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#i was a dean girl and then i became a cas girl
jessybarnes · 8 months
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Teach Me
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean x Reader / Eventual Cas x Reader / No Destiel
Rating: 18+ Only!!
Tags: Voyeurism, Smut, Fingering (Female Receiving), Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Squirting, Finger Sucking, Masturbation, Unprotected Sex, Use of Grace, A little bit of a Threesome (NO DESTIEL in this one), Some Fluff at the end, and I think that’s it.
Word Count: 2,966
Beta: @winecatsandpizza
A/N: This is a repost from my old Tumblr blog, I hope you enjoy it!
Reblog Divider by: @cafekitsune
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Dean couldn’t keep Y/N quiet. Her pleasure-filled screams echoed through the halls of the bunker as he flicked his tongue rapidly over her clit, two of his skilled fingers curling inside her searching out her sweet spot. He was just glad that they were alone and didn’t have any close neighbors because he was sure the cops would have been called by now. Edging was one of his favorite things to do to her. Dean loved seeing her beg. He always thought she begged pretty.
“Oh God, please… Dean, please! Need to cum…”
Dean knew she was close. The way her needy moans became pants as her walls started to tighten around his thick digits, it was his key to stop. He pulled out of her, chuckling at her low whimper. 
“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Sweetheart, I didn’t give you permission yet. You gotta be a good girl. Only good girls get what they want. Think you can do that for me?”
Y/N’s chest was heaving, and she swore the moment anything touched her throbbing clit she’d explode, but Dean always knew what she needed. Especially when she was in a submissive state like this. She felt Dean’s calloused hands slide slowly up her sides, goosebumps rising in their wake. His lips sucked at the pulse point just below her ear sending a shiver down her spine. 
“D-Dean…” 
His lips ghosted along the skin of her throat ever so lightly. It was getting hard for him to hold back himself, so he could only imagine how she was feeling. His fingers found her slick folds once again, her walls fluttering around nothing before he slid one into her. The action wasn’t anything near what she needed, but it was better than him not touching her at all. 
Y/N began to raise her hips to meet the lazy thrust of his finger. All she needed was a little bit more, just a little more, and she’d be soaring into pure bliss. Dean’s sound of disapproval brought her back to reality, and she almost sobbed when he pulled out of her. 
“Ah, Ah, Ah. Didn’t say you could move, darlin’.”
“Fuck, please… please Dean. I-I need it.”
Just as Dean was about to give in and grant the release they both needed, a flutter of wings sounded in the corner of the room. Y/N scrambled up the bed, covering herself with the sheet just as Dean threw his black t-shirt on and grabbed his pistol off the nightstand. 
“Y/N? Is everything alright? I heard you calling for De-”
The familiar figure of Castiel stood clad in his usual attire looking halfway between confused and embarrassed as he took in the scene before him. His head tilted slightly before he spoke again, his attention fixed on Dean curiously. 
“Dean, was it you that was causing Y/N to cry out in distress?”
Y/N watched as Dean put his hands on his hips, rolling his eyes. 
“Dammit, Cas … Y/N wasn’t distressed. She was enjoyin’ herself.”
Cas’ eyes narrowed to thin slits finally realizing that they were completely naked save for Dean’s tee. He walked forward slightly, picking up Dean’s boxers for a moment before dropping them back onto the pile of clothes on the floor. 
“Oh, I understand now Dean. This is how humans participate in the act of intercourse. My apologies for interrupting.”
Y/N watched as Cas awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other before looking at Dean expectantly. 
“Cas? You okay, buddy? I was kinda hoping to get back to uh … well, ya know …”
Cas’ blue eyes wandered over their bare skin slowly, and Y/N didn’t miss the hint of redness that tinted his cheeks.
“Dean? I would very much like to learn how to make Y/N enjoy herself as you did. Can you teach me?”
Y/N’s gaze darted to Dean’s as he looked at her, the silent question was understood and she nodded slightly. A moment later, Dean stood from his spot at the foot of the bed and walked slowly towards his angel friend. Cas looked at him curiously as the fabric of his signature blue tie slid through the hunter’s thumb and index finger. 
“Well, first things first Cas, you’re wearing too many clothes.”
He looked crestfallen at Dean, grasping the lapel of his trench coat lovingly. 
“I like my clothing Dean. I don’t see why it would matter if I took all of it off or not.”
Y/N held back a laugh, shaking her head as Dean scrubbed a hand across his face. 
“Cas, buddy, you gotta be naked. It’s uhh … it’s easier to …” 
He sighed heavily, the annoyance thick in his tone.
“Trust me on this, Cas. Okay? It’ll make Y/N happy.”
Moments later, the ever-so-powerful angel of the Lord stood there in nothing but his white boxers. Y/N hadn’t realized just how muscular he was underneath all the layers of clothing he normally wore. His biceps were notably distinguished, his chest looked firm, and his deeply defined Adonis belt was deliciously inviting. 
“I still don’t see how my lack of clothing would make Y/N feel pleasure, Dean.”
Just as Dean let out another exasperated sigh, Y/N patted the bed welcomingly and scooted over. 
“C’mere Cas, let me show you what Dean’s talkin’ about.”
The angel stole a hesitant glance at Dean, watching him nod towards the bed. Cas swallowed thickly and made his way over to where Y/N laid invitingly. 
Cas watched as her delicate hand patted the thin fitted sheet. Her fingers sliding over the fabric made his pulse quicken. It wasn’t until Dean sat on the end of the bed that he came to his senses. 
“Go on, Cas. You have to feel how smooth her skin is. Y/N’s got the prettiest skin doesn’t she?” 
It’s true that Cas always admired how beautifully smooth it looked. He just didn’t think he would ever get this opportunity. Celestial beings weren’t supposed to participate in acts like this. Sexual desires rarely crossed his mind, mainly because it was wired into his genetic code to serve God. 
Ever so slowly he extended his hand, allowing it to come to rest on Y/N’s bare hip. Not only was her skin soft, but this simple touch seemed to electrify his body. The celestial energy within him made everything more heightened. An instinct he never thought he would’ve possessed took over. 
Y/N returned the gesture by stroking her fingertips along the side of his cheek. She watched as Cas closed his eyes, the initial contact making him shiver. He’d never been touched so intimately before. The sensations from it alone caused his breath to hitch, and she hadn’t even got him completely naked yet. He hadn’t even noticed Dean move to the chair in the corner until his gruff voice broke the silence in the room, egging him on. 
“Yeah, buddy that’s it. Kiss her next. See if you can find the spot on her neck that drives her absolutely wild.”
Y/ N’s gaze flitted from the angel’s slightly parted lips to his cerulean eyes. It made desire begin to pool in her abdomen seeing him like this. She’d always had feelings for Cas, but it never seemed possible that she would be able to explore those desires. His mouth descended onto her neck, kissing and sucking at her soft skin. 
Y/N’s back arched into his toned chest at its own accord, his lips continuing their journey south. His ocean-colored eyes looked up through his thick lashes at her reaction to his kisses. It never occurred to him how such a small gesture could have such an effect on someone. He wanted more, needed to see Y/N come completely apart for him. 
Cas marveled at her beautiful figure laid out before him. Beads of sweat collected in the valley between her breasts, her chest rising and falling as she looked down at him with want. He gracefully kissed his way back up to her bowtie lips, capturing them in a passionate caress. His tongue danced with hers expertly, the thickening of his cock evident against her upper thigh. 
The moment his lips left hers a needy whine fell from her lips. Y/N looked over at Dean and felt her walls clench again. Seeing him fully naked again with his cock in his hand, hard and leaking, drove her absolutely wild. Her body began to shake again, her hands fisting the sheets. 
“P-Please… I… I can’t… I need…”
Dean chuckled as Cas looked over at him with slight confusion etched in his features. He bit his lip, nodding at the angel to keep going as he slowly increased the speed of his hand on his cock. 
“Dean, did I do something wrong? Y/N seems to be in distress again.”
A low moan fell from the elder Winchester’s lips. It was getting harder to focus on being a teacher when he was getting the hottest live show he’d ever seen. Eventually, he shook his head and tried desperately to form a coherent sentence. 
“Nah buddy, I bet her pussy’s soaked. Just look at the way she’s breathin’. You see the way her eyes roll back in her head just from your hands and mouth touching her? That’s just the tip of the iceberg, Cas. You really wanna hear Y/N lose it, then you gotta find her sweet spot.”
Dean stood up and joined his angelic friend on the bed, carefully spreading Y/N’s legs. He showed Cas his middle and ring fingers for a moment before dipping them into the slick folds of her sex. Cas didn’t miss how her back arched off the bed or the way she whimpered. Dean didn’t keep them inside her long though. This wasn’t his show anymore, but he wasn’t upset. If he was honest with himself, teaching turned him on more than he thought it would.
“You see that? Now you try…”
Cas slid his left hand up Y/N’s thigh, his fingertips ghosting over the goosebumps on her skin. He didn’t miss how she sucked in a breath the moment his fingers grazed her folds. Dean was right, she was very wet. Ever so slowly, he began to smooth them up and down, his cock throbbing in his boxers every time a new plea fell from her mouth. 
“Is this her sweet spot, Dean?” 
His hand never faltered as his blue eyes met Dean’s lust-blown ones. The hunter shook his head and bit his lip, his voice thick with arousal as he spoke. 
“Not quite, Cas. I’ll help you find it though. Those two fingers you’re touchin’ her with? Push them inside her. Then, I want you to curl them upwards.”
Cas did as he was told, and the moment he curled his fingers the prettiest moan he’d ever heard filled the room like a prayer.
“Oh, Cas!... M-More… please!”
Cas didn’t have to be told twice. Virgin or not, he could tell he’d found the spot that drove her crazy. He began to rub his fingers along the spot inside her, his other hand rubbing his own arousal through his boxers to gain some relief. Dean praised him, egging him on as he used his thumb to draw circles around her clit. 
“That’s it, Cas. Fuck... keep moving your hand like that, and she’ll cum in no time. You think we should let her? You wanna see her squirt? She taste’s like Heaven.”
Cas wasn’t sure what Dean meant by that, but he loved the way Y/N’s walls squeezed around his fingers. He continued to thrust his fingers in and out, a little faster each time. His eyes went wide as he watched Dean lowered his mouth towards where his hand was.
“I’m about to show you another spot, Cas. This one’s called her clit. Y/N’s about to become putty in our hands. Ready, buddy?” 
Cas nodded, licking his lips as Dean closed his mouth over Y/N. Almost instantaneously he felt her walls clamp around his fingers. He couldn’t believe he’d never experienced anything like this before. Why would his Father keep something this pleasurable hidden from his brothers and sisters for so long? A few seconds later, Cas felt something wet gush over his vessel’s hand. 
“Oh, fuck! C-Cas…. Dean I… I’m gonna… Right there!... OH, FUCK!!”
Dean sat back on his heels, his chin glistening with Y/N’s juices. A smirk formed on his lips before he gestured to where Cas’ hand was. 
“Good job, buddy. You know, for an angel you’re not too bad at this. Taste her, Cas. Then, I wanna see you fuck her.” 
Cas did as instructed and slowly removed his fingers from Y/N’s heat. He curiously observed the way they glistened with her wetness for a moment before sucking them between his lips. His eyes fluttered closed as he tasted her. Dean was right, she was delicious and he needed more. Before he could stop himself, he settled between her quivering legs. His instincts took over and soon he was devouring her like it was the only thing keeping him alive. 
“Sh-Shit! CAS!! Ohholyshityes… yes… YES!” So good… Oh, you’re so good! AH!” 
Dean’s jaw went slack as he watched the scene play out before him. His cock jerked in his hand, and he began to jerk himself faster. The coil of his arousal tightening with each passing moment he watched Cas work Y/N over. 
“Jesus, Cas… Look at you, making her a complete mess with your mouth. Fuck… yeah, make her sweet pussy cum again… C’mon, buddy… you can do it. Make her scream…”
His words gave him the fuel he needed. He closed his mouth over the same spot Dean had before and sucked. He could quickly tell that she was sensitive, so as if on queue he used his grace to hold Y/N in place while he moved his tongue in circles across her bundle of nerves. 
“Ca...Cas… Cas, OhmyG-... M’gonna… Fuck, I’m gonna… CAS!!!”
He released her clit and sat up next to where Dean was standing. His pupils fully engulfing the blue of his eyes. His cock was painfully hard in the confines of his boxers, so he took a moment to remove them. 
“Cas, I think she’s ready for you. God, I can’t wait to see you fuck her and watch her cum with you buried inside her.” 
Cas had never had something so filthy be spoken to him, but it unlocked something inside him. Something primal that needed to be sated, and it was something only Y/N could provide him. He positioned himself between her legs and pushed inside her, not stopping until his hips met hers. He heard her cry out and stopped, his eyes looking down into hers as he waited for her to adjust to him. 
“Please… please, Cas… fuck me…”
The moment the words left her lips, he gave in and began a punishing pace. Dean marveled at the way Y/N looked from this angle. He knew he wasn’t going to last like this. Seeing his best friend fuck the girl he loved senselessly would be his undoing.
He stood there fucking himself into his hand while the most obscene noises filled his ears. It all became too much, the sound of skin slapping against skin, the stream of Enochian coming from Castiel, and the sound of Y/N begging for him to cum sent him over the edge. Thick ropes of his release coated her chest and neck as he gripped the headboard for support. 
“Mmm, fuck Cas… Yeah, buddy… fuck her just like that… She feels amazing, doesn’t she? That tight pussy squeezing your cock like a vice. She’s close, I can tell.” 
He leaned down close to her ear and flicked his tongue over her earlobe. 
“You like when Cas fucks you, sweetheart? His cock feels good splitting you open… I can tell. You gonna cum for us? Gonna cum all over him?”
The moment Y/N’s walls fluttered around Cas he was a goner. With a guttural cry, he stilled inside her, his release filling her completely. 
For a few moments, no one said anything. It was all just heavy breathing and the occasional whimper from Y/N. Dean broke the silence and ran a hand through his sweat-slicked hair before slipping back into his boxers. 
“That was… wow… We gotta do that more often. He padded across the room to the door and gave the Cas and Y/N a lopsided smile. “I’m gonna go get cleaned up. You two should do the same and then we can talk about all this.”
He was gone seconds later, but before Y/N could move to get up herself, Cas shook his head.
“Allow me.”
With a quick snap of his fingers, they were both clean and back in their clothes. She smiled at him and threaded her fingers with his.
“That was amazing, Cas. I… I don’t know what we do from here, but I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.”
Cas smiled and leaned down to kiss her temple.
“I may be somewhat ignorant of intimate feelings, but Dean seemed pleased with what we just did together.” 
The two made their way to the Bunker’s library completely sated. If you’d told Y/N a year ago that she’d be fucked into oblivion by an angel of the Lord while one of the most beautiful hunters that ever existed watched, she would have laughed. Now? Now, it was safe to say that anything can happen, and she couldn’t wait for Dean to give Cas another lesson.
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The Dangers of Hope Ch. 3
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Series Summary: When Y/N shows up at Camp Chitaqua with her little girl in tow, her bloodshot eyes leave no doubt that she's infected. Or is she? Everything Dean has come to know for certain over the last five hellish years, is about to be challenged.
Pairings/Characters in the series: Endverse!Dean x Reader, Emma (OFC), Castiel, Sam Winchester, Lucifer, Michael, Zachariah, Risa, Johnston (OMC), Patrick (OMC), Theresa (OFC), other survivors and soldiers.
Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence, some gore, angst, smut, fluff all the usual for a series of mine. ❤️ Endverse!Dean (that's a warning for his anger and callousness as well as his extreme hotness. 😁) Each chapter will have their own specific warnings.
Chapter Warnings: None really. Angst. Dean being a bit of an asshole. A brief, near sexual encounter. Smidge of fluff.
Word Count: 3,654
A/N: So, I've had this idea for quite a while. Basically since I watched The Last of Us. I loved Pedro in the role of Joel, but I kept thinking how incredible Jensen would have been. Which then made me think of how amazing he was as Endverse!Dean which then led me to this idea. Lol! I've stolen the premise of Ellie's storyline from TLOU, but made her a grown up, a reader insert, and a love interest for Dean.
If you've never seen TLOU, don't worry - you don't need to have seen it to understand this story. 😊
I've taken some liberties with the Endverse in my story, changed a few things from canon, but kept lots of things too.
I sincerely hope you enjoy the story. It will be ten chapters and I will do my very best to post one chapter every weekend. ❤️
A/N 2: So, here I am with chapter 3. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for all the very kind comments that this series has received so far. You're all fabulous.
Series Master List || Tag Lists
The dividers below were created by @saradika
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The next morning Dean was sitting at the table in his tent, listening to the camp waking up around him, when his tent flap opened and Cas strolled in. Dean rolled his eyes.
“Jesus, we gotta put up a piece of wood on the tent poles or something so people can knock.” He said in a surly and growly, early morning voice. When Cas didn’t respond, he challenged him with an even surlier tone. “What? Why are you here?”
Cas walked further into the tent. “I saw you gave Y/N back her daughter.” Dean raised his hand and then dropped it, conceding the point. “And,” Cas continued, raising his hand in the air and waving it slightly, “no more manacles.”
Dean spread his arms wide. “These are all things I already know, Cas; why are you telling me this?”
Cas shrugged slightly. “So, can I assume this means you no longer think she’s going to turn into a monster at any minute?”
Dean blew out a puff of air. “It means, she’s been here a week, and hasn’t turned yet. And since that isn’t really something that happens to people who get bit, I think I can be reasonably certain she won’t turn, randomly, out of the blue one day. And I gave her back her kid so she can look after her, and I can get Risa back as a soldier instead of a nanny.”
Cas wore a very enthusiastic expression as he moved closer. “Come on, even you have to admit that this is exciting.”
Dean arched a brow. “Exciting?”
Cas’ voice became awestruck. “Dean, this is the most hopeful sign we’ve had in…years!”
“Aw, don’t come at me with that hopeful bullshit!” Dean’s scowl and fierce countenance was immediate and slightly intimidating, even to the angel. 
“Hope is nothing but a fucking lie, okay? We know it. We HOPED we could stop Lilith breaking seals and we didn’t, we HOPED we could stop the apocalypse, but we failed at that too. We HOPED we could save everyone, and well, we’re doing a pretty piss poor job of that, aren’t we? Every single time we go out on a raid, I hope we come back with the same number of people we left with, but it doesn’t happen very often, does it? We hoped -” 
Dean cut himself short and swallowed hard, lowering his voice. “We hoped that Sam would be strong enough to say no, but…he wasn’t. I hoped I could save him. And-” He cut himself off again and rubbed a hand hard across his face. 
“So just don’t come at me with ‘hopeful’.” Dean said, sneering the word.
He tapped his fingers against his chest. “Cause I gotta live in the reality of this situation. And look, if you wanna hide away from that reality, you wanna get blitzed and bombed every day, and pretend like you’re some kind of sexual guru, fuck around with dozens of girls, I don’t really give a shit. Okay? Do it. But I,” he banged his chest with his whole fist this time, “I have to live in the reality of our lives.”
Dean stood up and stepped closer to Cas, swinging his arm out sideways. “And the reality is I have no fucking clue why that woman hasn’t turned.” He shrugged dismissively. “Maybe the person who bit her wasn’t fully turned themselves, or maybe they didn’t fully break the skin so it didn’t take completely. Who knows. All I know is that she’s probably not gonna turn and so now we’ve got one more mouth to feed. Two, actually.” He said holding up two fingers. “And two more people draining our resources.”
He stepped back and turned away, giving Cas his profile. “That’s the reality. So you wanna join me in it, great. If not,” He turned his head to look at him, lifting his hand towards the entrance, “there’s the door. Or, you know, the tent flap.”
He dropped down onto the chair he’d vacated and rubbed a hand across his lips. He looked up when Cas spoke softly. 
“I don’t wanna live in this reality, Dean. I just can’t anymore. So I choose hope, I choose to be hopeful that maybe she marks a change, maybe things can be different. I’m telling you, this reality isn’t the only option.”
Dean shook his head. “It’s my only option. I learned a long time ago, and you should’ve too - hope is dangerous. Reality can’t hurt you like hope can.”
Cas’ expression was discouraged and disappointed as he nodded, looking away from Dean. He said nothing more as he turned and walked away.
***
A little while after Cas left, Dean moved out to his campfire and cooked and ate his ration of eggs and potatoes. As he drank his coffee, he was actively trying to push the argument with Cas out of his head. He had a camp to lead, he didn't need this crap clouding his judgment.
It was ridiculous to think the woman represented some kind of new hope for mankind. He rolled his eyes at the very notion.
Still, he found himself calling out to Johnston as the soldier walked by. The man stopped abruptly and turned fearful eyes on Dean. It drove Dean a little crazy that after more than two years of Johnston serving the camp, of protecting it and helping to run the day-to-day work and activities there, he still seemed petrified of Dean. 
I can't possibly be that scary, Dean thought with a deep scowl. Not like I've had him flogged for looking at me wrong or something.
Dean rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the fear radiating from the other man.
“You settled Y/N and her daughter?” He asked.
Johnston's blue eyes were slightly bulging and his prominent Adam's apple moved up and down as he swallowed. “Yes, sir.”
Dean waited a minute for him to elaborate before prodding him gruffly. “And?”
The other man seemed at a loss and Dean snapped his fingers impatiently. “And where did you put them?”
Understanding finally lit in Johnston's eyes and he began nodding. “Oh, yes sir. I put them in the southwest corner. Fourth row, the tent on the end.” He seemed proud to get that much out. But then he raised a finger. “Oh, the tent is red.”
Dean nodded and waved at him. “As you were.” 
Johnston saluted (even though Dean had told him a million times not to) and hurried on. Dean sighed deeply and without thinking about it too much, he headed in the direction of the red tent. 
When he got there he shouted out a hello, feeling slightly foolish and vowing then and there to make it a project to put some kind of wood near tents’ openings so people could knock.
The flap opened and Y/N's face lit up with a beaming smile when she saw him. “Hi!” 
Not knowing what to do with her enthusiasm, he just nodded. There was a slightly awkward moment and then Emma, her big blue eyes staring up at Dean, poked her head out from behind her mom, keeping her arms tightly wrapped around her hips and leaning her head into her side.
Y/N lifted her arm a little so Emma could shuffle out from behind her a bit more. She combed down Emma's slightly flyaway curls with her fingers and then settled her hand on the little girl's thin shoulders.
She gestured to Dean. “Say hi to Mr. Winchester.”
The little one just pressed closer and looked away from Dean to bury her face in her mother's side.
Y/N gave him a slightly chagrined look. “She isn't usually this shy.” She said by way of apology. 
But Dean simply shook his head. Unlike Johnston, he understood all too well why this blue-eyed moppet was scared of him. She'd watched him nearly end her mother's life - not something she was ever likely to forget.
Dean hated that that realization came with a trace of guilt. Feeling very annoyed with himself, he straightened up and nodded curtly.
“Good.” He said succinctly, responding to nothing. “I just wanted to make sure you were settled properly.”
He turned in an abrupt about face and started walking away. 
“Dean, wait!” Y/N called out to him. He turned back to see her wave Emma back into the tent and head towards him. When she reached him she wore her bright smile again, and he frowned deeper as a result.
“I wanted to ask you about something.”
Dean said nothing, waiting for her to continue. She seemed to be a little nervous, fiddling with her hair. She finally clasped her hands in front of her and continued. 
“So, I was talking to Eric?” She said as though it was a question. Dean did give her a puzzled look.
“Eric?” He asked.
Y/N had opened her mouth to continue talking, but then closed it and gave her head a shake, pointing to the side at nothing in particular. 
“Eric Johnston? The…soldier that brought us to this tent and helped us set it up.”
Dean nodded in recognition. Yes, he remembered now, that was his first name. He never used it. “Right.” He waved her on. 
“And I was asking about school for Emma, but he said there isn't one.”
Dean shook his head. “No, the parents, guardians, they look after that themselves.”
Y/N nodded. “Yes, but I was thinking…well, I was a third grade teacher in the…before.” She thumbed behind her as though their former, normal lives were just right behind them, around the corner, instead of existing eons ago.
She shrugged. “So, I was thinking that maybe I could start a kind of school for the kids here. Eric figured there were about 35 or 40 of them. So I thought we could hold lessons somewhere outside most days, but if the weather's bad, maybe we could use the main cabin.”
Dean was scowling harder now, so she rushed on. “It would only be for a few hours a day. Wouldn't be anything spectacular, but it could help them with reading and math, and just some basics. Keep the kids' minds occupied and give their parents a couple of hours on their own.”
She shrugged. “It's nothing much, but it might help people feel a little more hopeful about the future.” She finished with another bright smile.
Dean felt his ire rise with that word again - hopeful. This woman was going to upset everything, tip the precarious balance of the camp on its head. 
He shook his head angrily. “We don't do shit like that. This isn't a fucking gated community, okay? These are survivors who get by together. That's it.”
Y/N's eyes were so earnest it almost hurt to look at her. “But, don't you see, it could be a community. Not gated, but open. We could do more for each other than just survive.”
Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “Look, if you're unhappy with being here, we can happily help you on your way.”
Y/N raised her hands. “No, of course not, that's not what-”
Dean cut her off with a cold, hard voice. “And you can't teach kids like this.” He waved a hand towards the red rings encircling her irises. “You'd scare the shit outta them. Take one look at you and freak out, thinking you're gonna turn into a monster any minute.”
That pulled Y/N up short and Dean could see by her slight flinch that his words had hit home. She was quiet a minute and her smile was dimmed as she nodded.
“Right. That's…no, you're right.” She gave an imitation of a chuckle. “There aren't many mirrors around, so I…sometimes I forget about…” she gestured to her eyes.
She shook her head. “I was just trying to find a way to be helpful, you know.” She shrugged. “But yeah…” She trailed off and Dean felt a sick gnawing sensation in his stomach as she gave a final dull smile. 
“Okay, well thanks.” She said as she turned away. Though what she could have possibly been thanking him for, he had no idea.
He thought about Cas’ disappointed expression, and Y/N's bent smile and he gritted his teeth. This morning was not going well for him.
The day didn’t get much better from there. He spent most of it planning their next raid for canned goods. They were running low, and it was September already. Over the next couple of months they’d have to make sure they had whatever they needed for the winter. Once the snow hit, the winter roads were sometimes impassable for weeks at a time. 
They were having to go further and further out from the camp to find supplies. The area was becoming picked clean. There were four or five other, smaller, groups of survivors within about a hundred square miles of their camp. For the most part they all rubbed along together alright, pretty much just leaving a big buffer of space between the camps, and leaving each other alone.
However, Dean was starting to worry about what would happen now that resources and supplies around them were starting to run out. In this last year, they’d started having to drive hours and hours away from camp to find un-ransacked grocery stores and restaurants in the abandoned cities. They could manage it because of their size, but some of the smaller groups had very few working vehicles, making it harder for them to travel. Dean worried what would happen when they got desperate. 
He wanted to be ready for winter.
So, he tried to spend the day planning the best route to hit as many cities as they could without hitting too many known Croat hives, or cleaned out cities. But he kept getting interrupted by his soldiers. The concerns of the camp were unending, and sometimes felt completely overwhelming. 
The morning kept being interrupted by issues and grievances his soldiers brought him from some of the camp inhabitants. He tried to put out as many fires as he could, while continuing to plan the raid.
Then he ended up spending far too much of the afternoon talking about drainage and irrigation with the young guy who used to be an engineering student, and an old farmer who’d spent his whole life in the fields. The two very different men were teaming up to try and see about making bigger winter crop plots this year. They’d grown some winter vegetables last fall and winter, and even that small amount of fresh food had made a big difference in the health of the campers. So this year they were hoping for more. 
Finally the men went off to plan some more and Dean folded up his maps. He hadn’t made much headway into the raid route, but the light was getting low; he’d have to come back to it. He fried up some spam and a few of the cooked, frozen potatoes they’d put up in the spring and sat beside his fire for a while before tossing water on it and going inside his tent. He lit a lantern and started to try and look at the maps again, but he was interrupted by Risa.
Dean lifted his chin towards her by way of greeting. She came forward and dropped a small piece of machinery on his table. “Here’s the piston for that Ford we towed back last week.” She said, referring to the truck they’d found abandoned on the side of the road with no owners in sight. “Should work.”
Dean nodded. “Great.”
Risa lingered a moment and then walked closer to him. “How are you?”
Dean shrugged. “Fine.”
She moved forward to stand between his legs and then reached out to run her hands over his cheeks and down his neck. She bent over and pressed a brief kiss to his lips.
“I miss you.” She said, her voice softer and more intimate than it ever was when they were soldier and commander. “You haven’t been to see me in weeks.”
“Sorry.” Dean said gruffly and then let her kiss him again, kissing her back for a moment before pulling away. 
Not willing to give up, Risa straddled his outstretched thighs and reached for his zipper. “It’s okay, I bet I can find ways to entice you back.” She said, dark brown eyes flashing with heat.
But Dean grabbed her hands and pulled them away. He kissed her briefly to try and ease the sting of his rejection. “Sorry, not tonight.” He nodded towards the maps on his table. “I’ve got shit I gotta finish.”
Risa bit into her lip, looking down at their hands entwined in his lap, and then nodding before she stood up. She lifted her mouth in a smile. “Yeah, sure. ‘Kay.” She nodded again and pointed to the piston as she left. “Let me know if that works.”
Dean sighed as his tent flap fell back into place. And that was the third person he’d disappointed today. Without his permission Y/N’s face floated into his mind. Despite what he’d said to her, he couldn’t deny how beautiful that face actually was. The red pigment in her eyes made no difference to that beauty.
He couldn’t erase the image of her crestfallen expression when he told her she’d scare the kids. That was complete bullshit and he knew it. Five seconds in her shiny presence and the kids would be eating out of her hand.
He growled slightly as he could feel himself caving. But would it really be so bad to let her teach the kids somewhere? They’d have to stay out of the way, and she’d have to keep them all quiet when they were together in a mob. But it might actually free their parents up for more of the endless tasks it took to maintain the camp.
If he let her do it, he’d have to make sure she knew he was only saying yes so that they could have the kids out of the way for a while. This wasn’t some hopeful mission for the future. It was just a practical solution for improving the camp.
He nodded. Yeah, I'll tell her tomorrow. 
But even as he though it, he got up and walked out of his tent, moving towards the southwest corner of the camp. Within a couple minutes he was standing in front of the red tent and again found himself clearing his throat and embarrassingly calling out a hello, like he was the Avon lady.
Y/N poked her head out of the tent and smiled. But she lowered her eyes a little and wouldn’t look directly at him. He wanted to punch himself.
“Hi.” She said softly, and then stepped out of the tent into the cool, late evening breeze. She waved towards the tent. “Emma’s sleeping.”
He nodded. She rubbed her arms and he frowned. “Didn’t they give you a jacket?” Then he noticed she was still wearing the grubby clothes she’d been wearing when she came. “And clean clothes?”
Y/N nodded and even in the dusky twilight Dean could see her blush. “Yes, but I realized…I’m all dirty.” She shrugged. “Nothing but basin baths for weeks. I’d like to get cleaner before I put on the clean clothes. One of your soldiers said there was a place where people went to bathe nearby. But he didn’t have time to take me.”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, there’s a river about four miles south of camp. It does the trick. I’ll take you tomorrow.” 
He scowled; he didn’t know where that offer had come from. He could have had one of his soldiers, or any other camper really, take her out to the river. But he didn’t rescind the offer and Y/N nodded happily.
“That would be wonderful.” She said rapturously. 
Dean nodded curtly again. “Yeah. And uh…you can do the school.” Y/N looked directly at him now and her face was surprised, but clearly thrilled. 
“Really?” 
He nodded and scowled. “Yeah, the kids'll get over it." He said with a nod to her red eyes. "But just make sure you all stay out of the way of the work in the camp. And let the parents know we’ll have some work for them during the hours their kids are gone. We can use the extra hands.”
Y/N nodded. “I’m sure they’ll be happy to help out where they can.”
Impulsively it seemed, she threw her arms around him, squeezing his arms tight to his sides as she hugged him. Shock coursed through him and he didn’t know how to move. Thankfully it was a brief hug and she was soon pulling away.
“Thank you so much, Dean. I’m so excited. I think it’s going to make a real difference. Just wait.”
As she bid him goodnight and bounced back into her tent, he shook his head, frowning deeply. 
Fuck, he thought, everything is too different already.
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Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @akshi8278 @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma
Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @deangirl96
Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @waywardcheshire
Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone
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destieltropecollection · 11 months
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DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 16 | Two Person Love Triangle
Secret Admirer | NannaT (AO3)
Rating: Mature Word Count: 5,627 Main Tags/Warnings: Valentine's Day, Fluff and angst, Secret admirer Summary: Cas has a secret admirer and it's driving Dean nuts
An Angel's Tale | @seidenapfel
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 30,175 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fanfic Writer Castiel, Fanartist Dean Winchester, Two Person Love Triangle, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, President Castiel (Supernatural), Custodian Dean Winchester, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Humor, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Dean Winchester, Canon Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Fix-It, Angel Wings, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Alcohol, Dean Winchester Has Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Mutual Pining, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester Summary: After being Dean’s roommate for over a decade, Castiel can’t go on like this anymore. He leaves their shared home and flees to Europe for a year, no longer able to deal with his feelings for his best friend in such close proximity. Left behind heartbroken and grieving, Dean distracts himself with Charlie’s favorite fantasy book series. Intrigued by the tale of an angel and a hunter, Dean stumbles into the realms of fandom and fanfic. For the first time since high school, he picks up his drawing utensils, and, not before long, signs up for a fandom big bang. Dean is thrilled to be paired with his favorite author. Chatting reveals that Dean isn’t the only one who is head over heels in love with his best friend. In jest, they make a deal: They confess their feelings to their friends, and if that doesn’t work out, they’ll try their luck with each other.
Go Down With This Ship | @porcupine-girl
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 31,354 Main Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings, Epistolary, Online Friendship, Online Romance, Tumblr, Characters Writing Fanfiction, Alternate Universe - Fans & Fandom, Two Person Love Triangle, Identity Reveal, Librarian Dean, Dom/sub, Dom Castiel, Light Bondage, Rimming, top cas/bottom dean (fun fact: This was the first fic on ao3 to use the two person love triangle tag! I found the term on TV Tropes.) Summary: Since he has to stay deep in the closet to protect his job as a children’s librarian in conservative Wichita, Kansas, Dean’s main outlet for sexual frustration is writing and reading slash fiction for his favorite show, Devil Boys. When he starts corresponding with AngelofThursday, another male slash writer in his ship, he really is just looking for friendship… but when it seems like more might be on the table, he’s not going to turn it down. If only he didn’t also have a crush on Cas, the hot volunteer at his library branch…
Salt & Iron | @abi-cosmos
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 36,221 Main Tags/Warnings: Human Castiel, Online relationship, Two person love triangle, Mutual pining, Depression, Drinking to cope, Love Confessions, Dom/sub undertones, Dean Winchester wears panties, Canon divergence, Hurt/Comfort Summary: Dean is lonely since Castiel became human. It’s been six months of throwing himself into cases, pining around the bunker, and radio silence ever since they parted ways. Charlie takes matters into her own hands, signing him up for a hunter’s networking website where he meets new hunter Steven. They start a friendship, Dean enjoys his online companionship and Steven seems to understand what he needs without ever having met him. When things heat up between the screens, Castiel is brought back into his life, and Dean soons finds himself face-to-face with secrets and sin.
Love, Dean | @friendofcarlotta
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 48,050 Main Tags/Warnings: Gay Dean Winchester, Closeted Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel, Closeted Castiel, Dean Winchester's First Time With a Man, Kid Fic, Top/Bottom Versatile Castiel/Dean Winchester, Threesome - M/M/M Summary: Dean has a job he’s good at, and people he loves. Really, he’s got most things a man in his thirties could wish for. He also has a huge secret: he’s gay. The only one who knows is his best friend Charlie. Dean is content to keep it that way, until he strikes up an anonymous email friendship with a colleague who’s also closeted and struggling to come out. As Dean’s feelings for his new friend grow, he begins to wonder if it might be time to let himself be seen.
Dear Western Red Cedar #2409 | @mittensmorgul
Rating: Mature Word Count: 63,433 Main Tags/Warnings: Modern AU, forest ranger/author!Dean, librarian!Cas, idiots to lovers Summary: For a decade, Dean had been living his dream life in Montana as a national park ranger. When Sam and Eileen followed him there a few years later, he had no idea how to tell them about his side gig as the author of a wildly popular series of novels loosely based on his own experiences. Well, minus the monster hunting. He never expected them to become bestsellers—or potentially a tv series, if his agent could only convince him to out his real identity. While Dean's also writing his latest bestseller on a deadline, a misunderstanding and his own social ineptitude leave him completely cut off, aside from his new pen pal who Dean only knows as Bluebird. Cas had spent the last two years desperate to hold Dean’s attention. Right when he felt they might be getting somewhere, Dean was called away on an emergency. Of course he had to go and lament about his troubles to a random tree, thanks to a distracting plaque inviting the public to participate in a new town project. To his surprise, he seems to hit it off— completely anonymously of course— with Western Red Cedar #2409.
American Rebels | @valandrawrites
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 78,973 Main Tags/Warnings: Professor Dean Winchester, Graduate Student Castiel, Goth Castiel, Tattooed Castiel, Pierced Castiel, 2 person love triangle, Identity Reveal, Idiots in Love, Anonymous Sex, Bathroom Sex, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Castiel and Jimmy Novak are Twins, Dean Winchester Has a Sexuality Crisis, Eventual Happy Ending, Dean/Cas Switch Bang 2022 Summary: Graduate student Castiel Novak shows up excited for his American Lit course titled *American Rebels* taught by the Dean himself! But the man who arrives is none other than Cas’ anonymous bathroom hookup from the summer. Professor Winchester cannot figure out why the hot, weird, tattooed, and pierced guy who fucked him within an inch of his life in the Roadhouse bathroom is in his favorite class. And why does he insist on using his full name every time he addresses him? Maybe Charlie can help… **This is based on a real story involving me and a Professor named Dean Flowers. He was not, as I later learned, actually the Dean. For the record, I did not have sex with Dean Flowers.
kept on climbing til our stars collided | @whaddyameanno
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 84,801 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Two Person Love Triangle, Alcohol usage, Recreational Drug Usage, mentions of medical procedures, Anesthesia mention, Panic Attacks Summary: Dean is a Youtuber. Castiel is a college student who gets introduced to his channel. Both Dean and Castiel also have unknowingly been talking to each other on their secret stan accounts for Dr. Sexy.
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casdeans-pie · 8 months
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Part 4 of Flustered Castiel Accidentally Explodes Lightbulbs And Causes Power Outages Especially When Dean's Fingers Are In His Hair
Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3.
Happy birthday to me! This is my birthday gift to myself so it's deliciously self indulgent for the final part. I honestly could have just kept going with this forever, I adore flustered!Cas and his angel powers lmao
This part got so big I couldn't put the whole chapter in the tumblr post sorry!
Taglist: @dreampencil , @mymisfitsbabe , @fivefeetfangirl , @kerryweaverlesbian , @give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back , @mooshroomister , @castielsbloodynose , @the-great-pumpkin-67 , @casavanse , @homoangel - thanks all for your interest, hope you like the conclusion!!
-----Read on AO3-----
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If stubbornness was a sin, Dean knew he would be going straight to hell when he died. Again.
There were a million reasons that Dean could think of for why Cas had distanced himself (that buzzed around his brain like insistent bees whenever he lay down to sleep at night) but if they didn’t talk about them then none of them were real. The ache in his chest at Cas’s absence, familiar from when he used to leave them for stretches at a time, felt like it dug in deeper and deeper with every passing day – but he still just couldn’t bring himself to talk to him about it.
The biggest surprise became the slow realisation that the saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ wasn’t just some made up cliché bullshit that people said to each other, because seeing Cas, even briefly before he scurried away, made Dean’s heart sing like a lovesick teenage girl.
Sam only suffered through so much before he started using his Sad-Sam-Eyes whenever he saw them both, hoping they would finally sort out whatever was going on between them, but he didn’t mention it otherwise. Somehow that made it even worse. If Sam told them to talk to each other, at least that could have been a good excuse. But no.
Dean had to do something on his own.
He had to.
He’d started all of this by being a jerk about Cas’s powers, so it was time to dip into that Dean Winchester Courage, have a real conversation about all of this, and face losing his best friend – the Angel that he loved – head on.
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Then they finally had a hunt together. Alone.
Dean’s bloody machete hung in a loose grip by his side as he kicked the toe of his boot at the decapitated body on the ground beside him. The head lay nearby.
“Think we finally got ‘em all,” Dean said with a grin. His clothes were covered in splashes of blood, and he could feel some drying on his cheek that he was itching to scratch off with his nail. “I love a good vamp nest clear-out, but if I’d have known there were gonna be this many, I would’ve brought Sam as extra back-up.” Dean didn’t want to mention that the reason he’d told Sam to stay behind in the first place was because he’d finally stopped being chickenshit scared about sorting this thing out with Cas. “Not that we didn’t handle it.” He gestured towards the headless bodies scattered around them with his machete.
Cas didn’t reply. He’d been quiet in the ride over and had kept his distance for the whole fight.
Okay. Time’s up. Time to do this. Dean took a deep breath through his nose and closed his eyes. “Cas, listen-”
“Dean!” Cas yelled, slamming into him just as the sound of a gunshot exploded nearby.
Dean went hurtling down as another gunshot rang out. He landed heavily – the floor winded him and disorientated him enough that he couldn’t get straight back up, and he shook his head rapidly to try to clear it.
There were sounds of Cas wrestling with the vampire nearby. Dean watched dazedly as the vampire snarled and bared his fangs as he threw a punch at Cas’s nose, and his fist connected with a thud. But that gave Cas the opportunity to wrench the gun out of the vampire’s weakened grasp, and he tossed it aside, making it skitter harmlessly across the floor into a dark corner of the warehouse.
Red bloomed through the top of Cas’s trench coat on his left shoulder.
“Cas!” Dean warned, finally scrambling to his feet just as the vampire grabbed Cas and threw him down with a hiss onto the dusty, blood-spattered floor.
The vampire loomed over him with an open mouth full of needle-sharp teeth just as Cas sat up with a grunt and threw up his hand with his palm out. Dean recognised the gesture, and he immediately braced himself for the blinding light of Cas’s angelic smitey powers, but only a faint sputtering glow emerged from his hand.
After a moment, where Cas stared at his hand in confusion, the vampire hissed and lunged.
He never got any further.
Dean’s machete swung in a clean shining arc through the vampire’s neck, and he collapsed in a heap like a puppet with cut strings. The spray of blood caught Cas, smattering his face and hair with even more crimson alongside what currently trickled out of his nose and soaked his shoulder.
Dean groaned in relief and threw the machete to the concrete floor with a clang. “Definitely the last one,” he declared with a deep breath. “Damn that got close for a second there. Come on, up you get.” Dean offered out a hand to help Cas, but he pushed himself up with a groan instead, pointedly not looking at the hand as if he hadn’t noticed it.
Dean tried to shrug it off again, just like he had all the other times that Cas refused to touch him recently, but he could feel the hurt burning in his throat and behind his eyes. He clenched his fist so tightly it almost hurt as he returned it to his side.
“You okay?” Dean asked instead with a frown, thinking of the gunshots, and noticing the blood stain on Cas’s shoulder increasing in size.
“Yes. The first bullet got me, but the second bullet missed. I think it went clean through. Didn’t hit anything vital.” Cas touched his shoulder and winced, then observed Dean – his blue eyes raking him up and down from head to foot. “What about you? Are you hurt?”
Dean shook his head, the mixture of hurt and concern and happiness at the closest attention he’d got from Cas in weeks making his words come out harsher than he intended when he snapped, “Nope. My bullet-proof friend pushed me out of the way, and then revealed that he’s not so bullet-proof today.”
Cas smiled ruefully. “Ah. Yes. Looks that way.” He dusted his trench coat off as best he could and lifted an arm to wipe his sleeve across his nose – though he only succeeded in smearing the dust and blood around. He closed his eyes and rubbed again.
Dean pushed down his confusing cocktail of emotions, like he always did, and forced on a smile. “You’re just making it worse, buddy. Why’s killing vamps always such a bloody job?” He reached over without thinking, while Cas was still rubbing at his nose. “Nose doesn’t look broken at least, but your shoulder’s probably gonna need stitches while you’re low on power like this.”
Dean’s fingers had barely even grazed the fabric on Cas’s shoulder before Cas flinched back violently.
The lights in the warehouse groaned and buzzed as they flickered and dimmed, and then just as quickly returned to normal.
Cas’s eyes were wide as he took another step back.
Dean felt all his confusion sharpen into a frustrated stab of white-hot anger. He gestured violently at the ceiling. “Okay. Y’know what. That’s it. Let’s talk. What the hell is going on with you, Cas? Why have you been avoiding me? What’s the deal with the lights?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing.”
“Nothing you need to know about.”
“Nothing I- are you even hearing yourself right now? You’re really gonna admit to keeping secrets again after everything we’ve been through? And- hey, what’s up with your face? What are you doing?”
Cas had screwed his eyes together so tight that it pinched his whole expression. “Concentrating.”
“On what? This conversation that you’re trying not to be in?”
“On using my Grace to heal my shoulder and clean all of this off, but it’s not…” Cas gritted his teeth and opened his eyes. They glowed faintly. “It’s not working.”
Dean took a deep breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Shit, Cas. You know you’re low on power right now, you really want to use up what little juice you got left before you get chance to recharge? The motel’s only twenty minutes away.” He scowled. “You can even sit in the back. Far away from me, like you want.”
Dean didn’t wait for a response, he turned, reached down for his abandoned machete, and stalked back to Baby.
By the time Cas finally got into the car – in the back – Dean had already texted Sam to tell him that the nest had been cleared out and they would be spending the night at the motel.
They’d be back at the bunker tomorrow, and then Cas could keep avoiding him like before. Or maybe he’d finally just admit that he wanted to leave… and he’d go. The thought made Dean clench the steering wheel with a grip that made his knuckles white.
He couldn’t imagine his life without Cas in it.
The ride to the motel was tense and silent except for Baby’s engine that Dean pushed harder than he should. (The twenty-minute ride only took them ten. Cas didn’t comment on it.)
As soon as they were through the door Dean toed off his shoes, flicked on all the lights, and went to wash his hands in the bathroom. He didn’t look back to see what Cas was doing. It was none of his business. If he didn’t want to talk about it, then what did he care. (He tried to tell himself, even as the ache in his chest pounded and felt cavernous.)
Dean splashed some water on his face and gripped the sides of the grubby sink. Water plinked pink from his chin into the chipped basin, as the vampire blood washed away down the plughole.
After a deep breath Dean grabbed a towel and rubbed it over his face, careful not to inhale at the same time – he’d learned a long time ago that it was best not to know what motel towels smelt like – and reached for the first aid kit he always left in the bathroom when they went on hunts.
Sufficiently calmed down, and feeling less like his heart was caught in the vice grip of a homicidal ghost, Dean turned and emerged back into the main room. He froze mid-step at what he saw: Cas had his head in his hands, perched on the edge of his bed, while the blood stains from his bullet wound were soaking through his coat down his arm. He hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees, and there seemed to be a particularly troubled tenseness to the set of his shoulders. Even more than usual. Despite their strained relationship recently, it cut Dean deeply to see him like that – so clearly suffering and so human.
Dean sat heavily onto his own bed opposite Cas. The old springs creaked loudly and protested at the sudden weight. “Alright. Coat off.”
Cas startled and snapped his head up. The lamp beside his bed flickered weakly. “What?”
Dean’s usual enthusiasm for the phenomenon of the flickering lights wasn’t his priority this time, and he pushed his curiosity aside. “Stitches,” Dean said simply, brandishing the first aid kit.
“I don’t need them,” Cas grumbled, looking away. “Once my Grace has recharged enough it will heal on its own.”
“Oh okay, so you’re just going to wait and see if your mojo recharges faster than you bleed? And you’re, what, expecting me to just sit here while we find out? Because I am not okay with that.”
“Yes.”
“Cas. Just let me put some damn stitches in your damn shoulder.”
“No.” The muscles in Cas’s jawline clenched.
Dean scowled as he ran a hand through his hair. It was sticky and matted with drying blood, but that was nothing new. “Let me put it this way. You either take off your coat and shirt willingly, or I will tackle you to that bed and remove them myself” – the lamp flickered again – “so help me God, don’t think that I won’t. Your choice.” Dean had his eyes locked on Cas’s narrowed ones. “I will not let you suffer when I can do something about it. Yeah, you might heal it up yourself in an hour or two, but I’m not going to sit here watching you bleeding and in pain, when I can help. Don’t ask me to.”
“Dean… This is just… It’s a bad idea.”
“A bad idea? To stop you from bleeding out? C’mon man, you’re always healing me up after hunts, let me repay the favor for once. Besides, you took the shot meant for me – it should be me sitting there with the bullet hole.”
Cas went suddenly pale, and his eyebrows drew together in a serious line. “If it were, I would use up whatever Grace I had left to heal you.”
Oh.
Dean blinked in surprise.
Huh. But Cas had been avoiding him so much lately... He’d assumed he didn’t care anymore. “Uh,” Dean faltered, “no, that wouldn’t be okay either. I wouldn’t want that. But maybe I should teach you some basic first aid now that your mojo gets patchy sometimes.” He shook his head. That would require them to be in the same room for more than five minutes. Stupid suggestion. “Look, if you’d want to heal me that badly if we were swapped over here, that’s what I want to do to you right now, get it?”
“I um. I think so.” The line between Cas’s eyebrows grew deeper. “It’s fine now anyway. It barely hurts,” he lied, gripping his shoulder tightly.
“Sure. Okay, Black Knight.”
Cas squinted.
“The Black Knight – ‘‘tis but a flesh wound’? Guess you didn’t get Monty Python in the pop-culture upload. We’ll add it to the list we-” But Dean remembered that they didn’t watch movies together anymore. “Doesn’t matter. Just take your damn coat off, you stubborn son of a bitch.”
That finally cracked a smile onto Cas’s pale face. His lips twitched and the corners of his eyes crinkled endearingly.
Dean felt a strong flare of affection at seeing Cas’s smile, after seeing him looking so defeated before, that it immediately softened all of Dean’s concern-masked-as-irritation and he found himself smiling back. He’d missed this. So damn much.
“I’ll patch you up,” Dean said gently, “then you get dibs on the first shower, since you’re the one covered in the most blood. Winchester tradition.”
“I don’t need-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, you can just magic your mess away when your power’s back on, but you’re really just gonna sit here like that until then?”
Cas looked down at himself. “You have a point.”
“Always do. Looks like you’ll just have to enjoy shitty motel water pressure like the rest of us.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows. “And going first means you get the hottest water.”
“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said.
“Then we can both go to sleep so you can recharge your batteries. You can sleep when you’re like this, right? But stitches first. After that there’ll be no touching involved,” Dean added, before he could stop himself. As much as he enjoyed talking to Cas again, it only served as a depressing reminder that they weren’t like this anymore. He gave a sad, weak little laugh, and even he could hear the pain in his voice when he said, “Y’don’t even have to look at me.”
Cas immediately slid off his bed with a rustle, and he was on his knees in front of Dean in the time it took for him to open his mouth to ask what was happening. His eyes shined wetly in the dingy motel room lighting as he gazed up intensely – vulnerable and raw – into Dean’s eyes. “Dean, no. This wasn’t supposed to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you,” Cas said in a voice thick with emotion. “Doing this – distancing myself… It was supposed to make things better, but it… only made everything worse. I hate being apart from you. I hate it. This wasn’t- it’s not- it’s not your fault.” He spoke haltingly, like he was struggling. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I- I don’t know how to explain-”
They were closer than they had been in weeks, and yet Dean could still feel the distance. His heart sunk. “This is starting to feel a whole lot like the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, man.”
Cas scrunched his face up, and Dean knew he was trying to think of a way to say what he meant. He wondered if Angels weren’t very big talkers in their true forms. It was reminiscent of when they first met, and how Cas used to struggle with sarcasm and slang.
Cas already told him once that he’d only started to feel real, strong emotions (Dean called them his Real Boy Feelings) since rescuing him from Hell, so it made sense that he still struggled sometimes. And anyway, Dean had been human his whole life and it wasn’t like he was much better at the whole sharing your feelings crap.
Cas finally looked up through his lashes at him – his expression wary. “Hold out your hand, Dean.”
“What?”
“Hold out your hand, please. I can show you what’s been going on.”
---- Read the rest on AO3 ----
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lillarauy · 17 days
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ㅤ໒꒰ྀི ⸝⸝⸝ ꒱ა  .    DESTIEL ⭑
At first, it was all about benefiting the Almighty. Cas is the angel of Lord who brought Dean Winchester back from the brink to stop the coming apocalypse.
And so it went on, Castel appearing to the Winchester Brothers to announce another case or lead for the great vessel Michael and his brother vessel Lucifer.
In the future, when the apocalypse did come, Castiel trusted the Elder Winchester wholeheartedly, only because a thin thread of connection had formed between them over all that time, entailing affection.
Cas was quite human, blindly sacrificing his own priorities, putting the Winchesters first. Even those little moments when he'd had his first drink, even almost sleeping with a girl, a completely new experience for an angel.
A term he hadn't considered in human society before. But now, he could tell that the Winchesters were more than his friends, they were family. And the angel himself is happy to know that.
It was all Dean's influence, and it would be foolish to say that the elder Winchester means nothing to an angel. Certainly not a romantic interest, Castel feels a kindred spirit in him, someone he's destined to be with for the rest of his life, his friend.
To Dean, Cas was at first a skid-row angel, a god that no one had ever seen, only a handful of people could boast of having had a word with the creator of all things. Winchester had been cautious as long as he could; he had not believed the angels to the last, much less their signs and plans for him.
But the guy didn't notice how from being an angel on god's errand, Cas became a confidant to him.
Dean was very careful to show affection for him, after all Castel was an angel, too stupid to understand humans, so Dean chose the strategy of building a wall between them.
One day the wall came down, and it was replaced by a bond, a friendly, strong bond. Dean was certainly not the kind of man who could show his emotions, the kind of man who could trust to the end, it just wasn't his thing.
There was so much more Dean could have said than he did in all the time he spent apart.
Even in those moments when he realized that Castiel would never return, and he himself was up to his neck in a quagmire of doubt, he only listened silently to the angel's confession as tears rolled from the saint's eyes, human tears.
"I love you." - Cas said then, and after that, it was the last one before he disappeared.
Dean could only choke quietly on his own tears, realizing that Cas was like a part of him, like he was Sam, like he was the inseparable thing without which the current Dean would no longer be one.
There may not have been a flutter of attraction in him, but it was definitely love, a platonic affection that restrained him. Dean loved Cas, loved him in his own way, the only way Dean Winchester could.
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queen-of-deans-booty · 7 months
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Don't Let It Go
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Teenage!Reader, Implied Destiel
Word Count: ~1.4k
Warnings: angst, minor fluff at the end
Request by anon: Hey can i request, a one shot where the Winchester and Castiel find a girl (who is 16-17 years) in the middle of the street and they take her to the bunker and they wait to the girl (reader) to wake up and when she wake up , she tell that her is from other universe where she is Dean and Castiel daughter and she is angel/demon hybrid because she was born after Dean became a Demon and was raised by Sam? Something Fluff 
Summary: You got into a place you weren't supposed to go into and as a result, you got put in a different universe where everything is the same except your parents.
Square Filled: unconventional hybrids (2023) for @heavenandhellbingo
Author’s Note: i appreciate any and all comments! <3
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Inside the Impala is quiet, silent except for the soft rock playing softly through the speakers. All three men have just come back from a grueling hunt and all they want is to go home, drink some alcohol, and sleep for a day. Sam wanted to stop to get some rest in a motel room before taking the long drive home but Dean had his head set on arriving home as soon as possible. He’s growing kind of tired, it’s pitch black on the road, and he’s passing the double yellow line too often for Sam’s liking.
“Do you want me to drive?”
“No, I got it,” Dean shakes his head to keep him awake.
He drives for a few more miles until he sees something in the middle of the road. It’s not until he comes within twenty feet of it does he see it’s a body.
“Dean, watch out!” Cas gasps.
Dean swerves the car right before he can hit the body, and he slams on his brakes a few yards away from it. All three men step out and run over to it to see who it could be. It’s a teenage girl who doesn’t look to have any injuries. Castiel kneels down and places two fingers on your forehead to check for internal injuries but everything checks out fine.
“She’s knocked out with no injuries. I don’t know who put her here.”
“We can’t just leave her here,” Sam says.
“Bring her with us. We can do more at the Bunker,” Dean decides.
Since there are no other people here to claim you, Sam scoops you into his arms and places you into the backseat of the Impala. When they arrive home, they place you in the infirmary. Castiel is able to do more extensive tests on you to check who you are, where you came from, and what you could possibly want.
“I know everyone on Earth but I don’t know her name.” He hovers his glowing hands over your entire body to get a feel of what you might be. “This is so weird. There is magic within her but not like witch magic, like angel magic.”
“She’s an angel?”
“Not fully. There is angel magic but not enough to be a full angel. I know all angels, and I don’t recognize her at all.”
“We have to wait for her to wake up… if she does,” Sam says.
It takes three more hours for you to wake up and when you do, you stare at the three men still inside the room. You’re in some kind of infirmary inside the Bunker but something is different. This doesn’t feel like the Bunker you know. For one, Sam is with Dean and Castiel and Sam hasn’t been on good terms with them for years now.
“Am I in trouble?” you sigh and sit up.
“What?”
“Come on. Lay it on me. Yell, scream, or do whatever you need to do.”
“What are you talking about?” Dean asks.
“Very funny, Dad. Just get it over with.”
“Dad? Who the hell are you?”
This isn’t your world. This isn’t your Bunker. This isn’t your dad. Dean and Castiel don’t recognize you at all.
“What planet am I on?”
“Earth…?”
“Why is everything different?”
“What happened to you?” Castiel asks.
“I was gathering ingredients in the garden for the spell I was creating, but I saw something gold shimmer. When I touched it, everything went black. I woke up here.”
“She must have touched a portal. She’s from another universe.”
“I’m in another universe? Oh, my dads are gonna kill me,” you groan and put your head in your hands.
“I’m your dad?” Dean asks. You nod. “Who else is?”
“Him,” you say and point to Castiel.
“We’re both your dads?”
“Yes.”
Castiel stiffens awkwardly, Dean looks at him with a weird look on his face, and Sam just laughs.
“So, Destiel is real, then?”
“Shut the hell up,” Dean snaps.
“What’s that magic inside of you? I don’t recognize it.”
“You wouldn’t. I come from a world where people are born from DNA testing in a lab. If a woman and a man want to have a baby, they get to choose the gender they want by the doctor pulling DNA strands from their bodies and making that baby in a lab. If two women want to have a child, then their baby must be a boy to counteract the X chromosomes. The same thing goes for two men. They must have a daughter. Well, strands were taken from Dean and Castiel to make me, but Dean is a demon and Castiel is an angel. I’m half-demon, half-angel.”
“You’re a Nephalem?”
“Is that what Jack is?” Dean asks.
“No, he’s a Nephilim which is only half-angel,” you explain. “I have the grace of an angel, the blood of a demon, and a human soul to counteract the two powers. I’m kind of a big deal in my universe. I’m the most powerful creature, but I kind of fucked up.”
“How so?” Sam asks.
“In my world, the forbidden Garden of Eden is a real place that people can visit. I am forbidden to go in there due to my demonic heritage. The Garden is sacred to angels only, so I kind of snuck in for the ingredients I need for my spell. That’s when I got caught in that portal. My dads are gonna kill me,” you groan. “They’ll slaughter anything to get to me, and when they find out I’m missing, there’s no telling what they’ll do. I have to get back.”
“We’ll be right back. Just stay here.”
All three men leave the infirmary to talk in the hallway.
“A daughter of Heaven and Hell is far more powerful than anything in the entire universe, surpassing God and Jack themselves. She’s not at full power because she’s a teenager, but she can destroy the universe with just a thought. If you two make her upset or stressed, her powers can go haywire,” Castiel warns.
“What the hell are we gonna do?” Sam asks.
“We have to create a portal back to her world and get her back as soon as possible so she doesn't destroy everything in ours.”
Dean peeks inside the room to see you with tears running down your cheeks.
“Why don’t you two get started on that? Let me talk to her alone.”
Dean walks into the room alone and approaches you slowly. You wipe your tears away when he sits next to you on the bed.
“I’m not sure how to do this,” Dean starts.
“I’m really sorry,” you sniffle. “I didn’t mean to break the rules.”
“Listen, I don’t know how ‘Other Me’ or ‘Other Cas’ deals with shit over there, but you’re a kid. You didn’t know any better.”
“I do, though. I have a choice to make when I turn eighteen. Choose to be with the angels or demons. If I choose to side with the angels then I’m an enemy of Hell. If I side with the demons, the angels will hunt me down and kill me. My dads made this perfectly clear and told me to stay out of Eden to prevent people from thinking I sided with the angels. They can be pretty scary. They don’t hit me or abuse me but if I don’t follow the rules, they’ll get scary. God, they’re gonna kill me.”
“If ‘Other Me’ is anything like me, he’ll forgive you. It can’t be easy being an angel and a demon.”
“It’s hard. I’m seventeen, so I have to make the choice in less than a year. I’m not ready. I don’t want to pick a side because that will start a war. Earth would become a fighting ground for demons and angels with me as one of their leaders. I would be forced away from one of my dads.”
“For a demon, you care a lot.”
“I might be a demon but I’m not evil. I have a human soul. I don’t want any of this,” you cry.
“Okay, listen to me. You’re certainly strong and capable of handling things for yourself, but if ‘Other Me’ loves you like you say he does, then he won’t ask you to choose. I don’t care if he is a demon or not. It’s going to be okay.”
You lean up and hug him, catching him off guard.
“Thank you.” He pats your back and you pull away from him. “You know, my dad used to have a soul before finding the First Blade. I’ve heard the stories but nothing compares to seeing him now with one. Your soul is a gift, Dean. Don’t let it go.”
“As long as you don’t let yours go.”
“I promise,” you smile.
“Then I promise, too. Come on, let’s work on getting you home.”
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Follow my library blog​​​​​​ @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)
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apples-and-heartbreak · 2 months
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I feel like when I’m reading or watching something, for me to like a hero, they have to
1) have ambition about anything
2) not be annoying
3) not excuse their shitty behaviour with their shitty childhood
4) not be so self-righteous they don’t see their own flaws
For these reasons I hate with a burning passion Jace Herondale, Clary Fairchild, Eli Ever, Tiberius “Cal” Calore VIII, Dean Winchester, and Legend/Dante Santos
Jace is constantly doing something shitty in every book and people don’t care and they just put up with it for some reason. In CoG he belittles Clary because he wants to push her away but keeps coming back to her. He also keeps coming onto Clary when he thought she was his sister and said that cursed sentence in CoG that I need to bleach from my brain. I know if he said that shit to me I would’ve punched him in his stupid face cuz who does he think he is? He mocks the werewolves after they lost a child in their pack, he’s just awful to Alec at times, he doesn’t seem to understand there are consequences to his actions and just does shit because he wants to. He had the emotional maturity of a dried up pinecone.
Clary also does so much shit and people don’t call her out because she’s the protagonist and she just lets Jace do whatever to her because he’s hot. Girl please get a grip. She slut shames Izzy because apparently women aren’t allowed to have a sex life or wear revealing clothing 😒 girl you kissed someone you thought was YOUR BROTHER!! She dated Simon to get over Jace and then kissed Jace in the Seelie Court, and repeatedly thought about Jace in a romantic sense WHILE she thought they were SIBLINGS! I can’t.
Eli is so self-righteous, annoying and hypocritical. He uses God and religion as an excuse to kill innocent people which is just disgusting. Like I get that he thinks being an EO changed a person because Victor became different but he is an EO himself and he just takes it on himself to murder innocent people for simply existing.
Cal has no desire to do anything, at least up to the beginning of King’s Cage he doesn’t (where I currently am). He knows how poorly the Reds are being treated and he doesn’t want to change anything because (and I’m paraphrasing) there would be outrage among the Silvers and a war would break out. Bitch you are already at war! He’s the reason why so many innocent young Reds have lost their lives fighting in a war they have no say in. He sees the Scarlet Guard killing Silvers and he doesn’t try to stop them. He sulks and whines but doesn’t take any real action, which he could if he actually wanted to. He stalks around the camp like Mare’s dog and thinks he’s better than everyone.
Dean Winchester is an abusive asshole. He locked Sam in the cellar when he was addicted to demon blood when he knew the withdrawal could kill him. He shit on Sam for being manipulated. He’s made horrible perverted jokes about women, might I remind y’all of the high school episode (he was at least 26 at the time). He guilted Sam for leaving him in Hell and Purgatory when he did THE EXACT SAME THING when Same went to the cage. He threatened Kaia, a teenager at gun point for his own selfish purposes. He abused Jack til the very end, yelling that he wasn’t family when Jack had sacrificed his soul and life for the Winchesters, and made Jack hate himself for being born. He was shitty to Cas in so many seasons and didn’t care that Cas just went through seeing his son die and wasn’t able to save him. He violated Sam’s body by tricking him into letting Gadreel in which led to the death of Kevin and had the audacity to think he was wronged.
Dante is shit. Julian, his brother, lived with him for centuries, followed him wherever he went and loved him unconditionally. All Julian asked was for Dante to love him back, which he never did. When Julian finally found someone who loved him, Dante made fun of him. And then in the next book he gives up his immortality for Tella, a girl he has known for literal months at most. He didn’t love his brother, who has been with him since the beginning, enough to give up his immortality but he loved this random girl he has known for a couple months at most to give it all up?? Tella should’ve left him in the dust just like she did Jacks and went off on adventures by herself and met someone that wasn’t a twat.
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velvethopewrites · 6 months
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The thing is that with Castiel’s introduction, Supernatural really cemented their staying power. Four seasons in and it was getting a bit…tired. Yes, Sam and Dean, on the road, killing things, saving people, the family business, monster of the week, etc etc, but how many more seasons of that could they have done? The introduction of angels and the whole mythology, bringing one into the fold (ie the brothers lives)- pumped the show full of a new energy that is really noticeable. At least, it was to me as I watched it. And okay, maybe it’s my inner Castiel fan-girl talking (ok maybe not so inner, lol, I wear my love for that angel on my sleeve these days) but his character is just so…fascinating. Part of it is the writing, but most of it is Misha’s portrayal. He really latched on to something with his acting choices. So many people could identify with Castiel. More so than they could identify with Sam or Dean (*at that point in time, not later*). Truth is, Castiel changed Dean and he changed Sam (although to a lesser extent) and the dynamic that was born, whether it is character wise or actor wise, is part of the reason Supernatural stayed on the air for 15 insane years. Castiel honestly deserves our respect. So let’s bless that trench-coat wearing, head tilting, blue-eyed gay angel. For real. His existence (and sometimes, his very lack of existence) gave us so many great things and so many great storylines and so many fantastic portrayals that it is honestly hard to imagine the show without him (although a few people tried that and oh, look, it didn’t work, they brought him back!). Happy Cas day, indeed!
*I would argue that Dean became more interesting as the show went on after season 4 b/c of his interactions with Castiel. The writers really opened up his character and it is a nod to Jensen, really, because he acted his butt off and really gave Dean a depth I’m not sure the original show runners ever really thought was there. It is clear the audience was supposed to enjoy Sam and connect with his character, but due to Jensen just knocking it out of the acting park *and* his chemistry later with Misha, the show went places that I don’t think anyone could really have guessed.*
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tappedthedavidsassonce · 11 months
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Angels sooooo have era centric styles, you can’t tell me they don’t.
Are you gonna tell me their 2000’s era clothing were their choice???? Absolutely not.
>Gabriel is 100% the 70’s, did you see how at home he was in those clothes? Bro would wear bell bottoms unironically and I love that for him. (Also orange is his color and that era LOVED orange) also the 70’s was the time for an artistic revival with disco at the forefront! I especially love how it took advantage of the 60’s which is usually regarded as the big honcho of out there ideas and today is blamed as the turning point of delinquency. And much like Gabe, the 70’s skirts prosecution because of the distraction the 60’s posed. But! 70’s fashion took it’s turn with comedy and charisma and ended up paving the way for the 80’s scene, which is also right up Gabe’s ally. It’s funny actually because Dean is heavily influenced by the 80’s and the rise of rock and roll. Didn’t Dean say if Gabe was less of a dick he’d be his type of guy? Or was that a fanfic… ANYWAYS!
>Micheal is the 50’s… don’t ask but it’s definitely influenced by Clickbaitcowboy (Can you tell I’m heavily influenced by him??) and also y’know, his overall vibe. He EMBODIES the baby boom and postwar influence on the people of that era that undercut the survivalist women of the 40’s and thrusted men yet again at the forefront of innovation. Aka men taking advantage of the times and capitalizing off of the efforts of women that happened during the depression when they had the chance so they can forward their agenda. (Profiting off of war efforts and raising soldiers… very Micheal)
>I wanna say Lucifer would be Victorian because of the gothic aesthetic but also the vampires and demons… hello. Also I think it’s hilarious that Nick would quite literally be a sickly Victorian child if Lucifer cared a smidge more about his overall appearance. Also historically speaking the period is the Industrial Revolution which not only caused an actual intellectual renaissance but also brought about a ton of crime, murder, cheap sin, and desperation. I think it’s very fitting since Luci’s Revolution also led to crime, murder, cheap sin, and desperation.
>Raphael. If I were lazy I’d say 50’s because she follows Micheal so dutifully but she is an individual and I heavily believe she followed Micheal only because she genuinely thought he had their father in mind for all of his decisions. She is a daddy’s girl but also a boss ass bitch and so she DESERVES the 40’s!!! The 20’s era feminists and individualists influenced an era of craftiness in the depression. They were literally sewing bag dresses and inventing affordable foods to keep everyone alive which is very much Raphael. (Or at least my understanding of her character) But also it was much more subdued than the 20’s which I think is Raphael’s main thing. She’s very much an independent and intelligent Angel but that all takes the back burner in the face of her responsibility as archangel—protecting her siblings and navigating for them while keeping up pretenses that everything is okay.
>Castiel was so easy, he is literally the 2000’s. Style is usually invented at the point of individualism or for the sake of self expression and Cas became himself when he met Dean aka in the 2000’s. Also the style is very him, trench-coat with a loose tie and a white shirt? Sir, get out of my Starbucks with your bullshit, you can’t be anything other than 2000’s camp, you psycho.
——Apologies for any misspellings or grammatical mistakes, it is midnight lmfao.
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meganlpie · 2 years
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Words
Based on this request:  Hi Meg! 💚 Can i please ask for a Cas imagine? Soulmate one where anything you write on your skin appears on your soulmates. He doesn’t get why words are appearing on him and Sam and Dean go on a mission to find the girl. She thinks she doesn’t have a soulmate as nothing appears on her?
Here you go, lovelies! I do not own ANY SPN characters. They belong to the writers/creators of the show!
Warnings: Soulmate AU, angst-ish. Based on season 4 Castiel.
Pairings: Castiel x fem!reader
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Cas' brow furrowed in confusion. "Dean, why have these words suddenly appeared on my arm?" Dean glanced over and saw the words on Cas' skin. "Seriously? You don't know? I thought angels would know about soulmates." Cas' eyes widened. Of course he knew about soulmates. But angels didn't have them. As far as he knew, they were exclusive to humans.
         "But these words do not make sense," he commented, causing Sam to look at the exposed skin. "Looks like…orders? Your soulmate might be a waiter or something." Dean arched a brow. "A waiter who writes orders on their arms and hands?" Sam shrugged. "It's possible they lost their pad." Cas merely stared at his arm. "Should I…should I return correspondence?" Sam and Dean shrugged, not knowing that the writer of those words was in the very town they were hunting in.
YOUR POV
         You let out a soft sigh as you kicked your door closed behind you. Another long day and you were ready to get off your feet. You were seriously considering finding a new job. Waitressing was absolutely not for you, especially since the new manager had yet to learn the ropes, including ordering new order pads. You only hoped your soulmate wouldn't be too irritated with the constant stream of words on their arms. Not that you would know either way.
         From the moment you learned to write, you had begun writing little notes to your soulmate. It started with simple, one-word messages, and eventually developed into full paragraphs. But no matter how much or little you wrote, no matter how often, you never received a reply. Not a single one. After a while you just gave up hope of ever meeting your soulmate.
         You went about your daily life and as you lived your life, thoughts of your soulmate began drifting to the back of your mind. You decided to stop searching and writing to someone who wasn't going to write back. Your hand and arm instead became a place for notes and orders. You never expected that those orders would be the reason you ended up meeting your soulmate after all.
         You were awakened by your phone ringing next to your head. With a groan, you rolled over to grab the offending device. You wanted to scream when you saw your manager's name flash across the screen. When you answered you weren't at all surprised to hear them asking you to come in as another waiter had called in sick. If you hadn't needed the money, you would have laughed right then and there, but instead, you got up and made your way into work.
         The diner was busy when you arrived. Not unusual for a Sunday morning. There was a bar a few doors down and a lot of people liked to come in to nurse their Saturday night hangovers. Your mind instantly shifted into work mode, only to gaze at your coworkers curiously when you caught them all staring at one table. "Uh…hello?"
         "Y/N, you lucky b-" Another waitress covered your friend's mouth. Your elderly Sunday regulars often complained about her language. "What are you talking about?" you questioned and they all nodded in the same direction. "Your first table!"
         You let your eyes follow their gazes and had to fight to keep your jaw from dropping. Three absolutely gorgeous men were sitting at the table. You quickly looked away as you wanted to be respectful. "That's my first table?" you asked in disbelief. That earned you a nod and playfully jealous glares. "Okay, stop ogling them. You don't like it when customers ogle you so stop," you chastised before turning to your manager and asking about order pads. Of course, there were none.
         With pen in hand, you approached the table and smiled. "Hi, I'm Y/N. What can I get ya?" As soon as the first of them gave you his order, you began writing on your hand. "You always write on your hand?" You shook your head and smiled playfully. "Haven't you heard? It’s the new in thing. Saves paper and whatnot." He laughed, but one of the others cleared his throat.
         "Uh, Dean?" The green-eyed man who'd been speaking to you glanced over at his companions. The tallest of the three grabbed the third man's hand to show Dean. "Sh-Should I give you guys a minute?" Dean looked up at you. "No, Sweetheart. But you should look at my friend's hand." Your heart began to beat faster. Was this it?
         You glanced down at the third man's hand and nearly dropped your pen to the floor. Your gaze shot up to meet the startling blue eyes of your soulmate. "I-I'll be right back," you managed to squeak out before turning on your heel to move back behind the counter.
         When soulmates began cropping up, new labor laws were put in place allowing employees to leave work for a few days after meeting their soulmates as long as they could prove the bond. So you practically ran to your manager, grabbed their hand, and pulled them over to the table. After a couple moments, your manager took your apron with a smile and Dean and the tall guy left the booth so you could sit with your soulmate.
         "What's your name?" you asked, trying desperately not to seem too eager. "I am Castiel." You smiled a little. "It's unique…Why? I mean, why didn't you ever respond?" you asked softly as you gestured to the writing on your hand. "I-I," he started. His blue eyes frantically searched for his friends, confusing you. "Hey, again," the tall one greeted from beside the table, "I think you guys should come with us. There's a few things you should know, Y/N." To say you were confused would be an understatement, but you'd always been a curious person and this was your soulmate and his friends. They wouldn't hurt you. You knew that. So you nodded and followed the three men outside. Once there, the three men began to explain everything.
*short time skip*
         You stared at the three like they were insane. "Wait. So you're telling me that everything we've ever been afraid of, all the things that go bump in the night are real? And the two of you," you stated, pointing at Dean and, as you now knew, Sam, "Are hunters?" They nodded and you turned your eyes on Castiel.
         "And you? You're an angel? Like, an honest to goodness angel?" He also confirmed and you nearly swayed on your feet. "O-Okay." Castiel looked completely lost as to what to do, adding to the validity of his claim. Sam  helped you sit down and attempted to keep you calm while Dean whispered something to Castiel who was currently glaring at Sam sitting so closely to his soulmate.
         Meanwhile, your mind was racing. Your soulmate was an angel. A FREAKING ANGEL! What were you supposed to do with that?! How would that even work?! You wanted to scream and cry at the same time. It didn't seem fair. Your soulmate was so far out of your reach it wasn't funny. Had there been some sort of mistake? So many questions without answers and it was weighing on you already. Would you ever be able to manage this?
(a/n: I hope you like it!!)
Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard @brewsthespirit-blog @sirkekselord @aikibriarrose  @lady-of-lies @esoltis280 @stories-by-shanna-p @motleymoose @dark-angel-is-back @supernatural4life2022​ 
SPN Tags: @jotink78​
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laf-outloud · 4 months
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Adding on to the Season 10 discussion on your blog today…
For most seasons of SPN, Sam is the plot protagonist and Dean is the the emotional beat protagonist. That doesn’t mean Sam never has emotional beats or Dean never has plot points, but that’s often where their stories focus harder.
Halfway through Season 9 this changes. Dean gets the mark, and Dean is the one going after Abadon. Dean is mad at Gadreal (even though part of what happened with him was his own fault). Sam is … not allowed to feel emotions about the first half of the season because he has to deal with Dean, I guess. Also, Dean sidelines him. So, this leaves Sam with nothing to do, but sort of support Cas for an episode. It’s totally off kilter.
I think it’s not only a matter of Dean not being as compelling as the lead protagonist, but those seasons that feature him as the lead almost sideline Sam, whereas seasons where Sam connects to the plot, they still give Dean other stuff to do.
This is a sort of side note, but I also hate late seasons writing for when Sam is the emotional beat protagonist. The writing is cliche and lame. Jared does his best with the material, but the words are not great. He has moments that are absolutely fantastic (talking to his dad in Lebanon, for example), but a lot of what he’s working with is lame. Jensen had better dialogue to work with in early seasons when he had to emote all over the place.
And for Jensen, Jared had better plot to work with in early seasons while he got a lot of warmed over Sam plots, so he wasn’t exactly helped either.
In conclusion, late seasons are not good, overall. Lol.
Welcome to the Bitter Sam Girl's Club! There are so many reasons why the later seasons didn't work, which you've also shared. Main, I think the writers in the later seasons were lazy when it came to figuring out Sam and his journey, and therefore gave their best work to Dean (which wasn't that good).
Also, if you look at the writing crew, the majority were men and Sam was basically female-coded... and people wonder why these men found it so hard to write for him.
(Also agree that Jensen was much better in the earlier seasons before Dean became a caricature.)
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yunggoblin · 1 year
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Babysitting - Castiel (18+)
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Pairing: Castiel x Female!Reader
Summary: You and Castiel are together while he has to watch over Charlie and Rowena. While Castiel is on the phone you decide to distract him only to sneak off for a quickie.
Based Off Of This Imagine
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, Grinding, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Minors DNI
Word Count: 1,738
Note: I wrote this back in 2015, I only touched it up a bit.
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You stood there, watching Charlie and Rowena argue about the technology that Charlie was using for research. Your eyes kept jumping back and forth to whoever spat back a rude comment. How did you even end up in this run down building with two arguing redheads? Oh right, you were trying to get closer to the angel you had a crush on. Plus Sam insisted you go with Castiel to keep a close eye on Rowena so she wouldn’t try anything. Also, there for Charlie’s company but she and Rowena have been talking up a storm about old school and new school research. Growing tiresome of them arguing you didn’t even realize you sighed out heavily, you looked up to see both of the intelligent girls looking at you. 
“Oh I’m sorry, we’re we interrupting you?“ Sarcasm in Rowena’s voice as her accent rolled off of her tongue smoothly, it wasn’t hard to tell that she was Crowley’s mother. You could feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment for being called out. You open your mouth to talk until the door opens. The three of you turned your heads to see who it was. Your hand rested upon the handle of your knife, being on high alert was nothing new to you. You sighed out in relief seeing it was Castiel  walking down the small steps with a white bag in his hands full of goodies. He stopped and looked at the females. 
"I sense tension.” His voice boomed off the walls, his blue eyes scanned the room to see if anything changed. “I brought snacks.” He held the plastic bag higher and walked over to the table and placed it down. 
“When I was human,” Castiel began while he reached into the groceries, finding the bag of chips. “I became very fond of these.” He held up a small red bag with the word Doritos on the side. Charlie and Rowena looked at each other and shrugged, Charlie searched through the bag, being picky about what she wanted. 
A soft chime tone rang making you look towards Castiel as he fished out his phone. “It’s Dean, I have to take this.” He mumbled and clicked the green button while walking away. “Hello?” You could hear Castiel ask into the phone while he walked into the other room.
"There it is.“ Charlie smiled widely as she held a large chocolate bar in her hands. 
"That’s mine.” Rowena hissed towards the other red head, wanting it. “There better be more.” She snapped, Charlie checked the bag and looked slowly towards the witch. “There isn’t any more, is there?” Rowena growled and crossed her arms. Charlie shook her head no. “You better give me that.” Rowena snarled, which only made Charlie push her buttons more as she placed her fingers at the end of the wrapper and slowly started to tear at it. 
“Charlie don’t you fucking open that, I want it.” Rowena tried standing up only for the chains connected to her ankles to force her back into her seat.
"I’m done babysitting you two.“ You announced and started to walk towards the room where Castiel was. 
The angel's back was facing you as his voice was low. "I can’t handle these girl’s, Dean.” Grumbling as he ran his fingers through his dark short hair. You leaned against the door frame watching him talk on the phone, he was really improving. He was very different when you both first met but after he was human it was like he understood everything now. He knew more about emotions that humans carry.  He was a very handsome man, you always thought he was ever since the first time you laid your eyes on him. You licked your lip that suddenly became dry. 
"So does that mean you can’t handle me?“ You purred out, making him freeze in place, stopping everything he was doing. 
"I- I’m going to have to call you back.” Castiel trailed off and quickly hung up, you could hear Dean on the other line asking loudly what was happening. Castiel shoved his phone in his trench coat pocket and spun around, facing you. “How much uh, how much did you hear?” He asked nervously which made you arch an eyebrow. 
“That you can’t handle these girls.” You responded which made him sigh out in relief. You shut the door with your foot, walking towards the angel. “What about me? Can you handle me?” You questioned while playing with his blue tie. 
"We should head back to Charlie and Rowena. They shouldn’t be alone together.” Castiel said, walking towards the door about to pass you to leave the room, only to stop him in his tracks by placing your hand on his broad chest. 
"Now I asked you a question, Castiel.” The hand you had placed on his chest started to slowly unbutton his white shirt. “Can you handle me?” You asked a bit sexually, you noticed how his breath hitches in his throat and his eyes darted from the door down to you. 
"I- I like to think that I can.“ He mumbled lowly which made you smile. 
"Good.” Was all you said once you roughly pushed him up against the wall and placed a kiss on his lips. You were a bit rough but noticed him not kissing back, you slowly started to pull away with a frown only to feel his hand on the back of your head pulling you in for another kiss. He growled lowly, spinning around, pinning you up against the cold wall. His hips rolling up against your making you whimper at the feeling of his erection rubbing up against your thigh, making his black slacks tighten. 
You soon noticed the cool air hitting up against your naked body and Castiel’s lips no longer on yours. You whimpered at the lost contact and slowly opened your eyes to see the angel of the lord naked right in front of you. You realized that he used his powers to take your clothes off. “Come here.” Castiel gripped you and sat you up on the nearest table, it creaked slightly as your weight was put on it. You cried out softly as your warm clit made contact with the cold metal table. 
Castiel quickly clamped his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. “Shh.” He growled out. “Can’t let Charlie catch us, not like this.” He muttered and grabbed his hard cock and gave it a few strokes. He was right, you’d die from embarrasment having her walk in on the both of you about to fuck each other silly. You watched his movements, admiring his hand working his cock. 
Castiel’s warm hands grabbed your hips pulling you closer to the edge of the table, a small squeal escaped your lips as he did so. You didn’t think he was that strong until after he picked you up. Castiel hand never stopped stroking his cock, grabbing the base of it he slowly rubbed the tip of his cock against your soaking slit. “Hmm, it feels so lovely.” He moaned.
"So wet for me.“ He flashed a smirk that made your heart melt. You looked up into his bright blue eyes, moaning loudly as you got caught off guard as he slid all the way into you without warnings. "Fuck.” He mumbled placing his hands on your ass, gripping it and pulling you as close as he could. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he was balls deep inside of you. You buried your face into the crook of his neck, whimpering as he slowly pulled out and pushed roughly back into you. Your breasts pressed against his toned chest, soft pants left your lips with each thrust he gave.
"Oh God, Castiel.“ You moaned out, against his skin. He soon stopped his actions. 
"I would like it if you didn’t moan out my Father’s name.” He chuckled lowly only to pull out swiftly and pushed back into you hard, making you bite down on to his shoulder muffling a moan. 
"I- I’m sorry.“ You yelped out and he started to pick up his pace. 
By now you were a mess, sex hair as he kept tugging at it in a heated kiss, beads of sweat on each other’s foreheads as you two grew closer to your orgasms. He thrust in once more making her moan out louder than before. "Fuck.” You kissed Castiel to cover up his moans.
"Right their baby?“ He questioned the kiss as he was thrusting into a new angle, hitting your g-spot. 
“Y- Yes, oh fuck yes!” You tugged at his dark hair as he picked up his pace, the table creaked underneath them, soon banging up against the wall loudly. For sure the two girls could hear them now. Soon you could feel your lower stomach tighten up knowing what was going to happen. 
“You close?“ He whispered knowing you were since your walls tighten around his cock which made him slam into you. 
“Yes!” You practically screamed, the faster he went the harder the metal table slammed up against the wall. Soon you could feel yourself come undone for him. Coming all over his throbbing cock.
"Shit, Y/N!“ Cas shouted out his come shooting up into you. He lazily kept rocking his hips to help you both ride each other’s high. He soon stopped thrusting into you and relaxed his tense body. You hummed tiredly, resting your forehead on his shoulder. "That was amazing.” He mumbled lowly.
"You think they heard?“ You ask in a soft tone with a blush tinted on your cheeks. 
"The way I made you scream, I think everyone in a twenty-five feet radius heard.” Castiel jokes. He slowly slid out of you making you whimper and slid off the table and on to your feet, almost falling from now weak you were. Castiel quickly caught you, holding you up. 
"You alright?“ He questions, making you nod and look up at him.
"Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” You smiled at him. With a snap of his fingers you were clean in between your thighs and dressed with a pair of clean panties on. He got dressed in his usual clothes and both of you walked out to see Charlie and Rowena. 
"Dontcha think you were loud enough in there?“ Rowena asked with her silky accent and a smirk on her lips.
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shallowseeker · 7 months
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I don't really agree with your demon dean takes but i find them interesting
K. Much of this is just my lens and experience, you know? My beloved brain-addled Gramps grabbed my ass one day from his hospital bed. Was that his "true self?"
Basically, I don't buy into the whole, "release your inhibitions" wholesale. Inhibitions taken to extremes can be bad, sure, like how they are rigidly enforced with angels. On the flipside, I don't think disinhibition is automatically "good" or "your super-duper secret true self." Inhibitions are actually a key component of decision-making and free will.
I don't actually disagree with other takes on Demon Dean. I let most of them co-exist in my head. They're fun. A) I just see this particular take less often, and I like it. B) It gives me a shit-ton of mileage in filtering the side stories of the season:
DEAN HATED BEING A DEMON
Dean talks about how he hated becoming a demon, and he asks Cas to kill him if he goes darkside again.
As a demon, Dean doesn't actually act like himself; he mistreats the girl he sleeps with, which is not his MO at all.
He sings badly, and the Dean we know is into music even since Robin and sings quite well.
He's not his full integrated self, he's often disinhibited, bitter, and numb.
It's a callback to his original trauma in Hell, "being carved into a new animal." Hell, it's an odious nod to Alastair.
There are glimmers of his soul fighting to get out. Moments of lucidity, you might say.
He thanks Cas for, "stepping in when you did." Another callback to Dean's original Hell rescue.
via @silver-stake-through-the-heart - he didn’t care about Baby! “She was just a car.” Dean didn’t care about Baby or himself. He became an animal with no interiority that requires no tenderness, like “just a dumb car.”
LOSS OF CONTROL; DISORGANIZED PSYCHOLOGY
During season 10, Dean has recurring nightmares about the loss of control.
...because he hated being a demon beholden to instinct, sundered from his own emotions. (It's a parallel to Naomi's super-soldier-Cas.)
That's what killing the human traffickers was really about; if Dean had lined them up and executed them under his own free will with full faculties, it wouldn't have bothered anyone.
Like when Mary views Jack's torture-kill in season 14, it's about the "kill signature." And well, the loss of control does have some research to back it up when it comes to assessing a worsening disorganized psychology. Mary is a lifelong hunter and would be hip to recognizing the signs of a hunter losing himself/losing touch with reality.
As much as I love to joke about Dean trying to crack Sam's skull open with a hammer, that's not what Dean really wants. In this scene, he becomes a specter of Lucifer/Nick Vaught (a former mark bearer; known for his volatility and impulse issues).
PIMPS & PROSTITUTES & ROOFIES
Randy/Claire/Salinger-the-human-trafficker is parallel to Crowley/Dean/Cain-the-father-of-murder.
Claire loves Randy as Dean loves Crowley: he seemed kind and like he was giving Dean new purpose & support...at first. Randy showed remorse after he threw Claire to the wolves. He still "loved" Claire, probably. Same with Crowley. (Horribly, I'm 99% sure Claire would have forgiven Randy, too, eventually.)
Like how Claire forgave Cas, ofc. Claire will take any scrap of affection. Literally, the way past her defenses is just to give a damn, no matter what else has happened.
Raoul-the-pimp-soul-collector-that-Rowena-kills & Shaylene-the-prostitute is definitely a parallel to Crowley & Dean, right down to the brutal capitalism of Hell's soul deals.
Dean's story about John "saving" him from what is surely a close encounter with being roofied is a nod to Dean's sexual abuse as a minor, even though Dean plays it off as sexy, fun, and cool. Part of me thinks John actually walked in on a drugged-up-teen-Dean being statutory-raped by a bunch of adults. Or at the very least, sexually assaulted.
He feels like John set him up to be vulnerable and then turned around and shamed him harshly for becoming damaged goods.
SHAME & SUICIDE
This is why there's this constant swirl of SHAME and SUICIDE with regard to Dean's time as Demon Dean and becoming a knight of Hell through the Mark of Cain.
Dean even emphasizes some of the friendly, cute moments. It's the same way he retells the bar story as being Super Cool. Even Sam thinks his retelling of CBGB is a heartwarming tale. A lighthearted “summer of love,” if you will. Sam doesn’t get it. He never will.
DEAN: Somehow, we convince him to let us go. So, we all go. We all, you know, see all the sights, and uh, ride the subway, eat too much pizza. The whole nine. Well, by about midnight, Sam and Dad are zonked, and I figure… Screw it. I’m going to CBGB. All right, so I get there. I sneak in, and it is nuts. I mean, people are drinking and they’re smoking and they’re—they’re snorting whatever. There’s a five-hundred pound guy on stage with a Mohawk just screaming. And, uh, my mind is blown. I don’t even know what to do. Then this girls walks up and she says “Hey, why don’t you come over and sit down with me and my friends at our table?” All right! SAM: Yeah, and they get him drunk. First time. DEAN: But not fun drunk. I’m not quite sure what was in that stuff, but the room starts to spin, and I feel like I’m going to puke … forever. And right about that time, I hear him. “Dean Winchester!” ...My old man. I don’t know how, but he found me. And now I’m really freaking out, because he’s just standing there, not saying anything. I look around, and everybody else is freaking out, too. In fact, nobody’s even looking him in the eye. And finally, this one guy with, like, a safety pin through his nose and a—a “Kill Everything” tattoo looks up and he says, “Sorry, sir.”
So yeah, Demon Dean wasn't a positive experience on the whole, even though he, parallel to Claire, pretty much forgives everyone about it. She, too, is a heart character.
He only reveals how much he hated it...to Cas, really.
DISINHIBITION (REDUX)
This disinhibition of the mark rears its head again when Dean visits the college campus and makes comments about the girls there. That's not an accident of writing; it's a neon sign for how demon Dean and MoC!Dean acts, and why.
That's not in line with the Dean we've known in seasons prior OR after. It's simply...inappropriate disinhibition. Like a frontotemporal injury. Not the true self.
Dean beats on people as revenge for how he was wronged, too. If you look closely, he beats on Cas in a very similar way to how Cas beat on him in seasons 5 & 8.
Much of his behavior is an outpouring of those times Dean felt powerless in his life.
SLUTS, VALIDATION & VICTIMIZATION
Then, we have Mr. McKinley and the "slut daughter," Rose.
Dean says, "And you know what? I don't blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her."
Dean is finally unleashing his anger about what happened to him re: Cain and re: the CBGB incident.
For all his talk of "making Claire tougher," he's looking at how vulnerable he was, and he's finally starting to process the magnitude of that.
This is probably why he's not acting as outlandishly sexual in the later seasons, as much as I'd like to put it down to Cas's presence (Cas's presence is certainly meaningful).
But actually, it's that Dean processed why he acted in a certain way, and he's reflected on how it actually made him feel. (His protective locker room talk, of course, remains.)
CAS AS WHAT DEAN WISHED FOR FROM JOHN
That Cas gives Claire up to a healthier, safer life is what Dean wishes John would've done for him...left him with Sunny, perhaps.
Cas wants to keep Claire, because he loves her, but he can't repair the damage he did to her life.
Giving her up to Jody was the best thing. He's not equipped to care for Claire, like how John wasn't equipped to care for Sam or Dean.
Dean wishes John had been like Cas, and apologized, even though the situation was damn-near unfixable. He wishes John had tried to make amends anyway.
So when I say I get a lot of mileage, it's simply this. I get a lot of mileage. It's a fun lens for me, personally. And before you bring it up, yes, I do see the drug addiction parallels; I see addiction as quite complicated stuff.
I also think that Crowley is legitimately integrating his own humanity and catching feelings, but it doesn't erase the core of the whole situation. Crowley is also dealing with the events that led him to become a demon in the first place. He was abandoned, he drank too much in order to cope with an "unsuccessful" life, and he was tricked by a demon in a back alley who played on his dick insecurities.
He is like Metatron was to Cas. He saw that Dean was vulnerable, and he orchestrated a situation as a means to gain power in Hell. Ruby did this, too, with Sam. She had an agenda to get him corrupted and served on a silver platter to Lucifer. Demons do what demons do. It's not a judgment on my part so much as an observation.
I do think that, over time, it's shown that regular demons do have the capacity to get a better hold on their instincts, make connections, and can even remember how to love (SEE: Meg). The Mark was just...a much harder situation. Makes you reconsider Cain and Lucifer's plight a little bit, mmm?
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nickeldean · 8 months
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“Cas?” Dean calls from upstairs in their townhouse, making Cas roll his eyes. Dean’s probably going to beg him to bring him the ice cream, which would be fine, except that they’re all out.
“What?” Cas calls back, wandering over to the fridge in advance. Dean’s pregnancy cravings are always so predictable.
Dean calls out again, his voice cracking, sobs muffling Cas’ name, and Cas’ heart sinks to his stomach as he closes the fridge and runs upstairs.
He finds Dean curled up on their bed, blood dotting their sky blue sheets. Dean’s clutching a stuffed rabbit to his chest, his face buried into Cas’ pillow as he sobs. He turns to look at Cas as the bed creaks under the new weight, his face red and blotchy from crying.
“I’m sorry,” he gasps between sobs, “I’m so sorry.”
Cas runs his hand through Dean’s hair, curling up behind him and pressing little kisses to the back of his husband’s neck. “It’s okay, Dean, you’ll be okay, I love you.”
Dean shakes his head, nearly pushing Cas off the bed, squirming away. “No, I, I lost her, Cas, I lost our baby girl.” He inhales shakily, rolling over and trying to stand up from the bed before falling to the floor.
Instantly, Cas is at Dean’s side, trying to pick him up and carry him to the bathroom, massaging Dean’s back.
“No,” Dean snaps, trying to push Cas away as he stumbles towards the bathroom, “You don’t— no, Cas, stop,” Dean begs, tears rolling from his glassy green eyes. “I— I lost her, Cas, it’s my fault, I— She’s gone.”
Nothing Cas can say will make Dean feel less guilty. It doesn’t matter that it’s not his fault. They were both so careful this time, overjoyed when their little girl made it past the 12-week mark, when miscarriage became less likely. They had a name picked out, too.
Cas just listens to Dean’s sobs as he removes his husband’s shirt and bloody boxers and helps him into their bathtub, filling it with warm water. He knew what to do by now.
Clutching at what should have grown into a bump, Dean leans back in the bath, closing his eyes as the hot water runs over him. “Claire Mary Novak-Winchester, you were supposed to be our miracle,” he whispers, “My miracle.”
Dean’s eyes wander to Cas, who is clinging to Dean’s hand, rubbing his thumb over his husband’s knuckles in little soothing motions. “I’m broken,” Dean admits, trying to pull his hand away from Cas, struggling, shouting, “Go love someone else.”
Cas shakes his head. “I’m not going to do that.” His eyes wander down to the reddening water, Dean’s exhausted form barely visible through the murkiness. “I love you, Dean, you. I’m not leaving.”
Dean sniffs. “I’d leave. All— all you wanted was a family,” Dean stutters, “I can’t even give you that.”
It’s a lie. Cas has never wanted a family. He’s always wanted what Dean’s wanted, just wanted to see that spark of happiness in his husband’s eyes.
He wanders away from Dean for a moment, looking over their bed from the doorway of the bathroom. The sheets were stained beyond saving, Cas’ pillow wet with tears, the little bunny plushie laying abandoned where Dean had dropped it trying to get away from Cas.
Slowly, Cas picks it up, moving a floppy ear from its face. They’d picked it out together at some souvenir shop on their honeymoon. The bunny just stares at Cas, eyes reflecting only sadness instead of the joy it was supposed to bring to their new baby. They had picked the stuffed rabbit out four years ago.
He wants to throw it across the room. He wants to rip its ears off. He wants to hold it against his chest and never let go. He wants to lay with it and cuddle it until it’s all scruffy and flat, thoroughly loved and used. He never wants to see it again.
Still, he carries it into the bathroom, cradling the plushie in his arms, its bent plastic whiskers catching on the sleeve of his shirt. He sinks to his knees beside the bathtub, both Cas and Dean looking down at the bunny in reverence, some reverse prayer.
Without a word, Cas stands again, walking to their closet with purpose, holding a ritualistic stance as he presses a single kiss to the rabbit’s forehead. Slowly, he lowers it into a blue bin, tucking its ears down beside it, positioning its little body as if it were in a coffin.
He closes the lid with a thud.
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dothwrites · 9 months
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and then we have in the end which is ALSO a gift directly to me, straight from bedlund himself. god bless.
"the voice says i'm almost out of minutes" cas, i love you. you are THEE most character ever. his "what stuff" with his suspicious little squint. how DARE dean do something else other than attend to cas' needs. how dare! "i'll just wait here then"--THEE castiel line!
supernatural STILL has the market on creepy children conquered. that creepy little girl! and then the military coming in and blasting. love when supernatural just became a straight up zombie movie.
i always thought that this would be a great place to bring back ellen and jo. i would have loved to have seen chitaqua ellen and jo. i am satisfied with what i got but i'm also a greedy bitch and i want MORE
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taymarpigeon · 2 months
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So I don't do this often - ever really - but I had a brainworm on the whole Jensen's 180° on Destiel I thought I'd share.
It's come to light that Jensen claims he didn't realise 'Watching Over You' was about Cas until after he'd written it. Now, as a musician and lyricist myself I felt this in my damn bones!
See, I have written many a song where the words just flow, I'm not thinking, I'm feeling. It's a form of catharsis, of therapy, and once the vocals are down and I listen back I'm thinking: "Shit! I didn't realise I felt that way but damn... It feels good to get it out."
Now, we know Jensen is the original Dean girl, and his saying Dean isn't gone, he's got him (whilst gesturing at his heart) sticks with me. We laugh and joke about Jensen being simply a vessel to Dean but the guy spent fifteen years with this character, calls Dean the best imaginary friend a guy could ever have. I don't know about acting, but I wonder if certain characters are a form of catharsis and therapy for them too? If they see something in that character that resonates so deeply, playing them helps sift through whatever troubles lay heavy on their mind.
With that in mind, I can't help pondering whether 'Watching Over You' was Jensen's Destiel epiphany. His telling of how the song came to be supports the notion he slipped into the Dean character, words spoken not from his heart but that of his imaginary friend. He never saw the Destiel stuff before - if you believe him but I'll take him at his word - but he sat there, in a recording studio or quiet room, and he listened to the demo of that song, he played it over and over - like all musicians do - looking for things to tweak, and it hit him: "This isn't me, it's Dean." For the first time he heard Dean's voice unedited and unscripted by the bigots and homophobes of the CW, Dean spoke his truth and Jensen listened. Whether this is what swayed him only he can say, but I'd theorise that was the moment he became aware, and hearing its rawness, could no longer deny Dean's feelings for Cas. Dean means something to Jensen, enough that he bought the rights so he could alter his ending, I struggle to believe he could have this epiphany and not feel like continued dismissal of Destiel would be an insult to the character he's nurtured and loved for fifteen years. The timing also seems to fit, however, I don't keep as up-to-date with the fandom as others.
This is just my opinion - no, that's too strong of a word - it's my musing. Feel free to disagree, poke holes, whatever it is you gotta do. None of us can be certain of anything because we are not these people, not these characters, and not the writers from whom they were born. Just thought some of you may find this an intriguing take 🖤
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