#i wanted to make sure my response went thru

[medicaltechnician]

idk if its the late nights and lack of activity (my own fault) but i’ve been feeling like i need out of this friend group more and more. Idk what it is (i do, it just seems… petty and stupid. And just seems like a me problem not a them problem.)

problem ofc is that, there are a couple people i like as friends in the group. hell fuck i love them all and don’t want them out of my life completely. sort of wish that I didn’t have my ex out of my life completely. Maybe one day we can reconnect. But we both have to be more mature for that. We both need more growth. No idea how he’s doing.

I feel like I villified him a bit in my brain. Which was urged by my closest friend. Who I trust with my life so. (this was after I confessed maybe I have problems with him to to this friend. which was valid). Idk, people approach things differently. And I agree’d with my friend.

I think its a problem with how I talk. I guess I come off in absolutes? Idk. I give off, strange vibes when I talk. This tangent makes no sense to anybody but me.

But also, can’t just, drop em? They’re sort of my only friend group. It ain’t like I get out and about. I don’t mesh well with people. It sort of sucks that the most I’ve meshed well with is my ex, my bestie, and another friend. My ex is no contact so fuck me ig. My bestie is pre-occupied with other things and personally, I feel we’ve drifted a bit. I’m not too bothered by it? It’s neither of our faults, just taking different life paths. Also going from complete co-dependency to what we have now. What we have now is probably just normal friendship lmao. And then the other friend is a couple years younger than me, so obviously they do have their set of friends within their age group. Which I encourage them hanging out, like obviously. I see myself as more of an older brother figure ig. Try to part some wisdom I’ve gained. Then theres my crush and obviouslt rhats a mess, I wish I never had a crush on him so we could have a normal relationship. I wish I could have friends?? Idk. what am I talking bout?

So, yeah. I need to get out of the house more often so I can meet like-minded people (in the creative and path sense) so I can actually do the things I want to do. I don’t even need to be a producer or lead or director. Fuck I’m happy starting from the bottom and working my way up. (Ideal situation is mainly being on equal footing. I want people to give their input and ideas to my ideas, and vise versa)

#ker talks #it’s strange nowadays i feel like when i reach out im being annoying or smth #whether im reaching out for positive stuff or negative #when i do i rarely get a satisfactory response in my mind. feels like i’m being brushed off. #or ya know i’d like to hold a conversation thats got some meat to it? but it fizzles out #shit wondering if my bestie even wants to talk to me. #last time I came over I was hoping to watch jerma together and we did-ish. he sort of was textin/interacting with his crush #or just on his phone idk. call me a boomer but it bugs me when people r on their phone in a one on one situation #I understand if it’s a bigger group or if ya just checking it #but it seemed fuckin constant. it sucked. shit. #its worse when we get high together esp since i only get high alone so i tend to scroll a bit too #but itd be nice if when we got high we did stuff together esp in person next time we hang out i’ll keep note of this stuff and bring it up #just to make sure i aint making it up. esp cause i feel like im being stupidly jealous bout this #i see him interact with others? whats different bout me. he said he feels comfortable actually unmasking round me #and i know interaction drains him and fuck he went through so much and is trying his hardest to stay alive and sane rn #so idk i dont want to put more on his plate. but its fucking me up a bit too. #hell one of the things we went thru together. reacted differently and affected differently cause slightly different situations. #its honestly one of my working theories on why we drifted cause we keep reminding eachother of that night by interacting. #it sucks. alot. i dont want to be reminded of my failures. of the fact it traumatized him so fuckinf deeply and i failed. #and then i feel guilty for even feeling like shit bout the event cause i didnt have /that/ happen to me i just happrned to be there. #i need a goddamn professional to sort this out. it sucks ass. and i hate that it fuels my self hate #both to do with my inability to protect and feeling insignificant. overshadowed. thats the worse feeling of it all.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Guerrilla

serialkiller!dr.yunho x writer!reader

he is a serial killer with morals okay almost a vigilante

dni if you're not comfortable with this trope.

genres and warnings: angst, fluff, suggestive, violence warnings, atz as doctors cameos, some gory descriptions, twisted morals, past trauma, questionable stuff honestly esp yunho's intrusive thoughts, read at your own risk.

word count: ~27k

synopsis: you're a crime fiction writer and you move in with dr. jeong yunho despite his strange, strict house rules. he's very private and you don't mind that, but he's also very cold and unapproachable and you're determined to crack through his walls. little did you know your obsession with gore and crime would melt his heart. Soon, you find yourself tangled in lies, secrets and a detective from your past who suspects yunho and his gang as you navigate thru your relationship with him.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (i had a dream. we talked about it and this happened-)

“You know, if you could just help me bring my bags inside instead of staring at me like I’m about to commit a homicide, maybe you wouldn’t have to complain about the noise and not being able to focus on… whatever the heck you wanted to do.”

Yunho blinked. Was he hearing you right? When you cocked your head waiting for a response, he licked his suddenly dry lips. “I’m just worried about the amount of bags you’ve brought at this hour of night.”

The ungodly hours after midnight. You tucked your hair behind your ears before dragging one of the heavier bags to your room, the floorboard creaking unceremoniously. You heard the groan of your house owner who finally got up after a solid ten minutes of judging you and went to the porch to pick up a bag-

And almost fell on his knees.

“What the fuck did you put in here?” 

“What do you think?” You asked, throwing the bag in your room and going to the porch, snatching the bag and dragging it yourself. 

“A body?”

“Or two,” you muttered under your breath and again, Yunho thought he was hearing things. “It’s just my books. I thought I mentioned in the form that I’m an aspiring writer and would be coped up in my room reading or writing most hours of the day. I really won’t bother you much, just help me get my bags inside before the rain gets any worse. I don’t want my books getting ruined.”

Begrudgingly, Yunho obeyed, dragging two bags at once just to show you he wasn’t weak. You, however, did not bat an eye, much to his annoyance. After bringing in the last bags, he stood in your room looking around.

“I’m not sure this room is big enough for your books…”

“Don’t worry, I’ve lived in smaller rooms with more books,” you finally cracked a smile. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Jeong. I thought you’re usually doing night shifts?”

“I had a day off today and planned to sleep, but unfortunately, you disturbed my sleep.”

“You’re welcome,” you weren’t going to let him damper the mood. “Since you’re awake now, might as well tell me any rules about the house so I can finally go fix up a meal for myself. And an apology meal for you, though, as the owner of this house, you should be in the kitchen fixing something for your newly arrived housemate. But… I won’t complain.”

Yunho folded his arms, considering you. There was something about you that didn’t make him want to kill you in the most painful way, which was odd for him. He recalled the last time someone moved in with him and he almost dissected him alive. “Nice to meet you too, y/n. I’m trusting you read the rules before you decided to move in?”

“‘Minimal noise especially during the day, no intervening in each other’s business, an absolute no to bringing over people even if they are your family- if you have to, on a three-days notice, and… no getting to know each other. The workshop in the garage and the upper floor is off-limits.’ I believe I got them right?”

“You have an exceptional memory,” Yunho was impressed for once. “Why did you move here?”

“I’m sure you read my response in your form too, but to put it simply, I can’t afford a nicer place, though I’m curious why a doctor is living in such a dodgy little house in a shady town-”

“I, too, need to make ends meet,” Yunho explained even though he could have easily ignored your question. “Circumstances. Besides, I get a whole house instead of a cramped apartment in the city, and my workplace is close.”

“I know! Cramped apartments are suffocating. Even though I’ll only own a room here and share the floor, at least it’s a… house.”

Yunho nodded. “I’ll give you three days to settle down and break any rules except the ones mentioned in the form. Now, I understand that you can cook?”

“Always been a good cook,” you said proudly. 

“We can share the kitchen expenses and if you cook enough for the both of us, I can take 40 percent off your rent. Fair offer, isn’t it?”

“Peculiar is what it is,” you told him. “But I won’t question you. If I have to cook, might as well for the both of us. Saves me money in the long run, and I need to save every penny I can.”

“Right. There are a few cabinets locked in the kitchen, please don’t try to open them. I can’t think of any other rules right now, but try to keep it down, will you? And again, the upper floor is absolutely off-limits.”

“Got it,” you nodded. “Let me know your usual schedule so I don’t think there’s a serial killer entering my apartment in the middle of the night.”

Once again, Yunho had to stop himself from twitching in surprise. “What’s your obsession with serial killers and murders? You’ve mentioned them numerous times in the past half an hour.”

“I think the rules go both ways, Dr. Jeong Yunho,” you smiled teasingly, opening one of the bags and taking a deep breath at the amount of books in it. “But if you have to know… my genres are crime fiction and mystery. I hope I don’t scare you away, especially if I ask you something odd about human anatomy.”

Yunho almost gaped at you before shaking his head and exiting your room, absolutely unnerved by you in a mere half an hour. It was crazy- usually, he was the one making people feel alarmed or discomposed, but you were an odd one for sure. However, as with every past housemate, he was sure you were going to get on his nerves and he would have to either bury your bones in the backyard- consequently breaking the ‘code’- or plan something elaborate and chase you out. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to be a pleasant person to share the house with. But when he opened the door at about 1am to a distraught looking girl that didn’t even reach his shoulders carrying six bags, some bigger than her… he wondered if he should kick you right out and remove the ad he had put in on a few websites looking for a ‘peaceful’ housemate. He was sure you must have some thoughts about him too- he wasn’t the most welcoming person and people would eventually get curious about his closed-off personality and start snooping around.

For now, Yunho peeked into your room from the stairs- you had your hands on your hips and were assessing the room, probably planning how you could fit everything in there. He checked the time- he needed to leave soon. Praying silently that you would just fall asleep or something instead of snooping around, he went to his room to get ready.

You, though, had no plans to sleep tonight. You needed to set your room and get some sleep so you could meet the deadline of your draft that was due this weekend- only three days away. You assessed the space in the room again- if you could move the bed to the corner, you could place your computer table and chair there which would be arriving in the morning. You could line the books along the rest of the walls on the floor. You didn’t need any fancy shelves. Thankfully, this room had its own closet so you wouldn’t need to worry about where to fit your clothes. 

You exited the room into the living room space, wanting to get the bearings of this house. The toilet was right in front of your room and one of the reasons you moved into this dodgy house was that it was… a good house. A toilet all to yourself was a blessing, and upon checking it looked clean. 

The living room wasn’t too big but it looked cosy. You noticed a lack of personal belongings and decided to add a few potted plants on the windows soon. There was no TV but you had a projector and if you moved the couch, you could have a whole plain wall which was perfect to watch dramas when Yunho would be away. The kitchen space was at the opposite end with a large countertop in between and it looked like Yunho had most of the kitchen appliances already. 

And at the end where the main door was, there were stairs leading up to the doctor’s space. Off-limits. You wondered why he was so uptight but you figured that as long as he was letting you live almost for free in return for home-cooked meals and maintaining the house, you could tolerate him. It was strange if you thought about it but you didn’t have the luxury to overthink right now.

You finally had a place- better than an apartment, yet something you could afford. You found yourself smiling. You just need to meet your deadlines now and hopefully publish your book by the end of the year- before the publishers change their mind. 

But first… coffee.

You went to your room to get the bottle of your favourite coffee blend, which was really a mixture from a few different brands that you had come up with after years of experimentation. You set two cups on the counter and checked the fridge for milk. You weren’t sure about the doctor’s preferences so you made a simple latte like your own. You were just finishing up when you heard the dull footsteps of him descending the stairs. 

“I made coffee…” you trailed off- now that he was in a white button down and black slacks with his hair styled, it finally settled in.

Doctor Jeong Yunho was pretty damn attractive.

“Uh…” he looked around awkwardly before grabbing the mug and taking a sip, raising his brows in surprise. “This… is actually pretty good.”

You grinned. “My own blend.”

He made an impressed face and you took that opportunity to ask. “You don’t mind if I make a few changes to this floor, right? Nothing major, just a few plants here and there, maybe get a chair or two, move the furniture around to make space for the projector?”

“Isn’t it too early for that?” Yunho frowned. “I might kick you out before that. Or you might end up leaving-”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” you dismissed. “What I mean is, I’m staying out of your way so you would have no reason to kick me out because I really, really cannot get a better deal than I got with you.”

“Sure, then,” he finished his coffee. “Do whatever you like as long as you stick to the rules. I’ll be on my way then.”

You relaxed, mind already buzzing with ideas as you headed towards your room to fix your draft.

—-------------------------------

The trial period Yunho had given you was over and you were now seated in the kitchen with your third cup of coffee since midnight, awaiting your judgement.

Really, you were telling yourself that you shouldn’t worry. If you had to be your own judge, you had done a spectacular job of staying out of the doctor’s way except when unavoidable- which was usually right before he left for work around midnight when you would both eat dinner, or his usual shift in the later hours of morning. He insisted that he was fine eating alone and you didn’t have to wait for him to eat your own dinner, and yes, he sounded like he could be anywhere but there, but you told him that if you were cooking for him, you’d rather he eat at least one meal with you. For what reason, you didn’t give and he didn’t ask.

You didn’t give because you may be a self-proclaimed good cook but you were also someone who was sensitive. And that meant that if Yunho didn’t like something you cooked, you would be ready to take constructive criticism and improve. 

And he didn’t ask because he could see that you were a sensitive one. He knew the moment he told you off for filling the house with potted plants within one day and you almost teared up asking if he didn’t like the signs of life around the house. He actually almost laughed at that but when he realised you were serious, he told you he wouldn’t take care of the plants. You told him you wouldn’t expect him to because the plants were ‘your babies’ and had moved two houses with you already. 

So yes, you stayed out of his way. You cooked for him. You cleaned the house quite a bit- so much that Yunho almost didn’t recognise his own porch because of how different it looked in the span of a few hours that he was absent from the house. He made a point of telling you right after that your trial period wasn’t up, and you made a point of retorting with how you were just waiting for him to give in, to which you earned a scowl. By now, you knew that the doctor was not very friendly- at least not immediately. You wondered if that was the reason why he had troubles with his past housemates. 

When you heard the sound of keys jingling and the door unlocking, you straightened and started heating up the dinner- you kept it traditional today- rice, beef and a lot of side dishes. Perhaps, it was your last attempt to win him over, and your heart was beating loudly with anticipation. You never waited for him to come home and share a meal in the early hours of morning but today, you made an exception. You turned around to greet him-

Finding his clothes stained with what had to be blood. His hair was all messed up as well and he had a bruise on his cheek. You exhaled. “Looks like somebody had a long night shift.”

“What are you doing this early in the morning?” He took off his shoes that you noticed were quite muddy. It hadn’t rained in a few days so you briefly wondered where he had been, but you shook your head.

No questions asked. That was the rule.

“Prepared breakfast? For you,” you scratched your suddenly itchy neck. “For obvious reasons. Last attempt to bribe you before you announce your decision.”

Yunho scanned you for a few moments before he said, “I should change first.”

“Of course,” you nodded. “I’ll set the table in the meantime.”

Yunho nodded and went upstairs, going to the room at the end of the hallway and dumping his shirt and trousers in the washing machine, turning it on. He needed to get rid of the blood as soon as possible and detergent wouldn’t be enough so he grabbed a soap and rubbed the stains on his shirt for good measure- now, the clothes would wash themselves. 

It was almost a mechanical routine now, he scoffed at how his hands worked on their own now. He went to his room, unlocking it and changing into sweats. Usually, he didn’t eat much before sleeping- after all, due to his night shifts, he slept for most hours of the day and breakfast wasn’t something he cared about, but the smell of beef was making his stomach rumble. He figured he could make an exception today.

By the time he joined you at the table, there were a variety of dishes in front of him and he raised a brow at you. “You really went all out, huh?”

“Of course I would,” you shrugged. “But I’ll be honest. I got most of these side dishes as a gift from one of my friends from work.”

Yunho nodded, thanking you for the meal and eating silently, waiting and waiting but you never asked him about his bloody clothes. Did you dismiss it because you thought it might be from a patient? Or because you simply didn’t care? Was he lucky then, having found you as his housemate? Because one of the qualities he needed in his housemate that he simply couldn’t have stated in the form was a lack of curiosity or inquisitiveness. It was different than being nosy- he could deal with nosy but not someone who would overstep their boundaries because they were curious.

It was why he was apprehensive of you at first. You were a writer. Writers had to be curious and inquisitive, and you were. He knew you were only beginning right now, but the few occasions you had been curious, he was thrown off. And for the right reasons-

“As a doctor, do you think it’s more painful to bleed to death or to drown?”

“As a doctor… do you think a sharp pencil stab to the jugular vein could be fatal?”

That was really all you ever asked him. His opinion as a doctor. You asked with such simplicity that he couldn’t help but stop whatever he was doing and really think about the answer-

“I personally think it’s more painful to drown. The water burns you from the inside. Bleeding to death… you stop feeling things at a certain point and it gets easier from there.”

“Well, it depends on the location of the stab but I reckon if it’s around the base of the neck, it could be fatal. But it would have to be embedded quite deep, and then extracted so a person can bleed to death. If it stays in, there’s no point.”

And his answers would earn him your satisfaction and suddenly, you would be muttering to yourself and going for your room, probably to note it down. He had done his research there too- if he was going to have you as his housemate, he needed to do a background check on you. He didn’t find anything odd in your socials- you tended to stay anonymous and most of your blogs were writing-focused. And when he snooped in your room while you were away grocery shopping, he only found various notes and books on crime and methods of serial killers. He was ashamed to admit he spent quite some time on that book and learned a lot.

So now, having finished the delicious breakfast (you really were a good cook) and finding you uninterested in his whereabouts and the aching bruise on his cheek, he finally cracked the first smile in three days. 

“I’ll let you live if you take care of the house like you have been so far. And you really don’t need to wait for me during meals. The rules are still the same.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding and laughed in relief. “Thank you. I’ll stick by the rules, and I’ll probably have dinner with you if I’m not busy- I don’t like eating alone, to be honest. You can pretend I’m not there if that’s what bothers you. Also…”

When Yunho urged you to continue, your shoulders relaxed in relief but your brows crunched in annoyance. “Do you have to bring your muddy shoes inside? I just cleaned.”

Yunho looked towards the doorway. “I can’t leave them out.”

“Well, I can’t have muddy shoes inside, so you’ll have to do something about it yourself or else I’ll be annoyed and have to clean them myself and you do not want me cleaning your shoes-”

“Okay,” Yunho waved a hand to shut you up. “I’ll take them off on the porch next time.”

“Good,” you folded your arms, considering him. “I think we’re good then.”

Yunho narrowed his eyes. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be saying that…”

“Well, now that we’ve settled everything, I hope you and I will get along,” you extended your hand and he warily shook it, aware of how small your hand was in his. “Now, since you’re a doctor, I must ask if you’ll take care of the loud bruise on your cheek before you sleep. We don’t want it looking worse than it already is.”

“I’ll take care of it,” he assured, and he couldn’t help but continue. “Aren’t you going to ask?”

“I’ll admit that I’m curious, but I won’t break a rule- and I won’t be tricked into breaking one either,” you winked at him and once again, he found himself smiling. “I’ll just assume you had a bad day at work or a rough case. You must often get them as a… surgeon?”

He nodded and you started stacking the dishes. “You can go rest now. I’ve installed a clothesline in the backyard- I really wonder where you’ve been drying your clothes all this time, but I won’t ask. You should try hanging your clothes outside this time.”

For a moment, Yunho wondered if he should have kicked you out.

“I just have a question before you disappear,” you turned and he paused in his tracks, wondering if his stealth was worsening. “It’s an odd one, for my book, but… approximately how long would a healthy man suffer with a stab wound to this area-” you rubbed the left side of your stomach, “- given the weapon is an old 12-inch kitchen knife that’s been sharpened way too many times?”

For a moment, Yunho wondered if he had forgotten to lock the cabinet in the kitchen that contained all of his knives. “You’re uh… oddly specific.”

“I have to be,” you shrugged.

“Well…” Yunho rubbed his chin, thinking of all the patients and victims he had dealt with so far. “Can I sleep on it?”

—-----------------------

Your life was finally not falling apart, for once.

In fact, perhaps this was the calmest that things had been for a good few years now, you mused to yourself as you mopped the floor, your usual instrumental playlist on a considerable volume playing in the living room. Ever since you graduated and had to face the reality of navigating through life as an adult, mostly on your own, you had to tackle a lot of struggles and obstacles. Sure, things got better when you finally signed a contract with a publishing company and started writing for them, but whenever you thought things calmed down, there was always something happening to make you feel like everything was falling apart once again.

Like a few weeks ago when you had to move out of your apartment that you had lived in for three years because the owner decided to sell the building and every tenant had to empty their apartment on a rather short notice. You were compensated but that wasn’t enough because everything was so expensive now. You couldn’t go back to your hometown- if you went back, you would never be able to leave again. So you scoured the internet and found your current place.

And things were finally okay. You did not have to worry about rent- you were doing a good job at maintaining the house and feeding the owner proper meals and so far, he had no complaints with you (he told you if he ever did, he would make sure you knew). You were now able to keep up with your weekly deadlines and finally able to overcome your writer’s block- all thanks to Yunho.

Over the past two weeks, while you could not say that Yunho had warmed up to you, he was getting there alright. You could tell because he stopped complaining about you overcleaning- or perhaps, he admitted defeat. He also stopped protesting when you joined him for dinner before he left for work at night and it was then you would ask him all the questions you had- mostly injuries related, sometimes medical law, but you found that he was knowledgeable in legal law as well. He was never curious about why you asked him all your odd questions, but one day, he asked you what exactly you were writing.

“I’m writing about a female detective who’s assigned to a case of serial killings in her precinct. The serial killer is a strange one because he does not have a fixed method of killing and his victim pool has no pattern, and at first the detective believes that there is a group of them which may or may not be working together, but towards the end, I reveal that there was only one… and the serial killer was from the same station as her so he always knew what to avoid.”

And that was the only time Yunho looked remotely impressed with what you did- if you didn’t count the time he saw you carrying a tower of books and wondered how a tiny thing like you could carry so much. After that, whenever you told him about your progress during dinner (you insisted you needed to talk out loud about it and if he didn’t want to hear it, he could say so because you were used to talking to the walls) he would offer clarifications at least about the things that concerned him. You asked him if he had dealt with a lot of fatal wounds in surgery.

“When I was a beginner, that’s when I got the worst of them,” he admitted. “But I don’t work in the fancy hospitals anymore. With some of my colleagues, we opened our own private clinic. The hospital life wasn’t for me- at least not right now.”

That was all he offered about his personal life and you didn’t ask why he couldn’t handle a hospital life right now. Perhaps, he was going through some of his own troubles like you were too. He tended to spend most of his free time out anyway so you figured that medical practice wasn’t the only thing he was doing.

Plus, he had a thing for cars- old, beaten up cars that he would fix in his garage that he called his ‘workshop’. He would dedicate his weekend to those cars and would become so absorbed that he would forget to eat. One time, you made a smoothie for him because he had skipped his meal and when you went to the garage and cleared your throat, he appeared in your vision, all rough and messed up. You stifled your smile and raised the glass in your hand. He simply asked you to leave it in the corner and go away. 

He forgot to drink that and you found it the next day in the same spot, to your dismay. 

You sighed to yourself when you recalled that day, placing the mop next to the wall while you cleaned the window in the living room. You spotted a car in front of your neighbour’s house where the old couple lived and you figured it might finally be their son paying them a visit. You had actually met the couple while on your way to the convenience store and they asked you if the doctor was giving you any trouble.

“I don’t know why he couldn’t have a housemate for so long,” the old woman shook his head in worry. “He’s such a kind young man. He checks on us every weekend even though he is busy and he makes sure we go to our monthly checkups.”

“Really?” That was unexpected. “Sounds like a kind young man indeed.”

She laughed. “You must be a good person if you’ve stuck around for this long. If he gives you any trouble, just let me know and I’ll give him an earful, yeah?”

You let out a short laugh, wanting to tell her that it was probably the other way round, but it had you wondering why his previous housemates didn’t last long enough with him. He wasn’t a very strict person and the rules weren’t something one couldn’t obey. Was it because of his cold demeanour? You had to admit that he was very mysterious and sometimes, you wondered just what exactly he did other than his medical practice. 

Maybe curiosity does kill the cat, so you would let it go.

You were just stacking the mops back in the shed when you heard the sound of Yunho’s bike- you could recognise the sound of his bike now- it wasn’t too loud like other bikes but had a deep sound. You turned to find him parking it in the garage and you checked your wristwatch.

“You’re… early today.”

It was half past four, the sun just starting to illuminate the sky. He usually came back when the sun was fully out. He took off his helmet and ran his hand through his hair, scanning you.

“Yes, I am,” he got off the bike, not offering an explanation. You didn’t need one either. He simply nodded at you once in greeting before going inside-

Leaving a trail of muddy boot prints again.

Cursing at him, you grabbed the mop and started cleaning after him, noticing he took off his shoes on the porch this time. You made a face at the shoes, wishing you could have made it at him and picked them up and wiped them on the grass to get most of the mud off before setting them back on the porch. When you got inside, Yunho cleared his throat.

“You don’t have to take care of my shoes, I’ve said it multiple times-”

“I just cleaned,” you clenched your jaw, turning to him. “Look. You’ve got rules in this house, and as your housemate, I’ll state my rules too.”

“Oh?” He looked amused. “Please, carry on.”

“Wipe your shoes on the grass before you take them off on the porch,” you exhaled, a weight off your shoulders. “I hate it when I have just cleaned the entire house and you come from work with your muddy shoes trampling all over my hard work.”

“Trampling might be a strong word…”

“You get my point,” you glared at him and he straightened, nodding. This was the first time he saw you angry and-

He was trying his best not to laugh right now.

“Any other rules?” He managed to ask without cracking up.

“Just…” you looked around. “Oh yes, I’ve got one. When you wash your hands in the sink, you should wipe your hands with that towel-” you pointed at the twin bunny hand towels hanging by the hook you attached on the wall next to the sink. “You can use the blue one. I have the towel for the purpose that you don’t go around spreading a water trail after yourself.”

This time, Yunho turned around and finally let out the laugh he had been holding back and you stood gaping at him, wondering if you should congratulate yourself for finally making him laugh or if the bubbling thing in your throat was your anger worsening. “What? If you don’t like that, you can kick me out.”

“No,” he turned around to face you, looking down. “I’m… sorry. I won’t do that again, I’ll abide by the rules. You don’t have to get so angry-”

“I’m not angry-”

Yunho stifled another smile, shaking his head as if to stop himself from laughing again and you narrowed your eyes. 

“You can laugh in front of me. I don’t bite.”

But perhaps, that was the wrong thing to say. His smile faded and he went back to being the same, cold doctor. “You should go to sleep now.”

Just like that, he dismissed you. He dismissed you like any other time you almost cracked through his cold, mysterious demeanour. And just like always, you let him dismiss you and left him alone.

He might not kick you out for setting these rules but if you continued to try to get him to break this wall he had built all around him… he would have no other option. Curiosity could kill you, you knew, but you were so curious about what kind of a person he was. You didn’t have many neighbours but the old couple insisted he was very kind and friendly when Yunho had been anything but friendly to you. He had been distant, unapproachable, sometimes talkative but rarely smiling like he had today. You refused to believe that this was who he was. He had the brightest smile and the most heartwarming laugh that you heard today, and you vowed to yourself that even though he might kick you out for crossing boundaries…

You would make him laugh. Slowly, and surely, you would break him.

—--------------------------

Yunho had had a few eventful days and perhaps, work was the only place he felt at home now, surrounded by all of his friends who knew him. Knew who he was. Knew and didn’t judge him for being the kind of person that he was. Sure, in his own home, he felt comfortable too (except for when a certain someone started nagging) but his true home was with his people.

And to find you pop up at his workplace without a notice made his eyes twitch in annoyance and realise that the urge to kill you might not be as strong as before but it was there alright.

“What are you doing here?” He said through gritted teeth, surprising not only the old lady from next door but also the staff who walked past you. 

“Jeong Yunho, that is no way to talk to a lady!” The woman said, shaking her head in disappointment and when you saw Yunho’s features soften when he met her gaze, you scoffed. “She was kind enough to walk me here- I’m having a lot of trouble with my vision all of a sudden.”

“You should have called the ambulance then,” Yunho frowned, taking the woman’s hand and guiding her across the hallway, disappearing at the end and you pursed your lips, deciding to take a seat in the waiting area.

You looked around- the clinic was big enough and the staff had been kind. It looked like it ran well. There weren’t many people here right now- only a few patients in the waiting and you read the board to see that there were a number of doctors available- a gynaecologist, dentist, paediatrician, psychiatrist, nephrologist, eye specialist, ent specialist and orthopaedic surgeon. You were reading the names of all the doctors when you felt eyes on you and you saw a man in a lab coat watching you with mild amusement. You looked away but when you realised he was still staring, you raised a brow at him and he finally approached you.

“I happened to see your interaction with Yunho earlier, and couldn’t help but wonder if you were the new housemate we’ve heard so much about?”

You were rendered speechless- first of all, he seemed to be pretty damn close with Yunho. Either that or he was nosy, but you knew Yunho wasn’t the type to keep nosy people around. And then… 

The housemate ‘we’ had heard so much about?

“Uh… You’re telling me that Dr. Jeong Yunho talks about me? Here? At his workplace? Who might you be?”

“I’m Dr. Jung Wooyoung,” he extended his hand and you shook it. “I’m the dentist here, and an old friend of Yunho’s. I don’t know if he mentioned but our friend group opened up this clinic here.”

“He mentioned colleagues, not friends,” you told him and he shook his head in disappointment. “But nice to meet you, doctor. I’m y/n, the housemate Yunho talks about a lot- all good things, I hope?”

Thus, Wooyoung started retelling every conversation he had with him about you and you found him very easy to talk to. There was just something about him that invited you to relax and let loose, and soon after you heard that Yunho had told them all about you being a nagger and a clean-freak weirdo writer, you were complaining about how Yunho was borderline mean to you and you found it hard to believe that he was the warm, kind and funny person that Wooyoung insisted he was.

“I mean… the lady that I brought with me? Our neighbour? I told her she was wrong when she said that Yunho was a kind young man, but you’re saying he’s the funny one? I haven’t seen him smile in days, Wooyoung.”

“He’ll get used to you in no time,” Wooyoung waved his hand in dismissal. “You just gotta keep trying. Me? I cracked him in two days.”

“No way,” you laughed. “I’ve only made him laugh once and it’s been about a month-”

“Haven’t you got patients waiting for you, Dr. Jung?” 

You froze, turning around slowly to see a tense Yunho standing at the corner, watching you two for god knows how long. You were about to apologise to Wooyoung for keeping him back but Wooyoung scoffed at Yunho.

“I expected better from you, mate. I like this one- I’m taking her to Hongjoong’s room,” Wooyoung said, getting up and helping you up too, steering you by your shoulders towards the hallway even though you protested and when you looked back to catch a glimpse of Yunho, you caught him shaking his head in disappointment-

But he let out a chuckle. He probably thought you couldn’t see him. He probably laughed because of Wooyoung. But he was going to get so mad at you-

“Don’t worry, he won’t kick you out,” Wooyoung almost whispered, winking at you. “If he tries anything, you come to me, okay? I’ll handle him.”

“Thanks,” you smiled awkwardly. “Where exactly are you taking me?”

“I would have taken you to Mingi, who’s Yunho’s oldest friend and would have given you tips on how to make Yunho give you the princess treatment, but he’s a little occupied right now so I’m taking you to Yunho’s second-oldest friend, Hongjoong.”

“When I accompanied the neighbour lady, I didn’t mean to intrude,” you paused in your tracks, looking at Wooyoung. “I’m not sure I should be here-”

“It’s okay,” Wooyoung assured you with a wide smile. “Relax. Yunho is not some big angry dude who’ll give you an earful at home. I’ll explain- and by now, he probably knows that I’m the one who’s basically kidnapped you.”

You laughed, allowing him to guide you to the eye specialist’s room and when you went inside, you saw the doctor packing his belongings. When he raised his head and brushed the dark strands away, he frowned at Wooyoung. 

“The guest doesn’t look too pleased to be here, Wooyoung.”

“This is Yunho’s housemate,” Wooyoung grinned cheekily and Hongjoong said a loud ‘oh’, greeting you. “She’s the writer, Hongjoong. The crime fiction writer.”

“Ah,” Hongjoong nodded. “I read your book when Yunho told us who you were- ‘In the Silent Hours’? Amazing read.”

You were genuinely touched. “Thank you so much. I wish I could say something, but Yunho hasn’t told me anything about you all.”

“We know,” he laughed. “He can be like that. I hope you had a good experience visiting us, though, and if you have any concerns, you know where to come.”

You looked at Wooyoung who was smiling proudly. “I have way too many questions but I won’t ask- Yunho has a ‘no interfering in personal lives’ policy,” you said and they laughed as if that was the funniest thing Yunho could have done. “I’ll drop by with cookies some day, if you’re okay with that?”

“Sounds great!” Wooyoung clapped. 

“I should really get going now and catch up with Yunho on our neighbour’s condition,” you said, excusing yourself and they enthusiastically said goodbye, making you unable to contain your smile as you made your way back to the entrance where Yunho was discussing something with a nurse-

Goodness, he looked so fucking hot in that lab coat with his hair done. You were positive his outworldly proportions were what made a boring lab coat look so attractive-

He caught you staring and when he finished talking with the nurse, he slowly made his way to you.

“Where’s grandma?” You asked. “Did you find out what’s wrong?”

“We’ve referred her to the nearest hospital and called her family- it seems to be a case of infarct and she’s lucky that she’s still walking and functioning like normal save for her eyes.”

“Oh-”

“And thanks to you bringing her so soon, we’ve managed to minimise the damage,” Yunho actually smiled this time and you let out a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding. “She’s resting right now- they’ll take care of her until her family comes.”

“Thank you,” you smiled. 

“Well…” Yunho checked the time and you did the same- it was almost 2 which meant he would be off soon. “It’s almost time to go home. You walked here?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I should get going then.”

When Yunho didn’t say anything, you said bye and turned to leave but then you heard the familiar voice of Wooyoung shout ‘take her home, don’t be an ass!’ and you stifled a grin, facing Yunho to assure you that you would be okay walking-

“I mean… we’re going to the same place, so… I could make an exception this time- like the other exceptions I’m making,” Yunho narrowed his eyes at you. “I will pretend today didn’t happen.”

“Oh, please, I’ll walk myself home-”

“I’m kidding,” Yunho smiled and you wondered if it was the place that made him comfortable enough to joke with you. “I would have considered dissecting you alive if you dropped by for no reason, but really, you did a good thing today. Think of it as returning the sentiment.”

“I really don’t get you,” you said, ignoring the reference he made to your last inquiry about dissections, waiting for him when he said he would get his things from his room. When he returned with his bag, helmet and without the lab coat, you followed him outside, repeating that. “I really don’t get you, Yunho. You seem like two different people in one body.”

“Perhaps, I am,” he mused. “And perhaps, you’re lucky I’m in a good mood today. Here, wear this.”

He handed you his helmet and you took it, watching him get on his bike. “What about you?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, you can wear this, I’ll be fine-”

“Y/n,” he warned, the sudden change in his pitch sending butterflies in your stomach. “Just do as I say. Now, get on and hold on tight. I’m not slowing down for you.”

And perhaps, you should have insisted more on walking back home because he sped through the streets, making you grip his jacket tighter with each passing second, but it was so thrilling that when you reached home, you almost asked for a second round. You took off the helmet and laughed out loud, shaking your head.

“It’s not my first time riding on a bike with someone, but it’s been ages. Can I get another ride one day?”

“Don’t even think about it,” Yunho warned, helping you get off and then parking the bike in his garage. “And I hope you don’t have any questions regarding my workplace today.”

“Oh, I have many, but…” you motioned to your lips, zipping them shut and Yunho nodded in approval, unlocking the house and going inside first. You muttered ‘ass’ and went to the kitchen, heating up everything you had made today, mind still plagued with the events of today.

—-----------------------

You finished plating the steaks, satisfied at your presentation, the cheese perfectly melted on top of the fried crust. It smelled heavenly and since you now knew that Yunho was an actual food enthusiast and a surprisingly gentle and constructive critic, the simple chore of cooking became something you started looking forward to.

When you lived alone, you never made much effort to cook for yourself, but now, things were different. Your house owner was reducing your rent in exchange for home-cooked meals and you could deliver, so you waited for Yunho who would be coming downstairs any minute- he had informed you that he had to leave for work early today so you prepared accordingly, though anyone could tell you were putting more effort into the meals now.

And that was because ever since the day in Yunho’s clinic, it looked like he was finally starting to consider you more than a housemate. You couldn’t exactly call yourselves friends- the rules were still the same, but perhaps, Yunho liked that you were a person of your word. You never talked about that day in the hospital, neither did you ask him about his friends. You never asked him what happened if he came back home at an odd time or if he suddenly went out in the middle of the night. You both respected each other’s boundaries and perhaps, that was what made him start opening up to you.

It wasn’t much, no. It was the little things- him offering to help you arrange the grocery or join you when you watched netflix. He would scroll on his phone, occasionally comment on whatever you were watching and then leave. It was him actually cleaning after himself when he accidentally brought his muddy shoes inside- you gave him a thumbs-up to acknowledge his effort and even that got him flustered, which you thought was cute. And it was him actually taking interest in what you were writing instead of giving answers to the questions you asked. 

When you heard his footsteps down the stairs, you pretended to be busy setting the table and he made an impressed face as he took a seat. 

“This is new,” he commented, waiting for you to sit before he could dig in.

“I’ve had this recipe for a while and finally felt the urge to try it,” you told him. When he took the first bite and nodded in approval, you relaxed and began eating yourself. 

“It’s been about two months. You don’t have to worry about what I think about your cooking. I’ll have it even if it doesn’t taste like something straight out of a restaurant.”

“Can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, but I like it when the other person starts first- when I cook,” you said. He understood. He always seemed to understand where you came from, which was why you both rarely ever disagreed on things.

“It’s really good,” he said. “Also, I wanted to, uh, inform you- there’s a fundraiser happening at the clinic to help the patients who can’t afford to pay their bills. If you would like to participate…”

You passed him a side-eye. “That’s not you talking, is it?”

“You’re right,” he looked guilty. “Wooyoung and Hongjoong forced me to. Something about… cookies?”

“Oh? They remember?”

“They said it’s a good opportunity to flaunt your baking skills if you’re up for it,” Yunho shook his head in thought. “I personally think it’s okay if you don’t want to bake for strangers-”

“When is it?”

“This weekend.”

“I can do it,” you said and when he looked like he was regretting asking you, you continued, “If you have some qualms about me personally attending it, I could just bake the cookies and you could take them with you.”

“No, it’s not that,” he scratched his neck. “It’s…”

“I know, and I don’t mind,” you assured him. “I agreed to your terms when I decided to move in here. I won’t interfere in your workspace if that is what you want-”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just… new for me too,” he admitted and you paused, a bit surprised to hear that. “I’ll let you know the timings-”

His gaze stuck on the kitchen counter for a few moments, prompting you to follow it and see that he was staring holes into the knife holder. You looked at Yunho again to make sure if that was what he was staring at and then his gaze went to the cabinet at the left end of the kitchen-

“Where did you get those knives?”

For a moment, you wondered if his change of tone was something you were imagining until he got up and slowly walked to the counter where the knife holder was, taking out one of the knives and examining it and then almost rushing towards the cabinet at the left end and opening it-

“I told you not to touch the locked cabinets, didn’t I?”

You would have perhaps trembled under his dark gaze if you weren’t so confused right now. “The locked cabinets, yes? But that one was unlocked?”

Yunho glared at you, knife still in his hand. “When did you check it?”

“I was looking for a knife strong enough to cut meat and I found this cabinet unlocked-”

“You used this knife to cut the meat?”

You could feel your hands get clammy by now, lower lip almost quivering and you hated how small your voice sounded when you said yes. He turned around and almost grunted in pain and you wondered just what you had done so wrong. Almost mechanically, you took another bite of your now cold steak. Yunho came back to his seat but instead of sitting, he dropped the knife on the table with a clang.

“You knew that cabinet used to be locked, didn’t you?” His loud voice shook you and you wondered what effect he would have if he shouted. “You keep breaking rules without breaking them-”

“Well it’s not my fault it was unlocked, okay?” You shouted this time, dropping your utensils on the table, frustrated. “You should have locked it properly then!”

Before he could respond, you stormed off to your room, shutting your door with a bang and he slumped down on his chair, trying to take deep breaths, trying to suppress the feeling of disgust he got when he looked at his half-eaten meal-

Because you fucking used his knife to make a meal for him.

The knife he had killed several people with.

How could he forget to lock it? He couldn’t recall not locking it, but still, how could he be so careless? How could he-

He heard a muffled sound- it was hard to miss because the house was usually very silent, but it had to be the sound of you sobbing and to his surprise, despite everything, something in his heart ached at the sound. Now that the cloud of anger was disappearing, he realised he had reacted irrationally. It was his fault for not making sure the cabinet with his murder weapons was locked. He kept them in the kitchen so it wouldn’t be suspicious if someone saw, but still, he should have hidden them well. And then what he said about you continuing to break rules when he himself invited you to the fundraiser-

Yes, Wooyoung suggested it but it was ultimately him who invited you. Yunho shook his head, disappointed in himself and wondered what to do. He came to the conclusion that for now, he needed to collect his thoughts while you sobbed. Shit, he thought. He must have scared you a lot. He had been told way too many times that he was a scary person when angry, and you did not have to see that when you spent an hour making him such a good meal. 

So, disappointed and praying to the heavens above that you at least washed the knives properly before you used them, he resumed eating, almost gagging through the rest of the meal and when he was done and had one glass of cool water down his system to calm himself, he finally mustered the courage to get up, be a man and apologise to you.

The thing about you, he realised since you moved here, was that you were odd in a charming way. When he was looking for a housemate who would maintain the house and cook, he didn’t expect someone who was so dedicated to the task. You were busy too, but it looked like you had shifted your schedule to adjust to his. When he was gone to work, you slept, and when he came back, you would be waiting for him. You had added life to this house and he couldn’t believe how much his mood had changed now that the house looked like a home and he ate well. 

You always gave and gave, expecting nothing in return. Perhaps, that’s just who you were. A good person, someone he could only wish to be. Someone who only wrote about horrible crimes instead of actually committing them. Someone who believed that her house owner was a respectable doctor and not a part-time serial killer as well.

That was debatable too. He had a purpose- he didn’t kill randomly. He only killed the people who deserved it. But that was a story for later- he couldn’t come into your room and tell you that reason, so what the hell was he doing standing in front of your door?

Yunho knocked gently and when you fell silent but didn’t respond, he knocked again. 

“Y/n? Can I come in?”

Silence.

“Please?”

It was the gentleness in his voice that made you mutter a small yes, but only after you wiped your tears away. Truth be told, you weren’t that sensitive. You weren’t sure why you ended up throwing a tantrum and crying tonight but you figured it was long due now. You just wished you could explain to him without becoming a mess again-

And then he opened the door, looking worriedly at you. Worriedly, with his brows scrunched and actions hesitant and you found your vision getting blurry with tears again. 

Dammit. 

You looked away but from the corner of your eye you saw him look around the room once before hesitantly walking to where you were- on the floor, back resting against the bed. To your surprise, he sank down next to you, mirroring your position.

“I don’t know how to say it, but I’m sorry,” he almost whispered. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It’s my fault.”

A fresh stream of tears left your eyes and you weren’t sure if it was because of what happened earlier or what he said now. He couldn’t simply come inside your room and apologise and act like it wouldn’t affect you.

“Will you look at me?”

You wiped your tears and turned to face him, hesitating to meet his eyes. He understood. He shifted a bit towards you. “No explanation will make it better, and I’m ashamed that I reacted this way when it’s my fault that I left that cabinet unlocked. I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you when you do so much for me without asking.”

“Yes,” your voice was quivering as much as your lips. “It’s your fault. I mean… I won’t ask but they are just knives, Yunho.”

And then you were crying again at the absurdity of it all and Yunho decided to take responsibility. He patted your head awkwardly and when you buried your head between your knees, he drew closer and wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” he attempted to sound sincere- he was, but you didn’t need to know that he was also stifling grins. “I scared you, right?”

“You did!” You cried. “Do you know how awful you look when you’re angry? And holding that knife? I thought you were going to stab me, Yunho.”

And this time, Yunho laughed heartily, making you laugh as well and push him away. He put a hand on the side of your face to cup it, still laughing as he said, “Please. Who would cook for me if I killed you?”

“I don’t know,” you pouted. “You have a lot of friends. Maybe one of them could cook for you.”

Yunho smiled at that, wiping your tears away and you suddenly felt conscious of the position you two were in, though he didn’t seem to realise it yet- or he was ignoring it, for once. “Sorry for almost yelling at you. And sorry for saying everything that I did.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him, scanning his features now that you were looking at him up close for the first time. You noticed how warm his eyes could look, how soft his features actually were. He looked perfect, and if it weren’t for all the rules that would cost you a living space, you would have crossed a lot of boundaries by now. “I’m sure you had your reasons- and I should have asked when I found the cabinet unlocked.”

“But that doesn’t justify my behaviour one bit,” he shook his head. “Now, will you come out and finish your dinner?”

“But-”

“I have finished mine,” he told you. “And now you should too. I’ll go heat it up.”

With a pat to your cheek, he left the room, leaving you wrapped in his clean and manly scent. You sighed deeply, avoiding the mirror but wiping your face before taking a seat back at the table. You watched him set the table for you. 

“You should go now,” you said. “You had to leave early. I’ve probably held you back a lot, I’m sorry-”

“I’ll go when you finish eating,” he insisted and you shot him a glare before picking up your fork.

“Just so you know,” you said as you took a bite, Yunho watching you earnestly. “I don’t usually become a crying mess like I just did. I’m stronger than that.”

“Whatever you say.”

“I am,” you glared at him again. “But I have my limit too. And today was all the pent up emotions from the previous two months.”

“All because of me, huh?”

“Don’t think too highly of yourself,” you teased. “I have other things to worry about too.”

“Of course you do,” he smiled.

“Yep. Like deadlines. And chores.”

“I hope the fundraiser won’t conflict with your deadline?”

“It won’t,” you told him. “You’re assuming I’ll attend.”

“I’ll make sure you do,” he said as you finished eating the last bite. “Because I’m the one who’s inviting you.”

Perhaps, this was another step towards a relationship more meaningful than housemates. Perhaps… 

He was finally starting to consider you a friend.

—-------------------------------

Sometimes, Yunho wondered if it was a good decision to have you as his housemate.

It wasn’t that you were doing anything wrong, no. You were perfect. Goodness, you were perfect and he both loved and hated that. He had no idea how he got lucky with you- and he was not thinking about the fact that he got to have delicious meals at home or his place looked maintained. 

It was about the things he could talk to you about, and hell, he didn’t even talk to you much. You probably had no idea how much he enjoyed your little questions about what was the most painful way to die or how you would kill someone in a certain context- it was the only time, perhaps, that he could be himself. He had spent a long time being convinced by his friends that he was not a bad person inside, and perhaps, they were right. But if they were…

Why did he enjoy talking to you about this stuff so much? Was it because these secrets were a burden to him, even though his friends knew? He never told them the details so perhaps, talking about killing people and hurting them in detail with you helped him in some twisted, cathartic way. Whatever it was, he was certain that he was getting addicted to watching you get impressed by his knowledge about such things he claimed was from years of his surgery practice, and he was also ashamedly addicted about how unhinged you sounded when you talked about the criminals in your fiction.

He was positive you couldn’t be an undercover-something. You couldn’t even hurt a fly, let alone a human. But the way you got excited when you talked in detail about a certain type of wound or method of torture… he often found himself zoning out and simply staring at you while you talked. Perhaps, he was the unhinged one, but he found you so attractive when you talked about what you loved writing about, and he was very close to asking you about what made you write such gory crime fiction novels. He would be breaking his own rule of not interfering in each other’s personal lives, but all rules be damned- he had to know what drove you to write all of this.

He was also pretty sure you weren’t as naive as you looked and probably found his habits weird. There was no way he could look redeemable after the knife incident. While you were gone the next day, he personally sanitised all of them because he was sure you were going to keep using those knives. He figured it turned out to be okay in the end- he had to change his murder weapons and method soon anyway. The police were starting to connect a few dots and he was sure they would come with a search warrant any day.

But perhaps, it was a good decision to have you in this house. If the police ever came, you could help with Yunho’s image. He felt guilty for using you for that purpose now that he was almost starting to care about you despite his principles but… in the end, it was all turning out to be good. All was well.

A bit too well, if he had to say, as he watched you get a little too chummy with Mingi and Wooyoung. You had done a good job at the fundraiser, having baked dozens of cookies and with some strange ribbon packaging you claimed was cute. He took care of the stall but you still brought a lot of decoration from the house to give it a personal touch, and not only the visitors but the staff were also impressed by your skills. Now that the event was done and you were wrapping up everything, Mingi and Wooyoung had casually joined you to help and to praise your work. Yunho didn’t miss the subtle glances they threw in his direction as if to tease him, and what could he say?

It was working.

“Are you gonna keep watching her like she’s your next target or are you going to make a move?”

Yunho shut his eyes in mild annoyance before looking to his right where Seonghwa stood with his trademark smile, nodding at the visitors who greeted him before they left. If anyone knew that behind the kind smile of the paeds doctor was one of the masterminds of their team that essentially rooted out the evil from the society… 

“I’d rather watch. I know Mingi or Wooyoung will say something stupid if I approach them now.”

Seonghwa chuckled at that. “She’s done a good job today. She’s extraordinary, Yunho.”

Yunho narrowed his eyes. “Don’t tell me that you two were discussing her novel when you took a break in the cafe.”

“You know what I think?” Seonghwa almost whispered as if letting him in on a secret. “If she was a part of our team, we could actually succeed in working with the police.”

“How?”

“Think about it,” he bowed at one of the elders who passed by. “Imagine her next work is about what we do. Crime fiction to others, but something the police could use to clean up our mess, yeah?”

Once again, Yunho was in awe of the way Seonghwa’s mind worked. “The police would use that to arrest us.”

“Or they would turn a blind eye and let us do their dirty work. Two sides of the coin,” Seonghwa patted Yunho’s back and left to join Hongjoong and Yunho considered what he had said. When he saw Mingi pick something out of your hair, though, he decided he’d had enough.

“Ah, you’re here,” Wooyoung had a shit-eating grin on his face. “Y/n, now is your time to tell us if you’d like to change your houseowner.”

“Nah, I’m good,” you grinned, meeting Yunho’s eyes who looked pleased to hear that. “This one is good at pretending I don’t exist so sometimes I feel like I own the house myself.”

Mingi laughed loudly at that and Yunho smiled in embarrassment. He was guilty, yes. When you noticed his ears getting red, you laughed. “I’m just kidding. I really couldn’t have a better person as a housemate.”

“You’re lying,” Wooyoung smacked your arm playfully and you put the last of the things in your duffel bag.

“You won’t understand,” you simply told Wooyoung and chanced a glance at Yunho who no longer looked embarrassed and offered to take your bag. You let him and said your goodbyes to the two, waving at the rest of the staff who told you to come again (with baked treats) and you followed Yunho to the parking lot. This time, you had made sure he had a spare helmet and when he noticed you grinning, he asked you what was so funny.

“Nothing, I’m just excited to ride your bike again,” you giggled like a kid. “I kind of have a thing for bikes.”

And there it was. Another reason Yunho felt his heart pound rather uncharacteristically. 

Perhaps, that was what prompted him to break one of his biggest rules and ask, “Would you like to have dinner somewhere… with me? You must be too tired to make dinner at home, and I know a quiet spot if you’re up for it- if not… that’s okay too, we could order something instead-”

He paused when he noticed your smile growing and he raised a brow in question. You wanted to tell him that he was rambling (which was cute as hell) but you only nodded. “I’d love to. You’re right, I’m tired- and a quiet spot sounds nice at this hour. I won’t say no to a longer bike ride too.”

Yunho chuckled at that as he put on his helmet. You followed and got on the bike behind him. “It’s not gonna be a short trip if you’re okay.”

“I’m good!” You assured and he told you to hang on tight as he started the heavy bike and started driving towards the darkening horizon. You put your hands on Yunho’s shoulders but as he sped on the emptier roads, you resorted to clutching the sides of his jacket and rested your head on his back, watching the view. You loved how quiet it got in your head at times like these and it almost made you wish this moment would never end.

You didn’t know how much time passed but finally, Yunho started slowing down and you looked up, finding yourself at the riverside. When he parked in an empty space, he got down first and helped you down. You took off your helmet and smoothened your hair, looking around. It seemed to be a remote spot that the tourists had not yet discovered and the pretty lightning bordering the sidewalk illuminated the benches at the distance and-

“Fried chicken!” You grinned. “I didn’t know what I was craving until I smelt it.”

Yunho smiled, motioning you to follow him. He led you inside where you placed your orders and you both decided to take one of the tables outside. There weren’t many people here anyway so you were going to enjoy the cool river breeze.

Now that you sat in front of him, it finally settled in that you were outside with Yunho for the first time. That he offered to take you out for dinner. It didn’t help that he looked absolutely dreamy with his dark hair falling messily on his forehead and his shoulder looking even broader in the black jacket he wore, and when he ran a hand through his hair, swiping it away from his forehead-

He met your eyes and you realised you had been staring. You awkwardly sipped your water and looked towards your left, urging yourself to focus on the sound of the waves instead of the sound of your erratic heartbeat. You cleared your throat. “How did you find this spot? It’s beautiful.”

“I used to live near here when I was little,” he smiled and you thought there was something sad about it. 

“Oh, your parents must still live around here then?” You wondered and when his smile fell, you knew you had asked a question you shouldn’t have. 

But to your surprise, he answered, “They passed away when I was in highschool. I had to move out soon, so I couldn’t come back here for a good few years.”

“Oh, I’m… sorry to hear that,” you said and he told you it was okay. “I can tell why this place is close to your heart though. It’s wonderful here.”

“Yeah, it is,” he said and you were glad your chicken arrived at that moment, breaking the awkwardness from your conversation. “How did today go? You’re quite popular at the clinic now.”

You grinned, “Nobody can resist chocolate chip cookies, apparently. Wooyoung said I helped raise a lot of money.”

“You did,” Yunho confirmed and you both took a bite of the chicken. You groaned in appreciation.

“I don’t know if it's the river or the vibe,” you said after swallowing the first bite. “But doesn’t the chicken taste so good here?”

“There’s a reason I brought you here,” he laughed at the way you stared at the chicken. “Good food and a killer view.”

It took you both a few pieces to get comfortable and this time, when you asked him about the clinic and all his friends, he answered all your questions. You learned that Yunho and Mingi were school friends and Yunho met Hongjoong at the end of highschool. Their group expanded over the years and today, after years of studying and working together, they had their own place. 

Yunho also asked you about your recent progress and you complained about your publishers. He then asked where you were originally from and he learned that you were from a small town at the outskirts of the city and had a younger brother but your relationship with your family was a bit strained so you didn’t visit them often. He also found that you didn’t have many friends, just a few you met annually. He realised then why it was so easy for you to get comfortable with Wooyoung and Mingi- perhaps, they reminded you of your friends, or maybe you missed normal human interaction. 

As you finished eating, you asked him what urged him to really bring you here tonight. Yunho looked at you as if to make you reconsider your question but when you held your front, he finally gave in. “Just wanted to say thanks.”

“For what?”

“For everything,” he shrugged. “You do a lot. I haven’t done anything in return.”

“Uh, forty percent off?”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Just accept the sentiment and shut up.”

“Yes sir,” you saluted and he paid the bill, insisting it was his treat even though you asked to split the bill. “Well, if you won’t let me pay, maybe we can walk a little before we go?”

“That makes no sense, but okay,” Yunho said, shaking his head in amusement and you took the lead, going towards the edge to peek down at the river and then you started your stroll.

“Isn’t it nice to get some fresh air?” You commented, taking a deep breath. “No worries, just the river and us.” 

Yunho nodded silently and you grinned. “If you have more spots like these… don’t hide them from me.”

“Just this one,” he admitted and you nodded, satisfied. “What about you? Do you have a spot like this?”

You had… until everything went horribly wrong. You had a place so close to your heart that you hadn’t visited in years-

“You okay?” Yunho asked worriedly, having noticed your smile drop.

“Uh, yeah,” you pursed your lips. “I had one. I don’t go there anymore- bad memories.”

“Ah… sorry I asked-”

“It’s okay,” you assured. “If I grow the guts one day… I’ll take you there.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Just shut up and accept the offer,” you winked at him and he grinned at your statement. You noticed you had already walked around the area, the parking lot in your vision now. Before you could walk towards it, Yunho called your name, making you pause in your tracks.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure?”

“Did you mean it when you said… earlier at the clinic…” Yunho put his hands in his pockets awkwardly, trying to phrase it better. “When you-”

“When I said you were a good housemate?” You asked, internally smiling because you just knew he would end up asking you to elaborate. “I meant it.”

“Why? I have been anything but nice.”

“That’s a lie,” you pointed out. “Just because you have a few rules you’re strict about doesn’t mean you’re not nice company when you’re in a good mood. And you answer all my weird questions without judgement!” You clapped your hands. “What more could I ask for?”

When you saw that he didn’t look convinced, you took a deep breath. “To be honest, my life was falling apart before I moved in with you. Everything started going wrong at the same time. It was too much and I really thought I would have to go back to my hometown- and I would go anywhere but there. So when we made a deal? Yes, I thought you were strange at first but I couldn’t complain, and now that we’ve… warmed up to each other a bit, you’re not bad company at all, Yunho. You may still be an asshole about your rules,” you laughed and he joined, the corners of his lips curving downwards- was he flustered? “But I can see why the people at the clinic like you. You’re quite dependable.”

“That’s…”

“Too much?” You laughed. “In short, you gave me a nice deal and my life is finally back to normal, and you’re a good person, you idiot. That’s all I’m saying.”

“I think you’re getting a little too comfortable with me though…”

“Yeah?” You walked towards the bike. “Says the guy who basically took me on a date.”

And there it was again- the flustered smile of his that was so endearing, the ears turning red and the nervous laugh as he wondered what to do, where to look. You laughed out loud, finding it quite funny.

“You’re a very easy prey, Dr. Jeong,” you teased. “Quite easy to get to.”

“Did you really think of this as a date?” He held his helmet, waiting for your answer and you thought about it.

“Platonic date?” You wondered. “Outing? Icebreaking party? Whatever you wanna name it…”

You faltered when he stepped closer and looked down at you, scanning your face. Suddenly, you were so conscious of the proximity between you two. The dim lights made his gaze look darker and you wished you could take a peak in his mind. He brought his hand up and tucked your hair behind your ear ever so gently, lightly caressing your cheek-

And then he poked you in the middle of the forehead, making you wince out loud.

“I’m still the grumpy mysterious owner,” he quoted what you had said to Wooyoung today and you gaped at him, wondering if he had heard the entirety of the conversation. “So don’t get too ahead of yourself, okay?”

You rubbed your forehead, muttering okay and complaining about how he could have just said so. But when you wore your helmet and settled down behind him, clutching at the sides of his jacket, he held your hands in his and you couldn’t even digest how his big hands engulfed your small ones before he wrapped your arms around his waist.

“It’s better this way- I’m speeding,” he said.

“I really don’t get you, Yunho,” you told him and he cast you a glance before starting to drive, speeding as promised. You were pretty sure he wouldn’t have cared if you held on to the sides of his jacket like earlier or his shoulders for dear life but… 

But you wouldn’t complain. So you rested your head against his back again, bodies flush against each other and you let yourself feel whatever you were feeling for the ride back home.

—---------------------------- 

It was a good day today- somewhat productive because you were almost done writing your book and the editor was pleased with your work too. Yunho was having dinner with his colleagues tonight so you decided not to cook and just have the leftovers from yesterday for dinner then and went to your room to finally sort out the mess you had been avoiding ever since you moved in-

The books.

While you had lined all your books along the walls, creating towers of them that you were scared would one day fall on you if you ever made a clumsy mistake, you had realised that perhaps it was time you let go of some of the books. You could already feel your heart being broken at the thought but your room was starting to look too congested compared to the rest of the spacious house so you would have to make a little sacrifice. 

So you spent hours sorting through the books and almost didn’t hear Yunho coming downstairs until he knocked on your room, eyes widening at the books around you.

“Yeah, I know I’m a mess,” you said. “Are you leaving?” 

“Yeah,” Yunho nodded, laughing in what seemed to be shock. “Do you need… help?”

“No, I’m just sorting them out,” you dismissed, though surprised at the offer. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Yunho was still lingering at the doorway. “Well, I don’t know when I’ll be back, so…”

“Have fun,” you looked at him, grinning. “I’ll be fine. This is something I do annually.”

“If you say so. Don’t get lost in there,” he teased and you rolled your eyes, shooing him away. 

And that was that. You didn’t even realise how much time passed- you kept getting distracted as you held each book in hand and recalled the memories associated with it. It was only when the doorbell rang that you frowned, checking the clock. It was 09:47 pm- who could it be? Not Yunho- he had his keys. Maybe the woman from next door?

But when you opened the door to two grown men with badges around their necks, you did a quick scan, realising two things- that they were detectives, and one of the faces was way too familiar.

“Good evening, miss,” the younger one said. “We’re Detectives Lee and Seo from the station-”

“Y/n?” The older one- the familiar face called your name and suddenly, it clicked-

It clicked. Everything you had buried deep inside you, somewhere so deep that you hadn’t thought about it in perhaps a year, was suddenly out and washing over you like a wave of cold water. Everything from about two decades ago started flashing in front of your eyes and you gulped down the thing stuck in your throat with immense effort. 

“Detective Seo?” Your voice sounded small even to your ears. 

“It’s been a while,” he looked as confused as you. “I didn’t expect to see you here- doesn’t this house belong to a Doctor Jeong Yunho?”

“You’re right,” you told him. “I live on the first floor on rent.”

“I see… Can we come in then?”

“If you’re here to meet Dr. Jeong, he’s not home right now-”

“We can wait,” he told you. “Besides… it’s been a while- won’t you invite us for tea?”

“You can’t just visit so late at night and expect tea,” you folded your arms, finally getting a grip. “What is the purpose of your visit, really?”

“We really needed a statement, or anything from the doctor,” Detective Seo said. “Let us wait for him for half an hour, and then we’ll leave.”

You considered kicking them out but then figured they could wait. Yunho would probably be late and they would have to go back after half an hour without anything. Plus, it didn’t look like Detective Seo was about to budge anytime soon. The other detective also looked intrigued and you gave in, allowing them to the living room though just like two decades ago, Detective Seo made a point of roaming around-

“That your room?” He pointed at the mess of books and you stifled the urge to pass a biting remark.

“Yes, I was a little busy as you can probably see. Please, take a seat.”

While you asked Detective Lee if he would like some tea, you kept an eye on the older detective who was now looking around the living room. You turned on the kettle- there was no way you were going to serve them the fancier teas you had. They would have to make do with teabags.

“How long since you moved here?”

“Is that related to your current investigation?” You asked and he scoffed.

“Come on, y/n. Don’t act like we’re strangers here. Are you still in contact with your family?”

And there it was.

“Not really,” you simply said. “I moved out for college and only visit annually.”

“How’s your mother doing?”

Your mother. Your brother. The people who destroyed you.

“She’s okay, probably,” you said. Your voice was already starting to crack, and that was not a good sign. The kettle turned off and you poured the boiling water carefully into the cups, wondering if Yunho returning early would make things better or worse.

“I moved here around that time too,” he said, taking the cup from you with thanks and after giving the other to Detective Lee, you went to stand near the kitchen, folding your arms again. “I visit a lot though. I heard your brother got into a good college.”

“Yeah, well,” you pursed your lips. “I suppose he did.”

“Do you still blame yourself for what happened back then?”

You pretended to not hear that question and asked the detective to take a seat. It was getting annoying now that he walked casually towards the kitchen, scanning the notes stuck on the fridge- Yunho’s “eat your dinner pls” that you only noticed now, your to-do list and grocery list, and the silly magnets. He made a face and placed his empty cup on the sink-

And then he spotted the knife holder.

“That’s a lot of knives,” he commented.

“I cook. A lot,” you said, wishing you had made that teabag tea for yourself too- anything to keep you from squirming. The detective looked at you suspiciously before taking his hand out of his pocket-

“Do not touch my knives, Detective,” you glared at him. “Can you please get out of the kitchen and wait in the living room?”

“I’m just looking,” he dismissed you and to your annoyance, took out one of the knives to examine, and then the other, then the other-

“I said, do not touch my knives.”

Yunho, who was standing outside the house near the kitchen window that was slightly ajar so he could hear everything, felt his heart swell in pride and admiration- he had never heard you state anything as strongly before. He contained in his sigh of relief, wondering if now was the right time to barge in.

Truth be told, he had spotted their car as soon as he entered the street and at first he thought that you had broken one of the rules and invited someone but upon a closer look, he realised with dread that the car belonged to the detectives who had just recently connected one of the cases with his clinic. He parked his bike in the garage and when he heard voices from the kitchen window, he went to eavesdrop and realised that they had just entered.

“No need to get so angry over some kitchen knives,” Detective Seo’s voice was stern. “What do you need so many for anyway? Are they yours?”

“I’m the only one who can cook,” you were seething now. “And what’s it to you?”

“Well, this one looks oddly familiar.”

“Yeah? It’s for cutting vegetables, Detective. I bet your wife owns it too- if you have one. That one’s for dicing, the one on top for fish because I feel like it remains stinky so it’s only for fish. You have a problem with that?”

Yunho stifled a smile- you were rambling now. He wondered why you didn’t simply tell them that they were his knives originally. He was positive the detectives would be connecting the dots right away and going back for an arrest warrant-

“Well, you see,” Detective Seo picked the longest knife out. “This one?”

“For meat,” you muttered. 

“This one matches the murder weapon in the case we’re investigating,” he looked at you. “12 inches, dull but sharpened far too many times.”

“Yeah?” You scoffed. “So someone’s committed murder with a kitchen knife? They’re a genius.”

“How so?”

“Who doesn’t own a kitchen knife?” You almost cried. “They’re probably making a fool out of you, go back to your home and look in your kitchen. You probably have a 12 inch dull meat knife too.”

“How would you know?” Detective Lee asked this time. “That they’re making a fool out of us?”

“Why else would they use such an inconvenient weapon? Either for the thrill, or to make a fool out of you. Or both. Just… put the knife back, okay?”

“You’ve always been an odd one, and you always knew way too much,” Detective Seo put the knife back but narrowed his eyes at you. “Where were you on the 17th around midnight?”

“Around midnight, every day of every year for the past few years, I’ve been home. And I hope you go raiding everyone’s kitchen now that you know what your murder weapon looks like. Also, why are you even here? To investigate me? Again?”

“We came for Dr. Jeong-”

“You think he goes around committing murder only to operate on them later in his clinic? He’s a doctor, for Christ’s sake,” you shut your eyes, feeling a burning sensation in both your throat and eyes. “Please, leave. You can meet Dr. Jeong elsewhere- I’ll ask him to contact you.”

“And why are you getting so jittery?” Detective Seo asked. “Is there something you’re hiding again? Someone you’re protecting again? Or are you just protecting yourself-”

Yunho couldn’t take it anymore- he’d heard enough, and the whimper that left you made his vision dark for a moment. Rushing to the front door, he unlocked it and entered, shutting it a bit loudly to prove a point-

And saw you standing in the middle of the room, curling in on yourself, eyes weary. If hearing you sound like that wasn’t enough, having to look at you in this state was worse and he wished he had acted earlier. He didn’t know what took over him but he rushed to you and wrapped you in his arms-

And when you buried your face in his chest, relaxing instantly in his grasp, red hot anger ran through his veins as he assessed the detectives who stood awkwardly around him.

“How dare you make my girl cry?” He almost growled, wrapping his arms tighter, almost possessively around you. “What are you doing here?”

Detective Seo shook his head in disbelief and Detective Lee took the lead. “We came to talk to you about a few things- it’s very hard to reach you-”

“So you come barging into my house and bombard someone unrelated with questions and make her cry?” Yunho scoffed. “A phone call? Summoning me to the station? Or at least a search warrant, which I bet you don’t have, just like before. Shall I report you for misconduct?”

“Come on, don’t be like that,” Detective Seo finally butted in. “Y/n and I were just catching up- we’re actually acquaintances-”

You shook your head in Yunho’s grasp to let him know that you did not want to be a part of this ‘catching up’ and Yunho patted your back.

“She says otherwise,” Yunho caressed your hair. “I don’t care if you’ve met before. You’re clearly unwanted. Please, leave. You have my number, you can contact me later, but do not make the mistake of coming here again. And do not try to make contact with her again.”

Shrugging, the detectives left, Detective Lee muttering a silent apology on behalf of them both. When you heard the doors sound shut, you tried getting out of Yunho’s grasp to let him know he didn’t need to do that anymore-

But he only deepened the hug, leaning down this time to hold you better and you sighed at that. He rocked you gently back and forth, all the while caressing your head gently as if he meant to lull you to some calm space- and oh, was he successful. You were no longer crying.

Hesitantly, he broke away a bit to see if you were okay. Your eyes fluttered open, a bit red from crying and he cupped your face, wiping your tears.

“Why did you let them in, y/n?”

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s okay,” he assured you. “Did they force themselves inside?”

“Not really, but they were insisting on coming inside and waiting,” you sniffed. “Detective Seo- the older one… he knows me from when I was a kid and he started to get a bit too comfortable-”

“I know,” he told you and when you frowned in confusion, he said, “I actually heard a bit of it while I was parking.”

“A bit?”

“Most of it,” he admitted, breaking into a smile. “You did not have to defend my kitchen knives with all your might, y/n.” 

You chuckled at that. “I don’t know, I got so angry! He kept walking around and it was annoying me so much- I thought giving him tea would make him sit, but no, he had to walk around with a cup in his hand-”

Yunho shook with laughter, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re too adorable at times.”

“And… I can’t believe I’m hearing the word adorable come out of your mouth,” you looked at him in disbelief. “Who are you? And where is Dr. Jeong?”

“It’s just Yunho,” he smiled and you smiled back, spending a moment just looking at him and realising that you were still way too close, in his arms, your heart fluttering uncontrollably. 

“Well… just Yunho,” you said, your hands on his waist feeling clammy. “Thank you for coming at the right time. And thank you for… what you did.”

Yunho took a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

You pursed your lips, looking away. You could not answer that, because even if you lied to him, you would break down anyway. Detective Seo had opened the dam of unwanted, ugly memories and you were definitely not okay. You wouldn’t be for a while now-

But it looked like Yunho had made it his life’s mission to make sure you would feel okay. He brought you back in a hug and this time, you didn’t cry. You simply wrapped your arms around his waist better and listened to the sound of his heartbeat which somehow calmed you. To your surprise, he planted a kiss on the top of your head before he squeezed you in assurance.

You broke away to look at him. “What’s got you so… clingy and fluffy all of a sudden? Not that I don’t like it, but…”

Yunho tucked your hair away from your face, kissing your forehead this time and pretending he hadn’t heard that. It wasn’t the first time he got a closer look at you yet he committed everything to memory as if it was his first time seeing you. He couldn’t answer your question either, because…

He was pretty sure he had fallen for you a little when he heard you earlier. The way you never let the detectives think about him for even a second when you were being cornered with the knives- he was absolutely sure that you had not done that unintentionally. Sure, he had initially thought that if he ever got in trouble with the police, you could make a good cover, but now you had protected him on purpose. He would ask you about that, but first…

“Did you eat dinner?”

“Uh… no. I forgot.”

Yunho shook his head in disappointment. “I go away for one meal and you forget to eat.”

You pouted and he led you to the chair, making you sit. He poured a glass of water for you and after you drank it, he asked if you made something today. You told him you didn’t cook today and he sighed.

“So you only cook for me?”

“I like cooking… and I like cooking for you,” you pouted again, feeling exposed.

“But not cooking for yourself?” Yunho asked, making you look at him. “Why won’t you cook for yourself?”

You shrugged. You didn’t have an answer for that. 

“Well, I’m not a good cook, but I’ll see what I can do…” he got up and you told him he did not have to, that what he did for you tonight was enough, but he told you to shut up and opened the fridge, taking out the kimchi and then looking through the cabinets-

“Ramyeon sounds good? That’s one thing I can cook well,” he grinned.

You nodded, getting comfortable and watching him roll his sleeves before he washed his hands in the sink, drying them with the blue bunny towel and then you stopped noticing what he was doing and instead noticed the veins on his arms, the faded scar near the elbow that probably ran up his upper arm, his broad shoulders and narrow waist, the dark hair that curled at the nape of his neck-

And those beautiful, beautiful hands that were now setting the pot on the table. You blinked, coming back to reality, and thanked him for the meal. He watched you eat for a few moments before he said, “I’m sorry you had to go through what you did today. It’s my fault.”

“Yunho,” you sighed, “It’s not.”

“It is,” he shook his head. “The detectives seemed to have created some ambiguous connection between me and their recent murder case. The victim used to be my patient, so they’ve been trying to visit me for a while but I kept putting it off- I really don’t like when they visit my workplace-”

“Of course,” you nodded. “No one would like that. You don’t have to explain it to me, Yunho. You don’t have to tell me anything-”

“Forget the rules,” he clicked his tongue in annoyance. “I want to explain because you can’t just put yourself between me and the detectives. How could you try to protect me without knowing what’s going on? And don’t try to deny that you weren’t doing exactly that.”

You took a bite and thought about it while you chewed. Once you swallowed, you answered. “I’ve known Detective Seo for twenty years. I’ve known you for what? Four months? Five? Guess who I trust more out of the two.”

Yunho looked away, somewhat in disbelief but again, overwhelmed by the way his heart was fluttering and his stomach was in knots. “Even when I’ve given you nothing?”

“It’s enough- I don’t need to hear your life story to trust you,” you finished eating the noodles. “I know who you are, and that’s enough.”

Yunho sighed internally- Wooyoung had warned him of this. He had practically manifested it. He had told Yunho that the way he talked about you and the way he treated you were very different and he needed to start manning up and ignoring whatever he was feeling inside. That had been in the earlier months. And now?

You claimed you knew him. What did you know, really? The person who set strict rules and got angry when he thought you broke one of them and made you cry? The doctor who got angry at you for bringing a patient to his clinic and later thanking you because you saved her from something worse? The person who took you to the place he loved yet told you nothing about it? What did you really know-

“I know you,” you began and Yunho wondered if he had said those thoughts out loud. “You’re the person who I thought was an asshole but I trusted because you… you have the kindest eyes. Even when you almost stabbed me to death-”

“That’s on you overthinking-”

“Yeah, I’m joking,” you laughed. “But… you get what I mean. I don’t need to know who you were, I know who you are. The doctor who’s too busy to take care of himself and his space. The person who’s everyone’s favourite at the clinic. The house owner who’s actually quite funny but takes a while to open up. The friend who helps me with my work in so many more ways than he realises. And… the man who is surprisingly protective and caring.”

Yunho buried his face in his hands- he couldn’t look at you now. He couldn’t-

“I don’t know why you keep holding yourself back, but can I ask what prompted you to do whatever you did earlier? You didn’t have to hug me like that,” you drank the rest of the water in the glass, waiting but he didn’t look at you. “You didn’t have to call me ‘your girl’ and shoo them away. You can’t just do things like that and expect me to remain normal and pretend it didn’t happen the next day- because I’ve had enough too. I’ve had enough of you staring at me like I’m either someone you want to kill or someone you want to… do things to. Also, while we’re talking about that- and yes, I’m rambing, but you really need to stop touching me so casually- I hope you have a rule about that somewhere too-”

Yunho finally removed his hands from his face and locked eyes with you. When you didn’t look away, wondering if you were going to regret this, he got up, making your heart sink thinking you really had made an awful mistake this time-

And then he leaned down towards you and to your utter surprise, he pecked your lips gently- once, twice. And then he pulled away to lock eyes with your wide ones. 

“Can I take responsibility then? For my actions?”

When you nodded without realising that you had, he smiled, going around the table and sinking down to his knees. For you. You found your hands moving of their own accord, cupping his face with almost trembling hands for the first time and running a hand through his hair, finding them softer than you had imagined. You laughed in disbelief and knelt down to kiss his forehead- you didn’t have to kneel down much thanks to him being so tall. You joined your foreheads and just let that moment sink in, waiting for him to do something but it was as if he had completely submitted himself to you.

“Yunho,” you breathed, “Won’t you kiss me?”

All Yunho wanted was to obey. He tilted his head, your lips brushing and then he brought his hands to your bare knees, sending shivers through your entire being. While he caressed the skin, he pecked your lips cautiously and you almost cried at how hesitant he was. You took it upon yourself to lock your lips with his and that was all he needed to kiss you back, immediately taking lead and kissing you almost desperately as if he had waited a lifetime for this moment. You moved your lips along his, settling in a comfortable rhythm and you realised you quite liked the position-

But Yunho had other plans. He broke apart, gripping your legs in one arm and getting up, making you latch on to him with a squeal which earned a laugh from him as he settled you on the empty kitchen counter, now able to meet your eyes better. He stared at you intently for a few moments, his arms caging you between them and brought your arms to rest on his shoulders, linking them around his neck.

“I’d say something about how it took you way too long,” you kissed the tip of his nose. “But I’m afraid you’ll think I’ve always fantasised about this and leave me here and go in your cave.”

“Never again,” he promised, capturing your lips in a slow and gentle kiss. You had all the time in the world now and a morbid part of your mind wanted to thank Detective Seo for paying a visit tonight even though you despised him. Yunho swiped his tongue across your lips and you gladly opened up for him, the kiss getting heated as his tongue explored your mouth, clashing with your tongue. You couldn’t help but marvel how you both fit with each other so well. 

You didn’t know how long you made out like that. Neither did you care, but naturally, you both broke apart and shared a giggle. He opened his arms for you and you gladly hugged him- his hugs were probably your most favourite thing about life now. He laughed at how you wrapped yourself around him like a cat so that he didn’t even have to hold you, simply wrap his arms around your back as he walked to the living room but you muttered ‘my room’ and he obeyed, walking in that direction-

And halting.

“What do you want me to do? Throw you in the pool of books and make out? Might hurt a little…”

“Oh, goodness,” you twisted in his arms to see the mess that your room was in right now. “I was sorting out books because I really have no space anymore and I was going to give away some tonight-”

“But you could put them in the living room? The shelves have some space?”

You hadn’t even considered that. You looked at him. “Can I use that space?”

“I mean… you’ve taken over the whole floor anyway,” he shrugged. “What harm a few books are gonna do?”

You smacked his arm and he laughed, putting you down on the floor. “Well, I should clean my mess then. Don’t want you complaining about how unruly your housemate is.”

“I’ll help,” he insisted and you scoffed.

“There’s no space for you to set a foot-”

“Then make some.”

“Oh?” You shot him a dirty look. “No plans to leave?”

“Do you want me to leave?” He asked cockily and you shook your head, immediately shoving a few books away and making space on the rug where he settled down and pulled you down in his lap, snuggling his face in your neck.

“Tell me about these books,” he muttered, his breath caressing your neck and before you could comment on the position, he kissed your neck lazily.

Well… perhaps it was better to shut up and obey.

“They are a part of me,” you smiled, picking the nearest one and reading the title while he continued kissing and sucking at your neck. “This one I read recently. I think you’ll like it- it’s about doctors- ah.”

Yunho smiled against your neck when you squirmed in his grasp. He had been teasing your sweet spot for far too long now and finally got to hear your pretty moan. “Really? What’s it about?”

“Doctors,” you muttered, tilting your neck and he dived back in. “And the problems they face, the power dynamics- Jeong Yunho, I swear to god-”

Yunho laughed deeply against your skin, drawing away to observe the reddening spot. You tried shifting in his grasp but he held you in your position. “Tell me about another book.”

“Yeah?” You scoffed when he started peppering kisses along your shoulders. “What if I just smack you on the head with one?”

“Tsk, tsk. Already?”

You shifted in his lap successfully this time and before you could yell at him, he was kissing you on the lips again and as you melted in his hold, you tossed the book in your hand away to cup his face.

Sorting the books and cleaning the mess could definitely wait.

—-----------------------------

Though you and Yunho had crossed some obvious boundaries now, you were unsure how that would affect the rules of living in his house. You weren’t only his housemate now, so perhaps, the rules could change? 

You started wondering about that after a few days. You hadn’t made anything official yet- he was still working a lot and barely had any time for himself but whenever he got home, he would find you and wrap you in his arms while he asked you about your day. When you asked him the same, he would simply smile and say something like ‘just the usual’ or ‘busy day today’.

Nothing more. He probably recognised the look in your eyes- the look that said that you wanted more. Perhaps he ignored it on purpose. Perhaps, whenever he kissed you after, it was to make up for the lack of an answer.

If you thought about it objectively… you didn’t really mind. Work is work- what could doctors really share about their work? But you knew he wasn’t simply going to work, especially when  he sometimes came home looking like he had been running for miles or with blood on his clothes. Surely, doctors wore a gown or something while operating or handling patients. His lab coat never had blood on it, so why would he have blood on his clothes and why would he sometimes look like he got in a fight? He could definitely feel your apprehension even though you pretended to be okay about it. 

Perhaps, he liked you because you didn’t ask. That didn’t mean you weren’t curious- now more so than ever. It wasn’t like being whatever you were to him now gave you any right to probe, but you couldn’t help pay a visit to his clinic tonight and see if he was really working a night shift- he had gone out in a rush earlier muttering something about an emergency. You only went to make sure he was okay, was what you told yourself-

It was certainly not because of your growing suspicion of what he really did. Nor was it because you wanted to double-check how Detective Seo told you that Yunho’s clinic had separate staff for night shifts and he definitely didn’t need to be present every night. It definitely wasn’t because Yeosang slipped when he accidentally told you Yunho had no shift a few nights ago when Yunho himself had told you he had one. And it definitely was not how you suddenly realised one day while writing your novel that Yunho’s answers to your odd questions were a bit too specific- like when you asked him about being stabbed in a certain location with a certain weapon and he slept on it and had a rather specific answer the next day. His answers were always a bit too detailed.

You would have ignored all of it but you found yourself inside the clinic and learned from the kind lady at the reception who thought it was cute that you came to check on him that Yunho only had one night shift a week. But according to what he told you, he had night shifts five days a week. 

Just what was he doing?

You absently walked home and instead of writing, you just mindlessly cleaned the nooks and crannies in the living room, your mind too numb to think of possibilities. Perhaps, you needed to start defining things with Yunho- beginning with what your relationship was, exactly, and if it was more than housemates you both definitely needed to talk about a few things-

When you heard the door unlock, you looked at the time- it was almost 4 in the morning. You hadn’t realised how quickly time passed. Yunho entered, looking pretty much the same as he did when he left. You managed a smile and he told you he would be right back, rushing upstairs. You went to wash your hands in the meantime, wondering if you should ask him- would he be angry to learn you went out looking for him? Would he appreciate your concern, or would he shut himself away like he has always done-

“Y/n?” Yunho’s voice brought you back to your senses and you realised you had been zoning out in front of the sink, the tap still running water. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just tired,” you told him, drying your hands and going towards the kitchen to get yourself water. You needed to get a grip.

“You don’t look okay,” Yunho’s brows were furrowed in concern. “Did something happen while I was away?”

“I promise I’m fine,” you said, though you were sure your smile was still unconvincing- or maybe Yunho was just too good at looking right through you. “How was your night shift? Did you get a lot of patients tonight?”

“It was okay,” Yunho exhaled deeply. “A few. Not too busy.”

You nodded slowly. For a moment, you wondered if he was doing night shifts in a different workplace. Perhaps, he had never lied and you just hadn’t figured out that he had jobs at two different places-

“You’re staring,” Yunho commented, tilting his head in thought. You broke eye contact, scanning his clothes- as neat as when he left for ‘work’. “You didn’t meet Detective Seo, did you?”

“No, why?”

“That’s the only time I’ve seen you look like this. Come on, you’re making me worried,” Yunho took a step closer, tucking your hair behind your ear. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid,” you laughed, deciding to tackle at least one thing tonight. “You’ll make fun of me or you'll shut yourself in your cave.”

“You need to stop calling it a cave,” Yunho laughed a bit.

“Until I see it, it’s a cave to me,” you shrugged. “Who knows what you do there?”

“You want to see it?” He asked, absently caressing your cheekbone and your eyes widened.

“That… is not what I meant- I’m curious, yes, but I don’t want to invite myself up there.”

“Well,” Yunho put his hands on your shoulders. “It looks horrible right now- it’s messy and if I bring you upstairs, you’ll forget you’re tired and start cleaning the mess. Some other day?”

“Whenever is okay, it’s probably boring and plain,” you said dismissively and he nodded in satisfaction. 

“Then what is really weighing on your mind?”

“Shit, I thought you forgot about it,” you muttered but he wasn’t going to let you go. His grip on your shoulders tightened a fraction. “Look, I’m not trying to be that person and I really, really don’t mind how we are and what we are-”

“Get to the point-”

“What are we?” 

Yunho blinked. “Sorry, what?”

“What are we?” You sighed. “I love what we are. I don’t mind it one bit, but I feel like we’re still housemates and there’s still this wall between us and if that’s how things should be… I can work with that. I just… I wish there wasn’t such ambiguity- stop grinning like an idiot, will you?”

“Well,” Yunho stifled another grin. “What do you think we are?”

“I don’t know,” you pouted. “That’s what I’m asking.”

“I don’t know,” Yunho shrugged, straightening and bringing you closer so you were almost flush against him. “I don’t think we’d be doing this if we were ‘just housemates’.”

“My point exactly,” you muttered. “I’m confused. What rules still apply? Can I interfere in your personal life? Can I ask you more than I should? There’s still so much I don’t know about you and sometimes I feel like you’re miles away, Yunho.”

Yunho’s heart ached- he wanted nothing more than to bare his entire soul in front of you. He had considered that seriously over the past few days. He was pretty sure if anyone in this world would understand his reasons for what he did and still want to be with him, it would be you, but what if he was wrong about you? What if he had signed himself to an inevitable heartbreak? If so, how could he ever recover?

“I’m right here,” Yunho kissed your forehead. “You can ask me anything but can I answer at my pace?”

That was enough. You nodded and he smiled, pecking your lips. “Thank you.”

“I’ll wait for you,” you told him. “And I know you’re curious about a few things too- you can ask me anything and I’ll answer at my own pace. Okay?”

Yunho couldn’t help it- he cupped your face and kissed you, wondering how you were so perfect. How could you trust him like this? He sometimes wondered if he was dreaming- there was no way you were real. And he told you that every day, just like he did now, and just like always, you smacked his arm as you blushed.

“You should tell me something else- I’m kind of tired of hearing that,” you laughed. 

“Nothing else makes you laugh like this,” Yunho kissed you again, lingering. “You know I love it when you laugh.”

You kissed him back, forgetting all your worries and you felt the exhaustion wash away from your bones as he bent down to pick you up so he could kiss you better. You wrapped your arms around his neck and let him take you to the living room- to the couch which was probably your favourite place in this house now, where Yunho and you would spend hours with each other.

As he settled you down on the couch, he broke apart and locked eyes with you. “Well, do you still think we’re just housemates?”

“God, you really got stuck on that one, huh?” You poked his chest. “Okay. You’re what? My boyfriend?”

Yunho’s lips parted and a smile crawled on his lips. “I kind of like the sound of that.”

“Geez, have you never been in a relationship,” you teased and he laughed out loud. 

“Just not like this one, no,” he traced your lips with his thumb. “You’re… different.”

“Bet you told that to everyone before me,” you scoffed and he pecked your lips to shut you up. You smiled into the kiss, your hands wandering down his chest and stopping at his hips, snaking up his shirt on his bare skin which earned a light groan from him. You instinctively squeezed his side-

And he stopped kissing you right then. You wondered if you had done something wrong and when you drew apart, you realised he looked as if he was in pain. You frowned, your hands still there while Yunho stifled another groan and when you pressed on both his sides, he finally exhaled-

“You’re hurt, aren’t you?” You whispered, drawing his shirt up without permission and gasping when you saw a big red bruise on his right side as if he had been punched.

“Y/n,” Yunho called in warning but you weren’t having any of it anymore- you pulled his shirt up and if Yunho hadn’t been bracing himself up on either sides of you to keep himself from falling on top of you, he would have stopped you, but now you were staring at his upper body in horror and worry.

You let go of the shirt and it fell down to cover his secrets. You looked at Yunho who couldn’t meet your eyes. “Won’t you let me help you? Won’t you let me take care of you?”

Yunho simply sighed, wondering what to do, what to say. He knew this day would come eventually but he hadn’t imagined it to be like this. He let you gently push him back on the couch and without a word, you went to your room. He slumped down, rubbing his face-

Of all the days, it had to be today. Had to be tonight when he made a mistake and hurt himself. You reappeared out of your room with a medical kit and settled down next to him.

“You’re the doctor, Yunho,” you said and showed him the ointments and medicines in the kit, noticing a number of scars on his body and finally getting a good look at the scar that ran up his arm all the way to the middle of his upper arm. “Tell me how to take care of you.”

Yunho passed you a look, finding the lack of expressions on your face kind of disturbing. Just what were you thinking? He sighed and took out the ointment for the bruise- one he had in his room as well and would have used had he not been distracted by you. You nodded and took the ointment, spreading it along his bruise and gently rubbing it in. Once done, you got up and inspected the rest of his upper body.

“Are you sure that’s the only place you’re hurt?” 

“Yep,” he assured you. “You can relax now.”

You scoffed at that, putting the kit aside and folding your arms as you looked at him. “Look… If you don’t want me to, I won’t ask, but you’re not just a doctor. I’m right about that, aren’t I?”

When he didn’t respond, you understood. You were right, and he probably couldn’t say anything. “Do you trust me, Yunho?”

“Y/n, it’s not about trust-”

“Just tell me- do you trust me?”

He locked eyes with you. “Of course I do. If I didn’t… I would have kicked you out long ago, y/n, and I would have never....”

That seemed to satisfy you and when he found the faintest hint of a smile on your lips, he finally relaxed a bit. “I trust you, but there are things I cannot tell you- not right now.”

“I know,” you nodded. “You can stop lying about your night shifts- just say you’re going somewhere. I won’t ask until you tell me.”

Yunho blinked in surprise- just how long ago had you figured him out?

“Also… I would appreciate it if the next time you get hurt, you let me know instead of surprising me like this.”

“Do you… know something you’re not telling me, y/n?”

You smiled at Yunho. If he wasn’t so genuine with his words and his feelings, you would have demanded answers, but what you had with him was special in its own way. No questions asked wasn’t such a bad rule- because you knew that when he answered your questions, you would have to answer his too.

“Do I? I don’t know,” you shrugged. “But I have a feeling that you and I aren’t so different, Yunho.”

Yunho wished he could tell you who he was- his friends insisted he was not a ‘murderer’ like he would often call himself but a vigilante. A hero to most, an enemy to the others- especially the police who had been on his tail for a while now. How could you possibly be the same as him? He had killed people with his own hands, and though it could be argued that he only killed the worst of criminals, if Hongjoong hadn’t been there the night his parents were killed, he could very well be in prison for attempted murder or worse. 

All these years, as he killed one corrupted individual after another, he was convinced that he was the one who was truly corrupted inside. He was the one who needed to meet the fate that anyone who encountered him did. His friends, especially Hongjoong, were aware that there was a twisted part inside him that took joy in the simple act of killing people- people who stole from others. Stole their loved ones, their life, their hard work. You couldn’t possibly be as bad as him, could you? There was absolutely no way-

“Stop thinking so much,” you whispered, placing your hand on his and he immediately shifted so he was holding your hand, squeezing it as if he needed some assurance. “I just want you to be careful, okay? Whatever you do… stay safe, will you?”

“How can you trust me so blindly?” Yunho asked. 

“I told you, right?” You smiled. “I know who you are- at least to me. That’s enough for me.”

Yunho smiled back, burying his face in the crook of your neck and you wrapped your arm around his bare shoulders, burying your hand in his hair and caressing them gently. You let go of Yunho’s hand only to trace the long scar on his arm, wishing you could ask how he got it but you would wait. You kissed his temple and he sighed, nuzzling against you. 

“I’m afraid…” Yunho confessed in a voice so small you were wondering if you were hearing things. “I’m afraid you’ll run away when you learn who I am.”

Your heart sank at his words. He was just like you. In all your previous relationships, you made people run away from you. You could never give them what you wanted. They would find you too secretive or too accepting. Little did they know that you were only hiding your ugly past and trying your best not to let it interfere with your life. 

“You couldn’t possibly be worse than me,” you told him and that prompted him to lift his head to look at you. “I’m convinced I’m a monster. Could you love a monster, Yunho?”

Yunho took in your blank gaze as you said those words and he realised that perhaps, you were right. Perhaps, you were just like him too, with some twisted part inside you, something that had you convinced that you were a monster. 

And if that was the case… he could love you. He wanted nothing more than to love you and tell you that you made him feel human even at his worst, so he leaned forward to kiss you slowly, letting you know what he felt through the way he held your waist and brought you on top of him, through the way he held you so close to him and sighed when you wrapped your arms around his, through the way he started trailing kisses everywhere on your skin. And when you gave him more, he accepted it. If that was the last time you would ever look at him and not feel horrified, he was going to make sure he made you feel loved so he forgot about all his worries and smiled at you playfully, beyond relieved when you bit your lips in excitement.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Yunho whispered, sucking at your neck- he had a thing for that certain spot, you had realised now.

“We haven’t even begun, though,” you commented and Yunho paused, considering your words. He experimentally snaked his hand up your thigh and when you only kissed his temple in response, he understood.

An invitation.

“Shall we take this to bed, then?”

You nodded, sharing an open-mouthed kiss before he got up and started going towards your room.

If only he knew that your invitation was for the same reasons as his.

—---------------------------

For all your talk about trust, you sure were walking on the fine line that marked trust from betrayal. 

And if things hadn’t turned out the way they had been turning out for the past two weeks, you would have never been here. You scoffed internally as you took another turn into a dark alley, a safe distance behind Yunho so he wouldn’t notice your presence- anything to convince yourself that you were only doing this to make sure he would be safe. To make sure he wouldn’t hurt himself again-

Because you had a gut feeling that something was going to happen tonight, and your gut was never, ever wrong. Your gut had saved (or doomed, it could be argued) you two decades ago. You could trust yourself with that.

Though, again, that was debatable as well. Was it your gut that had you all nervous and hypervigilant or was it the growing suspicions about Yunho?

Because a few days ago, Detective Seo called you and requested that you visit the station. You would have ignored him had he not been so polite for once. Ultimately, the reason you visited him was because you wanted to clear his suspicions of you and get him off your tail- you had finally settled in this town at peace and you couldn’t have the detective ruining that. 

And also, a small part of you wanted to learn more about why he suspected Yunho. 

You discovered during your visit that you were right- your involvement in his investigation of Yunho made him suspicious of you. You learned that the reason he was so intent on having Yunho come to the station and give a proper statement was because a few of his alibis no longer held any validity- he had said something about a night shift when he had none. The detective didn’t like how the doctors and a few of the staff members around him were so uncooperative and secretive. If that wasn’t enough, the detective was still curious about the 12-inch knife in your kitchen. 

He joked about how he or his colleagues didn’t own a 12-inch meat knife at home- apparently a non-professional one was usually 7 to 10 inches long. You told him that it was irrelevant but when he mentioned how his suspect had stopped using kitchen knives a few months ago and switched to a dagger of a unique built, it had you wondering-

The detective didn’t know those knives actually belonged to Yunho, which was why he was also suspecting you now. What if you told him? What if the timing of the change of the murder weapon matched?

You only asked the detective if he really believed you were capable of wielding daggers and he shook his head in denial. You then asked if he really thought the surgeon could be a suspect in his case.

“I can’t tell you what it is, but we have substantial evidence to keep an eye on him, at least. If it’s him, he’s not alone.”

And that’s what got you thinking if you were wrong about who Yunho and his friends were. Especially when only a couple days later you went to visit them at the clinic with some fresh cookies and you got a peek at the register at reception that had a schedule of all doctors and you learned that Yunho had no night shift for the rest of the week-

Only to find him lying about it and hearing the news about the murder of a renowned politician while he was god knows where.

You didn’t ask Yunho why he lied about the night shift because he had agreed not to make up that excuse again. You casually confirmed with Wooyoung if he had really been at the clinic that night and he told you he had, but you weren’t done there. You double-checked with the young girl at reception in the clinic- she was quite a fan of your cookies and now that she knew you and Yunho were close, she willingly confirmed that Yunho had indeed not been at the clinic that night. Neither had any of his friends. 

You wished you could simply confront Yunho and ask but he was still hesitant. And really, you would have let everything be. You would have waited for him, but tonight? 

Tonight he told you he was going to the clinic to meet up with Wooyoung and give him some company during his boring night shift. Pretty believable, but your gut twisted as soon as he stepped out and you knew that you just had to make sure that he was going to the clinic. You covered yourself with a jacket and scarf, grabbed the keys and wore your shoes-

Changing your mind and going to the kitchen to grab a little something before finally stepping out. 

And that’s how you got here, one bus ride and a good walk later, deep in some abandoned part of the town following Yunho through the alleys until he stopped abruptly, making you take a few steps back and hide yourself in a corner. Strangely, Yunho seemed to be inspecting the area. What for, you didn’t know. He looked around and checked if the gate at the end of the alley was really locked. After thorough inspection which made you wonder if he was looking for someone or something, he started walking in your direction, probably to leave. You discreetly slid down and away so he would cross you without looking in your direction, and thankfully, he did. 

You sighed, wondering if tonight had been a waste in which case your guilty conscience wouldn’t let you sleep for a good few days unless you came clean to Yunho. You were just following him back because you were pretty sure you would get lost otherwise when you spotted another man at the opposite end of the street. Instinctively, you hid again and waited for the man to continue along that street and get out of your way-

Except he turned in the street in Yunho’s direction.

You made a face and decided to fall behind the two- surely the man would be on his own way soon, except there was something odd about the way he was walking-

He was walking just like you had been- short, quick and silent steps, a good distance behind Yunho to avoid encountering him. Was he following Yunho too? How did he know Yunho would be here? Had he seen you- did he know you were here? It was too dark to make out who he was.

The two turned to another street and the man kept following him even after the crossroads, confirming your suspicions that Yunho was being followed. Perhaps, Yunho had been waiting for this man when he had been looking around the alley-

A sharp glint near the man’s thigh caught your attention and with a sinking heart, you realised-

The man was wielding a weapon. Something sharp that looked an awful lot like the very knife you had hidden inside your jacket.

You froze for a few moments that you knew would cost you something. There was just too much to consider- the feeling of impending doom, the worry for Yunho’s life, the fight-or-flight response making its way to control your future actions and worst of all, the feeling that you were back where you had been when you were still a child trying to protect your father from a situation just like this.

And as the man’s pace quickened and the distance between him and Yunho got shorter, you let the child that had murdered a grown man to protect a loved one take over. Just like that night, you raised your knife in the air without realising when you actually took it out of your jacket. And just like that time, you found yourself running towards the man- this time, experienced and calculating. You would have to congratulate yourself for being so certain about what you were doing-

“Yunho, watch out!”

Though Yunho recognised your voice immediately, the fear in your voice was unfamiliar and he turned around with dread pooling in his nerves, his eyes widening as he tried to process an unfamiliar face of a man with a weapon aimed at him- way too close- and then your figure, perhaps as unfamiliar this time, running towards the man. Yunho instinctively dodged the attack and before he could react further, you collided with the man, crashing on the floor with grunts.

Every nerve in your body screamed as you both clawed at each other while trying not to hurt yourselves, getting nicked here and there and before the man could actually think and overpower you, you buried the length of your knife between his collarbones, effectively disarming him and the man’s eyes widened as he whimpered in pain-

No.

“Y/n,” Yunho almost cried as he sank down next to you, spotting the horror in your eyes and in that moment, he knew only one thing- that he couldn’t let you burden yourself with having to live with blood on your hands. He inspected the stab on the man’s neck, sucking in his breath when he realised the knife in your hand was from your kitchen- the same damned knife he had spilled blood with. The man coughed blood and your grip on the knife finally loosened as you realised just what you had done. 

While you remained frozen in your spot, Yunho realised that the man was beyond help though with the current position of the knife in his throat, he was going to bleed to death for a long while before he could let go. So Yunho made a decision and gently unwrapped your hands from the knife, squeezing them to make you look at him.

“Y/n? Are you with me?”

His voice felt miles away, drowned by the ringing in your ears and you could only blink. Yunho took a deep, shaky breath. “Do you trust me?”

You didn’t know how long you stared at him but he gently shook your shoulder, making you crawl away from the shivering body of the man. “Y/n, do you trust me?”

This time, you did hear him and you nodded slowly, still in a trance. “Yunho- save him, please-”

Yunho had his answer. He slid the knife out of the spot between his collarbones only to stab him on another spot in his neck not far from the original and you watched in horror as the man groaned once before falling limp. Yunho put a hand over the wounds as if that could possibly stop the bleeding and then he asked you to take off your scarf. You weren’t sure you heard him right but with his free hand he started to unwind the scarf from around your neck. You didn’t make any effort to help him- you simply watched him wrap your scarf around his neck to stop further bleeding-

“He’s dead,” you practically spat out. “Why do you need to stop the bleeding now?”

Yunho didn’t answer. Once his hands were free, he bent down to pick the man and started walking back to the alley, stopping when he realised you weren’t following him. He turned to look at you, eyes void of emotions. “Aren’t you going to come?”

You got up with immense struggle, looking around- why was there no one to help? Why was this abandoned area so empty in the middle of the night? You grabbed the man’s knife and started following Yunho, your hands and legs shaking uncontrollably and each step got harder to take. When you reached the spot Yunho had checked out earlier, he laid the man’s body down and you finally sank to the floor, drawing your knees to your chest and trying to breathe. You could hear him talking into the phone to someone, giving them the address. 

All you knew was that you had killed someone. Again. And this time, your father wasn’t there to protect you and take the blame. This time, you weren’t a child who needed such protection. You were an adult and you had killed-

You felt arms wrap around your figure and you finally let out a shaky sob though your eyes remained dry. Yunho rubbed your back and asked you to breathe with him, drawing away and rubbing your cold hands in his to share some warmth- though his were just as cold. You could only see the blood on your hands, on your clothes-

“Y/n, listen to me carefully,” his deep voice echoed inside you. “You didn’t kill the man, okay?”

“You’re lying,” your teeth were chattering with cold and fear now. “I killed him.”

“No,” Yunho shook his head. “You protected me. I killed him.”

“You can’t do this to me, not you too,” you finally cried. “Not you too. I killed again, and this time, I’ll take responsibility.”

Yunho took a moment to process what you had said as he scanned your figure- everything finally started to make sense though there was still so much he needed answers to. “Listen to me. You didn’t deliver the killing blow. I did. I’m the one who killed him.”

“You and I both know he would have died anyway,” you locked eyes with him and Yunho knew then that it was no use trying to convince you that you weren’t to blame. “You just made it easier for him.”

Yunho didn’t respond to that. He simply kept rubbing your hands as if that could turn back time and make things right. When you heard the sound of footsteps, you got tense and almost panicked but Yunho assured you it was just his friends and everything would be okay soon. You watched Wooyoung and Mingi assess the situation, not reacting much and numbly, you let Wooyoung accompany you to his car. You kept looking for Yunho though and Wooyoung smiled a bit despite the situation, assuring you that he would be right there. 

While on your way, Wooyoung made sure you were warm and made you eat a few bites of chocolate, telling you you would need it. You asked him how he was so calm right now- was it not his first time that something like this happened? 

“Something tells me it’s not your first time either, y/n,” he simply responded and you fell silent after that. 

You shut your eyes and let your mind wander about what was going to happen next. Sure, you felt a sense of security being around Yunho- he had done something you could never have imagined- but there was still a small part of you thinking about how this was the end for you. You were going to go to prison. Perhaps you would meet the same fate as your father. Your mother and brother would certainly be pleased to see you behind bars. You could hear their laughter and the ‘I told you so’ even now-

“Y/n?” Yunho’s gentle voice made you open your eyes. “We’re here.”

You looked at ‘here’ which was another abandoned area with dimly lit streets and a warehouse which Hongjoong was unlocking the doors of. Yunho helped you out of the car- you definitely needed that since your legs were still wobbly. You noticed that not everyone made it back and you asked him where they were.

“They’re taking a detour- they’ll be here in a few minutes.”

You nodded and followed him inside and if the circumstances would have been different, you could have appreciated how well organised the inside of the warehouse was, looking like a home with couches and games and fridge and enough space to do anything and everything. It looked like a hideout and you smiled faintly before sitting on the couch. Hongjoong brought you beer and you gladly accepted, taking a few gulps and letting Wooyoung wrap a blanket around you, letting Yunho clean the blood off your hands and spotting the cuts littering your hands and arms. Now that there was enough light, he could spot the numbness in your eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, suddenly breaking out of your trance. “Are you? Did he hurt you?”

“I’m okay,” he breathed. “Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good, I…” you looked at your scarred hands. “I’m… okay.”

“Y/n,” Yunho took your hands in his again and you met his worried eyes. “How did you know? Why did you follow me?”

“I… I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry,” you sighed and he squeezed your hands. “I’m sorry-”

“It’s alright, but I need to know what happened tonight so I can help you, okay?” Yunho said and you nodded, straightening. 

“I knew you had no night shift today- I saw in the register by chance,” you told him and he nodded. “So when you said you were going, I knew you were lying. I would have let you go, trust me, but… I had a feeling something was about to happen. Or maybe… maybe I was just too suspicious- because Detective Seo said if it was you, you weren’t alone-”

“You met Detective Seo again?” He asked, his tone still gentle but you spotted Seonghwa looking at you apprehensively. “Why?”

“He called me to the station a few days ago because he was suspicious of me- the knives,” you let out a nervous laugh and Yunho nodded, understanding. “He told me his suspect’s murder weapon and method had changed and the timing was just a bit off. He knew it couldn’t be me but we have history so he just needed to make sure.”

“Did you tell him about Yunho- or anything?” Seonghwa asked.

Yunho gently warned Seonghwa but you told him it was okay. “He doesn’t know the knives belong to Yunho and he is just suspecting him because apparently your alibis are invalid now. That’s all he’s got on you, actually.”

They all sighed in relief and you heard the doors open, the rest of them joining you and exchanging drinks. “You’re all oddly calm about all of this.”

“We’re doctors,” Yeosang commented. “We have to be calm at times like this.”

“You’re oddly calm too,” San noticed.

“That’s what I said,” Wooyoung quipped in and Yunho asked you if the boys were overwhelming you but you shook your head no. 

“Can you tell me what happened next? Why did you follow me?”

You took a deep breath. “I said Detective Seo and I have history. When I was little… about two decades ago, I… we lived in a small town, the four of us. My father was in debt and he often had to run away from gangsters and loan sharks. One day, he got cornered by one of the men and he had a gun- he looked like he was about to shoot my dad. My mom was protecting us- me and my brother, but I… I did what I could to protect him. I went to the kitchen, grabbed the first knife I saw and stabbed that man multiple times in the back.”

“Oh, y/n,” Yunho’s voice sounded pained and you heard a chorus of sucked breaths and exhales. Your hands started trembling again and Yunho squeezed them, planting a kiss to your knuckles which just made tears pool in your eyes. 

“I did that to protect him,” your voice was just as shaky as your hands now. “That man died and my father ended up taking all the blame to protect me from the police. Detective Seo was in charge of that case and he always suspected me- especially because my mother and brother started hating me for putting my dad in such a situation. He found all of it odd. So tonight… I had a feeling just like that night- like something bad was about to happen. Or maybe I’m just making up that excuse to cover the fact that I betrayed your trust and followed you to see just what you were up to-”

“No,” Yunho embraced you, planting a kiss on top of your head. “Even if you followed me because you were suspicious, you were right to do so. I shouldn’t have lied about the night shift- anyone would have suspected me after that. It just slipped- it’s my fault.”

“It’s not,” you wiped your eyes, drawing away. “I shouldn’t have followed you-”

“You saved me,” Yunho smiled at you. “Your gut feeling, your suspicions… they were right. If it weren’t for you-”

“But I killed him,” you cried. “You cannot take the blame for it now.”

Seonghwa cleared his throat. “We’ve uh… identified the man. Yunho, you might want to tell her who you really are.”

Yunho nodded, wiping your tears away. “Do you want to stay here? Or do you want to go home?”

“I think I’d like to go home… if that’s alright with you guys,” you said and the boys assured you that it was. Yunho got up and took the car keys from Seonghwa, sharing a few words with him and Wooyoung and Mingi asked you if you needed anything. You told them you were fine but you would like to be in the comfort of your own home right now and they understood.

“If Yunho bothers you too much, you can call us,” Mingi teased. “We’ll take care of him.”

“I think it’s the other way round, but thank you,” you finally laughed. “Can I ask- what will happen to that man? The body…”

“Yunho will let you know- you don’t have to worry about anything,” Wooyoung assured you and when Yunho extended his hand, you took a deep breath and took it.

You were going home, and you were finally going to learn who Yunho was.

—--------------------------

It was surreal to enter your home now, Yunho by your side and the weight of the events from the past few hours hanging over your shoulders. You both went to change first and you found yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror as you washed your face and hands. You took a few deep breaths to calm down, as best as you could manage in that moment before leaving and finding the smell of chamomile tea in the living room. Yunho motioned for you to join him on the couch and you passed a tight-lipped smile before obeying. You sipped the tea and waited for Yunho to gather his thoughts.

“When I was in high school,” Yunho finally began and you shifted towards him to watch him. “One night, a serial killer decided my parents were his next victims. He followed my mom home and killed both of them, and I… I wasn’t home- by the time I came home, he was done killing them.”

“Oh, dear,” you held Yunho’s hand. You couldn’t imagine what he must have felt. 

“I saw him leaving,” Yunho sighed deeply. “Hongjoong was with me- he witnessed everything. He tried to stop me from going after the killer but I grabbed a metal rod and went after the man. He had a knife and that’s how I got this scar,” Yunho pointed at his arm. “Hongjoong saved me that night but I lost a part of me that night. A part that was human. I became almost animalistic, trying to find the killer.”

“Did you ever find him then?” You asked.

“I did, but after he died,” Yunho slumped back on the couch. “I couldn’t get my revenge. It wasn’t long after that incident. I lost my mind and was about to become the very killer I hated. Hongjoong saved me yet again- he knew that I wouldn’t stop at anything now. I was getting into a lot of fights and basically ruining my life.”

“How did he save you then?”

“He handed me a dagger and told me to do what I must with it,” Yunho admitted. “I was shocked because usually he was the one hiding anything that could become a weapon from me. But then I realised that I was only trying to protect innocent people like my parents. I would aimlessly walk the streets and help anyone who needed it.”

“That’s… very you,” you smiled and Yunho shook his head.

“I’m not a good person, though,” he said. “Somehow, we found each other, the eight of us. We select targets- corrupt politicians, rapists, offenders… especially the people who are public figures and lead double lives. We send hints to the police so they can do their job but when they don’t… we take the matter into our own hands.” 

“Oh,” you frowned. “The politician a few days ago-”

“Not me,” Yunho shook his head. “Though he was my next target.”

“So you… kill them?”

“We only kill when someone is powerful enough to get away with all their crimes,” Yunho admitted and your heart sank dangerously- hearing it from his own mouth now, it finally started to feel real. 

“Isn’t that… okay?” You wondered. “The police can’t do anything and they would only cause further harm if they are alive.”

“Yes, but…” Yunho tucked your hair behind your ear. “I shouldn’t enjoy it so much, should I? I think I’m twisted like that, y/n. I feel no remorse.”

You looked at him- how could you tell him that you understood? That you were okay with that? He would tell you over and over again that it was wrong, because he knew that too. You knew that too, yet… 

“It’s kind of ironic then, that you all are doctors, right?” You finally said and he coughed, making you laugh a little- more in disbelief than in amusement. “So all your night shifts…?”

“We meet up at the warehouse to plan and work on new cases,” Yunho said.

“And the man that I…”

“We identified him- the boys are digging up further but we’re suspecting he’s the copycat killer.”

“The copycat killer?” You repeated in disbelief. “Copying who- oh.”

Yunho pursed his lips guiltily. “Those kitchen knives… they were murder weapons. Now you know why I got so angry when you used them to cook.”

“Oh, goodness-”

“Don’t worry, I sanitised them,” he said as if that could make things better. “When I stopped using them, someone kept murdering people with similar weapons. And not just carefully selected scum- innocent people. It was why Detective Seo suspected me at first and then let me go easily because it just didn’t match. He probably figured out that someone is copying the real killer.”

You took a deep breath. “I killed… a serial killer?”

“Yes,” Yunho held your hands, making you face him. “Do you know how badly the events of tonight could have turned out?”

“But he was going to kill you,” you said. “He had it all planned- he was waiting for you, Yunho. You could have been seriously hurt tonight- do you realise that?”

“I can’t believe you’re still worried about me,” Yunho almost cried. “Do you have any idea what went through my head when I saw you throwing yourself in the way to protect me… I thought I was going to lose you, y/n. Why did you do that?”

“I can’t lose you,” you simply said. “It felt like I was back to being that kid trying to protect my father. Why did you kill him without knowing who he was? Why did you try to take the blame, Yunho? Do you know how scared I was when you did that?” 

When Yunho didn’t respond, his eyes tearing up, you continued. “I thought it was happening all over again. You would take the blame and I would have to live with the guilt. I’ve lived with guilt for far too long, Yunho. My father… he never made it out of prison. He was never a criminal and I guess the other prisoners found out, and they… they killed him. My mother and brother never forgave me after that. Do you think I could live with something like this again?”

Yunho wiped his eyes. “I understand, y/n, I really do,” he nodded. “But you have to understand that I was scared for you tonight. You shouldn’t have done any of that- the police will find the man’s body with all his crimes soon, but even if he was someone innocent, you shouldn’t have done that-”

“I did that to protect you,” you smiled. “What’s so hard to understand about that? Just like you delivered the killing blow to protect me, yeah? Why did you do that?”

“Because I love you,” Yunho breathed. “And I couldn’t bear to see that broken look in your eyes.”

“But we’re both broken in our own ways,” the tears finally rolled down your cheeks at his confession and he laughed a little, wiping them away as he cupped your face. “Is that why you’ve been so distant? So unapproachable? You thought you were broken and no one could love you?”

When Yunho nodded, you shook your head. “Well, I might be just like you then. And I love you for who you are. I love you for the way you tried to protect me, and I love you for still loving me when I told you who I am.”

Yunho finally relaxed and laughed, bringing you in for a hug and you got in his lap, wrapping your limbs around each other. You hugged him good and tight, telling him that he didn’t have to be so guarded anymore- he could be himself with you. He kissed you and told you that you could stop being so scared as well. You found yourself content in his embrace as you both shared your pasts and concerns, assuring each other that everything would be okay and helping each other process the events of tonight, Yunho treating the various places you got nicked and patching you up. You were still scared and anxious but he was there for you, holding you even as you fell asleep.

There was no place he would rather be anyway.

—----------------------------

“The snake in the suit was cornered now. With a grim realisation, he wondered if he should have listened to the lanky cop on his case that he couldn’t even bother to remember the name of– he probably meant well when he suggested the snake be careful now. What would the snake need to be afraid of? The snake was a predator. It only needed to worry about finding prey. 

However, the predator had become the prey now, defenceless in front of the masked spider who wielded his weapon of justice- a beautifully carved dagger with a golden hilt. For the first time in his life, the snake wished it had been a gun instead so his end would have been quick. However, just like the snake had enjoyed wearing the face of justice to the public while circulating drugs to the desperate, the spider enjoyed wearing no mask when he prosecuted his targets. The spider had one purpose to serve- so why not enjoy it?

The spider leaned into the snake’s ears, holding the tip of his dagger under the snake’s chin as he whispered, “I sent you countless warnings, didn’t I? I told you what fate you would meet if you continued down this road. Prison would have been a playground for you compared to the hell I’m about to show you.”

Any ramblings of mercy went up the spider’s head- he couldn’t hear anything anymore. With a kick to the snake’s stomach, he made him sink to his knees before he swiped the dagger along his cheekbone, producing a spurt of blood. The snake let out a choked whimper and the spider cocked his head, wondering which part of his body to ruin next– hey, y/n… I’m pretty sure it’s not that deep.”

“It’s fiction, Wooyoung,” you simply winked but Wooyoung wasn’t having any of it.

“Yunho, tell me, did you really cock your head and wonder which part of him you’d like to ruin next?”

Yunho only bothered shooting Wooyoung a dirty look in between arguing with San and Jongho about a recent case they had at their clinic- something about how to perform a specific type of stitch that would be seamless. 

“What do you think, Yeosang?” Wooyoung elbowed the man next to him. “Don’t you think she’s overdoing some of it?”

“Well, what do you want me to write? ‘Yunho went and killed the politician who had been circulating drugs all around the province’. Plain and simple like that?”

“I think she writes gore to cope,” Yeosang commented. “I’ve been seeing a pattern and- wait, was I not supposed to point that out?”

You looked at Mingi for help who looked moments away from bursting into laughter. “You might want to switch your psychiatrist, y/n.”

“I think I’m good with you,” you grimaced at Yeosang who looked like a deer caught in headlights. “This one should stick to the kidney stuff instead of treating the mind.”

“You heard her,” Mingi clapped, finally bursting out laughing. “Stick to being a nephrologist.”

“I don’t even know how people can have you as their psychiatrist,” Yeosang narrowed his eyes at Mingi and you shook your head in amusement- this banter wasn’t new. “What do you tell them? This too shall pass?”

Wooyoung snorted at that while Mingi raised his finger at him, trying to come up with a retort but failing and sulk-walking to Yunho, resting his head against his shoulder. You smiled at how Yunho naturally adjusted to have both of them in a comfortable position while continuing arguing with the Chois. 

It had been a couple of months since that fateful night. You were still trying to process most of what happened that night and the boys were always there to help you with that, going above and beyond. While at first you had been apprehensive of them- rightfully so- now they were almost like family to you. You found that all of them were extremely hardworking and ambitious, but also very gentle and kind. Or perhaps, you were receiving special treatment as Yunho often joked. 

Yunho gave you all the time and space you needed to sort your thoughts out while continuing being there for you- you were amazed at how good he was with that balance. He never let you feel overwhelmed or alone. He answered all of your questions about him and he just knew when you wanted to talk about your own feelings. He would ask you what you were afraid to find the answers to and then help you navigate through the tangled web that your thoughts were. When he suggested you go to Mingi for ‘therapy sessions’, you asked him if he genuinely thought you needed therapy and if Mingi was really the right person to go considering his role in what they did.

“I mean… Mingi is sort of my therapist too,” Yunho admitted to your surprise. “One thing about him is that he understands. No matter how sick or twisted you think you may be, he understands and he guides you to your own solution to that. Surprisingly, he’s the one who helped me overcome my rage and trauma of my parents, not Hongjoong.”

That really got you thinking and when you went to your appointment with Mingi in his clinic, he asked you what role you would like him to play- a stranger and just a therapist, or who he really was. You preferred the latter and soon, you found yourself looking forward to going to those sessions. You could now talk about what happened with your father without feeling an immense sense of guilt because even though all this time you knew it was not your fault, you simply hadn’t made peace with that. Mingi also helped you realise that what they did- the ‘vigilante’ stuff- it wasn’t lawful. It might even be wrong and you needed to acknowledge and remember that.

And you did. So when Seonghwa and Hongjoong came to you with an odd proposition, you took your time thinking about it. You spent a few days away from everything, back in your hometown to visit your mother and brother and this time, you could actually talk back to them when they mocked you about going to your father’s grave when, according to them, you were his murderer. That time away helped you sort through the final knots in your mind.

And when Yunho came back home that day to the smell of a freshly cooked meal in his house, he had to take a moment for himself. He spread his arms as soon as he saw you and you crushed him in a hug, giggling like kids. You were back in his arms and that was all that mattered to him. You informing him that you agreed to Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s proposition was a bonus.

“She’s a crime-gore fiction writer, Wooyoung,” Hongjoong finally said. “You can’t expect anything less from her. Besides, the details make it look less believable, which means less people will suspect that what she writes is not wholly fictional.”

“Exactly,” you nodded. “Good one by the way, Yeosang.”

“Yeah, I was going to say that,” Hongjoong laughed. “I once went to Mingi too. He told me that exact line and that’s when I decided I didn’t really need therapy.”

“Ah, I didn’t know that,” Yeosang laughed. “No wonder he’s sulking so much.”

“He’ll be fine,” Seonghwa chuckled and you didn’t miss the adoration in his eyes as he glanced at Mingi. Seonghwa turned to you, closing your book and placing it on the table in front of him. “I think you did a great job. It’s a very engaging story and the facts are present for the wise ones if they can connect the dots. I quite like it, y/n.”

“Thank you,” you smiled. “I owe it to you both. You’re really good editors- it’s too bad you both refuse to take credit.”

“It would only raise suspicion,” Hongjoong dismissed. “You’re the writer. We’re only, uh… inspirations?”

“Inspirations,” Wooyoung repeated. “I know exactly who would be pleased to hear that. Our favourite detective.”

“I heard from a source that he spent two hours trying to convince his coworkers that what you were writing wasn’t fiction,” Hongjoong scoffed. “He’s been quite silent lately.”

“The excitement must have dulled now- it’s been weeks since this book has been out,” you said. “I think he might be starting to take pointers now. He texted me a few days ago asking which politician he should keep an eye out for next.”

“What did you say?” Yeosang asked.

“I told him the next book could be about a detective who refuses to leave a poor girl alone,” you grinned, the group bursting into a chorus of laughter. “He enjoyed that joke, actually. I think he’s warming up to me now.”

“He better not,” Yunho finally joined, putting his hands on your shoulders from behind you. “I don’t want him obsessing about what kitchen tools we use these days. Shall we go home now?”

You nodded, saying goodnight to the boys and exiting the warehouse with Yunho. A bike ride later in the chilly night, you were home and just like always, grinning as you entered- you still loved the bike rides.

“Oh, tomorrow’s Sunday,” you clapped, suddenly remembering. “We get to sleep in. What do you wanna do tonight? Movie?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Yunho pretended to think, a grin creeping up on his face as he tackled you in a back hug and swung you around once, making your laugh echo in the house. “I think I’ll skip.”

“What’s got you so mushy tonight?” You asked- Yunho was swinging you both back and forth, his cheek resting against yours.

“Nothing,” he muttered. “I just still can’t get used to the fact that you’re real.”

You chuckled at that- you knew that Yunho absolutely loved the sight of you getting along with his friends, working with them, and actually supporting them. You insisted it was because the world really needed less criminals prowling around and while Yunho agreed, he also knew that part of the reason you agreed in the first place was because of him and he told you that he sometimes couldn’t believe that you could love him despite what he did.

You only told him once that a sick part of you definitely enjoyed killing those men if that meant you got to protect your loved ones. He remembered what you said- that everyone had something ugly like that in them- they just hadn’t been desperate enough to realise it yet. And thanks to you, Yunho was discovering a new side of himself- someone passionate and gentle and human. Sure, he had been that with his friends before, but with you, it was definitely different and new.

“Says the 6 foot tall handsome doctor slash biker slash vigilante. It can’t get hotter than that,” you teased. 

“Bet you moved in because of that.”

“Maybe I did,” you teased. “Wasn’t it the best decision you made, agreeing to let me move in?”

Yunho thought about it for a few moments, humming to himself. “I could think of a few better decisions I’ve made-”

You smacked his arm, getting out of his grasp and muttering you were going to bed first and Yunho laughed loudly at your antics, following you as you walked towards the stairs and when you noticed him, you sped up, giggling when he started running after you. You barely made it to his room when he had you in his arms again and was peppering kisses all over your face.

“You didn’t let me finish,” he said. “The best decision I made was probably letting Detective  Seo rattle you out while I stood outside and listened.”

You gasped loudly. “You did all of that just to have an excuse to kiss me, didn’t you?”

“Who knows?” Yunho shrugged teasingly. “Might not have gotten a better chance.”

“Come on, say it,” you started unbuttoning his shirt. “When exactly did you fall for me?”

“Let’s see…” he thought about it while you took off his shirt and ran your hands across his toned chest, tracing all his scars like you always did. “Could have been when you scolded me about the boots and the water trail and ordered me to use the bunny towel.”

“Sheesh, you’re that easy?”

“Yeah, I’m simple like that,” Yunho muttered before drawing in to capture your lips in a slow, sensual kiss. “It’s the little things you did that made me a mess way before you defended me with all your might.”

“That was the first time you laughed,” you smiled at the memory, turning him around so you could make him sit on his bed. You got in his lap and he squeezed your thighs in appreciation. “I think you had me right there too.”

Yunho shook his head at your confession and you grinned, pushing him to make him lie down. He loved it when you did that and took your time appreciating him, kissing all his scars and massaging his scalp as you drove him a little crazy, rolling your hips on his crotch suggestively once in a while. And he let you take your time because once he took charge, once he flipped you so you were under him and let his hands run all over your body as he kissed every inch of it, and once you were skin to skin-

That’s when you were done for.

#yunho x reader #yunho angst #yunho fluff #ateez ff #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez smut #yunho smut #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #yunho fanfic #jeong yunho #jeong yunho x reader #jeong yunho angst #jeong yunho fluff

[dollfaceksj]

BDSMSBSKFNSKSNKSD A DOSE OF WHATENDKSBSKSND DND FKDNDKDNSKSMS. CLOVER IM DKS SLSNSLSNS SKS. OC IS PISSING ME OFF. WTF IS WRONG WITH U IS A PERF TITLE BC WTF IS WRONG W HER !!! WHERE TF THEM PILLS COME FROM !!!!

this was written in a hurry. didnt feel like bullet point format would fit w this chapter. its not my best work but i hope yall get the feel i was trying to convey <3 (i won’t answer asks that spoil the story! gonna wait a few days so i don’t spoil the other readers who arent active currently!)

tw: body image issues(!!!) very deeply rooted issues that majority of women n ppl go thru. u have been warned. <3

wc: 2k ish

can’t afford love | myg (m) #20

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“Why the fuck do you have a dose of birth control pills?”

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The instance the words leave his lips, your heart free falls—no, plummets—to the pit of the Earth. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. He shouldn’t have found out this way.

You can’t bring the anxious quiver in your lips to stop when your mind travels at lightning speed trying to come up with a response. An explanation. An excuse. A lie.

But nothing comes out.

There’s nothing that you can bring yourself to say.

You messed up.

Are you even sorry? Or are you Just sorry you got caught?

Your eyes mindlessly stare at the box of pills like it’s going to vanish into thin air and you desperately want to witness it.

Doesn’t happen, though. The box stares back at you like it’s mocking you. Laughing in your face whilst being in his grasp.

He says your name. Quietly. Angrily. Repeats it when you don’t respond. Sounds like his voice is inside your head yet it also sounds like it’s coming from a galaxy that is seven million light years away.

After what seems like ages—which in reality was just a few seconds—you finally find the voice in the back of your throat that seemingly abandoned you in your time of need. “It’s an old box of pills and besides, why are you snoopi–”

“The label says you bought these two days ago. I’m not fucking stupid.” The words don’t just roll off his tongue, they launch out of his mouth like a spear. Penetrates your chest. The tip of said deadly spear nudges at your heart. Pokes it a little. Maybe makes it bleed a little, you’re not too sure.

Your panicked gaze slowly shifts to meet his angry eyes after he aggressively throws the box back onto your dresser.

“And if you’re going to berate me for snooping, someone has been trying to reach you. Called you 3 times. Just went to check to make sure it wasn’t an emergency.” He steps aside and nods towards your purse, which is now lying on its side, wide open with the contents spilled out. Your phone. Lip gloss. Wallet. Tube of Vaseline. 3 q-tips. Pack of gum. Few loose pain killer capsules.

You slowly start shaking your head and take a small step back, hoping to enlarge the distance between the two of you that you had tried to close just a few moments ago. “You won’t get it, so just–”

“No,” he says as he stomps to you, wrapping his hand around your bicep to stop you in your tracks. “You’re going to stop fucking lying to me. What the hell has been going on with you? Why are you acting like this?”

You try to wiggle your arm out of his grasp but he doesn’t let you go that easily. Tightens his grip. Enough to keep you still. Doesn’t hurt, though.

“Let me go.”

“No.”

“Let me g–”

He pulls you a little closer. Not in a romantic way. In a don’t-you-move-an-inch way. “Why won’t you just talk to me? I don’t understand why you keep pushing me away.”

Swallowing is starting to feel like sandpaper scratching its way down your esophagus. “Please, just– stop.”

He shakes his head, damp black hair swinging back and forth. Water dripping off his ends onto his shoulders like shiny pearls. They drop onto the fabric of his shirt, creating tiny little polka dots that are darker than the color of his shirt. “No, I won’t stop. You’re crossing the fucking line and you know it.”

He’s got you. That much is clear.

The silence that envelops around you is so prominent. Heavy. Wraps around you. Kind of like you’re a fetus in a pregnant belly.

Heat starts rising to your nose and cheeks, enough for you to realize that you’re starting to get emotional. Doesn’t take much longer for tears to start rolling down your cheeks.

Is there any point in hiding it now?

“You’ll never understand, Yoongi.” You shake your head as you bring your hand up. Wipe your nose with the back of your hand. Sniff softly.

His chest deflates as he heavily exhales. Feline eyes soften for a moment before his brows pinch together again. “Then make me understand.” His voice is still angry. Furious. Fuming.

“Nothing’s been the same for me, don’t you get it?” you shakily murmur, finally wiggling out of Yoongi’s grasp but not bothering yourself to get rid of the proximity between you two. Somewhere there’s comfort in it. “I know I shouldn’t have got those, I fucking know. But what you don’t know is what it feels like, okay?”

“Like what fee– What the hell are you even talking about?”

You cut him off. Burst out. “I feel disgusting, okay?”

His frown deepens. Eyes never leave you. The intensity on his features keeps you glued to the floor beneath your bare feet.

Before he can even respond, you continue with your outburst. “You don’t know what it’s like to have been the it-girl, to have been looked at and craved by any- and everyone and to now look and feel like this.”

It’s the truth. Yoongi was the king of your college because he had you. You made heads turn. You made guys fight their best friends. You made girls copy your clothes and makeup.

And now, here you are. Gotten rid of a full-length mirror in your bathroom because you hated seeing yourself naked.

Silence prevails once again. Just for a few moments that feel like centuries.

His expression doesn’t change. “Like what?”

“Ugly! Fat! Disgusting! Don’t you get it? My hair fell out, I have stretchmarks and scars all over my body, my tooth fell out at one point, my boobs are saggy, I don’t feel like taking care of myself. I burst into tears whenever I even remotely look at myself.”

You continue, pointing an accusatory finger at Yoongi and press it into his chest until he winces. “And don’t you fucking get it wrong. I fucking love Jun. I would do it all over again. I love being his mother and there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, that I’d change it for. But nothing prepared me for this. I haven’t gone out, I haven’t done anything. I bring Jun to daycare and pick him up and that’s it.”

You start backing away from him. Lips still quivering and brows furrowed in hurt.

As you approach your bed, you sink down. Bury your face in your palms. Sob a little. “But then we started being intimate again and you made me feel so beautiful. So wanted. I didn’t see it coming at all. Like everything I was seeing was a lie and everything you saw was the undeniable truth.”

You take a shaky breath to continue, “I meant it when I said I wanted the baby, that was never a lie. I wouldn’t lie about that. But as we kept having sex, you just…” you sniff, “made me so addicted to the way you made me feel. Made me feel so good physically but also like I was the most beautiful woman on the planet.”

Your eyes involuntarily shift up to meet his but in the instance you do, you regret it.

He’s frowning. Black eyes staring you down. Arms crossed over his chest. Looks like his mind is racing at a million miles a minute.

You drop your head again, hurt coating your voice. “I got scared. Scared that I’d get pregnant when I was finally starting to gain some of my self esteem back. Scared that I’d have to end our arrangement and we wouldn’t have that anymore. That I wouldn’t see you anymore.” You steal another glance at him before shifting your eyes back to the floor. His face is still the same. “I decided to get birth control the day before the award ceremony. I swear, I just wanted to delay the pregnancy only by a month or two. I just wanted to feel okay for a little while longer.”

It’s quiet. Really quiet. Your vision is blurry. Makes the floor look like a pool of blood thanks to the bordeaux rug. Makes his feet look like two hazy clouds.

You hold your heart when he finally speaks up. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Ugh.

He doesn’t get it. He will never understand. Never.

“Because it’s humiliating! It’s embarrassing. I…” You exhale deeply in an attempt to compose yourself. “I’m ashamed, okay? The man that once saw me as the queen of the world has to see me come down to this? I didn’t want you to think of me as this… this pathetic, insecure woman. I didn’t want you to think ‘is this really what I once loved?’.”

The frown on his brows deepens. He kind of looks genuinely offended but still tries to keep the rest of his expression as neutral as possible. He’s failing, though.

Not possible when the line between his brows looks deeper than the Pacific Ocean. When his lips twitch like he wants to yell. When the veins in his neck look like they want to pop out of his skin.

You take a deep breath after the explanation. Hang your head down. Wipe your tears with your palms. Sniff quietly. Allow a soft sob to escape your system—which makes your frame tremble slightly.

All those days, weeks, months that you spent hating yourself. Mourning the you that once was. Mourning the Yoongi that loved you.

It all comes back to you in the form of tears. Sobs. Pain.

It’s so quiet that you hear him preparing to speak. The way his lips kiss his teeth. Clears his throat. He says your name. Once. Twice. Sighs when you don’t react.

Then he gently places your phone in your lap.

Mom

Missed call (5)

You sniff and wipe your nose clean. You clear your throat and dial her number. Hold your phone to your ear. Sigh softly before you let out a croaky, “hello?”

Yoongi turns his back to you. Sighs loudly as he runs his hands through his hair and tries to process all the information you just dumped on him.

Your mother sounds distressed on the other side of the line. “What the hell took you so long?”

“Sorry, I was in the showe–”

“Stop, stop,” your mom pauses. “You need to get to the hospital right now.”

Your heartbeat stutters in its rhythm. You shoot up from your seat right away. The back of your phone becomes slimy from the amount of sweat your palm has produced.

Goosebumps pop out of the upper layer of your skin. “What? The hospital? What happened?” The turmoil in your soul makes all of your limbs shiver.

Yoongi’s head snaps towards you. Horror is written all over his face. Lips parted in shock and body frozen in a state of panic.

“Just get here. I don’t want you to drive recklessly.”

You reach for your clothes as you tilt your head to your shoulder to keep the phone trapped as you slide your pants onto your legs. “Mom! I’m gonna drive recklessly now anyway! Tell me what happ– Oh, God. Is it Jun? Did something happen? What happ–”

Your mother cuts you off. “Stop it! Just get here.”

“Mom, I swear, you’re gonna tell me what the hell happened to Jun right no–”

A big pair of hands grab you by the shoulders and shake you out of your state of panic. At least they try to. Your eyes shift up, meeting black concerned eyes that are begging you to just listen to your mother for a moment.

The other line goes silent. Just for a few seconds.

“Jun had a seizure.”

To be continued.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

⇠ PREV. ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ NEXT ⇢

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a/n: and i hope everyone that hated on yn feels like a piece of shit����🩷

— enjoyed it? you can always show your appreciation by buying me some coffee if you want ☕︎♡

@pamzn @jknoah @ahgasegotarmy116 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @Teddytaee @pnkmyg @yoongallery @agustdswifey @purp13st4r @busanstarkoo @busanboykoo @kookssecret @p34rluv @xumyboo @jojowantstocry @minjenna @codeinebelle @Futuristiclovedreamland @rirushu @taegicity @namgihours @ultminyoongi @swinterr @butterymin @partyparty-yah @bettybloop @secfir @coffeedepressionsoup @keroppitae @manuosorioh @whoa-jo @etaerealboyv @kaiparkerwifes @luvjiminandyoongi @luvbeomkai @petalsofink @paradiseyoongies @gaby-93 @MMFranklin @llallaaa @vickyyy97 @osakis-gf @luna-astro-star @shabbamadapot @rrrapmonste-rr @jjeonjennie @yoongisducky @s3l3n0phil3 @itsmina29 @namjoonsbuspass @hoseokshobagi @laurenrodr @keshiadeija @acquiescence804 @swga-ficrecs @sato-hana02 @honsoolhour @kimseokgen @Imene1609 @joonsmagicshop @yunki-yunki-yunki

#clover’s drabble series: cal | myg #yoongi #min yoongi #bts suga #min yoongi x y/n #min yoongi x you #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #min yoongi smut #yoongi smut #min yoongi angst #yoongi angst #bts yoongi #bts smut #bts angst #bts reader #bts x reader #suga x y/n #suga x reader #suga x you #minors dni #dollfaceksj #yoongi fic #min yoongi fic #bts fic #yoongi fics #min yoongi reader #yoongi reader

[st7rnioioss]

౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆ used to be my girl, pt.1

chris sturniolo x fem!reader

warnings: teeny tiny angst, swearing, smut!!!, oral fem!receiving, p in v, kissing, NOT PROOFREAD

word count: 1.3k

a/n: hii everyoneee. i really really like this song, and like the whole story behind it. thought it would be fitting for a fic teehee.

summary: You had gotten together with Chris 10 months ago. This relationship was a two-way mirror. Chris only saw one side of the relationship, whereas you saw two. But of course, this was a one way street, so it only went downhill after you had gotten together.

GUYS I CANNTO WRITE ORAL HELP😭 sorry

౨ৎ

Gimme all your love so I can fill you up with hate

Your POV

“Chris, I think we should end this relationship. This is not working out, you know I’m looking for a future with you! I can’t believe you’re being so selfish!” I spat, heavy tears running down my already-soaked cheeks. Chris looked nowhere near bothered. His hands were in the pockets of his stupid Cherry LA sweatpants. His face fell.

“Love, I told you this when we got together. As I said, there is nothing good underneath my appearance, I warned you. It’s not my fault that you thought you could change me.” he looked frustrated, his brows furrowed.

I couldn’t believe him. He had seemed so changed after a few months of dating, but apparently he wasn’t. I gave him all my love, yet he’s filling me up with nothing but hate.

“Chris, I think you need to leave. Now.” my voice lowered and broke a couple times in that sentence. 

“Come back tomorrow and grab your things, please,” I sniffed, adjusting the strap of my tank top that had fallen off from my frustration. Chris was staring at me. He seemed surprised by what I had just told him, which made me even more mad at him. So selfish. 

After a bit of hesitation, Chris left my apartment in a heap with a small pat on my shoulder. 

Chris’s POV

With a pat on her back, I was out. 

From the beginning of this relationship, situationship may be more fitting, I knew she wanted to change me, and she was sure she could. I knew she couldn’t. No one can. But what I also know, is that she would always hold a special place in my heart. I do love her, I’m just not in for anything serious or long-term, which she has made clear a bunch of times she is.

I made my way out of her driveway. Suddenly I hated this car. Where she was once sitting, laughing at my stupid jokes, pulling me in to kiss her, going through a drive-thru, was now a heavy silence. I was shattered. It didn’t feel real. 

Time skip

I was staring at the ceiling, lying in my empty, cold, bed. I couldn’t believe I managed to fuck up this bad. I truly did love her, it was just the commitment that scared me to death. The effort you have to put into a long-term relationship.

And of course, as I’m lying here, the memories start flooding over me, and I did nothing to stop it.

Flashback, third person POV

“Chris, stop! What the fuck are you doing!” she laughed loudly, running onto the damp grass in the backyard. He giggled, trying to throw another cup of water onto her but failed miserably.

“You’re ass! At least try, Chris!” she teased, making her way to the blanket that was spread across the grass. She stumbled over a few pillows, a squeal leaving her lips as she fell over. 

He was hovering over her in no time, looking down at her as he poured the water onto her.

“Oh, that was a good one,” he laughed, leaning down between her legs on the floral blanket,

“Oh my god, you’re such a dork, Chris. I’m wearing a white shirt.” she lowered her voice and tucked a piece of drenched hair behind her ear.

“That’s the point,” he almost whispered, leaning down to capture her lips in a gentle but desperate kiss.

“I love you, Chris,” she whispered with a cheesy smile, running a hand through his wet hair.

Her smile faded as there was no response.

౨ৎ

Flashback, Chris POV

Her legs were propped up on my shoulders, head in the pillow, my hands wrapped around her thighs.

“Shh, I’ll take care of you, okay?” I mumbled, ducked my head into her pussy. She was glistening with arousal already.

“Chris please- I need you so bad,” she whimpered, bucking her hips forward, up to my face. I teasingly flicked my nose against her clit, slowly licking a stripe up her folds.

“Oh my god. Stop teasing me,” she whined, intertwining her fingers with my hair. I held her hips down, keeping her in place from escaping my grasp.

So I stopped teasing. Sticking my tongue into her, I earned a loud moan from her. I’ll never get tired of that, it’s like music to my ears.

“You gotta be quiet for me, baby. You don’t want Matt or Nick to hear, right? I promise, I’ll let you scream all you want later,” I chuckled darkly, going back to sucking on her clit gently, earning a few more, attempted muffled, moans from her, making my head spin.

“Please go faster,” she panted, tugging at my hair. She knew it made me go crazy when she did that. In return I let out a groan, making her hips grind against my face. 

Again, I slowly licked up her folds, sticking my tongue back into her pussy, purposely rubbing my nose against her sensitive clit. I tried my best not to grind my hips into the bed, but her moans alone turned me so much on.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew she was impossibly close to her orgasm.

“Turn around for me,” I murmured, standing up to take off my sweatpants and boxers. There she was, lying on the bed in front of me, her back facing me.

“Good. Tell me if you need me to stop, okay?” I said as I positioned myself behind her, grabbing her hips to position her ass up in the air.

She nodded silently, propping herself up on her elbows.

“Now, try to be quiet,” I snickered, aligning myself with her soaked pussy. Slowly, I slid into her, groaning as I bottomed out.

“Fuck, this pussy was made for me,” I whined, pulling out before thrusting back into her. A few lewd moans escaped her lips, elbows shaking as she fell face-forward into the pillows.

My hands were gripping her hips tightly, speeding up my thrusts as I felt her clench around me.

“Chris, I’m- I’m close. Please-” she moaned. My fingers found their way to her mouth, sticking two fingers in.

“You heard me. Be- be quiet,” I stuttered, keeping my fast pace, the only sounds filling the room being the squelching from her dripping pussy and the occasional quiet whimpers and moans from our both. 

“I- Chris,” she whined quietly, cum slowly covering my cock as she reached her climax. 

I didn’t stop my thrusts, in fact, I sped up. Her back arched, falling completely forward as I kept going.

“You can take it. I know you can,” I groaned, feeling my own orgasm approaching. Tightly, I gripped her hair, pulling her face up to look at herself in the mirror beside the bed. I could tell she was close again.

“I want you to look at me when you cum for a second time,” that was a lie. I wanted to look at her. Her fucked out expression made me go fucking insane.

It didn’t take me long to finish inside her.

End flashback.

Your POV, present time.

I was shattered. I really did love Chris. A lot. And now he’s gone, possibly forever. Well, not until he picks up his things from my apartment.

I had spent the rest of the afternoon on my couch, eating a shit ton of ice cream, and watching the movies me and Chris never got to finish... That’s another story.

He hadn’t texted me all day since I told him to go home. I mean it made sense, but he always texted me whenever he got home.

What if he went out? Is he hurt? Did attend a party? Is he also crying on his couch? Sleeping?

All the thoughts circling my head gave me a headache. I settled on going to sleep on the couch, trying to sleep the thoughts, and pain, away.

౨ৎ

a/n: byeee i hope this isn't ass LMAOFOO. if you couldnt tell i hate writing smut, its jujst so eughhh. i hope it was bearable

taglist: @chrissgirlsstufflsstuff @leah-loves-lilies @toriiniie @lacysturniolo @ukiyosturniolo @iluvmattyb @ratatioulle @luv4lanadelrey @emma4eva @ilovebenjamin @pettydollie (lmk if u want to be added!)

#Spotify #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo fluff #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets smut

[bluegalaxygirl]

Your first time (Zosan X reader)

I know i said i don't do NSFW stuff but i thought id give it a go and see what happens. Reader is Female. Virgin reader

Warning: NSFW, Gay, Bi, bad language.

Minors do NOT read

The three of you are so in love and everyone knows it but even with all the touching, kissing and suggestive talking the three of you haven't done it yet. You were scared to show them the scars on your back but after your first bath with them you realized that there was nothing to be ashamed of. Since then, you've been thinking a lot lately about being intimate with them but you've never had sex with one person before let alone two people, you have no idea how it will feel, what to do or how to ask. So you do what you always do, you ask for advice, normally it would be Robin you ask but Nami has way more experience in this and was more than happy to help you out. She told you what men like, how to go about things, what to wear and even helped set up a plan for that night. Nami took everyone off the ship treating them to something while you, Sanji and Zoro stayed to "Watch the ship". While Sanji was in the kitchen cleaning up and Zoro was on the deck taking a nap, you went to your shared bedroom and pulled out some sexy underwear that Nami manged to find for you. The bra is white almost see thru lance with no straps and a zip on the back. The panties where also white lace with two thin strings going around your waist. You threw on one of Zoro's over sized shirts and headed to the Kitchen. Sanji was putting dishes away when you walked in catching his attention, he had to do a double take when he realized what you were wearing "Wow love, you look amazing in Zoro's shirt" He smirked taking the cigarette out of his mouth as you came round the counter placing your lips on his. He leaned into you wrapping his arms around your butt as your hand went up and into his hair. Sanji hoisted you up onto the counter your legs wrapping around his waist keeping him close. You could already feel him getting hard as his pelvis pressed into yours. You broke the kiss to grab his cigarette and take a puff, tilting your head back and blowing it out "Your so Hot" Sanji whispers under his breath. You look back at him with a smiles pulling him closer to your face by his chin "Sanji.. I want you, I want you and Zoro right now" You whisper his eyes widening in response as you put out his cigarette. "Are you sure?" Sanji leans in placing his forehead on top of yours "Of course i'm sure. I have to warn you though... I'm a virgin" At those words you feel him get harder against you. "We'll take good care of you" Sanji kisses you with on hand behind your head and the other under your butt as he lifts you off the counter. "Lets go and get our love then" your cook carries you to the door kicking it open. Zoro's head shot up form the sudden bang only to see his two lovers together just leaving the kitchen. He couldn't help but smile at seeing you in his shirt and your legs latching around Sanji's waist "Zoro come on" You called out reaching a hand out to him. He thought you two were messing about until Sanji spoke up "Ro, baby... We're ready for you" Those words made him realize what you two wanted. He's been aching for this and doesn't want to wait any longer, He hops up and jogs over to the two of you instantly latching his lips onto Sanji's neck making the cook groan. "Come on lets go to our room" You whisper running your hand threw Zoro's hair, he looks up and kisses you before nodding and walking with you to the bedroom.

Sanji set you on the bed running his hands up your legs and under Zoro's shirt "Can i take it off my love?" he asks his eyes travailing over your legs and up your body. You don't answer just took it off for him raveling what you have on. "Gods baby... where the hell did you get that?" Zoro asks crawling onto the bed behind you and running his hands up your side and over your breasts. "It's a secret" You lean back against him realizing his shirt was off, his chest was beautiful, muscles pressing against your back as his hands grip both your breasts "mmmm, Zoro" you moan out leaning back and kissing his neck while both your hands went up and around his neck running your finger threw his hair. Sanji's lips went to your thighs lifting one of your legs over his shoulder to get better access, his kisses made their way to your panties kissing them lightly. You gasped at the feeling pulling away form Zoro's neck and looking down at Sanji "It's her first time, Ro. We better take good care of her" He states running a finger over your panties feeling the wetness you didn't even realize was there. "Really? i'm glad were your first baby" Zoro reaches under your bra cupping both your breasts in his large hands while rubbing your nipples with his thumb. The feeling catches you off guard, it felt really good and you wanted more, you wanted both of them now. Feeling your eagerness Sanji slides your pants off and pulled both of your legs over his shoulders "Relax love. Im gonna make you feel good" You watch Sanji as he kisses down your inner thigh making his way to your now available clit, he kisses it once before opening his mouth to suck on it. the feeling is like no other, a wave of pleasure flows threw your body making you moan out, you move your arm to try and cover your mouth but Zoro stops you pulling both your hands behind his head. he holds your wrists with one hand while the others went back to playing with your breasts "Don't cover it up baby, i want to hear you moan" He whispers in your ear before licking your neck and biting. You gasp and moan both men forcing pleasure threw your body. Sanji's tongue dances around your clit and into your hole while gripping your thighs to his head stopping you form moving too much. "Oh god.. It- its so good" you moan out earning a moan from both boys. Zoro unzips your bra and throws it to the side, his hand cups your breast before pulling and gripping onto your nipple "Does it feel good baby?" the swords man asks finally pulling away form your neck, you nod only managing to let out moans in response. "He's doing such a good job isn't he?" Zoro asks looking down at the cook eating you out. You feel Zoro's hips push up against your back, now feeling how hard he is, it makes you want them both in you but you don't want this to stop, a knot forms in your core the pleasure intensifying "Oh-oh god... Sanji" You call out unable to control yourself as you cum. Moving your hips back and forth as Sanji licks and sucks helping you ride out your high.

You're gasping for air as Sanji pulls away his nose, lips and chin wet with your cum, He stands up and bends over kissing Zoro, their tongues exploring each others mouths before pulling away "You both test so good" Your swords man comments laying you down on the bed. Sanji sits down next to you only for your hand to run up his leg and to his cock. You use your other hand to do the same to Zoro, even with their pants on you can feel the different between the two "I want you two. please" you say with a smile Sanji goes to take off his pants but Zoro stops him leaning down to you and kissing your lips "I have an idea if your willing?" he asks running his hands over your hips "Sanji gets your front and i get your back" The thought slightly scares you but you trust them giving him a nod in response. He pulls you up further onto the bed and then turns to Sanji unzipping his pants and helping to take them off while sanji takes off his shirt. Sanji's cock was long and thin it smacked against his stomach once his underpants were pulled down, Zoro stared at it for a while before bending down and kissing the tip. Sanji moaned slightly as Zoro wrapped his mouth around the cooks dick sucking it and rubbing it. Sanji's moans filled the room one hand grabbing onto the sword mans hair and the other grabbing you pulling you in close for a kiss. You shoved your tongue in Sanji's mouth feeling all around as the man moaned in your mouth. The situation was turning you on again and you pulled away wanting to hear more of your cooks moans. He tired to kiss you again but you stopped him wrapping your hand around his neck "Moan for me my darling. your so hot when you moan" Sanji stared at you, eye's full of love and lust as he moaned out "Y/N.. Zoro.. Feels so good. please dont s-stop" The cook struggled to say between moans "H-harder" Sanji let out grabbing your hand thats around his neck begging you to squeeze, you complied watching as his eyes rolled back in pleasure, moaning out one more time before cumming in Zoro's mouth. You removed your hand from Sanji's neck but kept an arm around him, so he didn't fall off the bed. Zoro swallowed and licked his lips looking up at the two of you "You both did such a good job." he compliments both of you.

After Sanji had calmed down enough, he moved to the middle of the bed and laid on his back. Zoro held your hips and helped you move over the top of your cook but not letting you sit down yet. "What about you?" You ask reaching behind you to place a hand on Zoro's still clothed cock. "Don't worry, this is what i want" Zoro smiles licking your neck and biting it again. He takes off his pants and underwear throwing them to the side before grabbing your hips again. "Im gonna help you on and then i'm gonna put it in ok?" he asks grabbing sanji's cock and rubbing the tip against your wet folds, you both lets out a slight moan at the sensation. After a little while of teasing Zoro slowly lowering you onto Sanji's cock. You moan out in slight pain, Sanji rubbing your hip and stomach as you go down. "Oh love your so tight" your cook moans out leaning his head back as your wet vagina squeezes his dick. Once fully on, Zoro rubs his hard cock and pressing the tip against your back "You ready for me baby?" he waits for you to nod before he bends you over Sanji who cups your face in his hands and kisses you. Zoro lines his cock up with your ass and pushes it in slowly, the pain slowly turning into pleasure as he made his way further in. You didn't manage to get a look at his dick but it felt wide stretching you out. You pulled away form Sanji's mouth looking back at Zoro who had a big smile on his face digging his fingers into your hips "Zoro, Sanji" You moan out getting both their attention. "I love you" you let out Zoro leaning over to kiss your back and Sanji kissing your neck "We love you too" both say in unison before looking at each other "I love you too" Sanji bucks his hips up making you moan out his, Zoro follows along moving together in unison, you couldn't think straight, the feeling was unlike anything you have ever felt before. Zoro's thick cock slamming in and out of your ass as Sanji's dick thrust into your wet pussy. Every time sanji would pull out its like your wetness sucked him back in. "Oh you feel so good baby" Zoro moaned out form behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the scars on your back on occasions biting them. Sanji hips bucked uncontrollably his thighs slapping against Zoro's legs as he moved them up and down. One of his hands was clutching the pillow behind his head for dear life while the other was grabbing a fist full of your hair. "Ah, ah.. pussy s-so good.. my l-love" Sanji moaned out his back arching slightly at the feeling of his dick sliding in and out of you. All you could let out were breathy moans your hands on either side of Sanji's head, your head thrown back as your hips rocked back and forth. The knot in your stomach started forming and stretching "Oh Oh, no i'm gonna" you cried out not wanting this to end "It's ok baby, just cum" Zoro groaned into your back. "Cum with us love" Sanji moaned out moving his hand off the pillow to grab your breast, tightening his grip on you. Their moves got sloppy as you were all nearing your peaks "Oh baby yes... it feels so good. Lets us cum inside" Zoro means sitting up straight to slam his hips into your ass harder. "Please my love.. please. i wanna cum in your pussy... please" Sanji moaned out gripping your hair tighter his hips moving faster and slamming into your wet hole. "Yes, yes please... i wanna know h-how it feels t-to be filled" you moan out your hands gripping the sheets as the knot gets tighter and tighter soon bursting. You loudly moan as both boys come in you, filling both holes up with their cum continuing to move until their high is over

"That was so good." Zoro sighs slowly pulling out of your ass watching his Cum drip out with him. "You did great for a first time my love" sanji comments moving your hair out of your face helping you lay down next to him your head on his chest. Zoro lays down on the other side of Sanji resting his head on the cooks shoulder taking your hand in his "We'll rest for a bit and then get a bath." Sanji kisses both your foreheads still slightly breathless. "Im glad i waited for you two" you whisper both boys smiling at you in response "I hope you only ever do this with us" Zoro says back letting go of your hand and caressing your cheek "Just us three together" Sanji whispers still trying to catch his breath "Forever" You lean up kissing his cheek then leaning over to kiss Zoro's lips

#one piece #zoro x reader #polly relationship #roronoa zoro #sanji x reader #sanji x zoro #zoro x sanji #one piece imagine #zosan #zosan x reader #one piece zosan

[miladysproblems]

Missed you

“Missed you”

A/n: so I just recently watched avatar 2 and it just fueled my obsession to 10x times hence, i have officially entered my avatar era so do make as many requests as you’d like. To the Morpheus fans, don’t worry I’ll soon post, so please do shove ideas in my brain thru the requests section.

Q/a: How’s my theme guys? 

summary: Neteyam is bruised and you fuss over him while he just adores you 

pairings : Neteyam x Omiticayan!fem!reader (aged up)

warnings: Tension, fluff, , adorable Neteyam bf, affectionate Neteyam, confessions, Neteyam is a simp, 

Neteyam was the most responsible and calm among the sully siblings. You rarely had to worry about him getting in trouble since he was the one making sure his siblings doesn't get in trouble. But this was the first time you had been so anxious and stressed and that too for Neteyam.

He had gone for his first hunt, well not first hunt but his first official hunt as the head, honestly you weren't this worried for him initially. He was so excited for his first hunt, he wouldn't stop ranting about it. It was honesty adorable to see him beam like a little child, wagging his tail and rant about it so excitedly. He had prepared for this hunt since he was literally 5, now that he had the chance to actually hunt for the first time, he was ecstatic so you really weren't worried.

But now that you were waiting for him to come back from his hunt, it was an entirely different matter. Before, his adorable ness kept you distracted from worrying about him but now you couldn't get a wink of sleep. You resisted yourself from chasing the forest down and finding his missing ass.

Now you were aggressively crushing medicinal herbs for the hunt group to return. You had been the most impatient one of all the sullys who were waiting for neteyam to come back.

Kiri headed next to you, stopping you from breaking the poor pot. Bless her heart, kiri had been beside you through it all and had tried her best to distract you from your intrusive thoughts.

"Y/n. Let's not break the pot now, we need make the herbs in them not break them." Kiri uttered softly though she was being sarcastic, she removed your hands from the pot consciously and started making the herbs instead.

"I know. I-its just that I'm worried." You admitted to her quietly.

"I know and I'm worried too but we have to be patient besides they are coming today, so let's hope for the best." Kiri smiled reassuringly to calm you down but sadly it didn't but you had to try for neteyam right?

"Ok, I'll go for a walk. Clear my head." You sighed softly, getting up from your place and walking out of the tent.

You really weren't such an anxious person instead you were the one who made Neteyam anxious for you clumsy and reckless nature which was probably why you and Lo'ak got along so well. You both shared each other's enthusiasm and curiosity for trouble. The only difference was you knew when to stop whereas Lo'ak didn't but he would mange to trick you anyways because your curiosity had no bounds. Just like right now. You grew more and more impatient but you decided to head back.

“HELP! SOMEONE HELP!” A voice yelled out followed by a groan which oddly sounded like Neteyam. No. It possibly couldn’t be......

You ran towards the voice that yelled. Each step nearing towards them.

“Y/n?”A faint voice called out as he saw you. You gasped at the sight. There he was barely standing up, leaning against Spider and the way he looked over spider looked like he was putting his entire weight on him. You could hear his faint breathing, his body was splattered with blood. You didn’t want to know if it was his blood or not.

“Spider! What Happened?” You quickly went beside spider and helped neteyam lean against the tree. Now his wounds were much clearer, he a large gash against his chest, from his abdomen to his right shoulder. 

“I d-don’t know. The humans showed up a-and I-” Spider couldn’t speak anymore, looking at Neteyam’s state. Spider was shivering of terror. Whatever he saw was definitely not good.

“Y/n.” Neteyam’s faint voice called out to you again. You looked at him to find him smiling faintly at you. He was on the verge of death and he was smiling at you. This boy was going to the end of you. You tore your eyes away from him and instructed spider to go home and inform everyone and call for help.

“ You skxaang” You muttered faintly to Neteyam as you slowly cleaned his with wound with the remaining water you had in your bag. Neteyam let out a low hiss at the contact of cold water with his wound. You looked at him worriedly before replying. 

“Don’t be a baby.” He scoffed lightly and proceeded to stare at you as you searched frantically for any herbs in you bad. You were so thankful to eywa that you had decided to your bad. You took some herbs and slowly started applying it to his wounds. Neteyam was still staring at you.

“What.” You asked him being embarrassed. You felt heat travel from your ears to your cheek. Neteyam chuckled softly at you adorableness.

“ Nothing. You’re just pretty.” He said whilst caressing your blushing cheek, admiring your beauty.

“ Neteyam! Not the time. Focus on getting better.” You lightly slapped his hand away from you which caused Neteyam to hiss. You looked at him worriedly before applying more herbs on his hand. He held your hand, stopping you from covering him with herbs, which made you look at him with question. He put your hand on his chest, near his heart. You could hear his racing heart which made you look at him in worry. As if he read your mind he replied.

“Ma y/n, I’m fine. See? My heart is beating for you. Isn’t that enough for you to know I’m fine?” Neteyam reassuringly took your hand from his heart to his lips and kissed your palm softly. 

“I was worried for you. Why were you not careful?” You glared at him as tears gathered in your eyes. He smiled at you which agitated you further. You looked away from him, snatching your hand from and  busily tore your empty bag completely so you could wrap the cloth of bag around his wound. You sat closer to him so you could wrap the cloth around him. You bent his back towards you so you could wrap the clothe behind his as well which made his head lean against your shoulder.

You started wrapping the cloth around him as he sighed softly against your collar bone and kissed you neck softly, mumbling a faint ‘sorry ma yawne’. You sighed as you finished wrapping the cloth around his wound. You put your hand against his chest, feeling his racing heart.

“ You heart is racing again Neteyam.” He chuckled softly again.

“ Because that is what you do to me ma y/n, ma Kaltxì .” He held your free hand and cupped his face with your hand. He softly, leaning against your hand. You caressed his cheek softly. His tail curled against your thigh as he leaned his forehead against yours. His heart raced more as he got closer to you and so did yours. Your anger seemed to fade away as you both just felt each other. This was all you wanted. You. Neteyam. And your racing heart beats.

‘” I missed you.” You muttered softly to him as his strong arms wrapped you. You inhaled softly, which hit you with his strong scent which reminded of how much you had missed him. You snuggled closer to his forehead, caressing his face with one hand and his wound with the other.

“ I missed you too” He replied gently, cupping your cheek with one hand and caressing it. You leaned against his left shoulder and he leaned his back against the tree, his one hand around you and the other holding you hand. And the both of stayed there embracing each other, Just you and him. 

#neteyam sully #neteyam fluff #neteyam x reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam

[faghubby]

secrets out

My name is Paul (48) I been married to a wonderful woman Mary Beth (44) for twenty years. We have two wonderful daughters 19 and 17. We both have good jobs. Live in a nice neighborhood. The average person would believe we where the typical American dream family.

Well we are, well except Beth is very much in charge. Early in our relationship Beth saw me for what I was. A beta male. She natured this I learned to embrace Beth being in control. The first time she spanked me after I had embarrassed her in front of her friends by making a stupid joke. She grew creative in punishments. Often making me wear panties so I would remember she was in charge. Or clean the house. These soon turned into everyday events. Wearing panties 24/7 and housework, cooking, laundry all became my sole responsibilities. When our daughters where born I took time off of work to care for them. Beth had always been in charge in the bedroom. She had taught me exactly how to please her. But after our oldest was born I found it difficult to forfil her needs.

Beth immediately started to seek out men who could. I of course didn't argue. She just told me she had needs. She was discreet. She included me by telling me how these men pleased her. It didn't take long for her to convince me to orally please her after they had fucked her. Then again one night when she had let one cum inside her. Feeding me my first cream pie.

As I always did I excepted my new duty of lickimg her clean after her lovers where done. Even with all this she allowed me to pretend in public that although I was attentive I was her husband and an equal partner.

That changed when she made partner of her law firm.

" I am going to need you to retire. And focus on me full time" Beth told me. The morning after as I got out of the shower. I kept myself fit for her but she didn't want me to be some muscle bound jerk. Just lean and fit. Beth ran her hand across my chest.

"I don't want you pretending to be a manly either" Beth said rubbing her hands thru my chest hair with a frown.

"Beth I take care of you" I said softly. I had never raised my voice to her.

"All this hair gone, from the nose down" she said in her tone when it was not open for discussion. She then placed a pink velvet bag on the counter.

"Then you will put this on" she told me. I knew it was a chastity cage. We had played with one a few times over the years. Then she just turned and left. I found that Beth had already sent in my resignation using my phone. As I folooked her wearing just my robe.

"Beth can we talk about this?" I asked as I helped her put on her coat.

"Tonight if you are shaved and locked when I get home we can talk" Beth replied and kissed me as I handed her her lunch.

I went back to the bathroom and googled hair removal. I found hair removal cream in Beth's cabinet along with her razors. I spent the next two hours making sure I got every hair knowing Beth would expect perfection. I waited to lock on the cage. Instead cleaning up and prepping dinner. At lunch I got a text from Beth.

/wear sexy panties for me / is all it said. She was usually home by 530 so I went and put on the cage about 430. Both the girls where home.

/ will be late my new assistant has a big cock/

Beth called when she was on her way so dinner would be hot

" Paulie, this looks delicious" Beth said her hand slid under my shirt to feel my smooth stomach. She just smiled. As I served her and the girls. After dinner I cleaned up as usual only when my chores where done did I seek Beth out.i found her sitting on our bed.

"Beth, do you have time?" I asked. She put down her phone. I closed the door. She looked at me like she had no idea what I wanted to discuss

"About the cage" I started

"Is it too big? I can find you a smaller one" she told me.

"No it fits fine" I responded. " it's just that I thought we where past locking me up" I said with my head down.

"Look at me" Beth said I lifted my head and looked straight into her eyes.

"Now tell me you aren't excited" Beth said

"Well its" I started then fell silent.

"I would like you to learn to be more femine" Beth told me.

"I don't understand" I stuttered

"Yes you do" Beth said getting annoyed. I again fell silent.

"I am not asking you to become a woman. I am saying no more playing man" Beth told me. She pulled a pink box with a bow on it from under the bed. She held it out to me. I stepped forward and took it.

"Thank you" I said

"Well open it" Beth smiled patting the bed.i sat next to her and unwrapped it. Inside was pink satin pajamas.

"Try them on" Beth told me excited.

"Beth" I whined but her face told me not to argue. I stood and stripped. Beth watched.

"You look so cute with no ugly hair" she told me. I wore a pink thong as well. Beth smiled when she saw it as well. I put on the pajamas the pants fit tight the top was a spaghetti strap that plunged low to shoe off cleavage if I had any. Then a light matching robe to wear over it.

"Come here" Beth motioned me back to bed, she pulled back the covers to reveal she was naked from the waist down. She pushed my head between her thighs. After I had made her cum she cuddled with me. Making me take the small spoon spot.

"Do you remember when we went on vacation to Puerto Rico?" Beth asked as she rubbed my satin covered ass. I knew what she was talking about a few years ago she had pegged me with a strapon every night of the vacation.

"Yes" I wimpered softly.

"I know you do" Beth giggled my dick trobbing as it tried to grow in the tight cage.

"In the bathroom I left you another present, I like you to go try it and come back in here" Beth told me. I got up. I found a jeweled butt plug and a bottle of lube. I frowned but lubed it up and worked it into my ass. Beth sometimes made me wear a plug as punishment. I came back to bed. The plug was a little bigger then what I was used to. I crawled back into bed. Beth immediately pushed against the plug.

"I like you to let your hair grow. And I will help you soften your features" Beth explained. No reason to pretend since you no longer have to work" Beth explained.

"Beth you said you didn't want me to be a woman" I reminded her

"That's right, I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about you being a man either" Beth told me. I slept with the plug in my ass and kept it in as I made her breakfast in bed.

"In my my car you will find several big bags of clothes. I removed alot of your old things. You can figure out your new wardrobe." I got up and retrieved the bags. I went thru them s Beth watched. I realized they where very gender neutral but mostly woman's clothes. Such as shirts that buttoned backwards or slacks with no pockets. There where also several sets of ladies pajamas. Along with tons of lingerie including bras and stockings.

Over the next few weeks Beth helped me figure out my new style. She added shoes and hand bags. Since I had no pockets. Every night she made me wear a plug she increased the size several times.

One night I was getting dressed for bed when Beth approached me with a big black strapon sticking out from her jeans. I didn't fight it as she bent me over the bathroom sink and fucked me with long hard strokes.

"Now that I know you have fully excepted your role. I think we can stop pretending you where ever a male. And throw the keys away" Beth told me as I moaned as she pounded my ass. Tears flowed from my eyes as the fear of never being unlocked hit me. Beth continued to fuck me with long hard strokes.

Now I wasn't male, nor was I female. I was just a beta. Beth taught me to be submissive to everyone. At first she pushed. She had me suck my friends cock. Or orally please one of her friends after a bad day. But it wasn't just sex. I found myself wanting to serve people. Often kneeling to remove visitors to our home shoes. First time I tried to do this to my father in law he freaked. BUT soon would tell to rub his feet as he sat in the recliner. I sucked my mother in laws feet once after Beth told her how much she loved it. It turned my mother in law on so much she took her husband to the bedroom. Beth often allowed our friends to use me however they wished. My old best friend would invite me over to clean his apartment as he played video games.

Beth gave me free range to run the house how ever i wished, but also encouraged me to except how i felt. If I felt girlie to wear a dress. If I felt manly to dress more manly. Even though my manly clothes weren't really manly. And I always wore panties although sometimes it was a sexy thong while other days pink boy shorts.

Our daughter's stopped calling me Dad. It just didn't fit. Instead I was just Paulie. And although I treated them like princess waiting on them hand and foot. They excepted me and often asked my advice on outfits or boys.

Beth even took vacations without me choosing to take a man with her. I was a sexless sissy. When we remodeled the house she even had them make me a small adjoining room so she could have me close but also privacy if she wished. I had no desire to sleep with a man. But did find myself attracted to their form as well as women. I know I will never be unlocked ever again. And I don't feel I want to be it feels li,e a distant memory.

[justalildumpling]

⇢ just for you

pairing: best friend!chenle x reader genre: fluff word count: 628 warnings: jokes about murder, food?? note: going thru sad boi hours and i love chenle. chenle makes me less sad

“If we’re still single in ten years, let’s get married.” 

You and Chenle were sprawled across the rug on your living room floor, munching on the bags of snacks he had brought from his trip to the Asian grocers. Chenle’s focus which was once set on the movie playing on screen quickly averted to your figure, nonchalantly adjusting your position on the couch, shrimp chips in hand.

“That’s a stupid idea,” He replied, rolling his eyes at you.

“Why?” You sat back up whining, “We basically live with each other, know everything about each other and I wouldn’t mind if you were the one to kill me in my sleep so what’s the problem?”

Chenle snorted, shuffling back to reach into your bag of chips before placing a couple in his mouth, softly chewing on the savoury goodness. 

“Why do I have to wait ten years to marry you when we could just do it now?”

The hand that held your precious snacks halted mid-air, your head turning to face your best friend’s innocent eyes. 

You weren’t exactly sure how you were meant to interpret his response, was he finally done with the dating field? Was this his way of telling you that no one was ever going to love you? Or was it-

“Don’t tell me that you didn’t realise that I had a crush on you until now,” Chenle interrupted your thoughts, sending you a pointed look from below.

You sat in silence, blinking every so often at Chenle who now sat crouching on the floor, cackling at your obliviousness to his feelings. Though only laughter overwhelmed his current state, there remained a state of what seemed like disappointment. Maybe disappointment with your lack of response or maybe disappointment of what felt like a silent rejection of his confession, which — was not true at all.

You and Chenle met in the second grade when your homeroom teacher had seated the two of you together for an art project. You were a relatively shy child, opting to quietly pick up your paintbrush and sketch out a design on your own whilst Chenle sat with his arms crossed, clearly unimpressed with this arrangement.

“You don’t have cooties do you?” He grumbled, peering over at your poor attempts at drawing a field of flowers.

You merely shook your head as you pushed a small brush to his side of the desk, gesturing for him to join you. You remember him giving you that skeptical look, the same one he holds at you now for a few seconds before sighing and picking up the brush, scooting his chair closer to yours.

“Fine, only because you look like a flower.”

Badump went your heart.

Your feelings only grew as the years went by, with you pathetically waiting for a sign of reciprocation. It wasn’t like Chenle was actively talking to you about other girls, in fact — he just didn’t seem interested in anyone, period.

Throughout the course of your schooling journey, you and Chenle did everything together. From being each other’s prom dates to going to each other’s respective sporting games, with no signs of romantic affection from him — it was only fair to assume that nobody had caught his eye yet, until now.

With Chenle’s infectious laughter bubbling in the background, you quietly spoke, “What about the ring?”

Chenle paused, whipping his head back around to face your cautious gaze. 

“Well, if we’re gonna get married, then I want a ring,” You mustered out, holding your hand out to him.

Chenle glanced down at your outstretched hand in awe, eyes widening at your unexpected response before letting out a short giggle.

“Just you wait Y/N. I’ll get you the prettiest ring in the world, just for you.”

taglist: @polarisjisung @wooyoung-a @w3bqrl @ficrecnctskz @rv7hsua @n0hyuck @neosdaisy @baekhyunstruly @rum-gone-why @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @produmads @shwizhies @dearlyminhyung @barbkh8450t @cupid-yuno

#chenle x reader #chenle imagines #nct dream x reader #nct x reader #kflixnet #chenle scenarios #chenle drabble #chenle angst #chenle fluff #chenle x you #nct dream x you #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream drabble #nct x you #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct drabble #chenle fanfic #chenle oneshot #nct dream oneshot #nct oneshot #nct dream #nct #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #nct angst #nct fluff #nct chenle #nct dream chenle

[snickerdoodlles]

emberfaye replied to your post "choose violence ask game except its just me complaining about fic tropes..."

☕☕☕☕

am going to do my absolute BEST not to ramble too much here, but okay so!! 4 Chay things that will have me back-flipping out of a fic at the speed of light:

babyfication of Chay

i just. ugh. ugh. he is not a baby. he's a 17-18yo guy who half-raised himself due to some shit circumstances and took care of himself entirely by himself for minimum several months. the only difference between him and an adult is that he's not making his own income. Porsche and Arthee doing their best to give Chay as much of a childhood as they can afford him still doesn't change the fact that Chay grew up young and fast just like the rest of this cast. if he acts uwu innocent baby i'm gone. if the author calls him an uwu baby in their notes i'm gone. ugh.

being weird about Chay's or Barcode's age, specifically in regards to sex

as above, i'm pretty shirty about people babying him in general, but fandom is plain weird about Chay having sex. esp him and Kim having sex. 1. their age gap is not that big, and their circumstances have left them on pretty equal footing re the growing up too fast thing. 2. please assess why you think 18 fixes whatever your concerns are with 17yos having sex. 3. teens have sex. dunno what tf was happening with the rest of you but i knew kids even young as junior high who were already fucking. sure, i thought they were fucking idiots for it, but my concerns about people having sex young are rooted in the fact that sex is an inherently very vulnerable act and that's a lot to put yourself thru emotionally during the age range when everything's a wild emotional cocktail. but like. teens still do it. teens are gonna experiment with adult things and sometimes that means experimenting with sex. i personally might not think it's a good idea, but something not being a good idea doesn't inherently make it a bad one either. please stop being weird about it thanks.

calling Chay "bambi"

i just really don't like it. part of it's related to the babyfication thing, but mostly it's just one of those silly things my brain went nOPE on and oh well. back click. 😂

mischaracterizing Chay's anger

so like. this one is tricky because a lot of it comes down to personal interpretation of canon, but also like. a lot of my mischaracterization gripes involves people writing tropes or drama anger instead of Chay's anger, so. yeah. 😂 a lot of people default to writing explosive anger because it's easier to write, but in canon Chay is just. so completely not explosive. and it's not because he's bottling up anger (which!! even if he was, suddenly exploding due to pressure isn't a good thing, gah).

a lot of Chay's personality stems from Needing To Be Okay. a lot of Chay's personal motivations are trying to help Porsche with his burdens and when Porsche won't let him take on extra responsibilities, Chay does what he can to not add to Porsche's plate. and part of not being a burden is quietly dealing with his anger and resentments on his own time. (another factor playing into that is Porsche and Chay really only have each other-- Porsche deals with his anger very quietly too, and it's very characteristic of how they really don't want to hurt each other because they don't have many other people they care about, so they remove themselves from tense/bad situations best they can to reflect on their anger and return to talk about it after they've calmed down.)

Chay is fierce in his anger, but he withdraws when he's pissed and he always tries to talk it out with the intention of achieving clarity. and if i don't feel like a story's going to handle Chay's resentment/anger in a way that feels true to how it was shown in canon (there's a few litmus tests but mostly i'm going by vibes), i just click out because i already know any plot conflict won't feel fully or properly resolved to me in the end :/

[ send a ☕, get a bitchy* fic opinion ]

*personal opinion, I'm not going to be mean

#laughing at myself a bit because i definitely overthought this one #but it was fun lol #<33 #kinnporsche #tea asks #<- btws friends please lmk if i need to change that tag into something more specific/easier to block???

[ninigummysmile]

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐲 - 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐨

Summary: Your girlfriend needs to stop the car to relieve some of the desire she’s feeling for you

Jisoo x Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Warning: This story contains +18 content. It is not the responsibility of the author if minors read it.

Important: English is not my first language so, please, forgive me if there are any mistakes

Words: 1.257

Early in the morning the sun shines brightly, giving you the certainty that your family's country house will be great for hiking and entering the lake, which normally has very cold water.

You've taken this road trip many times before, but it's your first time with your girlfriend. Since you were a little girl, you memorized some parts of the landscape and every time you do the route, you check to see if everything is still the same despite the several years that have passed.

When you and Jisoo go on car trips to nearby cities, you already have a road map that you like to follow. You go from the drive-thru to breakfast in the car as you watch the sun get higher and higher as the hours pass, put on your travel playlist (something that when you first went traveling, Jisoo insisted that you make a special playlist to cheer yourself up in the car until you reach your destination), you make small talk and many times you take a nap, even though you say you're going to keep your girlfriend company.

At the moment you just enjoy the traffic-free road, you hum along with the background music as you wait for the next question she's going to ask you.

“Okay, what about that dice game?” you have the intimacy to talk about anything and even if in the beginning you were shy of some subjects, nowadays it is something very natural.

“What dice game?” you have an idea what she's talking about, but you need to make sure it's what you’re thinking.

“The one where you have two dice. One for a body part and one for an action”

“Like, kiss on the boobs?”

“Yeah, like that” she laughs at your example.

“You want to buy? I’ve heard of it, I think it would be cool if we tried it”

“Do you think you would be able to come just from that?”

“I don't know” you shrug. “But I'm sure it must be pretty exciting. Better than the last card game we bought”

“Hey, don't talk like it's my fault” she defends herself. “You were the one who insisted we buy and didn’t have the patience to follow the rules”

“It's because it was too complex! An erotic card game shouldn't have so many rules, the only objective is to feel pleasure and the only thing I wanted to do was lie down and sleep” you laugh.

“Alright” the subject seems closed all of a sudden, until her words escape her mouth without a second thought. “Now I need to buy these damn dice because the image of us playing while you're in that red lingerie won't get out of my head”

“The red one, your favorite… I even think it's the one I'm wearing right now” you smirk.

“Don't do that, baby” she swallows a moan. “I need to focus on the road”

“I didn't do anything, you're the one who gets wet with your own dirty thoughts”

“Because you are the one who induces these thoughts” she replies, taking one of her hands off the steering wheel and placing it on your thigh.

“No way, both hands on the wheel, Jisoo”

“I'm multitasking, I can drive and touch you at the same time” her eyes don't leave the road.

“What kind of touch do you mean?”

“And I'm the one with dirty thoughts, huh?”

“Always with the answer on the tip of the tongue” you mutter and roll your eyes.

“Unbutton your shorts for me, love”

“Are you serious?”

“I will stop at the next exit, but until then I need to prepare you”

“Fuck” your curse is camouflaged by the buttons and the material sliding down your legs.

“Don't take your panties off,” she warns. “Like I said, the red one is my favorite”

She moves her hands up as she massages your thigh and tucks the lacy fabric to the side.

“Hmm” the sound comes from the back of her throat as she feels your wetness.

She collects your discharge to lubricate your clit and makes small circles on it. You sigh and spread your legs to give her more space.

Her finger teases your entrance and enters you at once, she groans low in surprise at the ease with which you swallowed her.

She likes to take her time appreciating every detail of you, whereas you're impatient and like to feel overwhelmed with pleasure and this leads you to move your hips in search of more friction. The second finger is added and your loud moans begin to mix with the music that plays low on the radio.

One of your hands grips the seat belt as if your life depended on it and an avalanche of intense pleasure rushes through you. When you open your eyes, the car pulls to a stop on a small dirt road and is parked near a thicket.

“Back seat, my love” she instructs as she wipes her fingers with her mouth.

With wobbly legs, you take off your seat belt and sit in the back seat, while she sits next to you, you remove your blouse and panties, wanting to give her the satisfaction of your breasts covered by the red material.

She takes off all her clothes and pulls out a double dildo from a backpack that's on the floor in the backseat.

She lays down with her back on one of the doors and you do the same on the other. Lubricating one end in her wetness, she inserts it and is momentarily gasped for breath.

“Come here, angel. Let me help you” she calls you with her voice full of desire and slowly inserts the other end inside you.

You stand still to enjoy the feeling of the dildo tearing you apart from the inside. She moves her hips and moans escape your mouths.

With her head thrown back, she grabs her breasts and says “Baby, I need you to move too. Your pussy is so tight that the fucking fake dick barely moves inside you”

You whimper aloud as much from the pleasure as from Jisoo's uttered words, you know it won't last long and you'll come again quickly.

Your girlfriend pulls you closer and you practically scream when you feel the material seem to touch your stomach. You're lost, dizzy in the oncoming climax, but you can hear her ask between moans “Are you going to come with me?” you nod fervently. “Yeah?” you nod again “So rub that pretty clit of yours for me” she begs doing the same to her own sex.

You are a mess. Sweat pouring from your foreheads, moans being screamed inside the hot car and liquid oozing from both sides of the dildo as you come together, moaning each other's name incessantly.

Your heartbeat finally slows and you hiss as she takes the dildo out of you.

“We better go because we have at least an hour to get there”

“I don't know if I'm able to drive with my legs now, they feel like Jello” she notes with a smile.

“Take your time, love” you kiss her temple. “In the meantime, I'm going to get ready for my nap, enjoy that you made me tired” you laugh in her face and put your clothes back on.

“You're lucky that I love you” she says even though she knew before leaving home that you were going to sleep whether you were tired or not, breaking the promise to keep her company.

#kim jisoo #Jisoo #kpop smut #blackpink #jisoo smut #blackpink smut #ninigummysmilesmut #jisoo x reader

[adriancatrin]

Best Zukka fic recs and/or Azula centric fics (bonus points for both!) I'm desperate for more content.

(digging thru my bookmarks) hoo boy ok let's see

i'm gonna put a cut because this might be long!! idk what all of the zukka 'classics' you've read so i just included 'em if they're my faves. list is in no particular order, pls heed warnings/tags on AO3 as some include potentially triggering content ~

like the sun inside of you by ofherlionheart: Zuko is sixteen years old when he’s handed a crown, a throne, and a hundred-year ancestral legacy of colonial imperialism. He’s not scared of the work; he’s scared of being consumed by the responsibilities and burdens he’s claimed. What Zuko doesn’t quite realize, yet, is that he’s not alone in this. Still in progress, one chapter left to go. Very slow-burn Zukka, and some great Azula stuff

To Cleave These Roots We've Made by Erisenyo: Sokka and Zuko have been roommates and best friends through college and graduation, through first jobs and new jobs and promotions, through friends getting married and sisters being pregnant and everything in between. But that all ends in four days. Four days to pack up an apartment. Four days before Zuko goes to law school and Sokka stays behind. Four days to untangle two lives that Sokka and Zuko have spent ten years weaving together. Can you call it a divorce, if you were never actually together in the first place? I don't remember Azula's involvement in this, but gosh darn it's a good one

i won't stumble as i follow down this path (cause words that are spoken are just other things to have) by jublis: It takes Zuko one year to visit his sister again. Featuring birthday weeks, struggling with your own goodness, and a future. Pretty sure this is a Zukki, ft. Azula very heavily

Destiny in the details by salytierra: Sokka heard that story before. Of course he did, the turning point of Zuko's destiny, the single bravest and most noble (or stupid) thing he's ever done. He retold the thoughts that went through his head back then, the repercussions... but he left out a single detail. And it's that detail that changes everything.  I need to see his soulmark. Sokka thinks, heart hammering in his chest. Fantastic post-canon soulmate AU. Azula's not in it, though

Divine Intervention by AggressiveStress: Sokka has had a lot of dates but they never stick around and he doesn’t know why. Literally everyone else knows why. Honestly I don't remember much about this one I just know I really liked it hahaha

Maybe I Don't Want Heaven by inkfingers_mcgee: Zuko does not realize that he wants to break up with Mai until she says, “We need to talk about us,” with an unmistakable finality, and the candles around his meditation mat don’t even flicker. // Five years after ascending the throne, Zuko reaches yet another crossroads of self. Sokka helps him through it. Mai incites national legislative reform. Azula is listed as a character in this one but I don't remember her role. The fic is great though. slow burn in case u haven't caught onto the trend of my fave fics yet haha

Of Tea and Turtle Ducks (and the Turtle Duck Guy) by Erisenyo: Sokka is nothing if not enthusiastic about his interests--Learning. Campus traditions. The campus turtle ducks. The guy who's watching the ducks so intently this year.  Zuko is nothing if not intense about duck watching. (It's not really about the ducks.) (Is it ever?) No Azula again but gosh darn it this fic is so cute. (expect more erisenyo on this list whoops)

this ultraviolet morning light by GallifreyanFairytale: sokka and zuko break up, make up, go undercover, thwart a rebellion, watch the sunrise, and change the course of fire nation history. not necessarily in that order. I don't remember the level of Azula's involvement in this fic, but I do remember she's in recovery and Zuko thinks about her a fair amount.

Empty Bodies, Empty Smiles by attackfish: Zuko sorts through the wreckage of his childhood and comes across a doll given to his sister. Not a shipping fic, just a character study of sorts of Azula as a child. It's... very sad, but incredibly nuanced in its understanding of her as a very unhappy and unfortunately disturbed child

Will We Last the Night by CSHfic/VSfic: Chief Arnook never assigns Sokka to protect Princess Yue, so he goes to fight the Fire Nation with the other men. When the moon dies, and the ocean spirit takes its revenge, Sokka is caught standing on the deck of a Fire Nation ship. Sokka should have drowned… and he would have drowned, if not for a certain Fire Nation raft fleeing the North Pole. An enemies-to-lovers season 2 rewrite, where Sokka is separated from the gaang during the Siege of the North, and travels the Earth Kingdom with Zuko instead Azula is just S2 Azula w/o redemption I believe, but my goodness the Zukka is just so. SO sweet

Burning Bright by Erisenyo: On a particularly hopeless night, Zuko sends out a messenger hawk to nowhere. He didn’t realize that his messenger hawk is deeply committed to completing the job. And that Sokka happens to be traveling straight through nowhere, at the time. I'm currently rereading this series for the umpteenth time, it's amazing, highly recommend, Azula is hyper intriguing in it too w/ a very complicated relationship with Zuko

All's Fair by Lovely_Elbow_Leech: Book one ends with two major diffrences: 1. Sokka went on the mission with Hahn (it did not go well) 2. Zhao survives the North Pole and that proves unfortunate for everybody (except Zhao, obviously)  Imprisoned on Zhao’s war ship, Sokka and Zuko have to work together to survive. They are not very enthusiastic about this prospect.  And they argue. A lot. Another of my top faves. Book 2 is in progress

Real Slow by surveycorpsjean: “I see.” Zuko closes the scroll. “Is the Water Tribe sending a replacement?" “Uh yeah,” Sokka gestures to himself dramatically. “You’re looking at him.” No Azula I believe but heckin' slow burn

this is a gift (it comes with a price) by WitchofEndor: There is a ghost on the Wani. But the crew have grown used to - even fond of - Prince Zuko. And no matter how many times General Iroh tries to gently explain the boy’s predicament, tries to suggest that he might attempt to move on, Prince Zuko can always be found watching the sea. There is a prisoner in the palace. Not Zukka, but the relationships in it are fantastic, including Azula and Zuko.

 While Mighty Oaks Do Fall by WitchofEndor: The newly-crowned Fire Lord Ozai offers his firstborn son to service in the temple. This turns out to be a catastrophic mistake. Wacky crazy fic. There's something funky fresh happening with Azula, but it's an in-progress fic so. who knows where it'll go

I probably don't need to include The Art of Burning but it's in my fave bookmarks so. Same for Blue

Also in retrospect I have a lot of issues with this fic, but here's my post-canon Zukka w/ Azula redemption fic: New Heights

#hope this helps! #being part of the atla fandom is the first time i've ever bookmarked fics on ao3 so. unfortunately i forget a lot and lose fics:( #but! here are several for ya #beesofnotredame #asks #fic recs #zukka fic rec

[redhead1180]

Wdym s1 and s2 JJ wouldn't have gotten with Kie? Genuinely asking

Ok, let me say, I know this is just a show and the writers will do what they want. This may go long

I am gonna try and make sure this sounds coherent, @acooltalebouquet and I literally just had a deep dive into this.. First off I know there was the comment from JJ about trying the door but it's locked. I don't think JJ was trying for a girlfriend when he said that, just laid. Probably why Kie shot him down. All throughout S1 we find out JJ has a lot of trauma from his home life, this is a big reason in my opinion, and the fact that S1 JJ was always calling Kie out on her having money.

All she did was yell at him and made him feel bad in both seasons. I don't think she ever understood him. She definitely didn't understand the Pogue life. She had money, decent parents (don't get me started on them), and got to do what she wanted though that starts to change in s2. Technically a kook in Pogue clothing. Most of her problems stemmed from her, but she blamed everyone else.

Dipping into JJ's trauma, someone who has been that traumatized is not going to get over it quickly. He is not going to say I love you quickly, he has never heard it or said to anyone, gentle touches are going to be foreign to him. Those not sexual in nature, sex is different, it's an escape. The person is going to have be gentle, patient, and understanding. Not sure Kie can be those things. I know he and Kie have been friends awhile, but she literally showed no romantic interest in him. Like I said usually yelling at him, so his trauma would automatically reject her I love you. He wouldn't believe it. The scene at the anniversary party would be his response for a long time, before he said I love you back if he did.

I personally feel Kie liked John B, played it off, then got with Pope cause he liked her and it was easy, then went with JJ cause he was the last option. I mean girl went thru ALL the boys who were supposed to be her best friends. I mean early JJ would have been like hold up, wait, first it was John B, then Pope, and now me. Yea I don't think so. I also think when he called her a kook in s3, he meant it, but hated hurting her feelings.

Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk 😁 I know there is other reasons I am missing, but this touches the main ones.

#anon #anon ask #jj maybank #kiara carerra #jiara

[balkanradfem]

So I’ve been starting to swim in the cold river in order to deal with muscle tension, anxiety and chronic pain. Being submerged into very cold water helps with muscle tension, I read up on it and found out that some athletes will go and take a cold bath to fight their muscle pain.

I also saw other women living in nature doing it, they were all northern and used to cold living conditions, but I figured that me, living in a southern area, would be cool with it just as well. All my friends disagreed and we even made bets on whether I’d get sick. I never did.

The primary concern is that when you enter a cold river, your body goes thru a ‘cold shock’, and is likely to cramp your limbs and then you could drown. I learned that in order to fight that response, you have to take very big, deep breaths and your body will un-clench and you’ll be able to move. It takes a few moments but it prevents any kind of cramping or panic in cold water.

Now if you’re wondering why would one want to enter a cold water for no good reason, it’s like, the absolute best feeling ever. I don’t have anything else to compare it to, the more I do it, the more I love it. After a few seconds the water does not seem cold, it feels exhilarating, the adrenaline hits your body so hard, moving around in the water feels freeing and healing, after you get out, you feel heated and your body is radiating with warm. All muscle pain goes away, and for the next hour, you feel absolutely relaxed, limp, as if you’re not mentally ill or in chronic pain at all. It never fails me no matter how many time I do it.

I had a very weird morning today, I woke up after several intense nightmares, and couldn’t get up for a while. After I did, I just grabbed a few plants and without thinking went to the garden to calm down. Having fingers in soil and observing my baby plants helped, but then I also thought, well now it would be a good time to go inside the river, and it would settle at least 60% of my symptoms. I was still very upset, dysregulated, in pain.

But, I haven’t thought that far when I took off, I only took my plants with me, I haven’t taken my swimming trunks or my undershirt that I usually use for swimming. So my only option would be to swim just in my underwear and shirt, but then again I only had one shirt. I was trying to figure out a way as I got to my usual swimming spot, next to the field, and I peeked if anyone was there. Nothing and no one. Sometimes, there would be a person on the other side of the river, but that didn’t concern me as much, as that person is most certainly not going to swim up to me to bother me, when the water is so cold.

The air was clear, so I figured I could do it. I stripped all the way to my underwear and went swimming. It felt incredible, like I was doing something extremely natural and normal. Yet, I felt a bit bothered by the idea that if someone saw me, it would have been considered indecent, or obscene, or even inviting a sexual assault. When I got out and got dressed safely in the cover of the shrubs and trees, I started feeling the weight of living in a world where this isn’t normally available or safe for us to do. We’re discouraged from just entering the river naked, even in secluded places, not because it’s undesirable, but because it’s unsafe. Isn’t that ridiculous that we shouldn’t do something so harmless and pleasurable just because the predators might take it as an excuse to harm us?

I’m now upset that I have to wait until separatism before I can just do this safely whenever I want to. I don’t feel exactly safe doing it in my trunks and undershirt either, and make sure nobody is nearby who could come close to me. But it’s unfair. I should get to live in a world where all activities in nature are safe for me to do.

#cold shock #swimming in cold #storytime #swimming #river #coping with chronic pain #relaxing #the cold water helped #but i'm still very bummed about my nightmares #and about males existing when i just wanna have a good time

[your-fave-adopted-you]

Ummm, I had a request in twisted wonderland could you make like a father figure guardian that gives gender neutral yuu hug or a pat on the head (any fatherly affection) and yuu’s so overwhelmed with happiness that yuu breaks down? It’s just that yuu didn’t have the best relationship with their dad and they never ever received any physical affections. Not that their dad was abusive physically or mentally but he never was really there and when he was he treated them sorta poorly because he didn’t know how to raise a kid. Or like he sorta put them thru a lotta dysphoria and they never felt comfortable enough around him to actually touch him. Haha if you could it’d make me very happy but if not that’s fine too!! Love your fics, have a good day! :)

This sorta feels like a pt.2 of my previous MC with a shitty father fic, but it's nice to have this approach too, not everyone with daddy issues was necessary abused so!

Guardian! School staff + MC that didn't get enough affection from their father back at home

Characters : Crowley, Crewel, Trein, Ashton

Gn pronouns were used.

TW : none

Context : From time to time, as you got more used to your new home (not sure if you can return to your previous one) you couldn't help but mentally compare your new guardian to your actual father.

A feeling of both relief and sadness washed over you the more you thought about it.

Do other people really grow with parents like your guardian? Not feeling uncomfortable around them? Not having to earn every bit of affection?

Dire Crowley

This man is the embodiment of "Where's my hug at?" but in the most dad way possible.

Especially if it's embarrassing for you in front of your friends.

he always hugs you goodbye when you're already heading to Ramshackle,

sometimes as he glares at your friends if he suspects any of them to have a crush on you.

i mean, he's not overly affectionate, but he's an eccentric, proud dad, and he HAS to show it.

You're used to this by now but you won't ever forget the first time he hugged you.

it had been several months since you arrived, and you were frustrated because Crowley didn't seem to care enough to bring you back home, even when he was so eager to be your guardian.

it didn't help that your classmates could always be in contact with their families and friends and you didn't even know how people you knew back at home felt about how you literally disappeared.

you were so mad.

you refused to attend your first morning class, Instead you went straight to his office.

and there he was, doing anything but research a way to send you back. As always.

that very day you were so homesick, and so fed up with his bullshit behavior that you lashed out at him.

As you were listing all the things that you missed from home, whether they were big, small, few, or many

You started to get more and more upset by the moment, and his response was to get up and

hug you????

you were shouting at him, angry as ever, and he had the nerve to do that??

nah but that sure made you shut up in an instant, in fact, as your eyes started to water you just hugged him back.

ok let's be honest it's most likely that he did that not knowing what else to do.

But there was a tiny part of you that only wanted that to happen whenever you were upset.

and that part of you wasn't new...

But it was just now, in this moment, that this piece of you, deemed insignificant, was finally heard.

and of course you started bawling like a baby right after. Happy, angry, sad, confused...

from that day on Crowley at least pretended to be trying to find your way back home.

Divus Crewel

it was the first time you got the max. score at one of his exams.

You figured that, that subject in particular was very similar to chemistry, so at least you weren't starting from scratch.

after two failed exams, you started to usually pass with the lowest grades but-

today you finally did it!!

and he was. SO PROUD

He's not that expressive or affectionate but he walked over at your desk to pat your head.

"Well done pup. i knew you could do this."

okay so

there was so much going on.

you were proven (by yourself) that you could actually keep up with your magic-user classmates and your new dad just told you how proud he was of your work!!

you were so happy-

so why were you crying?

but thinking about it, it actually made a lot of sense...

when Crewel noticed he freaked out a little bit. He just patted your head right???? he didn't hit you THAT hard.

when he asked if you were okay tho the answer wasn't so clear.

You were so happy right now, but so sad, because as you stared down at your score, you realized how much you've needed this kind of reassurance all your life.

it's not like you hated your dad from your og.world but... Any kind praise, any tender words... dude. even a hug felt like to much to ask.

So you figured that if you didn't have any of that you just had to try harder and prove you were worthy of it, right?

but, back at home, not even being the top student, most athletic, or most talented child would have been enough even if you tried.

you knew that by now.

but-

You just got a good score on a stupid piece of paper, right? and Crewel appreciated that...

wiping your (not so noticeable) tears, you smiled at him. "I'm okay now."

Mozus Trein

this man is about as affectionate as Crewel.

History teachers, am i right?

they will get mad at you for not remembering the blood type of the king's dog who died 400 years before people figured out that earth is not the center of the universe.

Mr.Trein could be ruthless if he found out that you made up your answer for the EASIEST question of the exam.

Even if he was your guardian, you felt really stressed by this, since you didn't even know the basic history of that world.

No. Especially because he was your guardian, you were scared for your life of failing.

Today, you did.

You really tried to study as hard as you could, but shit just wouldn't stop happening around you.

"the leech brothers" this, "Rook-" that "Kalim has set the kitchen on fire again" "PLEASE Y/N, WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM FROM JAMIL" and so on.

you didn't have the privilege of remembering even the most obvious answers because of legends, pieces of fiction, or conspiracies,

because you simply were never exposed to this information before.

He was so scary even when he didn't even look mad...

Anyways, he told you to look for him after class.

you were so prepared for the absolute worst omg.

and when you two met he only gave you... more homework?

"Look, you clearly need to put more effort on this so let me help you."

man that's a lot of homework. like, a ridiculous amount-

but you were expecting him to be furious at you for failing, and you actually told him about that.

"y/n, most of this is just reviewing in class what your classmates have been learning since middle school, of course, not as detailed but- it's not your fault that it's harder for you to remember all of it."

as he said this he put a hand on your shoulder, and spoke with the most patient tone ever.

"But you have to hand this over next week. Alright? I'm sure it'll help."

You were smiling widely without even noticing. Ignoring that tiny bit of sadness that echoed from the back of your mind.

"What's the matter?"

oh, nothing, just the fact that a man that you only have known for months is showing more care for you that your actual father.

no big deal.

as you looked down you said it was nothing, and thanked him for the extra homework (😭🖐️)

next time you're aiming for a full mark, let's see if that's enough excuse to get a hug!

Ashton Vargas

Nah be careful around this man.

he's definitely a hugger but the kind that'll break your ribs and swing you in the air.

okay so at first he wasn't very sure if you were okay with um, affection in general?

(this actually happened with the rest of the guardians like, you would NEVER initiate a hug. you were very formal the first few weeks so it was hard to tell even if you wanted any people around 😭)

But after a match between some first and second years, you celebrated your friends victory by, yk, hugging them real tight! (even if they were stinky af)

so, your guardian (NEW, AWESOME DAD) took good notes of that.

look, i don't care if you're athletic or not. learning to fly on a fucking broom seems hard enough.

now add the stress of it being a race!

yup! poor normie human fighting for your life 6ft above the ground.

but somehow ????you got second place???? lmao

and damn he was PROUD

he even ignored the actual winner

okay but listen it would be SO FUNNY if the winner was Jamil.

he went straight at you-

and LIFTED YOU IN THE AIR!!!

btw, yes, that's the sound of your bones cracking.

then someone points out you're crying a little-

okay maybe it's partially his fault but.

just before he put you down you hugged him back.

let's be clear, you were overwhelmed, yes, but like in a good way for once?

as suffocating as it was, it was the best hug ever, and you knew full well that you wouldn't have got that at home.

strange as it is... from this moment it felt more like home here, than your actual world.

#twst x mc #twst x reader #dire crowley #divus crewel #mozus trein #ashton vargas

[faghubby]

So much more

"Paul, do you like it?" She asked walking out of the bedroom in new sexy lingerie. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She wore a black set. The panties rode high as the thong drove deep in between her ass cheeks.while the lace bra so delicate allowed him to see her nipples thru it.

"You look amazing" I said. Before I could even move she added

"Good I am sure Tyrone will love it" she told me.

"Right" I mumbled.

"Don't be like that, your mom bought it for me" she laughed. "She is happy I found someone to satisfy me." I knew she was telling the truth. My mom loved me but also knew I was always submissive ever since I was a boy.

"Your mom said she made up your old room for the night so I can have alone time" Kelly told me.

"Kelly can't we" I started.

"I ask for one night alone and what you complain, I mean if you could satisfy at all. I would be happy to" she started bitching at me.

"I am sorry, baby you are right I will go pack a bag" I said interrupting her. She just smiled

"Thank you, sweety. I am sorry I yelled. I just need to get laid. And he is so much more" she said kissing me on the cheek. I packed a bag and went to my mother's

"Paulie, I am so glad Kelly found herself a lover, I get to see you more" she said kissing me hello.

"Mom, do you have to encourage her" I whined.

"Paulie, don't start, I am not surprised your father had a small dick and could never satisfy me either." My mother said as she set dinner on the table. I did miss mom's cooking I thought. As we ate my mom continued.

"So this Tyrone, have you seen his cock?" My mother smiled.

"No, I met him once when we went to that club" I told her."

"Sorry Paulie no more talk of Tyrone, I am just jealous of Kelly is all. It's been a long time since I had a black man"

I hadn't know my father. My mother had dated even married two other men while I grew up. But she had never been faithful to any of them. I had spent my teen years laying in bed listening to my mother moan and scream in pleasure.

"So grandchildren?" my mother asked as if this was a way of changing the subject.

"Mommy" I whined

"She doesn't let you inside her anymore does she?" My mother patted my hand.

"No, she plays with it for me" I told her.

"That's sweet of her, have that special cuddle time" my mother said making me feel better about it.

"Well Kelly can still give me grandchildren" she told me. I was a bit confused

"They will be yours even if you didn't father them" my mother explained. I helped her do the dished.

"Its good to show Kelly how all the other ways you can help her. Like doing the dishes, you know taking on more responsibility around the house." My mother explained " Husband's have more duties then that in the bedroom"

We spent the rest of night watching TV and folding my mother's laundry. She taught me how to fold things correctly. She took great care in showing me how to fold her intimate things. I finally decided to head to bed, my room had not changed since I had moved out. I put on my Pajamas and was in bed when my mother knocked.

"Came to tuck you in" she kissed me on the cheek. " I haven't changed a thing since you moved out" she told me. "That includes" she reached under the corner of the mattress and pulled out an old pair of her panties. I had taken years ago.

"Just in case you want to change" she said dropping them on my chest as she left. Ten minutes later I get a text from Kelly saying goodnight she includes a pic of her on her knees sucking a huge black cock. I can't take it and I reach inside my pj's and play with my 4 inch dick. I tale mom's old panties and rub myself with them. I work myself up even more. I get up and take off my pj's. And slide the panties on.

I lay on bed and rub myself. Until I cum in them. I fall asleep.

In the morning my mother wakes me.

"Come on making pancakes" she says.

"Be right there" I tell her. I rush to the bathroom and strip of the panties tossing them in the hamper. I come out in myPj's. As I eating my mother comes in annoyed.

"You can't just throw panties like these in the hamper. They need to be hand washed" my mother says dropping the panties in my lap.

I am totally embarrassed .

"Come I will show you how" she says pulling me to the laundry room. She shows me how to hand wash delicates. Grabbing one of her bras and stockings as well. She talks about stains. From blood. Even dried cum.

"This is a wonderful way to show Kelly you truly except her having lovers" my mother tells me. After I shower and get dressed heading home. After Kelly texted my mom saying Tyrone had left.

My mother gives me the panties as I am packing. She just puts them in my bag. With a big smile.

"I want to show you something" my mother said. She took me into her room. She pulled out a big black dildo.

"Mom, I dont"

"Just listen, I spoke to Kelly. This is how big Tyrone is. She handed me the toy. I held it in my hand. It seemed inhuman. It was 10 inches long and so thick I could close my hand around it.

"When you see Kelly remember this is what she needs" she kissed my forhead I just stood there and held the toy for a moment. Before I put it away and headed home.

Kelly was still in bed when I got home. I noticed her clothes thrown around the room.i started to pick them up. I found the lingerie she had showed me. I took it and went to hand wash them leaving Kelly in bed.

Kelly comes up behind me as I am cleaning her panties.

"How I am spoiled." Her hand wrapping around me. "Come cuddle with me." I stop and turn to follow her she is naked. As she goes to get in the bed I notice her pussy is red and swollen. She showed me on purpose I realize when she paused so I could see.

I go to get in bed.

"No fair you have clothes on" she pouts I stripped and climb in I smell him, his cologne his sweat. Kelly cuddles against ne her butt against my no hard dick. As she turns on the TV. She just aimlessly flips thru channels finally stopping on an old sitcom.

"Your mother told me everything" she said "would you like to wear my panties whenever I meet with Tyrone" she rubs her ass against my dick. I don't do anything.

"You don't like this position" Kelly says." I understand it's okay I can be the Alpha in this marriage. You would rather fall into another role wouldn't you? She spun around she was behind me now. As she held me she rubbed my nipples.

"I will make the money, support the family, be the male type figure you never had. "You can take care of the house, raise the children"

"You won't have to worry about failing to please me either. My pussy is so sore. Will you kissing for me" she said I moved down and she spread her legs. I kiss her gently. She pulls me back up to the position. And teases me more.

"Tyrone is coming back tonight, so I already talked to your mom she is expecting you for dinner" Kelly had me shower with her. As she got dressed she pulled out a pink baby doll nightie and matching panties. And gave them to me.

"Something to wear to bed tonight" she smiled. I was still rock hard as I stood there naked. Kelly grabbed a tape measure.

"You always say 4 inches" she smiled. "That's what I thought" Kelly giggled. I looked down. "3 and 1/2and less then 3/4 inch thick" she says

"If you can go a whole week without playing with it, I will give you a blowjob, would you like that" she teased. That was 3 months ago, I have yet to go more then three days without coming.

We are going to have a wonderful life together.

[missvelvetsstuff]

Cold Hearted

Steve Rogers x Reader, Steve Rogers x Sharon Carter, Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff, Bucky x Reader X Natasha(past) Reader x ????

Chapter 7

Warnings: swearing, angst, SMUT SMUT SMUT NO ONE UNDER 18, threesome, fmf

SERIOUSLY SMUT! You've BEEN WARNED.

Notes: I like how this came out. I'm bisexual and don't see enough fmf in mcu fanfiction, it's always mfm which is cool, been there but I love the contrast and softness with women. It's been awhile since I've been with a woman so I hope it is realistic. I just hope it doesn't suck. Let me know what you think but if it sucks please be gentle.

After the meeting with Gen Ross, things settled down to a strange calm. Steve submitted his resignation, effective in 30 days so he had time to settle whatever he was working on. He wasn't really working on anything but Gen Ross allowed it so Steve could save face like he wasn't being forced out. Steve and Sharon spent most of their time preparing the brownstone in Brooklyn that was bought for them but slept at the compound while the work was being done.

Of course Tony was planning a retirement party for Steve, 40s themed and not too big which for Tony meant less than 100 guests. Another empty gesture to help Steve save face. The team would be fine if Steve just left, not particularly caring about Steve's image but agreed to go along with it.

Two weeks later BB was feeling sad and out of sorts. She knew why when she looked at her calendar when she woke up this morning.

Today was supposed to be her wedding day. Instead it was a regular day with training and meals with the team. She begged off of training, needing a mental health day. Bucky was working with recruits so BB and Nat spent the day cuddling in bed, watching the cheesiest horror movies they could find and ordered food so BB didn't have to face anyone.

BB had her head on Nats breasts and had to hold herself back from playing with them thru the T shirt Nat was wearing. She wanted to mouth at Nats nipples, she was always so sensitive and tasted so good. BB could smell Nats pussy and her mouth was watering, her heart started racing and she picked her head up to look at Nat. She was so beautiful with her hair down and no make up.

BB leaned towards Nat "Sweet Natalia, is this ok? Can I kiss you? Can I taste you?

Nat nodded and BB could see the want in her eyes. BB kissed her softly, Nat moaned and in response BB slid her tongue into Nats mouth and moaned at her taste. "Natalia" she panted "I need you, please let me make you feel good."

Nat nodded and BB started kissing her way down Nats torso making sure to pay special attention to her nipples, suckling and nibbling until Nat arched off of the bed in need. BB giggled and continued her slow descent.

Bucky was sweaty and exhausted after training and decided to take a shower in the locker room before he went home to his girls. His girls, he liked the sound of that. Nat and him had been gently courting BB, not wanting her to feel any pressure, and BB had been spending most of her spare time in their room, including nights. They were all sleeping better for it.

He entered their quarters and noticed all but one light was off. 'It's too early for Nat to go to bed' he thought. Then he heard something, a breathy moan, and grinned wickedly.

"Natalia" he sang out "Are you playing with your toys? You know you are supposed to wait for me. I'll have to punish you" he could smell her arousal all through the suite, toys don't usually get her this worked up.

"You better shut that toy off and take it away from my pussy before I-" he stopped at the bedroom door and groaned, mouth open and cock already half hard. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Gorgeous" he whispered.

Spread out on his bed was Nat, hair mussed, eyes hooded, shirt pushed up over her breasts which were covered with little bite marks. BB had her face buried between Nats legs, bare ass up in the air, thighs wet with her slick and her pussy dripping onto the bed. He just stood there for a minute, not wanting to interrupt the moment but dying to join in. They were so wrapped up in each other they didn't hear him come in.

He could hear Nats breathing quicken and her legs shaking and was torn between watching her cum all over BBs face or stopping them and edging her for starting without him. He chose the former figuring it had been many years and they both deserved the release. He pulled his fully hard and throbbing cock out of his pants and started slowly stroking it to the rhythm of BBs fingers fucking into Nats drenched pussy. BB moaned and Nat was done, she screamed as she covered BBs face and tits with her release.

Bucky quickly stripped then approached the bed holding his cock in his vibranium hand. He grabbed BBs hair with his flesh hand, pulling her up to face him. Her eyes were glazed and she had a small grin on her face.

"BB!"

"Yes Sargeant."

"How many times did you make Natalia cum?"

"Only 3 Sir"

"Can I join you?"

BB smiled "Yes Sir"

Bucky pulled her towards him and gave her a sloppy wet kiss, moaning because he could taste Nat on BBs tongue. When he was done he pushed her face back into Nats pussy and started rubbing her ass, giving it a couple of hard slaps making BB squeal. He groaned when he reached BBs slit. She was drenched.

"Is that all for me BB or is it from eating Natalias sweet cunt?"

BB nodded and moaned, having already brought Nat to the edge of an orgasm, then pulled away. Nat groaned at the loss until she realized Bucky had joined them and they both waited for him to tell them what he wanted.

"BB, I'm going to fuck this pretty pussy and you will keep eating Nats pussy. You have to make her keep cumming until I do. At least three more. Ok?"

BB moaned out "Yes Sir"

Bucky ran his painfully hard cock along her slit, covering himself in her slick and bumping into her swollen clit repeatedly. He brought his fingers up to his mouth and groaned at BBs taste.

BB dove back into Nats pussy, licking her clit, tongue flat and making sure to catch the sweetness that drooled out of her hole that was twitching with a need to be filled. She slid two fingers into Nat and growled when Bucky started slowly sliding into her, the stretch intense but so welcome. Bucky yelped when he was fully seeded inside her, enjoying the tight, wet, heat of her. He stilled for a moment to let her get used to him.

"Jesus BB, I could cum right now and fill you up. You feel so good, so tight and wet. I've missed you BB, missed this sweet pussy. We both have. Fuck doll. I don't know how long I'll last this time."

Nat just groaned and babbled, long past the point of making sense just enjoying BBs hot tongue devouring her as she felt another orgasm building.

"BB!"

"Yes Sargeant?" She mumbled into Nats pussy.

"Is Natalia going to cum again?"

BB moaned "Yes Sir"

"Fuck her harder, add another finger"

BB complied and Nat whined "Please BB, I, I c can't"

Bucky tutted at her "You will take what you are given Natalia. Now cum for me, shower BB."

"BB, don't you dare waste a drop of her precious cum. Drink her down"

BB nodded and hummed which sent Nat over the edge again. BB groaned and licked up every drop.

Bucky started slowly fucking into BB, feeling every spot, pulling almost all the way out them slamming back into her. Going faster and harder with every thrust.

"I think this pussy missed me too BB, she keeps sucking me back in, grabbing my cock like she doesn't want to let go. I can feel she wants to cum but you have to wait."

BB groaned and fought to hold it in.

"You can do it BB, taking me so well and making Natalia feel so good. You are our missing piece and we'll never let you go again. Mine!" he slapped her ass "Ours!" he slapped the other cheek.

BB was struggling to keep from cumming, she was right there but didn't want to disappoint her Jamie, especially after all this time, she wanted to be his good girl.

Bucky knew it, could feel her body wind up "such a good girl, BB. So fucking good" Bucky threw his head back and thrust harder, deeper in places no one, not even Steve had been able to touch. She squealed and sucked harder on Nats clit until Nat came again squirting all over BB and soaking the bed.

Bucky praised them both "That's my good girls, my beautiful, perfect girls. Fuck you feel so good, I love you both so much." He reached around to rub BBs clit with his vibranium hand

"Cum for me BB" he growled "I'm cumming BB, drench my cock. I need to feel you milking me. Let go BB I've got you"

She felt the coil tighten until it snapped and she screamed into Nats pussy, pushing her over the edge too. Bucky grabbed her hips and slammed into her as deep as he could go and filled her until his cum was leaking out around his cock.

"Fuck! Yes! BB milking my cock, so good"

He pulled out slowly, still hard, and moved BB so she was lying on her back.

He gently grabbed Nats chin and kissed her deep and hard "You ok, baby? I hope you know we aren't even close to done. I need you to clean up my mess, see how it's dripping out of BBs pussy? Don't let any go to waste."

Nat smiled "Of course, my two favorite flavors" and Bucky helped her sit up and she leaned in to lick Bucky's cum out of BBs soaked cunt, making sure to go over her swollen clit. Bucky slapped her ass "Take good care of our BB"

Bucky moved towards BBs head, leaned down to kiss her, she moaned into his mouth as Nat brought her close to cumming again.

"Don't cum yet BB, you need to clean up your mess. I need to feel that mouth wrapped around my cock"

BB opened wide and he slowly slid into her mouth until he hit the back of her throat. "Fuck, this mouth is almost as good as your pussy BB. Right Natalia?"

Nat moaned in agreement and slid two fingers into BB, suckling on her clit until she could feel BB was ready to cum. BB started whining, looking up at Bucky through her lashes and he almost came again but held it back. He started roughly fucking her face.

"You need to cum BB? I want you to cum all over Natalia. Show her how good she makes you feel baby. Let go."

BBs orgasm hit her from out of nowhere and she shook and whimpered while she soaked Nat.

"Good girl, such a good girl BB. I'm gonna cum now and you better swallow it all like a good girl. Fuck! Fuck! Jesus!" he shouted and came down her throat.

All three collapsed in a pile, taking a moment to breathe and get a drink of water before they continued.

BB sat up "Alright Sargeant, now it's your turn. Lay down flat on your back. Natalia, go sit on his face" they both obliged, loving how the dynamic between the three of them could change a number of times during one session. Bucky loved to be in control but sometimes he got just as turned on being controlled. He would only ever submit with Nat and BB because he knew he could trust them completely and they would never hurt him. At least not in a bad way.

Nat hovered above Bucky's face, pussy dripping on him and he groaned "What have I told you about hovering Natalia?" He smacked her ass with his vibranium hand and pulled her down so he was almost drowning in her. What a way to go.

BB just watched for a minute until Bucky was completely lost devouring Nat then carefully straddled him and grabbed his cock to line up with her slit. She slowly slid down until he was filling her up and he groaned, bucking up into her.

BB sat down on him hard and pinched his thigh "I didn't tell you to move. Stay still Sargeant and take what I give you or you don't get to cum." She ground against him rubbing her clit on his pubic bone, rolling her hips and whining at the feeling.

"Are you my good boy Jamie? Making us feel so good. Does he feel good Natalia?"

Nat moaned and smiled at BB. Besides the physical pleasure this felt so right, so perfect. She leaned forward and kissed BB, hot and dirty, her tongue licking at the roof of BBs mouth which still tasted like her.

Bucky was eating her so well, finding all of her spots and she felt ready to explode "Fuck! BB he's so good. Please can I cum"

When he heard that Bucky intensified his efforts, desperate to taste her cum, to feel her twitching and throbbing on his tongue.

BB pinched Nats nipples "Cum Natalia. Give him everything" and that's all it took. Nat squirted on Bucky's face and he slurped up every last drop. Nat almost fell off of him, legs turned to Jello and trying to catch her breath.

BB slowly rode Bucky sliding up and down his cock, swiveling her hips until she was close to cumming again.

"Jamie baby, you ready to fill me up again? I can feel your cock throbbing and twitching, so hard. Fuck baby, I'm gonna cum again. Cum with me Jamie, please baby, I need it so bad" and they both fell over the edge.

The three of them just laid spread out on the bed catching their breath until Bucky got up and went to the bathroom to grab a towel to clean them up. When he went back into the bedroom he saw that BB and Nat had moved a bit so they were touching, this time Nat had her head on BBs breasts.

Bucky stopped to stare at his perfect girls, he would do anything for both of these women who had stolen his heart back when he thought it was dead, when they all lived in Hell and only had each other for comfort. He gently cleaned them both up and sat against the headboard, satisfied and content but always up for more of his girls.

At dinner that night the trio's absence was noticed. Especially by Steve, he remembered what today was supposed to be, everyone did but they all danced around it and no one had dared mention it to BB.

Sam and Tony were exchanging sly looks and grinning, having assumed correctly that the missing trio were too wrapped up in each other to put on clothes and be sociable.

Sam slipped Tony a $20 "thought they would take longer to get nasty" he shrugged.

Wanda smiled a wry smile "They all wanted it but were hesitant due to recent events."

Sharon scoffed "What's with the speaking in code? Where is everyone? Kinda quiet tonite."

Steve sighed.

Wanda gave her a dirty look. "Nothing to concern yourself with. Won't you two be moving soon?" And turned to talk to Tony, tuning out Sharon.

After ordering food and eating enough for a small army Bucky, Nat and BB slept better than any of them had in ages, finally feeling like they found home.

@vicmc624

Chapter 8

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x sharon carter #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes x natasha romanoff #bucky x nat x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #natasha romanoff x reader #cold hearted