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#i was reminded of them so i get to talk abt it
isa-ghost · 21 hours
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ok
*insert coin*
Can I ask for q!Phil hcs BUT when he's fully un Bird mode :D
Jokes on you that's easy, those are just more plain qPhil hcs for me >:D
qPhil headcanons masterlist
Sometimes if he's in a fight that he's not taking seriously he'll put some goofy ass music on in his headphones. Some favorites include the Mario invincibility star theme, Waltz of the Meatball Man, and the kind of bubbly anime ending music that plays over an emotionally devastating scene
After way too much stress, once he gets Chayanne & Tallulah to bed and is on his own he'll go somewhere and just. Scream. For as long as it takes. And then he chugs tea or noodle broth to prevent his throat from dying on him.
Sleep schedules his beloathed <- wants to spend more time with a bunch of islanders he doesn't get to see often
Out of the 3 polycule members, Fit is best at cheering him up. He knows Phil best and the extent to which he lacks a filter sometimes is too powerful for Phil not to at least smile at
His wheeze laugh is the best thing ever to the the kids. If the two of them can make him wheeze, they know they've done their job right.
As soon as he knows something is safe (the maze, an event site like the code builds, that new mountain at old Spawn, etc) he's the first one to start exploring. He's been that way as long as he can remember ;)
*Slaps top of his head* This old man can fit so much survivor's guilt in him
He's only old in age and wisdom, if you try to imply he's geriatric he will get SO out of pocket about the things he's done with Fit & Etoiles and you will regret it
Okay so I've talked about how his worst fear is not having control, especially of himself. And I've talked about other fears of his, but I don't think I've mentioned his fear of loss yet. He tries to pretend he isn't, he'll insist he isn't, and to some degree he isn't Entirely wrong, but he is afraid. Being as old as he is means you get a bit desensitized to loss because it's natural when the things and people around you don't live for as long as you do. The part of it Phil fears, or maybe hates is a better word, is all the emotional turmoil after. That bone-deep ache of grief, the heaviness that refuses to leave his chest, how easy it is to emotionally compromise him, the hollowness that consumes him. The way he can't think or sleep properly, how his motivation is completely wiped out, how embarrassing it feels to not be at 100% in front of people. He HATES the aftermath of it all.
Excursions, Shuniji, and ofc Weirdest Year by C418 are Phil grief songs, in this essay I will
The Federation has learned that if they want Phil to attend an event he isn't particularly interested in, all they have to do is have really good food there, especially Latino food
He does legitimately gag a little when he kills a mob and flies or maggots come out of it. That's not just drama, he fr is like 🤢. It reminds him of the first time he saw Ender King's corpse
A fraction of the reason why he has people he trusts very deeply, like Fit, whitelisted on his security stuff is bc he knows if he ever got too depressed (like when the kids were missing), he'd never leave the house and just bum around feeling awful despite being restless. Having them whitelisted means they can get in and force him to get some air and stop festering in his emotions.
See I could get into a whole analysis abt this but like. So many of my angst hcs for him are abt how he's kinda shit at taking care of himself, esp when the people he cares for the most are removed from the equation. But it's not that he's incapable of it, he's not a baby or something like that. It's another part of how he's so locked into being the caretaker, the protector, the Strong One, the wise one, etc etc etc that he Hates being in the reversed role. He's gone so long without it that now it's foreign and unpleasant to him. He feels weak & like a burden. But at the same time, going so long without being in the reversed role is unhealthy and he NEEDS to be the one taken care of or protected sometimes. Everyone does. It's a double-edged sword: be the caretaker, shoulder everything & suffer OR be the one taken care of, feel awful about it for one reason or another. He can't win. He hates the latter but he needs it occasionally just like anyone else. He prefers the former, but the toll it takes over time is extensive.
It's why he'll do little things in an attempt to remedy it. To avoid being full-on taken care of for once while also not Only doing the reverse. Watching the sunset with the kids, adventuring in new and exciting places, sparring with friends, etc. His escape is making vivid fond memories to look back on and smile about, even if they don't always fix his emotional state. At least he isn't fully neglecting himself.
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sixoclockuty · 2 days
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What do you think would martlet, starlo and ceroba thoughts on finally seeing the surface and on frisk?
anon ily for letting me talk abt this …
i think before the barrier would be broken but after frisk falls in that they definitely get the news that there’s a human around. and i think they all get together and collectively agree to stay as away as possible because they don’t want a repeat of last time; they loved clover and their death took a TOLL on them. they don’t want to go through that again.
and then the barrier is broken. joy.
martlet to start out i think she’d be fairly eager to see the surface. i mean it’s the SURFACE so like that’s cool! and having more room to fly about would also be nice i think. as for frisk…
frisk reminds her of clover— and frisk reminds all of them of clover really but martlet takes it in a sense where she probably accidentally calls frisk ‘clover’ by accident sometimes. she really doesn’t mean to it’s just !! it’s just how it is. and therefore she’s a lot more open to frisk than she would’ve been had clover never came through (and obviously she would’ve been open, but i mean like. moreso.)
starlo is probably disappointed at first that he can’t actually ‘ride into the sun’ but that is VERY quickly overshadowed by the fact that HOLY FUCK THATS THE SUN!!!!!! and its a star!?!?!?? and also i think he’d be shocked that the surface isn’t like the movies. but its alright. he can jsut head over to texas or something.
he’s similar to martlet in the regard that frisk reminds him of clover but he acts different than her. instead he’s more like, hes friendly and all but he isn’t like all up trying to be best friends or anything. he sees the traits clover had in frisk and it’s really bittersweet. probably really lost on how to feel about it entirely though bc come on. who would know??
ceroba is probably the most reluctant to go to the surface— because like, her family never gets to see this but she does? she doesn’t know how fair that is but i think she does go up anyway because you know, she has more life to live and stuff with her friends and whatnot. so that’s the surface
as for frisk…… she’s definitely dead set on they’re going to die at first. and then she’s not. and then she doesn’t know what to do because she doesn’t want to get attatched to this random ass child but then the random ass child frees monsterkind?? it’s definitely confusing and she definitely tries to keep her distance at first but eventually i think she’d warm up to frisk :)
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schmweed · 2 months
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#David Tennant#Alec Hardy#Ellie Miller#Broadchurch#my gifs#Yes they're talking about something extremely serious.#But can you see soft way his eyes tenderly trace her eyes and just rest on her face like it's the best thing he could look at?#He spends so long just looking at her -- and she is so mindful of his comfort level and RARELY looks back when he's looking at her.#If he's looking at her she's always looking ahead or down or away.#Except if she needs to hold his gaze to get a message across. Like go make some tea. Or if they're both worried.#This reminds me -- she is so naturally instinctively understanding of him#We rarely hear her addressing him by name after the rant that falls out of him when he has dinner at her place in S1.#She gets that simply looking at someone while you're talking to them is enough. And you don't need to tack on their name on top of that.#Which astounded me actually! I wondered if Chris Chibnall had spent some time around an autistic person!#Because I feel EXACTLY like Alec does abt names! I hate names. I hate using them. It's so unnecessary.#I'm not as outspoken as him though so I use them when I can't get out of it. But I hate it and I hate ppl using my name.#That scene was ASTOUNDING I'm telling you -- it took my breath away to find my very specific struggle onscreen!#Anyway. Yeah. She doesn't bug him or insist even though to her it's second nature.#I bet you she's very good at coming up with pet names -- another thing my autistic brain shrieks at and sth I suspect Alec finds impossible#Oh Ellie -- beautiful beautiful adorable strong wronged Ellie!#Wronged by everyone except him <3#Well and a few others -- Mark was kind to her despite his pain. Brian never treated her badly that we know of.#I will always love them for that.#I wish Jack had survived -- I think he would've been kind too. Maybe she would've hidden in his store when it got too much.
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vigilskeep · 1 month
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Whenever I think about your Keir I think about Bethany telling Anders he reminds her of Malcom. I’m sure that won’t ever affect Keir ever.
bethany is my favourite mage bc she never misses with that psychic damage
but really he and anders aren’t even a thing in act 1 so it’s less like “PLEASE stop comparing my crush to our father” and more like “oh fuck off i spend my entire life trying to act like our dad and one (1) mage rolls up and suddenly he’s dad??”
#the bethany anders keir weirdness about malcolm is so real#because bethany says ‘you remind me of him (generally positive)’ in act 1#but in later acts i think she’s still seeing the same thing just with a different uhhh mindset#seeing the way her dad wanted her to be something she wasnt and strive for something she was never sure was worth the sacrifice#how he tried to make decisions about what was best for other people. how he risked lives etc#whereas anders also has his own perception of malcolm which i think is quite... idealised#it means a lot to him that a mage raised a family that loved him. and hes envious of it#but thats definitely a standard anders is making up. if anders and malcolm really met we’d have to cast a barrier between them within five#minutes. for their own safety.#whereas keir in some ways saw a more complete version of his father from the beginning#but he also believes those more uhh flawed abrasive damaging sides are necessary. of course he does he repeats them#his father may not have been the easiest man in the world to live with but he always did what he had to#and kept his word and held himself to the same standards as others#but oh wait here’s the legacy dlc with the steel chair—#anyway my point being that u get these 3 in a room and theyre talking abt 3 entirely different malcolms. carnage#i dont think it would naturally occur to keir to compare anders to malcolm#but hed be like. ‘i GUESS?’ when bethany said it#honestly anders one of the things that’s kind of disillusioning abt malcolm bc like#i mean say what you like about my man anders but he was never all talk#not to dismiss the courage it took for malcolm to escape & raise a family#but thats one thing. insisting on using your abilities to help people & to go BACK for those still in the circle is kind of another#a lot of dialogue implying malcolm talked a big game about mage rights#but apart from raising a daughter who hates herself what did he actually do.#sorry thats mean but you see my point#and its not just justice that makes anders like that. sure he was more scared and hopeless about the circle#but his instincts are to help. you wouldnt catch malcolm going back to help against darkspawn even when told to run#and my malcolms also. gruff. stoic. serious. a man of few words. he does not do bits or tell you about his cat#if keir hears bethany compare anders to malcolm and at all agrees it’s not really anything about personality#he’s saying yeah i guess anders does seem like a good mage and a good man. thats the only commonality he would jump to#these tags got incredibly away from me
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briarhips · 5 months
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Anyone else feel forced to stay alive
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wundrousarts · 7 months
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Some theories, thoughts, and answers to questions that are in the works that I need to attempt to write out sometime, but probably won’t until I eventually reread Hollowpox on my eternal reread:
What led Squall to try and revolt? Was it a decision by himself, with others, or was there a third party involved? What is true and what isn’t?
What is the fallout and aftermath of Mog’s actions at Courage Square, and what might her future as a budding Wundersmith in Nevermoor look like?
Christmas Eve: is it a Distraction, is there a Ghostly Hour involved, is it related to the Massacre, and how could it relate to modern Nevermoorian religion and Squall’s exile and Eventide activities?
Maud: does she have a knack or some sort of power, how and when does she use it, what is her dynamic with Squall based on, and why is he so scared of her?
Miscellaneous Silverborn Masterpost additions, on a rolling basis as I (or anyone else!) thinks of things.
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dmclemblems · 2 years
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people before three hopes: rodrigue doesn’t care about his son
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my son
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my son
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thank you for taking such good care of my son
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how fortunate he’s my son all the same I’m glad he has you to look after him
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#Three Houses#Rodrigue#rodrigue calls him ''my son'' at every possible opportunity and i think that is very nice for him#if he truly wanted to distance himself from his own child then he would use his name and not refer to him#as specifically his child bc it would remind him/others that they're father and son#don't know why yuri knows what he knows but u know what it's yuri so i won't question it he just knows shit#but look rodrigue has always wished the best for felix even if felix didn't want anything to do with him#he never stopped trying to be a father to him or have a relationship with him#even with felix being so snappy and rude rodrigue still acknowledged him every chance he got and cared abt him#he's happy that byleth is his teacher bc he feels that he can't get through to felix and he's happy someone is around felix who can#in he can't do it he just wants to know someone else is out there who can care for him in the ways he can't#imo it's always been very clear and obvious that he loves felix and i don't think he was ever a BAD father#ppl just love smacking on that bad dad label without even paying attention to what's going on#it's not even fckn subtext lmfao it's literally right in your face#it's not his fault if felix doesn't want to talk to him and pushes him away. there's only so much he can do about that#he can at least still care about him and appreciate others being there for him#if you have a child who doesn't want to deal with you then as a parent you can still cherish them and see them as your kid#you can still want the best for them and talk about them to others and see how they're doing#no matter how much grief felix would give him anything at all rodrigue was still a parent to him#he didn't just call off being a parent to him bc of felix's feelings. he just dealt with it and continued doing what he could#you don't just stop being a parent bc your kid acts like that. rodrigue certainly didn't stop even in houses
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angelsdean · 4 months
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there are a few side characters i just find so boring, uncompelling, or only relevant in the era they exist / only enjoy from my personal interpretive lens but if you express any of that some people will act like you've committed a murder. but sometimes a side character is just a side character there to fulfill a specific narrative purpose! and that's fine. like i don't hate any of them, but i also don't particularly care abt them beyond their narrative purpose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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castielafflicted · 4 months
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literally impossible for me to avoid the dean coded allegations. I drove 40 minutes to church (80! minutes! total!) despite planning to not like 80% because I forgot my slice of pie in my parents' fridge. the other 20% was not wanting to make breakfast.
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snekdood · 8 months
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south asian ppl being positive abt snakes > every culturally christian mf who uses “snake” to mean a “sneaky, scheming person”
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aylunas · 9 months
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sometimes it makes me really annoyed how fast the male characters in genshin become favoured by fans lmfao it’s so unfair 😭
#male character has a sad past: fans make intricate soulful art and fanfics abt them for years#female character has sad past: fans are like awwwwww:( and then forget abt them#like i can GUARANTEE u kaveh will have content created for him even months and months after his release#shenhe content after her story quest??? crickets. silence.#i would even argue that shenhe’s story was WAAAAAAAY sadder and heartbreaking but 🙄#idk it’s just so unfair that ppl aren’t as interested in women like ik this has been a pattern for YEARS and likely will never change but#it fills me w so much rage#women are always better they’re always more interesting GRRRRR#i feel like the reason i hate kaveh so much is because how unfairly he is loved by fans compared to other characters 😭#everytime i look at him i am simply reminded of colourism and another missed chance for a sickass design#i’ll literally never be over how much sumeru broke my heart lol it was actually so gutting 😭👍 i didn’t realise the colourism was gonna be#THAT bad and i didnt realise the fans were THAT colourist racist AND stupid#truly will never forget the ‘they’re in the forest where there’s no sun so they’re all white as fuck’ argument#can u believe that was real#anyways . anyways#ik everyone is sick of me talking abt this LOL it just rly annoys me because i liked this game sm before 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 and the fans r#everywhere so i get spammed w content of characters i Do Not Want To See 😭
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autistic-sidestep · 10 months
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what if
baby butch lesbian nehal
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meatmensch · 24 days
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If u rly wanna talk abt Roy in the hospital let's talk abt how he maybe took more painkillers than he should've between seasons 1 and 2 and Keeley had to bring him to the E.R. to get his stomach pumped
#sorry. i think about this sometimes#we know he wanted to die. we know. and we don't talk about it!!!#being a pro athlete with hella injuries and money i'm so sure he had drugs with which he could very easily end his life#i just think abt it sometimes. like. roy kent in his bathroom after retirement staring into the mirror trying to hype himself up to wash hi#face or take a shower or do anything at all but he really just can't stand to look at himself or feel his body because his life as he knew#it was over and he always knew he was gonna play until he couldn't then kill himself and having such an intense moment of depression and#hopelessness that he thinks you know what fuck it. go time kent.#and then keeley or maybe his sister finds him passed the fuck out in the bathroom and bring him to the hospital#and when he wakes up and sees them waiting for him and rememebers fuck fuck i have people that really do care about me and would miss me if#i was gone because i'm not just roy kent. i'm some loser called roy. and that doesn't fucking matter to me in fact it makes me wish i were#dead but it matters to these idiots#i think his sister would be stuck between wanting to kick his ass and being like he needs me to be cool rn things r so dire. she does hit#him with 'what am i going to tell your fucking niece' because she needs to talk some kind of sense into him and she's not a fucking saint#and it's a major wake up call and he realizes he needs to get his act even a little bit together because he has to stay alive and he#definitely can't go on as he has been#so he makes an effort to get the fuck out of the house. even if his knee hurts. even if he can only manage to put on sweats. even if he#can't be assed to shave.#and later on he starts helping out with phoebe's football team. because no one reminds u that life is fucking worth living like a bunch of#little kids - balls of joy and energy and shit. and ofc spending as much time as he can with phoebe is important to him#and his sister sits his ass down regularly and seriously asks him. how the fuck are you. be so real right now or i'll beat you. and he#doesn't say much but he tries to give her something and not lie too much.#and he still can't touch a fucking football or think about his career or even step foot inside the richmond facility but every day his will#to live is a little stronger. because he's roy fucking kent. he's here there and every fucking where and he's angry and he's spiteful and n#way he's letting down fucking phoebe and no way he's putting keeley and ruth through that again so when it gets hard he grinds his teeth an#sticks out his chest and fucking deals with it because the other option isn't a fucking option#and he sees jamie on tv and is reminded of how much he fucking hates him. and he feels a bit more like himself again. and phoebe's games ar#fucking fun to watch and keeley is funny and beautiful and no way he deserves her but for some reason he gets to see her face and make her#laugh every day and that must mean something. that must mean something#FUCK! my tags got cut off. there's more to this story hold on a fucking second#tw suicide
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whumpy-wyrms · 1 month
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hey guys
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hua-fei-hua · 9 months
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*flopped down on a couch w/a glass bottle of apple juice to make it look like i'm drinking beer*
yeah... yeah i'm fine.... just coming to terms w/the fact that i must use javascript in order to achieve my vision w/the neocities...
#the main reason i haven't just abandoned this particular aspect of the Vision(tm) is bc it would be useful for like.#more than one thing. so it's like. le sigh.#(reading the documentation for tippy tooltips tonight so that i can sleep on it n try to implement it tmrw or something)#why is it always js.... please god spare me at least a Little bit of suffering here i'll never sin again etc etc#speaking of sin i've started speaking more candidly abt my queerness w/the kids at work this week#it's nice to talk to the older kids (as in fifth grade or older) bc even tho like. nine years old is when they start to be tolerable#they lack awareness n life experience. today i told the older kids that i like men but in a gay way#n one of them was like 'i don't get it' n then i reminded her of Gender:tm: n she was like 'ohhhh i get it'#n the two guys also listening were like 'what. i still don't get it.' ONE OF THEM ASKED ME IF I WAS AMAB ACTUALLY LOL#n i was like 'what? that's not important.' but that was really surprising! kids usually read me as female#so it was kind of flattering in a way to be asked 'were you born a boy?' like idk how he's trying to process my gender#but i'm going to flatter myself into thinking the question comes from him like. idk clocking some kind of innate masculinity or w/e idk#花話#anyway it's Crazy that it took me almost a year to not feel like i'd get instantly fired for telling kids i'm queer#Not going to lie it really felt like i'd never get to this point but it really is kinda just once you start it gets easier#(though to be fair i also wouldn't have told Any of the kids Anything had one of them not started acting like 'gays' was a dirty word)#(n i just Looked at him n said 'you know i'm a queer right?' n he was like 'O_O')#when i worked at homophobic summer camp i do remember daydreaming abt telling my boss i was a 'flaming queer'#i'd have put my feet up on her desk n everything as i made direct eye contact w/her but ofc i never did anything like that.#anyway! i will slep now so that i can get back to work on my projects tmrw morning
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artnerd1123 · 3 months
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Anyway. Blorbos
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