I think everyone needs to see this.
For context this was me after purgatory finale as a bolas/philza watcher.
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guys remember how insane I was about gavroche in 2020-2021? that part of my life haunts me behind the eyes.
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it is kind of crazy that i still miss cigs even tho ive literally had maybe ..10 total and havent had one in 3 months? like i cannot fathom the extent of a fullblown addiction and its probably good that my gf stopped me
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rae runaway arc. 4 million dead. hundereds injured
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Lana del ray my number 1 artist cinnamon girl my number 1 song
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rewatching the videos of myself going through it while reading the end of ahb and here are some quotes (i'm crying through all of them)
"i never read things without a happy ending, i never do, this is why"
"i can't even wipe away my tears because my whole face and hands are covered in them"
"i want orange muffins and i want to visit a museum, and i want *sobs* i want tea! and i want- *more sobs*"
"fuck tom riddle. fuck him so fucking much. i would fucking drown him in this shower if i could, if he wasn't already fucking dead."
"ok, i think i've calmed down, and that is gonna go away as soon as i start the next chapter but- okay, *deep breath* 'it's time for sorrow,' that's the name of the next chapter, SORROW"
"death is one thing but grief is a whole nother thing. it's so much worse. and it's an empty feeling."
"i love marlene, that's really the only thing" (me reading the funeral and trying to stay positive)
"i need cherry ice cream. i need cherry ice cream right now"
"i can't handle it. but i need to! for closure"
"i want [them] back, i want [them] back. [their] absence is so present" (replaced the pronouns to avoid spoilers)
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The way I almost unalived myself with this bleach
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how do you come back to texting with a friend after not responding for a week
“hi sorry i died i was having a mental breakdown” ?
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