#i will cry again right here about it

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I want you whipped into shape!

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#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #yu ziyuan #wang lingjiao #wen zhuliu #'When I say jump - say “how high'”? You know you're doing it right when you start to cry!“ #Of course I can't resist the Legally blonde reference. This is the Elle Woods is canon in PD-MDZS blog #I love this scene so much. There are a lot of things to say about it and I would go over the limit if I indulged. #Suffice it to say the main takeaway *here* is that I think YZY is milfboss of the millennia. #I intended for this to be posted on international women's day but my ambition led me to keep trying to make it better. #And by better I mean I spent several days (re)drawing this one and that is **not** what poorly-drawn-mdzs is supposed to be about. #I will be making the next few comics worse to compensate <3 At the very least I will honour my time and tag it as 'better drawn' #('my time' spent hunched over my desk while I chant 'this concept is *not* above my skill level!' over and over again) #Funny story about PD!Wen Zhuliu; he was supposed to show up sooner but I kept accidently cutting the comics he would have been in. #So I like to think he just went on a long coffee run. 'Go get me an (insert coffee chain) pink drink' said Wen Chao. #'He never said from which location' said Wen Zhuliu as he proceeded to walk 100km to the farthest cafe he could find.

[naamahdarling]

.

#i feel like my presence here has narrowed so much because my life has narrowed so much to encompass mostly pain and frustration #with the medical system and disability and the state of my fucking country #and the occasional highlight of my cats #i can't work on my art #it's agonizing to even try and i wind up crying #and it's because this horseshit rigged system has ripped the safety out of it #i might as well give my work away for free since they want to take 100% of my earnings out of my check #which like i am not even remotely opposed to giving my work away (would prefer even) but we need the money and i'm not allowed to keep it #i don't know #my life is just so small right now and i don't know how to find meaning again in a world that keeps so much of what i love away from me #it's a slog and every day is the same #and nothing i do feels meaningful #except holding my cats and being with my boyfriend #and that's about all i can do.

[chalkrub]

Pixie had to be put down yesterday and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced, she was such a special gentle little girl and I’m going to miss her so fucking much it’s hard to really comprehend right now. I’m so thankful I got to spend 20 years of my life with her, which is basically as far back as I can really remember – love her more than I can say

not sure if i'll post more or less art over the next while, depends on how i cope with it but heads up either way.

much love, give your pets a kiss for me

#not art #i never really talk about this stuff here but the last few weeks have been so hard for multiple reasons #it was so fucking rough seeing her decline over time. she went blind when we were on holiday in august and never really recovered #been literally sick with grief since yesterday and have headaches from crying so much it's horrible #i just can't believe she's gone and i'll never see her again or hug her or get kissed by her or anything. she's just gone #and the house is so full of her right now like all her things it's so hard #animal death//

[imsiriuslyreading]

chapter 6 of kyd will fucking break your heart if you love evan lmao i reread that one like once a week bc its SO GOOD

hiya okay confession time

i finished it at 11:54pm last night. i genuinely inhaled like from chapter 6 to the very end in an *unhealthy* amount of time.

i literally could not put it down. i did nothing but eat talk sleep and dream KYD. the mary chapter? I SOBBED i lost it i was a mess. rosekiller? i cant even talk about it. little jeggy babies? dont.

but wolfstar were, as always, to the shock of nobody, the fuckin standout for me. i am besotted. in love. I'm face down int he dirt wailing with my eyes wide open for them. it was so beautiful. i keep meaning to go on tiktok and talk about it because i loved it so much and i promised updates for my friends but everytime i open the app i just sit there speechless like a fuckin goldfish because THERE ARENT WORDS.

anyway yes, my heart was broken MANY A TIME

have a nice day! <3

#harry potter fanfiction #lanas crying again #messermoon #kill your darlings #i cant even #dont talk to me about bee and rosy #i'll die right here right now buddy #wolfstar always standing by a speaker #please i cannot cope

[karamell-sweetz]

i wish an shiraishi from the hit music group vivid bad squad a lot of happiness once this event passes. PLEASE.

#project sekai #karamell yells #karamell's confections #an shiraishi #i didn't think i'd have to whip this meme template out again but. here we are #AN MY BABY #right after i rant about her to my non-anime friend too... #my day be so fine then BOOM. pretty girl crying

[feelingtheaster99]

The beats in this episode were crazy too, like we go from Ylfa breaking down crying trying to find answers about herself and life and grief to the ENTIRE party CACKLING as they bully Pinocchio to tell the big bad wolf his terrible wolf joke in a mere matter of MINUTES

#big and bad #big and bad spoilers #like I’m suffering WHIPLASH here #and bow down to Emily Axford again in this ep #I was fully about to cry right alongside Ylfa #THERE WERE TEARS ROLLING DOWN HER CHEEKS #AND HER CHIN WAS TREMBLING #and then like the next second #they were all losing their minds joking around with the big bad wolf #talking about him having sex #and also him threatening to kill Pinocchio if he Doesn’t come up with a good joke? #that was mentioned so causally??? #I really hope this doesn’t turn into another night yorb moment #like that was just a joke right??? #we’re not gonna get a neverafter part 2 and the wolf is gonna show up again demanding a joke??? #neverafter #neverafter spoilers #Emily axford #dimension 20 #d20

[deus-ex-mona]

series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:

#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨ #and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate #so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah. #thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou #i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh #compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol #i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help— #so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig #my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa #i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control… #b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you #tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao #so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol #but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato) #so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though #either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane #i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date… #at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration… #…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig. #oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far… #i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience. #help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m. #anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee

[wayfinderships]

The day is gonna end soon so I just wanted to say a final thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday <3 Thank you all so so much! You've all really made today so special!

#pan rambles #Sorry for sounding like a broken record but it's true-agkdngkdfn #Seeing all the messages really brightened up my day and I really appreciate it ;v; #You're all very sweet and I can't thank you enough! #Also sorry for how long it might've taken me to answer some of the asks- #Afksnfkdnfkd I'm quite tired now! Today was busier than I expected it to be! #Doesn't help that I cried like mlre than once-afksnf #Contrary to the fact this is literally a blog about me being affectionate with fictional dudes- #I get very overwhelmed (in a good way) by affection quite quickly-afksnfkdb The right words and I'll be a sobbing mess #When a pal I've known for many years #(hehe I can gush about her here bc she doesn't follow this blog) said “Thank you for being a part of my life” I instantly started to cry #My gushing and thanking aside-I promise I'll be back to the usual stuff tomorrow! #I will be normal self ship blog again I prommy <3 #Hope you all have a great night!!!

[millenniummmbop]

rivalshipping is about healing to me but like in a “well-meaning yet still ill-advised codependency” way

#*pulls down projection screen and extends my collapsible pointer stick thing* #Yugi was a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who went too far w the whole revenge fantasy thing #until The Power Of Friendship TM mellowed him out and he finally landed in a more emotionally stable state #*clicks to next slide* #meanwhile kaiba over here is ALSO a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who ALSO went too far w his own fucked up revenge fantasy #*quickly shuffles through slides of Death-T* #but two mind-shattering comas later and yugi at the very least was willing to bury the hatchet and try to start over again #the whole 'kaiba vs peg sus' fiasco was where everyone finds out kaiba's motives up to that point and where it all finally clicks for yugi #*clicks to next slide to reveal the 'he just like me fr' meme but it's yugi crying on the balcony inside peggy's castle* #it's after this that yugi starts thinking 'Well friendship fixed ME so maybe it can fix HIM too' #*clicks next slide and hits play on the embedded video* #Yugi: good morning kaiba-kun! nice weather we're having today huh? #Kaiba: I'm going to beat u in the face and in the ass #Yugi: haha alright bud I'll see u at regionals tomorrow #Yugi said so himself that he wanted 'friends he could count on and who could count on him' (paraphrasing) #i think he saw this mess of a human being recklessly barreling towards the edge at 100 miles an hour and said #'yeah this looks like something i can personally fix' #bc he's the type of person to just selflessly shoulder a mountain of burdens if it means helping someone he cares about #like his heart is definitely in the right place but i don't think he realizes that kaiba also needs like #therapy and mood stabilizers or some shit #*a voice rings out from the back of the class* #'op they had like 10 minutes of conversation MAX over the entirety of duelist kingdom this is literally all in ur head* #no no the groundwork is there for all of this i PROMISE #lion king rafiki voice: look harder #like yes i'm delusional but i'm also RIGHT #(⓿_⓿) #ignore me

[ariesbilly]

Well my grandpa has cancer. Processing it how I do all bad news; pushing it to the back of my mind and not wanting to speak of it out loud

#a lot of emotions are coming up right now #none of which I want to talk about because I don’t want to cry about it #like I told my brother and that almost set me off so we’re not speaking of it again I’m not doing that #I can post about it on here because none of you know me irl so like…it doesn’t make it feel real #but I can’t speak to anyone I know about it cuz it’s just gonna make me sad #and I don’t want to be sad #so I will make this post and not speak of it again because that is how I cope

[tarmac-rat]

Hey hey I need to uuh hum fight you at the back of a Denny's or something over those tags on my cyberpunk post lile wtf? That's such a good analysis of his character I love your work a lot in general but this is doing me in I'm gonna cry, you're so fucking right about this dumb broken man 🥺😠

I will not fight you I will bake you a cake and give you a kiss because you're very sweet I appreciate your kindness 😘

I really love your perspective on Johnny's disabilities and addictions impacting how he sees and interacts with the world-- as someone who herself isn't disabled I tend to overlook the way people view the world through that lens and as a result have realized that I haven't touched upon it much in my own analysis of Cyberpunk, and your insight really was spot-on and spoke to me in a way I hadn't considered before.

I talk a lot about the themes and meta of the game but Pondsmith himself came out and said, like, before the game came out that Johnny is not the hero of the story. He THINKS he's the hero of the story but the way people and even himself idolize him and his actions are in many ways his biggest shortcoming. Johnny is addicted to the image of himself, much like he's addicted to his vices and addicted to his cause. He needs his anchors no matter how detrimental they are to him, but in many respects those anchors were never his choice. Now he's stuck in his place, dug in and unable to move, and that's the way he dies. Alone, unmoored, and stuck in his ways.

He's a very tragic and even empathetic character-- I do understand why he does the things he does and feel for him when he suffers tragedies-- but treating him as a hero of this story is wrong, in my opinion. He's a disabled, traumatized war veteran who was set up in life to fail at a very early age. His flaws are of his own making. They are not of his own design.

#brujebutch #Johnny Silverhand #He's just so.................tragic but in a very stinky way #Of course he was going to dip right back into his ways the second he got body autonomy #In a very unrelated tangent I was actually just watching the Netflix documentary about Johnny Manziel (I know I know hear me out) #I won't go on a tangent about how the story of a real life man's struggles with addiction parallels my fictional blorbo I'm not that tactle #but it did frame the IDEA of addiction in a different light for me-- the addiction to fame and lifestyle in this case #Johnny's addictions-- while yes are physical in some cases-- are similarly intangible in my eyes and digging through the lore #At least the addiction to his image and his legacy. It's basically the only thing he has left Post-Mikoshi #He desperately needs to cling to the image of himself. JUSTIFY the image of himself. VALIDATE the image of himself #Johnny's addition to his own self image feeds into everything else and GOD is it just so #Both awful and infuriating. You want the man to stop but you know he won't and you get why he CAN'T #Anyway it's 11 pm here and I need to stop myself before I cry myself to sleep #Enjoy your day and thanks again for your kindness! I will not fistfight you at Dennys tho

[sailor-aviator]

.

#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

[mimiatmidnight]

Will you be commenting on the Taylor drama?

I love the way this was worded, like I'm one of the siblings on Succession and the press has cornered me outside my penthouse to ask if I'll be releasing a statement on my family's latest scandal. Hehehe anyways.

Sorry but I just don't understand how anyone is shocked. Truly what has that woman ever done to successfully convince people that this is out of character for her. Like I don't want to diminish anyone's pain or anything but I see all these stans on here and over on Twitter in all this distress, having their very first epiphanies like "Hold on . . . does Taylor . . . suck??" And I kinda just have to chuckle at them cause like bless your hearts babes, but omg catch UP 😭

Lol because 1) she is a severely emotionally stunted person who thinks edgy British "bad boys" are hot like she's 12 years old, 2) she has no true deeply-held moral principles outside of issues that directly affect herself, and 3) truthfully, she seems to be suffering from a serious crisis of identity after the end of the longest and most significant romantic relationship of her life, and in my opinion is pretty clearly desperate to prove something to the world/her ex/herself.

The first reason is cringe but not news to longtime viewers, the second reason is pathetic but also not news (to those who can be honest with themselves), and the third is . . . understandable in some sense, but not pitiable enough to make me willing to humor this insufferable little episode she's having. I wish her luck on this humiliating rebound journey, but she is gonna have to walk that road on her own.

Normally, I always roll my eyes when people make these kinds of jokes, but given the circumstances I feel justified in saying: I can't wait to hear the breakup song about him, sis 🤡

#the great thing about disliking your own fave is that they simply do not have the power to disappoint you lol #like her stans (at least those who arent complete sycophants—which sadly is not most) are breaking down over Babys 1st Cognitive Dissonance #meanwhile im just over here chilling lol #ive also just NEVER been particularly invested in her personal life anyways so im gucci on that front too #i didnt even realize specific songs were about specific celebrity exes until *several* years into listening to her music #thats how unplugged i am lol #she is unusually extremely visible in the collective conscious right now cause of the tour and this insufferable PR blitz #but the absolute best thing for me is when she disappears and i dont have to perceive her -- the actual person -- outside of her music #and then it can just be me and my lifelong companion the fictional character “taylor swift” (c)(r)(tm) #so personally the only real threat this hangs over my head is the thought she might put him on an album #like that does strike real terror in my heart im ngl #ESPECIALLY any of the rerecords oh my god #and given the way hes been tailing her in and out of that damn studio . . . its not looking good for me kids 🥴 #i cant believe she would be that dumb after making the same mistake with joe on folklore #cause even tho now she has to suffer the indignity of sharing a grammy with her ex (LMAO) #at least we can understand that at the time she thought they were in it for life #but if she pulls that shit again with a REBOUND??? just to like stick it to joe or further delude herself or whatever? #idk im gonna need interpol or somebody to step in and do something drastic like this is a cry for help #did you guys see that euphoria meme someone made about her deranged “ive never been happier!!!!” speech the other day? #it was SO funny ill go find it

[bakatenshii]

Hiya! I love your writing and ive been following your blog for a couple of years now (2-3 I think) and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate and adore your writing! Thank you so much for all you’ve written! Ive not been on tumblr much the past few months, and I’ve found that many of my favourite writers are leaving and deactivating their accounts, which is such a pity although completely understandable! Tumblr can be a pretty sucky platform for writers unfortunately :/ anyways I just wanted to thank you for your writing, it’s absolutely gorgeous and your style inspirational! I hope you keep writing, on or off tumblr, as you truly have a gorgeous and unique style! Thank you so much for all your contributions and I hope you’re having a lovely day!!

NONNIEEEEE oh my god oh my god hi hello I am going to sob first and foremost so im gonna get all snotty all over this ask wozooqjzlaozo but thank you so much? genuinely genuinely this means more than u can imagine and I aaAAAAA (being off tumblr and on and off writing ((mostly off oop)) really shows via my decline of the eng language clearly HAHAHA I can’t even articulate properly)

THANK U FOR BEING HERE FOR SO LONG?? AND REMEMBERING ME?? AND JUST. IT FEELS LIKE COMING HOME AND THEN SEEING ALL MY OLD FRIENDS AND THE NOSTALGIA IS A LIL NUCLEAR AND IM JUST SO EMOTIONAAAAAAL AAAAAA

Thank YOUUU for being on here and reading and being so so so lovely to me AND ALSO. im gonna go hide in the tags actually but I owe u my life I am kissing all ur fingers nd toes and maybe lips I’m infinitely happy that ur still here after all this time on this platform, I hope u are having the best day (and the best past few years whilst I’ve been mia <333)

#urusai! baka #OH MYGUAIZIAOZOAKZPIAOAOAO #U DONT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS MADE MY DAY MADE MY WEEK MADE MY ??? MONTH #ILYSM GENUINELY SO SO #I CAME TO CRY ABOUT UR LOVELY COMPLIMENTS IN MY TAGS #BECAUSE I COULDNT DO IT OUT IN THE MAIN POST IM #KICKING MY FEET BLUSHING RUNNING LAPS IN MY BEDROOM AND TAKING COLD SHOWERS #thank u so much for just. ur #idek i never know what to say when someone compliments my writing because im simultaneously combusting at the praise and being seen and just #its so !!!!! thank u for recognizing (??? not the right woed for this but) it and im so happy u like it!!!! #I am working on a fic!! 3k in!! it was going strong and then i got distracted by irl axooaz but its a partner fic with rae rae and SHES #BASICALLY DONE HERS SO IM GONNA QORK HARD TO GET BACK INTO MINE #I love writing sm i just waterboard myself with wips a lil hehe #but hopefully i am praying i xan finish smth for once (again finally) #also re: writers leaving— its so sad and i get itttt and I MISS EVEDYONE ON HERE AND TOSAY I ACC JUAT GOT A TIKTOK FROM 2020 HQ AND IT MADE #ME WANT TO CLAW MY FLESH OFF MY BONES AND FEED IT TO A TIME MACHINE SO I CAN LIKE #PERMANENTLY LIVE IN THAT TIMEEEW AAAA ok ok anyways #i love u pls stay and this msg made my heart explode like a supernova #u r near nd dear to my heart everyone from that time is automatically i am latching onto u all #kissing u loving u hoping the past fww yeass have been amazing for u <33333

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way. #so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

[da-proti-toku-grem]

feeling like a total asshole today 👍

#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night #i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know #so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD #but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying #and i felt absolutely nothing #idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel #like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just????? #that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car) #and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow #and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago #i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back #not right now #not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week #but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go #and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now #and all i can think about is that i'm anxious #i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know #i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it #bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has #but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality #why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain #like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings #i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it #i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it #i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly #so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language) #is easier than talking in spanish #and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind #but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/ #i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit