Can someone yell at me to get over my best friend, because whyyyy.
Like yeah hes cute, and nice, and an idiot and I’ve always had a thing for idiots, but hes also one of my best friends
I sit at lunch with him, i walk to classes with him, i send him my random reels that i cant send to anyone else.
But if i fall harder, than im doomed, like i see him almost everyday
So someone please let me get over him. Aphrodite, eros, god, whoever did this pleaseeeeee
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I Miss Myself
What I used to be was radiant, like the stars that are scattered across the galaxy and warm like fresh baked bread. I felt like a field filled with hundreds and thousands of flowers of all different colors and shapes and sizes, like a sweet sweet melody, like how the grass smells after it rains and the scent of new books, like how crystals shine and how soft sweaters feel. Like the morning sun.. warm and familiar. They were all me and I was them.
I miss when the forest was filled with so many fascinating animals, when the trees were vibrant and the waterfalls were so majestic, when nothing was threatening or risky or dangerous. I miss when the ocean was blue, crystal clear and oh so deep. Even when we couldn't see the end we knew it was colorful and glorious down there. Corals were so bright and the sea life was just that.. sea life. The creatures living so peacefully, beautiful and unique in their individual ways. I don't want it to be scary or bottomless. I don't want to feel like its a void filled with demonic creatures waiting to tear me into dozens of pieces, like that is where god takes his revenge. I miss when the skies were just canvases with so many different colors, so many magical possibilities awaiting to cater to your imagination.
I used to be happy, so happy and okay. I was doing okay. Until I understood.. I started observing more and I truly started to see everything around me. Little by little it shattered me. I tried to fight back but I'm only oh so strong. Fast forward to now I am hanging on by a few threads. It has been seven years since I started fighting, if anything it only got worse. What do I do when I'm down to one thread?, what will I do when it breaks? I don't want to end. I want my old self back. I want to be happy and alive. Safe and cared for. I want to protect and be protected. I want to dance and sing and draw and read and eat and drink and sleep well and get through my days with ease and peace. I crave a healthy life and a healthy body, a positive mindset and a brain that doesn't whisper hatred.
I do so much to only receive nothing, it's just.. sad. I feel like the monster everyone tries to stay away from. Not good enough for school, not good enough for friends, not good enough for parents, not even good enough for strangers. So I am not good enough to exist?. I can't even buy groceries without my anxiety trying to kill me. Thoughts always on the back of my head; You are not good enough, oxygen waster, idiot, useless, monster, underserving, nobody should care, you like to suffer don't you?, all your fault, don't deserve to eat, pathetic, your blood is better spilled, shouldn't waste money, the only use you have is to be a human shield. too broken, too shattered, too irresponsible, so lazy, so dumb, so annoying, such a burden, a botheration, crazy, crazy, lunatic, overdramatic, SHUT UP!, die, die, die, die, DIE.. just die. Wow.. my own enemy much?. Sad to say that this is only a few. I might just be erased out of existence someday, who can tell?.
At least I had happiness.. even for a few young years of my life.
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seanzlo is perfect, it can be read platonically as the best relationship two best friends can have
And it can be read as the most interesting and original romantic relationship ever
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Last night I had a dream
I was a pretty girl
With a pretty boy
In a pretty place
Last night I had a dream
I had fully transitioned
Settled with somebody I love
Feeling that I was free
Last night I had a dream
We held hands under the sunlit moon
Gazing at the stars
Breathing in the moment, living it forever.
Last night I had a dream
I was safe
I was loved
I was happy.
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I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks
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🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇 ANTI DEPRESSION BAT ATTACK 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
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cis people will say “I found out I’m having a baby girl at my anatomy scan and I’m experiencing gender disappointment” but be mad when you say “who knows? maybe you’ll end up with a son anyway”
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