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#i will stab you
opudont-donut · 2 years
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omg is opushart creator of shartmare au 😳
IS THAT MONSHARTIE????? MONSHART IS REAL
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necrotrigae · 2 years
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BITCH, ARE YOU TRYIN’ TO KILL ME
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You seem like a bottom
BRO??????????????? THAT WAS NOT THE QUESTION?????
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midnight-coffee94 · 8 months
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No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly
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inkk-splatters · 5 months
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I know I'm the sort of person that fanfic authors would describe as being like a kitten and I actually hate it
like
NO
I AM NOT "CUTE"
I AM A GREMLIN
A DEMON
I'LL EAT YOUR SOUL
I'LL STEAL YOUR KNEECAPS AND FUSE THEM TO YOUR SKULL
STOP THAT THIS IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE TIME FOR HEADPATS
*small, squeaky anger noises*
*grabs your hand with my murder fingernails*
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astraltrickster · 11 months
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you've heard of "diversity win!" now get ready for
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rongzhi · 1 year
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REFUSE the vile temptation of transgressive speech like “kys”.... EMBRACE responsibility and adopt the go-getter mantra: I'M going to kill YOU.
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localeggdealer · 1 year
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I'm just a blorbo, a little guy, you know... A small lad
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gguksgalaxy · 1 year
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pink is for babies
Then mayhaps...I am baby
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beybuniki · 26 days
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in hindsight, i rlly like that some of their inevitable conversations aree left covert i love to fill the gaps myself i love to think about their awkwardness :)
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More random Nimona headcanons
Bal is one of those people who isn’t allergic to anything except one random medication that no one uses 
Ambrosius calls him a lucky bastard every time it’s brought up because he’s allergic to everything 
His allergy list is at least three pages long and he doesn’t remember a single thing on that list 
Whenever they go out to eat Bal has to remind him “No you can’t eat that it has olives” “Not that either love it’s got lemon” and so on 
Most of his allergic reactions are pretty tame so he’ll eat it anyway
And it gives Bal and Nimona so much fucking anxiety 
One time Bal walked in on Nimona chasing Ambrosius around the kitchen yelling “Spit out the carrots Nemesis you don’t even like them that much!!” 
Whenever he eats alone he refers to it as a game of Russian roulette 
Bal refers to it as the reason he has high blood pressure
Because Bal and Ambrosius grew up in the limelight (for very different reasons) there are a million pictures of them through the years 
And they use those videos to bully the hell out of each other 
Bal can quote the video from the beginning of the movie not because it was an important moment in his childhood 
But because Ambrosius will quote it at the most random times throughout the day
Bal will do something small like kill a bug or chase out an animal that Nimona brought in
And he’ll hear Ambrosius mumble “I’m here to slay monsters and protect our kingdom”
He was a little worried Nimona would react badly to this habit but he started joining in 
One time he killed a spider and Ambrosius asks “Are you slaying monsters moonbeam?” Nimona yells from the other room “I’m so proud of him he’s truly protecting our kingdom” 
There are a million photos of baby Ambrosius on the internet 
And Bal made a PowerPoint presentation ranking their cuteness factor out of 10 (100 was the lowest score he got and it was a picture of him with the ugliest bowl cut you’ve ever seen)
And made Ambrosius sit through it 
That was the most loved and mortified he had felt in a long time
Nimona uses low-quality pictures of them as reaction photos 
There have been times when Nimona asks “Can we eat out tonight” and Bal tells her no and she sends him this 
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He’ll text back “Is that my fucking wanted poster?!” 
She asked Ambrosius if there was any ice cream left and he said no he expected her to call him and complain he didn’t expect this 
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He calls her yelling “When the fuck did that happen?!” 
And she hangs up immediately to let Bal deal with it
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halorvic · 6 months
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"Do not let anyone convince you that you need to get sick to be healthy."
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0hheytherebigbadwolf · 5 months
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Eli: Can I get some advice? Like, flirting advice?
Stiles: Szczenię, I wooed your old man with sarcastic bitchiness and ideas for murder.
Eli: ...never mind.
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Eli: Dad, can I get some dating advice?
Derek: I didn't realise I was dating your Ta for the first six months. I gave him deer teeth as an anniversary present.
Eli: Got it. Forget I asked.
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Eli: Hey, Dziadek?
Sheriff Stilinski: It took me a year to realise your babcia was flirting.
Eli: OH, COME ON!
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daily-crabbys · 13 days
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This Friday's(additional) meme is: fucking GETS him
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artsychanel · 6 months
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jude duarte.
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flamingpudding · 6 months
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Gala Pals
Danny glared at Vlad who was bosting about him to some other rich guy, Danny knew nothing about. He doesn't keep up with high society stuff. Vlad had dragged him to this Gala against his will, blackmailing him into it, and now he was stuck here. Well, considering the sour look, the kid of the other rich guy sported they were in a similar situation.
Vlad was now going on an on about his new building project he wanted the other guy to finace and Danny was only half listening as he muttered: "One wishes to acquainted your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls."
There was a pause, and he heard the fruitloops fake laughter before he added: "Repeatedly."
He blames Sam for this. She had been teaching him and Tuck about how to politely tell someone to fuck off because of a meme. Though he did not expect the kid next to him to response.
"I believe the cutlery appropriately sharpened and commonly used for cutting would work better in this case."
Danny stared at the kid that was only a couple years younger. Before mischievous smile spread accros his face when he saw the others smirk. Huh maybe this Gala wouldn't be as boring and tedious after all.
Meanwhile, Bruce did his best to keep his act up as Vlad Masters just wouldn't stop talking to him. He half listened in on his son conversing with Master's Godson. He was happy that his boy was making friends, but the way they talked, he really hoped Alfred had confiscated any blade, Damian could have smuggled into the Gala.
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