#i was pretty sure i was gonna die of covid

[cherrysnax]

trying not to post too much during the strike to keep focus on Everything but I need to get out of my head a lil

#took a gap year because school was killing me #then the year I wanted to go to college covid started and then since then I’ve been rotting in my room becoming more and more disabled #it’s. #going to be scary this year trying to undo all the damage and anxiety #meeting new people #trying to really act like a 23 year old #being a freshman in college at 23 was never my plan but I thought I was going to die at 19 #things have changed. I.. left a lot of people behind due to that thinking #and undiagnosed bpd #and it sucks. I keep having dreams abt hs and realizing that I was never alone #and im not alone now even though sometimes it feels like it #im taking my health into my own hands and actually trying to live instead of watching my life go by and it’s weird taking a front seat again #not in the did sense. I’ve had a pretty tight rein on the front for the last few years #but. im trying to be a person again. seeing myself as a person again #I uh. am 99 percent sure I have nerve damage. I have to talk to my pcp about it next time after the next few tests I take #and um wow. it really affects my hands and fingers #and as you all know me and my butch have a comic we’re working on together #I see as you know like ppl r actually gonna read this lmao fhdha well besides you. 👁️👁️ #jk sorry it that triggered anyone’s paranoia im just sillay. but yeah I uh #never have worked on something this long and this hard before PAUSE. And uh it means a lot to the both of us. we have so many comic ideas #but so far sys! is the one nearest and dearest to my heart and the idea that I won’t be able to draw it after spending years practicing #to get better and better uh hurts. I’d uh rather be in pain making the comic than live never making it #but it’s not just abt me in the end isn’t it. I miss people I used to know #random thought sorry. accidentally found someone I used to know in the wild and then it clicked after I followed them. felt like it would #be weird to take it back so now im just hoping im not recognized mostly out of. shame I guess. idk. I don’t remember things well #memory problems + bpd lying to me yknow. but uh. idk maybe these dreams and these feelings mean that in order to reach my dreams I have to l #like. honour the weird kid that I was and by doing that #I have to acknowledge that shit I abandoned everyone before they could abandon me. and maybe that’s just how I see it now #maybe no one actually gave a shit and I just faded out of existence for fun but avoiding things is how I ended up perpetually in my bedroom #barely able to stand and very scared of the world. how I ended up not improving at art for years because I was to scared to something difrnt

[drdemonprince]

I deeply agree that weve got to meet people where they are at, and that there are multiple factors to consider in a masking situation. But I’m gonna be real as someone who was deeply disabled by covid something still urks me about the way people have been discussing covid protection with you. It is all so overwhelmingly from the perspective of someone not sick. It’s all about how one made the choice to not mask in certain situations and how doing otherwise would ruin ones life, and that’s like, sure, makes sense. But I don’t get that choice. That choice was taken away from me. And I am not making a ill-informed strategic decision in shaming others, I simply have no empathy for the hurt feelings of the people who put me on my deathbed, to be quite fucking honest. I am all for strategic discussions but I am not here to be tone policed by people talking about their choices that I don’t even get to take, sitting here struggling to even type.

Thanks for sharing this. One of the big tension points with COVID is that the target behaviors that need to be changed are located within people who are, statistically, not the most vulnerable -- and so, on a tactical level, we are tasked with extending compassion and aid to people who might not show the same consideration to us as disabled people, if we want to be safe.

As HIV spread throughout queer, sex worker, and intraveneous drug user communities, it was often these very communities that organized in order to influence behavioral change within their own ranks. Gay bars handed out condoms to gay men. Gay sex clubs facilitated fisting nights so people could have safer sex. Needle exchanges run by current and former drug users helped keep drug users safe. The people most likely to be infected were also the people whose behavior could be positively influenced to protect them, and thus protect the community as a whole.

That's not quite the calculus here. In order to protect disabled and high-risk people, we need EVERYONE to be on the same page with regard to COVID mitigation strategies. We need people who are not themselves high risk to mask, test, get vaccinnated, improve ventilation in their homes, etc.

Now, many of these "low risk" people are not actually low risk; the data is pretty abundant at this point that it is in actuality quite hard to pin down who will develop long COVID and who will not, it can happen to just about anyone. And indeed, even many people who know themselves to be high risk are still taking significant risks regarding COVID right now -- because they are forced to go to work in kitchens and grocery stores and live with roommates who travel and etc or because they are so filled with despair they are risk resigned.

So trying to demarcate who is a disempowered victim here and who is an inconsiderate abled person is not actually so easy -- we must resist the urge that has been drilled into us to issue moral judgements about whom is righteous and whom is deserving of suffering. That is not a disability justice politic. No one deserves long covid, no one deserves to die, no one deserves to overdose, no one deserves to get AIDS, no one deserves to perish because they could not handle the loneliness of social isolation either. We must believe that all disabilities are legitimate and in need of accommodation here, and that includes mental ones that make strict mitigation adherence hard for some. (hello, hi, i have crazy risk-taking brain disease, and even so i care about COVID mitigation, and i need community care too).

EVEN SO, it is undeniably true what you are saying, that we are focusing more on the actions and choices and hang ups of the people who have some freedom to choose, and not the people who have been at home for years at this point, completely isolated, because they are high risk or disabled by COVID already.

I would always caution people to remember that there very much are folks who are high risk and have long COVID who are still forced by economic circumstances out into public life every single day. so we can't equate who is at home and who is out in public taking risk with how disabled or sick someone is. But still, I digress, and on the whole you are right, we are concerning ourselves with people who have the freedom to choose how they respond to COVID, and doesn't that seem unfair?

Sure it's unfair! But the people who have the ability to choose how they respond to COVID risk are the exact people whose behavior we are trying to influence here! We want more people to mask, get tested, get vaccinated, socialize outdoors, etc. And so we do have to put considerable resources and messaging into reaching those people and influencing their behavior if we wish to protect disabled and high risk people.

Someone has to do the work of listening to their concerns, educating them, validating their feelings, giving them access to masks and tests, and removing barriers to them taking those kinds of desired actions. a LOT of people have to do that work. You don't have to do that work as someone who is chronically ill, but I'm gonna do it. and I wish more of my comrades would join me in it, for your sake too! We need to be doing the footwork of getting all your neighbors masking so that it is safe for you to go outside!

We also DO want to protect those people who are taking big risks. Their lives do matter just as much to me. Many of the people who are disabled with long COVID were them once. The fact that someone takes a risk does not mean they deserve to get sick and die. Again that is a fundamental cornerstone of a disability justice politic.

But yes, I hear you, it's annoying from where you are sitting to have to hear people who get to out in public and take big risks complaining about how they are sad when they get criticized. You don't have to listen to these conversations. It shouldn't be your job to hold those conversations. But they do need to happen.

[misc-obeyme]

simeon having had exposure to small pox in a way that it exists in his system but as an angel his immune system never paid it any mind then he turns human and mc has to pull up to the doctors office w him asap like 'hey yknow that vaccine we havent really had to use in decades since the disease was eradicated? yeah break that bad boy out. also we need appointments for everything else' and when the doctors are like 'why is this grown man not vaccinated against anything and also how is he still alive????' mc gets to go 'whackjob asshole father' (in this house we talk shit about om god)

Yessssss because OM god is the WORST and I am ALWAYS good with shit talking that guy.

Ahhh poor Simeon, I imagine him being his usual calm and smiling self while on the inside he's freaking out like am I gonna die!?

Meanwhile, MC is trying to figure out what to put on his new patient paperwork. They're gonna have to come up with a believable year for his birthday on the spot. And I suppose they could just say he has no history of illness in his family at all, which would technically be true? MC's like okay no medications, pretty sure Simeon doesn't smoke, uh... and then they'd have to ask. Hey Simeon, are you sexually active? I gotta know for the papers.

And Simeon's just like excuse you?? (Unless MC already knows the answer to this question tee hee...)

Do they even make the small pox vaccine anymore?? I have no idea, to be honest with you. Gonna need a TDAP and whatever they call the ones for measles & mumps... the dr's like... uhhh does he want the COVID vaccine too? Simeon's not going to understand the political nonsense behind that question, so he just goes with whatever MC suggests. Do they still do the polio vaccine?? I'm not sure about that one, either, but he might need that, too.

I think there may be some time in between things like I think TDAP has two shots? He might have to go back for a second round on some of them. I don't know if you can even get them all at once. Also if he's already got the diseases would it be too late?? I really don't know lol.

I like to think that he managed to survive, even if it was a trial by fire, through the help of MC and the miracle of modern medicine. What a way to welcome him to his new human life!

#I don't remember getting sick for any vaccine other than COVID #which took me out for a couple days #but if Simeon has to deal with any such symptoms #you know MC will be there to take care of him #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me simeon #anon asks #misc answers #spoilers #obey me spoilers

[cryptotheism]

why did desperate acts of capitalism die?

Largely bc of COVID. That podcast was a SHITLOAD of work for just me and evan to run even with an editor.

Like, I'm a professional writer. I shitpost to drum up interest, but on my Patreon I'm cranking out 500-2000 words a day. I can only generate so many words in one week.

Each script for DAOC was roughly 4000 words, largely shit copy-pasted from articles or analysis from other sources, but we did a lot of work to string it all together nice. Plus you want the research to be good!

Writing an episode was a whole day out of my workweek. Recording often took place in the evenings after I'd finished that days writing, where I would essentially have to go be on stage for an hour and a half. It's not like streaming where the vibe is more casual, there's a degree of comedic professionalism you want for an hour of recorded, edited content. Like, this is something that's gonna be up forever, people are gonna come back to it, you want to make sure it's good.

Evan and I were already both in the middle of pretty significant life events towards the end of the pod, and then COVID hit, and it just became too difficult to keep going.

There is a sort of spiritual successor in the works though.

[cloudninetonine]

Linktober: Battle

When it came to the fighting you weren’t so sure of yourself.

Training with Warriors and Sky certainly did help, that wasn’t a lie and while you weren’t an expert swordsman nor fighter you knew enough to keep yourself safe and fuck up monsters that got too close.

But it still terrified you, the thought of dying impaled by a sword, or torn to shreds by razor-sharp teeth, maybe even being poisoned by the more magic-inclined creatures that you avoided like Covid, letting the others with more experiences deal with them.

But sometimes life couldn’t go your way, so now you were such fighting a fire wizzrobe.

A terrifying experience in reality, compared to that of your switch screen, able to one hit them with the opposite of their element but you had nothing in that moment, only your sword and shield as you deflected fire orbs and tried to at least swipe it.

But alas, you were still very shit at combat with sorcery.

Would this be your demise?

Your hands shook at the thought, your moment of weakness leading to you falling back onto the grass, your shield laying too far to reach with only your sword for protection as the dastardly thing cackled, dancing above you menacingly with his wand glowing from an orange to blue witch more powerful magic.

This thing was about to kill you.

“I’m gonna die…” You were gonna die, you were going to die- you were about to be murdered-

Not even a second later a cool feeling went through the area, magic shooting from somewhere behind you, casting around the wizzrobe within a second and dropping its frozen body onto the dirt. It shattered into tiny pieces, its still petrified face spread across the floor similar to a newly opened puzzle piece before it burst into its usual purple smoke and left behind its meteor rod.

You finally sucked in a breath when hands came to clutch at your shoulders, turning you towards your savior and his frantic calls of your name.

“-you okay? Speak to me.” Legend’s hands were soft against your scratched-up cheek, looking over you worriedly before meeting your eyes. “You don’t look hurt- anything broken? Do I need to call the traveller over?”

It was funny how time and communication could affect a relationship, the past few months travelling with the boys, the Vet had made sure that you knew he despised you, your very existence was a nuisance to him- for good reason (in your eyes at least, your appearance and sudden closeness with members of the group was pretty suspicious) and you knew it was gonna be hard to befriend him.

But…you did it.

And now you were here.

“I…” You choked on a whimper, hands shaking as you grasped his, his fingers protectively wrapping around your own to squeeze. “I’m fine just- scarred.”

The way he softened made you tear up, water falling down your face as the adrenaline still coursed through you, body shivers having you lean into his warmth with his hand gently coming to hold your head to his chest.

“You’re okay.” You were, weren’t you? You were okay now, there wasn’t anything else, not here with him holding you so protectively like this, being your lifeline in these very traumatising few moments that seemed to last forever. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

A call came from nearby, of his name and yours, but you whimpered in protest when he went to move. “We have to go back to them.”

“Please, not yet, just-” When his hand moved you panicked, pulling away to beg in that moment of fear and hysterics, only to see him pull off a ring, the band of gold encrusted with a jewel of red glistening in the afternoon sun as he grasped your hand, gently moving it along a finger until it rested safely on the digit, hugging it perfectly. “Link…?”

His head grew pink like the streaks in his hair, already nearly faded but some locks still going strong. “It’s one of my more powerful protection rings, I- …you should keep it.”

You gaped before your lips upturned into a smile. “Thank you, Link.”

Legend’s hand gently came to intertwine with yours as he tugged you back to your feet. “Now let us return-”

Pressing the softest of kisses to the edge of his lips, you smiled. “Yeah, okay.”

Tomatoes would have been jealous of the shade of red he turned.

#Linktober #Linktober 2022 #linked universe #linked universe x reader #linked universe imagine #lu #player au #a player's aid #lu Legend #lu Legend x reader

[mlobsters]

supernatural s15e19 inherit the earth (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)

i'm not sure i want to watch this, actually. all right, next day. let's see. combination of not wanting to watch them grieve cas after that weird reaction i had to 15x18 plus feeling like writing anything about spn is completely pointless. power through

covid lockdown-era city views, along with the akf/always keep fighting on the tower and the actual coke ad about social distancing "staying apart is the best way to stay united" well this is not helping my mental state and also presents confusing idea that this universe was affected by covid, which it obviously isn't. along with everyone being raptured

SAM I did this. We could have just given Chuck what he wanted, you know, his grand finale. But I resisted. I pulled the thread. I thought we could beat this game, do it better. We tried to rewrite him, and the whole world paid the price.

taking a moment to address the absurdity that chuck's being such a brat over the fact that the brothers won't kill each other he's gonna rapture the entire earth

CHUCK I mean, picture it. The two of you... And your little lapdog Jack... Rotting on a lifeless planet, knowing it's this way because you wouldn't take a knee. Eternal shame, suffering, and loneliness. Whew! That's deep. That's sophisticated. That's a page-turner.

it is something

little schmaltzy but i'll take it. ah, well. for 30 seconds at least. i know he comes back though so it's all good

very pretty lighting

i think it's been long enough i don't care about the endless reasons to get pellegrino back on the show and i'm just happy to see him and his overflowing charisma

LUCIFER Mm. Yeah. Alright, team. I don't want to bring ants to your picnic, but that ain't gonna cut it. Okay, think about it. If the Empty pulled me off the bench, it's 'cause the Winchester charm ain't enough, right?

harsh but fair

LOL new death, dead death, lucifer actually working with chuck, dead lucifer. we're making it snappy, folks

haha and now michael was working with chuck too and he's dead. this is sure something

gotta get them covered in blood and beaten to a pulp for old times' sake

okie doke. they figured out the michael business, jack is a power vacuum, sure. we gotta wrap this up, fellas

haha makes me think of this 1998 merlin miniseries with sam neill when they all turn their back on queen mab and she loses her powers because everyone forgets about her

SAM Then I think it's the ending where you're just like us and like all the other humans you forgot about. DEAN It's the ending where you grow old, you get sick, and you just die. SAM And no one cares. And no one remembers you. You're just forgotten.

i think about it a lot so i made some gifs a while back 😂

all right. de-raptured and people indoors

not sure how i feel about this whole speech from jack about how he's gonna be as new god and basically around but not around. sucks they semi-lost their kid too

SAM You know, with Chuck not writing our story anymore, we get to write our own. You know, just you and me going wherever the story takes us. Just us. DEAN Finally, free.

kind of surprised this wasn't the finale honestly, especially with that montage that managed to get me crying.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 15x19 #eugenie ross leming #brad buckner

[sehunniepotwrites]

NIKKI YOUR TEASER 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 icb i opened the app to this 🤩 i can't wait to read all that u have in your drafts fr but goodness me jae's one sided love rly hits differently 🫢 sometimes i just wonder if he's the kind to uk approach his feelings for s/o proactively or keep it lowkey and just be the kind to take care of them from the side esp in these situations where he knows it's one sided 🧐

and r u feeling better now? gosh it's so uncomfy to be sick and i absolutely dislike being sick :"( please remember to rest well and take care of urself!! there's a whole new wave of covid cases on the rise where i am recently and im tryna avoid the crowds as much as possible considering ive already had covid 3 times 🤡🤡🤡 covid surely loves me more than life does 😕

omy masters is definitely a goal of mine that i'd love to achieve especially before i have kids! can't imagine having to take care of my children while doing masters fr it's going to be so tiring!! 🫣 but i guess i'll take it step by step and see where life takes me! especially cuz financially, masters is gonna take up a bulk of my pay esp as a fresh grad in the industry, so i shall see how i can plan my route out! hehehehe

oh oh do you have any recos for fics these days? i've exhausted my list of stuff to read and shows to watch lately 🥲 so commuting arnd has been kinda boring hehehe

hope this week will be an enjoyable week for u!!!!

love, 🍑

HEHEHEHE I TOLD U IT WAS GOOD !!! idk i'm so attached to this fic even tho it's nowhere near finished but i'm so proud of that intro alone, i couldn't keep it to myself anymore ;;; it's a good standalone AND a good opener, people can take it as either!

i feel like the characters in this are well-developed too. like jae and johnny are complete opposites--sunshine, flirty child who gets around but is secretly in love with his bestie and then there's the more silent and broody but will always take care of you, dreamboat. idk i love writing one sided loves!!! and with jae, idk why but it always hits diff!!!

definitely not feeling better but i went to work :( i've been blowing my nose all day. pretty sure imma get a rash from all the tissues i've been using. OH GOD 3 TIMES??? thankful i only got it once!

yes take it step by step. a masters program is really time and energy consuming but i still think it is worth it! there's just a lot of things you need to consider.

uuuh fic recs??? all the ones in @sehunniepotrecs, here are the ones that really stick out to me:

fics by @taelme

state of grace (photographer!johnny, my ult comfort fic, i literally read this and cry every month)

enchanted (regency!au, jaehyun)

treacherous (regency!au, johnny, enchanted spin-off)

make me move by @yutaholic

tis the damn season by @najaemism (celeb ex!mark, social media!au, another comfort read and i die of laughter every time)

#🍑anon #nikki replies

[unhonestlymirror]

I remembered that Red Cross or UN twitter scandal about "folk medicine". And it's funny. They wrote something about the benefits of herbs and acupuncture - and the people in comments went absolutely mad, yelling that folk medicine is not real medicine. It's funny because all those higher-ups that spread ideas that you can trust only pharmaceutical companies, got into their own trap. I'm still not sure, why they published that folk medicine thread, though.

Do you know what the main rule of a doctor is? Don't cause harm. If we know that, e.g., a person has a heart failure, and we know that digoxin treats heart failure, are we gonna prescribe a patient acupuncture and the camomile tea? Of course not. It would be torture of a patient. We must prescribe digoxin, AND we can add camomile tea to the list to improve the mood. Because we know that camomile tea does not cause harm. (In general...). However, absence of digoxin can cause more harm. It's in simple words because I don't count the drug-food, drug-drug interactions, pharmacokinetics, pharmacodynamics, medical history, etc.

HOWEVER! We have another case. Let's say, a patient with COVID-19 fell into coma due to... for example, virus caused thromboembolism because no one gave them Xarelto, or hospital aquired pneumonia, etc. The patient's inconsolable mother cries and says she doesn't know what to do because no medicine is helping anymore. The patient is already full of medications, and the situation overall is very pessimistic. You've heard somewhere on YT about Chinese hot baths with herbs. You have a choice:

give up and let the patient die slowly

try everything you can if nothing helps anymore, fight till the last.

I've heard this is what happened to a boy in China, who was bathed in hot water with some herbs after lying unconsciously in the hospital for several months... and it worked. He came out of the coma. Maybe it was a fake story, but I tend to believe it. Remember how you went home after the long, hard day of job you hate, you ruined your trousers because of rain and mud - and you come home and get yourself a bath with roses and candles. It feels pretty good, isn't it? For the body, which was in a comatose state for months, not moving, not bathing, not living the life, it must have felt like heaven.

A good doctor should not give up any possible medicine for moral reasons, if nothing helps and there is the slightest chance something will help. We should not completely avoid folk medicine, as well as we should not completely avoid medications, chemotherapy, etc. The modern medicine was born from the folk medicine, and the modern medicine has approximately the same chance of fail as the folk medicine (Thalidomide scandal, trans therapy scandals, etc). There should be balance.

#just some thoughts #medicine

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 42 Pt 2: We are All Warhammer Minis

Last we left off, Bakura just reminded Yami that he did, in fact, invite him to play a Shadow game, and then Yami just kinda never realized the game had started. Yami was warned, Bakura explains, It’s not like he wasn’t told exactly what would happen.

Which is a weird ass thing to say, when it like involved Bakura crashing Yami’s funeral.

Like Yami was supposed to DIE in that tomb, right? Like he was gonna find peace and happiness and then peace the hell out of Yugi’s haunted bean. But instead of perma-dying, he’s freakin stuck here. With Bakura. For the end of his days. His very worst frenemy. The ultimate trap. What a weird way to hang out with Bakura, getting trapped like this.

It is interesting how the Alexander the Great arc actually does play into this arc. Shada did make a model of the past for them to fight in, and now Bakura’s doing the same except way more dramatic because unfortunately it alters history.

(read more under the cut)

Don’t think too much about what would even happen to Yugi and friends if you damage or move anything from 5000 years ago. Like I’m pretty sure you can knock over a few cans of ancient Egyptian paint and just Greece would have ceased to exist. That’s how tenuous changing the past seems to me, if I have learned anything from Twilight Zone.

The fact that without Yugi existing in the future, would mean Yami would not have been able to alter the past: don’t think about that. Shadow Realm means we don’t think about that. Shadow Realm does what it pleases.

That or this show is going to split off into hundreds of multiverses just like Marvel and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

Also, we are informed that the rainbow filter is not so much of a Aknadin technique as it is a Bakura’s busted hourglasses technique.

Also it took me 2 watches of this episode, making the caps, editing this out, to realize that he has the hourglass sideways. The three hourglasses are just hourglasses in three directions, sand going down, sand going up, or sand staying still. Holy crap, y’all, long covid: my brain took way too long to realize that.

But we got there!

Did I go “wtf” when Joey was like “ah, I could get used to this!” Yes, yes I did.

At that point, Zorc shows up to give Aknadin a wish, I guess. Like a genie.

And then he was immediately doused in purple gatorade.

You may be wondering “hey, but I thought you can’t make Zorc because Yami locked Zorc away when he lost his own damn name” and don’t worry, Bakura already thought about that.

I guess the function of the last hourglass is “I put a gun to the plot and told it to step forward or I swear to Gods, I will shoot.” He can bend future time one single time at his will, and waited this long to use it. Probably because youknow, it’s Bakura, he’s not going to choose any time to do this but the very rudest time to do so.

Back at Casa Pharaoh, Tristan has made it to the chamber of legs. Notice how Yami’s Dad is the only guy who was like “Hell no, I’m not shaving for my portrait, just draw me in a robe.” Just like me every time I decide to wear tights with a skirt.

Turns out that yes, Yami deleted his own name just everywhere. The curse he got cursed with was very effective.

And back at Aknadin and his awkward family reunion, Seto is kind of over having a family and it’s only been like less than a minute of having one.

No, they did not have a moment of “Wait! Yami is my cousin???” which like, asking your Son to kill his cousin sure is moment. Also the moment of realizing your cousin is 2 feet shorter than you and trying to figure out how that works.

And now, Seto’s Dad looks like this guy:

It’s a look. It’s a card somewhere.

So, in a moment that was hard to cap, Aknadin decided to blast everyone in the face with a plasma beam, and out of the clouds comes Hassad, here to block to blows and take a fireball the chest, like a trooper.

Now if you don’t remember Hassad, he was a hallucination that Pharaoh had in the cave before he saw himself as a literal baby and was like “yikes” and left the cave. Turns out, Hassad is the protector of the Pharaohs, and is finally here to do his damn job.

After Yami, uh, already died once, but youknow what? Better late than never, Hassad!

But unfortunately, this means we’re back at square one, that’s right, it’s time to duel again!

But like, next episode. don’t worry. It’s next episode.

phew.

Like seriously Yugi has done more damage to planet earth than most anime children. Power to him.

And then as I was capping I realized something about Dartz, and I said “I’ll find a way to organically fit this into the commentary” and maybe if I had a better brain I would have done that. Instead, an aside about Dartz’s season that I keep thinking about this season with Bakura.

Because never forget Dartz walked into Cairo, saw Yami, and was like “neat, I’m gonna steal his power” and then saw Bakura and then immediately turned around. When like, this is all that Bakura does.

This leaves so many questions about Bakura and who he was before he was possessed by the spirit of the ring, and when he got possessed by the ring, since he was supposed to be in prison right? So...that was one pissed off prisoner to just have VIBES that were enough to throw off Dartz.

Anyway, that’s all for now, as per usual, here is the link to read these from the beginning, if you so desire. I know my update schedule is so slow atm, but my backlog is pretty freakin strong at this point so there’s more, if you’re new here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#Yugioh #Yu-Gi-Oh #YGO #S5 #Ep42 #Yami Yugi #Pharaoh #Bakura #Theif King Bakura #Seto Kaiba #Preist seto #Aknadin #Joey Wheeler #Tea Gardner #Tristan Taylor #Is possessed again and living his best life #TTRPG

[beardedmrbean]

In honor of my first beer of the night (I know I said I don't drink so much anymore, and I don't, especially on a Wednesday, but I just found out yesterday morning that I'm moving in two weeks (I didn't get evicted or anything, I just don't pay attention to anything and my lease is up and I don't like to stay in one place for very long because I get bored) and I don't like moving so I'm eating everything in my fridge so I don't have to take anything with me) I figured I should elaborate on the story of how I coldcocked my dome on a fence on my birthday. I'll be totally honest, I'm a little hazy on the details. I can't remember if it was during COVID or not; I THINK it was because I was working at the test track that week, and the last time I was working at the test track was during COVID. Except I don't really remember much about that week at the test track because I got hit by a dump truck and they sent me home because I didn't remember getting hit by a dump truck. And I distinctly remember going home that night and finding my roommate standing on the lawn (this is a different roommate, I found him down south while I was moseying down that way and found out it was his dream to live in the same city I was currently headed to and I was like, "well, that sounds like God has a plan, then, hell yeah, brother, hop in") with my cat in a backpack and a firetruck in the yard and he said "oh, hey, don't panic, but something really big and really on fire fell through the ceiling into our shower. I didn't know what it was so I just grabbed the cat and called the fire department", and I'm pretty sure I remember him wearing a face mask. (Anyway it turned out that it was our HVAC unit that caught fire. I have no idea why that happened though.) I remember my cat had died around that time, though, and the day before he died (he just died of old-ness, or whatever it is that 17 year old cats die of) (also for the record I didn't have the cat for 17 years, I had him for probably closer to two or three? I just found him outside and he was clingy) we had a party for him in my kitchen and my friends came over to say goodbye to him. At least, I think that's what we were doing. I remember being in the kitchen and drinking and having cake, and I told everyone to say goodbye to the cat, because he was gonna keel over pretty soon, and... Okay, wait, it's all coming together now. The cat died the year prior, because when the HVAC caught fire, the first thing my roommate said was that he had to apologize to the firefighters about the cat bones on the coffee table because he'd dug the cat out of the plant pot we buried him in (we rent so we didn't want to bury him out in the yard for a dog to find) and was drying the bones before he transferred him into a nicer plant pot. My roommate was wearing a mask because I had been wearing one because I had a horrifying face rash and he was afraid (for whatever reason) that it was catching. (It's not catching, it just happens from time to time. One time it was so bad that I was taking a guy who was having a stroke to the hospital and he still found it within himself to ask "holy hell, what happened to your face?") We were in the kitchen eating cake because it was my birthday, not because it was a party for the cat. So one year later after that, it was my birthday once again and it happened to be that I had just finished up at the track, so to celebrate both of those things, we took a walk down the road to my favorite bar. Oh, and you know, come to think of it, it couldn't have been COVID times because we were at a bar.

#anonymous #story time #cw flashing

[sushigal007]

Whoops, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I blame the covid. Totally wiped me out. It’s also been a busy few weeks at work, plus my kid got themselves a theme park pass, and half my free time is now spent driving to Thorpe Park. And, my sister has been to Greece about four times this year already ‘cause our mum’s been unwell, and that’s me on airport driving duty. Basically, too much real life, not enough simulated life. But! I’m ill again, which means I’ve finally managed to claw a few hours spare to post the Ramirez household. Say hi to Checo, everyone!

Right, time to drug your army of children.

Checo and Lisa: Actually, we would like to bang.

And I would like you to train your quads. Lisa: Isn’t that what the nanny’s for?

Huh, apparently so!

But we can also add in a little parentification now that Tessa’s ageing up.

Tessa: These hands were made for jazz.

Yep, Tessa’s LTW is to become Lord of the Dance. We’ll see how that goes.

Max also grew up! Nobody noticed.

So yeah, this is Tessa’s life now. Tessa: It’s not quite the dance party I was expecting.

Still, there are sweet moments along the way. Erica: Huggles? Alyson: Huggles!

Terence: Huggles? Jacob: DOG FOOD ATTACK RARRRRGH.

Terence: D:

Tessa: Lock my door.

Lisa: I AM NOT- Having a good time? Lisa: GET SOME NEW MATERIAL. Lisa: AND USE IT TO ENTERTAIN ME.

All right, here’s something funny. Lisa: The... nanny? Keep watching.

Nanny: I was so busy potty training the children, I forgot to potty train myself! Lisa: It’s mean, but OK, it’s a little funny. (That’s not all nanny piss btw, I’m just very bad at catching Max in the act.)

Speaking of piss.

Jacob: There there, good potty.

Checo: He can pee in a pot, he’s my favourite now.

Jacob: High chair. Checo: You’re so right!

Lisa, alas, is not enjoying toddlers quite as much. Lisa: I’m too pretty for this.

Erica: RELEASEEEEEE MEEEEEEE!

Terence: Laid a fresh one for you, mom.

Lisa: This is fine.

Tessa: OK, you put your left leg in, your left leg out. In, out, in, out, and shake it all about.

Terence: Sis, hey, sis, hey. Erica: Hush please, I am concentrating.

Terence: That’s right, hand it over. Erica: Oh. I see how it is.

Bath time for stinky boys.

A problem for future Sushi.

At last, the toddler stage is over! Tessa: Do you wanna go first or...? Checo: Oh yeah, sure, no problem.

Checo: But first, let me ogle my wife. Tessa: Soon I will be at university and all of this will be behind me...

First up, Erica! Erica: Yay!

Then Alyson! Checo: Hooray for me! Alyson: Hooray for cake.

Tessa ad Sharla: Happy birthday to the wall!

Next up is Jacob, assuming I haven’t got the names mixed up.

Kennedy: Toot toot.

Jacob: Limbo!

Lisa: Whew, right in the nick of time. Lisa: So long as we ignore the bit where time kept going looping for three hours so I could finish this.

But yes, finally it’s Terence’s turn to grow up.

Benjamin: I’m gonna punch him. Please don’t. Benjamin: Gonna punch him so hard.

Celebrate good times, come on!

Erica: Wait a minute...

Erica: I hate that stupid bear outfit. Alyson: I think he’s hibernating!

Jacob: Does he have to do it at the bottom of the stairs though?

Erica lives at the piano now. Her OTH is Sports.

Tessa: Something about emergencies, I guess.

Lisa: Finally, I can start working on the damn car.

Good Lord.

Let’s have a little playtime interlude.

Mailman: Bills. Erica: Do you accept lemonade? Mailman: Not in exchange for bills. Erica: How about in exchange for money? Mailman: Technically, that is also bills.

Fuck that librarian.

Lisa: Whatever. I’m taking a nap.

Um.

Checo: Hot wife! Freezing cold wife, actually. Wanna do something about that? Checo: Nope!

Why? He hasn’t done anything. Alyson: Yet.

Tessa: Ahhh, dance time!

Chess party.

Gaming party.

Just lots of cute family bonding moments.

Checo: I’m too sexy for my shirt.

Bath time for stinky boys. Which I know I said last time too, but I just really like this pet bath.

Werewolf: Is she OK? No.

Lisa: Zzzz... piss... Checo: On it.

Yeah she might actually die.

Gilbert: Yeah good luck with that.

Lisa: Ugh, what happened? You lost your job and passed out in the absolute worst place possible.

Lisa: I’m freezing! Don’t worry, you’re about to warm yourself up.

Lisa: Eek nooo!

Wanda: HAHAHAHAHA! Lisa: This is because I laughed at the nanny, isn’t it? Yeah, that probably didn’t help.

Anyway, over to Tessa. Tessa: Look, somebody else is pissing themselves! Buck:

Tessa: BAM! In the face!

Decided to check out the furniture store and once again, it is borked. Cashier: It’s Kevin’s fault. Other cashier: Yeah, definitely Kevin.

But you know what? I don’t know how to stop it from happening again, nobody’s got a business LTW anyway, so bye bye business!

Checo: And now to spend the profits.

Lisa: Mmm, that piss puddle really sets the mood. ...There is way too much piss in this update.

If you two make more quads, I will genuinely kill you.

Newspaper kid: Shake? Tessa: Salute.

Tessa: Love love peace peace?

Cute little family dance party. Terence: Except me. Except you.

Jacob: I wanna join in! Go right ahead, sweetie.

Alyson: Are you OK? Terence: Clearly not.

Erica: You might be watching me, but who do you think is watching you? Please don’t, I’m too ill for dep thinking.

Cute!

Please don’t die. Lisa: Frostbite couldn’t do it, and electrocution ain’t gonna do it either.

Weekend! I sent Tessa out to do some singing...

...And then decided to start working on those dance contests for her LTW.

Alas, her first attempt was a failure.

Still, at least she doesn’t take it as badly as this poor townie. Townie: I JUST WANNA DANCE LIKE NO-ONE’S WATCHING! Everyone’s watching. Everyone.

Erica: I’m dying. Alyson: You’re wearing a vest and shorts outside in winter, of course you’re dying.

Alyson: But now, a message about recycling.

Ah how sweet, doomed townie love.

Tessa: Hey, don’t mind me, just gonna practise my moves.

Wait a minute, that looks familiar...

I mean, without the shotgun, but yeah!

And the week ends with Alyson doing a little stargazing. Next up is a single sim household, so hopefully it won’t take me three months to write up. Hopefully!

Uberhood Index

#sims 2 #premades #Uberhood #ramirez

[quaranmine]

I’m in Australia but in a city so not in direct fire risk. I remember 2010 Black Saturday but only because it was very very hot and I do not take well to the heat. I didn’t realise at the time about the fire danger but my parents said they could tell all day that lots of people were gonna die because it was so dry and hot but the wind was there too.

In 2011 we did a unit on natural disasters so I did a project on bushfires and specifically the previous years Black Saturday, and after that I was so afraid of the fires burning down the house. It took a while to realise I’m far enough from the bush and deep enough in the city that I’m probably safe.

The ones I remember more clear were the 2019/2020 Black Summer fires just before COVID hit. The fires were much further north, but the smoke spread so far. It was hazy outside and hard to breathe. I had some friends from Canberra close to the fires visiting and I remember telling them that the smoke outside was the worst it had been so far, and they looked at it and were like “it’s so much better than back home, so much easier to breathe” so yknow. Perspective.

The masks specifically for smoke protection were sold out close to the fires as well, so while those friends were visiting I took them to my nearby Bunnings so they could buy one for when they got back home again bc there were none available.

But yeah I agree with the other comments about the smoke and the haze, even from hundreds of kms away. I also remember seeing the smoke on satellite imaging and I think it went as far as New Zealand that time?

Oh and also we had a camping holiday booked that year, but we had to go up a day late because there were fires in the area. Many times we’ve been camping and there’s been a “total fire ban” day. The rangers come around with a bucket and a laminated bit of information and talk to you, and you have to explain your evacuation strategy if it comes to that and so on, and you have to be so vigilant. Luckily we’ve never directly experienced it.

On the flip side of all that, I do find it fascinating in Australia how many plants were evolved for fires, and many seed pods can’t open until they’ve been through a fire and the fire needs to crack them open, and how you see super charred trees for years and years afterwards but they’re still alive and still with new growth. I love Australian countryside <3

hi book! thank you for your ask! these stories are all very interesting. in reference to smoke traveling long distances (you mention it went as far as New Zealand) i'm pretty sure I more recently saw a news article saying they'd measured smoke from the current canadian wildfires all the way into europe and northern africa! i'm unsure if that was a enough to cause any noticeable dip in air quality, but it's amazing how far it can go. the bit about the rangers coming around and asking you to explain your evacuation strategy is also super interesting.

also yeah! i love reading about plants that are adapted to fire, it's so neat. it really shows how it's part of the landscape and ecology of an area.

#quara asks #hc_firewatch_au

[discluded]

Why do I feel like Apo might have gone to Kalasin? When he mentions that Mile was reminiscing recently on a trip....that sounds like a trip back home. Though of course it could have been anywhere.

No need for conspiracy, anon! Most likely he was referring to the BOC work trip to Phuket. They've been pretty busy with work, and Mile got covid which took out half of September... if there was a time they were going to go, it would have been then (stay healthy Mile 🙏). Before it was formally announced they'd do the Vogue Gala, they had nothing on their schedule between Sept 11 (KPWT send off) and Sept 26 (D7 fan meet). Of course they're also rehearsing/practicing skills for the 2023 film but I'd imagine Mile would have wanted to go home to spend time with family before he had such a busy October...

I think someone connected the dots that Mile posted this at the Vogue photoshoot (this was the day after this infamy lmfao). I don't think they did the interview on the same date, but Apo talking about the one year anniversary of KPTS is likely related to the release of the Hidden Message trailer / "Mafia Never Die" which were both posted on August 29 on the BOC YouTube channel. The trip they went on in early/mid August was to Phuket. So that tracks!

Considering fans were trending #KalasinPlazaxMileApo, I'm sure we'll hear about it when Apo goes to Kalasin. Mile will definitely want to roll out the red carpet for him... after all, Mile is the Prince of Kalasin (I can't believe that's real... You really gonna make MileApo into my Harry and Megan, huh, Mile....)

#mileapo #mileapo x vogue #I literally attempted 5 times to post this tumblr has the shittiest editor known to man

[destinyc1020]

It's nice that Ashley has kept her support for Austin despite also being a friend of Vanessa. I just think that if Austin was nasty to Vanessa, Ashley would not be supporting like she has been

I think their friendship is sweet too Anon 🥰

And I agree with you.... The fact that Ashley is still friends with BOTH Vanessa AND Austin gives me the impression that the Aunessa breakup is probably not as "scandalous" as some fans are trying to make it out to be, because if he had really done Vanessa terribly wrong, I think Ashley would have had a hard time still being friends with Austin, and at the very least, she wouldn't still be showing her very PUBLIC support for him.

Remember, Ashley was the one who hooked Vanessa up with Austin years ago.

So yea.... that's just my theory. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Idk what happened obviously, but it's pretty clear that he broke Vanessa's heart.... (based on how salty she's been acting lol 👀). I don't think she dumped him in other words. I think he broke things off. But it may have been just that they were growing apart or had different goals in life. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I honestly don't know. 9 years IS a very long time to be with someone though, so I don't blame her for still being hurt.

With that said, now that I know more about Austin (before he was just known as "Vanessa's bf" rofl 🤣), I kind of find it weird how long they actually stayed together.

Look, I love Vanessa and all (she's sweet), but no offense, but she's always come off as being kind of ditzy to me? 😬 👀

I'll also never forget her very tone-deaf and insensitive comments during covid surrounding Coachella where she was basically doing a video on IG saying that "yea people are gonna die, and yea it sucks, but it was kind of expected?" 🥴 (very loosely paraphrasing)

I was like..... Ummmm.... people have lost LIVES.😤 One of my friends lost BOTH of her parents to covid within a WEEK of each other! I don't know... to me Vanessa's comment just came off as so flippant, insensitive, ditzy, and very unaware of the world.... and Austin strikes me as so different from that?

But hey, they were much younger back then when they were dating each other lol, so who knows lol 😆 🤷🏾‍♀️

I guess all l I'm saying is I'm not shocked in the least if over time he kinda got tired of the rlshp. 👀 Wasn't he like 19 when they first started dating? I'm sorry, but her baby voice ALONE would drive me insane and up a wall lol 🤣

I've always said it's best to be honest and let the rlshp go if you're not feeling it anymore, or if you're heading down a different path.🤷🏾‍♀️

Again, I'm not sure what went down, or if he's at fault and did smthg bad, but it seems like V wasn't quite ready to let the rlshp go. Again, this is just my own personal speculation based on how triggered she still is even though she and Austin have been broken up now for over 3 years, and she's been dating another man now for a while lol. 😂 👀

The fact that she's still subtly throwing shade after it's been like 3 years since their breakup makes me go hmmm..... 🤔

But then, at the same time, they still have mutual friends, and she supposedly is still keeping his deceased mother's dog?

So guuuuurrrrl....idk lol 🤣 😂

It's so strange lol 😆

I just wonder what Cole thinks about all of this "stuff" lol 👀👀

[atlantisknits]

1 - Trust the Process

Hi, hello,

I had originally considered creating some kind of YouTube channel, but after realising that I do not have the right kind of set up or environment (I am twenty-six and still live at home, it’s a touchy subject) I decided this may not be the most practical idea and would be difficult to stay consistent with posting as there would forever be some level of background noise or interference. 

So, here I am, I guess- writing down my incoherent thoughts about my hobby.

I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Alanis. I’m a millennial who is still trying to figure out their life and who has turned to a hobby to try and figure that out- in this case, that hobby is knitting. You may think that is an over exaggeration to an extent…perhaps. However, since I started knitting back in November 2021 it has given me something to focus on. My teenie tiny brain that had spent so much time spinning around inside my skull now had something to ease that. I enjoyed the sense of learning something new whilst also being rewarded at the end of a project with something cute I could wear. 

As someone who considers themselves to be ‘naturally creative’ I’ve often been drawn to expressing myself through art or writing, yet I often would try to explain to people how I felt like I needed something tangible- something that I could make with my hands and morph and shape, watching it grow in the process of creation. It surprised me how knitting hadn’t come to me sooner.  

However, knitting came to me at a time when I needed it most. I had recently been diagnosed with endometriosis and adenomyosis and was struggling to process this after what had been a long and tiring process to even reach this point. 

2020 was a strange year for many as the pandemic hit us all. As lockdown started in March 2020 I had already been self-isolating with some flu-like symptoms. However, after a couple of days these passed…only for me to be hit with the worst pain I had ever experienced. The pain was so intense I had felt nothing like it before. It felt like my insides had exploded- I was shaking uncontrollably, my skin was on fire, I was sweating, I was throwing up from the pain and was on the verge of blacking out as I tried to drag myself to the bathroom. I remember thinking to myself, ‘surely this is a ten, this is ten out of ten pain, I’m gonna die.’ In normal circumstances most people would have gone to A&E, however as the country had been told to avoid A&E due to Covid I had to endure the pain from my bedroom floor. All I could do was curl up and hope that this pain passed as my body flinched and I would cry out in agony. 

Eventually, the pain did ease, but didn’t go away. Every day I was in some level of pain- shooting, acidic, constricting, cramping, throbbing. I felt like my body was broken, something inside me didn’t feel right and it was from here that I decided to seek help. It wasn’t until months later and after various second opinions that endometriosis was actually mentioned to me. I find it funny how at this time I had recently finished reading Sally Rooney’s Conversations With Friends. As I read I realised how much I related to the symptoms mentioned and this is how I first began to read more into endometriosis. This book now holds special importance to me. 

Jumping forward, in October 2021 after multiple appointments, tests and scans I got the answers to what had been causing my pain. Throughout this journey I had felt so confused and out of touch with myself- I was constantly exhausted from being in pain and having to explain my symptoms to medical professionals who weren’t willing to understand, I was lonely from being isolated through lockdown and also after coming out of a long-term relationship- I was having to learn how to be on my own in a time where I guess everyone was feeling pretty alone. There was a sense of irony having the guy I had spent six years with turn around and tell me he doesn’t want kids to then be told that whatever was going on inside me could affect my potential to do so. It’s not that I even particularly wanted/want kids, but I guess when you’re in a relationship the social standard is to one day move in together, get married, start a family. 

During the appointment where I was diagnosed surgery had been discussed to remove the hemorrhagic cyst in my left ovary, but given its size and location I was told there was the potential that I could lose my ovary. Usually surgery is suggested as a treatment to remove any cysts and endometriosis tissue through a laparoscopy and from here a ‘confirmed’ diagnosis can be given and also at what stage the disease is at, so without surgery not only am I left with the issue at hand but also a sense of imposter syndrome as even though through the multiple scans and tests I’ve undergone apparently endometriosis still can’t be ‘confirmed’ until a sample has been taken through surgery and been sent off for testing. With this a hysterectomy was also mentioned to me with regards to the adenomyosis as unlike endometriosis which can be cut or burnt away with surgery (with the potential of growing back) the same can’t be done for adenomyosis. However, over a year has passed since then and now again I can’t help but notice further irony as despite them being reluctant to press surgery as an option in order to protect my fertility I am now left with endo and adeno messing up my insides further. 

I was also concerned about my job- in a sense I was grateful for the lockdowns as I would not have been able to work in the state I was in. But, ultimately it did reach a point where I left my job. I felt like so many people had already walked out of my life through this and now I was walking away from my job as I couldn’t hack it. I reached a point of real self-hatred. My mind would tell me how pathetic I was, I would watch as everyone around me would move on with their lives whereas I felt like I was being pulled backwards. I was a failure. I didn’t see the point in anything. 

It wasn’t until I went out for coffee one afternoon with close friends that knitting had even crossed my mind. I urged myself to be present and not allow my mind to wander to negative self-talk, but when knitting came up in conversation something sparked at the back of that empty space. From there my brain would not stop thinking about it- I went home and started researching ‘how to knit.’ The next day I went to my local yarn store (I am fortunate enough to have a lovely yarn store in my town), I walked in, said, “I want to learn how to knit. What do I need?” I left with some circular needles and some balls of Drops Lima in my bag…only for my mum to look at my tiny needles and to tell me to perhaps try something chunkier to start with. 

From there began a journey of learning various skills and enjoying discovering new ideas and inspiration. It started with some dodgy garter stitch blankets and stockinette scarfs to an intarsia jumper I had knitted in totally the wrong gauge (but still love) to now a love of designers such as Petite Knit, My Favourite Things Knitwear and Knitting For Olive. Now, german short rows and italian bind-off don’t intimidate me like maybe they once would have. I remind myself that if there’s something I want to do I should just do it and learn along the way and that’s something I have stuck by. Impulsive? Maybe. But, does it push me to experiment and explore my hobby further? Yes. 

This is also something that can be applied to everyday life. Just do the thing and learn along the way- enjoy the process. 

Over the past couple of months I have come to realise that life is a process. Adapting to life with a chronic illness has meant that my life has slowed down somewhat and I have had to adjust my pace. Not everyone’s pace matches and it’s cool if mine doesn’t match those around me, just like it’s cool if I don’t churn out multiple gorgeous knitted projects each month. Just because I don’t have the life I had envisioned by now doesn’t mean it won’t come to me one day, things take time and if ‘my time’ wants to take its time, then cool. 

I’ll sit and chill with my knitting in the meantime. 

I would love to hear what project you’re currently working on- doesn’t necessarily have to be knitting related! I want to make this a little space to talk about the joy of knitting and a little sprinkle of life as well (lol hopefully know the backstory is out of the way things will be less depressing). I hope this is something fellow knitters (and non-knitters) may find interesting!

Much love and happy knitting! xo

Current Project: Elisabeth Blouse by Petite Knit

Yarn: Filcolana Pernilla in shade Chai

Original image posted to my Instagram account: atlantis.knits

#knit #knitting #knitblr #knittersofinstagram #knitterslife #knitters of tumblr #knittersgonnaknit #yarn #hobby #hobbylife #slow fashion #handmade #made by me #blog #endometriosis #adenomyosis #chronic illness

[wxniesrxse]

Lee Leo : Broken Boy

WARNING

Cussing (bad words)

Triggering Situations

Car Crashing

Mentioned of Suicide

Bad Relationship

Bullying

Pairing: You x Leo of Trainee A

Warning: Mature

Lee Leo.

The kid who once turned on the school's alarm for no reason he only did that and left the school's grounds when everybody was running out the school building afraid it was something serious.

Lee Leo.

The kid who did whatever he want during science class. One time in a chemical project he was in my team. He wasn't supposed to mixed any chemicals that the teacher hasn't told us to use. But Leo didn't listen and mixed chemicals and more chemicals together creating an explosion in the middle of the table. "Uugh....it didn't explode the way I wanted it..." he puffed and frowned.  "Idiot" I thought.

Lee Leo

The kid that steal peoples food whenever he liked.

Lee Leo

Who once was the most trouble maker in high school and gave almost everyone a hard time...including me.

I remember how this wasn't the Leo I knew back in elementary school and middle school. Leo and I were close friends. Leo was kind, sweet, helpful, teacher's favorite student, and people love him.....but when his parents die in a car crash...he changed. Well....if I remember correctly after his parents death he only had one person to take care of him. That was his uncle.

Leo once told me how he didn't like him because his uncle was a drunk. His uncle has two younger sons and has a new wife but his new wife does not treat the two kids well.

After the tragedy happened, he started to live with his uncle and that's when the "new" and "mean" Leo was born. I even started to hate him during those 4 years.

Now we're out of school. Probably everyone has a job, doing their dream job, are studying a career in college, probably meeting their first real love. I'm studying to be a veterinarian because of my love for animals and I'm also working in a cafe shop near my home.

But let me tell....one day......I saw him. Lee Leo.

He walked in hand in hand with a beautiful girl. She was so pretty that you could even mistake her of being a popular social media influencer. That day I had a black mask on because of COVID rules but no matter how much I hate to wear it I was glad to have it on because there could be a chance that Leo wouldn't recognize me immediately.

They walk towards the ordering desk were I was taking the orders. " I want a americano and chocolate cake" she said as she look at the list of deserts that was in front of me. Leo step forward and order " I want a latte and chocolate cake as well" he smiled lightly. I was shocked to see him smiling even a little bit. I remember him being so angry. I stared at him for a few seconds before typing the his order in the computer. "Okay it's 12.50...." I said as I got their credit card.

I watched them sit together. Leo was sitting on the opposite side of her. He held her hand across the table but she aggressively pulled her hand away. " I saw the way that ugly cashier looked at you" I heard her say and of course I felt uncomfortable hearing that. I think I should've been more careful.

Leo chuckled quietly. " she was? I didn't even notice it..." he said not showing any care. " yeah right! That's what you always say to any girl....anyway I'm not gonna get jealous today .....Leo~ I want the shoes I saw yesterday at the mall...can you buy them for me?" She cooed. She caressed his cheek softly. " of course babe, anything for you" he said as he kiss the knuckles of her hand.

I literally stand there pretending I was doing something on the computer as I watched them. Honestly I wasn't sure why I was interested to know what they were doing at that time knowing the piece of shit he was in high school.  Although I don't know that young woman, for what I'm seeing, Leo seems to be so in love with her but.....she looks like she isn't....just there for the money.

" YN, I need you in the coffee area!" A co worker called me. I didn't want to leave but I had to do my tasks.

Then we all heard the sound of yelling and stuff been thrown down. We all run to the front desk to see what was going on.

Leo's girlfriend threw her cup of coffee to the floor and it shattered. " why you gotta be like this!" She screamed...literally screamed. She looked so angry that she suddenly took Leo's hot coffee and threw on him. "What the fuck Mirae! It's not that deep!" Leo step backwards as he look at his wet clothes. " you're the worst boyfriend! Why am I even dating you if you can't make me happy! I shouldn't have saved you when you were about to-" she immediately stop herself from saying what I think she was going to say out loud. Leo's frowned turned into a sad look. " get... the fuck...out of here...." He whispered as he sat down back in the chair in a such a tiredly and defeated way.

When I saw him looking defeated and sad I just realized that the good boy I've known before is still there....but he's broken.

"Leo! I know you went through a lot and you still are, let me help you....please..." I crouch down to be able to see his face. I put my hand on his arm. Leo slowly look at me. "YN?..." he whispered with a questionable look. " I work here....but let me take you home......you're hurting from inside ...." I said quietly looking at his eyes. "Why?....You and I stopped being friends....a long long time ago..." he said dryly as he look way from me.

But I know the Leo I always known is still there....

" we'll talk once you're clean..." I smiled as I put my hand out to him....and he took it.

" Do you want to eat something? Drink anything? You ask and I'll get it for you...." He slightly smirked. It was a kind and sweet smirk. He sat on a stool next to me. He changed his white shirt to a gray one and his pants too. He had his hair down instead of wearing that red cap on he had earlier. He looked approachable specially with the sweet smile he gave me.

" thank you for the offer but I ate lunch and I'm very fulled" I rubbed my belly as I laughed. He chuckled and didn't stop staring at me. " I'm sorry for being a piece of shit to you in high school..." he said in a serious voice. He licked his bottom lip and rubbed his own hands together. " I've gone through a lot of horrible shit with my uncle and....I've shouldn't have used those reasons to treat others like shit....I regret everything I did in the past...." He pressed his lips together and look down. He was crying.

I felt like crying too. He went through a lot and as the good friend I used to be to him I never gave him a chance to talk to me about his struggles. Everyone would say "what the hell is wrong with Leo" instead of asking " what is going wrong with Leo? Is he okay? Does he have problems at home?" And I was one of them. I felt horrible.

I got off of the stool and hugged him tightly. " hey it's in the pass, I should have been there for you even if you changed, even if you bully me, I should have been by your side before judging you like the rest did....I feel at fault too...and I'm sorry for that, im really sorr-" Leo turn to look at me. His hands touching the sides of my face.

He was too close. " don't apologize, but I hope you can forgive me..." he mumbled. I smiled and nodded. " of course! Like I said it's in the pass and now we're adults living our own life....we can restart our friendship again " I put my hands on his hands that were still on my face. I grab them and pull them off my face so I can hold his hands with mine properly.

He let out a tiny laugh. "Okay...of course..." he said getting off the stool. He wrapped his arms around my neck as I wrapped my hands around his torso. " should we go out to dinner together?" You asked in a question voice. "Yes. Then I can talk to you about how I met her...Mirae..." he said sounding sad. I nodded and grabbed his hands. "Alright! We have a lot time to catch up" I smiled at him and so he did as we both shared a laugh together.

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Thank you for reading! I enjoy writing this sad Leo shot! I hope I didn't made anyone uncomfy.

( this will be on my WATTPAD & IG)

#trainee a imagines #traineea #trainee a #trainee a jj #trainee a sangwon #trainee a leo #trainee a woochan #trainee a yorch #trainee a james #trainee a jihoon #trainee a ff #trainee a scenario #lee leo #lee leo imagine #lee leo ff #lee leo fanfiction #trainee a fanfiction #kpop fanfic #hybe labels #bighit #kpop #han jihoon #jo woochan #justin jay #lee sangwon #yorch yongsin #bighit boys