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#i was in high school with the last one came out
localemofreak · 2 days
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The One That Got Away.
(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)
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Based on the song:
The One That Got Away - Katy Perry
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Story: you and Eddie were basically high school sweethearts, you were just completely in love with each other- seeming like you were never apart. But one day- you had to move away for college, and not wanting to deal with the stress of long distance, you broke it off with Eddie. More than a couple of years pass and you are now in your late 20’s returning back home for the first time since moving away- you couldn’t seem to forget about what you had with Eddie, but he seemingly moved on.. or did he truly??-
‼️Warning‼️: use of y/n, slight angst, reader moves away, reader and Eddie both get heartbroken, crying, huge time jump, mention of older!eddie, reader gets hurt even more, slight friendly affection, ending is kinda good if you think it is, etc. (please tell me if I forgot anything!)
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The year was 1986- you and Eddie had been dating since you were in junior year (and Eddie’s first retake of senior year) , and you guys were probably the cutest couple in all of Hawkins.
You were just obsessed with each other, spending every second of the day together, the love you had for each other just seeming to never go away.
The year you both graduated, you had planned spending that entire summer with Eddie- just having as much fun you two could have in this small town.
It seemed like it was a continuing cycle- Eddie would come pick you up from your house in his van, he would bring you on a date somewhere around town, you two would then end up making out in his van after (sometimes you two would hook up in the back, but it really depended on the time), then you would go to his trailer and chill around with him in his room until it was time for you to head back home.
You guys just seemed to have everything perfect, there was no issues at all- and Eddie was head over heels in love with you.
He genuinely thought you would be the one he would spend the rest of his life with and he would always tell you that..
That’s why you were so afraid to tell him that you were heading to California for college, but you knew sooner or later he would find out.
And then that dreaded day came..
Eddie was excited to spend the last few days of the summer with you- he had a whole day planned for you and him, but the smile he had on his face as he pulled up instantly turned into a look of confusion as he noticed you bringing boxes out to a small moving truck.
Eddie noticed how you noticed his van had pulled up in front of your house, causing you to quickly move a box onto the truck before you started to try and quickly make your way back inside, obviously avoiding Eddie.
“Y/n??- what.. what’s all this?..” Eddie called out as he made his way out of his van, the confused look still on his face.
You just froze in front of your front door, your back facing him to hide your tear stained face.
You just stayed quiet, hoping that he would just somehow disappear at that moment, but you knew he wouldn’t- and you knew you couldn’t have just left without him knowing, he had to know.
“I’m leaving..” you mumbled with your head down, Eddie couldn’t even hear what you said as he made his way towards you.
“Wait what?- y/n look at me please..” He said, still giving a confused look as he moved his hand to rest on your shoulder, trying to force you to turn and look at him.
You just quickly pushed his hand off your shoulder and shook your head, letting out small sniffles as you finally turned to face him with your tear stained face.
“I’m leaving Eddie.” You said, your tone slightly sharp which caused Eddie to furrow his eyebrows slightly, just still so confused about what was happening.
“W- okay wait, what do you mean you’re leaving??..” he said, looking down at you as he tried to bring one of his hands up to wipe the tears off your cheek.
Your hand just instantly came up to stop his, pushing it back towards his chest pretty harshly which caused him to look at you with a slight shocked look on his face.
“I told you a while ago I was planning on going to college Eddie.. in California- I’m leaving today.” You muttered through silent tears, shaking your head as you started making your way back inside your house.
Eddie’s brown eyes just widened as he quickly followed after you inside.
“Wait you never told me this-! I thought you were gonna stay here with me.. baby- wait please-!” He said, obviously panicking a little as he quickly stopped you as you got to the stairs, his hands moving to grab yours as he turned you to face him.
“Eddie please- I get that you want to just live your life carefree but I need to worry about my future okay??” You said through sniffles, pulling your hands away from his as you quickly started making your way upstairs to grab more boxes from your room.
“But what about OUR future y/n?!- the future that we promised ourselves?!” He called out, honestly totally freaking out over the fact you were moving away as he quickly followed you into your room.
As you grabbed a box, you noticed how he had basically blocked the doorway with his body, refusing to let you continue trying to run off while he talked to you.
“There is no future between us Eddie-!! Okay?? How can there be a future between us when I’m fucking halfway across the country?!!” You screamed at him, honestly not giving a shit if your parents could hear you from downstairs.
Eddie just looked at you with wide eyes in shock, you had never screamed at him before- he just stared at your red, tear stained face as he took a moment to comprehend what you just said.
“Wh-what… what do you mean by that baby?.. come on, you don’t actually mean that sweetheart..” he said, his voice soft since he was just kinda in shock- he didn’t want what he was thinking, to be the truth.
“Eddie this isn’t going to work out between us..” you muttered out with quiet sobs.
Those words just instantly hit Eddie like a train- his heart fell and shattered into his stomach, his face instantly dropped and his eyes started to fill with tears.
There was a slight ringing in his ears, what you said couldn’t be true- maybe he was just dreaming, maybe he was just having a truly bad dream and he would wake from it any second.
But seconds passed.. and it didn’t seem like he was waking up at any moment.
“..so- you’re just breaking up with me??..” he finally managed to mutter out quietly, his eyes full of tears and pain as he looked down at you.
You just stayed quiet, small sniffles escaping from you as you shook your head and looked down- unable to look up at him as small tears trailed down your face.
“Just like that-?.. we’re done??..” he got out in his shaky voice, his brown eyes slightly glaring at you.
You could tell he was upset and hurt- you could just feel the pain and anger from the glare he was burning through you.
He loved you more than anything in this life, and here you were- breaking his heart.
“Eddie.. you know I love you-” you got out quietly, your red puffy eyes finally moving to look at him.
His face was now red and just full of tears as he stood there, his fists clenched at his side- he didn’t know how to react.
At that moment he wanted to just punch a hole through your wall, but also he wanted to just break down on the ground and sob, just wanting to curl at your feet and beg for you to try and work things out.
But his body just couldn’t get him to do either besides freeze there while staring at you.
You decided after a moment of just staring at each other to make a move, your body slowly shuffling towards him as your shaky hand moved up to cup the side of his face.
You noticed how his eyes moved from your face to your hand, just looking down at it for a moment before looking back at your tear stained face- not saying a word.
“I didn’t want to do this Ed’s- you know that..” you whispered out through sniffles, looking up into his brown doe eyes.
But Eddie just shook his head and took in a deep breath, one of his hands moving to slowly pull yours off his face.
“No y/n… it’s fine- I’ll just get going now, I don’t want to slow you down.” He muttered out, his voice quiet but also slightly sharp sounding as he let out a tiny huff- his body moving to take a step back from you.
Your eyes just filled with more tears as you watched him instantly distance himself, the hurt obvious in his face and body.
You just shook your head as small sobs finally started to escape from you, your eyes watching as he brought his gaze down and instantly stormed out of your room.
You just broke down, your body forcing you to your knees as you leaned against your bed- the sound of heavy sobs escaping from you as you heard the front door swing open before slamming shut.
You just couldn’t seem to get your body to move- you were just stuck crying on the floor, all alone in your room full of small boxes.
Soon enough, your parents had slowly come upstairs, deciding to let you have your moment as they moved the boxes for you.
And after a moment- you managed to collect yourself, just completely numb with your tear filled eyes as you helped them put the rest of your shit into the truck.
This was just another step in your life, one that you needed to just walk over and move on from-
One big step.
-time skip-
It had been a pretty long since you have been back in Hawkins.
Yeah, you would visit here and there for holidays- but you never genuinely stayed and rested down back in your hometown.
You had decided to stay in California and lived there after you managed to find a pretty good job- you had even managed to find a few guys here and there and pretty much seemed to move on with your life.
But there was always that one thing stuck in the back of your mind- that being Eddie.
God you missed him- you missed what you had with him, you missed all the fun you used to have with him- you just missed him.
But it had been years, you were now in your late 20’s- you should have forgotten about him by now, he was just some high school boy that you loved, but it was way more that that..
and you knew it.
You had arrived at your parents place, being super glad they decided to let you stay with them for the time being until you find a nice little place either in or right outside of Hawkins.
You just missed home, after living in California for so long- you had started to get homesick, missing all your friends and family.. and certainly other things.
Currently, it was around 4:30 pm and your mom was starting to prepare a little ‘welcome home’ meal for dinner.
You had decided to help out, missing the feeling of just spending time with your mom after being away from her for so long.
As you guys were preparing dinner and shit- your mother had noticed that she had forgotten one thing, and she didn’t have any more currently.
So just to be nice and take the worry off your mother, you had offered to drive to the store to go pick her some up real quick- which she instantly appreciated.
You just instantly grabbed your jacket, quickly put on your shoes before you grabbed your car keys and sped out the house- just quickly getting into your car so you could pick up what she needed before dinner was finished cooking.
And when you got there, you did what you needed to do.
You walked into the store, grabbed what you needed, paid for it, and started making your way out the store.
You didn’t really recognize anybody in the store, I mean- you didn’t have a lot of friends to be honest living in Hawkins even though it was a pretty small town.
As you made your way back to your car, softly humming to yourself and just minding your own business- you heard a familiar voice.
You froze for a moment, just standing by your car as you listened to the voice speaking to somebody- at first it didn’t really click to you..
Who was it??..
As you slowly turned your head to look over at the person speaking, revealing their identity to you- you just froze.
You could recognize the long messy brown hair anywhere- the big shiny smile, the tall stature, the iconic brown doe eyes.. you could recognize them anywhere.
It was Eddie.
You knew it was rude but you couldn’t help but stare with wide eyes- he was even more beautiful now than he was in high school.
He had gotten more muscular, more tattoos that covered more of his arms and hands, also managing to see some poke out from the top and bottom of his shirt as he moved around carrying paper bags full of groceries.
He had grown a little scruff on his face and overall just looked more older and mature- this Eddie was wayyyyy different than the scrawny boy you dated in high school, he was now a man.
Out of instinct you wanted to go up to him, say hi, just try to make conversation with the man you once loved more than anything.
And you were genuinely planning on it- but as you took a small step away from your car, you froze once again as you saw a little girl quickly run up to Eddie and wrap her little arms around his legs.
She looked about 5, she had blonde hair that was wavy like Eddie’s slight curls- and she had the cutest little smile on her face as she happily squealed ‘daddyyy!!’ at almost the top of her lungs.
And as you stared, watching Eddie smile big down at the little girl while trying not to trip over her- his hands still full of groceries, that’s when you saw her.
A tall blonde woman- she looked gorgeous, she could have honestly been a model with how beautiful she was.
You watched as she appeared from around the car’s other side- a little grin on her face as she walked up to Eddie and quickly scooped up the little girl before pressing a small kiss to his lips.
Your heart just seemed to slightly jump up into your throat, and you just automatically put the pieces together.. you weren’t stupid after all.
Eddie had moved on with his life- he had gotten a wife, had a child- he had moved on.. completely forgetting about you.
You had definitely been staring for way too long, because as soon as the woman stepped away to put the kid in the back seat- Eddie’s eyes had glanced over, instantly making eye contact with you.
He seemed to instantly recognize you by the way his eyes widened, and his face dropped slightly- the same way it dropped when you broke up with him years ago.
You just felt a slight shock run through your body, instantly pulling you out of whatever trance you were in as your face turned red in embarrassment.
You just quickly shook your head and looked down, not wanting to waste another second of being there before you just quickly got back into your car and sped back off home.
You tried to play it cool for dinner- keeping casual conversation but not saying too much, also not staying too quiet to accidentally cause your parents to question you.
You just felt absolutely heartbroken with what you saw at the store, this is what is must of felt like for Eddie when you broke up with him- and now karma came back to bite you straight in the ass.
You just decided after dinner to go out and drive around, wanting to try and clear your mind from what you saw.
It had been years, it was obvious he wasn’t going to be stuck on you forever- he had to move on, and so did you..
But why was it so fucking hard?!
You had tried to get with other dudes, but they never worked out- all that you had in your mind was Eddie.. just Eddie.
Why did you ever break up with him-? It seemed to hurt you more than benefit you.
But now it was too late to cry and throw a fit about it- you now had to force yourself to move on, find somebody new.
And what better way to try and move on- then going to a bar??
You weren’t really interested in catching someone’s eye tonight- so you were just in casual clothes, I mean- you still looked nice but you just genuinely came here to drink and distract yourself a little.
You had sat down on the bar, quickly ordering yourself a drink.
You sat there for a while, staying to yourself as you looked down at your glass, just lightly fiddling with the rim of the glass.
“Funny to see you here..” you heard a voice say- and you instantly recognized it.
It caused a slight wave of shock to run through your body once again as you quickly picked your head up and sat up, your eyes slightly wide as you glanced over.
And there he was- Eddie Munson.
You didn’t notice how he had slid into the seat next to you, you didn’t even know when he arrived.
You noticed how he looked relaxed, there was slight tenseness in his shoulders as he sat up, but overall he seemed like he was trying to make sure you were comfortable.
“W-what are you doing here?..” you had managed to get out, your fingers nervously playing with the rim of your half empty glass.
Eddie had placed his arms on the bar, putting his tattooed and ring covered hands together as he rested against his elbows.
Your eyes had glanced down at his hands, instantly noticing the wedding band on his left ring finger.
But his eyes were on you- studying your face and eyes as he noticed you seem to slouch slightly while his eyes glanced down to his hands as he saw you looking at his wedding ring.
“Oh just.. y’know.. grabbing a drink, decided to come out and get out of the house..” he muttered, just letting out a small awkward cough as he moved his hands off the bar, causing your eyes to inevitably meet his.
They were soft, almost like a look of sympathy- it was like he could read your mind, but really he could just tell and know what you were thinking just by the look on your face.
“I’ve seen you got married.. had a daughter- they’re both beautiful-” you hummed out, just instantly getting to the elephant in the room as the bartender brought Eddie a beer.
You could hear the small sigh escape from his nose as he nodded his head and took a sip of his beer- just sitting there silent for a moment as he looked down at the bottle in his hand.
“Yeah.. they are my world.. we’ve been married for like three years.. and then we had her when we were still dating..” he muttered, his eyes moving down from the beer bottle back to you as you just nodded your head and sighed softly.
You would be lying if you said it wasn’t awkward- you two were literally the definition of awkward at that moment.
“Well- I’m happy for you.. truly.” You said, a soft tone in your voice and look on your face as you slowly brought one of your hands up to gently rest on his shoulder.
Eddie’s brown eyes just glanced over at your hand for a moment, sitting there quietly for a little bit before he looked back at you and gently lifted your hand up- deciding to hold it in his as he made eye contact with you.
“I want you to know y/n- you were the love of my life.. and I will still love you forever- even if we can’t be together..” he muttered softly, his hand giving yours a small squeeze as you felt his thumb run circles against the back of your hand gently.
You seemed to get teary eyed slightly as you looked into his eyes, a tiny sniffle escaping from you as you nodded your head lightly.
“And I will always love you… I always have Eddie- no matter what..” you whispered out as tears started to fill your eyes slowly.
Soon, Eddie’s hand had moved from holding yours to slowly hold the side of your face- a soft look in his eyes as he gently wiped away your tears with his thumb.
“Hey.. no crying on me, you know it hurts my heart-” he joked, a little stupid smirk appearing on his face which you couldn’t help but let out a tiny giggle at.
No matter what- Eddie always knew how to make you smile, even if you were sobbing and having a complete breakdown- he was always there for you to help and make you feel better.
“I’ll always be here for you sweetheart..” he said, his voice soft as he continued to look into your eyes.
You both just sat there for a moment- staring into each other eyes and just enjoying each other’s presence.
You even had decided to catch up on each other’s lives, and it was like you were back in high school joking and talking with Eddie.
Soon enough, it had started to get late- and Eddie had to get back home to his wife and daughter before he got in trouble.
You sat on the bar stool as Eddie stood up, leaving money to pay for his drink, as well as yours.
“It’s on me tonight, okay??- just, make sure to get home safe and we can still be friends… just- call me if you ever need me.” He said, his hand resting on your shoulder as he stood behind you.
You just gave a soft smile and nodded your head- and before Eddie walked off to leave, he placed a small friendly kiss on your cheek.
You couldn’t help but blush a little bit as you gave his hand on your shoulder a small squeeze.
“Byeee Eddie~” you said with a little grin, saying it slightly exaggerated to hint at him that he should really start heading home.
Eddie just let out a small chuckle and shook his head, giving a little bye before he finally left- leaving you at the bar to let you finish your drink and use his money to pay for your drink.
You had a relaxed smile on your face- just glad that even through everything.. you still were able to have Eddie in your life, even if it meant you guys were only friends.
(A/n: this took me so long to finish like holy shit, but I hope you liked it- 😭)
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sheisjoeschateau · 3 days
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"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | Part IX (FULL)
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⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4, post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+
CHAPTER IX WARNINGS/NOTES: t.w.'s - language, innuendo / sexual undertones, mention of dr*gs and abuse and childhood trauma, Max in a coma, talks about death, difficult confrontations. 18+
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the 9th chapter, written in full. Not action packed, but vital to the plot. Lots of beautiful moments in here that I really took my time with writing because at this point, I am just so in love with this concept. We learn more about Bauman's past. Steve and Jonathan finally have that talk. Murray is a proud uncle. The kids are adorable. Steve's dream isn't only his. And everyone prepares for doomsday.
Bonus: If you love the song "This Little Life," well then you are in for a treat. It heavily inspired this chapter, and it will be back...
PROOFREAD UNTIL MY EYES BLED. IF THERE ARE STILL TYPOS, SORRY BOUT IT. 18+
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Steve Harrington was no stranger to nightmares.
He’d learned how to endure them.  Over the years, he made friends with his demons.  So much so, it got to a point where he got too used to having them around.  He just nodded at them as they lurked in the darkest corners of his sunshine mind, letting them exist as lonely, miserable wallflowers who were never noticed in the daylight when he was awake…waiting for their fleeting moment of popularity after dark, when his eyes were shut.  He didn’t address them when he was awake. Because if he addressed them, that would mean they were real. But if he let them have their way at night, forgetting them the next day and acting like they did not exist, that meant they had no power over him. They didn’t mean anything. They were nothing. 
They meant nothing.
At least, that’s what Steve told himself. 
Every night before shutting his eyes, he steels himself for whatever hell he was going to face. From the ripe age of four, he learned to simply expect the unexpected when it came to sleeping. Sleep was never going to be his friend — whether he was sleeping alone, or with a friend, or holding naked girl in his arms. Steve was made to suffer in his sleep. His subconscious was a world that was built upon a foundation ruled by the reality of absent parents, being an only child, high school flings that left him longing and the endless search for love. It consisted of repeated dialogues — sometimes the incessant arguing between his parents, or the jabbering of Tommy H. and Carol, or hearing Nancy chanting bullshit, along with all the other voices of people who filtered in and out of his life.  Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.  
Sometimes, Steve was running away from his own voice in his head. There were nights when, within his own nightmares, he himself was the nightmare. That really came into effect during his last year of high school and the summer after he lost Nancy. Adding the entire element of the upside down into his life only fed his nightmares. They were bad before, they were bad then, and they were worse now. 
Trauma after trauma, loss after loss, fight after fight, bloodshed upon bloodshed. 
Every punch to his eye. Every word slapped across his face. Every other worldly creature he was made to battle. Every moment he was paralyzed with fear of losing one of his kids. 
Nightmares loved Steve. And they knew exactly where to find him, every single night.
But right now, sleeping next to you, it wasn’t nighttime. It was still day. Daylight shown through the windows of your assigned guest room in the Harrington house — curtains drawn, and the gloomy afternoon sky filtering the space around you both.
And here he was, fast asleep with his cheek resting on top of your chest, as your heartbeat thumped against his ear. One of his toned arms was looped around your waist, having closed his eyes and letting the steady rise and fall of your chest lull him to sleep. Steve had been fighting sleep for the last two nights. Especially the night after you died in his arms. He had just barely brought you back to life, and he knew that as bad as his nightmares had been before…all of them amounted to nothing compared to the nightmares that would undoubtedly follow him after that. Steve wanted nothing to do with sleep. He was damned for all eternity when it came to sleep, and it was sure to bring him a life of insomnia after the real life nightmare that he was made to face when wide awake. 
That’s the beauty of being asleep: you have to wake up.
Steve told himself that every night before he went to bed. He told himself that no matter how bad it got, he would still wake up. And once he woke up, it would be over.
He learned to do that after he went to the county fair one year with his friends, back in middle school. He’d gotten on a ride, peer pressured by Tommy H. and not wanting to look like a chicken. 
Every second of the ride, Steve was petrified. 
He wanted off, he wanted off, goddammit let me off he shouted.  
Then he remembered having been told by the county fair worker that the ride lasted four minutes.  Steve took a deep breath, realizing he’d likely been on it for already half that time. So he counted to himself. Counting down the last half of the ride, he told himself over and over: eventually, this ride has an end.  
Sure enough, when it did finally come to an end — and when everyone was let off the hellish escapade — Steve realized that he had found the glitch in the matrix. The warp in time. The secret superpower to conquering fear. Suddenly, he wasn’t so afraid anymore. Which is why now, whatever nightmare he was made to face, he would endure it — knowing that the sweet relief of waking up was just right around the corner. 
And after all: stranger things had been proven real in Steve’s real life, far more than in his wildest dreams. 
Loving you had turned out to be the strangest thing of all.  
Even more so, the lack of nightmares that came with that was also strange…
Because right now, as Steve finally succumbed to sleep instead of fighting it, lying next to you…he was not trapped in a nightmare. His subconscious did not have him roaming the unpredictable pathways that led to the darkest corners of his mind. His demons had ceased their dance. Vecna, and all his other worldly monsters, were not the stars of this particular show. Steve was not trapped in the midst of jabbering chants coming from the voices of all the people that he loved, all the people who had betrayed him, or even the voice belonging to himself. 
For the first time in years, Steve Harrington was dreaming.
It wasn’t anything drastic. Nothing that could exhaust him, to where any hours of sleep hadn’t felt like any sort of sleep at all. In fact, his subconscious state was…serene. Quiet, peaceful. It was almost unsettling in a way. 
Little bursts of yellow — pastel and sunshine and lemon — colored the dark walls inside his mind. A light breeze gently wooshed in the distance, coming seemingly from nowhere but still fanning his face and the flop of his perfect hair. Somewhere, someone was humming. Almost like a bird, or the sound of a foghorn super far off in the distance. Maybe even the distant drums of a far away land. The rhythm came and went, but it kept him company. As if it were some little song made up in his head as he went along, saying, “Hey, I’m right here. We are in this together.”
On the other side of Steve’s closed eyelids, you laid beneath him in his yellow crewneck. The air you breathed softly, in and out of your nose, fanned across his forehead and his perfect hair. And while your heartbeat was not even, it was there — beneath his ear, drumming in a makeshift pattern, inventing its own rhythm as it went. 
In the real world, your uneven heartbeat reminded you both that you yourself were not in the clear. Not yet. 
But currently, in this new world that Steve’s subconscious had just discovered, it reminded him that he was no longer alone. Not with you.
In the real world, Hawkins is in trouble. Cursed. 
And while none of you had figured out how to break that curse just yet, along with Vecna’s…one curse had been broken.  
You’d broken the curse to Steve’s endless nightmares.
But would this world even allow for you both to explore a future together, in which you had broken this dark spell cast over Steve Harrington’s life…?
***
Seeing Nancy shuffling out of Argyle’s room is the last thing Jonathan ever could have expected. And he’d seen a lot of shit that prepared him for the unexpected.
The perplexed look in her eyes. The determination in her step to get the hell out of there, despite clearly having been given some sort of useful information after sharing God-knows-what conversation with his Cali best friend. 
The two lovers at war made eye contact. It was quick, fleeting. But tense.  
Eddie and Robin watched as Jonathan turned to stare at Nancy over his shoulder, and how she froze for a moment to stare back at him through her glassy, wide blue eyes. Her gaze, fixed on him, went from longing to hardened. Nancy walked away, and Jonathan letting her without a word only motivated her to keep walking.
And now, Jonathan had been in Argyle’s room for a good long while. Eddie and Robin had left behind their own little comforting conference of sorts to join the adults downstairs, while the kids had set off in other directions of the Harrington house. 
But before that, during all the upstairs drama, Joyce and Murray had been having some drama of their own in the basement.
“You did what?!”
By now, Murray had recounted every single part of his story and how he’d played a huge role — along with you — in how her son had ended up with Nancy Wheeler. Murray’s once upon a time had rendered her speechless. 
Even Hopper — who’d heard them go downstairs and immediately followed when he heard Joyce start rocking the boat as she pressed Murray for information — now stood there beside Joyce, having just listened to everything – stunned.
Because when in the world did you all have time to fall in love, fall out of love then fall back in love / new love like this? How the fuck were you all managing that on top of the upside down mayhem?
“May I remind you both how you two lovebirds have spent the last few years developing your own slowburn of a story arc?” 
Murray’s question was dripping in condescension. But it was valid. It also came from the heart. He loved these two humans to death. And they loved him back.
While Joyce felt an enormous amount of joy that her son had ended up with the girl he loved…her heart ached for Steve. She’d grown to love him like her own over the years, especially these last several months as she lived under his roof. She had no idea just how broken up he’d been about Nancy. Joyce couldn’t help but feel…almost guilty.
But Hopper was shaking his head with a sort of proud grin, noting how as much as Murray had been the one to rock the boat — you had been its captain at the wheel. He pointed out how you had steered that wheel without even trying. 
“Were they even friends in high school?” Hopper asked curiously. “Harrington and Bauman — I can’t see your niece even having time for him back then when he was a punk.”
Murray went on to proudly confirm that assessment, along with explaining how you’d simply participated in your Uncle Murray’s meddling because you happened to be there that night and it’s just a sort of family tradition that you both had formed over the years. And when Joyce asked him how someone like you had not been swept up already by some guy, Murray had scoffed. He looked bitter — in the way that a protective parent is on behalf of their own kid.
“My niece deserves the world. Not one stupid guy at that high school could give her a mere city, let alone a globe’s worth. Doesn’t mean she didn’t…try. I know she was into one guy for a good while at one point. Some friend she’d made with one of the athletes who shared A.P. classes with her. She helped him study. Something she never did, unless it was with the girls and guys from her class that had weekly study group nights. But this kid she liked…he was smart, and he liked her back. She more than liked him…and he let her. Then, as all the petty high school boys do, he ditched her and all her efforts and hours spent studying and helping him pass his classes with flying colors…for a bimbo. A blonde, hip shaking, Pom-pom waving babydoll who’s all body, no brains.”
Joyce frowned. “Bauman is beautiful. She’s body, beauty and brains.”
“Yeah well,” Hopper mumbled, shaking his head disdainfully. “In high school, if you’ve got a dick, we’re letting it do the talking for us.”
“Point is,” Murray continued. “It hurt her. Big time.  But that’s the thing about my niece. Given our Bauman blood, we don’t easily succumb to our sentimental feelings. We just let it broaden our dark comedic chops and cynical worldview. My niece doesn’t have mommy or daddy to run home to and cry. She’s an only child, so no siblings to help care for and bond with. Yeah, she’s got friends. But mainly at school. She’s got herself…and she’s got me.” Murray smiled at that. “Between me and her grandmother, we’ve been the ones that raise her. But to be perfectly honest, my niece pretty much raised herself.”
Hopper’s heart clenched. For both you and your uncle. 
“She’s great, Mur,” Hopper murmured. “You’ve been there for her and it shows.”
Murray was quiet at that. He hated compliments. But he didn’t flinch or get snippy. He actually looked humbled, silently appreciating this observation. 
Joyce sighed. “Murray…you really have been an incredible uncle to her. I know that I’ve…given you a hard time about things, but…really. You’ve never missed with her.”
Murray was still quiet. He looked everywhere but at his two best friends for several beats. Finally, he gave a curt nod. But it was grateful, and full of love. Mainly for you.
“That’s my kid.”
Murray’s voice cracked a bit. It was the most unusual sound in the barren basement of the Harrington house, bouncing off the walls despite its soft decimal in volume. The tight lipped grin on his face as he finally made eye contact with Joyce and Hopper said it all. He loved the shit outta you, like any good parent loves their kid.
“I didn’t get the white picket fence life. Or a lifelong love story with some gal. I got dealt a crazy family of addicts and narcissists and loons. Had a brother who married a gal from rehab, got her pregnant while they relapsed and went forward with having a kid that didn’t stand a damn chance at surviving it.” 
Murray pursed his lips before he continued. “That’s the first goddamn miracle I’ve ever witnessed. That little fetus somehow made it, all of 5 pounds at 9 ounces. Ready to get the fuck out of the womb and live. It made for an early arrival and the risk of being premature, on top of being a crack baby.”
Murray’s eyes shone with a certain kind of fondness. It held both sadness and joy. And his voice was the gentlest it had ever been as he spoke about you.
“She didn’t have one thing wrong with her. Not one thing. Perfect lungs. Perfect heart. Perfect brain activity. Not cursed from the drugs that coursed through her mother’s veins and doomed her life from the start. That kid’s been outsmarting everyone in her life since she was a seed.” 
Joyce and Hopper couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Their eyes shone with Murray’s, having been parents themselves and unable to fathom being so reckless when bringing life into this world.
“I didn’t get my own kid,” Murray continued. He looked at Hopper. “I didn’t get a Sarah.” Then to Joyce, “Or a Jonathan, or Will. A kid who’s my own flesh and blood that I’d fight for to the bitter end.”
Murray stood there, resolute in what he was getting at. “But I got her. I got a niece who loves me. After she was born, I got my dad’s mom to take her in while I traveled and worked. She’s the only family member I’ve bothered keeping in touch with.  She’s an odd one.  But she had a home and money and willingness to take in a stray.  She never thought she’d ever get a granddaughter.  Don’t even think she really wanted one much till she was handed one to take in. Between the two of us, we raised her. She got thrown at whoever would take her and that was fine with me. Meant she still had a damn shot at a life. That’s what we gave her. The rest? She’s done herself.”
Murray sniffed. Then, smirking at himself — 
“I’d like to think my being an unorthodox parental figure of sorts is why she’s built for the war.”
Hopper grinned at that, swallowing back tears of his own. He squeezed Murray’s shoulder. “Yeah, she is. Kid could survive the damn streets of New York on her own.”
Murray laughed at that, and so did Joyce — she finally shook her head and wiped away a couple motherly tears. She took a deep breath, looking up and shifting gears with the topic.
“You know,” she started. “Call me a hopeless romantic… But I’m pretty sure that Steve Harrington has hopelessly fallen for your niece.”
Hopper snorted. “God, I haven’t ever liked the idea of two youngins together the way I like them.”
Murray grinned big. “Yeah that’s a plot twist even I wasn’t expecting.”  
The cynical gent’s expression suddenly went from warm to grave.  “…don’t ever repeat that.”
The adults all shared a heart laugh at that, making their own comments on how the two mortal enemies turned out to be lovers. Hopper cringed at the word, along with Murray — and Joyce gave your uncle hell for that, given he’s the self-acclaimed mastermind at love. 
“My witch doctor hours are limited when it comes to my niece’s love life,” he argued, but it was all with humor and fondness. “I already orchestrated the basics.”
“Which were…?”
“Calling her out.”
Joyce smiled. “What do you think of them?”
Murray’s expression softened. He contemplated that for several sincere moments. 
“Surprises me to say it…but I think she’s got someone who loves her fully. Will love her fully. There’s actual years there, backing them up. Years of real life shit. Abnormal shit. Valid tension, deeply rooted hatred that turned out to be love. She saw Harrington for who he was, and sees him for who he is. I mean — Jesus, she was there for all of it. Steve Harrington’s redemption arc was witnessed by her just as much as those kids that he’s taken on as a babysitter. Well, and the Robin girl. But that’s…not the same thing as what he’s got with my niece.  No threat there.”
Hopper’s eyes narrowed at that, curious. But Joyce gave Murray an all-knowing grin, knowing what he was getting at.
“I don’t think she’s on the same field,” she winked.
Murray winked back. “Exactly.”
Hopper blinked. “…alright, you guys lost me.”
Joyce waved him off, continuing. “So you like him with her. Maybe even…approve?”
Murray slowly nodded. “Didn’t think there’d be a guy who stood a chance at that. But given the whole…letting us all stay here and saving her life thing…yeah. I’d say I’m very good with those two being together.”
Joyce nudged him with her elbow. “Maybe you should tell him that. Y’know…given you’re at fault for ‘ruining his life,’ too.”
Murray rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, those two never stood a chance with your broody son standing in the way of that.”
“Yeah well…that broody son of mine isn’t making much sense right now,” Joyce shook her head. She sighed, worried. Hopper stroked her back. “I need to talk to him.”
“Lover’s quarrel,” Murray pointed out. “Best let that be up to him and Wheeler.”
“Yeahhh, well,” Hopper sighed. “Emotions are high right now. Maybe a little adult intervention would be good for them.”
Murray patted them both on the shoulders, back to his usual self. “WELP! You two have a large time with that. Meanwhile, I’ve got a date with a second drink calling my name.”
***
You watched Steve sleep on top of your chest, thinking about the words he’d spoken to you before dozing off. 
“What about France? Or Switzerland, somewhere with a bunch of acres and nature and a lake nearby or something?”
You’d smiled at Steve’s question. “How would we get the Winnebago over there?”
He’d stared at you for a moment, eyes sparkling as your words landed. A deep grin formed on his face. 
“You really liked my little dream on wheels, huh?”
You grinned back. “Yeah. It’s not little. It’s big.”
He shrugged sweetly. “I mean, it’s not a mansion. Or a house. It’s a home on wheels. Honestly, a really small home on wheels, but…I dunno, I just — wanna travel. With my family. Not leave them behind at some big house while I go off and explore god knows where without ‘em.”
You played with his fingers, listening to his every word. He wasn’t used to this. Having someone who was happy to just…listen to him ramble. Was he even one to ramble at all? Or is that something you just brought out in him?
“I just dream of this…this little life of sorts,” he continued, speaking to you and also to himself. 
You smiled at his words. “I think I like this little life.”
Steve could sing at your response. Something about that one sentence after he’d just further divulged into what a bright future looked like in his mind made him feel on top of the world. The lovesick joy in his eyes, and in his heart, made you melt.
 “I only want that little life with you,” he whispered to you, cupping your neck as he bent down to press his forehead to yours. You loved when he did that. Too much, way too much.
You nuzzled your nose to his. Steve loved when you did that. Too much, way too much.
“And the nuggets,” you whispered back with the cutest grin. Then, daring to say it — “Our nuggets…”
Steve’s heart soared at that.  Ours…
The happy little laugh Steve breathed against you was the prettiest sound in the entire fucking universe. He caught your lips in a kiss, sweet and soft and firm.
“Your heart needs to get its shit together,” he breathed before kissing you again.
“I know, I know,” you breathed back with that playful attitude he had come to love, gliding your lips against his. “Such a pain in the ass. I know you wanna rail me, Harrington.”
He deepened the kissing, his fingers sliding up from your neck into your hair. “Yeah, god forbid I actually just want you to be okay. I only wanna fuck you senseless.”
You sighed into his mouth, clutching his hips with one of your hands and a fistful of his shirt with the other. “Yeah, you dirty, filthy asshole…”
He sucked on your tongue, cutting you off. “Be nice, princess.”
The two of you had eventually pulled back, knowing that you needed to wait on Dr. Owen’s to bring you whatever goddamn medicine was supposed to help even out your heart arrhythmia. Steve had moved in your arms to rest his head over your heart, cheek pressed to your chest with your heartbeat in his eardrum. You could feel him shaking. So, you made up a little tune as you felt fatigue taking over you.
“I think I like this little life…
This little life…
I think I like this little life…
This silly little life.”
You could tell it made Steve smile as he held you closer. He murmured something sweet to you about liking the improvised melody, to which you murmured something back about it becoming a hit one day. Steve let your soft spoken singing play in his mind, giving him the sweetest of dreams as your voice trailed off.
And now, you were awake — humming it again. Steve was still fast asleep on your chest, which brought you tremendous relief. You dared to think it might be the only medicine your heart really needed. 
There was a soft knock at the door. You craned your neck towards the source of the sound, curious. Steve didn’t move a bit. He was out. It made you grin. You sighed lightly, planting a soft kiss on top of Steve’s perfect hair. Slowly, gently — you found a way of standing up without waking him. Little did you know, the sleep he found in your arms couldn’t be bothered easily. He slept harder with you than he ever had in his life.
You padded over quietly to the door, opening it slowly and only enough to show you. Your uneven heart was flooded with warmth as you stared back at 5 familiar faces.
Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Will and Eleven all stood there. They held random things. Board games, snacks, and pillows with blankets.
“We are inviting ourselves for a sleepover,” El said.
“A very unexciting one,” Lucas clarified.
“Yes, no excitement,” Dustin agreed.
“Just some good ole fashioned card games that don’t hit pique anxiety,” Mike added.
“Annnnd drawing,” Will threw in, lifting his bag. “Art is always therapeutic.  Good for the soul.  And the heart.”
You felt yourself getting teared up, looking at their faces with pure love and joy. You chuckled wetly, your chest clenching as you so sorely wished that the sixth nugget was awake to add her sarcasm and unwavering love to the mix.
“Plus it really sucks about the mandate coming soon,” Lucas added sadly.
“Yeah,” Mike nodded. “Before we know it, we’ll all be cramped downstairs in the basement or out there in the middle of nowhere.”
You gave them a sad smile.
“A not-exciting sleepover sounds like a grand plan,” you nodded with a wink. Then, cocking an eyebrow, “So I’m hosting then, huh?”
“Yeah, your room’s bigger than ours,” Dustin said.
“True,” you winked. “Orrrr, we could go over to Max’s room and have her join us?”
All of them nodded excitedly. You smiled, turning back to look at Steve sleeping peacefully in the bed. 
“Gimme a few minutes to wake up mom and tell him that Max needs some attending to first, so that we can successfully host a sleepover in her room.”
They all quietly cheered, carefully moving to set down their array of stuff inside of your room. They caught sight of Steve sleeping, snickering to themselves like they were all 8 years old again. You shook your head at them with the biggest grin on your face, adoring how Lucas and Dustin were just so tickled with Steve being in your room. Will and El were giggling into their palms, with Mike shushing them but snorting himself. That made everyone fight back even worse laughter, and you ushered them out quickly before closing the door behind you. Man, you loved these kids so much.
You went into the bathroom, freshening up a bit and turning on the shower to let some hot steam hit your aching shoulder for a bit.
he sound of Steve murmuring your name made you hold off on that. 
You walked out, beaming at him as he stared in your direction while sitting up. You were back in his arms in seconds, mumbling into his neck.
“Hey, sleepyhead.”
“Jesus, how long was I out?”
“A good chunk of hours.”
Steve groaned, pulling you impossibly closer to him — still mindful of your bad shoulder. You giggled in his grasp. His ears perked up, craning his head up towards the bathroom door as he heard the stream of water running.
“How dare you think of showering without me?” he scoffs incredulously in your arms.
You continued giggling harder as Steve nuzzled his face into your neck, pretending to attack you as he smothered you with groggy affection. 
“Just needed to relieve my handicap a bit,” you sighed contentedly.
With that, Steve rose to stand. He was scooping you up into his arms before you could blink, carrying you into the bathroom. He lifted your shirt off, then his. As you stripped your pants, be took the hair tie from your wrist and ran his fingers through your locks, tying it up with ease. With a kiss pressed to your neck, he took your hand and escorted you into the hot stream of water. You watched Steve wistfully as he shed his pants and joined you.
As Steve gingerly massaged the soap into your shoulder blade, you remembered you needed to tell him about the plans that had been made for you both that evening.
“Baby?”
He hummed in response, loving when you called him that.
“The kids have the evening cut out for us tonight,” you started.
Even with your back to him, you knew his eyebrows were raised. “Oh yeah? What, am I making some crazy dinner feast out of canned goods now?”
You sniffed a laugh, turning to kiss his jaw. “No, we’re on for a sleepover in Max’s room.”
“S’that so?” he mulled, a grin in his voice.
“‘Tis so. That, or in here. But I don’t know if we can move her. Plus, I really want her to hear us all talking as much as possible.”
He exhaled, a kiss pressed to your shoulder. “Alright well, I’ll need to go ahead and get her taken care of before we all take over the room.”
“Sounds good,” you sighed contentedly.
You both finished up, and as you got changed into fresh comfy clothes Steve was eyeing the pile of stuff that the kids had unloaded into your bedroom.
“Damn, they just decided to dump the haul here?” he asked.
You snorted. “Yeahhh, they like to make themselves at home here.”
Steve rolled his eyes, but the fondness behind them said it all. He loved it.  
Noticing you struggle with your shirt, he quickly moved to help you pull it over your bad shoulder carefully. 
“Need to get better at asking for help, angel,” he winked at you, pulling your arm carefully through the sleeve. 
You blushed at that, playfully rolling your eyes. “Noted.”
Steve shook his head as he made sure that your shirt was straight, lost in thought for a moment. “Guess we all won’t be able to hang out up here soon,” he murmured.  “Outside of the basement.”
Your heart sank, knowing he was referring to the impending doom that loomed around the corner with the whole mandate going into effect next week. “Yeah,” you mused. “Might as well make the most of tonight with them before we have to go back to doomsday mode.”
He nodded sadly, planting a kiss to your hair before grabbing your discarded clothes along with his to start a fresh load of laundry. 
“I’m gonna go start a load,” he said. “Check with Hopper on when Dr. Owen’s is getting back here with your meds.”
You sighed. “Yeah, those…”
Steve looked at you solemnly. “Hey.”
You gnawed at your lip, looking up at him.
“You will be okay,” he told you. His tone was firm yet soft. Confident, despite the worried undertone laced around his voice.
You gave him a light smile and nod. 
“I’m serious, Bauman,” Steve continued, his brown eyes boring into yours. “We’re getting you on these meds and if they don’t work, then we…do the next thing that does.”
You knew he was stressed. Too stressed. You hated seeing just how fearful he’d been when he lost you before, and how much the fear of losing you again was eating away at him. Of course, Steve being Steve, he now insisted it would be fine. He’d broken down in front of you when it all happened, unable to stop it. Normally, he’d never let that happen. But given the dark reality of things, and just how much everything else had caught up to him, he wasn’t able to be his usual positive, nonchalant self with you over the last 24 hours.
With a mischievous look in your eye, you patted your chest. You gave it a little knocking rhythm, beatboxing under your breath so that he’d laugh. After a moment of Steve glaring at you, the corner of his lips finally twitched up into a grin. He tried to hide it, but you’d already seen it before he could turn away.
“Don’t worry, Harrington,” you told him. “I’m not even close to being done bothering you.”
He turned to look back at you longingly, a smile ghosting behind the way he bit his lip. He nodded. 
“Don’t think that ever really had an expiration date, did it?” he asks, teasing you in his husky voice that you loved whenever he was getting coy with you.
You smirked. “Never.”
He took a moment to soak you in with his eyes. “Good,” he said.  “I’m keeping it that way.”
You knew what he meant. Don’t you dare fucking leave me again. 
And you had every intention of keeping your word. I’m here as long as you’ll have me.
Steve intended to keep you forever.
“Now,” you said, moving towards him. “Let’s go have a big ole sleepover with these six nuggets so that we can stop the end of the world and have another six later on down the road, yeah?”
Steve glowed. He stuttered a bit, unable to breathe. “Y-you really want that? S-six of ‘em…?”
You shook your head, smiling up at him as you stood toe to toe. “Hell yeah, I want that.”
You kissed his jaw. Then, moving to scoop up a bag of the kids snacks — “That’s more buckets of Halloween candy for us down the line.”
Steve smiled and blushed unabashedly, shaking his head with the happiest eye roll you’d ever seen. 
“So we’re gonna be that family, huh?” he asked, moving to grab a sour gummy from the bag you’d just opened.
“We will win every costume contest, Harrington,” you said seriously, that signature dry humor of yours coursing through your Bauman blood at full speed. “I’m very competitive. Don't worry, the kids will be too busy having a great time to know that their mom is secretly a little psycho.”
Steve tugged at the gummy worm between his teeth with the most mischievous, flirty glint in his eye. You could smell his perfect skin mixed with the scent of the raspberry candy.  “Ahh, so you are mom. Thought I was mom.”
You leaned up on your toes, inching your lips towards his where he still dangled the gummy worm. “In this era? You’re mom. I’m dad. Next one, I’ll be Mommy.”
You bit at the end of the gummy worm, going full lady and the tramp with it like a loose spaghetti noodle. Steve’s lips and teeth stretched into a wide grin, eyes swimming in sex and lust as they looked down at you. You both bit and sucked the gummy worm till your teeth and tongues met. In the lowest, sexiest of husky tones, Steve told you…
“Well in this one? I’m daddy.” 
His tongue lapped your mouth, tasting like sugar sweet candy. “Your daddy.”
Before you could completely dissolve into a hot mess of a puddle, familiar voices from the other side of the door sounded off.
“EEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!”
“STEEEEEEVE!”
“Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god —”
The sound of all your kids gagging and losing their shit were making for an orchestra of triggered teens, and you both jumped at the noise. After gasping, Steve threw his head back and huffed incredulously.
“Seriously??” he snapped. 
You buried your face in your hands, unable to keep yourself from laughing in pure humiliation — but also in adoration.
“You shitheads are listening in, seriously — Jesus.” 
Steve huffed and puffed, but it was clear as day he loved it. You did, too. He moved to open it while you stood back, snickering into your palms with flaming hot flushed cheeks.
“Hello,” he said, voice flat.
“You’re disgusting,” Dustin scoffed.
“And you’re an eavesdropping ass hat.”
“Why do you smell like gummy worms?” Mike asked suspiciously.
“Because you left them in my room, Wheeler,” Steve said wryly.
“Yeah, for tonight!!! For all of us!” Lucas scolded.
“Well Sinclair? Maybe don’t leave your candy unattended in my room.”
“It’s Bauman’s room!” Mike said.
Steve opened his mouth, then shut it. “Right yeah, well. My house, but yeah.”
“Lord, I can’t unhear this,” Will grimaced, but even he was grinning.
“You weren’t supposed to hear it at all,” Steve pointed out defensively.
“If you’re gonna fuck around, you’re gonna find out.”
Eddie’s sing-songy voice was new to the mix as he walked past them all, carrying a bunch of things as he made his way downstairs. “Howdy folks, don’t mind me.”
Steve snapped his fingers, pointing at him as he looked back at his kids. “That. What he said.”
El looked at everyone curiously.  “What does being daddy mean if Steve is that for Bauman —”
Everyone cut her off with sounds of disdain.
“Noooope! Nope, nope nope nope.”
“Nothing, absolutely nothing.”
“La la la la la la la la not talking about this la la la la.”
“Alright, enough,” Mama Steve silenced the kiddos. “Move along.”
“No, we’ve been waiting for 30 minutes,” Mike griped.
“It’s okay,” came your voice as you emerged from the room, standing next to Steve. “Why don’t you kids come on inside while Steve gets Max’s room ready?”
They all took you up on that offer, shuffling past you both and making their way inside. Steve shook his head as you grinned, pinching his side.
“Don’t worry, they’ll be grown up and outta the house before you know it.”
You winked at him before making your way into the room with them. Steve watched you fondly, hands on his hips in true Mom Steve Harrington fashion. He had that signature sexy-sassy look on his face that everyone had come to love over the years — you especially. Despite being annoyed, Steve felt his heart fill to the brim as he watched the kids scatter the bags of candy and show you the card game selections. You were hugging El closely while Dustin pointed out that he had plenty more candy hidden in his backpack. Will was telling you about his newest art collection ideas, and you excitedly listened to him while Mike and Lucas bickered about which games were better for everyone.
“Steve, you’re joining us, right?” Dustin asked.
Steve scrunched his face in confusion, doubling back with his shoulders. “Yeah, wasn’t that already happening?”
Dustin shrugged. “Just making sure you’re not gonna be lame.”
Steve shook his head. You looked over at him as you smiled.
“F’course he’s joining,” you winked. “It’s not a party without mom.”
Steve narrowed his eyes at you playfully, making your shoulders shake with a chuckle. 
He felt more at home in his own house than he ever had in 19 years. 
__________________________
Jonathan watched Steve make his way into Max’s room, knee bouncing.
He was seated in the living room, next to Joyce. She’d cornered him earlier, after watching Nancy move to sit on the porch alone and stare at nothing as she sat on the steps. Robin had moved to join her eventually, giving her company and offering to lend an ear.
That sprang Joyce into action, and she found Jonathan standing outside of Argyle’s room with Will. She’d found them both talking, happy to see her boys were in deep conversation and bonding. She could tell they’d been doing that for a little while now, and when they both looked up at her the three Byers all shared warm, solemn smiles. The boys looked a bit sheepish. Mostly the oldest.
Jonathan knew his mom wasn’t gonna let him off the hook. And if he was being honest, a good honest talk with his mother about something not having to do with the upside down was something he’d needed for a long time.
So they talked. Joyce listened while Jonathan spoke, and he listened while she responded. It was the perfect blend of expressed empathy, disappointment and motherly advice shared on her end. He admitted to the fight with Steve in the alleyway, back when Will was missing. And he admitted to making a move on Nancy while she was still in a relationship with Steve. She brought up Murray telling her about him getting drunk at the Henderson’s house, 2 years back…and he shamefully ducked his head as he wrung his hands. But Joyce just rubbed his back, reminding him she wasn’t here to berate him and only to talk through things the way they always have: as mother and son.
“You know, Jonathan…” Joyce spoke softly, her heart heavy. “I don’t think I ever really thanked you for everything that you did in helping me find Will.”
Jonathan did a double take, brow furrowed. “What’re you talking about, of course you did —”
“No,” Joyce shook her head. “No, we talked about it, sure. I verbally thanked you.”
“Many times, mom,” Jonathan assured her.
“Just listen,” she cut him off gently, clutching his hand. “I lost a son…but you’d lost a brother. We both lost him. Twice. God, twice… and each time was a brand new hell. We didn’t even have time to process the first round.”
Jonathan chuckled darkly. “Would we ever have processed that? I mean really…”
Joyce grinned at that. “Psh, yeah. Doubt it.” Looking back at him with a softened expression, she continued. “Point is…in the midst of all that stress, and searching, and worrying…you were still going through so much. Not just with Will missing…but everything else, too.”
Jonathan listened to his mother as she looked deeply into his eyes, clutching both his hands. She went on to tell her eldest son every validating thing a mother could tell her child. She recounted every single thing that Jonathan had been dealing with outside of Will going missing, and it hurt her to relive it all just as much as it hurt Jonathan to hear it all over again. When Joyce got to the part where she’d had to make them all move, Jonathan’s eyes watered up. 
“You and Nancy were just beginning to dive into things deeply,” she was saying. “Really, you’d both gone through so much together and finally you both got to just…start being a couple, and then it all went wrong again, so that — that forced you both back into the upside down bullshit…”
“Mom,” Jonathan said, a bit shocked.
“I’m serious,” Joyce said back, eyes fierce and full of love. “Jonathan, you’ve had to be an adult since you were just a kid. Since you were Will’s age. And then you finally get into a relationship with a beautiful girl, and immediately you’re thrown into war. Not even able to enjoy your teens going into adulthood. Even Nancy, she…she’s been through so much with you. And now…”
Joyce’s voice trailed off. She sighed, exasperated with herself. She re-centered, turning back to her son.
“I love you,” she told him, eyes full of love. “So much, you just don’t know. You are just…a good person. And the fact you feel overcome with guilt as though you’re not —“
“I haven’t been a good person, mom,” Jonathan murmured, voice wobbly.
“Jonathan,” Joyce whispered, squeezing his hands. “Just because you’ve not acted right in certain ways…that does not make you a bad person. Do you understand that? Because if not — then whoever’s telling you that…whether it’s someone you love, or a stranger, or yourself…stop listening. Seek within. Listen to your heart, because it’s never going to steer you wrong. And no, that’s not just some dumb cliche saying, it’s true. Your mind will confuse you, and your soul will get shaken. But your heart? It will always lead you back.”
Jonathan’s lip trembled, and Joyce held him tight as he shook him her arms. He clung to his mother, overwhelmed.
“I’m afraid I’ll never say enough, mom,” he wept into her shoulder. “To Steve, or to Nancy… I’m actually more sure about what I need to say to him instead of her.”
Joyce chuckled early, squeezing him tighter. “Aw, baby… Don’t overthink. Say whatever is going to give your heart peace. You’ll regret anything you never said far more than anything that you did.”
***
“Trust me kid, I’m in the doghouse now for the hell I raised on the phone with him.”
Hopper stood in front of Steve, along with Murray. They’d just spoken with Dr. Owens on the phone, who’d told Murray that he wouldn’t be able to bring them the medication until tomorrow morning. Murray had managed to remain calmer than Hopper, to both their surprise.  Now, they stood in the kitchen with Steve – filling him in.
Steve took a deep breath through his nose, exhaling just as deeply out his mouth like a puff of air he’d been holding while running a hand through his hair. Murray looked at him with a somber, empathic expression. 
“Doesn’t mean I’m not just as furious about it,” Murray pointed out. “But given the whole…having a target on his back thing…I’m trying to have some sort of grace about it, mostly for her sake. And yours.”
That made Steve look over at him gratefully. He couldn’t imagine the stress your uncle was experiencing, knowing your heart — literally — was on the line.
“Says he’ll be here with it as early as he can be,” Murray added. “Just keep doing what you’re already doing. Which is the most.” His lips turned upwards at one of the corners. “The most, and then some.”
Steve allowed himself to give your uncle a sad smile back, appreciating being seen by him. He’s all that you had as far as family goes. With a nod, Steve let that news settle into his brain. He reached out to shake Murray’s hand, who shook it back firmly and dared to pat his shoulder. Physical affection was so not his thing. But he’d make an effort for the guy his niece was in love with, and who not only saved her life — but was still doing everything he could to keep it intact. 
“Kids sleepover, huh?”
Hopper changed the subject, grinning at Harrington — who chuckled lightly.
“You guys know about this?”
Hopper shrugged. “We might’ve told them to allow themselves some fun for one night, before we all go into lockdown…” His expression turned grim, a thought pushing its way to the forefront of his brain. “And whatever plan needs to go into action.”
Steve knew what he meant. Getting back out there. He swallowed hard, giving him a quick nod. No one was ready for this. But were they ever really “ready” for any of this?
Murray and Hopper told Steve to not give any thought whatsoever to anything relating to doomsday until the next morning. They insisted that they just take the focus on laughing and soaking up the night with you and the kids. Steve was surprised at how certain they both were about it, but despite it being out of character for them in an endearing way…it scared him. It meant that they knew just how much everyone here was at risk. It made a sharp chill run up Steve’s spine.
Eventually, Steve had made his way up to Max’s room. He was sorting through it, making room for you all to camp out there. El had already turned her little cot bed into a floor couch of sorts, which made Steve grin. 
He talked to Max out loud as he checked her vitals. Lucas already had, along with Joyce and Hopper. Still, he always wanted to make sure. 
“Not sure if this is gonna be one of those nights where I’ve gotta make Dustin cut the attitude during games,” Steve was telling her with a smirk as he straightened her pillows. “Honestly, it’s probably an excuse for Mike and El to be able to cuddle at night. So I’ll likely be chaperoning the entire night. Good thing I got mad good sleep with Bauman today.”
Steve moved to close the curtains, watching the sun begin to set behind the trees in the distance. It looked dull, given all the debris and toxic air.
“You know what’s crazy?” he asked her.  “Ever since I started sleeping with her — like actually sleeping, head outta the gutter Max — it’s…I haven’t had a single nightmare. I always have those.”
He moved to discard some of the kids’ loose candy wrapped and one of Dustin’s empty pudding containers, glancing over at her sleeping form.
“Seriously, it’s weird. It’s like she just…makes them all disappear.” Steve scoffed a laugh at that. “Who’d have thought… She’s been a nightmare to me, and now I can’t…can’t even stand to think back on the times I never saw her like I do now.”
Steve looked around the room, seeing it was good for the night. It would be a tight squeeze — but having shuffled Max’s bed over enough so that they all had room to play games and draw on the floor with snacks, it would do. He sighed, taking a second to sit on the edge of the bed near her feet.
“Maybe this is a good thing,” he murmured. “Tonight.  Hearing all our voices at once. Arguing and bickering and laughing the way you all do together.” 
Steve poked her knee. “Think that’ll kick start you again, red? Wake you back up so that you can give us all shit?”
Her silence isn’t as long as he expects it to be whenever he hears a knock. Steve looks over to the open doorway, finding Jonathan standing there. He looks…wary. Rough, and timid. Standing awkwardly with his hands buried deeply in his pockets, he shoots Steve a very quick, uncomfortable right-lipped grin.
“Hey.”
Steve blinks. “Hey.”
Jonathan rocks on his feet for a moment. Finally, he clears his throat. “Can I come in?”
Steve blinks again, but eventually nods. “Yeah. Yeah, sure, yeah.”
Jonathan moves to lean against the wall, next to the doorway. Steve would laugh at the fact that this is Byers’ way of “coming in,” if it weren’t for the fact that he was so clearly nervous about something. Steve had a few guesses as to why he was here. He knew this had been coming, and he wishes he’d been the one to initiate it. Because they really needed to talk.
They’d needed to talk for 3 years.
“Look, Byers,” Steve started after waiting for what felt like a century for Jonathan to say something. “I owe you an apology…”
“No,” Jonathan cut him off. 
It made Steve look at him in surprise. But Jonathan continued before he could say anything else.
“No, it’s me who owes you an apology.”
Steve stared. “…what?”
Jonathan sighed, scratching his neck and praying the words could find him as he finally dove into what he needed to let off his chest.
“Look I’m not good at this,” Jonathan said. “Talking, I mean. You know I’m weird.” 
He gnawed at his lip, pensive and twitchy. He looked down at his feet a lot, feeling tense under Harrington’s gaze. But he sucked in a deep breath, going for it. 
“Back in 1982, you had every right to break my camera.”
Steve froze. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah. Yeah you did. I shouldn’t have been spying on you guys like that. ‘Cause even though I was looking for my brother, it…it turned into me just…following the sound of you all partying and watching from afar. So I mean, technically…”  Jonathan chuckled under his breath darkly. “Technically, I was being a stalker.”
He looked up at Steve finally, finding him looking at him in pure shock. 
“You were dating Nancy,” Jonathan continued. “And I took…really inappropriate pictures of her. In a moment when you both were having…or well, thought you were having a private moment together. That wasn’t alright. And if…if someone had done that to me and my girlfriend, I would’ve…probably done the same thing. And honestly, you getting mad at me in the alleyway that morning —”
“Dude, no,” Steve shook his head. “Don’t take the blame for that. That was all me. It was shitty, what I did to Nancy. And what I said to you.”
“Yeah it was, but you found me in your girlfriend’s room, Steve,” Jonathan told him. “I was in there with her, in her bed, sleeping next to her when she told you that she was with her family. It looked…fucked up.”
Steve was just staring again. How in the hell was this happening right now? And why had he himself never made it happen sooner?
“So you chewed me out,” Jonathan shrugged. “And no, you shouldn’t have publicly humiliated Nancy like that at all…”
“I kick myself for it every day,” Steve murmured. “Trust me…”
“I know,” Jonathan told him, voice softer. “I know that now. I’ve…known you have for a long time. Nancy told me. I know you apologized over and over.” He took a moment, going back. “But what you said to me was just…your way of saying fuck you. You felt used, tricked and stupid. After you’d protected Nancy from a guy who’d proven himself to be a creepy stalker, and it looked like she slept with him. So you lashed out. Like any teen guy would.”
“I called you a queer,” Steve says incredulously, cringing at the memory. “I even went as far as saying you were the reason for Will going missing, along with your mom. It was low, Jonathan. What I said and did was just — flat out low. No excuses. None. I’m the one in the wrong.”
“Steve, we both were.”
Jonathan’s voice finally finds confidence. It makes Steve look at him in another light, as if he’s truly seeing Byers for the strong-willed young man that he is. It occurs to him now that maybe Jonathan has been going through some soul searching of his own, just as he had over the last few years. Clearly, he still was.  Both of them were.
“We were barely 17 years old, and stupid,” Jonathan kept going. “We — we didn’t know how the hell to deal with anything. Much less a missing kid, or a guy related to that kid who’d taken creepy photos. We both were idiots.”
Steve let that land. And it actually made him laugh, sheepishly. 
“Yeah,” he nodded slowly, scratching his neck. “Yeah, I guess we were.”
Jonathan laughed too. It was still tense, a bit awkward. But it was becoming lighter. For both of them.
“Shit, Byers,” Steve shook his head. “Have we both been feeling awful about this for years and just… not saying something about it until now?”
Jonathan sighed. “Sounds like it.”
They were both quiet for a moment, letting this newfound revelation settle into existence.
“Thanks for the new camera, by the way,” Jonathan added. “I know that was you.”
Steve looked back up at him, finding kindness and sincere gratitude in Jonathan’s eyes. It made him feel shy. Worse, yet better at the same time.
“Least I could do,” Steve shrugged.
Jonathan sniffed a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, well… You didn’t take the credit for it. You let Nancy do that.”
Jonathan pursed his lips, brow pinching as he shifted against the wall and stared down at his feet again. Steve waited as he watched him curiously.
“You extended way more kindness to me than I did you,” Jonathan said softly. So softly, it made Steve wonder if it was actually what he said.
“I shouldn’t have pined after Nancy,” Jonathan said. “I should’ve asked her out. Like actually asked her out, while she was single again. Before you two got back together.”
Steve felt his stomach jump. This was…a lot. So much was being covered right now in this conversation.
“But instead, I just sulked and pretended I still wasn’t in her thoughts at all. Even though I knew that…that she liked me. But I also knew that she liked you. So I just… I convinced myself it wasn’t ever gonna happen. Because that was safer. And hating you made it easier to do that.”
Jonathan looked ashamed of everything that he was saying now, but certain about it. Steve just listened, not daring to interrupt him.
“I might not have cheated with Nancy the first time you both dated…but I did the second time. And that’s not… that’s not right.” Jonathan sighed, taking a breath. “But I was a coward. Maybe not when it came to the upside down and finding Will, but up here? In regular real life? I am. I’m a coward. I don’t say whatever it is that I’m actually feeling or thinking, or wanna say. I just…wait for circumstances to make it happen for me. You don’t do that. You just…go for it.”
Steve scoffed. “Trust me, I’m…I’ve been a coward for years. In many ways, many times, for many reasons.”
“Yeah, well…you still didn’t steal someone else’s girlfriend instead of actually making a move. And I’m really…really sorry about that, Steve. I’m sorry I swooped in like that, and then…drunkenly bragged about it to Bauman Squared while you were in earshot. It made you take it out on her, when she didn’t deserve that. I did. All she did was call me out on it with Murray. They both had no idea it would turn into this.”
That made Steve squirm. He thought about how he’d been pining after Nancy still, even when she was with Jonathan. He took a deep breath, knowing he needed to let that off his chest too.
“Look,” Steve started warily. “Honestly, I really appreciate everything you’re saying. And really — apology accepted. Completely.”
Jonathan could tell that Steve meant it, and he visibly relaxed some once he let that settle into his bones. He released a breath of air that he hadn’t even realized he had been holding.
Meanwhile, Steve was holding his own.
“And you’re right,” Steve continued. “What I did to Bauman? Taking it out on her like that was…well it was projection. Cowardly projection. Instead of taking it out on you and Nancy, I took it out on someone else. Because that was easier. Because it meant that I still got to be the unsung hero in Nancy’s life, and a bigger person than you.”
Jonathan stared at him now, surprised to hear this. He wasn’t expecting his confessed guilt to lead to Steve admitting guilt of his own.
“I’ll probably be telling Bauman I’m sorry for as long as I live,” Steve continued, voice solemn. Honestly I feel…shitty beyond belief, knowing that I could’ve been kinder to her all this time…maybe even spared myself way more heartbreak...if I’d just gotten mad at you guys instead of her. Because then, I might’ve gotten close with her and discovered feelings for her before this all went down.”
“Maybe,” Jonathan pondered, nodding. “Then again… I don’t think you’d have fallen for her nearly as hard if it hadn’t been for you giving her shit for it.”
They both awkwardly chuckle at that. But it makes them both sad to think about it. How you’d taken the brunt of it all.
“Fuck, she didn’t deserve that,” Jonathan huffs. “And I’m — I’m the one who caused it.”
“No,” Steve shook his head, eyes sad and dark as they swam in regret. “No, that was all me. I was an asshole. And truthfully, I was still so hung up on Nance that I didn’t know how to even remotely look at another girl. Let alone one I convinced myself was responsible for taking that away from me, knowing damn well that it wasn’t. Nance wanted you, and you wanted her. Plain and simple.”
Jonathan looked ashamed all over again, but Steve held up a hand. 
“Trust me,” Steve assured him. “She wasn’t mine to keep. I get that now.”
Jonathan slowly smiled at that. “You love her, don’t you?”
Steve knew who he meant. You. 
“Yeah,” Steve whispered. “Yeah, I…don’t even know what to do with it.”
Steve stared into thin air, lost in thought. Jonathan didn’t push him, just watching him and waiting for him to go on.
“I just…look back on it all and wonder how. How did I not see her in high school, or…see during the summer of ‘84 that she was clearly perfect?”
“It takes time,” Jonathan said softly. “Shit doesn’t always hit you right away. I know that better than you’d think.”
Steve pursed his lips. “Yeah. Yeah no, you’re not wrong. I just… I dunno. I guess I’m just…”
He took a deep breath, knowing he needed to get this over with.
“I was still hung up on Nance while you were in California,” he continued, making eye contact with Jonathan again. “So much so that…I told her I was. And I’d…hoped to get her back. I wanted to steal her back from you.”
Jonathan sighed, giving him a small smile.
“I know,” he said. “She told me.”
Steve stared. Oh.
“Believe it or not,” Jonathan continued. “I’m not…mad about that at all.”
Steve blinked.  “…why…?”
Jonathan chuckled. “Steve, I actually stole your girlfriend. I had it coming.”
After several more blinks, Steve coughed out a laugh. Was he serious? As Jonathan laughed with him, he realized that he truly meant it. He wasn’t mad.
“Sorry man, but I won that round,” Jonathan chuckled.
“Fair,” Steve chuckled back. “Good game, man.”
Jonathan nodded awkwardly, shuffling his feet. “Yeahhh, good game…”
They took a few moments of silence, letting the tension wear off some more. It was…nice. This weird sort of talk was nice.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is,” Steve continued. “I’m sorry, too. For going after Nance again, and not just… facing you both sooner.”
“S'alright,” Jonathan told him. “I’ve honestly been a really shitty boyfriend these last several months.”
Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion.
“Long story,” Jonathan waved a hand. “That’s my own wrong that I gotta make right with Nancy.”
Steve contemplated that. Had whatever was going south between Jonathan and Nancy, unbeknownst to him, been the reason she’d seemed to be interested in him again? Or was that just the tipping point for her, and her buried lingering feelings for Steve?
Regardless, it didn’t matter now. Steve was so in love with you, he couldn’t see straight. But it did make him wonder.
“And honestly, I don’t blame you,” Jonathan said, smiling. “Nancy, she’s…perfect.”
Steve smiled at him. “She’s pretty wonderful,” Steve agreed. “I’ll always adore her. But…”
“…but you found your person,” Jonathan finished for him. “Your ‘perfect’ person.”
Steve grinned. “Yeah. She makes everything make sense for me, and I just…god, I love her.”
Jonathan nodded, still smiling. “I know how you feel.”
Steve fiddled his thumbs in his lap, staring down at them and feeling his stomach knot up. There was another thing he needed to own up to…
“Jonathan, what I said to you…” Steve murmured, eyes still downcast. “Yesterday, back at the fence…when Bauman…” Steve winced, skipping that part.  “...it wasn’t at all —”
“I deserved it.”
“Okay, you’ve got to stop doing that, will you let me feel bad for at least one thing I’m saying?”
“No, and especially not this one.”
Steve sighed, perplexed. “…and why is that?”
“Because I deserved it.”
Jonathan watched as Steve just gaped at him, biting back amusement. He let the sincerity of the serious topic ground him again.
“You all searched and fought relentlessly for me and my mom when this all started,” Jonathan went on to say.
“...I so did not do anything from the start.”
“Maybe you don’t think you did? But you did.”
“…I so did not.”
“You got there. And besides…like we both said earlier…lots of misdirected projection. And lots of long overdue confrontation. On both our parts.”
Steve couldn’t argue that. Byers was right, at least in this case.
“You were still mad at me,” Jonathan continued, “and I was just mad at myself but convinced that everything and everyone else — you included — were the problem. Not me.”
Jonathan gnawed at his lip for several moments, clearing his throat.  “You basically unleashed years of deeply buried resentment onto me in one foul swoop.  I gotta say, your words…shit hit me hard.”
Steve frowned, ducking his head a bit.  “I honestly don’t even remember some of it.  I just…saw red.”
Jonathan snorted.  “Blind rage will do that.  Shit, I don’t even remember swinging on you back in ‘82.  Apparently, I did a pretty nasty job.”
“I was positive you’d done permanent damage to my nose.”
“Yeah, and then you took an even worse beating from that Hargrove kid and the Russians,” Jonathan said, nose scrunched with a laugh.  Steve laughed, too.  They had to laugh about it all at this point.
“Christ, man,” Steve groaned.  “It’s a wonder my face isn’t the prime subject for plastic surgery…”
Jonathan shrugged. “And you wonder why we all hate you so much.  You’ve gotten your ass beat so many times, and still look good.”
Steve smirked.  “Thanks.”
Jonathan winked.  “I’m sure Bauman Squared digs it.  All the battle wounds.”
That actually made Steve blush.  “Psh.  Compared to the fall she took?  My experiences look like a walk in the park.”
“So Dr. Owens is bringing her meds tomorrow, yeah?” Jonathan asked, brow pinched with worry.
Steve sighed, raking a hand through his hair before crouching over his knees, elbows pressing into them.  “Yeah.  Yeah, that can’t come soon enough.”
Jonathan looked at Steve with a somber expression.  He hated that he was going through this.  Seriously, when was Harrington going to catch a damn break?
“She’ll be alright, man,” Jonathan told him kindly.  “She’s got you.  Got all of us.”
Steve nodded.  “Yeah, she’s gonna have to be.  I’ll lose my goddamn mind if she — yeah, she has to be.”
“She will,” Jonathan nodded, speaking firmly.  Assuringly.  “She’s not going anywhere.”
Steve bit his lip, staring at his hands.  
Jonathan shuffled his feet, feeling shy again before asking… “So hey…are we cool?  Like actually really, finally cool?”
Steve looked up at that, eyes shining with relief and kindness.  He stood up, extending a hand out for a firm handshake.  “Yeah man.  We’re cool.  For good.”
Jonathan felt relief wash over him entirely as he shook Steve’s hand, pulling him in for a tight hug.  And Steve felt like he had just made so much peace with his old self in a multitude of ways, over one honest conversation with Byers.  While he wished it had happened sooner, he realized…maybe if it had, it wouldn’t have led to this.  This true sense of peace that came with newfound mature understanding that both of them had grown into individually.
Byers and Harrington could be friends now.  They both had peace to find with Nancy Wheeler, but if they were being brutally honest with themselves — that wasn’t going to be possible until the two of them had hashed it out, once and for all.  And now that they had, Steve could let Nancy know that he had finally moved on…once and for all...and so could she.
And Jonathan could go make things right with her — whether that led to them deciding to take time apart, or getting his girl back.
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lot-of-nothing · 9 hours
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Entwined
Melissa Schemmenti x Reader
Since your youth, the relationship between Melissa and you has been complicated. In all of your years knowing her, she just can't admit that she isn't as straight as she thinks.
Warnings: Toxic Melissa, smut, and very veiled internalized homophobia
Authors Note: If ya like it, let me know and I'll write more.
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On and off.
That’s how you would describe your relationship with Melissa to your closest friends. They would inevitably roll their eyes and make a face, annoyed with how Melissa had you wrapped around her finger.
It started in high school. She would start dating a new guy, he would leave her unsatisfied in more ways than one, and then she would find those missing pieces of her relationship in you. 
You were best friends after all…. and best friends would do anything for each other, right? 
The first night you spent together was always vivid in your memories. Her green eyes flashing with mischief before she took your hand and pulled it to her thigh. Mel told you how badly she was aching, how it was almost painful. That she needed her best friend to help resolve what her boyfriend couldn’t. 
She knew about your sexual orientation. She knew how hard it was for you to date. When you hesitated, Mel said it was like practicing for when you had a girlfriend. Only if she knew how beautiful you found her to be… that she was only making things harder for you. 
Young and naive, you gladly accepted her offer - desire flooding your senses as soon as she drew your hands to her body. She guided you through every motion and step, telling you exactly what she liked. Like a sponge, you soaked up every word and memorized every fraction of her body. Never wanting to forget a thing. 
Little did you know the knowledge would come in handy again… and again… and again.
“I should probably get going.” Mel breathed as she pushed herself into an upright position. You had been bathing in the afterglow of your sexual dalliance when you must have looked at her too yearningly. She didn’t want you getting too attached.
“I wouldn’t mind if you stayed. It’s no big deal.” You tried to shrug off her wanting to leave so soon. It was best if you played it cool rather than let her know how much you really wanted her after all these years. 
It was clear she didn’t give much thought to your statement. Slipping out from under your sheets, Melissa snatched up her underwear and bra from the floor. She was always in such a rush after you were finished, “I don’t want the neighbors gettin’ the wrong idea.”
That's what she had always told you - ‘I’m not gay.’ 
For years, you always had a biting remark in return. 
‘Yeah. It’s not like you just spent a half hour between my legs or anything.’
“What? Worried they might think you’re gay?” Your words were twinged with venom. Now, rather than wait for her to make the excuse, you threw it back in her face. It always irked you that she could say such a thing to you given all you had experienced with one another. 
“A woman can enjoy the company of women and not be gay.”
You scoffed, unable to contain yourself, “You’re delusional.”
Melissa’s lip curled and her brow furrowed. She always hated when you would get pissy with her, so she decided to snap back at you as she clipped her bra in the back, “I don’t need your shit, okay? I came here for a good time after my shitty date.”
You faked a smile and let the sarcasm drip from your tongue. “Glad to help.”
You knew the relationship wasn’t healthy, but this is how it always went. 
She would call. She would come over. You would fuck. She would want to leave right after. You would get pissed. Then you wouldn’t speak until she wanted back in your bed.
You gathered saliva in your mouth and then pushed your tongue between her folds, drenching Melissa’s sweet cunt in your spit. 
After the last sexual dalliance, you told yourself you wouldn’t end up on your knees for her again. But 45 minutes ago you received a partial nude from the redhead, and she had you reeled back in once more. It was a scandalous picture of her standing in front of her bedroom mirror with her hand between her legs. The caption she sent with the photo was ‘Missing you.’
While it was infuriating she could send a picture at random like that, you were in your car minutes later ready to drive over to her house. 
Your hands gripped behind her knees, keeping a gentle pressure to make sure she was spread wide for you. Her hands were buried in your hair to prevent you from lifting your face away from her swollen heat. But in all honesty, you weren’t planning on going anywhere until she came all over your tongue.
“Oh, fuck!” Mel whined, pushing her hips up to grind against your face. Her enjoyment made you smile, and sadly, a small ounce of hope lingered in the back of your mind that maybe you could fuck her good enough that she would want to be with you.
“Yesyesyesyes… God, you are incredible.” Melissa hissed out, chasing her orgasm through rough bucks of her hips.
You pulled back, fighting against the grip for her hands. You provided her with a singular lick to her cunt and then paused, teasing her, “You want to come?”
“Yes~”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, please.”
“Good girl…” You hummed, pulling away entirely to retrieve the strap. 
She had barely recovered from taking a pseudo-rage filled fucking when she crawled from bed. Her legs wobbled underneath herself as she wrapped herself in a robe, trying to make it clear a third round wouldn’t be an option. “I guess you better be goin’.”
“Sounds good.” You took the hint with grace, choosing to let her statement roll off your back rather than stewing on it. You slipped from the bed, unclasped Melissa’s strap (that she kept around just for you), and tossed the sex toy on the bed. You then proceeded to get ready in silence, not offering anything to Melissa that might display your displeasure. 
The redhead was slowly unnerved by your silence as you zipped up your trousers and pulled your shirt over your head. She stared at her nail beds, trying to start casual conversation, “Gary proposed.” 
You glanced up at her quickly, brow furrowed in angry questioning. While you were not proud of how easily Mel could reel you in, you wouldn’t have come if she was still in a relationship let alone engaged. 
Melissa noticed your incredulous look and finished explaining, “I said no.”
You breathed out a scoff as you tucked your phone in your back pocket and scooped up your sweater off the floor. “That sounds about right.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Melissa was clearly unhappy with your tone, but you refused to glance her way - slightly enraging her further. 
Swiping your wallet and car keys from the bedside table you finally glanced over to where Mel sat on the edge of the bed. It was difficult to tell if she was more angry or embarrassed by your criticism, “I’ve learned the hard way, Mel. You’re hardly one to be tied down by something as trivial as love.”
Melissa was left speechless by your blatant honesty, and she could only stare as you gave her a curt nod, “I’ll see you around.”
She wasn’t gone for a half hour when you received a text from her - ‘Again tomorrow night? ;)’
It immediately forced you to roll your eyes. How you loved and hated that she was like this. One moment she would be so oppositional to any form of attachment, and then the moment someone ‘played hard to get’ with her, she would be fiending for their attention. 
What was worse is that you were no better than her. You replied almost automatically - ‘I am off at 4. Come over whenever.’
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pickleluvrgirl · 2 days
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Email Questions w/ Ben Coccio
So I emailed Ben Coccio with some of my burning questions regarding Zero Day (and his work in general). I got permission to post these but aagghh I'm just so excited. I loved reading these takes and I think they're such an interesting perspective. It's pretty long so I put the rest of the questions under the cut :)
In an interview from a few years back, you'd mentioned knowing about online communities surrounding ZD. What are your thoughts on Zero Day’s legacy today as a cult classic, with such a strong fanbase 20 years on?
I think it's fascinating. I have theories, but even though I made the movie, I really have no idea. These are just complete speculation, so take them with a grain of salt: 
I wonder if part of it is because America simply refuses to address its ongoing gun problem? Back when I made ZD, I was convinced that Columbine would be the last mass shooting of its size in my lifetime. I can't believe how wrong I was, but I can also totally believe it. ZD is 22 years old, so there are at least 2 generations of Americans that have grown up with mass shootings being a frequent terror in American life. So maybe this movie just articulates a fear or anxiety that is front of mind for a lot of people?
I also think it could be that ZD functions like a dark John Hughes movie or something - where the essential quality of the movie that resonates with people is not actually the nightmare subject matter, but its buddy-teen-movie vibe. I think it was Martin Scorsese who said that you don't watch a movie more than once for the plot - you watch it more than once for the story, and to hang out with the characters. I think the sincere depiction of being a teen - even in the context of them planning something awful - has the quality of hanging out with friends as a teen. And the characters are fun to hang out with, even though they are terrifying.
I think American culture tends to romanticize killers - from serial killers to Charles Manson to Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. At the same time, I think all cultures tend to romanticize youth - and stories of self-destructive youth is a very romantic subgenre. I think it's possible that ZD's subject being young people and ZD's willingness to depict a mass shooting without demonizing the shooters speaks to a subset of young people who are enamored with a romanticized idea of school mass shooters. Perhaps they see the sincere depiction of Cal and Andre's humanity as a confirmation of this romantic ideal? Along these lines, Cal and Andre are good looking, charismatic kids, so there's that! 
My last theory is that the movie came along as video on the internet was getting more and more widespread - I just checked and youtube came along in 2005. The movie was built on the idea of what my friends and I did in high school, pre internet, with VHS cameras. And that only got more and more common amongst middle class teens as the 90s wore on. So ZD is kind of tailor-made to be discovered on youtube at that time - it's actually kind of a great way to watch it, too, as opposed to other movies where that context would be a distraction. I remember that the shooting scene was put up by someone on 'liveleak' as actual footage from Columbine, which was both gross and a fascinating media ecosystem phenomenon. 
With The Beginner specifically, was it strange working with Cal as an actor in such a different role compared to Zero Day?
Not strange, just different. Cal is a really good actor and we got to know one another so well doing Zero Day that we're practically like family. I think what was interesting was that it was a different kind of movie - it had a lot of improv, like Zero Day, but it had a different tone and had a different relationship with depicting a 'movie world'. I was going for a subtle surreal quality, I suppose. Zero Day was designed to be aggressively 'realistic' (maybe naturalistic is the better word?) and the beginner was meant to be built like a parable or fable. 
So there were things I wanted Cal to do that were not realistic, or maybe odd. I was not experienced enough at the time as a director to articulate what I was going for, and too insecure as a person to accept that what I thought was right didn't work for a close collaborator of mine. A good example is when Cal comes home, after his parents thought he might be dead, he hugs them, and then excuses himself to go alone up to his room.  Cal really had issues with this moment - he just didn't buy it. I was trying to be efficient in the scene, and not have a 'time passing' cut, or some other device. But I couldn't persuade Cal, and instead I just kind of tried to pull rank on him, which, considering how we make work together, was a total failure. Sometimes, when you're anxious or insecure, it's easy to get controlling or pushy - you just want to bypass the process and simply get what you want.
Would you change anything if you made Zero Day today? Not necessarily on a technical level, but in response to how much the culture surrounding guns and mass shootings in the US has changed over recent years.
I think if I made it today, I'd have to build it in a radically different way. 
First, I think I would be more aware of choosing to tell the story of two male, white, middle class teens (as opposed to how I did it at the time - by unthinkingly defaulting to two, white, male, middle class teens because I grew up as a white, male, middle class teen). But I would still likely make it about two, white, male, middle class teens, because it's just easier to 'write what you know.'
Second, the changes in tech are such that white middle class american kids probably have a 16x9, 4k video cam on their phone, one which those kids use way more than if they lived in a time of miniDV camcorders -- not to mention the fact that they would be commonly framing video in a vertical format. So right off the bat, the images that made the movie would be totally different in a fundamental way. 
Third, their phones are connected to the internet, social media, et al, and so are they. Does the phone service their parents use upload everyone's videos and pics to a family cloud account? If so, does that change what they shoot and how? Does the way the kids use social media scratch the itch that would have made them get out the camcorder in 2002?
Fourth, mass shootings and our reactions to them/motives for committing them have changed so much as they have gotten more frequent. They are no longer national events like Columbine was. Or, if they are, they don't last as national events in shared memory like Columbine did. Paradoxically, mass shootings like Uvalde and Sandy Hook - which warranted less overall coverage in the current media landscape than Columbine did in 1999 - make Columbine look almost quaint in comparison. For white middle class people in rich countries, mass shootings have become a fairly common tool for political violence in the name of a broad ideological project of intolerance - from homophobia to incel misogyny to racism to hatred of other religions.
When Columbine happened, I was not thinking in those terms culturally. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were enigmas to me. Their shooting an explosion of nihilistic violence that I was both drawn to with morbid fascination and repelled by. The Eric Harrises and Dylan Klebolds of today are Eliot Roger or the Tree of Life shooter or the Pulse nightclub shooter or the guy that shot up the sikh temple or the mosque mass shooting in new zealand or the guy that shot up the supermarket in Buffalo (and on and on). Many of these shooters' entire social lives consisted of participating in online communities dedicated to hate and cruelty which, although similar to the way Cal and Andre egg each other on in ZD, is not maybe a story easily told well with cinema.
Mass shootings were, long before Columbine, a tactic of political violence, from the Puerto Rico separatist attack on the house of reps in the 1950s to the Japanese Red Army attacking an Israeli airport in 1972 to the guy that attacked the congressional baseball game back in 2017 hoping to kill a bunch of republicans. It seems to me that a lot of the mass shootings we see in America today are a continuation of a long-standing trend of right-wing political violnce in America, and maybe now part of a kind of low-simmer civil war - maybe even at the same time that they are externalized suicides committed by severely alienated people with easy access to ridiculously powerful weapons . This has changed how we interrogate these events after they happen - we look quickly for political or ideological motivations. We also have new things we blame mass shootings on now - just recently, a jury convicted the parents of a mass shooter with involuntary man-slaughter because they did not stop their kid from shooting up their school.
Fifth, mass shootings have become such a part of our cultural life in America, that people deciding to enact a shooting are engaging with a much deeper meta-cultural narrative than the characters in ZD were. Where do these characters fit into that meta-narrative?
Do you find that your influences have changed majorly since you first started making films? Are there any themes, concepts or artists that you find you've pulled away from that used to influence you heavily?
When I was a kid, I was a picky eater. Now I like all kinds of food, even though I still have my favorite meals. When I was a kid, I would eat the same thing over and over again. Now, I go out of my way to try new kinds of food. I still really care about the taste and presentation of what I eat, but the most important thing now is what's behind the meal - who I'm eating it with.
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violet-snail-sfw · 3 days
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The first time I saw a trans woman was in porn. I was pretty young then, in early middle school I think. My first thoughts about trans women only existed in a sexual context, since that was the only place I saw us mentioned
The next time I saw trans people mentioned was a TV show presumably about trans people and transitioning. I didn't watch it, only saw the description because even as a kid I had already internalized the idea that it was taboo and I would get in trouble if my parents walked in and I was watching it
Eventually I saw enough TV and cop shows to see an episode with the dead trans hooker trope. It further reinforced the building idea that trans women were something else, separate from "normal" people and always on the outskirts of society
And then Caitlyn Jenner came out. At my Catholic middle school there were few kind things said about her and plenty of nasty comments, but this was the first time I saw trans people being publicly talked about
In high school my views on trans people started to fracture. On one hand, I was being pushed the idea that gender was about what's in your pants, that if you've got a dick your a man and there's nothing that can be done about it. On the other hand, early high school me had stumbled across some gender change erotica and quickly became obsessed with it. While it wasn't great representation, it was still pretty positive about transitioning. The people in those stories were always happier afterwards
I struggled to reconcile what parts of society were saying about trans people with my daydreaming about what I'd do if I woke up the next morning as a girl. Eventually I decided that it was just a fetish. I just thought it was hot, there was no way I could be trans because I was just a normal person. I wasn't weird or a spectacle for others to gawk at, I was just a person
Around that time I also met a trans person in passing for the first time. One of the trans guys at my high school was in one of the musicals that I went to because some of my friends were also in them. When I was talking to my friends about it after someone mentioned the trans guy and that he was trans. I wasn't really sure what to think so I kinda just didn't think about it. Thinking back, there were a few trans guys at my high school but I don't think there was a single out trans woman
Eventually in college I actually met some trans and nonbinary people. In some classes we introduced ourselves on the first day with names and pronouns which was my first exposure to people using pronouns other than just he/him and she/her. I had a few classes with trans and nonbinary people, including a survey of transgender studies class I took in my last semester. I had plenty of excuses for why I was taking it (I needed a few more credits to graduate. It still had room open. It fit with my other classes. It seemed interesting. I'm trying to be a good ally.)
Around this time as well I found some trans creators online like ContraPoints and Philosophy Tube (whom I had watched before she came out as trans). I was weirdly excited and interested when Odyssey Eurobeat came out as trans and I went to go listen to some of her music right after I heard. I was starting to have examples of trans people just being people. Not just porn stars or public spectacles, but people
Later I met and befriended a few trans women, one of whom was extremely open about her transness and happened to share a video which started the initial steps of my egg cracking and figuring out who I am now
If I had actually known any trans women, if the world had been kinder to trans people, if representation of trans women as people existed and was well known, I might have been able to realize who I was sooner. I would have been able to exist as myself for more than a tiny fragment of my life so far
Representation matters, both in media and in daily life. Trans people being out and open about who they are made it possible for me to realize that about myself. Please never stop being who you are
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goodbuckcharlie · 2 days
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https://www.tumblr.com/goodbuckcharlie/744970952822095872/forbidden-things-jeremy-swayman-summary-its
ahhh love it!! part two would so goood!!!!! especially with steph, austin and mitch seeing how in love the two are
Warming up | Jeremy Swayman
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Summary: Part two to Forbidden Things. Following up on their secret relationship no longer being secret, Steph, Auston, and Mitch start noticing how truly in love the two are
Warning: swearing, a little slut shaming (for like a second) and mention of blood/injury
Notes: I am glad people liked the last post :) I currently have a Cole Caufield x pro golfer story and a Luke Hughes social media Au both in the works but when I saw this comment I jumped back to this story. Let me know if you guys are interested in either one of those or idk maybe even a part two for my Nico story.
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Steph definitely was the first to see how much Jeremy loved Mackie. She realized it at the family dinner that Mitch invited Jer to. It wasn’t even anything special, just watching how Jeremy interacted with the family, she knew he was the one for Mackie.
“So when Maddie set us up on a blind date, she forgot to mention that Mackie was the Executive chef at the restaurant we were going to.” Jeremy was telling the family how his neighbor who just so happened to be Mackie’s best friend, set the two together, “So we were served cold food ,like it wasn’t super cold, but Mackie definitely wasn’t happy. She excused herself and then went to the back. I could hear her scream ‘I’m on a date with a hot ass guy and you guys can’t do your fucking jobs? What the fuck do I pay you guys for!’ She then came back and acted like the whole restaurant didn’t hear her screaming. Let’s just say, I was ready to propose in that second.”
“Okay you are being a bit dramatic,” Mackie corrects, “You only heard what I said cause we were sat by the kitchen. The whole restaurant didn’t hear me scream.”
“Babe, the hostess looked terrified and the poor girl was on the other side of the restaurant.” Everyone laughs as Mackie gives a little pout, “Aw no need to get all pouty, I thought it was extremely hot. Still do.”
Jeremy pokes Mackie’s neck until she starts laughing.
“You know Jeremy, Mackie had a few boyfriends in high school, and none of them were ever able to hand our girl’s temper.” Mrs. Marner says while holding her husband’s hand and smiling in endearment, “They often called her too bossy and one even told her that her ego was unlady like.”
“Yeah Mitch was not happy when he heard that.” Mackie looks across the table at Mitch, who has been eyeing Jeremy, observing him like a Hawk, “When I came home crying, Mitch drove to the guy’s house and fought him.”
“This guy in a fight? I couldn’t imagine that.” Jeremy laughs and Mackie is surprised to see Mitch also laughing.
“Don’t get to excited bud, I lost that fight.” Mackie and Steph can tell Mitch is still hesitant about Jeremy, but it was a good sign to see the boys laughing together. Well until Mitch notices something.
“What the hell is on your neck?” Through the long day, Mackie never reapplied her makeup on her neck, so the darkest hickey is now visible.
“Would you believe me if I told you it’s a burn mark from my curling iron?” Mitch gives Mackie the angry brother look and she automatically know that mean he doesn’t believe her. Luckily Steph came to the rescue.
“Oh Mitch calm down, you know we were doing that same thing when we were her age.” Steph manages to keep Mitch calm and civil for the rest of the dinner.
At the end of the night as everyone was leaving, the restaurant started to play one of Mackie’s favorite songs. She hides her excitement, but Jeremy notices.
“Dance with me pretty girl.” He holds his hand out.
“Jer we are at a restaurant, we shouldn’t.” Steph is the only who is noticing the interaction, but she can’t help but smile.
“Nobody is going to kick us out for dancing, plus who cares if they do, your restaurant is 10x better anyway.” Mackie takes his hand and they start swaying along to the music. Mackie giggles as Jeremy spins her around and they almost knock over a table. But they don’t care they are in their own world.
In this moment, Steph knew Mackie was right and that Jeremy was her one.
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Surprisingly Auston was the next to approve the relationship. And it was a total accident.
It was March, a whole month since All stars, and the Bruins were playing the maple leafs in Toronto.
Mackie had stayed at home in Boston. Jeremy was missing her during the roadie, but he knew after this game they would be at home for a while.
Auston was just walking around the backstage of the arena when he walked past Jeremy on the phone.
“Babe you know you don’t have to call me to get permission to go out with Maddie.” Jeremy says while smiling at his phone.
“Oh I know I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.”
“You are going to be the death of me.” Auston can’t help but eavesdrop. “While I have you here, show me what you are wearing out.”
Auston at first thinks the worst and thought that Jeremy was trying to be controlling, but his worry soon went away.
“Damn baby, you look so good makes me want to bail on the game and fly back home to see you.” Auston fake gags at Jeremy making comments like that to the girl he considers as little sister. “Is that my jacket?”
“Yeah Maddie wouldn’t let me borrow one of hers so I went over to your place and grabbed a jacket.”Austin wasn’t surprised to hear that Mackie had a key to Jeremy’s place.
“I would have let her borrow a jacket if she actually wanted to wear a jacket, not because our old ass neighbor was being a bitch.” An unfamiliar voice that Austin assumes is Maddie comes out of the phone.
“Maddie you said you wouldn’t say anything.” Mackie whines.
“Wait you guys are talking about that cougar that’s been trying to get in my pants since I moved in?” Austin can feel Jeremy get upset even as he hides in the corner, “What did she say?”
“She said, and I quote, you shouldn’t be going out like that when you have a man at home. It makes you look desperate.” Maddie said cause she knew Mackie wouldn’t.
“Fuck her. Mackie you look amazing in anything. If you like how an outfit looks, nobody and I mean nobody shall tell you different. Now take off my jacket and go have fun with Maddie, I’ll be there in the morning to nurse that hang over. And after that I’ll go talk to our neighbor, I’m not letting her get away with disrespecting you.”
That was all Auston needed to hear. He walked away satisfied with the conversation. Before this conversation, Auston didn’t think Jeremy and Mackie’s relationship was serious. Now he knows not only are they serious, but he now had a newfound respect for Jeremy.
At the end of the game, the bruins won 4 to 1. After his shower, Auston set out on a mission to talk to Jeremy. Luckily he finds him as he is heading out of the visitors locker room.
“Hey Swayman.” Jeremy looks up from his phone is surprised to see Auston.
“Oh hey.” Jeremy is a little skeptical, but knowing how important Auston is you Mackie he doesn’t question it.
“So I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but earlier I heard your phone call with Mackie.” He totally meant to eavesdrop but he wouldn’t admit it. “You’re a good man Swayman. And it might take a little more for Mitch to see it, but you really do love Mackie. And I’m glad she has someone like you.”
“Thanks Auston. You mean a lot to Mackie, so your approval is very important to her. And what’s important to Mackie is important to me.” Auston extends his hand out for a hand shake but Jeremy being Jeremy pulls him into a quick hug. “Now I got a plane to catch so I can see my girl.”
“We just finished the game and your already talking about that girl?” Brad Marchand hit Sways back and teases him, “You’re such a simp.”
“I’m a proud simp for Mackie Marner .” Both Auston and Brad laughs as Jeremy rushes out so he can hurry back to his girl.
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Mitch by no means hated Jeremy and Mackie’s relationship, but the idea of his little sister dating anyone especially someone on the rival hockey team to his, didn’t sit right with him. But that was until, Jeremy did something that completely changed his perspective.
The maple leafs had just played the Bruins again this time in Boston. The leafs had decided to stay in Boston for a few days before leaving back to Toronto. So Mackie closed her restaurant for the day and decided to host both the leafs and the bruins for dinner. But a few things had gone wrong causing the girl stress.
It was the middle of the day so the staff had plenty of time to prepare everything. During this time, little things happened that all piled up causing Mackie to be on edge. Things such as some dropping knives or someone not following her instructions. She keeps her composure to the best of her abilities, since she doesn’t want to ruin the dinner.
Everyone started to arrive at 6:30 which was 30 minutes before the dinner started. Mackie doesn’t know because she is concentrating on the food. She is so concentrated that her staff even starts to worry about her.
“If you can’t chop it properly I’ll do it myself.” Mackie doesn’t mean to sound rude, but she doesn’t have time to apologize since her brain is currently running 100 miles per hours. She starts to cut veggies as fast as she can but because she is being careless, she cuts her finger. “Fuck, Eric please take over.”
She runs her hand under the sink hoping to stop the bleeding, but the cut was much deeper then she thought.
“Chef are you okay? you should probably get that checked out. It looks pretty deep.” Eric, one of the first chefs Mackie hired, finished chopping and check on Mackie. But as any girl can tell you, when you are trying not to cry and someone asks if you are okay or are you crying, you feel like you need to cry even more.
“it’s just a cut I’ll be fine.” She didn’t mean to raise her voice but her frustration caused her to do so. Jeremy who is talking to Mitch and Auston, hears Mackie and heads to the kitchen in concern not knowing that Mitch was right behind him.
When he entered the kitchen, everyone was working hard, but Mackie was no where in sight.
“After she yelled, she said sorry to me before she grabbed a cloth and ran off to her office.” Eric said standing next to the sink. “I can finish the dinner,but that cut of hers needs attention so could you try and get her out of the office.”
Jeremy quickly thanks Eric before heading to the office.
“Hey pretty girl, you wanna talk?” No response.
“Baby, we’ve talked about this you have to talk to me when you’re upset, we are a team.”
The door to the office opens and reveals a crying Mackie who is holding a bloody towel to her cut.
“I just wanted tonight to be perfect.” Jeremy pulls Mackie into a hug. “But before I got here Maddie and I got into a fight and I tried to ignore it to keep the night perfect, and then little things kept happening and now my stupid finger won’t stop bleeding.”
“Whatever you and Maddie are mad about I’m sure it’s nothing, you two are like sisters.” Jeremy sits Mackie down while looking at her cut. “And everyone out there loves you too, so no matter what you served us we would thinks it’s perfect.”
Mitch (just like Auston) listened in from outside the office to make sure his sister was okay but not to interfere in their moment. (Steph would be so proud)
“I know you are going to try and fight me on this but this cut is really deep. We should get you to a hospital.” Mackie shoots Jer a look of disapproval but before she can voice that disapproval, Jeremy stops her. “I will go get your brother and Auston, then we will carry you to the hospital.”
“Off the ice, I’m faster than all three of you.” Her confidence makes Jeremy smile in adoration.
“Seriously thought I’m no professional but how deep this looks I wouldn’t be surprised if you had nerve damage as well.” Jeremy has seen his fair share of hockey injuries as well has had to deal with his own so that is why this cut was so concerning.
“Could we go out the back door?” Mackie says through tears, “I don’t want Mitchy to see me cry.”
“Anything you want if that means you’ll go to the hospital.” Jeremy goes into Mackie’s purse and grabs a makeup wipe and hands it to her. “I know you’ll be upset if I let you go out with your mascara running so go ahead and wipe off your makeup as I go and tell everyone that you’re okay and where we are going.”
Mackie nods and Jer kisses her forehead before he leaves her office shutting the door behind him. He then sees Mitch.
“She’s alright.” Jeremy says not to relieve Mitch but almost as to relieve himself from his worry.
“I know she is, because she’s in good hands.”Jeremy is surprised when Mitch hugs him. It’s quick but still shocking, “She’s the most stubborn person I know, and that’s saying a lot because we are hockey players, but you are careful and collected with her. You are the one for her.”
Mitch tells Jer that he would handle telling everyone and to call him when the doctors know what’s wrong.
Despite the high stress of the situation, Jeremy couldn’t help but smile the whole time.
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reimeichan · 11 hours
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God it's so weird to look back through my life and be able to pinpoint exact moments that a specific alter was fronting. Back then we didn't even know we had DID (for the most part) yet this disorder has colored my life for almost as long as I've been alive.
When I was in high school, one of the elective classes I took was orchestra. I was super passionate about it; I would regularly stay after school to help the other orchestras in my school during rehearsal, which was basically unheard of at my school. I was known for loving not just playing the viola but also caring a lot about the group as a whole, taking time to help anyone struggling with specific parts of a piece or even to help set up the room for practice or the stage for performances. I took viola and orchestra very seriously.
But also.... I had a silly, playful side to me. Most anyone who knew me outside of orchestra knew this about me, but my director sure did not. So when it came time for the annual region-wide audition for the "top orchestra of the region" (region being a collection of several school districts), I was expected to audition like I had all the previous years. And, well, I suppose the me that was there on the day of the audition had other plans. Instead of playing the excerpts like she was asked to, she instead, in order: played a C major scale (the easiest scale to play on a viola), played a singular D major chord (but like, REALLY BADLY out of tune), and, the kicker: instead if playing the excerpt from Tchaikovsky's Symphony No. 5 Movement 4, she played a part from *Movement 2* of the same symphony, AKA a piece our high school had played in front of every music educator in the state. So, yknow, it was obvious which school I'd come from.
When word got around to our director what had occurred, he was pissed beyond belief. He brought me into his office, and I could tell he was just absolutely dumbfounded and perplexed. He stated how I was "the last person [he] expected to pull something like that". I remember shrugging and kinda bluntly saying something rude back while feeling like he was making a big deal out of nothing, which would have been incredibly out of character for me as well as I adored that director- and I'm realizing now that the version of me who was in his office that day was neither the version of me who usually played in the orchestra, nor was that the version of me who pranked the audition process.
And like... it's wild to me that I can so clearly tell which parts of me were present for each of those moments. The one who's usually in orchestra? That's Gray (aka me), the goody two-shoes. The prankster was obviously Purple. And the one who had to deal with a disappointed director was Green. But at the time none of us were even consciously fronting or switching for any of that, it all happened so quickly and suddenly that it felt really disjointed. Hell, for years afterwards I'd still ask myself what possessed me to be an obvious prankster, or to snap back at my director like that. Well, I guess now I know I probably was possessed in some way (heh).
Just, yeah. Some rambling thoughts of the now I guess.
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vigilant-insomniac · 3 days
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Missing Context (Danny Phantom Fic)
One of the Fics I haven't posted on AO3 yet! So I really like the idea that there is a supernatural reason why no one recognizes Danny as Phantom. A color swap alone would not be enough for sure. So this fic was born. Featuring some Danny, Lancer, vague descriptions of injuries, identity reveal One shot, 2300 words I'm new to tumblr, very grateful for advice! William Lancer's spine popped satisfyingly in all sorts of places when he stretched in his chair, where he spent the last few hours grading student essays.
Like he did most Saturday evenings. 
It wasn't the best part of the job, he much preferred teaching and direct guidance, but it still was enjoyable at times. 
Some students rushed their work, sure, but there were always some essays in the mix that would show him a fresh perspective that he himself even hadn't considered before. Sometimes it was also just interesting to see his student's personalities bleed into their work. By that, he didn't mean the persona they each used in front of their peers, but something more genuine, something more real. 
That's why he didn't dislike this kind of desk work. As a teacher there was so much responsibility in recognizing red flags and intervening before things escalated. 
Be it difficult home lives, mental health issues, social issues…. His students might rarely talk to him but he heard them in their writing. 
Usually it was the gaps between their personalities and their personas that drew Lancer's attention. 
Like Mr Baxter's… the boy was high up in the social hierarchy, but used the resulting power to push people around. In his writing, however, he usually showed a lot of understanding for the disadvantaged protagonists, who have to fight their lot in life. 
It only took a parent-teacher night for Lancer to connect the dots and has since been working on a way to help with Mr Baxter's troubled home life. 
At last the boy had confided in him somewhat. So hopefully they would soon make progress and arrange for a relative to take in the boy while his father took therapy and went to AA meetings. 
Things were still in the draft phase, but Lancer was confident that by the end of the school year, Mr Baxter would be able to see a safer environment for himself. 
But that was one of the more straightforward cases, even if it was sensitive and worrying. 
This year he had another troubled child in his class, and the problem was… Lancer knew something was wrong. But for Orwell's sake, he couldn't figure out what it was. 
Danny Fenton was a complex puzzle. The signs pointed in all sorts of directions. 
Some said "parental abuse" but then they said the kid was obviously well loved… even when the parents showed a concerning mix of neglect thanks to their workaholism and helicopter vigilance. 
He was jumpy some days and lethargic the next, he would sleep in class or not show up at all. 
His work ethic was all over the place as well. He obviously cared about his grades and his school work. Lancer could tell whenever he did turn something in. 
Young Fenton also cared a lot about justice in his essays. He often pointed out the flaws and pressures society put on the characters of their fictional worlds. It somewhat extended to reality as well and Danny would call out his bullies on their behavior, almost self-sacrificially when it came to protecting his peers, but then, paradoxically he would run at the slightest sign of Amity Park typical troublesome ghosts as if even his friends' safety meant nothing to him.
Even if not by his parents, abuse was still high on the list of his theories of what made Danny so offset. Maybe more than what he’d get from bullies too, since those somehow didn't actually faze Fenton, as if he was used to much worse… and wasn't that a scary thought. 
A small kid like Danny, in a small town like Amity Park couldn't be in a gang. This sounded like denial even to his own ears, since that might actually explain some things, but he also just knew that it wasn't that. 
There were several signs missing for that scenario, and overall Daniel's personality and sense of justice wouldn't allow it. 
Much more likely would be that the kid was actively looking for fights by butting into bad people's business. Maybe vigilantism of sorts. 
But again, Amity Park just wasn't that big of a town to make this theory make sense. 
William put down the pen and rubbed his face exhaustedly. 
He had already visited the Fenton home, had spoken with Jasmine and even attempted to get something out of Danny directly. But nothing had led anywhere so far. 
And tonight wouldn't get him anywhere else either. 
With a sigh he decided to take a break and go for a walk. It was almost dark and the air should be refreshingly crisp. 
After another spine popping stretch he got up and made a detour to the kitchen. He might as well take out the trash. 
The building was quiet when he left his apartment. Only some sounds of TVs or Radios filtered through the closed doors of his fellow tenants. 
The air outside was fresh bordering on cold and if he hadn't brought the trash with him he might have reconsidered stepping out of his home. 
So he hunched his shoulders a bit as he made his way around the building, bracing against some breeze that cut through his shirt and made him shiver. 
The bag was thrown away quickly and he was already turning around when he heard something. 
A groan. Of pain. Lancer turned back towards the alley and squinted into the shadows while reaching for his phone in case he was about to be mugged or attacked by a ghost.
Once he had it ready to call the emergency line, he held his breath and listened. 
Had he imagined it? He wasn't sure. The dark always spurred on his paranoia.
But after a moment he heard another muffled gasp. Something was there. 
"Hello? Do you need help?" he called carefully into the dark as his heart picked up pace. 
Then he noticed: No… not dark. 
Something was illuminating the alley. He hadn't realized at first, but now that his eyes were adjusting he could make out a faint green glow coming from next to a dumpster further back. 
"If you're okay, say so, otherwise I will come over now, please stay calm, I just want to help" Lancer announced with false confidence. His heart was beating a mile a minute in anticipation and sweat was starting to form at the back of his neck. 
Someone who was hurt or scared might lash out and he was not sure how to deal with that. William Lancer wasn't a fighter after all, so he relied on language to project his intentions and hoped for the best. 
There wasn't a reply other than some irregular breathing and more sounds of someone in pain. 
He was almost there when the mystery person ( because this was too loud for a rat, and what else would take breaths like that, if not a person?) did gasp something out that Lancer couldn't quite catch but sounded a lot like "Stay away". But even though Lancer couldn't quite understand it, his heart skipped. The voice sounded young. And scared. 
Dread filled him and Lancer stopped his stalling. He took the last few steps and when he reached the dumpster and peered in the gap beside it, it gave away to a short figure, bracing itself against the side of the container and clutching their side. Not a Person. Not a human. Yet someone very familiar was huddled in the gap. 
Toxic green eyes stared up at him with hostility and apprehension. 
"I said, stay. Away." Phantom snarled with bared teeth. 
His whole posture, no, the whole aura around Phantom, radiated danger. 
Lancer's phone clattered on the stone floor of the alley as he staggered a few steps back. 
Almost every instinct told him to run. To get out of here while he still could, that the thing in front of him could rip him apart. That he was facing a cornered animal. 
Almost all of his instincts were sure he was in danger. Almost. 
Even with all the alarm bells, Lancer forced himself to take a stuttering breath. He never had been the wisest person. 
The voice sounded young. Even the second time around when there was venom and Spite and bared teeth gnashed and snarled and the oppressive threat of- no. That wasn’t what he heard when he heard the painful sounding gasps earler…  he shook his head. 
Something was wrong here. 
Now it was instinct against instinct. Lancer could feel them clash painfully as if it was tearing him apart. There was the desire to flee, to run, to get back to safety, to run from the beast in front of him that could disembowel him with one claw… 
And then there was his instinct as a teacher that right now screamed against his fear that there was a child right in front of him and the child needed help. 
He tried to look at Phantom again. Really look at him. Something he had never gotten a chance to before. Phantom right now. Was……… He couldn’t see. He couldn’t properly pin down what he was looking at. His brain screeched “Monster”, but it was more like his imagination overlaid that image. 
Against the pull of his mind, he slowly crouched down to eye level with the ghost, who still stared at him with his teeth bared and coiled to strike growling and hissing at him to back off… 
Lancer squinted at the figure again and tried to really look. It was as if there was a filter. As if something prevented him from really seeing the creature in front of him- 
Like an optical illusion or an after image all conjured up by his fears. 
"I said. Get away." Phantom…. snarled?… no. It wasn't a threat, it sounded more like you'd expected someone in pain to sound. Something more like a plea to be left alone. Not aggression, but desperation. 
Lancer blinked a few times against the weird haze of confusion. Phantom wasn't coiled to strike either, he was fighting to even stay crouching. Green oozed out from under his hand he had pressed to his side. His face was tense with clenched teeth against pain. 
"You're hurt." he observed and something flitted over Phantom's face. 
"you're hurt and you're…. you look…" William trailed off. What did Phantom look like. Like a Child? Small?... Familiar?
Phantom's expression did something complicated between pain, horror and fear. Phantom's expression, there was something about… his face…  his features. Lancer knew that face. He saw it every day he felt like. The colors felt wrong but the more he squinted against the fog, the more his mind screamed at him that this child was someone he knew and cared for. He took the figure in once more and furrowed his brows, he knew this person, why couldn't he place them-
Out of nowhere a sharp pain flashed through Lancer's head and for a moment he only saw white, he thought Phantom had done something. He clutched his head as if he had to hold it together. 
Then, as sudden as it had come it disappeared. 
When Lancer looked up again, with sweat on his forehead and breath coming in short bursts almost matching with the ghosts labored wheezes, whatever had been distorting his perception was gone. His vision was clear as day. No haze, no fog, no distortion.  
He couldn't marvel at the phenomenon though, because now that he wasn't seeing through a filter anymore, he was no longer staring at Phantom.
The kid was the same. But there was no mistaking it. 
He was without much doubt looking at his student. 
Lancer had been close to a panic attack for the last few minutes now. But this was giving him whiplash. He recoiled and landed gracelessly on his butt when the realization hit him like a stack of books. 
So this is what he had been missing? The big centerpiece of the puzzle? The one thing that made all his observations finally point into the same direction? 
In front of him was his troubled student. 
Danny Fenton. Who had white hair, green eyes, glowing skin… and was currently bleeding out behind a dumpster in an alley.
And really, there was no mistaking him. Kids dyed their hair all the time. Some of the goths even used colored contacts on a daily basis. It was impossible to look at the kid in front of him and not recognize Danny Fenton.
"Hot cat on a tin roof," he commented.
Fenton picked that moment to gasp in pain and to curl in on himself further. Barely managing to look back up at his teacher, but what Lancer saw was fear. Fear of William. 
The teacher carefully reached out to his student and helped steady him by his shoulder.  He felt like ice. 
"You're- Danny, you're hurt! I have so many questions right now, but first, how do I help? Can you stand? Should I call your parents? An ambulance?" he tried to sound steady, this was no time to panic, even though his student was blee- no. He had to focus on the now. 
"No hospitals, it's not safe." Fenton mumbled. A bit more urgently the amended "parents don't know, you can't tell them… please." 
Lancer swallowed hard, this was bad.
And immediately it got worse. 
"s'ry i feel- kinda dizzy" with only that much as a warning Danny went slack under Lancer's grip who barely managed to catch the teen as he sagged against his teacher. 
Then to his surprise, rings of light flashed to life and the icy body in his arms was replaced by a warm and much more familiar version of his student. 
Reading Danny’s essays through this new lens was going to be an interesting endeavor from now on, William thought through stress induced amusement.
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seasononesam · 2 years
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Supernatural Make Me Choose: @abysswarlock asked ghosts or demons?
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sirensskai · 2 months
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Help me I keep having dreams involving sims 2 premades 😭 I’ve had three in the span of a week 😍
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mqonlighting · 2 months
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real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.
will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again
#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be#a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute#ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to#‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m#not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik#ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig#and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs#but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord.#i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were#i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve#tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit#on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i#would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther#but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall#y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the#prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would#turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on#us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just#and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel#like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO#SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like#think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein#nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I#HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and#during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say#smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and#think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail#in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS.#I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE#BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK
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What are some Spanish shows you would recommend to someone wanting to learn more Spanish through shows? Preferably shows that where they’re streamed at have a subtitles option
(Same anon, meant to include movies as well but forgot before sending)
Hello anon!! Let's see:
Shows:
I am currently watching El Ministerio del Tiempo (The Ministry of Time), it's a great show to not only learn about the language but also about the history of Spain as the show is about these time travelers trying to mantain history untouched, it's pretty neat! I've done some googling and it used to be on Netflix, but I don't think it is anymore. I've seen there's some English subtitles you can download, but I don't know how you can integrate that into the original video. Here is a post about someone using like a plugin to see the subs directly through the RTVE Play page (where it's still available) so maybe try there.
I just spent fifteen minutes looking for Spanish shows that have easy access to English subtitles but I haven't found any (at least of the ones I like), so I think they might be a bit tricky to find; I'll recommend them to you nevertheless in case you manage to get a hold on them.
The quintessential Spanish TV shows are imo Los Serrano (The Serrano Family) and Aquí No Hay Quién Viva (Nobody Can Live Here); they both have very simple premises and are just lighthearted sitcoms (Los Serrano is more narrative while Aquí No Hay Quién Viva is more similar to The Office). The latter is probably the most iconic one of the two, it is quoted daily and it is really good, while the former just exemplifies the 00s in Spain (keep in mind the shows are form the 00s so some of the plots might have not aged so well).
Paquita Salas is a modern classic, this one is definitely inspired by shows like The Office and it's also incredibly iconic, memeable and quotable. Anyways, it's about this washed up talent manager and her agency, and it has tons of cameos from famous Spanish people, it's very fun. It is on Netflix but I do not know if it has English subs (I think it does tho. Maybe? There's a possibility that's for sure). Also the seasons are like 6 episodes each so it's very easy to watch.
Skam España :) It had to be here :) And I know it has English subs cause I helped translating it lol. It's basically the Spanish remake of Skam, it's very good and I really recommend it. From season 2 onwards you can watch it completely in Youtube (just search for skam españa season x in the search box and you should be fine), or you can go to the best place in the universe, where you can find all episodes in true skam fashion :)
I am kinda embarrassed cause I haven't watched many Spanish shows so I cannot really speak for myself, but here goes a list of shows that I've heard are pretty good and where you can find them (maybe subbed!): Las Chicas del Cable (Netflix), Sky Rojo (Netflix), Merlí (Amazon Prime), Vis a Vis (Netflix), Veneno (Netflix), and El Internado (Netflix).
Movies:
I have watched even less Spanish movies so yeah. But I can still recommend some let's see
La Llamada (The Call, in English is called Holy Camp! for some reason) is the only Spanish musical I respect, I've seen both the movie and the original musical and I love them both so much, the movie is great (with the original actors of the stage production) and yeah I couldn't recommend it enought. It basically is about these teen girls who are at bible camp and one of them starts dreaming about God. It sounds boring now that I think about it but it's not I can assure you. It isn't really religious either don't worry. It used to be on Netflix but I don't think it is there still, I'm sorry :(
This one's a bit controversial but I'm putting it here cause it really shows the contrast between different regions in Spain; Ocho Apellidos Vascos (Eight Basque Surnames, once again, the English name for this movie is Spanish Affair for some reason???). Anyways, this one was a revolution when it came out, I don't know how many times I watched it in the span of like 2 months, it was a lot. The actors are all great, the story is pretty solid and it's generally funny I think (albeit maybe perpetuating certain stereotypes). It is a very simple premise; guy meets girl, guy falls in love with said girl and follows her from Sevilla to Euskadi. On Google it says it's on Netflix, Amazon Prime and HBO so... yeah.
The most beloved Spanish filmmaker is Pedro Almodóvar, and his movies are classics (that I have yet to see). Mujeres al Borde de un Ataque de Nervios (Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown) and Volver (Return) are probably his best works, and I really recommend them! They are both available on Netflix :)
Last week I watched another really famous Spanish movie from a director who passed away earlier this month, ¡Ay Carmela!, a movie about this troupe of itinerant artists during the Civil War that really shows how both sides of the war were. It's on HBO Max.
As with shows, here are some rapid-fire Spanish movies I've heard are pretty good: Los Santos Inocentes (Amazon Prime), Bienvenido, Mister Marshall (HBO Max), El Laberinto del Fauno (HBO Max and Disney Plus), Celda 211 (Netflix and HBO Max), La Lengua de las Mariposas (Amazon Prime), Mar Adentro (HBO Max), and Amanece Que No es Poco (HBO Max and Amazon Prime). I have actually watched the three last ones lol, I just didn't remember them.
Hope these recommendations serve you well, and please let me know if you watch any :)
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absurdthirst · 1 year
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The new Fast & Furious 95 looks pretty cool 🙄
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lesbiacnh · 2 months
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omg i get a little stressed and to cope i end up playing esthetician until 130 am and go to bed feeling worse than before. and like id pluck every leg hair out but haven’t brushed my teeth yet. and after that my skin gets soo bad and im like whattttt why is this uappening.
#text#the past couple of months have been crayzeeeeeee but now things are cslm. but im still 🫨🫨🫨 mentally bc im not in a good routine or anything#it always starts bc im like ‘i need to take better care of myself’ and then ends badly. lol#tiktok ‘everything shower’ joke kinda made me get back into the strange habit of doing the absolute bare minimum + doing everything in one#night and feeling worse. instead of like having a more consistent routine#rly i need to start working out again. it helps me regulate things bc i like to plan ahead lol#im on anxiety meds now so im gonna TRYYYYYY to help myself by getting in a better routine#AND BY THAT. i mean SLOWLY bc ive gone through this cycle before and and starting things all on the same day is a variant of this.#and i gotta get off my phone. my neck fucking hurts from sitting weird and scrolling too long#tiny bit cringy to admit but i want to find a stim toy that i could do the same scroll motion on. if that makes sense#like a smooth peice of metal or something. maybe i’ll buy a little keychain and see if that could replace the motion while im chillin doing#something else#SORRY if anyone does read this usually i reread my posts to make sure im coherent before posting but its 140 something am and im high again#ALSO 2024 resolution im done being high on most week nights. i need to calm down w it#ok last thing bc this is funny#phoebe bridgers song came on while i was driving home and the one lyric was like im not afraid of going back to school…….#and it hit me in that exact moment bc I AMMMMMM AFRAID TO go back to school but im not‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ it’s fine‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i am not gonna#ok goodnight. i brushed my teeth#sabotage this.
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k1rishiki · 2 months
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ok fr last one but there's actually a bootleg of my school's anastasia and i'm linking it bc you all NEED to understand that my infatuation with this one girl's voice which started when i was in the 6th grade and still hasn't really worn off isn't based on nothing
#brielle's the one in the n95 mask (the video is too grainy to actually make out any of the ensemble's faces but she stands out)#and i'm the in my 'teenage tboy's diy first short haircut' era in every scene she's in#apart from everything abt the girl who plays anya. the tea on everyone else is that our director liked the boy who played gleb's voice so#much that she actually lowered some if not all of his parts to be in his range. the guy who played vlad was a total diva and uhm. the phras#'peaked in high school' has been tossed around at him a lot. and the fact that he came back to sub the year after he graduated isn't helpin#his case. also he pressured the girl who played anya's grandmother into wearing old age makeup + spray her hair grey bc he decided he was#going to wear it and since she's supposed to be older than him she had to too and used to waltz into the girls' changing room whenever he#wanted. everyone was like super shocked during auditions though bc we all thought he was a shoe-in for dimitry esp since seniors get#priority casting bc it's their last chance. but at callbacks (we had singing auditions via video and dance auditions in person and callback#were tacked on to the dance auditions) he kinda flubbed his song and then this freshman. who was with us via google meet bc he literally ha#covid at the time absolutely blew him out of the water and i remember walking away w brielle like 'holy shit [first name] [last name] just#lost a part to a freshman' (he's the kind of person you just have to full name otherwise it sounds wrong). that said i do think he made a#much better vlad then he would've made a dimitry and while he is. a lot. he's always been nice to me and i did briefly idolize him and his#stage presence way i did anya's singing voice but that faded when i got into hs and started actually observing his prima donna ways#(the one production we were in together before in middle school we didn't have any scenes together). the girl who played the grandma#actually shouted me out in cast circle and that's the only time that's ever happened to me. also i'm p sure her dad is/was dating someone m#dad and by extension myself work with so that's. Oh My God. like she (the one who works for my dad) brought him w her to a comedy show as i#think her bf but i'm not 100% sure and when he found out what school i went to he mentioned his daughter went there and despite the fact#that i basically have a script for when people ask me that question bc i do NOT pay attention to most of my fellow students and don't know#anyone i was like 'holy shit' bc i actually did. hm what else. the guy who played the tsar and i used to shittalk bad period dramas#backstage during the first part of act 2. also during the press conference scene i need you to picture all the bolshevik soldiers and#romanov royals doing the macarena behind the curtain bc that was absolutely what we were doing back there. speaking of the press conference#the really high singing w/o a clear source was actually anya standing behind the curtain on the other side of the stage bc she's the only#one who physically could sing the part. also in regards to the bolshevik soldiers. we were originally supposed to have wooden rifles but fo#some reason our director took them out so we had to just walk menacingly towards the romanovs. you can't rlly see me that well in that scen#but that jacket would NOT stay closed and for 2/3 performances i had to awkwardly hold it closed the entire time. luckily the one that was#filmed was the one where i was smart enough to bring safety pins and also saved like all of the ballerinas bc their costumes all started#falling apart at once backstage.#romeo.txt#theatreposting
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posarmeklen · 2 years
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A certain blue-haired blowhard and his closest friend may have gotten a tad closer than usual one night during winter break. Now, he’s mentally running down the “A Pregnancy Was Just Announced To Me” FAQs list as a conversation with his long-time pal suddenly feels like the most painfully uncomfortable case of having to make small talk in the world. Ugh, I hate when that happens!
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