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#i was gonna make a vent post abt smth but now i'm like
henriiiii-1001 · 3 months
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NEW BLOG!
hey there! new account because i felt i needed a fresh start. i will keep my old blog up because i'm gonna need it for archival purposes.
im henry/thatcher, im an adult, they/it/he/xe prns. nice to meet you
(NOTE: i am thinking of dropping thatcher, but im keeping it for now bc i like it. however, only using henry to refer to me is ok for now)
im an artist and a writer, mostly focusing on aus and oc stories. i also have an instagram and an ao3 (both henriiiii_1001)
current interests: - internet horror (analog, digital, etc) - ruby ru amenalism (newer series, highly recommend!) - vita carnis - cabin tales - twf - etc... - vocaloid - pjsk (stats) - ocs - murder files/殺人ファイルズ (blog here) - unholy gift (will post info soon) - repurposed fairy tale au (will post info soon)
tag navigation: #posts - general post tag #interview box - answers to asks #tumblr polls - tumblr polls i host/rb #shitpost - as name implies #creative - art tag #almost creative - wip tag (mostly seen on my wip blog) #a bit rambly - ramblings, usually abt au stuff #a2t - meaning "ask to tag", signifies that i'm ok w ppl letting me know if i need to tag smth #upset posts - vent/rant (will more likely be used for rants) #[media name here] - indicates which media i am making a post abt. goes with characters as well #delete later(?) - posts i will (most likely) delete eventually #[insert trigger/warning here] trigger/warning - my trigger tag. is not used for certain things like eye contact and eyestrain. feel free to ask me abt this for clarification tho
askbox usage: please don't use it as grounds for rambling abt your ocs, aus, etc. it is mostly restricted to asking questions about my content (aus, ocs, etc.), myself, and ask games
im a college student now, so i wont post very often. please be patient with me.
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daz4i · 1 month
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ok ok rather than make a bunch of annoying vent posts i'm just gonna put everything on my mind all in one post to let it out 🔥 you absolutely do not need to read this, this is honestly so ridiculously long. my brain better feel clean for like at least 2 days after this fr
i knew i was gonna crash after this week and i think this is it 🥲 i was so tense for literally a whole week (even more tbh, bc i was preemptively scared of how much i have to do too) and i think the adrenaline drop kicked in after the peak of this one (aka being in a big social event. haven't been to one of those in literal years)
also. my parents have been sick this week and i think i maybe have contracted it too? 😭 if that is indeed the case it literally kicked in in the last like hour of the event, i was perfectly fine beforehand bc i avoided being in the same closed space as them when i could (aka kept my distance or made sure windows were open around me all the time jic). bc suddenly my whole body hurts like it hasn't in a long while. tho that might be the adrenaline crash too who knows 🥲 ig i'll see how i feel when i wake up
i have not been creative in awhile and i can feel my brain drowning in gunk lol. technically i tried writing songs a couple of times lately but they came out so bad i can't finish them. or anything. and i feel like shit abt failing to create literally anything. and i keep seeing people be creative and make so much or sharing their work fearlessly and it's always so much better than mine too that i'm burning with jealousy that i can't turn off (and can't channel into my own creation bc well. it comes out shitty! so the cycle not only continues but in fact gets worse each time). every time someone tells me i'm good it feels like they're lying to make me feel better or bc they love me so they're. biased and see everything i make as good bc it's me, so i can't count that. every time *i* feel like smth i made is good there's some glaring imperfection i don't know how to iron out so i start hating the whole piece. i don't know how to become better when every time i try to practice i end up wanting to claw my own eyes out as punishment for being so talentless and dumb
(the dumb thing too is. oh my god this is gonna sound so silly but. i try to make myself feel better by solving puzzles or trivia or riddles etc bc these are things i'm usually good at. but lately i can't be proud of myself for succeeding at any of them, and i keep beating myself harder for every time i fail or don't do as well as i used to, bc it feels like i'm failing at the only thing i'm supposed to be good at. also i just generally keep doing stupid things lately esp when it comes to my time management or taking care of my body in various ways, i keep forgetting things which is smth i almost never do, i struggle to get through conversations with others bc i trip over my words or make mistakes constantly, generally i'm just being stupid in various ways)
right now i am. so anxious. about so many things. here let me just make it into a list starting with very small to. probably still small but it feels big to me
1. this is so silly but. i am literally too tired to put small earrings back in after changing them to long one for the party. and i'm scared the holes will close up in my sleep. but this is literally so much work 💔 idk if the holes haven't healed properly or if i'm using the wrong metal so i keep getting infections bc it's been A While (two years. apparently. maybe more??) and they haven't healed yet. like i said a silly thing to get stressed over but i am. very tense
2. i don't know. if the people i knew in the party actually didn't recognize me or if they ignored me on purpose. bc i stood next to some of them while my besties were talking to them too and they didn't even say hi (or like introduced themselves the way others that i didn't know have done). one of them was literally my bestie for a good few months a few years ago and even tho i grew a beard i. don't think i changed THAT much??? also i don't think it's hard to make the connection abt who i am given how tight this community is. someone i haven't talked to since like 2015 bc we had beef recognized me even. so how come they didn't. i met one in a con recently and she did recognize me so. h. did i do something wrong. did someone say smth bad about me. i don't know i don't understand social rules enough to figure it out 😭
3. this is another thing abt that tbh 🥲 while it was very fun and a super cool event, it did remind me very painfully of why my social anxiety is so bad 😭 i felt like i made 10 social errors per minute. i didn't know what to say half the time so i just smiled or laughed and i think that made me seem creepy idk. a lot of people were very nice and i think i did mostly fine with them but also maybe not. idk. i am definitely overthinking things but what if i'm right. it's not that out of the question. i am known to fail social interactions there's a reason why i do my best to avoid them
4. and this is kinda bringing me to a thing i have on my mind a lot recently. bc i'm doing the recovery thing. and a lot of people - friends family and professionals who help me there - tell me i am capable of more than i think or admit. and i get WHY they think that bc i *am* doing a lot compared to the literal nothing i've been up to for years. but i am very much pushing outside my limits, which is why i'm constantly feeling like shit lately i think (not that i was doing great before but. yeah). it probably seems mostly effortless bc i just do them without beating much around the bush but that's only when i mentally prepare myself days or even weeks ahead (for reference, i'm talking about things like. being in public. or taking a bus). or the work i do for projects that... honestly idk how i'm doing that either. i am the laziest person ever and i have no ability to concentrate yet i managed to sit down and do work and do it well and learn text by heart and research and write for hours and ??? it does not feel like myself. but it also kinda does bc i need to very forcefully push myself into it and berate myself for hours until i actually get up to do anything so. it's not smth that comes naturally to me. i don't consider myself capable of things. i'm just very good at pretending i'm unbothered (up until i start crying uncontrollably at least lol) so ppl think i am. unfortunately. bc then they expect me to do more. or they pressure me into it then get disappointed when i can't do it (ig that's the core of it for me... i don't want anyone to develop expectations about me, bc i know i won't be able to meet them, at least not long term. so i insist i can't do anything, bc sometimes - often - i really really can't. i don't wanna be judged by my best. feels false to even call it that tbh. but that's bc it's so rare, it's the best for a reason, the absolute peak i can get to, as pathetic as it is. bc the problem is, when this is already beyond my limits, i literally can't go further, but that's what they want me to do 💔)
5. god. this is also a small thing probably but the accidental lie i mentioned. for context i am giving a lecture abt p5's mythology in the next con, that's the thing i was working on lately. anyway when i signed up i gave background information about myself, and to make myself sound more fitting for the job i said that i learned the topic in [university that specializes in said topic] bc i did - just. 2 classes. that's it. i was telling the truth there, technically (most of my knowledge on the topic comes from independent research, but the classes i took did help with that too, as in i knew where to look for info and things to look out for) (also for reference i'm gonna be fr. i did not finish these classes. social anxiety got to me and i was scared to go to anything outside zoom lessons which weren't an option anymore unfortunately)
ANYWAY when they told me i got in they sent me a "revised" bio which was just what i originally sent them, so i said okay. but now the whole thingie was posted and i can see my bio there and. they said i graduated from [uni] and used language that implies i have a degree in it, probably to make me sound more credible, but it's not true!!!! 😭😭😭 the thing i said was definitely embellishment but it WAS true enough that if asked directly about it i could spin it somehow ("oh i haven't finished yet" "yeah i took a couple of classes when i could to enrich my knowledge") but this. makes it so much harder
chances are i won't be asked bc why would anyone ask abt that. but ever since i started writing the script i was so stressed about people calling me out for being wrong abt info, so i even added a disclaimer of "these are old texts that have many versions that vary according to location or were changed with time uwu if you know a different version of this story that's probably why uwu" and "due to the time constraint i'm giving a very simplified and short version of this topic uwu" bc given that i'm talking a lot abt judaism. to a mainly (or most likely, entirely) jewish audience. it's enough that there is someone who is religious or previously ultra orthodox in the audience that if i make a mistake they could point it out. and then i'll start panicking and lose my train of thought and fuck everything up while i'm already so stressed as is and-
so like i've been super stressed abt all that^ until now but that misinfo in my bio is raising the stakes for me 😭 bc now what if someone who went to this uni and majored in this topic calls me out on never seeing me there. or they can tell the info i'm giving isn't smth that's taught there or isn't the way it's taught there. this is such a specific and unlikely fear but i can't not stress about it because TECHNICALLY it's possible, it COULD happen even if that's not too likely
6. all of this is while i'm also struggling with bureaucracy around that art program i'm signing up to, idk if i'll get in yet or not bc i need some files to be approved and idk if they would, and idk what i'll do if they don't. or what if they do! i'm honestly so scared to start it, idk how i'm gonna go from nothing to waking up early and driving an hour 4 times a week to be active and around people for a few hours. tbh i don't think i can, but also if this gets approved then i have to, so the government's money doesn't get flushed down the toilet bc of me.
7. all this shit has a major impact on my physical health 🥲 not getting into details bc that's def tmi territory but. i'm fighting for my life over a certain stress-caused medical thing for weeks now. only other time i had it was when the war originally started so naturally i was extra stressed then, but like, this is to give you a reference for how majorly stressed i am now. my regular pains are flaring up more often too which makes things harder to handle as well (like, stressing abt not doing enough work, bc i'm literally in too much pain to do anything but lie down. or being scared of the plans i have for the week bc what if these pains catch me when i'm outside or with people. how am i supposed to push through them. what if they catch me when i'm in public and i have to sit down in the middle of the street. what if i'm with people and i'm holding them back from doing smth bc of that. etc etc)
8. ofc all this is happening during the war and i keep seeing things i really don't wanna see from ppl in my country and the west 🥲 and it's like, the mix of guilt over this happening at all, and the frustration over feeling like i have nothing to do about it, and fear about how things are gonna escalate in either direction, and seeing friends from other countries posting things i agree with but can't condone full heartedly bc well. this'll hurt me directly, as selfish as it sounds (tbf, when i say hurt me directly, i'm talking about me and my loved ones' lives being endangered), but also seeing said loved ones talking about things i can't agree with morally, yet can't fully refute either because life is. complicated. i have a lot more to say tbh but i'm too tired to acknowledge every single facet of every single related issue which will open me to a lot of hate so. best to leave it here. unfortunately
idk where to put this. sorry for the sudden topic change. it feels bad to be stressed over that but, there is a guy who i know likes me like a lot. i think i'm like exactly his taste and he's always so excited about seeing or talking to me. one of my besties - or maybe more. idk - really wants us to get together bc tbh it'll probably be good for both of us, and y'all know how desperate i am to be loved lol. but i can't bring myself to like him the way he likes me 💔 he's fun but i have a hard time with one on one interactions so i can't really progress things and tbh, idk if i'm currently in a mindset where i even should, given all that^. also i know for a fact i can't handle an actual relationship, and i'm scared i'll disappoint him or drive him away if i'll be my real unfiltered self, and ik i need to be obsessed with someone to get attached this quickly but i can't force it either. and to put it more directly... i'm perfect for him and his taste, but not the other way around 🥲 (tho tbf idk what my taste even is. i identify as aroace for a reason). i don't wanna string him along but i think i already kind of am 😭 i like him but not as much as he likes me, but what i probably like here even more is the feeling of being liked. and that makes me feel like a dick. i also feel guilty for not liking him the same way ig even tho ik it's stupid bc it's not like i can control it. and yet
so yeah this is. a lot of shit. all at once. both silly and not silly at all. my brain is in constant overload. i get violently suicidal every time i have a moment alone with my thoughts or when i see anything that reminds me of that. bc all this stress makes life feel so impossible - it IS impossible - that i can't handle the thought of it, but half of the things that cause me stress are supposed to be for the purpose of distracting me from how stressful everything is. so. what the fuck am i supposed to do about all that. how am i supposed to live like at all
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halftheway · 1 year
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can i say smth here. and i want to preface by establishing im not trying to start discourse i'm just having complicated thoughts n trying to rubber duck my way thru them. i'll stick it under a readmore just in case but i would like ppl's opinions as long as they are respectful
but i think alongside the phenomena of 'quarantine queers' (ppl who discovered they were queer during lockdown/the still ongoing pandemic) there is something similar going on with autism. i've seen a lot of folks on social media joking about 'probably having autism' but not wanting to unpack that, and i'm far from the person who's gonna police how ppl talk about themselves, but it rubs me the wrong way. to see so many people making jokes about autism and so many posts memifying it online + those posts going viral has made me feel so Weird because i've spent years talking about being autistic irl amd online and it's only ever made people uncomfortable. the way autism is talked about online vs irl is So different and idk. it's been bugging me. sometimes i'll have friends talk abt their habits/traits and when i gently suggest it could be because they're autistic, they always cringe and deny it. over and over it's treated like an Insult when i point out possible autistic signifiers which just Sucks because everyone i say that to knows i'm autistic. in the few cases where people start to accept they might be autistic, it kind of transitions into the 'quarantine queer' phenomena where they start making Being Autistic a whole Thing (and in one case, trying to mansplain stimming to me. this is not a joke). and again, i don't want to police the way anyone behaves or deals with their own lives it just Bothers Me. i know we're not supposed to talk about it being hard because that just adds fuel to the fire of people that want to cure or dismiss us but it has been so hard to be autistic. it's made my life a living hell and to see people who just want to reduce it to Laying On The Floor Time or Being A Little Socially Awkward is. frustrating to say the least. i think part of the issue i take with it is that like with being openly queer for most of my teenage years until now, since i found out i was autistic i've talked about it a lot and have always been met with people being uncomfortable at best. i went through hell for so long and i'm really glad other people might not have to, but it's frustrating to see this almost turned into a meme.
i don't think i have a big overarching point here just wanted to vent a little<3
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symptoms-syndrome · 2 years
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Sex work TW (nothing graphic literally just Discourse and venting abt the way ppl are abt it)
I'm like. Sooo sick and tired of the way sex work is treated by supposedly "woke" queer ppl TBH. Like on Lex or whatever, I see a dozen ads like "I wanna be your sugar baby for a month except I don't want to fuck/send nudes" or whatever and I'm like.
1. I have personal beef around the idea of sugar babies bc every sugaring situation I've ever been part of or witness to has literally been just FSSW with less pay and more emotional labor, literally almost always just so the ppl who do it don't have to label themselves as gross whores like the rest of us but that's a whole diff post)
2. The whole point of sugaring is that you're fostering a relationship. Like it's being a professional girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever. The person on the other end wants to feel loved n valued etc etc that's why they're looking for a sugar baby and not just going to a FSSW. Feel however u wanna feel about that but it's true. If you want smth short term just do FSSW.
But also! You can't really "just do" sex work like. Just like any other entrepreneurial endeavor it takes a lot of work and effort and pushing etc to make money. Even more so now that stuff like OF is more popular and cheaper than ever. I feel like people just think that sex workers are these ppl who just sit back (or lie back LMAO) and get easy money for having fun hookups or taking pics or whatever and you can have as many "respect sex workers" buttons and enamel pins and cute little graphics as you want, but until you acknowledge that it's real actual hard work you're not actually going to be respecting sex workers, just the idea of it.
Like IDK what these ppl think they'll accomplish by having zero pics zero desc of themselves other than "I wanna be a sugar baby DM me" like it just feels so fucking disrespectful to me. Do you really think it's that easy???
Like. I'm sure for SOME people it's easier than others. But like. Even for a conventionally attractive straight woman it's a lot of work. I'm just. IDK! It ties back to a lot of feelings I have abt the way ppl treat sex and ppl who desire sex. As if anyone who desires sex is just itching to get at anyone who offers. Like...ppl have standards and emotional needs n shit. Ppl on Lex aren't gonna pay u $2k a month just to text you. That's insane.
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badcountryofficial · 3 years
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hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh job
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cattles-bians · 3 years
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damie vibecca exes au part 21
post directory
em: viola and becs love their lil hikes
em: oh actually did we already designate hiking as a damie thing
em: hmm.
em: yknow what damie and vibecca can both enjoy their weekend hikes
em: they bring isabel and she’s RUNNING up the path and tires herself out in 10 minutes and rebecca and viola swap out piggybacking her
obsetress: yeah it tracks because they both like fitness and viola likes her walks
obsetress: plus viola's like "it's good for isabel"
em: vibecca power lesbians love the challenging trails and damie just enjoy the sights
obsetress: dani venting to jamie one night: they don't even LIKE hiking, but they still had to do the blackjack loop, and WE won't even do the blackjack loop,
em: dani and her fanny packs... every time she sees isabel on a trail she like
em: stuffs her pockets w granola akdhdkfhdj
em: drives viola NUTS she’s like we packed our Own snacks
obsetress: dani gets SO excited
---
obsetress: man i love these lil gay bitches
obsetress: no but um
obsetress: jamie gets in some fight w rebecca early on after they've reconnected
obsetress: prob about her dating vi tbh
obsetress: and jamie's so put off by the whole thing and is ranting to dani about it and dani's all like "you just need to have better boundaries, jamie, they're her choices, aren't they? not yours"
obsetress: and jamie just stares at her like.........................................
obsetress: "dani, you literally continued hooking up with viola for weeks after you broke up"
"oh, c'mon jamie, it wasn't weeks"
"no?"
"it was months"
em: dani shooting herself in the foot to like. correct jamie is so funny
em: not even ‘no that’s different’ or ‘no i’ve changed’ like ‘actually it was months’
obsetress: she says it w such a lil pleased smile on her face too
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obsetress:
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obsetress: like who the FUCk gave her the right???
obsetress: a whole babe
obsetress: she didn't need to smirk like this
em: god she’s so Hot
obsetress: just think about all the times she and viola get into the banter
obsetress: and this exact face
em: i know we veered dramatically into soft territory w exes au but vi extremely stubborn lloyd and rebecca lawyer do no harm take no shit jessel truly. have some spectacular arguments
obsetress: they have absolute blowouts
obsetress: and then blowouts after the blowouts iywkim
obsetress: like dani's do no harm take no shit but she and vi also enable the SHIT out of each other
em: like dani tried but dani wasnt like. fully baked yet
obsetress: yeah! and then when she finally does and breaks up with her, she's back in her bed a few weeks later
obsetress: rebecca is the first person to not take viola's shit and to tell her no and viola can't fucking stand it
em: jamies convinced it’s a ruse for more make up sex
obsetress: dani's like "no, babe, trust me, i know what that looks like and this––"
"wot"
"what?"
em: dani (hushed) no she’s regular mad this isn’t fun mad
em: jamie (hushed but incredulous) FUN MAD?!
obsetress: please tell me how dani explains fun mad
em: a lil eyebrow waggle and a wink but then i like
em: thought abt her going to lift jamie up on a bench ‘well she kinda’
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obsetress: the way rebecca looks at peter when he is (seemingly) (unfortunately) good w the kids has me thinking about like
obsetress: rebecca seeing vi w isabel for the first time and just
em: turns out the evil landlord shes banging is also…… soft
obsetress: rebecca and jamie on the phone and rebecca's like "i know she's... a landlord and all, but you should've seen her with isabel"
"you've gotta be fucking kidding me, becs––"
"no, maybe you're too quick to write her off. maybe people can be more than one thing"
and jamie just groans
em: poor jamie and her class traitor ex gf
em: blows kiss to rebecca
---
em: dani: i gotta go to the bathroom i’ll be right back
em: jamie: ok love
em: dani; (elbows jamie) ive Gotta Go To The B
obsetress: screamed
obsetress: dani trips over her own feet as she gets up to go
obsetress: then i just start thinking about dani absolutely pouncing on jamie the second they get into the bathroom and then i just start thinking about. how often that happens
obsetress: bathrooms or closets or wherever else
em: dani has this 6th sense for places to sneak off to
obsetress: god she DOES
obsetress: she's so good at it
em: she enters a new building and is taking lil notes just in case
obsetress: meanwhile rebecca and viola exchanging a look while they wait, knowing EXACTLY where they're going
em: viola leaning in like how much time do we have and becs is like vi. where’s your decorum
em: then she looks down at her watch and lists it down to the second
obsetress: she pauses
obsetress: then
obsetress: "and another six minutes if––" and vi's like "she'll want to go again"
em: viola buffing her nails on her blazer: she’ll want to go again
obsetress: rebecca rolls her eyes but she's grinning
obsetress: "you're all too smug" "me? smug?" becs just shakes her head and tugs her in by the lapels of her blazer
em: damie coming back to a fairly chaste vibecca kiss: BLEH can you guys GET A ROOM
obsetress: rebecca's just verly placidly like
obsetress: "dani, your zipper is still down, by the way"
em: dani; thanks :)
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em: dani clayton voice i’m braver and severely Weirder than ppl think
obsetress: she's a bit of a weirdo
em: see now i’m thinking about dani glancing away going dang i thought i was keeping it under wraps
obsetress: ngl i think about that a lot like
obsetress: she IS a weirdo but what does jamie know
obsetress: that she's like yeah she's a fucking weirdo
obsetress: like she's anxious and jumpy but jamie wouldn't call that weird
obsetress: what did she know and when did she know it
em: i’m thinking about jamie catching dani doing something like. idk eating a burger layer by layer or w a knife and fork and going
em: what a freak. i’m gonna marry her
em: dani tells jamie no this is a normal american thing and then when they go to vermont jamie realises no this absolutely is not
obsetress: she says something about it and dani doesn't even remember saying it in the first place
obsetress: "i didn't say that"
"you literally did say that"
"why would i say that"
(jamie taylor eyebrow raise) "you tell me"
(dani clayton flush and stutter) "i–– i..."
em: dani mumbles something like i didn’t think it’d pan out like this i just wanted the cool gardener to think i was. semi normal
em: jamie waggles her eyebrows like cool gardener???
obsetress: dani bumps her shoulder into jamie's "shut up"
"don't think i will, actually"
em: jamie starts to v seriously eat her burger layer by layer. danis like ‘ur taking the mick!’ and jamies like (sheepish) naw i just. wanted to see what it’s like
---
em: every so often they’ll run into someone who went to school w jamie or knew her as a youth and they’re like ‘wow you’ve mellowed out heaps’
em: therapy queen
em: theyre in a pub and someone’s like ‘as i live and breathe! jamie taylor! i heard you died! someone told me you were arrested for (crime that becomes bigger and more outlandish w every new person)’ and jamies like ‘aye’ and they’re like
em: all sharing a beer at a quaint little pub n this old acquaintance from before has these v chaotic stories and danis like
em: jamie? my jamie? u must be confused. jamie goes to bed at 9:30pm watching antiques roadshow
obsetress: jamie just grins a lil
em: danis like haha jamie wow ur so mysterious and (she is already casing the joint for places to sneak off too)
---
em: damvibecca sittin in a circle passing a joint around
em: a nice thought
obsetress: Wholesome
obsetress: dani falls asleep first, with her head in jamie's lap and they're all just kinda vibin and rebecca gets up to get her a blanket or smth and vi's just kinda like
obsetress: "you're really good for her, you know"
obsetress: all quiet and pensive
em: jamie takes a loooooonng pause and she’s like. i was sceptical but. you’re good for becs too
em: and then even quieter she’s like
em: thanks
em: the softest thank u from one jamie taylor
obsetress: rebecca gets back and looks back n forth between the two of them
"why are you two being weird"
"we're not–- what?"
"we're just sitting here, baby"
obsetress: rebecca narrows her eyes
---
obsetress: jamie likes vi for becs because vi reminds her to live a little
obsetress: and can also keep up with her temperament because holy shit did jamie hate all of becca's bougie shit
em: jamie absolutely has um
em: like a repairs pile that shes gonna get around to Some Day re fixin clothes etc and
em: as much as i love 'rebecca and jamie worlds most calm and collected no drama couple' im defs toying with like
em: their ONE Big fight is beccs throws out the repairs pile
obsetress: "i was gonna––"
"no you WEREN'T, jamie!"
em: jamies like i The Tool I Needed is outta stock i had to- and becs is like? what, like you couldnt make do?
em: and even then when the heat dies down its still v calm and civil but like
em: FINALLY a lil dramatic angle to jamie rebecca
em: dani loves the repairs pile bc she loves a project
obsetress: she's also very content to let jamie have her silly little thing
obsetress: because it doesn't bother her and jamie is very good at keeping it in her space
obsetress: rebecca asks her about it one day and dani's like "oh i'm just glad she has a hobby :)"
em: couple times jamie's like. shes been tryna repair this one chair for months and eventually shes like
em: (swings axe) winters coming
obsetress: dani just watches with the dopiest grin
obsetress: jamie's all wot
obsetress: and dani's like
obsetress: :) you're hot :)
em: danis like hey i know its a brisk autumn but um
em: if u wanna
em: mimes taking shirt off
obsetress: jamie does it
obsetress: jamie rolling her eyes as she unbuttons the top couple buttons then tugs her shirt over her head
obsetress: but she's grinning
obsetress: dani sneaking up behind her as she's sorting the wood and just leaning into her bare back
obsetress: jamie jumps "oi!" and dani grins and nuzzles between her shoulders
---
obsetress: been having so many becca feelings in our rewatch
em: oh gosh
em: i love her she truly is a tragic character
obsetress: same
obsetress: i just want her to live happily ever after in her lil power lesbian outfits with her lil power lesbian wife
obsetress: like she needs someone who can MATCH her
obsetress: her energy and her intensity and her passion
obsetress: and like she and jamie can push each other to be better but jamie’s just kinda like “lemme chill n do my gay little tasks” yknow
em: ya and like they Worked but they worked Much better as friends than anything romantic
em: jamies the lesbian best friend that’s like girl. stop settling for mediocre men with accents
obsetress: yeah!
em: jamie ‘how soon is too soon to ask out my good friend rebecca jessel after her v messy break up w peter quint’ taylor
em: and then rebecca ends up being the one like ‘have you ever thought about us?’ while jamies agonising over it like four months later
em: rebeccas a little go getter and jamie needs a little bit of a shove sometimes
obsetress: jamie, surrounded by three shovers,
obsetress: rebecca says it so casually over dinner like she’s talking about the weather and jamie’s like !?
obsetress: i can also see like
obsetress: rebecca says that bit about "have you ever thought about us" at dinner and jamie blanches and second guesses everything they do "is....... is this a date" becca just shrugs "do you want it to be?"
em: jamies motormouthing like ok but i cannot stress enough that i was comforting you about ur break up in a friend way no ulterior motives way i am ur friend first and foremost and rebecca just like
em: lets her get it out of her system
em: ‘well what about my ulterior motives’
obsetress: she WOULD
obsetress: "did you ever consider that maybe i had ulterior motives"
em: jamie: (pursing her lips, furrowing her brow that way she does) you had a messy break up with peter quint….. to seduce me.
em: rebecca: mmhmm
obsetress: jamie: me?
obsetress: rebecca: well, maybe a couple of reasons, but... yeah. you were up there
---
em: after i asked out [ex] i spent ages agonising over when it would be appropriate to kiss her (i know...) and then one night at a party she’s like ‘so why haven’t u kissed me yet?’ and i’m like are u fucken. mate it takes two to tango
obsetress: oh my god?
em: drawing from that
em: jamie thinks they’re taking it slow (but not that slow) and rebecca is like girl what
em: ‘i never took you for old fashioned’
‘wot, me?’
'mmhm’
‘old fashioned?!’
‘well, you haven’t kissed me yet-‘
‘you haven't kissed me! i figured you wanted to take it slow after p-‘ and then rebecca like full on dips jamie and kisses her
em: rebeccas like always wanted to do that at least once lol
em: jamie is speechless for a couple minutes
obsetress: rEBECCA
---
obsetress: thinking thoughts rebecca jamie same height but rebecca heels
obsetress: jamie looking up @ her all
obsetress: rebecca in her heels and is chilly and jamie getting up onto her tip toes to wrap her big coat around rebecca's shoulders
em: softtt
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