#i was just eating dinner with my parents

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner? #and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section' #danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's) #so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.' #tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!' #dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again' #tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints? #tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills? #how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!' #damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager) #on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!! #uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

[soldier-poet-king]

Suddenly hysterical (in a bad way????) Okay???

#solution to hysteria is always shower. always #i already made dinner so ill eat after #and maybe itll be ok..?? #is this bc i had a caramel macchiato this afternoon #i never buy fancy sugary coffee #its like. a rare treat for me #i usually just go for americano or flat white. im v boring ik #BUT I SAID. oh no a trear #but that was like FOUR HOURS AGO #why am i AHHHHHH now #(this week this week this week is sm im going back to my parents house. ew. might be finding out abt that job #my boss comes back from vacation. its just alot all at once and i rlly just wanna nap #AND i didnt end up going thrift shopping today bc i got sad again and embroidered for like 4 hrs instead #what i really want is to go to the el cheapo thrift shop that isnt bougie but like dirt cheap like a proper secondhand store #i cannot get there by transit its technically in mississauaga #so i would need to borrow my mother's car #which means she would want to come #which means i cannot shop in the men's section for fun patterned button downs #BLEGH BLEGH BLEGHHHHHHHH #do u undersrand how much i want fun patterned button downs and also an old man blazer #NOTHING IN THE WOMENS FITS MY SHOULDERS PROPERLY OK #the duality of fran #if i could wear mens pants with my hips i WOULD

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[gojuo]

fomo on ff7 rebirth hitting hard bc im too busy in life to play games right now + i made a promise to myself to never buy games at full price ever again

#i live and breathe work now btw 😃 leave home early come home late #i dont even eat dinner anymore bc i just dont have the time but also after a full day worth of work i dont #have an appetite anymore. pretty bad for my ed but i need to have money 😃😃 #it sucks when ur parents are poor bc i dont work a salary for myself i work a salary for 3 people lmao but what can you do ... #this is the life of a second gen immigrant. nothing i can do about it #bakma bana

[nerdie-faerie]

Started the year with 5 plates and now my second to last plate just cracked halfway through so I guess I gotta stop procrastinating and actually buy new plates now

#adulting #i bought like 50p plain boring white plates and bowls first year of uni cus my friends thought getting a whole dinner set was ridiculous #and now all my side plates are broke which i prefer eating off of and i only have 1 of the 3 dinner plates left #cus it just spontaneously cracked which also happened to one of the bowls my parents have cus they have the same ones #so need better dinnerware obviously & i wanted actual fun ones anyway to match my mugs but now its a necessity rather than when i have time #i dunno how to find fun dishes though :/ i want some green/plant themed ones but all plates are just boring and plain

[thefatfemme]

I can't remember a time when my mom wasn't on a diet. It makes me really sad.

#thefatfemme #My sister and I never stood a chance at having a healthy relationship with our bodies or with food #Neither of our parents could teach us how #And with the holidays upon us it's weighing on me #Mom skips dessert at almost every holiday and it's not because she doesn't like sweets #Dad counts every calorie and skips meals to 'save up' for the big family dinner #Idk it's just really sad #fatphobia #body acceptance #fat acceptance #intuitive eating #family #holidays #diet culture #Diet #Tw diet #calories #dieting

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

july 3, 2021 2:00 a.m. grant's house

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #ts4 screenshots #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #sorry about the slow restart bc this is where the last scene was supposed to END but i didn't have time to make this part before #in case you are confused this is following up on him remembering the awful dinner scene with his parents and sister #the most grant thing ever is wearing a silly goofy ass tshirt while having an absolutely terrible PTSD flare up #once again shout out to @stargazer-sims for making the best cc i have literally ever downloaded #i want to download them into my irl wardrobe y'all don't even understand how bad i want these #btw grant continues to have his grandma aoife “uhhhh i'm stressed i'm just gonna bake and eat the products of my labor” moments #can anyone say addictive behavior transfer? whee *sad cheers* #holocene.png #holocene.docx #hlcn: grant

[anaalnathrakhs]

getting out of my bed is ALWAYS a mistake <3

#give them an inch they'll take a mile #they always have to ruin everything #i just have to start the topic of ''uh so about dinner...'' and instead of perhaps. supposing. #that their kid struggling w various eating disorders might be already kinda stressed about the whole thing #they just go ooooooh yeah why not dine out tonight #FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU #why have you completely stopped giving a single flying shit about what might be difficult for me #the very second i started being able to control the VISIBLE UNSTOPPABLE PANIC #why does something have to be litterally the end of the world for me for you to fucking care for once #why is this the only way to have quality time with my own goddamn parents. mandated enabled binge sesh. #I KNOW IM THE PROBLEM #TRUST ME I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WE GET OUT OF EACH OTHERS LIVES EITHER #BUT IN THE MEANTIME YOU COULD FUCKING TRY TO NOT TRAP ME INTO IMPROMPTU TORTURE SESSIONS #LESS THAN SIX MONTHS BEFORE IM OUT OF YOUR HAIR FOREVER HOPEFULLY #YOU SIGNED UP TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICES WHEN YOU HAD A KID CMON DONT GIVE UP NOW #im. god. i know i shouldnt hate them for that. they do make sacrifices and efforts. #just entierly the wrong sacrifices and efforts that don't ever fucking help #they're full of love but goddamn are they awful at raising a child #broadcasting my misery #vent

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

My sister’s boyfriend asked my parents for their blessing to propose to her while she was distracted with my kids at Thanksgiving, so I guess that’s happening.

#I don’t like. not like him exactly #it’s more like they’ve been together a year and a half #and somehow I feel like I don’t know him much more than my family knew my husband in the less than 4 months from meeting to married #it’s just hard to picture like this person is going to be my BIL #I feel like a lot of our interactions are still stilted #and it feels like he always has an excuse not to come with my sister to see us #unless my parents are also there #even though they seem to hang with his sister and her husband pretty regularly #and he wants to have everyone waiting to surprise her for dinner after the proposal #and I just have a feeling he’s not going to be thoughtful enough to take our kashrus into consideration #and we’re going to spend $$$ on a babysitter to sit around and not eat

[lilydvoratrelundar]

Yall ever meet someone who is very clearly autistic and obviously knows about how The Autism functions because they have an autistic kid or two but like. You have no idea if they're at all aware of their own autism. This post is about both of my parents and also my gcse english teacher

#God my parents get into the most autistic ass arguments its so funny. Theyre not fighting they just disagree and forcefully repeat #Their own opinion and endlessly clarify what they mean in increasingly frustrated terms #And im also sat at the dinner table like i know you'll be fine but this is absolutely nothing. There id no argument here. #Its so funny sometimes. Im especially thinking about the time my mum came downstairs and said something like oh im so hungry #And my dad was like ok what do u want for dinner and started cooking dinner #And then we had dinner at like half 6 (early for us) and my mum was like why are we eating so early #And my dad and i were both like. You said u were really hungry??? #And then the entire meal was them slightly frustratedly talking past each other about what they actually meant #lily dot tee ex tee #autism moments

[filthyjanuary]

feeling sad :(

#sorry this is such a dumb thing to be sad about im a grown ass adult but like two thirds of the people i invited to my birthday #either cant come or said they would then bailed and like #some of them have legit reasons but some of them i'm kind of like :/ ok well i put in so much effort for yall would be really nice #if a crumb of that was reciprocated #idk i dont ask for much on my birthday i just want to have a nice dinner with my friends #and i have friends who like throw the biggest tantrum fusses about their birthdays and make it this entire spectacle #and people still humour them so it's kind of like #idk #do i really suck that bad that you cant make a saturday evening work to like eat good food #idk maybe next year i just wont plan anything #and everyone'll be like BUT SIMA IT'S THE BIG ONE and i'll be like well! i wish it werent! #bc it'll suck even more to have people not come lmao i dont actually think i've ever had a milestone birthday people just dont give a shit #this includes my parents idk like they are nice to me on my birthday but like no birthday was ever like hashtag special #and like the holidays already sucked so bad this year they did not feel like the holidays half the people i got presents for #didnt get me anything which is like fine i dont give presents to get them back but it kind of sucks to not even get a card? a thank you??? #idk this is so stupid i am turning 29 i pay taxes this should not be a big deal #maybe it's bc i feel like half my 20s were pandemic years so it kind of sucks that theyre basically over and idk im just feeling sad and ol #and lonely and just kind of shitty and unlikeable #AND IT'S DUMBBBBB TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST IDK WHY I'M CRYING FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.

#this is a silly haha humor post but in all seriousness. #COVID rly is just making me stare all the internalized ableism in the eye #yes worth isnt defined by productivity and disability and the idea of being a burden is part of being human and isn’t shameful at all #until I have to minorly inconvenience people to meet my basic needs #I really want to eat dinner but that would require asking my roommates to make me dinner which is just. 5 kinda of mortifying. #even though if someone I knew was sick I would not be upset about making them food! sick people need to eat! #my parents ordered me chipotle yesterday bc they were so concerned bc of how I sounded over the phone #and my friend went out and bought me juice and Gatorade and popsicles and took me to the doctor #the support system Exists I just feel bad about having to use it T-T #I just want to be hugged and read to and reminded to eat food but I am an adult now and not at home #lonely TT-TT #it’ll be okay I’m probably just emotional bc I’m sick and hungry #I also just am struggling so hard because I want to catch up on my classwork Right Now #but I can get through maybe one assignment before I’m too exhausted to keep sitting up #and I have to lay down and close my eyes and sleep or do a light activity like playing candy crush for the fifty bazillionth time #I’ve gotten through like. 100 levels this week. #I’m losing my dang marbles. I am gonna be so behind in ASL Susan is gonna be so disappointed in me #I feel like I have all this energy when I’m laying down bored but as soon as I sit up I feel like I’m floating and about to fall over #so. so tired. why can’t I be healthy already and do homework T-T. #I’m choosing to take this as a lesson to slow down and not overwork myself so hard. instead of being mad at myself for getting behind. #<- is trying and failing not to be mad at herself for getting behind

[canisonicscrewyou]

I’m the only one home tonight so I ordered myself sushi AND I’m making a big focking tray of brownies that I’m NOT gonna let chill before cutting into

#I was supposed to go out w friends tonight but none of us actually planned anything thru and I’m Not Complaining #would love to eat breakfast for dinner but also love cancelling plans tbqh #my parents went out to eat and my partner is getting dinner w their new coworkers #just me and the bois (almondmilk and my parents dog) #boys night in

[shirleyjacksonesque]

once again hating my life, missing my friends, and really wishing i wasn't a mother figure to my little sister

#my life revolves around my parents work schedule. all of my friends from key coub just went to the convention together and posted about it #. my sister comes to me every time my dad gets mad at her and i have to feed her and make sure she actually eats her dinner and watch her #for like 15 hours a week #april.fuck

[seariii]

I need someone to sit on my bed and pet my head while I fall abck asleep

... and to kiss my forehead and say goodnight to me

#im sorry i crave affection... its 1am i eont think my parents are still awake... i shoulf eat something #yesh i yhink im huntry.... sleeping on my bed is rejuvenatinh #also i twice got called 'the little sister' today and my younger brother had to specify 'shes the middle sibling' and i just looked at them #its funny and good for my self esteem when peoplr sau that hehe #i want sincronizadas... yeah ill make a proper dinner for myself #seari talks