#i was bored so i decided to make yet another edit of my faves

[tripleyeeet]

IN SHADES OF BLUE

PAIRINGS: Jotun! Loki Laufeyson & Female Reader

SUMMARY: Loki reveals to you the parts of himself he hates the most. 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

WORD COUNT: 3,061

A/N: Another fic from my previous account! A little rough around the edges but still a fave of mine so I thought I’d give it a quick edit and repost. :)

MASTERLIST

-

“What’s your favourite colour?” he asks, plain and simple —trivial almost— so much so that it makes you scrunch up your face; lips and nose contorting into an expression of disapproval that makes his eyes roll.

Under the silken sheets, your body ruined under his touch as his fingers trail patterns over the bareness of your hips and thighs, you don’t fully get why he’s asking. You’ve only just met; hours before, in the corner of the bar. He approached you and you reciprocated his interest and the rest was just boring old history, so why does he care what colours make you happy?

“I don’t know,” you say, even though you have an answer. Everybody does regardless of what they tell themselves because colours have meanings —representations, you decide, sitting there, watching as he pulls away and positions himself on his back. 

Despite your better judgment, when he moves you immediately crave his touch and the way his skin seems to cool your own, prompting you to follow him wordlessly, placing your chin on his chest. “How about you?”

“What about me?” He raises his brow and looks towards you, a small smile absentmindedly creeping across his lips.

“What’s your favourite colour?” 

Whatever yours is, he thinks, because truthfully he doesn’t care anymore. After everything he lost interest in caring for things that made him happy, because feelings like that don’t last and neither does beauty, so why would he stop to think and choose a favourite colour?

He doesn’t have time for that.

“I don’t think I have one.” It’s a poor excuse for an answer, both of you know it, which is why when you deeply sigh against his chest, the air from your lips fanning across his skin, he can’t help but swallow hard and look away, feeling almost guilty.

Which doesn’t make sense, because you’ve just met. Your opinion is nothing in the grand scheme of things, yet something in his chest pulls him to feel hurt by your response.  

“Everybody has one.” 

“I’m not sure that’s true.” 

“No?” 

He shakes his head and moves his hand to your hair, running his fingers through it. It’s softer than anything he’s ever felt, like silk. “You don’t, apparently.” 

You bite back a smirk, angling your face away from his, knowing that this is his way of calling your bluff.  “I mean, maybe I do,” you admit, feeling the pads of his fingers make work of your roots, their strength digging into your scalp so effortlessly that without even thinking you give in to the pressure and close your eyes.

“Tell me then.”

You hum in response and focus on the weight of his fingers and how languidly they move through the base of your head, pulling forth a sudden sense of lucidness that makes you grin. “I think I like blue.” 

“Blue,” he practically scoffs, because of course you like blue —everybody likes blue. It’s the colour of the sky and the ocean and all the other things so universally good that even just the thought of it makes him want to crawl out of this bed and wash the entirety of his body. 

Because while blue is known to be a colour of beauty, for Loki it’s merely just another layer of suffocation —a draping of fabric pulled taught against his increasingly brittle frame. Like all his other insecurities, he’s forced to be blue all hours of the day, forever beneath his usual coating of flesh. On the outside, he’s pale and soft to the touch —easily approachable. People like him when he’s not blue, they respect him and take notice of the way he is rather than what he looks like and it’s something he never takes for granted. 

Because deep within the pool of his mind, he often thinks about the difference between the blue he hides and the washed-out, creamy tone he portrays. How would people truly treat him if he were to get rid of the veil? Would they run for their lives as they did on Asgard? Would they hate him and fear him; talking behind his back in hushed tones, or would they direct their repulsion toward his face? 

As much as he hates to admit it, every day he wonders about this. When he’s staring into the mirror with his eyes shining red, he wonders if anyone could ever truly love him like this —with texturized cobalt that’s so cold and untouchable, just like the real him.

He doesn’t think that they could. 

“Do you not like blue?” 

Your voice shifts his thought process, pulling him out of the preverbal depths of his insecurities. Awkwardly he smiles and takes notice of the curiosity in your eyes, visually tracing the way your eyebrows furrow at his lack of response.

“Because everybody likes blue, at least to some degree,” you say after he fails to speak, turning your head so that your ear rests against the centre of his sternum, making it easier for you to hear his rapidly-paced heart. 

“Sure, I suppose.” He shrugs lightly, his shoulders lifting and falling at the same time his previously appointed smile becomes engulfed in the usual scowl he lets loose whenever he’s frustrated or uncomfortable. 

“But not you?” 

He shakes his head, prompting you to narrow your eyes even further, the visibility of your pupils becoming limited as you purse your lips and explore his tells. 

Because despite popular belief, Loki —God of Mischief and Lies— has many tells. Like everyone else, he’s vulnerable to the truth and all its revealing glory, leaving him anxious and overly critical of both his thoughts and movements as you continue to stare, taking in all the details.

Your eyes, much like his, scan everything with an air of caution, slowly moving across his nervous face, causing him to swallow hard and force himself to remain calm because as much as he denies it, moments like these often leave him feeling insecure. 

“Were you afraid of the Smurfs as a kid or something?” Revealing a smiling set of teeth that makes everything within him instantly halt, he’s quickly left with this coating of confusion, because it’s not common for people to make fun of him so flippantly. Or at all really, which is why when it happens he can’t help but laugh —but shake his head before giving in to the desire to lean over and kiss your forehead, trailing cold, chaste kisses across the expanse of your face. 

“No, I’m not afraid of cartoon characters,” he says, and with him you laugh and look up, noticing the back-and-forth look of absence in his eyes. There’s something empty about them as if their blackness isn’t black, but more so bleak —almost empty. Loki’s eyes are sad and lonely and as you look at them, narrowing your own, you can see the bright blue iris shrouded in red; long, lines of crimson that branch out across the white.

“We should sleep,” you say, but Loki just shakes his head again, taking the moment passing to release a deep breath and give your hair a few final run-throughs, his fingers working delicately through the knots that have formed. 

“I want to tell you something, if I may.” 

You’re not sure what he means, but you know it’s important because of the quiet tone of his voice. It’s innocent sounding, small and frail and barely falling from his lips, and immediately it worries you. Sends you into a state of shock that forces you to pull yourself off his chest and reposition in front of him, legs crossed underneath you. 

“What is it?” Swallowing hard, you feel the slick build-up of your anxiety trickle down your throat as you watch his hand reach for your own, each finger taking refuge between the empty spaces as he clears his throat and begins to tell you everything.

Asgard, Midgard, and everything in between —Loki entrusts with you the story of his family and the horror of his upbringing. He tells you of Thor (yes that Thor) and Frigga —of Odin and his kingdom and that fateful day in Jotunheim where Loki was discovered alone in the snow. Cautiously he tells you about his betrayal —his plan to claim the throne and then later, his plan to die. Every detail slipping through his lips is like a reclamation —a perilous journey of memories he’s chosen to take you alongside him as he recounts the details of his mother’s love, his brother’s arrogance, and inevitably his father’s lies.

Loki tells you anything and everything, taking each story and weighing it in his hands before offering it over, hoping that despite the brokenness —his brokenness— that you’ll still find some worth in it. 

Because Loki would be lying if he said he didn’t think of himself as worthless. All his life, even without the constant horror of his underlying blue skin, he’s never felt valued, only valuable. To Odin, he was merely a pawn in the diplomatic affairs of Jotunheim and to Thanos, he was deemed the same for having the Tesseract.

Which fucking sucks, you think, as you watch him rip open his chest and fish out the traumatized organ with tears in his eyes, desperately waiting for you to take it.

So you do. Without question you take it and put it in your hands, watching it pulsate in the base of your palm; the tainted blood of his past dripping down your flesh, coating your skin like syrup. 

Happily, you want to lap it up —want to look him in the eyes and lick his wounds; swallow them up and bury them deep inside your gut so that he never has to look at them again. 

More than anything you want to shield him from the pain and the suffering —want to show him love and support and make it known that just because the past was full of hurt, the future doesn’t have to be as well. 

“Thank-you for telling me.” 

You know he doesn’t need to be thanked —doesn’t need to be praised for telling a stranger the holy terrors of his upbringing. Loki’s a God, the maker of his own destiny, which is evident in the way he perseveres despite the odds constantly working against him. He’s resilient in his efforts, a strong player in whoever’s story he’s managed to become tangled in, which is something you’re not sure he knows because, to you, it seems like he tethers himself to other people. Playing them like fools in his never-ending game of tricks and trades, hoping one day that they’ll figure out how to hate him. 

Because if he can just get them to hate him, perhaps he can be free. Free of the unknown —free of the constant wondering of whether or not he’s worthy of another person’s love. 

Of course, he is, you think, but considering the circumstances, you know he doesn’t know that. 

“I’m not sure why I did, if I’m honest,” he says, staring at your hands, suddenly wishing that he too could experience the normalities of fleshy tones woven over heated insides instead of the icy structures within his own. 

“Strangers are often the best people to tell things to.” 

Raising his brow, he hums in response, hoping that you’ll explain.  

“We’re not tainted with the idea of you; we’re unbiased.” 

“Were unbiased,” he corrects, another scowl crawling across his face, showing you that he knows you’ll think less of him now that he’s told you. 

Which isn’t necessarily true. If anything, it’s almost the opposite; because his telling you, even if the story is tailored to benefit his own viewing, is still a step in the right direction. A step towards healing —towards trust. Because at this moment, Loki trusts you with the weight of his life. He sees you as someone worthy of his truth and that in itself is something you know you can’t take for granted as you pull your hand away from his. 

“Have you ever shown anyone?” Propping yourself onto your knees, you move to straddle his frame, feeling the base of his cock immediately twitch against you. “Your Jotun form, I mean.” 

“Only a select few.”

“Other lovers?” You smirk.

Smirking back, he shakes his head and repositions himself, moving to sit upright against the headboard of your bed, taking your hips in his hands. “Lovers want to love, not to run away in fear.” 

There’s a pause then —a lengthy one filled with nothing, but breathing and touching, Loki’s hands digging into the base of your flesh, desperately kneading themselves into the plush of your sides. Instantly you’re drawn to the feeling, your mind already thinking of a thousand ways to subdue the aching that suddenly presents itself between your thighs as you instinctively press yourself further against him.

“I won’t be like the rest of them,” you find yourself saying, the absence of breath throughout your chest making it hard for you to speak above a whisper. “I won’t fear you.”

“Fear me,” he sarcastically scoffs in response, gripping you tighter, almost as if the very thought of fear ignites something within him —something aggressive and primal. “It’s not the colour of my skin that makes them fear me, darling.” 

After that he slowly blinks, the colour of his eyes flickering from the lightest of blues to the deepest of reds, an image that makes you weak as you reach out to touch his face, realizing that his skin feels colder than before; rigid and rough, the presence of markings becoming visible across his forehead and cheekbones.

Purely out of habit you pull your hand away and narrow your eyes, inspecting the facial structures that continue to form, raising themselves higher off his skin at the same time his flesh begins to darken. All across him wild splotches of blue become present, their positions resembling freshly wet pavement on a rainy day. 

“You look…” Inhaling and exhaling before you can even finish, you quickly find yourself reaching across the empty space, prompting Loki to follow through soundlessly until your lips eventually meet in a frenzy of movements that leave you pulling at each other’s flesh. 

Groaning, Loki reaches for your hair and grips it as his lips messily glide from your mouth to your cheek, then to your chin, eventually ending at the side of your neck where he latches on. As he does you let out a soft moan, your lips widely parting at the feeling of his tongue pressing down against your flesh in between swift bites that leave your skin blooming with bruises. “I could ruin you, you know,” he whispers against them, the formation of his words across your wounds sending you over the edge as you feel him work to lift you onto his cock, holding you steadily against the head.

“Is that a promise or a threat?” 

Before you receive an answer he’s entering you with everything he has, his hardened flesh pushing through your heat in a chorus of throaty gasps as he rocks back and forth, feeling your weight shift as you lean backwards and reach for his thighs. 

Steadying yourself, you grip the tops of them with greedy hands, thumbing the patterns of newly unveiled blue as he repeats his movements, bucking into your wet cunt with a new kind of force that leaves you shaking and grinning because god he’s just so beautiful. 

His body, drenched in lapis, looking like the ocean itself, is stunning and radiant, ebbing and flowing against your Midgardian complexion as you lean forward and envelope his lips again, showing him that he’s worthy. 

He’s worthy and you’re willing and as he pistons into you, your inner walls aching for that last final snap of the band, you can’t help but tell him. Over and over with each passing wave of pleasure, you speak to him in praises, telling him repeatedly how amazing he is and how good he feels and how after everything he’s been through he deserves to feel loved. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Loki,” you tell him, even though you’d much prefer to tattoo it into his skin in shades of navy; a reminder that despite the green he often drapes himself in, blue is truly his colour. 

Opening his mouth to respond, he’s quickly met with your lips again, his words becoming lost behind your teeth and tongue as you swallow his pride and hate and everything that's ever needed to be pulled out of his system. Like a leech, you rip from him the worst parts of his being; the outward flesh that covers his Jotun form that’s been mistreated and left to suffer; the vile words of his father all those years ago; the abuse he experienced under the hands of Thanos. 

And with each new breath, Loki begins to better understand these efforts. Slowly but surely, his mind, once clouded with thoughts of angst and regret, begins to fill with something new entirely —something soft and warm that makes his stomach twist into knots as he fills you up further and further, the sounds of your wanton moans shrouding him in bliss.

At this moment, Loki’s engulfed in ecstasy. He’s elated and delighted; covered in a sense of euphoria he’s never felt before. Hopelessly, he wants to laugh and cry and scream —to take you as you are just as he is he, coated in blue like sapphires and the sky and little robin’s eggs in the spring.

Because right now he’s your favourite colour and he knows it. He knows it because everything to you that’s beautiful is blue and no longer is he the exception. In fact, Loki’s the rule now; an ever-present reminder of just how glorious your favourite colour can appear through the naked eye as it fucks into you, pushing you over the edge until you’re panting and gripping, and asking him to ruin you over and over again. 

He wants to ruin you forever if he can —if it feels like this— because the high he gets from being with you is intoxicating. It’s everything he never dreamed of and as he feels those final twitches press against your insides, he knows it’s all he’ll ever dream of now.

In shades of blue, he’ll dream of only you.  

-

TAGLIST: @lovelysizzlingbluebird​ (if you would like to be added to any of my taglists, fill out this form)

#in shades of blue #loki laufeyson fan fic #loki fan fic #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x you #loki laufeyson smut #loki x reader #loki x you #loki smut #jotun loki x reader #jotun loki x you #jotun loki #jotun loki smut #summer writes

[gwyns]

A COURT OF SILVER FLAMES

the valkyries.

#acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames spoilers #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acosf #a court of silver flames #nesta archeron #emerie #gwyneth berdara #i was bored so i decided to make yet another edit of my faves #*mine #*edits

[rataltouille]

HOUSE PLANTS, UPDATE 7

[novel intro can be found here]

HEY ACTUALLY I FINISHED THIS BOOK!

i don't want to get too sentimental [watch me proceed to get sentimental] but this book means a lot to me and i really could NOT have done it without the support of the wonderful folks on writeblr. the writing community is kind of the reason i even started this novel so it means a lot to me that i’ve met so many of y’all here. this is my first ever novel and i’m so glad i was able to make it so far! here are the final stats:

TOTAL WORD COUNT: 81,049 words.

STARTED: april 17, 2020

FINISHED: january 28, 2021

AVERAGE CHAPTERWISE WC: 3242

NUMBER OF CHAPTERS: 25

NUMBER OF TIMES LILITH SNAPS: 2

NUMBER OF TIMES LILITH SUFFERS: you know it’s too much to count.

the last month of writing this novel was so mixed. like before i hit the 70k mark i’d just been slogging through the novel, feeling uninspired and bored of the story. and then january hit and i was like. wait a minute. my deadline to finish it was the 31st of january. and so i basically startled myself into drafting again and then hit another wc milestone and that motivated me?? so much??? like i remember that drafting the penultimate chapter took me a pretty long time but it was so enjoyable because i was genuinely liking what i was writing and that hadn't been happening for the past few months. and then i wrote the entirety of the last chapter [it’s a vignette so it’s pretty short] for an hour until 1 am in my bed with the lights off and boom. it was such an experience. what makes it even more fun is that i’d drafted 75% of the book in my bed with the lights off at 1 am so this was such a nice full circle moment.

i’m also a little insane from all that lack of sleep but it’s okay we don't talk about that.

excerpts:

chapter twenty-one

this one’s a mix of the weirdest and most broad emotions. there’s a funeral in town, willow’s acting shadier than usual, lilith and juniper finally kiss, etc. etc. literally a rollercoaster. also it’s important that you guys know they kissed in a graveyard. nothing’s more romantic than that amirite.

Residual— that’s how we all felt. Just shells that wash away right before they touch land. We lingered like sleep at dawn, like medicine rimming the lip of cough syrup bottles, like fingerprints on fresh glass. There wasn't a permanence in the way we persisted, because eventually, one leaves their nest. They untether from the source in pursuit of the world. How would a dead girl do that? She won’t reside on the fringes of life like a bad dream.

god this prose is so depressing. even i’m getting sad over it and i’m literally an emotionless husk of a person. hey but the description slaps so enjoy.

also if you’ve noticed i’ve been sharing excerpts less and less in the updates despite the chapters being longer on length [these chapters average at like. 5k words] and that’s because i’m finding it harder to share stuff that doesn’t need context / isn't spoilery.

chapter twenty-two

ah yes the angstiest chapter, probably. something happens to willow that lilith blames herself for and this kicks off the final cluster of events that lead to the climax. i love this chapter because lilith gets angry [but at the wrong person aka herself] and we get to see this side of her she always tries to hide!! another thing that happens is that her garden withers so that’s a fun trip

My garden could have been a fallen kingdom. The ferns were rotting from under the flap, their spores gone. Gardenia blooms had split with their petals discarded like an evening gown all around the pots. The mint had binary fissioned and lay in shreds, the jasmine wilted and spread. All of them like war dolls, casualties of my ignorance, beyond saving.

poor garden :/

chapter twenty-three

this chapter. exists i guess. ISDNJSDUH i sound so disillusioned but essentially this chapter was supposed to end on a the ✨big reveal✨ that the book has been leading up to but then something. happened. and i had to move that into the next chapter and so nothing actually happens in this one! like it’s all important things and we’re setting up tension but overall it’s the least eventful of the final story arc.

We stepped together into our house; it had been abandoned for a day but was the exact same. Dust hadn't suddenly piled up in the threshold, sticking to our soles. The air hadn't musted over in the house’s grieving for its sole occupants. The bathtub was still filled. The water skimmed the floor, and I’d decided. I’d stay with you for the whole week, the fortnight, the month, the year. I’d stay inside with you, because me leaving the house, me choosing to spend any second of my life without caring for you, was a mistake. I’d always seen you as fragile, quiet like moth wings and just as delicate. Maybe I’d needed to feel I was protector just as much as I thought you needed me.

i really like this excerpt because it’s very simple and light in terms of prose but also the implications and that purposeful telling at the end really stick with me. exposing lilith since 2k20.

As morning rose the next day, like a curtain lifting, the sun picked itself up from the horizon, shattering cloudlines in a bright, orange glow. The skies got clearer by the hour as summer sauntered in again. Already the habits of my grounding were kicking in; my circadian rhythm bounded to my outside, too, as I instinctively scheduled and compartmentalized my daily life. First, wake up, check on you. Finish chores while making sure you’re alright. School, eaten with worry, but you're capable and you’ll call if you need help. Home, count your pulse as you inevitably slumped in plush sleep— at the coffee table, at the bathtub, in Aunt Hailey’s chair (rare), in your bedroom (rarer). You’d wake for dinner and read until the lights begin to dim and your eyesight tripped. You’d doze off for the rest of the night. Your internal clock was more functional, more efficient, than mine.

obligatory rhythmic everyday life excerpt that's reminiscent of 2020.

chapter twenty-four

THE PENULTIMATE CHAPTER! THE LONGEST CHAPTER!! THE ONE WHERE SHIT GOES DOWN!!! [can you tell it’s my fave chapter]

this took me two whole weeks to draft [it’s around 7.2k words] but it was so enjoyable the whole time!! there’s something so satisfying about making the quiet character, the one who never express anger, finally snap. so satisfying. lilith is actually pretty feral in this and we all stan. it also has a lot of simpler yet more sharp prose? if you know me you know that repetition is literally my favourite device ever. i overuse repetition it’s actually insane. and this one has a lot of that, but in a way that isn't annoying, and i really enjoyed writing it!!

I’d never been in your bathtub before. You haunted the room and it was always yours; I didn’t consider running the tap for myself. Maybe your going out prompted me this time. The water was so high it sloshed over the lip of the tub. The floor was slick like eels’ skin. My skin was blue with cold; the chill gummed my cheeks and ears and I shivered. My reflection stared at me in hatred, the features warped and pulled like taffy. I half-floated, a ghost in liminal space, and the walls were choked with water lines and flower patterns. With my body invaded by alien frost, with the ceiling low and cruel and ready to crush, I cowered. How did you do this every day? Did the clothes make the difference?

lilith’s going through it again ft. willow’s bathtub.

after this it’s a lot of incredibly spoilery stuff!! like the prose slaps but it’s too many spoilers to share. but have another description of the heaviness of midnight because i’m obsessed with that aesthetic

The lock clicked behind me. Silence descended like birdsong and I was paralysed, stuck at the two half-stairs that led to the outer path, stuck at the threshold of no return. My body shook. All around me was nighttime, gooey and heavy. I was unfurling, like a rose, step after step, pushing past the gate and onto the road. The wind was so cold it frosted my tears.

btw the chapter does not end on lilith crying she kind of has a girlboss moment and snaps massively [i mean after all she’s been through she deserves it] and then the main story aka the fictive past ends.

chapter twenty-five

the final chapter, which also happens to be a vignette chapter and is thus set in the fictive present! it’s very short and is only one tiny scene but it really ends on the perfect tonal quality for the novel. i can't share any excerpts because it really is very short so! have this iconic screenshot i took as soon as i finished the draft instead:

[also if you were wondering yes i did type the entire novel [and basically everything i write] on my ipad because i don't own a laptop]

and that really is it! this was such an incredible journey and i’m so excited to share more of my newer writing and upcoming projects with y’all. it feels so weird that this really is the last time i’ll be making official posts about this novel. truly the end of an era.

house plants taglist: @discreet-writer @mp-golfin @jaydewritesfiction @writer-in-monochrome @magnus-s-writes @firesidefantasy @sugarlessbubblegum @theoldcity @n1ghth4wkz @remi-writes-sometimes @suninks @dreamybellatrixanvm @camusbf @fablemancy @isherwoodj @svpphicwrites @spillme @sunwornpages @bijouxs @asadlitficwriter @bookphobe @sirius-xthem @carlyiswriting @hekat-ie

general taglist: @lovingyou-is @haldimilks @andiwriteunderthemoon @coffeeandcalligraphy @shaelinwrites @tuoyu @charles-joseph-writes @eklavvya @wolf-oak @bitterwitchwrites @laughtracksonata @whatwordsdidnttouch @indeliblewrites @thenataliawrites @illimani-gibberish @sienna-writes @jennawritesstories @chloeswords @aelenko @keira-is-writing @cherylinanika @infinitely-empty-pages @jmtwrites @august-iswriting @sarahkelsiwrites @freedelusionbanana

tumblr is being. really really annoying and wont let me edit on the browser so i’ve got the 50 mentions per post mobile thing to deal with. the rest of the taglist will be tagged in a reblog!

#writeblr #am writing #crabappletracking #wtwcommunity #atlastracking #ofcolourtracking #house plants #house plants update #everybody say “goodbye house plants” as i yeet willow off a good somewhere #just ignore how i’ve actually finished the book and this update is a month late please and thank you <3

[cosmiclatte28]

hi. can i request a scenario where you have a crush on jeno and you're jaemin's brother? thank you. <3 i love your works.

Hello anon! Thanks for requesting... so I'm not sure if you meant Jaemin's brother or Jaemin is your brother.. so I made the gender neutral here. You can either be his sister or his brother!

I hope this is good enough and if you want me to fix anything.. tell me I can change or make a new one for you like what you want. This is angst so let me know if you want me to change this into another genre

A/n : gender neutral reader x jeno. Jaemin is your brother! Plus this is angst 🙏

Enjoy!

Like the moon longing for the Earth, you also long for a caring subtle boyfriend.

Lee Jeno and you, like December and January a moment away yet a lifetime apart.

“(Y/n)! Change to a proper clothes, Jeno is coming for movies tonight.” Your brother screams at you first thing first on a Friday morning.

You're about to groan but upon hearing that special name you scramble up from your bed and quickly check your phone

“Lunch or dinner?” You yell back at your brother, Jaemin

“Duhh it’s the regular Friday movie night. You have the whole day to do your homework still.” Jaemin says before leaving your room to play his game.

You got up from your bed, tidy it up who knows Jeno will be sleeping on your bed tonight? Better be prepared right?

To make Jaemin and Jeno proud, you hurriedly finish your homework and prepare for your Monday classes. You're super excited! Why? Well Jeno has a certain charm that always makes you jumpy but at the same time calm. You find peace in him and you're super comfortable whenever he is around

After a refreshing shower you dress yourself up in a comfortable sweat and jogger. Your smile is already on your face and you jog down the stair only to find Jaemin's annoying face popping up on your nose.

“What?” you roll your eyes knowing he'll ask you a favor with that look.

He wraps his arm around your shoulder “My fave baby can you please be very kind and order us pizza?”

“I am not in the mood for pizza,” you groan come on you've had one last week

Jaemin sighs and attempts his dramatic aegyo “But you know Jeno loves it so much.”

You sigh and hand out your palm. Did Jaemin just use your weakness? He seems to know you're always weak for the man with sweet eye smile. The freakin Lee Jeno who is your brother's best friend. Who sees you since you’re in diaper. Who taught you how to climb a tree, ride a bike, throw a ball to Jaemin, and crazy stuff like how to fix a tire.

It was crazy fun whenever Jeno is around. Your brother, Jaemin is super boring. He is not so active. Jaemin prefers to stay in his dark room rather than talking or playing with you. He'd rather play with his computer and edit pics from his camera. And because no one else come to the house as frequent as Jeno, Jeno’s presence and attention are always your runaway place.

What was first a simple sense of belonging and being accepted in their friendship bond slowly turns into admiration and finally love?

Is this love? Is this okay? Am I allowed to fall in love with my brother's bestfriend? Will things end their tight bonds when bad things happen?

You don’t know and you don’t really want to know or find out why. You believe if fate wants you to be together with Jeno, you will be with him.

After finishing your train of thoughts, your pizza is done and you walk back home with butterflies in your stomach. What should you greet him with?

Afternoon Jeno! No. Too cheerful

Hey what's up? Umm could work

Jeno!!! Oh not this

You couldn’t decide and want to think of something else but your steps already bring you to the back door and you quietly creep into the room.

Before you can open your mouth, you overheard Jeno and Jaemin talking in the kitchen

“How is your blind date?” Jaemin asks Jeno

You freeze in track and though you know to never eavesdrop, you always do it.

“Oh it’s quite interesting. We are planning to watch a movie together next week!” Jeno sounds happy as he stirs his cup of cold tea

“Nice! I'm glad you're starting to find someone to take care of.” Jaemin chuckles

“How is (y/n)?” Jeno asks your brother and you perk your ears up feeling happy Jeno remembers you.

“(Y/n) should probably hang out with their squad more.” Jaemin sighs “I kinda feel they need to interact more with their friends. I am okay they hang out with us, but sometimes I am afraid they're excluded from their friends.” Jaemin sits down on one of the chair.

You frown. You've never hung out with your friends because you don’t click with their jokes. You don’t like their band and they don’t like yours. You don’t like their judging stares and comments, but with Jeno and Jaemin you just feel like you belong there. What is wrong with that?

“I mean I really tried to make her hang out less with us. “ Jaemin whispers “But I don’t know how.”

Jeno pats his back “Give them time, I mean I like hanging out with your little baby.” Jeno teases Jaemin with that, well Jaemin always calls you his annoying little baby mostly because he used to babysit you.

Jaemin laughs “Okay okay cut this off, if they heard this I'm sure they'll cry. (Y/n) likes you so much after all. If they can choose, I am sure they'll pick you.”

You stay still and hide behind the walls. So does your brother doesn’t like you hanging out with them? Also all of those attentions Jeno gave to you was solely a platonic friendship thing?

The world around you feels like falling down and you can’t feel your legs. You want to burst and ask to Jeno's face if all the cute little things and doting attention he gave to you was solely because you are Jaemin's little baby and he doesn’t do that because he likes you too?

“hey where's (y/n) by the way?” Jeno suddenly questions your where being

Quickly you walk to the door and wipe a single tear that fell. It hurts but reality sucks right? You're always Jaemin's little baby and Jeno keeps on looking at you like you are also his little baby to take care of.

“They're supposed to be here, try to call them”

Your phone rings and you quickly pick it up

“Hello there Jaemin's little baby and my fave dongsaeng! Where are you?” Jeno's sweet cheerful greeting burns into your heart and memories. You painfully hide your sadness and fake a smile “On the front door! Help me please.”

He opens the door for you and takes your pizza from your hand. “How's your day?” he greets you without a hug without a touchy touchy contact like what he used to do when you were younger.

Maybe he respected you as being a grown up now or maybe he really is trying to make a commitment to someone.

You mentally make a note that maybe you really stand no chance to be his lover.

“Great! What about yours?” you ask him back with your big smile.

He bought your lie “I am also happy and excited to see you and your bro tonight! Come on you got to choose the film.”

You grin “Yay! Let's watch something scary!”

Jeno chuckles “Okay just don’t cry if you got too scared!”

end

Fixed some pronoun slipped sorry!

#lee jeno x you #lee jeno x reader #jeno x y/n #jeno x you #jeno x reader #jeno x male reader #jeno angst #lee jeno soft hours #lee jeno scenarios #jeno scenarios #jeno oneshot #lee jeno imagines #jeno imagines #jeno fanfic #jeno #lee jeno #na jaemin x you #jaemin x y/n

[kimnjss]

get even | ksj

⤑  series: sugar free

⤑ genre: angst, rich!jin x artist!reader, college au.

⤑ rating: explicit

⤑ word count: 4.4K

⤑ warnings: humilation (it’s not a kink here tho), suggestive topics, nudity... (this lowkey pretty tame, ngl).

⤑ A/N: a little late, but i literally just finished this and did like a half ass job editing it, buuut i really wanted to get this out bc OHMYGOD (you’ll see) - don’t forget to let me know what you think, your feedback is my favorite! x

A bet. The second the words left Yuna's lips you felt your blood begin to boil. Was that what all of this was? Why Jin had been so persistent to be around you, to get you to like him... so he could win a measly 100 bucks from his friends. That was it?

 You felt sick to the stomach, on the verge of screaming at the top of your lung. How could you allow yourself to be so stupid? To not be able to see past the cheap facade, protect yourself like you had done countless times before. To think you were slowly starting to melt, starting to see yourself becoming comfortable around him. Smiling a bit too wide when texting him into the late hours of the night, moving a little too fast when his name was lighting up your screen.

 He had been playing you for a fool this entire time and the only thing you could think of was how could you get even. At this point, he had no idea that you were on to him. Still thought that everything was going according to his plan, boy was he wrong. You were going to get him back, flip the tables so he was the one left licking his wounds. Who the hell did he think he was?

 The idea came to you a few hours after hanging up with Yuna. The anger that had blinded you earlier finally subsiding enough for you to properly check the messages that had been flooding your inbox in the time since. Most of which were from the group chat of your best friends. Making a mental note to tell Yoongi about his role in this bet as well, you immediately clicked on the latest message from Jin.

[15:59] seokjin: did you pick a movie for tonight, yet?? i saw something you might like.

 Instantly you're scoffing at the reminder that you were supposed to be out with this man in a little over an hour. You had actually been looking forward to this date, a more relaxed setting where you two could truly be yourselves around each other. The hell with that now. 

 Quickly, you were typing back your response. Ignoring the fact that it was coming in three hours too late. He could wait. If he felt like he could use you as a ploy in this stupid game with his friends. Then he could wait a few hours for your reply.

[18:12] to seokjin: oooh, surprise me then! im getting ready right now, see you in a bit?

 Rolling your eyes at your overly enthusiastic you're standing from your position on your bed, moving to your dresser to pick something to wear tonight.

 When you were in your early teens and just getting to know Namjoon and his friends, not a day would go by without an argument between you and Jungkook to take place. He always felt the need to try and one-up you, always had an opinion on what you were saying, and never believed you were as smart as him.

 The fact you got into your shared middle school solely on recommendation had nothing to do with his thought conclusion. Anyway, something that young Jungkook found extremely amusing was pranking. Loved the thought of tricking someone to the point of them getting upset only for him to shout: 'Relax, it's just a prank.' It was his favorite pass time, especially when you were involved.

 Quickly, you were picking up on his tactics and soon enough you were able to counter all of his 'well thought out' deceptions in a way he was the one with the egg on his face in the end. Fast forward years later, you and Jungkook hardly argued as much and he found more interested in girls than pranks... but that didn't mean you forgot how to play along.

 The forced learned deception would be applied tonight. How dare that boy think he could pull a fast one on you and get off scratch free? Yeah, right. There was going to be hell to pay. And you were going to make sure of it.

 Despite the fact, this was only a movie date and you could pretty much dress down when sitting in a dark room for hours, what you wore held a big part of your plan for tonight. Of course, you didn't want to make it obvious that your goal was to turn heads. Something subtle but undeniably sexy that his jaw was dropping at the first sight of you.

 It had been a while since you wore your bright red mini skirt and it fit tighter than you remembered. Deciding the tightness fit the theme of tonight, you're tucking your long sleeve black turtleneck into the skirt; admiring the way the form-fitting material highlights the natural curves of your body. 

 A large heart belt to give your waist that extra snatch and short black boots to tie it all together. Yeah, this guy is not going to know what hit him once he caught sight of you – you were sure of that much.

 Makeup had never really been something that you cared a whole lot for. Loved the way a bare face felt as opposed to being caked up for hours. Tonight was an exception though, you had to play the part, right?

 One short, way too detailed YouTube tutorial later, and you're being interrupted by the knock on your front door. With a final swipe of lip gloss onto your softened lips, you're moving from the mirror to answer the door.

 “Oh! Are you early or am I running late?” Jin stands on the other door, a large hoodie covering his slender figure and black jeans clinging to his legs. He eyes you shamelessly, seeming to have missed the words that had just left your lips. Bingo! “Here come in, I'm almost done,” You're turning, leading him into your house acting as if you hadn't noticed the way his eyes dropped when he thought your back was too him.

 Too freaking easy. Guys were too easy, it was sad.

 Just for good measure, you lead him to your couch; delicate fingers wrapped around his wrist. You're gesturing him to sit with a gentle tug of his wrist and his body moves accordingly, eyes never once lifting from you.

 “I'll just be another minute,” You promise, watching as he pushes a smile on his face before nodding. You make your way down the corridor and into your bedroom, honestly finished with getting ready but not against making the boy sweat for a little bit.

 Ten full minutes pass by of you just sat on your bed, scrolling through your phone before you're deciding that it was time to go. Jin stands as soon as you're exiting the room, composure back in check – that familiar smug look settled on his features once again. He spares you only a single glance as if he hadn't been full-on drooling when you first had opened the door.

 “You ready?” His voice sounds deeper than you remember and you can't help but wonder if he was forcing it in hopes to impress you. Not caring much to mull over the question, you're nodding your head. The heels of your boots clack against the hardwood floor as you move to meet his side.

 Jin thoughtlessly slides his arm around your waist, a simple gesture that pulls an annoying reaction from you. He leads you out of the front door, waiting patiently on the steps as you lock up.

 “No, Minho?” You're asking, noticing the absence of the shiny SUV parked on the curb. Jin is shaking his head, digging into his front pockets for something you can only assume is a key due to the metallic jingle filling your ears. “Gave him the night off... it's just me and you,” He grins and you smile back, of course, your master plan in mind and in no way a natural reaction to the sight of his contagious smile.

 He's pulling a silver key from his pocket, clicking the remote and you nearly jump at the sound of the beep. Bright lights illuminating the headlights of the sport's car parked just a few feet from your building. “Is that your car!?” Wondering out loud and neglecting to check the excitement in your tone.

 Jin watches with a knowing grin as you make your way over to the vehicle, cautious palms sliding over the fresh paint. You couldn't believe what you were staring at. A 2019 Alfa Romeo Giulia in the shade midnight black; an all-red leather interior... were you going to be sitting in that? This was what he was going to be taking you to the movies in?

 “It's nice, right? Got it for my birthday last year... a little bored of it now, though.” You hear the cocky tone of his voice, the 'I'm-so-much-richer-than-you' twang that has your blood boiling. With a roll of your eyes, hands now stiff and dropping to your side you step back.

 “It's alright,” You say with a shrug, pulling the passenger's side door open and sliding in before he even has the chance to reach for it. No point in keeping up with his fake gentlemen facade, you could very well open your own doors.

 Despite your slight shift in mood, Jin is still smiling. Not thinking twice about you not letting him open up the door you and sliding in on his side. Instantly, he's pulling his seat belt on; twisting the key in the ignition and you melt at the hum of the engine coming to life.

 “What's the movie you picked?” You're asking as a few moments of silence passed, the only sound that had filled the car in the past eight minutes was the radio that he liked to keep on low for some reason. 

 His gaze is shooting in your direction, eyes wide as if he hadn't expected to hear your voice just then. You offer up a gentle smile, blinking your eyes cutely up at him as you wait for his response. Jin's adam's apple bobs as he turns his attention back onto the road.

 “It. Have you already gone? It came out a few weeks ago,”

 You're shaking your head, ignoring the fact that if you had been the one to choose the movie for tonight – that would have been your choice. Even if you had already seen it, horror films were at the top of your list of faves... which was weird, because you had it on pretty good standing that Jin wasn't into scary movies.

 Either way, it wasn't like you planned on having him pay all that much attention to the movie in the first place.

 As expected, Jin paid for both your ticket and his. He purchased a large bucket of popcorn for the two of you to share and a couple of drinks to counter to salty effects of the treat. What a shame he was actually a douche bag, otherwise you would've swooned at his catering.

 Seats smartly chosen in the back row, where you could see the entire movie screen clearly but avoid being spotted by the other moviegoers. With the risk of being obvious, you lifted the armrest that divided your two seats long before the movie had started. Forty minutes in and several popcorn jerking jumps after, you were taking advantage of your early decision.

 “It's a bit cold in here, don't you think?” You spoke with a pout, eyes lifting to grasp his attention. He was staring at you, head shaking in a nod and you could tell he was searching his mind for ways to make you more comfortable. How sweet. “Should we sit a bit closer?” Voice laced with velvet, you're already scooting over the gap before he can disagree.

 Not like he planned to, the moment Jin's realizing what's going on; he's moving to close any left space between you two. His arm lifting to wrap around your shoulders as he tucks your body into his side. The movement so fluid and natural that you can't help but wonder how many times he's pulled the same move – no prompting needed.

 A few moments passed with your body cradled in his arms, his warmth surrounding you, and the strong scent of his cologne intoxicating you. You had noticed this the first time the two of you went out, Jin was well put together in his clothes and he always smelt so good. Not sure what it was, but the way that he smelt never failed to make your stomach flip.

 But it wasn't the time for that. Right now, it was time to put your perfect revenge plan into action. Delicately, the tips of his fingers ran over the swell of his chest, admiring the way the muscle felt underneath your digits. Dropping your hand lower, you spread your palm against his abs. 

 He had been so invested in the movie during your initial contact, that he hadn't noticed the feeling of your fingers on his chest... or chose not to acknowledge it. Now that you were tracing the ridges of his abs, his eyes were on you, slightly wide as he tried to figure exactly what you were playing at.

 You shot him an innocent smile, the tip of your index finger running over the curve of his bellybutton. Flinching at the contact, he blinked hard; breath caught in his throat as he waited. “I never knew you were so... strong,” Voice coming out in a purr, the tip of your finger trailing up the middle of his stomach. 

 Jin visibly gulped, confusion dancing over his brow as he shifted beside you. Not sure how to react to your sudden shift in behavior. You didn't care to slow down, to explain it to him – this was what he wanted, right?

 “I'm finding it so hard to pay attention to the movie,” Scooting closer to him, your hand drops down onto his thigh. Giving the muscle a light squeeze as you lean your body up, lips inches from his pink ears. “Do you want to know why?” You whispered, lips gently brushing over his lobe.

 “W-why?” He cleared his throat, fidgeting in his seat; trying to avoid looking in your direction. If he was to turn his head, your lips would be mere inches apart. Just a simple twitch forward and you'd be kissing. No way he'd be able to keep his cool if that were to happen, so he kept his gaze forward. Not risking it.

 Fine with you, you weren't done playing. Thumb rubbing circles into the fabric of his pants, mouth closing around his earlobe. You felt him shudder, making a smirk rise on your lips. “I can't stop thinking about you... all the things we could be doing instead of being cooped up in here...”

 Jin was no fool, not the one to waste any time. If you were acting like this, saying that you were down there was no way he was going to pass up an opportunity like this. He'd just catch the movie when it came out on Netflix. “Should we go then?” He's mustering up all the courage he can manage to turn his head, dark eyes finding yours in the dim-lit room. 

 A bit surprised with his quick agreement, you're not letting it show on your face. You're grinning at his words, standing from your seat, and taking hold of his hand. Jin allows you to pull him up from his seated position, his hand landing on your hip. “Wait, slow down.” He's whispering, being considerate to the people scattered you.

 “You sure?” Head nodding before you had a chance to mull over his thought process in checking up at you. Reaching for his free hand, you're wiggling out of his grasp and tugging him behind you out of the theater.

 Both of you moving so fast, laughter slipping past his lips at your haste and you can't help but join in. You can feel the gaze of the people around you, but you don't care. Don't even bother to present an apology too wrapped up in enjoying yourself and trying to push away the warmth rising in your chest. Now wasn't the time for that.

 Jin's stopping you the second the cool night air is hitting your exposed skin. His hand twisting in your grasp until he's able to take hold of your hand. Easily, he's pulling your body into his and flashing you that heart-stopping smile of his. Chests pressed together, breaths mixing and you hadn't realized you had been breathing so heavily before.

 Your heart hammers against your chest as you stare up at him, his eyes searching yours. He's slow with the way he closes the negative space between the two of you, his hands lifting to cup your cheeks. And he's leaning in, lips finding yours... the smile breaking onto your lips before you have the chance to fight it.

 He's kissing you so slowly and delicately as if you were made of glass. Hands cool against your heated cheeks and you can feel his smile over your mouth. It was all becoming too much, your heart getting too involved over a stupid kiss... this was not part of the plan!

 You're pulling away at the feeling of his thumbs brushing against your cheeks, looking up at him with your lip caught between your teeth; trying to look as sexy as possible in this situation. “Come on, we'll have much more fun once we're alone...” Discreet in the way you gesture to the family of five that were making their way into the theater.

 Jin's following you without a word, the grin never falling from his plump lips. He's leading you this time, quick steps are taken to his car where he opens your door for you. You get comfortable against the seats, watching as he jogs around to the other side to slide in beside you.

 All giddy and smiley, excited that he was about to get some. That he was about to win this stupid bet he and his friends thought would be a good idea... boy, he had no idea what was coming.

 Thick laughter leaves your lips as you stumble into your bedroom with tangled feet. Jin's lips haven't left your skin since you were pushing your front door shut, fingers gripping at your hips, eagerly drumming at the exposed skin. He's turning your body to gently push you back against the door, lips dropping to capture yours.

 “Don't think... I'll... get tired, of kissing you,” He breaths out deeply, sentence carelessly strewn together his sole focus was the way he was moving his tongue in your mouth. And a skillful tongue it was, too bad this couldn't go all that far – you'd love to know how that tongue in other places...

 You're kissing him back with just as much fervor, hands sliding down the front of his shirt until you can grip the hem of the shirt. Slowly you drag it up, inch by inch revealing his well worked on torso to ghosts of your bedroom. He's pulling back then, hands reaching for yours to assist you in his disrobing.

 A moment is spared to admire just what he had been hiding underneath all that fabric. Oh, what a shame... Leaning on your toes, you're taking his lips in another lingering kiss careful not to push too far. Plan would go to shit if you were allowing yourself to get lost in his soft kisses.

 Easily, you move from your position against the door. Jin watches you the entire short walk to your bed, body turning so he can get a better look at you. You make a show of the way you climb toward your headboard, bare legs crossed as you look up at him. Beckoning him over with your finger, Jin is quick to spring to action, all but running over to the edge of your bed.

 He's waiting, noticing how you stopped him just before he was about to climb into bed right on top of you. If only. What a shame. Jin's eyes drop to your thighs, catching the way you rub them together as your teeth nibble at your lower lip. “Take your pants off,” The command coming out whiner than you had hoped but Jin's hands are quick. His eyes on you the whole time he's unfastening his belt and dropping his pants to his ankles.

 You're careful not to let your eyes bulge at the sight of the size of his erection, straining against his boxers and just begging for some attention. A rub. A suck. Something. If circumstances were different, you would've been on your knees by now. Begging for a taste. What a shame.

 “These too,” The finger you had began to nibble at falls from your mouth, arm extending until you're able to reach him. You trace the tip of your finger over his covered shaft because, fuck... you can't help yourself.

 Jin shudders, mouth dropping and you can swear you see his dick twitch underneath the fabric. “You're fucking perfect.” He groans, quick to pull his bottoms down his legs, not even reacting to the way his cock bobs free, slapping against his hipbone. Fuck, he was huge, unbelievably thick, and beautifully veiny. Whoever said God was fair...

 Swinging your legs toward the edge of the bed, you're reaching for his hip; pulling his body toward you gently. Forcing your eyes from his pretty cock up to his face. Ignoring the urge to wrap your lips around the tip, just a taste. That couldn't hurt, right? “You think I'm perfect?” There's sincerity in your voice, still not over the initial shock felt when the compliment was falling from his lips.

 You couldn't lose your head now, though. Not when you were already so close to your goal. Jin is nodding his head without a second thought and you're grinning, leaning back just a bit so you can get a better look at his face.

 “Worth a hundred bucks?” 

 His eyes turn to moons the moment your words are registering. “W-what? How do you... how do you know about that?” He's stepping back just as you're shooting up from your bed.

 “What do you mean how do I know!? How could you try to humiliate me like that!?” You had spent so much time planning and re-planning your revenge that you hadn't put any time into thinking of what you were going to say once the jig was up. Mostly because you were so hurt by what he had done and you couldn't think of a way to express that without punching him a good one.

 “I mean-,” You're moving around the room, collecting the clothes that he had carelessly thrown down in the mindset he was going to become a richer man tonight. “Who even does something like that!? Is making a quick buck really that important to you?” You felt yourself holding back, wanted to ask how dare he make you like him just to turn out to be like any other guy.

 No way were you going to let him know that his stupid prank was working in any way, though. Keeping the little fact that you were falling for it to yourself was best. “It wasn't like that, Yn! Really.” He's half trying to explain himself to you and half focused on just what the hell you're doing with his clothes. Large hand covering his junk, no longer feeling confident in his nudity. 

 “Then what was it like, Jin?” You're turning, quick, not realizing that he had been standing right behind you. “Because from what I understand is that you and your friends thought it would be fun to put a price tag on my sex life and who knows how many other girls you're fucking with,” That, had been something that you forced yourself not to consider... but not the words were falling from your lips and realization was hitting.

 “It's just you! I mean... please, just hear me out. There aren't any other girls, and-,” You're cutting him off with a lift of his hand. Not really in the mood to be lied to. So ready to get him out of your face so you could be alone with all that you were feeling. “I don't want to hear it. I really don't. You're disgusting, Seokjin.” Your last words are delivered slowly and with your eyes staring into his. 

 “Yn-” He starts, but stops when he notices your backward steps toward your bedroom window. You push it open without any strain, lifting his clothes. “W-wait, what are you doing!?” He looks panicked as you toss his clothes out of the window, slamming it shut after you see them hit the ground.

 “Why would you go and do something like that!?” He's pissed, you can tell... but you don't care. You're done with him. Gave him the thirty seconds of distraught that he earned and now you were over it. For the most part. You'd work it out. It hadn't been that long since the two of you started hanging out. It wouldn't be that hard to get your shit together.

 “Hm, I wonder.” You mock with a roll of your eyes, you're passing him crossing your bedroom to reach your bathroom. “You can let yourself out,” There finality in your tone and you mean it, not bothered if you never saw him again after this.

 “You're not even going to let me explain?” He sure is talkative for a dude clutching his junk while his designer garments soaked in mud. “There's nothing to explain. Get out.” There's a droop in his shoulders following the sternness of your words. He's making his way toward your door with slow steps and you feel your heart crunch.

 Hated that it had to be like that, that he had to be like the rest of them. That you even bothered to give him a chance in the first place. It was so clear to you in the beginning, but you thought to give him the benefit of doubt, wanted him to be different... everyone was the same.

 “To think I was starting to change my opinion about you,” The words slip without your full intention. He's turning to look at you, but you're quick with the way you pull the bathroom door shut. Not having it in you to actually watch him walk out.

– rich, spoiled and a bit of a womanizer. but underneath all of that, there’s a heart of gold. and no matter how determined she is to reject him, he won’t stop trying until she sees he’s kinda sweet.

↲ masterlist ↳

taglist: @randomkoalablog​​ @smoljams​​ @dee-ehn​​ @jaiuneamesolitaiire​​ @lilacdreams-00​​ @sw33tnight​​ @bangtansonyeondayyyum​​ @okblve​​ @jinhitwhore​​ @tae165​​ @hellotherehoneybee​​ @bangtansbun​​ @betysotelo18​​ @cherriigguk​​ @koostime​​ @kooinluv​​ @butterflylion​​ @kookiesjoonies​​ @uxwi​​ @honeyoongles​​ @imajiningseokjin​​ @amoreguk​​ @beeeb05​​ @tommasauras​​ @bluefaeriefury​​ @butterflylion​​ @withlovestudyblr​​ @samros95​​​ @korkanswers​​ @houseofarmanto​​ @soulstaes​​ @thesunisup-theskyisblue​​​ @jinsearth​​​ @aizuwusho​​​ @moonb0yy​​​ @tan-dulset​​​ @8sjaf​​​ @mini-coop25​​​ @marifujioka​​​ @sunskook​​​ @elliemeetsevil​​​ @ratking101​​​ @leovaldezisfire​​​

A/N: timestamps are important throughout the fic!! if you want to be added to the taglist, send me an ask! also if you asked to be on the taglist and aren’t on there, it’s because tumblr sometimes doesn’t let me tag ppl for some reason.

#sugar free sm au #jin smut #jin imagine #jin fluff #jin #jin angst #jin reaction #jin fic #jin sm au #kim seokjin #kim namjoon #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #namjoon #yoongi #hoseok #jimin #taehyung #jungkook #bts #yoonmin #bts social media au #bts sm au #bts imagine

[sagemoderocklee]

Writer ask meme - everything divisible by 3

Sorry this took so long to reply to! I was writing out my responses today, but while watching Rosewell New Mexico with my roommate and that show is SO good. anyways this is really, really long so I will put part of it under a read more however if you are reading TAoL and want a sneak peak at an upcoming chapter, my answer to 36 is the entire first scene for that chapter

3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing? Other than the obvious writer's block, I think that my least favorite part is feeling insecure/wanting validation via comments and such. Writing is something I really enjoy doing and take great pride in trying to grow as a writer, but it's impossible to completely shake off that feeling of insecurity and sadness over something that doesn't get comments. There's this common thing in fandom where like you can pour a lot of heart and energy into something, be really skilled, only for it to get overlooked. There's obviously a lot of reasons for that, but some of those reasons are kind of annoying—like god forbid something not have sex in it, ya know?

6. Favorite character you’ve written?

So, that's hard.... If we're talking the canon Naruto characters, it can really vary from story to story. I obviously enjoy writing Gaara and Lee, but I was surprised to find that I really enjoy writing Shikamaru, Kankurou, Temari, Neji, and Tenten as well. I think all of them are really interested, have a lot of potential, and are fun in very different ways. Kankurou is definitely just flat out fun to write, and I think Tenten is very similar in the way she's fun to write. I think this like handful of characters are all faves for very different reasons so it's hard to say who my absolute fave is, but I really enjoy writing all of them. Definitely my fave thing is being able to write all of them interacting together, however.

9. Favorite/least favorite tropes?

Least: Soulmates. I hate that shit with a passion—it's boring, it's artificial, it's easy. There was a post I just saw recently that said “soulmates are stupid. I love you on purpose” and that just sums up so much of my issue with soulmates. If something is predetermined by some fucking cosmic power, do you really ever love that person? Do you really ever know that person? Soulmate AUs will always be something that bore me and also insight anger. It's just not for me, and I wish that fandom spaces would just get over it, in all honesty. Fave: uh. I don’t really know about like trope-wise. I just really like anything with good world building and politics.

12. Which story of yours do you like best? Why? Oh gosh.... um. That's really hard to answer because every story I write has a special place in my heart for different reasons. Alliance is my baby; TAoL is a huge emotional investment and has allowed me to grow even more as a writer; Absolution is something I've always wanted to explore; Flyweight Love is super fun and cute; IEYH is a new experiment in writing for me; GoD was also an experiment... and on and on. It's hard to pick like a favorite story because like they're all my faves in different ways. There are certainly things I like more or prefer, like I'm not that into modern Aus as much so it's easier for me to say that like Find Me isn't a one of my best—it isn't, there's a lot of things I want to fix on it, and while it is a decent fic, it's not like groundbreaking imo. But like for all of the things that need fixing with Alliance, that fic is my baby and really grounded me as a writer in a way no other writing project had before it. So like I could never not love it. Anyways, I'm babbling at this point, but basically I love all my fics so I can't choose.

15. How do you deal with self-doubt when writing? Rereading my writing tends to help and hoarding some of my favorite comments I've been left by readers. I know I'm a good writer, self-doubt and insecurities aside, so re-reading stuff is really a good confidence booster—but when that's not enough, it is really helpful to look back at old comments.

18. Tell us about that one book you’ll never let anyone read

Of mine??? Well, obviously by 'book' we're going with fanfiction because none of my original content is at a point where I'd really even consider it for this question. Um. Honestly, I don't think there's much if anything. Maybe some HP fics but not because I'm not like... proud of the writing or premise. Like I'd say my ideas are really good, it's just a matter of like my own time management and shit.

21. What aspect of your writing are you most proud of?

My world building. I'm also generally proud of the premises I come up with, and the themes I explore with my writing. Like I think I'm a good writer in terms of the like technical writing aspect—pros and such—and also characters, but I think I excel at world building and overall plot.

24. Do you remember the moment you decided to become a writer/author? The first time I ever wrote anything I was seven years old. I was at a party for my mom's boss? I think it was a birthday party? Anyway, I was the only kid there—which was fine because I was used to being the only kid in gatherings—but I was sitting alone by like a window and I just like started writing a poem about the night. That was like the first time that writing really became a part of me. When I was thirteen, when my mom got sick, I started writing poetry more. And when I was fourteen, I started writing fanficiton and that's kinda just... never stopped. I've been writing stories ever since.

27. Every writer’s least favorite question - where does your inspiration come from? Do you do certain things to make yourself more inspired? Is it easy for you to come up with story ideas?

My inspiration comes from everywhere, not to like be cliched. But inspiration really is in everything and everyone. I tend to find inspiration really easily in music, but it's also in just like the day-to-day; it's in other writers; it's in washing dishes; it's in a day trip to the ocean; it's in a quote or a touch or a word. Like genuinely, it's in big things and little things and things that shouldn't even be things. I don't feel like I really struggle with inspiration so much as motivation, really. And that is... a much harder thing to find sometimes (especially when you're mentally ill)

30. Do you like to read books similar to your project while you’re drafting or do you stick to non-fiction/un-similar works?

Um. I like to read fantasy mostly, but I don't look for something similar or different from my projects intentionally. I just.... look for things that I like? But I don't really know how to explain that lol

33. What’s your revision/rewriting process like? Since I'm writing mostly fanfiction and the culture of having a beta reader has dwindled significantly, making it hard to find one, I do a lot of self-editing. I'm usually re-reading a lot as I'm writing. So until a chapter is done, I'm always going back and reading/editing before moving on to the next scene. And then once I'm done writing a chapter I'll usually edit it about two or three times in full in the document, then I put it in draft on Ao3 for another edit before posting.

36. Post a snippet All right a snippet..... Let's go with something from: The Art of Love, Chapter 13 (not the next chapter, but the one after). Since I left everyone hanging for so long with that last scene of Gaara and Lee, this is the entire first scene to ch13: It was all his fault. If he hadn't let himself get so carried away in the dream of Gyokukakushin, in the dream of Gaara, in the dream of safety they didn't have this wouldn't be happening. Their belongings had been stuffed haphazardly into their various bags. Despite how many times he'd checked and double checked, Lee felt sure that he'd overlooked something—some wayward item that had rolled beneath the bed or fallen behind the desk that would give them away. Gaara had watched him silently, his thoughts kept to himself as Lee dashed about their room like a mad man.

“I think that is everything,” Lee managed over the mantra of 'My fault, my fault' cycling through his mind. His voice trembled as he spoke. Every inch of him trembled. Every breath he took rattled in his chest. Every beat of his heart was a stutter against his rib cage. Every ounce of blood pumping through his veins burned with the need to run.

“This is useless,” Gaara said, the first words he'd spoken since the beach.

Lee snapped his head up, meeting Gaara's enigmatic gaze. “But—”

“They don't set sail until the end of the month,” he reminded Lee. “What use is being packed? Besides, it will look suspicious if we leave now.”

Tears burned at the corners of Lee's eyes. “But if they are coming—”

“They're coming,” Gaara murmured. “But even if they arrive before we've departed, we have our disguises. You have to trust that we'll be fine.”

Lee's head spun. How could Gaara be so calm? How could he sit there, quiet and unshakable, when Lee felt as though the world were falling apart around them? How could he be so sure that eleven days from now, they'd set sail, free and undiscovered? How was he not furious with Lee for his complacency?

Gaara was at Lee's side before Lee could shake the spinning in his head, a gentle hand at Lee's elbow and a surety in his eyes.

“I know you won't let anything happen to me,” he told Lee, as soft and insistent as the thumb he'd once pressed against the corner of Lee's mouth.

“No. Never.” Lee's stomach twisted, guilt rising like the tide. He'd let his feelings jeopardize everything.

“Then what do you have to fear?”

A trembling laugh escaped Lee, soft and unsteady. He had everything to fear, yet Gaara's gaze implored him to forget those fears. He managed to speak, his tongue heavy with the lie, “I do not know.”

“Then do not know fear. It will make this harder for us, especially if the Daimyo's soldiers arrive before we've left.”

“If they do—”

“If they do, we will be as unknown to them as any other traveler. And if not, I trust your speed to carry us to safety.”

“We would miss our ship.”

“If it comes to that, so be it. We can find other ways of traveling to Tea Country.”

Lee allowed himself to believe all would be well because he couldn't believe anything else when looking into the depths of Gaara's eyes, but there was no escaping his gnawing guilt or the knowledge that his heart had led them to ruin.

39. Do you spend a lot of time analyzing and studying the work of authors you admire? I wouldn't say a lot of time per say, certainly not as much as I should, but I definitely do like to analyze other works and learn new skills, etc.

42. How many drafts do you usually write before you feel satisfied? I don't really write “drafts” per say. Since I'm just writing fanfiction, I'm usually just writing and then heavily editing. Sometimes editing does mean taking out and entirely rewriting entire scenes. And sometimes in writing fics, I do jump ahead—though very rarely—and write a rough draft of a future scene so I don't lose the idea/beats/etc, and then that will be re-written fully when I do get to it. But on average, I'm just doing a lot of editing.

45. First or third person? Third, definitely. I'll never be able to write first person cause it just doesn't really suit me and, overall, I think that it's a very hard point of view to write from. For me, it takes a special

48. Do you prefer to write skimpy drafts and flesh them out later, or write too much and cut it back? So before I write something, depending on what it is I will write an outline that can vary from a few sentences to like pages.

51. Are you a secretive writer or do you talk with your friends about your books? A bit of both really. I love talking about the things I'm working on, but I also love to keep things a surprise so I can see what people's genuine reactions are to like plot twists or whatever. Of course, my problem is that I have to like—talk about my projects to stay motivated. It's a hard balance. I usually end up talking with my roommate since they also write fanfic for Naruto but not GaaLee. We can bounce ideas off each other, when we're stuck, etc.

54. Favorite first line/opening you’ve written? Ugh this is another hard one...  I think im gonna go with the opening from IEYH right now as one of my fave becuase I think I did a decent job of setting the tone of my very first horror project: Too often, ghost stories begin with dark nights or horrible, gruesome death. Real ghosts don't follow the patterns of a novel; there are no beginnings, middles, and ends; no rising action and falling action; no denouement. Ghosts do not achieve resolution; ghost do not experience the climax of their own tale. There are no happy—or even sad—endings. There are no endings at all.

Ghost stories go on and on and on, rambling endlessly towards nothing and no where, only stopping for the finite amount of words one can speak or write in one's lifetime.

That is the true horror of death: ceaseless, unending nothingness.

[laufire]

In depth fandom ask: the last fandom you joined bc I can't remember it now

Well, I guess the last fandom I’ve properly joined --making a few edits, starting yet-another-WIP etc.-- is Black Sails, so. Plus I want to talk about it a little, spoiler-free, in case you decide to watch it ^-^ (I’ll leave that to the s3 post I need to finish...).

Top 5 favourite characters: Max is my number one, without a doubt, and of the rest of my faves Silver has an edge... but the remaining positions are a tough fight between Flint, Jack, Madi and Miranda, and I honestly can’t choose DD:

Other characters you like: Mr. Scott, Anne, Idelle, the Maroon Queen, Billy, Eme, Abigail... This show has a lot of great characters tbh.

Least favourite characters: I still loathe Peter Ashe with every fiber of my being. Alfred Hamilton is obviously The Worst(TM). And though it hasn’t grown into hate (yet), I don’t like Woodes Rogers one bit ¬¬

Otps: Flint/Miranda, and the combos in Flint/Madi/Silver and Anne/Jack/Max (in no particular order at the moment because I just HAVE TONS OF FEELS ABOUT THEM ALL).

Notps: I don’t have strong NOPE feelings towards anything, but I’m not into Eleanor/Max (which is a dynamic I actually really like BUT that I’m glad it doesn’t return to shippiness LOL); Eleanor/Rogers (I might be indifferent towards Eleanor most of the time but I haaaaaate Rogers for her. RUN GIRL), Flint/Vane (booooooooring).

Favourite friendships: Max & Silver (THE duo I swear), Jack & Max, Flint & Silver, Idelle & Max (I might not have said so before but I guess I like a little conflict LMFAO), Billy & Flint (NOT a friendship, but their relationship absolutely cracks me up I swear. “Who’s Billy?” XDDD).

Favourite family: Madi’s family, which is all I can say without getting spoilery. I just. *lies down on the floor overcome with emotions* xDD

Favourite episodes: the problem with binge-watching (okay, I’ve taken s3 more slowly but) is that they all kinda blur together LOL. Hmm. The season finales are all *chefs kiss* so far (sometimes in a very painful way... I’m looking at you s2. Though the ominous Flint/Silver moments in the s3 were A LOT too); any in which I get to see Max & Silver scheming together ofc. And the first handful of eps in s3 were particularly enjoyable to me because I was drowning in PURE ANGST and Flint & Silver feels xDD (I can’t NOT believe the fandom seems to call one of those “the shark date” asñldfjasdfñl).

Favourite season/book/movie: oof. I honestly can’t pick; s1 is probably the “least” because the others include better moments for some of my secondary faves, and because there’s a plot that’s really hard to watch... BUT it has things on it I adore to pieces too. s1-2 doesn’t have Madi (major drawback xD), and s3 is after one of my faves’ death... but frankly they’re all neck and neck so far.

Favourite quotes: “I am ruined over you” always comes to mind DD: “Liked is just as good as feared”; Max combo with Eleanor about sand (typing that down made me think of Anidala LMFAO. The scene itself is very different though! xD) in the s1 finale; “in another time, in another place, they would call me a queen”; “this ends when I grant them my forgiveness, not the other way around”, Mr. Scott’s “No. Only YOU.”... honestly, this show’s dialogue is just too good(TM), I could just quote it all back xD. And of course, I HAVE to mention “WHO’S BILLY”. It’s the law.

Best musical moment: the score is perfection all around, but given that I never skip the intro just to listen and watch it... yeah, the intro xD

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: well, I *might* have lost it the moment CAPTAIN FLINT COMES OUT TO LONG JOHN SILVER OVER A BONFIRE, IDK XDD

When it really disappointed you: the fact that I won’t get to see a fully fleshed out Mr. Scott-Silver dynamic is MAJORLY disappointing, let me tell you. That Flint’s actor didn’t somehow get his mother (aka Maggie Smith aka Professor McGonagall aka Lady Violet) on the show too ¬¬. LOL.

Saddest moment: character’s deaths of two of the characters listed on “top 5”/“others you like” xD.

Most well done character death: the hanging in 3x09 was well done and served its purpose.

Favourite guest star: for a value of “guest star”... I’m going with Idelle.

Favourite cast member: Jessica Parker Kennedy is the one that I know and love for other projects she’s done.

Character you wish was still alive: THE ONE WE TRAGICALLY LOST IN 2x09.

One thing you hope really happens: I’m cheating because I know there’s some of that in s4, but I want to watch more Flint/Madi interactions pls.

Most shocking twist: well, I wasn’t spoiled for Mr. Scott’s plot in s3 so I was (pleasantly) surprised by that xD

When did you start watching/reading?: a little over two weeks ago; I watched (devoured) s1-s2 and 3x01-3x04 in a few days because I wanted to meet Madi, and then I tragically had to slow down :(((

Best animal/creature: I will always love Treasure Islands’  parrot that Silver named after Flint LMFAO.

Favourite location: Nassau aka Max’s ~domain xD. And Miranda’s house.

Trope you wish they would stop using: noooooone. I love the tropes this show reuses LMFAO. Romantic Betrayals(TM), triumvirates, “good things happen in the dark/away from civilization”, the power of narratives, social climbing and revolt... bring them oooooon.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: quite a few xD. But one that really stands out to me is the dialogue; both the ~deep and sorrowful type (there were so many quotes where I had to take a break to freak out properly lol), and the humorous ones.

Funniest moments: I know I’m repeating myself, but I recently rewatched the pilot to edit some scenes and I keep remember the WHO’S BILLY one xDD (which I maintain it was Flint trolling him. He could give Abigail a rundown of Billy’s whole life story AND he shamelessly checked him out that one time. Flint knows who Billy is, he’s just an asshole xD). Really, all the scenes between Billy and Flint in that episode are comedic gold lmfao. Billy’s “oh dear I fucked up” expression when he tells Flint the crew has started to think him weak and Flint looks half a second away from murdering him right there, his WTF face at Flint’s antics with the stolen page... Gold, seriously.

Couple you would like to see: I meannnnnn. I would’ve been very happy if the show had decided to go with Flint/Madi/Silver, for one. Bonus if Miranda could’ve been included. Or just explicit Flint/Silver in poly arrangements (THEY ARE IN LOVE, IT’S JUST ~COMPLICATED XD).

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: MAGGIE SMITH DAMMIT.

Favourite outfit: literally everything Max wears in s3. Eleanor’s s1-s2 outfits were things I’d love to wear too. Flint’s ~dramatic coat. Miranda’s collection of supposedly-puritan-but-showing-the-goods dresses xDD (and ofc her London clothes), Jack’s clothes (he’s Nassau’s fashion icon lbr).

Favourite item: the books!! Especially when Flint gave Miranda “La Galatea” as a gift (given that sometimes he reminds me of my OC Latoya, you might understand the freakout I had when he gave the other member of my OTP a book titled like that xDD).

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: no, but I kinda want to. I did have a Treasure Planet computer game I tragically can’t find... it was about collecting money in increasingly difficult scenarios LOL. And I probably have more pirate-y/Treasure Island theme stuff. I had a long pirate phase xD

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: Max’s because I like being on the winning team, thanks xD (though I do ~align more with Flint and Madi’s lbr...).

Most boring plotline: Eleanor and Vane’s ~romance is not at all badly written... but the fact that I find both of them boring kinda ruins the whole thing because I always wish that time went to someone else xD. Also, Blackbeard. Meh.

Most laughably bad moment: n/a.

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: the London flashback where Miranda goes to Flint’s house unannounced to take him to an art gallery, she finds him half-naked and he gets all awkward about it lmao. And then they hook up in the carriage :DDD

Most layered character: we get to explore Flint and Silver the most. Silver’s development in particular is something that never ceases to impress me ngl.

Most one dimensional character: except the one-note characters I wouldn’t really call anyone completely one-dimensional, tbh. Though I do think the fandom attributes more complexity to Thomas than it’s seen in canon? Like, I like what I see; I think he’s functional, he works well, and he adds wonderfully to Flint’s (and Miranda’s) story, but I don’t see him as a full character in his own right. Which is perfectly fine for the narrative so far, but I fear it might fall apart for me at the very end.

Scariest moment: I never know what to say in this... I mean, I guess Flint killing a man with his bare hands in the pilot Like That was scary xD. I understand why Silver freaked out LOL.

Grossest moment: any of Max’s interactions with Vane tbh. Stay away from her ¬¬

Best looking male: Flint has that ruggedly handsome thing going on for him, if you’re into that (and sometimes I do appreciate his ~aesthetics... very sad he shaved his head in s3 though. Like, I get you did it for the Angst, honey, and trust me, I Feel U, but still). I feel like I might be forgetting someone, but seriously, none of the dudes in this show so far do anything for me LOL. I can honestly say I love them for their personalities xDD

Best looking female: I have a weakness for Max, but Miranda, Madi, Anne, the Maroon Queen, Idelle, Eme... all of them are gorgeous in their own way. This show is good for sapphic women’s enjoyment in that sense xDD.

Who you’re crushing on (if any): I could crush on any of the women mentioned above tbh.

Favourite cast moment: I have literally only seen this post about an interview where Flint’s actor says he’s too old to party with The Youth of the cast and just wants to chill on the weekend... with bonus Max and Eleanor’s actress talking about how Vane’s once climbed the side of a building up AND back down. I’m with you, Toby Stephens, you don’t need those shenanigans xDD

Favourite transportation: the Walrus, for sentimental reasons LOL. I liked stolen Spanish warship too.

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): lots of good ones, though I think my fave might be the one of Miranda sitting by the window in London. Or the one of Charles Town burning down, I liked that :))) (I remember thinking “Flint better go full Daenerys on them”. And he did! It was nice xD).

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: n/a, so far.

Best promo: n/a.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: I liked it from the word go, but the moment that TRULY cemented it for me was in 1x03, with Max making a decision that I... frankly didn’t expect. It made things worse for her in the short-term, the storyline itself was difficult and disturbing to watch and I still have some mixed feelings about it. But what it said about her as a character and how her journey goes after that... I was in awe of her, and of the show.

#missbrunettebarbie #replies #my thoughts #black sails #black sails thoughts #talking to the void #bsmax #miranda barlow #james flint #john silver #flintmiranda #silverflintmadi #silverflint #silvermadi #billy x flint #bsmadi #i think those are the most prominent ones #thanks for the ask :D

[k-odyssey]

Dramas I’ve Been Watching in April

It’s that time again when I tell you what I’ve been watching and if I liked it (without spoilers). As always it’s a long post so everything’s under the cut.

I was struggling to find the other ones so now they’re all tagged monthly posts. (I don’t know that anyone else needs to find them, but I do. It’s like the index page on my blog.)

When the Weather Is Fine (finished)

Seoul music teacher leaves the city and her unfulfilling job for the countryside, reconnects with adorable highschool classmate. They heal from the past together.

Mentioned in the last post and all other my blog. I said it was feel-good and having finished it, I stand by that. The great thing is, even when what’s happening with the leads isn’t great, there’s always another storyline to balance things out.

It looks so good. I love the fashion, which is almost exclusively thick jumpers and warm coats and gloves.

There’s two readings of the ending, one more positive than the other. But either way the finale is worth watching for Jang Woo’s little speech about happiness and mundane things.

Meow, the Secret Boy (ep18 of 24)

Cat adopted by unwilling new owner discovers he can turn into a human around her.

Started this one last month with hopes of cute romcom but it’s too weird to ship at this point. For me anyway.

It is, however, ridiculously funny. But I can’t watch more than one ep at a time due to the aforementioned weirdness. So I haven’t caught up yet.

Cute second couple, though.

Skate into Love (finished)

Star hockey player is reunited with the girl he hated in primary school at age 18, decides to take revenge.

It becomes more about how to navigate a relationship when you have an entire childhood of history and Olympic dreams. Also meddling parents and manipulative admirers.

Did I fast forward a bit? Yes. It’s 40 episodes after all, and the drama is edited to be a bit slow I think. You can easily watch it at the 1.25x speed. There’s plenty of supporting characters with their own stories, some more interesting than others. But I still found it worth watching.

I love the leads! And they actually grow, individually and as a couple. They both make mistakes and apologize and move on together.

While I’m here, let me mention that there are decent kisses!

Here’s what I wrote about the drama in the beginning.

If you don’t mind spoilers, here’s more thoughts.

Joy of Life (finished)

21st century character is sort of reborn in what looks like ancient china, with memories from his past life intact.

It’s been a long time coming, but I finished it!

By a long time coming I mean I started this drama in... December? Which might as well be a century ago at this point. I mentioned it here in January if you missed that.

46 episodes is a lot for me, especially if the drama is no longer airing. If I don’t watch it as it comes out, I 100% will end up taking up to 6 months to finish it. That’s just my brain.

The drama itself is a delight! Both funny and heartbreaking. Lots of intrigues and politics, but not in a boring way. It definitely keeps you on your toes.

Wan’er being one my faves (I don’t care if some find her plain), I was sad to see her character fade in the background as the drama progressed. The lack of romance from ep35 or so might be why it took so long for me to finish it. I love my romance ok?

Also this is season 1 of at least 2, so the ending is... an interesting and shocking one.

A Piece of Your Mind (finished)

Two people dealing with the loss of loved ones help each other through the darkness. Also there’s artificial intelligence involved.

I thought the fact that there was AI would mean the plot would inevitably end up where it usually does for this genre of kdrama: some evil person or entity trying to acquire the technology through legal or illegal means. Thankfully, that never happens. It’s not that kind of drama but a sweet melo.

Did you know I love Jung Hae In? I have that one post about him where I say exactly that but in more words and I’m always happy when it gets notes. The thing is, I don’t mind that he’s been playing similar characters lately. On an emotional level, his portrayals always work. I can’t look away from his eyes. Especially if he’s about to cry. He plays “overwhelmed with emotion” so well whether it’s anger or sadness or love. Plus, I’m all for kinder and softer male leads.

I know Chae Soo Bin from 3 other dramas and they were all comedy I think. I didn’t know she had the range! It was a good surprise to find that she could play a more poised character. I love her in this.

Is it because I’ve been re-watching One Spring Night but this drama looks so bright! In a good way. I love the light and colours. Especially at sunset. Plus all of the snow in the beginning, and Soon Ho’s plants!!! Also I love how they film through windows and play with reflections.

I’m sad they had to cut 4 episodes but they managed to wrap things up pretty well.

So many great characters. And I love that there’s several very strong non-romantic relationships. Soon Ho and Ha Won for example. As someone who wants to scream anytime I hear “men and women can’t be friends”, I love that these two are best friends. Also the boarding house scenes were great. Especially once Min Jung and the medical student moved in.

More thoughts about the AI.

Hyena (finished)

How do I describe Hyena?

It’s an unusual love-to-hate-to-love. Two resourceful, rich-people’s lawyers cross paths and well, sparks fly.

It’s not cute and fluffy. They defend the worst people and with questionable means. They have ethics but they’re different from mine.

As I have mentioned here, it was Hee Jae that grabbed my attention. Joo Ji Hoon is a brilliant actor.

The drama is fast-paced and I watched it in like a week.

Read this post I wrote at the end if you want to know more and don’t mind mild spoilers.

The King: Eternal Monarch (ep2 of 16)

King with a tragic family history finds the door to a parallel universe.

Technically I’ve watched 2 eps and like 15 min of the 3rd ep.

I’ve decided to give it at least 4 episodes. I still haven’t caught up.

Main appeal for me: Woo Do Hwan. He’s not the lead though so there’s that.

I don’t usually pay much attention to that but since I edit them for this... the posters aren’t great? And none of the ones I’ve found have the standard format so I had to choose between cutting the title and cutting off half of Lee Min Ho’s face.

Love is All (ep4 of 26)

Historical romcom. I kinda didn’t pay attention to ep1 so I’m not super clear on why the male lead is hiding his identity but he is. He’s left the capital to become a county magistrate in a small (?) town. There he meets a romance writer who becomes his adviser.

They fight all the time.

Also she keeps unknowingly declaring her love for him because she knows him by name and has a crush on him, but he’s living under a false identity. So she’s annoying him a lot but also complimenting him all the time and he’s not indifferent.

Fun supporting characters.

Is it kinda cheesy? Yes, but that’s what I typically watch cdramas for.

#monthly posts #meow the secret boy #hyena #a piece of your mind #when the weather is fine #skate into love #joy of life #love is all #the king: eternal monarch #kdrama talk

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 4x05-- The Gang Goes to War

under the cut

This episode starts with Caleb and I don’t totally hate it. This means the writers are doing a good job with him so far. I’m surprised I feel that way considering I loathe the plot he’s here for. 

This is the first case heavy episode in ages and I have more thoughts on the fact that somehow the space from 6x19 has become military court than I do on the case. As always, that’s not to say it’s bad (tbh, this case was the exact right blend of simple and captivating it reminded me of old school TGW). It’s just to say I have literally nothing to add.

Lucca’s off to visit Bianca. She is still extremely uncomfortable with very wealthy people. 

Oh, a mention of babysitting! Kind of sad I’m surprised. 

I forgot to mention that this ep is on the shorter side, almost network length. Woo! 

Lucca describes her life as “I have a toddler. I’m trying to make partner.” Remember how last season either Lucca or Rosalyn (or MAIA hhahahahhahahaahahhahaahahahhahahahaahahhaahhaah) were going to be made partner and that plot just vanished?

Lucca says that of work, family, fitness, friends, and sleep, the three she’s chosen are work, family, and sleep. I believe it. Though we’ve seen Lucca exercise probably more than most TGF characters? But that was before she had a baby. 

If you leave your phone on while you’re on a plane and someone places a voice call would your phone actually ring? 

Marissa TOTALLY has a crush on Caleb.

Oh, a Francesca mention AND a mention of Lucca and Marissa being friends?! The continuity fairy likes me today!!!!!!!! 

Caleb threatens to quit (I think he knows he wouldn’t be taken up on that offer) unless Mr. Firth lets him take a month for this case. Come on, Caleb. This is TV lawyering. This case will take two costume changes and you know it! Months are a thing for real lawyers. 

Diane and Adrian aren’t in their offices, so when Firth finds a partner to assist on the military case (I do not understand why this is a thing he is doing in the first place, but alright), it’s Liz. How conveniently awkward!

(Adrian just isn’t in this episode-- he is apparently at a conference in New York-- and Diane is barely in it, and I’m fine with that. LET LIZ AND LUCCA SHINE!) 

(Liz and Lucca are my faves, if that wasn’t obvious.) 

Awkward awkward awkward, fucking your boss is very awkward. I hate everything about this plot in theory and yet somehow like Liz, Caleb, and maybe even the idea of Liz and Caleb, but every time I think about the boss/employee dynamic my only thought is: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liz’s divorce! Continuity fairy has blessed me again!

I do really like Caleb. 

I somehow almost turned that last thought into a rant about Maia and I’m not gonna do that to y’all in this Maia-free season.

Rich people are getting away with more shit in Julius’s court. He’s resigned to it, until he meets his alter-ego from the play again. I get that they want to use this device to show why he’d change his mind so suddenly but omfg please don’t remind me of the last episode. 

My first thought was “maybe that long ass episode was even longer and this is a cut scene” but Julius seems to be wearing a different tie in this scene than he was before. Oof.

JUDGE KUHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Judge Kuhn. I think I said this last week but it isn’t often we get truly good, considered characters who want the best and actually take fair steps to see it happen. Judge Kuhn is great. 

And so is the actress playing her. Her expression as the seat shrinks-- which is some Kingsian bullshit-- makes the joke work. 

This episode relies a lot on that device Jane the Virgin loved where back to back scenes will be linked by a theme or a word. In this case, Julius and Liz/Caleb are both dealing with continuances. Yay for structure, even a simple case related structure!

“A sofa would have blown up here”... I can’t, y’all. “A conference table would have blown up here”. Is this a joke about coronavirus or a real need for more graphics or both? I lean towards it being a joke, but before I say that lemme play these credits side by side with last week’s… 

Okay so there are differences. Last week there was an aerial view of a wine bottle exploding while this week there’s a second one in the background. They replaced an exploding coffee set with the sofa text. There are some other differences too. But not enough to convince me they didn’t have footage they could have used. So I think it’s a joke.

Welcome back, season two Diane. I missed you, ya weirdo! 

(But like actually Diane is staring out the window at a bird, not doing anything or responding to questions. Why so weird?!)

Now that Diane isn’t hunting down answers on 618, she has “nothing to do.” Oh, suddenly no one in the world is in need of pro-bono assistance? Sure! 

Continuity on the SWATting, too! 

AND A WILL REFERENCE.This episode may be nothing special but it sure is endearing. 

Diane explains that Judge Kuhn is tough but fair and Will ended up liking her. That’s a pretty good summary.

Diane spots the woman who she dreamed was Weinstein’s lawyer in a meeting, drawing dots. Guess that’s one of the drawbacks of having windows everywhere. She chases her up the stairs to STRL and asks if they know each other because, and I quote, “I had a dream and you were in it. You were Weinstein’s lawyer.” HOW FUCKING WEIRD ARE YOU TRYING TO BE, DIANE? Are you microdosing again?! (This feels so season two.)

Props to this lady (do we know her name? Has it been said on the show) for taking that weird-ass comment in stride and joking she probably didn’t do very well. She needs a favor-- she has a case in front of Judge Cain and wants Diane to sit with her.

Diane asks about the dots. Apparently this lady draws-- and counts!-- dots. Hundreds of thousands of them. During meetings. Because it’s calming and nothing matters. See?! Season two! 

Lucca does get a little bit of work to do on vacation-- Bianca wants to buy the resort.

Case stuff happens.

Someone explain to me what the fuck this bright neon lighting in the office late at night is all about. Why is it so bright?! Why do the colors change!? Am I just supposed to accept this?! I suppose it’s no weirder than a woman who draws dots instead of taking notes-- and admits to it-- but WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

I know there is supposed to be some sort of parallel between the case having an element about disobeying your superior and the Liz/Caleb dynamic, but as you will recall, I hate everything about the boss/employee plot AND find it incredibly boring so if you would like to see analysis of that parallel… I’m not your gal. 

Oh look I can see the office bathroom of Willicia sexytimes in Liz’s office

My god this lighting is distracting. 

It sounds to me like Caleb is in the legal field for idealistic reasons. I can’t get a sense of if wanting the country to stay the same is liberal or conservative or admirable or misguided but it’s definitely something. (I have a feeling he means “stay the same” as in “return to 2016” though.) 

Since she has not been in the military, Liz worries out loud that she hasn’t lived much of a life. This leads to flirting and intimacy and another hookup. Bleh.

Creeper from Kurt’s office comes to visit Julius and compliments him while basically telling him to keep quiet and be corrupt. He promises Julius the chance to move up the ladder and implies Julius should rule in favor of some rich donor. 

Julius, who, like all characters on this show and maybe just people in general, does NOT like being told what to do, promptly does the opposite. And he feels really, really, really good about doing the right thing. 

Case stuff happens.

Lucca now gets invited to play poker with a bunch of millionaires and celebrities. Lucca is highly uncomfortable. The names of the celebs are bleeped which is… not as clever as I think it was meant to be.

Also I’d be uncomfortable in this situation too. I’m just ready for this plotline to go somewhere beyond “Lucca is uncomfortable with rich people”.

Recapping goes fast when most of the show is case stuff.

In another throwback, Diane (lit by the weird lighting) is watching what looks like a parody of SNL allowing 45 to host? Or maybe it’s just some unfunny bit that goes on too long? Odd target for a parody at this point in time.

Whatever the point, it prompts Diane to start drawing dots of her own. 

Lucca’s luck at the poker game is fantastic. Bianca encourages Lucca to keep her winnings-- she wouldn’t give back a stuffed animal or goldfish won with someone else’s money at a carnival, would she? 

Case stuff, now involving 45, happens. This is a missing season two episode, I swear. 

Wow lol those establishing shots and stock footage do NOT convince me that Lucca lives in Chicago. Nor do they convince me that anyone involved with the show has visited Chicago.

Case stuff happens! 

Another Lucca and Marissa scene! Lucca asks what to do about her poker winnings. Marissa says Lucca should keep the money because Bianca doesn’t need it-- get Bianca a gift if she feels guilty. 

Diane sits next to the seemingly nameless lawyer and they compare their dots. Unfortunately for Diane, the case she’s decided to sit in on as a favor? It’s another case in front of Julius, and it also gets 618’d. How convenient for the plot! When Julius doesn’t go for it, Diane is intrigued and reenergized. She boldly goes to Julius’s chambers to suggest trading info about 618.

No matter how many times I write “618” in the context of Memo 618 I still think 618 = Loser Edit. 

Case stuff happens! It’s good for Caleb and Liz! 

MALCOLM GETS MENTIONED BY NAME! CONTINUITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Caleb and Liz continue the tradition of using meals as code for sex and now I have to watch them kiss. Pass.

Lucca gets Bianca a gift of a goldfish and a giant stuffed bear (a reference to their earlier convo about carnivals). Cute, but I still don’t quite get where this plot is going.

There’s a “Skye and Moon” logo on the plane. I wonder if that is the name of Bianca’s cosmetics empire.

Oh, it’s over. This episode was perfectly fine. Nothing challenging, nothing innovative, but a solid and enjoyable outing closer in length to the average TGW ep than the average TGF one. After last week’s long-ass episode, this is really all I wanted/needed. 

#tgfthoughts #the good fight

[spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia]

SpongeGuy Reviews Every Disney Sitcom Ever!: Bunk’d (1.1): “Welcome To Camp Kikiwaka”

BUNK’D! IT’S A JESSIE SPINOFF!

...I came to it with low expectations and came back with slightly ok thoughts? This one was a bit meh, let’s get on with it.

Bunk’d is a Disney Channel sitcom that started all the way back in 2015 and is still on! A spinoff of the insanely popular “Jessie” (a show I did NOT like from the bits I saw), it stars 3 of the 4 Ross kids (Emma, the Fashionista, Ravi, the Nerd, and Zuri, the Bit... “Sweet but sassy” kid) going to summer camp like their adoptive parents did and meeting wacky new characters. It’s exactly what it sounds like: A teen camp show, so expect a lot of ok stuff and a lot of cliche stuff and a lot of toilet jokes.

As I said, I came to this with low expectations, but it was a resounding meh from me, with good and bad sides to it. Let’s get to the review!

Summery:  Emma, Ravi, and Zuri Ross decide to leave the loud and noisy streets of New York to visit Camp Kikiwaka, which is the same camp where their parents met. While Ravi and Zuri meet Jorge and Tiffany, Emma befriends Lou and develops an interest in Xander while competing against Hazel. Due to Hazel's trick where Emma and Zuri end up in the woods, Xander drags Lou, Ravi, Jorge, Tiffany, and Hazel to get to them while being stalked by the Kikiwaka.

COMEDY: 2 Out of 5

This show is one big shrug from me, and it shows from my difficulty in coming with a proper score. On the one hand, 2 felt like it was too nice: Most of the jokes were VERY fodder, and add the inane amount of toilet jokes, and I was really suffering. Yet, it also felt a little harsh: There WERE some fine zingers and character quirks (especially from my fave of this show so far, Lou, a farmer girl camping enthusiast who manages to come off as genuine thanks to her actress’ heavy work), and here and there I smiled at a joke (the toe nail guitar pick was actually kind of funny, as were the jokes between Emma and Lou). But again, so many of the jokes (especially from the characters I disliked) were just groan worthy. So I feel like a 2 was fair despite everything: The show’s humor isn’t too bad like “Pair of Kings” (shakes fist in air) but yet not fun enough to get a nice complimentary 3. A so-so 2 feels right, as you will see in my other scores.

CHARACTERS: 2 Out of 5

I am not a fan or a viewer of “Jessie”, but I knew enough to know who Ravi and Zuri were (I wasn’t sure about Emma, but tbf to the show I understood very quickly). So I can’t really judge if this is true to the original. I can however say what I thought of the 9 (!) major characters in this show, and I think it really shows when I talk about them like this.

Emma and Lou are the only characters I truly liked (sort of) and if I was writing it, they would be the only characters and also gay. Emma is a fave archtype of mine: the fashionista/rich girl/big sister who isn’t so bad after all, and paired with another fave type of character of mine (genki girl), the two play off each other well. I actually bought their budding friendship, which is surprising!

Sadly, the good characters end there. Xander (the love interest who IS a nice guy tbf), Hazel (the honestly callous antagonist) and Tiffany (the smart girl) aren’t bad or anything, just sort of ok, and Ravi, Zuri, Jorge (who nearly beat OK Boomer and Brady Bunch for my least fave character so far in these sitcoms) and Gladys (the cliche “I hate kids and my life” counselor) were mediocre at best. When nearly all the characters are just ok or crap, it doesn’t help a show.

But I didn’t hate them TOO much, and after a while you cancel out the boring ones and focus on the ok ones, and you have an ok cast! Again, a 2 felt apropos. Not bad, not great, just kind of eh.

STORY AND HEART: 2 Out of 5

Again, this is only fair. The episode is, first of all, sort of all over the place (a big no no for pilots, even ones of spinoffs for established characters): Emma’s plot is the main plot, and it gets enough attention, but constant jumping around for the other subplots kills any chance of buying them. Zuri and TIffany become friends WAY too fast, and I don’t buy it for a second, and definitely not Ravi and Jorge’s “friendship”, which is basically abandoned halfway through anyway and just, well, farted out I guess (Jorge, what have you done to me?).

But again, there ARE positives: The main story is consistent and almost believable. Emma doesn’t think she can make it in camp (admittedly a lot more interesting than “I hate this place”) and live up to her mother’s legendary status, but despite constant attacks from Hazel for Xander’s heart, she stays up for the challenge and even takes charge in a pretty nice way! She takes care of her siblings, she shows that she cares for others, she even develops a nice friendship with Lou (I was sure she would just hate her)! Alongside the likable atmosphere of a campground and the lightheartedness of it (it’s no Pair of Kings arrogant, that’s for sure!) you kind of sit back and let it play as background noise. Again, no masterpiece, but not so bad that I could give it a 1.

FINAL SCORE: 6 Out of 15

This feels just right as a score. Below average for sure, but still sort of ok in a mediocre eh way. I’ll say this: I would watch all of Bunk’d if it meant I never saw Pair of Kings again. So, yeah, harmless! I’d watch the second episode with less hesitation!

Next time it’s So Random! (GOD I AM NOT READY) and also coming today is a double review of the first two segments of Fish Hooks!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/100qHOP9aQ1AmKbrYuc--CQAP3LQnHfsS/edit# (updated rankings!)

#spongeguy #review every disney show #disney sitcom #bunk'd #peyton list #jessie #disney channel

[danielxrk]

         ✞ POST MGA FINALE INSTAGRAM LIVE *  { song }

(  * mentioned, some very briefly: @rksuwoong​ @rkheejin​ @rkmason​ @rkpwj​ @rksakura​ @rksihyeon​ @rkyeji​ @rkkenta​ @rkjinwook​ @rkxjinki​ @junerk @rkxsungwoon @hyojinrk )

when the camera comes on, it’s a low shot of half of daniel’s face, the background passing behind him. “i’m still outside! i just got back from class, i was just bored...and excited to talk to you?” and he laughs; the first part is true, but the rest of the truth is that he was too nervous to start this in any normal way, with his face in full view of the camera, with nothing to do but talk. he knows he would be awkward, so he starts this way instead, even as he fumbles to open his door, swapping his phone from hand to hand until he finally gets it open.

“sorry!” he apologizes. “at least this gives more time to anyone to join that wants to...?” finally, he makes it inside his apartment, and holds the phone up to his face properly, turning at a wide angle to get the rest of his apartment into the shot for a moment before he puts the phone down again and heads to his room. there, he sits down at his desk, and sets his phone down, propped up (thank you, popsocket.) “is this a good angle?” he asks, and the comments inform him that it’s too low, so he piles up some of his books and puts his phone on top of that and gets the okay.

“okay,” he says with a nod, and then just kind of stares into the camera, hesitating, uncertain, awkward for far too long, and then he laughs at himself. “sorry, i just-- i’m not actually that good at talking. the mgas edited me to be cooler than i actually am,” well...they also edited him to look worse than he actually is, too, but he’s sure the audience has largely seen a him that’s more talkative than usual. then again, is it just him that thinks he’s quiet now? can he really say that anymore, all things considered? “i wanted to do one of these because we did our mga interviews on thursdays, and there’s a lot from those that get cut, so i wanted you guys to get a chance to...see what one is like, if you wanted?” it sounds stupid now that he’s saying it out loud, but he smiles hopefully regardless, and receives positive comments (and some negative ones that he laughs at so he doesn’t think too hard about them) so he moves on.

“the first question they ask is ‘what did you think of last week’s results?’ which i guess is a good place to start.” strangely enough, he hasn’t really thought of how to answer this, and he laughs about that too. “i didn’t actually think of how to answer these yet, so this is...a real live experience,” and then he falls quiet for a while as he thinks. “i think i’m still figuring out the answer to that question, honestly. i still don’t really know what to think.” he probably shouldn’t be as honest as he is, and he doesn’t know what’s appropriate to say on a public platform. there are no votes to be won or lost-- nothing to be edited for national television; this is just for people that care enough about him, positively or negatively, to come to his personal social media and hear him out. “they didn’t air this, but i said in my interview a week ago that if there were individual rankings, suwoong would’ve won,” and he grins. “i picked royal as winning too, and mentioned suwoong and heejin as reasons why, so i’m glad i was at least right about who got contracts,” but he wasn’t right about much else. how much detail does he go into, about how much he agonized over what he could’ve done differently that night-- how much he still did?

the silence must be telling, so he begins with what’s easy: “i really liked trc’s performance in the semi-finals, and minho hyung always brings quality to anything he does, so i wasn’t surprised they won. they deserved it, honestly, but...” but what? but if it was sphere’s team, they all would’ve gotten contracts? maybe he and woojin could’ve stayed together? maybe not. maybe it was just god’s plan that they be torn apart from the start. maybe it was inevitable. “i wish it could’ve been us, of course,” and he laughs-- looks down at his hands --a little empty. “i’m happy for them, and sakura, sia, and yeji,” and that much is definitely all true. he gives a nod of affirmation. “everyone, really, but those most of all.” he doesn’t mention kenta and woojin, because everybody already knows how he feels about their success-- his happiness can be inferred --but also because he knows he’s not entirely happy. by now, he knows there will always be a part of him that finds it a little regrettable. “there were 15 winners last year, and i feel like making it ten instead of 15 with the wide pool of talent we had was...” his voice trails off, and he grimaces a little. “it’s mnet, right?”

he looks at the comments, and there are lots of mentions of kenta and woojin, and what he said on twitter, but there’s not much more to say than he already has on twitter, unless they just want to hear him talk about it out loud. he doesn’t have much strength for that. he sees a few comments along the lines of is empty enigma disbanding? but he doesn’t have the strength to answer those questions yet either, so instead, he moves on.

“they’ll usually ask us a question about what it was like to work with our groups, and i’ll say that there really wasn’t anything that went on behind the scenes that wasn’t aired. everything went as well as it looked,” and this part isn’t really that interesting. “jinwook hyung is the best. coach jinki and hojung were really good too, but jinwook helped me a lot personally, and i’m really grateful to him.” there’s something else he remembers now, and he scowls, comically. “that mashup we performed, fiesta? they edited it like it was jinwook’s, and he did the most work, but we made that together. did you guess?” there’s a mix of i knew and what? and you did? and as expected in the comments, and he laughs a little. he sees one comment saying please make more mashups in the future, and daniel chooses to acknowledge it: “i’ll make more mashups! i think blending existing instrumentals is really difficult, but maybe if i recreate the instrumentals myself? i know guitar and bass, but i’m good with a drum machine now, and sungwoon hyung taught me some keyboard that i’ve expanded on. either way, i think it’ll be fun, and it’s not like i have anything better to do, so,” he laughs, nervously this time.

there are some comments asking how sungwoon is, and daniel isn’t really sure what to say about that. “how is sungwoon? he’s probably watching,” he laughs, even though he doesn’t know if it’s true or not. it might be too painful for him to hear him talk about it, and if not that, he’s busy, finding new ways to run from their problems as he always does. (daniel can’t blame him this time; he also goes to great lengths to avoid confrontation, including being confronted with the truth and their uncertain and likely bleak future.) “sungwoon hyung if you’re watching please say hi,” he laughs, and then shakes his head.

“i’m kidding, i think he’s busy. he’s okay though. we’re okay,” it feels like a lie, even if it’s not. they’re hanging on by a thread, but they are hanging on, regardless, even if okay seems generous. “it’s difficult, but--” he clasps his hands together, and he still doesn’t want to talk about it. he stares through his desk for a moment, trying to find words he can speak out loud, but he hasn’t been able to all week. he doubts they’ll come now, in front of a camera, broadcasted directly to his fans, if not empty enigma’s fans, so he decides to quickly move on once again.

“then they’ll ask us what we thought about our performance, and i’ve thought about it a lot, and i still like our performances,” and he smiles, close-lipped. “i think, maybe, we could’ve performed better to rank higher. i could’ve danced better and rapped better too, and i think maybe if i had, we would’ve done better than we did, but in the end...i’m glad we went out the way we did. it was fun, and something i was proud of before the results, and i think that’s what matters.” that’s all i can ask for, he almost said, but he can ask for more. he’s still asking for more. he looks at the comments again, and sees many claiming their performances were the best. “you guys are just biased,” he laughs. “‘so? so is mnet,’” he reads one of the comments aloud, and he laughs heartily, and afterwards, says, “no comment,” cheekily. 

“what else is there, uhhh...” he feels exposed suddenly, rolling through this instagram live thus far without too much over-thinking, but it settles in now and brings new nerves with it. “i can’t think, sorry,” he admits with more nervous laughter. “ah, they asked what our favorite performance and part of the season was, and my favorite performance i did were the two mashups i did this season; i think it’s a tie. the one with hyojin-ah and then fiesta that you saw on saturday,” he nods. in come many comments about hyojin deserving better, requesting another collab, and daniel grins. “i’ll contact him! i want to collab again with him too. we actually collabed before mgas too, did you know? actually, it was during technically-- when i was learning to rap for skills week. he was doing a street performance and needed a rapper, and there i was, so...it was good practice!”

it’s a perfect segway into his next answer. “my favorite part of the season was skills week, i think. it was fun seeing everyone in their element, and i also had a lot of fun performing my original rap, even if it wasn’t very good,” and many argue with him in the replies, claiming otherwise. there are a few that do agree with him, and tell him to stop rapping, but he sees at least one person quote his and i’ll still get more screentime than your faves line back in return, and he just kind of observes, wide-eyed, never really expecting this amount of attention despite rapping about it. “it was also nice to have all of empty enigma in the competition for that, and for all of us to sit together and hype each other up. it was amazing hearing the results for that too, and that all of us made it another round into the competition together.”

this brings on many questions about the band he should’ve expected, and it’s what he gets for mentioning empty enigma. one catches his eye: did you really join the show just to promote the band? and now that the show is over, he feels like he can answer this a little more truthfully, though still, not really; he picked up enough fans thanks to the show, and he’s sure many are here out of pity for him not receiving a contract, thinking he really wanted one. “we didn’t join the show just to promote our album,” he says, and he isn’t sure whether that was a lie or not. “but it was a bonus, right? it was an extra push some of the members needed, but the mgas last year taught me how important music really was to me, and i thought everyone else might be able to learn something important from this season too, plus everything i said on twitter. in the end, i’m really grateful i got to have this experience with them.”

he regrets it a little too, though. if he just let kenta and woojin stay home, they wouldn’t be in this mess. maybe they all should’ve stayed home, then he and sungwoon wouldn’t have embarrassed themselves on national tv, even more so than the former season. “but stream between fear and faith on melon,” he jokes, with laughter and a smile that lingers on his face. yes, it’s a joke, of course. he sees some questions about what empty enigma is in the comments, but there are plenty of people that point them in the right direction, thankfully.

in come more of the is empty enigma going to disband? questions, so daniel takes this as the perfect excuse to change subject, and do something he intended from the start. “aside from the interview part! i wanted to play you guys a new song.” he leaves his phone where it is and crosses his bedroom to grab his guitar from across the room, then take a seat in his chair with it. he scoots back so he has plenty of room, and so his guitar is a little better in the shot. “are you excited to see my guitar again?” he teases, and the chat gives him mixed signals-- some yes’s, some zzz emojis, both of which he can understand.

he strums, and tunes, and already feels more comfortable with the guitar in his hands, as is usually the case. “this is a song i wrote really recently-- i finished it this week, actually, so this is the premiere. this song is a little special, because all of my past songs, i wrote for squ-- sungwoon,” he has to correct himself, even though saying sungwoon in this situation doesn’t seem right either, because it is squall he’s been writing for. “for sungwoon to sing in empty enigma, even never lose your flames, but this one i just wrote for me,” and of course this prompts more questions about disbandment that he doesn’t want to answer, so he starts to play.

i wish i was more self aware maybe i'd take my own advice maybe i could make a wish without taking a risk of maybe not being right

the first part is straightforward enough-- daniel’s hypocrisy, daniel’s cowardice.

but i'm the same kid, same mission same confidence condition most of the time i just close my eyes and throw and go my decisions and that's okay that's okay sometimes

it’s a reference to his first season of the mgas, and being the same person as then, even though he felt so different, and the same mission: shine the light on his friends, never seeking any real recognition for himself, and it highlights his lack of confidence more than anything. it’s his condition. either he thinks too much or not at all, hesitates and refrains and when he finally makes a decision it’s almost an impulse-- throw and go, a reference to a gig performed without a soundcheck, made without enough preparation, but in it all is reassurance. he has such a tendency to panic that he needs it, but he wrote it for anyone else needing to hear it, too. 

i keep pushing further 'cause i know when i am here it all gets better even if it's been a year it don't stay down forever even when i'm lying here i won't lay down forever i won't lay down forever

he wrote the first few lines of the chorus during the mgas-- pushing further, believing the mgas and their stage made him and his life better, and maybe that hasn’t changed. even if it’s been a year was a reference to last season, and meant to be uplifting-- a promise that things were looking up after he lost then, but it has a different meaning now following the results. he still didn’t change the lyrics, because he liked what they meant now. it’s been a year and he still has nothing to show for it, and for now, he’s lying down, but he won’t forever. he’ll pick himself up and dust himself off...soon.

what do you know about real pain? do i really deserve anything? i never run the ship i just circle around it and pretend that i'm getting in

they’re some of the last lyrics he wrote-- about the hurt that came with acknowledging the potential of a life without empty enigma, and the feelings that came with his lack of contract offer, and thoughts of if he even deserved empty enigma, and that was why he was losing it. another reference to him being indecisive, and his tendency to never take charge and kid himself and pretend, and a reference to that pirate theme of their finale mga performance. as much as it seemed like he was in charge-- as much is it might’ve felt like it, he was never really in control of that. he doesn’t even know if he believed he was in control, or if it was just another grand ruse of his.

but i'm a hard case to break in i'm preaching day-out and day-in most of the time i don't even find the words that i keep sayin' and that's okay

this time: a reference to his faith, as is always necessary in his songs, and how much he talked during the mgas, and how differently it was always received, and how little he recognized himself and how much he spoke-- how much he regretted some of the things he said. nothing he ever says feels quite right, though, always too much or too little, but that’s just him. that’s okay.

he sings the chorus again, repetition of lines always relevant, the ones that might hit closest to home-- the ones that need to be said over and over so he remembers and convinces himself of it. it’s the main reason why he wrote this song: to force himself to believe it, and heave himself out of the rut he was so in danger of staying in forever. 

the guitar chords are simple and equally repetitive, and change a little going into the bridge.

don't be so hard on yourself i say to myself lying in the dark don't be so hard on yourself i say to myself, lying don't be so hard on yourself i say to myself lying in the dark don't be so hard on yourself i say to myself

it’s a melody he’s fond of, especially the end, where he gets to put a twist on it. this part repeats too, another mantra to remember, and that lying could be a lying in the dark cut short, or just the word lying, and he means it both ways. god knows he’s lied about a lot, even when he claims he’s not being hard on himself. 

the guitar slows down for the final chorus, and he already has intentions of a second guitar to accompany the main line of this one, if he gets a chance to record this song properly. he ends with a few i won’t lay down forever’s and his guitar sees him out, and he stays there for a moment, staring down at his frets before he looks back up to the camera, and he smiles.

what he’s met with is compliments on the song, and several seemingly copied and pasted comments of IS EMPTY ENIGMA DISBANDING? and it’s hard to avoid this time. his silence would be answer enough if he didn’t say anything. “empty enigma’s future is uncertain,” he says at last. people ask if kenta and woojin are accepting their contracts too, and daniel doesn’t touch on that; it’s not his to say, and he’s also hoping they won’t, and that he’ll have a better answer to this question by next week. “if any of us become trainees, we can no longer promote with the band, so i hope you can understand us needing time to figure it out.”

that’s a diplomatic enough answer, and he really does hope people understand. this is a good time to bring up one of the most important things to him at the present, though: “regardless, we’re having a show tomorrow, and tickets are still available. i don’t know if it’ll be our last show or not, but i’ll perform like it is and put my whole heart into it. it’s a really important show no matter what, since it’s our first show after the mgas! come out and see us if you want. it’ll be fun, and i’ll hang out for a while after at the merch table. squall probably will too,” and he smiles, eyes turning into crescents, and it isn’t as painful as he expected, even though he knows, deep down, kenta will accept his contract. he told them as much, so at the very least, they will be an empty enigma without kenta, and he doesn’t know if that’s an empty enigma worth being at all. 

“i think that’s all?” he says then, looking at his screen attentively, searching for anymore questions worth answering, but he doesn’t see anything that jumps out to him. “okay, bye! hopefully i’ll see you tomorrow, and you can meet cameo for the first time. bye! thank you!”

#rkmga5 #;solo #;mga5vlive #;inst #;ee #( * me: time to write a classic one hour interview solo #me realizing they took me an hour because that's all i had as this one takes three hours: #this was fun tho we had fun even though i'm exhausted #he's happy he got to play his new song!! #maybe will do these more often will see #i'm not even checking to see how long this is end my life tbh one more tomorrow btw )

[user-mania]

Lawlight Fanfics

//Also these awesome fanfics are just my opinion, sorry if some of it wasn’t your cup of tea//

•Jealousy by: Spotofpaint 》 L and Light have settled into their new lives in the sleepy little upstate NY town. Now all that's left to do is live happilly ever after. That is...unless a woman tries to come between them. (Ch. 34/34)

[It’s really an awesome fanfic, L’s a very little bit OOC though. But never the less, still amazing. ’Cause it’s not all about Jealousy, and the story was more than that. It’s really great.]

• Transient Dreams by: AnotherLostSoul 》 L knows Light is using his love for him to manipulate him. L knows Light does not love him and will write his name down. L knows it will break his heart but he will do what he must to see Kira executed. L wishes he didn't know any of these things. He wishes his Transient dreams could come true. (Ch. 6/6)

[If you want to cry your tears out, if you want your heart clencing and somewhat knives piercing, and If you want someone to look at you—like you’re crazy, this fanfic is for you. All I can say is //kinda spoiler// <The Author is generous at the ending.>PS. I actually forgot I was only reading 6 Chapters XD That’s how long and good this fanfic is!]

•Love On A Tombstone (Sequel to The Last Name) by: A. David 》"I know this is hard for you. I know this isn't what we imagined, but-" "I'm not supposed to be here, Light." (Ch. 28/??)

[If you want an awesome fanfic, but the last update was August 2018, this is for you ;-; Also a Fun Fact, the Title of the Chapters are Song titles ♡ Also idk if my wig got snatched by the plot twist or I’m just dumb. Probably the latter. ]

•Putting It All Together by: Dotti55 》Now that Light and L are back in Japan and Light is on his way to becoming a member of the police force, all they need to do is put it all together in spite of all the outside pressures, will they succeed? Sequal to "Something to Think About". LightxL. (Ch. 45/45)

[Something to Think About (Ch. 5/5) are just L and Light’s Valentines Day—which contains both Fluff and Smut. Anyways, this is really awesome!! I remeber how many times my heart breaking here.]

•Into the Night by: Dottitt55 》After a three month separation, Light finds he has to go undercover to catch a killer, and once again be separated from L. L worries how far he will have to go to catch the killer. Sequel to "Putting it All Together". LightxL. (Ch. 30/30)

[Another Sequel where my Heart breaks 10× more than the last fanfic.]

•I Won’t Say by: angeltrap》Having found out L’s name, Light can finally have everything he wants: the world and, more importantly, L. Convincing L, however, turns out to be more difficult than killing him, especially with a house full of orphans to stir the soup. Christmas fluff balanced by a power struggle between the dynamic duo. (Ch. 16/16)

Warnings: Slash; consent issues; morally questionable actions and ideals; delightfully AU after the end of Yotsuba Arc. Oh, and fluff. Like, cotton candy all around. Grab your xylitol.

Written and originally published on FF net between Jan 2009 and Jan 2012; edited and re-published also on FF net in Jan 2017.

[I remember actually reading this for the first time, and I hate myself for getting bored on the start of the chapter, so I kinda didn’t read it. And month has passed and I tried looking for DN Lawlight fanfics again, I canme across this fanfic again and I was like “Mhh okay, Lets take another shot”—AND NOW THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVE FANFICTION.]

•I Want You To Believe In Me by: Kir Sirin 》 A kiss from L sends Light into thinking it's all just another game to get him to admit to being Kira. So he decides to play along. But what if L really finds himself falling? And what of Light? LightxL First fanfic. Complete. (Ch. 12/12)

[Idk why but this is on the top of my list, I really love and adore this fanfic. I guess it was somewhat special to me becauss this was the first DN fanfic that I read and somewhat made me cry (‘cus i’m a crybaby), the ending was okay, but still made me cry.]

•Friend or Foe by: Spotofpaint 》 Light and L struggle with their desire to defeat the other, but also at the same time long to be friends. Their conflicted emotions make for a complicated storyline and sometimes can inspire both humor and drama. Contains very mild romance. (Ch. 25/25)

[I freaking love this. Another one of Spotofpaint incredible fanfic. The perfect fanfic for those who wants Enemies to Friends.]

•Friend or Flame by: Spotofpaint 》 Light and L have escaped Japan and have started a new life in America. But their troubles are far from over. In this new land there are much more frightening things than mass murderers and death. After all, what could be more terrifying than feelings? (Ch. 27/27)

[Hmm. Enemies -> Friends. Friends -> ??. The sequel of Friend or Foe ;-)]

•Retribution of a Fallen God by: VampireGRose 》 Three years have past since Kira's downfall, and the Shinigami King wonders if his realm lacks entertainment. Light Yagami awakens in the Shinigami world and is given a choice: spend eternity in nothingness or become the king's champion and win back his name. But who must Light work beside to regain his freedom? (Ch. 21/21)

[I Definitely love this!! I'm so sad that the sequel isn't finish yet ;-;].

#death note #fanfictions #lawlight #lxlight #lightxl #meronia #melloxnear #mattxmello #melloxmatt #ao3 #fanfiction.net #nearxmello #funny #sad #fluff #angst #l lawliet #light yagami #near #mello #matt #nate river #mihael keehl #mail jeevas #wammy boys #beyond brithday #BB #L #Yaoi

[kokorobloom]

GOT7 Fan-fic. Rec.

 So, since I’ve read like 80% of fics in the Got7 fandom, I though I’d do a fic rec, to help you (potential reader) and so that I finally can have a list of my favorite fics. These are not all the fics I’ve read, just the first ones that came to my mind. Also most of it consist of JJP, but I will add more pairings as I go! This list is not yet complete, I’m working on completing it, it just takes a lot of time to search for these fics. None of these fics are mine, all credits go to the amazing authors! The only things that are mine, are the little reviews after each fic! Good read! :)

M = Mature / Explicit W = Trigger Warning ♡ = fave

                                           !still under editing!

Jaebum / Jinyoung

* M - Anteroom by minhyukie

Summary: How do you act around your ex with your child in the other room? It’s been almost a year and a half, and Jinyoung has yet to figure it out.

Review: soooo goood!! It’s extremely angsty but its so worth it! The growth of the character is portrayed really well, the side characters are awesome and such an important part of everything, I loved it so much! Also kid!yugyeom is always a plus! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

*M - Jaebum’s Color Theory by pepijr

Summary: Jinyoung is a film studies professor trying to get promoted and Jaebum does his best to help.

Review: Alright, in this one Jaebum is the cutest but dumbest human being. Like he’s really dense but it’s so on point and it’s so lovable it’s unreal. Everything is perfect about this one.♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ 

*M - Meet The Parents by pepijr

Summary: Jinyoung loves Jaebum, and Jaebum loves him back, but a single note makes him question everything.

Review: It’s a continuation of Jaebum’s Color Theory, thank god the author has decided to bless us with more of this universe! It’s still ongoing but it’s just as good as the first one if not better! ♡♡♡♡♡♡

*M - The Park Family Recipe by pepijr

Summary: Jaebum and Jinyoung meet after six years with a lot more baggage than they remember.

Review: Another single dad!Jinyoung au (well kinda, Hyunjin is his little brother but he takes care of him). Jinyoung has a lot of problems but orphan!Jaebum is ready to fight for the family he choose. 

*M - bdsm quiz by okjb

Summary: jjp take a bdsm quiz and come to some interesting self-discoveries

Review: this one is pure smut lol

*M - Nora’s Dairies by pepijr

Summary: In which Nora makes sure that Jinyoung and Jaebum meet in every life.

Review: ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

*M - Take All Of Me by fishcake

Summary: It has bothered Jaebum since the day he could comprehend it.

Review: We need more omega!Jaebum in our life. ♡♡

* M - bloom by subsequence

Summary: Jaebum may have learned to accept his role as future king, but accepting this new role — the thought makes him sick to his stomach.If he could have, Jaebum would have chosen any other way to present as an omega.(Or: Omegaverse Arranged Marriage AU featuring Princes!JJP and a cast of loudmouth extras.)

Review: So good???? Like this one is right up my ally, I just fucking love everything about this one. Seriously, do yourself a favor and read it. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - Playboy by comingbacktoyou

Summary: Jaebum's intentions are obvious. Jinyoung doesn't get the hint.

Review: HOLY HOLY OH MY. Jaebum is a producer who's desperate for dick, Jinyoung is a new artist acting all prude bUT JUST WAIT FOR IT. Cute Markson in the bg. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - The Tiger and the Duke by foxxing

Summary: Im Jaebum is the richest man in the country under forty, content to mess around and skirt the headlines as a cutthroat businessman and casual playboy. Park Jinyoung is a graduated English Literature major, content with (in Jackson's words) his boring life working at a restaurant and writing poetry. When their worlds collide over a spilled cup of coffee, Jinyoung learns there's a lot more to life than the secrets of his past and the safety of library books.

Review: This one is literally a JJP classic. Long af but sooo worth the read. The characters really just grow on you, even if they are dumb af sometimes :( also GREAT SMUT

* M - Wilder by Sugarbowl

Summary: Newly graduated, Jinyoung is determined to try new things. New parties, new boys, and when Mark asks for a favor, even volunteering as a counselor at summer camp. But new experiences can get complicated, and he quickly finds himself a little out of his depth.

Review: Another classic. I live for the sex scene in at the end. Jaebum is confused and doesn't know how to stand up for himself and Jinyoung is jealous af but also kind of insecure. But they make a great pair together :'). ALSO great smut (!), awesome Markson and cute af Yugbam plus a bunch of great Kpop cross overs (!!).

* M - Charade by Sugarbowl

Summary: Jaebum and Jinyoung walk parallel paths in many ways, but Jaebum isn't interested in their intersection. Jaebum struggles to support his young son on his own, while everything seems to come easy for wealthy, charming Jinyoung. But when they're forced to partner for a project, Jaebum finds himself a bit more willing, and much more in need.

Review: Another great fic by Sugarbowl. It's still ongoing but this fic is so beautiful. Both Jaebum's and Jinyoung's feelings are portrayed extremely well and the way they come together is beautiful. Plus kid!Yugyeom is adorable. ♡♡

* M - Citation by KingJackson

Summary: When the one book he needs for an important term paper has to remain in the campus library, Jinyoung catches the eye of Jaebum, a library assistant.

Review: Another classic. Jinyoung is dumb af in this fic, I literally was on the verge of screaming while reading this. But luckily Jaebum is soft af, so everything works out in the end :DD Great smut is always a plus! ♡

* M - Flux by foxxing

Summary: Jinyoung doesn't love him back.

an AU where jaebum and jinyoung have been best friends for their entire lives, and where jaebum has always been irrevocably in love with him but somehow, jinyoung just doesn't seem to get it.

Review: Another fic that makes me scream. LIKE SERIOUSlY WTF. My heart ached so much during this fic :( But as always everything works out but man, this was an emotional ride for me. ♡

* M - Compas Calling by Sugarbowl

Summary: Prince Jinyoung is destined for a lifetime of luxury, until he's shoved in a trunk and accidentally abducted. Im Jaebum clawed his way out of poverty to captain a pirate ship and... not much else, actually. Jinyoung could be his first real treasure, if Jaebum could just figure out how holding someone for ransom actually works.

Review: BEST FUCKING FIC OF THE CENTURY DO YOU HEAR ME I'VE RE-READ THIS ONE SO MANY TIMES IT'S THE BEST OMG ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - A certain Romance by foxxing

Summary: By day, he's a top-rated babysitter. By weekends he's an x-rated escort. These things are generally kept separate, until the day his weekend regular gets his phone number by recommendation and calls for an emergency babysitter. The problem is that Jaebum doesn't know that Junior the escort is also Jinyoung the babysitter.

In which Jaebum and Jinyoung know each other in the biblical sense but maybe want to get to know each other, too.

Review: okay this fic is like really hot and kid!yugyeom is back at it with being adorable :')♡♡

* Unless by gotchick

Summary: jaebum had always been mark's best friend, while jinyoung was mark's kid brother. (high school au)

Review: Really cute au, the progress of growing up is portrayed well and realistically. (Spoiler! Honestly I live for the scene where JB throws a pillow on Jinyoung's surprise boner to save him :'DD )

* M - Wildcat by foxxing

Summary: No one really talks about it, but it's a well known secret that Jaebum’s real vice is racing cars. Dangerous and incredibly illegal, street racing is the one thing Jaebum is good at (besides being the nation’s first pain in the ass) and has never been caught for. How he does it, nobody knows: Jaebum's been caught for drugs, for stealing, for fighting, but it seems like the one thing the police can never pin him down for is the one thing he loves the most.

He represents everything that Jinyoung can't stand, and Jinyoung hates him.

Review: this is some A+++++ smut right here. ♡

* W - the grandfather paradox by symmetrophobic

Summary: Jaebum locks himself in a cyclic normalcy of work, home, life, and the two people he now loves most in the world- his husband Jinyoung and six-year-old son Yugyeom. So when a mysterious teenager shows up in his life and messes all that up, to say that he's just a little displeased by the change would be an understatement. But Jaebum soon discovers there's more to this quiet, truthful boy than meets the eye, and knows that he has just about four days to find out why.

Review: Amazing fic, but my heart hurts so bad :(((((((((

* M - Prove it by Got7hearts

Summary: For as long as he can remember Jaebum has always been there, protecting him and taking care of him like the big brother he never had so what happens when Jaebum is pronounced an alpha and Jinyoung an omega and the air between the two suddenly shifts.

Review: Great A/B/O fic and hot af smut!

* Of duchebags and pretty boys by schoetheisrealaf

Summary:  "Dear Dog Biscuit, Since you seem unable to understand the sign that clearly indicates that this parking space is to be exclusively used by the staff of this facility, I’ll kindly explain it to you again: Until you’re an employee of the state who works his ass off for society only to get shit wages and the worst working hours you CAN’T USE THIS PARKING LOT, SO FUCK OFF! Apart from that, have a nice day. PS.: I hope you don’t have sex for a year. :)"

OR

You steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you're hot AU Starring Jinyoung the kindergarten teacher and Jaebum the (arrogant yet dorky) business man

Review: I JUST LOVE THIS FIC IT'S SO CUTE OK?!?♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - lagoon by gotchick

Summary: in elegant terms, jaebum is jinyoung's sponsor. in inelegant terms, he's jinyoung's sugar daddy.

* M - Walls of Glass by hakka is_shadow, katamari

Summary: The city's social structure is firm and unyielding--Alphas at the top, Betas in the middle, and Omegas as pliant, broken servants to the Alphas. When Im Jaebum, the heir of an old Alpha family suddenly finds his social position flipped, he's thrown into a world of intrigue, deceit, and as the very unwilling servant to an even more unwilling Park Jinyoung.

Review: OK SO THIS IS LIKE ONE OF THE BEST WRITTEN FIC IN THIS FANDOM. LIKE THE UNIVERSE IS SO WELL MADE AND THE PROGRESS OF JJP RELATIONSHIP MAKES MY HEART SWELL UP WITH LOVE ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* Come Soflty (to Me)  by Sugarbowl

Summary: Jinyoung is new in town, and Jaebum is trouble. 50's AU

* M - Spoor by maledict

Summary: It wasn’t odd, to present so late, but that wasn’t the problem.

Review: I don't like to read canon fics, but this one was a great one.

* an apple a day by moonlikeyou

Summary: Doctor Park Jinyoung, star of Seoul Medical Centre's paediatric department, is used to being treated by nothing less than starry-eyed adoration and respect. So, its no surprise that when Im Jaebum, a surgeon with maddeningly pretty twin moles, kicks him out of "his" operating room, Jinyoung gets a little mad.

Okay, maybe more than a little mad. But it's all Im Jaebum's fault anyway.

Review: DOCTOR!AU. CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - Taint Me by Got7hearts

Summary: Jinyoung is seventeen when he falls in love with Jaebum, who is eight years older than him.

Review: Jaebum with piercing. That's it. ♡♡

*M - This Christmas (I'll give you my heart) by schoetheisrealaf

Summary: Jaebum and Jinyoung have a fight at the supermarket in the morning. Jaebum and Jinyoung find out they're arranged to be married in the evening. Jaebum and Jinyoung fall in love, but only in time.

OR

Shouting match over the last Christmas goose at the grocery store AU

Review: This is super cute. Best while listening to Confession. :'3

* M - Smoke and Mirrors by hakkais_shadow

Summary: This was not the birthday present that Im Jaebum was expecting...

Review: Mafia au and hot af smut... ♡♡

* M - I Don't Fucking Care (At All) by wonwoozi

Summary: “Your boyfriend’s hot when he plays.” Jackson mumbles to him as he slips an arm behind Jinyoung, hand finding purchase on the edge of the wooden bartop, his fingers gripping the ribbed edge.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Jinyoung replies instinctively and gives Jackson a routine jab to the ribs. “And that’s my line, by the way.” He adds as his eyes trail over to Mark, sat behind the drumkit with his face trained into a concentrated smirk, smashing every beat perfectly, hair positively dripping with sweat.

“Not my boyfriend either.”

* M - keep me warm by subsequence

Summary: The problem is that Jaebum...isn't a cat. At least, not entirely. God, sometimes Jinyoung wishes it were that easy, wishes he could just leave out a bowl of food and water and maybe get his laptop keyboard used as a napping spot when he was supposed to be working and have a simple owner-pet relationship.Instead, Jinyoung has a romantic entanglement bordering on codependency and the worst case of blue balls he’s ever had.And Mark had said that getting a cat hybrid would be good for his blood pressure. What a joke.

Review: Another amazing work from subsequence. Every time I read the part where Jaebum swats at Jinyoung’s dick, I just can't stop laughing. :’DD♡♡♡♡

*M - Human Nature by cutiepiemarkeu

Summary: Jaebum accidentally summons an incubus and his boyfriend Jinyoung walks in on the two of them almost getting their freak on. Arguments ensue and JJProject are stuck with an incubus they can’t get rid of - but how do they deal with his attractiveness and the overwhelming urge to have sex with him?

Review: This is a 3-some featuring Mark. But the smut is so good, honestly. Really worth the read. ♡♡♡♡♡

Mark / Jackson

* The Prince Who Never Laughed by seitsemannen

Summary: Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, lived a beautiful and kind prince named Mark, who after his mother's loss never laughed again. That was until he met the brightly smiling apprentice of a glassblower, Jackson Wang.

Review: Such a great and quality fic! Honestly, this was such a good read I can only recommend it! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* Twist by KingJackson

Summary: Mark knows Jinyoung. Jinyoung knows Jackson. Jackson hooks up with Jinyoung who also hooks up with Mark. Mark goes to hook up with Jinyoung and ends up also sleeping with Jackson. Jackson sometimes hooks up with Jaebum, but that isn’t important right now.

And they say romance is dead.

Review: All right so this fic is one hell of a mess, but a mess sent straight from heaven! The main pairing is Markson and Markjin (it's complicated) but there's end game Markson and JJP, plus Jackson is an angel sent from heaven in this one! Don't let the pairing discourage from reading this gem! ♡

* Private Show by Got7hearts

Summary: Mark likes to put on a show and Jackson loves to watch until he's been caught.

Review: A+ smut.

* M - lapis lazuli by gotchick

Summary: in which mark is a businessman and jackson is a fencer.

Review: great fic with rich kinda arrogant but kinda insecure mark plus lots of smut!

* M - Playhouse by seitsemannen

Summary: All sorts of rumours surround the handsome Wang heir and the good-looking servants of his household, but no one seemed to know for sure, as no matter the price, the members were not willing to give the secrets of their Master up.

Mark doesn't care for celebrities or rumours, except the one that says the Wang household pays several times more than the usual servant's salary, so when there's a job opening at the House, he goes for it. In the days and weeks spent at the House, Mark gets to know the members and finds out what of the ludicrous rumours were true and what weren’t. What he did not know to expect, however, is how good friends he would become with the other members of the House, and what’s worse, that he would fall in love with Jackson Wang.

Review: THE BEST. Multiple pairing but mostly Markson. Still ongoing but sooooo worth the read. also, long af. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* never felt clean, your timing was perfect by jflawless

Summary: i. jackson is five years old when he’s convinced he’s discovered the secret to love. it’s not much of a secret, he thinks, watching his parents exchange blatant “i love you”s only to quietly prove it later in subtle actions.

you like someone. you’re nice to them. they like you too. it’s the simplest thing he’ll ever do, he thinks, falling in love. a lot easier than tying his shoes or adding double digits or reading without his mom there to pronounce the really long words.

Jaebum / Jackson

* Just Smile Again by riots

Summary: Jackson's been lowkey nursing this crush for years, but he never meant for Jaebum to ever find out. Mark and Jinyoung have other ideas. Also, they're terrible friends.

* Face by jibootyjimin

Summary: @defsoul has started following @jiaerwang

--

(or an Instagram au in which famous Chinese rapper Jackson Wang acts like a complete fanboy over idol singer Im Jaebum)

Review: ♡♡

*Secret Little Rendezvous by seikou

Summary: "It's all fun and games until your favorite idol notices you."

(or: Im Jaebum is an Idol and Jackson Wang is a Fanboy.)

Review: ♡♡

* Fluffy Tales by wildandsexy

Summary: Jackson Wang’s Definitive List of Things Im Jaebum, Roommate, Cat Hybrid and Grump Extraordinaire Does and Does Not Like:

DOES LIKE: • Hoodies • The one table on the library’s second floor by the big window (direct sunlight all morning) (it’s basically heaven on Earth) • Nap time (usually at 11am) (and 12pm) (and 1pm) (and 2pm) (and 3pm)…

DOES NOT LIKE: • Waking up • Being awake in general • Not being asleep • Jackson Wang

Jackson Wang's new roommate doesn't even hate him. He 'nothings' him. And that's just something that Jackson can't live with.

Review: SO GOOD SO CUTE JAEBOM IS ADORABLE BUT GRUMPY AND JACKSON IS TRYING HIS BEST ♡♡♡♡♡♡

#wow this is already so long #and theres so much more to come #got7 #got7 jinyoung #got7 jb #got7 jaebum #got7 mark #got7 bambam #got7 yuygeom #got7 jackson #got7 youngjae #got7 fic #got7 fic rec #got7 fics rec #jjp #jj project #markjin #jackbum #markson #got7 ships #jjp parents #fic rec #m

[ilikeyouxactually]

Tease Me

First Shyland fic ever, I was bored at work and I got sudden inspiration to write for the first time in forever about your fave YouTube couple, enjoy <33

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16632836

Summary: Saw this as a prompt on tumblr; one character is trying to participate in no nut November, and the other tries to get them to cave. 

Or, Shane made a dumb bet with Garrett and now Ryland is going to tease him endlessly.

To say Shane wanted to explode, was an understatement. He quite literally wanted to explode in every single way imaginable. It had been two weeks since the last time he and Ryland had sex, and he couldn’t take it anymore. Not with the way Ryland was flaunting around the house in those short shorts and yoga pants, and always seeming to accidentally brush against him and make Shane squirm. But there was no fucking way Shane was losing this bet. It really was stupid. During some drunk conversation with Garrett that Shane barely even remembers, Garrett had made some comment about how he wouldn’t have to worry about losing “No Nut November” seeing how he was single. So, drunk Shane’s mind decided it was a good idea to challenge Garrett to that, and that the loser would have to buy the winner Chipotle for a month. Sober Shane is now hating drunk Shane. Because the stupidity he felt having to go home to tell Ryland “hey no sex because I’m in a bet with Garrett for No Nut November” was far greater than anything else he had ever experienced. “Shane you realize we’re dating,” Ryland argued instantly. Shane tried to explain himself, even tried calling off the bet with Garrett, but the man refused. “Yeah, you can quit,” Garrett had said, “but you’re buying my Chipotle for a month if you do.” Shane couldn’t accept being a loser, especially when Chipotle was involved. So all he had to do was not have sex for a month, how hard could it really be? Turns out, it was extremely hard. Not having sex was hard, too. The first few days were okay. Ryland was being more stubborn than anything and just ignored Shane as much as he could, occasionally grumbling “stupid bet,” as he walked past Shane. But towards the end of the first week, Ryland decided enough was enough and he was done not having sex. Or at least, if Shane really wasn’t going to have sex with him, he would just tease him to no end until Shane finally caved.

One evening, Shane was in his office editing a video, the only light in the room was the bright display coming from his laptop. A soft blanket was draped around his shoulders like a shawl, a coffee cup in hand. It was late enough where Ryland should have been sleeping. He was typically an early sleeper as he had to wake up early. But not tonight. Ryland had made his way into the office, creeping up from behind Shane, he carefully wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck, pressing his cheek to Shane’s. “Hey,” Ryland cooed, pressing a soft kiss to Shane’s jaw. Shane nearly jumped, taken aback by Ryland even being up. “Jesus...” he chuckled, “you scared me half to death. What are you doing up at this time?” With a steady hand, he set down his coffee to hold onto Ryland’s arm. “Couldn’t sleep,” Ryland replied, his voice just raspy enough to make him sound as if he were actually tired. “Why don’t you come to bed,” he trailed off, pressing a harder kiss to Shane’s jaw, making the older man’s eyes flutter shut and mouth drop open at his lover’s touch. “Please.” Ryland wasn’t asking, he trailed a hand down Shane’s chest, creeping down towards his waistline. “Ryland—I—” Shane tried to form the words but it was almost impossible. “Can’t...” he cried softly, mentally kicking his own ass for agreeing to this bet. Ryland’s touches were getting harder and harder to ignore. “Please daddy,” Ryland whispered against Shane’s ear, biting back a smile knowing how much Shane loved being called daddy. Shane let out a low groan, muttering “fuck” as he bit his lip. Shane quickly spun the office chair, pulling Ryland down onto his lap and crashing their mouths together in a messy kiss. It was as if it were their last kiss, and Shane needed to memorize every inch of Ryland’s mouth. Ryland whimpered against those hot lips, his fingers making their way into Shane’s hair, tugging desperately at his brunette locks. Shane couldn’t help but shudder against Ryland, pulling his boyfriend against his body, needing to feel every bit of him. Right as Shane started to slip his fingers under the band of Ryland’s sweats, the former stood up instantly. “Oh no you don’t, mister!” Ryland exclaimed, pointing a finger into Shane’s face. “You started this whole ‘No Nut November’ bullcrap, so you can deal with a little teasing, but that’s all you’re getting!” He turned on his heel and sauntered out of the room, being sure to put an extra sway in his hips, there was no doubt Shane would be staring.

As the following days passed, Shane grew more and more irritable. Ryland would tease him every chance he got, and would try to act so innocent, as if he had no idea what he was putting Shane through. It was taking every ounce of Shane’s strength to not devour Ryland every possible moment. He was taking a break from editing, catching up on watching some YouTube when his phone went off—it was a text from Garrett. Garrett: so do you give up yet? Shane couldn’t help the groan that rolled from his lips. Did everyone really have that little faith in him? Shane: fyi, no I don’t give up. This queen is not about to spend a dime on your peasant ass. He pressed send, then threw his phone to the other side of the couch. He was not about to let Garrett win this stupid bet. With a sigh, he hurled himself off the couch and headed upstairs to his bedroom. Perhaps he just needed a nap to clear his head.

Shane didn’t know how long he had slept for, half hour, couple hours, he had no idea. But what he did know was when he awoke, a sleeping Ryland was tucked perfectly against him in the little spoon position. At first, Shane smiled, loving the actual closeness he could feel for a moment with his boyfriend without having to deal with more incessant teasing. Just as the thought occurred, Ryland shifted. His back arched as he pressed his ass against Shane, making the older mans breath hitch abruptly. Shane gently squeezed Ryland’s waist, trying to subtly pull him back and make him rub against him again. Shane could feel his dick growing harder, making him bite his lip. Ryland shifted once again, his hips making more of a rolling motion as if he were grinding against Shane. “Fuck,” Shane breathed sharply, his nails digging into Ryland’s side. Before he could continue and rock against Ryland again, the supposedly sleeping man turned to face Shane, hooking his leg around the other’s waist. “Hey sleepy head,” Ryland cooed, bringing his hand to caress Shane’s stubbly face. Ryland carefully pressed against Shane, touching his forehead to his boyfriend’s. Shane couldn’t help but shudder under Ryland’s touch, he was just so warm and cozy, and the way his voice was all raspy from just waking up—fuck. “Ryland—” But there were no words to follow. Shane grabbed Ryland’s face and crashed their lips together in a deep, hungry kiss. Shane tugged on Ryland’s bottom lip, rolling it slowly between his teeth before slipping his tongue into the other’s mouth. Ryland hummed against the kiss, twirling his fingers into Shane’s hair. Their hips rolled against each other sloppily without any coordination as they were both desperate to feel one another. Ryland’s hand wandered down to Shane’s waist, fingers carefully playing with the waistband on his pants. He pulled away from the kiss, making Shane groan with disapproval. “So what do you say you forget this stupid bet and fuck me already?” Ryland asked huskily. Shane could only smile in response, hungrily going back for another kiss.

Shane and Ryland lay together, legs entangled as they both stared at the ceiling. Sweat beaded over both their names bodies, and the only sound were their pants as they tried to catch their breath. “Maybe we should not have sex more often, that was fucking amazing,” Ryland smiled, turning to cuddle against Shane. A chuckle escaped Shane’s lips as he grabbed his phone from the bedside table. “Whatcha doing?” Ryland asked, but didn’t get a response as Shane held the phone to his ear. “Hey Garrett—yeah, it’s me—so, what do you want from Chipotle?”

#jess writes #my fics #shyland #shyland fanfic #shane dawson #ryland adams #im such trash #god I missed writing

[kinixuki]

Answers for the “Questions about creating your ocs” thing, as a read more because it got REALLY LONG. There’s some AU rambling too because why not. The first time a character gets mentioned their name should be a link to their tumblr tag, just to keep track of who’s who because there’s a lot of them :v

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? 

Kal – Kal came from a dream I had, he was an angry guy with muscles and 0 chill (this never really changed), I think the first conscious thing I did myself was trying to make a small backstory for the dream because I felt pretty strongly about it. I tried to get the look down at the same time but my drawing skills were terrible at that time, so the backstory got more attention. And then it turned into Fisher along with some other dreams I had!

Umbrella – Umbrella is originally from a dream as well, a different one but it had Kal in it too, so it tried to fit it into the story.

Shetla – she happened when I started writing shamans (which had no plan at all at first), I needed someone who would talk with Kwiri so I made her

Oqooto – Oqooto was born as random fish kid for a small comic, so they got a bit of backstory and appearance for the comic. I liked what came out of it and kept thinking about them :>

2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Moru – I want to say Ishke, but other than trying to not have them look too similar not really. Maybe Yixi the bird, Moru used to have a hood with a nest, now she has falconry equipment.

3. How did you choose their name? 

Kal – playing with random letters, after he was nameless for a year or two. I think I first wrote it down into a German textbook when I was bored during a class :v His name is also one of the Czech words for mud, which I didn’t realize for a while, but it fits sort of.

Umbrella – in the dream he came from he was basically a ghost that came out of an umbrella, so he got to keep it, both as an object and as a name, because it sounded silly and he’s weird. It’s more of a nickname in the actual story, he so old that no one remembers his name and telling people would spoil the fun for him, and because he always carries the umbrella with him it’s how a lot of people refer to him.

Teeku – playing with random letters again. I think his name just popped into my head when I was writing and was like “hey, this shaman guy needs a name”. I wish this happened more often, I’m terrible with making names :l

Bronze – I had hard time understanding how naming characters with actual words one can understand works, so I tried it myself with Bronze. I don’t remember why I picked that anymore, but it had something to do with him being Fisher and Narya being gold in my head.

Oqooto – I think I saw something close to that in random word generator? It looked super weird, but also felt like an instant fit after like a year of not knowing what name I want.

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts? 

Oqooto – it’s mostly based on the comic idea I had – a kid living in marshes that goes fishing, then I expanded from that. It’s technically part of Ishke’s world, but I haven’t really connected those two yet. There’s a lot of spirits in that world though, so after a bit Oqooto turned into something that’s closer to a shaman/medium than just a fish kid.

5. Is there any significance behind their hair color?

Narya – for a long time there wasn‘t, other than me thinking it’s nice, but now it’s an ethnicity thing along with the ashy skin color. I’ve been playing with the idea of that being the sign of a pureblood Fisher, but it makes some story mess with how easily they would be identifiable in the city. So it might be more general group of people, but still with them being known for their Fishers being crazy good. Bronze is another of those people, but not really directly related to Narya, despite the appearance. Most of them live in the forests outside of the city.

9. Are they based off of you, in some way?

Kwiri – ummmm yes a bit…. I started writing his story as an angsty teen with zero friends, and having a character dealing with similar problems felt nice because hey, finally a friend. It wasn’t really a conscious thing like “it’s me, but in another world”, just a character I wanted to understand and write well. After a while of writing I was probably more based off him than the other way around to be honest. For some reason Kwiri is also pretty close to how I look irl though, which wasn’t intentional at all xD

10. If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? 

Moru – I wanted her and Ishke to have fun together, so they’re both kinda rebellious, but Moru is still there to explain all the human and social stuff to Ishke. She doesn’t understand much either, but almost anything is better at it than Ishke. And she gets to learn about spirits/forest from him!

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 

Kal – other than waiting few years for a name he’s tricky to draw for me, first he was the muscle guy when I didn’t know how to draw muscles at all, now it’s drawing him properly during fights and all the cool action scenes. He’s surprisingly easy to write to though.

Umbrella –having him not turn the entire plot upside down. I changed the entire thing at least three times because of him, he’s always been one of the major characters but having him fit into the story in a way that worked well was hard. He’s hard to write as well, it’s easy to get carried away and turn him into the carefully planning villain stereotype because most of his role in the story is watching from behind the scenes, but he’s supposed to be super chaotic. Well thought out plans are literally the last thing he would do.

Moru – I am. Really bad. With female characters. Guys? Cool. Nbs? Super cool. Girls??? Seriously I made her to have a girl character I would be comfortable with, it’s still not 100% it and I still don’t know what to do with her, so probably that. She needed over 5 years for a name too.

13. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

Shamans – I wrote down a short story about how some late story events turned out differently and keep thinking about a lot of what ifs. Then I have a lot of things from when Teeku was younger figured out, some of them are important, some of them are just fun to think about, most of them don’t get enough space in the actual story though.

Then there’s several AUs, including one where Teeku is a grumpy farmer with an old smelly tractor and a straw hat. Kirta hates him there because of the hat, he’s a rich farm guy and has been looking for The Perfect Straw Hat™ for months. When he finally saw it across the street and fell in love, Teeku came and bought the first straw hat he saw, which was this one. There’s also a modern AU where Teeku owns a tearoom and his visitors are my and Sari’s characters from the other stories. There’s a lot of fun stuff happening there and it has quite a bit of stuff thought out, I wanted to draw some of it during the summer but didn’t get to it D:

Bronze – I have a ton of stuff from when Bronze was younger and didn’t live in the city, but that’s deep in the spoiler territory. In the tearoom AU he lives in Umbrella’s flat and works in his sushi restaurant, but kind of wishes he didn’t, especially when Umbrella (who despite owning the flat doesn’t really live there) decides to visit, eat every single thing in the fridge and then talk about all sorts of vaguely illegal stuff Bronze doesn’t really want to hear about before leaving again.

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? 

Isidor (the grandmaster of the Order who has no tag atm) – he’s elegant as heck, and his behavior is kinda human but also not really, he’s young for what he is but he doesn’t age/die naturally and is already older than normal humans get, so he’s pretty detached.

15. What is something about your OC can make you laugh?

Siva – okay so. At one point a friend asked what kind of food they eat in the Fisher universe. Part of the reply was that they also probably have some of the food we have here, like schnitzel. And the friend asked something like “so there’s gonna be someone coming to Siva and asking ‘Hey Siva, do you want some more schnitzel?’”. It’s Siva’s fave food now, because he’s a super srs person and this totally doesn’t sound super silly.

ALSO THE TEAROOM AU, Siva is a head doctor of a local hospital and Narya is a student with training there and Siva overseeing it. They don’t really like each other, it’s the same as the canon story. They both visit Teeku’s tearoom though, Narya because he either has a part time job there few days a month or just uses that as a study place, and Siva because he’s a tea connoisseur and Teeku’s tearoom is the best tearoom in the city when it comes to tea quality, but there aren’t many visitors because Teeku is super grumpy.

So Narya and Siva sometimes meet there. Siva comes in a pretty bad mood, because “this one student was supposed to do all this work at night and he didn’t and just kept talking back, I need some good tea to drink”. 5 mins later, Narya comes late for his shift, because “this one idiot doctor wanted me to do all this stuff at night, can you even believe it what a jerk, I didn’t even sleep”, and he gets to make Siva’s tea without knowing who is it for and then he brings it to him and they’re both like “YOUUUU”

Minghe – the main idea of his story is that he got stuck with exactly that one person he can’t stand at all (Sheon) and is forced to cooperate. It’s the sad kind of funny.

16. What is something about your OC can make you cry?

Siva – @sariannearies saying bad things about him and wishing terrible things to happen to him >:

Minghe – the fact that I still don’t have a single colored artwork with him except one speedpaint. He’s one of my faves D:

17. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story? 

Kwiri – I’ve been rewriting his story for years and deleting thing I didn’t like, so not really?

19. What is your favorite fact about your OC?

Kal – he really really REALLY hates Siva, the doctor. It’s mutual, but Siva is way better at hiding it, though he sometimes “accidentally” forgets to give Kal painkillers and so on. Sometimes Kal regrets that he wasn’t successful with what he tried to do at the end of Roommates.

Bronze – he’s super obsessed with being independent, but because of that he ended up as the opposite and it took him forever to realize. With no real way out \o/

Moru – she likes birds. That was unexpected, right?

#REALLY REALLY LONG #i need to draw more things so i can write more things #oc talk is my fave thing #oc ask meme #should i tag the chars here

[wendyimmiller]

Don’t Give Too Much Away Too Soon – A Letter to the Midwest

April 15, 2021

Lovettsville VA

Dear Scott,

Spring! Etc. etc.

What a relief.  I am torn between feeling overwhelmed each morning, and tearful gratitude. However, finding a new colony of native may apples where I winter-dispatched a thicket of multiflora rose may have soundly tipped the scales towards gratitude. Those mottled, delicate umbrellas took me by total surprise this morning – especially as they appeared to have been professionally underplanted with a carpet of claytonia.

Try not to pay attention to the honeysuckle. It’s a never ending battle.

Isn’t it ridiculous that I can hunt for, locate, plant, and cosset a Podophyllum pleianthum (which is now tentatively emerging near the front door), but when I rip out brambles by the roots and trample the soil to within an inch of its life, suddenly I’ve got April at Mt. Cuba happening on my northern slope?  Perhaps I should give up all future expensive podophyllum acquisition dreams and just focus on what I’m apparently good at: editing. 

My cossetted P. pleianthum – making a late-ish entrance to a party well underway.

I find it fascinating that each spring unfolds with its own unique rhythm – some mellow, others not so. This spring’s rhythm reminds me of an underground prohibition-era bar in NYC I used to visit when I was younger and less protective of my sleep patterns: slow build-up, exciting jazz riffs, a little blues, and no punishing jazz fusion. There has also been plenty of opportunity to sip a top-shelf G&T.  All in all, worth lingering a while in the evenings and ordering a second.

Along with the common-as-dirt may apples I attach a few poor photos of my rapidly growing epimedium collection (minus my two faves – ‘Amber Queen’ and ‘Pink Champagne’ which are just coming out). Watching these delicate flowers emerge thrills me in that same way I used to bemusedly observe in other (more obviously nerdy) plant nerds.

This one was given to me as ‘Lilac Seedling’ from John Willis.

How we find ourselves where we find ourselves I honestly do not know. I was normal once. I assume that, to a certain extent, you were too. Yet here we are, sharing photos of epimedium, claytonia and hellebore while the rest of the world is buying a new Weber and three sacks of Weed and Feed.

Epimedium x versicolor ‘Sulphureum’ is my cheapest and most cheerful. When it is regularly dug and divided you can have a huge carpet rather quickly.

I enjoyed your Easter letter and its tasteless but nonetheless amusing resurrection analogies; but I harbor concerns that illustrating your gargantuan, drain-digging labors in such Kafkaesque detail could be very off-putting for the 20+ million who garden-dabbled in 2020.

I’m not trying to tell you how to do your job as an award-winning garden writer (groan) and purveyor of unending green happiness, but perhaps these people shouldn’t be made so soon aware of the inexorable, destructive effects of the humble water droplet?

Maybe it’s not an issue as 19+ million of them are probably reading The Spruce and haven’t yet moved on to the Rant portion of their gardening lives, but for those who have read ahead in the curriculum, truth of such magnitude could shake a few foundations. And damn that was some serious truth.

We only have these people by the finest of hairs Scott. Right now you should be YouTubing the immeasurable joys of seed starting with a fixed, but generous, smile upon your face and a sponsored product somewhere within arms’ reach.  Let these sweet innocents find out about water, and its revengeful, spiteful nature later in the process when there is no escape from the gardening life they have worthily embraced.  They can learn about roots then too.

Bait and switch my dear. Bait and switch.

This is a sweet little epimedium given to me by Lindie Wilson in Charlotte last year. Glad to see it blooming.

However, as the damage is now done, I will admit that for the rest of us, it is a relief to hear of your suffering. Moreover, it is a relief to hear of you jumping into a job of that magnitude.  I wonder how many others are daily tortured not so much by the undertaking of large home and garden projects, but by their identification and the accompanying dread of them.  I can instantly think of three projects that sink the heart in me, and that’s without trying.

Once stuck in, there are moments of pure despair (as you so richly illustrated), but there is also the knowledge that, for better or worse, you got started.   It’s happening. What is worth worrying about must be solved, and what isn’t disappears into that dark and dangerous place one only visits at 2am (instead of that underground bar – sadly).  All of the ambiguity and worry about the particulars is crystallized into certainty. 

Cannot remember where this one came from – and no name sadly – but it is a lovely orange flower paired with a rather boring leaf.

I wish you luck and less in the way of roots. If this letter had an envelope, I’d slip you one of my precious lidocaine patches – or is that technically drug dealing?

With regards to roots, I have spent much of the last three weeks moving shrubs which are too big for the space where I planted them seven years ago, to spaces which will be too small for them in seven years. 

An SI joint and my lower back have been so dodgy for the last year that I am forced to do this wearing a constricting belt that limits my ability to move without cutting off circulation to a major artery.  The resulting lightheadedness then limits my ability to make better decisions about spacing – or at least that’s how I will look at it in seven years’ time.

It is a blow to one’s vanity to look down and see such a contraption strapped around comfortable and generous sweatpants where levis and leather belts with bronze buckles once dwelt, but if it gets the itea shifted and the lilac finally scrubbed out, I must accept my personal new normal while I undertake a hideous strengthening program that is right, and good, and boring as hell.

Speaking of itea and lilac, one mistake I am never (yes, I use that word precisely) making again is to put a heavily suckering woody shrub anywhere other than an area where I am happy to have it sucker (such as along my streambank).

This cuts down on a lot of options for mixed borders – but there are plenty of less enthusiastic shrubs whose rarer suckers still excite the frugal wench within me.  Runners from my rugosa roses for example. I never grumble as they provide cheap, cheerful, and exceedingly welcome gifts for new gardeners who have never attempted to prune one.

Look at this lovely thing – Iris bucharia blooming this morning through the little gray rosettes of pilosella.

The lilac wasn’t my doing – it was here when we moved, and I have held onto it for sentimental reasons as I had a fondness for the previous owners, Lloyd & Jeanne.  I even called it Lloyd’s lilac, when the truth of the matter is that Lloyd probably didn’t plant it, and if he did, didn’t put any more thought into it than what he was having for dinner that night.  Still, it was one of few cultivated plants on the property, and I felt I must nurture it, renovate it, and tactfully avert my eyes as it became more matronly and less maiden-like.

I trust you will offer me the same consideration when we next meet.

But this is the year. Strengthened by Dan Hinkley’s admonition in Windcliff not to plant a “meaningless blob of nothing to fill a gap” and extrapolating from there to include eradicating those inherited monsters that do the same, I decided to take it out. With my handy battery-operated chainsaw it was the work of an Ibruprofen-laced moment, but now I am faced with this large stump complex. And my back. And another one of those large digging jobs whose contemplation brings me full circle to my points above. 

Yet the job must be done. The space is slated for a Chamaecyparis obtusa that has gracefully grown too large for its current spot. In my defense I always knew it would, but wanted it where it was for that gorgeous five-year window of perfect height. You are a lover of trees so I know you know exactly what I am talking about.  Trees go from small-and-helpless, to perfect, to too-damn-big the same way as children do – though thankfully they don’t have adolescent mouths on them.  

Lastly, with the exception of the bananas, the tropicals are out of the garage and into hacked-together temporary cold frames for the next couple weeks. The spring has crept up on me quickly this year. And with the vegetable/kitchen garden undergoing a major re-do which will most likely take all season, I have not started seeds as I normally would. 

It is exceptionally freeing and I highly recommend it. 

I cannot get enough of this time of year once the claytonia start blooming. They are absolutely everywhere.

I have started many thousands of seeds over the years and I’m sure there are thousands more in my future, but I realize these days that I actually prefer the excitement of cuttings.  It’s ironic to get excited about asexual techniques, but there you go, that’s middle age for you. Are you a seeds or a cuttings man do you think? You may answer freely – I promise that I won’t draw any moral conclusions (at least consciously).

Here is an unusual one (at least for around here) that sports pink flowers, rather than just pink veining and pink pollen.

I must stop before some horrible dystopian software alerts you that this letter is more than a “four minute read,” (thank God Tolkien and Tolstoy weren’t bloggers), but before I do, I can assure you that, yes, the word used to describe you in that email was indeed ‘treasure.’ The term has even been repeated and shared on Facebook, and therefore cannot possibly be considered misinformation, as apparently, they’ve got that sort of thing squarely locked down.

However, before you alert various media companies, shamelessly looking for yet another award (and you wonder why someone at work is being mean to you), I will pass on a wise bit of advice that I heard recently:

If you don’t let compliments go to your head, insults cannot pierce your heart. 

Wise indeed as there is usually a hefty supply of the latter to negotiate in this life.

Yours,

Marianne

P.S.  Please tell Michele she looked beautiful in that dress. Easter personified.

P.P.S.  My long overdue author copies of Tropical Plants and How to Love Them finally arrived today!              It’s a treasure. Possibly award-winning.

Don’t Give Too Much Away Too Soon – A Letter to the Midwest originally appeared on GardenRant on April 15, 2021.

The post Don’t Give Too Much Away Too Soon – A Letter to the Midwest appeared first on GardenRant.

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