#i will rant ab the things i listed for Hours

[raz-writes-the-thing]

A Very Bisexual Revelation (Supernatural One-Shot)

Dean Winchester x (cis) Masc!Reader / requests are open

Summary: Dean Winchester's never had trouble with the ladies, but this is brand new territory for him.

Fic type: fluff, super super smut-lite

A/N: this fic is inspired a lil by Welcome To Being a Girl by @negans-lucille-tblr - that fic did something to me for real it is so so so GOOD! Everyone should read it for sure

SPN: @wereallbrokenangels (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

Dean had always been confident with the ladies. Never had a problem getting them from the lockers to his and Sam’s motel room for that week, or from the bar to the backseat of the Impala. He’d never really been that worried about his sexuality because women saw his green eyes and charming smile and practically threw themselves at him.

But that wasn’t to say that he’d never been unappreciative of the male form either. No, he distinctly remembered looking a little too long at Kev Prentiss’ abs in high school, or thinking that John King’s hands were that pretty kind of veiny that girls kind of liked- and he liked it too, but he didn’t throw himself at men, and men didn’t throw themselves at him either.

Not to mention if Dean had stopped to think about his sexuality properly for more than twenty seconds he’d be fucking terrified of his father's reaction. So, he just went about his business, elbow-deep in pussy whenever he wanted. Honestly, knowing that he could go out and bed a happily consenting woman any time he wanted meant that he didn't really think about men all that much anyway.

And then he'd met you. Very manly, very masculine. Very obviously a guy with a guys', you know, equipment. The two of you had met on a hunt way back when and been each other's unofficial back-up rock ever since when either of you needed a hand.

You didn't see each other that often. Once a year if you were lucky (or unlucky- depending on how you looked at it). Twice if you were both hunting near each other and wanted a catch-up.

It had all started as an innocent friendship, but you weren't shy about your sexuality and interest in men (among other things sometimes) and it made Dean wonder. Particularly when he was drunk late at night crashing in a hotel while you snored in the bed next to his own, hand draped over the covers and so close to his own that if Dean really wanted to- he could reach out and touch you.

With every meeting, Dean wondered. At first, just about how you managed to make hunting look so good. It was no wonder monsters, women and other men threw themselves at you when you chucked a wink their way. Then, it was how gracefully you held a rifle, or swung an axe, or decapitated a nasty vampire.

Then it was how he liked the brush of his fingers over your stubble when you both roughed each other up playfully or the feel of your warm skin under his hands as he stitched you up, muscles tensing under the pinch and pull of his needle.

And finally, he realised, well- son of a fucking bitch, he was into you. Not, like, into the way you dressed or into the way you hunted. It finally clicked one Wednesday night after hearing your half-asleep voice on the phone ranting away about a hunt nearby that he was into you in a very I'd-like-to-get-handsy-with-you bisexual kind of way. It was a startling revolution for him, and, of course, he'd been with Sam and just blurted out the sentence- "son of a bitch- I wanna fuck him, don't I?" To which Sam had snorted half his beer down his front, slapped Dean in a comfortingly condescending way on the shoulder as if this wasn't news to him and left to find himself a clean shirt and give Dean some space to wrap that new little factoid around his brain.

It was another two months before Dean saw you again. You'd called him for backup while hunting a Wendigo in the forest a little ways from where Dean had been similarly hunting a good old-fashioned ghost. Six hours, a dead wendigo and eight beers in, Dean was finally tipsy enough to do it.

"So," he said, twirling his beer on the table. Watching the base of the glass tread condensation over the warping wood of the surface, Dean hesitated to make eye contact with you. "What's it like, huh? Being... with another dude."

Beer choked its way down your windpipe. You wiped your mouth and punted your chest a couple times to clear your throat. You told him it was good, no different from being with women, really, aside from the difference in anatomy and feel of it all.

Dean hadn't mentioned it after that. You'd both downed a couple more beers and stumbled back toward the motel room. You'd stumbled with the key for a moment, probably scratching up the lock a little more. Once you'd both stumbled through and Dean had discarded his coat over the back of the mysteriously stained chair by the rickety desk. Rubbing over his stubble, Dean decided he was not going to staying in anything less than a three-star joint from here on out.

"Can I, uh- can I try somethin'?" Dean asked awkwardly, and before you even had the agreement completely off your tongue, his lips were on yours. You jerked in surprise, having not expected this in the slightest, and then he was gone a second later, turned away from you and you could tell- ready to bolt for the door.

"Sorry, fuck-" Dean said, already reaching for his coat and taking a step for the door. You stopped him, had him turn around and face you.

"Do not apologise," you said forcefully, trying to get the words through the haze of panic you could see taking hold of his features. You brushed a hand over his cheek and encouraged him to make eye contact. "Wanna tell me what that was about, stud? Not that I'm complaining."

"Stud, heh," Dean chuckled nervously at the nickname you'd had for him for years now- noting the new more sultry tone the affectionate nickname had taken. "Listen, I- you know me. No bad luck with the ladies, but I've never, uh- you know."

You arched your brow, waiting for him to finish the sentence. It became pretty clear pretty quick that he was going to continue stumbling over his words unless you put him out of his misery.

"Kissed a dude?" You supplied. Dean's mouth opened and closed a few times, a very fine dusting of pink appearing on his cheeks before he nodded, averting his eyes. You eyed him carefully before adding- "Hmm. I know it was pretty short-lived, but- what did you think?"

"I mean- it was good. Yeah, great. No, good- good stuff," he sort of answered, that fine dusting growing just a shade darker.

"Dean, darling," you said, voice dropping an octave in your very best attempt at flirting. "Do you want to do it again? Hmm? Do you want to kiss me, pretty boy?"

Dean's breath hitched, his perpetually creased brows smoothing out in shock. Oh, he's been flirted with, sure. But not like this. Once you realised this, it was as if you'd been struck down with divine motivation. You stepped towards him, crowding him with your very masculine and very intentional energy.

"Yes," Dean whispered, plush lips parting to let bated breath through. "God, yes."

That was all you needed to hear, your hand twisting around to hold the back of his neck and bring him closer. He put up no fight as you pressed your lips to his, nibbling at the soft skin. If you didn't know better, it almost sounded like Dean whimpered in response to it before he kissed back, surging forward.

You stepped back, allowing him to crowd you against the end of the bed. Your ass hit the mattress and Dean was crawling on top of you faster than you could blink, fingers trailing over your tee and following the curve of your body up and over your chest, up your neck to cup at your jaw.

It was your turn now to be speechless, hands curling around Dean's hips and giving a soft squeeze. Dean grunted into your mouth, barely breaking away long enough to take a breath before he was back on you.

Dean kissed you like his life depended on it. Years of repressed sexuality all coming out in one kiss. You didn't mind that he'd taken control. In fact, you'd kind of expected it. Dean didn't like to take anything lying down. Especially not something he was nervous about. This was a whole new world for him. It made sense he'd want to keep control over that.

His lips moved over yours, nipping at your own and trailing over your cheeks, neck and back up to your mouth once again. He licked at your lip, requesting access which you granted greedily, tongue playing with his. Dean moaned into your mouth, hips rolling over your own.

You pulled away to catch your breath and Dean leaned above you with a smile that mixed cockiness and vulnerability in such a way that you'd never seen it before, but you wanted to see it again. God, you'd love to see Dean fucked out and boneless. You wanted to really see him let go.

"Been wanting to kiss you for a long time, stud," you said, squeezing Dean's hips. The man in question, puffy-lipped and red-cheeked, chuckled.

"Yeah, me too, handsome," he said, voice low with desire. Then, he added, more to himself than you, "shit- maybe I am gayer than I thought... Huh... who knew?"

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural #spn #supernatural fic #supernatural fluff #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #dean x reader #jensen ackles #masc reader #dean winchester x masc!reader #masc!reader #spn x masc!reader

[acanvasofabillionsuns]

idk if i have sharks (imagine dragons) stuck in my head or some other song that is just a mishmash of music but i am vibing

wore a fun outfit today! not particularly cute (though ofc i was <3) or dramatic or anything, but it was nice :]

also i slept well!!! woke up comfy and all that jazz

and now i'm wearing my new pj gown that is so fun and lovely and i am so pretty in it laksjdf;saldf it's great :D

lots of pretty art and some v silly videos today friends!!! there's a toh one that i'm excited to ramble in some tags about 👀

semi related (to me) i was scrolling someone's tumblr and they'd reblogged theamandafiles' sneasler rant vid, with the tag that her acnh vids are their favorite emmy award winning soap opera or something like that, and like??? the push i needed to start watching those too omg 👀👀👀 i haven't gotten around to watching her latest pokemon vid yet but i am rotating it in my brain

also kennie jd posted her bm&ab 2022 vid today and i'm so excited to watch it

made waffles for lunch!!! and i had more cookie dough and we had pulled pork sandwiches for dinner, and that wasn't enough so i peeled a sumo orange

also i had some raspberries and i'm going to have more for a late night snack bc i'm hungry again 👀

also also my dad made some bread and my fam all sat together and had tea and bread it was nice :]

also also also i am so meticulous about peeling my oranges, and we usually get the cuties which are tiny so i don't often share, but sumos are big and i shared slices with my family and like!!! love language <3

percy and martin i would share my orange slices with you <33

speaking of martin then chit dmed me earlier and 🥺🥺🥺 being silly and dramatic with people who play along is so so fun

i did not get to watch knives out with ashes today but i DID get to talk with vem for like an hour so like! win for the meri community

another win for the meri community: i was so cool and productive today! including drano-ing the bathroom sink which was bugging me sm ugh ugh ugh so glad to be able to do something about it

actually i'm going to list my accomplishments, they are snazzy and deserve to be shared: helped carry bins up and down from the attic (i am so strong and know to lift with my legs 💪😎), swept the kitchen floor, drano-ed the bathroom sink + tub, took out the bathroom trash, washed some dishes, and checked my bank account so i could check 'establish that the $ transfer from my bro actually came through' + 'read my monthly statement' (the email reminding me about it has been sitting there for,,, a bit) off the list

also i put on moisturizer which is another cool and snazzy thing to do <3

hung out with my sisters :]

read some cool fics!!! and i have more open in my tabs that i'm excited to read tomorrow 👀

i just!!! it was a productive but fairly lowkey day, and i had a nice time :]]

#link goes to the tumblr post with her sneasler rant; it's terrific a;slkfj #meri monologues #it's a good good good good good good morning #also i do not have to wake up early tomorrow and i'm looking forward to that

[jurdanhell]

4, 6, 12 :)

what’s your favourite part of the day?

after the sun goes down, when even everyone else is long asleep, and the world is mine

list three positive traits about yourself.

kajsksjsksks oh fuck okay

i’m clever? i think???

i’m a pretty calm person

i like learning (even if it’s only when it’s a subject i’m interested in)

what can you spend forever talking about?

fuck it i’m making you a list

foraging

corn snakes

tfota (or just jurdan)

poetry

music

#i will rant ab the things i listed for Hours #literally #like this is a jurdan blog #and then i really enjoy foraging #corn snakes are just. have you Seen them? #i used to write a lot of poetry #and then i play a ton of instruments and i can’t function w/o music #so here we are #thank you for the ask <33 :)))))

[evening-starlight]

Daddy’s Best Friend

This took two hours to write and it FILTHY lol

All Works Master List

DBF Master List

10

Word Count: 2401

T/W: Smut, protected sex, degradation, honorifics (Pet, Doll, Sir), absolute FILTH, Oral (Male Receiving), cheating, hair pulling, spanking

    Amaris knew this was wrong, coming back to the scene of the crime, but that didn't stop her from knocking on the front door. She hadn't stopped thinking about Tom, about how his lips felt against hers, and how she was curious how the rest of him felt.

    Tom was pleasantly surprised when he opened the door and found Amaris standing there, looking frustrated. "Mari? What's up?" He asks, gesturing for her to come inside. She steps inside, close to Tom.

    "Look, this is embarrassing, but I just want one night with you. I need to get you out of my system if I'm going to have a proper relationship with Armel. That kiss we did was a mistake, but I can't stop thinking about it. So, one more mistake, and we're done, understood?" Amaris rants, shocking Tom at her boldness.

    She was always a bold character, but not this bold. Of course, they shouldn't be talking about this, but the thought of Amaris screaming Tom's name replays in his mind and has been for the last week. Thinking about Amaris's soft lips around him made him harden in his sweats.

    Tom's silence makes Amaris backpedal. "We don't have to. It was stupid to ask. I'll leave, and we can forget I even," She's cut off by Tom's lips on her, shutting her up. They kiss for a second before Tom pulls back.

    "This stays between us, yeah?" Amaris nods frantically, dying to have Tom's lips on hers again. He grants her wish, kissing her like there was no tomorrow. Their lips work together, creating an emotional frenzy between the two. Amaris's guilt subsides when Tom starts kissing down her neck, slowly pushing her back until she hits the wall.

    He settles a knee between her thighs, sucking a spot into her neck. Claiming her as his, at least for the night. Amaris's hands grip Tom's hair, breathing heavily as Tom runs a hand up her shirt, resting on her waist.

    Her skin is soft and smooth to the touch, and Tom can't keep his hands off of her, growing increasingly frustrated with the shirt blocking his assault. "Fucking hell," He mumbles before pulling her shirt off in a haste. Tom stares down at her. Amaris's chest heaves, lifting and dropping her perfectly sculpted breasts that are shielded by a dark red push-up bra. "Did you wear this for me?" Tom asks, palming her over the cup.

    Amaris lets out a pathetic whine, wanting nothing more than Tom to touch her the way she desires. His hands across her body send fire to her heat, growing with every touch. Tom chuckles, snaking an arm around her back while his lips find hers again. He unclips her bra with one hand and uses both to pull it off her shoulders and onto the floor carelessly. Tom's hands find the mounds and massages until he finds her peaked nipples.

    When he tweaks one, Amaris moans loudly into Tom's mouth. His hands make her feel like she's been struck by lightning, amplifying every touch and movement he does. Tom's tongue slips into Amaris's mouth as she continues to moan. She feels like she's on cloud nine, having never felt this horny with anyone before.

    "Bed," Tom huffs, grabbing Amaris's hand and dragging her across the house and to his room topless. He picks her up and tosses her onto the bed, earning a giggle in return. Amaris won't admit it out loud, but she loved being manhandled. "Are you certain this is what you want, Mari?" Tom asks again, anxiety seeping into his mind.

    "Just shut up and fuck me already, Tom," Amaris says, lifting herself onto her elbows. Tom pounces on top of her, causing yet another giggle to escape the girl. The chemicals pumping through her system make her feel dizzy in the best way possible. She has Tom kissing along her body, and it's everything she's ever dreamt of.

    Tom sheds his shirt quickly as Amaris tugs on his, begging him to be as vulnerable as she was. Her mouth goes dry, watching as Tom's abs ripple with a flex as he pulls the shirt entirely off. "Fucking hell," Amaris whispers, reaching up to pet his stomach. Tom chuckles and presses his hand over the top of hers as he leans back down to kiss her.

    Her hands on Tom's skin make the man groan. This is what he's been thinking about for weeks, and it's better than he could have imagined. He settles a knee between Amaris's thighs again, pulling a small moan out of her. "Tom, please do something. I want to feel you, please," Amaris begs, desperate for more of Tom's skin on hers.

    Amaris's pants are pulled down to her knees as soon as she finishes her sentence, on the floor seconds after. Tom stares down at her dark red panties. "They were a matching set," Amaris says, smiling at Tom. "But someone was too impatient to see them together."

    "If I recall correctly, you were the one absolutely begging me to take you, weren't you, Doll?" Amaris whines at the condescending tone Tom uses. His eyes light up at the noise. "Do you enjoy that, pet? Do you enjoy the way I talk to you?" Amaris whines again, not daring to answer when he's exactly right.

    She loved being degraded and belittled, and the fact Tom did it without hesitation makes it even more enjoyable. Tom's hand wraps lightly around Amaris's neck, not enough pressure to be considered choking, but enough to show his dominance. "Use your words, Pet. Or you don't get what you came here for."

    "Yes, sir. I love everything you're doing. You're making me so wet," Amaris says, hoping her honesty will get her something. Tom hums, running his hands over her body, snapping the panty line against her skin. "Please fuck me, Tom," Amaris begs, rutting her hips against Tom's still clothed leg.

    "Patience, pet. I want to enjoy it." Amaris whines in protest at Tom's words. He chuckles and presses his leg against her core harder. Amaris can't help but rut against it, needing some kind of relief from the pressure building inside of her. "Look at you, so fucking desperate for my cock you're willing to fuck yourself against my leg," Tom whispers, bending down to nibble on Amaris's earlobe. His lips find her weak spot, pulling a pornographic moan out of Amaris as he sinks his teeth into the flesh.

    His cock was throbbing in his sweats, begging to be released and fuck inside Amaris, but Tom ignored it the best he could. He wanted to enjoy the only time he'd have Amaris in his bed. Enjoying the moans and whines coming from the girl, Tom continues to leave marks up and down her body, Armel be damned. Amaris was his for the night, and he was going to give her reminders of her betrayal. A betrayal she made just for him.

    When both adults were verging on frustrated, Amaris reaches between the two and cups Tom's cock through his pants. The animalistic groan Tom emits causes Amaris to whine in response. "Fuck, Pet. Rollover," Tom demands, pulling off her and off the bed completely.

    "What? I don't get to see your cock?" Amaris asks, eyes wide and innocent. Tom could see through it. She wasn't as innocent as she let on, even to him. Tom curses, grabbing a fistful of Amaris's hair, guiding her off the bed and onto her knees in front of him. Amaris sits on her knees, eagerly waiting for Tom to pull out his member.

    Amaris knew precisely what she was doing and how to get what she wanted. She wanted Tom to fuck her, yes, but she also wanted to know what it would feel like to have her mouth stuffed with him. And the quickest way to get Tom to do as she wanted to was to suck him off.

    Tom shimmies out of his sweats and undergarments, letting his cock stand full and erect. Amaris can't help but lick her lips before looking at Tom through her eyelashes. "Look at me like that, pet, and you're not going to be able to walk for the next week," Tom threatens, feeling his cock twitch as he looks down at the woman submitting to him fully.

    "Isn't that the point, Sir?" Tom moans lowly at the name that drips from her lips. He didn't think he was a person who would love honorifics so much, but here he was, cock harder than he thought it could get as she calls him 'sir.'

    His cock slowly disappears into Amaris's mouth while she maintains eye contact. She was going to absolutely wreck Tom if it was the last thing she did. Tom moans and rests his hands in her hair as she bottoms out. "Holy fuck, Pet." He breaths out, throwing his head back in ecstasy. Amaris continues to bob her head up and down his cock, watching as his breathing picks up and fists tighten in her locks.

    Tom was in heaven at the moment. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this treatment, but he's thanking every god he could think of while Amaris sucks the life out of him. Her mouth was warm and soft, her tongue swirling around the tip when she comes back up. This was the most perfect blowjob he's had, and he doesn't want it to stop.

    The blow job is cut short when Tom pulls Amaris off, panting as he feels himself being too close to the edge. He wanted to finish inside of Amaris. "Bed. Now." He demands. Amaris stands up and climbs back on the bed slowly, swaying her ass as she does. A loud smack echos through the room as Tom's hand collides with the supple skin of Amaris's rear.

    Amaris moans in response before dropping into doggy position, just as Tom had ordered before. Tom rummages around the bottom drawer of his nightstand before coming out with a condom with a victorious smile.

    The tension between them was deafening as Tom rolls the condom down his shaft before positioning himself behind her. Amaris whines pathetically as Tom teases his head against her clit. "Look at you. Fucking dripping for my cock." Tom says, collecting juice on his cock. "Fucking pathetic," Amaris whines again, pushing against Tom, which earns another spanking. "I decide when you get my cock, Pet."

     Tom continues to run his cock up and down Amaris's slit, saying filthy things that would make a professional pornstar blush. "I want you to fucking beg for me, Pet. Beg for me to fuck you better than anyone has before." Tom barks with a slap on Amaris's ass again.

    "Please, Sir. I want you to break me. I want to feel your cock in me for days after. Please," Amaris's begging is cut short when Tom thrusts his entire length inside her, enticing a loud moan. He stretched and filled her like no one else has, or ever will. His cock fit perfectly inside of her, hitting the right spots in just one movement.

    Amaris clenches around Tom, earning another moan from the man. She wrapped around him like no other has, and he wanted to savor this moment. But his cock begged to differ. Tom starts a slow, rhythmic pace as he fucks into Amaris from behind. The moans leaving her mouth egging him on to go faster.

    As Tom's pace picks up, Amaris starts to lose all earthly grounding. She grips the sheets for some sort of stability but can't get any as Tom rams into her at an ungodly pace. The sounds coming from the room could be heard throughout the neighborhood. Tom's moans push Amaris closer to the edge. He sounded angelic and animalistic at the same time.

    Tom wraps a hand in her hair and pulls Amaris up to her knees, continuing his brutal pace. "Look at you. Moaning for me," He grunts. "Who makes you feel this good?" He asks, using his free hand to wrap around and play with Amaris's clit.

    "You," She moans out, closing her eyes as the pleasure builds inside of her. She's so close she can taste her orgasm.

    "What's my fucking name?" Tom continues, feeling Amaris flutter around him. He knows she's close and wanted to get her over the edge. It isn't until his teeth sink into her neck that she screams out his name as she cums around his cock.

    The slick feeling and fluttering walls push Tom closer to the edge. His thrusts falter as he finishes inside the condom. Tom lets go of Amaris's hair, and she falls onto the bed, panting like a dog who's been left outside all day. Tom flops down beside her, catching his breath before he cleans them both up.

    Amaris is the first to speak. "That was, without a doubt, the best sex I've ever had." Tom laughs at her confession, resting a hand on the back of her sweaty thigh.

    "So why make it a one-time deal?" Tom asks. Amaris shifts her head to look at Tom, a serious expression adorning her fucked-out face.

    "Because I'm still with Armel," She counters. The guilt starts to come back. She shouldn't have slept with Tom, but this was the best she's felt in years after sex. Well, the best she's ever felt after sex.

    "So? Keep him, and when he can't fuck you right, I'll be here," Tom says cockily. He knew this was wrong, but this was hands down one of the best times he's had sex. It was also the fact that Tom didn't want to lose this post-sex feeling. He felt like he could conquer the world in one breath.

    Amaris sighs and moves so she's looking away from Tom again. She wanted to. The sex was amazing. The after-sex feeling had her walking on air. But she was cheating on Armel by fucking Tom behind his back. It's not Amaris's fault that Armel only wanted boring vanilla sex, but it did put a damper on her mood afterward.

    Tom helps Amaris get cleaned up, smiling proudly as her legs shake unsteadily as she stands up. They say nothing more to each other as they get dressed, and Amaris leaves with a thousand thoughts going through her head.

Taglist: @queenofallhobos @kingtwhiddleston​ @cynic-spirit​

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddelston imagine #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #i got 99 problems and tom hiddleston could fix everyone of them #tom hiddleston smut #smut #au #Daddy's Best Friend #twhiddleston #tom hiddleston story #story #og #oc #Original content #original character #paris #affair #love affair #tom hiddleston au #alternate universe #study abroad story #ya #young adult #y/a

[blissfulparker]

Wipeout⇔ Surfer!Dad!tom

Parings: surfer!dad!tom x surfer!reader

Summary; You and Tom spend your whole relationship in the water. Surfing under the summer sun and competing in summers biggest surf competition. To a surpise, you and Tom take on the biggest challenge nature could throw at you. A baby.

Wc: 9k

Warnings: mentions of insecurities durning pregnancy, fluff

A/n: I know this isn’t a birthday themed fic for Toms b-day but I hope you all enjoy! My little spin on a summer fic with dad!tom 🥰

June.

The summer breeze rose goosebumps to your skin. Your hands coming up to rub your arms as the water was only a bit colder today.

it was summer, the best part of the year when you lived with a beach in your backyard. Spending your whole life surfing you now prepared for the summer tournament that happened only weeks away from now. Surfers, fans, media come in from nearly all over the world just to compete.

To feel a wave under their boards and the adrenaline that rushes through your blood when you finally get on top. The same competition that lead you to Tom, Tom who was now your boyfriend of two years. At first, you laughed at the boy.

Pale, shy—yet so cocky and from London of all places. The most water they got is from the sky. You wanted to laugh with your friends for how confident he was acting, little rain boy wanted to have a chance in the big ocean and he did. To your shock, he scored better than you and scored to be in the top 10. Your laughs stopped after competition and maybe it was the slight momentary enemy thing or it was that deep blue bikini that made him find you after the games and get you out for a drink.

That drink was truly a shared basket of fish and chips as you talked more and more about each other. Pale, rainy London boy ended up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

“You wiped out twice!” He sits atop his board and your hands rub over your face.

“Maybe because I’m distracted!” You splash water in his direction. His toned abs always tanner during g this year and it was hard for the both of you to control yourself. “I’m just tired, stressed.” You shrugged it off truthfully.

“You fell asleep at 8:00 last night, grandma.” He teased and you rolled your eyes.

“Competition stress.” You point to him and he shrugs. If he’s honest, within the two years he’s known you, two years he’s loved and wondered where you had been all his life, he knew your stress. When you were stressed you oftentimes took long showers or wrote in your journal for hours on end but this time your stress was sleeping early/in late and a few times he’s caught you throwing up. All under the name of stress.

He didn’t push anything though, reminding you that he is there and you could tell him anything. But nonetheless, he left you be and just kissed your cheek and told you everything was okay.

“Race you to shore and whoever gets back inside first gets the leftover chicken from last night!” He starts to swim and you quickly flatten yourself on your board.

“What are we like five?” You call out but still push yourself to go faster. Pushing yourself to race him to shore.

Even though Toms board was definitely double his size, he still beat you into the house, already washed off and reheating the leftovers for lunch. After a morning swim you always had lunch before you went off to work where you would teach little kids how to surf. No matter what, you were always around the water.

“So I was checking the competition list this week, checking to see if there’s anyone new…” he trails off on a story. The two of you share the chicken and fries before you suddenly get a disgusted taste in your mouth. The chicken suddenly becomes sour in your mouth but you force yourself to swallow, Tom notices the change and he stops everything to make sure you’re okay.

“Darling, what is it?” He has a worried look but you shake your head.

“Nothing—it’s nothing. I-I just think this part of my chicken was a bit undercooked and it grossed me out. It’s nothing.” You smiled at him and he waited a second before continuing his story.

But that wasn’t the end of it, the next bite even more sour and this time you drop your fork and open the trash can to spit it out. The spitting then followed by spitting up all of your breakfast and lunch. Tom quickly coming to move any stray hair and rubbing your back as he tried to not throw up himself.

When you were done, he quickly closed the trash can lid and got you into the bathroom where he assembled the toothbrush for you.

“Peaches, I know that you told me not to worry but this is the third time this week.” He folded his arms as he leans against the wall.

“I’m fine.” You say through a mouth filled with toothpaste. Spitting into the sink and rinsing your mouth while also splashing some water over your face. When you look back up, just a bit, your eyes flicker to the untouched box of tampons.

One week late wasn’t so bad, one week late was just some built up stress and every women had been a week or two late before. But before tom can take notice in your distraction, you turn around to him who hands you a towel.

“But you’re not fine.” He argues a bit gently, not wanting to offend you.

“Tom, in school I would throw up during exam seasons all the time. It’s just stress okay? Better than losing hair or breaking out I guess.” You try and joke with him but he doesn’t exactly laugh. Just stares at you worried and you push back a few of his curls.

“Hey, look at me,” you tell him and his eyes meet yours. “I’m fine, seriously! Just a bit of stress and nothing the ocean water and you can’t fix.” You kiss his cheek and he finally smiles.

“Can you go see a doctor? For yourself and if not for yourself then for me, I want you to do good at competition and you know they won’t let you compete if you are sick in anyway.” He rubs up and down your sides and you sigh. Hating the doctors but you agree.

“Okay, okay. I’ll make an appointment but they will just tell me I just have butterflies.” You tell him and that’s when he grows a smirk.

“Aw, babe, I didn’t know after all these years I still gave you butterflies!” He teased and you rolled your eyes playfully nudging your body against him. Both leaving the bathroom, your eyes flicker over to the untouched box to tampons that just taunt you one last time before tom shuts the bathroom door. It was possible, you just didn’t want it to be possible just yet.

-

“I should’ve canceled, I should be there!” Tom speaks through the phone. You sat in an empty, cold doctors office waiting for blood results to get back.

Despite Toms over worrying, everything was fine. They couldn’t find anything physically wrong with you and agreed when you mentioned how it was just anxiety and nerves. Yet they still had to run a blood test to make sure it wasn’t anything they missed and couldn’t see with the naked eye.

Meanwhile tom had to be the most dramatic person out there. You always told him if he was not a surfer he would be an actor. It was impressive how every single night before bed he had a new condition to diagnose you with. Some so severe and outrageous you had to remind him that this wasn’t 1600s England and that you didn’t have the plague. That things were just from stress and if it was a stomach bug then let it run through.

Yet he would rant to you nearly every single night about how he’s always loved you and hated that this was the way to go. Always with that you would smack him with a pillow and tell him to go to sleep and with that he would kiss your cheek and hold you tight as he fell asleep.

“Tom, it’s fine. Seriously! They said they couldn’t find anything wrong, you’d be wasting your time to come here. The most you’d get out of this visit is maybe a sticker. Does Tommy want his girlfriend to bring him back a sticker?” You used a baby voice and you could practically hear him going red.

With a scoff he replies, “Ugh, no. What am I like five?” He pauses for a moment. “But what kind do they have? Were you able to check?” He asked in more of a quiet voice and you laugh.

“No clue. But the nurse told me the best thing I could do is just drink some tea and rest. Maybe they have some spiderman stickers or Sofia the first stickers.” You fiddle with the loose thread on your pants. Ending with a joke to calm both yours and Tom's nerves.

With a smirk, Tom Says, “you’ve been drinking some British tea for awhile—“ he jokes and you quickly cut him off.

“Tom!” You say and as if it was a sign, the nurse comes back in with a clipboard and a gentle smile. “Hey, I’ll call you back, the nurse has my results.”

“Wait! Before you go, ask them to check for tapeworms—“ before he could finish you hung up.

“He’s just dramatic.” You laughed a bit and the nurse laughed along before taking a seat across from you. She clicks her pen which makes you nervous for some reason.

“So your blood came back fine, everything is okay. I just have a few little things such as are you on any birth control?” She asked and you shook your head.

“Oh no, um...haven’t been for a while. But my boyfriend and I use protection and we’re safe. We only used planB once and that was a year ago.” You tell her but she looks up at you. Nodding as she purses her lips.

“Condoms only go so far sweetheart. We just have to ask patients who we find to be with a child incase of any birth control so we can remove it immediately, the birth control, I mean, remove that immediately.” With child. You were with a child. Pregnant. Your heart nearly falls out of your chest and the nurse says a few more things but they don’t register.

“Y-You mean there’s a baby inside of me?” You don’t know what color you look right now but you would assume pale, or green with the feeling of vomiting and this time not from slightly uncooked raw leftover chicken.

“Yup, about one month along it looks! We still will want to run more tests and…” she talks more and more but you don’t listen. Your brain foggy, you don’t know if you’re going to pass out or throw up or shit everywhere from how nervous you were. Hell, even all three seemed like an option as she talked. “So I’ll leave you to tell the important news?” She asked. This was apart of her regular day to day, she probably had hundreds of girls like you come in. Clueless and thinking of a stomach bug and then finding out they are pregnant.

“Y-Yeah.” You try to form a smile.

“Perfect, just meet me up at the desk whenever you’re ready. There’s a bathroom down the hall if you are feeling queasy and of course, help yourself to as many waters in the mini fridge in our waiting room. Congratulations!” She says before she turns out and all you hear is the door click shut. The white noise of the light and the taps of your fingernails against the cool metal bed.

You know it was professional and sweet of her to allow you space to call your significant other but you only stare at Tom's contact. Staring at the word ‘Tommy’ with almost all the heart emojis and his contact pictures of him with the biggest smile.

You have no guts to tell him right in the moment, but rather get off of the paper coated bed and grab your things to leave. Setting up a new appointment with your doctor to see more into the baby. Pregnant, with child, before competition. You and Tom were going to have a faimily.

July.

Tom still hadn’t known the news. It had only been a week but the guilt still ate you alive.

You didn’t want to worry or stress him. You yourself still tried to wrap your brain around it. A baby, every breath you took, every bite of food you ate, every drink you swallowed and every step you took there was a baby you shared it with.

You think about how every time tom had wrapped his arms around your waist this week he gently touched over the baby. Kissing your lying lips, you hated yourself for it.

As for competition, your mind nearly forgot. Still getting in the waters everyday with Tom but this time a bit more cautious. Everytime Tom worried for you, you quickly would cover his worry up with either a joke or kisses.

As for the throwing up, morning sickness was something that came in and out. You started hating the smell of bacon tom cooked in the morning but just waved it off. He noticed your decline in caffeine and beers and wines but you just told him the best athletes only had what’s best for their body before performing.

Tom believed all of it. Every single white lie you told—even though you hated yourself for telling them— believed them.

“How ya feeling?” Toms lips met your forehead as you cuddled up on the couch today. Extra tired and almost positive the baby was screaming at you for rest. You cuddled a bowl of popcorn and a water bottle.

“Mmh, just fine.” You give him a smile as his lips come down to meet yours.

Stealing some popcorn from the bowl, he heads over to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

“I’m thinking we do shrimp tonight?” He looked over and you made a face.

“Ew, no.” You shake your head and he gives a furrowed brow look.

“What? You love shrimp!” He responds and you feel yourself growing hot. Hiding deeper in the Blanket and not wanting to show your face.

“Well, I’m just not in the mood for it tonight.” That was another thing, lots and lots of emotions. Luckily Tom had plenty of emotions to match.

“Okay...tuna?” He offers and you shook your head. “Steak?” Once again and no. “Chicken?” No. “Okay, love, you’ve gotta help me out. I know you’re not feeling well but I’m helpless in here.” He says and your eyes start to water. He notices and immediately comes over.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he comes in front of the couch and crouches down to you. “What’s wrong?” He stroked your cheek and you shook your head.

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” You sniffle. “Seriously, I’ll help you. I’m thinking pasta.” You smiled and he did too.

“Yeah that’s not too bad.”

And so you two made and ate dinner completely normally. No tears from you, no sickness from you. Tom only talked about the waves out today and how much you would’ve loved it. Now you two spent time washing up.

“You think that one girl with red hair will be there like last year? She was so annoying.” You laughed as you got excited again for competition. Tom grew tense as you mentioned it. You noticed that. How he didn’t talk much about competition anymore. It went from the only thing you two talked about to now nothing. You knew how excited he was, the both of you were but suddenly it was like that excitement was put in a box to rest.

“Yeah...she was.” He kinda laughed but then just washed harder at the dish.

“Everything okay? You’ve kinda stopped talking about competition.” You put down your plate and that's when he took a deep breath.

“It’s nothing, I promise.” He tells you, pressing his lips into a lying smile that you knew.

“Baby, you can tell me anything you know. I’m always here for—“ and with that, he cut you off and told you the words you hated to hear.

“I-I took you out of the competition,” Tom sighed, dropping the dish rag on the counter in defeat. He watches as your face goes from annoyed to shock. Anger builds behind the eyes he find peace in. “It was wrong me me to do so—“

“damn right it was wrong of you to do so!” You slam your hand on the counter. “W-why would you?”

“You were sick! You were so sick for so long and what was I going to let you do? just make yourself worse—“

“it was the stress! I told you it was the—“

The built up ignored tension between you both finally caused him to snap.

“Is your period being late stress too?” His words caused the room to be silent. You take a sharp breath as you stare at him with anger but not at him anymore, at the fear of your new life.

“I’m just late, it’s normal for a woman like me to be rhis stressed and late...” you trailed off and this time he had the red face.

“Bullshit. What happened at that doctors appointment.” He demanded. You didn’t say a word at first which only angered him more. “Damnit (y/n)—“

“I’m pregnant.” You finally cry out and he knew his thoughts could be true, he knew they had to be but the moment those words left your mouth his whole body froze. He went pale with fear and shock, his hand no longer gripping the counter out of anger but out of support in case he passes out. The tears that left your eyes were uncontrollable as you let out a sob, the first sob that snapped tom back into reality.

He didn’t think twice, his arms supportively wrap around you as he tells you sweet nothings to try and calm you and himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He mumbled into your hair. You swallowed hard as you pulled back, your face wet with tears and you sniffled. His thumbs come up to wipe away each tear and each trace of mascara.

“Because I wanted to be normal still! I wanted to compete, I wanted to surf! I can’t surf anymore tom, i'm going to be a mom and I won’t have time for surfing.” You sob more and he only pulls you back into his grasp.

“I’m so selfish and stupid to even think to compete but I just want to n-not—“ you can’t even spit it out anymore.

“Who said you can’t surf when you’re a mom?” He moved back to hold your face. You didn’t look at him, he wasn’t going to force you to either. This was your decisions right now, he just wanted to listen.

“When you’re a woman and a mother, everything is for your child. You will have time to surf because you’re a dad but no one wants a mom to do anything but take care of their kid and I’ll love this baby so much, I will, but don’t want to lose myself. I’m young, you’re young and you’re about to be the next big thing.” You punch his shoulder playfully trying to lighten things up. “I—i-W-we’ll—“ you start again and he shakes his head.

“Don’t even say it. Sweetheart, you’re having a baby, our baby. I will make sure you still surf, when it’s safe, Of course. I-I don’t even have the words right now, my heart is racing, feel it.” He placed your hand over his chest to feel his pounding heart. “You will be (y/n) Holland, the infamous surfer that beat Tom Holland twice last year and you will be the mother to our kid. Their badass mom.” He cracks a smile as his hand goes to your stomach.

A shared moment where he only touches the stomach as he learns about it. You look at him softly and he looks at you as if you were the entire world. As if he was a little kid at sea world for the first time, he looks at you with beauty and hope and a hint of thankfulness

“For a minute,” you speak again. “I thought you were completely calm about this.” You chuckle and he shakes his head.

“No, I actually think I’m going to throw up.” He held his breath for a moment before he moved to the trash can and emptied his worried stomach.

This time it was you rubbing his back and wiping his mouth. Maybe you wanted to roll your eyes at the Irony but you just knew he loved you.

Holland. He used the last name Holland on you for the first time you’d ever heard it. He said it so confidently as if you two were already married. Holland. You can get use to that.

-

Day of competition

there was this sort of shock in everyone’s face as they watched you walk in shorts and a tee. Joining the crowds of people instead of getting ready for the waves of water.

This year was no wetsuit with your board, slathering sunscreen on your face as you got ready but rather taking a seat in that sand just like everyone else. Carrying a baby no one knew about except you and Tom and a few friends and family.

Your body was warm with nerves, hundreds of cameras here usually captured the sea, interviewing the surfers afterwards. Although it was not like Hollywood, there was no TMZ or dailymail, but there was enough interest and news casters to tilt their heads for why they infamous (y/n) (y/l/n)—soon to be (y/n) Holland—took a seat with the friends and family. Cheering on from the sand.

“Hey.” Z snaps you out of your constant looking around, how your eyes never focused on one thing.

“Ease up a bit, babes, no one even knows.” She knew, you knew you had to explain to her when you were sitting out. Just as Tom explained to his brothers and the two of you both would explain to his mother after competition. For he knew the women would get so excited she would explode

“Right.” Was all you said as you started clapping with the rest of the crowd when the games begun. It would be a moment for them to get to tom, they always let the younger ones go first, you and Tom were in that fine middle where you had to wait just for the middle of the games.

“Do you want a boy or a girl?” Z asked with a hint of excitement to her voice. She kept it quite enough to where it was just you.

“I’m okay with either.” You didn’t ever care much for gender, although a girl would be nice to balance out the male testosterone you’re always around. “A girl would be nice though.” You smile at Z.

She gives a smile back, leans back on the towel as she soaks up the sun. “And Tom?” She asked and you shrugged.

He had talked about almost everything but a boy or girl, when you asked if he cared he told you,

“as long as they have two arms, two legs, a torso, a head, comes out of me with no trouble, then it’s a perfect surfing buddy.” You quote him exactly, smiling at his words from a few nights ago.

When he found out, his hands never left your stomach, even though you reminded him the baby was only the size of a grape. That well...it was just a bunch of cells forming up in the moment that couldn’t exactly kick for it had legs the size of your pinky nail. He still waited, he waited and waited, you didn’t even know what he was waiting for at one point for he would pause between his words at the baby or when he asked you a question he looked down at your stomach as if they would reply for you or before you.

“I know hes nervous as hell, but he’s so excited, I know it. The other day Harrison told me he cried when he told him. Tom, crying.” Z laughed a bit and you did too.

“If you think I’m the emotional one...turn on coco or inside out and see what happens to that man.” You chuckled as you turned your head back to the waters to watch tom with a smile on his face blow a kiss in your direction before getting on his board. Paddling out to the sea you watch him get ready to take the first wave, the crowd goes wild and your hand rests over your stomach.

This time, next year, you would sit on these sands with a smaller version of the two of you.

August.

Being early in your pregnancy but far enough to show was not as glamorous as people made it be.

Your shorts no longer fit, shirts started to get loose at the top and tight at the bottom and for the love of heaven you slept so much. Tom liked the idea of endless naps, somedays you wondered if he was the pregnant one instead of you. As he slouched around, ate just as many snacks as you and started to even complain about some of the same things you did.

Maybe it was the impact your moods had on him or the fact he stopped drinking caffeine since you no longer could have it and he didn’t know what his life was before morning coffee was with you. He was almost the same as you were durning the pregnancy.

“What are you doing?” Putting on a bikini for the first time since you told Tom. For the first time in about a month. You didn’t like the fit much anymore, the bloation you constantly had and the extra weight you now carried in your thighs, arms and breasts made you insecure. The top that used to fit perfect now had you grunting to tie. But you had to wear what you had to wear to get you in the water.

“I’m coming with you to the beach.” You say innocently and he shakes his head.

“You’re not picking up a board, you know that. Besides, the waters have been rough lately, there’s that storm coming in and one hard wave can hit you and I don’t want that to happen.” He exaggerates and you look at him with a dead stare.

“Tom, I haven’t touched the water in over a month, I’m pretty sure my skin cells are changing because of it.” You exaggerate as well and he comes up to you.

“Well, I’m not letting you in the water. It’s too dangerous.” He was serious, at first you thought he was just being dramatic, he was still going to let you swim but he was 100% serious.

“Tom, you’re kidding.” You scoff a bit and he shakes his head.

“I’m sorry darling, I know a lot is happening—“ he starts and you move back.

“The doctor said I am healthy enough to be physically active and I—“ before you could finish he cut you off.

“The doctor said you could do some squats, leg workouts, lift a 5lb weight, that was the type of exercise he said. The waters are too dangerous, please don’t argue with me.” He pleads but your emotions get the best of you. Anger starting to build and your body heating up.

Tom had learnt one thing so far; don’t upset the pregnant women and that’s exactly what he did.

“You’re telling me to not argue with you when you are the one holding me hostage in my own home? God, Tom, I have a life still too! A month ago you said you understood what it was going to take and now you’re treating me the way I specifically asked not to! I’m getting in the water, I haven’t been in the water for months it feels like and that’s all I know—“ your rant continues but Tom isn’t looking at you anymore. He’s looking at your side view in the mirror.

Your bump is showing, the bump he swore he could kinda feel but not see was now showing. Almost like it grew overnight.

“Fuck, Tom! Look at me while I’m—“ you start to yell again but he steps closer.

“Look.” He stares at the mirror and comes closer to your bump.

“Oh my…” you see exactly what he’s seeing. The small curve outwards that is your swollen stomach. Your bump.

“May I?” He asked and your mood went from angry to overfilled with happiness. Your eyes starting to tear ss you nodded.

“Tom, it’s your child too, you can touch.” You told him and he did. Your hand even went to your stomach as you rubbed over the bump that was barely forming.

“It’s like it happened overnight.” He laughed a bit and you did too.

“I swear it wasn’t there last night when I got out of the shower. I swear.” You let a few tears fall and he peppers soft kisses.

“I’m sorry.” He gently stroked at the stomach and you sniffled.

“I’m sorry too. I know you just want what’s best for us but I’m just…” you sniffle some more not being able to finish.

“I know baby, I know.” He gets up and wraps his arms around your back. Pulling you in for a hug for you to cry on his chest. So emotional over everything but he was right there. Right there with you.

“We can call the doctor about you surfing, we can call him right now if you want. But I just can’t lose you.” He gives a smile and you nod as your lips meet with his.

“C-can you order the chicken from the place I like?” You finally regain your composure and he nods.

“Of course, anything else?” He looks down at the stomach and you shake your head.

“No, not for now.” You smile down at the small bump forming. “Wait!” You stop him as he’s leaving to grab the phone. He turns to face a guilty looking you, “and mozzarella sticks.” You rub your stomach and he nods. With a faint smile he goes,

“always.” As that was your constant craving. Leaving you in the room for a moment and coming back to see you dressed back ins sweats and a tee shirt, Tom smiled and gladly cuddled up next to you, rubbing and talking to the bump about the future. Maybe you couldn’t surf, but you had Tom right by your side.

December.

Christmas cookies and sweetly salted popcorn occupied your side as you spent a snowy Christmas in London. No beach, no blazing sun even during the day, Tom took you home where you were now five months pregnant.

Heavily showing and to even think you wanted to go surfing months ago was laughable. You hated getting up to shower somedays for it was too much work.

“Darling, Angel, my pretty girl,” Tom sat next to you nervous with his next words. “I know you’re pregnant but there are only so many Christmas cookies.” He told you and you smacked his shoulder.

“Thomas, she’s pregnant! She’s allowed as many cookies as she wants besides there are more in the oven but pregnant women gets first pick as she is carrying my grandchild.” His mom immediately came to your defense. Taking so much good care of you while you were here, Tom doesn’t even think he got this much affection as a sick child.

“I wasn’t saying it’s a bad thing for her to eat cookies, I just want one!” Tom defended himself and you handed him a cookie and you felt your baby kick.

“See? They don't even want you stealing our cookies. I’m eating for two, I’m eating for your baby. You eat a lot by the way! Remember that summer you went through the whole fridge in a week? Yeah, now I’m eating for a tiny version of that! And myself! It’s hard out here for me and what did you do huh? Take two minutes!” You snatched the cookie back from him and rubbed your stomach. His brothers stifled a laugh and Tom grew red in embarrassment.

“I last longer than two minutes.” He says is a mumble.

Rolling your eyes, You rested your head on Toms shoulder and moved his hand over to the kicking stomach. “She says thank you.” You smile as you take a bite from the cookie.

“A she?” His mom perks up and the rest of the family does.

It was a mistake, you and Tom had a battle of the sexes. It seemed as if you didn’t want to know the gender right before your winter holiday. Or really the gender at all. The gender was available for you guys now but you both didn’t see it as a big deal. The baby’s room would be filled with ocean themed toys and a gentle blue wall Anyways. And besides, whatever they decide to be they would make the perfect surfing buddy. Although it was still fun to think of, You thought a girl and Tom swore a boy.

“No, mum, we still don’t know I promise. (Y/n) is just messing around.” He swore and the family relaxed again.

“He’s right, I am just joking. Tom is probably right with his assumption, thinking it may be a boy. With all this moving and eating, just like Tom.” You poke his cheek and Tom again flusters in embarrassment.

“Hey, I have a fast metabolism.” He told you and you kissed his temple.

“I know baby, I’m just teasing you. My man knows how to stay fit and sexy.” You playfully rub his stomach and suddenly the stifled laughs from the boys turn into disgusted noises.

There was everything to indicate a boy, well, mostly just a gut feeling. Tom's mother described her pregnancy with Tom to you and it was nearly the same. A baby boy, you could see that. You would need another fridge and a lot more paper towels assuming the babe will be like Tom and eat yet spill everything. You liked the idea of a boy. Plus, Tom had been playing a stupid game where he asked the baby questions making it kick for an answer. When Tom asked if it was a boy or girl, it kicked the moment he said boy.

The ding of the kitchen timer went off, more cookies fresh out of the oven and Tom was quick to jump up.

“Let me help m’lady up.” He grabs your hands and you grunt as you stand up. You walk with Tom at your side and once you are alone eating more cookies in the kitchen your hand rubs over your stomach as you feel the baby kick in excitement.

“Off the topic of gender, I think they miss the ocean. They kick so much just when I sit in the bath like they are having fun in the water.” You mention water and you feel a kick. They couldn’t understand, but they could hear and a smile rose to yours and Tom's face.

“Then they’re just like their mama.” He leans in and kisses your cheek.

“Who knows, maybe once we get back I’ll get in the—“ before you can finish your sentence about surfing, a sharp kick to your bladder causes you to hunch over with a pained face. Tom worried as he held you panicked but you got back up with a deep breath.

“Nevermind, little one didn’t like that idea.” You hold onto his arms tightly.

“Everything okay? Just a bladder kick?” He panicked and you just nodded.

“Yup.” Your face scrunches up again. “Just the bladder.” You suddenly have the urge to pee. “Now shoo, I’ve got to pee.” You tell him and he looks at you in confusion.

“You just peed like—“ you give him a look making him think about how he’s finishing his sentence. “Right, my darling.” He moved out of your way to let you go. Snatching one more cookie from the tray, he smiled as he thought how next year at this exact time, you would be holding a little baby.

April.

One week. You were one week late and as any normal pregnant woman would be resting in bed and rubbing over her swollen belly and anticipating the child’s arrival. Although that was not what you were doing.

Against Tom's wishes, you went back to work to see the kids start up their surfing lessons. Although there would be no swimming for you, no waves for you just yet, seeing the kids happy to be there was something that sparked joy to your heart always. Helped ease your nerves and turn them into excitement.

“Mrs. (Y/l/n)-Holland, look what I learnt how to do!” One of the kids calls out. You had a smile for not only did they call you by both yours and Tom's name, but that they had always been excited to show you new things.

“That was amazing Ryder!” You clapped at the boy who did a handstand. He had a big smile with teeth missing. Your hand went over your stomach again, an aching pain that was noting but a false labor.

The doctor said it was fine. Women always experienced this right before birth and just take a deep breath but don’t waste your time rushing to the hospital just for them to send you home.

It was normal to be late and that you had a stressful year so it was okay. The doctor mentioned that you still felt contractions which meant you were close. But when it was Tom, every slight indicator of pain you felt meant a freak out where he rushed around the house to get the baby bag and try and get you in the car when in reality, you just had to pee. 

“T-That’s really cool.” You wince and the boys face goes from excitement to worry. Within the luck, Tom comes jogging from the parking lot with lunch for the two of you. Hoping to get in the water with the kids and keep an eye on you.

“Hey Angel.” He kissed your cheek but noticed your pain. “Everything okay?” He panicked and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, Ryder here was just showing me how he can do a handstand now—“ you can’t even finish as the pain was strong.

“(Y/n)?” Tom needed to be calm, your face scrunched up as you held your swollen stomach. “Darling, Angel, pretty girl, look at me.” He used all the pet names you liked and you looked up at him with worry in your eyes. “I think it’s time for us to meet the little one.” He nods with a trying smile and you feel an even sharper pain.

“Mmh, I can’t do this.” You breath heavily as you hold onto the stomach. “Yes you can, if you can surf a wave that is 12 feet with no wipeout then you can birth our baby.” He promised and also got the little boy who was so excited to show you his new moves a moment ago to run and get another adult.

“Tom, I-I can’t.” You felt yourself tearing up and he shakes his head. Your heart pounding and mind swarming with worried.

“You can, you will. You are the strongest women I—“ before he can start his motivational speech you cry out in pain.

“Get me in the goddamn car!” You cry and he nods and gets you up before anything worse. He rushes to the hospital as quick as he can, holding your hand and trying to not crash as you hold your stomach and scream.

When he gets to the hospital, he’s still in a wetsuit. They take immediate action into getting you into a room where you are laying with your legs up waiting for a doctor. Holding Tom's hand as you cry.

“Uh sir?” The doctor walks in and looks at the man in the wetsuit. “We’re going to have to ask you to put on scrubs...helps prevent any ourside clothing germs getting on the baby...are you wearing anything under that?” She asked and he immediately started unzipping.

“Jesus tom, not here, she wants you to get changed in the bathroom.” You shake your head as you run your hands over your face. In pain but want to laugh at your worried boyfriend for how he was acting in the moment.

“Right! Right!” He quickly changes from the wetsuit into the scrubs. The doctors look at him funny but let it go as you’re clearly in pain and needing the baby to be out.

“You got this love, you’re doing so good—“ he starts again but you don’t even want to hear it.

“was this really worth two minutes! I’m getting my fucking tubes tied!” You scream at him and he flushes a deep shade of red as one of the nurses giggles.

After one more big push you heard the sound of a cry filled the room. For just a second, all the pain you felt went away as you see the body of your baby, baby boy. You both were right, a beautiful little boy.

“A boy.” Tom breathes out in awe.

“Dad you wanna come cut the cord?” He looked at you for approval and you nodded. He cut the cord with shaky hands, couldn’t focus for the life of him as he just stared at the boy. You only got to hold him for a second before he’s taken off to a bath. Tom following them before they bring him back in a bundle of blankets.

“Oh my…” you hold the beautiful boy. His little lips open just a bit to make a sound while his eyes flutter to adjust to the light. “Look at him tom.” You feel yourself cry and Tom does too.

“Wow, look at you.” He touched the boy's cheek who immediately tried to take the finger into his mouth. “You did that.” He tells you as the two of you admire it.

“We did that.” You tell him and he smiles a bit. “Although yeah, it was mostly me.” The boy stares hard at Tom, Tom who was still in just swim trunks and scrubs.

“Hey, I ate a lot with you during this pregnancy. Even had my own morning sickness.” He teased and you only laughed.

The room going silent for a moment. Hearing the little cooes of your boy as you held him. Toms finger tracing over his cheek when you finally spoke, “Caspian.”

Tom had mentioned how he liked the name for a boy, more than once. It had connections to the water and to Europe so the child would have a bit of both. You had to admit to yourself that you liked it but just wanted to stick with a more casual name. But looking at how he looked at you the moment you said that name, you knew it was the one.

“Caspian?” He repeated and you nodded.

“Caspian Holland.” You told.

He smiled as he kissed your forehead. “Holland? Just that?” He asked as well and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah just like that.” You smiled. A perfect moment in the perfect situation was interrupted by a small nurse who held a tee shirt.

“Uh sir?” The nurse looked at the two of you and both of your attentions were caught. “So unfortunately we have to ask you to wear a shirt, we got one from the lost and found for you hoping that it would fit.” The shirt read “I’m not as fun as mom” and Tom's face dropped. A proud smirk rises to your face as you look at Tom who’s flared his nostrils just a bit to show his embarrassment.

“Yeah Tom, put on the shirt.” You encouraged and he looked at you. His eyes telling you that you’re going to regret that but you can’t wait 15 years into the future to tell your son.

Sighing as he took the shirt from the poor nurse and sat back down on the chair in a huff.

“You’re never letting me live this one down are you?” Shaking your head you look back down at the boy,

“no, I don’t think we will.” You brought your dry cracked lips down to the boys forehead, you had no water within the past hour and screaming with crying seemed to make you as dead as possible. “Caspian. Caspian Holland.” He whispers again. “Thank you.” He looked at you and you furrowed your brows.

“For everything.” After months of no surfing, months of pain and aches, instead of saying anything back you looked at him and said

“sushi.” Was all you said and he furrowed his brows.

“W-what?” He questioned.

“I need sushi, please.” You sigh and he smiled. Months of being unable to eat any fish that was all you wanted in the moment.

“One California roll coming up.” He kissed your cheek and then the boy's cheek. Calling in the nurse, sending for a California roll and tuna.

Caspian was sleeping soundly in Tom's arms while you ate and rested. Everything was worth it, from the moment he stepped on a plane one summer to Hawaii he knew it was worth it for he found a family in the end.

June.

Once again the sand was squishing under your toes. Feeling each and every grain as you held your baby boy tightly bundled in blankets against your chest as you walked out to the beach. He was freshly bathed, you and Tom took turns. You were so eager the moment you were cleared to get back in the water after birth that the day the doctor cleared you for physical activity, you did it.

But tonight wasn’t you getting in the water, it was you greeting Tom and telling him to come back inside.

“Dinner is done.” You call out to him as he jogs back to the two of you. The baby boy cooing as he sees the ocean and his fathers dripping wet figure coming towards them.

“Hey, look who’s out.” He immediately leans in and kisses all over the pretty baby boy's face. “My sweet boy is so fresh and clean.”

You and Tom had argued about who he had looked more like,You or Tom. he had Tom's nose for sure and his big brown eyes that you knew were going to be trouble. If you had a hard time saying no to Tom when he batted his lashes and gave a glossy look, it was going to be impossible to say no to your beautiful boy.

“He just took a bath. But it wasn’t the ocean.” You smiled and Tom pressed a kiss to your face too.

“Mmh, did you?” He looks at the boy who was yawning in his mother’s arms. “Want to swim a bit?” He asked and you shook your head.

After birth, Tom did a lot of the work. He loved it too. He claimed you needed rest, in which you did, but you would often find him just sitting in the nursery staring at the baby boy. Telling him stories to sleep and kissing his face. He would let you surf, bathe, sleep, all while he took care of your beloved boy.

“No, I’m so tired I think if I use my legs any longer they will snap.” You give a pout and Tom immediately kisses it away.

Tom started to gather his stuff, the beach towel and the bag he normally carried and the moment he started to pack up your baby boy let out a wail.

Within the two months of his birth, you were able to identify each cry. When he was hungry it was more of a gurgle, when he was sleepy it was more strained and forced, when he craved touch it was a whimper sounding cry and then there was this. He was simply upset something did not go his way. May you or Tom stepped away for a moment, the bottle gone too early, but now it was his father packing up his stuff that makes him scream a cry that makes heads turn.

“What’s the matter bubs?” Tom pouts as he sets the stuff down and comes over to him.

Once the stuff is set down the cries settle just a bit, settle enough until tom takes him out of your arms and presses him up against his body.

Still wet from the surf, you both think the baby liked it. While Tom occupied little Caspian, you picked up the towels and his bag for him and once again the boy let out a wail cry which made you and Tom furrow your brows.

“I-I don’t know what it is. I-I changed him and I bathed him and he was perfectly fine and—“ you start to panic and as you panic you drop the stuff which calms his cries. Tom immediately took notice and grew a smile that made his heart flutter in his chest.

“(Y/n),” he stops you and you look up at him with a worried look as if you’ve done something wrong. “He wants to stay. He wants to stay on the beach.” Tom says in a calm voice and the boy was now only cooing in Tom's arms. He bounced gently but mostly cooed as his daddy smiled at him.

“H-He knows we’re leaving the beach.” You sigh and come over to the boys. Petting your sons head as he relaxes in his fathers arms.

“Like I’ve always said, just like his mama.” Tom smiled up at you and you caught his lips for a kiss. “Well…” you rub your hands on your thigh, wiping off the sand you got stuck all over your hands. “Since Caspian always gets his way, I better bring dinner out here.” You smile as you poke at the sweet boys face and Tom moves and has a serious face.

“(Y/n), no, you can’t just whip out your boob in front of—OW! I’m kidding!” You smacked his arm for the stupid comment he made that at first had you worried.

“I hate you. I’m bringing out the dinner.” You start to walk off and he smiles.

“You love us!” He shouts back.

“Just Caspian! You? Not much you. remember...you’re not as fun as mom!” You call out to him, sending him a wink and he wants to say something back but he holds his tounge.

Looking down at the baby boy he says, “when I teach you how to surf I need you to beat mums ass a few times while you’re out there. Just for her little comments.” Tom spoke to the boy and he cooes. “Atta boy.” With that he plots down on the sand towel.

Setting caspian down on the towel for just a moment so he can strip from his wetsuit and be closer to him. You come back out balancing the plates of food for you and Tom as you seat next to them and eat. Leaning your head on Toms shoulder and kissing at it.

You never knew that one competition, one amateur British boy and one shared basket of fish and chips could lead you to the best moments of your life. Could lead you to the best family you’ve ever had.

Please leave feedback! It helps me grow as a writer and lets me know what more you want to see!

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[cvtqr]

we only have 15 minutes, sugar

pairings; eren jaeger x reader

content warning; mentions of past jean x reader, oral sex, masturbation, recording, manhandling?

february 19th

you always found eren jaeger attractive, especially tonight at this party. his long hair thrown up into a messy bun, his white shirt with water split on it - making it see through. god you were about to start counting his abs. but who you were really here for? jean. you guys weren’t in a relationship or anything, just friends who liked to help eachother. it started off when you guys would go to eachother for advice or he would find himself in your dorm room ranting to you. just helping eachother with little problems of course. that doesn’t mean sucking his dick was that much of a stretch from it, right?

anyways jean was in a frat house, along side eren. they were throwing a party, and somehow jean convinced you to stop by. you didn’t know if you were regretting it or not. jean was no where to be seen so you just sat yourself on the kitchen counter drinking some punch you found in a bowl. you were admiring eren from a far, remembering all the bad things jean had said about him. how he just annoys the living shit out of him. but god, how attractive he was. you could’ve sworn you looked down at your phone for not even a minute when you heard someone clear their voice right in front of you. you looked up to be met with eren.

“uh hi?”

“hey hey! erm- y/n. we had physics last semester together. eren, eren yeager.”

yeah, i already know your name

“oh hi!”

“my friend reiner over there says he knows ‘ya too. wanna come play truth or dare with us in the backyard hm?”

slipping your phone into the pocket of your shorts, you jumped off the counter, centimeters away from eren.

he let out a low chuckle, placing his hands on the counter, trapping you inbetween the granite and himself. he looked you right in the eye before reaching one of his hands back to grab a chip in the bowl behind where you were sitting. your breathing shakened a bit and you rolled your eyes at him, looking down.

he let out another chuckle before grabbing your chin and tilting it up, forcing you to look at him. “no need to roll your eyes sugar. if you were expectin-wanting something else, just say it. i’m not a mind reader baby.” he gave you a little wink before letting you go and backing up.

“i erm- i gotta pee i’ll meet you guys outside.”

he gave you a small head pat before running towards the back door.

right when you turned around to head to the bathroom you crashed right into jean, stumbling back a bit.

“oh hey jean!”

he sent you a blunt hey and started walking to the back door with an annoyed look on his face.

tch, what’s his problem.

your little bathroom excuse wasn’t actually an exuse, the amount of punch you were drinking finally caught up to you. right after you sat down your two best friends since birth, sasha and connie came bursting through the door, hysterically cracking up.

“YOO IM TRYING TO PISS.”

ignoring your comment they both collapsed onto the counter laughing their asses off.

you lightly smacked sasha on the back of her head, since she was the laughing the closest to you. “i swear if one of you idiots don’t tell me what the problem is-”

“YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE OUTSITE FIGHTING OVER YOU-” connie said between laughs practically screaming.

“my who?”

“JEAN AND EREN. I-I ASKED FLOCH WHY THEY WERE FIGHTING AND THEY SAID IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOU AND HOW JEAN IS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU ARE SO GOOD AT SU-”

“GOD SASHA YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL HER THAT PART”

“CAN YOU GUYS STOP SCREAMING!”

“SORRY, sorry y/n. apparently jean saw you and eren in the kitchen and well, tried beating eren up.”

letting out a sigh you pulled up your pants and ran out of the bathroom.

running outside you found jean knocked out in the arms of marco and eren standing up, wiping some blood out of the corner of his mouth while winking at you. walking right up to him you slapped him right across the face.

he let out a deep, long chuckle.

“i need to talk to you.”

“lead the way sugar.”

you grabbed his arm and pulled him inside while feeling every single pair of eyes on you.

“where’s your room.”

“if you wanted to get me in bed you could’ve just asked baby.”

god can anyone be that full of themselves

“no - no. i don-”

“i’m just joking sugar. follow me.”

he grabbed your hand and led you up into his room, closing the door behind him.

“what the hell was that all about.”

“for the record he started it. he got jealous for no reason and i wasn’t going to let him use me and his rag doll. and you shouldn’t be with someone like jean anyway. you should hear the way he brags about you being his bitch whenever the house is hanging out.” eren plopped down onto his bed

with that you didn’t know who to be mad at this point. he patted his lap signaling you to come over and sit on it. ignoring him you rolled your eyes and sat down next to him, causing him to chuckle again.

“you should clean your wounds that looks pretty deep on your cheek. and take a shower you smell like dirt and grass.”

he got up and headed over to his bathroom door. leaning on the door frame he turned back around.

“only if you stay.”

“hmph, i’ll think about it.”

15 minutes later eren walked out of the bathroom. you were no where to be found. he did know that he’d get back to you one day, considering you left your phone number on a gum wrapper in place of where you were sitting.

february 26

friday strolled around as quick as ever. this week you talked to eren a few times. he texted you on sunday night to have a good week. sicne he was being nice you replied with a “you too:’)”

after that he texted you yesterday afternoon asking if you wanted to come to another party. you never responded, and now it’s friday, 2:05. you just finished all your classes, and you’d be lying if you said you had anything else to do. well except for the pile of homework you usually wait until sunday to do.

sighing you texted him back saying you already had plans and wouldn’t be able to make it. after that you decided to take a short nap. what you thought would be a short nap turned into you sleeping until 6:30. you figured you should get up and get some dinner. you decided to grub hub some taco bell and eat it in the dinning hall. after getting your food you sat down in the corner of the room. it was pretty empty since it was pretty late for dinner.

“ouch, i’m offended.”

you turned around at the familiar voice

“even jean could convince you to come out but i get some lame exuse.”

“it, it wasn’t an exuse. i do have plans.”

“yeah with yourself.” he pulled over a nearby chair and sat next to you.

“i ditched the party, it was pretty boring.”

“so you came to bother me?” you said while still stuffing your face with your food

“yeah pretty much, you wanna hangout?”

“i mean do i really have a choice?”

he leaned over and grabbed one of your nachos, shoving it in his face.

“no not really sugar.”

rolling your eyes you threw out your garbage and led him to your dorm room. since it wasn't that far of a walk, neither of you said anything on the way there. he just simply followed you. 

once you got into your room you shut the door behind you. 

“if you’re sitting on my bed then shoes off.”

“demanding” he said while slipping his shoes off and plopping onto your bed

“soo..” he said as you sat down next to him.

“wanna watch a movie or something? i see you have a tv in here.”

“sure, let me just fix my blankets so get up.”

he nodded and chuckled, getting up. you pulled down your comforter so there was room to get in, and threw all your blankets into the corner before grabbing your remote and slipping into your bed.

“is this an invitation to come lay with you under your blankets.”

“shut the light.” you said while pressing power on the remote. 

the last thing you remember from that night was cracking up with eren over some stupid movie the two of you put on. before you knew it you woke up with a tight grip around your waist. you look over to see eren, still sound asleep. he was so pretty. you figured the two of you just fell asleep while watching movies yesterday. moments like these you were grateful your roommate was on back at home for family issues.

you tried slipping out of his grip before he pulled you back in and groaned. he was still sleeping so you figured you weren't getting up anytime soon, so you closed your eyes and drifted off back to sleep. you woke up about two hours later to find no eren, but a note.

forgot i have to work on a project with floch. i had fun last night, lets do it again soon :)

you were in a good mood the rest of the day. 

may 15 

its almost been four months since you've met eren. you also cut off your contact with jean. he was a good fuck while it lasted. over the last four months you and eren got closer than ever. hanging out almost everyday, going to parties together, falling asleep cuddling every weekend, you name it. yet again, friday came around. instead of cuddling, you and eren decided to go to a party at some sorority house. 

three hours later you were sitting in a circle with a bunch of people you recognized / were friends with. you were all playing a game of truth or dare, cracking up at each other. everyone’s secrets were coming out and people were doing some crazy things. and the list of things we had to do on campus was piling up. for example, connie has to pull a prank on professor ackerman during class on monday. until it was sasha’s time to ask you.

“hmmm. OH Y?N! truth or dare babes!”

you really had to think this one over. sasha had the power of exposing every single one of your secrets if you picked truth, but she's also kind of crazy so who knows what she would dare you to do. after a small debate in your head you went with dare.

“i pick dare.”

“alright! hmmMMM. i dare you to go into an empty room with eren for 15 minutes.”

you felt the heat rush up to your cheeks when you stood up and stretched your arm out for eren to grab. 

you both left the living room and headed up to a room while hearing the small, faint giggles from your friends.

entering the room eren shut and locked the door behind the two of you.

“so.. what do you wanna do?”

“hmm. we only have 15 minutes, sugar.”

this is it. the moment you've been waiting for. you had eren right in front of you. just go up and kiss him already! 

as you slowly walked up closer to him. he flipped the both of you, pinning you up against the wall. 

“let me see if you taste as sweet as I've imagined, sugar. pleaseee you don't even want to know the amount of times I've fisted myself to the mere thought of it.”

you gave him a nod and that was all he needed to pull you off the wall and push you down onto the bed. pulling up your skirt and pulling down your panties, he grimly smirked. 

“don't you dare cum without my permission.” was all he said before going between your legs and flicking his tongue onto your clit. your breathing quickly became heavy and irregular before he shoved two fingers, palm deep into your cunt. 

“ahh~ f-fuck eren-” you blurted out while starting to move under his touch, slightly bucking your hips up. 

that was until you felt a strong pair of hands hold your hips down. 

“stop moving or i’ll stop.” he hissed out before going back down on you, eating you out more forcefully than before, brining you right to your climax.

“f-fuck eren i need to cum- please let me cum. pleaseee~”

“no.” he said while pulling his fingers out of you.

“the only place you’re cummin’ is on my cock. you hear me?”

you wiped away the slight tears forming in the corners of your eye while nodding.

“that's a good little girl.” eren said while smirking

he swiftly grabbed you and flipped you over onto all fours, while shoving your face into the mattress. your first reaction was to perk your ass up for him.

“well someones eager aren't they.” was all he said before pulling down his pants just enough for his fully hard cock to spring out. he could've came just to the feeling of eating you out. 

he leaned down into your ear while whispering, “as sweet as sugar.” he started jacking off while still leaning down, before quickly cumming all over your ass. 

did he just?

he pulled up his pants before getting up and heading up towards the door. 

“well sugar, looks like our time is almost up. we should get back to the ga-” he was cut off by you running up to him and clinging right onto his shirt. practically crying you were blurting out small no’s.

“f-fuck the game, er - eren please just fuck me.” you were so desperate to the point where you were choking on your words. 

“aw, i’m sorry baby i didn't mean to make you cry.” he said while stroking your hair and patting your head. “come suck me off in my car and maybe if you do a good job i'll take ya home and fuck you, yeah?

may 18

sitting in your first class of the morning you were bored out of your mind. getting some lecture from professor ackerman after connie drew all over his desk.

that was until you got a snapchat notification from eren. opening it you were oh so grateful you had your headphones in. it was a video of eren cumming all over his laptop with a video of him shoving his cock oh so deep into your pretty little cunt. 

with the caption of missin’ the taste, sugar :’(

you’d be sure to pay him a visit during your lunch break.

#attack on titan #aot #attack on titan fic #attack on titan x reader #aot smut #aot fic #aot x reader #snk #snk x reader #snk smut #eren jaeger #eren yaegar #eren smut #eren x reder #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger smut #eren yaeger x reader #eren yaeger smut

[mrskittythulhu]

Red Feathers of a chance encounter

part 1  part3  part4

  Wattpad

(18+) Hawks + fem (y/n) 

It had been a few months since your wild encounter with Dabi. All the marks he left on your body have now faded away. His touch, his taste and his dark voice became nothing more than a memory you wish you could move on from. Despite the new rumors that circulated about you when you came home disheveled something did remain the same, your ‘hero’ ex-boyfriend still kept tabs on you.

One benefit from your night with Dabi was that your Ex finally got the hint that the relationship was over. Word quickly got around about how you ‘cheated’ on your boyfriend or some wild spin like that. This gave you the opportunity to tell others how it was over and finally people listed even if they reacted poorly towards you. You would rather be hated for something you did than be hated for the lies he created around you.

For a couple of weeks things were quiet. No messages, no extra heroes ‘patrolling’ your neighborhood and best of all you had not seen your Ex. Life became simple go to work, stop at the corner store on days you needed food, then home. Unfortunately, nothing good can last forever.

At first you thought you were being overly paranoid when you got jumpy overshadows moving in the corner of your eyes. At night you would hear rattling outside your window despite your apartment being high up on the fifth floor. Your uncomfortable feelings became validated when you were walking home from work you noticed your Ex leaning on the wall of a nearby building. He was in his hero uniform acting like he was on patrol, but you knew he was watching you again. This was his typical intimidation tactic. When you locked eyes with him, he winked then started walking away.

Weekend finally arrived and you had a free day to unwind. Tired of feeling cooped up inside your apartment you took your book to the near by park. After a short walk you found yourself peacefully seated under a tree in the center of the park. The distant sound of wildlife and children playing echoed around you.

Twenty minutes into your peaceful reading a shadow loomed over you. Feeling the ominous presence of someone hovering over you, slowly you looked up to be face to face with the last person you wanted to see.

“Fuck”, you cursed quietly to yourself as you met is smug expression. He even had the nerve to show up in his hero uniform. Another one of his classic intimidation tactics. He knew that if you drew attention in anyway, he could claim you were hysterical and as a ‘hero’ he was just there to ‘help’. This forced all public conversations to stay quiet leaving you, once again, defenseless.

“Hi there (Y/N) been a while I missed you so much.” His smile was bright as if he had rehearsed in a mirror for hours before finding you here.   “I know we have had some misunderstandings but I’m willing to forgive you for cheating on me because I’m such a standup guy.”

“First of all,” you slammed your book shut and quickly stood to your feet. “Hard to miss someone when you stalk them.” You felt your body shaking from the adrenaline rush, but you needed to get these pent-up words out.  “Two I don’t miss you and lastly, I didn’t cheat on you I dumped you months ago you narcissistic creep.”

You knew your voice was louder than it needed to be and at this point you didn’t care if other people listed in. After living without this walking garbage in your life you refused to go back to how things were before.  Quickly taking the opportunity to walk away you started walking towards the playground. If he wanted to cause a commotion he could try and do it where families could see how he really was.

A tight gloved grip squeezed around your arm. You instinctively started to pull away from him and shout for help. For a brief moment you locked eyes with a woman sitting on a bench by the playground. Your ex kept telling you to quiet down but that only prompted you to scream louder for help. Fear filled your body at the thought of being stuck any longer with this man. Tears pricked at your eyes as your voice became strained from screaming. Frustration took over as you realized no one around you was coming to help.  

Suddenly a ribbon of red swirled around the both of you. The distraction was enough for him to let go of your body. Losing your footing you stumbled to the ground. While sitting there you looked back at your ex who was busy swatting at what looked like red feathers attacking him. A strange loud flapping noise pulled your attention in the opposite direction. Before you could even process anything that was going on your legs lunged you off the ground and into the arms of another man.

The smell of sandalwood quickly filled your nose. A gentle hand wiped at your tears and slowly lifted your face up towards theirs. Golden eyes with sharp black eyeline looked back down at you. A small smile with light facial hair on his chin. Wild windblown blond hair and large bright crimson red wings behind him.

Very suddenly the realization hit you that you were in the arms of the heart throb number 2 hero HAWKS. Your eyes went wide, mouth agape, and cheeks began to burn from sudden embarrassment. His deep husky chuckle was like music to your ears and in that hypnotizing moment was the only thing you could hear. The arm he held you with squeezed you just a bit tighter to his body causing your breast to press into him.

“What the hell Hawks?” your Ex yelled out with rage.  “What are you even doing here this isn’t your territory?”

“Well, when you become a top hero like me EVERY area is your ‘territory’ and why wouldn’t I respond to the cry of this lovely chickadee in distress.” The sweet expression quickly turned dark as hawks was now glairing at your ex. His hold on you was firm but protective. With how close you were to him; you could hear the rustle of his feathers as if he was preparing to use them.

“This is just a lover’s… spat. No reason for you to involve yourself.” You squeezed into the sides of Hawks hoping he wouldn’t believe the lies from your Ex’s mouth. “So just hand her over and fly on by.” Your Ex started to make a shooing motion with his hand. His smug over confidence was pouring out the more he talked. He began spewing out the same lines he used every time someone tried to involve themselves in your public displays with him.

Soft knuckles trailed down your cheek leading to a gentle thumb stroking along your jaw line. His sweet smile was back as he looked down at you.

“Chickadee are you the lover to this angry gorilla?” His words were so gentle, but you could hear the sarcasm in his voice. Being pressed firmly to his muscular chest you were able to feel the rumble of his quiet laughter. His golden eyes sparkled in the light of the sun as he looked down at your shy expression.

“N-no,” you quickly cleared your throat to speak with more confidence. “I dumped him months ago, but he won’t leave me alone.” This was it. This felt like you last chance to have someone believe you about how awful your ex really is.

You felt one of Hawks wings protectively wrap around you as your Ex started to lose his cool. “Dumped me!” Your ex faked a laugh as he started to pace about with his hand flailing in the air. “You cheated on me with that murderous villain.”

Shock filled your body as you looked up to the winged here with wide eyes. He was glairing hard at your ex with unwavering focus on the man erratic movements. You curled into his side more as your ex began to call you a slew of unsavory names. Near by parents began to cover their children’s ears and move away from your drama. Tears pricked the corner of your eyes as you took in his harsh words, but Hawks remained as still as stone.

“So, as you can see your just wasting your time so just hand her over to me.”  Your ex had his palm out eagerly waiting for you to be turned over to him.

“I don’t think so.” Hawks’ words were blunt. You felt his arm wrap around your waist tighter the movement hidden from your ex’s view by his wing.

“Then I’ll take her back by force.” Your ex balled his fist and lunged towards the both of you. Red feathers swiftly propelled the both of you into the air. Once high enough out of reach Hawks sent a wave of feathers towards your Ex within seconds he was pinned to the ground. He continued to curse and scream out until a large red feather covered his mouth muffling his rant.

“You can just stay there until police come and explain yourself to them.” His large wings began to flap hard as he started to fly away from the park. “How about we get you some place safe for now, chickadee.” You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck. He chuckled at your movements while taking out a phone with his free hand. He had a short conversation with who you assumed was the police on the other end where he explained that a hero went rogue in the park.

After a short flight he gently landed on your balcony. Slowly you unwrapped yourself from Hawks body instantly missing his protective touch. You walked over to the sliding door feeling thankful that because you lived so high up you left the door unlocked. While opening the door you missed the inquisitive look that flashed over Hawks face as he watched you.

“Can I offer you something to drink.” You felt awkward about the whole interaction and very uncertain about what to say. I’m sure you have many things you want to ask me after ... well, that.” You shrugged and averted your eyes before walking into the kitchen. Hawks sent a few feathers around your small apartment while your back was turned. When you reached the sink to fill a class with water you looked over to see him plop onto your sofa.

“Is it true chickadee?” He leaned back with his arms behind his head. You could see the grooves of his abs through his thin tight shirt. He placed his feet up onto your coffee table and for a moment you wondered when he had the chance to take off his shoes. His golden eyes watched you walk back into the room.

“Is what true?” You felt hesitant as you handed him a glass of water. His gaze on you felt intimidating like a lion watching over their pray. His smile was deceptively bright and kind. You sat in a on the sofa next to him with as much space you could make between the two of you. Slowly you started to sip on your water. Hawks pretended to drink from his cup before placing it on the coffee table.

“Are you really dating a villain?” You spit out your water and began to cough. Hawks’ deep chuckles echoed alongside your gasping. He pulled you closer to him as he lightly rubbed your back.

You took a breath in as you shook your head ‘no’ to his question. “No -No,” You sternly said. I had a one-night stand a while back but at the time I didn’t know the guy was a villain and I later went to the police about him. I did that after that poor kid was kidnapped and my ex found out about who I slept with from his cop friends.” You started to avoid eye contact with Hawks as quilt over being with Dabi took over.

“You seem to have really bad luck with men, chickadee.” The hand that was resting on your back snaked around to gently stroke up and down your arm. You felt comforted by him and the tears you held in started to come out as relief filled you. He pulled you into a side hug as his free hand wiped away your tears. “Don’t waste your tears on that gorilla.” He gently led your chin up to face him.

There was a pregnant silence as he locked eyes with you. Your blush became intense as you realized the hottie Hawks was in your apartment holding you close to him. “Does that mean you’re single, chickadee?” there was a slight purr to his voice.

“Yess- I’m, I’m single.”  His thumb gently stroked along your jaw line as he kept your focus on him. Your legs stated to rub together, and the subtle shift caused a smug smirk to cross his face.

Hawks slowly leaned in closer to your face tilting, so his breath fanned your ear. “How about I show you want its like to be with a real hero?” When he noticed his sultry words caused you to smile, he lightly rand his nose across your cheek. He pulled his face back away, so you were able to look into his lust filled eyes. His hand was now holding your chin in place dominating your movements. “I need an answer Chickadee... if you want me to continue that is.”

You started to nod your head ‘yes’. Hawks held your face tighter stopping your movements and pulled your face closer to his. His nose lightly grazed yours. “I need words chickadee,” his voice was a sultry deep whisper next to your lips.

“Y-Yes, I…” before you could finish what you wanted to say Hawks crashed his lips on to yours. He pulled away slightly and slipped his thumb into your mouth pulling out your tongue. For only a second you could see the primal lust in his eyes before he started to dominate the inside of your mouth with his tongue.

He smoothly slid you to straddle his lap while still aggressively kiss you. You could hear his feathers fluttering as you both adjusted. His hand tightly gripped your hips as he helped grind you over the thick hard bulge in his pants. You broke the kiss letting out a wonton moan from the sensation. One hand left your hip and started to gently cup your face. On instinct you nuzzled into his hand.

“Such a good girl, (Y/N). My beautiful chickadee.” His praise caused butterflies to spin in the pit of your stomach. His gentle touch caused goose bumps on your skin and each wet kiss left a chill from the air. Blinded by your own lust you were unable to notice when Hawks slit his hand along your clothed slit. “You’re so wet already.” A small squeak escaped you as your face showed your embarrassment at his discovery. You started to stutter out a failed excuse when he quickly began to shush you. “I don’t want to hear anything out of your mouth unless it’s moaning. So how about we take this to a place that’s a bit more comfortable, yeah?”

Even though he had asked you a question it turned out to be rhetorical. He scooped your legs around his waist as he stood up. His hand sneaking large handfuls of your butt with rough squeezes as he walked. His deep kiss distracted you from the fact he knew exactly where he was going in your apartment despite it being the first time he was there.

Your butt gently bounced on the mattress. When he stood before you the only question you had was ‘when did he take off his shirt?’ You didn’t get much time to ponder your thought when his feather lifted your shirt from your body.

His fingers lased into your hair with the other hand deeply massaging one of your breasts as he deeply kissed you. Slowly he leaned you to lay flat on your back with your legs dangling over the edge of your bed.   He pushed your legs apart with firm hands on your thighs. Hawks trailed gentle kisses as he went down your body to your stretchy leggings.  He bit into the soft skin of your lower stomach while slipping is fingers under the hem of your pants.

He tugged your pants off and began to deeply rub his nose across the front of your panties. “You smell so good chickadee. I wonder how many times I can make you cum on my tongue.” He placed a gentle kiss at the top of you clothed lower lips. You could hear his wings adjust as he sat on his knees between your legs. Your legs were placed over his shoulders locked in place by his strong arms.

You placed a hand over your mouth to try and muffle the moans. Hawks noticed stopped his attack of your clothed delicate area and peeked up at you. “I said I wanted to hear you moan my chickadee.” Strong red feathers quickly pinned your wrists above your head. You wiggled in a failed attempt to get free.

“Hawks? AH.. ahhhh Hawks!”

“That’s better. Now be a good girl and cum all over my tongue.”

Hawks slid your panties to the side allowing him to plunge his tongue deep into your entrance. One of his hands danced gently on your clit. More feathers covered your body stroking over sensitive areas of skin. He carefully listened to each moan and hitch of your breath allowing him to adjust quickly to best please you.

“O-God Hawks!” A blinding orgasm crashed over you. He lapped up your juices and slid two fingers inside you while licking up and down your slit. Slowly he pumped his digits while you rode out your high. He slowly scissored and stretch your entrance before slipping a third finger in and increasing the speed of his thrusts. The nonstop pleasure he gave you quickly cause you to cum once again only this time your orgasm crashed harder over you.

“A squirter? Damn that was hot chickadee.” Hawks released his grip on your thigh as he gently licked and sucked up your juices from his fingers. “Spread your legs. I want to see the mess you’ve made.” You felt exhausted trying to catch your breath but somehow managed to open your legs wider for him.

Slowly the stars faded from your vision, and you gazed upon the handsome winged hero that was standing smugly between your limp legs. His face glistened with your juices and your eyes trailed down his chiseled body to see him in only a tight gray boxer brief. His hard twitching bulge was hardly hidden by the cotton fabric. A damp spot of precum started to form. He chuckled watching you drink in the sight of him.

“Hope you’re not tired already because this is nothing. You’re not going to be able to walk once I’m done with you.” He slid his shorts down to freeing his member. It bounced for a moment off his stomach leaving a thin trail of precum. He was long and slender with a thick vain that ran along his length.

“Ready for me?” He knew your eyes were lustfully locked on his member, so he tensed his muscles causing it to bounce a few times. “Like what you see?” His ego could be seen from space, but you couldn’t argue with him in that moment.

Gentle feathers slipped your panties off your body. He drank in the sight of you bare before him. “So beautiful chickadee. I want you so bad. I can't hold back anymore"

With those sweet words he gripped himself and began to rub his head along your slit enjoying the feel of your juices. He rubbed him self on your entrance with slight pressure and then would pull back to rub along your slit once again. The teasing was agonizing. You tried to push your hips into him, but his feathers still had you pinned in place.

“Please Hawks, I want you inside me.”

With a smooth thrust he pushed his full length inside in you. A pleasurable scream escaped you. He stilled for a moment rubbing his thumb over your clit allow you a chance to adjust to his size. Slowly he began to move his hips.

“Oh chickadee you feel so damn tight. Your .. FFUCK.. milking me.” His rhythm picked up and he soon began to flutter his wings aiding in his deep harsh trusts into you.

You began to writhe and cry out under him. He continued to harshly pound himself into you as two more orgasms hit you. He slowed down slightly and locked a deep kiss with you. Within seconds of kissing, you he was moaning into your mouth and a heat rushed into your womb.  Peppering light kisses on your cheek and neck while slowly pulling out of you.

His feathers were released from your body. You laid there unable to move panting heavily. Exhaustion from the multiple orgasms was taking over you as your eyes could barely keep focused. Gentle hands stroked your face and sweet whispers of praise coaxed you to sleep.

Hawks had his feather swiftly slide you up the bed to a more comfortable spot. While you slept peacefully, he took a quick photo of you before tucking you under the blanket. He tucked himself back into his clothing and walked out to your balcony.

The crisp evening air blew past his face and the lowering sun painted the sky with vibrant colors.  Hawks pulled out his phone sent a quick text before he was able to slide his phone into his pocket it rang. He laughed when he recognized it being the number, he just texted.

“Hey Dabi.”

#mha hawks #hawks smut #mha smut #hawks x reader #bnha smut #keigo smut #keigo x you #my hero x reader

[so-writing]

Sugar, Honey, Ice and Tea - Matthew Tkachuk (4)

This part is shorter than I'd like but it felt right to end it here. also trash edits I'm sorry

-

all parts in the master list

Sleep. 

All he wanted to do was fucking sleep. 

The medics cleared Matthew and as soon he was back out on the ice, he made damn sure to get revenge on the asshole that had bodied him. He didn’t do it in a form of physical retaliation though, opting instead to rip the puck from the man’s grasp and score the game winning goal. 

It wasn’t even a home game but there were enough screaming fans present that they probably could’ve blown the roof off the arena. 

The win was incredible, their fourth in a row, but Matthew was tired. Mentally, he was fine, and he didn’t have any serious physical injuries but a hit that hard was going to have anyone feeling incredibly sore and beaten up. 

His sights were set on the hard hotel bed he had to share with someone he didn’t particularly like but the guys weren’t having it.

“Chuky! We’re going out tonight!” 

“You’re going out tonight,” he corrected, “i’m going to bed.”

“Come on, man, you have to come out! Game winning goal! Let’s drink about it!” 

It was the last thing in the world that Matthew wanted to do, but his team wanted him to go and so, reluctantly, he found himself sat at a high top table with a double shot of vodka sitting in front of him. 

“Fuck it, I guess, we won!” 

He threw the alcohol back like it was water and slammed the shot glass down on the table. He hadn’t eaten much that day, his nutritionist would be pissed if she knew, so the liquor was hitting quicker than normal.

“You want another, chuky?”

“You know I fucking do!”

*

The boys had gone out to celebrate and you planned to do the same with a few slight differences. Instead of shots in a loud bar, you stopped to grab a bottle of wine before returning to put on your favorite pajamas and hooking your laptop up to the hotel TV to binge the shitty reality show you were currently all about. 

Hours passed and as soon as you found the bottom of the bottle of your wine, you were ready to pass out. 

“Shit,” you said to the empty hotel room, “need to brush my teeth.”

The amount of wine you’d consumed didn’t hit you until you tried to stand up.

“Fuck,” again to no one, “maybe not.”

Dropping back to the bed and laying there for a minute, you prepared yourself to make the incredibly short trip to the bathroom to brush your teeth. 

“You can do it, you’re a good one! You got this!” 

Launching your body from the bed, you ran to the bathroom and burst into a fit of giggles as soon as you saw your reflection in the mirror.

“Oh my god! I’m drunk!” 

The booming male voice scared the shit out of you, but even in your drunken state, you realized it was Matthew.

“There’s no need to give a girl a fucking heart attack, Chuk!” 

You were halfway through brushing your teeth, toothpaste running down your chin, when you exited the bathroom to see him laying spread eagle on the floor beside the bed.

“Who the fuck is Chuk?”

It was hard to understand, and despite your own inebriation, it was obvious he was too far gone.

“You, idiot.”

“Don’t call me that! You are the one that is the idiot!” 

It was hard to take him seriously when he was rolling around on the floor in front of you, so it was no surprise that he got offensive when you laughed at him. 

“Stop laughing! I’m important!” 

“Oh yeah? To who?” 

“To the Flames!”

“Who is that?”

“What?!” 

He sat up immediately, rocking side to side as he began to explain, “the Flames are my team. I love those guys. We’re going to win a fucking cup!” 

There was something so innocent about his drunken rant. Something so innocent and adorable that you wanted to pull his drunk ass into a big hug. 

You didn’t though. You knew better. The working relationship between yourself and Matthew was hanging by a thread and the last thing you needed was some drunken bullshit making it that much harder. 

“I hope you do win a cup, Matthew.”

“Matthew again,” he whined, “I thought we were past that.”

“Sorry,” you corrected as you hid the smile behind the hand over your face, “I hope you win a cup, Matt.”

“Me too. Fuck!” 

He stood up and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body into his.

“I really want to win this year,” Matthew purred in your ear. 

What the fuck was happening? Your body was pressed against Matthew’s hard abs and thighs and chest. You didn’t get along until literally yesterday but here he was wrapping himself around you like you had been lovers for years.

“I know, I want you to win too.”

You knew better than to lean into him. Matthew Tkachuk was someone you’d never gotten along with and were still very much on the fence about but feeling the heat of his body against yours had you questioning fucking everything. 

The wine coursing through your system didn’t help. 

“Can we cuddle? I just want to sleep and I want to hold someone.” 

“Someone?” 

It was bold and even though you were drunk you knew it.

“I want to hold you.”

“Okay.”

You fell into bed with Matthew with all the ease in the world. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you as close to him as he could. 

It was drunken debauchery and nothing more. 

*

“Holy fucking shit, my head is fucking pounding.”

“Keep it down, asshole, you’re not the only one.”

You didn’t realize you weren’t alone in bed until you felt the weight of an arm wrapped around your waist. 

Holy shit. There was no way.

Slowly rolling over, you were met with the face of Matthew Tkachuk. His curls were wild and he could barely open his eyes.

“We both drank a lot. Go back to bed. Late practice today, no game.” 

Being in no mood to argue, and also incredibly tired, you took his advice. 

*

Waking up pressed into a beautiful woman wasn’t new to Matthew. 

He felt incredibly sluggish and tired but she wasn’t up so he tried his best to settle back into the bed and move as little as he could. 

Her body was warm and he found himself pulling her waist closer to his own and enjoying the feeling of their bodies pressed together. It wasn’t until she began to wake up that he realized who he was in bed with. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

They had agreed to be kind of friends but there was no way she would continue to honor that deal with his morning wood shoved into her back. 

#Matthew Tkachuk #Matthew Tkachuk imagine #matt tkachuk #nhl imagine #Calgary Flames imagine #Tkachuk imagine

[lexwritess]

hii! i saw that your requests were open and wondered if you could do like an angsty xavier x reader? with the prompts 38. and 19? thank you <3 !

why’d you only call me when your high? [x.p.]

pairing: xavier plymton x reader

warnings: dr*g ab*use, fighting, angst, smut, swearing, cheating, both y/n and xavier are assholes, it’s a fucking lot okay? it’s good tho promise!

college au!

italics is flashbacks

normal text is present time

-

xavier fucking plymton.

you had some sort of an idea what you were getting into once you befriended the gorgeous blonde hair idiot but you never imagined this.

“xav, get over here!” montana shouted among the loud music and drunk students.

“meet my friend y/n! she’s super chill, i think i’m gonna make her join the group.” montana smiles.

“make me?” you raise and eyebrow at the blonde.

“oh yeah, montana isn’t to keen on asking people if they want to do things. you’ll end up doing it anyway.” xavier jokes.

“i guess i just got that kind of charm. i’m gonna go fill my drink!” montana walks away.

“xavier.” xavier introduces himself and extends his arm out to you.

“y/n.” you reply and meet his hand to shake it.

“you go to school here?” you asks xavier.

“no, i do go to the improv classes after school hours though.” he replies, leaning in closer to you.

“oh really that’s cool! what’s your interest in that?” you ask.

“i’m going to be a famous actor!” he says cockily.

“oh yeah?” you ask with an amused smirk on your face.

“yeah, i’m already in tons of commercials.” he gives a smile back to you.

you giggle and look around the cramped frat house.

“you wanna get out of here? there’s a really good pizza place down a couple blocks.” you ask xavier, hoping he agrees.

“hell yeah, this place sucks ass.” xavier says happily and grabs his jacket.

“wait wait wait, you’re telling me you did a commercial for some weird ass dildo in japan?” you laugh loudly.

“shhhh!” xavier laughs and pushes his finger against your slightly chapped lips.

“i didn’t know! it was before i had an agent and i was desperate for a gig.” xavier exclaims.

“mmm, japaneseeee dildoooo.” you giggle abruptly.

“oh my god y/n keep it down! are you sure you’re not drunk?” xavier quirks an eyebrow at you.

“i was just at a frat house for three hours with montana fucking duke as my tour guide...i’m drunk.” you giggle again.

“good point there.” xavier laughs at you.

“you can’t act innocent. you’re just as drunk as me!” you cross your arms and look at him.

“well yes, but i never said i wasn’t.” xavier gives you a smug look and takes a drink of his soda.

“yeah yeah whatever.” you playfully roll your eyes and take the drink out of his hand to take a sip.

“do you have a bucket list?” xavier asks.

“no, i don’t think so? i mean there’s things i wanna do but i don’t have them all sorted out.” you reply, shrugging your shoulders.

“well what’s one thing, anything in the world, you want to do and we’ll go do it?” xavier smiles.

“well...i’ve always wanted to hook up with a famous actor.”

“fuck xav!” you moan out as xavier thrusts increase in speed.

“shit y/n.” xaviers eyes roll back as he breathes deeply.

xavier moves your legs so they’re above his shoulders. making him go deeper, causing you both to moan loudly.

“fuck y/n you’re so fucking tight for me. so fucking tight.” xavier grunts, pining your hands above your head.

“shittt, xavier! i’m going to cum!” you moan into his ear.

“i’m almost there.” xavier says in a breathy voice.

“fuck xavier please!” you plead, tightening around him.

“shit shit...go ahead cum for me!” xavier’s thrusts get sloppy as he gets closer to his peak.

your walls clench around him one last time before you both finish.

“fuck that was good.” you giggle and xavier pulls out with a big smirk on his face.

“glad i could cross that off on your bucket list.” he smiles and gets under the covers.

“goodnight x.” you say sleepily and scoot closer.

“night y/n/n.” xavier says softly and wraps his arms around you before falling asleep.

that’s the night you thought you found your perfect person, but nothings ever perfect.

“we’ve just been on a few dates mon, it’s nothing serious!” you explain to montana.

she had found out about you and xaviers “relationship” you don’t think it’s a big deal. you’re just friends.

“what about all the hot dirty sex i’ve heard about?” montana looks at you with her eyebrows raised.

you rolls your eyes at her.

maybe you and xavier aren’t exactly just friends.

“keep your eyes on the road.” you tell her, avoiding the question.

it was her turn to roll her eyes at you.

“okay, you’re still not answering the question.” montana points out.

“okay! maybe we have sex sometimes but it’s normal! a little...” you give her a sheepish smile and she just laughs at your stupidity.

“don’t tell him but i kind of really like him. i like the way his eyes widen when he talks about acting or the way he gives side comments that fly right over chets head, or the way he has to remake his sandwich when we go out to eat because he has this very specific order-.” you rant while montana cuts you off.

“okay, you’re in love with him! why don’t you date him already!” montana shouts.

“he’s just been distant i don’t know...he’s only been calling me over to hook up i think somethings wrong.” you say glumly.

“you should go over and check on him, his apartment isn’t far away from aaron’s. want me to drop you off?” montana offers.

you debate her offer. you don’t just wanna show up uninvited but you did talk about coming over earlier.

“yeah sure if you don’t mind.”

you knock on the door of the apartment complex waiting for your favorite blonde bimbo.

when there was no answer you turn the handle to see if the door was locked.

you open the door and walk into the house a little.

“xavier?” you call out.

no answer.

“xav?” you ask again walking towards his room.

you smile when you see the sight of xavier sleeping soundly in his bed, little snores leaving his mouth once in a while.

you walk around his room admiring the many polaroids of him and his friends.

you grin when you find the one of the night you met.

you take it off the wall to take a closer took at it but you knock something over.

“oops.” you mutter to yourself and bend down to pick it up.

you pick up a small orange bottle with the words oxycodone written on it.

not prescribed to xavier.

you look at the location it fell and found another bottle of pills.

you don’t bother to look at the lable of it and put the other one back.

“what the hell?” you say quietly, tears brimming your eyes.

“y/n?” a groggy voice fills your ears.

you don’t say anything and walk out of his bedroom out to the kitchen.

“wait y/n where are you going?” xavier asks rushes out to stop you from leaving.

“you didn’t tell me you were an addict.” you say just above a whisper.

xaviers face goes white and he runs a hand through his hair.

“you weren’t suppose to find out like this.” he says quietly.

“were you ever going to tell me?” you ask louder this time, making contact with his icy blue eyes.

“of course i was going to tell you.” xavier grabs you wrist pulling you close to him.

“were you high all the times we hung out?”

“no! not all of them...” xavier looks away uneasy.

“the past couple times we fucked?” you ask him with an attitude.

xavier looks at you and a tear runs down his face.

you scoff and continue to put your shoes on.

“y/n, please don’t go! i’ll stop! i’ll drop the pills.” xavier pleads.

“why do you even want me to stay? you won’t commit to me, you don’t wanna hang out with me normally anymore, and you only call me over when you’re high! im fucking tired xavier!” you shout, tears streaming down your face.

“please, i love you. i’ll stop for you.” xavier pleads again.

“you love me?” you ask him with wide eyes.

“yeah.” xavier breathes, his face inches from yours.

“you promise you’ll stop with the pills?” you ask xavier, extending your pinky finger towards him.

“promise.” xavier whispers and intertwines his pinky with yours.

he technically never did break that promise.

“remind me again why we’re getting ice cream ten o’clock at night?” you ask your group of friends with a smile.

“because we’re fucking cool.” montana replies.

“i wish we would of took a car, it’s freezing out.” brooke shivers.

“here! take my jacket.” chet removes his jacket and places it around brookes shoulders.

“you guys are disgusting.” you laugh, taking a bite of your ice cream.

“oh c’mon y/n/n, let them enjoy being in love!” ray jokes, nudging your shoulder.

“yeah, you’re just mad xavier didn’t show.” chet says while shoving a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

“wait you told me xavier had an audition?” montana asks you confused.

“i know...i’m sorry i lied. i’m just worried and i didn’t want to think about it.” you say quietly.

the group looks at you with remorse and ray wraps a comforting arm around you.

“guys be careful going around this corner, lots of junkies.” chet says distastefully.

everyone picks up the pace a little walking down the alleyway to get back to the main street.

you turn your head to look towards a group of people when you recognize someone familiar.

“holy shit.” you say with tears brimming your eyes.

“guys be quiet and fast now.” you say urgently and you quickly get back to the main road.

“y/n what’s wrong?” brooke asks.

“xav-xavier was back there.” you say with a shaky breath.

“i think i’m going to head out...i’ll see you at home tana. thanks for ice cream.” you say quickly, walking past them to haul down a cab.

you got and the cab and told the driver to go to Arrow street.

which is not where your apartment is, but xaviers.

you had a key to his apartment so you just let yourself in and sat on the couch waiting for him to come home.

that’s until you saw a glimpse of orange in the garbage.

needles.

you didn’t want it to be true you did everything you could to try to convince yourself it was for something medical, but the more you looked around the apartment and saw the scattered needles in his bedroom you couldn’t.

“y/n, shit you scared me!” xavier laughs nervously.

“you disgust me.” you say say standing up, turning around to face him.

“what?” xavier knots his eyes brows in confusion.

“listen, you don’t think i know but i fucking know. i know you xavier. you’re not secretive i know when you’re not yourself, but heroin! seriously?” you ask the boy you love with tears streaming down your cheeks.

“babe-.”

“no! don’t do that shit! you’re in deep shit now. you know that? i do everything for you and you don’t make me feel like it’s worth it...you make me feel worthless! you lie to me, you’re high every time we’re together, and you blow me off to go buy dirty needles off junkies! it fucking hurts!” you scream, finally telling xavier how you feel.

“is it all worth it? is being high all the time worth it? it is worth to lose me?” you ask bitterly.

“no, no it’s not...” xavier says quietly as a tear rolls down his face.

“then why don’t you get help!” you say with anger.

“i will! i will please, one more chance just give me one more chance please!” xavier sobs.

you direct your gaze towards the floor as xavier steps closer to you.

“one more chance.” xavier says again, grabbing the side of your face, tilting your head up to look at him.

“are you high right now?” your voice hoarse from the fighting earlier.

“no, and i’ll flush the rest of them down the toilet right now.”

and you gave him another chance, and another chance, and another fucking chance.

always luring you with the dates, his jokes, the sex, his charm, the i love yous, and you would forgive him every time.

almost every time.

“how could you?” you say with a shaky voice, tears threatening to spill.

xavier told you that he wanted to have a movie night later that night, but when 8 o’clock rolled around and you walked into his room, you wish you never would of went.

seeing a girl on her knees in front of your boyfriend and him enjoying it killed you.

“you need to leave now.” you tell the girl.

she muttered a sorry and left the apartment.

xavier opened his mouth to say something but you didn’t want to hear it.

“don’t fucking lie to me right now, is this the first time?” you ask.

“no, i’ll never do it again please-.”

“xavier!” you say sternly.

xavier inhales sharply. “no this isn’t the first time, i’m sorry.” he sighs.

“you’re always sorry aren’t you? did you guys fuck?” you ask, clearly irritated with xavier.

“yes.” you can barely hear him.

“i fucking hate you xavier plymton...you ruined me!” you shout, letting all your emotions wash over you.

“you know it’s not like you’ve been fucking perfect either!” xavier yells, he’s never yelled at you like this before.

“i didn’t fucking cheat on you!”

“you’ve been distant. when i need you, you’re not here. you’re out drinking, or hanging out with fucking ray! i needed someone so sorry i was fucking that bitch but you weren’t here.” xavier shoots back.

“are you fucking blaming me? the only reason i’m drinking and hanging out with ray is because you choose drugs over everyone! you’re not the same guy i fell in love with. you say you love me xavier but it doesn’t feel like it...” your sentence trails off at the end, you’re not sure you can argue much longer you’re feeling yourself breaking.

“well maybe it’s because i don’t love you! you’re always on my back and you never shut the fuck up!” xavier hisses.

you’re speechless.

xavier doesn’t love you?

you can see the regret in his face after the words leave his mouth.

“don’t talk to me ever again, i swear to god xavier. never again.” you say as calm as possible, leaving the apartment building.

you go outside and let all your emotions out. your back slides against the wall as you bury yourself in your knees and start sobbing.

you pull out your phone and try your best to see through your teary vision for montana’s contact.

“y/n what’s up?” she asks.

“mon, i, i really need you to come pick me up.” you hiccup.

“shit, of course. where are you?” montana asks with concern.

“xaviers...”

you hear her sigh on the other side of the phone.

“be there in 5.”

“that son of a bitch! i’m so sorry y/n, this is my fault.” montana rubs your back for comfort.

“it’s not your fault, he changed.” you say, your voice raspy from all the screaming and crying.

“i just, i don’t think i can see him for a long time.” you say quietly, burying your face into your pillows.

“fuck, y/n my works calling, i’ll be back im going to call off.” montana starts walking out of your room.

“no, i’ll be fine. don’t call off.” you tell her.

“no, y/n it’s fine.”

“mon you call off all the time, they’ll fire you.” you give a little laugh.

“are you sure?” she sighs heavily.

“yes! now go i’ll see you later.” you shoo her away.

you never thought that day could of got worse.

you groan at the noise of someone knocking at your door.

“montana you have a key!” you complain, going to open the door.

you’re taken a back when you open the door to see two police officers.

“can i help you?” you ask nervously.

“you are y/n y/l/n, correct?” the one on the left asks.

“yes, am i in trouble?” you ask confused.

“no of course not, you’re number one in xavier plymtons emergency contacts so we decided to come to you.” the other answers.

you blood runs cold as a million possibilities rack through your brain.

“we regret to inform you that xavier has passed.”

you swear your vision went black for a second.

he’s not gone.

he can’t be gone.

“what, what happened? i-i just saw him two hours.” you stutter.

“he was found outside his apartment, needle in his arm-.” the woman officer cuts her partner off and mumbles something about being to blunt.

“he overdosed, heroin. i’m so sorry baby.” she looks at you with pitty.

“thanks for telling me...” you say so quiet you’re surprised they heard you.

they say goodbye again and you shut the door.

“no,no,no,no!” you scream falling to the ground.

“why the fuck would you do that? why why why why?” you tell again, tugging at your hair.

you let out a loud, heartbreaking sob and fall onto your knees.

“i didn’t mean what i said...i didn’t mean it i wanted you to talk to me i was just angry. you were angry. fuck fuck!” you wail out again.

xavier fucking plymton .

#ahs #american horror story #ahs 1984 #american horror story 1984 #cody fern #cody fern x reader #xavier plymton #xavier plympton x reader #michael langdon #michael langdon x reader #evan peters #evan peters x reader

[miyaniacs]

So I asked for comfort a couple days ago because my parents are getting a divorce (tendou, sakusa, kita) I didn’t mention that my parents are making me choose that if I wanna move back to Finland with my mom but I think i will stay

okay soooo - let me just say, that if you wanna talk with someone who has nothing to do with all of this, just so you can rant / talk etc - my messages are open ❤️ - that's for everyone who feels the need to just tell someone what's bothering / troubling them just to finally let to all out - personally for me this always helps 

Also sorry if this is kinda trashy. I’m editing pictures for 3 hours now and and wrote this just now while the pictures are saving ( for real one model is black and  the other white and the other Asian anddd the lightning is all over the place)

masterlist 

Comfort HC : Parents getting divorced 

Sakusa

So he realized that something is off

Your energy is just different

So he comforts you and asks what’s wrong

Anddddddddddddddddd

You kind of brush it off at first

„hahah Yeah my parents get divorced and how was your week? Hahah“

And he’s like : bitch.

He just stares at you and without saying anything else he takes a deep breath and pulls you in a hug

At first he’s kinda stiff and in his head he’s like : omg omg omg germs

But when he feels your arms wrap tighter around him

And he heard those small sniffles

His phobia has to take a step back now. he‘ll just take a 2 hour long shower

Your his first priority now

you two just stand there in the middle of his room for what feels like hours

When there aren’t anymore tears left

He sits down with you on his bed

Sakusa places his fluffiest blanket around you and makes some tea

Now.

He will 100% talk with you about it

And in a really rational way

Telling the pros and cons etc

He will also tell you that you should not think about him when you decide about where you want to stay

If you move back to Finnland you’ll find a way

He just wants the best decision for YOU and YOUR future

If it will be with your mother or your dad

He will still be there for you regardless of the distance

The rest of the day, he helps you relax

Yes. I‘m talking about a massage.

And also bathing time

( if your old enough : also with him in it just enjoy some quality time, talking about nothing and everything and the lasted stupid stuff Atsumu and Bokuto did)

Tendou

Okaaaay

Now

You’re the one initiating it

You told him that you need to talk

And BUM

He’s insecure and serious again

Yes he thinks you wanna break up with him

But when you tell him what’s really up

His insecurities are pushed back

He has to be strong now for you

So he takes your hands in his and you start explaining the whole situation

How your parents feel about this

How they expect you to act

How they expect you to act all grown up

As if all of this isn’t really affacting you

That’s when Tendou interrupts you

“But now do you really feel about this y/n?”

Probably kind of taking off guard but also happy that someone is finally willing to hear like ACTUALLY hear how you feel

Youuuu start stuttering

After a few words the words spill out of you like a waterfall

Just like your tears

You finally reached your breaking point

And guess what

Your safety blanket named Tendou is already wrapped around you

Hands running over your hair and back

Placing kisses on the top of your head

When you calmed down he’s giving his best to cheer you up

Telling you that you won’t get rid of him so easily

“Sorry Baby you signed up for this - all those miles to Finnland are included in the contract”

You two will spent the night at a nearby playground

Blasting music, laughing, acting all silly and stupid

Your probs have some sore abs from all the lauging

Kita

You try to hide it

But

It’s Kita

He already knew you’re about to break down before you knew it

you planned to go out today

But he’s like : nahh let’s stay inside

Good thing you did

One of your parents probably texted you asking if you made a discussion yet

And well your lips start trembling while reading the message

Kita takes the phone out of your hand and pulls you into his chest

That’s why he wanted to stay inside

he knows you better than you know yourself

SOOO in case he was right with his assumption that you’ll break down anytime soon

He got some ice cream and chips and chocolate etc

And I mean he was right

But hny before you get the food

You two have to have the talk

When he hears your sniffing getting softer he gently pulls away

With his thumbs he whips away the last tears and gently kisses you

“Now tell me, what is up?”

And you begin to talk

He’s listening carefully- occasionally nodding telling you that he’s listing/ understanding what you try to say

After you finished he tells you his opinion on all of this

Like Sakusa I feel he’s really rational telling you the facts in the most gentle way but still he’s telling you only the truth

He’ll also makes sure to let you know that he supports you with either decision you’ll make

“Baby, please talk to me instead of keeping it all to yourself”

“I won’t leave you just because you could live in a different country. We can make thia long distance relationship work”

The rest of the night you’ll get to eat everything, cuddled up against him, while taking full advantage of his Disney + account

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #sakusa x reader #tendou x reader #kita x reader

[jacepens]

1: HamilTurn(you can differentiate if needed) or MCU, 2: Washette, 3: Anna Strong

And generally a fandom list would be nice to know what to pick from ;) (Love you♡)

You said HamilTurn or MCU and I say both, I'm going to try my best haha. But anyway, thank you!:) Apologies in advance if this gets rambly, but that's the point of this right? Anyway, for ease of scrolling sake, I'll probably put a cut if this gets long but don't worry, it's just me talking a whole bunch lol. Ok, thank you again!! <3 (love you too!)

1. Hamilton/Turn (fandom)

Favorite character: I have to say Lafayette for both. Oh and Mary

Least favorite character: I have no real reason behind this so sorry but Burr, and Simcoe for many reasons

5 favorite ships: washette, lams, hamliza, benwash, whamilton

Character I find most attractive: ...all. But I have to say overall Brian Wiles as Lafayette. That face just…🥺

Character I would marry: Mary Woodhull or Eliza

Character I would be best friends with: you know I'm not sure, but in an ideal world Lafayette (both versions) or Ben but I feel like we wouldn't be best friends. But also everyone, is that an option? Even some of the "villains" would have good stories to tell

A random thought: I feel like most people in the fandom now are so new (they joined in with the movie release!) and unaware of the uh atrocities of back in the day. And y'all are lucky, but those of us who know. Know. (yes, I was unbearable but that's ok because I was having fun, and despite what I just said: have fun in your fandoms even if you're "unbearable", just keep it welcome to all and enjoy the enthusiasm you have for it:))

An unpopular opinion: Oh boy. Maybe stop making quick judgments about people based on what they write/who they ship? There is a line, but I've genuinely never seen it crossed by anyone at least openly sooo just let people have fun? And don't say anything about something? Unless it's actually harmful but even then, keep it to a dm or something and have an open discussion. Just let people vibe, please? Especially younger fans. Just, I’ve seen a weird amount of negativity towards them. They’re kids having fun, we all used to be like that so please, be kind and patient. They’ll learn if they make a mistake. Ok? Ok cool:) (maybe not unpopular but still I wanted to say it)

My canon OTP: Am I allowed to say lams?

My non-canon OTP: washette, wow, who would've guessed? xD

Most badass character: Mary my beloved

Most epic villain: Robert Rogers hands down

Pairing I am not a fan of: no one murder me, but in general I'm just not a fan of jamilton. also whatever was the deal with Anna and Abe

Characters I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): um. Where to begin? Honestly I think every woman in Turn at one point or another, except perhaps Peggy in my opinion. Oh but especially Anna. Also Simcoe. With Hamilton, probably again everyone at some point, but the way Angelica was written just feels so overwhelmingly fictional it bugs me. (But at least Hamilton had some genuine relationships between women, not great but still)

Favorite friendship(s): Ben and Caleb, Washington and Lafayette (what?? yes, you fools. lol). It may sound a tad ~cringey~ but I generally like Hamilton's vibe with the boys, maybe it's just the gender envy, but it's kinda cute and fun.

Character I most identify with: well jeez, I won't lie but Washington. In both versions, except god knows I could never be that chill. Also a dash of Laurens.

Character I wish I could be: wow what a loaded question ummm. I don't want to be like him, but I want to be like in his position so Hamilton lol. Playing an active role but I know personally I am not cut out for a battlefield, so a desk suits me well.

2. MCU (fandom-that I am so out of date from, please take all of this with a grain of salt)

Favorite character: so when I was younger it was Tony Stark but now it’s definitely Wanda and T’challa

Least favorite character: ummm. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, I’m very out of date

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): wandavision, …ngl I can’t think of anymore, I honestly never shipped many and wandavision was like the only couple I remember really liking. Oh, I don’t know them but Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie

Character I find most attractive: embarrassing confession time, Loki was my first bad celebrity crush. Wanda now and Shuri is cute. Also Sylvie

Character I would marry: if I could, Wanda 

Character I would be best friends with: Vision and Peter Parker

A random thought: y’all it’s been so long since I’ve touched MCU I should catch up/refresh shouldn’t I?

An unpopular opinion: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. Personally, I really don’t like the movie Civil War, I think it’s what sorta made me disinterested in mcu. It’s been years since I’ve watched it so maybe I would have a completely different opinion if I saw it today, but at the time it just felt so...wrong? And childish? I literally don’t even remember why they were fighting or how that movie even ended (I feel like it just wasn’t satisfying??) but I think also, as a kid or teen watching that, it reminded me sooo much of the dumb drama that, you know, kids get into. I mean, getting your friends on someone’s side like that?? Like, I know they were mad but- but there are other ways of dealing with emotions??? And involving everyone's friends too? So yeah, it just felt off to me at the time, and looking back now, from what I remember, it just frustrated me. Especially as a kid who deals with dumb drama like that all the time, kids would want to see a better example especially from adult superheroes or at least not be reminded of the bs they have to go through sometimes. But, rant over, that’s all just my opinion:) 

My canon OTP: wandavision

My non-canon OTP: ummm. I guess just Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie lol

Most badass character: I have to say Natasha but actually there are many

Most epic villain: when I was younger I liked that Ultron was voiced by Robert California from the Office lol

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t know if it’s popular but I never liked Tony and Pepper. What happened with her?

Characters I feel the writers screwed up: I guess I’ll say Thor because I just felt such a weird difference in his personality that did not make sense to me

Favorite friendship: Wanda and Pietro!! Honestly I think a lot, there were a lot of good friendships but I can’t think of which ones are my favorite

Character I most identify with: ummmmmm. 

Character I wish I could be: My gut says Thor

3. Washette (ship-bless you<3 get ready for rambles oh no)

When I started shipping them: So I first had the thought in 7th grade while my history teacher was talking about them and my little brain went: haha that’s pretty gay. (teacher keeps talking about them) wait a fucking minute, that is pretty gay! But it wasn’t until I got sucked into Hamilton that I really started actively shipping them by reading fics and what not, but something about them became an instant favorite. And later (little personal story time) I pretty much completely stopped reading fic and being active in fandom for years and actually, when I got my first panic attack that - no joke - lasted for 5 hours, for some reason my brain (as it’s decaying lol) said I want to go and reread all my favorite washette fics and also do what I was I always too scared to do. Write!! So that night I binged the fics and found myself falling in love again, feeling all the old passion I had for them again, and the next night (still very shaken) I wrote an outline of a good ol washette confession + kiss that was extremely thoughtful and good, and honestly, I have not actually used that outline yet! Maybe I’m saving it. But yeah, this is a long answer, but I have a weird amount of attachment to them and this ship, I wish I knew why too. <3 

My thoughts: so many. Too many. First of all, I love that I have so many versions of them in my mind, right? When I started writing, I had never watched Turn but then I did and then it was like: hell yeah, another washette set. At this point, my brain has created it’s own unique version of them but it’s like, they’re so versatile! That’s one neat thing about this fandom as a whole, we get more than one character and personality and that’s just fun right?! More specifically on washette I mean, they’re just so sweet. Historically, their relationship is unique and cute, and you’d have to be a fool to think that to Washington Lafayette was just another friend. Even strictly platonically, it was something special and it’s so obvious I just love them. Ok. Enough thoughts for now <3

What makes me happy about them: the loooove, the comfort they found in each other, the fact that like every person at the time documenting them knew and understood they were special to each other like, they were just that in love. 

What makes me sad about them: oh so much that I try to ignore lol. There is the one year when Lafayette went to France and all his letters to Wash are like: “I have not received one letter from you, but it’s ok, I love you and I know you love me too :)” WHO WAS NOT DELIVERING THESE LETTERS, I HAVE NAMES, NOW I WANT ANSWERS. Anyway, also just most things that happened when Laf went back to France. And then when he visited America in 1824 and visited Washington’s grave. Yeah. ow. (also, you know what, I have done too much research on this event. lmk if you would like a post)

Things done in fanfic that annoy me: Generally, I’m not annoyed by much in fanfic at least with them and what I’ve seen. I’m still nostalgic for the old school nonbinary Laf fics, so it ain’t those. Literally maybe it’s because I’m starved for content but I can’t really think of anything, I love it all.

Things I look for in fanfic: back to the whole starved for content thing, I am a library of washette fics but I think if I was to pick a certain thing that I would love it’s just um fluff? And honesty, if that makes sense. Love confessions are very good as well. Canon era, please :) pining but not too much that it hurts me lol

My wishlist: literally all my wips. If I could whisk them into existence I could die happy and knowing I have put a variety of washette content in the world. Something else though, more fics :’) I love writing but sometimes I want to curl up with a cozy, new washette fic like a cup of hot chocolate and be surprised and learn something new and just..yeah:)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: what. Ok but actually, Martha and Adrienne because they are both honestly perfect for them and I love them too (I’m going to be biased, especially Adrienne)

My happily ever after for them: Can Lafayette just move the family to America? But also, it’s sad, but like I know Laf would be sad in America while France suffers. So...maybe a world where things in France go better and Lafayette gets to visit Washington more often and bring the family!! (Washington visit France too??)

4. Anna Strong (character)

How I feel about this character: I like her! She’s fun and…strong (oops lol) and she’s made some mistakes sure, but I feel like she did her best to learn from them and move on

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, I know they didn’t have a lot of interaction in the show but Anna/Mary has potential. And Anna/Edmund

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and Ben and Caleb

My unpopular opinion about this character: I really can’t think of anything unpopular

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in general, her having more screen time with less men you know? I mean like one-on-one kind of scenes. Also I would’ve liked to see at least her and Selah talk. Like, really talk. They never really did that, right? I just have so many questions about them

Favorite friendship for this character: Anna and Ben

My crossover ship: I have no idea

And well, I know it’s been a few days but for a fandom list, I’m just a weeb lol but here

Octopath Traveler (my beloved)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Star Wars

Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

Persona 4

Zelda (to a point)

Pokémon

What We Do in the Shadows

Sailor Moon

Literally anything historical

Ok!! I tried to add a lot because I’m not sure what you might know or not haha. But thank you again!! I had fun <3

#ask game

[promethes]

how an idiot like me got into good schools

A quick run-through of my academic history and how I got into good colleges will be below the cut! I’m also including a list of some of the schools I got into for reference. I apologize in advance for how messy this is, but my memory is shitty and I remember random things that I keep throwing in lol. (and for people congratulating me, thank you very much, but I got into all these schools last year lol! so keep in mind I graduated high school in 2019)

If all you came for are the basic stats and you don't want my rambling: I went to a public school GPA: around 4.4 on 4.0 scale (3.9 unweighted) SAT: 1520/1600 APs: 10 (4 3s, 2 4s, 4 5s) Extracurricular: mainly NHS (around 300 volunteering hours), StuCo, Varsity Golf, and Quiz Bowl

EDIT: comments made by the readers who reviewed my application are available here!

First off, I am not an einstein! I am blessed that I pick up on stuff easily and gifted in academics, but I’m nowhere near a genius. For a little backstory, I went to a public school in Michigan for the entirety of my pre-k - 12 education. When I was in the third grade, the district introduced an accelerated program. We took a quasi IQ test and if we tested high enough (I think the threshold was 80%? If I remember correctly I got a 97) we were put in a class that was 2 years ahead in English and Math. We stayed grouped together for the rest of our public schooling, basically a core group of around 20 people. Since we were the first year of the program and our grade was exceptionally gifted for some weird reason, it was a very high achieving group of students, so I’m going to include their stats along with mine for comparison because colleges also factor in your peers when they look at your stats.

I’ll start off with basic stats:

I got a 1520 on the SAT. My grade had around 5 - 10 people achieve over 1500. Some of them had been studying for years, while others (me) did not know that the SAT existed until that year and couldn’t afford any private tutoring and had no patience for the study books from the library. I’m lucky to have an aptitude for the skills they were testing. I did not take any SAT subject tests.

For GPA, I think I ended up with around a 4.4 on a 4.0 scale. I was around 15/350 when it came to class standing, so I was far from the valedictorian. I think our valedictorians got around a 4.6 or 4.7.

I took 10 AP tests. I got a 3 in APUSH, World History, Language and Comp (I fell asleep lol), and Chem (I will get into this class a little later). I got a 4 in Literature (I fell asleep. Again.) and in Psychology. I got a 5 in Calc AB & BC, Comp Sci Principles, and Environmental Science.

AP classes were really pushed in my high school, especially onto my grade, and I don’t like being told what to do lol so I pushed back and took fewer AP classes than most of my peers (valedictorians ended up with maybe 15? It’s crazy) and basically only took classes I was interested in or that I had to take because I had exhausted the rest of the curriculum.

I also dual-enrolled in 2 classes at the local community college since I’d exhausted the curriculum at my high school for things I wanted to do (english and comp sci). I want to make it clear that I never sat down and planned how I was going to maximize my schedule or how I’d take the most advanced classes, I just fell into it since we had already essentially skipped two grades. Most people didn’t dual enroll since they wanted the AP GPA boost.

For extracurriculars, I mainly focused on Quiz Bowl, Golf, NHS (volunteered around 350 hours in 3 years I think) and Student Government. I never had any leadership positions and just kind of fucked around most of the time. Most of my peers held several leadership positions throughout the years and did like a bazillion things. 5 of them even traveled to Europe for some science research thing where they presented their research. I was not that big of a nerd.

In junior year, I stumbled on something called Questbridge and decided to apply because I wanted the money for the scholarship. I became a Questbridge college prep scholar, which then led me to apply for the National College Match. I didn’t rank any binding schools so I didn’t match, but I did apply to several schools with their application. If you are a low-income high achieving student, I highly recommend looking them up. I was the first person in my school to do this program and encouraged my peers to do it too. I think 4 of us were Questbridge scholars.

As you can see, I had good numbers, which probably got me past the first wave of application look throughs. However, I’m fairly confident that what made me stand out was my essays. I always stress this to whoever asks me for advice: do not write a perfect essay, write YOUR essay. I can only imagine how bored those poor people are of reading about someone winning a soccer game or a spelling bee. Add some pizzazz in there. Talk about your flaws and your mistakes and your unique life experiences! 

For example, my personal essay wasn’t even in essay format! I wrote it like journal entries, focusing on my sophomore year when my life was Extra Tumultuous and I was going through homelessness. I did not say I was homeless once in the essay. I just did day by day entries of what my life was like during that time and through that the readers were able to see that I loved to read, that I am fiercely protective of my single-parent family, and they saw how I handled adversity. I want to stress that I’m not encouraging poverty porn at all. I did not write it to make the reader feel bad. I simply relayed what I thought about in a day, focusing on both big and small.

I also wrote about funny things related to academics, partly to explain my transcript and partly to be funny. This is the AP Chem thing. I actually dropped out of it after one term (so about a third of the way through) so I could dual enroll in a class I was interested in instead. My chem teacher HATED that since I was good at chemistry (hate it. Hate that subject so much) and tried to convince me to stay. One of the things he said was “You’ll never be ready for college if you don’t take this class! You wouldn’t even be able to pass the AP test!” so I said bet. dropped the class and signed up for the AP test that same day and showed up almost every day for the rest of the year and dicked around the entire class, taking naps in the back of the lab, sitting on his desk, cracking jokes about whatever he was teaching. I got a 3 on that exam purely out of spite with only half the information I needed. So write about stuff like that. It’s fun.

The fact that I had no guidance in writing the essays was actually really good for me since I just kind of let loose. My UChicago essay read like I was on crack, and they loved it so much that they literally mentioned it during the welcome speech for their little college visit in April.

And don’t sweat over the small stuff! The short answers don’t have to be perfect and mind-blowing, just answer honestly. For the “why Yale” supplemental essay I just ranted about how beautiful their library is for a good 300 words (at some point I said I needed my inhaler because it was that breathtaking. I made a Yale admissions officer read that.) I ranted about Howl’s Moving Castle to Columbia. I told them my favorite magazine was the American Girl ones for their arts and crafts! I have a friend at Columbia who literally sent them a picture of her in a duck costume as a supplement. They loved it. So don’t lose your mind trying to sound worldly and educated. You’re like. 17. Just answer honestly and don’t think too hard about it.

I was also extremely lucky to have a dedicated counselor who sat down for hours with each individual student to write fantastic letters of recommendation. She really made it clear what I had achieved and what challenges I’d faced.

So. tl;dr: I got lucky. Unless your parents donated a couple billion to the school, there are no guarantees. Sometimes you can have the stats and perfect essays and amazing extracurriculars and you can still get rejected because they don’t think you’re a good fit with the school compared to the rest of the applicants. There’s limited space in the student body. I got into schools my valedictorians didn’t get into even though I was academically less than them in every possible way. So let yourself shine through your essays and know you’ll end up in an environment that values the person they saw in those essays.

I got into a lot of schools, and don’t really have a record of all of them, but here are some of the top ones I can remember off the top of my head:

Yale, Columbia, University of Chicago (likely letter), Northwestern, University of Michigan, Northeastern, CWRU, UNC Chapel Hill, and a couple other schools here and there that slip my mind at the moment.

#og #college #college masterpost #abt me

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 18.10.20 lb

too tired to cap/upload/format, so y'all have to just make do with this mostly-text rant today.

i honestly canot stop laughing at kabir's face at this passionate defence of vansh riddhima is giving.

is it siya again who's spying on riddhima? i don't think so, coz the pov height is too high. they kinda made the pov from a lower angle in the previous two "spying" scenes.

sis indirectly broke up with him. she didn't say the actual words but that's pretty much what she's saying.

hahahahaha hung up on him too.

oh. it was mummy who was spying on riddhima.

why do mummy and kabir get shocked every three days discovering that riddhima's in love with vansh? every time they treat it like they realized it for the firssssst time.

how many times do these ppl do aarti a day???? didn't riddhima already do aarti like half an hour back, now dadi is doing it again.

chunri sambhaaal gori, udi chaliiii jaaye re!

idhar vansh is still lamenting rishte mein bharosa issues and honestly dude, this is just beating a dead horse.

at least he realises that he's being an egotistic dumbass.

“maine iss rishte ko bohut mauke de diye siya, lekin ab main zindagi ke uss maqam pe khada hoon jahan mujhe ek faisla karna hoga.”

lmao what mauke????? what the fuckkkkkkk mauke, my man??? literally list one mauka you've given it. go on, i'm waiting.

siya is like oh lord, what you gonna do. #same

wayward chunri flew all the way outta the house and has managed to lead riddhima on a decent evening walk, all the way to some godown with a statue. i'm guessing it's ragini's? it's proportions are way outta whack and it looks veryyyyy strange.

where is the back of her head???????/

now she's standing here and talking to the bloody statue saying she'll get ragini justice and having flashbacks of moments with vansh WHILE SHE'S LATE FOR THE AARTI SIS HONESTLY WHAT EVEN IS YOUR FUCKING BRAIN

lmao mummy and siya rolled in to the aarti without alerting anyone.

meanwhile riddhima finds a memory card under the statue. ah yes, coz a damp spot under a statue in a dankass storeroom is where you should keep digital storage devices.

i hope vansh planted it there to play this dumbass. i really hope so.

she finallllllllllllyyyy showed up at the aarti. when it's bloody over.

lol mummy is like “shukar hai tum prakat ho gayi, warna main toh soch rahi thi ki tum kahin jasoosi kar rahi thi.” kabir and mummy are honestly The Most Relatable in this show wrt dealing with riddhima.

again, yet another thing she's decided she's not gonna tell vansh. DUDE YOU JUSTTTTTTTTT RESOLVED TO COME CLEAN WITH HIM, LIKE LITERALLY HALF AN HOUR AGO. my goddddddd, this idiotttt girlllllllll.

fwding the ishani angre nonsense.

sis decided to NOT to use vansh's laptop in the previous scene, and now here she is, trying to get into his laptop by guessing his password. i just... smh.

lmao she's literally chanting JAI MATA DIIIIIIIII and typing in one last attempt.

ofc the password was his mom's name. (painting waali. not trishul waali.)

most unrealistic thing here is that he doesn't have any other media player installed and apparently uses the suckyass default windows player. AS IF.

video of a chick (i'm guessing this is ragini?) begging for her life taken from bhind a person who has a gun in their hand.

meanwhile gangsta hubs is taking karwats in neend. idk how the fuck he's even asleep in the first place, with 40,000 lights on in this room.

aaaaand he's up. ohhh boy.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's why they have such high backed chairs in the room. it's so people can hide behind them. what a multi utility piece of furniture!

oh god he's coming towards the chair oh lordddddd.

is his neck/chest skin naturally this clear, or is it foundation????? if it's foundation, THEN WHY CAN'T YOU JUST APPLY THIS SHADE TO HIS FACE YOU GODDAMN FUCKS??????

also how come there's no reflection of her in the window? is she a vampire???

dumbass opened the door facing it from inside, instead of backwards to make it look like she just came in and now she's lying through her teeth.

he's scowling at her bs but looks like he honestly can't be arsed to get into this shit rn so he just goes the fuck back to bed.

oh ho qaatil is lefty.  

lmaoooooooooo how fondly she's smiling while remembering vansh pulling the gun on kabir with his right hand. wifey mode truly be ridiculous.

thank god for small mercies, she decides to watch the entire footage before handing it over to kabir. 0.05% brain usage thanks to maata rani's blessings.

next morning: sis be sneaking around in vansh's kurta and ofcccccccccccc he walks in and there's a highlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy probable bump and trip and catch.

god, just fuck already.

lmaoooooooooooooooo his face.

oh ho, asking for permission to use his laptop and all. ainvayi, formality ke liye.

vansh decides to give "ek aur" mauka to her wrt bharosa and gives her the password. wouldn't be me. i'd create a whole other account on the laptop. you ain't getting into my account and seeing my deep dark secrets (like the fact that i have a wholeass trashy tellywood blog where i write >1000 words about it daily), no matter how close you are to me.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

[blarrghe]

"Watching me while I sweat from exercising" for Dorianders because... of reasons? XD

Up on AO3 or uner the cut! (the formattinig is probably better on AO3 tumblr is the actual worst)

--

Befriending Magister Dorian Pavus continued to be the worst decision Anders had made since the one that had landed him in Tevinter in the first place. Not at the least because being friends with Magister Dorian Pavus was, on a scheduling level, practically impossible. It was almost maddening, how neither of them ever seemed to have any blighted free time. There was Dorian, very important and very busy, always rushing off to meetings or press events or fundraisers or galas, only available for a quick coffee or for trying to convince Anders to go out clubbing at two in the morning. Which, frankly, he had less than no interest in doing — for several reasons, only minimally to do with the fact that the music gave him a headache (the thought of standing by and watching Dorian dance and practice his smarmy lines on attractive club goers made up most of the rest of it). And then there was his own life, overflowing with unkempt medical notes and overdue bills, and a schedule packed with night shifts and on-call hours that made maintaining a regular sleep schedule impossible, never mind a social life. But despite all that, it was nice to have someone to talk to again. Someone passionate and revolutionary and witty and… just about as lonely as he was, so better not to go messing it up. Better to try to maintain this one terrible friendship — the only one he had that wasn't with a "work friend", or a cat. It was just a really difficult thing to do, between the unrepenting workdays and restless nights filled with dreams of his beautiful Maker-damned face.

 Dorian, however, was remarkably good at being his friend. He always managed to make time. Drew it out of thin air, it seemed, conjured it up like magic between his press conferences and business trips. He had this impossibly serendipitous way of always seeming to send a text offering to meet for coffee right as Anders' break was coming up, and thanks to his own life of impossible hours he was always amenable to a spot of caffeine well into the evening. Other times, he'd offer up an address, saying "meet me here tonight if by the end of your shift you're still alive", and Anders would reply "doubtful", and then show up later anyway to the movie theater, or concert hall, or burlesque playhouse, only to fall asleep in his seat once the lights went down — which, at the burlesque playhouse at least, everyone seemed to find incredibly amusing.

 Today, his shift would be finished at an uncommonly early hour, having started at one that was painfully so. And even though his work-to-sleep ratio for the week was currently hovering at around four to one, when a text came in from Dorian during his break that read simply, "lunch later? Meet me if you have an hour free." He cheerfully replied "I'm off at noon!" And decided to postpone his much-needed afternoon nap. Friends with Dorian, he smiled, terrible decision.

  ----

Anders did not work out. Whatever strength he had he came by naturally, by way of pushing hospital equipment around and running up and down stairs all day. His calves, as a result, were particularly firm, and he had defined, if skinny, biceps. His core was probably strong enough, what with the constant balancing act that was keeping up with his daily life, but if he had wanted abs he would probably have to do something about his diet; more protein, fewer sugary carbs, meals that weren't eaten while standing on a city bus. But a personal beauty routine had always been low on his priority list. If he was looking to impress someone, he usually tried to get his bad jokes and the somewhat trashy rebel-mage aesthetic (which he also came by naturally) to do the job for him. It was not, historically, the best strategy. But he also wasn't looking. Dorian, on the other hand, had beauty routines for his beauty routines. Apparently the way to make up for the sleeplessness of a busy life was to exercise regularly, drink exceptionally expensive vitamin concoctions (despite the fact that his friend, who was a doctor, had told him repeatedly that the vitamins in such quantities were oversaturated, contradictory, and essentially useless), and to apply a laundry list of products to one's skin and hair — that, at least, seemed to work.

And so it was that when Anders showed up at the designated spot, practically asleep on his feet and slouching eagerly off the bus towards the promise of an hour of good company and food, that he discovered that the place Dorian had instructed him to meet at was not a restaurant, or even a coffee shop, but a gym. A gym with wide glass windows facing the street, so that the gorgeous, obviously affluent, gym-membership-holders could sweat it out while on display for the benefit of all the less beautiful and less lucky passersby. Or perhaps it was the other way around, and rich people got a kick out of running in place for their health while watching working folk run breathlessly after the busses that pulled up to the dirty old bus shelter on the street outside. Anders didn't know, he didn't go to gyms. But Dorian did; he went to this gym. He paid an exorbitant membership fee and wore a tight t-shirt branded with the gym's logo while he ran himself sweaty on a treadmill, spraying fancy water into his mouth like he was advertising the stuff, and towelling himself off with the clean white towels provided while still running, panting with the efforts of his impressively athletic exertions. This, Anders discovered by staring at him as he did it, through the clear glass window from the street, his mouth falling open and throat going dry until Dorian spotted him, and he snapped his mouth shut while his cheeks went red. Dorian's cheeks were also red, a bead of sweat dripping down over one in a long glistening trail from his temple. He pressed some buttons on the treadmill, slowed down to a walk, smiled, and waved. Anders, like a dumbfounded puppet on a string, raised his hand and dropped it again, in some approximation of returning the greeting.

Ten minutes later, Dorian met Anders outside the door of the clean, white and minimalist setting of the gym's lobby with his regular (still tight) clothes on and his damp hair fragrant with some kind of rich, flower-infused cream.  

"You got here faster than I expected, sorry you had to wait."

"Good bus timing," Anders shrugged, pointedly not looking at him. One intolerable sensation at a time, and he still smelled amazing.

"You know there's an app for the schedules, GPS tracking and everything." Dorian commented. Why he knew that, when he'd probably never taken public transportation in his life, Anders couldn't guess. But then, Dorian was infinitely more organized than he was; good with schedules. Anders, meanwhile, struggled to keep his own thoughts straight, never mind the kinds of itineraries that Dorian kept. So he just nodded along, certain that he would never remember to check, or even download, the recommended app.

Dorian led them up to the intersection, and pressed the button at the crosswalk, every simple movement somehow upright and deliberate. "So, lunch? I'm starving, there's a great place across the street."

Anders glanced back at the gleaming white and chrome of the gym, and the equally sleek boutiques to either side of it. He frowned, fingering the well-worn leather billfold in his pocket. "How great?" He asked, cautiously.

"Great as in healthy, all vegan food and local produce and the like." Dorian smirked at him, and Anders made the mistake of looking at it. He blushed, and frowned some more.

"Oh, great." He said, with very little enthusiasm. A twelve dollar salad and one of those ludicrous vitamin waters, just what he and his malnourished billfold needed.

"You're a doctor, you can't live on cup noodles and granola bars all the time. It sets a bad example." Dorian berated, lightly, in return.

"At least cup noodles have salt." Anders protested, "Maybe too much, but that's better than none at all. And you know organic is just a buzzword, not everything organic is healthier. And the hoops of getting branded "Organic" just make it harder for actual family owned farmers, who grow perfectly healthy crops, to market to sellers," he ranted about it, albeit halfheartedly, until Dorian sighed and shook his head.

"Which is why I said local, not organic. And I've been, I promise they use seasonings. You really think I'd debase myself by dining somewhere that didn't know how to properly use spice?"

Anders grunted, still disapproving.

"It's good, really. You'll like it there, they have cats."

"They have…?" Anders spun to watch Dorian, squinting in confusion at him as he brightened the world about him with another one of those obnoxiously perfect smiles.

"Cats, they're all very tame. You can sit with them while you eat or play with them afterwards. An endeavour of the local animal shelter to help encourage adoption, as I understand it." Dorian explained casually. Then the light changed and he set off walking. Anders followed, significantly less grumpily, though now his stomach was turning flips for an entirely different reason besides hunger.

Forget Kirkwall, actually. Befriending Dorian was, hands down, the absolute worst decision he’d ever made.

#dorianders #dorian x anders #my fic #my writing #modern au #dragon age fanfic #friends to lovers #mutual idiot pining #dorian #anders #what if we were

[eryiss]

and Im sending no. 108 just because 😏😄

Prompt: ‘God damnit, now all I can think about right now is you licking my cock like its that ice cream cone.’  Prompt List here

Pairing: Fraxus

Raiting: Explicit N S F W

Read it Elswhere: AO3, Fanfiction

"Lick My Cock Like You Lick The Ice cream."

"Goddammit," Laxus growled. "Now all I can think about is you licking my cock like you lick that ice cream."

Freed had been doing this all fucking day. From the moment the two of them had woken up, he had been in a teasing mood, and it was driving Laxus to the edge. It was all on purpose, of course, and most likely intentionally coincided with the guild's beach day.

First, he had offered Laxus to join him in the shower but locked the door before the blonde could stand. Then, he had gone on an inuendo filled rant about how hot he was under the intense summer sun, using his most spine-chilling voice. Then he'd practically performed a strip tease in the middle of the beach as he stripped himself to his swimsuit. And now he had a popsicle and was fucking deepthroating the damn thing while looking directly at him.

Laxus was barely managing to hide his boner beforehand. Now it was near impossible.

Freed didn't say anything, but Laxus knew he heard him. The rune mage removed the ice-cream from his lips and slowly, tauntingly dragged his tongue up the side of it. Laxus swallowed a little at the teasing gesture, wishing to god that Freed was doing that to him. He grinded his teeth together, partly in arousal and partly in annoyance.

Still looking at Laxus, Freed decided to forego subtlety. He pressed his lips against the tip of the ice cream in a small kiss, before trailing down the shaft of it. Laxus knew this was a challenge, to see how long Laxus could last without acting.

But Laxus wasn't in the mood to play today.

"Come with me," Laxus growled, voice husky and cracking.

He grabbed Freed by the arm and pulled him up from the towel he was sat on, the ice cream slipping out of his grasp and falling into the sand. He dragged Freed with him, the other hand in the pockets of his swimming trunks holding his erection against his thigh is an attempt to remain modest.

Small wooden cubicles lined the edge of the beach, and Laxus stormed towards one with an open door. He walked into it, dragged Freed in beside him, and locked the door behind them. Freed was grinning a triumphant smirk, clearly having gotten the reaction he wanted, but Laxus paid no mind to that. Freed had been slowly making his balls blue throughout the day with all this teasing, and Laxus was intending to remedy the situation.

"On your knees," Laxus demanded, and Freed obeyed. Good.

Apparently the teasing had been affecting Freed as well, as he didn't have gloat or have any cocky remarks. He pulled Laxus' cock out of his swimming trunks, and it fattened to its fully hardened state. Laxus watched impatiently as Freed moved towards it.

Watching Freed take his dick in his mouth was a brilliant sight. To see it fill his mouth completely, entering his throat as he took it to the root. Laxus could feel Freed's nose against his trimmed pubes, his balls against Freed's chin, his cock against Freed's hungry tongue. It was an immense sight, and an even greater feeling. Laxus would happily relish this sight for hours and hours, but he couldn't do that today.

Freed had teased all the patience out of him, after all.

Laxus grabbed Freed's head, digging his fingers deep into the other man's hair while holding his head still, before thrusting in and out of the man's mouth with speed. He fucked his face with ferocity and power, getting out any tension had had. The feeling of Freed gagging around his dick was incredible.

Freed did what he could to make the blowjob better. He used his tongue wherever possible, leaning into the thrusts as much as Laxus' hands allowed him to, and moaning which sent vibrations around him. Drool was slipping out of his mouth, and the sight was incredible to watch. Laxus leant back on the wall, abs flexing as a small groan left his lips. Having Freed's mouth around his cock was always an intense and incredible situation.

Especially when there was a risk of getting caught. Recently, Laxus discovered a love of that risk.

Bucking his hips manically, Laxus thrust deeper and deeper. The feeling of Freed's open throat homing his member was beautiful, and Laxus thrust as deep as he could. He wasn't going to last long; Freed's teasing had basically kept him on the brink of orgasm all day.

His thrusting got slower as his orgasm rushed forward, he knew he wouldn't last long but wanted to prolong this as much as he could. Freed noticed the slowing down, and Laxus felt him smirk around his dick.

Then the bastard did something that drove Laxus wild.

He pressed his lips against the quivering tip of Laxus' dick, just like he had with the ice cream. Then he trailed small kisses down his length, again like he had with the ice cream. Then he licked it slowly, taking in a dribble of pre cum on his tongue as he did so. Finally, he took Laxus' cock down his mouth in a fluid deepthroat, and it sent the blonde over the edge.

Again he thrust wildly into Freed's mouth, this time shooting his spunk as he did so. He let out a quivering moan, entire body clenched and flexing as he pushed Freed down on his dick. The man's face was buried against his pubes, forced to take in the musky stench of arousal that he was responsible for. Laxus groaned into the air as he came, riding out the high of the orgasm while watching Freed's throat bob. He was swallowing every damn drop of cum.

"Holy shit," Laxus let out a quivering breath as the orgasm ended.

He pulled his cock out of Freed's mouth and looked down at the man with a grin; a slightly sadistic one. Freed's speedo was tenting hard, his own cock straining for release. Unlike with Laxus' swimsuit, Freed had no chance of hiding it. And of course, this presented Laxus with an opportunity for some further revenge.

"Have fun sorting yourself out," He grinned, and Freed looked at him with wide eyes. "You think I'm gonna help you cum after what you've been doing today?"

"Laxus-" Freed began, but Laxus cut him off.

"You can either fuck your own hand and eat as much cum as possible so you don't make a mess," The blonde teased. "Or you can go out and let everyone see how hard your cock is. Either way, one thing's for certain."

"And what's that?" Freed grunted. Laxus took a step forward, grabbed Freed's dick over the spendex and held it tight.

"I win," He tugged a single time, electing a moan, before leaving the cabin with Freed inside it.

He was hard, had no way of hiding it. He was sweaty and his breath smelt of cum, and had just been outmanoeuvred by his lover. Laxus had backed him into a corner of his own making, and he needed to accept his fate. This was a game he began, and he had lost.

"Fuck," He sighed. A moment later, he was fucking his hand in defeat.

#fraxus #freed justine #Laxus Dreyar #writing #fairy tail #fanfic #request #prompts

[easyfella]

plaudite. acta est fabula: thots on my third vlr playthrough

annnnnd done

with all the alt timelines down and all but two secret files obtained, i’m feeling pretty good ending my 3rd (and probably last for at least a long, long time) vlr playthough at a slick 20 hours. i’m pretty excited for my dual phds in metaphysics and philosophy, earned from completing the famed “tripletion” (triple completion), to come in the mail!! anyway, i enjoyed the game, but holy shit, do i have some things to say (spoilers and everything else beneath the cut as always).

i guess i’ll start with the fact that this is a hell of time to pick this game up again, concerned as it is with quarantines and pandemics and plagues and all that. Radical-6 I think hit me harder than it did when I first played this game when i was 15 (context: i turned 21 this last december), for obvious reasons. I remember at one point the game says that 100,000 people died from R6 and it was a huge, global tragedy ... weird to see that so directly mirrored in just the US headlines alone. I don’t have much more to say about the pandemic aspect of the game, but it was a weird thing to start off my playthrough confronting. 

Like I mentioned, my first playthrough was when I was 15, my second I think I was 17, and here I am 4 years later. So why do I keep going back to this game? Well, for one, the plot is dense enough, and my brain is sparse enough, that i find myself surprised by one aspect or another every time. This time, Dio’s blackmailing Sigma to get the Axelever (sp? who cares), how much I liked K, and a lot of the plot after the final puzzle room were surprises for me. That being said, there were also things I dreaded and did not want to revisit: Quark’s and Alice’s suicidality, the part after the first AB game where you go to three different rooms and people info dump on you, most of the puzzle rooms tbh, and good god the part where Luna’s face melts off. I hate it. I hated it at 15, I hate it now. 

And, though my memories are quite fuzzy on ZTD, I’ll say (expanding on Luna’s face melting off) that this is the only game in the series that inspires genuine dread from me. I think, honestly, that it’s 70% how uncanny the models are. K is the only that looks remotely OK, and that’s because he’s a big silly suit of armor in a monk robe. On the flip side, though, this uncanny valley I think works tonally very well for the game. It makes me feel uncomfortable to look at the visuals. Half the environments look like they’re from the original Silent Hill, for God’s sake. It’s not good, but it’s serviceable, and even functional in an accidental sort of way. However, the visuals are the reason I’ve never been able to recommend this game to other people (that and the walls of text, the obscure psuedoscientific rants, the way Alice’s tits are just out ...). 999 is far-and-away the more charming game visually, but I think VLR in its own way has carved out a visual style that works, though it’s jarring initially. Though, I do wonder how approachable the game is in 2020 compared to in 2012, or in 2014 when i played it. I think our need for quality graphics and disdain for poor graphics (especially this sort of ugly, gumby shit) have only increased since. I guess if anyone has any more thoughts on how they feel about the graphics and how approachable it makes the game, pls feel free to dm me. I’d love to talk about how weird this game is.

Changing subjects, I remember liking the music quite a bit more on my earlier playthroughs. Maybe that’s nostalgia talking, or maybe I’ve just grown as a music listener since high school. Probably both. I think it’s really appropriate for the game and great for setting a mood (and I love, love the twist in the credits track), but I think some tracks were overused. “Dun dun .... Dun dun ... Dun dun”  ad nauseam. Uh oh! I know that track! Looks like something deeply horrifying is about to happen! ^_^ I sure hope it’s not that same ugly rendering of Alice being stabbed in the chest :3c (it is. it is the same ugly rendering of Alice being stabbed in the chest.)

Maybe I’ve come across as overly critical, but I do have a deep appreciation for this game. I think that it easily has the best premise I’ve ever, ever come across in a video game, and, no jokes, every game I’ve played since I first came across VLR has failed in comparison to how absolutely genius i think this game is. I’m not exaggerating. The way the plot mirrors the actions of the player, the unique incentivisation of replaying, the way it lets me just be straight up evil occasionally, the twists, the turns, the way i had to cut off my own arm using a warehouse door. the list goes on. The reveal of Zero Sr. is, I think, the most impactful twist in a piece of media i’ve ever experienced. Perhaps I’m a buffoon, but i think this game slam dunks it in terms of pure plot showmanship. that said, i think the exact details of what’s going on where and why (especially at the end irt Kyle, but that’s more of an issue to do with ZTD, and we’ll come to that when we come to that) can get quite murky. 

Admittedly, the game does explain what’s happening; in fact, oftentimes it takes an infuriating amount of time walking through the minutia of what was going on where (the infamous door and map animations are infamous for a reason), but i think that a vague gesture toward the plot is all i need, or really all i get from the game at the end of the day. For me, the plot is more of a vehicle for the scenarios of the nonary games, not the other way around. In a sense, I could care less who’s at what point in time where -- just let me brutally betray this old man in a prisoner’s dilemma situation.  And the game, after pontificating, eventually does. and I fucking love that. God, I adore just smashing that betray button. 

And that’s the fun of the game. Past the over-detailed plot, the predictable music, the gummy looking character models, I love vlr because of how it lets me interact with its world and its characters. I always get to choose either ally or betray, and what happens happens because of that choice that I made. I wish more video games operated like that. Also, I just love Phi. I know this paragraph isn’t about her, but i love rude girls. 

So, I think that’s that. VLR is a mixed bag, but I’m ecstatic that it evens exists, bizarre as it is. 

i’ll be starting my ZTD playthrough probably soon. I don’t remember much about the game besides playing on launch day, finishing it within 48 hours, and being vaguely disappointed, but it’ll be good to move on from all this murdering in VLR to a whole different set of murders.

#virtues last reward #vlr #zero escape #zero escape replay