#i will not apologise for the person i have become

[hariboz]

“forget? you?” — shb x gen!reader

a little something i wrote to get back into my writing flow!

ex!hanbin has been plaguing my mind for a while now. the type to make the heart wrenching decision to break up with you to follow his dreams in hopes of finding what he wanted in the spotlight, ready to sacrifice the comfort of your embrace to chase what he has been dreaming of for years.

“thank you for always being by my side, but i don’t know if i can be happy if i don’t try one last time. i don’t want to break your heart, angel, but will you let me go?”

and you did. of course you did, how could you not? you could always see the sparkle in his eyes when he showed you a new choreography he made, the longing in his gaze when watching others dance on the same stages he could only dream of being on. you knew he was happy with you, you knew he loved you. he was happy, loved and comfortable, yet unfulfilled. because while you would give him every single star in the night sky if you could, no amount of your love would sustain his desire to become the shiniest star of them all himself.

so you let him go, gave him your blessing and told him to better make it to the top so your love was not given up in vain.

you had never seen hanbin cry so much before.

“i promise, angel. i’ll carry you with me in my heart.”

and truth be told, ex!hanbin held his promise. he made it. a leader, a highly sought after visual, a mc, a vocalist.

he’s not your binnie anymore. he’s not the one waking up an hour before your alarm to make you breakfast anymore. he’s not picking you up from work with that sweet smile and a smoothie in his hand. he doesn’t try to teach you his choreos anymore. he doesn’t giggle at you while fixing your hair anymore.

on days where it’s especially hard you catch yourself wishing you had refused, had kept him close to you. had begged him to stay back, to not sacrifice all the serene happiness you shared; but then you snap back to reality, the realisation that these selfish thoughts keep crawling their way up making you feel guilty.

it’s a sick twist of fate, you think, when you happen to walk past a wall of support ads for him plastered along your way. you don’t know whether to laugh or cry; whether you should be elated he is receiving an amount of love you could never have given him or whether you should be hurt and bitter that all this meant more to him than you seemingly ever did.

it’s not fair to compare like that, you know that, but it’s not like he’s there to defend himself. he’s never there anymore.

in your inner frenzy, the internal fight between wanting to support the man you still love oh so deeply and the selfish wish to have kept him for yourself, you bump into someone, misty eyes barely focused enough to notice the person in front of you.

you look up briefly to apologise, wanting nothing more than to get away from this overstimulating throwback to your better times, only to realise that the devil — angel — himself is standing right there.

right there, in front of you. sung hanbin. your binnie.

you know it’s him immediately despite the mask he’s wearing. the all too familiar sparkle in his eyes and his pretty lashes that you know all too well blinking back at you in shock, his eyes desperately darting over your face in an attempt to drink in every little change and detail.

you’re just about to speak when he turns at the sound of his name, which is when you finally realise the crowd standing not too far away, observing him like hawks and pointing their phones at him.

right. he’s idol binnie now.

so you bow politely and leave, trying your best to manoeuvre through the crowd. your heart is beating in your ears, your thoughts all jumbled and confused. you haven’t seen him in so long. not in person, anyways, and now you’re running away? what else could you have done?

it’s like you’re on autopilot, not even noticing you’ve made your way back home until you’re stood in front of your apartment. it’s then when you’re about to unlock your door, planning to crawl into bed and never come back out, that your phone vibrates.

first once, then twice.

“i don’t know if you want to talk to me anymore, but i was happy to see you today. even if it was really short.”

“i miss you.”

“you didn’t forget?”

“forget? you?”

“i could never. i love you.”

”did you ever think about dating an idol?”

ex!hanbin who, i think, would give it all up to follow his dream only to realise every single version of his future had you in it. and now he’s here, trying to win you back, hoping it’s not too late. because ex!hanbin is not only a romantic, but also in love. deeply, unabashedly in love.

#maise’s notes ! #trying to get back into the writing flow 🫶🏻 #this is very dramatic for no reason but that’s where my fingers took me lol #zb1 #zerobaseone #sung hanbin #zb1 fluff #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 x reader #zb1 hanbin #hanbin x reader #hanbin fluff #hanbin scenarios #zb1 angst #hanbin imagines #zerobaseone scenarios #zerobaseone x reader #zerobaseone hanbin #hanbin

[purplepeach333]

The prey

Paring: Feyd x reader

Warnings:none

Word count:1k

Summary: tossed into the lions den lady y/n has to make it through her most unfortunate situation. Soon to be wed to the Na-Baron, seeing the Harkooens cruelty first hand and how everyone fears them, will y/n come to terms with her fate or will she fight it?

~Part 2~

A vast shadow covers the sky, the sound of an ornithopter's wings hovering above draws me from my thoughts, as the fremen gather outside along with my brother and mother. I hang back for a moment calming my nerves and clearing my mind then step out from the security of the large cave.

Making my way to my mothers side I catch a glimpse of the inside of the flying beast. It seems unoccupied, I turn to my mother confused but she does not bother returning a glance focusing her attention on the lowering aircraft.

Once the ornithopter lands on the sand, Jessica approaches to welcome the Harkooens on their arrival but from inside only a single man steps out, his shoulder slumped and his figure thin and fragile, the man looks around his pale face almost becoming paper white. Jessica stops in her tracks “what is this!” She questions looking between the pale man and the aircraft “where is the Baron and his nephew?” She demands

The man reaches slowly into his inner pocket of his unusual outfit, I see Paul’s hand move to his blade as he watches the man closely. Nothing but a small piece of parchment is revealed as the man unfolds it pulling it formally in front of himself, clearing his throat he starts “the Baron apologises for not being able to attend this event himself but he his glad you have finally accepted the offer for your family’s to be brought together and the Baron would like to reassure Lady Jessica that Lady y/n will be in safe hands on her journey to us and during her time with us” finishing the man folds the parchment back up placing it back into his pocket.

“This is ridiculous!” Paul claims angrily stepping forward “mother you can not accept this!”

Jessica simply lifts her hand to silence him, looking back at me “y/n you will go and honour the arrangement” she states her piercing eyes almost daring me to challenge her word.

Seeing no way out I nod in agreement before turning to Paul smiling at him reassuringly, but all he gives in return is an apologetic frown.

—

Finally landing I see three figures waiting at the top of a stairway, immediately recognising Feyd Rautha standing on the left side a larger old man in the middle “the man in the middle he is the Baron, yes?”I ask the man as he helps me off the aircraft “y-yes” the man stutters almost shrinking even more in there presence,turning to close the large door of the aircraft the man whispers “please lady y/n be careful what you say or do in the there presence” before walking away leaving me there feeling like a mouse under the gaze of predators.

Standing straight and confident, I make my way up the long and wide stairs, Jessica had been training me for this my whole life, I would be safe and alive as long as I did not let fear take control ‘fear is the mind killer’.

—

Finally reaching the top of the stairs slightly out of breath and in a worse mood than I had started. The Baron is the first to greet me “Ah Lady y/n, you’ve had a good trip I hope apologies for not coming personally to escort you!” The Baron cries out in a tone of forced joy, being pleasant and welcoming clearly isn’t the Barons strong suit, anyone could see the falsehood behind his manner of kindness.

“Of course Baron, I understand you must be a very busy man.” I reply a similar but much more carefully crafted forced sense of care and joy in my expression.

From the corner of my eyes I can see Feyd Rautha the Na-Baron eyeing me down like a prize his just won, refusing to pleasure him with my attention I ignore his burning gaze

“Well come, come till our departure back to Giedi Prime you will be staying with Feyd in his room, I hope you don’t mind” the old man’s annoying voice breaths out almost as if he’d been gasping for air while speaking

Stunned and internally panicking I look at the Baron confused “but sir Baron. That is not allowed, you know this.” I state

“Do not question me!” His voice rings out loud and directly

My body’s instincts push me to jump back but I refuse standing still and tall “apologies Baron it was not my intention to question or anger you I was merely confused-“ cutting me off the Baron starts floating away without a care, his older nephew trailing behind him.

All I can do is stand, unsure what to do till I feel the Na-Baron's large hand grip around my forearm as his body stands uncomfortably close to mine “shall we” his distinct raspy voice breaks the silence as he pulls me along.

Walking down the sad and empty halls of the Harkooens' large residence, still unfortunately stuck within the Na-Barons grip, eyes wondering every room I pass curiously, the Baron not far ahead of us.

The thought of having to share a room with the Na-baron making my stomach twist uncomfortably. Hoping his duties would keep him busy enough to be left alone for as long as possible. Whilst in tangled thoughts I feel a pull on my arm as I realise Feyd stop suddenly, seeing the Baron turn to us “you here” he calls out to a young looking servant girl walking past as she comes to a halt turning towards the Baron her eyes on the floor “take Lady y/n to get a proper fit of clothes” he ordered, slipping out of Feyds grip I silently nod following the girl.

Once we’re a safe distance from the Harkooens I look at the girl thin, pale and bald like everyone else, her big doe eyes dark and tired looking, her feminine features painted with fear. I glance around quickly before speaking “what is it like on Giedi Prime?” My voice low and soft, “i-it” her voice shakes “it is alright you are free to speak as you please in my presence” I reassure her “It… it is not an easy place for most” she mumbles barely audible “hm, yes I’ve heard”.

—

Stepping out in my new gown feeling strange being out of my sand suit after so long, my dress, simple but elegant, a dark shade of black, small dark gems around the chest, reaching just above the floor. “Thank you, it’s beautiful!” I smile at the servants who fitted me, turning to view myself in the three mirrors in front of me. The room silent but peaceful. I let myself breathe for the first time since my arrival amongst the Harkooens.

The dim lit room decorated with grim colours feeling a little uneasy, “is this how every room is presented” I sigh to the lady’s behind me getting not a single response “great..” I breath out stepping down from the small platform

“I’ll be leaving now, good day” I dismiss myself from the room. Closing the door behind me “this place is ridiculously huge, I’ll never find my way.” I mutter to myself turning to my left and making my way down a deserted hallway.

The thought of running out into the desert and disappearing forever becoming dangerously tempting as I glance out a window into the vast sand seas. “Thinking of fleeing little bird” a raspy familiar voice behind me approaches, “of course not Na-Baron I wouldn’t dare let a thought like that cross my mind” I answer him erasing any expression from my face, he circles me like a shark “they’ve spared no expense on you have they little bird” a sly smirk forming on his lips

“Well I am here to be show off aren’t I, the bene Gessrit finally getting what they want and in doing so giving your uncle a new toy to brag about'' i reply standing straight and unfazed by his presence, “you think you’ve got everything figured out have you?” Feyd steps closer, his eyes blue and unfortunately for me quite pretty.

“Feyd!” A loud masculine voice rings out from the head of the corridor, Feyd visibly annoyed but not removing his eyes from mine “what do you want Glossu?” He shouts back “uncle is demanding your presence brother” Glossu yells back his shoulder broad “”I’ll see you tonight little bird” Feyds eyes stay on mine a moment longer before he turns storming down past his brother, wondering what horrible idea his got distracts me from the man walking up to me “lady y/n allow me to escort you to your room” Glossu approaches much kinder than the Na-Baron “yes, thank you” I smile thankfully to him as I follow his lead down the labyrinth of corridors.

Tag list:

@avidreader73

@mamawiggers1980

#imagine #y/n #feyd x reader #dune imagine #feyd rautha #feyd imagine #dune 2 #x reader #feyd fanfiction #fyppage #viral

[traumainpyjamas]

JENO \\ NCT DREAM 엔시티 드림 'Smoothie' MV

#nct dream #smoothie mv #jeno #i apologise for the person i'm about to become #excuse me nct dream WHAT?? Is this what we are now? argh #loved the artistic vibes of the MV #AND THE SONG! i'm obsessed #the whole album is so good! #i have zero regrets of ordering it. now i just hope it arrives....tried a new store...i live in suspense #prepare for more gifs and more breakdowns.....if i have the time...real life has been bothering me #I just had to start with mr. problemo here #lee jeno #he is a problem #i'm weak for jeno #nct dream smoothie #nct jeno #nct #gifs

[mor3au]

t minus 4 days to tsc and everything is becoming aftg brainrot

#i apologise in advance for the person im about to become #four days until jean moreau comes back to himself in pieces and i will have to fling myself out a window #aftg #tsc #jean moreau #* #andrew minyard #aaron minyard

[mizutaama]

If they had any trace of remorse or guilt they would have willingly handed it over by now

#gyanvapi #i dont know what their religious teachers teach them that they have become so utterly remorseless #some part of me did think maybe we should have pushed the ram mandir idea so hard #but for years they willingly washed their feet on the shivling #knowing very well what it was #not one single person has apologised #this is like if i used the cross to pick my nose if front of the pope #should not have* #hindublr

[cinnamon-phrog]

A mutual reblogged a pr*ship post and their dni is now neutral. Unfallowed. Bolcked.

#see if i joke i don't CHOKE. on my tears. because this just keeps happening #i'm so scared to interact with mutuals for this exact reason #most i've made have either left me. became toxic over minor differences or become a degenerate. #which is sad because i really enjoyed this friend and all those friends before they or i cut ties #but this kind of shit is unforgivable to me. i've had bad experiences with a friend turning out to be a pr*shipper #everyone flocked to me to fix their traumas but i had talked to that person often. it hurt a lot. they harassed people who harassed them #i was only 15. and i was threatened but what the hell is a sheltered kid SUPPOSED to do back. i wasn't taught shit #people in their fucking 20's were trauma dumping to me in dms and sadly still go to me when they catch wind of this person- #'i need support' you need to get offline. please. just block and ignore. i'm tired. #i should not have had to be babysitting adults and older teens when i didn't know what half those words were at the time. #months ago i did something stupid when i was at my limit and mirrored the pettiness i saw. i was told i would drive someone to suicide. #over saying the person was a bit mean and bringing up some posts i thought they made #i did apologise when i got it wrong. but got threatened with the person possibly killing themselves in my inbox. #this person and the pr*ship person were famously at eachothers' throats #i do not stand by the pr*ship persons' actions. their opinions on the other person were honestly right though. the only thing i agree with. #once again i complain about proshits and gatekeeps. the two are almost as bad as eachother to me #or at least two awful sides that have affected me and my ability to make friends online. #so that's what this remined me of.

[neurotypical-sonic]

thinking about bpd amy

#scenario in my head of amy splitting on sonic and its really bad #its before she was diagnosed and shes full just so much hurt and rage and hate thats its PAINFUL and she doesnt know WHY #and sonic doesnt know what the fuck hes done wrong to make her act like this to him and its. yeah. its not good #after shes diagnosed shes so scared to tell her friends because she thinks having bpd makes her a bad person and theyll all hate her #and leave her #which makes it worse sjdjdjd but she eventually does tell them and it goes okay!! #sonics like 'i have no idea what that is so nice ig?? or sorry that happened??' shdjdn #but they all understand it better and shes better at coping with it and recognising when she needs to leave until she calms down #shes on mood stabilisers now 💗 #her relationships with her friends become more stable and healthy especially with sonic theyre FRIENDS now!! #she takes responsibility for her past action and apologises and explains why she was like that and why she is the way she is now #he accepts her apology and they work on becoming better friends and how to support each other better #im just!! EMOTIONAL!!!!! #egg.txt #amy #sonicposting #bpd #neurodiversity

[a-hackneyed-premise]

Apparently I thought making a start on a new WIP and working on it solidly for 3 hours was more sensible than going to bed 🤷‍♀️

#lost #lost fanart #james sawyer ford #juliet burke #suliet #stuff i draw #artists on tumblr #god it's nice to have an actual canon kiss to draw #can you imagine what I'd have been like if there was a canon hellcheer kiss? #what i will be like when caryl finally get together? #i will be insufferable #and i apologise in advance for the person i will become

[georgiacooked]

I love your doctor who art and I am loving the dracula daily sketches so much

Thank you so much! <33

#Not art #The two flavours of this blog #I have a Big Finish audio coming out in December #so I apologise for the DW person I will become as SOON as Dracula finishes

[heartoferebor]

I've been waiting for you to emerge from TLOU watch, tell me did you enjoy it?

I am, like, sooooooo normal about this show. Totally not going insane at all. Nu-uh.

(The casting is perfect! For once, everyone actually looks their age and like they've been living in that world! So many scenes were lifted DIRECTLY from the games! All the extra scenes they added worked really really well! THAT FINAL SHOT WITH THE CLICKER SENT ME STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN. Also, apparently, even if you know nothing about the games at all it's a fantastic watch, according to my friend.

Only tiny critique I have is that I still would've preferred if they'd kept the spores. It makes for such a great atmosphere)

#i have scheduled so many posts since i didn't want to spam last night lmaoooo #listen i DID apologise for the person i was going to become in advance! no regrets! #TLOU #TLOU HBO #TLOU spoilers

[spoopy-fish-writes]

"I've never seen him look at anyone so tenderly."

"Ever?"

"Ever."

Click for HQ. Do not repost or claim. Only reblog 💜

#I hope you all know that this little twit is the reason that I have been able to get nothing done at all. All my brain has been able to #do since finding out about his route release is aggressively point at him with glowing and flashing lights #i will never be normal about him and i dont want to be #the vibrating in blorbo thoughts while i was trying to draw him i could do without tho #ikepri #ikemen prince #ikepri clavis #clavis lelouch #ikepri fanart #ikemen prince clavis #ikemen prince fanart #i dont apologise for the person I am going to become when I dont have to translate ever panel of his route to be able to read it #thank you and goodnight

[elusiveink]

how do people assert boundaries without blowing up. how do people cut toxic friends off without sinking to their level.

#like fr i had a massive fight w a guy #claimed to my friend would repeatedly touch and kiss me after id said no and pushed him away #finally put my foot down #unfortunately did that in the worst way at the worst time possible #and so have become the bad guy #but like im not apologising bc quite frankly my safety comes first. and he repeatedly established he was not a safe person #vent #just bpd things 🙃

[drk-of-light]

Some dude has been stalking me and block evading me by making new accts on furaffinity for the past year and ive reported him SO MANY TIMES and nothing changes :/ always comes back within a few months. Im fucking exhausted man.

#sebby rambles #im literally so tired of this #im very close to quitting FA entirely at this point #after he was reported and blocked MANY TIMES #he still came back and tried to pretend to be a new person asking to color my art #first interaction this dude gave to me was him commenting that my art Could Be Better but was good for an amateur #so i just blocked him duh what an asshole thing to say #and now hes become obsessed with trying to apologise to me and shit #last time he tried to msg me he was blaming his behavior on... his physical disability and autism ??? #boy im neurodivergent and have tons of ND friends and it doesnt make them act like this #like at this point idc if he sees my art cause FA blocking doesnt hide ur profile from anyone #but i dont want to be aware hes there! dont comment or like my shit.

[stupidneko]

me when

me when vash stampede and millions knives

#neko's shit post #i apologise for the person i have become

[oatbugs]

listening to music on blast removing my own sutures x

#vibez tbh #anyway . i have my medical tape off rn bc i just took a shower #will remove this thing then put it back on . but anyway slightly sinking in. had a what have i done what have i #become kind of moment . like i am no longer in pain so i can think now . i cant feel my nose or my thighs or my jaw properly #looked at my face and i was like oh . ok. got held up at iran passport security started saying my prayers #and they were like we dont think you are the person in your passport. and i had to show them evidence etc like #yeah i literally am unrecognisable as a person actually. same w the UK e-gates #i have someone else hair laser glued onto mine. i have a part of my body #grafted onto another part of my body. i had my nose broken and restructured. #i had half of my corneal tissue removed to see better. on their own these are all minor #but altogether at the same time i look. different. #it's so fascinating. interesting . etc. like genuinely what the fuck #to wake up and just look like a completely different person . knowing you have been rearranged and subtracted from and added to. #i feel like an art project. i feel like art. i feel like a monster. i feel fascinated. #i feel fascinating. #still have 8 lives left its alright . #when i had femto lasik done (which is supposed to be pretty much painless) i experienced the worst pain of my life #this is because i forgot to tell them about the grafting under my eyes and because there were two initially imperceptible wounds/scars #in both of my eyes. i felt the heat and pressure inside my eyes and i felt them cutting into #infinitely small points of pain. my head felt warm and my eyes were melting. my doctor apologised for not seeing them before #and he told me to focus on the green light in the middle of the red and i did . and they spread into a thousand stars #and i kept repeating to myself JUST GREEN NOTHING ELSE JUST THE GREEN NOTHING ELSE until it was over #i spent the next day in agony despite the pressure lenses and the apologies #but that constellation of green and red overlayed on nothingness #and patterns generated by blood vessels and lasers #was one of the most beautiful things i have ever seen to this day. #maybe the most beautiful thing . i dont know.

[ace-attorney-pride-flags]

[ID: two nonbinary flags colour picked from Shi Long Lang from Ace Attorney. The first flag is only the colour picked flag and the second flag has an official art of Lang overlayed on it. End ID]

someone give that wolf a banana

#shi long lang #nonbinary #i refuse to apologise for the person i have become. it's eurovision week #ace attorney