#i will own up to both

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[inkskinned]

did you really let them ruin that for you?

when i was younger i worked on a farm for 3 years. during late july and august we would have unfettered access to the strawberry plots. they were all warm and ripe and fresh. i think i ate a pound of dirt back then. i think i picked enough seeds out of my teeth to build a temple. the summer hours are long; i'd come home with the bruising stain of juice running in a seam along my cheeks and fingers and jaw.

why didn't you protect your precious things from other people? you knew this could happen.

i can't eat strawberries from the store anymore, they don't taste right. something about the florescent lights and the chill of them and the way they are absent from the vine. they feel bleached and bland, a wasted party dress. i watch other people eat strawberries and miss enjoying them. none of the store-bought strawberries will have mold or bugs, okay. they will be big and bright red and perfectly shaped. but they are not the ugly and real strawberries of my summer, awarded by the soil and the hot sun up ahead and hours spent crouched, plucking.

i didn't mean to let it get ruined. i wish it hadn't been. i miss having it. but i came back to it afterward and it just wasn't the same as it had been. i know love is never wasted. but it feels like - love did this. it's not that i never loved it, you know? it's that i did.

#writeblr #this is both about strawberries #and also not about strawberries #i love that other ppl love strawberries but i legit got spoiled out of loving them #warm up #i doonnnt . like this #me every time i post a warm up: im legit just doin this to warm up so i write at least like a few times a week. but also. ew. #the ppl in the notes: raquel if u don't stop hating ur own work i'll actually kill u #(ty ty ty ty ty ty . literally wouldn't write without u)

[turtleblogatlast]

AU where Leo is trapped in the Prison Dimension for months instead of minutes and the only way he gets by with his sanity intact is through recording himself talking to his wrist comm.

When they finally manage to get Leo back and make him rest up to heal, Donnie can’t help but listen to the recordings left behind.

He’s not sure what exactly he’s expecting, only that his subconscious is screaming at him that it has to be heartbreaking, that it has to be torturous.

Instead, what Donnie is subject to is a full thousand hours’ worth of Jupiter Jim and Lou Jitsu crossover fanfiction. More than one part in the series. Spanning well over a million words.

(The worst part is that it’s actually good.)

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #donnie keeps the comms going on in the background as he works #when he gets to the end he’s like what the hell…where’s the rest #donnie: leo where’s part nine #leo barely cognizant after not needing sleep for months: whuh- #donnie: you can’t leave it at a cliffhanger. leo. leo where’s the next part. #listen leo has a great memory for his special interests this is CANON plus he’s a great talker so he would totally be able to do this frfr #whenever he needs to be quiet he’s SILENT but otherwise he’s regaling the exploits of his idols to the captive audience that is The Photo #sometimes Krang sneaks up on him and just listens to him talk like ???? #it starts both as leo trying to comfort himself with his favorite things PLUS comfort himself with thoughts of his father #as splinter makes his own crossover fanfiction when sick lol plus he’s Literally Lou Jitsu #and yes krang ALSO gets a bit invested #leo notices the reduction of Ouch but hey more time for rambling fanfic for him 👍 #idk leo’s a damn good actor/liar/planner/schemer and I genuinely think that can pivot into storytelling so well #the literal second mikey’s hands heal donnie zooms to his side with hand stabilizers and a request to draw ‘scene 82 from recording 3’ #mikey’s like what #so obvs now HE needs to listen as he works #he too gets invested #he comes across raph who mentions having trouble sleeping #mikey: have I got the podcast fanfic for you! #it only somewhat helps raph sleep #somewhat bc sometimes he forces himself to stay awake to hear the rest #yes these recordings go to the whole fam and leo is none the wiser #they don’t even mean to hide it it just never comes up lol #it’s only when donnie FINALLY makes it to the end of the recordings that he confronts leo to continue the story #leo: oH YOU HEARD ALL THAT HUH-

[ruporas]

in a mood (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #doing straight up nothing with the bestie. really good activity of doing nothing #i mainly drew this just so i can test how itd be not drawing their faces bc i Love drawing their faces a little too much. #maybe ill throw them in a more intense situation next time i try it bc it just ended up focusing on wolfwood and his silly newspaper #he's reading the news... cruel happenings all around no mans land... have to keep up to know where to go next and where to avoid #but theres also some guy in the same room being distracting as hell. i think they can coexist without bothering each other but theyd #be so painfully aware of the other person... both of them usually have tended to their own space after all for years. ww especially i think #would be easily distracted with vash's presence bc he's spent 2 years thinking about him already (for his mission...) #and thinking about vash is a Little easier than dealing with his personal anguish #though it can definitely overlap too. and sometimes its not that bad. sometimes its just vash's hand feeling unexpectedly nice and gentle #ruporas art

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Let the revenge games begin.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #nie huaisang #He's gonna call his 5 horse friends up. They have to go on a 14 year long journey to finish the job but by god they will do it. #The sheer chaos in the Audio Drama is really fantastic. Reminds me of those traincar murder mysteries. #The lights go off and there's a scream and then BOOM dead body. Who did that!!! #Okay it was qi deviation and he did it to stop himself from killing his brother. He did it to himself. #JGY sadly has the worst alibi ever though. Both the strongest motivation and also uhhh presence at the scene. #Not to nitpick but as someone who loves murder mysteries - I do feel like even *one* other suspect would have made it stronger. #I get that he tried to make it look like an inevitable Qi Deviation and that it *is* something within the family legacy. #And a big part of NHS figuring it all out comes down to his own perceptiveness and intelligence. #If you weren't close enough to JGY and NMJ of course it looks like an accident. #Sadly 'guy who plays the 'poor little meow meow card'' is also weak to 'guy who plays the 'poor little meow meow card''. #NHS was the better subtle manipulator at the end. That's probably the strongest mystery part of MDZS. And why he's in my top 5. #My man pulled the 'kill him just as he falls from the top of his game and loses everything' gambit and I love him for it.

[gummi-ships]

#kingdom hearts dream drop distance #khddd #sora #riku #nightmare's end #mirage split #my gif #i was going to write up a whole thing in the tags about my thoughts on this keyblade #but i just know it'll be an incoherent essay because i can't properly articulate my thoughts #the x-blade must be forged through a clash of light and darkness #but i find it so highly significant that sora and riku can create their own keyblade which is so unheard of #this keyblade isn't created with a clash but rather through harmony and balance #not with conflict but with understanding and connection and love #and i always felt as though that's how the x-blade SHOULD be forged. that master xehanort went about it all wrong #because balance and connections are such important themes in these games #it has two handles and looks so regal when combined. all of the shapes feel reminiscent of the x-blade too #it shines so brilliantly with both sora and riku's symbols. the heart and crown which is the iconic logo for the entire series #also the way stained glass is always used to represent hearts. it's so significant! #and yeah the paupu fruit keychain is its own thing to unpack #okay so i ended up writing something anyway but there's still so much more #i just really hope we get to see more of this in future games because it would be shocking if it was nothing more than a cool combo attack

[somnimagus]

My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!

[id in alt!]

#kingdom hearts #kh #kh kairi #kh xion #kh namine #i don't really feel proud of my own stuff usually but #i really think this is the drawing i'm most proud of from this past year!! it made me think 'oh maybe i can draw' haha #i'm still kinda bad with colors but something clicked with this one. and i feel like i got the sentimental feeling i wanted! #ooh but this project's about flower symbolism so ramble incoming: #protea symbolizes resilience transformation and diversity; hollyhock means 'please remember me.' #so my general theme was finding a sense of self. #these 3 have struggled with finding their own identity; they tend to get left behind both in-universe and in general plotwise #and naminé and xion both resemble kairi and were overshadowed by her memory. but i feel like all 3 have transformed into their own people #xion and naminé have their faces covered partially by hollyhock to show their wish to be remembered for who they are- #instead of the parts that they share with someone else #and the protea bouquets show how they each held on and resiliently grew into their own person despite it all #i put a little swervy path on the hill behind kairi to give that hopeful sense of growth and moving forward. it's a little hard to see #hopefully that makes sense! i really love symbolism but i think in visuals so i'm really bad with words #but gosh working with everyone on this project was so fun. it was like impossible not to get swept up by the team's hype for this zine #i need to hunt down everybody's work and rb it #ohh and everybody's flowers are so crisply drawn it's insane!! i think if i lined all these flowers and leaves i'd die haha #fan art #my art #project stuff

[twinstxrs]

sam nightingale fabian seacaster deeply tethered in the sense that whenever zelda & gorgug broke up i think they both were very emotionally supportive and there for their friend while also having clearly & openly thought the whole time that zelda/gorgug could’ve done better. also they’re both rich popular bards with talking vehicles who got left alone in their big house at the beginning of a school year so there’s that.

#fabian seacaster #sam nightingale #fantasy high #the seven #dimension 20 #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #d20 the seven #thistlecaster #bc duh #idk what the samzelda ship name is tho #samzelda #the seven is so fun bc truly every day i wake up & am like ‘samzelda? samantiope? antioyelle? who knows’ #katja & ostentatia ARE soulmates though so mark that down #need to do a rewatch at some point it was so good & fun & i love women! i love women! in both a gay & feminist way! #anyways #sam fabian bitchy bisexual solidarity & hostility. To Me #wait also. non biological mothers rebecca & cathilda who both lost their own kids and are trying their best to take care of these ones…

[nelkcats]

Parent's Day

Ghosts didn't have a father's or mother's day as such, but they did have a day where they combined both. A day to celebrate your guardians. Humans, Yetis, Amazons or Gods, it was a quiet day to thank them for your ghost adoption.

Dan and Ellie had spent a few years under the halfa's care but at the end of the day they considered him their guardian (although Dan did it reluctantly), so when they heard about Parent's Day they panicked.

They wanted to show Danny that they really appreciated him but a mug or coupons were not enough. In the end after some brainstorming they decided to give him the closest thing to a mug that was in the Realms: Constantine's complete soul.

John Contantine was a very annoying human, they knew this because they heard Danny complain about his paperwork many times. Apparently their father had 99% of his soul but couldn't do anything until he had 100%, and what better gift than to help him get rid of the paperwork? He hated paperwork! It was perfect!

With some help from Clockwork they traveled to DC's dimension, determined to take the last of the hellblazer's soul. Dan wondered if he should steal a star from the dimension while they were there (Danny liked space didn't he?), as an extra gift.

John Constantine was in the middle of explaining the holes in reality to the Justice League when a shiver ran through his body. He had an instant bad feeling.

#dpxdc #Parent's Day #ghosts are not distinguished by gender and half of them are not human so they have a day to celebrate their guardians in general #ghosts like to adopt younger ghosts to guide them #they usually don't have children of their own #The idea of ​​Dan and Ellie sounds weird but you have to remember that they are children #Regardless of their outward appearance #they are both young #and they only want to take away from Danny what bothers him as a gift #I like to think that Dan was “born” by combining both cores #he's not Danny but he retained most of his negative emotions and memories #dp x dc #dc x dp #Constantine will have a long day #but he asked for it after selling his soul 50 times #Dan and Ellie googled “best gift” but only mugs coupons and flowers came up #Dan doesn't know if it's possible to steal stars but he will make it possible #ghost king danny

[starflungwaddledee]

some rather strong first impressions were made.

required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !

#did i need to do a 9 page comic for this... well who knows. i had this scene in mind for a long time and wanted to do it justice! #important moment for both of them. you can see starstruck just generating the bandee shaped mental illness in real time. #and bandee resolving to be her point of contact with waddle dees if the others can't handle it #he is after all; the strongest and the bravest and the best of them. #“what is this signature like” it's like meeting something that has a human face but you can tell it is Not Human. think: uncanny valley #it also took her quite some time to pick up her own voice. she could not speak (popstarian) on her own for a while #she does not mimic anymore though if she can help it because it tends to weird others out and she wants to avoid that!! #it's not like a fun or enjoyable impersonation; it's like a perfect recording on a device. #also i guess this is *finally* the reveal of the 'hospital' mentioned previously that folks noticed and also like... her name 😂 #anyway.... thank you to everyone who voted for starstruck in that poll and has encouraged this insane self indulgence... wow. #never thought i'd get to draw stuff like this and have others look forward to it. i really hope you'll enjoy this!!! #my art #my comics #starstruck dee #bandana waddle dee

[alevens]

zolu is maybe one of the easiest ships i've ever liked. they're dating, except when they're not, they're best friends even when they're kissing and they're still captain and first mate when they aren't. they hold hands, they hug. they have sex. they don't.

Luffy can hold Zoro's katanas and Zoro can hold Luffy's strawhat and no one bats an eye. one says "You're so cool!" and the other says "You're strong" and it's just another way to say "I see you, this is why I follow you/this is why I trust you". it's not seeing each other for a long time and still knowing how the other's steps sound like against wood and sand. the captain runs and the first mate follows. it's always "Zoro and the others" and "Where's Luffy?"

if they're just friends, if they're something more, if they don't have a label for it, at its core, it's just about how they get each other. they understand how the other's mind works. however you view them, it doesn't erase they fact that they love each other in a way they don't love other people.

#zolu #on why i love zolu #seeing the hate its gotten on its own tag #i figured i'd put it on my two cents #i am aroace and i do hc Luffy as aroace #the same for Zoro if i'm honest #but the thing about this hc is that not only it isn't canon #but is an actual spectrum #what really made me pause was that the argument was that zolu was an “icky” ship bc of how they viewed Luffy as aroace #i would have prefered they just said they hate the ship #it makes sense as i do too hate ships without reason sometimes #but it was how they seemed to view aromatic/asexual people that fucked me up #both orientations are spectrums #the way i see it and experience it isn't the same other people do #giving this label and then saying it only woks on one way is disrespectful to the many people that fall under this umbrella #it isn't as simple as saying “aromantic folks can't experience love” and “yeah ace folks all find sex disgusting” #everyone is different everyone has different views and it's about finding what fits *you* personally! #sorry for the rant on tags i just wanted to get it off my chest #i've seen more people explain it better and break it down more coherently #and i'm so so glad to see so many big brained people ready to communicate on why that take just wasn't it #one piece

[stellanix]

(genshin impact spoilers incoming)

one aspect of furina's characterization that's pretty understated but that i really really really love is her intelligence and curiosity. usually in genshin, when a character's intelligence is an important trait of theirs, there are aspects of their design, writing, voice acting, etc, that very clearly tell you "hey this character is smart." albedo, for example, wears a labcoat, is always saying big sciency words in a calm, rational tone of voice, and other characters are always talking about how smart he is

but furina? nothing about her on the surface suggests that she's a "smart" character - quite the opposite, in fact. superficially, she's introduced as a bratty, conceited, overconfident person who actually has no idea what she's doing. we eventually learn in the archon quest that that was all an act, but even after she regains her freedom, nothing about her really seems archetypically intelligent, at least at face value

instead, furina's intelligence is always shown rather than told (the only exception being nahida's voiceline about her). she had an intelligence network across teyvat feeding her information, and we saw in the flashback how she directed researchers to study the prophecy and potential ways of stopping it. before things like lyney's trial or directing the two musketeers, she'd stay up all night planning and piecing things together all on her own. she loves learning new things, she has lines in the teapot about how, when she's interested in something, she wants to become the most knowledgeable person in the topic, and also how she'd like to disassemble the teapot itself to learn how it works, and she's quick to learn new skills (like surfing). and, of course, she's well read, and quite possibly teyvat's foremost expert on the performing arts

i like how furina sort of defies the concept of character archetypes. she's initially presented as an archetypical bratty, dramatic, spoiled popular girl, but that was a role she forced herself into because it's what people expected of her. but the real furina, while still retaining some of the flamboyance from her archon persona, doesn't really fit into a clear mold. she's smart without being a super-genius, and she's kind without being a soft-spoken doormat. it makes her feel multifaceted and real, and i really love that!

anyway, this is why it makes me mad whenever i see people calling furina stupid, cuz she's not!

#furina #genshin impact #don't mind me just rambling about my blorbo #tbh given her love of learning and how old she is i imagine furina could her own against zhongli in a quaint trivia contest #furina's true traits being shown rather than told is both great storytelling but also kinda frustrating because some people miss it #and end up mischaracterizing her as a result #but then again some people will also ignore character traits that are explicitly told so it's maybe not the writing that's at fault here

[yardsards]

do people who have listened to taz balance but not graduation Know that it was HEAVILY IMPLIED that lup and barry eventually adopted a lil sorcerer child who got disowned by his family for his natural necromancy magic, and they taught him how to use his powers for good and were overall great parents that he looks back on fondly

(and said child grew up to be a dimension-hopping lich, caretaker of the dead, and very sweet adoptive father of a major npc)

#eliot posts #taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #taz graduation #lup taaco #barry bluejeans #blupjeans #like they never specifically say ''my parents are barry and lup'' so it's left up to interpretation but #he says he came from another world other than nua (nua is the name of the grad world like faerun is the balance world) #he says both his parents were highly skilled necromancers that ''travelled'' a lot because of their work #he says that inter-planar travel runs in the family #and he likes to bake #also travis apparently said on a livestrean that he got something carved by magnus for his daughter #it's a fun little easter egg for balance enjoyers but kept vague enough where it's like. you don't have to know about balance to enjoy it #anyway tho it's adorable cuz he talks about how much of a positive impact his parents made on him #and how he wanted to emulate them when raising his own daughter #and he's a good dad and his daughter loves him (also she is an absolute delight i love her #and like the only older adult to look at our college-aged protagonists and be like #''yeah it's messed up that you have to deal with all of this you're so young you're the same age as my child i will help however i can'' #like balance easter egg aside gordy is one of my fav graduation npcs (behind his daughter rainer who is my fav)

[stairset]

I do feel like the way Kyoshi was written in the Avatar reboot was lowkey influenced by the fandom's perception of her. Cause like in the original show she's really just portrayed as a pragmatist who's willing to kill if necessary. Like Aang is conflicted about killing the Fire Lord and she's like "well if I were in your position I'd do it but that's just me. Good luck." And then people started making memes where she's like a murderous psychopath who thinks extreme violence is always the solution. And it was funny at first cause it was just exaggerating for comedy but now everyone thinks she was actually like that in the show when she really wasn't. And then in the remake her introductory scene is her angrily yelling at this 12 year old that he needs to stop being a little pussy and be a ruthless warrior or whatever and the only explanation I can think of is that someone in the writer's room maybe looked at a few too many of those memes.

#she had an awesome fight scene though so there's that #disclaimer i own both the kyoshi books but haven't actually read them yet #so this is just going off how she was written in the original show #i'm working my way through all my books that i haven't read yet so i'll get to the avatar novels soon #but i gotta get through a couple more star wars books first lol #but yeah you know those spider-verse memes #where they take the scene where jefferson says ''spider-man why did you create that guy'' #and they replace it with some funny dark shit like ''spider-man kill him and his family'' or ''spider-man fuck this guy's ass'' #that's basically what people seem to think kyoshi is like #avatar the last airbender #avatar kyoshi #shut up tristan

[lucabyte]

Hmmm just gonna spit this headcanon out in text post form since A. I don't think I could exposit it well enough in image form and B. It's not actually textually/thematically substantiated and I don't like actually staking my stuff on just vibes alone*

But anyway. I'd say it's pretty evident that all the islanders forgot their names, right? King obviously. Because why the hell else would he do that, but also Siffrin No Middle Names No Last Name.

They're 'pretty sure' they've 'always' been 'Just Siffrin' 'as long as they can remember'. It's a pretty cruel twist of the knife to say that they don't even get to keep their birth name as a memento, which is why I'm saying as such.

My utterly unsubstantiated claim is I think it'd be cute to say that Sisyphus *is* the name Siffrin initially picked, assuming the myth of King Sisyphus is recontextualised as idk, just a play or something in the setting. But I like the idea of Siffrin going 'oh shit 🫵 he's just like me fr' at a tortured fictional character long before the irony kicks in.

As for how Sisyphus -> Siffrin. I think that chronic mumbler and emotional doormat Sif just did not correct people who misheard the name during their time travelling, and went through enough places with incompatible phonologies (pronounceable sounds in the language) without ever really writing it down that it just got kinda. Changed until it was unrecognisable, and Siffrin just went with it until the earlier pronunciations slipped out of their swiss-cheese brain. And they just kinda don't remember any of that.

Also, something something the horrid realisation that Siffrin also named themselves after a King. Just not as blatantly.

*(though I think there's something here about Siffrin, a guy from a belief system that seems to thoroughly disincentivise autonomy and self-motivated choice continuously having their hand forced to make changes/choices they don't want but have no choice but to... It's not solid enough to really back this up tbh, but it informs it.)

Anyway.

#theres also something one of my french-speaker friends said about siffrin's official pronounciation being the feminine way to pronounce -in? #which i dont know enough about to really corroborate and theyre busyyyy and havent started the game yet so i cant really ask #im sure someone else has already voiced this easy-to-come-up-with headcanon anyway but just in case nobody has i decided to post it #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #isat siffrin #isat loop #i also personally picture sif (and loop especially) being more hostile to the concept of changing themselves after The Encounter #both of them being big grudge-holders and that 'want' to control your own destiny being clearly against how they interpret the universe #as for whether they should be so hostile? probably not! but they appear to be anxious in fear of some kind of divine retribution should #they like. ever even dare to Want. and uh. well. that certainly went well for Loop. not sure they'd be gung-ho to do it again #so Loop being able to go 'oh well it wasn't my REAL name' as a salve for having to make a new identity AGAIN.... #while sif is explicitly clinging to it as an anchor for Who They Are If Nothing Else.. they can upset each other and also mirabelle i think #lucabytetalks

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Alternative form of 'Hitting Wangxian with a Catboyification beam'

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #I don't have much more of an explanation to this other than 'i was struck by the vision and needed to create it' #They are both catboy coded. To me. On slightly different alignments of catboy but still. #LWJ is catboy: Fussy + bites and WWX is catboy: Stinky #Neither of them take well to being moved from their nap spot. #I love reading lying on my stomach and my cat just loves it. Hates being moved. We are locked in combat post any cuddle sessions. #I am a cat lover. I love them. They are Rotten little Stinkers. I love them #LWJ is like. *the* definition of 'cat that only likes those its in a bonded pair with. #The kind of cat that screams if it sees any neighborhood cats wandering outside. #wwx is a 'outdoor cat that wandered inside and became domesticated but NOT owned' kinda guy. #he is a menace on the local bird population and the only reason he's not dad to all the kittens is that he got fixed young. #UNLESS: the golden core transfer here was the balls (?) Animal control took JCs balls and WWX gave his up (????) #((I Also Don't Know What I'm Saying))