#i want to threaten you not myself

[delizbin]

Effie’s first year as an escort was… interesting! Life threatens aside (and some death here and there), the parties and dresses were nice :)

#I am aware this is not the kind of “wall” scenario you all wanted but I have something in mind okay stick with me #be patient #:) #he would never threaten her the first year c’mon … wouldn’t he tho? #black and white because my mind doesn’t properly function so this is the maximum of productivity for me I guess #hayffie #this really happened I was there I can confirm this #he isn’t a ray of sunshine for sure #she must have tried to interfere at the beginning just to drop the ball 3 years in or so #hoping for the promotion right #this is my blog I write whatever I want in the tags okay? okay #shish I really just want to shut myself up sometimes #while am I still writing aah #capisc just popped into my head and I had to make him say that for some reason #he was drunk of course but at least he didn’t vomit on her here and there

[svtskneecaps]

also in terms of the bolas playlist it's fascinating to me that the songs added by each person have a slight tendency to represent a consistent aspect of bolas

like

the songs added by slime are their chaos

the songs added by philza are their rebellion

the songs added by cellbit are their rage

the songs added by baghera are their anguish

it's so fucking FASCINATING TO ME but i don't know enough music theory to elaborate lmfao this is Vibes Only

(mouse's songs i can't boil down to an easy noun which is why they aren't mentioned lmao anyway they go hard asf)

(also i went on the longest fucking unhinged elaboration in the tags lmfao i almost didn't have enough tags left to tag "long tags" at the end

(i could have even gone on longer in terms of where their characters were at entering purgatory [philza: cage for a cage; cellbit: fed worker murders; baghera: her past as a federation experiment; slime: turning into a code because of the code pretending to be his daughter] but i ran out of space and also time it's 4AM AAAAA)

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #this is a sweeping generalization btw esp for baghera's she added a WIDE variety of music #qsmp bolas #sorry i forgot that tag existed lmao #i will elaborate slightly: #slime added: find your flame; gas gas gas extended; waltz of the meatball man; foghorn sound effect #philza added: b.y.o.b.; throne; the melting point of wax #cellbit added: hayloft II; brazilian dança phonk (which roier literally played during purg while beating the shit out of bbh lmao) #baghera added: can you feel my heart; still waiting; and coincidentally she added 'it's been so long' (the fnaf song lol) #TO BE CLEAR THESE ARE GENERALIZATIONS #baghera also added the government knows [REBELLION] and oops [CHAOS] #philza added given up [ANGUISH] #cellbit added zombie [ANGUISH] and tokyo drift [CHAOS] #slime added as above so below [ANGUISH] #it's not a perfect category; ESPECIALLY for baghera's songs i want to make that so clear in these tags #HOWEVER. it is interesting. #anyway i went after lyrics for these examples but just generally when going through the playlist the first time #i kind of learned that like. #music to murder to was probably cellbit; punk millenial music was probably philza #the wackiest shit was probably slime (was shocked to find out tokyo drift was a cellbit song for this reason lmao) #baghera's i usually could only pin down bc it didn't sound like anyone else's #and mouse's added songs i could not describe the vibe if you threatened me for it but it has one #i guess the closest vibe is 'a college radio station run by anime fans' and even then it's not that close #it kinda excludes songs like the b//ad bun//ny songs #unless college anime fans are also fans of them in which case great! #IDK IT'S 4 AM I WAS JUST MAKING MYSELF SAD ABOUT TILIN I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP #shut up vic #block game brainrot #long tags

[angelnumber27]

You lost true friends due to being a crazy person

Uh ma’am this is a mdcdonalds…

#you told me you hope i get raped again told me to kill myself and called the cops to my house #you threatened my family you lie about everything you copy my posts word for word and post them like u wrote them😂😂 #you have now spent EIGHT YEARS obsessing over and stalking me #you made fake accounts and sent yourself all the awful shit you said to me then posted it everywhere telling people that it was me… LMFAO #you have the maturity of a fuckin stump evidently even now EIGHT years later #I’m in your head rent free and I don’t want to be #we were never friends… LMAO ???? #why would I EVER EVER want to be your friend. be fr. #this is a wild thought process like be fuckin serious☠️ #you’re so pathetic #I’ve had to block like twenty ip addresses because you will not fucking stop obsessing over me. I know I’m sexy but this shit is just weird #Olivia you look so beyond stupid lmfao #get some fucking help #you’re fucked

[camellcat]

look. either you get it, or you don't. I'm not gonna explain The Vision to you, you just have to see it.

#proceeds to explain The Vision #okay so I'm literally only pointing this out bc one of my favorite tropes is bad guy sneaking up to good guy's window #being like “hey hello let me in so I can act all threatening but it's bc I'm totally into you” #and that is how Theo and Liam work in my brain #and that is how Ichigo and Kisshu... #well #I MEAN TECHNICALLY THAT DID HAPPEN IN THE ANIME JUST NOT SO NICELY #LOOK OKAY my favorite Kishigo fics have that trope and so I will stand by it as a staple of those two #and Thiam #fuck it #you can't control me #if I wanted to look any deeper I'm absolutely positive I could make more comparisons #but rn I'm saying all of this bc I think it would be incredibly funny to stick Liam and Theo in those outfits #and I don't wanna draw it myself so I'm asking you to use your imagination #thiam #theo x liam #liam dunbar #theo raeken #teen wolf #tokyo mew mew #I'm so sorry to be shoving tokyo mew mew in your face teen wolf fans but it's late and the thought won't leave my brain

[slopdoughnut]

My bitchass cat- 80 ft up in a goddamn tree

It has been a day

#i dont want to make a long post so im ranting in the tags #this is now day 2 of her being up there #we only just found where she was in the tree thanks to binoculars #there are lots of emotions rn #ive already had a shitty few days and now this #on top of all that #this guy that came to “help” was constantly making remarks about ways to get her down that would definitely kill her #“oh I'm just not a cat person” #ok??? #and??? #shut the fuck up #i lost my cool on his ass so fucking fast #i like to consider myself a generally nice person when it comes to social interactions #but within the hour i was done with this asshole #i will not mention the ways he talked about getting her down #but i will mention that i definitely threatened him #lucky i did not tell him what i was really thinking #which was that i wanted to cave his skull in #but still #i dont give a fuck that you are here to help #the past few days have been shit and now this???? #why are you such an ass??? #fuck that guy #thanks for reading my rant #i hope your week was good #ill update on how getting her down goes #rant post #personal rant #rant

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #sebastian vael #listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks #okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else #and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend... #that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't #it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more #even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline #whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke #i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.' #'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame #then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him #even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there #and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah #but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els #also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him #i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it #also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious #because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like... #i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like #an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks #i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power #and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai #and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think #i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him

[katyspersonal]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Recently I just can't stop having a bad mood! I just don't know what it is :/ I am trying to focus on the things that make me happy and combat my wish to vent and turn irritating things into positive ones but every single good thing improves my mood for maybe like 3 minutes, and then I think about things that make me angry ANYWAY! I want to be around people but I can't because if I keep talking about things that make me angry - minor or big - I'll just exhaust them. But I've been trying to focus on good things for a while now and now it feels like it is a daily hard battle.

I really need to either finally have a mental breakdown (but I can't control when it happens, you know?) so I can cry, or have a justified reason to get angry that won't feel like petty over-reacting on my half. Hhhhrg

#/vent #look i am TRYING to stay funny or chill or simply based #but you dont understand - *everything* online makes me angry or bitter! #i dont even know what happened.. nothing about internet changed yet it feels like it did??? #like a sound you cannot hear but the waves still shake you biologically.. #as much as i judge people who built their audience on being reactionary at least- #-they have privilege of being negative as much as they want and only get 'yass queen kick ass' for it #meanwhile i should watch myself to not extend venting limit gfhhjhv when i vented too much i should- #-stay cool for a while before i can feel bad again #am i overestimating the importance of my negative emotions though? #like.. am i being vain thinking my vents will 'poison the world around me' when my anger is- #-as threatening as barking of an alerted pomeranean? #yeah maybe....... #maybe i just have microtrauma from people that treated me like a dangerous monster for having- #-emotion of anger to begin with. this summer this issue was dialed up to 11 #right i am probably being too focused on self at this time! #i should watch some youtube trash-reviews or petty dramas to feel angry on behalf of someone ELSE. #gotta.. get out of my own head. now.

[just-another-bored-killjoy]

day idk at hostel: both roommates teamed up to make fun of me.

#oversharing on tumblr part unknown #i cannot fathom how people think this is okay to do #i eat more here than i did back at my home #she's threatening to call my mum and tie me to my bed and feed me #like brother i had 4 meals today what else the fuck do you want from me #then they proceed to joke about my meds and how they never need any because they're ''normal'' unlike me #well congratulations #would you like me to vomit on your face? #i try to explain how every individual has a different eating capacity #then go quiet mode #and they're like ''tumhe kharab laga kya🥺🥺?'' #haa laga kya karoge abh? #pagal hai inlog kaha kaha se aa jate he #didi is still fine she knows her limits #but this bitch first year wali #chases me with spoons #like girl im an adult i can take care of myself #and my parents are so fucking worried about my eating #they have been for years #and now im actually getting better and she wants to ruin it for me? #like she has no fucking idea how better i am rn #i can not help if my def of better is her ''oh no bechara bachcha kuch nhi khata'' #fuck you man #ah yes sorry bohot emo ban gaye aaj #anyways what else would you expect #tw eating issues #just incase idk what to tag this as #un dono ko sone do mai unke baalo me aag laga dunga #bitches wont even let me watch doctor who in peace

[bandzboy]

kehlani is a great example - she was openly pro-palestine (even though they've stopped posting as much) but she's signed to a zionist label. and i'm boycotting the music officially but to a certain extent it's like these artists livelihood IS threatened if they leave their label (if they're not dropped first). do these artists' pro-palestine views get erased because zionism is so insidious and has grown roots in literally every aspect of the western music industry and they happen to be signed to these labels (which at this point all have a zionist connection)?? the creative community for peace (responsible for justin bieber becoming a zionist all of a sudden) has probably invested so much money and time to make sure it's established and unavoidable. knowing this about the western industry, it's hard to be so hard on kpop idols because they are also largely being taken advantage of by these companies. it's like, we see western artists being openly pro-israel but aside from like a few idols no idol has been openly pro-israel. idk my brain is working in overdrive lately it's such a shitty situation we're forced to be in when we just want to enjoy music and our favorite artists

yeah that's why when i know all of these things i respect the artists that show their support knowing they could get dropped by these labels SO MUCH because they are putting their career on the line and they know that, especially small artists, need labels to support them and it's essentially a deal breaker. i know for a fact that there are probably a lot of artists who get threatened behind the scenes to not say anything and they probably start saying "if you say this we will drop you and make your life a living hell" i mean... a lot of these people in the industry are so powerful that they can blacklist someone just like that and it's terrifying! what is annoying to me is how there are big artists that have a lot of money atp and are so well loved that it's hard for them to lose anything not so say anything! some of these people could start their own label and everything and choose not to say a thing and to me it's disappointing in that sense! but it's always the smaller-ish (saying this because some of them aren't that small and i don't offend anyone lmao) that speak out and put everything on the line. that's why i hate this aspect of the industry, how much these artists are exploited and obligated to do things they don't exactly want to but because they have these big music executives waving their contracts in front of them are probably threatening to just throw it in the trash if they don't comply! a lot of them use that to their own advantage and it's something that is unfortunately very common! that's why if an artist is dropped from a label for speaking out they should be supported and i respect those people so much because even tho they lost opportunities they stood up for what they believed in and what i am hoping that these boycotts do over time is for us to make a better space for artists and even incentivize unions in the industry etc because having no freedom of speech because of a contract or wtv is it's absurd and personally, i could not stand living like that!

#i wanna be a musician/producer #and that's why i think abt this a lot #and i've been questioning whether or not i wanna be in this industry #knowing i might be threatened if i show my morals and speak for what i believe in #that's crazy i don't want it to be like that #and i'm genuinely dedicating myself to this wholeheartedly and i made this promise to myself #this is just the beginning getting rid of the zionists is very imperative #this is why people say palestine is freeing us from a lot of things #i understand that so much bc it made me re-evaluate so many things i consume and the field i am in #and that's i believe in the movement and in this boycott so much #i am rambling but you get it kdfjgkda #asks #anon

[stupid-dyke]

stayed up til 3 when I have an 8am again. I do this because I hate myself so sos sososososososososo much. It's really funny because I don;t fall asleep in class thanks to my meds but I've noticed every time I go to class after 4 hrs sleep people act weird around me which is how I know im acting really weird. And I am so extremely angry at myself. I spent 4 hours. well 8 hours. Well all day. Pretending I'm going to do homework and distracting myself with various other things on my laptop or crying on the phone to my parents. Got zerooooo work done at all i stayed up most of the nihght for literally no gain whatsoever this is pure self harm. Which I do becauase again I hate myself. Because I didn't do my work. Which i won't do tomorrow either because i'll be so tired I wont be able to string a sentence together even though I'm supposed to give a presentation haha. My favorite activity is staring at the clock on my laptop getting later and later and later. new high score etc. Who's a hypersomniac now. Imagine how much easier this semester would have been if I'd gone to bed before 2am ever. I'm so fucking angry at myself I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now even. If I fail my classes again my parents are gonna make me live at home forever and say im too crazy to live on my own. I know I was supposed to get a therapist but I hate them all so, so, so much. I think people get that job bc they feel powerful telling some pathetic person what to do knowing I literally cannot do it and will come back week after week admittingn failure and paying

I know I was supposed to take the new experimental FDA approved drug for IH but the list of side effects is fucking terrifying and I live and sleep alone so i really don't want to take a super powerful sedative that can make you stop breathing. So I'm gonna keep taking stimualnts and lying to myself that today is the last day I stay up extremely late for no reason.

#it's really sad I'll skip the meds sometimes to try to sleep and it doesn't even help. I just feel worse while awake. #The real reason i can't sleep is because im screwing myself over by doing no work and im terrified im going to fail my fucking classes #and theyre all going to say im crazy if I fail my classes. theyre going to say im crazy and I self sabotaged on purpose #bc i dont want to succeed. Dad says that every day #Dad loves telling me everytjhing wrong with me multiple times a day every day so i never ever forget #hes so helpful. He's trying so hard to help. If i dont answer the phone he starts worrying ive committed suicide #again i was suicidal one week in 2019. Get the fuck over it. You've literally threatened to kill yourself multiple times. Fucking hypocrite #a bunch of my friends are going to graduate this semester and best case scenario i graudate next semester and then I'll lose touch with eve #ybody #and then the good times are over and life is boring and hell forever and ill get more disabled every year until I can't work and then I'll #run out of money and die #you know when I talked to my genetics professor about the alzheimer's results he said somethign will kill you eventually and it #wont be that unless you live to old age which will be good! #so true bestie. so ture #Guys lets be real here. Why the fuck. Do we live. why. It is so goddamn hard. Maybe it;s easy when u get sleep . But that hasn't happened t #me for a while #all my classes end next week and i havent done most assignments since spring break #also over spring break my parents met w a lawyer to revise their will adn afterwards dad told me im executor and explained to me what will #happen after each person in my family dies. #the assumption is that I will outlive everyone. they don't think my sister will live to old age adn they are already old #the lawyer apparently has clients with the same disability as me and all of them had the same thing happen. Once they get another disabilit #and get older it becomes impossible to manage IH and they cant work til retirement age #i just spent an hour typing this shit instead of sleeping. 4am-730am sleep lets go. I should kill myself #i hate my parents fucking advicce bc they;; be like well when i was ur age I was married it sure must suck to be single!!!! fuck you guys f

[scarletcomet]

there's really no help for feeling suicidal when you're not in immediate danger

#like i guess im just supposed to wait until i am in immediate danger?? #and even those resources are just to keep you safe. not make you not want to die #what the fuck am i supposed to do #being suicidal but not being in immediate danger really sucks #at least if i was like going to hurt myself in a life threatening way i could potentially die #but no im stuck here all because i dont want my parents to be sad #doesn't seem fair. i didn't ask to be born #i don't know what to do #how long can i feel this way and imagine all these scenarios until i do something about it? #i got really close a few nights while i was still at school #but every method has its downsides #i wish i could just not care about the effects my suicide would have on other people #i really just need to go for it #it's extremely selfish of me to say this but once i'm dead i won't care #i wish i could kill myself tonight #i wake up every morning and have to do another day. sometimes it's not so bad but i still just want to be dead #even while im laughing or snuggling with my bunny or with friends i still want to be dead #i want to kill myself #i think if i had a plan even if i was never going to go through with it i would feel better #like something to fall back onto. or just knowing it was possible #guess it's time to keep working on the pros and cons list of different suicide methods🤡 #someone please help me #people who deserve to live and want to live die all the time but i have to keep living. doesn't seem fair. #the world is a really fucked up place #sorry for not adding trigger warnings. went past 20 tags and im on mobile so i cant move them around #i dont think anyone reads these anyways.