out with Dal and Breezy. Come on (YN), what other plans do you have for New Years Eve?” Ryan asked.

“None,” (YN) grumbled.

“No one should be alone on New Year’s Eve, so it’s settled,” Ryan said and (YN) could have sworn she could hear his smile through the phone and she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Fine, but promise me that we won’t get drunk and get married at a drive-thru chapel.”

“I promise, I won’t get you drunk enough to want to marry me,” Ryan laughed, but what (YN) didn’t realize was Ryan was running his hand over his face wearily as he paced his kitchen.

What Ryan didn’t know was (YN) had immediately regretted saying what she did and was cringing hard. “So I guess just send me the flight itinerary and stuff then?” she asked trying to change the subject.

“Yea, I’ll send that over and I’ll see you in a couple days.”

“Can’t wait,” (YN) smiled before saying goodbye. When she hung up, she rolled over on her couch and buried her face in a pillow and screamed. A paid trip to Vegas with the guy she’d been crushing on for years at New Years? She wasn’t entirely sure she could handle it. She and Ryan had always had a flirty kind of friendship. The little compliments they gave each other, touches on an arm, hand on the lower back in a crowd, attending events together because who else would they call? It seemed natural that he would ask her to come along on this trip, but that didn't make it any less intimidating.

Anxiety over the trip built over the following days, but on the morning of December 31st, (YN) woke up feeling surprisingly calm. She had packed a few outfits that she would feel confident wearing, and run over every possible scenario of things that could happen on this trip, which ranged from the most likely series of events (seeing the show with Breezy, going out to eat after with everyone, then retiring back to the room with Ryan to separate beds after ringing in the New Year with a responsibly consumed drink), to the least likely (an absolutely debauched, booze fueled, all-night rager that definitely included a hot tub and lots of sexy times with Ryan in said hot tub). But every time that idea popped into her head, she shooed it away, it was too much and ridiculous.

The flight to Vegas was short, but (YN) and Ryan had a ton of fun together as they always did. When they arrived at the hotel, (YN) was a little blown away, she’d been to Vegas before, but hadn’t stayed someplace this nice. Ryan went to the desk to check in, as (YN) wandered through the lobby. She glanced over at Ryan when she realized it was taking a while to check in. He ran his hand through his brown hair, and looked over at her.

“They only have a king bed room available,” Ryan said when (YN) came over.

“Oh, umm, I mean that’s ok with me,” (YN) replied, hoping it wasn’t noticeable that she was blushing.

“If you’re ok with it,” Ryan shrugged, trying to appear casual.

“Ok then, let’s get up there before you guys have to get to sound check,” (YN) smiled.

When they got up to the room, they were both blown away by how modern and cool the room was. (YN) managed to ignore the elephant in the room that was the king size bed, but then she spotted the hot tub in the bathroom and the steamy thoughts threatened to creep back into her mind.

“Oh shit,” she muttered shaking her head.

“Hmm?” Ryan asked.

“Nothing,” she smiled nervously. “I think I forgot something, but I'll manage. Did you see this view?” She asked walking up to the balcony doors.

Ryan came up next to her, standing a little closer than normal. “Yea the room is really nice. Well except for the bed thing.”

(YN) felt a pang of hurt go through her heart. “Yea,” she replied without looking up.

Ryan instantly knew he had said the wrong thing. He didn't mind the idea of sharing the bed with (YN), but he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable either. Just as he was about to open his mouth to clarify, his phone went off. It was the band's manager letting them know they had to head to soundcheck.

In the meantime, (YN) met up with Breezy in the lobby and they decided to grab coffee and walk around before heading to the venue for the show.

"So when did you and Ryan finally start going out?" Breezy asked as they stepped out of the coffee shop.

(YN) nearly choked on the iced coffee she was sipping. "What? No, we're just friends."

"Oh sorry, I just assumed since he brought you along and…" she trailed off.

"And?" (YN) pressed.

Breezy sighed. "You just seem to really be into each other."

It was (YN)'s turn to sigh. "Yea, but I don't think it's really something that's gonna happen. I mean, you'd think it woulda happened by now if it was gonna."

"Maybe the you guys just need a push, or to let the stars align, or just take advantage of being someplace new for a fresh perspective."

(YN) laughed. "You seem really invested in this."

"I just think I'm right and you guys just need to see what's in front of your faces" Breezy smiled knowingly.

(YN) and Breezy watched from the side of the stage as the band played their set with their usual gusto. IDKHow's set was in the middle of a day long musical festival with artists of all different genres. The concert was absolutely amazing, and the crowd was into the band, even though they weren't the biggest band performing, but to the four of them, the best part was the fact that their set was done by 7 PM.

(YN) loved watching Ryan play, the energy and enthusiasm he put into it was incredible and she could feel herself grinning the whole time. Ryan had spotted (YN) at the side of the stage and kept shooting smiles her way. He loved having her there and all he could think about as he played his heart out was that he wished she could be at every show.

“That was awesome, I swear you guys get better every time I see you play!” (YN) exclaimed when they came off stage.

“Thanks (YN),” Dallon beamed.

“We’re gonna go up and get ready while you guys get everything torn down and grab showers down here,” Breezy cut in before quickly whisking (YN) back upstairs.

“Do you wanna bring your stuff over to our room and we can get ready together?” Breezy asked as they rode the elevator up.

“Sounds like fun,” (YN) replied as the doors opened on their floor.

A while later, Breezy and (YN) were putting on the final touches to their hair and makeup as Dallon returned.

“Ready for a night out- woah! Babe you look incredible!” He grinned when Breezy stepped out of the bathroom, she had changed into black leather leggings and a sparkly green top. He took her hand and spun her around before pulling her into a kiss.

“Thank you love, but you should see (YN), she went all out!” Breezy replied when she pulled back.

“I think it’s too much!” (YN) called from the bathroom. She was tugging at her outfit and checking her makeup closely in the mirror. She was worried she had picked too flashy of an outfit since she didn’t know where they were going.

“No it’s not, come on out,” Breezy reassured her. Just then there was a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Dallon said.

(YN) stepped out of the bathroom just as Dallon let Ryan into the room. When Ryan saw (YN) in her short black sequin covered dress and black tuxedo jacket he could have sworn his heart stopped. He always thought she was beautiful, and he had seen her dressed up before, but tonight she took his breath away like never before.

“Wow, (YN),” Ryan started, a dopey grin spreading across his face. “You look amazing.”

“Yea, you look fantastic,” Dallon commented as Breezy beamed.

“Thanks,” (YN) said with a light laugh. “Now can we get going? I’m starving.”

Dallon ushered the group out and down the hall toward the elevator. Ryan offered (YN) his arm and she grinned as she linked her arm in his as they hurried down the hall.

"Wait, where are we going?" (YN) asked as they got in the elevator and Dallon pressed the up arrow.

"We got reservations at the rooftop restaurant," Dallon grinned.

"Seriously?" Breezy grinned and Dallon shrugged smugly.

"They're going all out for you guys tonight!" (YN) said, astonished.

"I think it's the best we've ever been treated," Ryan laughed as the doors opened on the top floor.

The restaurant was cozy and dimly lit with decor that had a vintage feel, but was still modern and fresh. The group was taken to a plush booth in the corner of the bustling restaurant with Dallon and Breezy sliding in on one side, and (YN) and Ryan on the other. The conversation flowed easily between friends as drinks and dinner were ordered.

“What are we going to do after this? Dancing?” Breezy asked, looking from Dallon to Ryan and (YN).

“Oooh yea,” (YN) grinned.

“Sure,” Ryan shrugged.

Dallon groaned at first, but a smile crept on his face. “I can’t say no to you,” he replied to his wife.

Everyone chuckled at Dallon concession as their food was brought out. (YN) wasn’t exactly sure when it happened, but at some point in the shuffle of plates being passed, she found her leg brush against Ryan’s under the table, and to her surprise he didn’t pull away from her. Emboldened, she also didn’t pull away from the hidden contact and even glanced over at him, giving him a sly smile that he returned, much to her delight.

At dinner, they got a recommendation from their waiter of a club that was a short walk from the hotel. When they arrived they were able to find a table and ordered another round of drinks and watched the crowd for a while.

When the DJ put on a new song, Breezy’s face lit up. “I love this song, let’s go dance!”

“I’ll go!” (YN) grinned, jumping up and peeling off her jacket before going out onto the dance floor.

“How’d we get so lucky?” Dallon asked, sitting back contentedly, long legs extending out in front of him.

“Hmm?” Ryan asked, his attention being pulled from (YN) on the dancefloor to his bandmate.

Dallon nodded toward the women. “How’d we get so lucky to get ladies like Breezy and (YN)?”

“But (YN) and I aren’t together,” Ryan said confused, feeling like he was starting to blush.

Dallon laughed. “Come on, you mean to tell me you don’t have feelings for (YN)?”

“Well yea, but-”

“Then make your move. She’s obviously into you too,” Dallon smiled.

Ryan ran his hand through his hair. “What if she’s not though and everything gets screwed up?”

“Ryan, I saw the way you two were looking at each other during the show. I know that look, it’s the same one Breezy gives me,” Dallon replied knowingly.

Ryan laughed and then sighed. “Yea, I mean… yea, I should, I know I should. It’s just… how do you know when it's the right time to take that chance?”

(YN) and Breezy were enjoying themselves on the dancefloor when a man approached them. “Hey ladies, how are we doing tonight?” He ogled.

Breezy simply held up her left hand, displaying her wedding ring in response. “Not interested.”

The guy turned to face (YN). “How ‘bout you Toots, you married too?”

(YN) laughed. “Well no, but-”

“Then come dance with me!”

“No thanks, I’m here with my friends.”

“Aw come on, just one song, it’s not like I’m asking you to come home with me.”

(YN) shook her head. “We just got here ok? Let us be for a while.”

The guy took a step forward, looming over (YN). She could hear Breezy saying her name, but she was frozen in place, suddenly intimidated by the stranger.

“Hey, is this guy bugging you?” (YN) heard the words and felt a protective arm wrap around her waist. She looked up at Ryan who was staring the guy down.

“Yea, like a lot,” (YN) replied.

“Leave them alone,” Ryan commanded and the guy threw his hands up in defeat before walking away.

“Thanks Ryan,” Breezy said with a weary smile.

“Why can’t the creeps just leave us alone?” (YN) rolled her eyes as the group collectively relaxed now that the stranger was gone.

“Because you’re gorgeous,” Ryan said so easily that he didn’t realize what had rolled off his tongue until he saw the stunned and amused look that Breezy was giving him.

(YN) laughed and covered her face with her hand to hide how much she was blushing. “Thanks,” she mumbled. “Anyway, I love this song, can we please dance now?”

“Yes please!” Breezy said as she started moving to the music.

Ryan turned to go back to the table where Dallon was sitting, but (YN) grabbed his wrist. “Stay,” she said.

A smile crept across his face as his hands found her waist again as she moved her hips to the beat of the music. They had been to concerts together before, and therefore had danced together, but everything about this night felt different. (YN) draped her arms over his shoulders as they moved together to the rhythm of the music.

Neither was sure how many songs had played, only that they kept moving closer to each other. (YN) felt her heart pounding in her chest under Ryan's gaze as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck. She felt like if she leaned in right then, he would have met her halfway.

But suddenly Ryan looked up, something grabbing his attention. (YN) turned and saw what he spotted. Dallon had come out onto the dance floor as well, but instead of dancing, he was saying something to Breezy, whose face was concerned.

“Dallon’s not feeling well, he’s got a really bad headache and kinda wants to go,” Breezy told (YN).

“Oh damn. Yea it’s loud and I bet that’s making it worse, we can go,” (YN) agreed.

“I’m sorry to ruin the night,” Dallon said rubbing his forehead wearily as soon as the group was outside the club, the bass still booming as they headed back toward the hotel.

“It’s fine, we understand,” Ryan said sympathetically. As they walked down the sidewalk, bustling with people on their way to their New Years celebrations, Ryan tried to decide if he should try to take (YN)’s hand the way Dallon held Breezy’s. Bu before he had made a decision they were already approaching the hotel and he realized he had missed his chance.

(YN) kicked off her heels as soon as she got into the hotel room. "That was so much fun," she laughed sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'm so glad you convinced me to come with you."

"I'm really glad you agreed to come along," he smiled before taking a deep, nervous breath. "I just really love-"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, interrupting Ryan. (YN) sighed as he went to answer it. She wanted to know so badly what he was about to say. Did he love her? Did he love Vegas? Was he about to confess his love of something, or someone, else altogether?

Ryan came back pushing a cart with a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

"Woah, where did that come from?"

"The note says ‘Sorry to cut the party short! Dallon and Breezy’.”

"Wow! Do we wanna wait until midnight to pop it open?"

"Sure," Ryan nodded, setting the note back down. "Um (YN), I was gonna say before, I really love being here with you and seeing that guy trying to get with you at the club… I just can't let any more time go by," he said rubbing the back of his neck and squeezed his eyes shut. As (YN) listened, her heart started pounding and her head spun. "I'm sorry if this makes things weird, but I'm crazy about you (YN)," Ryan said finally with a shrug, opening his eyes.

"Seriously?"

He nodded and ran his hands over his face. "I'm so sorry if this ruins everything between us, I thought-"

Ryan's rambling was cut off by (YN) standing up and closing the distance between them. "Ryan, I've had a crush on you for… years, I was just never sure you would feel the same way."

"How could I not? You're beautiful, and smart, and funny," he trailed off as her grin grew across her face. In that moment Ryan decided he had waited long enough. His hands found her waist and pulled her the rest of the distance between them.

(YN) looked up at him, one hand resting on his arm, the other on his chest. "Kiss me," she breathed and that was all it took for his lips to crash against hers. She gripped at his shirt as if it were a lifeline with one hand, as other found its way to his brown hair.

His kiss was full of longing, of hours spent laying awake at night never fathoming that this moment could really happen. And in case it never happened again, he wanted to remember every moment of it. How her lips felt against his, how her waist felt under his hands, the sounds that escaped her lips as he moved down to kiss her neck.

Ryan pulled back as he reached up and brushed the jacket off her shoulders and (YN) let it fall to the ground at her feet. She pulled him back in as she took a step back toward the bed, and he followed, barely breaking contact with her lips as she crawled up the bed and he followed, undoing the top buttons of his shirt.

(YN) deepened the kiss by letting his tongue slip against hers. She ran a hand through his hair as his hand ghosted down her side to rest on her hip, his other arm holding him up. He then began to again trace kisses down her jaw, back to her neck until he found a spot that made her moan lightly as he kissed it, a sound he decided he would never grow tired of hearing.

(YN) hadn't had a proper make out in what felt like years, but this moment with Ryan was more than she could have ever hoped for. Any doubt that clouded her mind about his feelings for her vanished when his lips met hers, the longing and caring she felt from him was incredible. The way he kept his hands on her, as if she might slip away, tugged at her heart because she knew there was nowhere else she could possibly want to be.

(YN) and Ryan were suddenly started by a loud bang outside the hotel room. They jumped apart as they looked at each other, confused.

"What was that?" Ryan asked breathlessly.

(YN) pushed the pillows away as she looked back at the bedside clock. "Fireworks, because it's midnight," she beamed.

"Oh yea," he laughed before leaning in to kiss her again. "Happy New Year (YN)."

"Happy New Year, Ryan. Do you want to open that bottle of champagne now?"

"Sure," he replied, getting up, and offering (YN) his hand to help her up.

"Do it off the balcony so you don't break anything in here," she laughed. They took a step out into the cold desert night and Ryan popped the cork off the bottle, launching it somewhere into the Sunset Strip. He poured each of them a glass before wrapping his arms around her waist to hold her close. (YN) let her head rest back against his shoulder and sighed contentedly as they watched the fireworks in the distance.

After they were done, Ryan pressed a kiss to the top of (YN)'s head as she yawned. "I'm suddenly realizing how tired I am. It's been kind of a long day."

"You're right, wanna go to bed?"

(YN) nodded sleepily as they went back inside.

The next morning, (YN) woke up with her head on Ryan's chest. He had his arm wrapped around her, holding her close. When he noticed her starting to stir, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and she looked up at him with sleepy eyes.

"Morning beautiful," he murmured.

"Morning," she mumbled and Ryan couldn't help but smile at how cute she was when she was still half asleep. "What time is it?"

"Just after nine," he replied looking at his phone.

"I guess I was tired," she said, hiding her face against the crook of his neck and she heard him laughing a little as well.

"Dallon and Breezy were wondering if we wanna get brunch with them before we gotta catch our flights."

"Yea, sounds good," (YN) replied as she stretched, squeezing her eyes shut. When she opened them and looked back up at Ryan, he was looking back at her adoringly.

"What?" She giggled.

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am. It's like the stars finally aligned for us."

(YN) leaned in for a long, languid kiss. "This year is gonna be the best yet," she murmured.

A couple hours later, Ryan and (YN) met up with Dallon and Breezy for brunch at another restaurant in the expansive hotel. Although no one dared to draw attention to it, the other couple was very excited to see Ryan and (YN) arriving hand in hand and quickly noticed the energy between them was different. The brunch was delightful, with everyone talking about their plans and hopes for the new year.

"Hey, I'm gonna run to the bathroom, (YN)?" Breezy asked.

"Oh sure, I'll come along," she smiled, getting up knowing exactly what she was in for.

"What happened?!" Breezy squealed as the door shut behind them.

"What do you mean?" (YN) replied coyly.

"You know what I mean," Breezy laughed. "You arrived holding hands and he's looking at you like you hung the moon, like more than normal."

"It was a really nice night," (YN) smiled and shrugged.

"Aww! I'm so happy for you two!" Breezy said while throwing her arms around her friend.

"I just hope this isn't just a vacation thing, ya know? Like when we get home, it's back to how we were before and it's like this never happened."

"I'm sure it won't be. He clearly adores you. I've been friends with him long enough to know."

After finishing their meals, everyone headed back to their rooms to finish packing. The reality that the whirlwind trip was almost over had finally hit and (YN) found herself feeling blue as doubts started to nag at her mind. She snapped shut her suitcase and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Hey Ryan," (YN) started.

"Yea?"

"This isn't like just a 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas' thing, right?"

Ryan looked up from his suitcase and saw the sadness in her eyes and it made his heart break a little. He sat down next to her on the bed, taking her hands and looking in her eyes. "No (YN), I'm all in for this, for us, if you are?"

"Yea,” she nodded. “I don't want this to end here. I've waited too long to throw it away now."

He leaned in and kissed her sweetly, smiling and caressing her cheek lovingly when they pulled back. "Come on, we got a flight to catch."

"Back to reality," she groaned dramatically.

"We'll have to come back here sometime when we have more time. Maybe actually use the hot tub," Ryan suggested and (YN) couldn't help but grin.

#ryan seaman x reader #ryan seaman fanfic #ryan seaman fan fiction #ryan seaman imagine #idkhow fanfic #idkhow fanfiction #idkhow x reader #idkhow imagine #ryan seman x reader #ryan seaman fan fic #idkhow fan fic #idkhow fan fiction

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imaginativecrime · 4 years

Text

7 reasons The Witcher series is a mess (or damn I need to vent)

Unpopular opinion time! For the record, I’ve read the books, played the games, hell, I’ve binged the Polish movie and series (because my love for Michal Zebrowski and Zbigniew Zamachowski is undying, sue me), and I was super hyped. Then I spent the entire series yelling at the TV, so I made a handy numbered list of the reasons why I personally consider it mediocre at best.

Because I’m fucking disappointed and I’ll never not be bitter about it. Fact.

Be warned, there are all sorts of spoilers below.

Let’s look at some of the issues that affected the show as a whole:

1) Adaptation is hard work - but you have to do it right

Adapting a story from one medium to another is difficult, you inevitably have to change things to make it suitable to the new form of expression and also, everybody wants their adaptation to be unique, to emphasize points they think are important, to reflect on the current times, you name it. But changes in an adaptation should make sense and lend themselves to the storytelling.

Many changes in the series were arbitrary, nonsensical and contributed absolutely nothing. One such example is the Battle of Sodden Hill, a terribly executed “siege” with not enough extras to fill a classroom instead of a battle of 100 000 people. Writing out Redania, Aedirn and the Brotherhood of Sorcerers from the conflict doesn’t seem to have a point to it, while the delayed arrival of the armies of Temeria and Kaedwen is both unexplained, unlikely and underwhelming, not to mention that it completely undermines the Nilfgaardian threat as a whole. This, of course, is just the tip of the iceberg of all the things that are wrong with Sodden Hill in the series.

Or take Foltest and his affair with Adda. It is perfectly clear in the books that after seven years of wizards, witchers and all manner of frauds coming and going while Foltest is obsessed with breaking the curse instead of killing his daughter, even the very last blind and deaf peasant knows about his shenanigans. It’s only logical, too. The story is relayed to Geralt in no uncertain terms at the very beginning. Now in the show the whole episode is too short to set up a murder mystery that requires Geralt’s incredible detective skills (uhuh) to unravel. What is worse is that you cannot make a big reveal of something that your audience actually has previous knowledge about. So why even bother to have Foltest deny it and have Geralt beat it out of Ostrit?

Which brings us to point two:

2) We all know which way to Temeria, don’t we?

Even if you have popular source material, you cannot expect everyone to know it. An adaptation has to consider people who are just getting their first introduction to the sandbox. When your lore is as rich as that of the Witcher, you need time and careful effort to set up your world. The show made a total shit job of this one. As in the above example, sometimes the show ignores that we, as an audience, know things.

Another example is Vilgefortz. We know him, his plans, abilities and allegiances, we have very specific expectations of his character. Besides completely failing these expectations (and doing a very unconvincing early reveal of his true colors), the show goes as far as taking Vilgefortz’s iconic sentence (You mistake stars reflected in a pond for the night sky.) and putting it in Fringilla’s mouth. Like did they actually think we wouldn’t notice? Or not be pissed?

At other times the show expects us to fill in its glaring blanks exactly by knowing our lore and characters. One obvious, overarching example of this is the issue of the separate timelines, that sometimes left even fans a little confused. Also, fun fact: one of my friends (who has no idea about anything in the Witcher’s world) for instance needed some time to realize Pavetta wasn’t, in fact, a grown-up Ciri, and he remains to this day very confused about Blaviken.

Basically, we are on a swing here, which is actually made even worse by another thing: bad pacing.

3) Hold your Roach for a moment

The first season wants to cram too much into its limited time and it has a severe negative impact on worldbuilding and character development. By bringing in all three timelines from the beginning, the show has to juggle time allotted to each.

To be frank, Ciri’s timeline at this point consists of a lot of running and screaming, which in itself hardly merits all the time we spend with her. It could have been utilized in part to provide us with a view of the war from ‘below’, to show that beyond the high politics and heroic battles there are burned villages, dead peasants, people who lost everything, cripples, deserters, ruined fields, and so on. Instead, we get one refugee camp of neat tents, actual beds, food and complaints about Calanthe (though not of dead husbands, lost homes or winter). Though I guess it should come as no surprise that the shock value of paint being made from a woman’s reproductory organs (that never happened in the books) is more important than actual large scale human suffering.

Now giving Yennefer an extended back story is great. But by that level of extension once again time is being consumed that is taking other opportunities away. Opportunities like giving Geralt himself a bit more background, clarifying points for fresh faces in the audience, giving characters more time for meaningful interaction. Because there is not enough time to let the story breathe and progress naturally, episodes are often rushed, choppy, and shallow.

4) Reverse worldbuilding, aka welcome to nowhere

Another serious issue with worldbuilding is what I suspect to be a deliberate departure from the game visuals and aesthetic. One of the things I adore most about the games is that it built heavily on Eastern European history and folk tradition. Nothing compares to the feeling when you ride into a village and you feel right at home because things are inherently familiar, or you go out into the woods and hear the exact bird song you are used to.

Netflix is very careful not to even offer a whiff of this particular identity to its show, but it doesn’t seem to have a clear artistic vision beyond that. Thus while landscapes are nice enough, other settings such as cities, taverns, ballrooms and the like are horribly bland in that “this is how we imagine the middle ages in Hollywood” way and look exactly what they are: sets. While one is not likely to quickly forget the red rooftops of Novigrad or the wild beauty of the Kaer Morhen pass from the games, there is nothing memorable about the locations presented in the series. (Even more bewildering is the depiction of the elite boarding school of Aretuza as a creepy dungeon with elf skulls everywhere. I cannot even begin to address this one unless it is all in caps.)

Point being that the show lacks an actual visual identity that would distinguish it from any other dime a dozen medieval fantasy.

5) My kingdom for a decent wardrobe

Sadly enough, the bland and flavorless visuals have a terrible effect on something else: clothes and armor. While some costumes are well done, there are way too many examples of the opposite. One very obviously is Nilfgaardian armor, which looks like fossilized trash bags with sad dick helmets. The fact that armor in the show is treated as the equivalent of cardboard is doing no one any favors. Please do your homework next time. Please?

Another inexplicable departure from the books and games is the appearance of the nobility, and most jarringly, sorceresses. That dress Yennefer picks out the first time? It’s literally the drabbest, ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, and the others are not much better. When it comes to period-accurate choices, the range is just so wide: we are talking cambric, velvet, silk, cloth of gold and silver. We are talking luxurious furs, embroidery, colorful feathers, bright dyes, coats of arms and jewelry. Brooches, necklaces, bracelets, rings, hat badges, belt buckles, hairpins, you name it. People wore their wealth. Making them look like sad orphans will not make them look any more medieval.

Peasant clothes also had their decorations, though to a lesser degree than nobles, obviously. But I guess it’s too much to hope that those would get any attention when queens are dressed like they lost a bet.

6) I see your people and I raise you mine

Including people of color in the casting choices caused a lot of heated debate amongst the fans, but at least it means that the show cares about minority representation, right? Right?

The world of the Witcher has its own minorities, and what we have seen of them so far is so incredibly pathetic that I haven’t the words. For one thing, they look so terrible that elves in the Polish series actually look better, and that was so not a high bar to exceed. To make matters worse, they again seem to lack any sort of distinguishing visual identity (except for the Dryads. I’m also willing to make an exception for Chireadan, as he actually looks right and he’s a settled elf.)

Sadly, unlike the games, the series also fails to establish even the beginnings of a compelling narrative for its minorities, which definitely needs to be in place by the time Thanedd happens at the very latest. What is more, we seem to be given something called the Great Cleansing, which is plenty obscure but comes across as a Night of Broken Glass sort of thing (though that could be just me). While still salvageable at this point, this shift in narrative is cause for some concern, and so far doesn’t make much sense.

7) Your villains are not my villains

Unlike the books and games, the Witcher series sadly doesn’t seem to excel at presenting opposing sides without the need to vilify one (which again, makes me worried about what they are going to do to the Scoia’tael later).

Nilfgaard is now an Empire of Evil (TM) that lives for killing and religious fanaticism, Fringilla is a psychopath, and Cahir... Well, Cahir is a thousand shades of wrong all on his own. Stregobor and Istredd are now assholes of a whole different caliber, and even poor Eyck of Denesle gets to enjoy his five minutes of fame as a madman frothing at the mouth instead of a paragon of knightly virtue.

This is going so well.

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #the witcher spoilers #the witcher netflix spoilers #review #crit #i am so disappointed in you #I'm legit afraid of s2

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mikauzoran · 5 years

Text

Adrienette Drabble Twenty: Impulse

(Sorry I didn’t realize that I didn’t post this!)

“Plagg?” Adrien called as he returned to his bedroom. “Wanna go for a run? I’ll give you extra cheese.”

His proposal was met with metaphorical chirping crickets.

“Plagg?” Adrien checked under Plagg’s pillow and pulled open the sock drawer. “Plagg?”

With a frown, Adrien sank onto his bed. “Maybe he’s with Dad?”

Gabriel and Plagg has been spending an inordinate amount of time together recently. Adrien was kind of worried that they were becoming friends.

“Guess I’m not going on a run,” Adrien grumbled, grabbing his phone off of the nightstand and texting Gabriel: “Is Plagg with you?”

Within ten seconds, he had a reply: “Yes. Do you need him?”

Adrien contemplated his response. If Adrien said yes, Gabriel would be concerned because he would worry his son was either planning on sneaking out to go run on rooftops or because Adrien needed Plagg to fight an akuma. There hadn’t been any attacks since Gabriel had learned Adrien’s secret identity, so they had yet to deal with the reality that Adrien would sometimes be in danger for the safety of Paris (read as: Marinette).

Adrien sighed exaggeratedly as he typed, “No. Thanks!”

“Nope. Definitely not going for a run right now,” he pouted, staring up at his phone.

He pursed his lips.

His fingers were itching to text Marinette even though he knew it was a bad idea.

He called Nino instead, but Nino didn’t pick up.

With a frustrated growl, Adrien sent Nino a text: “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got my phone back. Talk to you later!”

Adrien chewed on the inside of his cheek, reminding himself that he had promised Marinette he wouldn’t text her.

“You don’t want to look like a desperate stalker, do you?” his inner voice warned. “You’re lucky you got away with that stunt you pulled today going to the photoshoot.”

With another sigh, Adrien tapped into a prior string of texts between himself and Marinette and read through some of the old messages. While some of the exchanges brought a smile to his face, they simultaneously inspired melancholy as they reminded him of what he had lost, the intimacy he and Marinette had shared that his revelation had ruined.

Adrien dropped the phone on the bed and threw an arm over his eyes. “This sucks.”

He allowed himself a moment to wallow before he grabbed the phone and tried Nino again.

Nino did not pick up.

Adrien rolled over onto his stomach to more efficiently glare down at his screen.

The phone lit up with a text from Nino: “u need me mec”.

Adrien momentarily considered responding, “Yes, I’m bored”, but he knew better. Nino hadn’t answered Adrien’s calls because he was in the middle of something, but he had sent a text to check in, and if Adrien said that he needed Nino, Nino would drop everything and be there for Adrien. Adrien knew better than to abuse the privilege that Nino had given him.

“Nope. Just bored,” Adrien answered. “Thanks!”

“w alya” Nino lied. “talk later?”

“Later!” Adrien confirmed and then began scrolling down through old text conversations with other friends. The options were fairly limited as there were only seven or eight people whom Adrien texted, and two of those people were Nathalie and Gabriel.

He spotted a brief text exchange with Chloé from May when he’d wished her a happy birthday.

He called her on an impulse, thinking, “Marinette wants me to spend time with other friends? I’ll spend time with other friends.”

“Adri-chou, did you call me by mistake, or did you want something?” Chloé snorted into the receiver as soon as she picked up.

Adrien bit his lip. “Hey, Chlo,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“I’d assumed you’d forgotten that I was alive. I haven’t heard from you in over a month,” she accused.

“Yeah,” Adrien muttered. “Listen, Chloé. I’m really sorry that I dropped off the face of the earth on you. I’ve kind of been going through some things.”

“You mean girlfriends?” she sniffed, sounding personally offended.

Adrien winced. “Yeah. Okay. That’s fair.”

“…What happened?” Chloé inquired, voice softening as the edge came off her resentment. “A couple months ago it seemed like you were imploding, but then you started dating that redhead for a while and were stable again until you broke up with her a month ago, and then you went back to spiraling out of control. And this past week you kept disappearing. Like, even more than usual. What the heck is going on with you?”

Adrien took a deep breath and sighed. “I was in love with someone. I am in love with someone. To an unhealthy degree. I mean, to the point where I can’t be happy without her and whatever she does is fine, even if what she does is rip my beating heart out of my chest and stomp on it. I got a therapist, and she said that, basically, I need to tone it down and live for myself instead of for the girl I love, so…it’s pretty bad.”

“Wait,” Chloé demanded. “We’ll come back to the girl in a minute, but you got a therapist? Since when does your father allow you to see a therapist? Your father loathes therapists. He thinks they’re scam artists. I mean, that’s what he told Daddy when I started seeing my therapist. Are you sneaking out of the house and getting counseling on the sly, or how does that work?” Chloé scoffed incredulously.

“My Dad has actually been changing the past month. He’s really putting an effort into parenting. I told him I was concerned about possibly becoming suicidal and wanted to see somebody to help me get better, and he made it happen. I don’t think his opinions about therapy have changed, but we’ve kind of got our backs up against the wall as far as my mental health goes, so he’s willing to try anything at this point,” Adrien explained.

Chloé silently attempted to digest the information she had been given. “…You’re not actually thinking about killing yourself…are you?” she finally asked in a small, scared voice.

“No. We’re not at that point yet,” Adrien assured. “Well…I mean…okay. So last Saturday was really rough, and I may have briefly thought, ‘She’s never going to be with me, and I’m not able to love anyone else; I’m going to be alone the rest of my life. I’d rather be dead than live like that’, but I wasn’t seriously planning to do anything with that thought, so…”

Adrien fleetingly noted that this was the most honest, deep conversation he’d had with Chloé in years…since they were fifteen and her parents officially divorced. It felt bizarre and yet comfortable. Before Marinette and Alya and Nino, there had been Chloé for the longest time, and it felt good to go back to that familiarity.

“…Who’s this girl that messed you up?” Chloé seethed. “What did she do to you?”

“Nothing,” Adrien stressed. “It’s complicated. She’s liked me for as long as I’ve liked her, but we’ve kind of bungled things over the past four years.”

“—Four years?!” Chloé interrupted. “God! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“You don’t like her, and I wanted to keep my feelings secret so they didn’t mess up the friendship because I thought she was in love with someone else,” Adrien fibbed, reframing the situation from being in love with Ladybug to being in love with Marinette all along.

“I like her less now,” Chloé hissed. “Keep talking.”

“So, I loved her,” Adrien resumed, “and she loved me, but we didn’t know how the other felt, so…we were a mess. We accidentally hurt each other a lot…but then, four months ago, I decided I needed to get over her. She suggested I date other people casually, not realizing that she was the one I loved, so I tried to do what she said…only I messed it up and only managed to fall even deeper in love with her. So…yeah….”

Adrien threw an arm over his eyes again and sighed. “Last week I told her I loved her, and things blew up. She said once I get my mental health under control and stop worshipping her, maybe we can try dating.”

Chloé pursed her lips and thought very, very hard. “…I’m going to arrange for Marinette Dupain-Cheng to be assassinated.”

“Chloé!” Adrien scolded. “I didn’t say it was Marinette. Please don’t hurt her. She didn’t do anything wrong. She’s not obligated to date me, even if we are destined to end up together. This isn’t her fault.”

“So it is Marinette,” Chloé growled. “The little twit. Seducing you and then playing with you like a yoyo for years. She has some nerve.”

“Please don’t say anything,” Adrien begged. “I’m working really hard to fix things with her. Things might still work out fine. I just have to hang in there and work on getting better so that I’m in good enough shape to be with her.”

“I don’t think I want you with that spazzy, obsessive klepto,” Chloé countered. “Adrien, I know you love her, but she is literally insane. Totally one of those stalker fans. She’s been obsessed with you for years.”

“…Really?” Adrien blinked, sitting up.

“Yes,” Chloé insisted. “I know she puts on that Little Miss Perfect act out in public, but, trust me. I’ve known her since we were little. She’s a walking train wreck.”

“So am I,” Adrien whispered. “…I still want to be with her, even if she isn’t perfect.”

Chloé groaned. “She’s not just not perfect, Adrien. She’s crazy.”

“So am I,” Adrien reiterated.

Chloé threw up her hands, collapsing onto her bed in defeat. “Fine…. Fine. You love her. Whatever. Just be prepared to be disappointed, and make sure she signs a prenup. I’ll hold your hand through the divorce, but you better believe that I’m going to be screaming, ‘I told you so’ the whole time.”

Adrien had to chuckle at that as he got up to lean against his window and look out at the city. “You really think she’ll agree to marry me?”

“Oh my God,” Chloé screeched. “You are hopeless! I can’t do anything with you.”

“I’m glad you still want to try,” Adrien replied softly, regret seeping into his voice. “…It hasn’t just been the past few months that I’ve been MIA on you, Chlo. I think I’ve been slowly drifting away from you for the past few years. I made new friends and fell in love with Marinette, and I didn’t put the effort into making time for you anymore. I’m really sorry for that.”

Chloé shifted uncomfortably. “Oh, stop. No mushy stuff. I don’t do mushy.”

“But I really am sorry for neglecting you,” Adrien whispered. “I know we don’t have as much in common as we used to, but I should have kept working at our friendship. I shouldn’t have given it up so easily.”

“Stooop,” Chloé sighed in frustration.

“I miss you.”

Chloé bit her lip.

His tone was so sweet and tender and full of longing for her. Finally. But too late. She’d loved this boy for so long…. Three years prior, his words would have sent her to the moon. Now…they just made her nostalgic with a touch of wistfulness.

“Yeah,” Chloé sighed. “I miss you too, you dope.”

“Are you doing anything tomorrow?” Adrien held his breath.

“I’m free. Why?” She could always cancel with Sabrina.

“I want to take you to lunch and then shopping,” Adrien proposed. “It’s been forever since we went shopping.”

“Oooh!” Chloé squealed. “I could definitely go shopping. Let’s take my car. I’ll pick you up at twelve-thirty?”

“Perfect,” Adrien agreed. “I’m excited to see you.”

“Yeah,” Chloé chuckled. “Yeah…I’m excited to see you too.”

They said their goodbyes and rang off.

The euphoric feeling of making up with Chloé and having plans for the next day only lasted a few minutes, however, and then Adrien was back to thoughts of Marinette.

He chewed on his lip as he looked down at his phone and scrolled through his contacts. He paused, his finger hovering over the number for a minute before pushing the button.

“Hey. Wayem? This is Adrien Agreste. How have you been?” Adrien greeted cheerfully and then pulled the phone away from his ear at the enthusiastic reply.

“Good, good. Thanks. So, I was wondering if you were available to grab dinner together one night this week. My treat. I have doctor’s appointments Tuesday and Thursday, but the rest of the week is wide open.”

Adrien arranged to meet with Wayem for dinner on Wednesday, exchanged a few more of the usual pleasantries, and wrapped up the call.

And then it was back to missing Marinette. She’d looked tired at the photoshoot—still ravishing and radiant…but tired. From what little Elise would say, it seemed like Marinette was having a hard time with the situation between herself and Adrien too.

Adrien wanted to call and comfort her. He wanted to suit up and go to her balcony to tell jokes and throw popcorn at one another and try to cheer her up…but his hands were tied. As the source of her torment, he was powerless to help.

And yet his fingers burned to text her.

He scrolled down to the Ts in his contacts and called Kagami instead.

“Adrien Agreste,” she greeted neutrally, on her guard.

“Hi, Kagami. How are you?” Adrien began tentatively.

“I am well. And you?” she inquired perfunctorily.

“I’m…hanging in there,” he replied sheepishly, unwilling to lie despite the fact that he knew she was only asking because she felt obliged to.

“Did you need something, Adrien?” she asked to move the conversation along. Her tone was polite, but Adrien could guess that that was only for the sake of preserving the relationship between their families.

“I need to apologize to you,” Adrien admitted with a sigh.

“A-Apologize?” He’d thrown her off balance. “Whatever for?”

“For disappointing you. I’m sorry if I hurt you, Kagami. I know that probably doesn’t mean much, especially four months after the fact, but I wanted you to know that I am sorry,” Adrien informed penitently.

Kagami didn’t respond right away. “…Thank you,” she eventually mumbled. “I suppose there is that expression ‘better late than never’.”

“I’m sorry,” Adrien repeated. “I haven’t really been myself these past few months. I decided to try to give up on the girl I’ve been in love with for the past few years and kind of ended up having a quarter-life crisis over it. When I was dating all those girls, I was so desperate to try to get rid of my feelings for the girl I love that I wasn’t thinking about how my actions might affect the people who cared about me…. I’m sorry I didn’t consider your feelings, Kagami.”

“…Honestly? I’ve known about your feelings for Marinette Dupain-Cheng for two or three years now,” Kagami sighed. “I don’t know why I kept hanging onto the hope that you’d change your mind…. I’m the one who chose to keep giving you the power to hurt me…. I’m glad that you are sorry that you hurt me, though.”

“I had kind of hoped that maybe we could be friends going forward,” Adrien proposed but then hastily added, “I completely understand if you don’t want to have anything more to do with me than you have to, though.”

Kagami considered silently for a long while before posing a question. “Answer me this. When you were on your serial dating streak, why did you never ask me to go out with you? Am I not pretty enough? Too severe? Boring? Why not me when pretty much anyone else seemed to do?”

Adrien laughed sharply at the ludicrous idea. “Kagami, I respect you too much to casually date you. You’re very attractive, and you’re witty, and I enjoy spending time with you, but I would never fool around with you like that…especially when I know you have genuine feelings for me. I respect you too much to treat your feelings lightly.”

Kagami pursed her lips and breathed deeply. “…That’s…a very good answer. So…the real problem isn’t that there’s something about me that’s lacking. The problem is that you already love Marinette.”

“Yes,” Adrien confirmed.

Kagami hummed thoughtfully. “Obviously, I’m not happy about that fact…but it is a fact I can live with…. Very well. Let’s be friends.”

“Awesome,” Adrien trilled. “Thank you, Kagami. Hey. Monday after school are you free? I feel like it’s been forever since you kicked my butt up and down the piste. Would you be interested?”

“I would be delighted to put you through your paces,” Kagami snickered. “I’m free after six.”

“Perfect. I’ll pick you up then. …Maybe afterwards I could take you to dinner?”

“Yes to dinner so long as I pay for myself,” Kagami haggled. “I don’t want there to be any confusion about this friendship; you can pay when dinner is a date.”

“Got it,” Adrien chuckled awkwardly. “I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” Kagami assured.

The call ended with a triple beep.

“Well,” Adrien sighed. “That’s Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday taken care of. Tuesday and Thursday are counseling. That leaves Friday and next weekend for Nino and Alya…and maybe Marinette.”

He shook his head, trying to get that line of thought out.

Maybe he could even do something with Elise or his father and Nathalie after counseling…or take Chat Noir on a date. There were plenty of things to do that were not ‘wallow in self-pity over Marinette’.

“That would make her happy,” he reasoned. “She’d be proud that I’m trying.”

He stared down at his phone, wondering how upset she’d be if he texted her.

With a groan of annoyance and frustration, Adrien marched out of his room in his bare feet and made his way to his father’s atelier.

“Come in,” Gabriel called.

Plagg looked up from where he was comfortably curled atop Gabriel’s shoulder. “Everything all right, Kid?”

Adrien smiled disarmingly as he made his way over to lean against the table, facing his father at the podium. “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks. What are you two up to? Plotting to take over the world?”

Plagg snickered but did not comment.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “No, Adrien. We are not plotting world domination…. That was last month. This month we’re attempting to build a time machine. Do try to keep up, Kitten.”

Adrien had to clap a hand over his mouth to hold in the resulting chortle. “I didn’t know you had a sense of humor, Dad. I like the snark.”

“Glad I could amuse you,” Gabriel chuckled. “…Did you need something, Adrien?”

Adrien held up his mobile as if it were the woman caught in the act of adultery, exposing the phone to ridicule, shame, and judgment.

“This,” Adrien intoned. “needs to be taken away from me. I have a problem, and this phone is enabling me. I need you to take it away before I do something stupid like text or call Marinette.”

Gabriel stepped down from his dais and held out his hand for the phone.

Adrien reluctantly relinquished the device with a sigh. “Thanks. Sorry.”

Gabriel gave Adrien a comforting pat on the head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he assured. “I’m proud of you. It’s very mature of you to identify a problem and take steps to resolve it. You’re doing very well, Adrien.”

“Thank you,” Adrien breathed. “Because I feel like a failure. It’s like I can’t even do simple, common sense things right that everyone else knows how to do instinctively.”

“Nah.” Plagg flew down to rub against Adrien’s cheek. “You’re all right, Kid. You’re doing fine.”

“It’s as Plagg says,” Gabriel confirmed. “…What have you been up to since Elise left?”

Adrien shrugged. “Today—I’m assuming Plagg already told you all about today.”

Gabriel nodded.

Adrien sighed. “Marinette apparently needs more space than I had originally anticipated. Today she said that it might be a couple weeks still before she’s ready to hang out again.”

Adrien shrank in misery as he relived that moment: the pain on Marinette’s face as she had to keep telling him no. The sharp explosion in his chest as she brought the knife of “no” down over and over.

“Marinette said that I should hang out with other friends instead, and, as you and I determined this afternoon, that means Nino and Alya.”

Gabriel nodded, wondering if there was some way, magical or otherwise, to get Marinette to want to be with Adrien sooner. His better judgment, informed by the stack of parenting guidebooks he’d been reading, told him not to meddle.

“But I was thinking about how you said I should get some more friends,” Adrien continued, oblivious to Gabriel’s mental tangent. “So I called some people and made plans with them for the coming week. I hope that was okay,” Adrien added, suddenly questioning himself. “I knew Nathalie had cleared my schedule for this week besides the counseling appointments, so I thought…”

“No, that’s wonderful, Adrien,” Gabriel stressed. “That’s fantastic that you took the initiative to reach out to people. …With whom did you make plans?”

Adrien brightened a little at the praise. “Well, tomorrow I’m having lunch with Chloé, and then I’m taking her shopping. Monday after school I’m fencing with Kagami, and then we’re going to have dinner together. Wednesday, I’m meeting Wayem for dinner—you remember Wayem?”

Gabriel frowned and made an educated guess. “Your rather enthusiastic fanboy?”

Adrien nodded.

“You’ve been very industrious in making plans,” Gabriel observed.

A sheepish smile broke out on Adrien’s face. “Well, I was trying to keep from calling Marinette, so I called other people.”

Plagg settled on top of Adrien’s head. “You must have been pretty desperate.”

“Yeah?” Adrien bashfully admitted. “That’s kind of why I came to enlist aid.” He turned to his father. “I’ll need that back tomorrow morning, by the way. You know, in case Chloé or someone texts me about plans. And Nino said he would touch base with me too.”

“You can have the phone back at breakfast,” Gabriel promised.

“Okay,” Adrien sighed, not knowing if he’d be able to handle having the phone and not contacting Marinette. “Thank you, Dad.”

Gabriel gave Adrien a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“…And thank you for allowing me to have Elise over today,” Adrien added.

“You’re welcome,” Gabriel replied cordially, pleased that he and his son were finally communicating successfully after so many years of Gabriel feeling at a loss when he spoke with Adrien.

“I had a lot of fun hanging out with her, and she had some really great advice,” Adrien continued. “Unfortunately, she’s an expert at dealing with breakups and self-esteem issues, so…” Adrien bit his lip, hesitating. “…Do you think I could have her over again sometime?”

Gabriel took a moment to consider. “Yes, I don’t see why not. Elise seems like an acceptable friend. I’m glad that things went so well with her today.”

Adrien drew a breath. “Do you think…maybe I could have other friends over sometime?”

“You mean like Monsieur Lahiffe.” Gabriel sighed.

“And others. Once I make more friends.” Adrien smiled uncertainly.

Gabriel frowned. His gut reaction was to say no, but he had a feeling that the parenting guidebooks would encourage him to say yes and allow his eighteen-year-old some autonomy.

Gabriel hated the concept of autonomy.

With another sigh, Gabriel offered a compromise. “We’ll take it on a case-by-case basis. Ask me first, and then I’ll try to say yes.”

“Thank you, Dad!” Adrien cheered as he wrapped Gabriel in a hug.

Gabriel gave a start in surprise at first, but his arms quickly returned the embrace. They were slowly but surely growing accustomed to the action.

“You’re welcome…. I’m trying,” he added in a small, humbled voice.

“Thank you for trying,” Adrien whispered into Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Thank you for giving me another chance.”

#Adrienette #Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction #Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Adrien Agreste #Adrien Agreste #Mikau's Writings #There's a Daisy #Chloé Bourgeois #Kagami Tsurugi #Gabriel Agreste

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royallyanxious · 5 years

Text

Secrets in the snow

Logan goes back home and thinks that it’s just a wonderful weather to take Roman out on a walk.

aka: brains and booty in love

Paring: logince

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff

AO3 link

The streets were completely white with the soft pieces of cotton falling from the navy blue sky. The snow was crispy under Logan’s feet. As cliche as it was Logan liked winter best. There was something relaxing in the snow lazily covering every inch of the street. Something calm about the white rooftops and trees. Something incredibly peaceful about the warm light coming from the houses he used to pass by every day.

Logan sighed. Even though he could appreciate the aesthetic, he thought that if only his boyfriend would be here, he would immediately point out all the beautiful details that Logan was missing out. Because surely Logan was missing out a lot. He didn’t have the artistic sensitivity that Roman had. And sometimes Logan even envied him these creativity and dream-likeness of his. It took Logan years to learn how to cherish the beauty of small moments while Roman was able to do it absolutely effortlessly. And he deemed it his life-mission to teach that to Logan. But Logan for once in his life was a really terrible student - for most of the time he much more prefered staring at his boyfriend than looking at the view.

He put hands in the pockets of his coat and nozzled the scarf wrapped around his neck. Present from Roman, of course. At the beginning of autumn Roman decided to learn how to knit from Patton and though knitting might not be the greatest of Roman’s talents, Logan still was wearing these terrible scarfs. They were much warmer than any scarf he had ever owned.

Roman and Logan had been in a relationship for over 2 years and yet every time Logan thought of his boyfriend, his heart was turning into a big “pile of mushy goo” as Logan’s brother Patton had called that feeling. Logan didn’t deny that. But how could he not react that way, if he was blessed to have the most magical boyfriend on earth? Roman was everything Logan could have dreamt of! He was caring and kind, smart in his own illogical way (which sometimes drove Logan crazy but he loved it for most of the time) and a little bit adventurous.

It was Roman who learnt Logan the true meaning of the word “beauty” (“Beauty has many forms, Lo. So if you see beauty in those terrible numbers of yours then it’s valid!”). It was Roman who dragged Logan out of his crib. And finally it was Roman who showed Logan what a true love was.

Once again, Logan eyes took in the winter scenery. It was a little bit blurry with the fog covering his glasses but nonetheless - incredible. Sorts of magical even. Just like Roman was. Logan glanced at his watch, shivering ever so slightly when cold air licked his exposed patch of skin. It wasn’t as late as he had expected. With a nod, he sped up his pace a little bit. It was Friday evening and suddenly he felt that it would be very selfish to leave this view to be enjoyed only by him.

Quickly, Logan crossed street after street until he arrived to the flat Roman and him shared. Unable to break the habit, he changed the mailbox and seeing that nothing was there, he started walking up the stairs. If it was possible his glasses were even more foggy now.

He knocked the door twice before pressing the door handle. He sighed when the door opened smoothly.

“Roman, you forgot to lock the door! Again. I could be a murderer!” Logan pointed out as a greeting but he couldn’t wipe out the smile forming in the corners of his lips, when Roman’s head peeked behind the corner.

“Hello to you too, love.” Roman flashed his wonderful bright smile, before pecking Logan’s lips. “Ugh, so cold.” he shuddered.

“Some would say that it’s as cold as my heart.” mumbled Logan, wiping his glasses.

“Some would be very wrong then.” Roman’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you not taking off your coat? Surely, you’re not here to tell me that we’re going to Patton today, right?” asked Roman blushing slightly.

“No, but I was wondering if by any chance you would accompany me on a walk?” Logan coughed out, adjusting his glasses. He was starting to feel hot. “But if you have plans we can postpone that if the weather allows.”

Roman stared at him for a moment, his face expression unreadable. He tilted his head a little bit which was a usual sign of Roman being deep in his thoughts. Finally he clapped his hands, making Logan jump a little bit.

“But of course, I will take a walk with you!” Roman grinned brightly, jolts of joy shining through his chocolate eyes. “A night walk in the snow! How romantic!” he cooed with delight and Logan couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes it was so easy to make Roman happy.

“So, shall we?” he asked offering an arm and mentally cringed at himself. Roman was still in his sweatpants afterall.

“Um, sure. Just… give me a minute or two, dearest.” Roman said, looking away. “You can… hmm, wait outside. It’s hot for you in here. And it’s not only because of me.” he winked and turned around to disappear in their bedroom, leaving Logan alone and blushing.

“Outside the building it is.” he confirmed out loud, just in case.

“Date it is!” laughed Roman from the room,

“We’ve been waiting for over two years!” replied Logan as was leaving the flat with silly smile on his face.

In fact, Roman always made him feel as though they has just started dating. Everything with him was fresh, even if they had done this thousands of times. Logan once again hid his face in the horrendous scarf, trying to hide his obvious blush. He wasn’t a teenager anymore for god’s sake!

When he walked outside he noticed that it was still snowing. He looked up and few snowflakes fell on his glasses. He took them off trying to get rid of unwanted wet smudges. It was all Roman’s influence. Staring up at the sky, enjoying the view… Logan never did such things before he met his boyfriend. He sighed again and put on his glasses.

His gaze traced after a woman walking with a small dog. It was one of these dogs that were so white that they almost disappeared in the snow. Logan smiled as they were passing him by, even though he knew that the woman wouldn’t notice his smile. It was also something he picked up from Roman - smiling without any big reason.

“Just smile, Lo!” echoed in Logan’s head and he smiled even wider.

The woman caught his gaze and smiled delicately at him and even dog seemed to start waving his tail a little bit harder. Embarrassed, Logan turned away his gaze.

“Roman is taking exceptionally lots of time to get ready today.” he thought grumpily.

After few more minutes of waiting Roman had finally came downstairs wrapped in his newly knitted scarf that went terribly with his fashionable coat. He shot Logan an apologising smile.

“Sorry for taking so long, darling.” he added nervously.

Logan dismissed the comment with a barely visible shake of his head. Silently agreeing with each other, they started walking down the street. Normally bursting with life town, this evening it looked like everyone hid in their homes. Maybe it was because of the weather or maybe because they didn’t want to interrupt Logan and Roman.

Soon enough they arrive at the outskirts of the city. If the town looked pretty covered with snow then the scenery here was truly fairy-tale-like.

Simply everything was beautifully decorated with big piles of snow which was almost as bright as moon hanging above. Stars were matching the snow with they way the shined - a little bit shy and a little bit mischievous but above all - welcoming. In this marvelous white carpet some wild animal (red fox (Vulpes vulpes) if Logan was not mistaken) left footprints leading to the forest. The dark colour of the trees was blending with the deep navy sky.

Roman gasped, scanning the surroundings with his big, warm eyes. His cheeks were red from the low temperature. Slowly, small smile started forming on his pink lips and that was enough for Logan to feel like he was burning. Seeing Roman like this was worth all the cold and the wind that had been pinching Logan’s cheeks for a while now. Everything was worth Roman’s happiness.

“Oh, Logan… This is so beautiful…” whispered Roman, unable to tear his gaze away from the view.

“I simply was going back home, saw how nice the town looked and thought…” Logan stopped when he felt Roman leaning to him, his hot breath ticking Logan’s ear.

“And you thought of me.” he finished softly and kissed Logan’s cheek. They stood like that, close to each other for a few minutes, simply enjoying the beauty of the moment.

“It’s really perfect, Logan.” Roman said but this time with a spark in the eyes that Logan missed.

Before his boyfriend could react in any way Roman pushed him right into the deep snow, laughing maniacally. Logan screamed in a high pitched voice at the cold and not wasting any second, he pulled Roman closer, forcing him to step into an especially big snowdrift.

“How dare you-!” gasped Roman with terror. The mischievous spark had grown into a full fire in his eyes. He quickly bend to form a little snowball and smoothy threw it at Logan, laughing.

Soon the couple started running around the snowy meadow, throwing snow at each other and laughing as if they were 5, not near their 30s. Logan’s glasses were completely covered with fog and his gloves soaking wet but he couldn’t care less. It’s been a while since he laughed so hard.

Finally the two of them collapsed at the snow, sitting next to each other. Roman was still giggling with his eyes fixed at Logan.

“That was wonderful!” he breathed out, a cloud of hot air flowing from his mouth.

Logan only nodded in response and adjusted the scarf. Something icy cold touched his hands and he realized that Roman decided to help him by wrapping the scarf tighter around the neck, with a soft look on is face. Not thinking too much Logan leaned and locked their lips in a kiss. Roman hummed happily. At the beginning of their relationship, it was hard for Logan to initiate things like that but quickly he learnt that there was nothing wrong with being affectionate from time to time. As long as no one, except of Roman, was watching.

“I love you, you know specs?” whispered Roman, breaking the kiss.

“Of course that I know. You inform me about that every morning and every evening. At least twice a day.” said Logan calmly.

“And I plan on doing this till the end of our lives…” Roman responded seriously “Speaking of which...” he started quietly, leaning back and frantically looking for something in his pockets.

That’s when Logan with the corner of his eyes, noticed something in the snow. The object was standing out in the snow being the only red thing around, except of Roman’s cheeks. Logan pushed himself and stood up, curiously approaching the object, that soon enough turned to be a small box. He inspected it carefully before grabbing it and turned around to his boyfriend again. Roman was still searching through his pockets, so instead of asking him to come closer, Logan went back to his old spot and sat next to Roman.

“Look what I found.” he said nagging Roman’s side, turning the box in his hands.

When Roman saw what Logan was holding in his hands, he let out the loudest yelp.

“This is just fantastic!” he groaned in addition and snatched the box from Logan’s hands.

“Do you by any chance know what this is, Roman?” asked Logan, clearly curious. His boyfriend had always been the dramatic type but right now he appeared very shaken.

“Of course, I know! How could have I lost it? Oh dear stars!” Roman placed a kiss on the box with a loud smooch.

“Enlighten me, please.” Logan crossed arms on his chest and frowned. “What is this, Roman?” he asked seriously.

Roman blushed furiously, glancing nervously at Logan.

“This is not how it was supposed to look, okay?” he sighed, seeing that Logan wasn’t going to move by inch until he got a satisfying explanation.

That statement confused Logan a little bit. “Oh,” he uttered, “O-okay…”

“To put it bluntly…” started Roman playing with the box but never opening it. “It’s a box with a ring.”

“A ring.” echoes Logan numbly. “What ring?”

“An engagement ring you, idiot.” groaned Roman and threw a little bit of snow at Logan in anticipation. “And I swear to god, if you ask for who is this ring, I’m gonna commit a homicide.”

Logan looked at Roman with his pale blue eyes, hidden behind glasses. He looked a little bit like a lost child and maybe under other circumstances Roman would even tease him about that.

“An engagement ring.” repeated Logan.

“Yes, for you, Logan.” explained Roman painfully slowly and just as delicately. He knew that it may take a while until Logan processes a new information. They sat for a moment in silence just staring at each other until Roman started talking again:

“Do you want me to make it clearer? Shall I stand up, only to fall on my knee in front of you? I didn’t want to make it awkward for you but… Ugh, I’m not at all romantic, am I?” the words were spilling out of his mouth faster and faster, “I am the romantic type and I can’t even plan a romantic engagement. I mean! I had the whole plan! But you offered a walk and I just couldn’t say no! To think that I would-”

“Yes.” said Logan calmly, catching Roman’s hand in the middle of a gesture.

“What?” blurted Roman.

“If you asked, I would say yes.” Logan repeated, but this time his voice was shaking a little bit and it wasn’t because of the cold.

“Even if my proposal included burning a book?” asked Roman suspiciously.

“Let’s not cover the extreme situations right now.” Logan clicked his tongue and waved his free hand. Roman chuckled heavily.

The air between them was getting freckled with white spots. It was snowing again but none of them moved.

“Oh gosh, I really do want to kiss you right now.” said Roman, gently placing a kiss on Logan’s wrist. “But first I want to ask you properly…” he took a big breath in and Logan could feel that his own breath hitched. “Logan Sanders, will you keep the ring you’ve found knowing that it’s not just a simple ring? Knowing that it’s a symbol of my love and declaration that one day I will marry you?”

Even though the answer could be only one, Logan for a moment found himself at the lost of words. He swallowed the lump in his throat and that was when Roman opened the small red box. The ring was beautiful, very simple with two tiny gems - one in the colour of blue and the other one - red. With trembling hands he took the ring out of them box and look at Roman.

“I will gladly keep that ring.” Logan said quietly, his lips spreading in a wide smile.

“Will you put it on your finger?” asked Roman biting his lips. Everything about him seemed red at this exact moment - his lips, his cheeks and even his love.

“I would be I have very wet gloves right now and I really want to…” Logan gulped, “Feel it on my finger when I put it on for the first time.”

Roman nodded and quickly got up from the ground. His face was brighter than the moon and the snow.

“Well then, let’s go home because I really do want to see that.”

Logan smiled and grabbed Roman’s hand.

“Yes, let’s go home.”

general taglist: @depressed-alone @changeling-ash @dear-lover-dearest @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @calmingthoughtsinyourhead @zo-geeky @fandomfreak-19 @thegnatnat @inha-led @tree4life25 @panic-at-theeverywhere @reallyanextrovertipromise @shit-happens-bitchachos@pastel-patton123 @pinkeasteregg @greymane902 @princeyssash @ilovemyspoopydad @musicphanpie-b @all-these-trees-stealing-mah-o2 @birosezz @winged-outlaw @anxious-fander-talian-bean @lizaelsparrow @moonstonefox12 @pastelnerd101 somecrappyclonemysticalstrawberryface @ninjago2020 donteatmyassghostie toriwithacamera moxiety–sanders101 confinesofpersonalknowledge xxladystarlightxx wheeitsvee a-very-optimistic-realistnarniasfinestavengingsociopath thequeensqueer allycat31415 rileys-main-blog-spotroman-is-a-dramatic-prince virgil-my-diamond justanotherproblem faacethefacts beautifully-terribly logical-but-anxious queen-of-all-things-snuggly seabellart @generalfandomfabulousness lostin—translation knine-nights

#logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #fluff!#lots of fluff!#last fic of 2018 #Sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #vic writes

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idkhyuck · 5 years

Text

HERE WITHOUT YOU- A TOM HOLLAND ONESHOT

Not to be confused with my “MEETING TOM HOLLAND” Series. i heard Here Without You- 3 Doors Down and listened to it for like 3 nights before falling asleep and it hit all the right feels. still getting a feel for writing for Tom so feed back is appreciated. also for the full effect listening to here without you by 3 doors down helps.

~summary~ Tom is SUPER busy and misses you like crazy. this one is a little more angsty but mostly just !sadTom !sadreader but still vv cute.

i woke up to the grey New York sky.another rainy fall day, normally you wouldn’t mind. You dreaded the commute to work. you dreaded having to come home to an empty apartment yet again. you missed being held, you swore you forgot what holding Tom felt like. the pillow you hugged at night not doing you any good anymore. it’s been at least four months since you last saw Tom. from promoting his latest whenever he could, to him constantly back and forth between Vancouver and LA working on his new project it felt like forever. you would facetime when you could. He’d made many a promise to fly home for the day only to have his plans dashed. you’d made plans to go out and see him only to have his schedule change last minute. between the two of you constantly working you’d think you were never meant to see each other again. You checked your phone and saw a few texts from tom. He was telling me all he did on set that night. it was a night shoot so he wasn’t able to call me before work. he was so sorry.

“only a few weeks darling.” he sent as a voice message. hearing his voice sent a pang of loneliness through me. I played it again and kept it. I got out of bed, the floor cold against my feet, the wind whistling through the busy streets below me. I went to the bathroom and went through my usual business. i looked at toms side of the bathroom clean and untouched for the past few months and sighed. ugh, i hate myself for feeling like this. he’s not dead, that thought only hurting my heart even more. He’ll be back, i thought to myself trying perk myself up. A few more weeks. i sighed as thoughts of something coming up, preventing him from actually coming back raced through my mind. i ended up making myself sad again. I was allowed to be sad, my feelings were valid. it’s been four months. i thought trying to convince myself a i walked into the walk in closet we shared. Four months... wow. i thought back to the last night Tom and i spent together. We were at the premiere for A spider-man movie. We shared many a kiss in that theater that night and that night at the hotel we said our goodbyes with hopes of seeing each other sooner than later. now here we are far past later. i often wondered if he felt the same way i did. was he as lonely as me, did he miss me as much as i missed him. i had no idea how insecure i really could be if left alone to my own devices for too long. a text or phone call always coming in at the right time to save me from myself. i picked a long sleeve t-shirt and one of tom’s spider-man flannels he “borrowed” from set for me.

you worked at a record store in Brooklyn, you practically owned it with all the work you did for them. Every day off you got you had to fight for and usually ended up spending them alone and upset at ruined plans. The last four months have been less than ideal and it was all taking a toll on you. you used to love working at the record shop and now it’s just another thing to pass the day. you never knew you were capable of feeling this low because of love. you’ve dealt with depressive episodes before all with completely valid reasons. you hated admitting to yourself that you felt this way because of how dependent you’d become on another person. yet that thought alone made you so happy, and hopeful. you loved tom with all your heart after struggling to let him in and let it happen. you felt a full range of emotions with him, you didn’t have to act or hide or put a facade. as much as that could scare you it was ultimately more comforting in the end.

I looked in the mirror one last time as i brushed through my hair deciding on a messy bun because this weather was doing nothing for my hair. i put on a little make up feeling less than inspired to look good today. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a banana from the bowl sitting on the counter. i’d have to go grocery shopping later tonight or tomorrow. I grabbed my raincoat and umbrella and my work bag and made my way down the hall of our apartment complex. i approached the door dreading stepping out into this rain. i took a deep breath and swung open the door and opened my umbrella. The sound of the rain hitting the top of my umbrella kind of soothing. i had one headphone with some sad music playing. The one perk i love working at the record store was getting to borrow records from what we had in stock. i loved asking customers for their recommendations on artists they bought that i’d never heard of. it was always so much fun discovering new music, i’d send it to tom. I can’t wait til he gets home, we’d dance around the house listening to music like we used to. He was always a great customer coming in once a week to buy some new music for us at home. The manager loved when he came into store, it was great publicity. Once at work i emptied my bag back onto the shelves and went to my spot behind til. i had to pick our rotation for the day. i picked one of the albums i was listening to that weekend, a new release from the week and some of our customer favourites. I truly loved working at this store. We had polls online and customers would vote on their favourites run by me. i’d tally the votes at the end of the week. i hoped one day i’d be able to own a record shop like this one day. The slow tracks came to life. a perfect start to my morning. i checked my phone, i sent a good morning message with a selfie to tom knowing he’d check it when he could. i could only imagine how tired he must be. I loved how much of himself he truly put into his work. He worked so hard and he deserves all the good opportunities that come his way. i will stand by his side as long as he’ll have me as his number one supporter.

Tom’s POV

I woke up to my alarm screaming at me. i sighed. it was all a dream once again. I missed Y/N so much it hurt to wake up in bed alone. I picked up my phone and shut off the alarm. I had a few hours before i had to be on set.

“Good morning my love.” was what i saw, i opened my phone to see her beautiful face, i see the hurt in her eyes, the fake smile not working on me these past few weeks. i know she’s sad and lonely, it hurts me to know that i’m the reason for that. she’s at work, i wish i could call her.

“morning love.” i send back. “miss you.”

“miss you too.” she send back followed quickly by “What are you up to today?”

“call time in 2 and half hours. probably go out for breakfast.” i lied, i’d be in this hotel room dreading going out. Fans figured out the cast was staying here. i was on high security to and from set. not allowed to go out much.

“That’s good!” she sent back “call me tonight?” she asked

“yes, for sure.” i replied

“i have customers.” she sent with an eyeroll emoji indicating she had to go. I turned on the clock radio needing something to drown out the too silent hotel room. i flipped through the room service menu. the words hit me like a knife in my chest.

A hundred days have made me older since the last time that i saw your pretty face A thousand lies have made me colder And I don't think I can look at this the same. All the miles that separate Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face.I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.

I dream about Y/N all the time, It’s been so long since i felt her kiss, he always cold hands, her arms wrap around me from behind when she wanted my attention. All her little quirks, our dancing around the house, The way she managed to make me feel real despite whatever was going on around us. i can’t wait to go home and not have someone watching me like a hawk, to feel my bed, my home. have someone who knows the real me. i love my job, but it’s exhausting to put on a happy face when your so tired. i’d done nothing but work for the past four months. promo tours, shoots, travelling. i haven’t even been to the UK at all this year. I sighed as i listened to the song some more. i ordered my breakfast and found myself listening to the song again and again. i did some googling and sent a text to y/n

“track 6″ and it was picture of the album. “listen to it at home off to set. love you will call tonight”

Y/N’s POV.

i was almost done my shift, I had a good morning, a few tourists had come in and loved the vibe of the store and even tipped me. i was almost completely distracted from my bad mood. my phone buzzed a text from tom. He sent me this song to listen to at home. i searched around the store knowing we had this in stock. I found it and signed it out for myself. My replacement came in as if on cue. i was now excited to head home and listen to the record. i knew of this band but never actually listened to them. i clocked out and made the rainy commute home. i was able to enjoy the sounds of the rain on my umbrella once again soothing me. i picked up a sandwich from the diner down the road from our apartment and made my way home. once inside i resisted the urge to play the song right away but instead opted to change into something comfy enough to go out grocery shopping later tonight. i cracked the window in the living room to let the soothing rain sounds in. i grabbed my late lunch and set it down on the coffee table, i put the record on the turn table and grabbed the remote. i hadn’t realized how cold i really was until i was comfy under the throw blanket tom bought my for christmas this passed year. it was now spring. the last real date i had with tom was eating at a rooftop restaurant in Manhattan just before new years after we came back from our christmas travels.

I pressed play on the remote and heart the sad guitar intro, oh lord. The words sounding pained, i could hear tom saying this and feeling the same way. By time the chorus hit, tears were streaming down my face, i couldn’t hold it in anymore. i let a soft cry out as the song played. i missed him so fucking much and i hated myself for it. He didn’t need to feel bad about leaving me behind. if he was as hurt as me, he didn’t need that added stress. the song ended, i pressed the button to play it again. I sat there listening to it. Tom was so sweet, he knew the way to my heart was through song. I hated that he felt sad about missing me. He didn’t deserve to be sad. Ugh i loved him so much. i wanted nothing more than to hold him. for him to hold me. tell each other we’d be okay. why does love have to hurt so much. i thought to myself as i played it again. i took a few deep breaths and composed myself. I picked up the phone and typed out a message to tom

“hello my love. how are you feeling? i hope works treating you good. i miss you so fucking much, but you knew that.” i sent it with a picture of the record player in the background. the song now beginning it’s fourth rotation. i listened to it once last time before spinning the rest of the album. i ate my sandwich, still feeling down but feeling better after my cry. despite the song being heart wrenching it actually brightened my spirits. i thought of the next two weeks without tom and thought it would be lonely i could only await what our reunion had in store for us. our love was special, I met tom after he rose to fame but we connected on such a real level it scared me at first. i knew he was the one for me from the start and he continued to prove that to me when i didn’t believe it.

i did a load of laundry, made a shopping list and quickly went out to the grocery store. i saw couples holding hands, men buying flowers, stealing kisses in the aisles as they pushed their cart. i knew tom would be calling me soon so i rushed home. “on my way back to the hotel. will call soon.” was a text i got in the uber sending a small jolt through me. once home i quickly put the groceries that would spoil away, my phone on the counter, ever present in my mind like a ticking time bomb only i couldn’t wait for it to go off. i was in the freezer organizing the chicken i bought when the phone rang scaring ten years off my life. tom’s face shone across the screen. my heart racing as i struggled to answer it in my excitment.

“Hello?” i said

“Hello love.” He said his voice sounding tired

“Tom.” i said sighing “hi!”

“you okay?” He asked

“yes.” i said “just running about the house putting away groceries.”

“oh i can cal-”

“NO!” i interrupted him “i was just finished.” i said making my way to the couch

“you sure your okay?” He asked

“no.” i said hoping i wouldn’t end up crying. “i actually hate you for sending me that song.” i laughed

“aww darling.” he said laughing “ did i make you cry?” he asked

“yeah.” i said as my throat got thick and tears welled up in my eyes.

“aww my love.” he said sounding so so sad and that just made me cry even more. “i didn’t mean to upset you.” he said sounding sorry

“no.” i said trying to sound normal “it didn’t upset me.” i said my voice uneven” it just made me realize how lucky i am.” i said really crying now. “i- i was doubting myself again” i admitted “ a-and i wasn’t sure how much longer i could put up with feeling like that and it was scaring me and i just love you so much and i know you do too.” i said trying not to sound like i was outright sobbing.

“Awww darling. i hate putting you through this.” he said sounding sad

“no. i hate putting you through this.” i said stopping him. “the last thing you need on your workload is worrying about me.” i said

“y/n” he said sternly “worrying about you will always be my number one priority. you’re unfortunately stuck with me and all that comes with me.” he said “the only time i’ll ever stop loving you is if you ever tell me to stop.” He said “and i hope that i never drive you to that.” he said sound defeated

“tom.” you said “don’t talk like that.” i said through my stream of tears. “i’m afraid i’ll love you for the rest of my life.” i admitted

“good.” he said “hold on.” he said then suddenly my phone was ringing with tom wanting to facetime. i answered and saw his face, his beautiful eyes tried, his lips looking as kissable as ever. his curls a mess all over his head like he’d been running his hands through them. “you look absolutely stunning.” he said i looked in my reflection i had swollen eyes and a red nose, my cheeks were damp from the tears. i couldn’t help but laugh at his comment “i mean it. two more weeks and i’ll be home to kiss those beautiful lips of yours.” he said “play the song.” he said i reached for the remote on the table and pressed play, it came on. we sat there staring at each other listening to it. “oh the dreams i’ve had of you darling.” he said. a hint of lust in his voice

“we’re not leaving this house for a week.” i said to him.

“can’t wait.” he said smirking at me. just like that, i felt okay again.i knew tom loved me, i knew he would always love me. “i’ve been shopping.” he says

“really now?” i ask

“yes, stopped off on rodeo drive one afternoon.” he said “and all i could think of was what you would like, what you would want.”

“Tom...” i scolded

“don’t worry i didn’t go crazy.” he said “i got stuff for my mom too.” he said “ harry wanted a new watch.”

“tom.” i said disapprovingly

“I have nothing better to do out here!” he said “and i miss everyone so much.”

“i’ll book us a flight later tonight.” i said

“thank you.” he said. i yawned i didn’t mean to i knew he would pick up on it. “go to bed babe.” he said

“i want to talk to you.” i said sounding sad already

“i’ll get ready for bed with you.” he said.

“fine.” i agreed. i turned off the music. “we have some groceries to put away.” i sighed as i put him on the counter behind the sink so he could see the whole kitchen.

“place looks nice and clean.” he said

“yeah, theres’ no one here to mess it up.” i said laughing as i put some boxes in the cupboard. i turned to see him make a pouy face. “kidding” i said blowing him a kiss. two more weeks and i’d be standing at the stove with tom hopefully wrapped around me. i turned to put stuff in the pantry and was bent over looking for something and i heard tom

“missed that ass.” i stood up

“i’m sure you did.” i said smirking at him through the phone. i placed the last few things

“Where to next?” he asked

“brush my teeth and change.” i said

“oooh.” he said i just rolled my eyes at him as i walked into the bedroom and through the bathroom. i grabbed my tooth brush and started

“Brush brush brush your teeth.” tom sang through the phone nearly causing me to choke on my toothpaste.i heard him giggle as i was rinsing my mouth. i gave him the finger. and took my hair down to brush it. a few more flirty remarks from tom as i was changing and i was in bed. i placed tom on his pillow and looked at him.

“good night Y/N.” he said i’ll stay right here.” he said as i was drifting off to sleep.

4 days until tom came home,we talked every day leading up to today. He was busy busting out the few last minute days of shooting and finishing up what he needed to get done. He was so happy he was almost done. I was working hard to get things ready for tom over here. I washed the sheets, i made sure to go out and buy all over our favourite things to cook together, i had a nice coming home gift for him. a hoodie, A new pair of sweats , a nice baseball cap. everything comfy he’d need for you guys trip to the UK in a week and a half. i also had a case of his favourite beer waiting. you asked his dad to send it to you. i was all ready for him so now the the last two days have been dragging on like crazy and there was four more to go. i walked into the shop my late afternoon shift starting soon. i saw my manager sitting at the til

“did he not show up again?” i asked referring to our one coworker who was always dipping on shifts last minute. but then i saw him coming out of the back room with a box of records.

“i just needed to grab a few things.” my manager said as i approached the counter “can you get me the receipt book in the back real quick i don’t want to lose my train of thought” he said eyeing me a small smile on his face.

“k” i thought. he was being so weird, maybe we finally had enough for that expansion he’s been talking about for years. i thought to myself as i walked towards his office. i saw a hooded figure standning in the room. fear rose in my chest as i gasped. the figure turned the first thing i saw was the chestnut curls and my heart nearly stopped. his face came into view his eyes lighting up at the sight of me. i ran towards him, tears sneaking up on me. i crashed into his body, his arms catching me. my heart was racing, my eyes were blurred with tears.

“oh. tom.” was all i was able to choke out. it felt absolutely amazing to feel his arms around me, i felt safe, content, ecstatic.

“happy to see me love?” he asked holding me out at arms lenght “aww don’t cry.” he said his voice soft as he wiped away the tears. “i love you.” he said pulling my back into him, taking a deep breath.

“so, you can have the rest of the week off as well as next week.” my manager said in the door way clearing his throat.

“are you sure?” i asked wiping the tears from my face, pulling my shirt down. trying to look presentable again.

“yes, you deserve it.” he said “i’ll be fine here.” he said

“don’t get too used to life without me.” i teased as i walked over and gave shook his hand.

“wouldn’t dream of it.” he said looking around his office i’d spent one afternoon organizing. “get out of here.” he said “there’s a car in the back.” i smiled at him in thanks and made my way out to the ally with tom. sure enough there was a car waiting at the end of the block. i stopped and pushed tom against the wall. i looked at his lips and he looked at mine, his eyes darting up as he pulled my face towards him. our lips met all the feelings of loneliness and hurt and sadness gone now fueled by the fire in my heart and soul. recharged as we kissed in the alley. his hands wrapped around me pulling me close to him. the kiss felt like it went on forever yet i missed him the moment i pulled away.

“let’s go home.” i said grabbing his hand and leading him towards the car.

#tom holland #tom holland one shot #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #i needed to write a happy ending #i nearly made myself cry how many god damn times

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