#i will accept netflix!jaskier where the missing bits are anything besides the platonic ideal of the migratory slash fan dream ship.

[littlestsnicket]

jaskier where:

- dijkstra is like “i know you are fundamentally incapable of doing so, but please do this one singular simple thing” and jaskier comes back having done ten things, five of which are moderately useful, one of which would have been useful if dijkstra knew it was going to happen in advance but is now a problem, three of which are just baffling (but one has given dijkstra an idea), and one that has immediately caused a problem that will take days to fix, but the thing dijkstra has asked for is absolutely not done. and dijkstra wonders if he should have had jaskier hung for treason when he had the chance.

- he is almost uncannily observant but takes minutes to days to actually process new information, so he is completely useless in the moment but the poetry or song he writes about it later is going to be brilliantly insightful.

- he is very good at what he usually does, which is monetize his natural instinct to collect information of all kinds, but is laughably bad at actual intelligence work.

-his brain turns off when he’s scared and sometimes he’ll do something heroic at great personal risk but mostly he’ll freeze and start crying. (in accordance with book canon, jaskier looses his shit and stands in the middle of a battlefield and refuses to move, directly resulting in geralt getting kicked in the head by a horse, but then gets both of them to safety.)

- he would go rabidly stir crazy if he had to spend the whole winter at kaer morhen. he couldn’t even handle being stuck in oxenfurt, which is an entire city, for semesters at a time as a professor. he would loose his entire fucking mind stuck in a keep in the mountains with a handful of other people.

#the witcher #jaskier #what i want is more netflix!jaskier where people filled in the missing bits with book stuff. #i will accept netflix!jaskier where the missing bits are anything besides the platonic ideal of the migratory slash fan dream ship. #this is an overwhelmingly large fandom #more of the context i want must exist. it’s just hard for me to find it #and i write so slowly. i can’t just make my own