#i was like oh it'll be a week long project

[crescentmp3]

hehe...

#im done with the problem sets for this week (aka the ones i managed to do.) #and now i'll be making my own little problem #its not long! it'll be like a text adventure talking about tomorrow #oh - since‚ you know‚ tomorrow is eid. #ahem! and it'll be a little project that i do on my own #without having to abide by any restrictions like i do in the problem sets #of course this means i'll have to get a little creative. but it's fine! im sure i'll be done by just today #🌙rambling

[blackhairedjjun]

rebound and restoration

pairing: choi yeonjun x fem reader | genre / tropes: angst -> fluff, friends to lovers, post-breakup, non-idol au; ft. soobin + mentions of the rest of txt; reader is yeonjun's age (soobin calls reader "noona") | word count: 5.4k | warnings: post-breakup heartbreak, profanity, food, kissing

additional note: fic is mostly written but contains a few texts

summary: with his heart still aching after just getting dumped, yeonjun turns to you, one of his closest friends, for comfort. that is, until he kisses you - and your friendship starts to change.

author's notes: honestly i feel like if i don't post this soon i'll be dissatisfied with it forever and edit it endlessly and it'll never get past my drafts LOL perfect is the enemy of done!! anyway i wrote this while i was feeling stressed and insane during the holidays and wanted... an angsty kiss for whatever reason. lmao yeah

(support by reblogging banner by @cafekitsune)

when yeonjun arrives at your apartment, it’s still early in the evening; the two bowls of pho you ordered for takeout are still hot, and you’ve left your laptop open at a selection of cheesy netflix rom-coms. perhaps the selection is a bit ironic, but you mused that the feel-good escapism is just what he needs.

he pulls you into a hug and you give him an extra squeeze and a few pats on the back. you can’t help but ruffle his hair a little as he pulls away. 

“hey, jjun...”

“y/n!”

“how are you feeling?”

“ah, a bit better, i think.”

he gives you a slight smile, and you’re too relieved to notice that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. it’s a miracle to you that he’s even smiling again two weeks after his breakup. you still remember the cracks in his voice when he called you after it had happened, the rims of his eyes red with crying when he finally crashed at your place half an hour later. that night you held him tight as he told the story to you in between sobs: hana had broken up with him over a call that lasted less than a minute. she was bored and tired of him and just stopped caring, she said, if he were a toy she could throw away if she didn’t want to play with it anymore.

you swallowed back the anger in your throat back then, though you couldn’t help the tears of your own that fell. now you push the anger back down again as you lead yeonjun to the small table at your kitchenette, one of the bowls of pho steaming in front of him. now is not the time for indignation; your friend needed comfort, and it’s comfort you will give.

yeonjun’s eyes light up at the sight of the pho. your heart swells, and you don’t hold it against him when he sits down ahead of you and picks up his chopsticks, ready to dig in. in between slurps he grins like he’s just received the best present of his life. “this is so good!” he said in between mouthfuls of noodles. “it’s been way too long since i had this.”

“i know! feels like we haven’t had this in ages.”

“remember when we tried to make our own?”

“oh god, not that!” you laugh, dropping your chopsticks. “we got impatient and that broth tasted like nothing.”

“your kitchen smelled like ginger though,” yeonjun recalls with a giggle. “it was nice visiting for a while.”

“my kitchen smelled like ginger more than the actual broth, jjun.”

“maybe we can try again one of these days? and if we mess up, at least you’ll have a nice-smelling kitchen again.”

all you can do in response is laugh, and for a moment you forget that you stopped having pho nights together when hana entered his life.

he fills you in on video game night with soobin and kai, shopping with beomgyu, and his so-called revenge gym day with taehyun; he beams with pride while describing his new weight record just as much as he does when talking about managing a hard-earned victory over soobin at tekken. you laugh along with him, knowing that his friends blocked out their schedules just to comfort him for a day. and when you talk about your new project at work and the new books you bought yourself as a treat, his eyes fill with that indescribable look you’ve seen before. you can’t quite place what it is, but it reminds you of afternoon light, of summer days, of lingering hugs after a long day together.

you don’t need to ask for yeonjun to help you clear out the table and pick up the snacks you set aside for your movie, and you make no effort to resist. there are no words exchanged: he simply places all the disposable pho bowls and chopsticks together, and you reach for a clean garbage bag and put them all in. the only communication between you is a shared look and a nod.

perhaps it’s just your imagination, but that look lingers a little longer than you’re used to, and you can’t help but give him a satisfied smile.

you’ve seen him look at hana that way, too many times to count, especially during that early-dating phase when the thrill of emotions was still high. you wondered what it was like to be on the receiving end of that gaze, for yeonjun to look at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. and you wondered if hana really was that precious 一 if she were just as precious to him as you, his best friend, if not more so.

you let yeonjun select the movie. at first you doubt your idea to present him with rom-coms, of all things, but you let out a sigh of relief when he happily chooses one of them. both of you have seen this one many times over, but you don’t mind. there’s comfort in knowing that a happy ending is guaranteed to happen.

the two of you are slouched on your couch together, the laptop balanced on a pillow between the both of you. yeonjun sits close to you, an arm around your shoulder, a gesture that he hasn’t done with you since he started dating. you let yourself lean against him (so that you can see the screen better, you tell yourself). the two of you start a running commentary on the movie 一 “why would he say that?!” “aww, they look so cute together,” “oh god, that was so stupid!” 一 and both of your laughter fills the apartment, the sound like a duet in harmony.

it’s so easy this way, you think 一 just you and your best friend in your own little corner of the world. you steal a glance at yeonjun while he’s absorbed in the final confession scene, a soft smile on his lips and his eyes gleaming with anticipation for the big kiss. a string of memories flash before you before you can help yourself.

“she said yes,” he says, his whole face flush with excitement. “she said she’ll be mine.”

his hands are on your shoulders and he gives them a gentle squeeze. “there’s no way hana can’t like you. you’re one of my best friends, i’ll make sure you get along.”

“i think hana’s mad at me,” he tells you as he fiddles with the beanie in his hands. “but don’t worry about it, we’ll talk it out, i promise.”

his head is in his hands as you sit across him from a restaurant booth. “i don’t know what i did wrong, she looked so bored through the whole date...”

you hold him close as he sobs in your arms, his whole body shaking. “sh-she said she’s... tired of me…”

“y/n?”

you snap back to reality as yeonjun glances at you, his head tilted. the ending credits of the movie have started to play. “are you okay?”

“i-i’m fine.” you reach out to touch his cheek, then hesitate. “are you okay?”

“i’m fine, y/n.” he picks up on the meaning of your words. “i know i looked really bad that night, but i’m getting better, i promise.”

“good.” your eyes meet his, and your cheeks grow warm. “we can have nights like this as many times as you want until you feel better, okay?”

“yeah, i know. i missed having nights like this, actually.”

“me too. i really liked it when we did this all the time...”

“i know. i’m sorry. hana didn’t like一”

“hey.” your hand comes up again and this time, you gently hold on to his cheek. “it doesn’t matter what she thinks anymore.”

“y/n... i’m really sorry. i feel like i neglected you, and you’ve been my friend for so long...”

tears form in his eyes, and you feel them warm against his cheek. you wipe them away with your thumb as you move closer to him. he continues to ramble as you do.

“i feel like an idiot. like a total dumbass.” the pitch of his voice begins to rise. “god, i was so convinced that hana and i were the perfect couple, that we’d be happy. i-i thought about her more than she d-did about me, y/n, and i stopped hanging out with you一 when you’ve always一”

“jjun, please don’t apologize anymore,” you say, your voice trembling. “i’ve never been mad at you over her, not even once. i just want you to feel better, okay? i... i just want to see you be yourself again.”

you want to see the yeonjun you’ve always loved.

you’ve lain awake at night wondering if he’s ever sensed your feelings for him, and if he’s ever felt the same way. on the day he told you that he and hana were officially together, you spent that night sobbing in your bed, convinced that your friend would never see you as a lover. and yet you said nothing of that night, and of other nights similar to it, because you told yourself that if hana made him happy, then you would be happy too.

and now you want more than anything to see him happy again.

yeonjun says nothing, but instead places a hand on top of the one you have resting on his cheek. you feel it trembling, but you don’t resist as he grasps your hand to intertwine his fingers with yours. he swallows hard to push back the rest of his tears, and his eyes soften. once again there’s that indescribable look of his that makes you feel light.

“y/n...”

he says your name softly, as if in reverence. his face inches closer to yours and you don’t pull away; instead you feel lighter than ever, your gaze falling to his lips as your eyes flutter shut. everything that follows feels slow, gentle; his nose brushing against yours, then your lips on his.

he kisses you slowly at first, but as you kiss him back you fill with a new fervor, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him wrap his arms around your waist to pull your body flush against his. warmth blooms in your chest, and every movement of yours betrays your feeling: your lips moving against his, your hands making their way into his hair. you want to kiss him until the pain he feels has been replaced by the love you have for him 一 i love you, i love you, i love you.

you’re completely absorbed in him and let out a soft sigh when yeonjun snaps out of it 一 he breaks apart from you, breathing hard, eyes wide as he’s hit by what he’s just done.

“shit, y/n一” he gets off the couch, one hand running through his hair over and over again. “i’m so sorry. fuck, i shouldn’t have done that一”

you’re snapped out of your trance as you stand up to chase after him. “jjun, hey, wait! listen to me—”

he’s picking up his bag from the foot of your couch. he can’t even look at you, instead occasionally letting out a shit or two under his breath.

“yeonjun, please一”

you stand in front of him to block his way from the exit. at first his head is bowed, avoiding your gaze, but when he finally looks up his expression is solemn.

“you are not a rebound to me,” he says at last. “please don’t ever think that i just used you to make me feel better.”

“i never accused you of that! look, i’m sorry too, it was my fa一”

“i’m really sorry, but i can’t stay here anymore. i’ll make it up to you, y/n, i promise.”

“wait一”

yeonjun walks past you and before you can protest any further, he’s out your door. you push it open and try to chase after him, but after a few steps you stop, thinking better of it. what would stopping him even do?

you walk back inside and slump back down on the couch. the screen of your laptop faintly glows, and a half-eaten bag of chips has fallen to the floor. all at once the reality of what happens sinks into you: the kiss, his words, his departure.

you are not a rebound to me. the words echo in your mind.

a strange tension fills you, and you can’t even tell what emotion it’s supposed to be from: confusion, frustration, anxiety. with your whole body seemingly on edge, you grab a throw pillow from the opposite side of your couch and press it into your face.

you sob into it the tension crashes down on you in full force.

一

for the next few nights the scene replays in your dreams: yeonjun leaning in ever closer towards you, your lips meeting his in a fervent kiss 一 each night’s dream-kiss more fervent than the last 一 and him suddenly pulling away. you awaken each time just as he breaks the kiss, the shock and confusion coursing through you again, and immediately after you reach for your bedside table to check your phone.

still no text from yeonjun.

you consider texting him again, but each time you type a new message you erase it, the blinking cursor driving you mad. how would you even know what to say? do you want to apologize? to beg for his forgiveness? to ask if you can still be friends?

you hate to admit it, but every morning you lie in bed for a few moments more to allow the dream to sink in. the look on yeonjun’s face appears vivid to you, from his eyes blown wide to his mouth slightly agape. your mind travels back to the moment he breaks the kiss, as if a sudden force pushed him away, the shock of it hitting you. then it wanders to the kiss itself, the feeling of his lips soft against your own, his arms warm as they hold you by the waist…

you shake the memory away, drag yourself out of bed, and continue on with your routine: breakfast, shower, get dressed. you resist the urge to check your phone for as long as you can. you stare at the little contact photo you set of yeonjun and remind yourself: you’re his friend. you need to help him heal. 

you recount your worries to soobin over snacks one day.

“i feel like i’m being selfish,” you say in between munches of potato chips. “he hasn’t even moved on from hana”— soobin winces at the acridity you mutter her name with—“and now one of his closest friends kisses him like she’s madly in love. how is he supposed to move on? he’s hurting enough as it is.”

soobin sets aside the bag of chips you just finished. he rubs his face with his hands as he tries to choose his words carefully.

“you’re not being selfish, noona. you sound like you’re trying to be careful so that you don’t hurt him,” he says at last. “and yeonjun hyung feels just as bad about it. he feels bad that he even started the kiss, and for making you feel like a rebound. you two sound like each other, to be honest.”

“i know he feels bad, it’s just 一 i don’t know how that will fix...” you wave your hands wildly in the air, “this.”

“you can start by talking to each other?”

“he didn’t reply to my last texts. and i… i don’t know if i should text him again.”

a moment of silence. soobin opens a pack of candy and chews on it, just to give himself time to think. he fiddles with his phone as he does, absentmindedly scrolling through his old texts, when one of them catches his eye.

“so, there’s this new restaurant that beomgyu wants to check out.”

“really, soobin, what does this have to—”

“he was thinking of inviting all of us there to hang out,” he continues. “including you and yeonjun hyung. we can plan for it a week or two from now so that you have space? and then you can get used to talking to him again there. if things get awkward, i can ask beomgyu to fill in.”

you purse your lips. “i dunno, i might cry if i see his face again.”

“if you don’t feel like it, just call in sick.” soobin’s mouth twitches into a small grin as he says it — you know he’s used that excuse to get away from social situations he doesn’t want to be in. now you’re starting to see the appeal of it.

“okay. i’ll think about it.”

—

ultimately you do decide to go, and two weeks later you’re the first to arrive at the restaurant. you can feel your hands trembling as you push the door open and your heart hammering in your chest. in your head you’ve prepared what you want to say to yeonjun and you mentally rehearse your words for the hundredth time.

you slide right into the booth and take a deep breath. you check your phone to keep yourself busy, letting yourself calm down until your hands have stopped shaking. as you’re scrolling through your camera roll looking at some memes beomgyu sent you, someone slides into the booth seat opposite yours.

“hey, y/n.”

yeonjun gives you a shy smile and the nervousness in your stomach kicks into overdrive. he looks much better now; the bags under his eyes have lessened, and his smile seems genuine. still, you can’t help but remember the last time you saw him, and you shudder.

he sees your reaction and winces, averting his gaze. when he speaks, his voice is soft. “y/n... are we okay?”

the question breaks you and whatever words you have prepared fly out of your mind. as you try to grasp at them again, tears prick at your eyes.. “yeah... yeah, we’re okay,” you say. you take a gulp of water to hold back the tears. “i was never mad at you, jjun, i’ve been worried out of my mind一”

“i’m sorry i never replied to your texts.” he places his hands atop your trembling ones. “i just felt so ashamed that i didn’t know how to face you.”

“and i’m sorry i never tried texting you again, i just didn’t know what you thought of me, and i was so scared that i lost you...”

“i was so scared that i lost you.”

you sniffle. “that makes both of us then. god, we were so stupid.”

“i missed you, y/n.”

“i missed you too, jjun.”

you let out a laugh of relief and he laughs too. with the sound of his laughter melding with yours, everything else seems to melt away: the tears in your eyes, the other noises of the restaurant, the baggage of the last two weeks. sitting before you is your old friend, holding onto your hand to comfort you, laughing together with you just like you always have. 

and just as always, you want nothing more than for your friend to be happy.

“so,” you begin, giving him the most reassuring smile that you can muster, “let’s start over?”

yeonjun glances down at the table, but you can see his eyes crinkling as they usually do when he smiles. “yeah, let’s do that.”

when beomgyu enters the restaurant right afterwards, all it takes is one glance at the scene before him to understand what happened. he turns his head towards you, meeting your gaze, and you give him a nod.

it’s going to be okay.

一

the kiss becomes an unspoken part of your history together, never mentioned and never acknowledged. you stop searching for hidden meanings to it, and instead settle on the explanation that it was simply a spur-of-the-moment reaction from pent-up post-breakup emotions. it doesn’t matter to you whether or not this explanation is true; it’s the explanation that gives you the most peace of mind, and that’s what matters. as the days pass, you think of it less and less, and eventually it is filed away in your memory, like a book never checked out of the library collecting dust. 

in the meantime, you pour your energy into rebuilding both your friendship with yeonjun as well as his fragile heart. the first few hangouts with just the two of you are awkward with a tinge of melancholy, with conversations feeling a little too short. fortunately, your shared friends are there to help: you and yeonjun are invited to video game nights at soobin’s, or a cute new cafe that kai wants to check out, or just a walk around the park. the silences feel less awkward when it’s quickly filled by a joke from beomgyu or witty remark from taehyun.

from time to time you see the shine in yeonjun’s eyes disappear, even for just a moment, when he encounters something that reminds him of “the ‘h’ word” (as beomgyu refers to her): a park bench where they had a date, or a dress on a passerby that looks a lot like something she would wear. sometimes one of his friends would recognize it and quickly divert his attention elsewhere. soon those diversions occur less and less often as fewer and fewer things remind yeonjun of her.

but things don’t truly feel normal to you until a month and a half later. your project at work has gone well, and yeonjun has completed the first draft of a mixtape he’s making. just as you muse to yourself that a reward would be nice, your phone buzzes.

that afternoon you and yeonjun stroll down the shopping district a few minutes away from his house, trying on this and that. it isn’t long before you find yourself spending over your budget; it’s hard not to when yeonjun is constantly egging you to buy something you really want. “c’mon, y/n,” he whines as you put back another cute button-down on the rack. “you deserve it! you can wear it to work for the next phase of your project!”

he giggles when he sees your eyes light up at his words. “we do have another presentation for it,” you muse.

still, you draw the line when you spot an elegant tan jacket worn by one of the storefront mannequins. you stare at it longingly as if you’ve found your soulmate, and yeonjun sweet-talks you into entering the shop and trying it on. but when you see the hefty price tag on it, you sigh.

“i can’t justify this, jjun…”

“but you look great in it! and you want it so much. you’ll feel worse if you don’t get it.”

“maybe…” you glance down at the shopping bags in your hand. “i dunno, i’ve spent so much already.”

you sigh in defeat and turn back to the store exit before you can second-guess yourself. yeonjun doesn’t follow immediately, but instead watches you go as he lingers a bit longer.

later that day, the two of you sort through all the things you bought (mostly clothes and accessories, but also a vinyl for yeonjun and a novel for yourself) in between giggles and wide eyes and a shower of compliments. yeonjun puts on a completely new outfit for you and struts down his apartment like a runway model, and he pulls you up from the floor to do the same. soon you’re laughing and clapping at each other’s performances, and yeonjun even whips out his phone to take photos of each other’s best looks.

as you rummage through your haul for one more outfit to assemble, your eyes land on a familiar spot of tan fabric. your mouth falls open when you pull it out and see that jacket — the one you’re pretty sure you didn’t buy. you glance up at yeonjun and he licks his lips before forming a mischievous grin.

“jjun, is this...”

“it’s yours.”

“you didn’t have to一”

“i saw the way you were looking at it, y/n. i just had to get it for you. c’mon, put it on.”

hesitantly, you take off the jacket you’re already wearing and put on the new one. it fits perfectly, just a little loose to let air flow in, and you love how it frames your figure. yeonjun is still smiling at you, but it’s a different smile. he looks at you as if you’ve transformed in front of him.

“you look really pretty,” he says. “let me take a few pics, okay?”

he snaps a few photos of you and you pose for the camera, and a comforting warmth settles over you. if this happened a few months earlier, you would have blushed and your heart would be doing somersaults, but now all you feel is a light flutter. everything feels fit in, like the final piece of a puzzle slotting into place.

you lock eyes with yeonjun as he takes the last photo and puts his phone away. as you whisper “thank you” to him, the gleam in his eyes is reflected in your own. there it is, that indecipherable look of his that makes you feel warm.

you still love him 一 there’s a part of you that still knows that. but over the last month and a half you’ve simply learned to live with your feelings, letting them fill you with lightness for a few moments and then letting them go. feelings or not, you’re just glad to have yeonjun in your life again. even as a friend, his presence is a soothing balm against the stresses of life.

一

months later, yeonjun is sprawled on your couch again, his head on your shoulder as you scroll through your list of rom-coms on your laptop. at one point the two of you resumed your pho and rom-com nights, and you’re glad for it; few things give you as much comfort after a long week of work.

after scrolling back and forth a few times, you pause on the same movie you’ve always watched together and give him a quick look. he simply smiles.

“don’t you get sick of this one?” you ask.

“not really, the ending always feels nice. are you… tired of it?”

“no no, i— i was worried that you’re tired of it.”

“me? never.”

“perfect, ‘cause i’m not either.” you give him a knowing grin and press play.

at this point you both know this movie so well that you recite along to every line. you do the female lead’s lines, yeonjun does the male lead’s, and you even sing along to the soundtrack. yeonjun stretches out on your couch even more, his head ending up in your lap, and in the movie’s quiet moments you find yourself playing with his hair. when the big confession happens you can feel him holding his breath and then releasing it in a laugh when the two leads finally kiss.

the credits roll and he glances up at you, smiling in satisfaction. you smile too and hum along to the end credits song. as the movie ends, you let yourself bask in it: you stretch out your arms, yeonjun sits up to lean on your shoulder again, and you lay your head atop his. the two of you remain like that for a while, sitting in comfortable silence.

“don’t you ever get jealous of them?” you ask.

you feel his head shake a bit as he chuckles. “i hate to admit it, but yeah. rom-coms always make getting together look so... fun.”

“right? i wish my life was like that.”

“god, me too.”

“i swear, it drives me insane,” you huff. “every time i watch this i want to start dating again or something.”

a few more moments of silence. yeonjun lets out a soft exhale and you feel his body grow tense. the air in your apartment seems stuffier.

“speaking of which, i have to tell you something.” 

“me...?”

you’ve never heard yeonjun sound so solemn. his head weighs down on your shoulder. “y’know, i’ve been uh... thinking of dating again.”

“oh... where are you dating this time? did beomgyu set you up again?”

he shakes his head, looks up at you for a split second, then looks down at his hands. you see the tips of his ears turn pink.

“actually, i... i have someone mind. someone i want to ask out, i mean.”

with those words the feelings you’ve brushed aside for so long come back in full force. your heart beats so hard it feels like it’s slamming into your chest. when you speak, your voice shakes.

“oh... who’s the lucky one?”

“i-i’ve known her for a while. she’s sweet and fun to be around... we’ve been hanging out a lot more often these last few months. we get along really well, at least i think we do...”

“sounds like you have chemistry with this special girl,” you say, the words heavy on your tongue. the hammering of your heart floods your ears. “so what’s stopping you from asking her out?”

yeonjun sits up to face you fully. you sense the effort it takes for him to look at you 一 has he ever been like this around you before? 一 and you reach for his hands. they’re trembling, and his ears go from pink to red.

“a long time ago,” he starts, voice shaking, “i kissed her. i kissed her after my last breakup. and i wasn’t thinking straight, i was just so lonely that i wanted to be loved again 一 but i can’t do that to yo— to her, she’s one of my best friends, i don’t want yo— her to be a rebound 一 but then you said we could start over so we did and i dunno, at one point i started liking you, i fell so hard i don’t know wh一”

you interrupt him with a kiss, your lips gentle on his. you feel him kissing you back, his movements gentle as his hand comes up to hold your head in place. you find yourself pressed against him and he’s even warmer than you remember, warmer than those dreams you had so many months ago.

when you break apart, his eyes are glazed over in a look of pure admiration. 

“y/n...”

“jjun, i...” heat spreads across your face. “i’ve loved you for years.”

“then why didn’t you say anything?”

“how could i? what if you didn’t feel that way and it ruined our friendship? and with all the other guys too?” your heart is still beating fast but you let out the words while your boldness still has a hold on you. “and then you dated hana and i cried but i wanted you to be happy 一 then you broke up and you kissed me and i liked it, and i hated myself for liking it because you were 一”

yeonjun pulls you into him, arms encircling you, and as you keep rambling into his chest he soothes you with one hand combing through your hair. his other arm grips you firmly, and your own arms find a firm hold around his neck.

“i love you too, y/n,” he whispers into your hair before leaving a kiss there. “it’s okay.”

“i love you, so much...”

he pulls apart to get a good look at your face. as he sees a few tears start to roll down your cheeks, he brushes them aside with his thumb.

“so this girl,” he says, affection lacing his words, “after we kissed, she said we could start over. and we did. and i’m really glad we did, because i fell for h一 for you so hard.”

you lean your head forward so that your forehead touches his. “really?”

“really. and i...”

“do you want to kiss her again?”

yeonjun’s breath hitches and his eyes meet yours. there it is 一 that same look of his that makes you feel light. the one that, you realize, makes you feel loved.

“can i?”

“please,” you whisper.

he closes the gap between your lips and his, and this time you feel only relief and bliss.

#txt x reader #yeonjun x reader #txt x you #yeonjun x you #choi yeonjun x reader #kpop x reader #txt imagines #kpop imagines #yeonjun imagines #txt angst #txt fluff #yeonjun angst #yeonjun fluff #tomorrow x together imagines #txt fic #txt fanfic #bhj originals

[erwinsvow]

i’m definitely projecting BUT i genuinely feel like shy!reader would have wavy hair and be so insecure about it (even tho it’s so pretty) so it’s always straightened but i just know if rafe saw it he’d fall even deeper in love with the girl!

oh 100%. lets project together angel why not. if you dont have wavy hair pls look away im sorry. but i do have wavy hair that i straighten all the time so ! you sent this to the right bitch

your hair, though you've been told so many times was pretty either way, is usually straightened several times a week, if not daily. it's easy to fall into the trap of preferring it sleek and shiny than the waves that were pretty for the first day, frizzy the next, and somehow constantly clashing with the outfit you selected for the day.

you thought straight hair was easier, looked better, went with everything. even if it wasn't true, you had bought into it for long enough, your blowdryer and flat iron your two best friends.

the first time rafe met you, your hair had been straight. it was that way on your first date, as well as your second and third, as well as every sleepover at tannyhill or early morning drive to watch the sunrise at the beach. he'd never seen your hair any other way, not realizing there was, in fact, another way for it to be seen, until today.

you and rafe had spent the first hour of the morning rolling around in his bed at tannyhill, working up a sweat, which then was washed off in the shower together. rafe gets out first, listening to his phone ring repeatedly in the distance. you finish up, washing your hair and turning the water to the hottest setting now that rafe wasn't there to complain.

when you walk back to rafe's room, he's on the bed, still on the phone. you try to dry yourself off and get dressed without giving him too much of a show, settling for one of rafe's old frat shirts and using another shirt of his to start drying your hair. he looks at confused, but you don't say anything, knowing he's still on the phone. you need at least a minute to explain cotton t-shirts and scrunching to him.

rafe finally hangs up the call with barry while you rummage through your overnight bag, realizing your flat iron and blow dryer were left behind on your bathroom counter, a result of finishing up your hair for your date yesterday.

"is sarah home?" you ask, looking up at rafe.

"don't think so. and didn't i give you a towel? why's my shirt on your head right now?"

"i forgot my hair stuff at home."

"oh," he says, walking back to his dresser and returning with something in his hand. "here." he hands you a hairbrush.

"what am i supposed to do with this?"

"you said you needed hair stuff. uh, you're welcome."

"i have a brush, rafe. i meant my dryer and my iron. do you think sarah would be mad if i used hers? is that weird, though?"

he didn't think it was that serious, but you look more upset by the second.

"what'd you need that shit for? we're not going anywhere until lunch. it'll dry by then." you stand up, taking the hair out of his shirt and trying to salvage whatever waves remained.

"i wanted to wear it straight for the club, though. my outfit, it looks better with straight hair-"

"huh?"

"and i didn't even detangle or use that conditioner, it's all at home. ugh." you keep scrunching, going to the mirror and taking a look. rafe follows behind you, eyebrows knitted in confusion while he takes a piece of curly hair between his fingers. it's pretty, the way it falls around your face and certain pieces are curlier than others. you look pretty like this, though he's sure you look pretty any which way.

"how come i didn't know your hair's like this?"

"um, i like it flat. do i have to go to the club like this?"

"i like it. s'pretty. c'mon, leave it."

you turn to face your boyfriend. like everyone else, he's just saying it to be nice.

"will you take me home to grab my stuff? please?"

"if you really want it, kid, but i think you should leave it," rafe says, bringing his hand up to your hair, stroking the pieces by your face, twirling a wave around his finger. "c'mon, for me?"

you hesitate, looking up at your boyfriend.

"but i wanna look nice for the club."

"the fuck are you talkin' about? you always look nice."

"but it's not as nice. it's messy. i like it-" rafe interrupts you, bringing his hand to your jaw the way he always does, squeezing tight but not too tight.

"stop. it looks nice. stop overthinkin' it. got it?" you nod. "s'nice. you should wear it like this more often."

"sure. whatever you say."

"that's right."

#btw is this the same anon who sent another ask in the pink font? my pink anon? #also im so sorry if this wasnt what you wanted its just what came to mind ! #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #shy reader

[prettyboypistol]

Stardew Valley Bachelors x Male Reader Relationship Headcanons

Harvey

Super Shy Gay(TM)

I dont CARE if you're married he ASKS TO HOLD YOUR HAND

Kiss him. Kiss him in public. Do it.

If you call him gay he'll get flustered

Can't cook for shit but tries his best. yes, the smoke alarms are going off because he tried to cook bacon.

Harvey is one of those anxious boyfriends that asks you to text him that you made it to a place safe.

"Drive safe, I love you"/"Dear it's been 10 minutes since the ETA are you alright?" hella ass

probably forgets your anniversary ONCE, but then never again when you tell him you were upset.

Elliot

you know the men that forget your anniversary? NOT ANYMORE

you randomly come home to roses all the time.

"Oh hello my love i am writing a book about homosexual pirates wear this to immerse me please"

probably hides gifts around the house with little notes

bad at confrontation but will eventually talk to you about things that bother him like a week of letting it fester.

"BABY CAN WE PLEASE GO TO THE RENAISSANCE FAIR"

Dramatic ass bitch on GOD

probably likes to be choked

Shane

Calls you gay slurs affectionately and expects the same energy back at him.

He can cook like, 2 meal.

Remembers every little anniversary but is embarrassed about it. He remembers the first time you kissed, the first time you said i love you, etc.

Biggest cuddlebug known to man

Feels bad that you're the main breadwinner so he begs to take care of the chickens on your farm.

You WILL find Shane asleep with a baby chick in his arms sometimes i'm sorry homie

Confrontational af, if something happens that he isn't okay with he'll bring it up as soon as situationally possible in a kind way.

Sam

writes you love songs

he's a bit of a messy partner, but if you mention the mess it'll be spotless for like, 3 weeks.

if you get in a fight he'll brood outside with his guitar for a little, but will always get into bed with you at the end of the day happily.

loves surprises and surprising

he's all great when it's casual flirting, but as soon as you two start seriously flirting he gets all flustered.

bi-curious, you're probably the first man he's dated but not the first man he's kissed.

loves to binge TV shows with you

Sebastian

pan ICON

he thinks you're too cool for him, but he is grateful that you enthusiastically love him

calls you a hillbilly if you call him emo

if you ask about a project he's working on he WILL talk for hours

Falls asleep at his desk a lot, but appreciates when you carry him to bed

he loves when you talk to him "while he's sleeping"

Lets you ride with him to TechCons or Comicons, loves going as couple characters

you get invited to the Dungeons and Dragons campaign

likes calling you his boyfriend

Alex

picks you up and does reps with you to flirt

he loves touching your body after a long day of farming, the tan fascinates him.

a surprisingly great cook, always knows what you wanna eat without asking.

has never even looked at a man before you came along, so he's kinda awkward about serious romantic things

bad at confrontation, but great at supporting you

he calls you very masculine things like "superman" or "my man" a lot

Defends Dusty when he steals your spot on the bed, but offers his chest as a substitute.

#stardew valley #stardew alex #stardew harvey #harvey stardew #shane #stardew valley x reader #harvey x reader #shane x reader #elliot x reader #sebastian #sdv sebastian #sdv #sdv farmer #sdv sam #sdv elliot #concerned ape #haunted chocolatier

[spiderfunkz]

✦ I LOVE THE SMITHS, AND YOU!

summary : you love the smiths, peter loves you.

word count : 0,8k

warnings : fluff, reader is oblivious & peter is just peter, not proofread btw.

a/n : based on this request!! my requests for peter are like always open so feel free to send in your thoughts <33 also this is inspired by that one scene in 500 days of summer but on a budget.

peter parker was in love.

sorry, correction, is in love.

he didn't know when this little crush started.

maybe it was in the 5th grade, when he was paired with you to do a project together, that's when he first met you. he remembered how he'd admire you as you glued those stupid looking dinosaurs on the cardboard.

he remembered how your overgrown bangs were almost covering your eyes. he remembered how he'd ask why you didn't cut it, and how you replied with — "i dunno, i don't want to cut it yet. my mumma told me hair holds memories. and i don't want to forget those memories."

he remembered how that reply made him smile. how he'd knew you two would get along somehow. and also, since then he became really picky when it comes to haircuts.

or maybe it was in the 9th grade. when you were one of the few people that wished him a happy birthday. he remembered that you gave him a really big smile, and he always noted how it was the prettiest smile he has ever seen, well, other than aunt may's of course.

or maybe it was last week. when you sat next to him in french class.

maybe it's because he noticed how your bangs were now blended with the rest of your hair, how he'd realized you never cut it since 5th grade. he wondered how many memories you have kept because of it. he wonders if he's in any of those.

he also wonders if you ever noticed that he liked you. how he'd always steal a glance when you're not looking, how he had your birthday marked on every calendar he has owned, or how he'd save up to buy you the things you looked at for too long.

maybe you did. and maybe you didn't know what to think of it.

to be completely honest, you were never much of a romantic.

never really. in your entire life you only liked two and a half things. the pasta your mom cooked, your hair, and sometimes, peter parker.

well, most of the time, peter parker. i mean he's your friend of course you like him! he's funny, he has nice soft hair that you just want to run your fingers through, he's smart and witty but he never brags about it, he cares for you, and his hand intertwines with yours perfectly.

okay, maybe you like him more than a friend. but that's another story you don't want to get too deep into.

"how about this?" you ask, holding peter's 'the smiths ; the queen is dead' cd in your hand.

you were supposed to do your english essay with peter today in his room, but like every other work you do with peter in his room, you both end up getting distracted.

"i forgot i had that, i loved it." he smiles, "put it on." he says, gesturing to the cd player.

"i love love this album! i can't believe you forgot you had this." you turn the player on as the song starts to play.

"you can keep it if you want, since you like it so much." peter says. "really?" — "of course." peter nods.

"thanks, peter. you're the best." you sat next to him.

peter hands you the paper you were supposed to do your essay on. "i wrote half of it with a pencil, you can just trace it with a pen." he smiles. "oh my god, peter. you know i could've done it myself." — "yeah but then it'll take you 5 hours and no sleep. besides, i'm almost done with mine too, so."

"aw, thanks." you lean your head on his shoulder as you read what he wrote on the paper. you focus on the paper, not noticing that peter's face is turning bright red.

a few minutes pass by and peter's calming down, he leans his head on yours. but when he does your head immediately jerk up. "oh i love this part!" you turn the volume up. "don't you?" you turn to peter, he nods.

"to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die!" you sang. "ugh, i love the smiths." you lean forward to grab a pen so you could finish the essay.

peter looks at you as you hum to the song. he notices your cherry tinted lips, and how your hair is clipped to the side with a clip that peter bought you years ago. he looks at you with such care and love. though unfortunately, you don't notice that.

you look to peter, "what do i have something on my face?". peter looks away, "oh uh no, sorry."

you furrow your brows. "you sure?" peter nods. "okay..." you laugh.

you continue to nod to the song, the pen in your hand overwriting peter's messy handwriting. "i loveee the smiths." you repeated.

"i loveee you." peter blurts out. he hopes it wasn't too loud, but you seem to be focused on the song and your paper.

"huh?" you turn to peter. "what? huh." peter awkwardly looks away, again. you look at him for a bit before smiling, "did you say you loveee the smiths too? i thought you weren't that big of a fan anymore." you clearly misheard him.

peter was dumbfounded, sure he didn't want you to hear that. but at the same time he did want you to hear that. "no i uh- i said, i love you."

"you love, me?" you ask.

"yeah, l-o-v-e."

"love love?"

"yeah. love love."

#tasm #tasm peter #tasm fanfiction #tasm peter parker #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter x you #tasm fluff #tasm x you #tasm x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker imagines #peter parker imagine #tasm imagines #tasm imagine #tasm!peter parker x you #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter #tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter imagine #tasm!peter fluff #spiderman #the amazing spider man #the amazing spiderman #the amazing spiderman fluff #andrew garfield!peter parker #tasm spiderman #spider man

[desire-mona]

abed headcanons because im autistic and bitches be projecting

big fan of deep pressure, has a weighted blanket but ideally someones putting all their body weight on top of him

can drive but hates it because its FUCKING BORIIIIINNNGGG

doesn't have a very expansive music taste, when he likes a song he listens to it on loop for weeks

has received the same novelty popcorn bucket as a gift 10+ times bc his relatives have no idea what to give him and just google "gifts for movie lovers"

britta offered him an edible one (1) total time and he got so overstimulated he passed out and slept for 15 hours

has ARFID and there's a list of his safe foods on the fridge in the trobedison apartment

has very sweaty hands. like if you high five him it'll splash. troy is used to it (cuz they hold hands) but if anyone else finds out theyre like AH OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU DAMP

either loves or hates scott pilgrim vs. the world. i cant decide so neither can he.

reads the books that have movie adaptations bc dedication but doesn't have a great time

has a head jerk tic when he's cold (i have this too its very annoying)

"troy and abed in the mooooornin" vocal stim at random times

FFFFFUCKING LOVED trick or treating as a kid cuz the interactions were so cut and dry. "trick or treat" and "thank you". Perfect.

nobody is ever allowed to touch his feet. ever. under any circumstances.

lucid dreams basically every night but thinks thats just what Normal Dreaming is

got along very well with his teachers. "delight to have in class" energy

#1 sherpa hater, the most evil texture

always bites his nails bc the thought of long nails makes him wanna throw up

hate hate hates the smell of drool or saliva in general

compulsive hand washer, especially after touching a bad texture

has glasses but doesn't wear them. the feeling of anything on his face is Not Good

in the same vein, has a love hate relationship with headphones cuz they hurt his ears after a while

gets viscerally angry when someone says male gaze/ female gaze in reference to a real person. its a film term!!

has been told on many occasions that he has a "nice podcasting voice"

often pirates new movies because movie theatres are a nightmare but he will Pass Away if he hears spoilers

hhhhhhHHHHHAAAAAAATES opening gifts at parties cuz he has no idea how to react

shaves his legs bc if he feels hair against his pants he Will have a breakdown

wore the same pyjamas Every Single Night for a year as a kid

was a shorts year round kid in middle school

probably nonbinary but thats neither here nor there

#abed nadir #danny pudi #community #trobed #troy and abed #autism #he is so dear to me i need to eat him #if i cant be exactly like him i will make him exactly like me (in my mind)

[david-talks-sw]

I got a good feeling about "The Acolyte"

Not even kidding. Like, I've spoken before about why I'm wary of it.

George Lucas' Star Wars is something that intentionally has black and white morality, rather than shades of gray. Those movies are meant for kids and projecting a "gray" morality onto them then proclaiming it was George's vision all along is doing so in bad faith.

The narrative of the Prequels doesn't frame the Prequel Jedi in as negative a light as Leslye Headland, Dave Filoni, etc etc do.

See here for more details, but bottom line: yeah, a show that has a darksider as the underdog is bound to demonize the Jedi (who are the actual underdogs in the Prequels), and obviously that rubs me the wrong way.

BUT.

The trailer looks fucking cool. It really really does.

And more importantly? I've done some research... and Leslye Headland is ticking a lot of good boxes, in my book.

1. The Acolyte won't be a 10-hour movie.

I've criticized Disney Plus shows before, explaining that a big source for most of their issues is that these series are being structured as "long movies" rather than, y'know, actual shows.

But in this interview with Collider, Headland addresses that: it'll be a series. Not a long movie that you need to watch across four weeks.

Thank God. You have no idea how much that comforts me. Finally a showrunner who's, y'know, actually running a show.

And this goes hand in hand with what she told IGN, here, about how she's going about building suspense.

Yes! Exactly! That's how it's supposed to be!

Like, compare this to Baylan Skoll's storyline in Ahsoka.

In no possible way was that emotionally-fulfilling. For 8 episodes we had no idea what he was after, and the season ended where we still don't know. What does he want? What is he after? Your guess is as good as mine, it's something Mortis-related.

So yeah. Maybe getting the Emmy-nominated trained screenwriter on board to run this was a good idea.

2. Maybe the Jedi will not be as demonized as I originally thought.

Don't get me wrong. 80% of what she says about the Jedi makes me cringe. It's the typical fan's interpretation and y'all know I disagree with that interpretation.

It's painful to see her refer to the Jedi as an institution (not how the Prequels' narrative frames them) and to see her frame "Balance" in the "oh there's so many of them and just two Sith, that means the Force is out of balance" meaning... but at least she acknowledges the Jedi are a benevolent institution.

They're not an "elitist force hiding in their ivory tower" as others have described the Jedi.

Moreover, there'll be a variety of Jedi POVs, many personalities.

Yord Fandar, is described as a strictly by-the-book Jedi Knight and guardian from the Jedi Temple, is an overachiever and a rule follower.

The question now becomes: will the narrative frame him as "your typical Jedi" or is it just this one guy? I'm hoping it's the latter.

I also like how her reasoning goes re: Jedi drawing their lightsabers.

Which explains the hand-to-hand combat seen in the trailer.

This teenager is coming at Carrie-Ann Moss with a dagger, of course the Jedi won't draw her saber.

3. She's a fan of Star Wars... but a screenwriter first.

You can tell in the interviews she's a fan. She's using words like "BBY" and "EU" casually. In the above-linked interviews she's bringing up the Nightsisters, Timothy Zahn, The Clone Wars, she mentions she has a tattoo of Ralph McQuarrie's concept art of Leia, the High Republic books, etc.

She's done her homework. She's a fan.

But the vibe I'm getting from these interviews is that she's weaving in these various lore-elements in a more organic way, rather than in the "fan-servicey" way Dave Filoni has been doing in his shows.

The references and Easter Eggs will be there, but the narrative won't bend over itself just so you can get it. Crafting a good story comes first, and Andor is a beautiful illustration of why this is true.

Which is why I was never bothered about one of the writers never having watched Star Wars before getting the job. You need those fresh eyes when you're tackling something of this scale.

That makes sense to me. Maybe it's because of my own screenwriting experience, but yeah. That out-of-the box perspective is precious.

And like, obviously, that writer watched the films eventually, but for some reason everyone who bitched about Headland omitted that detail and opted for a more bad faith interpretation.

Hm. Wonder why.

Maybe it's the same reason that months ago this clipped audio circulated socials without context, in which she debates whether Star Wars only came from George Lucas and only Lucas is the key.

The FULL context of that interview reveals that she's actually:

debating the "autheur director" myth and positing that it was achieved by a collective of excellent filmmakers and craftspeople that George was skilled and smart enough to recruit...

the studios now think it's a simple as hiring one guy and throwing money at him, because they have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. See Napoleon (2023) for example.

Yes, she also does a jab to the Prequels, which speaks to the generation of fans she's a part of... but overall she's giving Lucas props whilst also stating an ideological difference, that's it!

George is a proponent of the "autheur" theory, Leslye isn't.

However, guess what, in like half the talks George gave post-selling Star Wars? He's giving shoutouts to everyone who helped make the first film, even remembering their names.

So I'm not even sure he'd vehemently disagree with Leslye, in fact they'd prolly have a conversation about it and immediately bitch about how stupid studio executives are :D

But that's not as incendiary, is it? Again, the more I do the research, the more it feels like the reason most of these influencers are hating on her is purely sexist.

I mean, on IGN she's even acknowledging that she does plan on taking stock of fan reactions for Season 2.

It's not a guarantee that she'll incorporate the feedback, but at least that's more consideration than, say, JJ Abrams or Rian Johnson gave the fandom.

She's even bringing the moral ambiguity that the Gray Jedi-loving edge-lords love so much.

"No, she's a woke feminist! Anything she does is evil! Eww, girls!"

🙄

Needless to say... I'm gonna give it a shot.

I think it's gonna be a good show, I think it's gonna be a solid story.

I'm crossing my fingers that they won't as biased against the Jedi as it seems they'll be. Even if they are... if it's still an enjoyable experience, I'll gloss over it.

As @gffa states in this post:

Worst case? It's not a story from George. I can dismiss it from my headcanon without a moment's hesitation :D

#the acolyte #jedi order #star wars #leslye headland #george lucas #Youtube #discussion

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

01/21/2024 Crew Recap

Well holy shit all.

We finally fucking did it! We hit 75,000 signatures! That's crazy! The next goal line is literally twice that, and I know it seems daunting but don't give up, the more we get the more we show how much people want OFMD picked back up! We don't have to make that goal to show how passionate we are, we already have!

I know it feels like we've been doing this forever (12 days can you believe it?) but the scuttlebutt around deck is that we are making waves, and it's good to keep up the engagements so studio execs can see just how much we care!

We've been kicking ass on the #AdoptOurCrew hashtag on twitter and other platforms

===Articles===

I'm starting with articles tonight because this first one is phenomenal so please read it, it's by our very own @celluloidbroomcloset who if you follow them, you know their analysis is top notch. If it doesn't give you hope I don't know what will!

Our Flag Means Death And The Fight For Queer Joy

Cancelled Max Show Fans Utilize Netflix Billboard Trend, Creator Responds to Campaign Efforts

=== CREW KUDOS ===

We've had SO MUCH to be proud of about the last almost 2 weeks (oh my god I still cant believe it's been that long). Our efforts have been coming to fruition in a thousand different ways! Here's a couple more!

=First up, is the Fandom Project!=

As always thank you to @renewasacrew and in this case @tealknives and everyone else involved in this particular project for all your hard work!

Twitter / Tumblr

CW: FLASHING LIGHTS/ COLORS

=Next up, Cool Descriptions of all of you=

Thanks to @aproperpirate on Twitter for putting this together:

Just some cool descriptions of how unhinged we've all been, and I think you should be incredibly proud!

==How To Help==

Since this section has gotten to be a bit long, I'm separating it out into a separate post -- please go here for the details of the day that will be kept updated whenever I'm awake.

Here's the HOW TO HELP SECTION please visit it!

=Cast and Crew News=

Samba had a baby!

Also, Errol Shand (Ricky) has just been promoting the crap out of SaveOFMD Stuff on his IG so I just had to shout out to him here. What a guy.

=Cross Fandom Watch Party!=

Looks like there's gonna be some cross fandom watch parties on twitter you're welcome to tune in for Jan 23-26 on twitter. They'll be watching good omens in an effort to try and get engagement up with PrimeVideo. It sounds like it'll be similar to the LubeAsACrew but with Good Omens fans! Thank you to @Dandeebakes on Twitter for getting these organised!

Hashtags to use: #PirateOmens #AdoptOurCrew #SaveOFMD, and helps to @PrimeVideo

=== Contests ===

Looks like there's a contest for 2023 Reader's Choice Performer Of the Year, and you can go vote over here:

=Other Platform Recaps!=

It's been brought to my attention there are some other recaps going on on various platforms, feel free to check them out!

Twitter: @Mytabsclosed

Website: omfd-crew.com

These lovely folks have a full week wrap up if you wanna check it out here!

---------------------------------------------------------

A wonderful note from @RedsiesWorld on Twitter, something to remember is we are in fact fighting for our crews jobs as well (not just s3) and you're kicking ass!

---------------------------------------------------------

So all in all, 12 days of Polite Menacing has been BAT SHIT INSANE and every one of you should feel super fucking proud of all the hard work. This is a break checkpoint however ---PLEASE TAKE A BREAK IF YOU NEED IT (or even if you don't think you do). It's super important you take care of yourself! No one on the crew is going to be upset or disappointed that you took a break! We all are contributing in our own ways, so no need to worry if you're not doing the same as someone else! You are doing plenty!

Remember:

Drink Plenty of Water (Hydrate!)

Eat something good for you!

Get Some Sleep!

Do something Creative that makes you happy!

Go outside for a few minutes! (weather permitting)

Shit is hard, life's a dick, but you are stronger and more capable than you can possibly imagine, and you've got 10's of thousands of people out here rooting for you. All the love folks, wherever you are, whatever you're doing. You are wonderful and you are enough <3

---------------------------------------------------------

Tonight's random Rhys picture is what I can only assume is Murray getting a leaf blower blown in his face. You're welcome.

#ofmd #our flag means death #save ofmd #renew as a crew #save our flag means death #rhys darby #renew ofmd #hoist the ads #finish our stories #adopt our crew #ofmd fandom #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps

[alllgator-blood]

MY BAD FOR LIKE SPAMMING I DIDNT CHECK YOUR BLOG IN LIKE A WEEK AND I ATE ALL OF YOUR RAMBLINGS AND ART

I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT YOU LITERALLY KILLED ME WITH THE ANGST THINGYS

FLIGHT GOT DELAYED, I HAVE CHOSEN THIS ASK TO BE THE FINAL ONE FOR NOW BEFORE I SHUT MY PC OFF. I just wanted to say there's absolutely no issue with spamming me because number go up = more dopamine so I'd be insane to complain. If anything I think it's neat when I see familiar names in my notifs/inbox, it's been forever since I've had an online presence so I love going "oh look who's online!" when I see someone liked a bunch of my posts sdfkjhsdfkjs

ABOUT THE ANGST STUFF. I AM SORRY I KILLED YOU WITH MY ANGST COMICS, BUT AM GLAD TO HEAR THEY ACTUALLY LIKE AFFECT PEOPLE?? I bum myself out when I do sad comics but in like a good way. I haven't been invested in anything in sooo long, so I like feeling every possible emotion towards this stupid game. I HAVE...MORE ANGST......SO MUCH MORE. I work on it when I'm sad about irl stuff cause being sad about fictional stuff is more fun.

I'm gonna put a sketch comic under the cut, it's the one where shamura is accidentally gaslit into having a freakout and killing one of their followers. AVERT THINE EYES IF THAT'S TOO HEAVY, THERE IS ALSO SLIGHT SKETCHY GORE WHERE I COULDN'T REALLY CROP IT OUT

I cropped out the part where they explode their follower from the inside out. I was formerly a warrior cats kid so I like drawing edgy violent shit, but I understand not everyone wants to see that SDJFHSDFKJ- it'll be in the final comic if I ever come back to this one (tagged appropriately)

I wonder if it's obvious that I'm projecting hardcore in this comic but also, I feel like if I HAVE to have the health issues I do, I might as well make lobotomy spider comics based on my personal frustration?? I have a few more like this but one of them is...idk if I'll ever post it cause it's more soul crushing the other ones I've posted.

What a way to leave my blog for the next week. ENJOY THE ANGST, SEE Y'ALL WHEN I'M BACK FROM THE BEACH B)

#cotl #angst #cult of the lamb #shamura

[jae-bummer]

It's Only Lunch

Request: I just binged through My Idol Season 1&2 within a day and I’m in love with the way you write!! Then I saw your requests are open and I was even happier, cause I’m in desperate need of some idol!DK x nonidol!reader fluff :( I don’t have anything specific in mind you can do whatever you want, it can be angsty too if you want, just please give him a happy ending. There’s just not enough DK on this app in my opinion :( I hope you’re doing good and have a great day and if you ever actually write this then tysm!! 🩷🩵

Pairing: Seventeen DK x Reader

Genre: Fluff

.

"Hey, Y/N."

Looking up from your desk and towards the door of your office, you smiled. "DK, what brings you here?"

As soon as his name left your lips, you could see a bashful expression cross his face. Glancing down to his shoes before looking back up to you, he offered a tentative smile. "I just happened to be in the building and thought maybe you'd like to grab lunch with me?"

Blinking back in surprise, you cleared your throat. Technically, you and Dokyeom were coworkers, he an idol (obviously) and you working in the lower levels of management at Hybe. You had been part of the production crew for many a Seventeen project, so you had grown familiar with the guys over the years.

DK, more often than not, was the member that seemed to naturally gravitate toward you. When ordering lunch, passing out water, or resting on a break, he seemed to subconsciously seek you out. His shyness was adorable your first few run-ins, but once you realized he may have had a crush, you were already in far too deep yourself.

"I brought my lunch today," you managed, the words tasting sour in your mouth. "I was hoping I could take it at my desk to work through some things I'm behind on."

It wasn't a lie. You did need to catch up, but you also couldn't admit that hanging out privately with DK scared the crap out of you. He was gorgeous, side-splitting levels of funny, and completely unattainable. You knew if you spent more time around him, it wouldn't be long until you caught feelings.

"Oh," he chirped, beginning to nod. "Yeah, of course, I understand."

"Maybe next time though?" you asked, desperate to see that smile light up his face again.

"Of course," he hummed, giving you what you hoped for, but not nearly as genuine. "I'll stop by again when I'm back in the building."

And that's how the new routine began. At least once a week DK would show up in your doorway and you would think of a new and creative excuse not to fall in love with him.

Nearly a month after his original visit, you were typing out a relatively important email when your favorite nuisance showed up.

"Y/N," he drawled, leaning against the door frame. "I think I know your answer, but I'm here anyway."

You smiled sheepishly, ducking your head in an attempt to cool the heat scorching across your neck. You knew he would likely catch on to your MO, but you hadn't realized how embarrassing being confronted would be. "I'm sorry, DK. Things are so busy with your upcoming promotions and-"

"Can I at least grab your lunch for you from the common area?" he asked, tilting his head. "It'll save you a few steps."

"Sure," you nodded. He was incredibly sweet, which made it suck even more. "It's in the purple bento box."

"You got it!" he smiled, giving a quick spin before launching down the hallway.

You really did need to suck it up and either tell him to quit coming by or accept his advances. Just because you were a coward didn't mean that he needed to suffer. You were better not being perceived by anyone at his level of attractiveness. It would only be a matter of time before you somehow did something mortifying and turned him off forever.

After plugging away at the email for a few more minutes, you furrowed your brow and looked toward the hall. Surely, he should have found your food.

Just as you were about to hit send and head out his way, he appeared again. Holding your bento, his face was twisted in confusion. "This is yours, right?"

"Yeah," you said slowly. "Why?"

"Well," he sighed. "I looked for it everywhere in the fridge but couldn't find it. I moved everything around and was about to give up when I noticed it out of the corner of my eye. It was sitting in the communal sink, empty."

"Empty?" you muttered, standing. Crossing the room toward him, you took the lunch box from his hands. Sure enough, there was not a trace left of the food you had packed that morning. "I bring the same box every day. Who would eat out of it?"

"Did someone new start?" he asked, tilting his head. "Someone could have done it by mistake?"

"I guess," you sighed, dropping it on your desk. "I guess I can order in..."

"Why don't you let me go grab something?" he asked. "We can eat together in your office, so you don't even have to step away."

The hopeful look in his eyes crushed what little self-preservation you had left. This option really provided no wiggle room for an excuse. "I don't want to make you go to all that trouble..."

"No trouble at all!" he smiled, already turning away from you.

"Wait," you sighed, teetering on the line that you had drawn for yourself. "Let me send this email and I'll come with you."

"You will?" he gasped, but immediately schooled his features. "I mean, sounds good."

Mentally preparing yourself to rip off the Band-Aid, you may have spent a bit longer on the email than you had intended. It was difficult to think clearly with DK wandering around your space, peering at every framed picture and book you had haphazardly stacked around.

"Ready?" you asked, after reading through what you had written for probably the thirtieth time. At this point, you would just hit send and hope for the best.

"Born ready," he smiled, his eyes disappearing into crescents. "There's this really cute noodle place right down the street. I was thinking we could go there?"

Your brain fished around in its recesses for the restaurant he was talking about. If you could recall correctly, it was a notorious spot for couples. The thought made you swallow, hard. "Sure."

"Perfect," he hummed. "Madam?"

Offering his elbow to you, you hesitated before taking it. So, this was really happening. You were going to break down and go on a not-date with Dokyeom. He had labeled it as just "grabbing lunch," but why did you feel like it was so much more?

As you would realize later, it was because if you gave an inch, Dokyeom would take a mile. It wasn't long into your walk before he started complaining about it being sweltering outside. The weather was only 24°C, so it was hardly balmy. After peeling off his jacket, he quickly switched up to holding your hand.

Glancing down in surprise to see his long fingers intertwined with yours, you looked back up to him, wide-eyed.

"Is this okay?" he asked cheerfully.

You gave a silent nod before fixing your eyes in front of you again. You were so screwed.

.

Against your better judgement, lunch with DK was a blast. Being around him was so effortless. As you talked over jajangmyeon, it was easy to open up and show sides of yourself that you only reserved for those closest to you. You didn't realize you were even doing it until after you already had, making you go into an overthinking spiral of whether or not you were sharing too much.

In the end, it didn't really matter because Dokyeom seemed to like it that way.

When he returned you to your office, he gave you a long hug before insisting on coming by again soon. After everything, you sat behind your desk, a bit numb in the aftereffects of all things DK.

He hadn't asked for your number and aside from holding your hand, he really hadn't made any advances. His body language was overwhelmingly flirty, but you weren't sure if that's just how he was naturally or not.

"Accept it for what it is," you muttered to yourself, shaking off the cobwebs in your brain. Even if things didn't cross over into "more than friends" territory like your heart was already considering, just having him as a close friend would be fulfilling enough.

No matter how many times you told yourself that DK was just displaying normal, friendly behavior, it was all thrown out of the window when he showed up again the next week.

Carrying a bouquet of what looked to be a mix of wildflowers, he strode up to your desk and sat on the edge. "Now, we've made remarkable progress last week when you had no other options but to have lunch with me. Can we defy the universe and have it happen again?"

You let out a surprised snort. "Maybe if you gave me an idea of when you were coming, I'd be more prepared to leave the office."

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked. "These are for you by the way."

"I would have been only a little heartbroken if you came into my office with flowers that were not for me," you smiled, taking them from his hands.

"So, are you setting me up for a gentle letdown?" he asked, quirking a brow. "Or are you wanting to try the new burger place a block down?"

"I really-"

"Need to finish up this project, so I'm working at my desk," he finished with a soft smile.

"But this time, I really do mean it," you laughed.

"You didn't before?!" he gasped.

Shit. You didn't want to let that little factoid slip. See, this is what happened when you let your guard down around him.

"I may or may not have been avoiding your lunch invitation for a few weeks," you winced. "But you're intimidating!"

"On what planet?!"

"Earth!" you groaned, hiding behind your fingers.

DK sighed before sliding off of your desk and facing you. "I'll forgive you if you come eat with me."

"Well, that's not fair," you pouted.

"Fine," he harrumphed. "I'll just have to take it into my own hands like last time."

"Like last time?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at him.

Covering his mouth with his hand, DK stood as still as a statue.

"You know," you grumbled, crossing your arms. "You're not going to get out of this by hoping I forget about you because you're not moving."

"It would work if you were a t-rex," he muttered, dropping his arms to rest at his side.

"Spill it, Seokmin," you sighed.

"I accidentally ate your lunch last week," he said quickly.

"I'm sorry," you laughed. "You what?"

"When I was grabbing your bento out of the fridge, I had a lightbulb moment," he whined. "I thought if you didn't have your food, you'd be forced to eat with me...so I just...inhaled it. You make excellent bibimbap by the way."

You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or smack him. "You set me up!"

"Because you were avoiding me!" he exclaimed, sending an accusatory finger your way. "You said it yourself!"

"Because you're intimidating!" you repeated.

"How?! How am I intimidating and why is this news to me?!"

"You're incredibly dreamy!" you blurted. "And I was scared that I was going to fall for you, alright?"

DK took a small step back as if you had actually chose to smack him. He kept quiet as his wide eyes blinked at you.

"Please say something," you whispered, pinching the bridge of your nose.

At a painfully slow rate, a smile spread across his lips. "You think I'm dreamy?"

Plopping into your rolling chair, you leaned against your desk, and hid in the fortress of your arms. It was not physically or mentally possible for you to be more horrified.

"Y/N!" DK cooed, immediately stepping around to where you were sitting. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, he rested his chin on your head. "That is the cutest thing I have ever heard."

"I hate it," you muttered into your sleeves.

"I don't," he chuckled. "And if you haven't figured it out by now, I think you're pretty dreamy too."

"Really?' you squeaked.

"You think I offer to buy lunch and flowers for Mingyu once a week?" he asked. Nuzzling his face into your hair, he laughed again. "I guess we were both hiding something from each other."

"I can't believe you ate twice just to get me to go out with you," you muttered, finally sitting up.

"You're worth the stomachache I had afterwards," he smiled. "I was scared that if I tried to kiss you, the nerves would make my stomach pop."

"Please tell me you didn't eat my lunch again today?" you joked. DK's lips fell into a flat line as he looked away from you. "You didn't!"

"I was prepared to do whatever I had to do!" he gasped. "Now are you coming with me to lunch or not?!"

"Yes," you laughed, shaking your head. "I absolutely will."

#lee seokmin #dokyeom #dk #seventeen #svt #seventeen seokmin #seventeen dk #svt dk #seventeen dokyeom #dk x reader #dk fluff #dk fanfic #dating dk #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfic #svt fluff #svt x reader #svt fanfic #seokmin x reader #seokmin fluff #dokyeom x reader #dokyeom fluff

[dotster001]

I just had an idea for a request! What if MC is asked to cook the meals for each dorm when there's a special occasion? And everyone believes that she can't do it but, lo and behold, she manages to cook up a whole feast. I hope this is okay!

Caterer

A/N: Fun fact, it takes me a long ass time to get to requests...so I hope you're still around anon 😅

CW:Fem! Reader

"Alright, you said you need food on Thursday for Sebek's birthday, right?"

"Yes, preferably by three."

"Okay, and you guys need food for the basketball club on Saturday?"

"Yeah. And Floyd wants to remind you he wants shrimp on the menu."

"Duly noted."

How did you get here? How did you become NRC's most popular caterer? Well…

Three months  prior

You had stopped by the Heartslaybul Dorm to visit Trey, who was still recovering from his broken leg. It appeared you had stepped into a warzone.

"Sevens! What are we supposed to do?"

Riddle was pacing back and forth, while an exhausted Trey looked on.

"We can ask Octavinelle. I'm certain Azul will have dishes worthy of an unbirthday party."

"And be indebted to Housewarden Ashengrotto for the rest of my life? Absolutely not."

"Wait, you need food for an unbirthday party?" You finally piped in, startling both the boys.

"Yes, but as you can see, Trey is still incapacitated. And the freshmen he has been trying to train are not ready to take on the project."

"I can do it," you offered.

Again, both boys just stared at you.

"You do know the unbirthday party is…tomorrow, right?" Trey asked. "It's not that I don't believe in you, it's just a lot of food to take care of at the last second."

"Well, I don't believe in you," Riddle said dryly. "There's only one person I believe can pull off something like this alone, and he's laying in that bed."

"Thank you?" Trey questioned.

"Well, just for that, I'm gonna do it! Just to prove you wrong!"

"Y/N…"

"What time do you need the food by, housewarden?"

"1:30 tomorrow. Think you can handle that? Cause if not-"

"I know, I know. It's off with my head or whatever," and then you stormed off to the kitchen.

"Please don't be too hard on her…"

"It'll be her own fault for promising the impossible. That will be all on her."

….

Ace had wandered down for a late night snack. The closer he got, the more it sounded like someone was in the kitchen. Which didn't make sense, because Trey was still injured, so who could possibly…

"Sorry, no entrance if you aren't on the list."

He looked down to see Grim standing in front of the door like a bouncer.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean, rat?"

"It means you aren't allowed entrance. Cause you aren't on the list."

Ace knelt down to Grim's level with a smug grin.

"Oh yeah? And what are ya gonna do about it?"

Then the door opened, revealing you in an apron, covered in flour.

"Grim, please remove the distraction from the premises."

"I'm on it, oh great food master. He was just leaving," Grim responded, shoving Ace for good measure.

"Hey, wait, wait, wait! Whatcha cookin, I'm hungry!" Ace began attempting to push past Grim into the kitchen.

"Back off Ace. I'm not playing this game with you tonight. This is for the unbirthday party."

"Wait what? Dude, Trey starts like a week ahead of time, isn't that tomorrow? There's no way you're gonna finish anyway, just let me have a bite!"

You glared for a moment, before looking at your kitty companion.

"Grim, remove the trash please."

"Yes, my lady," he began kicking Ace's shins as you returned to the kitchen.

….

Ace returned the next morning, with an entourage of Jack, Epel, Sebek, Deuce, and, of all people, Jamil.

Before Ace could say something snide to you or your kitty bouncer, Jamil called into the kitchen,

"Hey, it's Jamil. I was wondering how things are going, or if you need any help?" 

"Nah I'm good, but thanks for the offer," came your reply through the kitchen door.

"Ace and Sebek have 30 madol on you not finishing in time," Epel said with a snicker.

"Grim, tell Ace to fuck off."

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Grim said, kicking Ace's shins again.

Jack took the opportunity to speak to the door, "Y/N there's no shame in asking for help, it's a lot of food…"

"And Heartslaybul has the highest retention rate of all the dorms, so it's more food than any other dorm," Deuce added.

"It just can't be done, human! Allow the canine one to help you!" Sebek called.

"Look, Mr Doubter, I'm almost done. In fact, you be here at 1:30 to join the unbirthday party, so you can eat my food, and your words!"

There was a crashing sound from within, and all the boys almost burst through the door, if not for you peeking out from it yourself.

"Not to worry, I just hit an empty tray with my elbow, everything is okay. Now go away!"

The six boys, confused and concerned as ever, made their departure.

…. 

As the clock struck one, a crowd had set up outside the kitchen door. Students from nearly every dorm had huddled outside to see what the end result would be.

Then they heard a shout.

"Finito!"

And Grim hushed the crowd.

You emerged dramatically from the kitchen, and looked around at your audience, calm and collected as ever. 

"I need some volunteers to set the table."

Immediately, some students joined you in the kitchen, and then they were parading out tray after tray, stacked high with shimmering desserts of all kinds; tarts, cookies, macarons, and a three tiered cake, decorated in red and white hearts. Then came the teas. It appeared you had brewed at least five varieties of teas. 

The crowd outside stared in wonder. Silent murmurs of awe passed through the crowd, before Rook Hunt pushed his way to your side, kneeling at your feet.

"My Lady, Pomefiore would like to request your skills for a ball next weekend."

Before you could respond, Azul had elbowed his way forward, and placed an arm around your shoulders.

"Prefect, have you ever considered working for the Mostro Lounge?"

Leona somehow made his way over.

"Shove off, tako, the herbivore is going to be cooking for us!"

And thus, the Ramshackle Prefect became NRC's caterer. And no, you obviously are not getting paid for it. Who the fuck are you kidding?

....

Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @leonia0 @eccedentesiast-sapphic

#twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #ace trappola #deuce spade #jack howl #jamil viper #epel felmier #sebek zigvolt #rook hunt #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto

[ilys00ga]

Exes to lovers hurt/comfort with Yoongi? Oc is going through a really hard time and one minor inconvenience sets her up to break down and yoongi finds her and they seek solace to each other because no one listens like Yoongi does. Just a moment of oc burrowing her head on his shoulder in silence and boom. Happy ending.

I GO BACK TO YOU, EVERYTIME !

pairing: yoongi x female reader.

genre: hurt/comfort, exes to lovers, post breakup, some bitter sweetness and fluff as well, yoongi is very sweet, they still love each other hahaha.

warnings: none, I think. oh some mentions of cheating. lots of crying lolol.

A/N: hello, I am SORRY for the late upload of this. I keep losing track of writing and posting 😫 but thank u sm for this <3 I hope you like it, I wasn't sure how and what to write tbh but that's what I could come up with...

I tried using "she/her" pronouns instead of "you" for some change, I hope that's fine with u!

I have one more request to make, and it'll probably be posted after a week or something:') but yeah, thanks to everyone who sent me reqs. this was so fun. remember, u can send more they are currently open! (my exams are in like one week or so lmfao)

PS. English is not my first language, so u know the drill.

the tip of yoongi's ears began to ache, and his eyes felt so heavy after several hours of sitting in front of his computer screen, wearing the same set of headphones on his head.

he rubbed his tired face with his palms and threw his head back with a loud groan. he was exhausted. this specific project he was working on consumed him the most this month.

just as he was about to resume his work, the door to his studio rang, and he huffed. the grumpy man up with slumped shoulders and a scowl ready to stare daggers at whoever decided it was just the perfect timing to interrupt his misery.

"....yoongi..." a whimper of his name made his head snap up and face the woman standing right in front of him. his eyes widened as he saw her flushed face twisted with tears running down her cheeks. visibly fresh stains of coffee covered her attire, and her hands were shaking.

swallowing, he didn't utter a word, standing there as he felt his heart pumping cold blood through his wide chest and into his entire body. it's been nearly two years since he'd last spoken to her after the messed up break-up they had.

"yoongi.." a sob shook the woman's shoulders this time as she crouched down, crying and shrinking into her own self right in front of him.

if you'd travel back two years and more ago in time, you'd see yoongi wasting no time in wrapping his arms around her body, but that sweet privilege he once had is long since gone. the she and he that once made this very beautiful thing is long since gone. she were no longer "her" and he was no longer "him". it was hard to decide whether to say "thankfully" or "unfortunately" each time yoongi recalled that gut-wrenching fact.

instead, he quickly kneeled in front of her, hesitating and contemplating before finally settling on just gently putting one of his trembling hands on her shoulder as he wasted no time in asking: "___ what's wrong? are you hurt?"

as if it was embarrassed of her commitment to silence, her head moved on its own will in a light shake of "no."

"what happened?" he repeated in a much calmer voice.

"he- he ch-cheated on m-... again- he-" her body rocked, dancing along with each sob as she struggled to speak. and when he realised that he won'tve getting a proper answer, yoongi silently–and very delicately, as though she would break if he tugged any harder on her skin–grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the studio.

after closing the door and making her sit on the couch, he asked one more time, "what happened?"

his voice never lost that soft tone, she noted, and gulped down the lump that was stuck in her throat, and after some time stuttered with a shaky voice, "I'm so sorry to bother you. i just had such a bad day, and I kind of panicked so hard and ran up here."

"what about this," he pointed at her stained clothes and frowned, "and what did you say about cheating again?"

sniffling, she sighed and rested her hair against the back of the sofa, "found out that Jaehun cheated on me multiple times, and I had a coffee accident. I didn't know where to go, so..."

yoongi stared at her silently, part of him was relieved nothing that bad had occurred to her, the other, the slightly selfish one, had the corners of its lips twitching upwards when he heard that the man he's been dreading for the past few months turned put to be a complete asshole. it was embarrassing, yes, that's why he can never admit that he's still stuck on her, that he felt as though he'd lost a chunk of himself when he knew that she was with somebody new. but he also can't complain, not after everything that happened, not after breaking it apart.

"I'm sorry you always end up with assholes." was all he said.

and a simple "by the way, it's fine, you've always been welcome here" from him was all it took to break her shell. all the self restraint she'd been pulling, all the walls she'd been shielding herself with, it all went flat to the ground, and this time her vision blurred up with hot tears, easily spilling and racing down her cheeks in a matter of seconds. finally giving up the strings she'd been clutching on for dear life.

yoongi was caught off guard, but not surprised. he pursed his lips as he extended his arm to wrap it around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him and burying her face right where it belongs, his neck.

that terribly reminded him of all the sleepless nights after heavy, long days at work they spent cuddled up so close to each other. her crying as she spilled her heart's content to him, and him listening as he rubbed on her back and kissed her head.

seeing her again, one hair away from him after long months of distance and silent, guilty glances whenever they ran into each other in the building they both worked at, was the cherry on top that poisoned cake.

he tightly hugged her, whispering sweet nothings into her hair as he buried his nose into it. he used to like doing that, feeling the tickling of her strands on his nose and the scent he sipped on like a mad man.

after a long moment, her sobs thinned into hiccups, then soft sniffles, and she dried her face up with the long sleeves of her cardigan.

"feeling better?" why is his voice always so damn soft?

she nodded with a tiny hum, slowly raising her body to pull out of the hug.

when she glanced at him, oh boy, when she did glance at him, she was met with those pair of cat eyes, all wide with pure concern. so intense that she quickly averted hers as heat spread through her face and neck.

"I'm fine.." she whispered with a voice hoarse from all the crying.

"you reek of coffee." yoongi joked in an attempt to brighten the mood, smiling as he offered her a package of wet wipes.

"thanks." the woman's lips slowly pushed into a small pout, and she muttered, "I'm sorry for bothering you with my crying."

"don't worry about that, i kind of missed this anyway."

"you miss seeing me cry?" she mused.

"no, I just... it's been so long..."

neither of them said anything for a while, falling into some kind of silence. strangely, there was no awkwardness in it, just hundreds of heavily unspoken confessions and things hanging in the air, all mixed with burning yearning for one another.

"I missed you.." she whispered in a hushed tone, "I thought I would never get to talk to you again."

"i hope you're joking." he replied, "because I don't think you being serious would make it hurt any less."

"I'm sorry that we fought." she apologized.

"I'm sorry, I was an asshole too." yoongi licked his lips, a pinch of fear ached his heart all of a sudden, but he added anyway with a small voice, "do you... do you wanna meet up tomorrow? we could grab some dinner and just... talk."

"alright" she smiled.

"good. I'll call you in the morning, then. good?" yoongi felt as though his heart would jump out of his rib cage and run out of the studio from how overwhelming the whole situation was, if it weren't for her reassuring smile that made it all so much easier to handle.

"good." she replied.

"that was so easy...why didn't we do this earlier?" he covered his burning face with his hands and chuckled.

"we were just too dumb to think back then."

"yeah, we were." he nodded.

and for the first time ever since the pair cut all sorts of communication between each other, yoongi looked directly into her eyes with pure gratitude and smiled.

they ended up meeting up more often than they intended to, slowly patching up the abandoned wounds they once scarred into the body of their broken relationship.

one dinner birthed two and three more, surface-level chitchat of updates about each other's lives turned into deeper dives into the ups and downs, the wrongs and rights of everything they have shared between each other before. where everything shattered into pieces before their own eyes.

it all went slow and steady, like the first time they met a few years ago, like the very beginning of what they once had. it was scary, uncertain, and a sensitive area overall for the two, yet they were still willing to take that road again.

like a wicked witch, miscommunication casted a spell of pain, sourness, and yearning on the pair.

and now that their priorities have changed, maybe there's still a chance for them to break that spell and work it out again.

- fin..

#yoongi #bts #yoongi scenarios #yoongi drabble #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #bts scenarios #agustd #yoongi angst #hurt/comfort #bts imagines #bts fic #bts army #bts yoongi #yoongi imagine #suga fluff #suga angst #bts x reader

[feverdreamjohnny]

Orbo's Odyssey - Post Mortem

My Feelings About The Game

It's an odd thing to try and pull together your thoughts about something so chaotic.

I guess it'd be easier to just catalogue how my emotions evolved as the project went on, and then wrap it up by trying to pull apart how I feel now, as arcane as that is.

I've been a part of a private developer community for a bit now, and during a majority of my time there I felt sort of like a fish out of water. I guess it was just weird seeing people at the top of their craft while my work sort of paled in comparison. A majority of them had a background in developing character action games or platformers with intricate movement systems, and that was absolutely outside the range of what I understood.

Late 2022 I decided to try and make a movement system with a really strong focus on momentum so I could feel "at home" with the other devs. So I made a small tech demo where most of Orbo's moveset was formed.

In the end it didn't really make me feel more confident in my work, but at least I proved to myself that I could tackle unfamiliar waters and make headway. Regardless, I left the tech demo where it was and continued to work on Nowhere, MI for the next few months.

I made a lot of progress on Nowhere, and around late November a publisher reached out to me to offer help. I was desperate, after all. I didn't have a lot of money to my name and this was the kind of lifeline I needed to secure so I could finish the game.

To cut a long story short, they kept delaying talks about the game over and over and it became increasingly clear to me that my dream of being funded wasn't going to happen.

I was sort of in a bad spot now. It was early 2023 at this point, and I was going to have to make a tough decision: delay Nowhere and get a retail job to make money (potentially losing sight of the project in the process), or find some other solution to secure funding. No other publishers were going to pick me up (and I really didn't trust a majority of them so I only had my sights set on a handful I felt I could trust), so I came to a new conclusion:

What if I just made something short, say in the span of a month or two, and sell it? Surely that would be easy.

Surely.

The Game

In March of 2023, I began working on the game. I wasn't sure what sort of format I wanted for the game at first, and I had initially considered a rogue-like arena combat game where you'd use the game's momentum mechanics to fight enemies, collect upgrades to improve your abilities, rinse and repeat.

The idea ended up feeling sort of strange when I began pre-production, so I ended up scrapping it.

I thought about the movement system some more and realized that it had a strange kinship to a game I had played just a month earlier: Super Kiwi 64.

Then I thought about Siactro's other games, how they were similarly small-scope platformers that seemed to perform well on Steam and Switch, and I realized that if there was something that would suit my own development style (focused around exploration and secrets), it was a 3D platformer.

The first month was fairly strong. I moved at lightning-speed, hammering systems into the game piece by piece. Collectables were done. Time trials (and their records) were done. Movement had been refined further and felt better than in the initial tech demo. There was also a lot of underlying structuring that I won't get into because it's boring (but important).

About a week in I even started working with my friend Tim (who's a professional environment artist), and we began working together on the hub environment (we brainstormed the layout, I designed the greybox, and he wrapped it up with the environment art).

It was going great, but as March was nearing its end I began to realize what I was dealing with.

"Oh, well yeah I mean I knew it wasn't going to be possible in a month! I'm sure if I grit my teeth it'll be done by the end of April!"

So April came along. Tim and I finished the hub area, I got the world portals set up, and eventually we moved to the first level of the game, Shlarp City.

Tim managed to get a decent chunk of the decorative props done, but circumstances were changing and he had a fulltime job in the industry to attend to, so he had to leave the project.

I reasoned "well, I sort of know how to do environment art and I guess I can just go on without help."

Shlarp's greybox was done, and I was sort of happy about the layout. Some friends playtested the game and liked the movement, so I felt a bit more optimistic about the project.

Despite the boost in optimism, I was starting to feel some kind of dread leaking in. My nights were becoming more frantic and troubled, more than they already had been.

I moved onto the next level, reasoning that it'd be best to get the greyboxes for all of the levels finished first, then return for an art pass afterwards. It was the sensible thing to do, after all.

So I began work on Dunbarrow Mines, and this time I was alone. I finished the greybox, and while I wasn't a huge fan of the level, at least it was done. I moved onto Sleepytime Manor and similarly got the greybox finished. Even since the beginning of the month, something was starting to grow inside of me. April was coming to a close, and I still had another level to greybox, a boss fight, secret areas to add, and an art pass on the entire thing. I hadn't really developed much of a game at that point, just 3 barren levels.

And so May came along.

And this was where it all went to hell.

I had been suffering from a lot of issues in my personal life for a while. The year prior had been particularly traumatic and the waves coming from it weren't done passing over yet. If anything the terror was that the major event from the last year hadn't even finished coming to fruition. The stress from everything had caused me to develop a disorder that made my blood acidic, melting away at my nerves. I fought hard and managed to improve my health, but the damage was done and the occasional return of the neuropathy was just a reminder that my life was spiraling downward.

I entered a period of intense stress and depression as waves of terrible memories came over me. I became neurotic. Started having trouble designing levels. It was already an issue for me, but as my mental state deteriorated I was hitting brick walls over and over.

I had my back against the wall. Game development was my only purpose in life, after all. I had been built for it, sacrificed so many hours to it, put everything else aside for it. The only thought going through my head was that I was dying, and that this stupid game was going to be my graveyard.

So roughly two months came by, with sparing work on the game. I finished Monolith station, but it had to be redesigned 3 times to reach the version you currently see in the game today.

The neurosis made me insane. Constantly seeing my peers succeeding while I flailed desperately in a pit was definitely not helping matters.

But something changed in June.

The Garden

I always had an on-and-off again relationship with plants. I had a sort of preternatural skill with growing things, but my interest waxed and waned a lot. The main thing that stuck through this on-and-off relationship were herbs, since they were easy to cultivate and they needed very little maintenance during the periods where I was losing interest.

As I began to take game development more seriously around halfway into 2021, I stopped gardening entirely.

But something very strange happened in the June of 2023. I was frantically compelled to return to it. I raked, toiled and weeded until I had a plot. Then I started buying seeds and began cultivating vegetables again for the first time in 2 years.

And for the first time in this nightmare I was finally happy about something. I don't know what compelled me to start cultivating plants again, but whatever it was, it rescued me from a very long, dark road.

After 2 weeks, I finally finished the final boss of Orbo's Odyssey.

The game needed a lot more work, but I was finally getting a foothold after months of misery.

Eventually my friend Ben was able to help me with the project, and we made a lot of headway. We brainstormed new ideas for how the player could get gear parts. He modeled a load of props. I scripted a load of systems. Finally, the game actually began to look like a game.

Ben was really important. He was optimistic about the project and wasn't suffering from burnout the way I did, and he helped me get out of my fugue. I can't thank him enough for his help.

After around half a year of hammering, we finished the game.

3 weeks after that, we released it to steam.

And about 2 weeks after the release, we're here now.

The Takeaway

Typically in post-mortems you talk about what you would've done differently, but I think this ending might be a bit different.

I'm not really proud of the level design. I think I also could've done better with my share of the environment art in some levels. I think there could've been more details. I think there could've been more content.

But there's no use kicking myself for what could've been. Of course the next game will be better. The mental state I was in during the development of this game was dire and it had a major impact on the quality of my work. I had to break out of a really bad mindset and try to find a better way of engaging with my life. That wasn't easy.

I think some gamers like to imagine that something that's fun to play was fun to make. It's true that sometimes there are moments where you get excited during game development, but at the end of the day the majority of it is just pure work and toil.

In the end, the reviews on Orbo were very kind. Even the negative reviews were at bare minimum sorta funny.

Hilariously the reviews that bothered me the most were actually positive. The perspective of these reviews was that the game was really the story of some little kid taking his thumb out of his mouth and naively making something he thought was fun. It mainly felt like a way for the reviewers to excuse the weaker elements of the game.

These are the reviews I hate the most. I don't care that they were positive. They're infantilizing. It makes it come across as though the shoddier elements of the game weren't a product of a person having a mental breakdown, but of a child smacking blocks together and making mistakes because he didn't know better.

If you really view art like that, I want you to lean in very closely and listen: Most of the time, people suffered to make something you could enjoy. You're welcome to praise or shun the art by itself, but don't patronize the creator for their effort. I didn't have fun making Orbo. I hated it. And even though I hated it I still tried to put passion into it, because I care about my work.

Anyway I'm glad it's over with. If I attempted to develop the game now it would probably be significantly better, but that's mostly because I've found better methods of managing my mental health.

I have to get back to work on Nowhere, and eventually I have to work on Peeb Adventures. For now, though, I'm taking a break. I'm tired.

Before I go I just want to thank some people.

Thank you Ben for being supportive and helping me make this game happen. I couldn't have done it without you, and I mean it.

Thank you Socpens and Grayfruit for streaming the game and for your kind words. It really means a lot to me, and it gave me a lot more confidence about Orbo's Odyssey post-release.

Thank you Tim for helping early on. I know it was a brief period between us, but I do appreciate the work you did.

Thank you (in no particular order) Bryce, Simone, Jett, Aaron, Quinn, Drew, Ian, and Cosme for being supportive of my work.

Thank you for the folks in the private dev server who were particularly supportive as well.

Thanks for reading.

#orbosodyssey

[thlayli-ra]

WIP Timeline

I enjoy writing a list. So that I can eventually tick things off that list. Which is why I wrote this list to map out what I'm writing/drawing in the next wee while and cross them off as I go. Maybe some of you out there might be interested too.

- The Moon Rises Red Tonight - final chapter is about 90% complete and I'm aiming to post it later this week.

- Rise of Knight, part 6 - I've banned myself from drawing anything else until I've finished the next page, which I have already started to 'ink'. After that, there's only one page left and it's the whole reason I made it in the first place so I hopefully won't leave it too long.

- Hunter/Prey Au (CM Punk/Drew McIntyre) - Aiming for this to be a one-shot/two chapter fic. About 20% done but will be my main focus for now alongside Ashes.

- Out of the Ashes - next chapter is about 70% complete, maybe more. Now my main focus until it's complete.

- Cody Valetverse Fic - A request that I'm keen to work on. Likely to be a one-shot, it'll be a side project after Hunter AU.

- Valetverse ficlet - Have an idea rattling around my head for a follow-up to 'When Hell Froze Over'. Probably a day or two's work.

- Winners Rooms AU (LA Knight/Roman Reigns) - Delayed. Currently about 30% complete but I'm struggling to nail the tone I'm wanting.

- Valetverse one-shot - Knowing me, I do need a little distraction once in a while when I'm writing a multi-chapter fic so will probably dip back into the valetverse, either for another LA Knight sequel or the Phil Calaway prequel. Ooh, there's also the Finn/Samoa Joe one!

- Art (various) - Soooo many things I want to draw right now! I promised an LA Knight/Roman Reigns sub/dom pic and I will deliver, I promise! Also really, really want to draw some scenes from Red Moon. More Punkintyre and finally introduce some Punknightyre (that works, right?)! Not forgetting the last of the CM Punk requests.

- Flint and Steel, Part III (Finn Balor/Seth Rollins) - It's feels like a lifetime ago since I immersed myself in the F&S AU and I'm missing it terribly. Once Ashes is complete, this will be my next focus.

- Valets of WWE Sequel - Ideas keep creeping in for this but like before, there will be plenty of room for reader requests.

As always, there will be new ideas and distractions come up but that's the general plan anyway. Oh, and I'm always happy to share snippets of my WIPs or ideas I have for them so feel free to send me asks. 😘

#Thlayli-writes #wip list #art wip #fic wip

[apneicodette]

To be dead is to be alive. (Or is it the other way around?)

Scaramouche x (gender neutral) reader oneshot

Modern AU

Warning: Mentions of death and abuse, Attempt at humor, hint of suicidal thoughts. (But happy end, this is fluff brah)

When bonding over dead family members who were complete assholes leads to a coffee date.

┏ ʟᴏᴜɪꜱᴇ - 【ᴛᴠ】 ɢɪʀʟ. ┐

1:01 ────●──────────── 3:15

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

└ ┛

Louise, Louise

You can't be anybody's friend

Louise, Louise

I'll love you 'til I'm dead

The cold air of winter brings you a sense of comfort. The feeling of almost freezing to death was something you grew fond of. That and also no bugs to disturb your peace.

Which is why you take the opportunity to visit your father's grave. But, really, it was mostly in the hopes of running into the boy who'd too visit a grave in the winter. A grave that just so happened to be right next to your father's.

"Was that your mother?" you asked even though it was quite obvious.

The boy usually ignored you, but you didn't really care. You watched as the snow clinged onto his violet hair and his long winter coat.

You lightly sighed as you eyed your fathers grave.

"I fucking hated him" you said.

Your expectation of silence was surprised by the boy's soft chuckle.

"That makes the two of us."

He left his mother's grave heading towards the exit of the cemetery leaving his footprints behind.

This was the first time he had conversed with you over the past week. And though it ended pretty quickly, you found some joy of gaining his attention. It's not like it'll be the last time you see him, as you both arrive at the cemetery same time everyday. Expect Sunday's, you prefer to stay home that day.

"Paying your respects to my father?" You laughed as you walked towards your father's grave to which you were greeted by the boy eyeing the tombstone.

"A lawyer who helped criminals" He turned to meet your eyes, a purple hue analyzing your features for the first time, at least with you looking right at him as he does so.

"Ah, so you did your research. He was-uh, an interesting individual. I never did truly understand him."

"And what about now. With all the news." He was awfully chatty all of a sudden? You nodded your head, though you didn't say anything.

"What's your name?" You dismissed his question.

"I asked you something" he sternly said.

"Yeah, well, I don't feel like answering it. Is that fair?" You balanced back and forth with your hands in your coat pocket.

"Whatever." He scoffed.

"So....?" He looked as if he was contemplating whether or not he should humor your question since you did not answer his.

"Kunikuzushi."

You repeated his name constantly in your head. To say your intrigued by him is a understatement. He certainly made your life a tad bit more interesting. The fact he never asked your name told you he already knew it.

"Let's go on a date." You randomly proposed catching the boy off guard.

"Excuse me?" He coughed out.

"You heard me," you brightly said as you watched him regain his composure. You found his shielded defense personality adorable when he slips up.

"Yeah hard pass."

"Really? So you're telling me you rather be here and watch the same stiff ass tombstone of someone you don't even like than go on a date with a beautiful person such as myself?"

"Hmm, let me think about it.... yeah!"

"Oh be honest Kuni, you come here everyday, same time, in hopes of seeing me."

"In your dreams."

"More like reality asshat"

"Don't project your delusional romantic fantasies onto me."

You rolled your eyes at his rejection to your request. So you resorted to your over-exaggerated groans and heavy sighs of disappointment. And it worked considering the boy's short temper.

"What do you even gain from this date" he massaged the bridged of his nose, you were probably giving him an headache.

"Your attention."

"You have it now, dont you?"

"Yes, but I would rather not be in the same setting with you all the time. It feels like others are intruding on our conversations, dont you think?" You reference to the two tombstones in front of you both.

You don't remember how, but somehow managed to convince the stubborn introverted mysterious boy to go to a cafe near the area with you.

"Dont you find it strange?" You lightly blew on your latte to cool it down.

The boy across the table from you arched a brow. You opened your mouth to clarify your statment.

"I feel like I've known you for the longest time. Its like we're soulmates!"

"Not this again" he groaned in annoyance.

"Haha, okay, I'll stop. But don't you feel it too -" you sighed at the death stare he gave you. "You don't really add much to a conversation."

You both sat in silent till it was his turn to finally contribute to the conversation you so wanted.

"I've seen you in school before."

"Oo tell me more tell me more, like did I have a car!" You sang as a means of encouragement and childness.

"Are you mentally okay?" To your suprise, he lightly chuckled at your randomness.

"Was that a laugh!?!? Little old me made you laugh!?" You put your hand on your chest for an exaggerated expression.

"I will kill you." He smiled disappeared, though you could tell he was biting his cheeks.

"Okay, okay, but as you were saying."

"You get bullied a lot."

"Jee, thanks."

"It clearly bothers you, though you dont show it."

"I mean, I could say the same about you. Same but not the same. I mean, I'm not an asshole but because my dad practically was, I get shitted on. You ARE an asshole and people shit on you for it because your mom was practically an angel"

"Hardly."

"Basically."

You wonder where he was going with the sudden topic, but he took it no further as he drank the rest of his coffee. "Truly are the devil. Black Coffee? No sugar?"

"You can say, I'm just as bitter as it taste."

"I bet you thought you looked really cool as you said that."

"Im leaving."

Not this again. Many lights flashed in your eyes at such a rapid speed. You were sure you'd go blind. The sounds of cameras taking pictures of you in many angels were becoming so overwhelming that you couldn't understand the many questions these reporters were bombarding you with.

Only mumbled voices invaded your head as you desperately tried to find a way out. A mic was shoved in your face as you stared into the camera zooming in your face.

"Huh," you were out of breath, and that was the only word that managed to come out. The reporter pointed the mic towards themselves to repeat their question before returning it to you.

"Do you plan to follow in your Father's footsteps? It was believed one of his clients killed him. Is it true? Did you support your father's action? Are the rumors of his abusive behavior towards you true as well?"

You swore everything was spining, "No?" You said still looking for a way out. Your unsure response caused a uproar of questions. You started to lose your composer.

"Get the fuck of me!" You shoved the mic away from your face as you forcibly pushed your self through the crowd.

This always happened. Why? Because a stupid lawyer decided to help criminals escape from death threatening sentences. And, it was the fact he was good at his job and so willingly used his intelligence to help these horrid human beings is what cursed his name, and in return, you. All for the sake of money.

Seeing the reporters shortly following after you, you started to run in the hopes of losing them. But of course, these drama, thirsty reporters know how to chase down a story.

A sound of a motorcycle raising its engine caught your attention. "Get in" Kunikuzushi's voice called out to you. Never have been more happy to see his face.

You didn't waste any time to climb on the back, grabbing his waist as he sped off, not even caring for the red light that shined. You turned your head watching as the reporters disappeared from your line of sight.

Finally, you can breathe.

You relaxed your body leaning into the warmth of Scaramouche's body. "Thank you."

He didn't say anything, but he never really needs to when it comes to you. His actions always speak louder.

You both had stopped at a convenient store at a quiet neighborhood sitting at the edge of the sidewalk after buying snacks to eat.

"I've should've known you owned a motorcycle." You commented already missing the feeling of being on it.

"I bet you thought I was hot." He smugly said.

"Alright let's not get too cocky now." You mocked.

"But you're not denying it."

You laughed at you stared at the distant forest the blue sky peeking through the leaves.

"They often bother you?" He asked.

You hummed, "Occasionally, but never as much as they did today. Their so fucking annyoing."

"They're just assholes who are trying to make a profit out of other people's misery."

"You can say that again."

"Here," He handed you a side of his wired headphones and you plugged it to your ears. You both zoned out off into to the distance. You both had grown comfortable with each other after your little coffee date, and the ones that shortly came after it.

You perferred to be alone, but you never imagine how good it'd feel to be alone with someone else. The soft music in your ear was slowly lulling you to sleep as you rested your head on Kunikuzushi's shoulder.

Your hands slowly brushed. You almost retracted it back until Kunikuzushi hand firmly sat on top of yours. He let out a shaky breath.

"Fuck." He said softly. How could one cursed so nicely you thought.

"What?"

"I hate you."

"That's cute."

You both laughed. Not the first time he said such a thing but you both knew it was utter bullshit.

"Don't do it." His voice got quiter, more serious. You brought your head back up in confusion towards his vague comment.

"Hmm? Do what?"

"Your stupid email sent early, you clearly didnt mean for it to."

You froze as your heart sank. "I- I." For once you had a lost for words.

"Not yet..... just wait it out. And if it really gets bad then, I'll go with you. Deal?"

"Kuni-" he cut you off.

"Just say yes." He looked at your eyes searching for an answer.

You gently placed your hand on his face, placing a light feathery kiss on his lips, he leaned into your touch holding tightly to the hand on his cheek.

"Yes."

The sun was setting.

#genshin morden au #modern au #genshin modern au #genshin x reader #scara x reader #genshin wanderer #wanderer x reader #fluff #Kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche x reader #kunikuzushi #genshin impact

[stargazer-sims]

2. The Project

"Hey kid, what's up?"

Caroline shifts her gaze away from her laptop when she hears Victor's voice. He's hopping off the last step just as she turns to look, and once he realizes he's gotten her attention, he gives her an exaggerated wave. He can be such a goofball sometimes, and if he's this energetic at forty-seven, she can't help wondering what he must've been like at her age. She smiles. Nanna Grace must've had an interesting time of it while he was growing up. She probably had to figure out ways to keep him from literally bouncing off the walls.

Victor crosses the short distance from the foot of the stairs to where Caroline is sitting at the kitchen island and settles himself on the stool next to hers. Now that he's close enough, she notices how tousled he is. His silver hair is sticking out in every direction, and it's obvious he'd been sleeping in the rumpled t-shirt and sweatpants he's wearing.

Evidently, he just woke up and couldn't wait to greet her. She loves that about him. He's always happy to see her, even if they've only been apart for a handful of hours.

She has to confess she's happy to see him too. She loves both her parents, but Victor has always been her favourite. They bonded on the very first day they'd met, and Caroline can't imagine a life without him now.

"I'm making some notes," she tells him. "For my Media Studies project. How was work last night?"

"It was good. Surprisingly uneventful, but I'm definitely not complaining about a quiet night shift. How was school? And swim practice?"

"School was... school." She shrugs slightly. "Swim practice was awesome. Jack wants me to be on the relay team this season. He says I'm the fastest, so he wants me to be the last swimmer in the relay, but we still have to figure out the logistics 'cause I can't see when my teammate touches the wall."

"Maybe she can just yell 'go' or something as soon as she touches it," Victor suggests. "That's allowed, right?"

"I don't know," Caroline admits. "Jack and Matilda should know, though. I mean, knowing the rules is part of the coaches' job. I can ask tomorrow."

"Good idea. Did Grandpa Julian pick you up from practice?"

"Yup, and he told me to tell you that Nanna's still waiting for you to let her know when you can paint their kitchen."

"Oh crap!" Victor smacks his palm lightly against his forehead. "I was supposed to get back to her on that weeks ago. I was gonna see if I could recruit your uncle Leo to help me with it, but I totally forgot. I should've written it down."

Caroline laughs. "You know, you should probably write most things down."

"What can I say? Sometimes I'm easily distracted."

"Just sometimes?"

"Have I ever mentioned your sense of humour is just like Yuri's? Anyway, I remember the really important stuff without having to write it down. That should count for something, shouldn't it?"

"Do you remember it'll be Yuri's birthday in a couple weeks?"

It's Victor's turn to laugh. "I've been remembering Yuri's birthday since long before you came along. It's a super important day, and I'd be in big trouble if I forgot that."

"Isn't everybody's birthday a super important day?"

"Well, yeah," Victor agrees. "But when Yuri was born, the doctors all said he probably wouldn't live to see his first one, so it's not just a birthday to him. It's a celebration of being alive."

"Really?" Caroline is intrigued. She hadn't known that about Yuri. "Why would the doctors say that?"

"Because he came way too early and he was really sick. Babies who are born as early as he was don't always make it, even with the medical technology we have. Back then, their chances were even lower than they are these days."

"But he survived."

"He did, and that's absolutely worth celebrating," Victor says. "Incidentally, while we're on the subject of Yuri, have we heard from him since this morning?"

"Actually, he texted me just before you came downstairs. He's coming home early, and he wanted to know if we wanted him to pick up food on the way."

"And you said yes?"

"Yup. I said pizza. Is that okay?"

"Sounds great," Victor says. "Want to help me make a salad and some protein drinks to go with it? And while we're doing that, you can tell me all about your project. Didn't you mention something yesterday about a podcast?"

"Forest and Camellia are doing a podcast. I'm making a documentary."

"That sounds ambitious. What's your documentary going to be about?"

"About my life," she says. "I'm calling it Caroline and Company."

She slides off her stool at almost the same moment Victor gets down from his. While he goes to the fridge to take out some vegetables for their salad, she moves her laptop to the coffee table in the living room. It's not that there's any shortage of counter space, but she doesn't like leaving her computer unattended on something as tall as the kitchen island.

By the time she returns, Victor has lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, a yellow bell pepper, a cucumber and a red onion lined up on the counter. There's a small brick of cheese as well, and some eggs they'd boiled the day before. To Victor, salad isn't a sad bowl of lettuce; it's a culinary work of art, and she's certain he considers himself one of the masters of the fine art of the salad.

Caroline loves cooking with Victor, regardless of what they happen to be making. For as long as she can remember, he's encouraged her to help him in the kitchen. She recalls baking cake and cookies during her first Christmas with him and Yuri, when she had to stand on a step-stool to reach the counter and accidentally spilled milk everywhere. Victor hadn't scolded her for that. He hadn't even seemed particularly bothered. He'd just cleaned up the mess, and when their baking session was done, he'd hugged her tight and praised her for being "the best little baker ever."

Victor assigns her the tasks of shredding the lettuce and grating the cheese. He chops the other vegetables with a speed and precision that scares her a little. She considers herself to be fairly confident with knives, but she has to take her time and make sure she can see what she's cutting. If she did it the way Victor does, she thinks there's a real possibility she might lose the end of a finger.

While they work, she describes the details of her project to him, how she and her classmates have the whole school year to complete their big assignment, and how they're building a website to showcase their work.

"So, you're going to tell your life story in a series of videos," Victor says when she stops talking. "Here... pass me those eggs. Do you want to get started on the smoothies?"

"Sure." She slides the bowl of boiled eggs across the countertop toward him before wandering over to the fridge. "What kind of smoothies do we want? We've got bananas and peaches, and there are some strawberries left."

"You can pick," he says.

She chooses strawberries and a banana and takes them out of the fridge along with a container of yogurt. "It's going to be more than just me in the videos."

"Oh?"

"I want to interview Obā-chan in Kyoto and record our video chat," she elaborates. "I'd like to interview you and Yuri too, and maybe Jack and some of my friends. Also Laila and Dr. Reid-Mayfield, 'cause I feel like we wouldn't even be a family if it wasn't for them."

"I can't speak for anybody else, but you can definitely interview me," Victor says. "I'm sure Yuri will let you interview him too, and I'd be really surprised if Laila said no. Getting Dr. Reid-Mayfield into it might be a hard sell, but it never hurts to ask."

"Cool," Caroline says. "Another idea I had was to let people have the camera and make a video by themselves. You know, 'cause it might be too awkward for some people to talk about me right in front of me. Like, I don't think Forest would enjoy being interviewed on camera, but he might record something if he could just be alone in his room."

Victor pauses in the middle of peeling the shell off an egg and nods. "Yeah, it's definitely easier to get your thoughts out when you're in a room by yourself. I always found it better to make journal entries when there was nobody else around."

"Writing in a journal is different, though. You're not saying your thoughts aloud."

"I didn't say I was writing."

Caroline frowns, but quickly tries to smooth her expression when she remembers that it'll probably lead to her having a pronounced crease between her eyebrows some day, just like Obā-chan. Expression notwithstanding, she's still confused. She glances up from her half-peeled banana to meet her father's eyes. "But, you said you were journalling?"

"Yeah," Victor affirms. "We were. A long time ago, Yuri and I kept a video journal for over a year."

"Really? Did you do it for any special reason?"

"It was supposed to be a travel journal and it was only meant to be my journal originally," he says. "I had this wild plan to go on some big world adventure, and I wanted to capture all my experiences."

"But I guess you didn't actually have a world adventure?"

"I sort of had one. I was already living in Japan with Yuri, so there was that, and then I took a trip to Sulani on my own, but it didn't exactly turn out the way I expected."

"What happened?"

"Aside from nearly drowning during a thunderstorm, you mean?" He finishes shelling the third egg, and then deftly slices each one in half. "I found out how expensive recreational travel is. Plus, I missed Yuri so bad that I vowed I'd never go anywhere without him again. Oh, and while I was away, our landlord evicted us and we had less than a month to move."

"That's... a lot."

"It was overwhelming for both of us. Yuri started using my account around that time to record his own feelings about everything, and our journal kind of evolved from there."

"Do you still have it?" Caroline inquires. The fact that her parents kept a video journal once upon a time is a revelation to her. She never could've guessed they'd done that, and now she's beyond curious to know what they'd been through and how they'd felt and what they'd said.

Victor seems to think about it for a second, but finally says, "The account probably still exists, but even if it doesn't, I'm positive Yuri downloaded the whole thing onto a USB drive at some point."

"Could I... would it be okay if I watched it?"

This time, Victor's silence is longer before he responds. "Let me talk to Yuri about that, all right? You know we never hide anything from you, but that was a really dramatic year in our lives and we talked about some heavy stuff in those videos. I think you can handle it, but we're not going to show it to you unless we're both okay with the idea. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does," she says. "I suppose it's kind of like asking somebody if you can read their diary."

"It's exactly like that," Victor says. "It's very personal. We recorded it like there was an audience, I guess because there was originally supposed to be one, but once we started posting about something deeper than mermaid lore and sailing lessons, we made it private. The only people who ever saw it after that were Yuri and me, and Yuri might not be comfortable with you seeing it now."

"I understand."

"I'll talk to him about it tonight, and I'll get back to you once we make a decision."

"Okay," Caroline agrees.

"There's something I want you to do in the meantime," he adds, and the tone of his voice has suddenly gone serious.

"What is it?"

"I need you to think carefully about whether you really, truly want to watch our video journal, if we do agree to let you."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like I said. I believe you're mature enough to grasp most of what happened, and I think you're responsible enough to come to us and talk about anything that upsets you or that you maybe don't quite get, but..." He lets the sentence fade, as if he's trying to work out how to say what he wants to say next. "If you watch it, you might learn some stuff about Yuri and me that you'll end up wishing you didn't know, or that you'll wish you'd waited longer to find out. It can be strange, discovering things about your parents. Confusing and unsettling and... weird."

She wants to ask him what she might find out that'd be so strange and upsetting, but she suddenly thinks better of it and closes her mouth around the barely-formed question. If she could learn it from the video journal and he was reluctant about giving her access to that, it's highly unlikely he's just going to tell her. And maybe he's right anyway, she thinks. Maybe she would be better off not knowing.

The older she gets, the more she accepts that her parents aren't superheroes. They're amazing, smart, strong and kind, and they're unquestionably her heroes, but they mess up sometimes and they're just as human as she is. As Grandpa Julian likes to say, 'they put their trousers on one leg at a time'.

But, even with that comprehension, she can't say she's one hundred percent ready to let her childhood perception of them go completely. Her curiosity is burning a hole through her willpower, but she knows she has to temper her curiosity and impulsiveness with reason. Victor taught her that, and his admonition to think before rushing into a situation has saved her from trouble loads of times. Advice that's always proved to be so good can't suddenly have gone bad.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I shouldn't have asked."

"Come here," Victor says. He moves toward her with his arms open, and she doesn't even hesitate for a heartbeat before stepping into his waiting embrace. She wraps her own arms around him and leans her head against his chest.

Inside Victor's hug is the safest place in the world, and it's consoling enough on its own, but that doesn't prevent him from offering her words of reassurance anyway. "It's all right, sweet Caroline. It's okay that you asked. I don't want you to feel bad for wanting to know. It's just... I also don't want you to jump into something you're not ready for."

"I know," she says. "I'll think about it, I promise."

"Good," he says. "You should give some thought to your school project too. I think it's awesome that you want to tell your story, but the process of learning about yourself isn't always easy either."

"Do you think I shouldn't do it? I could probably come up with a new project idea. Mr. Blanchet already has my proposal, but the real deadline isn't till this Friday. I could—"

"No," Victor stops her gently, mid-sentence. "I think you should. In fact, I'm super proud of you for tackling a project like this. It takes a lot of courage."

"But you said it wouldn't be easy."

"Yes, and that's why you're brave for wanting to," he says. "You already know, just because something isn't easy, that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it or that it won't be worth it. It just means you should be careful and you should be prepared."

"To... to find out stuff about myself that I might not like?" she asks cautiously

"Maybe."

"When you and Yuri were keeping your journal, did you learn things about yourself that you didn't like?"

He tightens his arms around her for a second or two, and she gets the sense that he's doing it involuntarily. "I did," he answers quietly, "And it was really hard. I was scared and angry and sad, sometimes all at once, and sometimes I felt like a total failure at... life, basically. It was a struggle to wrap my head around it and even more of a struggle to change, and I cried a lot."

"You still cry a lot, Victor."

Unexpectedly, he bursts out laughing, and this time when he squeezes her it's clearly deliberate. She feels the tension leave his body, and suddenly she relaxes too. She hadn't even been aware of how rigid she was.

Victor kisses the top of her head. "No such thing as a serious moment with you around, is there?"

"Sorry," she says, but she isn't. She hadn't intended to make him laugh, but the sound of his laughter is so much better than what she likes to call his 'grown-up voice', and she's relieved that he's not upset.

"Cheeky little mermaid," he says in fake exasperation, and she feels warm inside at hearing the childhood nickname her grandfather Kenji — her adorable old Ojī-chan — had given her. It's mostly only Yuri and Ojī-chan who call her that, so it somehow feels special when Victor uses it.

"I can be serious," she tells him. "And I really will consider everything you said."

"I know you will. You're smart and I trust you to make good choices," he says. "If you're ever unsure about anything, though, you can talk to me or Yuri about it."

"Thanks," she says.

After one more affectionate squeeze, he lowers his arms and steps back. They slip into a companionable silence after that, finishing up their dinner preparations before Yuri arrives home from his office.

Caroline has no clue what might be going on in Victor's mind, but hers is tangled with the threads of their conversation. Part of her is anxious over the possibility of uncovering some not-so-pleasant truth about herself, but another part is eager to reveal the pieces of her past that are still a mystery to her. It's exciting and terrifying at the same time, and she has the feeling that no matter what might happen. this project is going to mark a defining point in her life. Once she begins, she'll never be able to un-know all the things she'll discover, and she'll never be able to go back to being an innocent, ignorant child again.

But, it's okay, she tells herself. It's like Victor says; growing up is a journey. And if I don't step forward, how will I ever get there?

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