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thepaintpirate · 11 months

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How the old Yonkou enjoy their birthday.

Ahh first request, thankyou!!!

By old Yonkou I assume you mean WB, Big Mom, Kaido and Shanks but I'm gonna add Roger too because I love him too much.

If you meant current Yonkou I can do a different post for them too!

| How the old Yonkou celebrate their birthdays |

Featuring: Whitebeard, Big Mom, Kaido and Shanks + Roger

Whitebeard/Edward Newgate -

The Whitebeard crew know how to celebrate a party, so you know this is going to be crazy.

The crew plan far in advance, despite Newgate telling them not to worry about it (like any old person I've met would). Their allies are in on it, ready to meet at a private and quiet island to celebrate the big day. There's tonnes of booze and all the divisions are there, ready to let loose hard for one night together.

His crew is his family, and being with them is the best present he could receive. Second best though is a large jug of alcohol with his name on it, and you know for a fact that Marco did not approve this gift.

Whitebeard himself thinks about all the years passed before and how it's only now with his family that he celebrates, as a kid it never meant much. He becomes quiet after a while, basking in it all.

He usually visits his home island, Sphinx, around the same week just to reminisce about his life.

Big Mom/Charlotte Linlin -

Her kids are stressed.

They've been planning for ages and somehow there's always something that needs tweaking. They'll spend weeks collecting all the right ingredients and tributes from her islands. The show winner is the birthday cake though, a massive and very well decorated birthday cake.

In terms of presents she receives it's mostly food items because it's all she likes, news of success too. People are trying to have fun but it's hard when you've got a mother who's so hard to cater to and please.

In the evening, she'll get all calm. It's unusual. She excuses herself to her rooms, sitting down on a seat for the night. One of the only times she gets sorrowful is now, her birthday. She'll sit and think about her life and those who left her, her childhood friends and their "disappearance". By nightfall she's alone eating croquembouch.

Kaido -

A lot of alcohol, a lot of music and a lot of fun. It's not a birthday, it's a birthweek.

It's planned before time, stocking up on the best booze and food they can get. Onigashima becomes even more busy and there are more lights than usual. Lanterns and banners are everywhere, it's looking beautiful.

The gifts brought to him are alcohol, prisoners, food and treasure. On the first day he's already smashed beyond consciousness and he's trying to get his subordinates to do the same. But that's the norm, if you aren't waking up in a random room covered in random garlands with a headache worse than death then you aren't doing it right.

Kaido never really cared about his birthday when he was younger and his actual date of birth is a little unsure. The older he got, the more he began to party. But there's no emotional connection to this day, just an excuse to party.

Shanks -

Another booze fest. By this point the world's stores of alcohol have been depleted.

Shanks's crew try to make it a surprise some years, but Shanks knows. Yassop can't keep a secret for the life of him so do not trust him to plan. Either way, it's usually a big event on a quiet beach island with friends and allies. He's a man that likes to be surrounded by the ones he loves. He will demand a chocolate birthday cake.

Presents vary. Booze, food, clothes sometimes and sometimes new sandals. But that means you have to pry his old, grubby sandals away from him and repair them because he doesn't want to part with them he's had them since he was 15.

Shanks loves birthdays and he's celebrated his every year, except the first year without Roger. It didn't feel right without him or Buggy or Ray. But it's better now. He uses this time to think about his life and Luffy too.

Roger -

The best party you'll ever attend.

Planned ahead, Roger has a role in what is going to happen because he likes being involved. He'll want it on his ship and on a beach, decorated with lanterns and tables full of food. This man, you can't convince me otherwise, loves chocolate and chocolate cake is his go to. Shanks learned this from him.

There's card games, darts, catch and other stuff because it's a great way to burn off energy and in the evening it's all about drinking and dancing. Also, he has and will try to invite Newgate and Garp to his birthday. Surprisingly they have attended at least a few times before.

He likes to personally spend time with each person that day and he kind of forgets it's about him. But as the night gets darker he'll think about everyone he's known and lost. His childhood isn't something he likes to talk about so he'll try to avoid thinking about it.

Edit: I just realized I forgot to tag this rip

#one piece #one piece headcanons #whitebeard pirates #big mom #kaido one piece #shanks #gol d. roger

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awoken-artist · 10 months

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{Finished in Feb 13th 2023}

🌈✧{Please Do Not Steal, Trace, use my Art in AI and NFTs and Repost/Resubmit my Works. Thank You.}✧🌈

I wanted to draw out a scene I had in mind forever...I did drew ONE art of Ed and Em [and its in the comic strip. of them starring realizing how close they are] and i sat there thinking of make a quick sketchy doodly comic strip of this.

So- Yeah for context and updates on my ocxcanon pair - Ed and Emmy is that when the two met they never got along and would fight and make snarky comments to eachother and Alphonse being the middle man of the two. voice of reason. so not sure exactly where in the timeline [cause I also will draw art for 2003 series too and 2003 and brotherhood have very different directions BUT the scene of this would be the same.] so this would have to be around where the two of them still fight but not as..often but still was like "great theyre fighting again" kind of thing for Al. So Im gonna guess cause this is a bit of a work in progress where they had a mission, they both kind of dun goofed a bit [but manage to complete it] and they both started to have a fight that started with the comments then to straight out fighting with alchemy in an alley way for some reason. the two started fighting and they were - not minding it cause the two are being too cocky about it. Emmy takes a step where she causes herself to trip and wasnt expecting this to happen cause shes really great with her footing but today was NOT her day.... So ed tries to catch her, he gets pulled to her as their foreheads SMACKED against eachother pretty hard [but not hard enough it causes them to knock out or such] and they rolled to the end of the alley way. emmy lands with her back as Ed was somewhat on top-ish as they didnt realize what position they were both in cause- they quickly are just trying to recover from the head smack headache and started bickering again- and slowly realize "....oh shit" they both massively blushed realizing the position they were in as they were just too stunned to continue the fight and they just were very awkward with eachother a bit. Roy happened to be around [they were not far from Central HQ tbh] so Roy sees Al just- stare at the Alley so of course he and Riza went to see wtf is going on and....yeah sees that. Wondering tf they are doing. Ed and Emmy QUICKLY panicked while their faces were red as fire as they both adjust themselves and try to walk away from the whole situation and boy the rest of that day to a week..or two...Edward and Emmy were very awkward and flustered and that memory never left. [not even further into the story it still REMAINED] and its where the start of the crush happens with both of them. Emmy couldnt help remember it as her heart was pounding and racing very much. Winry already can tell shes crushing SO HARD on Edward. Edward [while I havent drawn it here] is probably so frustrated and doesnt know why hes feeling off. he never had a crush on anyone and never blushed this hard ever and Alphonse thought it was kind of cute Ed is getting super flustered anytime he and emmy are in the same room together. Al and Winry being the wingman here for both. they do eventually not get so awkward with eachother but theres times they do and sometimes hints of maybe theyre kind of realizing they like eachother that much. Also wanna point out [and I wanna sketch it] where Ed kind of corners her somewhat and they fought and they got into the same position somehow. [thinking Emmy was being super stubborn, Ed corners her to the wall as Emmy gets too flustered she falls slowly down to the floor all very flushed in the face and Ed gets down to her level and just both of them being awkward dorks. [and I think its where the confession comes in.] still got plans for more FMA works just need to do some tweaking and such :3

🌈✧{Credits}✧🌈

✧ Artwork and FMA OC Emmy Rosenthal © by: @awoken-artist

✧ Fullmetal Alchemist and Characters Edward and Aphonse Elric, Roy Mustang and Winry Rockbell owned by:

Hiromu Arakawa

✧ Programs Used: Clip Studio Paint EX

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pandemoniumskey · 2 years

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A Quiet Day - Sirius Black X (fem)Reader

Hio everyone, Pandemonium here and I’m back again with another fandom of mine. I love Harry Potter so much so the majority of my fics may be from there.

Surprisingly, this is the first ever HP fic I have ever written and I write a lot on my other accounts on other apps.

Hope you enjoy this.

Love you all,

Pandemonium

P.S. (Y/N) = Your name

(Y/A/N) = Your animagus name

(Y/A) = Your animagus

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It wasn’t everyday that (Y/N) got to be alone with her best friend Sirius. Today was one of those rare days where James and the rest of the Marauders were off doing their own thing while you were left with Padfoot under the shade of the giant Beech tree beside the lake. Your favourite spot.

You were sitting against the thick trunk, carding your fingers through his silky, black hair, while he rested his head on your lap. His eyes were drooping occasionally, letting you know that he was falling asleep.

People constantly thought the two of you were dating and it took a lot of persuading to convince them otherwise.

Even if you died a little on the inside every time either one of you said “we’re just friends.”

And yet, you would never willingly tell him how you felt, fearing that you would wreck the most important friendship you had.

“I wonder what the others are up to right now?” Sirius murmured, you could see his eyes threating to close at any moment and knew he was trying to keep himself awake.

“Prongs and Evans are on a date, but you already knew that,” you said matter-of-factly. “Moony is probably in that little bookstore finding a new book to add to his already massive collection guaranteed. And Wormtail.... his following Moony like a lost puppy because he has no mind of his own.”

Sirius laughed at the last part agreeing with you.

Yes, you had skipped a Hogsmead trip hoping for a quiet and peaceful day you weren’t really feeling up to a whole lot of excitement. You didn’t, however, expect Padfoot of all people to stay behind with you. “And you, I thought you would have gone and found yourself a girl to snog in the private rooms at The Three Broomsticks.”

Keeping the sadness and surprise out of your voice was hard, but you thought you were successful. Sirius chuckled, moving his head slightly on your lap to get more comfortable.

“Is that so (Y/A/N)?” He was looking into your eyes. You nodded trying to keep the sadness out of your features. He was always able to read your emotions like an open book. “What if I wanted a quiet day off with my best friend?”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Then your wish would be granted,” you said through a big smile. You loved these fleeting moments with Padfoot, after all.

His smile matched your own and you continued playing with his hair. “After they get back, I think I’m gonna go to the library and continue my quiet day. Work on some homework. I’m not really feeling up to all the excitement today.”

In truth, you felt sick. Your head was pounding, your entire body ached and your stomach refused food all day. You were hoping the quiet day would be enough to at least relieve you of the headache which threatened to split your head open at any moment.

“I’ll let them know to leave you be,” Sirius said quietly and you could appreciate that you were always a thought in his mind. “Maybe I’ll even join you in there too.”

You gave it some thought, “you don’t have to. I’m sure James is going to have some wild fictional stories about Trolls he battled while on his date that would be much more interesting than me doing a potions essay for Slughorn.”

“You’re right,” he surrender. “But I’ll come check in on you later, see if there are tidbits of wisdom about the 12 uses of dragons blood I can glean off you.”

“Haha. You may not get much, I’m not good at potions,” you muttered.

“Says the one who created the cure for animagus related illness in her 6th year,” he said causing you to blush.

“You were sick, the regular stuff wasn’t working, I just tweaked it a bit.”

“You saved more than just me. You saved McGonagall too.”

You remembered the scene all to well, the three of you were too scared to bring Sirius to Madam Pomfrey out of fear of the repercussions of becoming an animagus illegally that you tried your hand at making the cure. You knew you had brewed it correctly, but upon giving it to Sirius and learning it didn’t work you got worried.

You remembered thinking of ingredients used to heal and added a few of them to a new batch, taking out a few of the ingredients already meant to be in there and adding new ones.

You feed the potions to Padfoot and within hours, he was better. The five of you later learned that Professor McGonagall had come down with the same thing and was laying in a coma in the hospital wing until St. Mongos could get her.

You raced with what you had left of the potion to her bedside and forced it down her mouth when Madam Pomfrey wasn’t looking. Again, like with Sirius, she was better within hours and asking how she had gotten better. You confessed to your doings telling her you couldn’t sit by and allow her to die.

The respect the Marauders had for their Head of House was profound. (Y/N) was so surprised when McGonagall later said she had told the Ministry of Magic about the new cure you had produced. You didn’t want the credit, that would launch a spotlight on you that you didn’t want.

And so you quietly accepted an award from the school and the Ministry and never spoke of it since. They now kept large batches within the hospitals.

Only a handful of people ever knew about your major accomplishment. The Marauders, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey and somehow Severus Snape.

“Yeah, but that was different, I was desperate,” you murmured after resurfacing from that memory. You could still feel the stabbing fear you felt in that moment every time you thought of it.

“You were still incredible and I will be forever grateful and come to you for everything potions.”

And thus, the conversation ended. Looking at your watch your realized they would be back from the village now and told Padfoot as much.

***

You were sitting in the library. You couldn’t concentrate for the life of you. You were shivering even though you were burning hot and sweating and the aches turned into explosive pain.

Hardly able to move your quill, you tried writing in the word ‘dragon’ and it didn’t work, instead you slipped from your chair and hit the ground hard, your body spasming without your control.

You heard the tall-tale footsteps of Madam Pince and her sudden intake of breath, “hold on. I’ll get you help.”

Soon after her cool fingers made contact with your burning skin, you passed out.

Sirius POV

He was really worried about (Y/N). All day you were quiet and he could tell you were quite pale, even sick looking.

Padfoot listened to James as he spoke about the date he had just been on with Lily Evans and as (Y/N) had predicted, he had some whirlwind tale about him thwarting something evil, but he wasn’t listening. His thoughts were on the girl he was secretly in love with.

“Earth to Sirius,” a voice called dragging him out of his thoughts.

“Huh?”

A laugh came and James waved a hand in his face, “you weren’t listening. What’s wrong?”

“I have a bad feeling something’s wrong with (Y/N),” Sirius said explaining how you looked and acted all day. Concern grew on the rest of their faces.

“You said she was in the library?” Padfoot nodded. “We’re going to check on her.”

Everyone got to their feet Sirius was a little confused but he was eager to check on you.

“You probably wouldn’t remember because you were so out of it, but that exactly how you were last year when you were sick,” Remus said and terror flared in Sirius’s heart.

Before the four of them could even exit through the portrait hole, it swung open revelling, Professor McGonagall.

“Boys, come with me,” she said quietly. “It’s (Y/N).”

And they were all dashing to the hospital wing.

The sight of you broke Padfoots heart. You were on your side, strapped to the bed as you convulsed. Vomit was leaving your mouth in steady flows and blood trickled from your nose. Even though you were so active in your bed, you looked close to death.

The terror struck deeper within him. He wanted to run to her side, but he knew he couldn’t it was highly contagious and he wasn’t going to fight past two professor and his friends. That same feeling of horror was written on the faces of the other three as they watched what happened to their one friend happen to another.

“We haven’t been able to figure out what was wrong with her,” Professor Dumbledore said calmly. Sirius hadn’t even noticed he was in the room. His gaze was concentrated on the love of his life. “Her symptoms line up with one thing, yet it is not possible.”

Sirius knew he had no choice to give up the information he knew.

“It is possible...” his voice was quieter than it had ever been before. He wasn’t thinking about the amount of trouble they would get in, he was thinking of (Y/N).

“She became an animagus two years ago,” he said. “She takes the form of an (Y/A).”

Upon just hearing the words animagus, Madam Pomfrey was racing across the room to the drawer the vital potion was kept.

“Pray this works everyone,” she said before tilting the potion into your mouth and forcing you to drink it. “This is the worst case ever reported, normally it doesn’t progress this far before the potion is given to them.”

Minutes turned into hours and still (Y/N) had made no progress. Madam Pomfrey forced everyone out of the room to allow for quiet.

Sirius was having none of that and begged James to borrow his invisibility cloak. James, knowing Sirius’s feelings for you, gave him the cloak no questions asked.

And that is how he found himself hours later sitting in front of you not even caring that he could potentially get sick himself. Your vomiting had turned to heavy breathing and your convulsions were less server. He didn’t know if it was a sign of you getting better, or a sign that your body was giving up.

“(Y/N), don’t die on me. Please,” he sobbed. “I don’t know what I would do if you died. (Y/N), please, I’m begging you. Don’t die. I need you. I... I love you.”

It was the first time he actually voiced those feelings allowed.

“I... lo-love... you t-too... S-Siri-us,” he wasn’t sure he even heard it. He continued to sob until he felt a weak had on his own. “D-don’t... cry.” Finally, he looked up and the sight before him took his breath away.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!!” You smiled weakly at him and in his joy, he alerted Madam Pomfrey to the fact that something was going on.

“Oh, thank Merlin’s beard you’re alive,” she said clutching a hand to her chest. “I’ll get Professors McGonagall, Dumbledore and your friends.”

“If you... don’t m-mind,” you stammered not letting your eyes leave Sirius. “I-I... need a... m-minute wi-th Sirius.”

She nodded and left to tell the other by foot instead of by magic. (Y/N) took a deep breath, “I’ve loved you for a l-long time.”

Sirius smiled squeezing your hand, “same here.”

You both just sit there in perfect silence until he finally leaned over to give you a sweet kiss on the forehead.

“Finally!” Remus said upon entering the room with James and Peter on either side. “You owe me three galleons.” Sirius just shrugged at the three of them bickering and turned his attention back to you, kissing you again.

#harry potter #fanfic #hp #harrypotter #sirius x y/n #sirius x you #sirius #sirius orion black #sirius x reader #james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #animagus #love #illnesses #confession

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yangjeongin · 3 years

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THUNDEROUS ENDING FAIRIES

#stray kids #createskz #bystay #staysource #idolnexusedit #ot8 #*gif #*ot8 #*mary:skz #i was gonna tweak some of these more but i got a massive headache so im just gonna post it as is and go chill #*mary #*hits

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mrsbhandari · 4 years

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Please

a/n: HI so i have a massive headache and this will prob be the last thing i post for today but yeah! this was originally a request but it was hella long so i decided to just make it a full fic lmaooooo anyways, yeah...this is my first threesome so i hope yall like!! (Tyril x F!Elf!MC x Mal)

warnings: uhhhhh crazy nsfw, threesome

words: 1350

Summary: Mal gets caught.

“Does that feel good, Tyril?” Naexi practically purred into his ear as she ran a thumb over the head of his cock. He jolted in her grasp, bucking his hips up and straining against the ropes that held his hands to the bed frame. She admired the flexing of his strong biceps as she moved her hand faster and faster along his shaft, murmuring praise into his ear. “You’re so pretty below me, and you’d look even prettier with your stomach covered in your cum, hm?”

“Please!” he yelped, toes curling and eyes rolling back. This was the third time edging him, bringing him to the precipice of bliss before retracting her hand and laughing at his whimpering. She allowed him to calm down, watching his chest slow with his breathing and his eyes slowly open.

“Adorable,” she condescended, running a finger through the bead of precum at his tip and bringing it to her lips.

“Stop teasing me so much!” he said, face flushed a perfect violet and beads of sweat rolling down his temple. His long raven hair was wet with his perspiration. Naexi sat back on her haunches and turned toward the door of the bedroom.

“You can come in, you know.” Tyril’s head shot up in confusion; he hadn’t heard anyone, so how could Naexi have heard anything? He must’ve been so caught up in the haze of pleasure that he hadn’t realized. His eyes widened as he finally saw who had been waiting outside the door.

“I...didn’t mean to interrupt.” Mal, ever the shameless, actually looked embarrassed. Tyril could spot the erection in his pants from a mile away and inadvertently gulped at the sight.

“You’re not interrupting anything, I’m just having a little fun with Tyril here. Care to join me?” Naexi spoke as casually as she would talk about the weather, looking to Tyril and winking before turning back to a tomato-faced Mal the Magnificent.

“Are you sure?” he looked from Naexi to Tyril, who had begun panting at the thought of Mal joining.

“Please,” he whimpered, head falling back to the pillow beneath him.

“I know you’ve been thinking of this for a while, Mal.” Naexi lightly gripped his wrist and tugged him over to the bed, and with each step, Mal could feel himself slowly slipping into the role they both wanted him to play.

“Wow,” he breathed and a ran a hand up Tyril’s thick thigh, laughing a little when the muscles jolted under his touch, still sensitive from his edging.

“Please,” the elf repeated, looking desperately at Mal.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want your tongue inside me, Mal,” Tyril gasped, breath heavy in the air.

“Hm, you’re going to have to wait your turn, love.” Naexi ran a hand through Mal’s hair and pulled him into a bruising kiss, moaning into it and drifting her other hand down his pants, wasting no time in wrapping it around his cock. Mal let out a shuddering groan before stepping back to undress quickly, returning to the two elves completely naked and leaking. He glanced at Tyril as his lips forged a burning path down Naexi’s neck, half-lidded eyes locking with his as she fell apart under his touch. Tyril moaned and Mal stopped his ministrations.

“Aw, does elf-boy want some love?” he sneered, giving an arrogant smile as he saw Tyril’s cock twitch against his stomach. “Good things come to good boys who wait.” Tyril’s hands hung limply from their restraints as he looked between his two partners.

“Reckon we should give him all he wants?”

“He’s been patient.”

“Please!” Tyril panted, sitting up a little and widening his eyes.

“So polite, too.” Mal’s gaze meandered from his face to his cock to his thighs before following the same path back up. “I think we should. Do you agree?”

“I do.”

Tyril gave them both a whimpering smile as they climbed over to him on the bed, Mal staying near his legs with Naexi traveling up to his chest, pressing light kisses wherever she could reach. Mal leaned down to give gentle bites up his thighs, making Tyril groan out and struggle more against the binds.

“You’ve been such a good boy, Ty. Mal’s gonna treat you so well, hm?” Naexi whispered, tweaking his nipple between her fingertips. He gave her a weak nod and focused on where Mal was pushing Tyril’s knees to his chest. He slipped one slick finger in and smiled up at the elf when he let out a loud moan. Effortlessly, Mal reached his prostate and slipped another wet finger in, curling and stretching him out as best he could. Naexi held down Tyril’s hips to let Mal work, distracting him with hickeys on his throat.

“Feel good, Ty?” Mal said, not waiting for an answer when he ran his tongue around Tyril’s rim, holding his ass firmly in small hands.

“Oh, yes!” Tyril shouted, eyes squinting shut and face being pushed into the pillow.

“That’s right, sweet boy, don’t hold back for us,” Naexi breathed, thoroughly enjoying watching her boyfriend come apart on Mal’s tongue.

“Please, I want you inside me, Mal--ah!” Tyril requested, gasping when Mal’s tongue slipped out and was replaced by the head of his cock pressing into him.

“That alright, kit?”

Naexi sent him a blissful smile. “I can never deny him when he’s like this, can you?” Mal gave a small shake of his head and entered Tyril smoothly, pulling his legs back down to wrap around the human’s waist. Calves locked behind Mal’s ass, pushing and keeping him inside. “Mind if I join?” Naexi looked to both her partners, neither denying her own request.

Nodding, she threw a leg over Tyril’s stomach and splayed a hand on his built chest to keep herself balanced. With her other hand, she guided Ty’s cock inside her, slowly sinking down onto him and shuddering when he was fully sheathed. Mal leaned a head on her shoulder as they both looked down at the elf.

“You comfortable, kit?”

“I am, Tyril just feels so good.”

“I have to agree. Just. So. Good.” Mal punctuated his last three words with accompanying thrusts that had Tyril shivering and letting out choked groans. Mal settled into a lazy rhythm, languid thrusts complemented by his tight grip on his hips while Naexi matched Mal’s pace, leaning heavily on his chest while she clenched around his cock. Tyril could feel himself teetering on the edge of ecstasy and he writhed underneath his partners.

“I’m so close, please don’t stop!”

Both speeds picked up until Tyril couldn’t take it anymore and reached his peak, emptying himself inside Naexi while clenching tightly around Mal, who followed the elf into a blissful state of contentment. Naexi let out a long groan as she came, nails biting into Tyril’s skin and leaving little violet marks on the blue flesh.

Mal was the first to regain his composure. “That was....”

“Great?” Naexi finished for him, turning her head to give him a small wink.

“...Definitely.” Mal turned his attention to Ty, who looked like he had already fallen asleep. “Tyril, you alright?”

“Never better...” he mumbled, eyes remaining closed.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, my love.” Naexi leaned forward to untie his hands, gently massaging the skin and rolling the joint. Mal walked to the bathroom and got some wet washcloths for them all, running the warm cloth over Tyril’s body. The elf finally seemed able to move, so he helped Naexi get cleaned off before giving a small kiss to both his partners.

“You’re right, that was great,” he said, definitively nodding his head.

“So you’re not upset I crashed your party?” Mal suddenly grew bashful, fidgeting with the towel in his hands.

“Of course not,” Tyril reached a hand out to Mal’s cheek, stroking the hair that he hadn’t shaved in a while. Naexi followed suit with the other cheek, leaning into his side.

“Well, if you’d like to keep it going...” Mal gave them both a devious smile. “The bathtub is big enough to fit this party.”

#this is........#damn #okay penny #chill the fuck out #i didn't expect it to get this dirty lmao #i hope yall like #blades #blades of light and shadow #mal volari #tyril x mal x mc #choices tyril #tyril starfury #choices blades

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ask-fallout-southpark · 6 years

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Day #1:Twin Skeletons

I didn’t know what I want to call it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Remember,this is all done with random number generating and writing and crossing things out.I didn’t exactly think of names for the oneshots.

25 Days of Fallout Park Day #1

Name of oneshot: Twin skeletons {The song reminds me of the dlc in the game,so..yeah}

Ship: Kenny x reader

Characters: ||The reader,as Courier Six/Six||Kenny McCormick as well,Kenny||Father Elijah as crazy old man with a plan||

Mentioned only:||Tweek Tweak||Clyde Donovan||Some of the others||Vera Keyes||Michael||Pete||Henrietta||

Type: x reader oneshot,romance

Location: Sierra Madre Casino and Villa

Prompt:

Person A: “Have you ever liked someone before but too scared to say it?”

Person B: “All the time.”

Person A: “Same.”

Person A and B: *Silence*

{Found here }

You knew you shouldn’t have listened to the invitation.If you followed your gut,you wouldn’t be in the mess you are now.

It was early in the morning when you and three of your faithful companions and friends,Tweek,Kenny and Clyde decided on investigating an odd radio signal your pipboy picked up.It was an invitation to some casino,untouched by the wasteland.Following the signal,it lead the four of you to an abandoned Brotherhood bunker.Down the ladder,down the stairs and through the only hallway that hasn’t collapsed,a radio stood on a table,under spotlight.The soothing voice of who ever was on the radio drew you closer.It also drew the other three closer.It wasn’t until it was too late that you realized it was a trap.A strange gas filled the room,and before you or your friends could react,you were all knocked out,consumed by darkness,and only the echoes of cackling filled your minds.

This is where we find ourselves now…

It wasn’t until a few hours later that you woke up in an unfamiliar place.The ground beneath you was hard,and rough.There was a certain cold gloominess around you.Colors ranging from reds and purples to dark pinks and yellows.With a slight struggle you managed to scramble up to your feet,and your vision returned to normal.You were no longer in the clothing you got used to.You wore an old bloody patient’s gown,and just damn great,you’re barefoot.You also had a weird collar around your neck.You remember seeing some of the Legion slaves wearing them.You looked up at the fountain in front of you,and rubbed your head.That’s just great.You had a massive headache,you had no clue where you are,your gear is gone and you had no clue where any of the others are.There was a blue hologram on the top of the fountain.It was a woman.You came to the conclusion that it must be the one from the invite,as she started talking,saying almost the exact same things as she did on the radio.She had that soothing beautiful voice.It was then that a bright green hologram replaced the blue one,snapping you out of your dazed state staring at the radio woman.It was the face of an old man.“Oh good,you’re awake,” he mutters.“Are you listening?” You hesitate for a moment,you’re not used to talking to anyone but your friends,but between speaking up and getting your head blown off,speaking was the better option,“Y-Yes.” You had a million questions to ask this old man,but something about the bomb collar around your neck said that you should leave questions for later.“Good.From now on when I talk,you’re gonna listen.You’re gonna follow my instructions and mine alone,“ the man grumbled.You kept quiet,only giving a simple nod.The man probably saw you through cameras or something.“And if you even think of not following my instructions,or escaping or saying ‘no’,that little collar around your neck will go off,and take your head with it.”

"Understood,“ you murmur quietly.“I’ve left markers on that pipboy of yours.Find the other three collars and bring them here,to the fountain.If you obey…then you’ll,hmph,all go free.The Sierra Madre’s gates are sealed.Do as I say and it won’t be locked much longer.And another thing,you’ll see that your vision will constantly pulse,go blurry.It’s the cloud,slowly eating your insides.Too much exposure will lead to a very painful death,” the old man explains.“You probably have a million questions running through that puny mind of yours,courier.So ask and ask quickly,we have work to do.”

Without thinking twice,you asked,”Who the hell are you?”

“Me? You’ll simply refer to me as Father Elijah.”

“Where the hell am I?”

“The Sierra Madre casino,aren’t you paying attention at all?”

“Where are my friends?”

“Those bumbling idiots? Thrown in random loca-”

“Six! I’m damn glad I found you!” You turned to the side,only to almost get tackled by the one and only Kenny.You can only hear the old man grumble through the speakers in the area.”I’m pretty glad too,Ken,” you grin.Ever since you met the half ghoul at the Mormon fort,you’ve grown to love him.In a friend-companion way,of course.Always so optimistic,always fooling around.But,let’s face it.As you travelled together,you started developing feelings for him.You hid them pretty well,but not everyone on your team was that blind.Especially not Wendy.Even Craig could see it.”You have any idea where we are? We went into the bunker…then I woke up with a bomb collar around my neck,all my guns taken,everyone else gone.I got attacked by these weird assholes with spears…and bear traps…I’m pretty sure one wanted to eat my face and-”

The old man cleared his throat,causing both of you two to shut up and turn your attention to the hologram again.”You know what,you idiots will do fine on your own.I’ll be watching,so don’t even try anything stupid.You’ll find a holorifle at that vending machine over there with some ammo.Don’t waste the ammo.”

With that,the hologram vanished,and the radio woman appeared again.Kenny looks at you,head tilted to the side,”What’s with the gettup?”

“Old man took my clothes,my meds and chems,my weapons,everything,” you shrug,and start walking over to the vending machine.”It’s bull that you get to keep your clothes,and that I’m stuck with this gown,and I’m barefoot.It’s barely covering anything,so if we get attacked,I’m gonna get myself killed.” Kenny followed after,shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets,”Maybe we’ll find some clothes in this place.From what I can tell,it’s big,and if it is untouched as the invite says,it means nothing’s been looted.” You pick up the gun and ammo,and load up the first set of rounds.The rest you hand to your companion,since he’s the only one with pockets between the two of you.”I hope so.”

“Until then,I at least have an excuse to stare at you ass,” he smirks,wiggling his eyebrows.The comment made you blush slightly,and you punch his shoulder,”Perv.” He laughs at the remark,”Hey! We should probably get a move on.Our lives are all on the line.Because if I have a collar too,it means Tweek and Clyde also have collars,and the three people we have to find obviously also have.” You nod,and you two start heading in the only direction that isn’t a dead end.”Who should we go after first? Collar 8 at the police station,Collar 12 in the medical district,or Collar 14 in the Residential district?” you ask,holding up you pipboy so Kenny could also see.”Go for the middle one,Collar 12? I know it would probably be better if we head to the police station first,because we might find weapons there and clothes for you,but,if we get attacked,we’re gonna have worse problems than not having weapons.Or..I think that’s right? We’re at the door to the Medical district anyway,so…yeah,” the blonde murmurs,stopping and staring up at the giant wooden doors.Hey,maybe there’s a dead janitor with a jumpsuit or something behind the doors.Stimpaks and aid was probably the better option.You were unsure,but Kenny’s right,you’re at the door to the Medical district,so why not go there first? The old man didn’t say to find the three in a specific order.

“Sure.Let’s see what waits for us behind door number one.”

The two of you entered the Medical district,and a few steps in,the collars started beeping.Out of instinct,you stepped back,and grabbed the back of Kenny’s hoodie to drag him back too.”Ah,the speakers.They’ve aged poorly,like the Madre.Pre-war junk.The speakers emit a signal that’ll set your collars off if you stay too long.There are damaged speakers,and shielded ones…the damaged ones you can shoot at range.Don’t get too close,you can’t switch them off the the radios..which will also set off your collars if you get too close.The shielded ones,red ones,you have to shut off by terminal or avoid completely,” he explains.”And remember,courier and…idiot following courier,if one collar is set off,all the collars will explode.Not only yours.It was the only way to keep you all in line.Watch out for the villa inhabitants..they’re difficult to kill unless you chop them apart..if you can,blow them up or disintegrate them….Some are harder to kill than others..as they are bigger in size…”

“Hey Father Elijah,before you go…Where do they come from?These monsters,I mean.”

He grunted,”They were once the workers,got consumed by the cloud as they built the villa.Some were also horrible experiments by the people from Big MT.No more questions.”

{I don’t own the pictures - it’s from the Dead Money horror overhaul.Pretty damn great mod for my favorite DLC}

“Great…immortal freaks with spears ‘n shit.Good thing I’m immortal too then,huh?” Kenny mutters,taking the holorifle from you and shooting the speaker like some professional.“Nobody likes a show off,” you say,crossing your arms,“…but since you want to be one,why don’t you hold onto the gun?” “I can do that.” You walked forward to where the speaker was,just before heading through the second archway.There was graffiti on the wall,similar to that which you saw near the fountain.You didn’t know what was scarier,the monsters or the graffiti.You haven’t even seen the cloud Elijah keeps rambling about.

Instead of just focussing on the mission at hand,Kenny suggested exploring,looking around a little.And during your exploring,the two of you found two or three stimpaks,some random chems,and a lot of Sierra Madre coins.Elijah radioed in again explaining that it’s the only currency the vending machines take,and that upgrades to unlock certain items are bought or found around the villa.Unfortunately the vending machines only have pre-war food and drinks,and rarely any helpful meds and components.

“This should be enough coins to buy us Nuka-Colas and some snacks.Can’t believe people just left ‘em in the fountain things…I think nuka-cola is better than toxic water,” you say,putting a bunch of coins into the vending machine.“Do you want a normal Nuka-Cola,Wild,Quantum,Victory or Quartz?” Kenny yawned,“I’ll take a Quartz.”

“And snackwise?”

“Snackcakes,we can share a box.”

“Awesome,” you say,pressing the correct buttons.Some snackcakes,a Nuka-Cola Quartz, a Nuka-Cola Victory and change. You walked over to where he was sitting.Brick planters make pretty good seating areas,and fit the cobble path.You handed him his drink,sat down and placed the box of pre-war snackcakes between you two. “Thanks.Can I open your bottle for ya?” he asks,glancing over at you with a smile.“Please,” you murmur in reply,handing him the neon red drink.He took out a flipknife,and popped the cap off.“Here ya go,” he says,handing the bottle back to you,then repeating the action with his bottle.“How did the old man not take your knife?”

“I keep quite a few on me.He took most of ‘em,except the one in my shoe,” the blonde shrugs,taking a sip of his drink.“You sneaky bastard,” you laugh,“Can never have too many knives.”

“Yep.” It went fairly quiet between you two.You both just sat enjoying your drinks,snackcakes and surroundings.After a while of comfortable silence,you decided on breaking it.“Wonder if old man crazy’ll give us some time to rest.Can’t really tell time of day or anything here…but I’m pretty tired.” Kenny glanced at you and raised a brow,“You’re tired? Thought being out cold for so long would be a substitute for a really long nap…Guess not.” He stood up,looking around.“Hey old man!” he yells.“Don’t yell…you’ll attract the ghost people,” you mutter,unamused.“What is it now?!” his voice booms through the old speakers.“Can we rest for a while?Six is really tired and I don’t think you want them to mess up and let it end with our heads blowing up.You don’t have the time to look for others to do this either…”

“Well….You have a point there courier lackey.I really want you to finish this…but I don’t want you to mess up and blow up either…Fine.I’ll allow you both to rest for lets say…three hours,but that’s that.Then it’s back to work.“

"Thank you,Father Elijah,” he says,then glances back at you with a smile.“Let’s go find somewhere where you can take a nap,” he murmurs,taking your hand and walking into a random direction.You didn’t think that Elijah would just allow you to rest like that.He doesn’t seem like the type to allow his prisoners to rest when there’s stuff to do.This is also the first time you’ve seen the cloud.Behind a closed gate the toxic redness covered everything.You guessed that’s what killed the person,now a skeleton,that leaned against the gate.You looked around,and saw an opening into a building down the walkway.Now you were the one leading again.“There’s an opening.I’m hoping it’s the entrance to a hotelroom or whatever,and not a shop or deathtrap,” you say.The sounds of inhabitants,as Elijah called them,sent chills down your spine.Even more than there already were.“Watch out for traps…and speakers…and radio’s….and the freaky assholes.If we keep quiet,we shouldn’t attract the inhabitants and then we don’t have to waste ammo.I’m guessing most of ‘em are around the clinic and in dark areas of buildings…like a cliche horror movie,” the blonde says,following after you like he always does.

Cautiously you entered the building,Kenny right behind you.By the looks of it,it was a big hotel like room.There was a pre-war TV,some.couches,a kitchen and stairs leading to the second floor.After making sure there were no mines or other traps or freaks,you head upstairs.Upstairs it looks like a lot of furniture got thrown out or broken.There was a bed,one broken bedside table,one intact,a coffee table and two broken seats.There was also a door leading to a small balcony.“Pretty nice room if it weren’t well…"

“Broken…?“

“Yeah."

Upon closer inspection,there were two skeletons in the bed,holding each other close.Such a tragedy."Guess they were sleeping when the bombs dropped….” you say,looking down at the bare bones under the covers.“Or…they were getting it on…that’s a possibility,” Kenny shrugged,sitting on the bedside cabinet.You wanted to argue,but,it was a possibility.“Wow…that would be the worst way to go,” you say quietly.“Even worse if it was someone cheating on another…” Kenny added,“…Alright.So,let’s get these skelebones out of the bed so you can rest.” You gave a nod,and tried to pull the skeleton on your side from the other,while Kenny pulled the other one.They fell apart,which was obvious.They’re 200 year old bones.You two grabbed ends of the blanket and dragged the makeshift bag of bones off of the bed.“I almost feel bad,” you sigh,sitting on the bed.Kenny sat down on the cabinet again,“I don’t feel bad.I mean…we don’t know their story.Maybe it was a one night stand…or one abused the other…it could’ve been drug abusers or alcohol abusers…or even the scenario where one was cheating on the other,and it was the cheater and their secret lover…” You raised your brows,“Didn’t think into it that much…You always been so deep Kenny?”

“Hey,you should be resting,not talking to me,” he says in reply.“Don’t you want to rest?” you ask quietly.“Nah,I’m fine.I’ll keep watch,so nothing attacks us,and I’ll keep track of time too.”

"Can you at least sit next to me then? I…mean..just so y'know…the time is on my pipboy.Might make it easier for you to keep track….“ you ask.You felt awkward asking this,and it is just an excuse for him to sit with you,but hopefully he doesn’t see that."S-Sure.Hey,you want my jacket? You look kinda cold…”

You hesitated for a moment,”Won’t you be cold then?” Kenny snorted,”Course not.” He took off his jacket,and handed it to you,”It isn’t that bad.I’ve ran in snow in nothing but shorts and a t-shirt.” He pulled down his bandana too,which was a rare thing of him to do.He wore the bandana to hide the ghoulified places on his chin,cheek and neck.You laughed,”I know.I was there.You were so drunk after that drinking competition with Stan...The locals actually paid us to catch your drunk ass and to leave.” The blonde chuckled,”Oh yeah...Good times.” You both sat in silence with grins,remembering the shenanigans from before you got yourselves into this mess.The silence lasted a good few minutes,with you all snuggled up in Kenny’s jacket and staring into the void,and him laying back,staring up at the ceiling.

In total it’s been an hour since Elijah allowed you to rest.You're tired,that’s a fact,but something about staring at the patterned wallpaper in front of you,thinking about the most random of things was more interesting than sleeping.

“Hey Six?”

You snapped out of your daydreaming state and sat up.You looked at Kenny with a sheepish smile.”Y-Yeah?” He continued staring up at the ceiling,”Have you ever liked someone before...but too scared to say it?” He glanced at you with a questioning look,waiting for an answer.You swear you could feel your heart skipping a beat at the question.

Play it cool.Don’t panic.It was just a random question.

“A-All the time....Well...from what I can remember anyways,” you answer quietly,staring down at your hands.”Same....” he replies,staring up at the ceiling again.Awkward silence.A bunch of random thoughts crossed your mind.What if you end up failing?Tweek and Clyde are missing.What if they’re dead?Or hurt? What if none of you make it out and die to the cloud or your own insanity like those who were here before you? That would mean that you’ll never get the chance to tell Kenny how you feel about him.At least you won’t get rejected then,which is good.You’d all die though,which is bad.

Suddenly you’re filled with determination,confidence. Screw all those bad thoughts.You are going to save your friends.You are going to leave the casino alive with everyone.You are going to kick that crazy old man’s ass for trapping you all here.But,just in case you don’t make it...

“Kenny?”

“Yeah?Is it time to hit the road again?”

“N-No.It’s something else”

Kenny sat up straight,”Okay...What is it?” You had his full attention now. This is the first time you saw his eyes up close.They were a nice shade of blue.”Holy shit your eyes are pretty,” you say.You then realized what you said,and regretted it instantly.You’re blushing,and it’s easy to notice.Kenny looked down for a moment,trying to hide his blush.”Th-thanks...Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“No...I mean,you have really pretty eyes but that isn’t what I wanted to tell you...” You took a deep breath.You were not going to take the cliche path and stutter it out like an idiot,you’re going to just say it.”What I wanted to say is..is that...I like you,Ken.In a romantic way,I mean.I tried to deny my feelings..but as we walked through the Mojave,I found myself falling for you.Hard.The others even started noticing...” He was flustered,and you were too.”I can understand if you don’t like me back in that way...then we can just forget what I ju-”

“Why wouldn’t I like you like that Six? Hell,the day you walked into the Mormon fort,and I saw ya talking to Butters and the other Followers,I got a knot in my stomach.I didn’t understand the feeling at first,but...spending every day by your side,helping you fight,helping you find your way in this world,made me realize...that I fell head over heels for you.I was just afraid that you didn’t feel the same...as dumb as it sounds...” he says with the truest smile.”Pretty sure the others knew about my crush too...heh.” You hugged him,and you didn’t want to let go.He hugged back.He had a cheeky smile on his face,”Y’know...the cliche thing to do now would be to kiss or make out....but we’ll save that for when we’re back in the Mojave and our lives aren’t threatened by an old man on a hologram.”

You kept quiet,only giving a quiet ‘mhm’ as reply.

For the rest of the three hours that was left,you two cuddled.You kept each other warm,and safe.It was a nice feeling,apart from the bomb collars around your necks.You also felt like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders.You didn’t have to hide your feelings for the half ghoul anymore,and knowing that he felt the same,filled you with hope,and even more determination.Now all that was left to do was to find Tweek and Clyde,and the three collars,and finish the crazy old man’s quest.Then find him too...and kick his ass....

Finally I can post Day 1′s oneshot.This thing is over 2000 words.8 days worth of oneshots to go before I can catch up.I’m pretty pleased with this.Don’t know what others would think of it.I think the reason why I’m so behind in writing is because writing the tags is a worse nightmare than actually writing,and it makes me lazy.Whelp,whatever.

After the 25 days are done,I might make this a combination of a rp/ask blog and a blog where you can request oneshots.Of course then the role of the courier will be taken by my new kid,Max.Idk,we’ll see.

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c-a-v-a-l-h-e-i-r-o · 5 years

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Most Powerful Hub Motor for Building DIY Electric Skateboards

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we've also got the front truck assembled with wheels and bearings everything ready to go. you get some truck risers, one for the front and back truck bolts. you also, get some circuitry there to help you connect the motors and the unity together without a headache ok so I'll go through each part with a little bit more detail just so you know exactly what all this does. so firstly we've got the Focbox unity.

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so the for box unity it's so simple to set up.All you've got here is these connectors that go directly into the motor and we've also got a special adapter here which makes it super easy plug it all in run the app it's got an automatic wizard in there that sets it all up for you-you're pretty much ready to go in a matter of minutes we've got standard skateboard components here like I mentioned the risers we've got eight deck bolts and the trucks.

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We've put in hours of engineering research and development we use this stuff on our own Raptor 2, so we've ironed out all the problems we've tweaked it the best we can make it so easy for anyone to build now it's available for you to order check out our website now place your order and we'll get it shipped out worldwide in a matter of days.

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inexcon · 7 years

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RSI Comm-Link: Clean Shot: The Baker Backup

The Baker Backup

Start Transmission

Howdy, folks. Craig Burton here, coming through loud and clear with all the important news haulers need to know. This is another edition of Clean Shot.

Fair warning everyone, we’re desperately over capacity on valuable intel this episode. That means Skinny’s detailed assessment of Juno Starwerk’s latest take on their classic Endurance industrial-class power plant might get bumped to our next show. I hate to do it since I know many of you are waiting to hear how this model stacks up against its predecessors, but Skinny’s got a lot to say about the subtle tweaks they made and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna cut him short.

The reason we’re so tight on time today is because, well, Skinny booked us a hell of a show. Funny how that works, huh? I’ll be speaking with military historian Lavern Carlin about the Eclipse, which the UEE revealed last Friday through the Historical Truth Act. Now that we know this stealth bomber exists, and will soon to be in the hands of Citizens, we’ll find out what haulers need to know about its capabilities. That way you can not only stay safe from them, but also maybe even use one of ‘em to your advantage. Remember, the type of ship you hire for a protection run is, I would argue, almost as important as the pilot hired. Now I know there’s different schools of thought on this, but no matter where you stand, we can all agree that it’s important to know what your options are.

But first, let’s turn our attention to the growing brouhaha in the Baker System, where haulers have been reporting a dramatic increase in wait times at the customs stations checking ships coming from Xi’an space into the UEE. Seems there’s been a huge uptick in not only the number of scans but also the depth of the searches being performed. Rumors have been spinning out of control, with some claiming that the increase may be due to a classified security concern while others believe the reasons behind it are entirely political.

Recently, the Senate announced that it had scheduled a vote on HuXa, Imperator Costigan’s proposed Human-Xi’an Trade Initiative, for Tuesday June 6 SET. With that date quickly approaching, seems politicians and experts of all kinds are flocking to spectrum shows to debate the pros and cons of increased trade with the Xi’an. The recent customs issues in Baker have only fueled the flames on both sides of the argument, while some are even saying that the HuXa vote may be the cause of the crackdown in the first place.

Let’s set the potential causes aside for a moment and focus on the effects. With the tightening of Baker’s customs security entering its sixth day, the backup’s been causing all kinds of headaches for haulers across the Empire. Those of you who don’t work Baker might not realize just how vital it is to our trade with the Xi’an. Let me explain it this way. If you’ve got a Hull-E full of valuable ore from a Xi’an mining operation, and you need to get it back into the UEE, there are only three large jump points you can use. Two of them are located in Baker. This has big rig haulers watching their profits evaporate while sitting in long customs lines, and even has people frantically offloading cargo to different ships that can fit through smaller jump points.

This morning there were even reports of CTR stations in a number of systems suffering from fuel shortages and depleted store shelves — all because CTR is owned by the Jysho Corporation, a Xi’an company. The slowdown has forced station owners to seek out local vendors to restock items that would normally come from Xi’an sources.

Here to discuss with us exactly what’s going on is Jasper Grzenda. He’s the spokesperson for Baker’s Public Sector Union Local #1011 and also a Customs Bureau shift supervisor within the system. He’s been in the thick of it for the past few days, and hopefully has some answers for us.

Thank you for taking the time to talk to us today. I know a lot of haulers out there are wondering exactly what’s going on in Baker. What’s the first thing you would tell them?

Jasper Grzenda: First, thanks for having me on, Craig. If you’re a hauler sitting in one of Baker’s long customs lines, then let me apologize for the inconvenience. I can guarantee you that the Customs Bureau agents currently working the jumps to Pallas and Hadur are doing their very best to get you cleared in a timely manner.

Let’s cut to the chase. What’s going on here, Jasper?

Jasper Grzenda: As you mentioned, Baker is an essential part of Humanity’s trade relationship with the Xi’an. Every day we process more ships and cargo going to and from the Xi’an Empire than for any other system. It’s a massive operation with massive responsibilities, chief among them to ensure we don’t let anything in or out of the Empire that shouldn’t cross our border.

Come on, Jasper, there are hardworking haulers who are getting boned because of the sudden and unannounced changes at Baker’s customs stations. You know as well as anyone that haulers carefully plan and time their routes. That’s how we turn a profit. Doubling or tripling time spent waiting in one of Baker’s customs lines has messed with a lot of good people.

Jasper Grzenda: Trust me, I can sympathize, but we all have tough jobs to do. If anyone knows what it’s like to be overworked and underpaid, it’s the good folks of the Local #1011. Traffic through these two customs stations in Baker has increased significantly over the past few years, yet our budget has barely changed. Everyone here’s just trying to do their job with the resources they have.

Guess I’m more curious about the sudden shift in how you’re doing the job. Some trade groups told me that scans and ship inspections have almost tripled over the past few days.

Jasper Grzenda: And yesterday, the Pallas customs station broke its previous record for the total amount of contraband seized in a day. The increased scans might have slowed things down, but you can’t argue with the results.

It’s a silver lining, for sure, but does it really justify this entire mess?

Jasper Grzenda: Craig, I understand your frustration, but, if I can be blunt, you’ve got a bit of narrow vision here. If you were in system, I’d invite you to the Pallas customs station to see all the illegal goods and contraband we confiscated yesterday. The crates of undeclared weapons destined for who knows where. The shelves overflowing with e’tâm that otherwise would be poisoning our youth and addicting them to a substance that we know next to nothing about. Is tackling these problems not worth the minor headaches being caused by the backlog?

Hey, I’ve got no problems with the increased enforcement, only that its execution was so poorly managed. You guys dramatically increased the scan and search rates without bringing in additional agents to support it. Why would you do this if you didn’t have the staff to handle it?

Jasper Grzenda: Because if we waited until we were properly staffed, then it’d never happen. “Extra resources” and “overtime pay” are not part of the Custom Bureau’s vocabulary. Our budget is already stretched dangerously thin, so bringing in extra agents to expedite the backup just isn’t an option.

So why do it at all?

Jasper Grzenda: We’ve been told many times that a lack of personnel and resources is not an excuse for failing to do our jobs. So we’re doing our damn jobs, Craig.

I just find the timing of all this to be very interesting.

Jasper Grzenda: How so?

Well, this stricter enforcement policy went into effect shortly after the Senate announced a date to vote on HuXa.

Jasper Grzenda: Just because two things happen around the same time doesn’t mean they’re related.

But the Public Sector Union Local #1011, of which you’re a member, has some skin in that game, doesn’t it? The group has been extremely vocal in their opposition to the bill. That’s a fair characterization, right?

Jasper Grzenda: Absolutely. We have to be.

Why’s that?

Jasper Grzenda: Because Baker lacks Senate representation, so there’s no one on Earth advocating directly for us. That makes it our job to bang the drum about what’s not working around here.

So, you can see how trouble at the Baker customs stations right now might draw attention to your cause and, say, get you booked on shows like this to push your agenda.

Jasper Grzenda: I’m only here ’cause you guys commed us.

Because of all the trouble your Customs Bureau is causing over what looks like a political dispute.

Jasper Grzenda: See, this is one thing that rubs me the wrong way about the rest of the Empire. No one pays much mind to Baker until an issue arises. Well, let me just say that if HuXa passes, you all will have to get used to this.

Used to what?

Jasper Grzenda: Long lines going to and from Baker. Some experts are predicting traffic through the system could as much as double if HuXa passes.

Aren’t there measures in the bill that would address and ease your budgetary issues?

Jasper Grzenda: Yeah, but no more than a nine or ten percent increase. To put that in perspective, that much would barely cover the cost of getting us out of this current situation. It’s not even close to what we need to handle the kinds of traffic increases we’re talking about. If HuXa passes, then this might very well be the new normal, and haulers should probably adjust their timetables accordingly.

Then we’ll just have to find other solutions. Bonded cargo. Trusted hauler programs. Hell, might even be a good time for us to look harder for a few more large jumps into Xi’an space. But after being in this business as long as I have, longer lines or not, all I know is trying to limit trade and commerce is never a good solution.

We need to take a quick commercial break. There’s more with Jasper Grzenda around the bend, so keep Clean Shot locked in.

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