#i was so angry i almost started crying

[beanghostprincess]

Sanji and Usopp during The Sabaody Incident™ won't leave my mind.

Usopp standing in front of Sanji protectively because he is wounded and he can't fight, so Usopp will do it for him ("I'll do what you can't do").

There is just something about Sanji's expression when he realizes he might actually lose Usopp. This is my interpretation, at least. He is literally frightened.

Usopp helping Sanji stand up to run away. This is crucial for something I want to point out later: Sanji needs help to stand up. (Also, Brook disappears trying to protect them both and saying he will do anything to save them even if it costs him his life. I am feeling sick).

Sanji being self-sacrificing and blaming himself for not being able to protect them/act sooner is not new. But he does manage to gain the strength to fight when Usopp is the only one left with him and the possibility of losing him is even more real now.

The thing that I love the most about this is not Sanji sacrificing himself for Usopp, because he does that. He is like that. But Usopp not running away or moving in the slightest because he refuses to leave Sanji on his own.

Something I'd like to point out too is that Sanji actually touches Kuma before Usopp disappears. He tries to fight and protect him and Kuma could've easily sent Sanji to Momoiro Island right away, and yet Sanji was just sent flying far from the scene and forced to see Usopp disappear in front of him.

And I am not saying that "not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew" but not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew.

Not to mention that we can't deny (right after Water 7/Enies Lobby) that Usopp is one of Sanji's strongest bonds within the crew. This specific scene focusing on them both is more than enough to prove it.

Sanji seeing Usopp disappear in front of his eyes without being able to do anything to save him.

Remember what I said about Sanji needing help to stand up seconds ago? Well. This is him the moment Usopp disappears. What adrenaline and the power of love do to a mf.

They are so "I can lose everything, but not you. Oh God, not you" shaped.

#sorry for bringing up sabaody i am sure nobody wants to think about it #but they mean the world to me and there is SO MUCH to unpack #we don't talk enough about this i think ????? #sanji spending two whole years having nightmares about not being able to save usopp. about seeing usopp disappearing in front of him #he still has them btw #sanji having to sleep with usopp post-ts because he is afraid of waking up and seeing he is gone #also i am having thoughts about brook protecting them and #and brook saying he will do anything to save them #because sanji has only heard that from zeff so......... so just thinking. i have thoughts. i told you brook is one of sanji's father figure #back to sanuso- thinking about how this whole scene despite having brook too is mainly focused on both sanji and usopp #thinking abt how the others disappear mostly focusing only on luffy's reactions but this emphasizes a lot sanji's attempts to save usopp #why would you give them a whole scene i am throwing up #sorry still thinking abt sanji apologizing to usopp for not being able to protect him or #or having nightmares he definitely has nightmares about it #and usopp just. staying with him and making him see that he is alright now. and letting him cry. #early post-ts kills me #still angry we don't have almost post-ts sanuso #i might start crying thinking abt them so it'll be better if just shut up and post this #one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso #sabaody

[alchemania]

“Don't you hate her?”

Furina turned, eyebrows raised in confusion. “Huh?”

“Your creator. Don't you hate her?”

The girl pondered a moment, looking unsure. “I..don't know.”

“You should,” he asserted. “All this time you had to suffer alone, for what?? People who didn't even care about the real you?? People who were ungrateful and selfish and only cared about themselves, at the end of the day??”

“Not everyone is like that,” Furina protested, shaking her head slowly. “I ..did suffer, but it all worked out in the end. Besides, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her-”

“The same could be said for my mother,” Wanderer interrupted, eyes flashing. “I came into being because of her, but that doesn't make her a good person, or a good parent. She hurt me. These two facts can coexist. Focalors created you, yes, but she also subjected you to 500 years of suffering where you couldn't confide in ANYONE or risk losing everything. Wasn't that awful?? Wasn't it a horrible time? You were all alone living on a hope and a prayer, and if it went wrong, it would have been all for nothing. You were a means to an end, and what do you have to show for it? Sure, everybody was saved and all was well, but now you're just - a person, and people hate you for what you did, people hate you for what you DIDN'T do. Was it worth it?? Are you satisfied?”

“I am,” she nodded, after a beat. “Because, this is what I was created to do. And, I'm free now. I don't know what I'm going to do, but at least my life is mine. I can do whatever I want. I can live.” Wanderer's jaw clenched, and Furina frowned, nervously. “..why are you so angry?”

“Because SOMEONE has to be!” he shouted, voice cracking. “I mean- I heard about the trial, they were gonna kill you- they lured you there because you wouldn't talk, right? And then after everything, did anyone apologize to you or- praise you, for all the hell you went through? Anything??”

“.. Neuvillette is taking care of me.”

The pain on Wanderer's face was almost palpable, at that.

“..anything else?”

“.. it's fine," she tried to appease. "It's not like I serve any purpose anymore. Like I said, I did what I was created to, so I'm not of any use and-”

“Stop.”

“..what?”

“STOP- talking like that,” Wanderer snapped, eyes suspiciously glossy. She sounded so much like him, who he used to be, and it hurt so badly.

A blank sheet of paper has infinite potential, but it is nothing as long as it is empty, he'd said, a good while ago. He'd been wrong about himself, and Furina was wrong now.

“You're not just - what you were made for. You don't - what happened to you is wrong. You're not DISPOSABLE now that everything is over.”

“It- it was for everyone's sake, compared to my suffering, it's obvious what's more important! I had to save them! It’s what I was born for! It doesn't matter -”

“It DOES,” he yelled, eyes glowing an almost neon icy blue, and she startled. “Stop acting like your suffering was something that was necessary. Stop acting like it was just for the greater good. That doesn't matter! The fact of the matter is that you suffered, and you were hurt, and you're STILL hurting! And- barely anybody is there for you..your creator, she should have been there for you, she should have protected you, but she didn't. She didn't. And you - you have every right to be angry with her, for not being there for you. For you being unable to live, until now. It was wrong, even if it was, as she claimed, for the greater good. Don't defend her.”

"She loved me-"

"And she left you, so not enough."

Just like my mother ..

“...Wanderer,” Furina ventured, worry all over her face.

“What?”

“You're crying…”

..oh. He hadn't even noticed, but his cheeks WERE wet, and he put a hand to one with a start, quickly scrubbing at his face. “Ah-” and he pulled his hat over his face, to hide it.

“..it was a lot. I often wondered when everything would end. I wanted, to tell someone so badly what was going on,” Furina admitted, and Wanderer looked up, eyes red from weeping. “There were a lot of times I didn't think I was going to make it, but. But I did, and, and everything was okay.”

“But are you?”

There was a long pause, and the two of them stared at each other until Furina slowly shook her head no, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

“See? You're - we're both so messed up, from everything, and no one was there,” Wanderer almost whispered, looking out the window. "No one was there to help. ..You're strong as hell, I'll give you that. If I was in your shoes, I don't know if I would have made it. It seems people are stronger than I've given them credit for..”

It was something that surprised him, again and again.

“I just don't understand why you care..”

“.. I don't know why I do,” he shrugged. “Maybe because you remind me of myself, and. It hurts, looking at you and feeling like I'm looking in the mirror. But someone has to be in your corner and -”

“And you want to do that?”

A pause.

“..Well, if you don't stand up for you, no telling who will.”

“You don't have to cry over me. I'm -”

“If you say you're not worth it, I am going to bodyslam you,” Wanderer growled, eyes flashing, and Furina put up her hands.

“I wasn't going to! I was going to say that I will be okay. Not now, but. Eventually. I'm healing. I promise. There's people who care, like you.”

Wanderer fell silent then, looking away, and she reached out and squeezed his hand. “Thank you. I'm still wrestling with - with what I want to do and where I'll go but. It's nice to know that I'm valued just for existing.”

“That's all you need to be valued,” he muttered, looking to the floor. “You don't have to prove the worth of your existence. It's fine to just be.”

“..are you talking to yourself, or me?”

He looked to her then, expression unreadable, and she smiled sadly, in understanding. “Both is good. It's okay to just be. We're here, and we'll be okay.”

“Yeah,” Wanderer whispered, giving a shaky breath. “..we will."

#screaming crying #i will probably go back and clean this up later but i just wanted to get it out there and start yelling #i think wanderer would be so so angry about what happened to furina and it just. weighs heavy on his heart and he's like god. GOD!!! #his heart is way squishier than he would like to admit he's ready to square up so quickly and had it not been for focalors being dead #oh BABY he'd have Some Words For Her #genshin impact #wanderer #furina #4.2 spoilers #AUGH I ALMOST FORGOT TO TAG SPOILERS SORRY SORRY #please god i am going to explode i am thinking so hard im in pain #ue ue ue ue ue #loved but left behind..... #a means to an end..you feel me... #im dyin scoob

[mycological-mariner]

My mother watched a documentary about the Endurance expedition and she’s already an angry woman but she was just straight up throwing curses and things at the screen

#I had no idea Ernest Shackleton would evoke such a response #I can almost feel pity for the wrath the wrought upon the telly #mildly frightened of her at all times #like why are you yelling at the screen he’s dead he can’t hear you #she’s a strange woman. #she finds polar exploration mildly interesting but not enough to be invested #and yet she started yelling at ME?? #like I had something to do with the fucking Endurance mission???? #not beating the Angry Redhead Allegations #I’ve never seen someone so MAD #over a guy who died nearly a century ago #I didn’t even get to drop any 10hr Fun Facts #im crying with laughter and fear

[hauntedwoman]

this entire trip back to texas for the wedding i have realized my dad is so autistic and that's literally the only thing wrong with him

#last night i was so stoned and he came up to me asking where my mom was and pretended to be angry at me and when i almost started crying #he laughed and said he was joking #and i was standing there paralyzed and shaking like a tiny dog #this man has absolutely no self awareness or any idea how his emotions affect others #i'm terrified of him #(he also has a huge train collection and MASSIVE comic cook collection that takes up easily four huge bookcases) #how did i not see this before

[aberooski]

I'm seriously hanging on by a thread right now I might just go drop dead 😭

#work has just been really overwhelming today I'm going to crack #I hate people #I almost broke down in front of the usher manager today because our radio died while we were falling behind becaus3 #one of the theatres got out slightly late and set us back for like 45 minutes because everything was gettinf out one on top of the other #on complete opposite ends of the theater #amd it's not a small building guys #and I was already angry because there was a huge spill in a theater earlier I had to get a mop for and it was a pain in the ass #then we started falling behind and when we fall behind I get really stressed so I jad to ask the usher manager for help to catch up when we #were switching radios and even with his help we didn't catch back up until JUST NOW because we're on a 30 minute set break #and I've jusy been stressing and running around the theater and I want to go home and cry and drop dead #I'm so hot and tired and drained amd my legs have been sore for DAYS and this is NOT helping and I hate it here and I qant a real job #like I'm fucking 24 years old this shouldn't be the best I can do but trying to find anything else to get out of here has been IMPOSSIBLE #and I just feel so hopeless and helpless and trapped and miserable #I'm so angry and sad and tired and in pain and miserable all the time now #and it's awful and I hate it I don't wanna be that wah anymlre #I can't even type oh my god #I'm dying #abby's having a crisis

[mrfoox]

The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers

#miranda talking shit #I cant say id be having a good and normal life if i wasnt abused as a young child but im 90% sure I'd not have this must trouble #Id still have my autistic and add problems but my anxiety and depression would definitely be a lot better #Its... Insane. That my older brothers probably have no idea how much they have actually ruined my life/mental state from such an earlh age #As 4 yrs old... Hell they might not even remember it or even think it was a 'big deal'. I know my second oldest brother probably falls into #The latter. I know now that they both most likely have undiagnosed adhd/autism and they used me as a way to act out/feel better #But being told youre stupid. Fat. Ugly. Useless from the age of 4 like... I cant stress how much it have ruined my self image #Ive tried to build confidence in myself and love myself since my teens and i can barely say im 'avarge' without doubting it #Like they also hit me but that's nothing compared to the mental torture i had to go through on an almost daily basis #Funniest thing is that bc it happened/started when i was so young i didnt think it was... Bad or weird or abnormal. #I started crying when my parents told me to go tell my brothers it was dinner time. I was terrified of knocking on their doors #I still to this day 20 years later am still incredibly uncomfortable and anxious talking with them and i havent been able to make much of #An relationship with them bc of it. Im scared to say anything to them even if its simple shit. And men/boys in general ive thus been #Terrified of since i was young. Once again i thought it was normal to mistrust and be scared of men until i was in my teens #I wish i could hate them i wish i could be angry i wish i had someone to blame #But no my brain is too nice and give excuses to them. Their actions are excused. They have ruined me mentally but thats not their fault #Fuck that might be true but they were still 6 and 11 years older than me. I didnt have a chance to protect myself in any way #I wish someone saw i wasnt okay. I wish someone understood that i wasnt well. I wish someone saw me. #Negative #Abuse

[girlwithfish]

it still makes me sad and its only been like 20 hrs since i found out asleep for 6 of those hrs so yeah idk i think I've processed it. maybe i hate conflict maybe i am too forgiving or naive or trusting maybe i just want stability maybe its just i love him so im willing to forgive not sure.. i dont rly feel much abt it if i dont think abt it too much

#i guess i considered it to be a dealbreaker possible relationship ender before like this morning when i was dealing w it on my own #while he was asleep and it was lonely and i cried twice or three times in tbe bathroom #i was in denial at first thinkjng maybe its not that bad then thought about it more and more #then cried #and then i was up for four hours just thinking abt it and it was worse bc i didnt know anything and so i didntk now the extent of it #or anythjng or if there was more and i wanted to die so bad #idk #i feel better and closer bc we talked it out for hours and #maybe i should have been more angry. i was just hurt at first and started crying when i confronted him and then i just felt emotionless but #heard hjm out and his handling of it made me trust him more bc at least he came clean and was honest and #took accountability bc i wouldnt have continued w this if he had kept lying or trying to downplay it idk #It sucks but i forgave him i think and believe him and if i dont think abt it ican almost pretend. it feels weird bc im used to being able #to trust him nd hve never really questioned much despite my relationship anxiety and anxiety abt getting cheated on #i just never thought anything like that wluld happen to me so. ifeel stupid a bit but idk

[elytrafemme]

i'm starting to wonder if therapy is going to be productive because no matter what happens i'm probably going to experience this every night of my fucking life

#neg #was out with friends and having a lot of fun! cramps but it was okay i was like. good #and then one of my friends and i were talking and i tried to make a comment about how i liked hanging out w him #but he didn't hear me so he kept talking abt what we were discussing before #and like. blood ran cold i physically felt sick and almost started crying #and now i'm like. completely in the depths of devastation again. over him. i can't fucking function. #and i had all these plans to like get dinner tonight too and take care of myself and do work #but now i'm like. stuck thinking about him. and this happens so often. #there's just no fucking point anymore huh. #and we're going to hang out this weekend a lot and into this upcoming week and this next month and the next year and then 2024 and #like i can't do that. sorry. i can't fucking do that. #i'm not even angry at him anymore it's just. he makes it hurt so bad. #and it's physical pain too every night it's fucking excruciating #because the devastation is both numbing and it cuts into me like a blade in my chest blunt edged but constant pressure #i can't do this forever. i can't. #but there's never a breaking point. it never changes. it's constant. #i'll wake up tomorrow okay. like nothing ever happened. #why did he talk to me so much today why couldn't he leave me the fuck alone #it would have been easier if he didn't. how does he. he has to know this is happening right? #so why is he doing this to me?

[tittyinfinity]

Can't find the post now, but if you're arguing with a bigot, take it to their DMs or ask box instead of flooding your trans followers' dash with it for fucks sake

#it's almost always dogging on trans women #i have it much easier bc although im agender im not on hormones and ppl dont assume im trans looking at me #so i dont deal w real life transphobia unless i say something about it #and at that point i just walk away bc if i get too angry ill start crying lol #.bdo

[medicseyebrow]

my mom is trying to make me feel better about our cat being sick, and I know being on antidepressant withdrawal is making feel like the world is ending, but I can’t help being upset whenever I pet him. He barely eats anymore and just sits in the corner most of the day. He’s old so it makes sense, but shit sucks and I hate it

#I’ve been so sad and angry for the past month #I almost started crying at work after I spilled fucking. Cinnamon on the counter

[mirmidones]

ya girl managed to behave herself for almost the entirety of the thing. by the end though i was cracking jokes left and right and laughing at them myself like a true clown

#at first though i got so angry i almost started crying #x

[non-un-topo]

If I keep having nightmares I’m gonna have to start writing another horror thing, right? Like I can’t let these plots go to waste

#hi yeah i have nightmares almost every night. been like this since childhood. maybe i have a sleep disorder...? #last night's feature involved me going through boxes in a closet inside a house that wasn't mine #and a bunch of women sitting in the room and chatting. i was apparently opening some haunted shit but none of them warned me. #some girl approached my pile of closet things and picked up a bowling ball and started playing w it like she'd never seen one before #and she sort of threatened to bash my head in with it. ofc i got freaked out and angry and tried to send her away. #i started to realize that things were moving. like objects and lights in really subtle ways. then realized all the women were looking at me #and they were completely silent. i realized i'd disturbed some spirit and it was angry. i started crying etc #i think the women were witches?? and for some reason i was looking for my mom for years? #anyway yeah don't touch a dead girl's dolly. #it was one of those dreams that just felt like dread. like there was nothing i could do to escape the situation i was in. like predestined. #i've been to therapy ik all the reasons i still dream like this it's v obvious #i only woke up because things were getting really intense and my partner ran out of toilet paper so they were texting me hgfdghj #maybe i should stop rambling and just actually write another horror fic because i really miss it and there's a lack of scary shit on ao3. #oh how can i damage nicky and booker this time

[apelcini]

the vice principal is so fucking mad a student tried to kill himself on school time and she is absolutely taking it out on me

#suicide tw #on monday he told me to tell one of our close friends and she ran to the bathroom and started crying #and the next morning i got in trouble for ‘’unnerving other students’’ #sorry not sorry i did it on school grounds at the end of the day #would you rather me shoot her a text message when she’s at home with nobody but her christian parents to comfort her #texting her like ‘’hey lol you won’t believe what irrevocable tragedy almost happened’’ #fuck u #‘’you have to think about the community environment’’ i don’t have to give two shits actually #people think that just because i don’t cry that i’m not hurting too #i become an acceptable target for their blame because nobody wants to be angry at a suicidal kid that makes them feel bad #but i’m the one who gets in the same trouble he does #so they can blame the whole situation on me #because i’m not sad and fragile just angry and restless so clearly i’m stable and just defiant

[flovverworks]

brief pt2 spoilers, but i was thinking about the first few chs of pt2 again. partly cuz whenever i rmbr "the wizards transformed into girls one time & kids another time cuz they dislike vincent" it makes me laugh. i saw fanart of akira w kid!wizards and went haha thats cute, then i read the chapter. u can imagine my surprise

but it always gets me thinking about the following conversation of 'the wizards will behave this time right' 'uhhhhh......probably...?' 'sir sage they Have to behave' 'well if vincent was nice to them theyd be nice back...' + how those chs especially was very..."these ppl thinks akira can control the wizards" (not only the ppl akira ends up speaking directly with, but also general ppl w power that akira cant reach), when akira (multiple times) has reiterated how while they do wish the northern wizards could get along they realize they have their own experiences and cant force them to do something (+feeling somewhat bad they have to live at the manor together). they dont want to do that already, but they also realize that ummm good luck with that frankly. so it just ends up like a lil "haha u sure do think so" to me whenever its brought up ppl r worried "who" has the power of oz & mithra, when its like......ya they do go along with things akira asks of them (more so in the case of oz), but those have always been relatively smaller scale things?! + if the command line went someone -> akira -> oz/mithra i dont think theyd like that either LOLT_T (disregarding the topic of the sages books and symphony) its very much the. akira treating them like friends rather than some ulterior motive of making them do their bidding

->cue brads sages heart ch. they listen to the sages heart. which in turn makes me think again of those concepts where the last fight with the moon didnt go that badly->no one has a reason to stay together at the manor->akira probably only befriends the ppl there+arthur. like at the end of the day (to me !) it feels very, Because the situation is what it is, and Because akira takes care to listen to them, they end up building that trust. its all about love !!!!!! (akira nvr orders anyone either its always a question......

#stardust speaking ! #also cuz i think its funny when akira met up with the northern wizards w/ vincent and the first thing #akira did was compliment them & tell them they were scared of them to put them in a good mood #and then vincent goes 'who is the strongest' and akiras all '?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!STOP!?!?!?!?' SISJSKWKWKQNAKJD #vincent & owen talking about arthur was unreal btw. also snow getting angry &white going 'beloved brother he literally agreed use ur ears' #those first chs truly was a rollercoaster in feelings. i was thinking aboit them cuz i was gonna start rereading but #ive been so busy today..T_^ tmrw maybe #other things ive been thinking about is that scene when shylocks heart starts burning and akira is so distressed #'what if u put ur hands on his chest maybe' (akira does it in panic to the rests despair) #'im used to burning' faust u............ough that being the part when he uses akiras name too #WHEN I REREAD IM GONNA NOTE DOWN when they use akiras name. important info (to me #also i get shylock being mad at oz but also it gets me so Woah & excited considering he #kinda Very Much Knows oz almost killed murr. makes me dizzy. but u go shylock #theres sm drama within the first half alone like theres no way akira Didnt cry more. considering they cried when #all the stress was over at the end of 2nd anni. pt2 start is TERRIBLE (positive)

[shibe]

in the middle of a bad ocd relapse and i’m doing all the things i shouldn’t but….❤️

#aughhhh #i’m pain shopping constantly #i know that it’s bad for me and i tell myself to stop and i’ll do good for a week or two #and then i get the urge again after getting triggered and im back to reading and looking and comparing and failing and failing and failing #my ego isn’t so….damaged anymore where i feel the need to prove that im ‘better’ #because honestly who cares if i am or if im not #there’s a chance i’m not! i just have to live with that possibly being true #and that’s almost okay until i start to wonder if this will be my ‘forever’ #i just can’t stop thinking about why it had to be like this #like i’m young and stupid and who knows what else but it feels so LOSERISH #like wow? this hurt me this badly? this? like i haven’t been through tougher things #but no! THIS is what makes you miserable this is what you carry around everyday this is what makes you flinch everytime you try to be #intimate or sexy or whatever else #god i’m such a loser #and you know? i don’t get angry anymore #i don’t point fingers or lay down and cry victim #i am good at keeping it to myself i am good at making it not noticeable even when im on the brink of biting my tongue off #it doesn’t go away! #i know too much and i think about it all the time #you know my memory isn’t great especially when it comes to stuff that happened but wow i haven’t forgotten one detail #it feels so girlfailure to be so broken over this and i can’t even admit it to anyone besides my therapist #oh yeah lol this happened and this probably has happened to like the majority of people but it has #genuinely changed how i perceive others and myself and i have not felt comfortable in my own body since #LOL!