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#i will not have you disrespect hermitcraft on this planet
lunarblazes · 3 years
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i saw a post that was like “people are like ‘mcyt fans dni’ mumbo jumbo may be a redstone man but he doesn’t do witchcraft” and i just wanna say redstone is definitely witchcraft and if you understand any of it i hate you /j /lh
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jtangerine · 4 years
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Convex Grunt
@martuzzio has this awesome hermitcraft space outlaws au that I highly suggest you guys check out. And when a Convex grunt was mention I knew I had to right something. This is just scene that I immediately saw in my head. And please keep in mind that English isn’t my first language and I’m still very new to writing, so if you have any tips or suggestions to improve this please tell me :) Also the Convex grunt design in this is based off of @side-of-art‘s there are also a lot of scenes in here inspire by other people.
Enjoy
SV-L67’s head pounded and he couldn’t seem to feel his body. His mouth felt like a desert and his heart beat in erratic patterns. He blindly reached towards his leg holster for his blaster, only to find nothing there. SV-L67’s brows furrowed and his lips pulled downwards into a frown, as he reached towards where his weapon should’ve been once again, a light flicked on above him and he blinked rapidly against the harsh brightness.
The scene above him slowly rendered into focus and SV-L67 couldn’t help but feel like his eyes are deceiving him when a female with eyes so brown they reminded him of his planet’s soil stared down at him from above. When the female blinks and the corners of her mouth turns upwards in a small grin, SV-L67 felt his heart leap up into his throat and he leaped off the bed so fast he almost collided with the female. A thousand questions whirled around his head as SV-L67 pushed himself against the wall of the room.
SV-L67’s eyes darted desperately over every inch of the room searching for an escape. In the center of the room stood a bed surrounded by various medical equipments and machines. From the other side of the room, the female regarded him with a look of great caution, her brown locks flowed down to right below her ears and a tight frowned replaced the smile that she previously wore. Her hands were raised in front of her as if she was talking to a scared animal. SV-L67 felt his heart jump again as two figures appeared behind her. They stood behind the only window in the entire room. The male on the left hid a fierce scowl behind his bushy beard. His crystal-like eyepatch glistened under the artificial light and his prosthetic and organic fists were both clenched at his sides. The male on the right had a much more neutral expression set on his face. His lavender skin was marked with scars. A nasal cannula stretched across his face and his gleaming purple eyes promised pain if SV-L67 even thought about harming the female in front of him.
SV-L67 felt his eyes widen and his breath hitch as his mind screeched to a halt, there was only one person in the universe that had such a distinct appearance as the man on the right, and that person is Xisumavoid, the legendary leader of the Hermits. Which meant that- he once again inspected the other two beings in his line of sight -the other male was Iskall, and the female must be Stress.
SV-L67 shifted into a defensive position as Stress crept towards him. He held his hands out in a warning but she still continued to get creep closer.
SV-L67’s tail lashed against the wall and he hissed, his golden eyes narrowing in anger.  
“What do you want?” He hissed with a lung rattling wheeze.
Stress stopped in her tracks, and behind her slightly crouched frame, SV-L67 could see Xisumavoid and Iskall seemingly communicating with their eyes. The two males locked gazes for a few more moments before the mercenary begrudgingly left.
SV-L67’s attention was once again drawn back towards Stress as the medic murmured in a tentative voice,
“You were injured during the Convex invasion.”
And with that one sentence, SV-L67 felt everything slam into him like a smack to the face. The Convex had planned this invasion for months on end. They thought that they had everything planned out, every single step was laid out in meticulous detail. They thought that they would be able to end this criminal organization once and for all.
SV-L67 only had short flashes of the actual battle, but based on the position he was in right now, SV-L67 could guess that it didn’t turn out too well.
“We just want to help.” Stress said, shaking SV-L67 out of his thoughts, “how are you feeling?”
SV-L67’s eyes darted between the cold-gazed admin and the healer, his mind jumping from one thought to another.
“Numb.” He answered hesitantly, his voice weak with a dry hack.
Stress’s form relaxed, she sighed and her eyes twinkled in pride, “that means the medicine is working.” She told him.
Another form appeared next to Xisumavoid, a female with long locks of blonde hair and eyes as blue as the ocean. She was holding something in her hand with a grip so tight SV-L67 worried that it was going to shatter. He assumed that this was FalseSymmetry, the merciless fighter.
A hidden door opened, revealing a long hallway, and the admin finally spoke up.
“Follow us.” He said, and SV-L67 couldn’t help but be surprised at the youth in his voice. SV-L67 stood up straighter and hesitantly shuffled towards him
As he reached the doorway, FalseSymmetry held the item in her hand towards him, it was cup filled with pinkish liquid. SV-L67 tentatively reached for the cup, and he glanced towards the fighter as he wrapped his paws around the cup.
“Drink it.” FalseSymmetry commanded, her eyes set in a dark glare.
SV-L67 gulped nervously and pulled the drink towards his body. He might me one of the dumber ones from his squad, be even he knew that it’s never a good idea to drink something the enemy offers.
“Don’t worry love,” a soft voice said from behind him, “it’s a healing potion, it’ll help you.”
Despite the healer’s reassurance, SV-L67 still felt iffy about the so-called potion, but he also knew that Stress took the Hippocratic Oath. So with a pounding heart, SV-L67  downed the drink in one go. To his surprise, the taste was amazing, and instantly SV-L67 could feel the strength return to his body and his horribly dry throat slowly recover.
FalseSymmetry and Xisumavoid stepped out of the room and into the wide hallway while Stress stayed behind.
SV-L67 blinked in surprise when neither of the Hermits made a move to restrain him, “your not going to tie me up?” He murmured in confusion.
“Not unless your into that kinda stuff.” Said a more than friendly voice from behind him. SV-L67 jumped in surprised and whirled around to see a male with the fluffiest blonde hair he’s ever seen. He concluded that this must be Zedaph.
“Zedaph,” Xisumavoid said in a irked tone, “I thought I told everyone to stay away from this room.”
The human-sheep alien raised his hands in a sheepish surrender, “I know, I know. But Mumbo wanted me get a book from his room.”
FalseSymmetry rubbed her temples in irritation and Xisumavoid just sighed.
“Fine.” The admin said in exasperation.
SV-L67 looked at him in amazement, he was just going to let his crew blatantly disrespect him like that? He didn’t have a lot of time to ponder this mysterious friendliness as the moment Zedaph disappeared around a corner, the admin and the fighter continued down the hallway.
A few moments of silence that were only broken by sound of muffled footsteps on carpet passed before the trio stopped in front of a large doorway. FalseSymmetry and Xisumavoid shared a look.
“We are about the enter the common area of the ship,” the admin said without glancing back, “and I will have to warn you, things might get a bit...chaotic, for lack of a better word.”
“And if you even think about hurting anyone, I will attack you without hesitation.” FalseSymmetry added.
SV-L67 gulped in fear, he likes to consider himself as a decent fighter, but against FalseSymmetry, he knew he stood no chance. So SV-L67 just straitened his posture and nodded meekly as he tried to mentally prepare himself for what was to come.
As the large doors slowly crept open, SV-L67’s imagination ran wild. What will this large and mysterious doorway reveal? Rows upon rows of torture machines? Or the other hermits just waiting for the moment to attack him? Luckily, the admin didn’t give him too much time to browse through all of these thoughts.
The first thought of SV-L67 when the doors finally revealed the common room, as Xisumavoid called it, was that the admin was dead wrong about how it would only be a bit chaotic. The best SV-L67 could describe it is that is was complete and total anarchy.
A man with prosthetic legs and gruesome scars sat crisscrossed on the floor with a kitten napping in his lap, he was engrossed in a conversation with a man in scientist robes and a bushy graying beard. SV-L67 immediately recognized these two as GoodTimesWithScar and Cubfan. These two ex-convexes were legendary in their escape. And SV-L67 felt anger course through him, who did they think they were? To just leave such a pristine group like the Convex for a group of criminals. Almost as if the two ex-convexes could feel his stare on their backs, they turned towards him with a glare. If looks could kill, SV-L67 would already be six feet underground. The only thing stopping SV-L67 from bolting was the slight fear that ever so slightly bled through their eyes.
Next up was a mustached man that SV-L67 recognized as Mumbo Jumbo. As SV-L67 spotted the redstone genius’s right hand that was currently hidden in a sling, he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. And when Iskall shot him a death glare, SV-L67 felt himself shiver under the tight scrutiny.
When his eyes glanced towards the next group of hermits, he couldn’t help but do a massive retake. Three hermits seemed to be locked in a deadly battle of a...pillow fight? A male with flaming hair and blood red eyes (Tango, SV-L67 presumed) stood on a table and desperately tried to knock the other two hermits down as attempted to push him over. A brown-haired hermit, Impulse, slapped Tango in the face with a throw-pillow, only to curse loudly as the pillow catches on fire. Another hermit, with dirty-blonde hair and petite wings (this was probably the newest hermit, Grian) attempted to sneak up on the demon, but immediately blew his cover with loud laughter as Impulse shouted crude curses at the still flaming pillow.
A howl of laughter brought his attention towards four other figures standing near the middle of the room. A slime-like figure, Jevin, was altering his head to look like, various different shapes and appearances. And two other hermits, one with dark brown hair and a bandana tied around his forehead (Hypno), and the other with black hair and a terrifying grin that literally stretched across his whole face (one look at his more-than-average sized mouth, SV-L67 knew that this was Keralis, the absolutely terrifying banshee), were doubled over with gleeful chuckles and giggles. Behind them stood an ancient looking hermit, probably TFC as he is the second oldest of the crew, tries his best to hid his snickers behind his hands.
From the corner of the room, two hermits surveyed the room with grins on their faces and a slight giggle escaping here and there, the male seemed to blink in and out of existence. Next to him stood a greenish girl who had half her skin missing from her face, revealing the bones underneath. SV-L67 noted that these two were probably Joe Hills and ZombieCleo
Xisumavoid continued to walk forwards, pausing only to check that SV-L67 was still following. As they passed by the various hermits, SV-L67 noticed that FalseSymmetry stopped and joined Iskall and Mumbo Jumbo.
Chaos continued to rage as SV-L67 and Xisumavoid neared the exit, and SV-L67 can’t help feel bewildered by this whole situation. These were not the cold-blooded murders and criminals the Convex had told him about. And he was even more shocked by Xisumavoid’s tolerance, what type of leader let’s his followers openly mess around like a bunch of children!?
The admin lead him out of the common room and around a corner to reveal a room that SV-L67 assumed he would be staying in. There were two windows, one that would allow anyone passing by to peek in, and the other peers into the great expanse of empty space. A single mattress with a pillow and a blanket lay in the far right corner. On the left wall was a bookshelf filled to the brim with books in different languages and from different cultures.
SV-L67 was stunned by this hospitality, and when Xisumavoid moved aside to let him enter, he couldn’t help but ogle the room with wide eyes. This was even better than his quarters aboard the Convex.
“This will be your room.” The admin said from behind him, “if you put any amount of force against the walls, we will know, so don’t even think about escaping.”
SV-L67 nodded, his brain still struggling to catch up with the amount of generosity this crew has shown him.
While he continued to gawk at the room, Xisumavoid studied him from his place at the doorway. A few silent moments passed before the admin spoke again.
“What’s your name?” He asked.
SV-L67 considered how he should answer this question. The Convex always told him that he should never reveal any information, but he doubted a name could really make a difference, so with a slight hesitation, “SV-L67.” He answered.
To his confusion, the admin clenched his jaw and scowled, did he do something wrong?
“You’re a person, not a number.” He sneered, “I meant your real name, the one you were born with.”
SV-L67 felt his mouth gape open. No, this was definitely not the cold-blooded ruler that the Convex depicted.
“Uh...Lan.” He said, the word foreign against his tongue.
Xisumavoid mouthed it and nodded to himself, “Call me X.” He said, bearing a soft smile.
And as the admin backed out of the room and closed the hidden door behind him,
SV-L67 Lan felt the doubts he had pushed down years ago resurface.
What if...what if the Convex was wrong?
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