#i was wondering why tumblr was being so trippy

[mmuffncakes]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @voidcat-senket who is a wonderful person defo check them out!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

15, shockingly.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 142,962, which 60k of that is towards yeehaw/shadow currently.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Star Wars, but I do write for L4D2 on tumblr!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Love In An Elevator - a VERY old SpiderVenom fic that is by far probably my legacy on a03 despite it having been abandoned back in 2016. It was mainly a massive fluff piece of Eddie and Peter falling in love while meeting each other in the elevator of their shared apartment complex and soon enough, Eddie's past comes back to haunt him. There was a time where I had planned to make a 3-parter to finish it, and I lost that outline for it years ago and just never had the motivation to write it again.

2. Burnt Coffee - Another fluffy SpiderVenom of them waking up together post sex and just enjoying each other's presence. Another very old one. But it was a short and sweet one-shot that even I still read back on to this day.

3. Pipe - This was a Corvo/Outsider fic that was based around a single tweet from Harvey Smith about how Corvo would, on the occasion, smoke a pipe for something special. So I wrote about Wyman proposing to Emily and them becoming engaged and Corvo smoking a pipe as a celebratory thing. There he's visited by Outsider and some trippy vague sex happens and the god spends the night. This was probably the fic that really solidified my repetitive writing style that I still use today.

4. Pluvial - Another Dishonored fic. This one was written post the first game, with uncertain chaos ending of just the Outsider giving Emily her first meeting with him. It was more of a character study into the two and was before the novel and the second game had been announced. I had planned on making a sequel years ago called Petrichor, but never got around to it. I'm now realizing that 2/3rds of my Dishonored fics are titled with the letter P.

5. This Isn't Bourbon - I'm actually... shocked that this is the next one for Kudos. This is a short Modern AU fluff one-shot of Ronin and Tara from the movie Epic. Where Ronin fucks up on asking for a Bourbon Old Fashioned and asks for chocolate milk because he's smitten with the bartender (Tara). I wrote this one in a night when I SHOULD have been working on a project. To be honest, I was shocked this one even got up as high as it did for anything, as it was just a silly little thing. But then again, the Ronin/Tara people are hungry for anything,

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do respond to comments! I don't get to all of them, but I do try to respond to all of them. Certain ones on old fics (like Love in an Elevator) I tend not to as they're just reminiscing on the fic being left alone. But if I post something new or I'm just flattered by the comment (wHICH TO BE FAIR, I'm always flattered???? some of y'all are too fucking nice), I try my best to respond! Interaction is always fun for me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

OH FUCK that would be Birdcall! I had been playing L4D2 once and everyone had died (playing realism mode, so no respawns) and Ellis caw-caw'd out expecting a return (as if the team gets separated they'll caw-caw back, or at least Coach will?), and never got one as the team was dead. So I decided to write up a literal all hurt no comfort fic of the team dying one by one and Ellis have to make it through the Parish chapter himself. And when he gets to the end of the game and onto the helicopter, he gets excited and turns to tell the team but remembered he was the only one left alive. I cried typing it ngl.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

If we're talking the longer fics I have, that would be Connor Get Your Priorities Straight, an Assassins Creed 3 collection I did of Connor and Mason Wheems connecting and falling in love over the course of a year. Each chapter was written during the season/weather I was currently experiencing (since the game took place near home of good ol' Boston) and was just them living their lives. And of course, it ends up with them together .

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Since moving to AO3, I have not received any hate. I used to get a lot of hate back on fanfic.net from the infamous Fox Familiar if anyone knows of her. And then some general odd hate in ways of mockery from others. But since moving from there, I've received none, and let me tell you it helped a LOT with the self-esteem with writing as I was still a minor when I got the hate.

9. Do you write smut?

I doooooo~ On occasion, for the most part. I've done a few PW/oP's and then emotional PW/P's. Of all the longer pieces I have none have smut chapters (very soon to that changing). I've come to realize, however that my best smut is when I write it as like, an experience, rather than explicitly. It's about the intimacy, the connection, the feelings, the experience, rather than just Person A does this to Person B. Person B does this to Person A. Which, do not get me wrong, I still love it when I see it, and it's a VERY fun way to read and write, but I find that I struggle with that style. So weird experimental stuff it is!

10. Do you write crossovers?

I could. I don't think I've ever written a crossover outside of roleplay? But I haven't yet!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ONCE. There was that HUGE breach a few years back on AO3 where a bunch of peoples fics got stolen onto a website that requires you to pay to even look at it, and I had to send like 3 e-mails to customer support with a copy-paste about stuff. This was back in like... I think 2019? And they'd nagged I think my Uncharted fics and my SpiderVenom ones.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not! I do know that I have a few Spanish speaking readers (who've made a few comments before) that I would love to translate the fic for, but I know I'm not skilled enough in Spanish (and the Spanish I know is Puerto Rican-slanged Spanish) to do so. I know, in time, I do plan on writing a fic in Irish once I get better at the language (I'm still learning!).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not! It's something I think about a lot when it comes to my friends and such, writing something together but I have no idea if I can beat my walls down to let someone else take over on things when it comes to how I write and such. It's SUCH a thing for me. In time, I would love to. Where I'm at right now? Probably not.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

All-time??? Gosh. I think, of all the ships I have, there's one I keep coming back to, regardless of time and place, it's something that I think of so much and how much I joke about how it's the blueprint for all future ships of mine, and that's Corvo/Outsider. It's the one I think of the most between all my hyper fixations, and it was one of the first ships that my partner and I had gotten into and done so much with before we even started dating. And to this day it is an important ship to the two of us.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Love In An Elevator. I feel like it's awful parent, neglecting it for years despite the fact I had written out a whole 3-parter outline to finish it up. Maybe, in time, I may try to again, down the line. But it would be a wild jump from 2016 writing and 2023 writing as I went through an entire degree and developed more and more of my writing style. But I lost motivation for it years ago. So there's always this hesitation of "Oh I'll pick it up!" and then I sit there knowing I would end up dropping it again.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't know. From my point of view, there's always things to improve upon. I've come to discover, with the recent writing of shadow of the mountain, that I've got a good voice for many of the characters, understanding their motivations, their tones, etc. And I find that my sense of writing pure dread and fear tends to work well as that's something I've been working on in ttrpg horror campaigns. (Hi Barq, I still think about the time I genuinely scared you and I'm still very VERY SORRY, I LOVE YOU)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Planning. I have only recently started making outlines for my works. And even then, I don't follow it to a T as I tend to keep adding and adding. ALSO, FUCKING COMMAS. I USE THEM TOO MUCH! SOMEONE STOP ME.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's a situational thing. Certain things, like shouting out surprised ( "DIOS MIO!" for example) is fine, as it's part of being bilingual. I found myself shouting in Irish the other day at someone who cut me off! Without even thinking! As well as if the other person is also speaking in that language, go for it. But those fics where the character says something in a language that they had never spoken in in cannon without the explicit headcannon being mentioned, and then all of a sudden "oh sorry, I forgot you don't speak that"/"oh sorry, it's hard to switch out sometimes", I DUNNO MAN, rubs me the wrong way. This is also coming from someone who has English as their first language and is currently learning Irish through an app, and Puerto Rican Spanish through proxy of partner's family. But that language stuff CAN work, it just has to be in the right setting and make sense.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First one I wrote for on AO3 that wasn't me moving things over from fanfic.net was actually Uncharted! But over all, from years ago? Wee me who was probably 14 or something? Either Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

That would be the one I'm currently working on: shadow of the mountain. This is the first BIG fic I've written in a long time. The last big one being to catch smoke for the Dishonored Big Bang 2017, of which feels tiny in comparison to the current one. Shadow has been such a test of my skills to where I joked about "nothing is a coincidence" to the point where I had to make a tag for it because of how much intertwining and interweaving this fic has with itself. There's still so much I haven't fully revealed yet and so much I've hinted at (that some have caught on to) that I'm just--it feels good to write it. It feels good to push myself to something so intricate for each and every detail since the very first sentence. I can't wait to finish it.

Tag 20 people: TWENTY? THAT'S SO MANY. i think senket tagged some of you already but im retagging :D @nightingalesighs @etoiline @missinkylace @xenalistair (DO THIS FOR YOUR ART <3) @paper-crane-castles . I got 5. Meg ain't got a fuckin tumblr so I can't assault her with it.

#ask meme #a03 meme #20 questions #this took me an hour to write out #senket i hope youre happy

[ofweave]

8, 9, 17! :D

rpc / fandom talking points.

8. reblog karma

i'm not the biggest fan. i understand why it came about as a concept — it doesn't feel good to get a bunch of notifications only to see everyone reblogging a meme from you and not getting anything in your inbox, especially if it keeps happening! but i feel like people got super guilt - trippy and strict about it and i personally just cannot bring myself to care that much about tumblr roleplay (though i of course respect it if you have it in your rules to only rb from the source). if i reblog a meme you like but you don't see anything that would work between my muse and yours you can definitely just nab it straight from me if you don't feel like going the extra step of reblogging it from the source.

9. personal blogs

likes asks and comments from personal blogs? wonderful stuff. reblogs, especially since it's always always always without fail some stupid post i'd rather would not escape containment? horrible, i hate it when it happens. the roleplaying side of tumblr has its own etiquette thats a bit different from the rest of this site and if i had my way the two worlds wouldnt collide lol.

17. fanon interpretations

disclaimer it's not that deep let people have fun. but now that thats out of the way i can admit that generally i find it really annoying when a fanon interpretation becomes so popular it overrides canon. there are definitely cases where a fanon is more like a collective fix it ( especially when it comes to canon portrayals being bigoted or stereotypical ) but often times it's not that, it's just people being reductive or taking some joke, one - off or recurring, too far. also i do think a fanon interpretation and being canon divergent are two different things, though they can definitely overlap.

#out of spell slots / ooc. #juramentum #thank youu!

[faustandfurious]

My notes are full of people reblogging my three most popular posts and adding wholly unnecessary additions like

Radfem opinions. Just don’t. I will block you

Men’s Rights Activist opinions. Just don’t. You’re even more annoying than the radfems

Incorrect attempts, made by USAmericans, to correct my grammar, which is correct according to the rules of British English because not everyone speaks American ya twerps

«Merry was the reason why Eowyn could kill the Witch-king» No, hobbits don’t exist, now please go away

«I agree with this post but you said that pronouns equals gender so I’m going to call you a transphobe» I said in that reblog you never bothered to read, that pronouns often are a good literary shorthand for indicating a person’s gender identity, and if a character uses she/her pronouns consistently without anything else ever being specified about her gender, the average reader is going to assume she identifies as a woman or something close to that. Now shut up and go away

«You said that gender equals pronouns, which means you agree with us radfems» I’m literally genderfluid, Karen. Also, see above

Rambles that are somehow belligerent and off-topic at the same time. Please make your own post, it would make this easier for both of us

People assuming I only read fanfiction or YA because I sometimes blog about fandom stuff, because if it’s not on your Tumblr, it must not exist, which also explains why performative reblogging of guilt-trippy posts about social issues has taken the place of actually logging off the internet and doing something IRL

Anyway I think I’m going to stop sharing my opinions on more general fandom topics that have potential to go semi-viral, and only ever have very strong opinions on obscure shit that two to three of my mutuals understand, because dealing with the cesspool that is Fandom Discourse outside the borders of the peacefully Shire-like Silmarillion fandom just drains the joy out of being in online fandom. I’m tired. There are still undeleted radfem anons in my inbox. Far too many people have nothing better to do than taking up residence as toxic presences in online spaces. I wonder if they’re ever happy, or if what we see is simply the outward projection of their abject misery.

#feanor speaks #don’t reblog

[in-superbloom]

okay so. i never really did a review (feels weird to call it a review tho so let's say a very opinionated essay that's totally the opposite of what college taught me) for wfttwtaf but i never really know how to do that for any album, doesn't matter how much it makes me feel feelings, bc i simply can't write about my own emotions in cohesive thoughts ✌🏻😔

so instead, i let my brain do this thing he usually does when i listen to an album that leaves an effect on me, which is pretty much just creating visuals for the songs bc apparently my feelings translate better into images/vibes rather than words lmao but since i am unfortunately not skilled to drawn/paint/created actual visual stuff, i just wrote them so i'm gonna leave them here bc why not <3

i just really love when music (art in general, but especially music for me) makes your mind run wild & be so inspired that you can't help but create something based on that feeling <3 a great example of that is the amount of art everyone here (on tumblr!sos verse, but also tumblr & the internet in general) create based on other peoples' art & i just *clenches fists* really love that 💜

anyways !! if you're reading this, i hope this makes sense to you & if you wanna chat about the album, my mail box is always open 💜

• track one: starting line – like the mv, but he's running like he's trying to get away from something, always looking behind his shoulder, stumbling on things/people on the streets. also maybe not flying?;

• track two: saigon – then he reaches a tiny but unique/eye-catching door, gets intrigued & enters. he has to go downstairs through a dark and narrow corridor, he hears muffled music coming down there. he reaches the door & the music is now clear, it looks like there are disco balls everywhere ((pink, blue and purple bc ofc)), the place is packed with people dancing & just vibing™. he goes to the dancefloor, but soon it gets overwhelming so he tries to reach a wall or the other end of the club, but he can't. the more he walks, the furthest he feels from the walls. everything has a psychedelic look, also some of those trippy effects he used on motion, and no one seems to notice/ care about him. this goes on until the end of the song, then he finally finds a door ((not the one he came from)) and opens it;

• track three: motion – he expects to find a street, but instead he's inside a room. it's a bit dark, all he sees are shadows, but then suddenly everything turns into an explosion of colors ((when the songs picks up in the beginning)), all dancing in front of him, making him feel lost & dizzy. he keeps walking, but every now and them he stumbles on something ((random things like animals or weird props or stuff that aren't supposed to be alive, but are)). he admires everything with a childlike wonder, touches things and then they turn into something else, or change form/shape/color. in the end, he's distracted looking at something and then falls like the floor reached an end;

• track four: place in me – he fell right there where he is in the mv/visualizer, it goes on like that;

• track five: baby blue – make it look like he fell asleep after the end of place in me, so he's very confused when he wakes up & it looks like the place is falling apart, like end of the world type ((like the lamentis thingy on loki)). things are exploding & he can see another planet very close to the one where he is. it's a bit scary but it's a breathtaking view nonetheless. he's mesmerized, but also kinda already accepted his fate? he's not trying to run to find a shelter/salvation or anything, just watching it all fall apart. at the end, he stops, turns around & looks at the path that he was walking ((full of nature things colored in every shade of blue and also glittery dust)) and he's just admiring it when he's hit by a big rock maybe? or a moon, who knows;

• track six: repeat – he's throw away to somewhere that's not collapsing, it looks like a pathway in the woods? but like, no florest too near, and it's sunny but not too warm, and the path is filled with green grass and flowers. he lands in a place that looks like a field but not quite. and then after walking for a while, he finds himself, but another version of him. maybe a younger one or an older one or both? like, they both just stop and stare at each other and kinda do this lil dance of trying to touch the other & watching the other, both a lil frightened but completely intrigued. maybe the older version of him? ooooh maybe it starts with an older version, but then every time present luke gets distracted by something else or turns around for a second, the other luke is getting younger, until he's just a lil kid. the ending is the mini luke offering his hand for present luke to grab, so he can lead him to a house that was near where they were. ((or maybe mini luke makes him run after him));

• track seven: mum – luke enters the house & immediately recognizes it as the house he grew up in. every step he takes, a wall or an object or a room brings a memory & it plays it out like a hologram. lots of memories. then in the guitar solo part, he finds a guitar in the room where he used to play the most when he was a kid ((maybe some cool&cute effects going around him, representing the sound coming from the guitar)). before the solo ends, you can see a shadow in the threshold of the door, and when he finished the guitar solo, luke turns around and smiles, getting up to hug the person ((it's his mum)) but maybe you never actually see her face?;

• track eight: slip away – he steps out of his childhood house and enters this big dark room. there's only a lil blue light coming from the very center of the room. when he gets closer to it, he sees it's a lil star, who looks very scared. as soon as she notices him ((he tries to reach her)) she runs out of the door on the other side of the room. he's worried&intrigued so he follows her, but when he opens the door, he immediately falls, this time he's in what looks like the clouds ((blue hues ofc but clearer ones, not as dark shades like the ones in place in me & baby blue)), and soon he finds out he can "swim" through them. he does that for a while until he sees the lil star and tries to follow her again. this goes on until he finally gets close to her, but when he touches her, she literally slips from his grasp bc he's being teleported again ((but make it look like she's the portal));

• track nine: diamonds – it starts with a close up on the water maybe? and then the camera keeps getting higher & suddenly he falls into it and soon the camera follows. he's distorted for a bit, especially when he notices he's already too deep into the water, away from the surface. then he tries to swim to the surface, but there's a bunch of things?? or like weird and mean seapeople maybe? trying to drag him down ((kinda like that scene on harry potter & the goblet of fire)). he tries his best to fight them, but what gets him away from them is a group of nice seapeople who came to his rescue. then they all swim away from the place they were ((also maybe slip in some diamonds or things that look like them around there?));

• track ten: a beautiful dream – he reaches a lil city? under water with the help of the nice seapeople & then there's this piano on the ground ((maybe covered in seaweed and stuff like that)) and he's immediately drawn to it. he plays/sings the song ((maybe like the guitar effects in mum, the sounds coming from the piano affect the place around him even tho it looks like he barely notices it)). when the song is finishing, he notices a white light coming from the surface. he looks at it & then follows it;

• track eleven: bloodline – then he's getting out of the water? at some beach perhaps? he's slowly getting out of the water & there's this beautiful sunrise behind him. he's singing along, looking like he just came out of a battle but at the same time he's in peace with himself, looking not exactly happy but relieved. he's walking on the beach, making his way home but he's not in a hurry. then in that lil bit in the end of the song, he gets out of the frame after looking straight to the camera maybe?? and the camera focuses on the sunrise and then everything goes black;

• track twelve: comedown – he wakes up in a bed ((like, this is him waking up from all these dreams)) & he's slightly confused bc the dreams felt so real, but he's feeling better & not so lost anymore. he goes out in a walk that maybe shows every place he was in his dreams? but like, this time you see what they really are bc every place in his dreams was inspired by a real location/thing, just reimagined. but like, he doesn't enter anywhere, he's just walking & you can see the places on both sides of the street. like, it's clearly a set up location but it's just representative. maybe you can see some of his friends/family at some of these locations or maybe they're all together in one place? but they don't look at him, they're just talking&laughing with each other. he looks happy, at ease & he's smiling, wearing a yellow or gold shirt. in the end, he reaches a cliffside maybe? somewhere that leads you to think that he'll go through another portal, but then he suddenly stops, looks down at the cliffside and crouches down bc he saw the lil blue star from slip away but it's now a necklace. he picks it up, with a small&easy smile and then looks at the camera, gives a bigger, real smile, gets up and turns around, going back to where his friends&family are, but the camera stays there, just watching him go.

// now some notes bc i love to over explain myself //

• the "water" one was supposed to be slip away, but alison @bandsanitizer was talking about a beautiful dream these days & said that something about the song reminds her of a sonar-like sound & the idea of searching for something, so that got me thinking about the ocean & relating it to this song and it also makes a lot of sense with what the album represents in my mind, so it made me change that. thank you for that miss alison, it's always a pleasure to read your thoughts 😌💜

• & it also fitted well with the “i can't fight the bloodline living in the seams back home” line from bloodline, so i wanted that one to be related to the water as well bc that's all i can think about when i hear that lyric;

• something in common that appears in every single one: an object or something related to time, since it's the big common theme on the whole album;

• in each song he's wearing the same outfit he wore in the starting line mv (white tee + black pants + converse) but in each one of them, that red shirt is in a different color;

• i had the visuals from starting line to mum very clear in my head on my first listen of the album, but i only truly finished writing all of this yesterday bc i wanna listen to halsey's new album and see if my brain does this thing again, but i wanted to finish wfttwtaf first <3

& that's it bc i already talked too much for a day lmao if you read all of this, you're a true hero & i love you <3 have a nice day 💛

#some trippy and weird thoughts brought to you by my weird brain <3 #with the incentive of the twinkling blue lights in my room that i was staring at when i first heard the album <3 #there's like. a lot of meaning behind these things if you really look into it #& i could probably rant about them but let's not do that bc i feel like this is way too much already #i've literally been formatting & fixing this for an hour now and this was supposed to be quick #so that's another lesson for me about how i truly can't shut my mouth about anything ✌🏻😌 #but i enjoyed writing this so. yeah <3 #can you tell i'm a frustrated kid bc i love to create stuff like this & actually make something out of it #but i currently can't so i just write & daydream & cry </3 #*sighs as a sad girl living in a small & very non-artistic town* #lrh + wfttwtaf #anna talks music #wfttwtaf #anna talks luke

[sp-ud]

Now that I'm free from tumblr post limit hell, I'm just gonna shove all the notes i made while unable to post.

I was watching bbh's stream

Also I said a lot so let's get a readmore B) spoilers for bbh's dec 11th stream

Alright time to hit that copy paste

• The egg saw bbh choosing skeppy over bbh so it took skeppy

• Why can't I make drafts when I've hit the post limit this is stupid

• Chat stop telling bbh to kiss skeppy

• Kinda hope the egg gets freed and bbh and skeppy are on the same side again

• Lol skeppy said fuck

• Skeppys red skin is so ugly but at least mans changed it and is dedicated

• Lmao hes talking to skeppy like a dog

• I wonder what my parents think im listening to rn, they can probs only hear the screaming

• Does this mean skeppy was hatched from the egg?

• Not skeppy being on twitter in the middle of rp

• I cant believe Twitter is canon

• Me looking at all the posts I can't rb: :(

• Skeppys only fine with the egg being destroyed because of the obsidian needs to be destroyed first lmao

• IS BBH GONNA KISS PUFFY? DIVJEKSNF LOVE OVERCOMES? NAH JEALOUSY DOES IN THIS HOUSE

• I put some roleplay in the roleplay

• Aww lil smooch on the nose and then one on the cheek

• "Cringe."

• How many times can bbh try "one last thing"

• Bbh and puffy on the crafting table together, guys thats not how it works

• Skeppy just fucking appearing. Also tf is ponk doing

• Is ponk flying in the bg??? Hello???

• We not gonna talk about ponk flying in the bg???

• Okay but... does skeppy even have a nose too smooch?

• DUDUDUDU

• Why do all the rituals happen on bbh and skeppys lawn

• DISC?????

• I wish puffy wasn't discount skeppy for all if this even tho its kinda funny

• FUCK AN AD :(

• BAD PUT THE DISC AWAY RN please

• Bbh have rain off but not the water droplets is trippy

• Hahaha well I bet the disc is gonna die

• Lmao the deaths dont count cuz its a side plot

• LMAO SKEPPY BACKPEDALING YHE SECOND BAD FINALLY DECIDES TO SMOOCH HIM

• Just cuz the deaths aren't canon doesn't mean the events arent

• Props to bbh puffy and skeppy for being able to carry a whole rp stream just the 3 of them

• LMAO JELOUSBOYHALO

• Sam was there and then he's gone oof, one person who could break the egg

• This ad was oof timing

• I am so sad, tumblr let me post again alreadyy

• Sleeping on the couch? Nah make them room in the basement

• Bad 🥺🥺🥺

• I cant hear "but um" without going "tss"

• Technoblade???

• Aww bad ending cuz it got a bit too much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

• AWWWWW SKEPPY SENDING A <3 WHOLESOME POG

• Bye bad! Take care of urself! I bet he and skeppy are gonna hang out off stream like the best buds they are :D

• I cant wait to post this shit on tumblr once they free me, I think I have like 40 mins left trapped in hell

• Puffy in a sad voice: he looks like the kool-aid man

• Skeppy has like a... dictionary or some shit next to him

• I love these new nicknames

• I want to be free from tumblr hell

#spud liveblogs #technically #spud rambles #mcyt #dream smp #badboyhalo #skeppy #captainpuffy #dream smp spoilers #dsmp spoilers

[norcalbruja]

Things are not ideal for me right now

What’s up, so I had yet another argument with my mom today. I had to go lie down and vent about it to the spirits. I ended up begging them to find SOME way to get my writing off the ground, so I could move into my own place by the end of the year. Then I can finally be alone and not get constantly reminded by people that I'm bad at housework, and remembering stuff, and all those “regular people” things that my mom and sister are just fine with.

Because LUCKY ME, I live in California where a regular fucking 1-to-2-bedroom house can cost a million dollars or MORE now. And while writing and theater has never been easy, it’s been especially bad with the pandemic.

I wore myself out a couple years ago by trying to get my writing noticed the regular way with social-media, and eventually I quit posting much about my work because I barely got any readers AT ALL, let alone people who give me feedback like I kept begging them to. (GUESS HOW MAD I WAS when I found out that literally all of the “standard” marketing advice is bullshit. I spammed Tumblr and Twitter and Facebook for nothing, isn’t that great???)

So yeah, while I vastly advocate trying mundane options before asking the spirits for help, I don’t know how I can get a writing career or earn a million dollars the “mundane” way, especially not in these times.

Which led me, in my “desperate / enraged” double-whammy of a bad mindset, to go and ask Laho the moon-eater for help.

This is not the first time. I asked him in February because I was just fucking TIRED of being stuck at home and having my writing going nowhere, and how asking the other spirits just doesn’t seem to be working.

---

So for context: Laho the Moon-Eater is a dragon in Filipino / Tagalog mythology. He causes eclipses by coming out of the deep ocean and trying to eat the sun/moon. He actively dislikes when I call him a “god” because he insists that the anito/gods have to CARE ABOUT PEOPLE, regardless of power-level, and he is a DRAGON.

He acknowledges that dragons frequently overlap WITH gods, especially in Asian / Filipino mythology, but he told me that it’s a case-by-case thing and sometimes dragons just identify as Level 10 Nature-Spirits. Which is kind of trippy when Laho constantly takes human form and looks/acts almost like Dark Bakura, what with his long white hair, his deathly pale skin, and his dickish and blunt personality. He also has a glowing “aura” that none of the other anito seem to have, even the actual sun and moon deities. I think it's either “deep-sea bio-luminescence” or “side-effects from constantly trying to eat the sun/moon.”

And uh. That comparison to DARK Bakura is not an idle one, because for me, Laho is almost on Loki levels of "Engage With Heavy Caution.” Loki and I barely get along after several years of not being able to stand each other, and after one piece of advice from Loki that went So Damn Badly, he told me we can have a do-over later on. Laho is just damn unpredictable because sometimes he comes over to tell me about stuff, but sometimes he drags me out of my meditation without even asking “hey are you busy??? I found something cool!” first.

On the other hand, Laho is not a proper “Trickster” like Loki is, so he’s not trying to curse me or anything. That involves caring enough about one random, half-trained spirit-worker to like... intentionally damage her, and Laho Does Not Care About People.

Keep in mind that while I am NOT doing formal “magic / spellwork,” thank the gods, general consensus from the other spirits is “Do Not Try This At Home.” Fuck, now that I've calmed down, *I* don’t even like asking Laho for basic goals, but... I don’t know who else I can ask.

The rest of it is behind the “Read More” heading for heavy desperation, depression, and Not Safe For Work subjects.

---

So today after my latest argument with Mom, I went to my room to lie down and get a grip on my Seething Rage And Desperation, but as mentioned before, I just ended up begging the spirits, “GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE. I JUST WANT A HOUSE AND AN ART CAREER. GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU.”

And my attempts to calm down didn’t work so much that Spirit-Me’s heart just... split open from the stress, apparently. The last time that happened was when I was high as hell on a whole weed cookie, and I started thinking the world was going to end. (Long story short, that was Loki’s Extremely Bad Advice. Yes, the spirits remembered that. No, they were not happy that I was sober this time.)

So there’s Spirit-Me, screaming and bleeding all over the damn place while Odin and the other spirits are trying to 1) stitch me back up and 2) assure me that I’m not a TOTAL failure, but I was not in the space to listen, so once I was mostly-not-bleeding, I just ran off to the spirit-ocean and found Laho.

Generally when I’m desperate enough to ask Laho for help, I end up having sex with him as a trade.

Because, at risk of repeating myself, I’m broke. In a lot more ways than “money.” I’m say I’m a half-trained spirit-worker, but if you count FILIPINO spirit-work, it’s even less. I barely even speak Tagalog, so I wouldn’t know any spells or high-end offerings to give the spirits. I don’t know what the fuck else I can trade for help, besides having sex.

I don’t even have an altar to put offerings ON, because my mom’s place has a Catholic altar and I sure as hell won’t leave food meant for pagan spirits there. I share my regular food with the spirits, and then I eat it after a few minutes.

But like... remember how Spirit-Me’s heart just split open from stress, and how I was about to have sex, which is generally Very Strenuous in both worlds? Yeah, not only did my heart split back open, I’m pretty sure me and Laho didn’t do anything resembling “spiritual foreplay” either, because Spirit-Me started bleeding down there, too.

And it’s like, Laho is not a good role model for the MORAL side of “a crying woman is asking me for help and trying to have sex,” but the Filipino spirits are extremely open about sex by itself. Even Laho prides himself on having REALLY good sex if someone comes up to him for it, because humans and involved spirits are the ones who mess shit up with “feelings” and “consent” and “maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

But he knows that humans shouldn’t be leaking gallons of blood, so once that started, he stopped. And then he assured the extremely angry anito that he only knows why I’m bleeding from ONE place, but he didn’t expect that much, and the chest wound is not from him.

Spirit-Me was now slightly WORSE than when I started—my chest hurt and my downstairs half hurt, and while I was flailing in a pool of my own blood, and begging the spirits for a steady income and a basic house, my mouth started bleeding, so now Orifice #3 Is Leaking Too Much Red Stuff.

So, I needed Freyja AND Brighid to come fix it. Brighid says that my issues are manifesting as “spiritual ulcers.” Freyja has gently advised me that given the shit that happened today, I should avoid spirit-intercourse for the next few days and seriously take it easy for other types of sex.

And weirdly enough, once everyone cleared out to give me a break from the events, the Morrigan came up and told me that she loved me, and I could ask her for help if I wasn’t too tired. She also told me that she is the goddess of sovereignty, and I don’t ask her for nearly enough things. So... yeah, I asked her for help with getting an art career and buying my own house, so I could help fix the damn planet by the end of this year, 2021.

See, the Morrigan is my patron goddess and she has been extremely hands-off in the past few years. While she DOES relegate herself to “spiritual bodyguard for the squishy writer,” sometimes she comes up and tells me she loves me, unprompted. Especially when I’m... not in a good space AT ALL, like today.

I wonder if my soul is dying, or in a LOT of trouble. Honestly, I’m not surprised. I told the spirits a while back that my soul will die if I’m stuck in this rut for much longer, where I’m not a successful artist, and so I have to live with my family, who I can’t really get along with.

I'm not good at anything besides art. Either my head just doesn’t fucking work properly for most jobs, or random shit goes wrong with basic tasks, or I end up hating the job and wishing that I could just DO ART FOR A LIVING.

The only way I can see to fix things is get an art career and move into my own place, so I don’t bother anyone and they don’t have to deal with my weirdness. But HOW THE FUCK am I gonna find a million dollars for a basic house, when I can’t even get enough people to read my stuff???

And that, followers, is why I'm up at midnight after exhausting Spirit-World shenanigans.

#spirit-work #Filipino mythology #long post #personal gnosis #unverified personal gnosis #paganism #irish paganism #anito

[pennie-dreadful]

Why I can never leave Tumblr full time:

This weird guilt trippy mentality of people on Tiktok who act like the only people on Tiktok who matter are the ones who actually post videos. And then further go on another guilt trip spree of ~thank you to the 20 out 77k ppl who actually interact with all of my content~ When I tell you I unfollow SO fast. Like, I'm sorry Tiktok runs on algorithms and decides what to show me, even if I'm on my Following page not my For You Page? I'm sorry I don't have time to stalk your page every damn day? Fuck off. Your videos aren't worth all that.

Honestly out of the ~450 followers I have on Tumblr only maybe 10-15% of them actually like or reblog my posts. And I have never spent a minute of my life wondering why the rest of them don't interact. It's their business. I'm just flattered any of them thought I was interesting enough to follow in the first place.

And I've definitely seen plenty of posts making commentary on this phenomena without being judgemental about it. Idk. I know I for sure lived through 2014 Tumblr one time already, I'm not fixin to do it again on Tiktok.

#personal pennie #fuckin tumblr #still the most tolerable hellsite on the internet

[lavenderbrookemystic]

Hey everyone, before I share this honestly very emotional story I want to be clear about something. As a Dionysus devotee it’s not that I dislike the fact he’s gained so much popularity since keep in mind the only witchy social media mostly on tik tok, I was on was tumblr (till the adult content ban) so seeing way more Dionysus people initially made me super happy however I think sometimes when the youngins start working with him they tend to only see him as queer chaotic party dad (which as a 21 year old theater major who’s openly queer myself I totally understand) but I wish they would maybe dig deeper into him, his epithets and yes his cult. Now let me tell my story of how Dionysus came forward and made it clear he was my patron...warning this story contains a mental break down an consumption of alcohol in not fun sense... So flashback to June, my relationship was honestly falling apart and I was living with somebody who I thought cared about me but was really hell bent on breaking me but also not treating me like somebody not worthy of being in a relationship/respected by them at the same time. I had dropped out of college back in February and I also quit a job I despised despite the fact the money was good but my soul was gone hence how I even met this person, I don’t doubt that if my self esteem had been what it is now then I would have told them to take a hike lol. I was becoming a hallow shell of everything I had loved..to make something more traumatic for context my hair is a deeply spiritual thing for me and I had a friend who claimed to care for me but really hated me after finding out...she on purpose butchered my hair to make me ugly thinking the guy she liked would stop talking to her (which didn’t work). So you can imagine feeling almost entirely entirely neutered, I started having very trippy dreams like very hazy and manic till finally when I was sitting in the shower after downing two bottles of wine on an empty stomach and countless other shots this weird moment I kept seeing a flash of a man holding a mask in front of his own face but I could see a beard falling below its chin, long wavy hair and absolutely wild insane eyes shining through the mask eye holes all I could hear Why don’t you just go mad? It seems like your only option“Become the actor and wear another face”“Free yourself”“Run”This energy hovered for days while I researched for days about who this could be even thought intuitively I knew immediately. After I finally did the most batshit insane thing I could think of to get away from this male friend (calling a cop to Come with me to get my things and return back to where I belonged) and ever since then Dionysus has been on me about “going mad” which has included cutting off people who think they are too important to be gotten rid of, becoming an artist and also moving towards majoring in theatre specifically Shakespeare since I’m a comedic way according to my fiancé my life has been a Shakespearean tragedy so no wonder it fits. How Dionysus felt to me when he came to me if anyone needs a perfect visual metaphor, think of that scene from Midsommar when Dani was carried into the room having a panic attack after her boyfriend cheated and the other women wrapped with her and the one in particular who grabbed her face and screamed in pain with her..that’s how it feels with embracing Dionysus’s madness and what is amazing is he has referred to me as the name I wanted to he called even before I made it public I’ll leave you with something he’s said to me that mean the most Siobhan, I have always been here I always will be and I will never harm you.”

#witchblr #witchcraft #hellenic worship #dionysus #dionysus worship

[thewebcomicsreview]

So I've been following this one guy who gives really good writing advice, but lately he's been: telling people it's OK to skip the Intermission in Homestuck; defending bad writing as a "structural issue" (those poor writers, it's not their fault they've structured their story / writing process in a bad way); priding himself on making a half-assed "unfinished-on-purpose" comic review. This person was my main source of writing advice, so I don't know where to turn to. Any recommendations?

The only other webcomic review guys I’m aware of are the Bad Webcomics Wiki, but if you think I’m too nice on writers, they might be up your speed anyway and oh my god they just posted a review of a SpiderForest comic. Guess it’s time for

The Webcomic Review Reviews Webcomic Reviews

So, this is a review of a SpiderForest comic called “The Guide to a Healthy Relationship” which is a comic about LGBT people, and it’s being reviewed by the Bad Webcomics Wiki, so obviously there’s going to be a whole bunch of slurs, so consider that a content warning and I’m putting the rest of this behind a ReadMore

This is going to be slightly disjointed because the BWW review is disjointed, but I’ll do my best

We’re already in some factual trouble right on line one, since TGtaHR is a traditional webcomic and not a long-scroll mobile-friendly webtoon, nor is it hosted on webtoons.com. Is this nitpicky? Maybe a little, but we’re off to a poor start here. 

This comic is just under 200 pages.

I feel like if you’re going to write a big thing attacking a webcomic’s story, you should try to have some kind of understanding of what that story is. I know what the story of Sinfest is, and Sinfest is a confusing nightmare.

Okay, so maybe the reason you think this story is bad is because it’s 2deep4u. 

So, in the space of about twenty pages, we learn that Apollo had a friend named Julian who killed himself, and then we cut ahead to Julian drinking on the job, going to a party, taking drunks, and waking up naked in the bathtub covered in beer bottles, and the living room is full of too-hot-for-tumblr passed-out drunks. The Bad Webcomics Wiki calls this “Softcore porn that is never brought up again”, because the Bad Webcomics Wiki is written by high school dropouts for an audience they presume has never read the comic proper. 

This debauchery is never brought up again because it’s not relevant to the plot, it’s relevant to the character. Apollo is fucked up because his friend killed himself when he was a teenager, and he deals with being fucked up by retreating into sex, drugs, and rock and roll. That’s what’s being established here. Also being established if you’re paying attention: Apollo has scars on his chest. 

In chapter 1, Apollo goes to a party, the entirety of which is dedicated to him walking around naked, and we get a bunch of obviously sexual shots of his dick, clearly catering to the author's gay fetish. His boss goes to his place to check on him, and it is revealed he is a hoarder. This never comes up again.  

1. In this scene, there are two panels where you can see Apollo’s penis, one panel where you can see someone’s vomit-covered dick, and two panels where you can see a woman’s breasts. None of these panels of flacid dicks or sagging boobs are sexual, though. The dicks are unpowered, it doesn’t make a bit of difference guys, the balls are inert. 

2. What the fuck is a “gay fetish” and how it different from just “being gay”.

3. I don’t know the author, even though we’re both in SpiderForest, so I don’t know where Dani The Carutor lies in the whole gender spectrum thingamabob, but I will note that “Dani” is usually short for Danielle. So maybe it’s not a safe assumption that the author is a man? I dunno. That’s just me, guessing people’s genders by screen name is hard, so I try not to lest I embarrass myself.

4.So, when you say Apollo is a “hoarder”, you link to a page showing his room is disgusting and covered in garbage

Is your takeaway from these panels....that Apollo is some kind of fanatic garbage collector? That his room is full of garbage because he actively works at having as much garbage as possible because he wants it? 

There are a couple pages explaining Apollo's purple special snowflake eyes with some snowflake "disability".

Apollo has Ocular Albinism, which is a real condition that really exists, and really does give you purple eyes. It also gives you major vision problems, which are the context in which it gets brought up, because Apollo needs help crossing the road because he can’t see well enough in the light. So I don’t know what the scare quotes around “disability” are for. He can’t see. You could, if you were so inclined, connect this plot point with the way the chapter titles are named after mental conditions, and start to formulate some coherent critique with the seemingly cavalier way this comic uses disability, but that would require thought. It might even require research into difficult topics, because you’d ideally not want to make a fool of yourself talking about things you didn’t understand well enough to talk competently about. 

Chapter 2 is the most pointless, as it is basically there to confirm what we already know so the author can insert a cringy buzzword (see image below)

Okay, so a couple of things

1. In what fucking universe is “tranny” an SJW buzzword? What the fuck are you even talking about? 

2. Having the protagonist of your comic say someone is “smart, for a tranny” is like the least SJW thing you could possibly do.

3. Perhaps “Apollo is asking someone for help but casually insults her causing her to leave” is some kind of “character” moment? The author of this review is so /pol/-poisoned that they have no ability to understand “context” or “characterization” or basically any thing that exists. 

4.Your list of the comic’s characters includes this bon mot: 

So what the fuck? That’s so stupid I’d think it was an intentionally hypocritical joke if I had any reason to believe you were capable of it.

Chapter 3 is dedicated to revealing the boyfriend shit

I should point out that Apollo and Julian being boyfriends is something the BWW invented, the comic itself clearly states they were “best friends”, not boy friends. Couple of dudes being prudes. 

Apollo believes that Julian faked his own death, which fucked up Apollo for years, and now that they’ve met each other Julian keeps ghosting him. Apollo’s motives for chasing Julian around are extremely clear. 

That’s a scene transition, bay-bee! 

Apollo finally gets ahold of Julian. Julian blows him off and Apollo gives up. There’s then a clear scene transition to Apollo, at a restaurant, talking about what we just saw. This is a perfectly clear scene transition, with a transitory panel and everything to indicate that this is the next day. It’s certainly more clear than Apollo waking up in jail in chapter 2 which you skipped over. Are you actually reading this comic at all? 

You are such a fucking moron, holy shit. 

Julian got beat up for being trans. It’s unclear if he’s actually trans or just a feminine-looking cis dude, but regardless it was bad enough to traumatize him and this all happened when he knew Apollo, who calls Julian his “best friend”, and says things like

There’s literally two dots here, and you’re unable to connect them. Galia even has the same hairstyle as Julian to make it visually obvious This Is What The Reference and you still missed it. 

Julian and Apollo walk around the woods in their underwear for no reason whatsoever. Julian takes some drugs or something, and passes out?

Hm. Why does Julian go outside at night? I wonder if that’s explained in the comic?

Oh, I see. He went outside to smoke. But why did Apollo go outside at night?

Oh, he was looking out the window and saw Julian mysteriously go off into the woods. I guess that’s explained, too. I guess you just missed those pages

Julian takes some drugs or something, and passes out?

Huh, I wonder why Julian was asleep

Oh, he has Insomnia, so he took something called Halcion. I wonder what that is.

Oh, it’s a prescription insomnia medication. And you shouldn’t take alcohol with it, wow Julian is dealing with a super pushy alcoholic I should file that information away for later, like how knowing Wellbutrin’s side effects in teenagers were critical to understand Drop Out. Luckily webcomics are comics, on the web, and I can look this up! 

He is then woken up by the fatty side character punching him. Somehow, Julian destroyed the kitchen, even though he was passed out - this is never explained, and makes no fucking sense

Sigh.

So, here are some hints as to what happened.

1. 

Julian has bruises all over his body, which you have consistently failed to notice.

2. 

Daniel, Julian’s friendly boyfriend, has like no negative reaction whatsoever to Brandon, some random dude, punching Julian in the fucking face

He even takes Brandon’s side and basically implants the idea that Julian did it into Julian’s head, and that last panel is rather threatening. 

Julian took insomnia medicine, and fell asleep, and then got wrongfully blamed for destroying the kitchen by Daniel, who know’s that Julian was passed out and couldn’t have done it. Who actually did destroy the kitchen is a mystery, but Daniel is the most likely culprit. 

it transitions into this trippy bullshit with blood, and body horror, and Julian's hair is suddenly short

It’s short because it’s a flashback to when he was a teenager, and he had short hair when he was a teenager so that literate people are able to understand this without getting confuzzled. 

Apollo turning into Daniel in this trippy dream sequence is also pretty relevant! 

Also, we have random nudity and sexualization of this sick person.

No, we have reveals that he’s in worse physical shape than we thought.

By the way, in your character list, you describe Daniel as

Daniel (Side Character): He may as well be a wall. This guy has no personality whatsoever. No quirks, no interests, no purpose outside of causing superficial melodrama.

If you’ve made it all the way to this point and not picked up on Daniel being an abusive boyfriend and the primary antagonist of the story, you may be beyond hope.

The rest of the chapter is Julian being angsty, and SO ILL while everyone talks about how weird he is

Again, that’s very clearly and obviously not actually what’s happening in the story.

What’s happening isn’t “Julian is sick lol”, it’s “Daniel is working to turn everyone against Julian”. That’s why he destroyed the kitchen and blamed Julian for it; to ensure that the other boys all thought Julian was a nutjob and thus keep them from reaching out to Julian and providing Julian with a guide to a healthy relationship instead of the abusive one he’s currently in. Your inability to read even slightly between the lines isn’t just distressing in terms of your inability to think critically about stories, it’s maybe worrisome re your ability to think about the real world, too. How are you this dense? It’s like watching Star Wars and not picking up that the empire and the rebellion don’t like each other. No wonder you’re confused! 

Chapter 5 is still in the works. It jumps the shark right away with Apollo getting drunk and sleeping with Julian's boyfriend. The author makes Apollo the guilty party and not the boyfriend

The comic is fairly clear that Daniel is the bad guy

This webtoon is so convoluted there is no saving it at this point. Each chapter is titled after some mental illness such as 'Monophobia', 'Anxiety', 'Psychosis'. You think they would have some thematic meaning with each chapter being about one of those things. Nope, they're just titled like that to show how EDGY this webtoon is! You can taste the cringe. Julian's mental shit has no rhyme or reason - he will act sick when the plot calls for it, and if it has anything to do with the chapter's title, it is also crazy inaccurate.

The author of this review somehow managed to read the entirety of The Guide to a Healthy Relationship without picking up that Daniel was an abuser. The comic thus seems convoluted to him because he thinks all the things happening are random events without rhyme or reason because he has completely failed to notice the whole plot, which is not subtle. Just....fucking staggering incompetence, as a critic.

Guess you’re stuck with me, anon.

#Anonymous #The Guide to a Healthy Relationship #bad webcomics wiki #The webcomic review reviews webcomic reviews

[kpopgerapitico]

Song of the Week

I worked on this for like 20 minutes, and then Tumblr ate it. I’m minorly livid about it. Now to rewrite.

Honorable Mentions:

For something distinctly trippy and cool, look to GOND with Hotel Room, a synthy rap track that uses its synths just as importantly as the distinct silences peppered throughout the track. The raps are solid, the autotune makes perfect sense, and the music only chorus takes the themes and expands. There are surprises every verse in the best way. This is avant garde in music form.

Park Seo Joon sighting, ft. an actress I recognize but annoyingly cannot place.

Please listen to Jo Gwangil, I need everyone to discover him. His flow is so so so damn good. He does rap about pretty dark stuff, like so dark that Depersonalization has a warning on the beginning about imagery. But he feels raw and honest in a way I haven’t heard as much recently, and he does while creating like 90% of a songs rhythm from his own mouth. This track has a bit more from that point of view, but is still fairly sparse, and has sections that are nearly empty besides his voice. P.S, if you are easily squeamish, there is a clean version. Sadly, both versions are pretty flashy, so be aware if you are photo sensitive.

And now for a new segment, idol roundup, where I mention every single idol I watch, in the hopes of remembering for myself as well as catching when I miss ones that don’t go to the compilation channels. The girls got shafted this week for sets.

- Only You by Saturday. This sounds and looks like a b-side. Sweet bubble gum pop I have negative interest in.

- X by Chungha. X feels very different for Chungha, but makes sense for a female soloist in K-pop.

- Lemon Candy by Pink Fantasy: I don’t find anything particularly special or interesting about this, but it’s fine.

- Love So Sweet - Cherry Bullet: I get why people like Cherry Bullet a little bit more, but I like the first verse more than the whole rest of the song.

- No diggity by ONEUS: It’s fine, but it doesn’t draw me in the same way as some of their other tracks have. Also it kind of looks like they took like every VIXX video and said, “we’ll use them all” for the visual concept.

- My Turn by Cravity: This is what happens when your company seems Stray Kids and NCT and decides that success is the average of the 2. I still don’t know what Cravity’s sound is.

I have many words to say about U-Know’s Thank U. But before I get carried away about the video, let’s address the song. It is sexy and cool and instantly recognizable as Yunho. TVXQ is the only group I can think of who have an overarching discography between that not only sounds cohesive, but still manages to have distinctive and obvious differences between each solo effort and the pair as a duo. You know this is a TVXQ member’s track right away, while also knowing it is specifically Yunho’s through some magic of consistency. And this video is so damn good. It is plot driven in the year 2021 of our lord, with a plot that doesn’t require reading a primer by a fan who is way more into this stuff than you to understand. Yunho not only has multiple wonderful set piece stunt fights (that seem to all actually be him, or at least a majority) but also dances that come from those same scenes? And mostly fit the vibe? Not to mention the frankly stunning visuals. Honestly, you could write a paper about this 7 minute MV and get credit in a film studies class. I hope that this means that post army Yunho will get an action movie/drama role (hopefully his acting has improved while he was in the army; god knows it couldn’t get worse). Anyways, go watch and listen and enjoy the power of experience.

Subtle and sweet was not the sound I expected from an Epik High comeback, but that’s what Based on a True Story is. Heize sounds great, and the beat feels different for Epik High in the best way, especially with the orchestral backing. The accordion is a nice touch. Rosario on the other hand makes absolute sense for them. It again sits on a slightly different beat for Epik High, which is always a great thing to hear from them, and has incredible verses from Tablo, Mithra Jin and Zico, as well as a great chorus from CL. If you want the full effect, you probably should spend some time with Born Hater first, because Rosario feels like a lyrical successor, and more obviously a visual and spiritual successor. Epik High has always made great collabs, but this pair fit into the same theme. They are all a response to a specific type of hate. Born Hater is about people complaining about people being overrated/untalented. Hell, there is a reference to Zico in it by Mino (an apt call out at the time). Rosario is a response to the title of has-been, and a bit the idea of current idols paving the way. Having Epik High, CL and Zico in a room puts that even more into perspective, as all of them are known for their contributions in one way or another. Epik High are hugely popular and well known rappers to basically anyone who isn’t just an idol fan. CL has proven that you can be a female rapper who goes solo and still kills the game. And Zico is the first truly successful idol producer. All of them have made huge contributions to the Korean music industry, but are often ignored by younger fans who don’t know their history. Well, here’s a place to learn it.

Short aside: Tablo’s verses are so damn well written basically always, that even the translations have to work hard on them. And I bet they miss out some of the subtleties. Also, his verse in Rosario is the only one that combats a different issue, definitely turn on subtitles for it.

Both Thank U and Rosario are important to me for different reasons, and they both win.

#sotw #u-know thank u #epik high rosario

[pernatius]

Lost in Space Part 8: Ch 1

Summary: Syco’s insanity is explored and the mind of the unnamed Space Explorer is as well. 

Lost in Space on Tumblr

Lost in Space on ao3

Panting. Grip slipping. Knees shaking. A cough. Another cough, but this one has me spit out blood. The back of my hand wipes it away roughly as my eyes remain on the still figure before me. He has yet to budge one of his arms. They’ve been resting behind his back this whole time. It’s mostly been effortless dodges from him, a reenactment from last time. 

Arm stretched back, the bow’s string strains. Its threads twist and tighten against one another. Not a single arrow has made it within an inch of his vicinity. Scattered throughout the floor are hundreds of arrows. They looked like constellations, a night sky. I could spot Leo and Hercules easily before their arrows died. For the rest, I wasn’t fast enough to recognize. 

A wave of darkness swallowed us whole. If it weren’t for the arrow in the corner of my eye, I wouldn’t be able to see the very calloused hand holding it and Syco’s now goldish blue eyes. “You are not a child, or so you say. You do not look like a child, I’ll give you that, but you act like one because you feel you are one. Guessing by that look, you already knew that.”

“I don’t need to hear another one of your psychological analyses right now.”

“Yes, you don’t need to be reminded at this moment, but later you will need to read my thesis carefully,” he motions for the activation of his screen, “We are done here. I have to tend to some egregious math now.”

“Just like that? But you’re the one that started this by kicking me in the face.” I pointed at the pounding mark. 

“This was to let out your frustrations, which you’ll thank me for later,” he lifts his head away from his screen to follow the direction of my finger, “Some of my frustrations too.” His attention is turned back to the screen. His typing is slow but calculating. This is a fight I lost but it’s not like I was ever going to win. I turn around and before I push open the doors he continues, “All Tauvoxes are the same. You’ve grown to see me like him. I know because you held back, but I hope this gets through your head before it’s too late, the past is just as important as the present. This knowledge will help with your future.”

The door shut behind me, echoing throughout the hallway before me. Anyone an earshot away would be alerted, a Tauvox I worried specifically. Between my grumbling over how I should’ve made a quieter exit and how I should’ve pressed for more answers rather than letting him hand me more questions, I hear footsteps heading towards me. They’re much lighter than a Tauvox’s, but that doesn’t mean it’s not troublesome. I get out my dagger and staff and charge towards them. 

Shiitakee is standing on the other side with his arms raised. Behind him is Saamuki with blue irises instead of her eyes being fully engulfed in blue. “It’s okay. He’s with me,” she whispered her explanation. 

“What are you two doing here? Last time I saw you were sleeping,” I whispered back.

Footsteps, much heavier than either of the two's before me, cut Saamuki’s first response. Rewording, “I’ll explain when we get back to the room.”

The two Tauvoxes didn’t pay us any mind, but my two companions did for them. They were tense for the few seconds we needed to get past them. I heard Saamuki’s throat tighten and the crack of my other companion’s knuckles. I knew better than to make this noticeable. Still, it didn’t stop me from wondering what could’ve happened in the short amount of time I was with Syco that caused this to happen. 

With all these questions, I instead let the woman in front of me start rather than letting myself start by asking. “Do you remember our conversation about ship addresses?” I nod and try to block out Shiitakee’s comments about how we were given a much cleaner room. “At that time, I told you how resonance is the most important part. Well, resonance is created by how the ship reacts to its crystal. Therefore, resonance should be different for each ship.”

“O-Okay and?”

“This ship’s resonance is odd. It’s not like the others.” Pulling out her screen, she shows me way too much math. Her finger scrolls down to a simple graph with an x- and y-axis. “You see that line over there? That’s the average resonance for one hundred ships, one of which is ours, but the one for this ship isn’t part of that because I couldn’t find it at first.”

“I think you’re boring her just like you did with me,” the lanky mushroom cut in as he tapped the window. 

Her middle and index fingers close together, causing the graph to zoom out. Now the z-axis is shown. “That line is this ship’s resonance. It’s not being emitted into space. It’s going somewhere else,” she zooms out just enough for me to see a dot lying on the other end of the line representing this ship’s resonance, “It’s going here. Do you trust me?”

“After everything, of course, I do.”

“We figured out what’s been eating the resonance. I could show you without getting up close and personal to him.”

“Him?”

“It’s better if I just show you. Thankfully for you, I’m confident now, but this process relies on trust. If you don’t do as I ask then you will die because what we’re about to do will separate your mind from your body.”

“Hold on a minute. You didn’t tell me about the whole dying thing,” he interrupted her for the second time. 

For the second time, Saamuki ignores him, “But if you’d rather not risk that, and I fully understand if you don’t, then I can simply tell you right here and right now.”

“Whoever that dot is must be important, right? Besides, I think if you just tell me I’d probably be asking you too many questions. I need answers, not more questions right now, Saamuki.”

She looks at the man that was her guinea pig prior. He responds, “Yeah. I got it. I’m going to watch over your bodies. Don’t worry there’s no way I’m going to let anyone get to them while you two are away.”

“Another soul will watch over our bodies anyways.”

“And I won’t question that. It’s not the strangest thing I’ve heard,” his eyes make contact with my own, “Trust me I’ve heard stranger things from Syco.”

Turning back to me, she asks me to lay down because she explains, “You need full concentration for this to work. You need to find something to latch onto, so you can easily go back to your body once we finish. This could be a memory, or something physical. It has to be something you have a strong connection with.”

Strange, that’s what this is. I could feel her body heat as she interlaced our fingers. Our eyes being closed and hearing her mutter a foreign language under her breath made this even more awkward, but I have to stop focusing on unimportant details like these. Only a child would focus on those kinds of things. I’m a fully grown woman now. I have to be. I have to focus on my crown, or else I end up dying the least heroic way possible, stupidity.

I didn’t realize I was squeezing my eyes shut until I heard her say, “Relax.” When I do, she compliments me. “You can open your eyes now.”

My hands are transparent. Lying directly in my line of sight, past the see-through small walls that are my hands are Saamuki’s and my bodies laying down just like we left them. She floats towards me and once in front of me she goes on to explain in more detail about this predicament, but I ignore her. Okay, I know that’s not the smart thing to do, but this whole experience is just too strange to not focus on. It’s frighteningly cool. 

The same blue as Saamuki’s irises glows around me. As I move my hands, the glow follows but it’s a second off. Very trippy. 

Saamuki places her hand in front of me. I take it and I let her lead me out of the room, past our grumbling bodyguard who huffs to himself with his arms crossed above his chest and back leaned against the door, “I thought you were kidding about the whole human thing.” 

We went through a lot of floors. It didn’t feel like anything. Just one quick motion that included going right through some Tauvoxes, one of which was curled up in bed, but speaking of Tauvoxes, the further we went down the ship the less prominent they became. There was no one in the engine room, the most important room in the ship. If that huge, glowing green crystal can power this entire ship it could also certainly destroy this ship. I could expect this lack of care from Syco’s predecessor, but not Syco. Syco’s proven to be smarter than that brute. 

“Before we continue you sure you have something to latch on to?”

“Mhm.” 

“Then, we'll proceed to the room underneath.” 

From the brightest room, we descended into the darkest room, somehow even darker than Syco’s room. He laid in front of us. Back pressed against a metal table with long, thick glowing green tubes puncturing into his body and two going into his mouth, is Syco’s predecessor and one of the only men that’ll have a place in the back of my mind. His lower lip has been torn and his nose is crooked, which must be from his final run-in with Mikrovos. Also, his skin is a sickly green, too many shades lighter from the crystal above. His eyes are closed, but his chest is moving. He’s breathing. The monster is breathing. This sick thing is still alive. I yank myself free of Saamuki’s grip and bring out the sword. I’m on top of him when I bring the sword back, building up the anticipation, but she grabs my wrist before I can. I turn to her. 

“You can’t kill him here, but if you are to you may lose your connection.”

I set my sword down and recompose myself, but I bring my questions out, “How is he still alive? Why is he still alive?”

Frustratingly, she’s cut off again, but the reason she is a compensation. Syco strides out of the doorway, the light from the other side shines onto him, giving him an angelic presence. “It’s been too long since I’ve last visited you,” he admitted as the door behind him shut. 

The Tauvox on life support manages to open an eye. In the sliver between his eyelids, I can see his eye first focus on his successor then jump to us. There’s no way he could see us. He’s probably just measuring up the room, the atmosphere between them, but it still felt like he did. It felt like at any moment he could pluck out his tubes and rampage towards us, towards me to finish what he started. I don’t have Mikrovos this time, after all. 

“It’s very pretentious about how the 'The' part of your title is capitalized, but you are a pretentious bastard, after all.”

In response, The Commander mumbles something indistinguishable. 

“Oh, to hear your voice again. To have you lecture me. To have you encourage my insanity. Those were long, miserable years.” Syco’s finger slid up from the tube puncturing the center of the much bulkier Tauvox’s chest to his throat. He clenched it, but not enough for the man lying beneath his grip to begin choking. “I should kill you right here and right now without a single regret, finish the job Mikrovos started, but I won’t. Now, this isn’t out of mercy and it especially isn’t out of sympathy. If it weren’t for the reason I’d push you out of an airlock. I’d watch the color leave from your face as you tried to grasp onto the last moments of your feeble life and I’d enjoy every single second. No. No, I won’t do it because I need you for further testing. Also, because I prefer you alive in my hands than in the Lords’ hands.”

He lets go of his throat and has his screen reappear. He shows his predecessor all the math he’s done as if his predecessor could speak and compliment him about his hard work. The dynamic is almost like that of a child and parent. “I almost have my theorem done, but,” he groans, “I told you this already. I told all of you this already. I keep repeating this over and over!” 

Syco then throws his screen away. It fades away long before it could hit the ground. As it does, he presses his back against The Commander’s table and slowly descends. Before us, the current commander of the Tauvoxes sits behind his predecessor and places his hands over his face to ask what he knows the answer to, “If there is a God then what was the reason for making me insane?”

#214 #lost in space #my writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr

[ventivante]

13 Songs Tag 🎵

rules: You can only use one artist for the entire list (no multiple songs from the same artist), so we can all kind of spread new music to the people we tag. Try to listen to at least one of the songs people recommend here

1. A song you loved the first time you listened to and never got tired of? “Soufflé” by Audrey Nuna - this is a pretty chill song but also a little trippy, it’s hard to describe without actually listening to it but it’s got a nice vibe and is totally unique so i end up listening to it on repeat for a long time lmao

2. A song that makes you cry/get emotional every time you listen to? “행복했던 날들이었다 days gone by” by Day6 - this was the first song that popped up when i turned my music on after hearing the news that my grandpa had died. it gave me comfort and still does to this day, and despite the song being about remembering a former lover/significant other, the falling out presented in the lyrics sounded very similar to my grandpa and i’s relationship and how we used to be really close and grew more distant the older i got and after i moved away. i hadn’t seen my grandpa for three years when he died, but i still have the memories of when we were closer and during very happy times, so this is a very bittersweet song for me

3. A song that always makes you happy? “MIROH” by Stray Kids - this song always makes me wanna get up and dance no matter what mood i’m in, it instantly perks me up and makes me feel better and more energized after listening to it. i love the faster paced songs and this is right up my alley so it’s perfect if i’m trying to cheer myself up

4. A song you would dedicate to your best friend and/or your family? “Hard Times” by Paramore - this is to my best fucking friend in the whole world who i love so much. i know we struggle a lot both separately and together, but we got each other in this big mean world and i’ve got your back no matter what. this is our favorite band, and it gives me flashbacks to us driving around our little ass hometown in high school (even though this came out WAAAAY after we graduated lol) grabbing wendy’s french fries and cheese sauce, just talking and laughing and crying together. you’re not on tumblr much anymore and you dont follow this blog because you arent a kpoppie like me so you probably won’t ever see this but i am so happy you tolerate my annoying rants about whatever tangent i’m on, thank you for everything, you make the hard times easier, i love you forever, ILYBBBBB!!! IANGSLYBBBBBBB!!!

5. A song with production (sounds, beats, mood, etc.) you love? “Yummy” by Justin Bieber - i have such a love/hate relationship with this song, because the instrumentals and beats are so addictive! the lyrics though....so horrible omg if i was his wife i would be offended this was the best he could come up with for a song written about me i’ve never been a bieber fan either so i was expecting to completely hate this song, but the instrumental is enough to keep me listening to it, idk, it’s definitely a guilty pleasure song though (the remix of it he did with Summer Walker is SO MUCH BETTER, SHE SAVED THIS SONG FORREAL PLEASE CHECK IT OUT)

6. A song with perfect, amazing, outstanding lyrics? “Norman fucking Rockwell” by Lana Del Rey - HOOOOO BOY LANA WAS NOT FUCKING PLAYING WITH THIS SONG, BILLIE EILISH IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT NFR SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN ALBUM OF THE YEAR JSJS. but seriously, this is such an eloquent ‘fuck you’ to those pretentious ass guys we all come into contact with and honestly, how raw of a line is ‘you fucked me so good i almost said i love you’? VERYYYYY, LANA IS QUEEN

7. A song that you would recommend to anyone? “Color Blind” by Maddox - this is something i would more so recommend to someone who was maybe just starting to get into kpop/k-r&b or isn’t really a fan of the boy/girl group stuff, it’s much more mellow and a really beautiful song, but i would also recommend it to anyone as a good song to listen to because it’s very easy listening and Maddox has such wonderful vocals

8. A song you don’t understand why you like so much but you do anyway? “Cry for Me” by Camila Cabello - ......ngl i dont care for lil miss camila as a person but i dig this song a lot, it’s got a good beat and is a pretty spiteful song i can relate to when i’m feeling petty, reminds me of a particular ex i wish was able to see how they hurt me but that’s all in the past now

9. A song you think people in general don’t like but you do? “Cherry Bomb” by NCT 127 - idk why people don’t like this song???? genuinely???? it’s actually the song that made me stan NCT in the first place, and tbh the ‘if you happy and you know it clap your hands’ made me roll my eyes but it was (AND STILL IS) a complete bop, and it really surprised me when i heard that a lot of people hated it

10. A song people normally like that you don’t? “Feel Special” by TWICE - BEFORE YOU COME FOR ME, I DO ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SONG! however, i like “Fancy” a lot better, but the consensus with most onces is that “Feel Special” is superior, which i disagree with. both songs are great, but my personal preference is more upbeat happier songs, hence why i like “Fancy” better

11. A song you would call a masterpiece? “Dope Queen Blues” by Adia Victoria - this is arguably my favorite genre/style of music and it is just perfect, Adia Victoria is a wonderful artist, she has a perfect blend of melancholy lyrics, a haunting voice, and plenty of soul that just genuinely makes this song (well any of them really) a true masterpiece in my opinion, definitely listen to her if you love blues/soul music

12. A song you recently (within the last 30 days) discovered and really liked? “No Shame” by Eric Nam - i had been meaning to listen to some of Eric Nam’s music because i never had before but wanted to give it a try and this happened to come on my playlist earlier today and i really dug it right of the bat, so i’ll definitely need to check out more of his stuff

13. A song you listen to that gets you pumped/ready to tear down the government/fight? “Absinthe” by punchnello - this song makes me wanna punch holes in walls and curb stomp bitches that test me, it’s so aggressive and i like listening to it when i’m pissed off about something or other (also i would never actually curb stomp someone, i’m too much of a softie and i get steamrolled on the daily because i’m a huge pushover)

holy shit this was actually a lot harder than i expected it to be, but thanks to @thefullmobb for tagging me in this, i really liked doing this! i will be tagging @kihyunsbabe @wonuflower @wonseoks @dejoovu @baekhyunbitz @joohoneybunch @broccoli-channie-soup and anyone else who would like to participate!

#tag game #tag meme #music #ray rambles #thefullmobb #kihyunsbabe #wonuflower #wonseoks #baekhyunbitz #broccoli-channie-soup #joohoneybunch #dejoovu

[goofygoldengirl]

Ok Everyone I’m On A Roll Today

I’m gonna give you a proper explanation as to why we’ll never get a Led Zeppelin movie.

Buckle up cause this is gonna get long. 

We, as classic rock fans live in an age of reminiscence. We take out our records, cds, mp3s and sit back, relax, and think of the glory days that we’ve never experienced if we’re under the age of 50. Even though we’re decently mainstream, The Queen movie Bohemian Rhapsody took interest in classic rock to new heights. It was critically acclaimed, Rami Malek won an oscar, and fans of other bands of the 60s-80s stirred with anticipation for the day they would get their band in the limelight. A fan, like myself, and many others, knowing that 2019 marks the 50th anniversary of Led Zeppelin’s (also referred here as LZ) creation (although they officially got together in 1968) perhaps are wondering if they are going to get a surprise biopic announcement in the near future.

However, I have come to crush everybody’s dreams. The answer is never as long as the remaining band members are still alive. Now before y’all get out your pitchforks, let’s focus our attention to the most important member of this debate: guitarist James Patrick Page, also known as Jimmy Page, Pagey, and Jimmurs back in the deviantart LZ community in 2010.

Although Led Zeppelin arose from the planning and careful selection of the higher ups at Atlantic Records (mostly manager Peter Grant although Jimmy was the one who went out to find members) Led Zeppelin, is Jimmy Page’s masterpiece, his opus magnum, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought of his band to be like one of his children, perhaps his favorite. Understandably, he was devastated when the band broke up after drummer John Bonham’s death from alcohol poisoning, and everybody knows he wants the band to be back together in some shape or form. This of course sparked a feud with singer Robert Plant, who also understandably was doing well in his solo career and wanted to move on. Depending on who you talk to, it’s never really been officially resolved despite the 2007 concert and Robert’s final declaration that he will never do anything Led Zeppelin related ever again, Jimmy has focused on other matters such as remixing LZ albums and releasing concert dvds. In addition to that, there are several other matters worth pointing out. In the past, and even to this day, it was extremely difficult to get ahold of LZ songs to use in tv and movie soundtracks because Jimmy, unofficially “in charge” of LZ music distribution is overprotective of how his music is used (probably stemming from LZ’s hatred of concert bootleggers but that’s a different story). We also have a long history of lawsuits that accuse LZ of plagiarism and ripoffs stemming from the 70s, that have taken a hit to LZ’s musical reputation. Looking at Jimmy’s defensive stance over the band’s music and public image, we segway to our next question.

Can a Led Zeppelin movie give an authentic and enjoyable experience for audiences?

We know from the nearly ten year saga to create a Queen movie that there was a lot of contention between the remaining band members and directors over portrayal of the members’ personal lives within Queen, and Queen pushing for a more family friendly image. In the end, the movie earned a PG 13 rating, an acceptable negotiation for both parties, and a good rating to draw in an audience. Assuming that using this model will bring in the most amount of money and recognition for future biopic movies, we shall apply it to the band Led Zeppelin.

A PG 13 rated Led Zeppelin movie would be impossible to do. No offense to Queen (they’re my second favorite band behind Zep so I’m allowed to say this) but they are tame compared to the antics that Led Zeppelin got up to back in their heyday. We’re talking about what you imagine when you think of the rock n roll lifestyle. Loud music, jet setting, partying all night, sex, drugs, trashing hotel rooms, groupies, more drugs, more sex, getting trashed at the club, pump it up baby a whole hecka lotta YOW times10! Led Zeppelin were a bunch of party animal freaks (Bassist John Paul Jones is debatable but there was New Orleans)and well you could attempt to focus directly on the music, but a lot of the music in the later years ties into that crazy rock n roll lifestyle (Sick Again from Physical Graffiti and For Your Life from Presence) and Jimmy Page’s descent into heroin addiction and John Bonham’s gradual and tragic deterioration from years of alcohol abuse had a profound affect on how the band members got along during the In Through The Outdoor sessions and is the reason why it still has a very mixed reception and is ranked low on favorite LZ albums.

A rated R movie could work, you may say. I mean look at the Doors movie. Yeah but even though The Doors got trippy and Jim Morrison was a character man, a Led Zeppelin rated R movie would be a very hard rated R. Again, this goes back to all the tour commotion, where especially in the early years, a lot of sordid stuff happened. And I know you’re thinking, I can live watching a couple of sex scenes. Oh sweet summer child who has not gone through the threshold of transitioning from a Led Zeppelin fan who strictly listens to their music to searching out their history, inspiration, stories from the countless biographies out there, we are talking about some fucked up stuff that I am not gonna even talk about in this post for fear of invoking the wrath of the tumblr flag gods, and that the more sensitive leaning people might consider to be NC17 stuff. And there is a difference between detailing this information in a niche book that only diehard fans will pick up, and putting it in a movie intended for everybody and no shit sherlock you will get controversy. 

And you may ask, who are the subjects of such controversial tales? Basically everybody, although as we said JPJ falls into bassists are usually boring category, Robert Plant had a pretty good amount of moments because no shit he was hot back then and who wouldn’t go wild over him. And our main offenders of depravity and strife? John Bonham, Jimmy Page, and special mention to tour manager (and subject of much controversy within the Led Zeppelin fandom itself) Richard Cole. And if based on director’s tendencies to capture the authentic even if it involves shock content, the depictions of these three men will garner a lot of attention. While John Bonham is dead and cannot speak for himself, the other two can. Based on Richard Cole’s tell all contributions to the classic 1980s publication that detailed LZ’s rise and fall, Hammer of The Gods, he’ll probably just pop up out of the woodworks and bask in the next 15 minutes of fame. But Jimmy? James Patrick I will do anything to keep Led Zeppelin’s reputation in a good light Page? Oh he’ll have a field day alright. And it’s not just bracing ourselves for the inevitable telling directors what they can and cannot put in, it’s also opening the huge, sticky, labeled with a giant TRIGGER WARNING can of worms what exactly Jimmy was doing that would be so controversial both then and now. Now, I know that everyone in the Led Zeppelin fandom knows what I’m about to say, probably some in the classic rock fandom in general who knows things here and there, too, but this is for everybody who doesn’t know. Jimmy Page in the 1970s dated teenage girls. And to clarify, I’m not talking about that gray line that people debate about of 18 technically signaling adult years, yet is still a vulnerable age, I’m talking about girls, minors, who were14-16 when he was nearly or in his 30s. And the relationship that is the most documented (Lori Maddox for the LZ fans reading) oh my god, it is just messed up. Like basically stalked and kidnapped her so they could meet, and in the relationship locked her up in hotel rooms while he was in concerts messed up. You might say it was the 70s, they just turned a blind eye well honey it’s 2019, and a topic as dicey as a grown ass man going after children is not gonna be ignored in this day and age where people are starting to pay more attention to issues like these. I know that if a director decides to devote a segment of that movie to that part of Jimmy’s past (and present if you think about him going out with 20 something year old women when he’s in his 70s) it will basically destroy his own reputation. Which is very, very much intertwined with Led Zeppelin’s. So if he takes a hit, LZ does too, and he cannot afford to let that happen. And if this means having to decline an offer for a biopic in order to preserve a sliver of integrity that is just dangling by a thread as old news becomes common knowledge, so be it. 

Oh yeah the christians will probably get wound up again about LZ being satanic or some shit due to Alestier Crowley and the whole playing Stairway to Heaven backwards thing but hey they’re irrelevant to this discussion

So the TLDR: We’re never getting a Led Zeppelin movie. Reputation is everything to Jimmy Page and a movie that goes into some hardcore detail about band “shenanigans” will serve us a whopping discourse for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, that will get the movie, and the band slammed hard. 

#led zeppelin #movie #classic rock #classic rock fandom #led zeppelin fandom #an essay a discourse

[neshabeingchildish]

Henry has a lot of inner thoughts that I’d italicized, but Tumblr always undoes that. So, the link is here because Idk that I’ll feel like going through to italicize it all again.

Mob Boss Joss Moss

Joss wasn't ready to jump to any immediate action on this matter. Firstly, although she was convinced, she would definitely have to have proof before just disappearing some kid in Swellview. She didn't have that kind of steelo just yet. A town like this, a kid goes missing and that's grounds to shut the whole town down. Bet it Kid Danger goes missing… well that meant that Captain Man had to show up. "Henry. Why don't we go back inside? I've got a little business with Natalie. You can wash up and get dressed and get ready to indulge." She gave him a point on the nose and turned to head to the beach house.

"I like indulging," Henry said, bashfully. His phone was inside. He didn't really need it. If the Man Cave needed him while he was in the water, they could reach him on the Whiz Watch. But, he checked it when he got inside, anyway. No signal. 

He set it down and Joss commented, "I'm having a bath drawn for us. There's dental supplies and refreshments waiting in there for you to get started while I quickly get up to speed on some business."

He blushed and nodded. Bath. For. Us? She and he? Like.. in the same…? Was it GO TIME?? More like HOE time, amarite? Nervous laughter. Why was he nervously laughing in his voiceover? Henry rushed into the bathroom and tried to contact Charlotte on his Whiz Watch. 

"Henry! Thank GOD! I've been trying to call you for… what are you wearing?"

"It's surf wear! But, I gotta tell you something. I think I'm in over my head. Joss had a bath drawn for us and I don't know what to do!"

"Get out of there! That lady Butler she has was in the store not too long ago and whatever she was up to, I know it was no good."

"Okay, so skip the bath, or…"

"SKIP THE BATH!" Charlotte screeched.

"Okay. I'll…" Joss came in and he shut off the connection. 

She raised her eyebrow and asked, "What the heck was that?"

"Nothing. Charlotte. I mean.. I've got one of those Pear watches that you can… SOooo… I don't know about this bath, Joss…"

"If you're shy, I'll turn around, so you can get in." She turned around and he nervously looked around the room. He couldn't see a way out. Maybe he'd get in the bath, and just have to try to escape later? What would Charlotte do? She'd consider the fact that I'm outnumbered and if I run, that many people will be after me on an island I'm not familiar with, with no Man Copter here to retrieve me yet. BUT, I can hide it out while they come to rescue me… They don't know where I am! Oh, but the location on my…

"Are you not interested in this, Henry?" Joss asked, with her back still turned.

"Of course I am…" he giggled and stepped into the tub in his surf short set. "I'm just gonna undress in here, beneath the bubbles and flower petals…" but within a few moments, he was passed out from the tonic that had been put into the bath. Joss grabbed a pair of rubber gloves from beneath the cabinet to let the water out without it touching her.

She whistled once and a few of her men came to collect him and bound him. "Search him for any devices that can be traced back to him, leave it all here and throw him in the boat." After that she took a shower. She smelled like beach.

.

Whenever the Man Copter hovered above the beach house, Charlotte read the scans. "Henry isn't here, but his stuff is." Captain Man went to go get it, in case there were henchmen waiting. There were. He fought them off, collected his things and got back into his ride. "We'll have to check all of the known Moss hideaways. Henry could be anywhere!” She was frustrated, but now wasn’t the time to vent her furious “I told all of you idiots” wrath… But, they’d better believe it was coming, eventually.

Captain Man, Schwoz and Jasper had separated to go check out hideouts as Charlotte found them and would alert the Man Cave whenever they located Henry, so that Captain Man would rush to the rescue. Charlotte wanted to go too, but she felt very passionately about making sure that Henry was found, before he was seriously hurt or something.

.

Henry blinked his eyes and his vision came in, a little blurry, but he realized soon that he was either drugged or bound or both. “Shwhat?” He said.

“Hello, Henry,” Joss said, now wearing an all black suit, with a team of decoys behind her and Natalie with her arms folded, glaring.

“This bath is trippy,” Henry said and laughed. 

“It’s the tonic that we slipped in it that has you trippy, Cute Stuff.” She said, leaning closer to him. “Don’t worry, it’ll wear off by the time Captain Man gets here.”

“Captain Man is coming here? You know him?” Henry asked.

“I know that you do, and that’s enough for me,” she said, turned on the balls of her feet and said, “Lock it up.” 

Henry eventually really came to inside of this cell, tied up with his arms out and legs down, like he was being crucified, and honestly, he was more worried about ow Charlotte was gonna nail him to the cross whenever he made it back to the Man Cave. What was she gonna say to him. “You were thinking with Jasper’s brain again, Henry. You do stupid stuff, Henry. She’s not even that cute and you got yourself drugged and tied up! Should’ve just let her kill you for being stupid! Naw… Charlotte would never go that far.” He tried to focus his eyes and study the room. His head was still spinning a little. “But, she warned me to be careful and I absolutely did not…” He noticed an opening in the ceiling where a vent was and began to look to see if he could possibly maneuver his way up there from where he was. “The gag is I literally tried to think with Charlotte’s brain, at every turn. Well, I didn’t TRY, but I kept finding myself doing that. Whenever you know somebody that smart, you try to see the world through their eyes, to make yourself better. You’re not supposed to view the world through… your one eyed monster…” He threw his head back and now said, “Charlotte, if you save me, I promise to not think with the wrong head again!”

Charlotte heard him speaking in the background somewhere. “Hen!” She whispered to herself. Wherever Joss had the camera that Charlotte planted on her, that’s where she was keeping Henry, or at least where he was being monitored from. She tracked it and tried to get in touch with the others, to let them know where Henry actually was… “Schwoz! I’ve found Henry. I’m sending the address out right now.”

Schwoz said, “I seem to have fallen into a boobsie trap. I am going to need to figure out a way to get out of here. Go on without me.”

“Wait. Those places have boobie traps! That means Jasper has probably gotten trapped too!” She tried to get in touch with Jasper, who was in fact, caught in a trap, but able to reach his phone. He pressed the button, then dropped it though and groaned trying to reach it. “Jasper? Jasper? Are you stuck in a boobie trap?”

“More like a butt trap!” He yelled to the phone and looked behind him at the gobs of bubblegum he was stuck in. “I sure hope this is just pressed and not chewed gum…” 

She rolled her eyes and hung up. “Captain Man… If you tell me that you’re stuck in a boobie trap, I will lose it!”

“Okay. Then, I will not tell you that. But, if you can get Schwoz to come to where I am for something completely unrelated, that will be appreciated.” She hung up on him too. 

“I am the only professional in this outfit!” She screamed, grabbing rescue gear. Those idiots in the traps would have to fend for themselves for a moment. She’d send the police to try to help, but Henry was actually in the clutches of a villain, so that’s where she was headed first. She probably should go to Ray first… but… No… These are the same people who (not knowing that he was Captain Man) were going to barbeque someone! She had to get to Henry in a hurry. She hated driving, but Henry was in trouble and her heart was beating in her throat now that she remembered that he could be being roasted on an open fire. “Henry, if you die before I can rescue you, I am gonna kill you dead!” 

.

Henry took a deep breath and struggled again to at least budge his restraints, but it was no good. He only tired himself out for the fifth time and now, he had to catch his breath again. Besides, they were probably watching him, anyways. He started (now) looking to see if he could detect any hidden cameras and wondering about if help was on the way. Probably not. Charlotte told him to get out of there and what did he do? Get in the bathtub and got himself skin drugged. He didn’t even know that was possible. But, what could he have done? Maybe mushed Joss in the face and took off running? But, if she wasn’t a mobster chick and he’d just mushed her face and ran, imagine the backlash for that!

Henry Hart, the Playground Pooper has entered news today again, after pushing Joss Moss’s face with his wide open hand and leaving abruptly following a fun date! Like… I need another L this year. My biggest L is not listening to Charlotte. I shouldn’t even have been on the date! I guess… I was really just trying to keep my mind off of all the weirdness with her lately. I don’t even know if she knows, but I KNOW, so… I don’t know, you know? WHO am I speaking with, here? This is an inner-monologue. Why ask ‘you know?’ to yourself, Dude? And now, you’re just off topic…

He thought that he saw a small flicker of a light in the corner. But, probably not. Charlotte was most likely doing everything in her power to get him home safely. The others probably were doing… well… what they could. Now, all he could think about was how he might die here. He might not get out. He might not get rescued. He might die and Charlotte might not ever know that he thought about her. 

If I make it out of here, I should at least tell her about that weird inception dream that I had where she was dreaming about me kissing her. She’ll think that means that I wanna kiss her though, and I DON’T… But… I will if she figures out a way to save me. Ugh. She’d probably hate that. She’ll probably hate to hear that I had this dream. She’ll probably ask, “Why couldn’t you just dream about kissing me? Why dream about me dreaming about kissing you?” And give me the most wrinkled ‘You’re an idiot’ grimace that her face can contort into. 

Man… My arms and legs are gonna be so sore. I could really use a sit in Piper’s massage chair when I get out of here. The things that I wouldn’t do to be in that chair again… I hope that Charlotte remembers me a hero, and not an idiot. Why am I back on this Charlotte line of thinking? I need to be thinking LIKE Charlotte to get out of here, not ABOUT Charlotte…

He sighed and threw his head back again, wishing that he was drugged again. All of his muscles were hurting, at this point and he could simply die, to be honest. He was ready. “I’m ready to die, now!” He called out, to whoever was probably watching him. 

“You’d better not be!” He heard Charlotte snap in s low hiss.

His head perked up and... yes! She came through the door and there were two guards unconscious in front of it. She had the look on her face, but he knew that she didn’t have time to really give it to him, so she was in there, getting him down, with the door jammed opened, so that nobody could shut her inside while she cut him loose.

“I expected to find Captain Man to the rescue, but somehow… This will bring me more pleasure,” Joss said,  when she saw her on the camera. “I’m going to go handle this,” she told Natalie. “Have the clean up crew on standby.”

Charlotte had almost gotten Henry loose when she heard the clacking of shoes coming down the hallway and she said, “It’s Joss!” Henry was released enough to free himself and she really didn’t want to be trapped in there, too, with all the guys incapacitated, so she said, “Be right back!” And got out of the room. 

She saw Joss, standing on the far end. She stopped walking and shook her head. “This was a very stupid thing for a girl as smart as you to do, Charlotte.”

“Bold of you to think that I’ve been working with him for all these years and a little bit of stupid didn’t rub off,” Charlotte said, smoothly and pointed a thumb at Henry, who was trying to free himself. 

“It’s not ‘a little stupid’ it’s VERY stupid,” Joss reiterated. 

“Look, I don’t really like to do a lot of overexertion, so can the fight sequence start? Because the sooner it starts, the sooner it ends, and an episode of Titans drops tonight…” Charlotte said, unphased. “Oh, but… you don’t blink for bugs,” Charlotte said. 

“Thank you for reminding me,” Joss said and then clacked her fan, which sent a small army of Joss decoys charging at Charlotte.

She reached for her zapper and shook her head, “You hate to see it,” she said and began to zap each of them down until they stopped coming for her. By that time, Henry had gotten himself free. “She knows who you are, so you might as well get ready for the fight.”

“The fight. It’s just her. We can just take her in,” Henry said, pointing a hand at Joss. Joss smirked and took off running, Charlotte gave chase, almost immediately. There was no way she was letting her get away! Henry blew a bubble and headed in that direction, too… but henchmen came. “OF COURSE!” He grumbled and began to fight them off as Charlotte vanished behind Joss through a door that shut after she went through. CHAR! He fought the henchmen down and went to try to find Charlotte, just in case she was rushing into another trap. Joss really didn’t seem to like her. But, he couldn’t budge the door… “Char!” He screamed.

“Henry?” She called back. “Ummm… This is a trap…” She said. “I think I can make it out. Go around and try to get her!” 

He nodded, but when he turned, Joss was right there and she spun around and kicked him in the face. “Oh my God! That hurt!” Joss let out a loud shriek and kicked him again as he leaned over and knocked him out that time. She shook her head at her henchmen and decoys, then opened the door for Charlotte who rushed out and immediately checked on Henry.

“There is more danger where this came from,” she said, smugly.

Charlotte nodded her head, gently set Henry’s on the ground and stood up. “Yeah, there is. For you!”

#This Means War #Mob Boss Joss Moss #Nesha HD Fics #henry danger #hd fanfic

[ofalsehoods]

so uh…………i’m probably going to lose a lot of followers for admitting what i’m about to admit, but i also feel like this is something i need to get off my chest because i’m sort of in a Crisis(TM) right now so. here i go.

everybody says that mun ≠ muse. even with someone like lotor, who i project a lot onto. however, in the past few days, i have been fearing increasingly that that mun-muse barrier has broken down. and i fear that if i continue to rp lotor the way i do, this problem will only get worse.

for even more context, i’m going to tell you guys a story that happened a long time ago. some of you may or may not know that after season 6 dropped and lotor was revealed to be a big bad, i considered making him in his “dark” verse a rapist. i have decided not to rp in that verse on tumblr, so you won’t be seeing any of that content here but anyway…one of my friends cut me off for that, saying that playing my character as a rapist would give me a gross personality. i rolled my eyes at this and thought “good riddance,” thinking i could never be affected by how i play my character. but the more i play lotor as a shitty person, the more i begin to feel as though that person was right.

idk if i’ve mentioned this on my blog before but i literally play lotor as the worst of me. and the worst of me says that if i perceive someone to be in the moral wrong, it’s okay for me or somebody else to hurt them. i was mulling over this during exercise the other day when i was literally like “hm……yeah………lotor has a point, if somebody went around killing corrupt politicians i’d probably be cheering them on.” that immediately concerned me, because i had never thought that way before, and i wondered if lotor had been the cause of that. but i managed to ignore it, put it out of my mind. ooc could never be ic, right?

until today.

today i said some really shitty things about a friend because i perceived them to be in the wrong, and another friend (one that i’ve had for 4 going on 5 years) cut me off because of it. after a few hours of talking to people, i started wondering why i didn’t care that i was being cruel. and then i realized: it’s because i thought that the friend i talked about was wrong. it’s because i thought they weren’t being straightforward with me--and that wasn’t true, they had just changed their mind. i also thought they were mad at me simply because i had consulted the opinion of somebody other than them………guess what? that also wasn’t true. i thought they had no right to think the way they did, and so i was justified in responding however i wanted.

like lotor, i have this problem where i think that if people are wrong, especially from a moral standpoint, they need to be punished. also like lotor, i also have this problem where i think that if people are morally wrong i don’t have to care about their feelings because they deserve what’s coming to them. finally, like lotor, i have this problem that i feel like if i lash out at people who do bad things, i’m only going to hurt the bad people like my abusive parents. but that’s not true for either of us. lotor has killed and tortured innocents because he thought they did something wrong. and i have hurt the people who are closest to me. 

this isn’t the first time i’ve hurt my friends with this mindset. i’ve done it a ton of other times as well. one time i called one of my friends replaceable because i thought he had acted in a guilt-trippy way, and because i felt he was being selfish. another time one of my friends said an opinion that i thought was “dangerous,” and i ripped into him--even after he had been shat on by an entire group of his other friends. a third time, when an irl friend tried to help me with my image issues by saying stuff that reminded me of how my mother talked to me, i told her to shut up because i wanted to block her and she ended up blocking me first. a few years ago i yelled at and blocked my college counselor because i thought he was conspiring with my mom to limit my independence, which, like all the other suspicions, wasn’t true. oh yeah and……way back in high school, i remember that i felt as though one of my friends was being racist, so i told him to “shut the fuck up white boy and sit the fuck down.” there are probably other examples that i can’t think of, but these are what i can think of for now.

the point is, i always assume the worst in everybody and so i feel like any hurt i cause is self-defense. i act like i trust my friends, but the moment they do something wrong i feel like some deep-seated subconscious suspicion has been proven all along and i need to hurt them to punish them, to stop them from hurting me or other people. i say that “bad people” should be hurt and punished, but i see “bad people” even where i shouldn’t. i see evil everywhere, i have started seeing it even in my friends, and if i see it even in my friends, nobody is safe from me. 

that’s not the kind of person i want to be.

i don’t have like, a multi-step plan on how to change myself. i honestly am not even sure where to begin. but i’m wondering if taking a break from lotor, playing him in a different way or ceasing to rp him altogether is step one. i can’t help but feel like being this close to him and having so many plots and headcanons where he hurts people he thinks have wronged him has poisoned my thinking, and is slowly turning me more and more toxic and vengeful. he may not have been the start of this behavior pattern, but he sure as hell isn’t helping. i mean, it’s already pretty clear to me that he’s influenced my political thinking as i said in that example above, so………why wouldn’t he also be at play here?

i’m too exhausted and saddened to continue this post so i’m just going to end it. 

dear friend who cut me off last year, if you just so happen to be reading this………i think i see your point.

#word of god™. || tian speaks

[kyliehorsegirl]

You Can See Me? (Michael Langdon x Reader) REQUEST

A/N: This was really interesting chapter to write. It’s kinda sad but has a happy ending (kinda lol) MASTERLIST 

Requested By: @albeeox “reader is Cordelia’s daughter but died and is in her own hell or the hotel. Cordelia can’t save her, reader thinks she doesn’t want to. (I asked the requester what their personal hell would be and it was being invisible, lots of people but they can’t hear or see her.) Michael saves her and they are attracted to each other.

Word Count: 1449

Warnings: Mentions of self harm and suicide. Kind of angst a bit sad. 

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They pass by, but they don’t see me. They don’t hear my screams, maybe they do, but they ignore me. I never knew insanity until I came to hell. As much as I’m not a people person, I do need human interaction. I scream, I cry and I claw at the walls. No one blinks an eye at me, it’s like I don’t even exist.

 Several years ago, my mother inducted the test of the seven wonders. Misty and I were left in Descensum. It’s been awful. I’m in what appears to be a mall. The fact that I’ve have been here for years is absolute torture. No matter how hard I try there is no escape. I just want to get out. I see the same people pass by.

I’m stuck in a loop. The same stores, the same people, nothing changes. For the billionth time I collapse on the floor and cry. It’s not cute crying, it’s ugly crying. I don’t want to be here. I want to go home. So many emotions have come forward in the last few years.

Anger, I would break anything in sight, I would try to hurt people only for me to phase right through them.

Confusion, I’d wonder and wonder before realizing I was walking in circles.

Sadness, I would cry all the time.

Loneliness, I’d feel sick being so alone, no one to talk to, no one to acknowledge me.

Happiness? I never felt that. This is eternal suffering.

 I‘ve tried to kill myself. That’s hard to do when you are already dead. I’ve tried to feel physical pain, but any mutilation I cause, goes away. Like someone hit the reset button.

 I’m on the floor, in a puddle of my own tears. I hear footsteps, I always hear footsteps so I don’t look up. That is until I see two pointed shoes in front of me. I see them between my arms.

 No one has ever stopped in front of me before. I look up slowly. I see a young man. His clothes are different than anyone else here. His hair is curled around his ears and brushed nicely. He looks posh. His clothes look like he belongs to a boy’s school or something. His cold eyes look down to me.

 I push myself to my knees.

 “You can see me?” He cocks his head intriguingly.

 “You can tell?” His voice is beautiful.

 “Yeah, I um, I’ve been stuck here for 3 years. In my own hell. No one can see me. No one can hear me. I try to talk to them or touch them, but it’s like I don’t exist. It’s torture.” I look down letting a tear fall. He crouches, eye level with me. He brings his thumb to wipe a tear from my cheek.

 “I’m here to take you away.” He stands up straight and offers a hand to me.

 “How? Why? Why would you to that?” I look from his hand back to the cold eyes.

 “I felt your presence while I was here retrieving someone else. Someone you know actually, she’s waiting outside the door.” I carefully reach for his hands and he helps pull me up.

 “Someone I know?” I wipe my eyes with my long sleeve. A small smirk present on his lips.

 “Misty Day.” My eyes go wide. We were both lost to Descensum.

 “You were here for Misty?” I let emotions over take me, I think to my mother, did she not want me? Has she forgot about me?

 “Hush your thoughts little one. My name is Michael Langdon. I am performing the test of the 7 wonders. Before you question why a male is performing the test of a supreme, it’s a bit more complicated than I can explain right now. When I bring you back I will answer any question you have. Misty is waiting behind the door and the others are waiting out of Descensum.” I’m frozen. I can’t comprehend everything that I’m hearing.

 “Come on.” He pulls me with him. I trailed behind him like a lost puppy. Still not believing I’m being freed. He looks over his shoulder at me, grabbing my hand he pulls me to walk next to him. A large hand is placed on the small of my back. I shutter at the action, the first human touch in 3 years.

 A large door appears. It opens on its own. I see Misty. So many feelings over take me. However, the strong feeling of resentment is made known. Her eyes light up when she sees me. She collides into me holding me tight.

“Y/n! I missed you so much! It was miserable reliving everything over and over. I’m so glad you’re here.”  She cries into my hair. I lightly pat her back. Everything is so overwhelming.

 Michael has us walk down the dark hall. Its lined with doors. This must be personal hells for individual people. Next thing I know it goes black.

 Omniscient p.o.v

Michael awakens with a gasp. The warlocks and witches swarm him.

 “Where’s Misty?” That’s all Cordelia can say to him. He is taking deep breaths as he sits up. Misty materializes next to him. Cordelia engulfs her in a hug. She cries happy tears. The warlocks help Michael to a chair as he continues to catch his breath.

 No one would have expected another body to materialize. Y/n appears near Michael. The entire room is quiet. Zoe starts crying, Maddison’s eyes are the size of saucers, Queenie made some shocked comment and Mrytle brought her hands to her mouth as she chokes a sob and Cordelia stays silent.

 Michael gets up and kneels down to her. He helps her to her feet. Everyone stays silent, staring at the two of them. When Y/n got her bearings, she turned to her mother.

 “So, mom you didn’t want to bring me back?” Her eyes are dark as she glares at her mom.

 “Y/n I, I didn’t I don’t know what to say.” She is choking on her words not knowing what to say.

 “You don’t have anything to say! You didn’t want me. You chose for Misty to be retrieved by Michael, not me your own daughter! If there was an idea that I could be brought back you didn’t even think about me? How could you! You know what? He chose to bring me back! He doesn’t even know me! Explain that mother!” Angry tears start to cloud her vision.

 “Y/n please, I’ve missed you everyday since you’ve been gone.” Cordelia takes careful steps to her.

 “I’m sure you have Cordelia, you really show it.” Y/n shoves past everyone and makes her way to some random room.

“There is not doubt that you are the next supreme.”

 “Anything else.” Michael

 “No, no you are the next supreme.” With that Cordelia faints, blood drips down her nose. Misty is sent back with an unknown force. She looks to Michael with a scared expression before Michael makes his way through everyone following the trail of energy that Y/n left.

 Normal p.o.v

I found a room to cry in. I was drawn to the room, it was warm and comforting. Sitting on the bed, I bring my knees to my chest. I sense someone at the door.

 “Go away!” It’s muffled through my clothes. The presence still comes in. It feels familiar.

 “Hard for me to go away when this is my room.” I look up to find Michael in the doorway.

 “O my god I’m so sorry I’ll leave.” I go to get up but he brings his hand up. I sit back down on the bed.

 “I am sorry, sorry that your mother didn’t want to bring you back. I felt something in you, it made me want to bring you back. If you will have me, I will give myself to you, be there for you.” He takes a seat on the bed next to me. He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear.

 “I was alone for so long, I don’t know how to act anymore. I just wanted to have someone to talk to. My mother doesn’t even want me. I would like to have someone.” At this point my tears have been dried.

 “Y/n, I will be loyal to you. I will be there for you for whatever you need.” His hands caress my cheek. Leaning into his hand I sigh.

 “I would like that. I would really like that Michael.” I lay my head in his chest as he holds me tight. My mom will regret not wanting to bring me back. I will stand my Michael no matter what.

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@albeeox I hope you enjoyed this! 

Langdon Taglist

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#michael langdon #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon fanfiction #michael langdon x fem!reader #Michael langdon imagine #Michael langdon imagines #ahs #ahs apocalypse #ahs8 #ahs coven #american horror story #American horror story fanfiction #american horror story imagine