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#i was binge watching monster factory and i thought of them
bleachbleachbleach · 4 months
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hi!! I’ve been binge reading ur fics and I’m so glad that it led me to your blog!! Hinamori and Hitsugaya are also my blorbos and I love your take on their characters and dynamic which is that they’re different flavors of what it’s like to be young and screwed over by the system you’ve been nothing but dutiful towards. In Hinamori’s case, she earnestly did believe in the ideals of the Gotei 13 (like seriously, one of her first character defining moments is rushing towards someone who needs help regardless of orders to do otherwise like with renji being injured and hisagi being attacked) but was constantly screwed over by the someone who she thought was the personification of those ideals and was just expected to immediately bounce back from that . Meanwhile Hitsugaya, who was already more reluctant from the get go, not only had to watch all that happen to her in real time, but keeps getting thrust into every shit show from the fuck factory because he unfortunately possesses the skills to do so. In some of your fics, Momo frets over how much being a Shinigami takes so much from him without giving him much back for his efforts and I wonder if he hasn’t thought the same about her?
And yet…at the heart of it…both of them just want to do good!! They just want to do right by people even if it’s in the world that constantly tries to chew them up and spit them out. Hinamori would still fret over and try to rush towards someone she thinks needs help and Hitsugaya will still go into a shit job sighing but hell still do it by the virtue of being one of the few ppl that can. I’m sorry if this ended up turning into a ramble but you just get it!!! God, they need another cathartic non traumatic field trip post TYBW. We rlly deserved a scene after all the battles where they make a long walk towards each other, stumble into each other’s arms or even just sit next to each other and go “holy shit you’re still here. We’re still here” and not get disturbed for 20 mins before they help each other up and do their jobs again.
This is from over a month ago now, dear anon, I am SO sorry. I was feeling really good about being on top of recent asks and then remembered that we have several months of messages we have failed to respond to. It is not for lack of appreciation, truly! Just lack of being on this page. I remember reading this message when you sent it and being, at the time, EXTREMELY hormonal and it was so kind and so needed and it means a lot that you came here to say it. <333333333333
Something I hear a lot is “the institution will not love you back”—the warning being not to fall into the trap of loving it, or giving too much to it, because it will only take. I think that’s true, but I also think that there are many professions that make the actual practice of this impossible, because they require you not to love, per se, but to really care, and really give—if only because if you don’t, then the thing becomes a monster. It is alive, it is not a thing that withers and desiccates if you do not care for it. It becomes a worse thing and harm is done, if you don’t care, no matter how much you’ll never get back when doing so.
I imagine the Gotei being a lot like that, and while I don’t imagine Hinamori or Hitsugaya loving the Gotei (Hinamori might have been, during various periods of her life, closer to that word than Hitsugaya will ever be; and I think at points may have even thought so, or entertained the slippage being loving the Gotei and loving other things; but even then, even then—) they definitely care a lot. It’s a troubled care, and something I find really interesting about both of them is their ongoing negotiation of how to believe in some version of the Gotei but not believe in it but adhere but not adhere but fuck all but not fuck all.
You asked, “In some of your fics, Momo frets over how much being a Shinigami takes so much from him without giving him much back for his efforts and I wonder if he hasn’t thought the same about her?”
I think he does, but in a different way than Hinamori does for him. In my version of their story, Hinamori has a certainty about how the math works out, and it’s not really in Hitsugaya’s favor, and she mourns that. Regardless of how she understands Hitsugaya to have internalized it, she is going to mourn that. It’s not that she doesn’t care about the first part, it’s just part of some other math.
Thinking about Hinamori, Hitsugaya has also done the math, but it’s not really the straight math he’s focused on. He’s more interested in how Hinamori is carrying it, if that makes sense. He wants to know her thought process, and what he sees there is going to impact how he feels about it. Like, the math’s bad, it will always be bad, but is it hurting her? Does her attitude toward it feel like delusion masking pain, or is it the clarity of acceptance coupled with conviction? She carries it differently than he does, he knows, and as long as he can be certain that it’s not that first thing, he can accept her acceptance. He admires her for it, that particular kind of resolute clarity. His version of it is not the same (and to him feels like a worse version). It’s not naivete; it’s not delusion, or desperation. It is Hinamori.
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stemmmm · 1 year
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my thoughts on harvest moon games at present:
SNES: playing currently GB: my white whale. borrowed it from a friend when I was 7 and my mom made me share my games with my little cousin who fucked up my friend's allegedly completed save file, so i never got to borrow her games anymore. might as well be unplayed GB2-3: unplayed 64: the best one Back to Nature: unplayed Save the Homeland: unplayed but im scared of this one Friends of Mineral Town: had a vivid dream christmas night when i was 9 that I got this game as a loose gba cartridge that was lost in the wrapping garbage and I tore through the trash for it the next day, then got it for my 10th birthday and played it instead of playing with my friends and got in trouble. anyways the game's fine. had the girl version A Wonderful Life: unplayed. i've seen gameplay and it looks like my nightmares so im excited for the remake to not look like that DS: made me realize im not into men. hacked it because the marriage requirements were absolute bullshit, even though i had the girl version and hated every bachelor so i picked the one that would give me the baby in colors i liked more. learned how to google game info with this one and was furious that the american version took the lesbian "best friends" out so i couldn't be gay with the mermaid Magical Melody: tried to play but need to try harder because horrible feeling controls cannot stop me from marrying jamie and immediately being locked out of the game because it panics and realizes they dont have a gender (favorite HM lore by far) Island of Happiness through Trio of Towns: unplayed Mineral town remake: the few QOL features cannot make up for the fact that they took out rival romances--the best thing HM games had going for them Pioneers of Olive Town: i have some choice words to say about this game but i'd need a little refresher before i said them because i played this game in a binge during a 1 week free trial where instead of giving a demo, they let me download the whole game and go hog wild so as far as I feel, i might as well have beat the game because it didn't seem like much was left. some deranged decisions in this one
EDIT I FORGOT THE RUNE FACTORY GAMES they count by nature of using harvest moon in the taglines and i think theyre the same publisher if not the same dev
RF1: didn't beat but watched a friend beat and decided i was satisfied with that and stopped playing after hours of trying to tame the mermaid boss with the monster glove RF2: insane that they put the dating sim portion of the game as a prerequisite to the actual game portion of it. so i had a kid and then instead of ever even once entering the dungeons i played the multiplayer minigames endlessly and became richer than god before i put the game down unbeaten the wii one (frontier?): dope looking game, shame that it's unplayable all others: unplayed. will likely never play them bc the screenshots of the way your farm looks on google make me want to vom
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theauspolchronicles · 4 years
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Fun (Mostly Free) Media to Consume While In Isolation:
The McElroy Brothers! They make podcasts (but also Monster Factory, a youtube series) that are good wholesome fun like My Brother, My Brother, and Me, The Adventure Zone, Sawbones, Shmanners, and a really wholesome one that Griffin does with his wife is called Wonderful! Where they literally just talk about nice things they like. There’s about a million hours of content to get through. They also have a limited run podcast called The McElroy Brothers Will Be In Trolls World Tour where they got high off edibles and then thought “hey, we should try and get tiny roles in the new Trolls movie” and it chronicles their journey of how they actually fucking did. (Note: real old episodes of MBMBAM are bad. Just listen to the most recent 400)
Stan is like Netflix but Australian owned so not a giant global mega-corporation. I do believe they’re still doing a 30 day trial if you haven’t got it already. It has tons of great shows (The Office both US and UK, Seinfeld, Friends, Parks and Recreation, Community, Scrubs, How I Met Your Mother, The IT Crowd, Adventure Time, a bunch of Hamish and Andy content, etc).
Ours Poetica: feeling a different vibe? Why not have a bunch of different poets and youtubers read their favourite poems to you. It might even inspire you creatively.
Unraveled: if you haven’t heard of Brian David Gilbert, what are you doing with your life? He’s funny, he’s energetic, he’s willing to put an IMMENSE amount of time and effort into constructing weird deep dive takes on video games to answer questions like “which Castlevania monster is the hottest?” or “which Mortal Kombat fighter is the best cuddler?” You don’t even need to play video games to enjoy this series. I know I’ve never played most of the games he talks about but he’s just so damn engaging it doesn’t matter. You can find the whole series on the Polygon youtube channel (same as Monster Factory!)
Danny Gonzalez: also an enjoyable Youtuber that finds stupid things on the internet (sometimes the radio) and just makes fun of them. Pretty simple. He also does comedic music.
Auspol Explained: ever wanted to learn more about how Australian politics works? This channel explains it all!
Buzzfeed Unsolved: You’ve seen the screencaps and gifs now watch Shane yell inappropriate things at demons and ghosts as he visits haunted places to see if ghosts are real. Also they discuss creepy unsolved murders. Maybe don’t binge this if you’re easily spooked while home alone.
Project Gutenberg: you can download .epub and kindle files of TONS of books FOR FREE. Ever wanted to read Frankenstein? Just download it straight to your phone! Alice in Wonderland? Little Women (to see what changed between the book and the recent movie)? They’re there!
The Animorphs Books: there’s over 60 of them and someone uploaded the all as e-books. If you never read them as a kid (why not?) it’s a sci-fi series aimed at children back when adults looked at the horrors of war and thought “yeah, kids should be fine with that.” A band of teenagers gain the power to turn into any animal they touch and must use guerrilla (and gorilla) tactics to fight a bunch of mind controlling alien slugs slowly taking over Earth. Also: they nearly die ALL THE TIME! FUN FOR KIDS!
Add your suggestions to the list!
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Rust and Black Thorn Trees. Chapter 2.
The girl tiredly wandered, getting increasingly exhausted.
She didn’t know where she was.
She knew nothing.
What Miranda neglected to focus on, however, was the fact that she also transformed when on the brink of death, to attempt to find something, anything, to eat, or to wear.
She saw a pack of lycans.
She silently transformed, as how Mother taught her.
Or, more accurately, beat into her.
She stalked the lycans for the perfect moment.
They grabbed bunnies as though they were chips, the high-pitched screaming echoing through her ears.
As one of the lycans had a rabbits leg in it’s mouth, Dasha struck the lycan closest to her, slashing it’s throat. She quickly moved from lycan to lycan before they could react.
As she transformed back, she immediately started tearing the flesh from the lycans with her teeth. She found that eating right after transforming prevents the nausea and the puking, it doesn’t prevent the leaking of the liquid from her eyes and nose, though.
She binged, knowing that this may be her last meal for a while.
She could smell winter on the horizon, and this was her life for the next six years.
Over these six gruesome years, she was able to find the occasional lost tourist or hunter in the forests surrounding Heisenberg’s Factory.
She stole their weapons, and their clothing.
She found that she preferred men’s clothing.
The girl would transform less and less, using the limited ammo and resources she had.
Karl Heisenberg watched her last hunt, as it was the closest to the factory she’d ever been.
Risky.
Hmm, he thought as he watched her dance with the lycans.
With a shotgun shell to the face, of course.
“Hey, you know, there isn’t anyone who can sell you ammo around here,” Heisenberg said, walking toward the girl. She jumped, cautious, “if you run out, you’re kinda fucked.” he stated, putting out his cigar.
She had heard of Lord Heisenberg. Never met him though.
“What are you implying?” she spat.
“All i’m saying is that running out of shotgun shells during the wintertime, when it’s nearly below zero, can be deadly,” he paused, spitting on the cold leaves, “especially for someone as tiny as you.” he laughed at her glare.
“Don’t call me tiny.” she replied, walking past him.
In the recesses of her mind, she was okay with it.
Heisenberg led Dasha to his factory.
It was loud.
The metal clanging against itself, the periodic releases of steam, and the...chainsaw revving?
Heisenberg opened a hatch, and screamed “SHUT YOUR HOLE, ROTTEN CUNT.”
The revving stopped.
“Is one of your failed experiments down there, Karl?” she teased, taking off her jacket as the humidity made it extremely warm, and uncomfortably sweaty. It revealed how muscular she had grown. She was still slim, but a little buffer from when she was with Her.
He seemed taken aback by her calling him Karl, instead of Lord, or even just his last name.
He liked that she didn’t pay his status any mind, he knows he didn’t give a fuck.
“Maybe. I’ll throw you down there if you decide to say some shit.” Heisenberg said with a slight growl.
“I could take it, i bet.” she purred.
“Don’t tempt me, bitch.” Heisenberg whispered, emphasizing ‘bitch’
The girl lightly skipped down the hallway, amusing Heisenberg.
“If I didn'thave a spare room I'd make you sleep outside.” Heisenberg called. She turned and nodded, “It’s right over here.” he pointed to a door on the side of another hallway. The room they were currently in had the bare necessities, albeit it was a mess.
She really didn’t mind though.
She walked to the room he was talking about, and opened the door to a bed that seemed to be collecting dust.
In fact, everything seemed to be barely touched.
Despite her past with cleaning, she needed to at least dust everything down.
“You got something i can wipe this shit down with? Looks like a tomb in here.” she yelled.
“Yeah, gimme a sec, christ” Heisenberg seemed to be struggling with something. She left the room, confused, and then amused at the sight before her.
He seemed to be trying to fix his oven, or cleaning it, whatever he was doing, he was struggling with it.
“Pfft, need help?” she asked, smirking.
“I’d rather kill myself than get help from you.” he coldly replied, sighing as he took his head out of the oven. His face was slightly stained with ash, and he was sweating. She leaned up again the counter, looking at him with an eyebrow raised. Now that she had a closer look, he seemed to be cleaning to oven judging by the ash stained rag soaked in water he was holding.
“This isn’t how you do it, let me help you.” she demanded. Heisenberg was slightly surprised by this, but silently swallowed a bite of his pride, and stood up, arms crossed.
“So how do YOU do it?” Heisenberg asked in a condescending tone.
“You got baking soda?” she suddenly asked, “’cause we’re gonna need a decent amount.” she added, taking out the oven racks.
“I have a lot of it, i guess.” Heisenberg replied, slightly confused.
“Do you realize how much of a fire hazard this is? I might scrub your entire fucking house down at this rate.” Dasha exclaimed, “where’s the baking soda?”
“There.” he pointed to a cabinet. She opened it and grabbed the tin, holding it for a moment to see if she’d need another one.
“Vinegar?” she asked.
“In the same cabinet.” Heisenberg said, annoyed and impatient.
“This is gonna take a day, I hope you know.” Dasha laughed.
“Fucking WHAT?” Heisenberg asked, shocked.
“Yeah. I have to-”
“I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME AND YOU’RE CLEANING MY OVEN.” Heisenberg said, frustrated.
“...Do you wanna know my name?” she asked, pouring baking soda and water into a cup, “or how to clean your own fuckin’ oven?” she said, sarcastically.
“Both’s fine I guess.” Heisenberg rolled his eyes.
“Dasha Jelíneková. That’s my name.”
“Dein Name ist schön...” Heisenberg muttered.
“...what?” Dasha asked, confused.
“Nothin’. Explain why it’s gonna take a day.” he quickly changed topics.
“Well, wiping down the interior with a soaked rag might get some of the grime off, but it won’t get it all off,” she paused as she mixed more baking soda in with the water to make a paste, “deep cleaning your oven like this also helps heat disperse evenly.” she explained.
“Seriously..?” he muttered, thinking about how his last meal was damn-near raw in some spots, and burnt in others.
“So, you take baking soda and water, make a paste with it like this,” she stuck the cup in his face, “you got rubber gloves, right?” she asked.
“Take a fuckin’ guess.” Heisenberg laughed at the question.
“Hand ‘em to me, dickhead.” she said, making a poor attempt to hide a smile.
“By the way, dunno if this has anythin’ to do with you, but i’ve been finding pretty large lycan carcasses that are either brutally killed and then eaten, or seemingly killed in self defense, all of ‘em had gnarly claw marks,” he paused, “know anything about that?” He asked. Her blood ran cold, but she tried to keep her composure. 
“Maybe it was a mutated Lycan.” she quietly said, applying the paste to every crevice in the oven. Heisenberg was confused as to why she was acting strange, and more importantly, how she knew the Lycans were caused by...that.
“Well, uh, keep an eye out, yanno?” Heisenberg uncomfortably laughed in the awkward silence.
“Can you plug the sink, and pour some baking soda on ‘em? Then pour the vinegar on ‘em.”
“Okay...what now?” Heisenberg asked.
“Wait for it to stop foaming, and stick em under the water. In the sink, i mean.” she explained, finishing applying the last of the paste.
“Okay...” he muttered.
“Now, we wait for at least ten hours.”
“...Are you serious?” Heisenberg asked, seemingly shocked.
“Why wouldn’t i be?” she replied, confused.
He looked down, “That doesn’t seem reasonable-”
“You don’t seem to be either, Mister Heisenberg.” she smirked at him.
“You know...” he started, “You should be happy I haven’t chucked you down that chute.” he threatened, towering over her small frame with a hand in her hair, mimicking a ponytail, pulling her close to him. He outwardly smelled like cigar smoke, gasoline, and sweat. His breath reeked of whiskey, his hot breath on her cheek. But she smelled more than just that, due to the experimentation with the Cadou.
She could smell what people feel, she always sort of could, but this was heightened by the experimentation.
This was new, it smelled like a heavy, rich devil’s food cake.
It smelled like sin.
She glanced downward at his crotch, and he was definitely pitching a tent.
“You really don’t want this, Karl.” she whispered. It was true, at least in her mind.
No one should want a monster.
She didn’t even know what she wanted, outside of Her dead.
Staring directly into his eyes, she gently placed her hand on the hand he was using to grip her hair. He violently let go, glaring and walking outside.
He hated how similar, yet different they both were. He wanted her to stay with him, despite barely knowing eachother.
It was a bag of mixed emotions.
Dasha followed behind, she found Heisenberg collecting firewood.
“I’m makin’ hotdogs.” he stated.
“On a fire, I’m assuming?” she asked, “i had to learn how to make a fire by myself. Got good at it too.” she bragged.
Heisenberg ignored her comment, “Can you get the ‘dogs and the buns for me outta the fridge?”
“Sure, what rack are they on?” she asked.
“Figure it out.” he coldly replied.
She scoffed, and went back inside, muttering to herself.
Heisenberg thought for a while while she was inside.
Why did she know about the Cadou? Why does she live in the forest? Is it by choice? I wonder if she’s useful...I wonder if Miranda- he thought. He zoned out, and realized his hands were dangerously close to the fire. He nonchalantly pulled them away, added a little more wood, and grabbed a chair. He thought for a moment, and pulled another chair over from the wood pile.
She came back, hot dog buns and hot dogs in tow.
Heisenberg used his powers to make two metal sticks come to him.
“What the fuck.” she whispered, taken aback.
“Oh. Here.” he said, handing one to Dasha.
“No, what the fuck was that-?” Dasha nervously laughed.
“Oh, yeah. I can do that. Only metal though.” Heisenberg explained.
“Huh.” she replied, giving a bun and a hot dog to him. He stuck the tapered metal point through the middle of the hot dog, and stuck it over the fire.
Dasha did the same.
They sat in uncomfortable silence for what felt like a hour, but really was five minutes.
Heisenberg, obviously, was the first to break the silence.
“So I know you’ve never really mentioned it, but I’m thinkin’ you LIVE in the forest, right?” Heisenberg asked.
“Yeah. Why?” she asked, holding the hot dog above the fire.
“Just haven’t really seen anyone willingly live in the forest.” Heisenberg shrugged. There was another period of silence between them as the fire popped and crackled.
“Do you live in the forest willingly?” Heisenberg asked, taking his hot dog off the metal stick, placing it into the bun.
She looked at him, and opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t find the words to describe her situation. She blinked a couple times, trying to find the words.
“I don’t know.” she furrowed her brow, and had an unmistakable look of i’m-remembering-things-i-don’t-want-to-think-about. Heisenberg wasn’t amazing with emotions, despite being able to read someone like a book.
“Sorry.” he quietly said, looking away from her.
“You had no way of knowing. It’s fine.” She leaned towards him. Then, she took her hot dog away from the fire, and just ate it off the stick. This sight amused Heisenberg.
“How long have you lived in the forest?” Heisenberg asked with his mouth full.
“Around six years? Hard to keep track.” she said, after swallowing a bite.
“Damn. So how old are you now?”
“I don’t know, around twenty-three, i think?” she replied.
“That checks out.” Heisenberg smugly joked.
“At least I don’t look like I’m from World War II.” she retorted, laughing.
“And what if I am, huh?” Heisenberg joked, knowing he was in fact born around when WWII ended.
“I was kidding, shut the fuck up.” she laughed. Heisenberg realized that he really, really liked her laugh. Maybe it’s from the isolation in the factory, and now he finally has someone that seems to enjoy his company. This feeling scared him, just a little bit.
“Yeah, sure.” he laughed. There was silence again.
“This might be coming out of nowhere, but could you...refer to me as a boy? I know this is strange coming from someone who looks like me, but-” he got cut off.
“I get it, it’s alright. No worries. You got a new name?” he asked.
“Dimitri.”
“Still a pretty name.” Heisenberg muttered.
“I heard that.” Dimitri laughed.
“Oh.”
The both of them finished their hot dogs, and they went inside. It was getting cold.
“Starting tomorrow, you’re gonna help me around the factory. Otherwise I won’t hesitate to throw you out.” Heisenberg threatened.
“Alright, you’re gonna have to show me how it works around here though, depending on my job.” he replied, taking his jacket off. He got into his room and rummaged through his bag, looking for a tank top or something. He found a black one that he looted off of a tourist, and swapped into it. Even when it was freezing outside, it was mildly uncomfortable to wear a sweater like he was. He didn’t even think about his immense number of scars being visible, from various creatures and pitiful self-defense attempts. One benefit from the Cadou was that it gave him a healing factor. The only downside, in his eyes, was that killing himself was impossible. He walked out of the room, and into the living room. Heisenberg was making multiple small metal parts like gears and screws float in a certain fashion, making outlines of various things.
He sat on the couch that looked as though it was about to fall apart.
“You’re almost as scarred up as me,” Karl laughed as he pulled up his shirt, revealing a multitude of scar marks, and a happy trail.
Fuck, okay maybe I do know what I want... he thought. He felt a small tingling around his cheeks, as he laughed. He turned around and pulled up the back of his shirt to reveal some of the worst scars he’s gotten. Heisenberg felt himself tense up, his cheeks went red too.
“Can i..?” he asked as he reached his hand out halfway.
“Touch them? Sure.” Dimitri replied, scooting backwards.
He felt his calloused hands gently trace over all of his scars, even the smaller ones. Despite Karl’s rough and mean demeanor, he was so gentle. His hand gently ran down to his waist. He was surprised, but it was calming.
Karl pulled away, fearful of being intimate with him. He had just met the guy, why did he feel this pull?
“I was okay with that, you know.” he said, facing him and letting his shirt fall back to it’s place. He moved a bit closer, wanting the closeness of someone that he never had. “...Please?”
Heisenberg was confused. He was reluctant because of trust issues, yet Dimitri was the polar opposite?
Why did he come here..?
I wanted to use him as an experiment, why-?
“No.” he stated, “I can’t.”
He wordlessly left, Dimitri assuming into his room.
He sighed, and left into 'his' room too.
"Shit." he muttered, thinking about how bad that was. Dimitri went to sleep, trying to forget the entire damn day.
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patrick-hockstutter · 4 years
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If you decide to write bowers gang fan fiction again, could you do like a “bowers gang quarantine” basically what it be like being quarantined with them. I know it’s modern but like still
Y O we doin this right THE FUCK now. And I love the idea of doing this modern day! I actually got a modern Bowers Gang request ages ago that I always wanted to do but never got around to, so I’ll mix it in with this! (and maybe do it after this, who knows, quarantine got me feelin’ some type of way...)
Victor:
This boy is so easily stressed out that he’s in constant need of a soothing activity to keep his mind busy
So you immediately introduce him to the world of face masks and bubble baths
And it’s like this boy has t r a n s f o r m e d
He’s constantly just GLOWING
But he still needs to keep his brain busy, face mask on and ready to go
Victor is an Animal Crossing baby right now
If he goes anywhere, his turquoise switch lite is always in hand
Everything going on has got him so stressed out, so he focuses 100% on his island (which is fucking beautiful at this point)
He then convinces you to get the game and a coral switch lite, and you also get to the point where you can’t put it down
The two of you can be found laying in bed all day visiting each other's islands, filling up your museums, and paying off your loans to Nook
(wearing face masks)
When he’s not playing Animal Crossing, he’s channeling all his energy into his doodles
With some encouragement from you, he starts streaming his art on Twitch and surprisingly gets a pretty good following
You love seeing all the support he’s getting on social media but you juuuuuuust can’t help yourself...
So you post a picture of him laying in bed, playing Animal Crossing with a bright green face mask on and his hair pushed back on Instagram
He’s embarrassed at first, but it eventually gets turned into a relatable meme and he honestly is quite proud of that
It can now be seen as a custom emote for his Twitch subscribers
(and as your phone lock screen)
Belch:
Honestly couldn’t be happier to be on government mandated lockdown
(especially with you)
Belch is such a homebody so he is in complete bliss rn
The two of you spend most days snuggling, snacking, binging shows on Netflix and watching conspiracy theories on YouTube
Y’all watch so much tv at this point that you’ve actually moved the mattress into the living room and made it into a deluxe blanket fort
The two of you swore to start cooking more since you couldn’t go to restaurants anymore, but damn did Domino’s have some good ass coupons...
Long story short, you ordered pizzas more times than you’d care to admit
But whatever, self care, am I right???
Belch also used this time as an excuse to force you to learn about cars
He always said that if you were gonna drive one, you’d need to know how to fix it
You’d always figure out how to cute your way out of it, but not this time
There was n o  e s c a p e
He taught you to change your tires, headlights, oil, brake pads, check all your fluids, the air filter, E V E R Y T H I N G
By the time Belch was done with you, you were basically ready to open up your own auto shop
But then it was straight back to the blanket fort
And although Belch was straight vibin’ in quarantine, god did he miss driving
So he would take you on these nice midnight drives
Sure, he would blast music as loud as he could, but it was so relaxing to look at the stars and the occasional deer that passed by
Henry:
Absolutely follows 0 of the rules at first
He’ll go to the grocery store if he damn well pleases whenever he damn well pleases
Even if he doesn’t need or want anything, the big ‘fuck you’ to government orders is enough for him
At first he just lounged around all day watching tv, but he finally started to get bored
So he started sneaking out of his house and into your bedroom despite the lockdown order
And as much as you wanted him with you, you refused to let him inside
You were a goody two shoes, what could you say? (but of course this is why Henry was drawn to you; he got off on tainting you any way he could)
So he persisted, but you could tell he was doing it mostly to be a jackass
Until one day he showed up looking like a lost puppy, so you caved
You were also a softie, what could you say?
Henry wouldn’t say it, but you knew the lockdown order had finally sunk in and he realized that he would have to be quarantined with his father
So you decided to be his safe haven (and his constant distraction)
You introduced him to your PS4 (he’d never had the luxury of having his own game system) and it opened up a whole new world for him
Games like Destiny and Red Dead Redemption really gave him an outlet and he especially loved that he could control what he did with his character in Red Dead
Which then led him to RPG games like Wolf Among Us and Until Dawn
The two of you would pull all nighters playing these games, constantly debating on which choice to make and how it would impact the story
And when you two weren’t playing games, the extra time quarantined together actually encouraged him to start opening up to you
So one minute the two of you might be swearing at a video game while the next you might be deep in conversation over a cozy cup of cocoa
Patrick:
You thought he was a nightmare before?
Well, I hope you’re prepared to handle him 24/7 for god knows how long
This boy is jumping off the fucking walls okay
And he can’t take it out on the Losers Club, so it has to come out somehow...
This motherfucker starts a prank channel on YouTube and decides that you are his target
Sometimes it’s as harmless as pretending he factory reset your iPhone
Sometimes it’s as infuriating as destroying your eyeshadow palettes and pressing sidewalk chalk into the pans
Sometimes it’s as terrifying as him chasing you around in a monster mask with a kitchen knife while you’re just trying to paint your damn nails
But no matter how pissed you get, he gives you that dumb stupid cute smirk you love to hate and kisses you, reminding you why you tolerate him in the first place
And as much as you think you can, you really can’t stay mad at him for long
Because when he isn’t devising more dubious schemes for internet views, he is alllllllll over you
Somehow being quarantined has amped up his testosterone an ungodly amount
And there’s only so much PornHub’s donated free subscriptions will take care of
But when all these fun and games finally come to a rest, Patrick is jumping off the walls in a completely different way
He has never had to be cooped up for so long, and his mental health disorders are really getting the best of him right now
It gets worse during the night, so you’ve started taking him out to stargaze to calm down
Afterwards, he finally starts to calm down and you actually get to spend some quality time with him
You’ve also found that puzzle games give him something to problem solve with rather than focus on his own labyrinth of a psyche
And in these moments the two of you can finally relax, listen to a creepy yet hilarious episode of Last Podcast On The Left, work on some sort of puzzle game, and enjoy some peace and fucking quiet for once
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hotchocolatefanfics · 5 years
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Planet of The Disney Apes
The following is a humorous one-shot of some of the PoTA characters reacting to the news of being bought by Disney and the possible fourth movie while poking fun at the characters. Doesn’t really follow the usual setting for the PoTA universe, just something random to laugh at.
Enjoy!
~~~~~
Thump! 

“ Allie like tea?” Bad Ape asked his plush alligator (which he apparently named it ‘Ali’…Of course he’d give that old thing a name) as he offered it a plastic tea cup.
Thump!
“Why isn’t there anything good on to watch?” Complained McCullough, as he flipped through the TV stations.
“Looney Tunes is on.” Suggested Preacher, though he looked uncomfortable sitting on the couch next to the Colonel.
“That’s for children.” McCullough remarked. “Besides, it might give Donkey and One Eye ideas.”
Caesar wasn’t sure why he was so annoyed. The longer he sat on the floor, the more he wanted to break something…Particuarly, McCullough’s skull…But wait, he always felt like doing that!
Hmm…Then maybe what he wanted to break was the blasted tea set that Bad Ape had found and insisted on having a Tea Party with his plush alligator…No, that’s too mean!
All Bad Ape did was invite-no! Drag him and Winter into playing with him…To be honest, Caesar didn’t object because he couldn’t find a good reason not to.
Besides, Rocket was baking cookies and offered to give them to Bad Ape for their little Tea Party! Ever since the balding chimpanzee discovered the oven and the magic of cookie mix, he’s turned the kitchen into a cookie factory.
Caesar guessed that Bad Ape only invited Winter so he wouldn’t feel left out but Winter likely only said yes because he knew Bad Ape was, more than likely, the only one in the room who won’t manipulate him or try to kill him.
Thump!
No, it wasn’t the Tea Party or McCullough’s presence that was annoying him…It was Koba and Red playing darts….And using HIS picture as the target!
What will stop them from using the real thing? He wondered bitterly. Why does Red and Koba have darts anyway?…Why does Bad Ape have a Tea Set and why does Winter have a Barbie doll collection?
Preacher glanced around nervously, trying to think of another suggestion. “Ok, uhh…What about King Kong? That’s not for kids.”
McCullough snorted. “We’re living with King Kong, Preacher-and there’s more than one!”
Just then, the front door slammed open. “Father?!”
Blue Eyes.
Finally! Someone who doesn’t want to kill me or isn’t childish!
“Blue Eyes?” Caesar called back.
Blue Eyes ran into the room and paused at the scene before him. Eyes darting from his father sitting on the floor with Winter and Bad Ape, McCullough and Preacher on the couch and Red and Koba behind them.
“Uhh…What going on?” He asked.
Before Caesar could answer, Bad Ape exclaimed: “It a Tea Party!” Which, of course, prompted snickers from Koba and Red.
“You mean YOU’RE having a Tea Party!” McCullough corrected. “The rest of us are relaxing like REAL men!”
A bing suddenly came from he kitchen and then Rocket, sounding every bit like the ape-reincarnation of the Cookie Monster himself, squealed: “COOKIES!!!” Very shortly after, he appeared with a platter full of the chocolate chip goods.
Blue Eyes, still not sure what to make of the unusual scene, blinked. “…Ok…” Then he remembered why he was there at all. “Fox! Sold us!”
Now it was Caesar’s turn to be confused. “What?” He asked.
McCullough, barely listening shrugged. “So we’re moving studios. Big deal-“
“Disney bought us!!!” Blue Eyes blurted out., causing everyone to gasp. Even Koba and Red dropped their darts.
“Disney?” Caesar stood up, forgetting all about the Tea Party. “You mean the-?”
“Yes!” Answered Blue Eyes with growing panic.
“With the-“
“Yes!”
Caesar felt panic rising himself at that point. “Oh no…”
“They’re making. FOURTH MOVIE!!!”
If the others weren’t scared before, they definitely were now. The only one who wasn’t hooting like the other apes, or saying ‘no’ like McCullough, was Bad Ape. He picked up his alligator plush.
“What going on?” He asked it.
He made the stuffed animal turn to the others and back to himself and then shake it’s head. As if to say ‘I don’t know.’
Bad Ape hummed in thought. “Join in?” He asked.
He shook the plush up and down in a nodding motion.
“Ok!” Bad Ape replied before making panicked hoots of his own.
“Guys please!” Turns out, Preacher was the only one, other than Bad Ape who wasn’t panicking. “We don’t need to panic here!-We all know what happens when we panic!”
“Oh look who’s suddenly more than just a yes-man!” Snarked McCullough as he too stood up from the couch.
Preacher frowned at him. “So would you rather have Koba make a death list, Red pick up fights with everyone, Winter’s old phobias return, Rocket to eat all the cookie-dough ice cream we have, Caesar act grumpy all the time and sigh ‘why me?’ when he’s alone and you to drink yourself into a stupor instead of talking about this like ‘real men’?”
That left McCullough speechless for a moment. “That doesn’t happen when we’re stressed-!”
“Not! Stressed!” Rocket interjected. Before inching his way back into the kitchen. “…Want. Ice cream. Now…” He added before disappearing back inside.
….Maybe they should stop buying the cookie mix and ice cream for a while…
Red suddenly noticed Koba was no longer with him and glanced around for the scarred bonobo. “Kob-“
Just as suddenly as Koba disappeared, he reappeared with two guns and handed one to the confused Red. “Get gun!” He yelled out, startling everyone.
“Koba, what are you-“ Koba answered before Caesar could finish the question.
“Going! To war! Kill! Mouse! Kill! All! Of them!”
Realization set in to what he meant. Caesar and Blue Eyes glanced at each other in fear and Winter, scared beyond belief, hid behind Bad Ape-who was busy eating cookies in the midst of all of this.
“Uhh, Koba?” Preacher’s past look of confidence was gone…Possibly due to the fact he was talking to the very ape who started the whole Human-Ape War to begin with. “Not to ruin your dreams of mass murder, but the Disney kind of rules the world and…Well, Mickey Mouse is their pet. If you kill him, I’m 99% sure you’ll get the death penalty AND be cursed a thousand times over.”
Koba frowned at him, looking as though he was contemplating adding the young soldier to his ‘death list’. “Stupid human! Am already dead! They! Can’t do! Anything! To Koba!” He then turned to Red. “Red. Follow?” He asked.
Red honestly didn’t know how to answer him. He still had more respect for Koba than he did for Caesar, and would still follow Koba but even he knew this was crazy. “…I…Don’t think we. Have enough bullets.”
Koba’s eyes went wide as he realized that was true. “Oh nuts!”
“It doesn’t matter if we fight them, Disney will likely ruin our franchise anyway.” McCullough fumed. “Look what they did with the Marvel and Star Wars franchise! They all suffer from Dead Horse Syndrome!”
“Colonel.” Caesar interrupted, trying to stop his rant-to no avail.
“And lets not forget all the ANNOYING songs and musicals, the cash-grabbing remakes and the worst of the worst! The Air Buddies!”
“Not Air Buddies!” Yelped Blue Eyes.
Koba growled, which made Red’s eyes widen. “You not plan. To kill puppies, do you?”
“No!” Koba half yelled at the rusted furred gorilla. “I kill! The MERCH!”
“…Red likes puppies?” Asked Blue Eyes, in a less panic voice.
Red’s face flushed before twisting into a scowl. “I’m. Allowed. To like things!”
There was an awkward pause before Winter, finally, said something. “…I like puppies too…And kittens…And cookies.” He finished by taking a cookie and eating it whole.
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guardiandae · 5 years
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I’ve been binging horror movies lately, because it’s August September and that means we’re already in phase two of Halloween!!! So I wanted to share some of what I’ve watched, and my thoughts on the films! 
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Below: (Event Horizon, Thirteen Ghosts, Pandorum, The Mangler, The Graveyard Shift, I Am Mother)
Event Horizon (1997) - A crew ventures into space to retrieve an abandoned ship, but quickly realize they need to try to save themselves. Wow. I thought the acting in this was amazing, especially since I eyeballed the 27% rotten score before watching and assumed it was going to be pure trash. First half is rock fucking solid. Sadly, they could’ve done better later on, but I saw an in-depth youtube video on it beforehand which explained that a ton of the gore and hell scenes had to be trimmed out, and a director’s cut never emerged. That’s exactly what would’ve made this movie better... and also, frankly, if they cut out the monster-of-the-week gimmick towards the end and instead just let hell itself slowly be unleashed... now I wish they’d do this movie justice with a proper remake. Anna oop-.  Stars Laurence Fishburne and he is wonderful. Warnings: some disturbing gore/mutilation, but I (a very squeamish person) was able to handle it and wish there was more tbh, not actually much for jumpscares
Thirteen Ghosts (2001) - A ghost-hunting collector dies and leaves his house to his remaining relatives, but they realize quickly................ IT’S A TRAP. Pretty cheesy, but I love the way the entire house is like a giant, elaborate puzzlebox, I’m actually curious how they did that kind of effect. Plus the ghosts are neat and don’t get enough screentime and I’m gay @ the Angry Princess. If you watch, take a moment to google the ghosts and read their backstories (or look in the DVD extras, I think) because the movie doesn’t expand on them. Stars Tony Shalhoub and I stan him. Warnings: a lot of blood and body mutilation, titties on display, probably jumpscares but it’s all old hat to me and cheesy imo, I just wanted to revisit it
Pandorum (2009) - A crew is in space but the sleep pods malfunction and when they wake up, some terrible shit has gone down and there are cannibal monsters now. This one fully fucking deserves the 28% rotten score. I saw a review that it was underrated and the plot sounded interesting, but once I started watching I couldn’t handle the awful fucking audio balance. The characters whisper a lot, meanwhile the monsters SCREECH non fucking stop. I got so fed up, tbh, I just watched it on fast forward and jumped ahead. I’m not convinced the plot was done as brilliantly as the reviewer I listened to wanted to believe. It was pretty stupid, but that’s just my opinion or whatever. Warnings: umm idk. probably blood and the usual death. Audio that is jarring - not frightening but really fucking jarring and obnoxious. Don’t waste your time. Watch Event Horizon instead tbh.
The Mangler (1995) - I didn’t know industrial laundry press machines were a Thing but apparently they were, also I’ll never feel like my boss is an asshole ever again after watching this. When I was little my family rented a couple movies regularly, and I only ever wanted to watch horror movies, especially every single Stephen King thing I could get my hands on. I’m not such a staunch fan anymore, but I randomly remembered this one and wanted to see it again. I didn’t remember 99% of the plot. It stars Ted Levine (Captain Leeland Stottlemeyer from Monk??? I was SHOOK) and also Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger, guys). Warnings: blood and detailed gore. People get pulped up in this big machine, and they show the aftermath. The last death is pretty fun and creative, though. Don’t take the movie too seriously.
The Graveyard Shift (1990) - A shitty boss hires people to clean up his shitty factory and then they all almost get eaten by rats. This movie is ditto to The Mangler. The two mentally go hand in hand for me. Both involves imagery of machines + blood, but this one has more focus on the rats in the mill. It’d probably be a dry watch for anyone else, but it personally OFFENDS ME, A MAINER, because the actor who plays Warwick (shitty boss and rapist in the film) attempted to do a Mainer accent but ended up sounding like a cross between German and a few heavily stereotyped New England words like “CAH”. I mainly watched for the imagery that still stuck in my mind since my childhood -- the blood in the cotton machine and the rats feeding on it, them falling into a massive pool of blood, the guy getting his arm bitten off, and the monster’s death at the end. Honestly felt like the best part of the movie was the proto-remix song at the end which is just a funky beat overlaid with snippets of dialogue from the movie. And that’s not saying much 😂 Warnings: blood and gore, and uhhh a main villain who is a total asshole and also mentioned to be a rapist :/  Don’t bother, just listen to the end credits.
I Am Mother (2019, Netflix!) - SUPER GOOD GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. This one is a sci-fi film, but I’d also consider it a thriller/psychological kind of horror film? The plot is about a robot (Mother) that was programmed to raise human children after the extinction of mankind. It’s one of those movies where, for a while, you’re really left wondering what is real and that’s why I’d rec it as a horror, plus I feel like the philosophical angle is unsettling in its own way. The actors, including the voice actor for Mother, are A+++ Warnings: post-apocalyptic setting, death, I cried at the end???
I know there are better movies but I kind of wanted to binge old shitty ones tbh. I didn’t expect Event Horizon to be so good! Well, half good, but that half was a diamond in the rough imo. Maybe it’s just the fanfic writer in me that lives for the potential of how it could’ve been. and I Am Mother isn’t in that “shitty old horror” category, it’s new and just super fucking good and doesn’t pull punches and it takes the plot thread all the way through to its conclusion, please go watch it.
If you guys have any recs I’d love to hear some! I prefer psychological horror when I really want to be scared, tbh. I loathe jumpscares, and as I mentioned above, genuine blood/gore is bad unfun time for me, so I will not be watching any torture-porn like Hostel. But I’m thinking of watching some of the classics I feel I never really got to enjoy, like Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, maybe Alien. I also wanna rewatch some stuff like Hellraiser, The Thing, and Annihilation. And at some point I’ll probably seek out really, truly, good & scary ones and maybe later I’ll torment myself with some  infamously gory films. We’ll see!
Have you seen any of the above? Lemme know what you think! 😋
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unicorns-bookshelf · 5 years
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Title: King of Scars
Author: Leigh Bardugo
Rating: 4/5
Beware! Spoilers to all of Grishaverse ahead!
I have to admit – I binged the whole Grisha Trilogy just so I could start reading King of Scars with a full picture. And I’m glad that I did because it made reading this book so much better. I was excited to see all the characters that accompanied Alina on her adventure. It was so refreshing to see them without being a background to her story and the relationships in the group were absolutely wholesome and made me so happy.
But off to the review we go!
King of Scars takes place three years after Alina defeated the Darkling and destroyed the Shadow Fold. Ravka, like always, is in a bad place financially and surrounded by neighbors who are ready to start a war. Not to mention the winged Shu soldiers who abduct Grisha to experiment on them with the use of parem. If that wasn’t enough bad news, Nikolai’s closest friends and guards need to make sure no one knows that the monster The Darkling had put into their king started acting up and now our favorite monarch spends his nights either sedated and in chains or relieving local farms of their livestock. 
Good time? In Ravka? Yeah, I don’t think so.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Fjerda, Nina along with two other soldiers of the Second Army is on an undercover mission to smuggle Grisha from the country to Ravka and also find a proper place to lay Matthias’ body to rest. Because we didn’t need our hearts anyway. 
I am sad to say that the one lacking star in the rating is for the plot. It was really amazing until half of the book, the political intrigue was shaping up nicely, there was the curious mystery of the miracles happening around Ravka and it was fascinating to watch how Alina’s and the Darkling’s legacy shaped up the country and what was the aftermath to the war. Zoya and Nikolai were on their way to get rid of the demon in his body and everything was shaping up so nicely. Things on Nina’s end were getting spicy too as she and her team worked to discover the mystery of a factory in a Fjerdan village and why was it poisoning the local river. At least in this end, the plot didn’t disappoint until the end.
But in Zoya’s and Nikolai’s POVs… The Saints happened. 
Oh boy. I can’t even express how random and confusing this subplot was. 
Let me get this straight - the Saints are important to the Ravkans. They’re a huge part of their beliefs and religion. Their martyrdoms and actions shaped the nation and sure, in The Grisha Trilogy we see Illya’s direct legacy have a huge part in the story, his actual descendants, the results of his experiments with merzost and it is hinted that maybe he’s even alive someone out there, kept young by his Grisha power but the whole point is that he’s not directly involved in the story. He doesn’t just appear out of nowhere in front of Alina being like “Hey girl, let me tell you about those sweet amplifiers I’ve been working on” and suddenly solving all her problems and giving her a super boost in power. He stays an element of Ravkan history and mythology, even if his past actions are crucial to the plot and behavior of certain characters. That’s what the Saints are and what they should stay. 
But no, apparently three of them picked by a random generator are locked in a pocket dimension on the fold and just chilling there until Nikolai and Zoya get somehow sucked in. Ones with the powers and knowledge that could obviously benefit the characters. It was just so… Unreal and random and we just got a half-assed explanation for it that sounds like a story made up in five minutes without any deeper consideration for the world’s lore and magic system. And I get that the Darkling’s experiment destroyed the world’s balance but this had absolutely nothing to do with anything the Darkling was trying to accomplish. It felt like something written by a completely different author with little knowledge of the source material. And if this were means to an end, I feel like it could have been accomplished in a much more plausible way.
I didn’t hate everything about the Saints subplot. I’m happy it gave us some background on how life as a Grisha was in the past, the origins of the name and some amplifier lore too. I love that Zoya got a power boost and I would love to see her change into the dragon in the second book because let’s be honest that would be absolutely awesome. I also hope that the second book will elaborate on the topic, making it more believable and incorporate it into the world’s lore in a logical way. Maybe even show more Saints so that those three wouldn’t feel like special snowflakes chosen just to achieve the ending and give the characters a power boost. I could really just roll with it if we get a more thought-out explanation in the future because as soon as they entered the Saints’ little realm I felt like I was reading about Zoya and Nikolai experiencing a mass hallucination. 
And that brings me to the ending. I know a lot of people hate it and honestly, I kind of share that sentiment. However, I must admit - it had me curious. The Darkling’s situation is completely different than it was in the Grisha Trilogy. I trust the author enough to give her a benefit of doubt in this case and see how she handles this situation in the next book. I’m curious about the Darklings interactions with other characters, as in TGT he was pretty much only focused on Alina. On one hand, I wanted a new villain or no villain at all, just a good political intrigue with some magic. On the other, I’m curious to watch the whole situation develop. 
Now it’s time to talk about the characters because they’re exactly what made this book enjoyable, even when the plot went south. 
I know most people came here for Nikolai and I have to admit that so did I. And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely wasn’t disappointed. We could finally see Nikolai outside of Alina’s POV and it was a feat. The prince seems a little more mature than in TGT but his sense of humor and charming attitude stays the same. We get to learn about his childhood, his insecurities, and concerns both regarding the monster that is inside him as well as ruling his country. His POV allows us to see him as a more wholesome character than in TGT as back then our opinion on him was influenced by Alina’s thoughts and narration. I was very happy to see more of him and I still love him to bits.
But it’s the girls that take the spotlight in this book.
When I read the Crooked Kingdom, I had a certain picture of Zoya which didn’t exactly line up with what I saw after reading The Grisha Trilogy. Of course, from the first book to the last, Zoya went thought some character development, growing out of her mean girl phase but all we’d known about it was that she lost her aunt when the Darkling used Alina to expand the Fold. King of Scars gives us an insight into her past, more information about her relationship with the Darkling and it’s all glorious and shes glorious and ruthless and I love how she’s not softened in any way as a part of some questionable character development. I want to see this girl turn into a dragon.
Nina’s POV made me love her even more than in Six of Crows. She’s still fabulous and ready to stir trouble wherever she goes. Her goodbye with Matthias was heartbreaking but I’m glad her whole storyline wasn’t based on moping after him. I loved that Matthias’ wolf was incorporated into the story and I hope we’ll see more of him. We also got a bigger display of Nina’s powers twisted by parem and I enjoyed it so much. Nina is always ready to help other girls and women and all I can say is… Icon. 
There was also a fourth POV introduced half into the book, one of a completely new character - a royal guard called Isaak. I did love him and he was shaping into a great character but the things happened and, well… We won’t be seeing any more of him and I was really looking forward to the part where he wouldn’t be playing Nikolai and we could see him as his own person. I feel like it was quite a waste but on the other hand, I didn’t grow to care enough to be bothered by it.
When it comes to relationships, both romantic subplots are a big yes in my book. When I started King of Scars I was very not on board with the whole Nikolai and Zoya thing but this book made me love it. Let’s just wish we don’t get some crappy love triangle in the second book. When it comes to Nina and Hanne, I was so excited to see Nin with a girl and Hanne is a great character who has a huge potential for development and the fact that she’s Brum’s daughter makes these dynamics even more interesting. Those two are going to conquer Fjerda together. 
Platonic relationships in the book are also delightful and heartwarming. I especially loved the Grisha Triumvirate and Nikolai acting like one big family and also Adrik being done with Nina starting drama in Fjerda and disobeying his orders like the Dreg she is and Leoni just applauding her? Absolute feast.
All in all, would I recommend King of Scars? Yes, I definitely would to all the Grishaverse fans and if you’re a new fan quickly go grab the Six of Crows duology and either The Grisha Trilogy or just a recap article on it since not everyone has enough nerves to go through books that have such annoying characters as Mal or Mal. Oh and also Mal. Sadly knowing at least basic stuff about the Grisha Trilogy is crucial for understanding this book so you can’t just avoid it like with Six of Crows. I’m eagerly awaiting the next book because I can’t wait to see where all of this goes.
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jennilah · 7 years
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im late to the party and while ive seen two or three videos in years past, for the last week or so ive been binging on watching the Monster Factory videos (in order of upload for Optimal in-joke understanding) for the first time
holy shit, these fuckin things are hilarious
i mean each one is seriously gut-busting, if anyone else wants to check them out [playlist here]
to paraphrase other people’s comments on their vids which perfectly encapsulate why they’re so damn funny: these guys have a really advanced wit, describing things with a vocabulary one can only dream of, with the comedic timing of a professional improv group. you can tell they have spent their whole lives making each other laugh, and their laughter is A+ contagious as fuck. their humor is surprisingly clean and almost wholesome, they love each of their creations, their “boys”, they are almost always positive when describing the beautiful monstrosities that they create. some crude humor once in a while of course, but no #Edgy humor in sight. I thought that the character creation portion would always be the funniest, but i find myself liking the part where they get into the actual game the most, because of the hilarious and unique backstories and roleplay they lovingly give each character.  It’s just so surprisingly feel-good, and yet each video nearly reduces me to tears with laughter.
10/10 Good Boys
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spaceragamuffin · 7 years
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Hunter x Hunter: The Best Anime I Should’ve Never Watched...
 As I began sliding into the recovery phase of having a tonsillectomy done in my twenties (a nice and constant stream of tunneling mashed potatoes into my stomach while my mouth makes the sounds of a sewage monster), I thought it would be a great time to catch up on some books and articles I've been meaning to read. As I finished stacking all of my books close by to me and pulled up all of the articles in separate tabs, I promptly said "fuck that noise" and did what any self-respecting procrastinator would do; started up my binge-watching service of choice (Shout out to Netflix for enabling me), and started up Hunter X Hunter.  I boot up episode 1 and a couple minutes later the end credits are rolling and.... wow that was surprisingly basic as hell. The internet has been telling me to watch this show for years, but somehow everything was played by like a generic anime simulator. Our main character, Gon, wants to become a Hunter, find his dad, and get stronger along the way, find friends, blah yadda blah, that's it. That's the entire first 3 episodes, Gon and friends being factory manufactured anime boys.  At this point, I was getting pretty confused. Had the sacred*, wise*, elderly*, and outspoken people of the internet lied to me? Was I actually just watching a regular anime that people had convinced themselves was great? Then this show, this fuckin show dares to have an entire 22-minute episode about walking fast in a straight line, and it's more entertaining than most animes' big budget episodes.  What separates HxH from your typical Shonen show, your Naruto Bleach Ball Z if you will, is that it understands what most people love about these shows, but the creators of them are beaten out of doing thanks to manga production schedules (something we'll hop back to later). We get time to love the characters, not their power levels. I've only watched the first season so far (26 episodes) and I don't recall a single fight which Gon won by being stronger than his opponent, in fact, he wins maybe half of his fights if that many. Gon is a character who works through empathy, talking and reasoning with his enemies to get to his point of view. Before the days of One Punch Man, this was how you deconstructed the shonen genre, not by showing a character who can win every fight easily, but by showing a character who doesn't want to fight much at all.  Gon never wants to fight anyone, he wants to ask them politely to let him continue down his adventures of being the purest, most innocent protagonist this side of the rising sun, and if you got a problem with that, you can go fall into a pile of broken glass and fucking rot watch One Piece or Fairy Tale or something.  I binge watched all of season 1 in about two days, and something struck me as odd, there was no filler. Sure there a couple of episodes recapping the season up until that point, but nothing that brings the pacing of the series to a grinding halt. Usually, a Shonen series is littered with filler (content that isn't in the manga/adds nothing to the plot), which is how you get episodes like Goku trying to get his drivers license, or every single episode after the series finale* of the original show (over 100 episodes of filler waiting for part 2 of the series to start).  If a show has no filler, that tends to mean that it's very short, but I had a gut feeling something was off, and that's when I found this.
Now, this is just a chart for the manga, but it harkens back to the same problem that Game of Thrones has run into with George RR Martin: Where do we go once we run out of pre-written content? In the case of Hunter x Hunter, it seems that they've made an ending specifically for the anime, but a lot of fans will never consider that the "true" ending. Animes frequently do their own endings for the series before the manga can catch up to them, but fans can almost always be sure that the manga itself is going to finish. With Hunter x Hunter, that may not be the case.
 Being a mangaka isn't an easy job, and if you're asking me personally, it's probably one of the most strenuous jobs on the planet. Some of the biggest mangaka
sleep less than 6 hours per day
.
Some mangaka seemingly love this schedule. If you're a masochist like the creator of
One Piece
, Eiichiro Oda and only take a break once every couple of years, that's fine, but this isn't exactly a work schedule that screams "humane."
 Togashi's
mind and body took a heavy toll
during the creation of
Yu Yu Hakusho
(his previous manga) thanks to the Shonen Jump work cycle. Every artist has their own struggles to complete, but ya know, I think Togashi reaching zero hit points may not be something I'm about, especially just for more chapters. Originally, I was going to write this article from a devil's advocate point of view, maybe argue something along the line of "It's bad to get invested in this show knowing I'll only get a real ending in 2027 if ever" and summon up justification for fans whining about their need for canonical closure (looking at you ASOIF fandom). Now that I've written all this out, it feels kinda unjustifiable. Although an author may make their livelihood off of their fans, they don't really owe us anything. It's their world and their time to spend in it, and if they don't want to spend it finishing a series that puts too much stress into their life, well thems the breaks. If we as fans feel we absolutely need an ending, maybe we should start our own series, who knows, we may actually finish them. 
So with all that said, I guess I should finish the title of this “Hunter X Hunter the best anime I should’ve never watched... if you demand manga endings...if you’re a butt....is a good clickbait title....” yep, looks good.
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