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vesemirsexual · 5 months

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read the entire series recently and saw your recent ask about yennefer and being abusive. question: why do people only think yennefer is bad/bitch/mean/abusive? bc reading the entire series i found that while i still liked geralt, i also didnt really think of him as a poor meow meow in the way fandom had made him seem and there were points i really didnt like him?

Putting the ask here for reference.

I have some thoughts on this that I think will be unpopular and not go down well. I'll throw them below the cut to be respectful. I think this is probably going to come across much harsher than I intend, which I just want to state: not the goal! Just more of some thoughts I have on this topic, fandom cultural, and general social-cultural trends.

Obviously, there's the argument of male vs females character, which I really do think holds merit here. There's not a lot I can say on the topic, because I think that horse has been beaten to death. I think it's safe to say that Yennefer does have traits that are better received in male characters, and rub people the wrong way otherwise.

Another minor point I want to make quickly that I mentioned in the other ask reply: a lot of the heavy criticism of Yennefer comes from her behaviour early in the story. Realistically, the characters all develop throughout the story, and are not the same people they are in the beginning that they are by the end. It's whether you look at a character as who they are at a specific place in their storyline vs across the whole development. Both Yen and Geralt develop from people who cannot sustain a relationship, cannot be together, and are forced by their experiences to grow and learn.

Now comes the part I think is going to be unpopular. I talked in the previous ask reply about both Geralt and Yennefer having terrible childhoods that left them with a myriad of trauma and baggage. The way they interact with the world as a result of this trauma is very different though - Yennefer faces her problems head on, much of the time with arrogance, steps into a role as an aggressor before she can be the victim. Geralt on the other hand, repeatedly repositions himself as a victim, often coming back to feeling negative about himself/sorry for himself, bitter and sardonic.

From this, I think two things happen:

• People identify with Geralt more. Yennefer falls into the "bad survivor trope", who's behaviour as a result of trauma minimises sympathy you might feel for her, and makes people flinching away from empathising with her further. Geralt is much easier to project, to see yourself in - it's much easier see your behaviour as someone you can imagine as a victim, than someone who is behaving as an aggressor.

• It also means it's easier to excuse when Geralt behaves badly, or in a way that isn't conducive or healthy. It's much more sympathetic and relatable in a way that isn't uncomfortable to identify with. Realistically, no one wants to identify with negative behaviour that could be cast as abusive or aggressive, let alone admit it to other people (i.e, fandom). It's much easier to identify with how Geralt responds to situations instead. I think this kind of identification also makes it a lot easier for in-group bias to form; it's an easy step to call Yennefer a bitch for her response to a situation than to critically analyse how Geralt is responding as well.

What both Yennefer and Geralt share is that they're both incredibly stubborn and difficult people. Neither of them thinks they're capable of love, and suddenly they're neck deep in it (and the wish really has nothing to do with it). Yennefer is absolutely a nightmare at times; at the same time, she's facing someone who is actively trying to convince themselves they don't have feelings or humanity, which is not pleasant or easy to face either.

Yennefer gets raked over the coals for all her flaws. Geralt is many good things, but he's also a cynic, irritable and takes the people around him for granted frequently. He's easily offended, sulks and is prone to self-pity. He can also be incredibly ignorant of other people's perspective and how they feel. He bases his morality and consequent actions on his own views and experiences. In his conversation with Nenneke, it's made pretty clear that he's as culpable for things going wrong for them as she is. After living together for a year doesn't work, he literally ditches her in Vengerberg with a note and flowers because he doesn't want to face her. Yennefer breaks up with him and Istredd after making it clear she would choose him because he won't admit he loves her, and instead retreats into his victim stance.

This is not to say that I excuse all of Yennefer's actions. She actively fucks up in many places, and seriously crosses the line (e.g. throwing jars at him). But I also don't think it's realistic to say that she is the only toxic one, or that their pre-Ciri relationship is the same beast as the post-Ciri relationship.

In many ways, Geralt and Yen are the same character. They're abused, abandoned and set on a life path they don't choose for themselves. They don't know how to love, and they don't think they deserve to be loved. They're a mirror of each other, which is how they end up in the shitty pre-Ciri cycle: infatuation, passion, sex, fight, break up, spend time apart, think about each other, miss one another, seek the other out. Ciri is the catalyst for them to leave this cycle, get their shit together and grow forward from it.

Honestly, I blame CDPR for a lot of Yennefer hate, because most of their portrayal of her sucked, and the rumor that the writers didn't like her is incredibly suspicious considering. I think a lot of the other overly harsh criticism about Yennefer comes from how we identify with characters and their struggles, and how we view the real life complexities of abuse survivors, trauma and relationships.

#this got ramble-y and there's other things i think merit talking about but anywhere here is some thoughts #katie txt #long post #meta #analysis

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luxgalador · 7 months

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There's a pride party tonight and I can't decide if I wanna go or not

I really need to make some friends irl but also I know I'll keep to myself like I always do so unless someone talks to me first I'm not gonna meet anyone...damn my brain

On another note, how did you pick an animal for your fursona? I wanna make one but I like lots of animals...too many to choose from

I say this not to diminish social anxiety or neurodivergence at all, as I experience and live with both. But you can just talk to people. A simple statement that absolutely is not as easy as it sounds, yet remains true. I think you should go. And I think you should try very hard to say something nice about someone's outfit and then introduce yourself. Don't be afraid of awkward. Awkward is everywhere and it's OKAY. I think so many of us have been taught that awkward is bad, but even if you talk to someone new, it's awkward, and goes nowhere, well hey that's still something to be proud of for you. And the best part is that no one's gonna keep score on that and you'll likely never interact with that person again. Or maybe you do and you can laugh about how awkward the first time was. Awkward is human. Social interaction is awkward and unscripted and silly. So I'd like to challenge you to go a liiiiiiiitle outside your comfort zone. And if it gets bad, hit the bricks! You can always just fuckin leave. But you're not gonna get what you want until you get out of the lonely routine. I spent my 20s there and have been challenging myself and like.... literally a year later my life is filled with friends who actually match me. And a lot of that is because I've learned to just say hi and that I think people are neat.

OKAY MORE FUN SECOND PART QUESTION

I mean tbh as soon as Socks followed me home and I spent that first year learning all about cats and their behavior (I'd never had one before), I just felt like.... a natural connection to cats. Like I saw myself in Socks and in learning about why she behaves the way she does, I genuinely learned about myself, my neurodivergence, my sensory experience, and the ways in which I show affection. I've always loved animals and creatures of all sorts but with cats it was like.... okay wow yeah that's me. So my fursona kinda built up over time in my head. Just kinda viewed myself as a cat and then it became a real, tangible design early this year! I'm actually in the process of tweaking my sona's design right now to include some fur patterns inspired by Socks since she's so special to me and showed me so much and has given me such love and companionship these last 6 years. After that I'm commissioning a fursuit maker for a cat head hehe. So for choosing, I'd recommend just keeping an open mind and seeing which creatures you relate to!

And the best part is that one don't have to pick just one. I sort of "happy accident" ended up with Sylvi as a fursuit who is now a secondary fursona for me and I'm IN LOVE with her she makes me very happy. And I always had dogs growing up so having a puppy fursona and suit is very fun too!

#word vomit #furry stuff

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atencio · 11 months

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Puppy Training Classes London

Hey, there fellow dog lover! You've landed on the right page if you're on the hunt for Puppy Training Classes in London. As a dog training expert myself, I understand how crucial those early training sessions can be for your furry friend.

You see, puppy training is more than just teaching tricks—it’s a vital element in the lifelong journey of your puppy. It's about shaping the behaviours and habits that will stick with your dog for their entire life. It is the bridge that helps build a beautiful relationship between you and your four-legged friend.

What's more, it's essential in keeping our beloved pets safe and sound. Properly trained puppies are less likely to run off and find themselves in dangerous situations. They're more likely to understand boundaries and know how to behave in a variety of settings.

But hey, not all of us have the time or the know-how to do this training ourselves. That's where London's puppy training courses step in.

Here in London, we are fortunate enough to have access to some of the world's most renowned dog training services, designed to equip your puppy with the skills they need to navigate this complex human world. We're talking about classes that build confidence, promote good manners, and improve the bond between you and your pup.

Whether you're looking for a one-to-one session for some specific behavioural concerns or want to enrol in a group class to help your puppy interact and socialise, the city's comprehensive puppy training services have got you covered.

The beauty of these professional services lies in their diverse offerings - there's a course for every dog breed, age, and temperament. From basic command training to more advanced behaviour correction courses, London's dog training scene is bursting with opportunities for your puppy to learn and grow.

The Need for Puppy Training

As a loving dog parent, you want the best for your four-legged family member. That's where early-stage canine training in London comes into the picture. Just as you would want to give your child the best start in life, the same holds for your puppy. The training your puppy receives during their early years will significantly impact their later behaviour.

Early-stage canine training isn’t just about teaching your puppy to sit or give paw (although that's a part of it); it's about setting a solid foundation of understanding and respect between you and your pet. It's about teaching them not just commands, but also good manners. Yes, manners aren't just for humans!

Puppy manners training in the city is a crucial aspect of early-stage canine training. It helps your pup understand the basics—how to behave around other dogs, how to react to strangers, and even how to conduct themselves at home. This type of training goes a long way in making sure your puppy grows into a well-behaved, sociable, and friendly dog.

Whether it's jumping on guests, chewing your shoes, or barking at every passing vehicle, all these are behaviours that can be curbed through early training. And the best part is, the younger the pup, the quicker they learn.

So, let's say you're walking your dog in one of London's beautiful parks, wouldn't it be nice to have them sit calmly while another dog passes by instead of pulling the leash and creating a scene? Or when you have guests over, wouldn't it be lovely to have your dog greet them politely rather than overwhelming them by jumping and barking?

With the right Puppy manners training, your little furball can learn all the doggy decorum they need to be a pleasant companion at home and in public places. It's not just about making your life easier; it's about ensuring your pup is well-adjusted and happy too!

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Types of Training Courses in London

Alright, you've decided to hop on the puppy training bandwagon, and it's a wise move, mate. Now, where do you start? No worries, I've got you covered. Let's explore the vast and intriguing world of dog training for puppies in the city. The sheer variety of options can leave you spoilt for choice, but hey, variety is the spice of life, right?

Firstly, let's get to know puppy behavioural courses. These aren't your regular sit-down, stand-up sessions (though there's a good bit of that, too). These are designed to help your puppy understand their own behaviour and learn appropriate reactions. For instance, chewing is a natural dog behaviour, but your furry little friend needs to know what's chewable (like their toys) and what's not (like your favourite pair of sneakers).

Behavioural courses also help with issues like separation anxiety, excessive barking, or aggression. Think of them as etiquette classes for your puppy. London has numerous such courses where experienced trainers use a combination of techniques to help your pup become the well-behaved little citizen you want them to be.

But what if your puppy has unique needs? Or you want to focus on specific behaviours? Welcome to the world of tailored puppy schooling in London. As the name suggests, these are customised training programmes that cater to your puppy's individual requirements.

Is your pup scared of the bustling London traffic? Or maybe they're not too fond of bath times? A tailored programme can focus on these areas, using positive reinforcement to help your pup overcome their fears or dislikes. It's all about understanding your puppy's temperament and moulding the training to suit them.

Such customised training programmes are ideal for puppies with specific behavioural issues or even for those who need a bit of extra attention. Rest assured, with tailored training, your puppy will be in capable hands, learning at their own pace and comfort level.

Whether you choose behavioural courses or opt for a customised programme, remember, it's all about patience, consistency, and positivity. London's puppy training classes are designed to be enjoyable, educational experiences for both you and your pup.

So, are you ready to embark on this training journey? Remember, it's not just about teaching your pup; it's about learning, too—learning to understand your puppy better, strengthening your bond with them, and ensuring they grow into a happy, healthy, and well-behaved dog. So, take the leap and dive into the rewarding world of puppy training!

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Training Sessions: What to Expect

If you've come this far, it's clear you're serious about professional puppy coaching in the city. Kudos! But you might be wondering, "What exactly am I signing up for? What can I expect from these training sessions?" Well, let's dive in and demystify the whole process.

First off, puppy instruction classes are a structured blend of practical exercises and theoretical understanding. It's not just about getting your puppy to follow commands, but also about you understanding why they behave the way they do. After all, the key to effective communication is understanding, right?

Each session generally starts with a warm-up—a fun, interactive activity that helps your puppy get used to the training environment. It's also a great time for you and your puppy to interact with other participants, fostering that much-needed socialisation.

Now, for the core of the session—the training exercises. These could range from basic commands like 'sit', 'stay', and 'heel' to more complex ones, depending on your puppy's progress. But it's not all work and no play. Trainers ensure that the sessions are enjoyable and engaging, incorporating games and rewards to keep the puppies motivated.

Let's now talk about group classes for puppy training. Picture this—a room full of puppies, each as adorable and excited as the next, all learning together. Sounds chaotic? Maybe a little. But it's controlled chaos, and it's a fantastic way for your puppy to learn social skills. Interacting with other dogs will not only help your puppy be more sociable but also better behaved around other dogs. Group classes are also an excellent opportunity for you to connect with fellow dog parents.

However, if your pup is a bit shy or gets overwhelmed easily, one-on-one puppy sessions in London might be the better option. These sessions allow the trainer to give undivided attention to your puppy, tailoring the training to their pace. It also gives you a chance to discuss any specific concerns or questions you might have. While one-on-one sessions might be a bit more expensive, the personalised attention your puppy receives could be worth it.

Lastly, every professional puppy coaching session ends with a review—a chance for you to understand your puppy's progress, areas of improvement, and next steps. It's a continuous journey of learning and growing together, strengthening the bond between you and your pup.

Remember, these training sessions are as much for you as they are for your puppy. It's all about building a stronger, happier, and more understanding relationship with your adorable little companion.

Training at Home and Outside: The Best of Both Worlds

Training your puppy is a bit like learning to play an instrument. You start in a controlled environment (your home or a music room), and once you've got the basics down, you take your skills out into the big, unpredictable world. This is where in-house puppy training services in the city and outdoor puppy training London come into play. Each setting offers unique benefits, and both are crucial parts of a holistic training approach. Let's dive deeper into these two types of training environments.

In-house Puppy Training: The Home Advantage

Imagine being a puppy in a new home. Everything is a first—the smells, the sights, even the sound of the kettle whistling. Amid all this newness, learning commands from a stranger could feel overwhelming. That's where in-house puppy training shines.

By training in a familiar environment, your pup can focus on learning new skills without the distractions of a new setting. This comfort can enhance your puppy’s ability to learn and grasp new commands more effectively.

Moreover, in-house training offers the opportunity to address specific behavioural issues that occur primarily at home. Whether it's chewing on furniture or barking at the postman, in-house training can offer targeted solutions for these challenges. As your pup gets more comfortable, they’ll also be able to apply these lessons to similar situations outside the home.

Outdoor Puppy Training: The Wide World Awaits

Now, let's step outside. Here, your puppy faces an entirely new set of challenges and stimuli—cars, squirrels, other dogs, and humans. Outdoor puppy training sessions are where your pup learns to manage these distractions while following commands.

Outdoor training also introduces your pup to various environments and situations. Parks, busy streets, or other dogs' homes, each setting offers a different learning opportunity. This training helps your puppy build confidence, socialise better, and react appropriately to diverse circumstances.

Moreover, outdoor training is excellent for physical exercise and mental stimulation. It's no secret that puppies have an abundance of energy, and what better way to use it than running around in the great outdoors while learning new skills?

To sum up, both in-house and outdoor puppy training offer unique advantages, and an effective training program will typically involve a blend of both. While home training offers a safe and familiar environment to learn new skills, outdoor training helps puppies adapt to the outside world's unpredictability. You might start training at home, but eventually, you'll want to show off your well-behaved pup at the park, right?

Through London's puppy training courses, you can ensure your puppy gets a comprehensive training experience, readying them to become a well-rounded, confident, and obedient member of your family.

Beginner's Guide to Puppy Training: Starting Right in London

Puppies are like sponges, soaking up every new experience, every word, and every behaviour. That's why it's crucial to start training your furry friend as soon as they come home with you. But if you're not sure where to begin, don't worry! That's where beginner lessons for puppies in London and basic command training for London puppies come into the picture.

In the world of puppy training, starting right is half the battle won. So, let's embark on this exciting journey together!

Beginner Lessons for Puppies in London: Getting Started

Think of beginner lessons as your puppy's first day at school. They will learn the A-B-Cs of doggy manners and important life skills. Here are a few things that beginner lessons typically cover:

Socialisation: From other dogs and humans to various environments, your pup learns to interact with the world.

Name Recognition: This is where your puppy learns to respond to their name—a critical skill for future training.

House Training: Yes, this includes the ever-important toilet training!

The goal of beginner lessons is not to rush through a checklist, but to foster a positive association with learning and obeying commands. It’s about creating a sturdy foundation upon which more complex behaviours can be built.

Basic Command Training for London Puppies: The Essential Toolkit

Once your puppy is comfortable with beginner lessons, it's time to move on to basic command training. This is your puppy's toolkit for life. Some of the most important commands your pup will learn include:

Sit: The cornerstone of all puppy training! It's simple, effective, and helps your puppy learn to focus and stay calm.

Stay: This command can literally be a lifesaver, preventing your pup from running onto a busy road or chasing after another animal.

Leave it: A great command for when your pup gets a bit too curious about something they shouldn't be chewing or eating!

These commands are about more than just obedience—they help ensure your pup’s safety in various situations. The ability to understand and follow these commands is a crucial part of being a well-behaved dog.

Now, this might seem like a lot of information to absorb—and it is! But remember, every great journey starts with a single step, or in this case, a single 'Sit'! With patience, consistency, and the right guidance from professional trainers in London, your pup will soon be on their way to becoming a well-behaved and happy dog.

Ready to take the first step? Check out these expert-led beginner lessons for puppies in London and dive into the world of basic command training today. With time, effort, and a sprinkle of puppy love, you and your furry friend will reap the rewards of early training.

Using Positive Reinforcement: The Secret Ingredient to Successful Puppy Training

In the world of dog training, positive reinforcement is like the secret ingredient in a recipe that takes it from good to great. It's a cornerstone in puppy training strategies for Londoners, turning puppy classes from a stressful chore into an exciting game. Let's explore how positive reinforcement puppy training in the city can revolutionise the way you interact with your furry friend.

The Power of Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is all about rewarding the behaviours you want to see more of. It's the equivalent of getting a gold star in school for good work. And guess what? Puppies love getting gold stars!

In a nutshell, positive reinforcement involves:

Identifying the Desired Behaviour: Whether it's sitting on command, walking calmly on a leash, or staying quiet when the doorbell rings.

Rewarding the Behaviour: This can be with a treat, a toy, or even just a hearty "Good boy!" Make sure the reward comes immediately after the behaviour, so your puppy makes the connection.

Repeating the Process: The more your puppy associates the behaviour with a positive outcome, the more likely they are to do it.

This approach creates a happy, confident dog who views training as a positive, rewarding experience. Isn't that what we all want for our furry friends?

Effective Puppy Training Strategies for Londoners

Incorporating positive reinforcement into your training routine doesn't have to be difficult. Here are a few tips to make it a part of your everyday life:

Keep Training Sessions Short: Puppies have short attention spans. Keep training sessions short and fun.

Be Consistent: Use the same commands and rewards to prevent confusion. If 'sit' earns a treat one day and nothing the next, your puppy might get confused.

Reward Good Behaviour, Ignore the Bad: Remember, the goal is to encourage the behaviours you want to see more of. Ignore the bad behaviour (as long as it's not dangerous), and it's likely to stop on its own.

Living in a city like London presents its own unique challenges and opportunities when it comes to puppy training. But whether it's teaching your pup to ignore city noises or training them to walk nicely amid the city's hustle and bustle, positive reinforcement can be your greatest ally.

Ready to add the magic ingredient of positive reinforcement to your puppy training routine? Check out these puppy training strategies for Londoners or explore positive reinforcement puppy training courses in the city. The road to a well-behaved, happy puppy might be shorter than you think!

From Good to Great: Specialised and Advanced Puppy Training in London

We've all heard the saying, "Every dog has its day." But when it comes to specialised London puppy training, we believe that every dog deserves more than just a day - they deserve a lifetime of understanding, enrichment, and behavioural wellness. This is where advanced puppy training in London comes into play. Let's delve into these tailored, specialised training approaches, setting your puppy up for a lifetime of success.

The Beauty of Specialised Puppy Training

Specialised training is all about recognising that your dog is an individual, with its own personality and quirks. London's puppy training courses take this to heart, crafting unique training plans based on your puppy's breed, age, temperament, and learning style.

Here are some areas where specialised puppy training can be particularly useful:

Separation Anxiety: A common issue among puppies, especially in a bustling city like London where pet parents are often out and about. Specialised training can help your puppy feel secure even when you're not home.

Leash Manners: Walking on a busy London street can be a sensory overload for puppies. Specialised training can teach them to walk calmly, no matter what distractions come their way.

Socialisation: Early and frequent exposure to a variety of people, animals, and environments can help your puppy grow into a confident, well-adjusted adult dog.

To get started with specialised puppy training, explore London's puppy training courses designed with your pet's individual needs in mind.

Leveling Up with Advanced Puppy Training

So your puppy has mastered the basics. Sit, stay, come – they’ve got it all down pat. Now, it's time to level up. Advanced puppy training in London is for pet parents who want to go above and beyond, enriching their puppy's life with higher-level skills and manners.

In advanced training, your puppy can learn skills like:

Obedience Competitions: Does your puppy have a knack for following commands? Obedience competitions could be a great way to put their skills to the test and have some fun.

Agility Training: This can be a great outlet for high-energy breeds, teaching them to navigate through obstacle courses with speed and precision.

Therapy Dog Training: If your pup has a calm and gentle nature, they might be a perfect fit for therapy dog training, bringing comfort to those in need.

It’s important to remember that advanced training should always build on a foundation of positive reinforcement and mutual trust between you and your puppy. Ready to take the plunge into advanced training? Check out these advanced puppy training courses in London.

Affordable Puppy Training Options: Your Guide to Quality Training on a Budget

It's an unfortunate misconception that quality puppy training has to be expensive. In reality, affordable puppy classes in London exist – you just need to know where to look. Finding affordable training that doesn’t compromise on quality is the sweet spot that every dog owner in London wants to hit. So let's uncover some top tips for finding local puppy training experts in the city without breaking the bank.

Affordable Puppy Classes in London: Quality Meets Value

As London is teeming with puppy classes, finding an affordable one that fits your budget might seem like finding a needle in a haystack. But don't fret, there are plenty of quality training classes available in London that won't empty your wallet.

First things first, look for group classes. Not only do they tend to be more affordable, but they also offer great socialisation opportunities for your pup. Just be sure that the class isn’t too big so your puppy will still get individual attention. You can check out some options for affordable group puppy classes in London.

Secondly, consider classes offered by local shelters or rescue organisations. They often provide lower-cost training options, and your money will go towards supporting a great cause.

Lastly, be on the lookout for trainers who offer package deals. Buying several sessions in bulk can often be more cost-effective than paying for individual classes.

Local Puppy Training Experts: More Bang for Your Buck

When it comes to affordable puppy training, going local is a smart move. Local puppy training experts in the city often have a passion for supporting their community, which can translate into competitive pricing and a high value-for-money ratio.

Moreover, local trainers bring with them a wealth of knowledge about the specific challenges and opportunities that London puppies and dog owners face. They can provide personalised advice on everything from the best local dog parks for socialisation to how to navigate the city's hustle and bustle with a calm and well-behaved puppy.

Wondering how to find these local experts? Try joining local dog owner forums or social media groups. They can be a treasure trove of personal recommendations and tips. You can also check out this directory of local puppy training experts in London.

In summary, affordable puppy training options in London are out there. All it takes is a bit of research and you'll find quality, value-for-money training that won't leave you counting pennies. Remember, investing in early-stage puppy training will pay off down the line, leading to a well-adjusted, obedient dog and a strong, lifelong bond between the two of you.

Wrapping Up: The Key Takeaways for Successful Puppy Training in London

As we've journeyed together through this blog post, we've covered a lot of ground about the essentials of puppy training in London. Let's circle back to the highlights and distil down our key takeaways.

Consistency is Key in Puppy Training

One of the most crucial aspects we've underlined is the role of consistent, professional training in a puppy’s development. Like us humans, dogs are creatures of habit. Consistency is the backbone of any successful training regimen. From "early-stage canine training in London" to more "advanced puppy training", a reliable routine creates a sense of security and helps your puppy understand what's expected of them.

Moreover, professional guidance from qualified dog trainers provides a structured approach to training that is difficult to achieve on your own. Whether you're enrolling in group classes, opting for one-on-one sessions, or even considering in-house training, expert guidance can make a world of difference in your puppy's progress.

Exploring Different Training Options

London's puppy training landscape is rich and diverse, offering a myriad of options to suit every puppy and owner's unique needs and circumstances. You might find "tailored puppy schooling in London" is the best fit for you, or perhaps "group classes for puppy training" provide the socialisation and affordability you need.

Consider all the options available and don't shy away from trying a few out. Different training methods and environments can often complement each other, providing a well-rounded training experience for your pup.

The Journey is Worth it

Training a puppy is no small task. It requires patience, dedication, and a good measure of love. But the rewards are immeasurable. A well-trained dog not only makes for a peaceful household but also ensures that your dog can interact well with others, both humans and dogs alike.

With puppy training classes in London, you're not only teaching your pup essential skills but also cultivating a deep, trusting relationship with your new furry friend. So, take the plunge and explore the variety of options available in London's puppy training scene. Your future, well-behaved puppy will thank you!

As a final note, remember that everyone's journey is unique, so don't compare your pup's progress with others. Every dog learns at its own pace. The important thing is to keep going, stay positive, and remember that you and your pup are in this together.

So why wait? Dive in and start exploring the various training options mentioned here today. You can check out some beginner's courses here or some more advanced training options here.

Time to Unleash Your Puppy's Potential

With all the valuable information we've covered about puppy training in London, you're now well-equipped to take your first steps (or paws!) towards an exciting training journey. So, what's next?

London is brimming with exceptional puppy training options. Whether you're searching for "group classes for puppy training", "one-on-one puppy sessions", or "in-house puppy training services", the city offers a plethora of avenues to explore.

Remember, there's no 'one-size-fits-all' in dog training. Each puppy is unique, and the training method that works for one might not be the best fit for another. Try out a few classes or trainers until you find the right match for your puppy's personality and learning style.

Don't wait for your puppy to grow up before you start training. Early training can help prevent bad habits from forming and make future training more straightforward. Check out these amazing beginner lessons today and set your puppy up for success!

Share Your Puppy Training Journey

Just as every puppy is unique, so is every puppy training journey. Your experiences can provide valuable insights to fellow puppy owners navigating their own paths. Whether it's a challenge you've overcome, a fun training game that your puppy loves, or a heartwarming moment that made all the effort worthwhile, your stories matter.

Consider sharing your puppy training experiences with others. You might just inspire someone else to embark on their puppy training journey, or better yet, offer a ray of hope to someone who's struggling with their own.

And remember, your journey doesn't stop here. Training is an ongoing process that continues throughout your dog's life. As your puppy grows and learns, so will you.

Embark on this exciting adventure today, and witness the incredible transformation that professional puppy training can bring about in your furry friend. There's no better time than now to start your puppy training journey, and I'm excited for you to unlock all the love, joy, and companionship that a well-trained pup can bring.

So, what are you waiting for? Sign up for a class, contact a trainer, or start sharing your own experiences today. Welcome to the rewarding world of puppy training!

#dog training #puppy training #dog treats #dog news #pet #dogoftheday #dog trainer #Youtube #dogs #TRAINERS IN LONDON

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fizzycherrycola · 2 years

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What are some of your favourite ships and headcanons for those ships?

Favourite ship is FrUK, so I'm just gonna answer that. 💜

Quick Disclaimer: I am not a historian. If I get something wrong, I apologise. I wasn't taught very much of French-English history in school, therefore everything I've learned is mostly research I do on my own for fun or writing purposes.

Their relationship evolved over time, through many ups and downs before it arriving at the comparatively peaceful spot it's in today. Benign curiosity through their early years as Francia and Anglia, with too much in-fighting and identity-finding in the wake of the collapse of the Roman Empire to bother with animosity. They were too young and too... vague... to be enemies then, so I imagine that their interactions were fairly calm. Toddlers don't develop mortal enemies, they just have other children they like/dislike depending on how much sleep they got last night or if Francia has an extra bite of bread to share today.

But life gets complicated. The flower crowns wilt as they form stronger identities, solid borders, kingdoms and kings untied under a single banner. And the Battle of Hastings secures them as rivals for a long, long time.

From 1000 AD to 1750ish, I admit I need to do more research on that massive stretch of history. But from my simple understanding, I'd characterize their relationship somewhere on a sliding scale of: Tolerant of Your Presence and Unyielding Distaste. Reaching a very high pinnacle of resentment during the American Revolutionary War, and culminating in the Napoleonic Wars.

From England’s perspective, France helped snatch his child away, and from France’s side, England shattered his revolutionary dreams and ambitions. They’re torn down and humbled by one another, stripped to the bone, and I wonder if maybe that was the final straw that helped them both realise this miserable cycle can’t continue. Or rather, that they actually don’t want it to continue.

So this strange quietude settles in during the 19th century, with neither one poking the other too hard beyond teasing and typical, familiar insults. And if it wasn’t for the rise of Germany, they might’ve stayed that way or returned to old habits. But the Great War comes knocking, their alliances are set in stone, and they’ve no choice but to WORK TOGETHER, in one of the shittiest, most horrid wars of their immortal lives.

If you read my fic Grey Havens, you can see where I think those trials might’ve ended. To be such titanic empires, nearly bested and crushed by a nation born not 50 years earlier; all their sprawling power making so little difference. Honestly, I think it put the fear of Final Death in them, something they’ve likely not been scared of for centuries. And people behave very differently after intense, prolonged distress. It’s very human to seek out another for comfort, one who understands their trauma exactly. So they sought each other, rationalising their actions and feelings however they could, building a delicate trust, and through the 1920s to 1950s. They. Fell. In. Love.

I am talking tender moments, sex that topples furniture, openly supporting each others’ international policies and schemes, thoughtful gift giving, and being the only person in the whole ass room that can talk them down from an extreme position. Not saying it’s a healthy relationship, but it is STRONG. And while things kinda cool down in the 1960s, and they have petty squabbles over this or that, (oh no you fished for fish in a place that you’re not supposed to) truthfully, a few potholes in the road are nothing compared to how far they’ve come.

~~~

Edit: I just realised this might not be what you were looking for, maybe you would’ve preferred cute, fluffy HCs. If that’s the case I apologise hhhhhhhhhhhhh I just always have historical FrUK on the brain. ┐(´～｀)┌

#fruk #hetalia headcanons #hws england #hws france #aph england #aph france #historical hetalia #ask box #my headcanons

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8bitida · 2 years

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Oh how I desperately want to time travel not to change the past, but to just see the dinosaurs and watch the earth change and evolve over billions of years

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

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Kid!MC/Teen!MC Needs someone to go to Parent Teacher Interviews for Them and Guess Who’s Available?

Masterlist

The brothers being bad babysitters/dad figures is something I love very much, I bet you all could already tell that considering the Fic/Headcanon series I have going on. I would just like you all to know that Asmo’s section is based on a true story. Anyhoo~ onto the Headcanons!

Why? Why Him? (Lucifer)

Is MC really dumb, or are they just a kid? No one knows.

Obviously MC asked Lucifer, the only competent one in the house, the most professional, hard-working, controlled-

MC got their things together and gave Lucifer the run down on their teacher(s) before Lucifer got too absorbed in extolling his own virtues in an intense internal monologue.

News flash Lucifer, this isn’t a Shakespeare play, you can’t have a dramatic monologue or soliloquy about how great you think you are

At the actual meeting, if MC is in there, no, MC is not actually in there. Lucifer will speak to the teacher as if MC isn’t there. As someone whose not a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down kind of person, Lucifer expects the teacher to behave the same and not spare MC’s feelings.

Feelings do not deserve to be spared if MC is being a nuisance. No fake-kid/little sibling of his gets to be the class idiot!

If MC’s doing very well academically, he expects to be pointed at projects or tests they’ve done and the grade on it. It really makes him proud to see MC doing well.

Even if they’re not the best academically, if they’re not failing and they’re doing well in other aspects of school, he’s proud.

If MC really struggles in a school environment and just hates it there but they’re still keeping their head above water, they get a head pat of approval.

On the drive home, if MC came with him to the parent teacher interviews and everything went well, he just happens to turn onto the street that has a Baskin Robin’s or something of that caliber.

If they didn’t go, he picks something up on the way back.

No fun treats if MC is being a disruptive little heathen in class, no kid under Lucifer’s care is going to be the class Mammon. Not on his watch.

MC was busily stuffed their face with the treats that were gifted to them. Lucifer had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes at the kid’s blatant disregard for basic table manners when it came to sweets.

“Is everything the teacher said true?” Lucifer asked, MC looked up at him with a smile.

“Yep!”

“Good, good.” Lucifer held out his hand and patted them on the head. “You’re doing well. Keep it up.”

“Geez,” MC mumbled as they continued to stuff their face. “Can you get anymore affectionate?”

“Don’t be sarcastic, MC. It’s uncouth.” Lucifer said sternly. “Besides, I’ll have you know that many people enjoy my headpats. I’m quite affectionate.”

“Really now? Name one person.”

Lucifer opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. He and MC stared each other down, one pair of eyes much more nervous than the other. Spoiler, MC was still calmly eating their treat as they maintained eye contact.

“…Cerberus.”

“If you’re reaching for Cerberus, you’ve already lost.”

…his pride was under attack. Right in front of his desert…

“You’re grounded.”

“Worth it.”

*Rides by on a Skateboard* School is for NERDS (Mammon)

Pff! Stupid human! He’s not goin’ to some lame parent teacher conference-

Wait! What’s with that face?! Ugh… fine. MC’s gone and forced his hand with those damn puppy dog eyes…

Mammon does not dress up for this event, he dresses like he would every day, maybe throw on some designer stuff to let all the parents and teachers know he’s hot shit.

If MC goes with him, he pulls up in his beloved car and takes up two parking spaces (pure evil.). Every parent present already hates him, but at least the other kids there are impressed with MC’s sweet ride. MC would have gained some street cred if Mammon hadn’t managed to trip up the stairs to the classroom in front of everyone.

He’ll act way to casual with the teacher, turning the parent chair backwards and sitting down so he can lean on the seat.

Mammon gets bored crazy quickly while the teacher lists and explains all the stuff the class is learning, so his eyes begin to wander to any and all displays in the classroom. Projects, annoying posters, class pet, anything is more interesting than this teacher’s explanation.

When MC finally becomes the main topic of the interview, he’s all ears. MC’s doing great in school academically? Ha! Nerd! Maybe giving MC a playful noogie and interrupting the whole interview wasn’t a good idea, but whatever.

If MC’s failing anything, or just isn’t that gifted when it comes to grades, it’s very much a “Aw man me too” from Mammon.

This teacher is speaking with the Great Mammon, the first demon in RAD’s history to fail three semesters in a row. If this teacher thinks bad grades will phase him, they’re dead wrong.

Grades don’t mean anythin’ about smarts anyway! I mean, look at him! He’s a fuckin’ genius but he can’t get through a history test without sobbing even though he LIVED THROUGH MOST OF IT.

MC gets treats no matter what’s up in class. Though, if MC didn’t go with him, he’s likely to forget and just order something for the two of them when he gets back home.

“Goddamn teachers and their rambling!” Mammon whined, grabbing a slice of pizza from the open box on his coffee table. “You owe me, MC! Ya really do!”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” MC said, they leaned over and rolled a pizza slice into a pizza-scroll then proceeded to eat it like a veggie roll. “How do you think I feel, listening to them every day? You know how long it takes to get to the actual class material?”

“Five years?”

“Ugh! Five years if I’m lucky! I swear, I know more about my teacher’s grievances with like… five of my classmates than I do about trigonometry, and guess which one’s on the test next week?”

Mammon winced in sympathy, then remembered he was supposed to be whining and went back to it. “School’s shit and a waste of money, ya should drop out as soon as you can and help me run my new business.”

“You mean your pyramid scheme?”

“It’s not a pyramid scheme, MC! It’s legit! It’s a multi-tiered marketing-”

“It’s a pyramid scheme.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOCIAL INTERACTION (Leviathan)

Everyone else must have been sick or something for MC to have asked Levi. He’d flat out refuse to go otherwise.

So, Levi couldn’t exactly go to the interview in his usual “I haven’t left my room or changed clothes in eight weeks” look. With the help of MC, he was able to find his military uniform at the back of his closet.

Asmo nearly fainted when he saw Levi in the uniform, not because “oooo, a man in uniform~”, it was because the outfit was so crumpled and wrinkled that it made it physically painful to look at. No time to iron and wash, the conference was in an hour!

Levi (and MC if they went with) rolled up to the school in a less than impressive ride, but one look at the uniform and all the other people present went “yep, time to be respectful (tm)”

For the first time in his life Levi was more intimidating than Lucifer! And he wasn’t even trying!

When the teacher starts explaining the course material, Levi spaces off in horror as he realizes he remembers literally nothing from school (AND HE’S STILL IN SCHOOL!) all that’s running through his head is “A squared + B squared = C squared” and “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell”.

The actual interview was the least interesting part of the trip, the real stuff happened when Levi passed by some art on display in the hallway and something caught his eye-

Those colours… that hair… that adorable smile..!

IT WAS HER! LEVI’S PRECIOUS RURI-CHAN IN ALL HER GLORY!

Levi immediately started fawning over the art class fanart and by sheer coincidence, one of the kids walking through the hallway happened to notice.

The kid asked MC if their… parent and or guardian liked anime. MC responded with “obviously.” Levi then asked the kid if they drew his adorable Ruri-chan. The kid said no, and that they drew the My Hero Academia fanart a few rows down.

Levi was absolutely floored that there were two anime fans in one class, then his entire world shattered when MC explained there was more anime art inside the art room and other classrooms.

H-hang on… did that mean that… a lot of people here… liked anime..?

Levi needed a while to process. No snacks on the way home…

Levi and MC were sat in the back of their Uber, Levi, the Avatar of Envy himself, was having his entire sense of reality warped. S-so much anime fanart… in a school of all places..! What did this mean for the future of anime?!

“Levi. Stop.” MC sighed. “If this were an anime, the camera angle would be doing that thing where it’s right on the bridge of your nose and dramatic music plays in the background.”

“S-so many kids in your class like a-anime huh..?” Levi stuttered, weakly trying to smile. “Must be nice..?”

“Oh, that’s just my class. The other classes and grades have their fans too.”

“Oh… really?”

“Levi,” MC stopped looking out the window and looked at the otaku that was having a full scale silent mental breakdown. “Anime isn’t even a niche interest anymore. It’s a pretty casual thing to watch now. At least a third of my class watches- Levi?”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH! ANIME! A THIRD OF THE CLASS?! ANIME… HIS PRECIOUS ANIME… WAS BECOMING A NORMIE INTEREST! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

“Levi?” MC waved their hand in front of their spaced out demon’s face. “Leviiiii? Okay he’s dead.”

The Know it All (Satan)

Ah, a smart choice, MC. Satan would be glad to help further their education. He’ll do everything in his power to make sure that the human’s brain is fed all that sweet sweet knowledge.

Satan can’t dress himself normally, MC had to coax him into a suit jacket, but he still only wore one sleeve.

MC was coming along to the interviews whether they wanted to or not, it’s important to hear what they need to improve on from the teacher themselves after all.

The two arrived pretty early, so Satan asked MC for a tour of the school. It was pretty tame until they reached the library. Satan was horrified at the state of some of the books…

Their spines lined with duct tape… pages missing and torn… someone apparently used a taco as a book mark…

The first thing Satan does when it’s time for his interview is demand the teacher take better care of the library, even though they’re not the librarian. MC tries to explain this, but Satan is too distraught to listen to reason.

He enjoyed hearing about the course material, but he made it known if MC thinks the assignments are too easy that they need to be given more challenging work. THEIR BRAIN NEEDS TO BE STIMULATED DAMN IT.

It was up to MC to either agree with Satan and nod to the teacher, or make frantic eye contact with them to try and communicate “NO DON’T PLEASE”.

Similar to (ugh) Lucifer, as long as MC is doing their best, he’s happy for them.

…but if they are in any way in the running for valedictorian he is HELPING THEM WIN.

He decided to stop at a cafe or bookstore to let MC pick out a “congrats on surviving your pitiful school” present after the interviews.

MC gleefully perused the shelves of the bookstore, there were so many books too look at…

“I’ll buy you as many books as you’d like, MC, just,” Satan shuddered slightly. “Promise me you won’t treat them like those poor library books…”

MC put their hand over their heart. “I swear on the duct taped book spines that I will never treat a book like that.”

“Good… good…” Satan breathed a sigh of relief and went back to looking at his book about cats.

“Are you… reading a Warrior Cats book..?” MC asked tentatively.

“Yes, why?”

“Satan, put that back.”

“I Will Seduce the Teacher For the Sake of Your Grades, Don’t Worry.” (Asmodeus)

Oh MC dear! He’d be delighted to go! Just let him get ready~

Asmo may not be the best choice, but he was at least going to be the best dressed person at that conference. (And MC just had to come too so all the other parents could be jealous of how well coordinated their outfits are)

He teased MC a little by saying he was going to flirt with their teacher to make sure they passed the class, but he was just kidding! …but he made sure to ask if their teacher was cute, he needed to know!

While waiting for his turn, Asmo flirts with some of the single parents, if he doesn’t see a wedding ring, they’re fair game.

Once his time slot arrived, MC realized that Asmo is one of those “my child has done and will do nothing wrong ever” types. This may have ended up working in MC’s favour if they were a class nuisance.

If MC is doing very well in sports, clubs, grades, anything, Asmo is fawning over them and gushing to the teacher about how great, smart and adorable they are.

Asmo surprisingly does not exactly flirt with the teacher, he was just teasing MC after all. But um… if MC’s teacher just happens to be cute and young, he may turn up the charm, just a little. Enough to make the teacher giggle and make MC cover their face in embarrassment.

After the interviews Asmo will probably schedule a nice day out for the two of them, shopping, a movie, mani pedis, something fun!

The real weird stuff happens in the months after the interviews… if Asmo did lightly flirt with the teacher, MC gets quite a few questions about their guardian. Questions that ask if Asmo is single in not as many words…

Oh lord, MC’s teacher developed a crush on Asmo.

Nail painting night was supposed to be a fun occasion, but MC was hopping mad and embarrassed. Asmo didn’t seem to notice as he continued to paint the little human’s nails.

“And then I told Phenex to get lost. The nerve of that little monster, right MC?” When MC didn’t reply, Asmo looked up and tilted his head. “MC?”

MC’s angry face would have been much more threatening if they weren’t just so adorable, but it was getting the message across.

“MC..?”

“Asmo.” MC’s glare deepened. “My teacher wants to know if you’re single.”

Asmo blinked a few times, before he hit his tongue to keep from laughing. “Really now~. I knew they’d be madly in love with me-”

“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIS?!”

Oh My Demon King is That a BAKE SALE?! (Beel)

Of course Beel said yes! He’d gladly go to MC’s parent teacher interview!

He even put on a nice outfit :D he ended up looking a bit like a secret serviceman guarding MC, the tiny president.

Beel stopped for McDonald’s on the way there, all the other kids were so jealous of MC when they stepped out of the car eating fries.

But a little something something caught Beel’s eye when he and MC walked into the school… was that a… bake sale?

MC quickly explained that the bake sale was fundraiser for their class trip that year and the snacks weren’t complimentary. He had to pay.

And pay Beel did. He cleared out the entire table. MC’s grade’s overnight trip was going to be decadent as hell. That was no longer a crowd funded thing, that trip was privately funded by a tall buff ginger secret service member and this tiny in comparison child.

Kids are incredibly blunt, just like Beel, so when a random kindergarten kid wandered over, looked up at Beel, and very knowingly said “you’re very tall”. Beel was like “yeah”. The kid then said “what’s it like being that tall?”

Beel’s response to this kid’s question was to pick them up and hold them for a few seconds before placing them back down. For just a few moments this kid knew what it like to be over 6’4. Of course, more kids swarmed in and asked to be picked up.

Sure it was cute, but Beel now has an army of kids ranging from kindergarteners to third graders.

Finally, the conference actually began. Beel snacked the entire time and dutifully listened to everything the teacher had to say.

After the interviews are over, he checks with MC to make sure everything the teacher said was true and that they weren’t lying. If all was well, the two made their exit.

They stopped at Wendy’s on the way home.

“I’m so full…” MC groaned, Beel held up a massive cookie.

“So I can eat this?”

“No. Gimme that.” MC took a very defeated bite out of it. “My stomach says no but my mouth says yes…”

“I don’t want you to get a stomachache, MC,” Beel said worriedly. “No more snacks.”

“It’s a little late for that. It’s past nine and I’m still eating, there’s no way I’m getting to sleep at a reasonable hour.”

“Oh…” Beel mumbled. “I may have not completely thought this through.”

“*Snore* Huh? Wha? MC’s Grades? Uh… Fuck…” (Belphie)

MC must be failing a class or something because why on earth would they pick Belphie otherwise.

They ask him to go while he’s delirious from just waking up from a nap, he sort of half nods and mumbles some gibberish before going back to sleep.

MC had to basically carry his ass to the school. Belphie drooled all over them in the waiting room, and when it was their time to go into the interview, Belphie had to be manually put into the chair and slapped awake.

He barely listens, he just sits and nods along with whatever the teacher is saying. The teacher could say MC brought an alligator to school and he’d just go “uh huh…” “mmmph… yep…” “really now?” then yawn.

The only thing that could possibly get Belphie to be interested is if MC is studying space. If they are, than boy howdy is Belphie suddenly interested in their education.

Other than that? *snore*

If MC is in fact failing or doing poorly, MC’s teacher asks to see another one of MC’s guardians at a later date. Their plan failed miserably.

MC drags Belphie out of the school and yells at him for not helping them. Belphie, still sleep delirious, tries to press the snooze button. MC does not have a snooze button.

“Belphie!” MC shouted, shaking the Avatar of Sloth awake. The House of Lamentation’s resident bastard was somehow sleeping standing up outside. “HOW COULD YOU?!”

“Eh?” Belphie half-snorted and looked around confused. “What’d I do? Where are we?”

“At my school! You said that you’d go to my parent teacher interviews!”

“…MC I don’t think I’d pass well for you.”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO AS MY GUARDIAN!”

“Sheesh,” Belphie murmured while he rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes. “You humans are so noisy.”

MC looked up at their dearest demon friend, and gave him their best glare. “I’m going to take all your fancy temperature changing pillows and switch them with normal pillows you traitorous bastard.”

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impalementation · 3 years

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spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 4

part 1: “When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

part 3: “Something effulgent”: Season five and the construction of Spike the romantic

“But I can’t fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason.”: Buffy and Spike as a blended self

Before I get into seasons six and seven, it’s worth asking: why would the show do all of this? Why would it spend all of this time developing a supporting villain and joke id character? Why would it give him a romantic arc? I see people say that the writers only gave Spike these storylines because he was popular or they wanted to keep him around, but even that being the case, there was no need to give him the specific arc that they did. It’s more than possible to read meaning into the story that they chose from the array of possible options.

Here is the thing about the id. It’s not actually something separate from you. It’s not a ravenous monster you can blame your weaknesses on while remaining pure and dignified. The id is part of you. The immediate and enduring appeal of Spike is, I suspect, strongly influenced by the fact that the things the id wants are so very human and sympathetic. His foibles and mistakes are often painfully familiar, even exaggerated through vampirism as they are. In fact, it’s precisely because Spike is allowed to show a full range of reactions to love, because the writing is under less pressure for him to do the “right” or dignified thing, that he can at times be compelling in ways other characters can’t. If Spike just did nasty things, his appeal wouldn’t be much more complicated than the appeal of Angelus, who people tend to like as a villain or storyline rather than as a relatable character. But Spike doesn’t want to dismember nuns or construct elaborate murder tableaux. He wants familiar things like love, identity and meaning, even if the ways he goes about getting them can reflect people’s worst impulses.

Which brings us to Buffy, and Buffy’s story about growing up. Buffy is Buffy’s show, which means that every writing choice tends to revolve around her arc in one way or another. And this goes for Spike’s storyline even more than most. In the final three seasons of the show, the writing finally engages with how inextricable the id--and all of its impulsive, inarticulate romantic desires--really is from a person’s self. So instead of keeping Spike at a comfortable distance, both Buffy and the writing begin to take him seriously. They begin to invite him in.

Starting in season five, it’s telling how frequently Buffy herself projects on Spike, rather than just the writing setting them up as mirrors. She tells him that he’s the “only one strong enough” to protect her family, and later assigns Dawn specifically to his protection. In “Spiral” she describes him as “the only one besides me that has any chance of protecting Dawn.” This is a very intimate role that she otherwise only assigns to herself (and which is not really based on pure practicality, considering that she’ll later describe Willow as her “big gun”--yet never gives Willow the task of protecting Dawn). She tells him that he cannot love, which is the thing she fears most about herself. Her protests that Spike is a vampire, and thus cannot express or want human things like love, mirror her lamentations that as the Slayer, she cannot have a normal life.

From the Gilliland Gothic double essay:

More than any of her other lovers, Buffy and Spike overlap one another so often that at times their character arcs become nearly indistinguishable. With Angel, Buffy traveled a parallel path in attempting to master self-control. With Riley, her journey ultimately took her in the opposite direction. With Spike, Buffy’s journey is most closely shadowed, in that her interactions with him in many ways can be seen as metaphors for her feelings about herself.

So now Spike is multiple things. On the one hand, he’s the soulless id he’s been since season two. His vampiric behavior represents a morally uninhibited way of reacting to romantic frustrations, among other things. But on the other hand, his vampirism now also marks him as like Buffy, not merely her opposite.* Nor is he only her mirror in the realm of romantic love. The part of him that is a vampire is the part of him that is supernatural (ie, Romantically larger-than-life), that sets him apart from regular people, and dictates how he can and cannot behave. Just like Buffy’s slayerness. His vampirism is what makes him capable of protecting Dawn, while also making him (supposedly, according to Buffy) incapable of human feeling--again, just like Buffy’s slayerness. Instead of Buffy’s Slayer side being aligned with Angelus, who was an unmitigated evil, it becomes aligned with Spike, who is something more complicated.

*(Though it must be noted that this was a process that began in season four, with the show aligning Spike with the Scoobies by making him a victim of the Initiative. Spike being supernatural suddenly marks him as non-normative, just like the Scoobies, in contrast to the institutional conformity that the Initiative represents. The evolution towards treating the Romantic supernatural as something positive and associated with identity plays a key role in transitioning the show to the more complicated attitudes of the last three seasons.)

This shift in the show’s attitudes towards the id affects how Spike is used. In “Blood Ties” for example, Spike assists Dawn in breaking into the Magic Shop and in “Forever” he helps Dawn resurrect her and Buffy’s mother. In both cases, Spike could be read as embodying impulsive behavior that Buffy is supposed to be better than. Yet both cases specifically involve Spike helping Dawn, who is repeatedly portrayed as Buffy’s human side. As Buffy says in “The Gift”: “[Dawn]’s more than [my sister]. She’s me. The monks made her out of me. [...] Dawn is a part of me. The only part that I--”. In other words, Buffy’s id becomes closely tied to her humanity, even going so far as to become its safeguard. “Blood Ties” ends with Buffy affirming her connection to Dawn, which Spike’s rule-breaking directly enabled, and “Forever” ends with Buffy acknowledging how desperately she wants her mother back too, and becoming closer to Dawn as a result. (Compare to “Lovers Walk”, where Buffy acknowledging her id results in her breaking away from Angel, not drawing closer to anyone). Or in “Intervention”, Spike building the Buffybot directly parallels Buffy’s own anxieties about what she thinks she should be. She thinks she’s losing her ability to love, and that effusive fakery is her only recourse (as she said in “I Was Made to Love You”: “Maybe I could change. [...] I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes. I mean men like that right? The joke laughing at?”), a fear that even has some merit, given that her friends cannot tell her and the bot apart. Instead of Buffy and Spike having separate arcs in the episode, Spike learning the difference between real and fake dovetails with Buffy’s own relationship to her realness and fakeness. It turns out that neither of them want a bot version of Buffy. They want real emotion, things like sacrifice and heartfelt gratitude. If even Buffy’s id would let itself be killed for Dawn, then maybe she has nothing to fear from herself. Maybe there is some beauty in the emotional part of her nature that she thinks she must repress.

In other words, part of the writing (and Buffy) fully engaging with romanticism and the id, means engaging with the ways they can be bad and good. There’s this weird thing that happens with Spike as soon as he falls in love with Buffy, where suddenly his actions are more uncomfortable, and to many, off-putting, because their object is Buffy (instead of another vampire like Harmony or Drusilla, who either enjoy the same vampiric things he does, or the audience might be inclined to see as a moral nonentity regardless). His comic id quality becomes somewhat darker and more serious, almost like the way Angel’s early season two darkness becomes more serious after he loses his soul. But at the same time, Spike’s actions are also more intriguing, sympathetic, and even noble...because their object is Buffy. It makes no sense that a soulless vampire should not only fall in love with the Slayer, but genuinely attempt to transform himself into someone worthy of her love. And yet that’s exactly what Buffy inspires him to do. By loving Buffy Spike’s dual nature, and the dual nature of his romanticism, is thrown into relief: it’s something that can be selfish and creepy, yes, but also something that hints at the idea that real romanticism does exist. Something worth feeling romantically about does exist. Thus the writing can at once criticize, say, the way the chivalric mindset conflates love and suffering, while also suggesting that there are kinds of love it’s worth being transformed by. (Meanwhile, Spike’s fumbling bewilderment over how to love Buffy, and what the rules of loving people correctly even are, creates a human middle ground between monstrousness and heroism). By leaning into the way that Buffy and Spike have been used as mirrors for three seasons, and introducing the mythology-bending idea of Spike being in love with Buffy, the writing is able to fully engage with this complicated, contradictory nature of love and romance.

All of which is to say. Spike becomes a potential love interest, and is given a convoluted inner conflict between monstrousness, humanity and heroism, in precisely the season in which Buffy begins to reckon with her own inner conflict between her darker impulses, her human reality, and her supernatural role. It’s no coincidence that season five opens with Dracula, an icon of romantic vampire mythology, tempting Buffy with darkness and promising her insight into her nature. Or that a vampire kidnaps Dawn--again, her human half--in the next episode. Or that the season’s antagonist is a super-strong blonde woman who wants to destroy Dawn instead of protect her. Or that she says goodbye to Riley, the boyfriend who embodied her hopes for a more normative way of being (notice how Riley is progressively destabilized by everything non-normative about Buffy’s life, and provokes those anxieties Buffy expresses in “I Was Made to Love You”). Over and over in season five, Buffy fears that her Slayer half is cold, destructive, and otherwise dangerous. That these Romantic things like gods and vampires have it in for Buffy’s vulnerable humanity. Yet Buffy’s vampire id simultaneously gives lie to these fears by proving itself capable of heroism and genuine human feeling.

In other words, Spike becomes a potential love interest in a season that treats the Romantic--ie the grand and mythical--as something more than just an attractive lie to be disabused of. Rather, the question that season five seems to posit to me, and which will not be fully answered until the end of season seven, is this: once you do clear away the attractive lies, once you accept the hard realities, once you’ve seen the darkest underbellies, what are the things that are left that are truly grand and beautiful? What are the stories that are really worth telling, and the heroes that are really worth having?

And the show asks and answers these questions on both a very personal level, and a more meta, systemic level. On the personal level, Buffy and Spike are forced to confront their illusions not just about the world, but about themselves. They are made to ask themselves what constitutes a heroic role or a demonic weakness, versus basic, unromantic humanity. And on the meta level, the show asks questions about our expectations for how both love stories and chosen hero stories are supposed to go.

part 5: “Everything used to be so clear”: Season six and the agony of the real

#romanticism series #gen #s5 #buffy #spike #riley #btvs

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sasodei-is-real · 3 years

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Know what annoys me the most about the naruto fandom? Sakura Haters. Sakura is one of the most realistic characters. She is a wonderful character with a developing conflict. She is loving, caring, strong and progressing both in terms of inner peace and strength. Even from the very first episodes, she develops. I have so many things to say, but I don't have time right now. Someday I will analyze Sakura.

She is a strong persona, with her good and bad accounts. She is a realistic character with a conflict familiar to us all. The fandom ignores hard, but vadny and sacrificial decisions on her part, calling it stupid egoism.

She goes through metomorphosis and self-awareness. And with the help of this, she becomes an integral personality. She is sensitive and emotional, but some call the manifestation of humanity - weakness.

Her loyalty and devotion are "she runs after the boy." And when, with all her strong feelings, she accepts a deadly complex decision with it's reasons (to kill Sasuke) that turns her into a more complex and multi-faceted person, people ignore this and call it stupid, I don’t take the whole and the whole point of the decision.

Her attempt to become a whole and separately confident and independent person, people call the act of a bad friend. They call it "She fell out with her best friend over a boy", not realizing that Sasuke had nothing to do with it. She wanted to become Ino's equal. Not to be a girl who was protected by a friend by giving a red bandage and holding it under her wing, but a flower blossoming thanks to her.

And this is evidenced by the symbolic scene with a red armband.

Everyone is shouting about the comic "Ino Pig", while everyone ignores the moments of joy for the success of their friend. Sakura blossomed. And instead of the red bandage - which Ino gave her to stop being ashamed of herself, her friend returns the ninja bandage to her, as an equal and formed person.

And do not forget that for Ino herself, Sasuke was only a pretext for getting in terms with Sakura. She was even annoyed with Sasuke. Because he made Sakura feel insecure.

(Ino is generally a very deep character and we need to talk about her separately)

Her relationship with Sasuke is called abusive and stupid chasing a boy. Like "She's an addicted fool. Sasuke treats her like that and she runs after him." You need to understand the difference between an abusive attitude and a psychological state. We are all humans. And we are all unpredictable. With close contact, especially when not the best things happen to us, we can hurt each other. This is not an abuse. This is a difficult psychological condition in which a person behaves aggressively and can hurt others. You may not notice it, but we are all like that. And of course, no one has the right to hurt you. So you can turn around and walk away. Or, take the blow and stay close to loved ones. Sakura and Naruto chose the second option. Sasuke is the most broken character. All his life, he ignored his own desires for a ghostly goal. And having reached it, he learned the truth and was empty. Sasuke from an early age threw his character into the far corner, and after the truth about Itachi, only broken fragments of his personality remained. Then, until the very battle with Naruto, Sasuke ignored his feelings and desires for the sake of a goal. First for revenge, and then in an attempt to preserve their partial integrity in the desire to create a world according to the ideal and understanding of the older brother. During the battle with Naruto, he cries. He understands that he is not obliged to kill those dear to him.

Sakura and Naruto took the hit. Sometimes to her own detriment, but Sakura decided to stay close to her loved one despite his condition. And the first thing Sasuke did after realizing and accepting everything was to apologize to Sakura.

Human relations are a complex and multifaceted thing, like ourselves. And to judge them by the one-sided words "abuse" when it is inappropriate is ridiculous and stupid.

Many call her cruel because of Naruto's beating. They call her a terrible person because of the stupid statement of a ten-year-old girl "he has no parents." But everyone forgets that from that moment on, her attitude towards Naruto began to develop.

Here's the introduction. You are over thirty years old. You are now a conscious person who has gone through a lot and already understands others and your feelings. And you are being judged by a silly statement when you were ten.

She realized how it is to be lonely, because the loved one is gone.

She realized how it is, to feel like a weak link and worthless. She started to work hard and one of her main motivators was Naruto. She realized how hard it was for a friend and this was the impetus for a request for training with Tsunade. She began to accept rejection and a desire to become stronger. For Naruto's sake, she made difficult decisions and lied. I agree, she's not the deepest person from this point of view, but she lied in the hope of protecting Naruto. She became attached to him. At one point, Naruto became the sunshine feeding sakura. And now, after Sasuke's attempt to kill her, she does not scream about her feelings. She screams about Naruto's feelings. "He always believed in you!"

They call her arrogant, forgetting that she has always struggled with insecurity.

Her thoughts were "I always act around Naruto like I know everything, but ...". I think this is familiar to all of us. Have you ever been like pretending to be know-it-all because you feel like you're not good enough? Same. Sakura accepted this and decided to fight.

Even as she became more mature, she felt insecure and grateful to Ino and Chioji for offering to participate with them in the Chuunin exam.

She felt terrible as she couldn't do much for Naruto.

She is a very symbolic character. Moreover, both from the point of view of subjective (egoistic) reality, and from the point of view of symbolism. She is sandwiched between Sasuke and Naruto. She is forced to be close to strong people, demigods and try not to be a burden. She is like a third superfluous trapped in someone else's conflict. But thanks to her care and feelings, from the third superfluous she became a symbolic balance between the two polarities. She is like The middle and balance of what is happening. A loving and reliable person. Home for both.

This is a difficult role. Painful. To love both and watch their suffering

(Someday we'll better reveal her symbolic role in interacting with Naruto and Sasuke)

I won't even talk about her strength development. Those who say Sakura is useless ate blind ignorants

And we have not even talked yet about her main conflict. About the manifestation of self-identity, to which led her , her care for friends. About her willpower. About hard work.

Sakura is the most realistic character. She was middling. Just a human. Who realized her role. Bravely accepted her weakness in order to be able to become strong. Everyone can see it in themselves. In different aspects. Sakura is a very symbolic character.

In a word.

I love her. You can treat her whatever you like. But the character hating, while you don't even understand what it is about ... you better keep quiet. It looks pathetic.

Now I have a lot to do. But I am writing this post at night because it has accumulated.

When I have time, after all the promised analyzes, and also sasodei topic, I will take apart the Sakura character. She is wonderful.

Love her🌸💙

P.S. I have a lot to do now (*^*) Sasori and Deidara are in my heart 🐥❤🦂 And many work on my hand too sooo.... eehh😅😅😂😂

I hope you are doing well🦋

Love you💙💜💗

#naruto #naruto shippuden #sakura #sakura haruno #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #sasusaku #narusaku #inosaku #ino #ino yamanaka #sasori #deidara #akatuski

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the-modernmary · 3 years

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my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (ch. 8)

Chapter summary: When Aaron gets stuck at work late and Jess has to go help out her dad, Aaron has nobody else to turn to but you to watch Jack. The only problem? Up until now, Aaron has been keeping his home life completely separate from you, and you have no clue how this will effect your already precarious relationship with Aaron.

Warnings: N/A

A/N: This was not part of the original plan at all for this story, but I couldn’t get it out of my head.

masterlist || read on ao3

In between What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine Love is so confusing, there's no peace of mind If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good You teasing like you do - Blondie, “Heart of Glass”

~~~~~~~

You were on your couch doing homework when you got the call from Aaron, and you frowned in confusion when you saw his name flash across your cell phone screen. Aaron never called you while he was working, and you especially didn’t expect a call from him today. He was doing a custodial interview with an inmate sentenced to death somewhere in Virginia, and you figured prison didn’t have the greatest cell service.

“Hey there, jailbird,” you greeted. “Are you inviting me to the dance?”

“Very cute, Elvis,” Aaron joked, but it was half hearted. You could hear the exhaustion in his voice. “I need to ask you for a favor, and I want you to know that I wouldn’t be asking you if I had any other options.”

“Mhm, I love being the last choice,” you mused sarcastically. “You really know how to make a girl feel special, Aaron.”

Aaron elected to ignore your last comment. “The prison just went on lockdown, so I’m going to be stuck here for at least a few more hours,” he explained, and there was an unnatural nervousness to his voice. “And Jessica has to go deal with an emergency with her father.”

You frowned to yourself, unsure of where Aaron was going with his explanation, and even more unsure of who this Jessica person was. A pang of jealousy shot through you, but you quickly bottled that feeling.

Aaron took a moment to compose himself before continuing. “Would you be willing to watch Jack for a few hours? I know it’s not ideal, but it would just be for a little while until either I get out of here or somebody else from the BAU gets off of work. I would even be willing to compensate you for your time.”

Oh.

OH.

Silence crackled through the phone as you took in his request, and you could practically feel Aaron’s nervousness. It shouldn’t have been as big of a deal as it was. It had been two months since you’ve been with Aaron, you slept over at his house enough, and you worked in the same building as him. It was pretty inevitable that of course you were going to meet Jack at some point, but you always figured it would be with Aaron there to mediate. You had pictured that it would probably be accidental, maybe Jack would wake up early and would catch you sneaking out of Aaron’s house. Or you would be invited to one of Rossi’s famous dinners and the kids would be there and then there would be no questions asked. You definitely didn’t expect to babysit.

“Yeah, of course, I can watch him,” you said finally, and you heard Aaron let out a sigh of relief. “And you don’t have to pay me… or worry about finding a replacement. He can hang out with me for as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” Aaron told you, still sounding completely drained. “I will send your address to Jessica, and she will drop Jack off at your place in about half an hour. I really owe you, Y/N. I have to go talk to the warden now, but please call me if you need anything, okay? Bye.” Before you could even answer, Aaron hung up.

You took a deep breath as dread settled in the pit of your stomach. How hard would babysitting be, really? You’ve babysat before - Aly had a little brother who basically became your little brother. However, a weird part of you was nervous that Jack wouldn’t like you, which was ridiculous. It didn’t matter whether or not Jack liked you.

Right?

Deciding that you couldn’t just sit there and panic, you chose to use the time to tidy up your apartment, just to make it extra presentable. The organized mess that was your homework space was quickly arranged so that all of your notebooks and papers were in a neat pile. You took down the half empty tequila bottle from forever ago that was sitting on the top of your fridge and shoved it into a cabinet somewhere. The throw blanket that you had been wrapped up in was refolded and placed on the arm of your couch. You wanted to at least give the illusion that you were prepared to babysit Aaron’s son, and not completely freaking out inside.

Right on schedule, knocking came from your door, and you rushed to open it. You were greeted by a blonde woman, probably a few years younger than Aaron, who you assumed to be Jessica. Next to her was the elusive Jack, with his blonde hair and missing front tooth. You had seen a few photos of Jack in passing, hanging up around Aaron’s house and whatnot, but you never got a good look at the photos.

“Y/N?” Jessica asked cautiously, and you nodded slowly. “Hi, I’m Jessica, Jack’s aunt.”

Jack’s aunt. A million emotions hit you at once. Oh god, she was Haley’s sister. Your stomach started to feel queasy, and it took you a second to realize that it was guilt, although you weren’t quite sure what you felt guilty about.

Logically, you knew Aaron had a life outside of you. Hell, you had slowly become part of that outside life now that you were friends with his coworkers, but you really tried to avoid thinking about Aaron’s home life. When he wasn’t with you, it was out of sight, out of mind. He was his own individual entity.

Now you were face-to-face with just how insignificant you were in the grand scheme of Aaron’s life. The fact was that you were probably no more than a side storyline in his life, a character created just for Aaron’s own development. He had a life and a family that you barely knew about. There was evidence of his home life everywhere - the bins of toys at his house, drawings on his fridge, family photos in matching frames in the hallway, even a small jewelry box on his dresser that looked like it had been collecting dust for a few years - but you had gotten good at averting your eyes.

“Hi, yes, that’s me,” you replied, shaking Jessica’s hand. Then you bent down so you were closer to Jack’s height. “Hey dude, I’m Y/N,” you introduced, giving him a small wave.

Jessica took the backpack she was carrying and helped Jack slip it onto his shoulders. “Thank you again for doing this on such short notice. Aaron should have sent over my phone number if you need anything, but Jack’s a good kid. He just has some homework that he needs to get done,” she explained.

“It’s no problem,” you told her, giving her your best reassuring smile. “He’s in good hands here.”

Jessica smiled gratefully at you before kneeling down to say goodbye to Jack. You stood in the doorway awkwardly as you watched the interaction curiously. It was as normal as it could get, Jessica telling Jack to behave and that she loves him, but it also fascinated you, like you were watching a movie and all of the characters had popped out of the screen.

Jack gave his aunt a hug before she left, and the two of you stepped into your apartment. That same nervousness came back in full force. What kind of games did he like to play? You didn’t have any toys for him. What if you couldn’t help him with his homework? Do kids his age learn fractions yet, because you did not remember fractions. What if-

“Woah!” came Jack’s voice, breaking you out of your spiraling. “Can I please sit on the bean bag chair?”

Well, Jack certainly wasn’t nervous, which offered you more relief than you thought it would. “Yeah, of course, you can. It’s my favorite place to do my homework.”

Jack flopped onto the bean bag chair, his tiny frame almost completely consumed by it. You could see the confusion growing on Jack’s face. “You have to do homework?” Jack asked.

“Yup,” you told him. “And I know you do, too, so we can do homework together.”

Jack jutted out his bottom lip in a pout. “Will I have to still do homework when I’m old?”

At that, you let out a genuine laugh, even if you were a little shocked. The kid had personality, you had to admit. “I’m not that old,” you halfheartedly protested, “And maybe. It depends on what you want to be when you grow up.”

“I want to be a superhero,” Jack said matter-of-factly. “Like Spiderman.”

You nodded, the movement playfully exaggerated. “Oh, well Spiderman is really smart. I’m sure he does a lot of homework, so you better get to work. Let me know if you need any help, okay?” You chuckled again at Jack’s increased pout, obviously disappointed in the fact that even superheroes had to focus on school.

Jack reached into his backpack and pulled out a pencil and a brightly colored folder with papers sticking out of it every which way. He started on his worksheets, his eyebrows scrunched in concentration, and it hit you just how much he looked like Aaron. The blonde hair threw you off, but you had seen that exact look on Aaron’s face many times, eyebrows together and lips pursed ever so slightly. Like father, like son. You had to resist the urge to audibly coo at the sight. You were only human, after all.

You tore your eyes away from the boy and glanced over at your laptop, which was sitting open on your coffee table, the cursor blinking back at you teasingly, reminding you that you also had to get to work. You had essays to write and practice contracts to draft up. The two of you did your work in comfortable silence for a while, Jack occasionally asking you to help him read the instructions of his worksheet.

“Done!” Jack exclaimed proudly after a while, holding his packet of papers high in the air.

Just in time, too, because if you had to do any more criminal tax litigation work, you were going to pull out your hair from boredom. There was only so much corporate fraud you could read about in one sitting.

“With all of your homework?” you clarified, and he nodded so fast that he looked like a full-on bobblehead. “Good job, dude!”

“Did you finish your homework so that we can play?” he asked you.

“Yup, I’m all done,” you lied. Your paper wasn’t due for another week, anyway. “So what do you want to play?”

Jack tapped his finger on his chin as he thought about it. You were aware that you didn’t have much in the way of kid’s toys, but you had stuff to color or paint or play board games, and you were confident enough in your imagination to come up with a game if it came down to that. Jack looked around and suddenly his eyes got wide and he pointed to your Switch.

“Do you have Mario Kart?” he asked hopefully. “Can we play that?”

“That sounds like fun, let’s do that,” you told him, making your way to set up the console. “I’ll even let you be player one.”

Jack was practically bouncing up and down in his seat now. “I’m really good at this game. I can even beat my uncle Dave!”

You laughed as the two of you picked your characters. Jack chose Yoshi, a solid choice, and you went with Toad. “You can beat your Uncle Dave? Wow, that’s impressive. I have to warn you, though, I’m also very good at this game. Do you think you can beat me?” you teased.

“Definitely,” Jack challenged, and the game began.

The two of you played for a little while, and Jack’s mind was blown when you told him about the shortcuts on each track. After about three cups and you telling him where every shortcut you knew was, the 7-year-old was starting to get antsy just sitting, so you decided to switch gears.

You brought out some leftover paints and canvases you had from a paint night with your friends, and you and Jack laid on the floor and did some painting, although you were not prepared for how messy it would get. Somehow, Jack ended up with his fingertips covered in blue paint, and you had a streak of green on your cheek from where you mindlessly brushed hair from out of your face. As you placed the artwork to the side to dry, Jack had already decided on the next game - the floor is lava.

Before you even realized it, three hours had passed and it was time to make dinner. Jack chose pizza, which you luckily already had in your freezer. The game was still going, but you and Jack agreed that the kitchen was the only safe place without lava, considering there were too many dangerous things in that vicinity.

Babysitting Jack was easier than you expected, and much more fun. Even in his more playful moments, Aaron was always a little bit guarded and on edge, so you had a hard time imagining what his child would be like. A weird part of you almost imagined a mini adult in a child-sized suit and a briefcase full of fruit snacks and crackers, as ridiculous as it sounded. But Jack was just like any other 7-year-old - goofy, a little loud, and excited about the world.

You wondered if Aaron was like that as a kid, or if that part of Jack’s personality came from his mom. Maybe Jack was a mini version of his mom. Now that you had gotten the tiniest taste of Aaron’s home life, you found yourself craving to know more, to see Aaron in dad-mode.

Selfishly, you also wanted Aaron to watch you interact with Jack, just to see his reaction. It was a gamble and you realized it. Best case scenario, Aaron would be able to breathe a little bit easier. There wouldn’t be that half second of awkward silence between the two of you every time he mentioned Jack’s name. That stupid guilt you felt so often would dissipate because, hey, you met Jack and now that was out of the way.

On the other hand, everything could come crashing down. Aaron could walk in, see you with Jack, and immediately regret his decision and regret you. It would solidify in both of your minds that you were no more than somebody he could call and fuck when he felt himself on the verge of breaking down. Any self-imposed importance you had placed on yourself in Aaron’s life, no matter how small it was (and it was pretty small), would be a lie. He had a shorter temper now than before, and maybe this would be the exact thing that would set him off.

You didn’t want that, of course, but you really did want to know what would happen, to see where you stood with him. Call it morbid curiosity.

You were pulling the pizza out of the oven when you heard the knock on the door. “Coming!” you called.

“Don’t touch the lava!” Jack reminded you from his spot on the coffee table, just as you were about to leave the kitchen. Your method of movement to and from the kitchen was the rolling chair from your desk and a broom so that you could push yourself where you needed to go, which you had to justify to Jack as being a lava boat.

You “rowed” yourself over the door and looked in the peephole. Aaron was on the other side, nervously rubbing his thumb over the rest of his fingers. It took some work, but you were able to open the door without falling off the chair.

“Hey, I know you,” you greeted Aaron, but your smile fell when you took in his appearance. His whole body was tensed up, like a rubberband about to snap. He didn’t have his tie or blazer on, and the cuffs of his shirt were undone.

“Dad!” Jack shouted, waving excitedly.

“Hi, buddy.” Aaron smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was scanning the room, studying the scene in front of him. Aaron’s expression slowly shifted to confusion as Jack bounded across your furniture to get closer to his dad. “Jack, what are you doing on the table?” Aaron’s eyes shifted to where you were, noticing for the first time that you were kneeling on a rolling chair, holding onto the broom like a trident. “And why do you two have paint on you?”

“The floor is lava,” you explained nonchalantly.

“And you’re going to get burned!” Jack pointed out.

You chuckled and swiveled your chair so that you could get a better look at Jack. “How about we give your dad a minute to find a spot, okay dude?” You turned back to Aaron, lowering your voice. “The kitchen is a safe zone, if you don’t want to have to crawl around on furniture.”

Aaron frowned, and you could see the wheels turning in his brain. “No, I should take Jack home anyways,” he finally said. “You’ve helped enough today and I don’t want to impose.”

“You’re not imposing,” you insisted. “Besides, we just made a pizza that I’m not going to be able to eat by myself. Come in, have dinner. You look like you need it.”

He really did. You were certain that he hadn’t eaten anything the entire time he was at the jail. He looked exhausted, too, and it was taking every bit of his energy to keep his usual stoic and stony composure.

Aaron wanted to argue, but instead, let out a resigned sigh. “Thank you. You, uh, said that the kitchen was a safe zone?”

“Mhm, and you might want to hurry because Jack is in it to win. Already tried to sabotage my chair boat.”

While Aaron’s face remained emotionless, his gaze softened as he stepped into your apartment. “Jack, did you have fun with Y/N?” he asked, making his way to the kitchen.

Jack hopped from the coffee table to the couch and onto a trail of pillows he had made. “Yeah! She taught me how to cheat in Mario Kart!”

You rolled your way back to the kitchen, chuckling sheepishly. “Shortcuts aren’t cheating, it’s playing smart,” you defended.

Jack just giggled and continued to animatedly tell Aaron about his day at school as you each started to dig into dinner. Well, Jack and you dug into the pizza, while Aaron took all off two bites and pushed his plate to the side. You had originally thought that it was the interview that caused Aaron’s tenseness, but you realized with a start that Aaron was completely focused on you. He was watching you curiously, like you had subtly changed your appearance and he couldn’t quite put his finger on what was different.

He was just intrigued by your interaction with Jack as you had been with Jack and Jessica’s interactions. You had thought that he was going to make a snap judgment and decide if he was ever going to want to see you again the second he saw you with Jack, but he was taking his time. He was profiling you.

“Hey Jack,” you interjected once he finished eating. “Your dad and I are going to do dishes, but I need you to do me a big favor. I can’t win Bowser’s Castle no matter how hard I try. Do you think you could do that race for me while we clean up?”

Aaron looked at you in confusion, but you kept your eyes on Jack, who was all too happy to have an excuse to get out of cleaning and go back to playing video games. He practically bounced back into the living room, leaving you and Aaron alone.

“Do you want something to drink?” you offered. Aaron was watching your every movement, studying you carefully. “I have tea, coffee… Irish coffee, if it’s that kind of night.” You added the last part as an afterthought, only partially joking.

The corner of Aaron’s mouth twitched upwards so subtly that if you weren’t looking for it, you wouldn’t have even noticed. “No thank you,” he answered formally.

You mindlessly traced circles on the tabletop with your finger, keeping your eyes downcast. You knew you couldn’t just outright ask what was on his mind, he’d never answer truthfully. “Do I want to know what that creep did to be put on death row?” you asked, keeping your voice as indifferent as possible..

Aaron shook his head. “I wouldn’t tell you even if you did,” he admitted and the two of you fell into silence again. It was the answer you had pretty much come to expect from him.

Despite the fact that, as a lawyer, you’d have to hear about all these awful things and see the evidence, Aaron tried to shield you from his work. He didn’t talk about cases, didn’t glamorize the work he did the way some younger agents would. In all the time you’ve known him, you could count the number of criminals you knew he took down on your fingers, and some of those were only because you learned about them in class.

That was fine. You didn’t want Aaron to have to bring that to your bed, not when you were supposed to be his distraction from all that mess. And what a fun distraction you were.

Aaron looked at his watch, effectively ending the conversation. “We should go, it’s getting late. Thank you for watching Jack. And for dinner.”

You paused, debating your next move. “It’s no problem,” you said sincerely. “And if you need anything else from me… I’ll be awake for a while.” You let your offer hang in the air for a few moments, watching as Aaron seemed to be weighing options in his head, you just didn’t know what those options were.

You were just about to rescind your offer when he opened his mouth to speak. “Are you sure you don’t want any compensation?”

You waved off his offer. “I’m positive.”

Aaron shoved his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “Then let me buy you dinner sometime this week. It’s the least I can do.”

You paused, trying to keep your expression as neutral as possible. Aaron had never made an offer like this before, never took steps towards anything that could push this into something even remotely considered a relationship. It was easy to explain the constant sex. You could even justify the lingering morning-afters or the nights spent hunched over your textbooks while Aaron wordlessly refilled your coffee cup without you having to even ask by claiming that it all happened organically. It’s not like the two of you planned to stay up and debate the lost history of the term “beyond a reasonable doubt”. It just sort of happened, and who were you to turn down free coffee?

Anything more would complicate the carefully curated system, and neither of you had the time or energy for complicated.

Despite every logical bone in your body screaming at you to walk away and leave while you were ahead, you couldn’t help the soft “Yeah, I’d really like that,” that slipped past your lips.

You could have sworn Aaron smiled at your answer, but he didn’t say anything more.

The two of you walked back to your living room in silence. “Alright buddy,” Aaron called, ruffling Jack’s hair. “It’s time for us to head home. Say thank you to Y/N.”

Jack pouted as he exited the game. “Can Y/N watch me again soon? Please? It was fun!”

“We’ll have to see, she might be busy,” Aaron mused, looking at you so that he could gauge your reaction. It was enough of an answer to not crush Jack’s hopes, but vague enough that it gave you room to deny the offer. He was letting you choose how much you wanted to be around Jack, if you wanted to be around him at all.

You grinned down at Jack and held out your hand for a high five, which he took as an invitation to try and slap your hand as hard as he could. How could you say no to him? “Of course I can watch you again. I’ll even have Legos next time.”

For the first time that night, Aaron gave you a real smile, one that you could actually see. It was small, but it was genuine. “Thank you again. Goodnight, Y/N,” he told you and Jack echoed the sentiment, waving at you as they walked out the door.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #jack hotchner #my writing #my best habit

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talkfantasytome · 3 years

Note

During the monthly court meeting E/lain had this kind of behavior, at this meeting Nesta or Lucien were not present to justify this kind of behavior (which are behaviors that are pointed out that she has with both, Nesta in ACOSF and Lucien every time they meet).

“I’d have E/lain try her hand before we approach him, though.” E/lain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie’s garden. Cassian didn’t exactly know why he suspected this wasn’t true. There had been some tightness in E/lain’s face as she’d said it. Normally when she made such excuses, Lucien was around, but the male remained in the human lands with Jurian and Vassa.”

Do you have any thoughts or theories about this?

Because many people point out she behaves like this around Lucien but she has also behaved like this with other people.

From the pov of the other characters we also see them pointing out things about her personality or how much she tries to belong to NC and has her ignoring Rhys as well.

Any thoughts? I like to read about your point of view

Hi! And thank you so much! I appreciate your interest in my point of view. <3

This ended up longer than I thought it would - as these always do. Not super crazy, but still. The last paragraph is also a bit of a TL;DR.

E\ain's Lie

This is a super interesting paragraph, not going to lie.

I believe some people have interpreted the tightness and escaping to be because Azriel was at the meeting. However, I don't really believe that. If she has a crush on Azriel, why would she escape with some excuse? Why wouldn't she stay around? He's apparently incredibly pretty, so just staying would mean getting to look at that masterpiece a bit more. 👀

However, the more important tell to let us know this isn't the case is this:

Normally when she made such excuses, Lucien was around...

Azriel is around a lot more than Lucien. If E\ain was doing this because of Azriel, I feel like they'd see this happen more when Lucien isn't around.

It's also important to note that Cassian observes a tightness in E\ain's face "as she'd said [she had to be up early to garden]". He didn't observe it throughout the dinner, no, solely as she made her excuses. It's why Cassian thinks she was lying, making an excuse to leave.

However, if she was struggling because someone else was around, it would have been a noticeable change in her personality throughout all of dinner. Az is around more than Lucien, but we also know he's not around that much, because he's trying to stay away from E\ain. So it wouldn't be an "well, Az is around a lot, so it's just not noticeable that she's stressed around him too". Just as, when Lucien is around, we do see that E\ain is a bit more withdrawn.

So, I don't believe it was Az that caused E\ain to make an excuse to leave. It could have been, but personally I find that less likely, or she'd have been doing it more often. Regardless of whether it's because she likes Azriel or because she views him as a threat on her own plans, I don't think that's the reason.

It could be just that she's less comfortable around the group without Feyre.

I find this one an unlikely possibility, but it is possible. Despite what E\ain says, she really is not part of the court, and she's definitely not part of the Inner Circle - no more than Nesta. In fact, by the end of ACOSF, you could argue Nesta is more part of it. But Feyre is the only true IC member of the Archerons.

But, either way, I don't see E\ain as being friends with any of the IC members. Not even Az. They may have some sexual chemistry there, but they're not friends. They never talk and they don't really know each other at all. So it could just be that simple.

But, unlikely if this is meant to be foreshadowing.

She also could just be tired and making some excuse to sound less lame - we've all done it, don't lie. XD

Again, though, I find this unlikely. I don't think her face would be super tight in doing this, because we know E\ain can lie. Or, at least, use words and smiles to her own advantage.

Rhys's brows lifted. "You'd think they'd been told plague had befallen the house."

I pulled the door open wide enough to let them in, then quickly shut it against the bitter cold. "My sister E\ain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles."

It's not exactly the same, but this is one of the first things we really learn about E\ain beyond "pretty and likes flowers", her ability to convince others to do anything. To use her wits and wiles to get her way, and it's pretty obvious that's something she's used to in her life. It may not specifically state that she can lie, but she was convincing the staff to leave the house so that Fae could come into it. And we know she definitely wasn't telling them that was the reason why.

She can lie, she can stretch the truth, to do and get what she wants. With ease.

So, the fact that her face is tight tells me this isn't an easy lie for her. This isn't a bland excuse.

More so than that, why not just say she's tired? Why not use that as the reason? That's an easier lie. But no, it was something that would include an explanation for her being out early in the morning.

My conclusion: she did have something happening the next morning, but it wasn't gardening for an elder faerie.

Now, I could be wrong. Cassian's assumption was that E\ain was just lying to leave the dinner. She was making an excuse to go up to bed. You can see that because he drew a parallel to when E\ain makes excuses around Lucien, which we can assume actually is to just get out of the room where he is.

And maybe he's right. Perhaps that observation was meant to be foreshadowing about some other form of discomfort E\ain has around someone in the IC. But, based on my reasons above, and how that would happen more often, I find it unlikely.

Thus, the lie must be about something other than her just making an excuse to get away. And she uses it to also explain away why she won't be in the house the next morning.

Think about it - she made the excuse in front of Rhys and Feyre too...maybe. Maybe not. I read it as E\ain and Feyre went up together at the same time. Either way, at least one of the people she currently lives in this house with heard the excuse, so they'd expect her to not be home early the next morning. Why do that if all she was doing was making an excuse to get away from someone? The next morning she may have to answer questions about that, which I don't think she would want to do.

Now, I honestly have no idea what she was doing instead. After the bonus Az POV chapter, we know she wasn't having a secret rendezvous with him. Based on that chapter, it sounds like the two have had minimal interactions other than at dinners and things at the River House. But that's just what isn't happening.

Some wonder/hope that she's having secret meetings with Lucien. As amazing as that would be, that her "discomfort" around him is, maybe, more just lying to everyone else and pretending they aren't spending time together. I don't think that's the case. We're told Lucien is remaining in the human lands, that he looks at E\ain with longing, and that E\ain didn't even thank Lucien for his Solstice gift to her.

For someone who has a defining trait of being "sweet", that's kind of a big thing to not do when getting a gift. Like, even if she's pretending to not really care about him or know him, not thanking him is...kinda awful.

So, it would mean she's meeting with someone else. With whom? I honestly don't know.

I am intrigued by the concepts and theories about E\ain seeking out a way to try and become human again. I find it plausible, and that there was some information in ACOFAS to make it sound like she was trying to do this only makes it more so. Also, E\ain is definitely more stubborn than I think we've seen, but she's stubborn in a selfish way. Remember that she was doted on by Nesta, but also at times by Feyre, and her father. I, personally, believe that she is likely the most spoiled in nature. In fact, I wrote a post about how I'm wondering if E\ain is somewhat narcissistic.

With that, I don't think E\ain would have been deterred by Amren's comments. All I think that would have done would have made E\ain try to be more secretive and subtle in this pursuit.

I am also intrigued by the thoughts that, in doing this, she ends up siding with/helping Koschei, essentially turning into a villain. Of course, if this does happen, I think it would be revealed very end of book 5 or very beginning of book 6, and in that reveal she would plummet to rock bottom and then her book would be about her journey out of that.

And I do love the idea of a possible semi-villain E\ain because, in the end, her current development has been "she's pretty, and good, and sweet, and kind"...so, she can't be further developed and be made more "good". If her development is just her continuing to be good, that doesn't actually give us more of her character. As we learn about E\ain more, I am convinced we will learn about sides of her that aren't so "good".

E\ain & the Night Court

Okay, I'll be much faster on this, because I've talked about it before as well.

My perspective is that those vignettes, comments, narrations, etc. from other characters' POVs are all very important. I do believe this is some foreshadowing happening that tells us E\ain will not end up in the Night Court. And, I believe, her initial leaving of the Night Court may not be a particularly pleasant separation. I'm not saying it'll be absolutely awful, but maybe it's E\ain leaving on her own, or following someone she shouldn't follow due to promises of a better life, or something similar.

The other possibility is that it will be part of E\ain's emotional journey, to understand that she's not living in a place that's right for her, and that it's OKAY. It's okay if the Night Court isn't the right place for her, even if it is for her sisters. It's okay if she needs something else, if she'll find value somewhere else. It's okay to be different. I think that will be a huge thing for E\ain to learn and accept.

But, yes, I do agree with the perspectives that say those passages are telling us that E\ain doesn't belong in the Night Court. Not because she's not good enough, just because it's not where she shines. And you can find a deeper analysis on that in this post, in the "Home is Where You Shine" section.

I will say, though, that I don't think she'll end up doing anything crazy in an attempt to prove she's part of the Night Court. She's defensive about it, for sure. But if there's a big goal we're going to see her try to work toward, and maybe do so in a not so great way, I'd say it's more likely something about trying to be human again. When with the NC people she wants to be included, because she's selfish and self-centered and narcissistic - and I don't mean that as an insult, those are just some of her personality traits, and they're not necessarily a bad thing. However, I would say that's more likely why she wants to feel like she's a part of the NC. Because her sisters have both started to truly become a part of it, and she's never been the outsider. She's never been the third wheel. It was always her and Nesta. Now it's her and Feyre. But if Nesta is so much a part of the Night Court, if her two sisters will be working together on things - well, that leaves E\ain on the outside, and she can't handle it. Not because she wants to work with them. Not because she actually wants to be part of the Night Court. But because that's just not how it goes in her mind.

And I truly hope that in her journey she'll come to understand herself better, and understand that it's okay to be different. E\ain will find her place, with people who love her, care for her, adore her FOR HER. They don't simply dote on her and protect her because they think she's weak or fragile. No, she will find those who will see the wonder in her. Who will appreciate her stubbornness and ability to convince anyone to do anything. And who will only ever want the best for her because they love her. I look forward to meeting them.

And, hey, if it happens to be Jurian and Vassa and Lucien, I can see it. E\ain could use some snarky Vassa and Jurian in her life. XD

Summary

So, there you have it. That's my perspective on this. I do think E\ain was likely lying. I think the lie went beyond her just trying to get out of the room, and more so was a lie about the why or what she had going on the next day. And I do think she may have had some meeting she didn't want anyone knowing about. I know it wasn't with Az, I don't think it was with Lucien, but I don't know who else it could have been. I like the idea that it has to do with her trying to become human again, which fits in with my thoughts on what her emotional journey will be like in her book, and I'm intrigued at the thought that it could lead to her working with Koschei. But I'm not yet convinced that's definitely the case. I'll have to try to read it again, but so far I'm not sure there's been enough foreshadowing to prove that. The best thing would be her interest in helping find the Dread Trove, except I don't believe she actually was interested in that. I think in that discussion she was just more interested in proving Nesta wrong, because she never actually did anything to try and find the Trove. So, it would be cool, but we need more info before I can say I definitely think that will happen.

And yes, I do agree E\ain likely doesn't belong in the Night Court, based on all those internal thoughts we've seen. It's very telling when you have three characters observe how black does literally nothing for E\ain, how it drains her.

#ask box #acotar theory #acotar thoughts #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #elain and lucien #elucien #villain elain #acotar

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shadowfromthestarlight · 2 years

Text

my long post about my old cat copied from my wordpress:

One year ago, I lost a cat I adored. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever been through. But I also learned how to pull myself out of the depths of my grief and welcome joy into my life. Although Autumn’s death was painful, and I didn’t get nearly as much time with her as I would have liked, my experience with her was a blessing and I still believe that taking her home with me is the best decision I have ever made.

(feel free to skip the next four paragraphs if you don’t want to read the whole backstory)

I always suspected that I was a cat person, even though my family never had cats when I was growing up, and we never had good luck with pets in general. Seeing a cat always made me happy. The few times I’d interacted with cats, I’d thought they were sweet and adorable. At the end of 2019, when I was starting a new job and moving into a new apartment, my mom asked me if I was going to get a cat. I realized that there was no point in waiting any longer, and I started seriously looking into getting a cat. I visited animal shelters to learn more about the adoption process and to expose myself to cats for long enough to make sure I wasn’t allergic. I was a bit discouraged by how many steps there were to “applying” to adopt a pet from a shelter or rescue organization, though I still intended to try. But then, after I mentioned to my training group at work that I was looking for a cat, someone told me about a social media post she’d seen from a person trying to adopt out a cat. I contacted her and met the cat a few days later.

I was surprised by how well-behaved and friendly the cat, then called Chanel, was when I first met her. Though determined to get a cat, I was worried about coming home to find that fragile objects had been swept off the desk or the curtains had been torn down while I was out. But I watched this cat jump onto furniture without knocking things over and step daintily around a vase. She also approached me and sat on my lap that same night. This was surprising, because she was found living on the streets, in pretty awful physical condition, before being taken to a shelter and subsequently adopted (nobody knows when or where she was born or what happened during the first few years of her life). I figured I was unlikely to find a better cat, so I came back for her two days later, December 3, 2019. I loved watching Autumn, which I’d decided to call her because of her cinnamon-colored fur, explore her new home. She was very curious and apt to get herself into trouble. She stepped in the toilet her first night. She also jumped up on the kitchen counter next to the stove. That was the one place I’d decided was off limits. I put her down and sternly said “No” twice the first night. I was afraid she’d resent me for that, as well as taking her away from her previous owner. But the next morning I woke up to her sitting on the floor in my bedroom, and, with prompting, she jumped up onto the bed and cuddled with me.

I definitely have fond memories of our early days together. She was smart and endlessly entertaining. She caught on quickly to how to get attention. Just a couple of days after I got her, I looked up from where I was sitting to see her perched on the kitchen counter, staring at me. When I moved to get up, she jumped down right away. When she met my then-boyfriend and my family members, I learned how much she loved humans. She was the type of animal who would climb right on top of you within an hour of meeting you. She loved to drink out of people’s cups of water and to eat people food. Before I started feeding her exclusively at night, she would nudge my face to get me up in the morning. There were a few times when she woke me as early as 4AM, though now I look back on all of those times with amusement. Sometimes she would even take my hand in her front paws and put my hand in her mouth. Since she could be a handful in the mornings, I would look forward to going to work to get a break from her, but find myself missing her a few hours later. I was getting a sense of what it was like to have a kid.

Autumn was a very clingy cat, but that’s one of the reasons why our bond became very strong and I began to love her as much as I loved any human in my life. When I started working remotely, she constantly wanted to hang out with me, either by sitting on the desk or on my lap. Around the same time, she got into a routine of coming to my bedroom whenever I turned out the light, climbing on top of me, and sleeping on me the entire night. I began to like it. I found her weight comforting, and I loved waking up to her face. About the only command she ever answered was “kisses kisses,” where she would respond by turning up her nose to bump mine. I have one memory of her resting her paw on top of my hand, inspiring me to call her my “pawtner.” For a couple of months, she stayed in my family’s house on Long Island, a big house where a little critter like her could easily lose track of people. She was constantly looking for us and meowing until she found somebody. She could be a brat; she loved to jump where she knew she wasn’t allowed and swipe my food right off my plate. And she wasn’t afraid to hiss or scratch if she got mad, though that was only a few times, like when she went to the vet or had her nails trimmed. She had a wild side, but was also so loving and so different from the stereotype of a cat.

Losing Autumn

Her decline happened the way many human deaths do: “slowly, and then all at once.” I still can’t think about it much. Let’s just say, now I know I will never assume that I can fix my pets’ problems myself or that I should just give them time and they will get better. I didn’t really believe she could be terminal until the day she died, March 29, 2021. She always seemed to have so much energy. Even on her last day, she fought me when I forced her into her carrier. I let her be euthanized when I found out that she was on the brink of death anyway, and that even if I gave everything I could t to save her, she might not make it, and if she did, she would probably only survive a few more months. I was present when she died. The closure of seeing that she was “really gone” was probably a good thing, but it was horrible to see her in her last moments. She didn’t even look like the same animal I knew and loved. When the vet asked if I wanted a moment with the body, I said no, “I can’t look at this.” For a while, I had one last picture of her right before she died, but I later deleted it. All pictures of her in the last month of her life are hard to look at – she’s scrawny and her fur looks matted in some places – and I don’t want to remember her that way.

The next few days, I felt worse than I’d ever felt in my life. I thought more seriously about jumping off a bridge than I ever had before. I would randomly start thinking about Autumn’s death and sobbing in the middle of the day. This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I have a pillow with an image of her face, which some relatives had gotten for me as a gift, and I would hug the pillow and cry. I had a confusing, overwhelming mix of thoughts and feelings, most of which I knew deep down were irrational but couldn’t rid myself of. I should have brought her to the vet and had her euthanized a few days before to end her suffering sooner. I should have known she was dying and killed her myself by strangling her or smothering her with a blanket. I should have brought her home to die naturally in my arms. I should have had her tested months earlier, simply as a matter of course, and maybe I could have bought her more time. I shouldn’t have tried to force her to perk up and be normal during her last three days when she went into her final decline. I felt bad that she hadn’t gotten the chance to meet more people and show them how great cats were. I also just plain missed her. I missed her sleeping on me. I missed finding her curled up on my bed. I missed her soft cinnamon fur. I missed her curiosity and little antics. I wished she would come back and annoy me again. I even found myself wanting a new cat immediately.

I consider myself quite lucky; up to the age of 28, I had suffered very few serious losses. Unlike too many of my contemporaries, I have never lost an immediate family member or a close friend, nor have I ever lost a loved one in a way that was sudden or unexpected. Mourning Autumn was a new experience to me. I realized how physically painful grief could be. The depth of my anguish shocked me at first. I usually have a difficult time expressing myself through crying, and now I couldn’t stop. I tried telling myself to move on. She was just an animal, right? And I’d only had her for about 16 months. But that didn’t work for me, and I now realize there was no point in telling myself to just snap out of it; I really loved her. The truth is, very little I said to myself was helpful during that time. Support from others was what helped. On the day Autumn died, her previous owner also came to say goodbye and was there to comfort me, and later my dad met me for dinner. I’m still quite glad I wasn’t alone that day, and had a distraction from some very dark and unpleasant thoughts. The outpouring of kindness from family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers over the next week or so amazed me. Even the pamphlets on how to handle the loss of a pet, which I received with her ashes and pawprint a week after she died, were helpful. I realized how common my experience was: a lot of people deeply mourn their pets, a lot of people feel foolish for mourning, a lot of people experience guilt and regret, and a lot of people, in the immediate aftermath of the death, find that their memories of the pet’s life are hazy or blur together and they fear not being able to remember their pet (good news, that’s normal and the clear, specific memories do come back). I even got a note from Autumn’s former local vet telling me she was sorry for the loss of my “family member.” I felt like I had permission to grieve.

The best thing was finding out how much of an impact she’d had on others in the short time I’d known her. My uncle called me to tell me that my cat was so cool, she had changed his outlook on cats. My mom said the same thing. She’d grown up being told that cats were evil, but she loved Autumn. Several other family members adored her. Her former owner, who’d only given her up at the insistence of a roommate, ended up getting a kitten, and her mother, who hadn’t liked cats before meeting Autumn, also later adopted a cat. She certainly got me sold on being a cat lady for life. Her brief existence mattered.

Recovering Joy

Over the next three or so months, I continued to miss Autumn. Not having her around was a shadow over every day. I was already in a pretty dark place. I hated the job I had at the time, remote work in general, and the state of the world as a whole wasn’t so great, either. To be honest, I have very few happy memories from late 2020 through early 2021. Losing Autumn made my misery a whole lot worse. I didn’t have her to make working from home (or, as others have rightly put it, “living at work”) less horrible, or to provide a much-needed distraction. I sometimes found myself momentarily forgetting she was dead and expecting her to greet me at the door. I was still haunted by regret; I didn’t even feel sorry for myself because I felt that it was my fault she had died, and therefore my fault that I was sad, to begin with. It took a couple of months before I could even look at pictures of cats without being sad. I would have a stretch of days here and there when I thought I was getting over her, only to have a rush of grief all over again.

I moved to Westchester in mid-May, something I’d been wanting to do for a long time, and though I was glad I’d done it, it didn’t bring as much satisfaction as I’d hoped it would, at least not right away. I still missed Autumn and longed for a cat (and I still wanted a new job, but that’s another story). I missed her even when I felt happy. At one point I found myself thinking, I’m having a great night, I just wish I had a cat to share it with! About three months after she died, I put the word out there that I was looking for another cat. Two people told me about older cats looking for new homes. I had a bad experience with the first one I saw! The poor cat was not in the mood to play, and was not friendly to strangers anyway. She even physically attacked my hand a few times. Though I felt sorry for the family that was trying to give her a good home, I was very concerned about her being a liability, and I didn’t want to take the chance that she would never come around to me. The encounter also made me miss Autumn even more. I had a hard time falling asleep that night, and even started bawling in the middle of the night, thinking about Autumn. I finally admitted to myself that I really felt like I had lost a person I’d cared about. I was afraid to say it because I didn’t want to offend people, but it made some sense to me: I had shared hundreds of days with Autumn. I had spent countless hours with her sitting just a few feet away, and countless nights with her either sleeping next to me or right on top of me. She had been a family member, and she couldn’t be replaced.

I met the second cat not long after, on July 15th, a beautiful midsummer night that I still remember fondly. I’d told my mom I was going to meet the cat. My mom cautioned me not to rush into things, but I knew that I would probably say yes to Cookie if her behavior seemed okay. I needed a new cat. I knew nothing else would enable me to move on from losing Autumn. Her owner had died suddenly in June, and that person’s family members couldn’t take her in due to various circumstances, such as allergies or already having their own pets who were incompatible. Cookie was a bit shy at first. She’d had a sheltered life. But she perked up with some treats, and even rubbed against me to get me to pet her and did her characteristic “flop” on the floor. She was very cute. I decided I would be back for her in two weeks. I left feeling glorious. I had just lined up a new job that I was excited about, I was getting to know my new town and starting to love it, and now I was probably getting another cat! Everything was going to be okay.

The next week was a whirlwind of emotion. I could barely sleep for joy. I would wake up early in the morning and go walking because I had so much energy. I felt more happiness than I’d ever felt in my life, so much I wondered if one could actually die of happiness. Anticipating Cookie’s arrival was a huge part of that. Of course, when I did bring her home, there was a period of adjustment. It took a couple of days for her to come out of my closet and sit next to me on the couch, and several more weeks for her to sit on my lap. I sometimes still missed Autumn, too. At the same time, Cookie was a good girl, and I was glad I’d chosen her.

Then, in late October, I went away for a few days. I boarded Cookie because she is a terrible traveler (whenever she goes into her carrier, she screams the entire time, and she throws up every time she’s in a car). When I came home, I found that I had really missed her. It took going away and coming home again to realize that we’d built a strong bond. We cuddled and did “kisses kisses” all the time, and she slept right next to me. I started to tell people that I was in love, because that’s exactly what it felt like. In complete contrast to the background sadness I’d experienced a few months earlier, I now had background happiness. For over a month, I was happy every single day, without fail. I found joy in so many little things in life; taking a walk, watching a movie, looking at the sky, talking to another person. I could enjoy the present moment without constantly worrying about the next. One overcast night I walked home from the station thinking that I didn’t mind what the weather was like, I could be happy anyway. I don’t think I could have achieved that level of happiness without Cookie. I had a lot of days when I thought, Geez, Kel, aren’t you glad you didn’t give up on everything on March 30, 2021? And I am glad, indeed.

Though I love Cookie, I haven’t tried to use her to forget about Autumn. I honor Autumn by surrounding myself with photos of her, and I often try to invoke memories of her to keep them vivid. There are certainly still times when I miss her. Once, in late December, when there weren’t many people in my workplace, I went into an empty conference room and cried over Autumn. As I approached the anniversary of her death, I still felt a few pangs of regret and wondered what things might have been like if she was still around. But I found I could manage these thoughts and feelings a lot better than I could have a year before. I requested March 29th off months in advance, but when it came I didn’t mope about Autumn all that much. I actually had a good day, including a peaceful nature walk where I got to watch a lot of birds. And today, one year after I’d experienced one of the lowest points in my life, was… fine! I barely thought about Autumn, except when writing this.

Lessons Learned

Looking back, I can definitively say I learned a lot of valuable lessons about grief and loss and how to approach similar scenarios in the future. I’ve also learned firsthand that even when bad things happen, they don’t have to make you unhappy forever. Humans are remarkably resilient. Our joys and our sorrows can coexist.

The biggest lessons I’ll take with me, and the most important pieces of advice I’d give to others who have experienced a loss:

Don’t try to suppress your grief. Acknowledge the loss and don’t try to pretend it didn’t happen, or that it wasn’t so bad. Like how denying your anger can just make it simmer beneath the surface and come bursting out with a vengeance later, minimizing your grief will only prolong it. It is better that you just give yourself permission to be sad.

On a similar note, don’t fall into the trap of thinking your grief is stupid. We’re often inclined to tell ourselves that we’re being silly, ungrateful, or selfish by mourning. This is stupid. I knew the death was coming. This is stupid. That person was really old. This is stupid. It was just an animal. This is stupid. Worse things happen in this world every day. But it’s never stupid to love someone, or something, and be upset about losing them.

Let others support you. Don’t be afraid to express your negative emotions. You might find that what you’re experiencing is very common. It’s comforting to find that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do. And you might be surprised by how many people are willing to listen and be there for you in your time of need. It can also be useful to know when your grief has reached a point that is not normal, so that you can get professional help if it becomes necessary.

Remember the good. Keep pictures around. Talk about the deceased. If you focus on keeping the happy memories vivid, eventually they will crowd out the painful memories of the death, and thinking about your loved one will become easier and easier. You might even be grateful for the memories, despite the sadness you later experienced. I had always scoffed at the quote by Alfred, Lord Tennyson that says: It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. But after knowing, loving, and losing Autumn, I found that it was true. I have no regrets about welcoming her into my life, because I know she’ll have an impact on me for decades to come.

#cat #grief

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sondepoch · 4 years

Text

Hogwarts, Basically (Solomon x Reader)

When you finally leave RAD, the last thing you expect is to be whisked off by Solomon to a human school of magic. What you expect even less is for the white-haired mage to become your dormmate, and to be forced into a life of spells, potions, and wizardry. But what you expect the least is to find yourself pining after the sorcerer, reduced to something akin to a lost puppy, staring at him in longing at every chance you get. Or, correction: What you expect the least is for Solomon to feel the same way.

~Oneshot

MASTERLIST

At the very beginning, Lucifer warned you: stay away from Solomon. Never trust the shady sorcerer. Keep your distance at all costs, and do not interact.

But you never listened.

No, you were convinced that you knew better.��That the white-haired mage had good inside him, that he wasn't a demon in human skin with an agenda more suspicious than Diavolo's own. For an entire year, you believed in him, and the two of you stayed by each other's side the whole time you were in the Devildom.

You have so many good memories with him.

The two of you pulled pranks on Asmo. Downloaded TikTok onto Lucifer's phone. Ran a scam where you auctioned your souls off on D-Bay and kept the Grimm. You egged the student council hall on April Fool's day, and you even shared your food with the guy.

So many good memories.

So many tainted memories.

If you had known where it would land you, you never would have allowed yourself to get close to him.

"I fucking hate you," You grumble, darting forward and flopping onto your bed the second Solomon opens the door, groaning as you burrow your head in your pillow. It reeks of magic, much like everything else in this godforsaken place, and you're entirely sick of it, but you're too exhausted to even care right now. "I can't believe you fucking did this to me."

"Oh please, you're acting like this is the end of the world." The mage closes the door, and you hear the sound of shuffling as he puts his books away for the day, taking off his school jacket. His actions are innocent enough, but you're certain he finds amusement in your state, and the very thought fills your lungs with even more resentment toward your current situation.

"It is the end of the world," You grumble in protest. "I'm supposed to be relaxing right now. Playing video games with friends. Hanging out at a club. Wasting time on twitter, sending celebrities stupid pickup lines. Not doing more schoolwork at another fucking school of magic."

Solomon laughs lightly, a warm sound that you wish you didn't like.

"Technically, RAD wasn't a school of magic," He tells you.

"Oh, who fucking cares? This school is! You've kidnapped me and dumped me in Hogwarts, basically, and I hate Harry Potter!"

"How unfortunate for you, then." Solomon grins boyishly as he rolls your body over, eyes twinkling with mirth as he gazes at your utterly unamused expression. "Relax. You'll begin to enjoy your time here, once you get used to the course load. I dare say you might even find it fun to learn about our magical heritage."

"When pigs fly, Solomon," You quip back, opting to ignore the fact that your potions teacher told you that your end-of-year project would actually be to create a solution potent enough to give farm animals wings.

You sigh grumpily and roll over, closing your eyes and relaxing quietly as the sorcerer pats your shoulder, quietly telling you not to nap for too long, so you have time to finish your homework later.

You ignore him, for the most part.

I'll never enjoy it here, you convince yourself. As much as you love spending time with Solomon, you don't have it in you to completely change your life and begin studying magic, irregardless of how much the teachers at this school want you to. Ignoring the sound of scribbles as Solomon begins his own homework, you tell yourself that the mage is wrong, that all you need to do is flunk out during this first semester and then you'll be returned to your normal life in your home country.

What you don't expect is for Solomon's words to be proven true.

One week into your time at the academy, you've just begun to grow used to the course load. The students at school stop raising eyebrows at your face, and as you begin to grow accustomed to the school, it becomes accustomed to you.

Two weeks in, you've already fallen into a loose rhythm.

By three weeks, you've developed what a less apprehensive person would call "friends," and by four weeks, you're genuinely giving your studies your all, learning spellwork and enchantments with an almost-passionate fervor.

By the time the month has ended, you've actually forgotten your plans to flunk out.

And though you're surprised by your change of heart, the never-fading smile on Solomon's face makes you suspect that he predicted this from the start.

You glance up at him from your textbook, momentarily halting your note-taking to study the way the enthralled light never fades from his eyes, even as he glances from book to book while continuing to draw a summoning circle for his demonology class, somehow looking pleased even as he cross-checks his image.

You groan.

You've found yourself glancing up at Solomon more and more often in these past few days, distracted from your own studying by the way his hair falls over his forehead, or the way his chest sometimes peeks through when he undoes the top buttons of his dress shirt, or the way he sometimes bites his lip cutely when going over a particularly difficult passage. Hell, you once spent five minutes staring at the sorcerer's hands, because they looked oh-so-soft as he took notes on the book he was deciphering.

The first few times, you convinced yourself that it was merely because of how eye-catching he was. And that was a fair enough excuse. After all, the colors of this academy are black and gold—Solomon's pale skin stands out against the dark fabrics of the uniform and the even-darker furnishings of your dorm room.

But after catching yourself gazing wistfully at his lips a few too many times, you were forced to confront the truth.

You have a crush on the aggravating, annoying, sassy, difficult, handsome, cute mage.

But that's not even the worst part.

You think he knows.

A warmth creeps onto your cheeks the moment you begin to think about all the instances where Solomon has caught you staring at him over these past few weeks. There are almost too many examples. Early in the morning, when his hair is all messed up. Right after breakfast, when his lips have changed color to whatever potion he drank. On your way back from school, when you walk back to the dorm together. During homework sessions like these. Right after he steps out of the shower—oh, he's caught you gawking at him far too many times after returning from the shower. (You tried to play it off by saying that you were merely studying his pact marks, but you know he knows the truth. His abs are loosely defined, but they're there, and you want to lick them so bad it hurts.)

"MC?" Solomon calls, and you blink.

Fuck, you think, suddenly realizing that you were staring at him while you daydreamed about him.

Add one more to the count, you think with an internal groan, silently wondering how many more times the sorcerer will catch you staring at him.

"You good?" He questions, and you can see the smirk he's trying so hard to fight off his face.

"Uh—I'm going to the library," You blurt, opting to avoid the sorcerer's gaze as you grab your jacket, looping your arms through it with deftness despite how utterly befuddled your thoughts are as you escape the room. You don't have your books with you, or your library card for that matter, but anything is better than responding to that all-too-playful question.

You flee before Solomon has a chance to say anything else, all but running to the stairs and sauntering on down until you're outside the dorm building, the air crisp in your lungs as you inhale sharply.

I'm such a mess, you think to yourself, the lingering warmth on your cheeks beginning to cool as you fold your arms and walk in the direction of what you hope is the library. A few people crossing you nod their heads in greeting, quick smiles thrown your way as you return them, but no one stops to converse with you, and you're left alone to debate your affections for the sorcerer.

You sigh, trying to sort out your thoughts.

Solomon must harbor some affection for you, you know that.

After all, he's spent far too many nights explaining foreign concepts to you, calmly navigating you through the waters of magic where he could have simply directed you to a tutoring board.

Moreover, you've seen how he behaves with other students here at the academy. No matter who has come to your dorm, be two kids it for a group project or a single friend in preparation to summon a demon they're interested in, there's a barrier of cool distance Solomon maintains with everyone else, one that simply seems to disappear around you.

Distance, you think, recalling the awkward way Solomon avoids physical contact with others, using sorcery to do things as simple as handing a glass of water to a guest. With you, though, you've both only grown closer, once-awkward pats now having turned into comfortably leaning on each other whenever one of you is tired. Last week, Solomon even ran a hand through your hair, and though he blinked afterward in surprise, as if he hadn't meant to do that, there was an undeniable feeling of closeness to his actions, something which others would hardly expect to see from him.

Another sound of frustration spills from your lips, aggravated at your situation with the sorcerer. The two of you are closer than others, but still not close. More than casual friends, but hardly intimate. Beyond nothing, but not yet something.

You kick a rock lying on the ground, watching it sail into the grass as you brood over the fact that Solomon is more confusing than the history of magic.

And you might brood some more, maybe even consider confessing your affections to the sorcerer in question, if not for the fact that you randomly look up and the building that greets you is not the school library.

You blink, abruptly turning around to check the way you came, but it is also a road that you've never seen, never heard of, and certainly have never navigated.

"Fuck," You mutter to yourself, realizing your predicament.

You're lost.

***

In your dorm room, Solomon is growing increasingly frustrated over the summoning circle he's been instructed to sketch. His fingers are supposed to be tracing the emblem of Mephistopheles, but it's so similar to Barbatos (and he's so used to drawing the summoning circle of Barbatos) that he keeps messing up at the end and has to restart all over again.

Or at least, that's what he tells himself is the cause for his repeated failures.

Solomon is hardly dumb—he's well aware that the reason for his utter inability to focus right now is caused solely and explicitly by you, and that this would not be happening if he weren't worried for your whereabouts.

But at the same time, there's nothing he can do about the fact that you're already gone, or the fact that he just messed up again on this seal.

A frustrated groan leaves Solomon's lips, inwardly cursing himself for driving you from the room.

After all, he really needs to get this assignment done.

Then again, it's not like he would be doing much of a better job if you were still here.

The sorcerer can never find himself fully able to focus around you, eyes always drawn upward to study you. It feels like if he casts his gaze away for too long, he'll miss something—the way your eyes light up every time you understand a concept, the way your eyebrows furrow every time you don't. It's the little things he tries to pay attention to: how you silently nod your head at the end of every sentence you read to the way you aimlessly fumble with your blanket whenever an assignment bores you.

Solomon is positive that he's successfully picked up on every one of your little quirks, by now. At a single glance, he can tell what subject you're studying by the way you're sprawled out over your bed, and if he looks a little longer, he might even be able to tell how good a mood you're in based on the way you tap your pen against your notebook. Give him enough time, and he's even picked apart how the way you kick your feet in the air relates to how nervous you are for an upcoming quiz.

Yeah, Solomon really hasn't been doing too well in his school, with how much he's been focusing on you.

Of course, you don't notice it at all. No, Solomon cast a spell long ago which makes it look like he's studying diligently even as he gazes absentmindedly at the way you run a hand through your hair when you're tired, making it incredibly easy for him to catch all the little glances you've been giving him these past few weeks.

Does he feel guilty for watching you watch him?

Absolutely.

Does he think about removing the spell?

All the time.

Does that mean he will change anything?

Most definitely not.

The look of shock on your face every time he casually "catches" you staring at him is too attractive for him to stop, especially since the immediate state of fluster it induces is so amusing to watch.

But that doesn't stop him from regretting calling you out just now, because while he's pretty sure you know your way around the campus, he's also well-aware that whenever your head is in a jumble, you lose all sense of awareness.

I'll wait, he decides, rapping his pencil against the outline of the sketch he's working on, reaching for a ruler. I need to finish this assignment, anyway.

But then ten minutes turns into twenty, and by the time Solomon is done with his assignment, the hour is over, signaled by the four loud rings from the grandfather clock on the ground floor.

The mage glances at your empty bed, set just six feet across from his, and he frowns.

I'll wait a little longer.

But one hour stretches into two, and two stretches into three, and nearly four hours have passed by the time the sun sets, and Solomon is pacing back and forth in the dorm, glancing at the door every time he turns, in hopes that you'll walk through it.

Fucking hell, he thinks to himself, grabbing his academy jacket as he flips his book closed and shoves it onto his desk.

He isn't going to torture himself any longer like this.

Hell, he'll confess if that's what it takes to bring you back, because right now, he's going crazy cooped up in this room and there's only one thing that's going to calm him down.

Shoving his keys into his pocket, he yanks the door open, all final hopes of you standing on the other sides crushed when he sees the almost-empty hall, and the questioning eyes of students wondering why he's heading out when it's so close to curfew.

He huffs in exasperation, slamming the door shut as he walks out, long legs carrying him in the direction of where he suspects you got lost.

He's really fallen for such a troublesome person.

Then again, Solomon adores even that part of you.

***

You've never been so relieved to see a clump of white hair.

Or, well, maybe you have—you know, given that Mammon has saved you more than a few times from Lucifer's wrath—but you've never been so relieved in the human world to see a familiar, fluffy clump of white hair.

"Solomon!" You exclaim the moment you set your eyes on the mage, sprinting forward to capture him in a tight hug. He stiffens at the contact, and you inwardly note that this is probably the closest you've ever physically been to him, but you don't care. Maybe it's the instincts that were drilled into you after being surrounded by demons for a whole year, but you had seriously begun to think that you would die out here.

"How on earth did you get here?" Solomon asks incredulously, gazing at your surroundings.

"I, um." You suddenly feel embarrassed. "I got lost, and then I sort of just picked a direction and walked."

"You..." Solomon pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation, unable to even bring himself to repeat your words back to you. "You do realize that that's the worst possible thing you could have done, right?" The mage shoots a frown your way. "Do you even know how far off-campus we are right now?"

You ignore his words off with a smile, following him gleefully as he shakes his head in disapproval. "Then isn't it wonderful that I had you to come find me?"

You laugh, the sound filling the otherwise empty night, missing the way Solomon fights off an instinctive smile at the sound.

"If you turn tail and run away every single time I catch you staring at me, we're going to have an issue," The sorcerer mutters, more under his breath than to you. You ignore his words, neither wanting to nor knowing how to respond. "Your crush on me is only going to bring more trouble to us, if things continue on like this."

And that gets to you.

(And though you don't know it, the sorcerer is equally mortified by his statement. He certainly hadn't wanted to confront you like that.)

"You know?!" You exclaim, eyes round in horror. You always knew that he must have had his own suspicions, but for him to just come out and say it? You stare at the man with a mouth agape, raw embarrassment warming your cheeks for the second time today.

"Ah, yes," Solomon comments lamely, wincing when he hears how his words must sound. "I mean, ahem, I would actually, erm, consider myself, goodness look at that goose, to harbor similar sentiments.

"You...what?" You ask suspiciously, partially confident that Solomon just confessed but at the same time confused whether his words mean what you think they do. "You like me?" You ask hesitantly, watching the mage's expressions carefully.

"'Like' is such a strange word," Solomon begins. "One might consider it to be an expression of indifference, whereas another would—"

You cut the mage off with a sharp elbow to the stomach and a pointed glare, warning him to stop being around the bush.

"Fine," He mutters, shooting you a sulky glare. "Yes. I like you, okay? Are you happy now?"

A warm smile blooms on your face as you hear the sorcerer say those words, savoring the beautiful pink that swells on his usually-pale cheeks as he averts his eyes and crosses his arms.

"Yes, that does make me happy," You muse, grinning. "For how long?" You probably didn't have to ask that question—but Solomon's evident embarrassment makes it impossible not to milk this situation for all it's worth.

"Since...the Devildom," He mutters, the pink on his cheeks surging with even more prominence.

You blink at that.

The Devildom?

That's even longer than you've liked him!

"Wow," You confess, eyes slightly round in wonder. "I...I had no idea, this whole time."

"Yeah, I...kind of made sure of that."

"What do you mean?" You pause in your walk to glance at the man standing next to you. "How'd you stop me from figuring it out?"

"I, uh," Solomon scratches the back of his neck, glancing away sheepishly. "I may have used magic."

Wow.

Well, that—

Yeah, that was entirely expected.

A huff leaves your throat, and you cross your arms dramatically as you saunter ahead of Solomon, not bothering to acknowledge the fact that Asmo once warned you that, if Solomon ever started liking you, this was exactly the sort of thing he would do.

You pause, glancing right and then left as you approach a crossing, completely unsure of which way to go but unwilling to reduce yourself to asking the sorcerer from help. Not when you can feel the waves of apology radiating off him.

"Are you mad?" He asks when you stop, and the hesitant inflection of his voice only makes you fall for him more because of how annoyingly adorable you find it.

"Maybe," You respond, deciding to keep him in suspense. "But you can make it up to me."

Before Solomon can ask how, you walk in front of him and turn around such that you're facing him, one arm on your hip as you send a confident smirk.

"Given that we both like each other, see..." You trail off, standing in front of him with a devilish grin on your face as you wait for him to piece together what you're hinting at.

You see his eyes widen, the moment of realization dawning in his eyes as he understands what you're asking him to do.

Solomon doesn't hesitate much after that. He barely spends a single moment preparing himself, and then one hand is reaching for your cheek while his lips pull closer, and you savor the sight of his eyes closing as he presses his lips to yours, and then your own eyes are closed, basking in the feeling of warmth as you grin and lean into the kiss, lifting your own arms to his neck, looping them around to play with his hair the way you've thought about so many times.

Something about the situation is undeniably blissful, undeniably comfortable, and undeniably right as you both kiss, and the very notion that you could have ever been so hesitant about doing this makes you both laugh, the two of you smiling and giggling into the kiss like fools.

You lean back slightly, pulling away to beam at the sorcerer with a proud smile, but Solomon chases your lips, dipping his head forward and halting you from going further back by snaking a hand around your waist. Not at all minding this development, you grin as he turns the kiss passionate, slipping his tongue through your lips with a determined force you can't help but be turned on by, and then the lightheartedness of the previous moment is replaced by a sudden passion for more of this, more of the feeling of Solomon's mouth against yours, more of him.

You bring your hands to his chest, pushing him backward and onto a bench that could not be more conveniently placed as you press his body down onto it, and he doesn't bother commenting on how you're wrinkling his shirt when you grab fistfuls of it and straddle his lap. Or maybe he does try, but you'll never find out, because seconds later your lips are back to being pressed against his and everything else in the world disappears.

"Fuck," Solomon whispers, gasping when you part for air, his fingers just about to slip under your shirt as he caresses your waist.

"Yeah," You respond, knowing exactly what he's talking about. When your eyes dart from his flushed neck to his eyes, the look he gives you is nothing short of sinful.

Seconds later, the two of you are kissing again—because really, Solomon can't look at you like that and not expect you to immediately throw yourself at him—and his fingers really do squirm their way underneath your shirt, the feeling of his touch almost electric as his fingers grip your waist firmly.

And then it really doesn't matter that you're both still in public, that you're straddling Solomon on a public bench and that it's almost well curfew, because holy fuck you've both wanted to do this for way longer than anyone should have to wait, and now that you've started, nothing will pull you apart.

Bonus:

From his lovely little cloud in the heavens, Simeon cheers, a warm smile on his face as he watches his two favorite humans give in to the attraction that has always been painfully obvious to him.

He hums peacefully, internally wondering how he'll go about collecting his money from Lucifer, now that he's won their bet about how long it would take for the two of you to grow intimate—but his bliss is short-lived as he watches you tug Solomon's tie off, a light gasp leaving both his and Solomon's lips, though for two very different reasons.

"No!" Simeon cries, gasping dramatically with a hand over his chest as he realizes what is happening. "You're in public! In public!"

He moans in distress, falling to his knees as he sends a prayer up to Father for you both, his horror widening as he catches sight of buttons popping off your shirt as Solomon slips his hands underneath it, both of you starved and desperate for more contact than your clothes can provide.

"Little lambs!" He wails in horror, and all the other angels stop what they're doing for a moment to wonder what has their Simeon in such a twist, nearly every angel in the heavens listening to the sound of his utterly defeated whimpers that follow as he crawls back into bed, trying his best to forget the unholy sight that now plagues his mind.

"Forgive me, Father," He murmurs, fingers darting from his forehead to his chest, then right and left. But then, he thinks of a better prayer: "Forgive them."

Bonus bonus:

Centuries later, Simeon will reluctantly (and drunkenly) recount this tale to Asmodeus, who will immediately cheer in support. The fifth-born will claim to have always sensed the unspoken sexual tension between the two of you, and has always been an ardent supporter of "giving in to temptation," regardless of how public one's surroundings may be. After hearing Simeon's story, he'll order another round of drinks for the bar, paying for it himself in honor of everyone's two favorite humans, the demon cheering both your names loudly and downing a shot before promptly passing out on Simeon's lap.

MASTERLIST

Word count: 4.3k

Notes: Fun fact: originally, the academy that mc and solomon are at was supposed to be RAS - the royal academy of Solomon - just like RAD, but solomon was the headmaster (and there was a corresponding RAM run by Michael in the Celestial Realm) :) Not fun fact: I’m also working on a diavolo fic right now and it feels like every word is a breath of air being ripped from my already asphyxiated lungs :)

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Thank you for reading <3

I do not own the rights to Obey Me! or any of the characters within it.

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