#i was listening to ska yesterday and thought of them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-have-been-changed-for-good · 6 years

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A Lot of Playfulness

Monday - Scott comes in wearing his gray shirt. I turn around and when I smile at him I can tell he can't help but smile back. During my lunch, Glenn from Canadian Dewatering calls him. He calls Scott every day. We joke about how his co-workers must be tired of him and that that's why he calls to talk to Scott all the time. Scott asks me if I went out for lunch today and I tell him no, that I need to chill on buying lunches. He says he needs to do the same, that it adds up buying them every day. I ask him what's wrong with his voice and he says he lost it over the weekend but it's come back a bit. He wasn't sick or anything. It's weird cuz my throat felt oddly sore today, but I'm not sick. His voice isn't 100% back to normal and still sounds a bit off. I tell him I'm leaving at 3 today for a doctor appointment. He always tells me when he leaves early, so I want to do the same. I ask him how his weekend was and he says he took his daughter to Ocean City. I can't help but wonder if he purposely omitted his wife from this or if he really went down with just his daughter. He said it was nice but that traffic was bad going back home. He asks me how my weekend was and my Sunday off. I tell him brunch starts at 9:30 Sundays, so I set my alarm for 9:29 and watched it changed to 9:30 and enjoyed the fact that I was not at brunch but home in bed. He says that's funny. I tell him it was a bittersweet day though. I got so much done, but I will once again have to go back to Sunday brunches since I haven't left yet. I tell him I got a gelati at Rita’s and he asks me what flavor. I tell him chocolate water ice with vanilla ice cream. "What? Isn't that just like chocolate ice cream? The chocolate would overpower the vanilla." He tells me I should have gotten cherry water ice with chocolate ice cream, but I don't like either of those. His next choice would have been lemon. "Oh no, lemon is even below cherry," I say back. He slowly looks at me and smiles, then shakes his head a bit as he turns back to his computer. I also tell him how I went over my friend's place Saturday night and had a few drinks and still managed to wake up 10:30 Sunday (I went back to sleep after my alarm). Then I tell him i ordered Halloween decorations. He answers how I expect. "What? It's July." "Yeah, but I consider August pre-pre-Halloween, September is pre-Halloween, and then October is Halloween, so to me it's getting close." I show him the yoga skeletons I ordered since that was my fave purchase. I say how I couldn't pass that up, cuz when would I see something like that again. He agrees. We get on the subject of yoga and I tell him he should do it. He asks if many men do it and I tell him not too many usually. Then I say how I'm not really into male instructors much, but idk why. "No offense," I add. He laughs and says he doesn't care. "Yeah, so if you were an instructor, I probably wouldn't go to your class." "Nah, I think you would definitely go to my class." "You're right. I'd make an exception for you." Scott laughs and says thanks. I continue, "You know, on the off chance you decide to dedicate like 6 months of your life to it." I'm cracking up as he responds, "Yeah and with something I've never even tried before." Steve comes in which means my lunch is over. After Scott's lunch, when he makes his tea, this guy Chris goes into the warehouse saying "I fucking hate people" just as Scott is walking out of his office. Scott asks me what I did to piss Chris off. I say "Hey. Why do you think it's me?" He smiles and says, "Cuz you're the only one standing here." I feel really tired and so don't have the energy to act playful in this moment. When 3:00 hits, I go and throw the day's wasted papers in the paper bin by Scott's office. I stop in his doorway. He's texting or whatever on his cell phone. "Bye, Scott. See you tomorrow." "Aight, you leaving, Dane? See you tomorrow." Since Steve is right there I say bye to him too and he says bye. I grab my things, say bye to Pete and Joyce, and then leave for the day.

Tuesday - I had gone into the bathroom in the morning with my brush. It was 8:12. I had time before Scott comes in. I am looking in the mirror, feeling satisfied with my bun, and I hear the back door sound moments before I open the bathroom door. When I pull it open, Scott is walking by. I smile. This was unexpected. He says, "Hey. Watchu doing?" "Hey. Nothing. You're here early." He says something I don't quite catch. I walk behind him, looking at the butt. I go back to my desk and print some things. Scott walks by to use the bathroom. I go to make my coffee, but then the paper runs out at the printer. I usually bend at my knees, but since I hear the bathroom door open, I purposely bend over for when Scott walks by. He doesn't say anything as he passes. I had told him the previous day I would give him my Zyrtec since his allergies are bothering him. My mom had bought them for me but I don't have allergies, she just thinks I do no matter how many times I tell her I don't. I keep knocking the bottle over but don't want to move it to a different spot on my desk since it could get lost in the mess and I'd forget about it. I decide to go and give it to him now instead of at my lunch. I go in his office. Steve isn't in there. I hand it to him and apologize for there not being many left. He smiles. "I thought you didn't take them." "I don't. It wasn't full when she gave them to me." I also would give them to a friend I had dated for a few months last year since he's allergic to cats, but I leave this out since I'm afraid it may make Scott feel less important about me giving them to him. He tells me he's leaving early today to pick up his contacts since his eye doctor closes early. "It only took like a month and a half for them to come in," I reply. We talk for a few minutes about that and then Steve comes back in. Our conversation dies and I leave. When I go in to talk to Scott during my lunch, he's on his phone texting. We start talking, but he's also focusing on his phone. When he's done he explains how he's texting his mom and sister in 2 different conversations. His mom is coming up from Texas to visit and she's bringing her husband, Scott's step-father, who both he and his sister don't like. His sister has been texting him about it. He said last time she got in a screaming match with their stepdad. "Ah, so she's not shy about hiding her feelings." "No, not at all." I comment how his voice sounds a lot better today. It's pretty much back to normal. God, I love his voice. He honestly has the best voice I've ever heard. I'm not just saying that cuz I like him either. I ask if he has scissors and he jokingly asks me what I plan to do with them. He won't give them to me until I answer. "I’m gonna cut your hair" is the best I can come up with. I need to cut a string off the bottom of my jeans. I keep thinking it's a bug. Scott also has a chiropractor/physical therapy appointment today aside from picking up his contacts. He has a few more sessions after this one. His neck already feels great. I look at my tattoo on my wrist and tell him how the girl who rung me out at the liquor store Saturday was the first to know my tattoo was harry potter. "Oh really?" He smiles. "Yeah, and then she gave me like 4 compliments. It was super nice." I tell him I'm staying late and he says "You're crazy" followed by "I'm just joking." I want to make up the time I missed yesterday since I won't get paid for it unless I make it up. We talk about that a bit. I ask him what music he listens to, if it's a reggae or ska station. I heard Sublime a few times and the rest of the music sounds the same. He's not sure exactly what the type of music would be called, and despite being a huge Sublime fan in my teenage years, I honestly don't know what to call it either. I ask if he listens to music all day and if Steve ever gets annoyed and he says no, one or the other always has on music or a podcast. He says Steve usually listens to heavy stuff, which he can't get into, and I agree with him. Steve comes in and I sigh about how my lunch is over. Scott says, "Well it's been fun. We'll do it again tomorrow." I smile and say, "Yup, and the rest of the week."

When Scott makes tea after his lunch, he tells me how Glenn called him from Canadian Dewatering. This rings a bell in my mind. "Oh, you know what I was thinking the other day? If you change the C in Canada to a D, it would be like I have a country named after me." A smile stretches across Scott's face and he shakes his head. I pronounce "Danada" out loud and we laugh. "You already have Scotland. Just add an extra T." "That's true," he says. After laughing a bit more, he says, "Danada. You're funny." I smile big at him. I have no clue what time Scott is leaving today, though I speculate it's a bit later in the day. When he does come to say bye, I'm jamming out with my headphones in while working. He makes me jump when he says bye to me. I turn around, startled, then smile and say, "Bye, Scott."

Wednesday - Scott and I say good morning. I beam at him and he can't help but smile at me. Some time still in the early morning, I go into the warehouse to take an order out. When I come back in, I stop in his office doorway. "Did you see the hitchhiker this morning on the highway?" Scott smiles and says he didn't. There was a guy walking with his arm out and thumb up, a red bag thrown over his shoulder. I'm not sure if he was still there or if Scott just missed him. During my lunch, I bring Scott a cookie from upstairs. I tell him he startled me yesterday when he said bye and he apologizes. I quickly tell him it's okay, that I was just in my own little world. I don't want him to not tell me bye on days he leaves early. Hes texting his sister again and says she texted him at 5am this morning, waking him up. I ask him of he sleeps with his phone next to him and he says he does. I tell him i used to but I put it across the room now. It's easier for me to wake up too. I show him the beautiful sunflowers I got at ShopRite the night before and he asks who got them for me. I tell him i bought them for myself. "You like them, huh?" "Yeah, they're my favorite. It's the first time I've ever had any, actually." I tell him how I stayed late and both Pete and Joyce left before me, which has never happened before. Scott laughs. I tell him I'm seeing David Blaine tonight and that I'm excited. Scott tells me Steve is leaving early today. I like how he lets me know, even though I always see this stuff on their calendar lol. I know there is way more to our conversation today, but I can't remember a lot of it. At the end of my lunch, I ask if he can get me a Starbucks frappe from ShopRite, mocha or vanilla. He says sure. I try to give him my credit card, but he says he's not gonna take that to pay for something that's like $2 and to just pay him back later. I don’t care about giving him my credit card for several reasons: I have no money; I work with Scott, so like I know he’s not going to skip town with my card or do anything since I work with him; and I trust him, which is the biggest reason. I go to my bag and find $2 And some change and put it on his desk. "That should be enough," I smile. He laughs and says, "it's alright." Before he leaves, he stops at my cubicle. "mocha or vanilla, right?" "Yeah, mocha first, vanilla second." "Aight." "Thanks, Scott!" When he comes back in from his lunch, Joyce is in my cubicle talking to me, so Scott goes right into his office. He comes back out a few minutes later to give me my drink. I beam at him and thank him. Scott makes his tea right after. "How long do you take for lunch?" "45 minutes." "Mmm it's definitely longer sometimes. You definitely took a longer lunch today." He just looks at me. "And you even have a watch." He looks at his watch and slowly smiles. "What are you, my boss now?" "Yeah, I could be. How would you feel if I was your boss?" I smile and he smiles too. He says, "I don't know." "Don't worry, I'd go easy on you. Steve, on the other hand...I would be a little harder on him." Scott laughs. Steve is talking, and it takes me a few moments to realize he's on the phone. "I thought he heard me and that he was saying something about what I said," I laugh. Scott cracks up and says, "that would be really funny." Hes still laughing when he walks away. In the later afternoon, I go into the warehouse to bring out an order, then come back in. I turn a bit to Scott, who I don't expect to look at me, but he does, with a little smile on his face. I had started to turn away, then turn back at the last second to look at him again. Not even a minute later, Steve walks out and leaves for the day. I end up walking by Scott's office again not too long after so I go in and talk to him. I tell him how I woke up this morning thinking Its gonna be a good day, and it has not been too much of a good day. He asks me why and I tell him there's just so many problems with orders and whatnot. I tell him i just had some avocado though so that made me about 40% happier. He looks at me and then eagerly asks me if the coffee made me happier. I look at him, smile, and say, "Yeah, it did." He's so cute. I have to wonder now, if a week and a half ago, on the Monday after I confronted him, his ignoring me in the morning and the face he made when I walked by his office wasn't out of fear of me or being uncomfortable, but rather out of attachment to me and a fear of things between us ending. I still see him lounging in his chair, legs apart, hands on his arms rests, smiling big at me after my lunch was over that day. He was so freaking happy I had come in to talk to him. We get on the topic of salads. ShopRite didn’t have chicken today, but another worker was there when Scott was and they chipped in for a rotisserie chicken. He won't eat his salad without chicken in it. I ask him what else he puts in his salads. "Usually spring mix, carrots...." He takes a moment to think. "That's not a salad," I playfully scoff. "I’m not done!" He tells me Glenn called him again. "Are you 2 best friends now?" "Yeah, he's my best friend up in Canada." "When you go there you can stay at his flat, overlooking the city." "Nah, he's not in a good part. Hes in Edmonton. I want to go to Montreal." I laugh, " You're all about Montreal, aren't you?" I tell him for probably the 10th time that I'd love to see Canada in the fall, since I heard they have the best autumns there. I start mentioning Halloween. Scott smiles and says, "You're always about Halloween." I tell him how I love to try new haunted attractions and how most years I go somewhere. I tell him about the time I went with 2 friends and I did get scared that time cuz they had a mirror on one side of the floor and it reflected the ceiling, and they had made it all look like you would fall if you stepped on the mirror side. An actress grabbed me and pulled me and I screamed cuz I thought I was gonna fall. He didn't know they were allowed to grab you and I tell him how places usually have something, like wearing a glowstick thing around your neck to show it's okay to grab you. I got grabbed again by a doctor who put me on his gurney and his nurse held me down and my friends just kept walking and left me, then when I said, "what the hell you guys just left me" they just shrugged and said there was nothing they could do. And my one friend is like 6'5"-6'7", so no one was messing with him. We laugh at my stories. He starts telling me how a guy he used to work with in the other building recently came over to our building to work in the warehouse office. Scott was down there and he had some gum and balled up the wrapper, then flung it at the guy, hitting him in the face. Scott starts cracking up and I laugh too. I tell him i will come back and talk to him in a bit. I end up not talking to Scott again till the very end of the day. I show him a photo of a soap Oracle thing I saw and how now I think about it every time I use the soap in the bathroom. I sit in the chair next to his desk and start doing neck rolls. My hair is in a pony tail and it's pretty long, so my hair keeps flopping in my face. Scott looks at me and smiles. "What are you doing?" "Neck rolls," I respond. Then I add, "Nah, i like to flip my hair in my face for fun." He takes a piece of gum and then asks me if I want a piece. I accept, and as I take it from him, the tips of our fingers brush. He balls up his wrapper and acts like he's about to shoot it at my face, then thinks better of it. "Nah, I was gonna do that, but it might end bad." "Yeah, I'm too close. It would probably hit me in the eye or something." Scott says how he got a phone call from Steve earlier and he's having stomach issues. "Oooh, he got it from you," I say. I'm just kidding, obviously, but Scott starts to say, "what I had wasn't contagious" just as I shoot my wrapper into the trash can by the door. "Ohhh hohhh! Did you see that?!?" Scott laughs and says he did. He shoots and misses, through he hits the back rim of the trash can. He says I'm closer so I had a better chance, and I tell him that he's standing and higher up, so he had the better leverage. We start talking about how everyone this year has had stomach issues. I tell him how back in January when I was in the hospital, the doctor told me stomach issues were gonna be bad this year. I add on, "he should give up his doctor gig and become a psychic instead." Scott laughs and agrees with me. I decide to grab his wrapper and try to shoot from where he’s standing. I go and stand behind him, shoot, and miss. Scott says how he was closer. I try a second time, and a third, but I don't make any of the shots. It's time to go, so I go back to my desk to shut down, grab my things, and say bye to Pete and Joyce. I go back to Scott's office so we can walk out together. He throws his plastic cup in the trash. "You know, we pass a recycling bin on the way out." He smiles at me and says his hands are full, which they aren't, considering he just had the cup in his hand. We talk as we go down the hall to the back door. I turn to smile at him and can see through his glasses that his eyes are looking at my smile. We say bye and leave for the day.

Thursday - Scott had mentioned he would be coming in late today since he had a follow-up appointment with his stomach doctor, so I end up not seeing him at all until my lunch. I bring him a cookie again, and as he takes it from me, our hands touch. I wish I could just grab his hand and hold it in mine. I ask him how his doctor appointment went and he said everything went well. They finally took him off all of the medication and instead just gave him one last one to take for a bit. I tell him all about David Blaine's show and show him the picture I got with him. He looks at it and smiles. I tell him how I did get bad news earlier, how Angelo told me I've been put on hold again due to “operations issues”, which Scott and I both discuss. Angelo did seem mad about it this time because they keep doing this to me. He said he understands if I want to leave but that they like having me here and I'm an asset. Scott asks me what I'm gonna do and if I’ve been looking into other jobs. "Trying to get rid of me?" I joke. "No, I'm just trying to help." I wasn't expecting that. I wonder if Scott cares about me. He has hand sanitizer sitting on his desk with the lid unscrewed. I ask him why he doesn't just get a new one. He said he did, it's just on the other side of his desk and that he's gonna recycle that one. I tell him good job and he smiles. He has on different music than normal today, which I comment on. He said he likes to switch it up every now and then. An ad comes on and he says he hates this ad. I know his pain. I listen to YouTube a lot and I always get the stupid Italian ad, it's for wine or something, and a lady is singing. It's annoying, and half the time you can't skip it. Scott burps and says "excuse me." I say it's okay, how I hear him burp all the time and he says it's not just him, its Steve too. I laugh and say, "oh, I always just assumed it was you." Steve comes in and then goes to the water jug down the hall, but he has to change it. He goes into the warehouse and grabs another one. He grabbed it by the handle with both hands and is carrying it in front of himself as he walks. I watch him and say quietly, "Steve looks like he's struggling over there." Scott looks and then laughs and agrees with me. Steve then switches the jug to one hand and carries it by his side, which looks much better. I tell Scott I'll talk to him later and as I walk toward the door I turn my head around, and I just see Scott looking away from my butt at the last second.

When Scott goes on lunch, he asks me if I want anything and I tell him no thanks. When he comes back from lunch and makes his tea, he says ShopRite was out of chicken so he came back and had some sandwiches from upstairs. I tell him how the other week they had veggie sandwiches for a training group and how there must have been some vegetarians because they never have that. I tell him idk if I would have eaten them since they were probably touching the meat. He finds this weird, but I assure him amongst vegetarians and vegans, it's a common thing. It's cross-contamination and we don't want animal products in our bodies. I tell him if someone has a nut or shellfish allergy and something touches their food, they'd have an allergic reaction. He says that's different, but I don't see it that way. He asks me why it bothers me and I tell him i don’t want to eat something that died. "But you still eat eggs?" “Yeah, but they're not fertilized.” "Cuz nothing died?" "Yes." "And you still have dairy?" "Yes." "Cuz nothing died?" "Yes." I could go into detail how I actually replace most of my dairy products with vegan stuff now and how I do struggle with whether I should eat eggs and dairy at all, though I do only buy free range eggs after watching a documentary on how chickens are treated in cages. We somehow get on the topic of whipped cream and I joke how Scott is probably one of those people who squirt it into their mouths. He doesn't deny it. He says how his tea is hot and he puts it down. "Yeah, it goes right from hot to cold, and there's like a 5 minute period where it's perfect to drink. That's why I always heat it in the microwave." I get some water for my tea bag, and see there's a tiny fly in the cup. I walk down the hall to the sink to dump it and throw my cup away, then head back. Scott and Steve are talking, and Scott is standing up, leaning on his elbow, and facing the door. Hes got a small smile on his lips as he watches me. I catch his eye and smile back at him. A little later I have to take an order out into the warehouse. This guy Chris is heading that way too, and he lets me go ahead of him. I come back and turn to smile at Scott, who I could see was turned toward the door, waiting for me to come back. I go in to talk to Scott at the end of the day and the same Chris comes in not long after cuz Scott had told him as he passed to check his email, but he came in instead. Chris assumes that what's on Scott's screen is what he was talking about, so he takes the mouse from Scott. Chris asks him what it is and Scott tells him that not it. Chris is like "what the hell" and Scott laughs and says, "well you just took the mouse from me!". Chris leaves and Scott notices I'm chewing gum. He asks what kind it is and I say, "I don't know, I just grab whatever and hope I like it." I go and get it and show Scott and he asks if he can have a piece, so I give him one. He balls up his wrapper, shoots, and scores. "Heeyyy! You made it today!" Scott says how he normally misses a lot though. I tell him how there was a little fly thing in my water earlier and he says, "that's weird" but I thought he had said, "that's rude." "Ohh haha I thought you meant it was rude of the fly to be in my water." "Well, it was rude." He takes forever to shut down his stuff, so it's around 4:50, but I'm staying late. We walk out of his office and he says, "have fun staying late" and I laugh and say I'll see him tomorrow.

Friday - In the morning, I feel really happy to see Scott. Not too long after, I go to refill my water, but our jug is empty. I put a new one on (our jug area has room to keep spare full ones next to it) and then go into the warehouse to take the empty one out. I go over to where the jugs are kept and there's a lot of empty ones piling up. I look at them to find a spot and then look at Scott through his window. Hes standing, leaning on his left elbow, and he's staring at me with a smile on his lips. I can feel my face light up and I smile big at him with my mouth still closed. I look back at the jugs and place mine down, then look at Scott again, who hasn't moved or anything. I'm still beaming at him. He looks so handsome and I love the way he's looking at me. I go back to my desk and my heart is fluttering. I didn't bring a lunch today since I was hoping for pizza, but the trainees finished yesterday. There are pretzels upstairs, so I grab one and heat it in the microwave. When I walk toward Scott's office on the way back to my desk, he looks at me and tilts his head up in a nod. When i go in to talk to him after i finish eating, Glenn calls. I ask Scott if Glenn calls Steve too and Scott says he does, that he talks to both of them daily. I tell him there's no food upstairs today and how I had a pretzel and he asks me if I want him to get me anything when he goes out. I brought a ton of healthy snacks, so I tell him I'm good. I ask him if he has any plans this weekend, and for the 3rd weekend in a row he tells me he doesn't. I work all weekend since I took a Saturday shift this week. We get on the topic of sleeping and waking up early. Scott was always the type of person to stay up late and sleep in, but now he stays up late and wakes up early. He said at his old job the hours were 11-7, so he didn't have to wake up too early. I tell him how I ended up seeing Angelo before I left yesterday and he told me he talked to his boss and that they were both still going to try and get me in permanent and to not have me put on hold again. Scott asks if Dan is Angelo's boss. Dan goes back and forth between our office and North Carolina. I tell Scott the story of when I first met him. I had been on lunch but finished eating and I was on the computer. Angelo and Dan came over to my cubicle, and when I turned around, hummus got on my hand, it must have been on my bag or something. So Dan reached out his hand and I said, "Hold on, I have hummus on my hand." And they stood there awkwardly as I got up to grab a paper towel, wipe my hand, then went back to my desk to use hand sanitizer, then I held out my hand for him to shake it. Scott and I are cracking up. It's a pretty funny story, though I was a bit embarrassed. Before Scott goes out, he once again stops by my cubicle to ask if I want anything. I consider asking for a frappe again, but instead tell him no thanks. When he's done lunch and makes his tea, I have nothing to print, but my water bottle is empty, so I get up to fill that. I drink it as I walk back and end up spilling water on my chin. I wipe my mouth and Scott looks at me with a smile. I stop and ask if they had his chicken today, but they didn't, so he went to WaWa and got a chicken sandwich. We talk for another minute or two and then he turns to go and get his creamer. He had forgotten to grab a stirrer, so he takes a big step to the right to grab one. I watch him move and ughhh his butt, it kills me. It's so nice. At one point, I come up the hall from the bathroom, and just as I reach the corner of my cubicle, the warehouse door opens. I turn and look and see it's Scott. I hear him not long after talking to the receptionist. He usually goes back to his office down his hallway, but I hear him talking down the larger hallway, so he must have gone to talk to someone. He walks by my desk and when I turn, I can see he had just turned away from looking in my cubicle. I go in at the end of the day to talk to him and he tells me Steve has off Monday, which of course I knew. I also know Scott has off next Friday. I'm curious as to why, and hope it's nothing heartbreaking for me, though if it is, he probably won't give me a reason as to why he has off, or might omit his wife if she's part of the equation, or I may just overhear him telling someone about it. In any case, I'm bracing myself for the worst. I am looking forward to Steve having off though. Scott may be busy with it being just him, but it also means I can just go in and talk to him whenever I feel like it, and that if I go into the warehouse, I can always turn to smile at him. I'm entering Amazon giveaways on my phone and one thing is a rice cooker that’s worth $180. I tell Scott i don’t get the point of a rice cooker, since rice takes like 5 minutes to boil on the stove and that it seems like they're too expensive for something you don't even really need. He agrees. He seems like he's not in a talkative mood too much. It's time to go, so I go and shut down, grab my things, then say bye to Pete and Joyce. I go back to Scott's office since he's still not done. He just finished wiping his sunglasses with some sort of special wipe, and asks me if I want to use it before he throws it out. My glasses are pretty dirty, so I take it. We walk out together. When we're driving, Scott doesn't get on the highway but instead stays straight. I feel a pang in my heart as I watch him drive away. I hope all the time that this doesn't lead to heartbreak, though I have trouble seeing how the situation could ever work in my favor. Still, I hold out hope that some miracle happen. I just find it hard to believe that this is a man who goes home to a happy home life, who goes home and works on his marriage, who married the right person. Of course, I could be totally wrong and Scott could be perfectly happy with his home, his wife, his marriage, and I am just the wrench thrown into the equation, some sort of temptation he has to work through. But I don’t know. “It’s complicated” and “It would be easy if I wasn’t married” have popped into my mind a few times these past 2 weeks, but it’s so exhausting trying to figure out what he meant, because he gave me nothing to go off of. So I pretty much just let it be as soon as my mind goes, “Hey, what do you think these things mean?? We haven’t figured it out yet.” I could just ask Scott to clarify, though I’m doubtful it will get me anywhere. I’ve just accepted at this point that he’ll tell me in his own time and that it has nothing to really do with me, that he just has to be completely sure and ready before he tells me anything. I don’t know how I know this, I just do. Anyway, looking forward to what Monday has to bring and the rest of the week, and also getting my hair done Tuesday night. I’m getting a nice change, and besides being really excited to get something new and something I really want, I’m curious to see what Scott will say. I’m not expecting some big reaction or anything or even a compliment. I guess I just kind of want to see if he notices, which I’m sure he will.

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bibiamor · 3 years

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21/12/20

Last night having 69 w Leonardo Di cap

My policeman

Was so tall and warm and funny but witty and t bland also spicy . He reminded me of one the guardians I see during Aaron’s meditation. He’s this like exemplary guy. What I would consider the perfect dude. Funny and strong and tall brave and beautiful in a offbeat unique way. Light eyes dark hair.

I was lost. My friends took cars and were already there and for some reason I chose to walk with Aries I believe and he rose me up so high and pointed to a highway or roads that curved to the right above or just next to the sea. He pointed like the soldier in my dream. I felt so safe and protected and cared for.

20/12/20

Mom and I leaving a white van on a hill or cliff ledge and getting out to go further up the mountain me leaving Aries and putting him outside or to one side to wait

Later a bigger van turned j to a robot

A super super tall Italian policeman who helped me find a place directions

It’s the ska jab thins and mosaics. J’y they are underwater I was going w two more friends one I had an affair with

Dean was mad there was an event with joe or lee

I kept carrying the heart earring in my mouth lest I lose it

Pearls ?

Mama had Lucy she took her and she lost her in Granada . She let her sleep outside and Lucy ran away. Trusting her with a big responsibility? But it seemed like genuine accident

19/12/20

777 briefcase dream

(Dad, money, work, business woman, travel)

7777 next day during Casino

777 on day of car inspection or day after

777= 21=3

7 is spiritual hero’s journey 7 is psychic phenomena 7 is unlocking the briefcase of knowledge through rosemary’s books perhaps is what they’re telling me

My Tom cruise dream

1. I admire him a lot since the Irish America movie. His work ethic. Ability to be convincing no matter what despite being annoying.

2. His name. CRUISE. As in, a long voyage on a SHIP which is what I’ve called the VW a few times.

19/12

Last night I dreamt Arshag either said it or I sensed it telepathically that he wanted to settle and have a family. Not necessarily with me. And I told him that it wasn’t the solution to his ailments or problems.

Later the entrance to a place where I would or could buy the VW. Except it was like a black tent nightclub entrance with gold ropes and a red carpet leading to it. It looked a lot like the entrance to an underground strip club or Soohisticats in London that leads to a stairway. Today my book said underground places can represent the subconscious. I need to access it to find my VW? 😅

18/12/20

O just napped

Dreamt I accidentally had left my patriots jacket in the machine before a wash and I was so upset bc it’s so special to me. Mostly ok but when I made myself try it on it shrunk . Some numbers were faded where it was blue it was now white no vie versa. And the back was now cheap plastic material and you couldn’t see the patriots logo anymore. Then I willed myself to see more and thought of the eagle on the jacket ? 53 on the sleeve . I remembered the last guy who told me how nice it was and I was chuffed he’d never find it online and now mine was ruined I wouldn’t be able to either

10/12/20

Dreaming in another language for the first time ever. “Le rôle de parleur ou commandeur ». Something about being in a chariot kind of position to make demands from others, for others to ‘respect’ or listen to. The car i think.

Something about delivering messages like parcels just like the podcast I listened to before bed. Same message.

8/12/20

Dream yesterday

Sex w two guys unknown. One to my right and another laying down underneath my long skirt. Possibly a period skirt. Think it was a wet dream. Perhaps creative energy surging with no place to go since I haven’t been meditating.

Last night I watched callas kennedy Onassis documentary and dreamt I was on a massive piece of land that looked more like Brittany but was owned by the kennedys. I remember saying the name Rose though it might’ve been bc of the mother. I was there asking for permission to film on their property. It was all very informal and they were all dressed rather casual not what I expected from Kennedy’s but they seemed to be out strolling or hunting with dogs. “Yes should be fine, Rose/someone should be around”.

2/12/20

Dreams

Jeremy again! Being nice getting along being almost flirty again being close. Him telling me which bread he likes (with seeds) and other things I didn’t write down soon enough. He still hasn’t replied to my last email about them. What could they possibly mean?

Something about Arshag which reminds me I can ask him my car q’s.

16/11/20

Last night’s dream: 2 very specific clear images.

First, a falcon. Perched. Alone. With hood so he couldn’t see. No owner but clearly had one.

This is the 5th falcon/eagle in a week not including the ‘one’ we found. There’s something about this animal I need to research or I really have to do that shamanic tunnel technique of finding my power animal. Clearly he’s waiting to give me something I need.

Second, the towers of Cologne cathedral. I even had the exact name. I think of the Manara Tower card with this illustration. Unexpected destructions and break ups. Gothic architecture. Hochi. He was a writer. The club and my time there. The first place my mother landed in Europe. Point zero? When Luca visited. Tower moment. What am I supposed to go back and explore. My time dancing? To write about it? The history of the cathedral? How to move through tower card moments?

Later completely separately. Being a mature student in a high school. Being very literally persecuted by yet another woman. A cop of some sort. Unequivocally irrationally triggered by my energy and person and felt she had to bring me down no matter what. I failed to follow some rules that actually most people were relaxed about but since she was on to me, she caught me and expelled me from the school. I was in her room sleeping when I should have been in class and she hadn’t noticed. And that was that, there was no turning back from her decision, she involved superiors and many others to make sure I would leave. I was sad and disappointed because I was learning and I still had 3 months left in my rent (which I think was here). Again, punishment didn’t fit the crime. It was blown way out of proportion: a Justice card from earlier echo. But then some friends came up with a plan for revenge and managed to make this huge party they knew she’d come to where I was at too with a huge gas mask so she wouldn’t recognise me. I don’t know if she died but she did suffer. Things were burned, evidence was burned. It wasn’t my idea, I don’t think I really cared. Aries and I were already planning our next venture. Lots of sand. Like a Texas Arizona America vibe.

Yesterday it was bizarre and disjointed, the kind that doesn’t seem to make any sense whatsoever. There was a Russian kid who looked pretty much like the Russian contestant on master of photography. I had to babysit him kind of and he was following me around and waiting for me everywhere. We went to the cinema where I spent 300€ in the kiosk shop on food and god knows what else, it felt justified and I just swiped my card like I wasn’t worried at all about money. It didn’t feel frivolous or reckless. He helped me with my shopping bags. It wasn’t romantic. I think my mom was driving us around? I had to choose between two movies to watch. One was like a romantic thriller with pinks and purples in the poster like a twilight type deal but I chose the more normal romantic Indian movie and there were huge queues at the cinema (despite the restrictions) with tons of people at the gate. Huge crowds and everyone was black because all the white people were too scared to leave their house because of corona. Then a black girl with boy short hair and tight black sports clothes and she needed my/our help because she said she’d done the shamanic power animal dance but she still couldn’t get the soil on her land fertile enough to build or just the salmon goo soil she had in this massive flat ceramic cauldron. You could make little turrets out of the goo but it never stayed solid enough to hold it would melt back into the soup so you definitely couldn’t build anything. Then, 3rd person sentences about me like it was a Cayce or Akashic reading saying I had “wholly embraced” all the angel information recently and that they were happy about that and “she may beautify cleanse and heal her environs” like it was my special ability or gift I had.

#dreams

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rinnnyxr · 3 years

Text

[My Interests/Stuff you like] 01. Photographing my friends and me 02. Photographing nature, architecture, etc 03. Listening to music, loudly! 04. Playing games on the computer 05. Using the internet frequently 06. Making surveys 07. Filling out surveys 08. Updating my websites 09. Scrapbooking 010. Drawing and sketching 011. Painting 012. Making layouts for xanga or myspace 013. Changing my layouts for xanga or myspace 014. History 015. Reading 016. Talking on my mobile phone 017. Hanging out with friends 018. Going to town 019. Going to the cinema to see a movie 020. Eating out in restaurants 021. Tidying and cleaning 022. Makeup 023. Reading magazines 024. Science 025. Space 026. English literature 027. Art 028. Collecting random and useless things 029. Playing sports 030. Talking nonstop 031. Shopping for clothes 032. Shopping for other random things 033. Jewelry 034. Making jewelry 035. Showering/bathing 036. Spending time with my family 037. Watching TV 038. Watching movies 039. Shopping online 040. Walking 041. Church 042. Traveling 043. Eating 044. Alcohol 045. Smoking or drugs

047. Singing 048. Acting/drama 049. Using a video camera 050. Writing short stories 051. Writing novels 052. Writing poetry 053. Writing plays 054. Writing songs 055. Working 056. Studying 057. Building/making stuff 058. Knitting or sewing 059. Cooking 060. Climbing 061. Swimming 062. Sunbathing 063. Sleeping 064. Spending time with my boyfriend/girlfriend 065. Dreaming/daydreaming 066. Kissing 067. Going on dates 068. Having sex 069. Animals 070. Babysitting 071. Pampering myself 072. Ice cream

[Random Movies I have seen] 01. LOTR trilogy 02. All Harry Potter movies 03. Narnia 04. The Brothers Grimm 05. Sleepy Hollow 06. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back 07. The Matrix 08. Titanic 09. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 010. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 011. Edward Scissorhands 012. Shadowlands 013. Thirteen Ghosts 014. Troy 015. White Chicks 016. The Notebook 017. Sliding Doors 018. The Stepford Wives 019. As Good As It Gets 020. What Women Want 021. Walk The Line 022. Ghost 023. Romeo & Juliet 024. American Pie 025. Not Another Teen Movie 026. Date Movie 027. Meet The Fockers 028. Dodgeball 029. Corpse Bride 030. The Nightmare Before Christmas

[Music Genres I LOVE]

01.Bubblegum pop 02. General pop 03. Rock pop

04. Rock'n'Roll

05. Punk rock

06. Ska

07. Emo/Screamo 08. Thrash

09. Hardcore

010. Goth rock 011. Goth metal 012. Heavy metal 013. Industrial 014. Thrash metal

015. Death/black metal

016. Power metal

017. Symphonic metal

018. Folk

019. R'N'B

020. Hip Hop 021. Rap

022. Jungle

023. Garage

024. Dance/disco

025. Techno/house 026. New wave/80s 027. Jazz

028. Bluegrass

029. Classical

030. Opera

031. Musicals 032. Soundtracks

[I own/have] 01. An iPod 02. A digital camera 03. An ordinary camera 04. A portable CD player 05. A stereo 06. An MP3 player 07. A TV set 08. A VCR 09. A DVD player 010. A computer 011. A portable TV 012. A radio 013. A mobile phone 014. An alarm clock 015. A PlayStation 016. Any Sims game 017. An instrument 018. 50+ DVDs 019. 20+ Videos 020. 50+ CDs 021. 10+ Burnt CDs 022. 20+ Books 023. A dog 024. A cat 025. A rabbit 026. A horse 027. My own bathroom 028. Glasses/contacts 029. Braces 030. Jewelry

How much are you like me? Bold what you like/what applies to you. made by INFINITEmadesurveys - please keep the tag on!

Section one: television & movies. 1. CSI. 2. Friends. 3. King of Queens. 4. The Brendan Leonard Show. 5. Dawson’s Creek. 6. Fargo. 7. The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys. 8. Tru Confessions. 9. The Notebook. 10. A Walk To Remember.

Section two: food & drink. 1. Chicken caesar salad. 2. Spaghetti. 3. French fries and vinegar. 4. Cherry cheesecake. 5. Mashed potatoes. 6. Coffee. 7. Iced coffee. 8. Coca Cola. 9. Fuze: Banana Colada. 10. Canada Dry.

Section three: hobbies. 1. Survey making. 2. Video games. 3. Chatting on MSN. 4. Going for walks. 5. Cuddling. 6. Going for drives. 7. Shopping. 8. Writing. 9. Taking pictures. 10. Experimenting with cosmetics.

Section four: family and friends. 1. My parents are divorced. 2. I have two siblings. 3. I live on my own. 4. I own a cat and a dog. 5. I like my mom better than my dad. 6. I don’t have many friends, and I like it that way. 7. I mostly talk to my friends over the internet. 8. I have moved away from my hometown within the last 7 months. 9. I am in a relationship. 10. I have lost a lot of friendships due to travel.

Section five: I would rather… 1. Be alone than be in a large crowd. 2. Sit around lazily than be constantly busy. 3. Watch television than read a book. 4. Go to work than go to school. 5. Own a cat than own a dog. 6. Be inside than be outside. 7. Be in a relationship than be single. 8. Eat healthy than eat junk food. 9. Go swimming than go ice skating. 10. Wear my own style than wear styles in a magazine.

Section six: I prefer… 1. Coke to Pepsi. 2. Pools to lakes/beaches. 3. Nighttime to daytime. 4. Summer to winter. 5. Rock to rap. 6. Drama to action/adventure. 7. Facebook to MySpace. 8. MSN to AIM. 9. Bolding surveys to question surveys. 10. Color to black and white.

Zeus / Jupiter [] You are a natural leader. [] You are interested in meteorology. [] You would love to be able to fly. [] You’re not afraid of / you love thunderstorms. [] The ability to control air and electricity is appealing to you. [] Eagles are among your favorite animals. [] You get angry when people ignore you or don’t listen to you. [] Pride is one of your biggest flaws. [] You can sometimes be a bit over-dramatic. [] Even though you try to be fair, you sometimes come off as hypocritical. 5/10

Poseidon / Neptune [] Swimming and / or canoeing are among your favorite things to do. [] you love taking trips to the beach. [] You get along well with horses, or you love them. [] You have often wished for the power to breathe underwater. [] The ability to control water sounds awesome. [] Your loyalty to the ones you love is your weakness. [] You can be a bit moody and temperamental at times. [] You are interested in seismology or marine biology. [] Dolphins and sharks are your favorite animals (or one of your favorite animals). [] You have an overall caring personality. 8/10

Hades / Pluto [] You tend to make people feel nervous around you. [] You are interested in Geology or Forensic Science. [] You sometimes feel a bit lonely. [] Your weakness is that you tend to hold grudges. [] Most people don’t see your kinder side because you hide it by being cold. [] You crave power over darkness and the dead. [] You are drawn to gemstones and precious metals. [] When you are in a relationship, you are deeply devoted to that person. [] You often feel like you don’t belong in the group. [] You can be quite cynical at times. 6/10

Athena / Minerva [] You value intelligence and wit highly. [] It is a bad idea to get in your way, because you will never give up until you are finished. [] You prefer to think things through, rather than start working on a problem immediately. [] You tend to let logic get in the way of your emotions. [] Owls are among your favorite animals. [] You like sewing, crocheting, and other types of arts and crafts. [] you are interested in architecture. [] You don’t like the idea of someone else being better at something than you. [] You usually regret losing your temper after you see the damage. [] You have arachnophobia. 4/10

Ares / Mars [] You pick fights with other people a lot. [] Dogs or wolves are your favorite animals. [] You like learning about different types of weapons and famous wars. [] With a few exceptions, people generally don’t like you. [] If you had a power, it would be to have the best fighting abilities ever. [] You have a short temper. [] You charge into situations without thinking things through. [] You love playing first-person shooter games like Call of Duty and Halo. [] You love violence in general. [] You are brave and very protective of your friends. 3/10

Hermes / Mercury [] You have always wanted to / you love to travel. [] You love playing pranks. [] You can be very sneaky. [] You try to help other people a lot. [] You are pretty accepting of others. [] You’re good at using phones and the internet. [] You’ve been known to try all kinds of things. [] You often rely on your sixth sense or intuition. [] If you wanted to, you could steal something without people noticing. [] You love watching sports competitions or even participating. 6/10

Aphrodite / Venus [] People have told you that they think you are beautiful / handsome. [] You are good at convincing people to do things. [] You can read relationships very well. [] You believe in spreading love (not necessarily romantic) and beauty. [] You can speak French. [] You can see possibilities more clearly than other people. [] You like pretty things. [] You may have been described as a “girly girl” or in a boy’s case, “cute” or “hot”. [] People sometimes underestimate you. 5/10

Hephaestus / Vulcan [] You are good with your hands. [] You like tinkering with things. [] You prefer inanimate objects over human company. [] You wish you had the power to summon and control fire. [] You fiddle with things in your hands when you are nervous. [] You have built a robot or some sort of contraption before. [] You tend to fall in love with people who you feel are too good for you. [] You are afraid of heights. [] You have a bit of an inferiority complex. [] You love creating things. 5/10

Apollo [] You love sunbathing. [] You like archery and / or are very good at it. [] You like writing poetry and / or songs. [] You know how to give first aid. [] You are good at anything involving launching projectiles (i.e. basketball). [] You can play an instrument. [] You are afraid of the dark. [] You sometimes have premonitions about things that are going to happen. [] Sometimes you can be a bit of a flirt. [] you have sharp senses. 2/10

Demeter / Ceres [] You like gardening. [] You would love to have the power to control plants. [] You can be a bit bossy at times. [] You argue with other people a lot. [] You love flowers. [] You are passionate about nature conservation. [] You eat a lot of grain products. [] Poppies are one of your favorite flowers. [] Geckos or snakes are your favorite animals. [] You feel an unusual sadness as summer changes to fall and then to winter. 2/10

Dionysus / Bacchus [] You’re a real party animal. [] You like grapes / grape juice / wine / kool aid / diet coke / diet pepsi. [] You love the theater. [] You think leopards are the coolest animals ever. [] If you could have any power, it would be to literally drive people insane. [] You become a bit hyperactive when you’ve had too much of your favorite drink. [] You like playing Pac-Man. [] You believe that a REAL party is an extravagant one. [] You hate being restricted in any way. [] Sometimes you tend to go overboard when you are planning things. 2/10

You are: Poseidon / Neptune.

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lost-villager · 7 years

Audio

Fakear

Upbeat sounds, danceable, positive mixing with a future sound. I could be tempted to swing by and see this act. What are your thoughts?

Bio: Fakear is Theo Le Vigoreux – an uncannily suitable name for a young producer whose energy is seemingly limitless. At 24 years old, Fakear has already taken his globally-tuned dance music across the world, playing shows from London to Tokyo, supporting Bonobo and selling out Paris’ prestigious Olympia in 2015.

The journey that’s led to 2016 and his debut album, Animal, has been three years and 4 EPs long. One of them reached the top 10 in France, and his music has drawn the attention of MIA, Annie Mac, The FADER and ODESZA – one of many peers who’ve asked Fakear for remixes.But the real journey, of course, goes further back. Le Vigoreux was born in Caen, Calvados, Normandy – an ancient part of France, and the same place William the Conqueror came from.

His parents were musicians too, and they raised him on a steady diet of of Maurice Ravel symphonies, and songs by Ismael Lo and Cheb Mami. By the time he got to high school, he was listening avidly to Daft Punk, and had obtained an electric guitar. Before long he’d joined a ska-punk band with Gabriel Legeleux, who’d go on to become fellow rising star in French electronic music, Superpoze.By 2013, he’d kindled a buzz in Cargo de Caen, creating a reputation under the name of Fakear (“Fake Ears” in English.) His electronic collages were inspired by influences as divergent but inspiring as the post-dubstep scene in London, and the films of Miyazaki.

He found his way to Paris, where he signed with the independent French music label Nowadays Records, and released the EP Sauvage in June 2014. Subsequent single “La Lune Rousse” gained millions of listeners across Spotify, Soundcloud and French radio, and this helped him to debut on the international level. A few months later, his musical voyage led to Japan, and rumination on his childhood’s ghosts changed his art’s inception deeply. “This Country gave me a finer desire for music, and a greater attention to detail,” he told Canal + around the launch of his EP ‘Asakusa.’ “It has been a personal and musical stage that I exceeded.

All my pieces are like that: the pictures of my sensations and of my imagination in a precise moment. I am not the same as yesterday, and not the same as tomorrow”.In 2015 he decided to take a break from the Parisian metropolis, and moved to the mountains. “I needed it, to seize a new primary “something”, something wild and authentic”. It was in this new setting that Fakear crafted his debut album Animal. The album title recalls the wolf silhouette that he has tattooed on his forearm. Chez Fakear, the machines never filter the instincts. Instead, they are amplified.

Animal ranges from the flamenco refrain of “Sheer-Khan”, through the original composition with Andreya Triana (Bonobo) on “Light Bullet,” to two stunning collaborations with Rae Morris, a new pop star in-the-making with whom Fakear maintains an elegant complicity.Throughout the album, Fakear ensured that his electronic methodology enhanced, rather than limited his raw instinct.

He built sounds from memories and from talismanic items; The result is an album as suited to the dance floor as it to listening under the stars, or in the moonlight of the “Lune Rousse”. In the studio as on the boards, Fakear’s music is lively, incarnated and instinctive. Definitively Animal.

#SoundCloud #music #Fakear #free #mixtape #vegetal #electro

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captawesomesauce · 7 years

Text

Music thoughts at 1130am

This is a repeat of a thought I’ve had before, but I keep having it, so you’re gonna keep reading it every time it bangs around in my head.

Yesterday I was sitting at the Costco gas line, cars all around me, and I was struck by this recurring thought.

You have to understand, at 2pm on a Thursday in the Valley, the median age of the drivers around me was around 45+, all upper scale vehicles, bmws, caddis, porshe, tons of suv's mixed with little fancy sports cars. But what caught my eye was that the guy who was pumping gas in front of me was about 55 minimum, and was wearing a Descendants T-shirt!

Looking over to my right, the "older woman" in her fancy Audi was playing Social Distortion.

And there I was, in my SUV, patiently waiting my turn while pumping up the volume to Tool.

"Because this is the music Mommies and Daddies listen to!"

That line rattles around in my head so much because it still comes as such a surprise that my generation never had the culture shock every previous one did. We missed out on that feeling of the next generations music being nothing but rabble and noise!

My father listened to old country, my mother was a Neil Diamond fan. My grandparents listened to big band and klezmer music.

Each generation hated their kids music. And god do my parents hate mine! They couldn't stand Husker Du, they had no patience for Front 242, and god help them if I was playing KMFDM or in the mood for some Ministry! Even stuff like the Cure or ska bands like the Specials was too much for them!

But no, we didn't get that. Todays music sounds just like the music I grew up with. Protopunk, punk, hardcore, industrial, alternative, grunge... the 70s, 80s, 90s... music changed and formed then... it was so radically different - louder, heavier, angrier than what was found in the 50's and 60s... but since... ? Has anything come along that would give me the same sensation of being out of touch, being passed by, being unable to "get it" the way my parents and grandparents and so many successive generations experience?

I mean, the top 5 songs on KROQ right now are by the Lumineers, Imagine Dragons, Coldplay, Kaleo, and 21 pilots. (http://kroq.cbslocal.com/2017/03/09/new-music-from-dreamcar-and-lorde-added-to-kroq-playlist/)

.... Yeah.

Somehow music hit the 00s and then just hit a weird morass it has yet to be able to pull itself out of.

#thoughts

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weliketheiroldstuff · 5 years

Text

Sublime with Rome, SOJA and more at Freedom Hill was a clambake and hotbox rolled into one sweaty smokey show

Arrived right as the show started so knowing how humid Michigan is it seemed to make perfect sense to chill in the car for a bit then get in during intermission between the first and second bands but I fucked up and got in right before SOJA. Its not even drizzling, its more like someone spitting random big drops of rain every few minutes.

I wish I was as high as this chick at the table next to me. Who was just saying she thought she was ripping her cbd pen but it was her weed pen and now shes way too fucked up. It becomes obvious when she warns people about using too much mustard on their pretzels from a good 20 feet away. Don’t get me wrong, I love that weed is legal now but pull it together when not hidden in a sea of people.

And fuck, I left the bugspray at home again... but it has cooled off and compared to yesterday’s Dirty Heads/311 show, im feeling much better about the humidity dropping drastically.

SOJA came out and immediately I smelled some skunky fucking weed. I wish so bad it was mine. Alas I will be hitting my vape pen on the walk to Sublime. I got a "I like your shirt" from bass player (insert name here) as I am wearing my Selena x Andy Warhol. Fuck. I honestly feel like I should just be in this world. I feel so comfortable in this photo pit with this band and this music and the fans. Now I'm kinda pissed I'm not able to watch the rest of their set. My cousin is in town from SF and we should be high as fuck grooving to this shit together.

This fucking band can jam. Holy shit. How is there not a late night stoner TV show they can be the Roots to say Dabbing Grandma's Jimmy Fallon? They can shred riffs and solos. Horn and woodwind solos and never mind the percussion in this band. Fuck me, their records don't do them justice. It's not to say their records aren't fanfuckingtastic, it's just their live show is something any reggae or ska fan should see. This is straight up beach party music with excellent musicianship that could border on progressive reggae? SOJA is fucking incredible and their creative energy flows from the stage like cathartic bolts of aural energy stimulating the stoned out Michigan crowd. Mind you this is the first summer of legal recreational weed, everyone is high as fuck.

Sublime with Rome was all nostalgia from the get. The three in the photo pit made 8th grade Sherburt fucking lose it in my soul. The first being the first song I’ve seen played live after I remixed it as a music producer years ago “Smoke 2 Joints”. As if the skunky stank had not even been lit yet, all of a sudden an absolute shit ton of stinky stinkerifius was lit and if this shit was a fucking movie, people would have contact highs before the end of the first song.

Earlier I heard a security guard say to a fan “You just can’t smoke it on the rail, go back into the crowd and light it, we’re only told to instruct you to smoke away from the rail tonight”. To the fan who was complaining “But it is completely legal I’m standing here drinking a beer but I can’t smoke this” I fucking cheers you my man.

Sublime continued with "Date Rape” and elevated the tempo even more. I’m just gonna say this, everyone has to be at least a little high by the time I’m walking out of the pit. During S2J I most definitely used the gaps in lighting to hit my pen and enjoy a pretty rad experience. I went back to the Jeep and as I sat down, I smoked a fat ass honker with the windows down and listened them play April 29, 1992 (Miami) and I’m literally just sitting in a damp basement ripping bongers of shitty brick Mexican weed and somehow getting annihilated while listening to this shit. I get that it’s not Bradley but Rome does such a god damn great job of singing Bradley’s shit, and then you add on the original material stands alone too. I’m so thankful Sublime with Rome had me out to shoot and document my time. My apologies to Common Kings and Seranation for my tardiness and missing your sets. I can say that Common Kings sounded great from the lot while I smoked a number before entering the ampitheater. Be responsible kids and listen to reggae, ska, punk, and smoke all the fucking weed you can because this life deserves to be hazy baby! Check out the photos below and hit up the social links below to follow us across the internet.

www.instagram.com/iliketheiroldstuff www.instagram.com/sherburtphoto www.twitter.com/oldstuffmedia www.twitter.com/sherburtphoto weliketheiroldstuff.tumblr.com

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pandajames59-blog · 5 years

Text

Voynov Should Not Return to the NHL

For years we have read or heard the phrase, “sports is my escape from the real world.” For many sports fans watching it, reading about it, writing about it or listening to sports talk radio is a nice reprieve from the office or life in general.

It still is that way for many people, and it should be. Being a fan is supposed to be fun, but sometimes it can be equally frustrating depending on the direction of the team you cheer for.

However, I believe we can’t completely separate sports from the real world anymore.

Sports is one of the few things that unites people from all walks of life. If you are an Edmonton Oilers fan it doesn’t matter what your job is, your ethnicity or your gender. You all cheer together. Look at the diversity of fans who congregate at Jurassic Park for a Toronto Raptors playoff game. Watch them erupt in joyous unison after a clutch shot. While racism still exists in our society, sporting events often show people of different colour hugging, smiling and enjoying the journey together.

It is wonderful.

However, sports, and how they are covered has opened up opportunities where real life and sports need to intersect.

One of those examples is former NHL defenceman Vyacheslav Voynov.

Yesterday arbitrator Shyam Das upheld NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman’s decision that Voynov should be suspended for the equivalent of one NHL season, but Das found Voynov should be credited with having already served 41 games of the suspension last season. So Voynov will be eligible to return midway through next season.

The Los Angeles Kings own his rights and sent out a press release soon after Das’ ruling was announced.

“Today the NHL arbitrator rendered a final decision on further discipline to Slava Voynov. From our perspective, the player will not be playing for the Kings. We will now determine the impact of the arbitrator’s decision on our rights to the player and consider our options going forward.”

Voynov won’t be playing for the Kings, but will another NHL team acquire his rights and sign him to an NHL contract?

Before we discuss that, let’s look at the situation that led to Voynov being suspended by the NHL in 2014 for domestic abuse.

Voynov spent almost two months in jail after pleading no contest to corporal injury against a spouse. Upon his release from jail he was taken into custody by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, but rather than attend immigration proceedings he elected to return to Russia. He played three seasons for the KHL’s St. Petersburg’s SKA. Last year he didn’t play anywhere as he sat out his suspension.

Reading he plead no contest and went to jail is one thing. Reading what he did to get put in jail is much different.

Katie Strang outlined the viciousness of Voynov’s attack on his then-girlfriend, now wife, Marta Varlamov in an outstanding article for the Athletic last June. You can read the entire piece here. I urge you to read it. It is wonderful journalism, but also heart-breakingly painful to read how awful one human could treat another.

A few lines really stood out to me.

“A statement included within that report states that, while attending a team Halloween party, the two began arguing, during which Voynov removed [Varlamova’s] costume glasses and stomped on them in front of the guests. When they continued arguing outside the venue, Voynov “punched her in the left jaw with a closed fist.”

Strang continued to outline what the police report said.

The two returned home and their argument continued. “Voynov wrapped both of his hands around Ms. Varlamova’s neck and began to squeeze, making it difficult for her to breathe.” Voynov, according to the motion, “continued to choke her while repeatedly pushing her to the floor of the bedroom,” telling her to “get out,” that there would be “no more money for her,” and that she would be “gone.”

According to the motion, Voynov then “kicked her five or six times all over her body” and when she attempted to stand he “pushed her down directly into the bottom corner of the flat screen television that was mounted to the bedroom wall.” Varlamova sustained “a head laceration that resulted in severe bleeding” and throughout all of this “she repeatedly screamed for him to stop.”

Strang obtained 911 transcripts of a call from a neighbour worried about a women screaming and not being treated well.

I encourage you read the entire story.

Even in 2019 when we are a bit more open to discuss domestic or sexual abuse than previous generations, when you read the details of what Voynov did it is much worse than the picture most of us have in our minds when we think what abuse looks like. I believe if you’ve never beaten your child or spouse (man or woman), or been a victim of abuse, it is hard to truly imagine what abuse really looks like.

It is demeaning. It is dangerous. It is ugly. And it is fucking deplorable.

But sadly, it still occurs far too often. Children are abused. Women are abused. Men are abused. The elderly are abused. No group is immune to it.

While men are still more likely to be the abuser, there are many cases of women abusing their partners or spouses.

If we never discuss it, I doubt it will diminish.

It is an uncomfortable discussion and there are many aspects to consider.

Voynov’s case is in the spotlight, and NHL fans can’t just ignore it.

Some don’t want to talk about it. Some feel it isn’t their business, that it is between Voynov and his wife.

I respect that, but I think it is worthy of discussion.

If we want change in society, then we have to discuss uncomfortable things.

Reading what Voynov did to Varlamova made me sick. I can’t imagine punching someone you love in the face. Or choking them, or kicking them repeatedly. And the scary thing is it wasn’t the first time. He not only felt it was okay to physically abuse her, he felt it was okay to do it repeatedly according to witness testimony.

But Voynov is far the only abuser in the sporting world. The statistics tell us there are likely abusers among fans, bloggers, media, players, and NHL staff. We don’t want to think about it, but we shouldn’t pretend those people don’t exist.

It is an epidemic in society that needs to stop, and if the sporting world has to be the leader, then so be it. We should welcome the responsibility.

The Los Angeles Kings said they will not sign Voynov. Will another team trade for his rights this summer?

Yesterday on Twitter I asked people a trio of questions.

Has Voynov been punished enough for abuse? Does he deserve a second chance? Would you be okay if your NHL team signed him?

The results had no middle ground. You either thought yes, he deserves a second chance, or you were adamant no NHL team should sign him.

I believe in second chances, but the person has to show remorse, and also prove they have changed. How much therapy has he done? Did he go with his wife? Has he spoke publicly about what he learned and how he has changed. For me, it couldn’t just be a blind “he deserves a second chance.”

If a team signs him they better have a good PR plan of how this will work, because there will be a backlash, and rightfully so.

Voynov hasn’t played in the NHL for essentially five seasons. He played six games in 2014/2015, before the aforementioned attack occurred. But after he spent almost two months in jail, he has worked. He was employed by the KHL. He was given a second chance and he made a good living doing so.

Does the NHL owe him a second chance?

If I was a owner of an NHL team I would not sign him.

It is my business and as a business owner you have the right to choose who you employ. It would send a strong message to your staff, players and fans that you don’t condone abuse.

Companies outside the sporting world do this. They have a code of conduct, and if you don’t adhere to it, you won’t work there anymore.

Why can’t NHL teams have the same?

They should simply take a stand and say we won’t employ people who abuse their spouse or children.

If you choose to abuse someone to the despicable level that Voynov did then you won’t be employed by our team any longer or in the future.

It is very straightforward.

And this isn’t about past cases. What happened in the past is irrelevant to me. I don’t care what discipline the NHL handed out in the 1980s, 1990s or even in 2010

Just like the rules have changed and evolved on the ice, it is time the NHL evolves and changes off of the ice.

I don’t believe in 2019 we should say, “stick to sports.”

Professional sports are one of the most followed activities in the world. People of all ages, races and walks of life follow it closely.

If the NHL takes a hard stand against domestic abuse, maybe it will make someone think twice about abusing someone in the future.

Maybe it won’t stop them, but at least the NHL will have created a new code of conduct.

I hope Voynov and his family find forgiveness for each other. I have a lot of empathy for his family and I hope he has stopped abusing his wife.

But I wouldn’t have him on my team. I wonder how many owners and GMs will feel the same?

Source: https://oilersnation.com/2019/05/24/voynov-should-not-return-to-the-nhl/

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