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1rintooru · 3 years

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Haikyuu!! as their Zodiac Signs

Starring Oikawa Tooru as cancer

Soo there are a couple of fundamental traits associated with cancer’s: They are loyal, protective, intuitive and caring. On the flipside they can be overly sensitive, moody and prone to be vindictive. I’ll start with the good and see where and how they apply best to him.

Positive Traits:

Loyal:

I can totes see Oikawa as being a loyal person and this reflects itself in a couple of areas in his life. Firstly, his long-term friendship with his childhood best friend Iwaizumi. The two seem to have very different approaches to life, people and how they confront problems. Despite their differences, they balance each other out and take their friendship seriously. Iwaizumi is probably one of the very few people he’s authentic with since Iwaizumi can clearly tell when he’s being genuine or not. He’s also incredibly loyal to volleyball who would have thought and even though he may have had his doubts when he felt burnt out, he’d always end up returning back to the sport. He is so loyal and one-track minded when it comes to volleyball that it apparently got in the way of his previous relationship, so it’s clear that it’s a priority. Cancers are known for being extremely loyal partners and even may stay in relationships that are unhealthy because of this. I have a hard time imagining Oikawa as this playboy because he’s very much an all-or-nothing kinda guy.

Protective:

Hmmm I didn’t really see Oikawa as protective at first. But I do think he’s quite family-orientated since he coaches his nephew (along with other children) and is seen to spend time with him. But this dude is so protective of his pride like get a grip. Even though shiratorizawa was the better option, he refused to go because of his “worthless pride”. This guy holds onto certain beliefs and ideologies that really do more harm to him than good and they can show themselves in really toxic ways- like him overworking himself or almost beating kageyama up like chill tf out

Intuitive:

All waters signs are innately intuitive and cancers are no exception and I think Oikawa exemplifies that well. Oikawa is excellent at reading his teammates as well as his opponents. He can manipulate opposing teams by spotting their weaknesses but also has the ability of bringing his team together and bringing out the best of his teammates. His intuition gives him a lot of social grace as well (even if he acts like a child a lot of the time). He really does have the gift of gab and can probs sweet talk his way out of anything- he knows what social mask to wear for which occasion. Even Iwaizumi has said that he’s only seen Oikawa smile genuinely once. That’s not to say that this bish is fake, but he is highly adaptable und will tailor his actions based around those around him- he’s a social chameleon and there’s only few exceptions where he’s truly himself.

Caring:

He cares a lot about a lot of things. It probably seems like all he thinks about 24/7 is volleyball which is partly true, but he does care about others a lot as well. Again, his friendship with Iwaizumi showcases this really well, but also his connection to his family and his nephew in particular. He can be savage classy, bougie, ratchet on the volleyball court, but outside of it he actually seems really polite?? Like he takes time out of his day to interact with his fangirls even though they probably can be overbearing at times or even get in the way of getting to and from practice- yet he still takes photos for them and is appreciative when they offer him bentos?? And unlike Kageyama, Oikawa truly is a teamplayer and brings out the 100% of his team- even when they lose, he is never resentful or regretful. I’ve also felt that his teammates are not just his teammates because he seems pretty close with all of them and they all have banter back and forth. Oikawa is truly great at making sure these bonds and interactions are harmonious. To bring out their strengths but also bc I think Oikawa would be sensitive to conflict.

Negative traits:

Overly-sensitive:

Yeah, for sure. He tends to take things personally, even impersonal criticism or objective advice. He’s the type of guy who probably remembers something innocuous you said only to bring it up again months later. He was also really bent out of shape when kiyoko ignored him it’s not that deep dude. Cancers are not really the aggressive type, so I doubt you’ll get into an explosive fight (it can happen ofc, but they’ll probably think abt hurting you than actually doing anything) but they are so effing petty! They will resort to childish antics, petty remarks and are prone to being passive aggressive. These are all qualities that we have seen Oikawa exhibit, so I’m not even going to elaborate more.

Moody:

I think this fits him well. He does manage to put on a good social mask and depending on the situation, he can maneuver his way through life with his charm and social skills. However, he isn’t like ushijima, akaashi or suna who tend to not let outward factors affect their emotions. He’s a very reactive person and feels deeply to what is happening around him. A lot of cancers (esp in my experience) have the tendency to go MIA and retreat into their shells. I haven’t seen Oikawa do this as frequently, I think. For him, home is where the heart is and his heart is with volleyball. He doesn’t really brood or fall into a cycle of self-pity- he’s just too ambitious for that. Instead, he’ll throw himself into the sport to improve and he does this obsessively to the point of injuring himself. He doesn’t want to see himself as a victim and he certainly doesn’t want others to view him that way either. He’ll only open up to those he truly trusts and even then, it’s usually through passive aggressive insults, bitter remarks and barely hidden insecurity.

Vindictive:

Cancers are not vengeful in the way that scorpios are, but they can hold onto a grudge for years and become extremely resentful. This is esp the case if a cancers insecurity is “attacked”. (I use that term loosely btw). Oikawa hated kageyama from the beginning bc he “hated geniuses” and refused to teach or help him- this is oikawa’s inferiority shining through. He didn’t want to give kageyama, who is already gifted with raw talent any more advantage over him. Yeah, oikawa is extremely talented and skilled but he probably thinks that those with the natural gift for volleyball will always be a step ahead since they’ll learn new techniques and get better as they improve. Rationally speaking, oikawa and kageyama would learn a lot from each other, but oikawa is vindictive and won’t help someone he sees as an enemy. At least not without throwing some petty jabs. It also would have made more sense for him to go to shiratorizawa if he was concerned with being the best of the best, however it was personal for him. He has a longstanding rivalry with ushijima and it wouldn’t have made much sense for oikawa to join because it’s personal for him. He wouldn’t just throw away his personal beliefs and ignore his vendetta just because logically it would make more sense for him to do so. He’s very much a heart over head kind of guy so a lot of how he acts and responds are going to align with his own value system.

#this took way longer than i thought #i feel like i could talk abt him forever and just his personality like #theres so much to this pettyboy #haikyuu!!#oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #hq!! x zodiac #selfmade

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escxpiism · 3 years

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( olivia holt, 23, she/her ) * hey, i’m looking for the office of ALICE ADAMS. they’re the EMPLOYEE who’s known around the office as THE MASK if that helps ? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re ADAPTABLE but JADED, is that true ? i also heard that they’re the one who CATFISHED DAVID HASSELHOFF. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered.

hi y’all !! i’m may ( 21 // est // she/her ) and i am super super pumped to be here !! i’m also very much writing this against my better judgment ya girl’s running on four hours of sleep and has the option to sleep more but......... is not tired ?? so i do apologize if my mind is secretly tired and makes this intro,,,, even worse than it would be fahouedn. on with the show !! anyway anyway!! feel free to like this if u wld like 2 plot and i will hit u up!!

( also, for some vibes if you so choose to read, here’s the link to her playlist ! )

----------------------------------------------------

QUICK FACTS:

full name: alice audrey adams

date of birth: october 26th, 1997

*will not perfectly reflect the zodiac big three below because that’s.... math.

zodiac big three: scorpio sun, virgo moon, taurus rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual

education: ged, bachelor’s degree in film — pratt institute

enneagram: 4w3

mbti: enfp

temperament: sanguine-melancholic

label: the mask

various inspirations: “nutshell” - alice in chains, “santa monica” - everclear, “polly” - nirvana, “jennifer’s body” - hole, “creep” - stone temple pilots, kate wallis ( cruel summer - shhhh ), heather davis ( crazy ex-girlfriend ), satana hellstrom ( marvel comics ), bojack horseman - without the amount of problematic ego ( bojack horseman ), eddie huang ( fresh off the boat ), the great britney spears evolution ( temporarily stopping at circus era )

BACKSTORY:

triggers in order: toxic family dynamic, grooming (nothing super in-depth), kidnapping (? like it was ‘willing’ but no. see next trigger for why), toxic “relationship” (and 11yr age gap w/ a 16y/o we hate it), straight-up captivity, very brief mention of suicide + heroin (very!)

*would like to quickly preface that this isn’t just Dark for the sake of being r/im14andthisisdeep but that’s for a later time **(also! i have markers for where the grooming + Super Dark parts begin and end! -- also, the Super Dark part is all very public knowledge. had articles. media frenzy. first thing that comes up if you google her name) *** also. if u need it then a tl;dr is below this section hfkldsa

alice audrey adams was born to the type of family that names all of their children alliterative names ( however, they sadly didn’t get their own kardashian-style show )... alexis adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... alfie allison adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... born to anna adams and allen adams... we hate it here.

as u can see... all of the kids were basically named after allen... they all had ‘al’ names.... extremely confusing

plot-twist: THAT’S the darkest part

the adams were very concerned with public image. as a family in the upper echelon, they simply had to be! a narcissist father, a distant mother, put in competition with her siblings — there was no truly healthy dynamic in the household. but they looked good. they went to church every sunday, a ‘wwjd’ sticker on the back of her mother’s car. they did just enough activities and took just enough trips together to get the image across. they threw parties. they attended parties. they were the picture perfect american family — they even had two cats in the yard! life used to be so hard!

of course, in reality, this all left ms alice quite the lonely gal. but don’t worry! she didn’t turn to hedonism! lord no! instead, she turned to other people. a lot of friendships — couldn’t tell if they were real or #fortheclout — but at a point, did it matter?

grooming tw: it all came to a screeching halt when she met luke johnson, the son of their neighbors. he came back from california to georgia to visit family, care for his ailing father. oh, he was a good man! sure, he was ‘somewhat’ older than her — 27 when she was 16 — but he was such a good, handsome young man! and they were all still calling him young man, after all.

alice ‘began’ a torrid affair with luke after about a month into his visit. although she saw no immediate wrong in it, he insisted she keep it a secret ‘for the time being’ — which really just made it all the more exciting! he made all the storm clouds that hovered disappear.

one day, the levee broke for alice (still figuring out what exactly happened because i don’t wanna go too dark since this is already extremely dark, but trust that it had something to do with her parents and was just enough to push her over the edge). convinced luke was the only safe person, she turned to him. knowing their small community would catch on and essentially exile him, he took that opportunity to convince her to go back to santa monica with him where they could ‘start anew’ after his father’s death.

there are a few details i plan on adding regarding like. how legality playing into it. but i may just reserve those for an official bio lhakfsdfj

**BEGINNING OF SUPER DARK** for a while, there was the question of whether they should consider it a kidnapping or not. she went with him willingly, but she was still underage (and… you know, that age difference… the power dynamic... gross y’all). the adams insisted that it was (bc it basically was lbr) — primarily because it would make them look far better — but the community still questioned the logistics and legalities of it all… ugh. did the police really wanna deal with that? ugh.

in any case, on the other side of us america, autumn was nearing. alice would have the very occasional inquiry over how school would work (very occasional! don’t worry, luke!), over the logistics of her new life… and, after receiving multiple calls from various friends (in addition to her siblings) that sounded genuine, began wondering… if she’d made the right choice. questions about him.

when she began bringing up the idea of going back — at least for the school year!! — he would continuously remind her that she was not old enough to buy herself a plane ticket (and he was not about to do that). she also couldn’t rent a car yet (and he certainly wouldn’t let her take (one of) his car(s)!). but most importantly? he loved her. and she loved him. (what a creep!)

so, for a hot second, it seemed like she was stuck. damn legalities!! damn love!! you know, until she texted her older sister back with all of the problems that only being 16... and “in love”.... caused. her sister offered to fly down, buy her a plane ticket, and fly back with her.

when luke saw this (with all the unrestricted access to her phone he had so he could block, delete, and manipulate as he pleased), he confronted her. things went awry. she wound up in his budding wine cellar (which he soon emptied, of course… those merlots :( ….). he messaged back and, as her, said it was actually all good!! luke had figured out the logistics and she could call whenever she wanted!!

and those calls became frequent! because she would pick up when luke held it up to her! because she was pretty sure luke would kill her if she didn’t!

she wasn’t sure how long it was until she was officially Found. it took what was ruled a suicide by luke, a shot to the head and heroin in his system, to finally get any authority’s attention. all she knew was that she went to santa monica in mid june and she stopped seeing regular daylight by late july. so some time in august to some time in april… **END OF SUPER DARK + GROOMING**

she was returned to georgia shortly after and everything was different. from herself to her friends. but everything was also the same. from her room to her family. it was all… teasing. she began going to therapy, but she really sucked at it?? so she just let her therapist rely on various articles that covered the event. because it had been a media circus. good enough, amirite??

she didn’t have the will or patience to put on that peppy facade she’d had before, but there were still a few things she found a smidge of joy in. music (although her taste had… slightly altered and wow! it’d been almost a year since she’d picked up that bass!), videography… just those small things, you know??

for the first half of the ~ 2014 fall semester ~, she attempted actual school. really was not working out. with, for probably the first and only time, her parents’ approval and understanding, she dropped out and studied for a ged -- shorter and self-led -- instead.

she passed with a pretty decent grade... but it’s been argued that she really shouldn’t have gotten into pratt institute (she was at least realistic and didn’t apply to, like… cornell), but she did. national news helps.

while in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, she learned of masters. she submitted an application as a joke — because her grades sucked!!!!! — but guess who got a job?? oh, she could pretend it was because her selected portfolio was actually genuinely good… but, man… we all know…

fun fact: my uncle applied to harvard as a joke. some twenty-five years later, we still haven’t heard back :\

she… continues to suck. like… she kinda wants the place to eventually burn down?? figuratively speaking (or is it…) but ya, for all the monopolizing she has seen turn people Evil?? but the hell can she do about it… just gotta make sure she keeps her in-house videographer job… maybe she can do something about it when she like… is capable. fuaihoelwdjkn

she sees an in-house therapist and i’d say ‘good for her,’ but it was mandated l m a o

doesn’t talk about herself all that much!! but that might not matter for some people, yk?? ugh journalism <3

y’all im so bad at ending intros.

TL;DR:

(consult above trigger list): bright kid in a super rich and toxic family because obviously. everything they did was just to look good <3 also they all had ‘a’ names which is the biggest tragedy of all :( ‘fell in love’ when she was 16ys/o with a 27y/o who was visiting to care for his father in his final days. had a torrid affair. creep. creep (luke) basically made her ‘fall in love.’ she thought creep was the only safe person at one point and creep was like ‘wanna go back 2 santa monica w me?’ and she was like ‘yes.’ and everyone was like ‘was this kidnapping... we cant tell....’ then he became even more possessive when she started questioning him and some logistics. when she finally found a way she could go back to georgia for a spell, he was like ‘no u can go in my wine cellar btw i will be taking all of the wine out.’ he kept her there from august to april and... only reason he didnt keep keeping her was bc he was Caught so. back to georgia where the devil went down. everything was Worse. even the things that were the same. but hey, the sob story that landed her in the news plenty of times got her into a college she shouldn’t have gotten into and gave her a leg-up in a joke application for a job at masters (in-house videographer). really bad at doing her work but like... fuck the man i guess??

PERSONALITY + HEADCANONS:

has no time for Fake Nice (which, as a born southerner, she’s really good at sniffing out!). has no time for arrogance. kind of makes her at odds with the nyc upper class...

on that note, still got a lil bit of some georgia twang

she lets herself indulge in various vices, but has left a previous hedonist status. weed and alcohol are still pretty common, but everything else is kept at arm’s length.

also, while on that topic, she Does Not drink wine. being trapped in a cellar... kinda makes u averse. like. literally despises it. will go on autopilot and make it KNOWN if offered wine.

also ALSO while on that topic, after looking it up and seeing she fits the new york city requirements, she has a medical marijuana card <3 the one good thing, if u ask her, to come out of therapy/psychiatry <3 will not show it off unless absolutely NECESSARY bc then it gets personal or <3 will lie about why and say it’s like for epilepsy or sumn unless ur rolfe but <3 she has it <3

at odds with herself. enjoys the company of others, definitely has a history of being an extrovert, but has become very selective with the company she keeps.

VERY private person! has had enough public standing!

...has occasionally used her story to advance her tho bc it’s her national newsworthy tragic story and she can exploit it if she wants <3

when good charlotte said “i don’t wanna be in love”?? she felt that. her last ‘relationship’ ruined that for her <3 save her <3

used to be really into pop! bc pop is fun! she loved some britney (i mean... she still does... how can u not!)! but. her taste has changed drastically. rarely listens to pop. has traded britney for like.... hole and the like.

her parents didn’t use this as the basis for her name but,, 2 me,,, she’s named alice for a reason <3 gotta luv alice in chains <3

y’all i found a youtube comment on a video called ‘nirvana - half the man i used to be’ (the song was, in fact, ‘creep’ by stone temple pilots) and it’s <3 her music taste <3 click here for it <3

the above said, dresses like she’s in seattle in the early 90s.

her rumor is true btw she DID catfish david hasselhoff and she will proudly tell u. it’s her best accomplishment.

completely stopped talking to her parents and got cut-off a while back ago so now she’s livin like the Prols

which is how a rich kid one of my profs once advised referred to his classmates.... hilarity ensues.

the above in mind, her parents say she’s testing the waters as a ‘normal person’ to save face. they can’t have anyone knowing their family isn’t perfect <3

she has a pet turtle whom she named “dr. turtle,” although he’s constantly referred to as “doc” or “the doc.” he has his own youtube channel and tiktok account.

she has a wall full of evidence that courtney love did not kill kurt cobain... it makes sense, believe me.

became a vegetarian...... partially because it was different from her original life and a way to control something, partially because this commercial made her feel SO BAD.

literally her default mode is stoned like... a totally sober alice is rarer than a nessie sighting

when she was 18, before she could ‘hold her liquor’ as well as she can now, she got a lil too drunk and now has a portrait tattoo of courtney love on her forearm. but it was done well at least!!

kind of ironic considering her career, but RARELY posts on any social media site except twitter. after the media circus in 2014 and All Eyes On Her, she’s just..... so tired...... of ppl seeing her face and being like ‘omg ur that wine cellar bitch!’

(drugs tw) has become more and more Addicted to playing around with fate. j chill on a ledge, talkin to some pals, but deciding it’s a good idea to swing her legs on the wrong side of ledge? totally! mixing a lot of alcohol with opioids which she is not accustomed to? DEF!! (end tw)

more to come!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

i have two (2) queued up!! but while we wait for them to post, i’ll just… link them over here: 1, 2

muse u <3 the other half of her subplot from the main <3

her older sister!

her younger sibling!

some of the basics!! you know: close pal, roommate, drug buddies (but she gotta hit them up), fwb, ons, frenemies, enemy

ppl who recognize her from the 2014 luke johnson articles and have either brought it up or,,,,,,, act Awkward™

cld be fun 2 just have like. a jam bud. someone who plays any instrument and they j. jam sometimes.

ppl she sells. some of her medical marijuana to. bc yk what weed may be legal in nyc now but,,,, she’s still found a way to be broke she will accept anything. and also it just became legalized THIS YEAR so!!

i have a budding wc page @ https://escxpiism.tumblr.com/wcs (and when i say budding, i MEAN budding) so feel free 2 check it out!!

more to come!!

#masters.intro #alice | intro !#this took me like....... 2hrs 2 write so i do indeed think my mind is fooling me and actually lagging behind.

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gamergirl-niffler · 3 years

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In Sickness And In Health

Sooo!

One day I go super inspired by THIS WONDERFUL ART

So I forced m wonderful and only @arthurbristow to write that idea with me. He was wonderful Rafe!

This just sweet fluff of our Angry ball of Rage - Rafe Adler and Sam :3

Hope you all will enjoy it!

Gif belongs to THIS PERSON I had to add it this way bc tumblr IS A ASSHOLE! and every time I add gif from GIFs option he doens’t save them. LIke BOOOM it’s magically gone!

Maybe it was stupid. No, it was obviously stupid.

Rafe was a maniac, a psycho, he was ready to murder whoever was in his way to the treasure. Despite this, Sam felt bad for Adler. He was just blinded by the whole glory of the treasure, that's all. Sam knew the feeling.

After a few moments of silence, Sam knocked at the big, wooden once again, and still without a response. That was weird, he visited this place when he worked for Rafe. There was a nice, older lady that took care of the whole place and opened the door, always.

Sam sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Maybe he wasn't here? Maybe he went to some fancy and expensive clinic to recover? Drake wanted to turn on his hill and leave but he decided to try a doorknob. The door opened and this was a big surprise.

Sam walked inside to take a look.

The mansion was empty, there was no one inside. There was no alive nor dead soul around.

Did Rafe move out after this failed treasure hunting?

______________

He thought he had heard some strange sounds - he couldn't localizate them though. He wasn't even sure whether they were real nor his mind was tricking him.

He tried to roll on his side but realized his back was resting against the cold wall.

Finally, with all of his might, he sat on the floor and rolled his head back, resting it against the wall as well. "Help," he mumbled, not being sure if any soul has heard him.

_____________

Okay, there was a voice that meant that someone was here. The voice sounded quiet and really weak but it certainly was a male voice.

Sam went in the direction of the voice.

Good thing that the mansion was empty so it was easy to locate the poor soul that needed help.

He stopped in front of Rafe, he couldn’t believe his own eyes. Sam was shocked seeing Adler in such a state.

"Holy shit, Rafe. The hell happened to you?," He asked with a frown, approaching the other man carefully.

With barely opened eyes, Rafe tried to snort. "Are.... Ya... Kiddin'.... Me.... Drake?," he stammered weakly.

"You recognize me, that's a good thing. I hope," Sam helped Rafe get back on his feet. "C'mon, we will go to put you down and take a look at these wounds." Sam found Adler's bedroom easily, after all it was the biggest room in the whole house. After placing this wounded bundle of rage on bed, Sam looked around. "Okay. Now you stay here and I will go find an aid kit. I think I know where you have one."

Looking for the kit took a few minutes, but to Sam's surprise, he found few. Maybe it was Adler who was paranoid about his safety or the poor servants were simply ready for every occasion.

After returning to the bedroom Sam took a look at his former enemy. "Are you still with me?"

But Rafe was long unconscious. His breath was shallow, his chest was barely moving, his lips parted like he was about to gasp for air.

"Let's hope you won't die on me here. I am not keen on experiencing such a thing again. Hold on and I will take a look at you... even if after all of this I should just let you bleed to death," Sam said, sitting on the bed.

After removing Rafe's shirt Sam hissed at the simple view of his injuries. It was more than obvious that he did not take care of them even a little bit. Thankfully older Drake knew that to do, he had to patch himself up too many times.

The burning pain from hydrogen peroxide woke Rafe up a little; he let out a loud hiss and cursed a few times, fisting the sheets. "Leave me alooooneee...," he growled.

"If I leave you, you will die and you ain't dying today, I assure you. So shut up and let me work," Sam muttered, not stopping his attempt on cleaning the wounds to later try and stitch the bigger ones.

"It hurts you fucker, leave me alone!," Rafe tried to hit Sam's shoulder.

"It wouldn't hurt that much if you'd take care of them properly," Sam explained and looked at Rafe. A few days ago Adler was wielding the sword like a pro and now he didn't even have enough strength to really hit. Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed Rafe's hand, stopping him with ease. "You move again and I will tie you up to the headboard so I can do my thing," he warned.

"I'll start screaming, Drake," Adler warned, "And I have a loud voice though..."

He hated every second of Sam's presence in his mansions, in his room. Drake thought too much of himself. He wasn't a fucking nurse and he should simply call 911.

"Try it and I will gag you. I have experience in this," Sam hummed and looked at Rafe to wink at him. "Now, stay still or I swear I will knock you out to finish my job."

Rafe stopped shifting and laid there quietly, without whimpering and other sounds.

"Thank you. You see, it's not that hard," Sam chuckled and continued doing his thing. Maybe an hour later he was done. It for sure wasn't perfect but it was enough to help Rafe.

Sam looked at Rafe's chest wrapped in a bandage. "I will have to keep my eye on it. The change will be needed later, I will do this. You will have a chance to take a quick bath before putting on a fresh bandage.," Drake muttered, scratching his cheek.

"I'm not going to spend any more minutes with you. You bursted into my house like it was yours, ok, I'll forgive it," Rafe growled, he was fully awake by then. "You tried to help, nice. You did. Now you can leave. I can handle, happen to be the big boy."

"Big boy who didn't get the treasure, almost bled to death in his own mansion, probably lost everyone that worked for him and is kinda tied up to bed because I bet a hundred bucks that he won't be able to get up and at least walk to the door," Sam said and went to sit in the armchair near the bed. He pulled his cigarettes out and lighted one up, placing it between his lips. "Proof me I am wrong and I will go," Sam dared.

Rafe didn't respond to Sam's words; he got up and immediately pressed hand to his abdomen, hissing loudly, gasping as well.

Trying to pretend he's fine, he tried to walk to the door but after a few steps he simply sank to his knees and sat on the floor. "Don't you dare to smoke inside," he threw the older man a cold glance.

"Or what? You will crawl up here and bite me in the ankle?" Sam chuckled, looking at Rafe who was sitting on the floor. "Comfortable? I thought you could walk," Samuel hummed, mocking Rafe a little.

"Shut up and if you want to smoke, get outside on the balcony."

Sam smiled and got up from his seat to carefully pull Rafe up back to his feet then placed him back on the bed. "Try to not mess up your stitches when I am gone," Sam winked and went on the balcony to finish his cigarette.

Rafe put his head on the pillow and screamed in it, then gasped and rolled to his back, lying motionless on his king-sized bed.

After throwing away the end of the cigarette, Sam returned inside and looked at Rafe. "How do you feel?," He asked, flopping on the armchair.

"Be extremely careful when you sit on my favourite armchair," Rafe growled through clenched teeth. "Oh, so you want to talk about emotions!," Adler snorted and shook his head, hissing. "Let's talk then! Samuel Drake, the brother of sweet, charming, legendary Nathan Drake visits me and nurses me like a fucking baby! He orders me in my fucking mansion! I'm feeling fucking great!"

Sam blinked surprised, watching Rafe barked out all the words. He looked like a tied up animal that tried to be loud for the sake of being loud. It was annoying but it also was obvious that Rafe was kinda mad. "Well, I asked how do you feel after me taking care of your neglected wounds but I will take 'feeling fucking great' and I don't order you. You can do whatever you want," Sam shrugged.

"You came to watch me suffer, it's a victory, isn't it? Now you're free to go," Rafe grunted and rolled to his side.

"No. I came to check if you are fine, seeing that you are not I decided to help you," Sam answered, reaching for the book that was laying next to him. "If I would like to see you suffer, I would watch you bleed out to death and wouldn't bother to move nor touch you."

"Why are you touching my book?"

"Because I wanted to have a look," Sam flipped through the book and stopped at a random page to read it.

"You're still having my book in your hand. Have you at least washed them? No, of course, why would you care about washing hands. The bacterias will be distributed around here now," Rafe gasped. "Bring me water."

Sam rolled his eyes and went to get Rafe the water he requested.

By the time Sam came back, Rafe was already sleeping.

Sam smiled and shook his head, he pulled the blanket over the other man and then returned to the armchair. After placing the glass on the counter, Sam took the book again and started to read it. He was mentally ready for a long night, wanting to make sure that bundle of rage will make it through the night.

_____________

He didn't know how much time passed. He woke up covered in cold sweat; the fresh shirt he wore was soaked at the collar and on the back. He shivered. "Samuel?," He felt an urge to scream yet he cooled himself down. "Samuel? Are you here still? Samuel, I fucking need you."

"I am coming!," Sam yelled walking into the room. Before Rafe even woke up, Sam could see his state; he was tossing and turning in bed as much as his body let him, it was obvious that he got a fever. High one for sure, so Drake decided to go and find a thermometer and it wasn't easy in this big house. "So now you need me, huh?," He teased, handing Rafe the little device. "I bet you know how to use it, right?"

Rafe slipped the thermometer under his tongue and nodded head. "Mhm," he mumbled.

"Good boy. I am proud," Sam joked, petting Rafe on the head.

Rafe grinned only and almost bit through the thermometer.

Sam sat down on the bed and waited just like Rafe did.

Rafe was trying to run his glance off Sam but he couldn't. "Seriously? Yourgh.... Glaaaaayin...," He mumbled.

Sam rolled his eyes and covered his eyes with his hand. "Is that better?"

Rafe almost choked with laughter. "Way baaaattaaa."

"Great! I am glad to hear it, just give me the thing when you are done. After we know how high the fever is I will think what to do," Sam explained, waving his other hand around while the other stayed on his eyes.

Rafe laid quietly for the rest of the necessary time. Once the thermometer started beeping, a younger man poked Drake's ribs.

Sam jumped, surprised by this action. "Hey! Don't do that," He said and then took the thermometer from Refe. "Holly shit. Okay. That's high," Sam muttered. "You have 39° of fever."

"So what now, Mr Nurse?," Rafe asked.

"I am going to put a wet, cold towel on your forehead and I will go dig through your cabinets to find some meds. If I won't find any, I will have to go buy some," He shrugged.

"Don't leave.... I mean, they're in the cabinet, in the bathroom downstairs. Brown, little bottle with pills," Rafe quickly instructed.

Sam nodded. "Okay. I will prepare the towel there." He went to the bathroom downstairs. There he found a clean towel and put it into cold water. After that he looked for the bottle with pills. When Sam was fully ready, he returned upstairs. "Here, this should make you feel better," Drake said softly, placing a folded towel on the other man's forehead. Shortly after that, he prepared meds and water.

Rafe took the pills like a good boy would, he swallowed them with water and placed head back on the pillow. "Thank you," he whispered simply and closed his eyes, enjoying the coldness of the towel on his forehead.

Sam smiled softly and sat next to Rafe on the bed. "I will sit here to keep an eye on you. Sorry for looking at you but I need to make sure it won't get worse."

"Yeah, yeah, I understand," Rafe mumbled and closed his eyes. "Good night, Samuel. Sweet dreams about your baby brother you had lied to."

Sam chuckled and shook his head. "Good night and sweet dreams about treasure you had lost."

Rafe slept calmly till the morning

Sam stayed up as long as he could keep his eyes open.

---------------------------------

First sun rays hot his face gently so he slowly opened his eyes, yawning like a little kitten. Rafe frowned a little as he felt something like a rumbling next to his ear. He opened eyes wider and paled: he was hugged to Samuel Drake's side, Rafe's arm wrapped around another man's chest. Adler looked down and recognized the sound - probably Drake was hungry.

Sam hummed and mumbled in his sleep. He was watching over Rafe for many hours, until he was too tired to sit. Wrapping arms around Rafe, Sam nuzzled to his neck. He didn't really care if this was a dream or if he really hugged someone. Just the warmth was so nice.

Rafe's eyes got wider. He tried to sneak out of the older man's grasp yet he was too weak to perform this. "Samuel. Samuel, halo? It's not funny," Rafe tried to struggle but soon he gave up and put his head to Samuel's chest. "What's happened to my life?," He whispered to himself.

Sam only pulled Rafe even closer, hugging tightly but not tight enough to hurt him more.

Rafe relaxed his muscles and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth that radiated from the other body next to him.

"I would never say you like to cuddle," Sam said quietly with his hoarse voice. His hand gently rubbed circles on Rafe's back.

Younger man didn't respond as he fell asleep again in the arms of Sam.

"Yes. You are a cuddler," Sam hummed and kissed Rafe's forehead, checking if he still had a fever by this action.

Rafe tightened his hug around Sam's waist and mumbled something; his bangs went messy.

_____________

It was at least half a month since Sam kinda broke into Rafe's house.

Half a month since Sam found Rafe bleeding and forced him into recovery under his wings.

"I think that's it. Everything healed nicely, without any complications. Bruises are gone and you build up strength," Sam said with a little shrug, he was honestly really happy with Rafe's recovery. "Guess it's time for me to go."

Rafe who came to the kitchen was putting his favourite black t-shirt on, presenting his well built abs with some scars to Sam. "I told you that you can stay, Drake. The house is huge enough for us two."

Sam smiled, looking at Rafe. "Oh I know that but I remember how much you wanted me to go and leave you alone. You tried to hit me. So, I don't want to stay longer than you can tolerate me."

"I don't mind you here, I thought I made myself clear on this matter before," Rafe said and sat at the table.

"By hitting me or biting me this one time. I still have your fucking teeth mark on my shoulder," Sam muttered.

"Sorry not sorry, dear, sometimes emotions are over your control," Rafe replied smoothly. "So what? Will you stay?"

Sam chuckled. "Emotions. You are just a fucking animal, that's all," Drake pretended to roll his eyes but smiled soom. "And what will I get for staying here?"

Rafe furrowed his brows and stretched his back lightly. He got up, walked to Sam and briefly kissed his cheek. "Is that a good fee? Are you happy now? If yes, take my card and go to the shop, we're running out of Pringles and beer.

Sam laughed and got up to grab Rafe and kiss him deeply, slipping his tongue into Adler's mouth. "Be back in half an hour. Send me the full shopping list via Text," Sam hummed after pulling away.

Rafe ran hand through his bangs that fell into his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, cool down a little with showing your affection, I know you more than like me, Samuel."

After one more quick kiss, Sam grabbed Rafe’s wallet and went to shop.

When Drake left the mansion, Rafe took a seat at the table again and smiled to himself. It was the very first time in a while when he felt purely happy.

#Rafe Adler #Sam Drake #safe #Rafe Adler X Sam Drake #Samuel Drake #Sam Drake x Rafe Adler #Rafe Adler fic #Rafe Adler fiction #Sam drake fic #Sam Drake fiction #uncharted 4 #uncharted 4 fic

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soudam-appreciation · 4 years

Text

Study... date?

Gundam sighed, shrugging his overweight backpack over his shoulder. He had not planned for today to become a social one, though he supposed it was not quite unwelcome. The mortal known as Kazuichi, Tamer of Automatons, had requested his presence here, though for precisely what ritual, Gundam did not know.

Kazuichi leaned back in his chair and rested his legs atop of the table as he inhaled the overwhelming (and honestly, kinda gross) scent of old and new books as he waited for Gundam to hurry the fuck up and get to the library, because he really didn’t have all day.

He perked up, though, when he saw a small flash of purple and black move by one of the bookshelves he sat next to. Souda stood, waving his hands frantically in an attempt to catch the goth boy’s attention, not wanting to call out and cause more of a scene than the literal highlighter waving his hands sporadically like he was at a concert.

The neon blur tugged at Gundam’s peripheral, and he crossed his arms before him. Facing the boy, he began a usual greeting. “At last, you have been found. Do you not fear this meeting, Fool?” His voice boomed and echoed through the stacks, inciting an annoyed rustle and collective whisper.

Kazuichi’s eyes went wide as he started rapidly shushing him, because if him basically jumping up and down trying to get Gundam to notice him didn’t draw attention to the two, Gundam basically shouting definitely did. Speaking as softly as he could considering how badly his heart rate spiked, he tried to get him to quiet down.

“D-dude! Shut- shut the- Don’t! Stop fuckin’....fuckin’ screaming like that! Jesus! Shudda’...shut the- shut the fuck up! Shhh!”

Recollection of the location at hand hit Gundam with a hell-strength impact. Clearing his throat, he hurriedly glanced around, mumbling fractured apologies for his forgetfulness. If there was one thing that would make even the Dark Overlord himself bow, it would be intense embarrassment as a direct result of his own foolishness- not that he would even say such a thing. To allow enemies access to his weakness?! Preposterous. He whispered a short apology to Souda as well, for the mortal seemed far more distraught than he.

Souda groaned softly, rubbing his face with his hands for a few moments before bouncing back almost as fast, a lazy grin plastered across his face. That didn’t stop the drop of malice and embarrassment showing through in his cheerful voice as he pushed out a chair next to the one he was leaning on before to invite Gundam to sit with him.

There were a lot of books, papers, pens and one lone computer scattered across the table. Souda easily pushed these aside as he sat down to take a sip of his…something.

Gundam followed suit, dropping his bag on the floor beside him as he took his seat. He was not entirely sure what they were to do on this day, although crawling deep underground was an option he prayed upon. Unzipping his backpack as soundlessly as he could, he retrieved a notepad and slid a simple message to his companion.

What, pray tell, have you summoned me for?

Kazuichi read it over before snatching the notepad from Gundam’s hand, as well as the fancy pen he had (despite there being many writing utensils of his own he could’ve used, he honestly just wanted to be a bit of a dick to his past rival). He scrawled something quickly on it and slid it back nervously, despite there being no teachers nor rules against slipping each other notes.

ok, well, i asked u 2 come here bc i am fucking failing math and biology and there r these 2 tests cming up i need u 2 help me study for. i thought u’d know a lot abt biology and u seem smart ig so-

He ripped another blank note out to write on more.

-so i thought u could help with, math too. hinata won’t help me he’s mad i spilt monster on his laptop still even though that was a whole day ago :(

The writing was barely legible and Kazuichi seemed to shorten words as best as he could, since he also wrote very large on the small sheet of paper. He slid the second note to Tanaka for him to read.

Squinting, Gundam managed to make out Souda’s print. He sighed, briefly wondering how incompetent Souda actually was, and where to even begin studying. Retrieving his pen, albeit a bit forcefully, he turned to a new page and began his transmission.

Where should we begin? Is there a specific field in which you have little expertise?

As Souda read over the note in the pretty cursive handwriting, he let out a small giggle. He couldn’t help it, reading Gundam’s dumbass Overlord-victorian speak was somehow funnier than hearing it out loud. Snatching the pen and paper back, he started writing.

uh um well i never ever got algebra the little letters always confused me and in biology kind of everything. man i’m not good with that kinda shit like u i’ve seen ur grades you don’t know how 2 whisper when ur flaunting them to sonia lol

Gundham’s ears got hot, and he fidgeted with the end of his scarf. Grabbing his pen, he scribbled out, I do no such thing. I simply share because I am asked, that should be a simple concept to grasp. His scrawl was messier, his haste blurring his senses. Deep breaths stilled his hostility, and he turned to a new page.

So shall we begin with variables, then? You may need to work exceptionally hard to recall these, as no doubt it will be of importance.

Once again, Kazuichi laughed as he watched Gundam get a little pissed at the Sonia comment. Even when they were slowly getting closer, messing with the guy still yielded hilarious results.

come on man!!!! why r u getting so pissy i’m just teasing u. u know i know that u know we aren’t rivals anymore so calm down!!!!! >:3

anyways uhh ya sure we can start w, variables ig. i don’t remember a lot of this stupid ass math lingo so ur gonna need to remind me some of it.

Variables are those “little letters” you spoke of. If something I mention confuses you, alert me at once.

Gundam chose to ignore all of Souda’s previous statement, focusing instead on the task at hand. There did not seem a logical reason to become so frustrated when Souda spoke of her. So why did it ignite a hellfire in his chest?

He shook off the thought, selecting a standard textbook from his oversized backpack and placing it on the table with a thunk. Opening to a page about Variables, the most annoying of unknowns, he slid the book across for Souda’s viewing ease.

We should begin here, page 28. Do you have a journal for notes?

yeah that’s fine also do u mind me keeping our notes or atleast yours please plz plsssss

Sure enough, the smaller boy was already making a pile of the discarded notes they had forgotten about. Mostly Gundams. It was the only neat thing on the table thus far.

Sighing again, Gundam ceded. He had no use for them, anyway. It caught his attention as slightly strange, but he chose to pay it no mind. Scratching out what information he could on such a small surface, he quickly realized that simply would not work. He slid a mostly-empty notebook from his bag and selected a blank page to share with Souda. It wasn’t as if he really needed the pages in this notebook either, so he added a small note at the top offering the torn-out pages for outside studying.

Souda took the page and studied it, before brightly grinning up at Gundam and quickly nodding. This was fancy shit, definitely not something extremely expensive (he knew Gundam definitely wouldn’t dare share that kind of paper, seeing the small slightly-faded stains of car oil on his hands that he just couldn’t scrub out) but Souda probably wouldn’t be buying these things, especially for every class, without at least a week of ramen dinners to make up for the waste of money working at his Dads mechanic shop.

Souda suddenly realized that ‘fancy shit’ to a slightly broke kid like him was definitely not ‘fancy shit’ to Gundam “I don’t know how to dress casually Ever” Tanaka.

Gundam continued to script line after line, attempting to explain these subjects in terms Souda would understand. The look in Souda’s eyes gnawed at him, such excitement on display over some math notes. He wasn’t certain what rubbed him wrong about it, so he brushed it aside. Reaching the bottom of the page, he printed a small question.

Do you still understand thus far?

Souda finally grabbed one of his own pens that lay discarded on the table instead of stealing Gundams.

yeah i get it u explain it a lot better than the teachers or chiaki despite ur little demon talk r whatever lol. chiaki use to help me like all the time but she kept falling asleep on me we never got anything done

Reading Souda’s message tempted laughter, and Gundam bit his cheek to silence it. Nodding sagely, he scrawled, As likely as you are to bend truths pertaining to women, this account does seem trustworthy. He knew just as well as anyone how exhausted Chiaki constantly seemed.

Tugging the newly completed page from its binds, Gundam offered it to Souda as well.

Souda looked almost offended by the note (he still took it, because of course he did) and hastily scribbled another and shoved it in Gundams chest with a grin.

WOW DICK i’m not gonna go after every girl that falls asleep on me!!! sonia hasn’t fallen asleep on me yet and you know!!!!! >:((((((

Gundam stiffened, bandaged hand safely out of sight under the table. If it had been visible, Souda would have a clear view of numb fingers folding against his palm before stretching into claws, over and over. Another deep breath was necessitated by his pounding heart, and he stilled his mind. There was no reason for this feeling. What possible purpose could this rush of adrenaline serve? Certainly nothing pertaining to math. He cleared his throat again, which ended up sounding a bit more like a growl, and took up his pen.

You say “yet”, as if there is even the slightest chance of such an occurrence in the future. This, I do know. A smug smirk crossed his face, daring to settle on his lips.

Souda pouted as he read the note, a somehow adorable sight as he quickly snagged Gundams pen again (once again ignoring his own) and scrawled something on a new note and shoved it back to him.

nuh-uh! u don’t know shit. unless u can see the future!!! tell me tell me tell me. maybe ur freaky demon shit is real after all ANYWAYS do i end up w miss sonia plz please tell me??!?? :3

Gundam tasted blood as he bit his lip hard. Why was Souda so insistent on her? No, he knew why. She was aesthetically pleasing to someone like him. This was not new information, but it still irked Gundam like hell. He pursed his lips. The last thing he was going to do was tell Souda his pathetic simpering dreams would come true in the end. Or perhaps, the last thing he wanted would be to admit to Souda that he cannot truly see the future? Grumbling, he snatched his pen back and tapped it against his knuckles. Neither option was preferred, though one was a clear admission of weakness…

He settled on a third choice. Of course not. I know precisely who you shall fall for in the end, although I cannot tell you. That is the Law of Causality.

actually it’s the law of cASSuaslity because ur an asshole who the fuck cares why can’t u just tell me!!! if i don’t get with miss sonia or whatever u say i don’t even know if i completely believe ur bonkers shit why can’t u just tell me their name or anything i just!!! want a hint. please

Kazuichi’s handwriting grew sloppier as he grew more desperate. Why the fuck was Gundam hiding it? It’s not like he’s gonna get suspended for some random ‘law’ or whatever he probably made up. He didn’t even know what the word Causality meant but it sounded exactly like a freaky word Gundam would say.

All I may tell you is that… Gundam paused, wiggling his pen between thumb and forefinger to come up with an excuse. …you have likely already made their acquaintance. All trace of smugness had dropped from his features, now replaced with stale indifference. He locked his worry deep in his chest, buried it. The last thing he needed was Souda to call him out on such a ridiculously big lie.

Souda didn’t know why, but he grinned at that. He grinned at a lot of dumb shit, and Gundam telling him some vague dumbass answer like that was apparently dumb enough to get on his list of Dumb Shit That Made Him Grin. He flicked Gundams note into his ever growing pile and chugged the rest of his drink, his eyes blown wide with the sudden rush of, apparently, sugar. He tapped the textbook again, trying to remind them both to stay on task. His hands were starting to shake too much from the sugar high to make writing any good.

Gundam nodded. They needed to focus on the task at hand.. Which was math. Boring math. Another sigh settled in his chest, and he thought fleetingly on how he would much rather talk about silly magic business. Shaking dramatically dual-toned hair from his eyes, he set to scribbling some more numbers. Stupid, boring numbers.

Kazuichi watched with interest as Gundam quickly drew out complex strings of numbers and occasional letters. However, his mind quickly drifted as well as his eyes. Higher and higher until he was watching Gundam’s facial expressions shift as he tried to help Souda. How he bit his lip as he hesitated before continuing to keep writing, how his eyes narrowed, Souda half-mindedly thought of how pretty Tanaka’s eyes were, he could get lost in them if he really wanted to, and he did. So he simply tuned out the sound of pen against pencil, rustling of paper and the occasional whisper between others in the library and just stared into his eyes.

Sliding another page across the table, Gundam glanced up at Souda’s face, before they quickly flicked away. On the quickly growing list of things he did Not Want to happen today, was for Souda to catch him staring. Or- he paused. To catch… Souda staring? He didn’t want to look again, even if he was right, but the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as if he could feel Souda’s gaze. Ears growing red, he scripted a small note back, faltering slightly as nerves made his fingers stiff.

Do you still understand well enough?

Kazuichi’s gaze didn’t move until he finally noticed Gundam actually wrote words down. He did a double take back at his face before he picked up his pen, his cheeks heating up. Shit, did Gundam catch him looking? His hands trembled slightly from the sugar and caffeine as he scribbled on the paper.

yeah i understand completely ur a good teacher i already said that didn’t i sorry

He slid the note over, now doing his best to keep his eyes on the table and not on Gundam.

Do not fret, I am pleased you understand.

Clearing his throat as quietly as he could, he returned to numbers. Gundam really tried to focus, he did. But he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering… Muscle memory served him well, and he continued to write, but his mind’s eye strayed from questioning Souda’s gaze, to wondering why keeping their notes tidy was so important, to the way Souda tapped his fingers on the desk ever so slightly, the sugar and caffeine running rampant through his veins. It soon became impossible to focus, and he started mixing up numbers and crossing them out. He shook his head, hard, mumbling apologies for scrambling up his figures.

Kazuichi easily picked up Gundams distraction and yanked an empty note from him to write on.

do u wanna stop for today

He slid it over, giving Gundam a small smile as he did. He wasn’t unfamiliar with his brain getting jumbled and melting into mush and before he knew it, the day was over and he hadn’t got shit done. So he didn’t mind giving up for today, starting again tomorrow or next week. He just liked being with Gundam, kinda. As weird as that was.

Gundam nodded.

My sincerest apologies, I seem to have lost my senses…

What the hell had gotten into him? This was highly unusual for him. Gundam mumbled another quiet sorry, sliding the incomplete and jumbled page across to Kazuichi just in case he needed it anyway.

Souda tidied everything up on the desk, sliding his books, computer and the notes into his black backpack. As he stood, he bounced on his heels, the caffeine suddenly taking full effect as he finally got out of the chair and could move around to his heart's desire. He slid his backpack over one of his shoulders and didn’t hesitate to start playing with one of the enamel pins of a vocaloid character that hung from the zipper, needing something to occupy his hands with.

Gundam stood as well, fumbling as he slipped the last notebook into his bag. Offering a hand, he gestured towards the door. He whispered, “Shall we meet again tomorrow, then? I swear I shall do better at my job.”

Kazuichi laughed softly at that, nodding. His hands fiddled with his jumpsuit pockets as he made his way over to Tanaka, a small bounce in his step. He would definitely blame that and what he did next on the overload of caffeine in his system the next day. He put his hands on Gundams shoulders, slightly dragging him down as he stood on his tippy-toes, kissing him sweetly on the lips before he was already skipping towards the door, waving him bye as he exited, most likely to his dorm on campus.

Blood froze in his veins. Gundam’s heart pounded, throbbing in his ears. His face was beyond red, and his stiffened fingers twitched in surprise. Mouth opening and closing like a fish, he could not even will his feet to carry him after the boy. What… What just… happened? His mind felt as slow and sluggish as if it was buffering through a torrented movie file.

Finally gathering enough control of his own limbs, he pulled himself through the door. He wanted desperately to give chase, to pull Souda into his arms and kiss him back, but he knew there was no possible way he would keep his courage. So he settled, simply deciding upon returning to his own abode. He would have to speak to Souda at their meeting tomorrow. Just thinking about it gave him… butterflies? Oh dear, what an unpleasant sensation.

. . .

Thank you @kazudam for writing with me! This was so much fun, and something I’ve always wanted to do :’)

#gundham tanaka #kazuichi souda #kazuichi x gundham #gundham x kazuichi #soudam #daily soudam #kazudam as souda #intentional-moss as gundham #mod 🌱

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nny11writes · 3 years

Note

You’re recent fic killed me!- could we have rex comforting ahsoka after a mission goes wrong? Maybe obi-wan and anakin are injured bc of a miscommunication by her

Alright, have some additional Declarations!

This should still make sense without having read the full fic, but it certainly provides more background to this moment. And, also, Anakin is referring to that chapter I’ve been wishy washy about posting where the two of them FINALLY talk a bit and start figuring out how to communicate better. He is a good man doing his damn best, but Anakin is all about extremes.

“Alright kid, time to stop sulking.” Rex sighed heavily as he leaned against the bulkhead. It wasn’t like he knew where Ahsoka was hiding specifically but he’d narrowed it down to this room in particular. Stars, he hoped she wasn’t in the vents, they’d have to find the lankiest of them and force the poor sod up in after her.

His comm blinked on silently and looking down he could see Ahsoka sent him a message.

Not.

His whole body felt too heavy for a moment before he spoke aloud for her benefit. “No. No, I know you aren’t.”

He didn’t get another message and she didn’t climb down though.

Rex had to remember to thank Cody some time for the heads up on togruta. Obi-Wan had apparently gone half insane researching before that all blew up in his face, but the knowledge that she would be very quiet and make herself very small and might even hide away was the only thing that had stopped him from panicking when she was still missing. They were technically on shore leave and could do whatever they wished, sure, and Anakin had apparently told her to just take some time to stabilize.

“She’ll come back when she’s ready, and she’ll be ready sooner than you think.” Anakin had said with the strangest cross between a determined frown and a watery smile.

“Huh, who are you and what did you do with my General?” Rex had chuckled half confused before Anakin laughed.

“Yeah, well, we talked a bit after the whole…” Anakin waved his hands vaguely, but somehow Rex was sure he meant Grievous and Goldie. “Boundaries.”

Unsure what else he could do, Rex cracked another terrible joke. “Well, look at you. Rather big of you sir, I think you might be maturing.”

Anakin stuck his tongue out at him and really that said all he needed to about that.

But that conversation had been nearly three rotations ago, and Rex had a sinking feeling that Skywalker was doing his best without knowing what Ahsoka actually needed. Not that he thought he really knew either, honestly no one could know except for Ahsoka what she really needed. The first set of casualties under orders were always the hardest.

He stared at his comm until the backlight powered down before trying again, “Come on then little un, you know no one’s upset with you, so why are you hiding? Give me a good reason and I swear I’ll leave you and the K rations I snuck here alone.”

It took another long minute before his comm lit up again.

Fine.

He winced but did his best to put his new mental shielding in place. He didn’t want her assuming his upset was with her after all. There was some soft rustling that bounced around the storage bay and then Ahsoka dropped from the ceiling scaring him half to death. At any other time she would’ve been laughing at him, and the fact that she instead just walked over to him with her head down before curling up on the floor was…

Rex slowly slid down next to her and held out the ration and hydration cylinder for her. It took a small prompting with his free hand before she took them and mostly picked at them. He rather she have the fuel and option to consume it than not.

“Would it be better if I wrote with you?” Rex asked, lifting his wrist with the comm.

There was a pause before she shook her head, and finally, blessedly, finally took a bite of food. Far as he knew the first food she’d had in over a full rotation.

“Alright.” He slowly, carefully put his arm around her shoulders, waiting for anything to cue him into stopping. “Is it okay if I stay here with you for a bit?”

A shrug, but at least she pulled out her comm again.

Okay.

“Then I think I’ll take a sit for a bit, yeah?” He squeezed her as gently as possible, and almost pulled away when she shuddered only for her hand to desperately catch his wrist and pull him against her more firmly. Message received Commander. “You know, General Kenobi called today and was asking after you. You want the updates sir?”

She started shaking in lieu of writing so he squeezed her tightly again. There were a few painful sounding gasps before she weakly asked, “Is he okay?”

Her raspy, absolutely wrecked voice was the best thing he’d ever heard.

“Kenobi reported that he was fighting fit, and Cody reported that he was released with light exercise restrictions for a week before actually being ready to slash some clankers.” He paused as she gave a small half huff, half sniffle. He’d take it. “But yeah, he’s perfectly fine.”

Ahsoka nodded before taking another, smaller bite of the ration bar. He could feel her lek twitch under his arm and quickly scanned her to make sure she wasn’t about to vomit all over herself. Probably the only thing that could make her feel even worse at the moment. But instead she simply put the ration away in a belt pouch and typed into her comm.

Men?

“Will be right in no time. Sinker is out of bacta as well and already back on the front.” He’d hoped she’d perk up at that, but instead she almost melted down. “Hey, that’s a good thing!”

There was another series of pitiful sounding gasps, but this time she didn’t speak instead she leaned further into him and reached for his wrist again.

“You don’t have to speak if you’re not up for it.” Rex whispered, knowing she’d hear him just fine and more concerned that she was going to force herself into something that would make her feel worse.

He’d had a batchmate like that, CT-8532, didn’t make it far enough to get his own name, but Three Two had always been more sensitive than them. A lot of the time it had benefited them as a squad, after all, Three Two could hear electricity so he could often tell if there was a pack of droids around the corner or not. But sometimes when he got too angry he’d go from screaming and crying to dead silent. And each time the trainers forced him to speak, it only made it worse.

He’d made it off Kamino only to die with the rest of his squad on Geonosis.

What he’d give to listen to Three Two humming absentmindedly again…

“I know it’s already been said, but it wasn’t your fault. Orders were unclear and you did your best.”

Ahsoka went still and air hissed from between her teeth, and it broke his damn heart to hear.

“They were. They completely skipped vital info that-”

Ahsoka shook her head violently before ripping her hand away to type on her comm.

Obvious.

Should’ve known.

Rex held in another sigh and made sure his shields were hiding his frustration before speaking. “No, it was incomplete orders sir. They sent you incomplete orders and incomplete information. Just because you can see the connections now, doesn’t mean it was obvious.”

Ahsoka curled up, hands going to cover her montrals as she went quiet again.

He took the hint and shut his mouth, and instead sat with her quietly until he realized she’d fallen asleep at some point. Probably hadn’t been sleeping much, he’d wager money on it if he was allowed to have any. As carefully as he could, he scooped up his Commander and carried her quickly to her quarters. Doing his best to avoid and dodge anyone else to save her a little face. But once he’d gotten her into bed and gotten her a glass of water, he still sat down on the floor by her bunk.

She only woke a few times, but each time he reached up and squeezed her hand tightly, and each time she went back to sleep.

And that was a start. That was a good start.

#obvious #egotistical #not a team player #Captain Rex #CT-7567 #Rex #Ahsoka Tano #Star Wars #Star Wars the Clone Wars #Declarations AU #cw: shutdown #Ahsoka is not having a good day #based very heavily on me for every single time I've had a supervisor angrily tell me #if you had questions you should have asked!#well that's nice but I didn't have questions I was very fucking confident I understood #and YOU are the one who literally didn't tell me about whole ass steps you wanted me to do #but apparently it was and I was being and #did not help when that shifted under my abusive boss who literally would gaslight me about it #hate that I had to have coworkers verify everything she told me about my performance but fucking oh well now I guess #anyhow #figured I'd keep in the habit of making Declarations a dumping fic for my self projection #At least she has a bunch of good people looking out for her!#Rex & Ahsoka are the ultimate brotp and I am not taking criticism at this time #Anonymous

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tanoraqui · 4 years

Text

AU: Hányǐng-jūn

(”Shadowbearing Lord”, translation by @lyratalus)

(see, this is my problem. I decide, “yes, damnit, I AM going to write this longfic!” and then 0.0003 seconds later I’m absolutely swarmed by other plot bunnies.)

anyway, Yiling Patriarch!Lan Wangji but, like...better

Lan Wangji gets out of seclusion and 3 days later takes a mostly sleeping Lan Yuan, a couple days' worth of provisions, and leaves for Yiling. Lan Xichen somehow catches him just outside of Cloud Recesses and LWJ freely admits that he's going to Yiling - the city, not the Burial Mounds themselves - and he's going to raise A-Yuan there and cleanse the Burial Mounds like Wei Wuxian was starting to do with the life he brought back to them

Lan Xichen lets him go, doesn't even bother to play the "shouldn't A-Yuan grow up somewhere healthier and wealthier" card, bc a) cheap shot, b) he knows Wangji has already thought of it (he's right), and c) this is doing NOTHING to convince him that his brother won't commit some sort of passive suicide if he doesn't get to keep that child. God damn, he thought they were over this phase of mourning but Apparently Not

so Lan Wangji gets a house in Yiling, has to deal with 50 tons of gossip - of a new variety; he's used to political gossip and "isn't he hot" gossip but wow he was not prepared for small town "ooh new hot single dad" gossip with a side order of random advice from elderly women about how to care for a six-year-old

(he is, in fact, very grateful for the advice)

(there is no way in hell that Lan Wangji knows how to be the sole provider for a six-year-old)

in the internal war between "do not let A-Yuan out of my sight" and "do not take the vulnerable child to the death mountain", I think the former wins, considering the small child already lived on the death mountain for about a year, and seemed fine except for malnutrition. Which was...well, yes it was a problem with the death mountain, but not directly. Lan Wangji has money and they live in town and commute to the Burial Mounds each day for LWJ to play Cleansing while A-Yuan runs around catching imaginary butterflies or practicing reading; it's fine

...though possibly the nosy grannies convince him to get a babysitter

and maybe to take a break?

oh no i would want so many OCs of just Lan Wangji's neighbors in this

anyway, it doesn't take long for it to become clear that even playing Cleansing all day every day is like being a bird scraping its beak once a millennia on a mountain. Sure it works, technically, but...not really. Frankly, the resentful energy grows back if he stops for a single day. And even Hanguang-jun only has so much power and endurance

he's going to have to handle the resentful energy himself. If he wants to do this, wants to leave some sort of positive legacy for Wei Wuxian, he's going to have to demonically cultivate himself. Siphon the stuff off, and do...something with it. It won't just vanish. Subdue corpses and monsters, probably? Go back to night-hunting?

I dunno how or how fast word gets out, but I guarantee you Jiang Cheng is the first person of note to hear about it and come furiously flying. The fight that follows is raw and possibly literally bloody, and 99.99% about Wei Wuxian (of course.) I think the only reason it stops is that even though they took it outside, A-Yuan wakes up (as does most of the neighborhood) and pokes his head out the window to ask what's going on, and Jiang Cheng puts two and two together with the kid he saw when he visited to disown Wei Wuxian and-

He can't quite bear to destroy something even halfway adjacent to family He wants Wei Wuxian to have a slightly good legacy, too He storms off.

the only reason he doesn't pass Lan Xichen in the air is that they aren't quite coming from the same direction. This night is becoming very long but Lan Wangji is happy to explain himself to his brother: the careful methods he's started to use, never very much resentful energy at once, and the careful checks he has on himself, meditation and Cleansing and purification rituals. Lan Xichen isn't happy, but he has to concede that it all seems sound, and the goal is certainly a righteous one, and...there are worse ways to mourn

so when an emergency sect leader cultivation conference is called, because the news that Hanguang-jun has not only moved to Yiling but started practicing demonic cultivation has spread like wildfire, Lan Xichen calmly stands forward and defends his brother, states that Lan Wangji is working on noble goals with careful precautions and the full support of GusuLan, he can confirm it himself as Sect Leader but of course any who wish are welcome to visit Yiling as well and judge Hanguang-jun's precautions for themselves.

I cannot put in words how close Jiang Cheng comes to punching him in the face

So that’s what happens: people visit, see what careful measures Lan Wangji has in place, and are convinc- ha ha lol no it’s politics. But it works out. i wish I could say that it's some sort of tie between who Jiang Cheng hates most: Wei Wuxian for everything, but particularly for not even bothering to try to make it safe like LWJ clearly is; Lan Wangji for thinking he can just get away with this shit; Lan Xichen for helping him do it; everyone else for going along with it when they couldn't give Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng and YunmengJiang a single shred of goodwill; or himself for not standing up for either Wei Wuxian (a la Lan Wangji, however post-mortem)/his brother (like LXC)

but we all know it's nowhere near a tie

so...Lan Wangji doesn't plan to teach Lan Yuan (he's still a Lan! They're both still Lans!) any sort of demonic cultivation, but no matter what he does there's still So Much Dangerous Stuff around here, and they have no backup nearby, and demonic cultivation is just so much easier for those without a well-developed golden core yet -

so he teaches him, you know, some basic chords to make a ghost or corpse go the fuck away

(to start)

UNFORTUNATELY I'm pretty sure the timing is such that the Yi City Affair happened mostly while LWJ was in seclusion? Or at least, the start of it, such that the finding of Xue Yang by the side of the road happened either shortly before or shortly after he got out (and, in this case, went to Yiling)

and they have no reason to visit Yiling, so...all that...plays out. as in canon

no reason to visit Yiling, that is, until Xue Yang is sitting on the floor of the coffin house clutching a bag containing the shards of Xiao Xingchen's soul and feeling something like remorse for the first time in his life and he HATES it, he hates it SO GODDAMN MUCH, he wants to burn everyone who contributed to this to the ground and then torment their ghosts for centuries

so, he might then visit Yiling and the man said to be some sort of inheritor of the Yiling Patriarch's power. He almost certainly tries to play nice and helpless, just a good young man who made bad choices and lost his friend, and Lan Wangji probably tries to give him the benefit of the doubt and...yeah that does not last long.

especially if A-Qing has anything to say mime about it

Xue Yang has a fierce corpse on call and the won't-stay-down attitude of a feral weasel on crack who hates you personally, but Lan Wangji has a the home court advantage, including extensive practice siphoning and applying power from the Burial Mounds, and he's fucking Hanguang-jun.

Result: Lan Sizhui gets a sad fierce corpse uncle and a cheerfully-refusing-to-pass-on ghost-jie

HARD CUT uh...10? Ish? Years later? Wei Wuxian aka Mo Xuanyu is quickly giving up the idea of subtle launching fierce corpses at this hand bc at this point it's either out himself or people die, and the latter is not acceptable. He's just about to whistle them in when a ghost whips in and probably saves someone's life by knocking them out of the way. One of the Lan babies shrieks and hides behind another one - but a third points excitedly to the sky and shouts, "Oh, it's Lan Sizhui! Sizhui, over here!"

and who should descend by sword but one Nice Young Man(TM) with a guqin that he plays while switching effortlessly back and forth between spiritual and resentful energy, which, damn, Wei Wuxian didn't even know that was an option. I mean, it wasn't, for him, but...damn! What a clever kid! Did someone teach him?!

oh yeah, imminent danger of death by angry left hand -

Wei Wuxian does have to openly intervene, or at least, obviously intervene by fierce corpse and shouting some instructions at the kids, and then letting this Sizhui kid take the credit for the fierce corpses and trying to book it but, uh...getting caught. By aforementioned Sizhui kid. Who is polite and formal and, Wei Wuxian points out, extremely un-GusuLan-like, what with the bothering him and also the demonic cultivation. There's probably still the ghost of a teenage girl following them and making rude gestures at Wei Wuxian for insulting her little brother

"That's because I'm from the Yiling branch," Lan Sizhui admits, a little shame-facedly except that it's definitely fake shame.

"Hmm?" says Wei Wuxian, like he knows what that means but is curious for more information (as opposed to have no goddamn idea what that means and desperately wanting more information)

"I, ah, study with Hanying-jun" says Lan Sizhui, who doesn't want to make a big deal out of his parentage.

"Hmm?" says Wei Wuxian, who is fucking Dying here "I thought I might escort you home with me, so you can get properly cleansed after manipulating those corpses. One must be careful, of course." He sighs in a slightly teenagerish way. "It'll take most of a day, probably, after that arm. I try to use only spiritual energy on night hunts, but that was...pretty bad."

Wei Wuxian, internally: okay, CONS: getting spiritually cleaned by Lans, even possibly Cool Lans - ugh, why are Lans always like this. PROS: finding out who the fuck this "Hanying-jun” is, bc...what the fuck. In Yiling? Is he stealing MY schtick?? And I can't just ASK, because clearly this kid expects me to recognize the title, which means Mo Xuanyu would probably recognize the title, and even a Lan who practices some sort of resentful energy manipulation isn't just going to be okay with suddenly meeting the Yiling Patriarch...And i can always run if I have to.

WWX: I mean...okay! I don't have anything else to do!

except they do detour to Dafan Mountain a little because Lan Sizhui wasn't raised quite Lan enough to beat out the rebellious teenager streak and he wants to fight a big monster, and Jiang Cheng nearly fucking draws Zidian on sight bc he really. Hates. The Yiling Lans. And then Lan Wangji shows up just bc he heard about a ruckus and figured it was a good place to find his son

and then goddess statue, Wen Ning, terrible bamboo flute...

it's definitely not 'til after Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng have started and maybe finished fighting before Wie Wuxian finds out that the mysterious bastard who totally stole his spot as Dark Lord of Yiling is Hanguang-jun

or, you know...different title now

apparently

and then LWJ takes him and orders him bathed and - wait actually if they've developed elaborate formal spiritual purification rituals to balance handing resentful energy, he. he probably does order Wei Wuxian bathed

and then brought to his room

oh wow

beautiful

AND THEN PLOT RESUMES AS NORMAL?!? except possibly several questions of romance and Lan Sizhui's history get cleared up much faster

also Lan Wangji - Hanying-jun - doesn’t have as peerless a reputation to trade on. Public opinion is probably fairly split between camps of, like, “he’s doing a good and noble thing, cleaning the Burial Mounds” vs. “the Lans say it’s okay so it must be, but wow that seems dangerous and/or useless” vs. “demonic cultivation is always eeeevil!” Among cultivators specifically, it’s more the first two, but...performatively more the first, genuinely more the second.

#mdzs #the untamed #lan wangji #lan sizhui #lan xichen #jiang cheng #wei wuxian

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mikumoduleoftheday · 4 years

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I also have... thoughts on the new Mirai game. Don’t get me wrong — I played it for 6 hrs straight w/o realizing bc it was so fun and I’ve been waiting for it to come out in English we since they made the announcement for the Japanese version. 💖 But Project Mirai DX’ on 3DS controls are waaaay more comfortable for me and seem more in sync With the right and left hand?? I don’t really know how to explain... What are your thoughts on it??

I will NEVER stop my promoing for Project Mirai DX. I want Project Diva to be MORE like Project Mirai. I genuinely wanted a new, amazing installment of Project Mirai on the Switch as opposed this Diva game. This is my unpopular take and I will not repent for it. Also, I hope you realize what a wall of text you unleashed by asking for my thoughts.

About Mirai vs Diva in general:

The use of the track that notes were placed on in Project Mirai was so good and I really miss it going into Diva. The random placement of upcoming notes in Diva, especially with busy background pvs or fast notes, leaves me scrambling sometimes. Not to mention the way the track would be incorporated as almost another level to the PV in some songs, like it tracing rabbit shapes in Lots of Laugh or making liberal use of the rainbow colored hold bonuses in Reverse Rainbow. It really felt like an extra level of care from the creators.

Also the timing is so much harder in Diva oh my god. Project Diva is so demanding. Janitor Mod enjoyed the few songs that had an Extreme Mode chart in Mirai, but is struggling with Hard Mode in Diva. (Edit: I found out recently that her issue is most likely caused by lag from the joy-cons while I had the Switch hooked up to the TV. There’s a way to calibrate your lag, although I wish the game would have told you up front about the option kinda like Taiko no Tatsujin does. It really seems either playing in handheld mode or with a wired procontroller is the most recommended.) As someone who objectively sucks at rhythm games, it’s been kicking my butt.

I loved the level of customization in the outfits. The outfit swaps were not limited by character, only by gender. I think this would be appreciated a lot be people who’s favorite character is less loved in the outfit department too, it really expands the outfit selection when Meiko can wear the other girls’ clothes and whatnot. Not to mention that some outfits have recolorable sections that allowed you to really tie more disparate designs together.

Minor and inconsequential note in the grand scheme of things, Mirai felt like a bigger game with all of the tiny random things you could do, like the mini games and music editor and the buddy system. It probably doesn’t matter to people more invested in core rhythm gameplay, but even when I wasn’t in the headspace for rhythm games (or in a physical space that would prevent uninterrupted timed play), I still had other options to be engaged with. I miss that in Megamix.

About Megamix specifically:

Most of the issues I have are minor. This is my first Project Diva game, and as such, it doesn’t bother me in particular that its basically a simple rehash of Future Tone. I never had any of the previous games to get bummed that this is the same thing. Obviously, your mileage may vary. From what I’ve heard from others: don’t bother if you already have Future Tone really.

I’m also kinda peeved that there’s no physical English release, not even a limited preorder run. I’m a huge proponent of physical media for a few reasons, but come on. Previous English Diva series got physical releases.

I really dislike the art direction of the actual characters. I prefered the look of the models from Diva F and Diva X more than these. I just like the less exaggerated anatomy.

And yeah, the shader sucks. I tried not to hate it, but it does just look like someone was abusing the saturation sliders in a bad photoshop. It’s too bright and washes away already subtle facial features, almost always leaving them noseless. Characters look especially out of place in any stage that isn’t entirely abstract lights or shapes, as the backgrounds seem to use a different shader? If they really wanted to use the toon shader for the whole game, I wish at least they would have used the Diva F models. I think the simpler style of those models would have fit better at least.

Also, why no new modules besides Catch the Wave?? I know that the ones that stick to 2D pvs are by choice of the producer, but what about the 3D pvs? Seriously why couldn’t they have added Magical Mirai 2016 in for 39 Music?? They already have the design for it. No new design for Alien Alien, nothing for Teo or Hibana. And Roki just reuses the modules that are for Kodoku no Hate.

I personally don’t find any of the the DLC packs as enticing enough to actually buy. None of them have more than one or two songs I want. This will obviously vary on your taste.

I can’t wait for touch play mode to be added to the English version, I really preferred tap mode in Mirai so I’m was really pleasantly surprised to hear it would be added to Megamix.

That said, the menus are clean and mostly user-friendly with the exception of a few confusing names. The game play is fun, the load times are quick, and the song choices are safe but fine. Very Miku heavy, but that’s what I like. The shader means Future Tone’s unholy lighting bloom issue is reeled in (even it just looks bad in a new and different way). I’m glad the hairstyles are interchangeable even if I miss Mirai’s outft swaps not being character locked. The important points of it, you know, being a rhythm game are good. I’m just forever, and probably annoyingly, bogged down in aesthetics.

Post Touch Play addition edit: The system for choosing Touch Play vs button mode, quite frankly I’m sorry, fucking sucks. Having it be buried under layers of menus instead of a separate category like Mix Mode is infuriating. Just have the option come up along with the other two in the selection page. If you didn’t know it was an option, you would never find Touch Play. You would never even know about this whole game mode. As for how the mode actually plays, it’s fine. It feels really crowded on the bottom of the screen, but I’m not sure how else I would have done it? I don’t actually know which I prefer, button or touch screen.

I hope that if you’ve never played a Project Diva game before due to not having a Playstation, that you can get Megamix, I certainly don’t regret the purchase.

#Anonymous #haha sorry for the long post but you asked and i love to talk #not a module #answers #mikumod

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centvr · 4 years

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𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆

[ mat bar/zal . 20 . male . he / him ] just saw 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐔𝐒 '𝐂𝐀𝐙' 𝐙𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐑 dragging their suitcase up the steps of 𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 . good luck living with 𝐇𝐈𝐌 , word around campus is that they’re 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄 , 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐇 , 𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 & 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 . makes sense they chose that house now , doesn’t it ? let’s hope this new living situation doesn’t affect their 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐑 year of 𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 [ oliver . 22 . they/them . est ]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒

the son of one of the most prominent nflers not following in his father's footsteps, shunned for choosing the wrong sport ( perhaps his father should have known, naming him CASSIUS after the betrayer ) ; a graduate of the us national team development ( hockey ) program where he really came into his own as a TWO-WAY CENTER & continues to grow with his college team ; in his third and final year studying BIOLOGY, because if the nhl didn’t pan out he always wanted to be a vet ; a sharks prospect, but A MINNESOTA BOY through and through, from his love of frozen lakes to his love of hockey ; just someone who hides everything with a smile and a nonchalant attitude even when he’s about to break and knows failure is not an option when he's come this far.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

( tw for death & verbal / emotional abuse )

— cassius adrian zeckhauser was born on a chilly november day, the first snow flurries of the year fluttering outside the st. paul ( minnesota ) hospital window. star nfl quarterback robert zeckhauser at the tailend of his career and his beautiful model wife welcomed their newborn son into what should have been the perfect life — with a name like that though, it probably should’ve been obvious that he wasn’t destined to be happy.

— and it was extremely close to perfect for almost twelve years. time was split between st paul and a summer and vacation home in monterey, california. caz followed in his father’s footsteps playing football, and also hockey as all good minnesota children do. it was a snowy night not too long after his twelfth birthday when his mother passed away suddenly of what doctors claimed were natural causes. they never were able to identify what exactly it was that ended her beautiful life, all caz knows is that after that things changed.

— now in retirement from playing, his father sold their main home in minnesota and moved them permanently to monterey. grief changes people, and not always for the better. in the wake of the loss of his wife, robert zeckhauser threw himself into the bottom of a bottle and coaching rather than face his grief and became obsessed with what he saw to be his son’s god given path to nfl stardom.

— caz, to his credit, did show great potential at football. his father’s additional coaching only gave him an edge : no one could argue that he was talented just because of his father’s influence — unless they were just referring to him inheriting his genes. caz loved football actually, but that was before his father’s dogged obsession with him succeeding in it. then high school came and thing became much worse. the more robert zeckhauser became obsessed with his son following in his football career, the more caz began to hate it.

— the field was soon associated with negativity, even though his coaches did their best, it wasn’t enough to tamper the infamous temper of robert zeckhauser. he never laid a hand on caz, but that was only because he didn’t have to — caz was simply too afraid.

— and so caz began to spend more and more time at the one place that seemed to bring good memories for him : the ice rink. growing up in minnesota, caz knew how to skate and how to play the game, of course ; it was pretty much inevitable. he’d shown what same said could be elite PROMISE at that too before robert zeckhauser packed up ship and moved them to sunny california. hockey wasn’t just for the frigid sub-zero temperatures of canada.

— with the extra time on the rink to calm his mind and escape the noise of the outside world, caz became even better, standing out boldly on his hockey team as the BEST by miles ( and that meant catching the attention of scouts for a certain program ). robert would yell at dinner about priorities ; for once, caz wouldn’t listen. it all came to a head when caz received an invite to try out for the us national team development program before his junior year of high school. and then caz finally saw a chance at salvation : a way out. ( all robert zeckhauser saw was his son personally spiting him by picking the wrong sport and throwing away millions and tainting the family legacy ).

— but regardless, caz ended up making the squad by the skin of his teeth, playing for them for two years — and best of all, being able to spend the school year back in minnesota away from the presence of his father. it was evident early on that he made the right choice, and under the usntdp coaches he made progress in leaps and bounds — going from barely making it into the program into one of their best. but with that came his father’s wrath — caz only went home to monterey when he had to, and sometimes not even then, preferring to stay with one of his teammates if they would have him. summers were near inescapable though, filled with loud, toxic beratements and even longer, more toxic silences.

— fortunately or perhaps unfortunately, caz was climbing the prospect charts though — and the only thing robert zeckhauser hated more than his son was bad press, and that meant all their arguing and deeply negative relationship was kept under tight wraps from the public eye. caz’s development and talent and increasing prestige was probably the only thing that kept his father from actually cutting all ties with him, which at least meant he never had to want for money to support himself.

— caz had plenty of schools clamoring for him to commit by his senior year, but most intriguing was a personal visit from the head coach and athletic director of the west coast halston university. meant to bring an east coast flavor to the west, they’d just recently received their division i designation for their men’s hockey team only the season past and wanted caz to be their defining piece to keep them there. there were other schools of course, boston university, minnesota, north dakota, a handful of ivies, and yet caz’s mind kept going back to halston and eventually he signed on the dotted line for them.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂

— his major is bio because if the nhl doesn’t work out he always wanted to be a vet and has a deep love for animals. a dog is something he’s always wanted, but has never had the time of physical stability to adopt one. he doesn’t have much time during the school year but in the summer he volunteers part-time at an animal clinic.

— drafted before his freshman year in the 2018 draft 21st overall to the san jose sharks :) he’s a two-way, playmaking center with exceptional skating skills. centers the first line and plays on the powerplay, and more recently has become a fixture on the penalty kill as his defensive abilities have gotten better ( i’m thinking jack eic/hel in style, but like... if you walked jack back to an appropriate college level lmAO ). wears number 13 bc im lazy in edits and has an A.

— caz is in his third and final year of college. thanks to a heavy number of ap credits, summer classes, and a much sharper mind than most people give him credit for ( and far too much stress and sleep deprivation ), he’s close to pulling off his plan to graduate in three years. ideally, the sharks would have liked him to be playing with their ahl team this year, but caz had made it clear he wanted to graduate before joining the nhl, upholding a promise he’d made to his mother before she passed away. it was agreed caz would have three years, and he hopes to make the team straight out of training camp come next august.

— caz was sixteen, finally away from his father and thriving under the guidance of the ntdp, when he realized he liked guys just as much as he liked girls — maybe even a lot more. it’s something he had to come to begrudging acceptance with ; a difficult task for him at first. it was simply a fact and facet carefully explored behind locked doors and then carefully buried where no one could ever find out ( he doesn’t know which would be worse : his father or the media ). currently, he’s extremely careful about his approach with the same sex, often just sleeping with guys also in the closet or at least those who understand the sensitivity of the subject — often fellow athletes.

— when it comes to destressing, caz is unsurprisingly one to frequent the rink or go for a run. he has recently taken up yoga though which has had the added benefit of improving his flexibility so win-win, he guesses.

— caz keeps a pretty steady schedule somehow, rising at nearly the same early time every day even if the time he goes to sleep fluctuates and even if he doesn’t have a morning practice to get to. he believes it’s a good habit to establish. he’ll go down to the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast. that being said, that doesn’t mean he’s a morning person — he’s grumpy and near mute until he’s had at least two cups of coffee, but he will offer to make anyone who’s also up that early an omlet.

— any positive traits caz exudes are certainly in no way thanks to his father, but rather a series of people who stepped into that role when he left at sixteen. he didn’t realize it at the time, but running away from something also become running toward something else. his coaches stepped into fatherly roles in his real father’s absence. they and his billet family and the parents of his friends in the program kept him grounded and level-headed when he could have turned out much differently.

— he’s a regular at a cafe near campus that he stops at after morning workouts/practices before going to his first class. he drinks his coffee black.

— he’s no chef but he’s decent in the kitchen and very cognizant of the food he puts into his body. because of that, he’s also not a huge drinker either and rarely consumes soda.

— there’s a pullup bar on his door and he starts and ends his day with situps, pushups, and pullups.

— caz was raised roman catholic but his own beliefs have trended strongly toward agnostic as he’s gotten older.

— he goes by caz and pretty much caz only. he’s doesn’t make it very well known what his actual first name is, and almost everyone who does know has found out on accident be it a rookie mistake in the hockey team’s promoing ( doesn’t happen much anymore ) or a curious eye on his driver’s license. cassius is what his father calls him, and he’d prefer it if no one else did.

— the décor of his room is extremely minimalist. a photo of a night sky over a frozen lake in minnesota on his wall and one from his time at the ndtp on his nightstand are the only ones in his room. a sharks pennant hangs on the inside of his door as a reminder of what he’s working toward. it’s otherwise kept bare and clean. his sheets are gray, his comforter plain black. he keeps thinking about getting some plants but has never gotten around to it.

— since caz’s start at halston, his father picked up a sports analyst job in the bay area where he also rents a lavish apartment. this means he’s thankfully usually absent in their monterey home which caz usually frequents in the summers save for the month he’s on campus for summer classes.

— accolades : silver medalist ( 2019 world junior championships ), 21st overall 2018 entry level draft, silver medalist ( 2018 IIHF world u18 championships ), gold medalist ( 2017 IIHF world u18 championships )

— i imagine that halston’s d1 hockey program functions very similarly to that of arizona state university in that it is an independent program not affiliated with any conference. upon creation of the program, they played a hybrid season against a variety of D1, D2, and D3 programs and transitioned to playing against exclusively D1 programs starting the season before caz arrived on the team ( 2017-2018 ). they have made the frozen four final once last season ( 2020 ) and lost in the semifinals.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

PRIVATE , SELFISH , AMIABLE & HARDWORKING

— caz is someone who puts a hundred percent into whatever he does : practice, homework, a friendly game of volleyball in the backyard. no one would call him a slacker by any means, except of course his father. his focus and motivation is unparalleled, and that’s helped him greatly through his life in school and his endeavors toward being a professional athlete. but there are times when he puts too much of himself into something. he’s terrible at multitasking, focusing on one thing at a time in full, and has a tendency to burn out if he’s not careful ( or if no one’s looking out for him — which in his first year at halston, probably was more common than not ). he doesn’t like people who don’t try their hardest, though he’s sympathetic to those who do and still do not seem to get the results they want — especially those on the hockey team, often offering to lend them a hand if they want it.

— in his life caz has come to learn that only person he can fully trust and count on is himself. that’s resulted in a rather selfish streak in him, though he works to not let that appear too much on the surface. he’s not an unkind person who would walk over others to get what he wants, and he fears growing into the arrogance and blunt forwardness of his father, but the ultimate bottom line is he will always chose to help himself over someone else. there are a few rare exceptions to this of course : a handful of his teammates and very close friends.

— still, he’s a friendly person, someone who’d give off fairly good and relaxed vibes ; some may even call him kind. there are plenty of people who’d consider him a friend, though the truth is they might not know all that much about caz. he has the uncanny ability to make people feel like they know him without revealing anything of substance. he’s very much a two-way mirror or the façade in that manner : caz sees out but no one ever sees in. to most he’s happy, he’s fine, friendly, amiable, and never gives anyone a reason to doubt that.

— caz has a way of appearing calm, cool, and collected even when he’s not, and a lot of effort on his part goes into that to come across that way. there’s a lot that can hide behind a smile and an easy-going attitude and caz has perfected that armor meticulously. the truth of course is that he’s under an immense amount of pressure and a lot closer to falling apart then he wants to admit — he’s afraid if anyone did manage to worm their way in that he’d fall to pieces.

— he’s most reserved at parties, always in attendance and participating enough for it to be socially acceptable but never letting himself go completely. there’s still a lot he can lose, and he’s not in the business of doing anything that could jeopardize that further.

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

— 6′0″ & 189 lbs : caz is unsurprisingly very fit and strong, with the large quads and glutes 🍑 common in hockey players, though his upper body and core strength is nothing to snooze at either.

— black hair with a slight curl, usually kept to a modest length and styled to look effortless, could be described as fluffy or tousled ( pretty much as it looks in most of the gif icons and visage gifsets ). when he’s stressed he has a tendency to run his hands through it and it looks even messier. caz isn’t much on his appearance, but he is careful to tend to his hair. it does get quite long in the summer, seeing as he often doesn’t get it cut between the end of the season until right before pre-season ; often needing to be kept back in a bun near summer’s end.

— gray-hazel eyes : their exact shade depends on the light. they’re very much his father’s eyes over his mother’s warm brown ones ; it’s a fact he hates but he does appreciate the fact he also inherited his dad’s 20-20 vision.

— typically clean shaven or with some stubble when he misses a couple days or so or sometimes slightly more esp around exams and project due date. the exception to this of course is during the end of year tournaments during which he doesn’t shave and looks rather scruffy.

— on a normal day, caz has the fashion sense you’d expect from a college athlete, liberally employing the use of sweatpants, nike and adidas track pants, t-shirts, hoodies, and sneakers and slides. he does have the ability to look nice when he has to though, often cutting a sharp figure in a suit on gamedays and formals, or a slim fitting pair of darkwash jeans and a button down when the occasion calls for it.

— jewelry : he’s almost always wearing a rather non-descript necklace with a small circular pendent that belonged to his mother ; an analogue watch with a brown leather band that doesn’t seem to match with his college athlete look that was a gift on his eighteenth birthday from one of his coaches who became a father-figure in his life ; his right lobe is pierced ( the result of a some very poor judgement in the summer before he arrived at halston, but at least it wasn’t a tattoo of something embarrassing like his friend zac ), very rarely is anything in it and most people don’t know it even exists, but he puts something in it frequently enough that it still hasn’t closed up.

— scars : a small scar over his right cheekbone from an accident on a frozen lake when he was young, near invisible unless you’re close or know it’s there ; two longer scars about two inches long on his right outside elbow from when a cat scratched him at the clinic ; several other small ones he can’t recall the injuries they’re from

— tattoos : a butterfly and a moth in flight together on his left bicep, the butterfly was for his mother, the moth in a way to represent himself ( they mean self-acceptance, after all ).

— PINTEREST BOARD HERE

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

first and foremost, i love chatting and brainstorming with people. i think that’s where the most meaningful plots are formed, but here are a few ideas to serve as starting points :

— childhood friend ( any ) : someone who is also from a wealthy family, likely close to monterey or in the very least in california. they had to attend a lot of the same fancy diners and parties as him. perhaps this person is aware of his true relationship with his father and just how deeply negative it is. — TAKEN BY BLAIR.

— the set up ( female ) : this was a last ditch effort from his father, not long after caz left for the usntdp when he was sixteen, his father set him up with this girl he deemed to be a suitable match, the daughter of another rich family ( perhaps sports related, or just wealthy ). most of their contact probably was over the summer when caz was more free. the nature of their relationship can be brainstormed, robert stopped pushing it when caz was drafted at eighteen ( two years ago ), but i think he still wants it to happen.

— the ex-girlfriend ( female ) : caz only has had one girlfriend in college from his freshman year. this is pretty open-ended but i do strongly believe that she broke up with him ( for whatever reason, but i imagine something along the lines of him not loving her nearly as much as she loved him ).

— i hate your guts ( any ) : they were groomed to HATE each other, to carry on the stupid rivalry of their fathers that no one remembers the reason for — perhaps it’s as simple as there not being enough room for both of their egos. it doesn’t really matter what the reason that started this was. they don’t really know why they hate each other at this point, it’s just a fact as instinctive as breathing ; not a single conversation can be had without them clashing in some way — TAKEN BY KIERAN.

— you know i’ve got your back ( male ) : honestly caz just needs a friend, guys...

— animal lover ( any ) : someone who’s run into him at the animal clinic over the summer or is just somehow otherwise aware of his love for animals. i just want to write something about that facet of him.

— the blind date ( female ) : someone his teammates keep trying to set him up with because they’re certain he’s lonely. i mean... he is but that’s not the point. honestly so open ended. — TAKEN BY FRANKIE.

— hookups, project partners, people on campus he randomly runs into, fans of the hockey team, fans of him, crushes on him, housemates, the world is our oyster lads.

— also i know the ratio is kinda off on this list but i’m a lot better of coming up with plots for males on the spot so honestly just come vibe w me. okay thank you 😔

𝐎𝐎𝐂

hello everyone !!! i’m oliver or ollie, 22, they / them pronouns, and in the est timezone. i am very excited to be finally bringing caz off hiatus with the very sexy mat as his fc ( which if you know who he is u probably were like ‘ whiteguyblinking.gif ’ when you saw him on the list but i promise this is gunna work, i’ve been making gif icons like crazy ). he was always my first choice fc for caz but i was always too lazy to make it happen until NOW. also im censoring all actual nhlers names because i don’t need the mortification of this showing up in their tags somehow. anyway, i’m super excited to get things rolling and i hope we’re here for a good long time !!

#halston.intro #( in the instance u may recognize this character #pls know i rewrote most of this to be...#a lot nicer and more in depth so #kindly pls read )#( new fc #MUCH better intro )#( it went from 988 words to #3.5k #😭😭😭 )

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