#i wanted to post this wednesday but i ended up forgetting and then yesterday wasn't a great day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pbandjesse · 7 months

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Today was a pretty great day. Like it was calm for the most part. And I got stuff done. It wasn't like exciting but it was nice.

After I finish my post last night James would come home within the hour. I think it took them longer because the Orioles did win. And it was very exciting. When they got back with Brandon they were so happy and they squeezed me and it was great. I was so happy for them. And we stayed up for a while just talking and they explain some stuff about baseball to me and then we went to sleep.

And it wasn't bad sleep. I just had very active dreams and I woke up a little confused. But that was fine. I woke up with my alarm and James was there and I told him I could not get up yet I felt so tired. And so it reset my alarm for 8:00 and tried to fall back asleep but I struggled. I at least laid there and dozed and felt a little bit better when I got up at 8:00.

I got cleaned up and got dressed and I left the house pretty quickly. I decided I would stop at McDonald's and get pancakes for breakfast. Which were fine. I was just a craving I had and I thought that they would be nice. And I was correct. Even though I was in line for a pretty long time. The drive-thru was just pretty slow today.

It was a nice day. A little chillier than I was expecting but I had my sweatshirt with me. I got to camp at 9:00 and I felt like I was pretty productive overall. I spent the first hour working on resetting my fibers boxes and cleaning up that space. And as I was finishing that Heather texted me so I was like oh I guess everyone's here now. So I went back down to the office and checked in. I was asked to design a poster and some graphics for our MWEE program. So I would spend the next like two and a half hours working on that. I had a lot of fun doing the poster. And we had some issues with the colors printing correctly. My oranges were coming up very red. But I think we got a good handle on it by the end. And I was just having a really good time listening to music and working on my computer. And I insisted on showing Joe and Lou in my poster design and Joe said that I obviously missed my calling but I told him I went to art school so we're actually using my degree properly. I thought that was funny. He also teased me for my handwriting though when he saw it on a piece of paper so you win some, you lose some.

I spent a really long time working on the MWEE graphics. We have these staffs that each group gets and I just think they are so ugly. Like they're falling apart for one and the signs just don't look good so I thought they would look better as flags and I spent a really long time designing the medallions and flags that I wanted to be on the staffs and then I had to repaint them which took me basically through the end of the day. I did take a little break in the middle but I'm not very good at taking breaks at camp right now. Like it's just kind of taking breaks randomly rather than one chunk. And I wasn't hungry because the pancakes were a lot of bread so I just went up to the art building and worked on all of my stuff up there.

I would have to bounce back and forth from the office to the art building a few times because I kept forgetting things or needing to print something differently. I even got to print on construction paper today which was new for me. But now I know how to do it so I can do it later without any help. We also discussed volunteers that are coming on Wednesday next week and some of the things that we can kind of take care of and hopefully knock out with their help. Moving furniture and cleaning up spaces. I really want to organize Hudson Bay so I'm hoping I can start that on Tuesday and have a plan for when the people come on Wednesday.

It was fun though. I liked being productive and we didn't get as many things done on my list as I was hoping but we got a lot. We had a lot of things that had to get done from the golf tournament yesterday and Sarah was doing a lot of credit card receipts and scanning and organizing documents which I'm really glad she has a handle on that because I think I would have gotten confused with all the numbers. So I was really glad that she's good at that. And we would be texting from across the office every once in awhile. Just being like what are you doing what's going on over there??

I would be up in the art feeling a lot of the time though just painting the sticks and waiting for it to dry and listening to music. The wedding that is happening this weekend came like 3 hours early which was a little strange but it's fine. The only thing I didn't like was that I think they went in my building when I had gone down to the office because I came back up in the door was open and it smelled like potty odor or onions or something very strongly. I turned on all the fans but it was gross. And I don't understand what could have happened that left that smell. Very bizarre.

Around 3:30 I really ran out of stuff that I could do because the paint was drying and I had everything else prepped and ready to put together for when it was dry but I might still need to do one more coat of paint. So I went back down to the office and talked to Heather for a bit. She had printed some of the posters that I had made and Elizabeth had some edits she wanted to make real quick before we printed anymore. And once those were done I took a few to take downtown and Heather said that it seems to be time for me to go. And honestly she was right cuz I was really tired and I didn't really think I could accomplish anything else today. So I said goodbye to everyone and I got my stuff and I headed out.

I really wanted to go to the Amish market. That was my big plan for the afternoon and I'm really glad that I stuck to it. I got over there and I walked around and I looked at all the gemstones like I love doing every time. And then I went and got two milkshakes and two pretzels. Because the nice thing about that place is if you buy a milkshake you get a free pretzel. So I got James a pumpkin milkshake and I got myself an apple pie milkshake. James had asked me to get them a special pumpkin treat and I thought that was a good one. And the girls were very nice that made it. And I went over to the grocery store area and I got pasta shells because we haven't been able to find them like anywhere. And I got mini red velvet whoopie pies. I was going to get regular red velvet would be pies but the girl in front of me got the last ones so I got the mini ones instead. Which is fine I don't really care. The girl at the counter seemed a little confused when I told her that we couldn't find stuffed shell pastas anywhere and she was like oh neat.

Lastly I went and got deviled eggs because I love those and then it was time to go home. for real this time. I was thinking about stopping at Target but I really did not want to anymore and I had the milkshakes and I didn't want them to get two melty. People were really stupid in the parking lot but I made it out without hitting anyone. A truck did try to hit me when I was on the road but we avoided that and it was fine.

I got home in about 20 minutes and James was right there when I got home and I was so happy to see them and I had a big package because I bought this very silly Halloween costume. If it's James better than it fits me but I think it'll be very funny More for camp than actually wearing it for Halloween but it's just too good and I couldn't pass it up.

As James was trying it on so I could take a picture of them their cousin called that they were downstairs so James wouldn't answered the door in the bear costume. And they would bring Drew and his friend whose name I think was Parker up and it was so nice to see Drew. And Parker was very sweet. Very excited to meet sweetp. And while they were all talking I went and grabbed my little baby mouse who seems to be doing okay but is very crispy. And I rinsed him off which he yelled about the whole time. I think it's just cuz he doesn't like to be cold but he cannot be crispy. It's not good for him. So I cleaned him up and I tried them off a little bit and put him back in the tank. Sweetp has been entirely too interested in the tank tonight. Just sitting and staring at it. I haven't covered with a scarf but he can hear him now so it's not great. He has not broken into the studio yet when we keep the doors closed though so I'm not that worried but I am still kind of like annoyed because I want him to leave the box alone.

I am trying to leave baby mouse alone as much as I can. I feed him and then I put him back I wash them off I feed him I put him back in. He seems to be doing okay but I worry about him and in the next week or so we'll really have to decide what kind of setup he's going to get at camp if he is going to continue to be alive. So far so good. I want him to stay alive. My most ideal situation would be to release him but I don't think he could care for himself. He doesn't know how to clean himself and he's not eating solid food yet so. I'll try probably to set up some kind of enclosure for him at camp and we'll see what happens.

James left for the baseball game with Drew. Even after winning the championship last night there are still more postseason games to play apparently. And now it seems like James feels like it's less steaks so they can just go and have fun. And they just told me they are having a lot of fun and that made me very happy.

Well they've been out having fun I have been here rotting in bed. I am so tired. I have been thinking about stuff from today though like when Chloe came in to the office at the end and asked if anyone wanted to sign up to take a pottery class with her and I was like yes absolutely So she's going to send me in the information and I might be taking a pottery class on Wednesday nights for the next couple months and I would love that. I have been saying I wanted to take a pottery class again for literally years and I think that this was just the perfect opportunity. And I get to take it with Chloe who I already really enjoy?! Perfect situation.

I took a bath and that made me feel a little bit better. I'm still pretty tired but I'm not freezing anymore so I'm not as miserable. I just put on a documentary and I'm going to watch that and James will probably be home by the time that's over. And then tomorrow we're going to the Renaissance festival. I'm really excited.

We're going to leave here probably around 9:00 and the gates open at 10:00. Just should meet us there around that time. And I just hope that we have a blast. I have no expectations for tomorrow. I think I'm going to look at the website for a little bit and see if there's anything that I really want to see. Maybe a show. But mostly I'm just excited to go and walk around and see all the people. I hope that it is a really fun day.

I hope that you all have a really nice night tonight and sleep really well. Good night. Until next time too

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moshymosh · 3 years

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Remember me- A Night To Remember

When the love of your life suffers from a disease that affects their memory of their life with you, what do you do? Will you spend your last days with them, trying to get them to remember you? The life you had, or would you give up and let them forget you?

Summary- Dr. Spencer Reid felt his whole life change when Agent Y/n L/n joined the BAU. She came in like a cool summer breeze changing everything Spencer knew about love and his capacity to care for someone so much. Y/n came to the BAU with a tragic past, her only goal was to save lives and make the world a safer place for everyone. She meets a skinny shaggy haired doctor, which causes her whole life to change, much like Spencer, will she fall in love or will her tragic past or even her job prevent her?

Pairings- Dr. Spencer Reid x f!reader.

A/N- This is a notebook inspired story, this story will be told and wrote like a chapter book. So some of the endings will not always make sense. Also I don't claim go own Criminal Minds or the Notebook, this is solely for entertainment purposes and for enjoyment. Some of the lines are from the notebook movie, again I don't claim to own either fandom/tv show/ movie. I try to make Y/n as vague as possible so shes more inclusive so if there is any descriptive things that don’t apply to you feel free to ignore them. Also just putting this out there as the story progresses Maeve is still alive and well, she is a good friend of Spencer and Y/n’s. There will be graphic content and sexual scenes in later chapters, warnings will be added as they go. Also if you want to be tagged send me an as or comment here, also send requests I'm down for making little fics. I know this part is a little weird, but there will be a -A Night To Remember part 2

PS- Please don't post my fics anywhere without my documented consent, thanks -Karma (MoshyMosh)

Warnings- some mentions of guns, violence and some minor crime talk, the usual for criminal minds. (I’m bad at writing case talk, please don't hate me.)

Here's the dress I was using for inspiration. Also here are the roses. If the links don’t work, here’s a link to the inspo board on Pinterest.

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Y/n walked into the bullpen a package clasped in her hands. Y/n saw JJ talking to Derek and glanced around, making sure Spencer wasn't around before she walked over to the pair. "JJ I need a favor, " Y/n said softly, holding out the newspaper-wrapped package. "Give it to Spencer when I'm- uh not around?"

JJ and Derek shared a small smile after JJ took the package from Y/n and watched her go over to her desk and begin to set her stuff down. Y/n tilted her head at the small bouquet of yellow red-tipped roses sitting on her desk. Y/n smiled softly and pulled the notecard from its holder. Her eyes were drawn from the notecard to the three bags of gummy bears behind the roses.

Y/n let out a giggle and shook her head with a small smile on her face. She then looked up to JJ with a look of confusion but brushed it aside and sat down as she began to pull the card from its envelope.

'Will you go to the FBI ball with me?-SR xx'

Y/n giggled and slid the notecard into her blazer pocket and grabbed one of the bags of gummy bears, opening it as she left the bullpen to go to Garcia's bat cave.

Spencer smiled as he saw Y/n's reaction to his gifts, turning back to Rossi and Hotch, as they all stood in Hotch's office. "I think she liked them." He said excitedly. "Thank you." Spencer said before he left Hotch's office.

JJ saw Spencer walking back to his desk. "Spence!" she called for him as she began to walk over to him, Derek trailing behind her.

Spencer turned and looked at JJ, confused, seeing the package in her hand. "Looks like pretty boys got a crush." Derek said with a chuckle, nudging Spencer's shoulder.

Spencer took the package from JJ, pulling the notecard from under the emerald green ribbon that was decorating the package. Spencer looked up at JJ and Derek, confused before he opened the envelope and pulled out the card to read its contents.

'I love Walt Whitman, you saw and remember how I like my coffee, here's my favorite book of poems. Remember them- F/I L/I x'

Spencer put the notecard down and went to untie the ribbon when he looked at his desk to set the ribbon down and saw a note on the back of the card.

'PS- you once told me a statistic on recycling and I took it to heart, hence the newspaper. It's recycled.'

Spencer chuckled and carefully unwrapped the newspaper so it can be reused before he pulled the book from the wrapper. Spencer opened the hardcover and saw the copyright page.

"A first edition?" Spencer asked in disbelief.

Y/n and Garcia walked back in the bullpen, Y/n looked over to Spencer and smiled at him before she popped a gummy bear into her mouth.

"Okay guys, the FBI ball is next Wednesday. We just got a case, let's meet and discuss." Hotch said from the second floor.

Y/n followed Penelope to the meeting room and found a seat as the others filed in after.

"Ok, guys this case is in our very own home." Garcia started talking, throughout the meeting Y/n and Spencer took turns glancing at each other.

"Ok L/n you're with me, we'll set up here. Reid and Morgan go check out the first crime scene. Rossi, JJ, and Prentiss go to the recent scene." Hotch said as he closed his file.

"Y/n." Hotch said once everyone left and they began to set up the evidence boards that they had wheeled into the room.

"Yes sir?" Y/n asked, looking over to Hotch as she finished putting up the final picture on one of the boards.

"Did you like Spencer's gifts?" he asked, handing her some more things to put on the board.

Y/n smiled to herself as she hung the things he handed to her, "Yes, I did. Though, I can't wrap my brain around what those yellow roses are supposed to symbolize. They have multiple meanings such as friendship and/or falling in love." she said as she turned around and placed her hands on the back of a nearby chair. "Does that mean his note is 'go to the ball with me as friends.' or 'go to the ball with me because I'm falling in love with you.'?"

Hotch chuckled and shook his head with a smile. "Don't overthink it like Reid did." he said

Y/n shook her head with a laugh before she smiled up at him. "I think just because you said that I'm going to do just that."

Their friendly banter was interrupted by Hotch's phone ringing. "Reid, what did you find out?" Hotch asked as he answered and put his phone on speaker, Y/n listened alongside Hotch to what Reid was telling them. Y/n looked over to the map on the board, mentally putting points on it.

"I think I know where the unsub's comfort zone is." she said, moving away from the chair she was leaning against and began putting the points she envisioned onto the map for the team.

"Reid, Morgan tell everyone to get back here." Hotch said before he turned and looked at what Y/n was doing as he hung up the phone.

After a few days if run around by the unsub they managed to track him down. Y/n went into the warehouse with her gun drawn as she led a few SWAT members in.

"Thomas McDonald!" Y/n shouted, her gun drawn on the man who was holding a knife to the throat of a girl he recently kidnapped. "Put the knife down, and let the girl go."

Soon the team came in and the unsub backed down. They quickly arrested the man and the victim was given medical treatment. Y/n took a deep breath when she stepped out of the warehouse, Y/n shook her head to shake loose her thoughts before she looked at the woman sitting on the back of the ambulance.

"Agent L/n?" a medic called over to her, she looked over to the source of the voice. "She wants to speak to you."

Y/n walked over to the woman and sat next to her. "You saved my life." the woman said, grasping Y/n's hands.

"It wasn't just me." Y/n said as she rubbed her thumbs over the back of the woman's hands, turning her head to nod towards the team. "They all helped." Y/n whispered to her. The woman hugged her tightly causing Y/n to gasp in shock. Y/n hugged the woman back and began rubbing her back in a comforting manner.

"Thank you so much." The woman said. Y/n continued to rub the woman's back, not knowing Spencer was watching her comfort the woman.

"L/n." Hotch called out to her, causing Spencer to look away, as Y/n looked back to Hotch. She excused herself from the woman's embrace and came to join the team, standing beside Spencer. "You did a really good job of defusing the situation, " Hotch said earnestly, causing Y/n to let out a small sigh of relief. "Let's head back to Quantico and debrief."

Y/n and the team headed back to Quantico and began to work on writing their reports. Y/n sighed and rubbed her eyes for what she felt was the thousandth time, everyone had finished and went home. Spencer looked over at Y/n who yawned and rolled her head, stretching out her neck.

Spencer stood and began to grab his things. "Y/n go home, it'll be there tomorrow." he said to her as he walked past her desk.

"Oh! Spencer, yes I'll go to the ball with you on Wednesday." Y/n said as she smiled at him. Spence smiled back at her and nodded his head before he turned and continued walking to the elevators, leaving Y/n behind in the empty office.

The sun rose on the Monday before the ball. Y/n groaned as she lifted her head from her desk as she heard her coworkers enter the bullpen, she rubbed her eyes sleepily as she turned her head in their direction.

"Y/n did you sleep here last night?" Penelope asked as she walked in beside Derek.

Y/n stretched and yawned as she looked around. "I uh- must've fallen asleep after I finished my report." Y/n said as she rubbed her eyes again. "I remember putting my report on Hotch's desk and sitting back down to gather my things and I fell asleep."

Spencer walked in behind JJ, carrying two to-go coffee cups, smiling at the sleepy Y/n at her desk. "You slept here." Spencer stated, walking over to her, holding out one of the cups to her.

"No, I just decided to wear yesterday's clothes and not brush my hair." Y/n said sarcastically before she took a sip of coffee.

"Ouch, Y/n's got bite in the morning." Derek said with a chuckled to which Y/n gave him a death glare. "Oof meow." he said, gesturing a clawing motion with his hand.

Hotch walked in with a chuckle overhearing their conversation. "L/n, JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia why don't you girls take the day, go do girl things." he said with a smile. "Just keep your phone on you."

JJ and Emily looked at each other in disbelief as Penelope squealed and did a happy dance. Y/n saluted with a sleepy look as she sipped her coffee again.

"Rossi, Reid, and Morgan, we all have tuxs to get for Wednesday." Hotch said. Spencer watched as Y/n gathered her things into her white messenger bag before she stood, slinging it onto her shoulder.

"Spencie, thank you so much for the lifeline this morning." Y/n said as she raised her cup in his direction.

"Y/n! Let's go, we've got dress shopping to do!" Penelope shouted from the door to the bullpen, causing Y/n to cringe at the loudness of her voice.

Y/n turned around and motioned her hand in a lowering gesture. "Penny sweetie, too loud." Y/n whispered as she walked over to her, and slung her arm around Penelope's shoulders after she switched her coffee cup to the other hand. "Let's go bitches." Y/n said with a laugh as they walked to the elevators, to go shopping.

Y/n sat in the dress shop, watching JJ, Emily and Penelope come in and out of the fitting rooms, trying on different dresses. Y/n turned her head as her eyes glanced go the burgundy she had her eyes on.

"Girl, go get it." JJ said as she watched Y/n, the dress she decided on, hanging over her arm.

Y/n looked back to JJ, biting her lip. "Should I?" she asked as she began playing with her fingers.

"Oh hell yes." Emily said adjusting the dress she was trying on in the mirror.

Y/n nodded her head in determination, before she stood and walked over to the display her dress was hanging on, flagging down an employee for help. Y/n waited by the dressing room as she watch the employee take the dress off the display for her to try on. Y/n walked behind the curtain after the employee handed it to her.

Y/n stood in front of the mirror inside the fitting room, as she ran her hands down the tulle bodice. She took a deep breath and turned to exit the small room.

"Oh my God!" All of the girls said when they saw Y/n in the dress. The burgundy tulle of the skirt flowed around her perfectly.

"Does it look ok?" Y/n asked softly as she adjusted the sleeves, turning around to look in the mirror behind her.

"Yes, you do." JJ said as she came up behind her, rubbing her shoulders affectionately. "Look if you do your hair up..." She said as she demonstrated showing Y/n what she meant.

Y/n bit her lip as she looked at her reflection as JJ held her hair up. Emily came up behind the pair and smiled, leaning over Y/n's opposite shoulder.

"You know I wasn't sure about you at first but I've changed my mind about you now." Emily said as she draped a necklace she saw on a display on Y/n's neck. "I saw this necklace and I thought it was perfect." she said as she looked up from the necklace on Y/n's chest to her reflection.

JJ stepped away from Y/n and Emily, and went to look for a necktie that matched the color of Y/n's dress for Spencer to wear. JJ dragged Penelope into the search after they both paid for their dresses and accessories. Y/n smiled at Emily when she stepped away. Y/n went back into the dressing room to change back into she came into the store in. Emily took the necklace she found for herself and the one she found for Y/n, along with her dress, and went to the register to pay for her items.

Emily waited for the girls by the door of the shop. Y/n stepped out of the dressing room, the dress she was getting, draped over her arm as she gathered her bag from the couch she was previously occupying. She went to the register to pay for her desk, smiling as the woman put her dress in a dress bag before she stood next to Emily by the door, waiting for Penelope and JJ.

Once all the girls were ready they walked out of the shop and out to their cars. "Hey girls, why don't you guys take your things home and then come back to my apartment for some drinks and take out?" Y/n asked when they all reached their cars that were parked near each other.

"You got a deal sister. I'll bring the wine." Penelope said giddily.

Emily chuckled and shook her head as she hung her dress in the back of her car. "I'll bring face masks." she said with a wink to Y/n.

"JJ, what are you bringing?" Y/n asked, watching the woman in question put her dress in her car.

"I'm bringing my love and support." JJ said as she opened her driver's side door, putting her purse inside of the vehicle. She turned to the girls, leaning back against the back door. "I will bring the steamy emotion-filled, romantic movies."

"Bring magic mike, please." Penelope said, giving JJ a pouty face.

Y/n laughed with a shake of her head as she watched the girls get into their cars and begin to leave. Y/n loaded her things into the back of her car, careful not to wrinkle her dress in its bag. As Y/n sat in her car about to leave the parking lot her thoughts turned to the roses she had Penelope take to her home while they were on the case.

She began to drive home, her thoughts now turning to think of what Spencer was doing.

#karmawrites #moshymosh's masterlist #mgg x reader #remember me #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine smut #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #matthew gray gubler x reader #moshymosh writes

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cassandras-blogg · 4 years

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"Swallowing Courage" (Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka ) CHAPTER TWO - I PROMISE THIS CHAPTER GOT DELETED SO I'M JUST REPOSTING IT (: CHAPTER 3 coming soon. - A loud knock at the door was the first thing Danny heard when he woke up the next morning. He slowly shifted around in the bed and felt the weight of another body close to his back. "So it was just a dream??" Danny thought to himself. He looked over at Sam and his back was completely turned away from him. Sam's arms were close to his chest and his knees were closer to his stomach. Danny took this as, "Oh he didn't want his legs or arms to touch me the whole night, so it must have been just a dream." Danny sighed in relief. There was no way it could have actually happened, why would Sam ever offer to help Danny explore his sexuality? There is no way Sam would ever take a risk that could potentially ruin their lifelong friendship. There was another knock at Sam's door, when there was no answer again the door swung open. Josh was standing there in the doorway holding a tall cup of coffee. "Can I have some of that? Please?" Danny asked sitting up in Sam's bed. "Uh-hmm. What are you doing today? Just church or what?" Josh hummed, he passed his cup of coffee to Danny and climbed into the bed to sit down next to him. "Wait, it's Sunday?! How did I forget! What time is it?" Danny raised his voice and this finally woke Sam up. "It's 8:35 right now." Josh said reaching his hand out and taking back his cup of coffee. "Ugh, I have to go. Like right now." Danny had to quickly crawl over Sam's legs and Josh's body to get himself out of the bed. "Dude stop it!" Josh said slowly moving his arms up. "What??" Danny asked, once he looked back at him he could see a few drops of coffee running down Josh's arm. His quick movements almost made Josh spill the coffee on himself, but he caught it quickly before it could make a real mess. "Yeah, seriously. Calm down. Church doesn't start until like 10:00? Right?" Sam asked running his hands through his messy hair. "Yeah, but I have to be there at 9:00 every time to help set up!" Danny said grabbing his jean jacket and his boots he was wearing yesterday. Danny often played the drums in the worship band at his church on Wednesdays and Sundays, sometimes he would also sing when he needed to. He always went to church twice a week and was never late to any form of service. At Danny's church he is one of the top volunteers and is a highly respected student leader in his youth group. He has been very involved in church since his childhood, it has always been a huge part of his life. "My mom and dad are gonna kill me. I don't know if I'm gonna make it on time." Danny heavily sighed quickly lacing up his boots.

"OH SHIT! That's right. Speaking of mom and dad, we got to clean up this house before they get here." Josh set his cup of coffee down and jumped up to run downstairs to the living room. The Kiszka parents and Ronnie had gone to a relative's house last night because they wanted the boys to have the house to themselves for Danny's birthday. "You do realize how fast I can drive right? I can get you there in twenty minutes tops." Sam said standing and throwing on a hoodie. "Really you will??? Thank you Sam." Danny sighed in relief this time, he knew if he drove himself then he would just end up following all the rules and would never speed past the posted limit. Sam followed most of the rules of the road, but he would still speed around left and right if he saw there were no cops around. Danny and Sam jogged down the stairs and saw Jake taking down some of the decorations. Josh grabbed the empty bottles and handed them to Sam. "Here you, smash these bottles outside on the concrete. Then sweep it up and throw all the glass at the bottom of the trash. Jake will cover it up by throwing the decorations and other trash on top of it. The glass won't rip the trash bag, we double bagged it." Josh always was the one who came up with ideas on how to cover up the evidence so their parents wouldn't find out what they were up too. "Ah, I got to take Danny to church like right now." Sam said grabbing the keys to the car that the twins shared. "Hurry up then! Come back right after you are done.” Jake shot him a glare while continuing to pick up trash. "I promise!!" Sam shouted as he ran out of the door with Danny.

` About fifteen minutes later they had arrived. Sam dramatically swerved into the church parking lot and parked right up front where everyone could see them through the untinted car windows. "You didn't have to pull in all crazy like that." Danny said slowly taking off his seatbelt. "You wanted to be on time. Right?" Sam scoffed. "That is true." Danny smiled despite feeling slightly embarrassed because of the few old people frowning in their direction. The older people always showed up earlier and the younger people with families show up right on time. "Thank you for driving me over here, I really appreciate it. Do you want to ditch the twins and come to church with me?” Danny asked. "No problem, and you know what I say every time you invite me to church Daniel. No. Oh, and by the way, take it easy in there when you drum today. Last night I noticed you need to take better care of your hands' dude. You're going to ruin them before you have a shot at becoming a successful drummer." Sam said looking down at Danny's blistered hands that were sitting in his lap. He never ”took it easy” because he had no other coping mechanisms except drumming. "Oh." Danny said. He thought it was weird that Sam randomly started talking about his hands, especially since he had a dream last about them holding hands. Then suddenly Danny felt a tidal wave of anxiety fire through his brain, travel down his spine, and then into his lower body. Why would he start talking about his hands? Unless it really happened. "So, what do you want to try later?" Sam asked curiously. "What do you mean?" Danny asked calmly. "You know, like what do you want to do next? With me?” Sam asked, directly looking into Danny’s eyes. ”Oh wow.” Danny took a deep breath. INHALE. IGNORE EXHALE CONTINUE. His thoughts were shouting at him to calm down, but he still could not stop his body from panicking. Danny’s hand began to tremble. He could not believe this was happening to him. Danny was filled with instant regret, guilt, and shame. He wanted to run away and never look at Sam again. He wished he could take back holding Sam’s hand. At the same time, he couldn’t deny how good it felt to hold hands with a guy, with Sam for the first time. ”Can we talk about this after church?” Danny looked over at Sam, hoping that he would agree. He didn’t even want to go to church anymore, he merely wanted to be alone. ”What's wrong with you?” Sam asked. ”You’re shaking right now.” ”I’m just cold. And I don't feel good. At. All.” Danny said trying his best to stop shaking. He was thankful that it was December so he could use the weather as an excuse. ”Oh, It’s because you need a hoodie underneath that jean jacket. I got another one in the back, no worries.” Sam said unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car. Sam remembered that he held Danny’s hand that night. He was not that drunk by that hour. Danny was absolutely panicking over it, but Sam appeared to be unfazed by what happened the night before. ”Want me to go to church with you?” Sam asked once he came back from the trunk with an extra hoodie. Danny could not believe his ears. He considered the thought maybe last night when he blew out the candles it had transported him into some parallel universe. Sam was not freaked out at all. Sam wanted to be there for Danny while he could see that he was clearly panicking and wasn't actually cold. He already had Danny figured out, Sam has been there for many panic attacks before this one, and he never left him alone during one. Sam was willing to sacrifice his morning and afternoon to make sure Danny was okay.

”You don’t have too. Jake and Josh will get mad at you later if you don’t go back home now.” Danny replied as he took off his jean jacket to put on Sam’s hoodie, then layered it by putting his own jacket back on as Sam told him to do. ”I want to.” Sam said.” Besides they will get over it if they get mad oh well.” ”Really, thank you.” Danny said looking at Sam with this newfound admiration. ”Of course, like I said yesterday, I would do anything for you.” Sam shrugged. ”Oh and if you want to after church we can hang out and talk about whatever you want.” Danny looked up stared at Sam for a long time. There was so much he wanted to say to him, but he did not know where to start. There were no words to describe how grateful he was to have Sam as his best friend. Danny wanted to give him Sam a really long hug, but he couldn't bring himself to actually do it.

”Okay that sounds good.” Danny smiled. He didn't hug him, but they finally got out of the car and walked into the church together.

After the service, they decided to walk down a trail behind Danny’s house. This was the usual spot where they went to rant or talk about people at school, their families, or whatever was going on in their life.

”So. When did you start liking guys?” Sam asked kicking a rock in front of him. There was a brief moment of silence. Danny was unsure how to answer the question. His mind had deeply suppressed the idea of liking guys a long time ago. In the past, whenever he began to feel a certain way about a guy, Danny would always tell himself that it was wrong to think that way.

”I don’t think I like guys. I just know I have these thoughts that I can't control. So I'm thinking maybe if I act on them, they might go away once I see how weird it is to actually ”get with” a guy in real life.” Danny answered. ”Oh. I don't think that’s how it works.” Sam said. He stopped kicking he rock and looked up at Danny. ”But if that’s you think then, okay. I'll still help you out, but what are you gonna do if you actually realize you like guys?” Danny did not want to consider the possibility that he was really gay or anything else besides straight. It was too much for him to handle. If he thought about it long enough, his brain might explode from the mind-blowing possibility that it could be true. ”I’m not gay.” Danny sighed. ”I just need a wake-up call, and you are gonna be it for me. I just need to do this, so I feel more sure of myself, so I can move on with my life. You can back out now if you want too. I know you already do a lot for me, so you don't have to help me do this too. I can find some other guy to make out with and then I can get it over with." Danny silently hoped that Sam was going to back out of it because maybe that would make things easier. If he kissed a guy that was a stranger it might be easier, because then he would not have to think about ruining a friendship.

At first, Sam just stared at Danny, then he looked over at a large rock off to the side of the trail. He walked off the trail and sat down on the rock. Sam leaned back a little and made himself comfortable. "Come here, Danny." "Why?" Danny gulped starting to feel the nerves coming back. "Just come here. I have something to tell you." Sam said. He hesitated, but he still slowly walked over to the rock to sit by Sam. "What is it?" Danny asked scooting closer to his friend. "Yesterday I wanted to tell you this, but I was pretty sure Josh and Jake were going to make fun of me and I didn't want to hear it. I also thought you might make fun of me for even giving you the ring, so I just didn't say anything extra to add on to it. Anyways, last night when I gave you that ring it was not just a symbol of our friendship, it was also a promise from me. It was a promise to be your best friend no matter what happens. I can say a whole list of things, but I promise to always be there. I promise to always hear you out. I promise to never judge you. I swear, I do."

Danny was truly speechless now. “Can I hug you?” He asked. Sam and Danny did not hug very often. They felt like there was no need to hug unless they took a break from seeing each other for a while. Sometimes when Danny had panic attacks then they would hug during or after it happened. ”Yeah.” Sam said, he moved as close as he could to Danny and put his arms around his neck. Danny slid his arms around Sam’s waist and pulled him closer to his chest, practically pulling him into his lap. He began to tighten his grip, digging his fingers into Sam’s rib cage. Danny took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Sam tried to pull away from him, but Danny held him there and didn’t let him move.

”Can we hug longer?” Danny asked when Sam tried to move away again. ”Yeah. If you stop crushing me.” Sam winced. Danny looked down and realized how much pressure he was using in this hug ”Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Danny gasped starting to move away from Sam. ”It's okay. Come back.” Sam said grabbing Danny’s shirt and pulling him in closer to his face. Now they were nose to nose, making direct eye contact. Sam took a deep breath and he placed one hand on Danny’s face. Danny thought that maybe he should back up and move away, but that never happened. There was no way could blink or look away either, Sam had never been this close to his face before. Sam leaned in and Danny had no time to mentally prepare for what happened next. Sam gave him the most gentle kiss on one side of his cheek. He was positive that it was going to end there, but it didn’t. Sam leaned in more and put both his hands on Danny’s face, then he kissed the other side of his cheek. His lips moved up to the middle of Danny’s forehead then he kissed down the bridge of his nose. Sam paused once he reached Danny’s mouth. Tilting his head, he hovered over Danny’s lips, once he moved a little closer it made their lips lightly touch for a moment. Danny was tingling all over. ”Wait.” Danny said putting his hand on Sam’s chest. ”What?” Sam asked impatiently. ”Promise we will still be friends after this?” ”I promise.” Sam said quickly moving one hand to the back of Danny’s head. Once he moved his head forward, Sam finally got the chance to put his lips on Danny’s mouth. Sam let their closed lips stay pressed together for a moment, but not for too long. Then he grabbed Danny’s hair and tugged it just enough to make him gasp. Sam’s plan to deepen the kiss had worked, he pulled on his hair more, and now Danny’s jaw was slightly opened. That gave Sam the chance to lean forward and to slowly work his tongue into Danny’s mouth. Sam could tell that Danny was hesitant about this next move. Every time Danny would try to back up, Sam would pull him in closer. Eventually, Danny stopped trying to fight it, he put his hands on Sam’s back and started to move them up and down Sam’s spine. After he did this he could feel a shift and then more pressure on his lips. ”Mmm.” Sam lightly moaned into his mouth and started using more tongue. Danny’s hands were sending chills down his spine. Once Sam made that sound and Danny felt himself getting more heated by the second. Sam kept both of his hands underneath Danny’s hair so he could protect his head from hitting the rock when he rolled them over. Now they were laying on top of this uncomfortable rock kissing back and forth. Sam was on top of him with one knee on both sides of his waist, he tried his best to not to let their lips disconnect for more than a few seconds. Danny’s desire to keep kissing Sam only grew stronger, even though he could feel all of the uneven ridges of the rock digging into his back. Then suddenly Sam stopped kissing him. He abruptly pulled away and looked at Danny with a wide smile. “So. How was that kiss?” ”I uh, did not think it would feel like that. Better than I thought I guess? Also, that was way more than one kiss.” Danny said breathing heavily. ”Yeah and all those kisses are not for free.” Sam said sitting up and moving off of Danny’s body. Then he climbed off the rock and looked back up at Danny a smile. ”Oh okay, what do you want?” Danny asked. ”Let see. I. Want.” Sam began to cross his arms and look to the side. Danny waited in anticipation as Sam took his sweet time thinking about what he wanted.

”Weed, alcohol, my favorite snacks, and a few new records.” Sam requested. ”Oh okay.” Danny blushed. He thought that Sam was gonna say something sexual, but he wrong. ”Do you think you like guys now or what?” ”I don’t know, maybe you should come over later?” ”Danny!! Dude. You just can't get enough of me huh!?” Sam teased. ”Shut up Sam.” Danny said feeling the sudden urge to cover his face with his hands. ”But will you? Come over later?”

”You know I will.”

- END OF CHAPTER 2. There is gonna be a lot more writing coming up later, so be prepared.

#greta van fleet #sanny #jakekiszka #samkiszka #joshkiszka #dannywagner #greta van fic #gvf

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haikpers · 3 years

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[November 4,2020] 'Chapter 2'

I didn't expect the Night to go by so slow. Ever since I started writing in this I was just so excited to write whatever happens!

Anyways, I just woke up. It's currently 8:30 in the Morning. Wasn't expecting to actually wake up considering the fact that I kinda stayed up most of the Night looking up at my ceiling.

I'm in my Washroom getting ready to take my Daily shower. I've also gotta mention that my Friend Julien picked me up from my House today. For some reason my Pimples always settle down when I'm with him. He's probably Magic at this point.

It's not like I completely want my pimples to be gone just because I wanna look pretty. In all honesty, I want them to go away because I wanna be just like Oikawa! I know it sounds weird, and heck yeah it sounds impossible. But like I at least want to be similar you know? I've got the personality, the same interests as him, etc. So why not looks too?

Oh right, because he's perfect and I'm not. But whatever! I don't really care. I should be taking Shower by now but I'm standing here typing whatever's on my mind. Oopsies~ hehehe

Also, last night I was able to talk to my Friends about moving out and living together in the future. They're definitely going to be my Future Volleyball Teammates! I know, I know, I'm still 14. And yes we may have some age gaps but that won't stop us from setting up a Goal!

Hopefully Future me or any of them doesn't decide to leave. I really want to achieve this Goal of hours living together and staying Best Friends! Miracle, Lev, Mochi, and Colette. The 4 most precious people in my Life so far including myself, we're going to try our best! Anyhoo, I need to take a shower!

Just got done with my Shower. I feel much more refreshed now! I also haven't eaten yet, which I probably should do.. But I'll stay a little longer just so that whatever I post today is actually longer than the one from Yesterday.

Hannah somehow managed to make me cringe at my past self, I wanna die- So basically I used to do digital art, well not used to- I still do digital art til' this day but rarely. My art style was crap, oh GODXDDDDFFKEMFKKWKC.

I wanted to forget about it too, damnit. Now I have to relive my old art.

No idea why my head hurts a bit though. Maybe it's because I've never written a Diary before and my Brain's just malfunctioning because of it. Whatever the cause is, I'm ignoring it. [Unless it gets worse]

Did I mention it was Wednesday today? No, I don't think I have. Either way I'm just excited for the weekly Haikyuu Episode. It always comes out on Friday, which I'm so hyped about! Now that I think about it, I don't think I would've been so invested in Volleyball if it weren't for Haikyuu. In fact, I wouldn't even bat an eye to Haikyuu if it weren't for Oikawa. He caught my eye in one of the Instagram Posts- so, basically he's the reason why I love the Sport.

It's funny to think that my Future is because of Oikawa Tōru, a fictional Character who is both the Setter and the Team Captain for Aobajohsai from Haikyuu. But hey, I'm not complaining! If it's because of him then I'll continue.

Alright, I probably should actually eat now. I'm getting pretty hungry and I'm sure that my Birds are too as well. Their names are Bokuto, and Akaashi. Bokuto is the yellow bird, while Akaashi is the Blue. It fits them so well!

Well, well, well, I am back from my break! Also, I actually took a shower but I came back here like 3 Hours or even more after. Not a lot of things happened during the span of those hours. [Sad, I know]

But I did end up practicing my tosses for a bit! I use my Laundry Basket as a target for my Volleyball to land into whenever I set/toss it. It's not much, but it improves my precision.

I haven't tried setting backwards with it though, I probably should since I might need more practice for that. Also, I read some Hisoka x Reader Fan Fictions. Some were Lemon, the rest were fluff.

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do okay? I was kinda bored so I ended up reading some FanFictions before deciding to go back to my own Diary and continue my writing.

I'm not even sure if I could practice outside today.. It's pretty sunny, but I feel like it might be freezing cold. I might as well just wait for tomorrow when I can go to School. Maybe then I could ask my Music Teacher if there's a way for me to Practice in the Schools Gym.

Corona is really pissing me off, I can't even practice or try out for the Team this year! Argh! And I was looking forward to it too. And the fact that I can't find any Gyms that has a Volleyball Court? Really shatters me. How come Japan is more superior. Like, I just wanna practice in a Gym that let's you use the Court for free.

I swear, when I become a Professional Volleyball player, I'm gonna set up a Gym/program in Canada where girls' and boys' like me could practice in without having to rent. I'll even be the coach for the program! Big dreams for tiny me, huhu.

I'm feeling even more sleepy for writing, is that bad? I really do wanna include something exciting in this Chapter but I can't think of anything that has happened that would be worth mentioning.

I also made a promise to myself that I wouldn't discuss any Past Occasions on here sooo... I have to make my current situation entertaining I guess. But~ I can do that after I sleep. uwu

Also, I kind of want to mention a little secret of mine that I do every single day. Before I go to sleep, or like any time during the day; I imagine Oikawa living along side me, interacting with me, and basically just straight up acting like my Best Friend. I also act as if no one else could see him BUT ME! It's honestly a straight up serotonin boost. I even have those moments where I could actually feel warmth where I imagine him to be. It's amazing!

But of course other people wouldn't really understand how much these little imaginations mean to me. Not everyone is this obsessed, but whatever. The more unique I am, the more reason to stay just the way I am.

I'll go check if it's actually cold outside, that way I can see whether or not I could practice my serves. Quick tip, if you don't have a net! Use the swings in parks. You could serve over the Bars, it's pretty useful. But make sure you don't hit anybody!

Bro, I just asked my Mom if I could go outside and practice. She said yes, I'm so excited to actually practice my serves! Wish me luck! I'll be back after. It's like 16° so I need to at least wear a sweater.

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marlaluster · 2 years

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Another day of the entity seeming to control me

I've had another day where I haven't done things I need to do, like clean up. Today, like most days, I managed to exercise and shower after some procrastination but certain things went undone. I also had trouble writing at a point I was thinking of what to write for my story of my experience with what's considered schizophrenia. I was forgetting ideas I had for my story while I was doing other things.

The entity that says it's what attacks me said it was making me forget things and making me feel like not doing things because this reality doesn't make sense anymore to people on another plane and the entity isn't able to end it.

"I uh had a day where I losed. I was supposed to end today. I'm not. But I'm not losing. So that's that," the entity that says it's what attacks me said in my mind.

The entity said it wasn't "losing," meaning it wasn't doing too bad even though it wasn't able to end the world.

The entity was saying earlier today that he wasn't okay that he wasn't able to end this reality. It was attacking bad at points, making me feel really agitated and like I wanted to hit myself.

"I was," the entity said.

I don't hit myself as I used to when I would feel upset many years ago, like in my early 30s. The feeling to hit myself today was more frustration than upset. It wasn't the same.

Another thing that happened today: The entity also made me feel to write something I didn't mean when I wrote something I had posted to social media. I took the post down. The entity made me write that I didn't tell some things on social media because I didn't have a picture perfect life.

That's not why I don't tell some things. I do that to say it's a restricting environment when it comes to self revelation in my opinion. The entity said he didn't want me to tell why I don't tell some things. "It means I'm not allowed to go on," it said.

"Aren't you going to say something about where you posted it further? I didn't want you to tell that but since you did, I'm losing," the entity said, but something was talking that talks for the entity.

"It was really me. I talk as him because I'm who isn't who I am here. I'm in disguise. I -- something is happening that people act like it's real here so extremely," the entity said, not using something else to talk for it.

He was talking about my sister questioning me about how it wasn't real here. I felt not to tell her that it was partly because people were not present in their bodies.

"I was saying not to tell that," the entity said.

Changing subjects, I've had a lot of trouble (straining) making bowel movements again, but no blood since Wednesday. I don't look forward to the mornings because I'll have to make a bowel movement.

The entity is making me not feel like writing here. It's making me feel tired of writing here.

"I am doing that... because I know something will happen that I'm really less... in that you're here," the entity said. "I'm talking funny because Marla did that and it ended the world."

I only vaguely remember something I wrote yesterday about being able to write my story that I posted to social media having some weird wording in it somewhere. I'm saying"social media" because the thing is making me feel bad to say where I posted, specifically.

"I don't want you to mention there because I don't go on that you're writing there," the entity said

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teomuchtohandle · 2 years

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Me, up at 5:30 AM instead of my usual 7:30 AM, eating half of pomegranate and waiting for my tea to cool down to an acceptable level of temperature: ~Self-Care~

Nah. I'm just having a Bad Time in general.

I've been off my anti-depressants for...I think two weeks? Time isn't real. Anyway, I felt really good off them originally. But now I'm learning to self-regulate my emotions again and that isn't fun.

And then there's the day I had yesterday.

"Oh no Drea! Tell us more!"

If you insist.

So it started with breakfast yesterday. Milk, Water, Sugar, Salt. Long ago the four elements lived in harmony- Anyway. They went into my pot on the stovetop for some Yummy Oatmeal, yeah? And then my brain just. Forgets it exists until I smell caramel.

My pot had overflowed and burned until it looked like A Literal Portal To Hell. So I cleaned that mess up. I had used the last of my milk to make it too, don't get more until my CSA box on Wednesday, so the oatmeal I made to replace it wasn't nearly as good.

So that was straw one. Next came my work. I'm mentoring a new person for the next two weeks. But!!! Someone messed up the schedules. My old schedule was 9:50 AM to 6:20 PM. I got switched to a supervisor schedule for October and November since I was helping that team, 8:30 AM to 5 PM. Guess which one they had on the mentoring sheet?

Yeah, that was partially on me. I should have double-checked it before The First Day. Anyway, I message people and let them know. They tell me they'll handle it. So I send a 3 paragraph long message to my mentee to let them know about the scheduling mistake and to let them know I'll keep them posted on what management wants us to do about it. I deal with customers all morning, not my favorite activity. 9:50 AM rolls around. It turns to 10. I never get a message back. I reach out to management again. Oh no! My mentee called in sick! I hope she's okay, I really do, but now I have to take calls all morning. I end up having 4 escalations (my grand total so far is 7). One was a man who was HEATED about me not being able to find his dishwasher. It wasn't even my company's dishwasher. It was a competitor. So that's fun.

So I get off work and decide to be a good bean and work on my school stuff. I was supposed to submit an essay on Sunday but, because we changed the times of the world (Daylight Savings ended or whatever), I ended up not doing the essay because I slept in and just wasn't having a good time.

I'm supposed to have 2 days after the due date, with -10 points being taken off every day I'm late. I accept that. I shouldn't get an A if it's late. Except for my professor, who I already didn't like, closed the essay portal at 10 AM and gave me a 0. ((I didn't like him because when I sent a 5 paragraph long email about my disability and how it would affect my school work he literally replied back with two sentences. Thanks for letting him know, and nice to meet me.))

So I now have a 25 in the class. A 5 week class, where getting even one 0 fucks you for the rest of the class.

I do my Wednesday homework and 2/3rds of my assigned reading. Note, while I can write okay, I'm Dyslexic As Shit when it comes to reading. I've got the zoom on 200% to try and read the text and, while that makes it easier, it does nothing for the words and letters using the paragraphs as their personal swimming pool. The point is, pretty sure I retained only 25% of what I was reading.

Now for the Fun Part. I have chocolate in my house for the first time in months. I Splurged and decided to get something nice. I've been mixing it with my oatmeal so that I reward myself for eating breakfast. It's for Breakfast Only, because I only have a little of it.

I decide, you know what? I've had a mad day. I deserve a treat. I'm going to make some chocolate and peanut butter oatmeal at 9:30 PM and stay up until 11 PM so I can watch a video on the Omegaverse Lawsuits. ((I loved learning about them, love the YouTuber, and had a good time. Warning if you're going to watch, there's a LOT of sexual stuff. Click on the link if you want to learn more.))

So, to recap before the ending, I burned the shit out of my breakfast, had to do what I hate the most about my job because my mentee didn't show, and Had A Problem with my professor.

Okay. So. I have two culinary degrees. I should be able to handle *oatmeal*. I get ready to make it. I turn my burner a little higher than normal so it'll cook faster.

And it catches fire.

Apparently, I did not clean off all of the caramel from yesterday morning's adventure and it caught fire. A little flame at first, so I try to blow it out like a Smart Woman, then it engulfed the whole burner and my eyebrows thank me for remembering to use salt to put out kitchen fires.

((Little things that didn't deserve their own paragraphs. My cats knocked down and snapped one of my favorite plants because they're monsters who steal as much joy as they give. I also didn't get to write for my NaNoWriMo prompts, take my walk, or do my workout because I chose to do my school work instead.)

So that was my day!

#About Me #Mental Health #University

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