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#i wish i had the guts to text to the group 'okay got the message ✌' and then leave
hee-pster · 2 years
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I'm clumsy and I know it
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+18 content read at your own discretion, please scroll if you're uncomfortable with.
Pairing: Lee Heessung × afab!Reader
Genre: Smut, really filthy smut, crack
Warnings: Heeseung gets a minor injury, hard dom Heeseung, sub reader, oral sex, fingering, degradation kink, strength kink, spanking, cursing, unprotected sex, pulling out, multiple rounds of sex, mirror sex, cum play (sort of), mentions of bathtub sex, mentions of food, overstimulation (sort of)
A/n: Hello hello lomls, I hope everyone's doing okay <3 I'm back with a hee fic that i wrote after a convo i had with lovely @jainandan :3 we were talking about how cute it is to see Heeseung clumsy but honestly, even that side of him turns me on 🤚🏼 so here is a smut with cracky plot suggested by her, I hope you enjoy reading it <3 as always, all types if feedback is very appreciated, whether it's a comment, ask, like or especially a reblog with those cute tags! It makes me giggle and hop out of joy when I see your reactions so go on, don't be shy :3 I wish everyone a very pleasant day/night, see you next time!
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Today was not particularly a special day, but you aimed to make it one.
Your boyfriend Heeseung and his group were having a very successful comeback, so you wanted to show him how proud you are of him with a special dinner date, at your place.
Alright alright, if you had to admit, it's been a while since you've had your hands on the said guy and you were just looking for any kind of excuse to use for that matter.
You got your makeup and hair ready (ready to be ruined by his dick and hands), ordered one of his favorite foods —yes, you can't cook for shit— and checked your phone one last time to see if there was any update from him.
Heeseung <3
I'll be there in 30 baby, need anything?
It's been almost an hour he sent this message, but the promised arrival had never happened.
He didn't answer your texts and calls either, waking up the seeds of worry in your gut. What if something happened on his way here?
You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. Overthinking was never good for anything and plus he was probably stuck in traffic or something, you were being dramatic.
But what kind of traffic took almost one and a half hours, what was he doing, coming here with a bike?
You decided to give him another thirty minutes, pouring some wine for you to take your stress away. If he wasn't here by that time, you were gonna raid the Hybe Building.
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Heeseung was busy checking himself out in the mirror, making last touch ups on his hair before leaving for his date with you. He was just about to depart when he heard the loud thuds of approaching footsteps, followed by a call of his name.
"Heeseung hyung!" Jake came in running, breathless from his small marathon around the building. "I was looking for you, oh god..." He leaned to the door, trying to catch his breath. "...are you not coming?"
"Coming where?"
"To the dance studio..." he said, grabbing a cold bottle of water from the mini fridge, chugging it down almost immediately. "...Riki is showing us some of his cool moves."
"Cool moves?"
Jake nodded, eyeing Heeseung up and down. Now that he noticed, why was he so dressed up?
"Yeah but wait, are you going somewhere?" He asked, attempting to throw the bottle on the trashcan like a basketball player, sighing when he failed. "You look so..." He furrowed trying to find the right words, "...fancy."
Heeseung chuckled at the blurted out compliment, stealing a glance from the mirror. Of course he was gonna look fancy for his girlfriend, it's been quite a while since he saw her.
"Yeah, I have a date with y/n."
Jake's mouth got in a shape of "O ", a dirty grin quickly following after. "A date huh, good luck then." He winked, "I'll tell Riki you can't come, he wanted to show you so bad but, he can do it next time I guess."
"Wait." Heeseung stopped Jake before he left the room, checking his watch. He still had some time before meeting you, enough to watch Riki right now. "I still have some time, where's Riki?"
Jake giggled at Heeseung, knowing he had a soft spot for the youngest one. "This way." He pointed out the way with his fingers, not knowing he was leading Heeseung into a disaster.
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"Heeseung hyung! Heeseung hyung!" The loud chants of Jake and Jungwon were filling the room, making the competition between Heeseung and Riki more fierce.
It had been some time since Heeseung's chic jacket have meet the floor, meanwhile the hair Heeseung gave hours to style was completely ruined, frizzy and covered with sweat.
There was some dance / acrobatics race had been going on between the oldest and the youngest, their audience was chanting as if this was the best show they have ever seen in their life.
They were taking turns while showing off their cool tricks to each other, currently Riki was planning his next move while watching Heeseung gaining the hearts of his members with a charismatic smile on his face.
When Heeseung was done, he got up from the floor, raising an eyebrow at his rival with a 'I bet you can outdo this' type of look on his face. Riki was more than fueled up with that, accepting the challenge he got to the middle of the dance studio and did a triple cartwheel before ending it with a split.
Heeseung had completely forgot about the date by now, the burning desire to win inside of him duplicating with the loud shouts coming from his members to cheer Riki.
"Ey, it was easy." Heeseung argued, thinking his performance was way better. "I can do it better than you."
A burst of 'oooooooo' sounds rose up from the mini crowd, signing they liked the offer Heeseung had made. Riki tched, finding himself a great opportunity to tease.
"Aren't you too old to success a split with no experience beforehand, hyung?" Riki provoked, gaining another wave of 'ooooooooo's for himself. "I don't want you to get injured, you shouldn't force yourself that hard."
Okay now Heeseung was irked, he couldn't stay silent after being disrespected like that. Being looked down by his junior was enough to make him remove his fancy belt and shoes, making him get his position to prove himself — well actually, prove Riki right.
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If a professional dancer tells you to not try something they do, you simply listen to them. That was the lesson Heeseung learned today.
What happened? Oh boy, what didn't happen?
Heeseung tried the triple cartwheel and to be honest, he was nailing it until the splitting part. But he lost his balance as he was landing on the floor and got his wrist twisted, causing him to fall on his right arm.
First the members thought he was trying to be funny, laughing their asses off until they realized Heeseung couldn't get up off the floor, holding his arm in pain.
Fortunately they managed to get him to a hospital somewhere near and stayed with him while the first aid was given. The doctor said that his arm needs to be put in a cast, causing them to get scolded by their managers for being reckless.
In the mean time you've been calling Heeseung non-stop, already on your way to the Hybe Building when finally Jake noticed that Heeseung's phone was ringing and answered it for him.
He told you about what happened and gave you the information on their whereabouts, which you didn't know how fast you drove to arrive.
"Y/n said she'd be here soon."  Jake informed, making Heeseung realize what he had forgotten.
Fuck, y/n, the date—Heeseung totally forgot about his girlfriend and their plans for tonight, which was nothing but a dick move. And what exactly did he gain by forgetting it? A fucking injury, great.
"Don't be grumpy hyung, I think she'll like your new style." Jungwon poked Heeseung's cheek, gaining a chuckle from the frustrated guy. Tonight had to be a joke, because only a bad joke could be this ridiculous.
"Yeah, it definitely adds to your masculine aura."
"You do realize she can't find anyone with better arms at this point right?" Riki said playing with the cast, "Literally as hard as rock hyung, damn!"
Their attempts on making Heeseung laugh succeeded, him hitting Riki's hand playfully. He appreciated them for trying but he knew he fucked things up with you tonight and had to redeem himself to you somehow.
"Heeseung!" There you were, worry smeared all over your face as you blow into the room, causing his heart to miss a beat. You looked so pretty—too pretty to be stood up by him. Oh how much he regretted doing that.
He watched you run to his arms, being really careful not to hurt him as you pulled him into a hug, sighing in relief since it wasn't something too serious.
He knew he didn't have any right to think about anything sexual right after he ditched you on a date but fuck, you looked so cute in that dress wearing his favorite scent.
He knew — he just knew, he had to redeem himself to you tonight.
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It was a silent drive to your place, with Heeseung sitting on the passenger's seat, trying to figure out a way to make up for what he did tonight.
He's never seen you so quiet when you drove before, meaning you were indeed taken a back by the fact that he literally ditched you, but you were too nice to make a topic of it when he was injured, even though it was a minor thing.
You finally got to your flat, helping Heeseung remove his jacket and shoes as you entered inside. He gasped when he saw the dinner table you prepared for him, feeling even worse for being such a jerk tonight, although it was unintentional.
"Are these for me?" He asked with doe eyes, it was obvious from his face that he felt guilty.
"Yeah, they were for you."
You were upset alright, you weren't gonna make a scene and you weren't sure for how long you'd stay upset while he was looking at you like that but still, you were hurt and he had to understand that it was his fault.
"I fucked up tonight, huh?"
"A little, yeah."
"You prepared all these things for me and I didn't even show up, that was a big dick move.." He walked up to you, caressing your cheek with his uninjured hand. "..Is it too late to ask if there's anything I could do to redeem myself to you tonight?"
As much as he tried to look innocent while saying that, you knew him better than to fall for the angelic looks on his eyes.
It was obvious that he had the same expectations with you about tonight, you could tell it by the way he dressed, the way he styled his hair—even though it was messy right now which you found even sexier, the fragrance he chose to wear today. All of it was screaming 'I wanna get fucked so hard' just like you.
Your little dress that barely covered your cleavage, the way you put on his favorite color of lipstick and did your hair just the way he liked, the scent he loved so much on you— he was a clumsy one yeah, but he wasn't a dummy, at least not when it came to reading you.
You wanted him, he most certainly wanted you, what was a stupid cast could do to stop you guys from devouring each other?
"Depends on what kind of redeeming you're talking about."
Alright you were done playing, cast or not you've already put your mind on fucking him, there was no turning back from that.
"Well, I'd show you but since I can't use my hand.." He whispered, gently holding your hand to place it on the bulge of his pants, "..why don't you unbuckle my belt and see for yourself, love?"
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If you thought having an injured arm would stop Heeseung from ruining you, you were definitely wrong.
After you both stripped down, clothes everywhere on the floor of your flat, Heeseung pushed you on the big sofa in the living room, more than ready to attach his hungry lips onto your dripping cunt.
He had your legs on his shoulders, kneeling before you as he sucked on the sensitive skin of yours, using his left thumb to rub your clit in the process. He never used his left hand before but fuck, he was making you feel so good.
His arms were holding your thighs in place to stop you from snapping them around his head, although he got a cast on his arm to limit his movements, he was still strong as fuck.
Heeseung was immersed in the idea of redeeming himself, eating you out like this was his last meal. His tongue was lapping on your bud so deliciously, thick fingers fucking you fast and deep.
An hour ago you were mad at him for ruining your night but there he was, giving you the best sex you ever had, with only using his tongue and his left hand.
"Heeseung!" You screamed out, jerking your legs when he sucked on the very delicate spot of your clit, pushing you towards your orgasm fiercely.
You tugged on his hair, bucking your hips up against his mouth, feeling the tip of his nose brush against your skin deliciously. He didn't stop, instead he held you by your buttocks and shoved his tongue through your hole, letting his fingers rest a little.
How could he carry you like it was nothing with an injured arm? You didn't know, but fuck, that was too hot.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum!" You yelped, legs shaking as you tried to keep yourself stable on your palms.
"Do it for me baby.." He mouthed, lips not leaving your throbbing pussy. He could feel you clenching around his tongue, and he couldn't wait to feel it around his cock. But first, he was gonna need you to quench his thirst. "..let me taste you, come on."
The way his voice came so hoarse seemed to do it for you, making you cum all over his face, legs shaking as you let out his favorite high pitched sounds.
He licked every drop of your arousal, supporting your back as you fall back on the sofa.
After he was done drying you with his talented mouth, he looked up to you with the eyes of the devil, lust smeared all over his face. His chin and upper part of his neck were coated with your juices, making him look even more fuckable to your eyes.
"So.." He landed a soft slap on your pussy, enjoying the way your body reacted. "..am I forgiven yet, or?"
You pulled him upwards by tugging onto his hair, licking his lips to taste yourself. He greeted you with his tongue, quickly turning your small act into a passionate kiss, spreading the tender taste all over your mouth.
"Of course not." You broke the kiss, "You didn't think I was gonna let you go by making me cum just once, right?"
"Honestly.." He pecked your lips before getting up on his feet, "..I was hoping you'd say that."
You chuckled at his boldness, your eyes dropping onto the luscious sight of his dick. Of course he noticed, how could he miss those hungry eyes?
"Wanna ride me, baby?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
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Self side not: Injured Heeseung doesn't fuck less hard.
Honestly you didn't know if you were annoyed or aroused even more by that fact but nonetheless, you were in no position to complain about being fucked into an absolute oblivion right now.
You got on his lap in thoughts of being the one in control and fucking him like how you pleased. You were gonna make him cry and beg for you to go faster, bounce harder on his cock but of course Heeseung had something completely different in mind to ruin that plan of yours.
The moment you sat on his dick, his so called injured hand found its place on your head, getting wrapped around your hair as his other hand came to grab you by the throat, not letting you set down your own pace.
If he noticed you slowing down, he'd apply more pressure around your throat, making you gasp for air like a desperate slut while you were choking. And not only that, he'd also slap your titts with his casted arm—the cast making his touch even more powerful when it hits the skin of your soft boobs.
The way he was ridiculously playing with your strength kink while being injured was fucking hot but hell, what happened to you punishing him? He was the one that stood you up but here he was, fucking you as if you were the guilty one.
But to him, you were indeed guilty. What were you thinking coming to the hospital with that slutty dress on?
He was supposed to be the only guy who got to see in you in it, with your chest barely covered and some good amount of flesh of your cute ass showing under the short skirt, not his members.
"You desperate whore, tell me what were you thinking showing up with that slutty dress?" He pushed you off of his dick, the hand in your hair remaining still as he dragged you to the big mirror on the hall of your place.
He pulled your hair, making your back hit his chest. He grabbed your jaw to make you look at the reflection of your fucked out state— honestly you were the one who looked like you were hospitalized earlier today, and not him.
"Were you thinking of getting my dick, huh?" He yanked you against the mirror, lining his dick back to your entrance, pushing his whole length in with one deep thrust. "Were you that desperate?"
Who the fuck was this guy that was fucking you harder than ever and what did he do to Heeseung, who was asking to redeem himself to you about an hour ago?
You didn't know, you didn't care.
Honestly this was way better than punishing him, although you would never admit it out loud, and way way better than everything you had in mind about tonight.
He was ramming his hips onto yours fiercely, making you rise on your toes with every hard slam. You were so close to your second high, head gone blank with the way he was manhandling you.
"Speak!" A sharp smack landed on your ass, making you shiver on your spot.
"Y-yes, fuck!"
"Yes what? Finish the fucking sentence y/n!"
"Yes, I was thinking about having your big cock deep inside me Heeseung, please don't stop!" You screamed, not being able to handle the pace he was going.
He liked your answer, leaning to land wet kisses on your shoulders as he whispered "Were you thinking about creaming it too, huh?" He dropped a hand to rub your clit whlist he was fucking you, the casted hand not leaving your hair even for a minute.
You nodded enthusiasticly, making him giggle at your cuteness. "I want you to coat my dick with your juices, can you do that for me baby?"
"Y-yes, I c-can." Your voice came in a tiny tone, barely audible. But it was more than enough for Heeseung, praises spilling from his mouth on how good you were taking him, how much he liked to have your walls squeeze him.
With the way he was fucking you — rearranging your whole gut, and the sweet words he was speaking to you in total contrast of his actions, it didn't take long for you to cum just the way he requested.
He watched you in awe as you squirted, creaming not only his cock but also his lower abdomen, and even leaking some to his thighs.
He liked the mess you made, wanting to add more to it he pulled out, spilling the hot shots of cum all over your reddened ass, painting your skin with his load.
He held you by the waist and supported you, helping you walk to the bathroom. You were almost gonna pass out, not even able to walk straight but he on the other hand, wasn't showing any signs of exhaustion.
A devilish grin you knew so well formed on his face before he opened his mouth to speak, "So, should I text you or call you, how is this gonna work?"
"What?"
"Since my hand is injured and I have to wear this cast.." He grabbed on the doorknob, twisting it to enter to the bathroom, "..should I call you or text you when I need a quick head or a handjob?" He said, helping you get inside the bathtub.
"Neither, have fun with your left hand." You gave him a fake smile, did he really think you'd buy this after the things he did to you just mere minutes ago?
"You know what, I think it's better we discuss it after the third round."
"Third round?"
What fucking third round? You were over, gg, no more rounds.
"Oh come on now y/n.." He lowered himself to level with you, letting the warm water wet his honey skin. "..why do you think I got you this bathtub last week?"
Fuck, now it made sense. He was so random for gifting you a bathtub, but you thought he was just being sweet, really naive of you y/n.
"I finally get to use it now so yes, third round. It's still early to call it a night don't you think?"
Damn you Lee Heeseung and your beautiful dick, the things I let you do to my body, you thought to yourself. But well, how could you say no to bathtub sex, aka literally the hottest form of sex?
"Fine, but are you sure you can survive a round three without another injury, mister clumsy ?"
"Oh don't worry sweetheart, my dick isn't as easy to twist as my wrist, just bounce on it like a good girl and I'll be fine." He chuckled, giving you a peck on the lips as you let him lay under you, positioning his dick against your hole once again.
"Let's test how durable this bathtub is, shall we?"
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sw4tch · 9 months
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At this point I've convinced myself that I'm annoying to what used to be my main group of friends bcus
1) the roomie: must LOVE playing mind games with me because i can never tell if she's angry at me or not. I tell her Good morning :D everyday and she either doesn't reply or replies with a super annoyed tone. Which okay, not everyone can be a morning person! But sometimes I'll come home and she'll be playing games in the living room and I'll go "oh hello!" and she will straight up ignore me. She does that a lot. This is contrast to when she must be?? In a good mood?? Bcus she will have playful chats with me and smile and all that, but those moments. Well they feel rare.
And maybe it's just me??? But i would never treat her like that even if I'm in my foulest of moods so. It hurts. If anything, even if I'm exaggerating, it hurts.
Doesn't help that she's so dry in texts too. Like god just tell me u hate my guts and everything i do and go. At least i would know with certainty that you actually hate me and I'm not hallucinating how mean you feel towards me.
2) the faraway friend: stopped talking like we used to since they got a partner, and while genuinely good for them, i lost that part of our friendship and it hurt. Now months have passed so I'm like, whatever. But they used to be my go-to person to share my dumb Real Genuine thoughts and now i cant bcus. Well i know they can be annoying messages bcus I Am Me. And i thought they liked talking with me as well but since the radio silence between us exclusively then i guess. Maybe i wasn't such good conversation anyway? Ah man, i only feel this way on my side bcus i have abandonment issues and this has fucked with my head so much but overall, i have managed it! So really that's not their fault lol. But I guess it did feel like losing a friend. Anyway in this state of things i cant share my loud "OH HEY GUESS WHAT" occasional messages anymore bcus i don't think we are as close and now i am back to feeling shy with them. Thanks for nothing, broken brain. Genuinely, only a me problem.
3) la norteña: oddly enough i think she's the one I feel most secure in our friendship with agshjdjd she actually finished listening to the Malevolent podcast and we yelled about it, and the other day i had the chance to help her with an art project she had, and i felt happy!! The only sad thing is that we don't talk a lot 1 on 1 but at least i know they consider me a friend!!!! This feels like an absolute win. No notes except that i crave talking more to her bcus she's always been such a fun friend and now that we don't see each other physically i wish we could watch series together online and stuff. But idk i also don't wanna bother her a lot. But hey we ARE friends, that's something you can say.
So that used to be my main friend group, but maybe it's not anymore? I don't really want to let go because they're my besties from my university years but. Idk. Maybe this new friend group I've found in the office is a new phase in my life i should embrace???
I keep considering these people my closest friends but maybe. Maybe they're not anymore. And that's okay. People and relationships change, and it's not something negative. It's just life evolving around us, and you as a person blooming into a new version of you. It's not bad. It's okay. You're growing. Isn't that something to be proud of???
And you still have other university friends dummy!!! Ones you can 100% tell they're your friends and they like you!!!
Please. Seek and stay close to those that like you, for you. New friendships will always be on the horizon. It's okay snaily, you're navigating life. And it can be scary to see how you and others around you change. But it's okay.
You're blooming! You're blooming always!
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ccrossyourmind · 3 years
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moemammon · 3 years
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When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...
Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?
And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent
You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily
The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment
(Mario jumping sound effect)
Lucifer
He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.
Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?
"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"
You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.
I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-
The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,
You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.
So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.
Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.
Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-
Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.
Mammon
GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW
He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!
But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!
But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.
"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"
When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.
If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder
And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?
You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"
Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.
Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!
Levi
You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!
Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!
According to Levi.
You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...
Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.
Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.
You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.
Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"
He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??
Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,
Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦
Satan
Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.
That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.
You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.
So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.
"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."
Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.
His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...
Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.
You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.
Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.
Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...
Asmo
How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?
He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.
Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.
"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"
You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-
Actually no you wouldn't.
You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.
"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"
You would do no such thing.
You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.
"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"
Beel
He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?
But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!
Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."
Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-
Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...
Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.
"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.
You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-
You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.
You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?
He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...
Belphie
You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.
But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.
But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.
He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.
But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??
You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.
"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."
You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!
Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!
Jump out of the window, baby
Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????
He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....
2K notes · View notes
chaeryybomb · 3 years
Text
TRAITOR
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pairings: female reader x lee heeseung
summary: you thought lee heeseung was the best boyfriend you could ever wished for. but they did warn you about long distanced relationships. at first, you convinced yourself that it was just your insecurities taking over. but your gut feeling has never been wrong
genre: college au, lovers to exes, fluff, angst, sad ending
featuring: kang hyewon, shin ryujin, lee chaeryeong, lee daehwii, yang jeongin & zhong chenle
word count: 10.4k
warnings: breaking up, mentions of insecurity and cheating, arguments, strong language
the sour series masterlist
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Setting down the final box on the ground, you released a sigh of relief and stretched your arms upwards. The satisfying sounds of your joints popping gave you a sense of relief as you stretched. Then you felt a pair of arms snake around your waist. You smiled as you took in his familiar scent. You reached up to touch his neck as Heeseung pressed a kiss to the side of your head.
"Thank you for your help, lovely," he mumbled in your hair.
You turned around in his arms and clasped your hands behind his neck, toying with the back of his hair. Lee Heeseung was looking at you with pure love in his eyes and you couldn't be more happy. "I can't believe we're both finally in university," he said, squeezing your waist.
"Hmm yeah, finally out of high school," you hummed. "It's sad that we didn't get into the same university though," you cupped his left cheek, rubbing his cheek lovingly with your thumb.
Heeseung nuzzled into your hand, slowly drawing you closer. "I can always drive to your dorm, it's just a three hour drive from here."
"Or I can drive to you," you replied.
He scoffed, "Yeah if you get your driver's license," he teased.
You rolled your eyes and softly punched him on the chest before pushing yourself away from his embrace. "Listen, not all of us can miraculously pass on their first try okay," you defended yourself but Heeseung just laughed at you.
Although you tried to act like you were mad at his joke, you couldn't wipe the smile off your face as you sat down on his bed. Currently, the two of you were in Heeseung's dorm. You wanted to help him move in before you had to leave. Heeseung and you were high school sweethearts, the school's loveliest couple. And you've been together ever since then. Today marked a new milestone for the both of you as you had finally graduated from high school and now both of you were accepted into different universities.
The both of you had decided to do what's best for each other and went to different schools. It was for the sake of your future, you didn't want to cause a commotion just because you guys were three hours apart. Plus, it was just three hours. Heeseung could always come visit you and video calls were a thing. You're friends were scared that the both of you wouldn't survive a long distance relationship but you had faith in each other. And that was enough.
Heeseung was lucky to have a room all for himself, whereas you had to share a dorm with two other girls. His room was small but big enough for one person. You knew Heeseung was a simple man, if it had a bed and a table, that would be enough for him. A knock on the door caught your attention, you suddenly remembered that you guys had left the door open when you were moving boxes.
Outside the door stood a pretty girl with long blonde hair. She was really pretty, you noted. She looked so natural as a blonde as well, you couldn't help but thought. The pretty girl sent both of you an awkward smile and waved. You stood up and walked to her, somewhat excited to make a new friend.
"Hi!" You greeted her with a smile, you felt Heeseung behind you.
"Hi," she mirrored your smile. "I'm Hyewon, I'm from the room next door," she pointed out.
"Oh! I'm Heeseung," the taller boy introduced himself. "And this is my girlfriend, Y/N," he smiled at you.
"It's nice to meet you, are you both music majors too?" Hyewon asked. It was common for Hyewon to ask that, considering the university Heeseung applied for is known for their music stream. Heeseung was extremely talented, being blessed with a heavenly voice and all. It was his dream to pursue a music career. Thanks to you, he found the courage to do so,
"Oh no, just him. I don't actually go here," you immediately told her. "I actually go to George University instead."
"Oh! So you're a theatre major then," Hyewon said, surprising you a bit. You nodded in return and Hyewon's smile seemed to grow wider. The university you applied to was quite well known for its theatre arts course. "That's so cool, I'm a theatre major too!"
Your eyes lit up in excitement and you stepped closer to the blonde, eager to learn more about her. But before you could ask her anything, your phone chimed. You gave her an apologetic look before checking your phone. "It's my mom, she's asking when I'll be home. I still have to pack up," you said disappointed. You really wanted to talk more with Hyewon so the both of you could geek out. (And spend a bit more time with Heeseung.) Hyewon looked disappointed too that you couldn't stay longer.
"Let me drive you home," Heeseung started to move to get his keys but you placed your hand on his arm to stop him.
"Nah, it's fine," you shook your head. "I can take the bus home."
"Then I'll walk you to the bus stop," Heeseung said with determination. He was gonna make use of whatever time he had to spend it with you, even if it was for five seconds.
You realised that there was no way of rejecting him, so you just chuckled and said, "Alright, let me grab my bag then." But Heeseung was already one step ahead of you as he had already gone to get it for you. You sent another smile to Hyewon. "It was really great to meet you, Hyewon. I hope we can talk again soon," you told her.
"Likewise Y/N, have a safe trip home," she bid you goodbye before returning to her room.
Heeseung appeared behind you once again, sneakily slipped his fingers through yours and pulled you out of the room. He locked the door with your bag on his shoulder, he looked like he had the intention of not letting you hold it.
"C'mon," he tugged your hand and you giggled, falling into step with him.
The walk to the bus stop felt quicker than it should be, much to your dismay. The bus stop was empty besides the both of you. As the two of you stood under it, you mindlessly swung your intertwined hands back and forth. Heeseung laughed at your action. He released your hand and you looked up curious on why he did it. Heeseung moved so he was standing behind you and wrapped his arms around you, effectively back hugging you.
Your lips tugged upward at the position you were and you held onto his arms. Slowly, he started to rock you back and forth. "I'm gonna miss you," he suddenly said.
You couldn't help but let your smile falter. You were gonna miss him too, you're gonna miss him so much. "This is the first time where we'll be so far apart, I think I might die without you," he rubbed his face into your hair as you laughed at his words.
"I'll call you everyday, Hee. I promised," you assured him with a pat on his arm. The taller boy only hummed in reply but you felt him move his arms to your middle so he could bury his face in the crook of your neck. You giggled when you felt him peppered small kisses up around your neck.
"I love you," he mumbled before pressing a loving kiss to the top of your head.
"Love you too," you leaned back into him.
Just in time you saw the bus in the distance, which meant your time with Heeseung was ending. As the bus slowed down in front of you, your boyfriend finally reluctantly let you go from his slip. "I'll see you soon, okay?" you promised him. He nodded and leaned down to give you one more kiss before you entered the bus.
Sitting down, you waved from the window and he gave you a smile. Oh god, you already missed him. Heeseung watched as your bus left the station. You sighed, leaning back into the seat. This was the beginning of a new chapter of your relationship, and you have faith that the both of you will be okay.
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"Thank you," you said to the barista as she handed you your coffee. With your free hand, you pushed the front door open. The November breeze welcomed you once you stepped outside, your coffee warming your fingertips. Your phone then started to ring in your pocket. You fished your phone out and a smile crept onto your face when you saw the contact name.
"Hello, love," Heeseung greeted as soon as you picked up. You smiled at him, holding your phone in front of your face.
"Good morning, Hee. I just got my coffee," you showed him your coffee like it was a little trinket. Heeseung laughed at your child-like action. The second semester was almost ending and your relationship was still going strong. The both of you were consistent with the video calls and text messages. You'd be calling him at the end of every day and the two of you would talk about your day till one of you fell asleep. (Spoiler: It was usually you.)
And now your second semester as a couple is ending, the both of you had decided to retreat back to your hometown during the break like you did during your first break. So you could bask in each other's presence and visit some old friends. It was slowly starting to become a tradition and you couldn't ask for anything more.
"So, how was your audition?" Heeseung asked as you walked past a group of band kids, sending them a smile as they waved at you.
At the mention of the audition, your smile turned into a pout. "Rejected, as usual," you sighed. You have auditioned for almost every play in your school but you were always rejected or chosen as a background character if you were lucky. You knew that there were a lot of talented students in your school, but you felt dejected each time.
"Sorry, love. I'm sure you'll have better luck next time," Heeseung told you with a sad smile. "I wish I could hold you right now."
You looked at him with a sad gaze, "Me too, Hee." You couldn't lie that long distance relationships were hard, everyday was spent through a screen and you yearned to be next with him physically. During the first few weeks, you told yourself that you would get used to it after a while. Spoiler alert, you still haven't gotten used to it. "But enough of that!" You said, waving away the depressed aura and taking a long sip from your coffee before letting out a sigh. "Our break is coming up and I can't wait to see you."
At the mention of the break, you noticed how Heeseung visibly flinched. His eyes suddenly weren't looking at you anymore, averting his gaze to the side instead. "We are going to be seeing each other, right?" You inquired. But you were met with silence, you stopped in your tracks when Heeseung didn't say anything. "Hee?"
"Actually, Y/N," he started to say and you felt your heart sink already. He didn't call you "love". Some may say you were being dramatic, but Heeseung only used your name whenever something was serious. You're not going to be able to see him during break, your mind told you. You knew it was the most possible outcome, but you hoped that you were wrong.
"I'm not going back during break."
And there it was, what possibly could have been the worse news for you. "Oh," was all you could say, your fingers tightened slightly around the plastic cup before you plastered on a fake smile. "Well, there's always next semester," you assured him, but it felt more like you were reassuring yourself. This was going to be your first winter break without Heeseung.
Heeseung smiled at your reply, a twinge of sadness in him but he brushed it off. "The reason is cause a senior from the film department asked me for help," he explained. "You see, there's a music video competition and he asked me if I could write a song for it."
Your eyes lit up in excitement. "No way! So they're gonna shoot a music video for your song?"
Heeseung nodded with a big smile. "Yup! It's such a big project, like they're bringing in some of the theatre kids as the actors and we're gonna start filming, like next month."
"I'm so happy for you, love," you told him truthfully. Internally, you were scolding yourself for feeling sad that he wouldn't be free during the break when he has something big going on in his life. Stop being so selfish, your mind scolded. Of course you felt a bit blue but this was a big opportunity for Heeseung, imagine if they won the competition. He would finally get some recognition for his music. And the fact that the senior chose him to write the song meant that people were already starting to appreciate his songs and his voice. You were being selfish, like a child.
As Heeseung continued to tell you about the project, you resumed your walk back to your dorms. You listened to him intensively, capturing every small detail in your heart. It was rare for you to see him speak so passionate. Music was his passion, his safe place. You knew that and you wanted him to live a life where he could make his dream a reality. A singer on the bright stage with thousands, no, millions of fans to appreciate his vocals.
You managed to reach your dorm just as Heeseung was being called for off screen. A feminine voice was calling from him and you easily recognised it. "Is that Hyewon?" You asked.
A few seconds passed and a familiar looking pretty blonde came into view. "Y/N? Y/N, hi!" The blonde waved at you enthusiastically, Heeseung was slowly being pushed out of the frame. You could tell he was scooting over to make space for Hyewon. An uneasy feeling slowly sprouted in you when you saw how Hyewon and Heeseung were sitting too close, but you shoved it down when the blonde girl grinned at you.
"Y/N!"
"Hyewon!" You responded with the same enthusiasm, which made the two of you burst into a fit of giggles.
"I'm so sorry for disturbing your time but Chan is looking for you," she apologised, the last part directed to your boyfriend.
"Ah, it's okay, I understand," you said.
"I'll talk to you later, okay? Love you," Heeseung said once Hyewon was out of frame.
"Love you too," you replied and your phone screen turned black, your reflection staring right back at you. You were frowning. With a sigh, you stuffed your phone back into your phone pocket to unlock your front door. Your coffee was now cold in your hands and the uneasy feeling from before was slowly creeping back in. You did not like it one bit.
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Chaeryeong and Ryujin thought you were being dramatic, they were right in a way. But you were too busy missing Heeseung to be bothered. You missed his warmth, his voice, the way his hands perfectly fit yours when he held them. you missed the way you laid your head on his chest when he sat behind you, you could always hear his steady heartbeat. It always lulled you to sleep in seconds.
You let out a long and loud sigh as you flipped onto your back on your childhood bed. You had returned to your hometown one week ago, which also meant another week without Heeseung. Your best friend and roommate, Chaeryeong, was the one who drove you both home. The last time you saw her was when she dropped you off at your parents home. And you've been dwelling in your Heeseung-less days ever since.
Reaching over to retrieve your phone, you moved to open your chat with Heeseung. The last text message from him was from this morning. It was just a simple "good morning" text, and you replied with the same message except you added a heart emoticon at the end. And the message was on delivered. Not even on read. You don't know which one was worse.
Your phone suddenly dinged and you immediately sat up straight, thinking it was Heeseung. But your shoulders sagged in disappointment when you saw it was just a message from Jeongin. If Ryujin had seen you right now, the short hair girl would have called you a "lovesick fool". She was right, of course but still.
[2:42 pm] jeongin: guess what
[2:44 pm] chenle: what
[2:44 pm] jeongin: guess
[2:45 pm] chenle: no
[2:45 pm] chenle: just tell us
[2:46 pm] jeongin: g u e s s
[2:46 pm] chenle: n o
[2:46 pm] jeongin: guess goddammit
[2:48 pm] ryujin: jeongin i stg
[2:48 pm] ryujin: i will break ur kneecaps just tell us
[2:49 pm] jeongin: ugh fine theres a amusement park and i wanna go
[2:50 pm] chenle: its winter
[2:50 pm] jeongin: yeah and
[2:50 pm] jeongin: is there snow? no
[2:51 pm] jeongin: so therefore, amusement park
[2:51 pm] ryujin: i-
[2:52 pm] chaeryeong: where is it
[2:52 pm] jeongin: its like a 2 hours away from here
[2:54 pm] ryujin: and who tf would be driving us genius
[2:55 pm] jeongin: y/n bc she loves us
[2:56 pm] y/n: since when
[2:56 pm] chaeryeong: and shes alive, great job jeongin
[2:57 pm] chaeryeong: u pulled her out from her depression
i[2:58 pm] y/n: hey im not depressed >:(
[2:59 pm] ryujin: hm sure
[2:59 pm] y/n: >:(
[3:00 pm] y/n: also i dont have my drivers license yet dumbass
[3:01 pm] jeongin: ah right i also forgot y/n cant drive
[3:01 pm] jeongin: ryujin it is
[3:02 pm] ryujin: whAT I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS
[3:03 pm] chaeryeong: lets meet up at jeongin's place then
[3:03 pm] chenle: cool with me
[3:05 pm] ryujin: HEY DONT IGNORE ME
[3:04 pm] y/n: sure!
You stifled a laugh as you read Ryujin's message. Then, you switched to check your chat between Heeseung and you. It was still on delivered. Maybe he's just busy with filming and recording. Yeah, he's probably busy. Stop being so selfish, Y/N.
Yang Jeongin just had to choose the coldest day of the year to go to the amusement park, didn't he. You silently thanked yourself for dressing up in an extra layer, unlike Chenle who looked like he was about to die from frostbite. Whereas Jeongin had a huge grin plastered on his face as he looked at the Ferris Wheel ahead. You rubbed your hands together, bringing it to your mouth to blow hot air at it. You heard the car door slam shut behind you and Ryujin walked next to you.
Families lined up at the ticket booth, laughter and chatter filled the atmosphere. You spot some couples around the area as well, the sight of them tugged at your heartstrings. You wished Heeseung was here with you, he would've wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel with you.
Chaeryeong linked arms with you and Ryujin, leading the two of you to the entrance. The boys already beat you guys to it, you realised. Once Chenle handed you your ticket, you were immediately dragged to the first ride that caught Jeongin's eye.
After a couple of hours, you found yourself resting on the bench with a cup of hot chocolate at your side. Your social battery was empty and you didn't know where the rest of your friends had gone. Ryujin may have mentioned going to the restroom, you're not sure, you were too tired to keep up. So here you were, on the bench next to the Teacups Ride.
You watched as the visitors walked past you. Some were students with their friends laughing as if it was their last day on earth, children giggling as their parents lifted them up in the air and couples sharing a loving look. You fiddle with your phone, debating whether you wanted to text Heeseung or not.
The both of you had called each other last night. You couldn't see him but his voice sounded tired. You felt bad for calling him. Maybe it was for the best if you didn't. You picked up your hot chocolate, the warmth spreading through your fingers as you blew on it. Your body relaxed once you took a sip, enjoying as the warmth spread through your body. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a very familiar looking coat.
You saw a couple walking together, he was wearing a coat that looked identical to the one you gifted Heeseung last year during Christmas. It was almost as if that was Heeseung, well his back kinda looked like his and Heeseung was about that height as well. But it couldn't be him, his school was almost three hours away from here. Plus the girl beside him was blonde, she kinda looked like Hyewon.
What are the odds of those two being here, you laughed. But when those two stopped in their tracks to look at the Ferris Wheel, your entire body froze right there and then. That was Heeseung and Hyewon together. What were they doing here?
Your body reacted immediately by standing up. Heart beating rapidly, you were about to walk towards them when you saw Heeseung laughing at something the blonde said. A gnawing feeling grew in you, he was laughing with her. He was at the amusement park with her. Not you. Her.
And he never mentioned anything about going to the amusement park, let alone the same one you were going to. Your feet stayed glued to the ground as you watched them get into one of the carts. Why was he here? Why didn't he tell you? Why was he with her? Why? Why? Why?
You saw Hyewon stopped from getting into the cart and she stretched her hand out while she looked up in the sky, Heeseung following her. It was snowing. It was the first snow. And Heeseung spent it with Hyewon, while you watched from the sidelines. They looked like an actual couple. Snow started to fall, your hot chocolate was losing its warmth and jealousy filled up instead. The noise drilled out of your ear so all you heard was a low buzz, your gaze burning on the two. You didn't notice Ryujin walking towards you.
"Jesus, the line was so long that I-" Ryujin stopped mid sentence, her eyes following the direction of your gaze. "Y/N?"
You walked past her without saying anything, chucking the drink into a trashcan.
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Your phone felt heavy in your hands as you paced around your room. You knew your eyes weren't wrong. It was Heeseung and Hyewon at the amusement park, you could tell it was him from a mile away. After that incident, you went to find your friends and told them you wanted to go home because you weren't feeling well. It was partially a lie anyway, you didn't feel comfortable. You don't know what you would do if you had stumbled upon them.
Thousands of questions echoed through your mind. And you couldn't bear to ask Heeseung. You knew you had questions but you didn't know what to ask. Why didn't you tell me? Why were you with Hyewon? Why wouldn't you tell me?
Your phone suddenly rang, causing you to jolt in surprise. The phone screen lit up with his name in bold. He was calling you. Without thinking, you accepted the call.
"Hey, love," Heeseung's smooth voice greeted you.
"Hey," you replied, making sure your tone was steady. You were silently grateful that it wasn't a video-call so he couldn't see the nervousness in your eyes.
"How was the amusement park?" He asked.
You bit your thumb, hesitant to answer. Should you tell him that you saw him today? "It was fun, a lot of people thought," you hummed, moving over to sit on your bed.
"You know, funny story. Today we actually went to an amusement park too," he suddenly said and you froze on the spot. "They decided to film there so we went there in the afternoon, it started snowing too!"
You felt a weight was lifted from your heart. So it was just a pure coincidence. Heeseung never planned to go to the amusement park, he just went with what they said. "It would've been funny if we bumped into each other, don't you think, love?" He laughed but you couldn't find the energy to laugh along.
"Yeah," you mumbled, leaning back into your pillows. He was there to film for the music video. He's busy with the music video. It's always for the music video. You trust Heeseung, don't you?
Winter break went by like the cold breeze and now cherry pink flowers occupied the empty branches. Flowers were blooming from the left and right, the cold winter was now in the past and you welcomed (the still cold) spring into your arms. Which meant you left whatever uneasy feeling and doubts in the past.
You were currently in Heeseung's dorm. Today was a big day, it's the day where they were gonna upload the music video and Heeseung wanted you to be there to watch it with him. Heeseung picked you up from the bus stop and then took you out for lunch. Thankfully it was the weekend so you could stay for the night.
Heeseung was at his desk, his thumbs typing away as he laughed silently at his phone. You wondered who he was texting. Maybe he's texting Hyewon, your mind taunted. You shook your head to drive the thoughts away, you were not going to be paranoid. You already left the bitter feelings in winter, you agreed with yourself that you'll leave it behind. You trust Heeseung.
"Who are you texting?" Yet the question slipped out of you either way.
"Huh?" Heeseung looked up, like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, uh no one," he quickly said, turning off his phone and placing it on his desk. "I think the music video is uploaded," he added before you could question him more.
He moved to his bed, where you were sitting. You scooted over to make space for him as he sat next to you with his laptop propped on his lap. He clicked into his senior's channel, Jeong Yunho, you took note. And there it was, the music video, uploaded forty five seconds ago. You let out an excited noise once you saw it.
"Not for sale," you read the title out loud. Heeseung had a proud look on.
The music video started off with a frame of Heeseung and Hyewon facing each other, then he handed her a note with the words "Not For Sale" on it. The camera then panned out to film the sky where the title appeared again in bold, and the song started to play. The song had a bubbly beat to it and Heeseung's angelic voice accompanied it. The music video was filled with pastels and some scenes were filmed at the amusement park. Specifically, at the carousel. There weren't any scenes of the Ferris Wheel though, you noted.
The video ended with Heeseung and Hyewon holding hands as they face the sunset, while the camera slowly zooms away from them and into the sky. The last scene was a black screen with all the credits listed out. When you saw Heeseung's name being credited for writing the song, you felt a sense of pride inside of you. Your boyfriend wrote this song, of course you're going to be proud.
Once the video ended, you threw your arms around Heeseung. Heeseung laughed as he wrapped an arm around your middle and the other holding onto his laptop. You planted a big fat kiss on his cheek and he tightened his hold on you.
"The song was so good, Hee! I'm so proud of you, babe," you complimented him, one hand reaching up to ruffle his hair while the other cupped his cheek.
Heeseung smiled and leaned into your touch. "Thank you so much, lovely. This song means a lot to me," he kissed your nose. "I actually thought of you when I wrote this song," he confessed.
You blinked at him, your heart beating faster as you processed his words. You were kneeling on his bed as he looked up at you, pink dusted on his cheeks. Instead of saying anything, you threw yourself onto him, tightly wrapping your arms around his torso to buried your head in his neck. Heeseung let out an "oof" when you knocked him back onto his bed, his laptop on the edge of his bed.
"I love you," you mumbled.
"I love you, too," he said. His hand reached up to stroke your head as the both of you laid there in each other's embrace.
A few minutes passed and Heeseung tapped on your head to get your attention. "Hm?" you hummed in reply.
"I need to go pee, love."
"No," you said stubbornly, tightening your arms around him.
"Please, love. I'll be back fast, I promise," Heeseung told you, looking down on you.
You lifted your head to rest your chin on his chest as you narrowed your eyes at him. "Hng, fine," you pouted before you rolled off him.
"Thank you, lovely," he pecked your lips before pushing himself off his bed, not before moving his laptop to his desk.
You watched as Heeseung left his dorm to go to the restroom. You stretched your arms upwards, making grabby hands in the air before sitting up. You reached over to his desk, which was next to the bed, to get your phone when you saw Heeseung's phone lit up. You knew you shouldn't have looked but when her name was in bold white, you couldn't look away.
[4:47 pm] hyewon: can't wait to do it again hee!
"Can't wait to do it again?" You read the message out loud. Can't wait to do what again? And since when did Hyewon called him "Hee"? That was your nickname for him. The bitter feelings from winter crept back into you like the cold seeping in through the crack of your window. Why did you feel so uneasy whenever Hyewon was alone with Heeseung? Was there something going on?
No, they're just friends, Y/N, you reminded yourself. Just friends.
The door opened and your eyes snapped up to see Heeseung returning from the restroom. Suddenly, you wanted to get out of here. You don't know why, but that text message from her just rubbed you the wrong way and you wanted to get out of there before you say something you regret.
"Ryujin just texted me that she needs my help," you lied. You stood up to grab your coat and bag from the chair.
"Woah, woah, what's with the hurry?" Heeseung took a hold of your wrist as he looked at you. But your eyes didn't meet his.
"Ryujin has an emergency, she needs my help," you said again, this time firmly.
"Oh," his grip on you loosened and you pulled your hand back to you. "I'll drive you back-"
"No, it's fine," you cut him off. "I-I'll take the bus home. I'll call you tonight," the words rushed out of your lips and soon enough you were out of his door.
You did not call him that night.
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You ignored Ryujin's questions when you reached your dorm, she didn't press on. Now it was Sunday morning and Ryujin had left for breakfast. You felt bad for leaving Heeseung like that and ignoring Ryujin when she just wanted to help you. And you knew you should've talked it out instead of walking out. Sighing, you curled deeper into your blanket.
After a few minutes, you threw your covers off and sat up. Maybe some warm breakfast would make you feel better. So you went down to the cafeteria to see your friends all huddled up at the corner.
"Y/N, just in time!" Jeongin called out. Curious, you walked towards them and saw that they were watching Heeseung's music video.
"The song is so sweet," Chaeryeong cooed, leaning onto you.
You let out an awkward laugh, not quite sure what to feel because of the act you pulled yesterday.
"It has almost two thousand views. I bet you must feel so proud, huh," Chaeryeong said.
You bit the inside of your cheek as you nodded. Now you feel even more bad, Heeseung wrote this song for you and you should've stayed at his dorm to celebrate with him. Instead, you left because you saw one text message without context. You were being a bad girlfriend, you should apologise to him.
"Who's the other girl? She's really pretty," Jeongin suddenly asked.
"Ah, that's Hyewon. She's his neighbour," you explained.
"Hyewon? As in Kang Hyewon?" Daehwii suddenly said. He was passing by when he heard you say her name and pulled a chair across Jeongin. You nodded. "Oh, I know her," he casually said.
You tilted your head to the side. "You do?" Jeongin leaned forward. You heard Ryujin mumble "simp" under her breath, and you bit back a laugh.
"Mhmm," Daehwii nodded and pulled out his phone. A few seconds later, he showed his phone screen and it was Hyewon's Instagram. "I went to the same high school with her, she was really popular. All the teachers said she had the face of an actress. There was a rumour that she even got scouted by an entertainment company."
Ryujin reached over to grab his phone to scroll through her account. "Woah, she has like two hundred thousand followers," she said in amazement. You leaned closer to Ryujin to check, Hyewon sure was popular.
"Yeah, she's a free-lance model and I think she models for smaller brands," Daehwii added.
You couldn't help but feel very small next to her. She was beautiful and she had somewhat of a reputation in the entertainment industry, a rising model. Imagine what kind of connections she could get for Heeseung…
"I bet Heeseung wrote this song for you," Ryujin suddenly said, smoothly switching the topic back to the song.
You felt your cheeks to warm up at her words. Sheepishly, you nodded. Your friends immediately reacted with a chorus of "ooh"s and Chaeryeong playfully nudged your shoulder. "Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want what these bitches have," Jeongin quoted and the rest of you fell into laughter.
After breakfast, you and Ryujin strolled back to your rooms with your arms linked together. She was telling you about what happened when you weren't here yesterday. "And then he said and I quote "sometimes bullying is okay" just as a family was walking by, the mom was literally glaring at us," you laughed as she told you. "And then- oh," she stopped, and you stopped as well. She was looking ahead of you so you followed her gaze.
"Heeseung?" His name left your lips before you could even process the whole situation.
Heeseung waved awkwardly at you, internally wincing when you used his full name. You and Ryujin exchanged a look before Ryujin pushed you towards him. You stumbled right into his arms but you took a step out of his arms, you rubbed your forearms instead.
"What are you doing here?" You asked him.
"Ah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I wanted to surprise you since you left early yesterday. I hope you were able to solve Ryujin's problem."
At the mention of Ryujin's "emergency", you stiffened because you didn't mention that you had used her in a lie. You could feel her eyes on you and mentally hope that she got the message.
"Uh, yeah. It was solved," Ryujin replied with an awkward chuckle. "Actually, I forgot I had to meet up with Chaeryeong so it was great seeing you, Heeseung." You turned around and mouthed a "thank you" at her and she gave you a look as if to say "we are going to talk about this later".
And then the two of you were left alone in the empty hallway. Was it always this awkward?
Heeseung stood awkwardly in your room. This was the first time he looked so out of place. Usually, you were the one at his dorm. He doesn't come over to yours that often since he was more busy than you. So it truly was a surprise when you saw him outside your door.
"So, uh, how are you?" He asked.
You hummed in reply. "I'm doing fine," as you sat down on your bed.
"Great! That's great," he coughed while he played with his fingers.
And then the awkward silence returns. You knew it was your fault for walking out yesterday, you probably made him think he did something wrong. When really it was just you refusing to communicate. You gripped your sheets, your mind running laps on what to say. But he beat you to it.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Your eyes snapped up to finally meet his eyes, he was looking at you with brown innocent eyes. Your heart broke a bit at the sight. "It's not you," you assured him. "It's…it's just me," you told him truthfully.
Heeseung looked at you with confusion, he didn't understand what was wrong. He wanted to help but he didn't know how. So instead, he slowly moved to sit next to you. When you did not move away, he took it as a sign of permission. So he took your hands into his, slowly rubbing circles on top of your hand.
"I'm sorry," you whispered.
"Love, what are you even sorry about?" He softly asked.
"I saw you at the amusement park that day," you confessed.
Heeseung's fingers stopped moving. "Oh," was all he could say. You bit the inside of your cheek, the atmosphere shifted but you can't read him at all.
"I'm sorry," you whispered again because you didn't know what to say. "Ever since that day, I've been feeling weird whenever I see you with Hyewon and I don't like it."
"Love," he softly cupped your cheek to make you look at him, "are you perhaps jealous?" he asked with a teasing tone. You shifted your gaze to the side, you were jealous but you were reluctant to admit it. But your avoiding eyes already sold you out. Heeseung chuckled and brought you into his embrace. "There's nothing to be jealous of. Hyewon and I are just friends," he assured you.
His voice was genuine when he told you and you felt a sense of relief hearing him say those words. You fell forward to hug him and Heeseung immediately accepted you. He planted a kiss on the top of your head and sighed. "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"
"Okay."
Heeseung was right, honesty was the key to maintaining a healthy relationship, Heeseung has been nothing but truthful to you since the start, and you allowed yourself to be overwhelmed by your insecurities instead of talking it out. This reminded you of when Heeseung once shut you out because he didn't want to burden you.
He hid his passion for music from you because he thought you would react like his parents, against him. He refused to tell you the truth which left you confused and hurt. Did I do something wrong? The question was constantly in your head. It wasn't until you forced it out of him, and it was the first time you saw his composed figure break down in tears. You embraced him and assured him with comforting words, you loved him at his worst.
And you told him the exact same words: "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"
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Exam season was the most painful time of your life. Everyday was the same routine: wake up, eat, study, sleep and repeat. You're starting to spend more time in the library than in the comfort of the dorm. Heeseung was just as busy as you, the both of you rarely have enough time to check up on each other. But you tried and so did he.
You plucked out your earphones and let it fall into your lap as you stretched your arms upwards. Chaeryeong and Ryujin were scattered around your shared room, with the latter laying face down on her bed. The three of you had spent your entire morning studying for your own examinations. You had sent Heeseung a quick good morning text before telling him that your phone will be on silent mode until you were done.
That was six hours ago. You pushed your laptop away from you as you reached over for your phone. You smiled when you saw your first notification was from your boyfriend.
[8:15 am] hee <3: okay remember to stay hydrated love! and take some breaks in between!!!
"Look at her, smiling all lovey dovey and shit," Ryujin sneered at you in disgust as she lifted herself onto her elbows.
You stuck your tongue out at her before typing a reply.
[3:52 pm] y/n: guess who's done studying?? 
While waiting for his reply, you decided to scroll through Instagram. Tapping through people's stories, you stumbled upon Hyewon's one. (She had followed you a few weeks ago.) Your thumb pressed down on your phone screen as your breath hitched. It was a photo of Heeseung, it looked like he was in the library and he was reading a book. The words "with mr. hardworking" positioned above his head. You tapped through to the next slide and it was a candid of Heeseung looking up at her with a smile, his hand outreached to grab her phone. This time the words "oops, got caught" were written on the side. You checked and saw it was posted ten minutes okay.
You frowned at the two photos. You knew Heeseung said they were just friends, but you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling away. Your mind was telling you that they weren't but your heart was with Heeseung.
"Who's that?" Chaeryeong suddenly asked.
You jump, startled. Since when was she behind you? Chaeryeong ignored your expression and leaned towards your phone. "Isn't that Heeseung? Who's he with?" She asked.
"Hyewon," you answered.
Ryujin crawled over to plop down next to you, her curious eyes peering up at your phone. "The same girl we saw at the amusement park?" The short-haired girl asked.
You looked down at her, shocked. You never told her about what you saw last winter. Ryujin understood your expression and rolled her eyes. "I'm not dumb, Y/N," she said.
Chaeryeong looked between the two of you with confusion. "Did something happen when we were at the amusement park?"
"Y/N saw Heeseung and Hyewon getting on the Ferris Wheel together."
"Ryujin!"
"What?" She shrugged at you. "We did see them there and it was the reason you were upset," she stated with her arms crossed, now sitting crossed legged next to you.
Chaeryeong gasped beside you and placed her hands in front of her mouth. "Do you think he's cheating on you?"
"Chaeryeong!" Ryujin hissed at the other girl. "Heeseung isn't the kind to do that," she defended him despite what she said before, "right, Y/N?" Ryujin nudged your elbow.
You opened your mouth to defend your boyfriend but no words were said. You bit your lips, Heeseung wouldn't be the kind to cheat, right? Then why were you hesitating? You wanted to agree with Ryujin and say that Heeseung would never cheat on you. So why were you doubting him?
"I'm just saying, long distance relationships never work out. Like Yeji and Soobin, they broke up like six months later," Chaeryeong shrugged innocently and leaned back on her hands as she spoke.
"But that was different, Yeji never really liked him anyways!" Ryujin countered.
"Vivi and Haseul! Everyone thought they were gonna last but they broke up the moment Vivi went home, and they were together for four years. Four years, Ryujin!" The younger girl exclaimed. "Point is, long distance relationships rarely work out."
Before Ryujin could retort, your phone lit up and all three of you looked down. It was a notification from Heeseung.
[4:01 pm] hee <3: hey sorry i was with taehyun
The three of you blinked at the message, Ryujin and Chaeryeong exchanged a look. While you just stared at the notification, refusing to tap into the chat. Did Heeseung just lie to you?
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Something shifted in your relationship, you could tell. Calls with Heeseung were now cut short and text messages got short. At first, you blamed it on the upcoming exams and you told yourself that Heeseung was equally busy as you. Sometimes you were too tired to send a text because all you wanted was to sleep but when you tried to give him a call, he always brushed you off with a "I'm busy" text.
Text messages now never got past the "how was your day" before he said that he was going to sleep. Ever since that day with Ryujin and Chaeryeong, you turned a blind eye to the text message. Maybe he really was with Taehyun, you wouldn't actually know.
But that's the thing, isn't it? You would never know what really happens because you're not there with him, your mind taunted you. You shook away the thoughts and tried to be positive. Exams had ended a few days ago and Chaeryeong suggested that you should surprise him with a visit.
So here you were, on the bus to Heeseung's university. You could barely contain your smile, it's been so long since you last saw him and you just missed him so much. You could imagine how happy he would be to see you. An hour later, the bus came to a stop and you thanked the bus driver before boarding off.
Tightening your coat around you, you looked at the road ahead of you with a determined look. You were gonna surprise Heeseung today. And nothing was going to stop you from doing so. You reached the entrance of the school and sent a friendly smile to the security guards.
You made your way towards Heeseung's dorm, your feet have walked this path multiple times. You were familiar with these hallways. Soon enough you reached his door, you patted your clothes and fixed your hair before raising your fist. Your hand hovered in front of the wooden door, Heeseung was one door away from you.  Knocking precisely three times on the door, you took a step back and clasped your hands behind you. You couldn't wait to see his smile when he sees you.
"Surprise!" You said, doing jazz hands the moment the door opened.
"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked you.
You blinked, slightly lowering your hands. Heeseung wasn't smiling at you like you thought he would be, instead he was looking down on you with furrowed eyebrows. His hair was dishevelled, like he ran his fingers through it multiple times and he wasn't opening the door fully, like he was blocking something.
"I was going to surprise you, since exams are over and all-"
"Why didn't you text me beforehand?" He cut you off.
You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms, annoyed that he was questioning you instead of being happy to see you. "Because it was a surprise, Hee, that's the whole point. I wasn't supposed to tell you, surprises don't work like that."
Heeseung opened his mouth but cut himself off with a sigh, he turned his head around to look inside then back at you. "I didn't mean it that way, I just wished you would've told me before," he repeated with a softer tone this time.
You frowned and dropped your arms, you shouldn't have listened to Chaeryeong. Maybe you should leave, the next bus would be in two hours. Heeseung was still leaning against his door, you couldn't see past him. "Whatever, I'll leave then," you mumbled and waved him off, turning on your heel to walk away.
"Y/N! Wait!" Heeseung called after you but you ignored his calls and just continued forward. The taller boy caught up with you and grabbed your wrist.
You tried to shake him off but his hold on you was strong. "Let me go," you said through gritted teeth.
"No, you're mad," he said.
"Of course, I am! I wanted to surprise my boyfriend after not seeing him for weeks but he doesn't even look happy to see me!" You sneered at him, still trying to shake his hand off your wrist.
Heeseung's hands moved to hold your shoulders instead to keep you in place, forcing you to look at him. "Hey, I didn't say I wasn't happy to see you. I am happy to see you, okay? It's just that today's a busy day, love," he explained to you softly.
You stopped squirming and sighed. "Sorry, I just…I just really missed you okay," you told him. You overreacted and got mad at him without letting him explain himself. "Sorry," you said again.
Heeseung smiled warmly at you and pulled you into a hug. "It's okay, love," he planted a kiss on top of your head. You rested your chin on his shoulder and returned the hug.
Then, you watched as a certain blonde walked out of Heeseung's room. Hyewon stepped out of his room and waved at you with a smile. Was Heeseung hiding her? You slightly pushed Heeseung away and he took a step back in confusion. He turned around to see Hyewon and then back at you.
"Hyewon and I were working on a project," he quickly explained.
"Yeah," the other girl nodded in agreement. "If I had known you were coming today, I wouldn't have bothered Heeseung," she said.
"Ah, no. I'm sorry for interrupting the two of you," you apologised, slightly ducking your head. You're not sure if you meant the apology. Should you be sorry that you interrupted them? But Heeseung was your boyfriend.
"Well, I'll leave you two be," Hyewon smiled at the both of you before walking away.
You watched as Heeseung smiled at her and how his eyes followed her figure until she disappeared down the stairs. You bit your lower lip and clenched your fist together, feeling uneasy in your chest once again. Your hand reached to tug on his sleeve and he finally looked at you, like he forgot you were there in the first place.
He moved to hold your hand and lead you into his room, not before smiling softly at you. Instead of the usual feeling of butterflies in your stomach whenever he smiled at you, there was a sinking feeling. Because he smiled at Hyewon the same way. Your lips raised a small smile for him but it didn't reach your eyes. He doesn't seem to notice.
The door closed behind the two of you and you swung your arms before clasping your hands behind you. "So, what was Hyewon doing here?" You tried to ask naturally.
Heeseung wasn't looking at you when he replied, "She was here for a project," he hummed.
"What project?" You continued to ask more.
"For school," he simply replied, taking a seat on his bed.
You leaned against his desk while nodding your head. "Ah, so you're helping her?"
"Uh huh."
"Ah, didn't know you guys were this close…"
"Well, we are neighbours so it's just natural that we grew close, you know," he shrugged.
"Close enough to get on the Ferris Wheel with," you muttered under your breath. You thought Heeseung wasn't able to pick up what you said but his eyes snapped to look at you. You gulped, knowing you were caught.
"Love, I already said that we were there for the music video shooting," he told you with a tired sigh.
"I know, I know but I can't help feeling jealous, Hee," you explained yourself.
Your boyfriend sighed exasperatedly as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I already told you that we're just friends, there's nothing to be jealous of."
"Well, you would be jealous too if your boyfriend didn't mention that he was going to the amusement park with you and you found him hanging with another girl!" You scoffed sarcastically.
"I already told you it wasn't planned, Y/N. Why don't you trust me?" His voice was slightly raised when he spoke the last sentence, his expression was begging you to drop the topic.
But your stubborn self refused to let it go and stood up straighter. "Because you're making it really hard to trust you."
"What?" He looked at you in disbelief as he stood up as well. "How am I the one being hard right now? You're just being paranoid and you're letting your insecurities get the better of you!"
"Can you blame me?!" You raised your voice at him. Anger clouded your eyes as you begged him to understand your point of view. "We're so far apart and we rarely get to talk to each other and you're always brushing me off! It's almost like you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"
Heeseung groaned in frustration and dragged his fingers across his face. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're just friends, Y/N? Hyewon literally has nothing to do with this! I don't get why you hate her."
"Cause you talk to her while we're together," you knew that sounded childish and selfish but you were blurting whatever that came to mind.
"Oh, so now I'm not allowed to talk to other girls?" He curled an eyebrow at you while crossing his arms.
Your words were caught in your throat. "I didn't mean it like that-"
"Then what do you mean, Y/N? You never acted like this before," Heeseung rubbed his temples.
"Because!" You threw your hands out in frustration, trying to convey your words out, "I don't know what's happening in your life because we're not in the same school and I'm scared that you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"
Heeseung knitted his eyebrows at you, you don't know if it was from confusion or annoyance, maybe both. "Cheating? No, you just don't trust me! Never once did I doubt your relationship with Jeongin, so why are you doing this to me?"
"Don't bring Jeongin into this," you sneered at him, "you knew Jeongin since we were in high school. Hyewon is a completely different story. You…you look at her like…you're in love," your voice slowly died at the end, it was the final hit on the nail. You looked up at Heeseung, his eyes widened at your words.
They said the eyes are the window to your soul. Brown guilty eyes just stared at you, because you were right. Heeseung couldn't figure out his feelings and you just did it for him. Your boyfriend was falling out of love with you and he was falling for someone new. And you watched as he realised it right in front of you. You swore you heard your heart crack.
He held his head and took a step back from you, silence fell upon the both of you. "I-I think you should go," he managed to say.
"Yeah," you croaked out, your throat was swelling up. You walked past Heeseung in hurried steps and out the door to the stairs. You never saw how Heeseung dropped to his bed with his head in his head as guilty tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.
God, you wished he had thought this through before you went and fell in love with him.
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You haven't talked to Heeseung since that day, you knew that your relationship was over but your heart refused to believe it until those words came from Heeseung himself. A dark cloud hung over you and your friends didn't dare to ask. You felt betrayed by him.
You loved him at his worst, but that didn't matter. He gave you his word, but that didn't matter too. You were bitter, angry, devastated, heartbroken. But you couldn't cry, your heart was full of tears yet nothing came out. A single piece of tape holding back your fragile heart. A small sign of hope that you were wrong and Heeseung still loved you.
In the middle of a cold winter day, you were nestled between your warm sheets. Chaeryeong and Ryujin had left for lunch, not before promising to get you something. In the midst of your dark covers, your phone screen lit up and caught your attention.
[2:23 pm ] hee <3: We need to talk, I'm outside your door right now.
What? Your head snapped up to look at your front door. There's no way he was standing outside right now. Gulping, you pushed yourself up and walked to the door. Your hand hesitated, hovering right in front of the silver door knob. You already knew what was coming. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.
The same brown guilty eyes looked at you, and the little white lies from before all came crashing down at once. You stepped to the side to let him in and closed the door. Your back was facing him, you refused to look at him. Your hope was wavering, you don't know if you accepted it or not.
"I'm sorry," he was the first to break the silence. you still refused to turn around. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
Lies, lies, lies. You shut your eyes closed, your hand was still on the door knob, holding it tightly.
He inhaled a deep breath before saying his next words, "This is the end."
The words pierced your heart and it started to fall apart. This doesn't feel like a break up, it was the end of your story. It was him telling you that he was removing himself from your life. Falling out of love hurts, but losing a friend is the worst.
"Do you still love me?"
"What?"
"Do you still love me?" You finally turned around, your glossy eyes looking right at him.
Without a heartbeat, he said, "No."
And when you were alone again in your room, your heart finally shattered and the tears poured out like a waterfall. You fell to your knees with your hands clutching your heart, ugly sobs escaped from your lips. You were crying out the pain as big fat tears dropped onto the wooden floor,
Chaeryeong and Ryujin nearly dropped the food when they found you broken on the tear stained floor.
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Two weeks later (after being forced to get out of bed by Ryujin), you found your friends huddled at the same place of the cafeteria like when the music video was released. They were surrounding Daehwii with their heads ducked, whispering to each other.
"What are you guys doing?" Ryujin's voice caught their attention and their heads lifted to see the both of you, eyes widening at the sight of you.
Everyone exchanged nervous glances whereas you and Ryujin were left confused. You tilted your head to the sign to show that you were confused while Ryujin raised an eyebrow as if  demanding an explanation. Chaeryeong shoved Daehwii's shoulder and gave him a look, silently telling him to break the news.
Daehwii nervously looked between you and his phone before sighing, his shoulders dropping. Instead of saying anything, he showed you his phone. Ryujin reached over to take the device from him before you could see anything and squinted her eyes. The short haired girl inhaled a sharp breath and looked at your friends, finally understanding what was happening. She then looked at you, deciding whether she should tell you or not.
"What?" You asked her, your eyebrows furrowed as your patience was running thin. What were they not telling you?
But instead of telling you, she showed you. The phone screen displayed an Instagram post with a person holding hands with someone else. The caption was a simple "with him". At first you were confused on what it had to do with you, then Ryujin tapped on the post to show you the person tagged in the post. Heeseung's username appeared, your eyes travelled up to the owner of the post and it read Hyewon's name.
"Oh," was all you could say.
Your gaze averted down and you don't see how your friends exchange worried glances. "Y/N..." Chaeryeong softly called out to you while she walked towards you. She angled her head to look at your face with her arms around you.
Your mind was a mess, it took him two weeks to find someone new. No, not someone new. It took him two weeks to go off and date her. He talked to her when you were together. And you knew if he truly loved you, there was no damn way he could fall in love with somebody that quickly. Ryujin and Chaeryeong embraced you but you felt numb. He betrayed you. And you knew that he'll never feel sorry for the way you hurt.
"He cheated on you," you heard Jeongin say, but you shook your head as you tried to rub the tears away.
"Guess he didn't cheat but he's still a traitor," Jeongin rephrased.
The girls hugged you tighter when you let out a choked sob. Jeongin was right, he didn't cheat but he was a traitor. You played dumb but you always knew that he'd talk to her, maybe did even worse but you kept quiet so you could keep him.
God you wished that he had thought it through, before you went and fell in love with him.
© chaeryybomb 2021
a/n: this took so long to write and i wrote more than i expected. thank you for waiting and reading this, see y'all in "drivers license"!
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Anon who’s dog had a seizure. I wanted to be able to give a positive update, but I won’t be able to. I was woken up by a call at around 1:30am from my mom and the first thing she said was “[my dogs name] died”
I don’t know all the details, I was in a full fledge panic attack and was overcome with despair when it was either explained to me or I overheard (frankly, I don’t remember) but apparently at some point either last night or veryyyyy early this morning my mom let the dog out to use the restroom, and he collapsed again similarly to how he did two days ago. My mom rushed him to the emergency vet (a thirty minute drive) but he didn’t even make it there.
I think I was dry heaving at some point because my panic was so bad. I ended up going to the vet with my dad so I could say goodbye (he had before my mom left with the dog) and ngl, going with him did not help in the slightest. My dad has NPD and he kept making the situation about himself and I stg I was ready to throw myself out the car window in the middle of the freeway and walk the rest of the way there OOP—
I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to because of Covid, but we were allowed to all head into the vet and hold him and give proper goodbyes before they took him to be cremated (they have a partnership with some place that does all that jazz). It was rough. He’s a small dog, only 18 pounds, but just holding him felt so different. There was no resistance when I picked him up (I’m not his favorite person lol, so he’d always deadpan and shuffle away a little from me before giving in whenever i’d make grabby hands hahaha) and it was just rough.
A year and a half ago my old bird passed away in that same emergency vet, so I just felt like I was suffocating the whole time. It was basically history repeating itself and I had a ✨mental breakdown✨ while cradling the pooch. My mom almost had to drag me out 2.5 hours later because I didn’t want to leave him. I tried to be strong, he was her dog in the end and they had an unbreakable bond. I should’ve been the one comforting her, not the other way around. I totally failed lol.
Thank god I was able to go home with my mom and not my dad. I wanted to be the one to drive home so she could rest, but I didn’t have the energy to protest when I saw she was already in the drivers seat.
We’ve had him since he was a few months old. I was in first grade at the time, and despite us having a very rocky start (young me didn’t like all the attention he received bc it used to be mine) he was my lil buddy and I would have done anything for him. I was looking forward to taking my senior and graduation pictures with him soon, but it seems like that won’t be happening. I just wish I did more with him.
Sorry for rambling and being so depressing! I haven’t gotten much sleep over the past two nights so I’m really out of it.
If it’s not too much to ask for, could I have a part ii of my previous request but have it involving what I wrote above? Asdfghjkl my depressed ass needs comfort and all of my friends are in school LOL. (Thank god I was called off from school this time) Plus, I don’t wanna make my mom feel worse by adding my grief on top of her own (I hope that made sense)
Part 1
(A/N): anon, I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. From what you sent me about him, he sounded like an absolute delight to be around and a very good boy. You deserve to grieve too, even if you don’t think you should. Grieving is healthy and it’s something that shouldn’t be ignored. Everyone grieves differently, so maybe you and your mom could reminisce on the good times with him? Only if you both feel comfortable doing so of course. Please get some sleep, drink plenty of water, and eat some food if you haven’t already. My DMs are always open if you ever want to talk <3
Warnings: death of a dog and bird (mentioned), panic attacks, NPD parent mention
You were jolted awake by a loud ring from your phone laying on your nightstand. It was the ringtone you specifically set for your mom. Blinking deliriously, you answered with a raspy, “mom?”
You were only met with her choked sobs on the other end. This woke you up completely as you turned on a lamp and sat up fully in your bed, “mom what’s wrong?”
“(Dog name)...” She was unable to say your dog's name before she broke into more harsh sobbing. Worry and fear pricked your gut at the mention of your dog’s name. “What about (dog name)? What’s going on?”
“He d-died, (y/n). He isn’t suffering anymore.” You felt as if ice cold water was poured onto you as you sat staring at the wall in shock. Faintly you heard your mom telling you how it happened, but you didn’t register her words. The words that came out of your mother’s mouth were nearly incomprehensible anyways due to her distress. You didn’t know when she hung up, but the next time you looked at the phone screen your homescreen met you: a picture of you, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy at an amusement park. 
Your panic attack had escalated to you dry heaving over the toilet after puking up your dinner. You felt like you were suffocating as you remembered the techniques Techno used a few days prior. You stumbled up from a crouch and scrambled over to the sink. Your hands could barely grab the faucet and turn it on as you lost most of your sense of spatial awareness and everything you touched felt distant, like every single synapse in your body was both simultaneously working in overdrive and failing at the same time. The water was as cold as it was going to get, so you plunged your hands into the liquid and felt your body jolt at the temperature. After a while, your hands turned numb after regaining some senses back so you shakily cupped your hands under the faucet and gathered water into your hands. You splashed it at your face and felt yourself becoming more grounded as time passed.
By the time you left the bathroom, your dad gathered you into the car and started to drive you to the emergency vet. The entire time he was ranting about how you needed to pull yourself together because the dog was closer to him than to you. That definitely did not help in any way, it made you want to jump out of the car and walk the rest of the way to the vet. It would be better than having someone constantly belittling you for grieving. The ride was hell, but you persevered for (dog name). You needed to say goodbye to him.
When you left the car and walked into the building, it felt as if you were walking through the nine rings of hell with blazing infernos licking at your skin with every step. Dread and despair filled and overwhelmed you with every step. 
When a nurse escorted you to the room, she offered you her condolences and left you to say goodbye. With wide eyes, you slowly walked over to your mom and saw the motionless bundle of fur in her hands. It looked like he was sleeping, but you knew better. She looked at you with so much heartbreak and sadness as tears slipped down her cheeks that you remembered that he was her dog in the end and they’ve always had an unbreakable bond. You needed to be strong for her.
Your stony facade broke the second your mom handed you (dog name). He was cold and stiff as he laid unmoving in your arms, not even trying to wiggle out of your embrace like he always did. You were never his favorite person. He felt so… different. So wrong. 
Time passed around you as you held him and cried into his fur. This situation was very similar to your previous one that happened about a year and a half ago when your bird passed away and that was what finally sent you over the edge. Before you knew it, your mom was dragging you out of the building so he could get cremated. Your dad had long since gone home so he could get ready for work, so that left you to ride home with your mom. Not that you were complaining, it was certainly better than riding home with your dad. You just wished that you could drive so she could get some rest. 
By time you got home, it was about the same time you would leave for school. As you were driving down your neighborhood, you saw a very familiar car pass you. It was Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy’s car. They were probably going to school. You kept your head down and stared intensely at your tightly clasped hands. 
The second the car was in park in your driveway, you made a beeline for your room. For the rest of the day, you hid underneath your covers and ignored the incessant buzzing of your phone on the nightstand. You spent that time alone having a panic attack. This was your longest and most intense one yet, by the time it finally calmed down it was 10:30 at night. 
You smacked your dry lips together and feel absolutely drained. The buzzing still wouldn’t let up, so you reached out with a shaky hand and opened your phone. You had at least eighty combined missed texts from Wilbur, Tommy, and Techno. 
Tuesday, Innit?
Yo, the fuck’s goin on? 
Why the hell did you ignore us when we passed you???
Music man take me by the hand lead me to the land
Ignore that dumbass
What’s going on? You weren’t at school today
(Y/n)?
Technology Sword
You don’t have to tell us what happened if you’re not comfortable
Just tell us if you’re okay
That was only the start of the messages in the group chat. Granted it was mostly Tommy spamming your name and Wilbur and Techno trying to get him to chill out, but some of the messages managed to calm the swirling panic inside of you slightly. Your phone buzzed as you got another text. This time, it was an individual one from Technoblade.
Technology Sword
Look out your window, grab your notebook
You raised your eyebrows slightly as you read the message. Your window was right across from Technoblade’s, so when you saw Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” music video and showed it to Techno, you both decided that this would be your primary communication before you eventually got phones. It wasted a ton of paper, but you both felt like the main characters in a story so you kept doing it. You hadn’t done this since you got your phone and he got his. 
After you grabbed your spare notebook and a sharpie, you sat up in your bed and turned on your lamp. When you opened your curtains, you saw Techno smiling at you before he grabbed his notebook and wrote ‘hello’. 
You uncapped your marker, wrote ‘hi’, and shakily raised it to him. You saw him frown at your shakiness, he wrote ‘you okay?’
You stared at your paper for a bit contemplating whether or not you should tell him the truth. It was no use in lying to him, he knew you better than you knew yourself. After a moment, you wrote ‘no’.
You watched as he frowned and his eyebrows crinkled together in an upwards slant. ‘Discord?’
‘Sure’
You closed your curtains once more and opened up your PC. You could already see that Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy were in a separate voice channel. When you joined, you were startled by Tommy’s loud screaming and Wilbur’s hysterical laughter. 
“WILBUR YOU PRICK WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT I WORKED SO HARD GETTING THAT NETHERITE!” 
They were interrupted by a knock on Tommy’s door, “Tommy for the love of god it’s almost eleven at night kiddo. You can keep playing but please just keep it down.”
“SORRY DADZA!”
“Good job dumbass,” Wilbur chuckled.
“Hey (y/n), how’re you?” Techno’s somewhat pointed voice interrupted them. “(Y/N)! Please tell Wilbur that it’s not cool to borrow my armor and ‘accidentally’ fall into a lava lake.”
“It was an accident I swear!” Wilbur’s slight chuckle told you otherwise. “Wilbur,” your croaky and wobbly voice scolded him quietly, “not cool.”
The voice channel went silent as you logged into your shared minecraft server. You immediately spawned in the main lobby at spawn that you built the last time you logged in. You got to work gathering wood for walls you were going to build around the city. You saw Techno’s character run to you and help you gather wood. 
“...You good, (y/n)?” Tommy’s voice took on an uncharacteristic level of gentleness and concern. 
“‘M fine.” 
After a while of silence, you heard keyboards start to click again. Gradually conversation started back up and everything felt lighthearted once more. Though, you only talked when you were prompted to. After gathering the correct amount of wood, you and Techno went back to your house so you could craft some slabs. However as you approached the crafting table, you passed your bed. Next to your bed was your pet dog, barking slightly and looking at you with it’s pixel eyes. 
You could feel tears well up in your eyes at the sight of the pixelated dog. With a lump forming in your throat you struggled to breathe through it, your breaths coming out shuttering. You made quick work of muting yourself on Discord and started sobbing, the white dog staring at you sitting on top of your minecraft bed. This wasn’t a panic attack, you knew that. But you still felt overcome by a massive wave of grief. 
After a bit, you saw Techno’s character pop in front of you and start hitting the air. In chat, you saw that he private messaged you ‘vc 2’
You clicked off the main voice chat and was immediately greeted by Techno’s gentle voice. “What’s goin on buddy?” He was only met with your sobs, “deep breaths.”
“I’m not having a panic attack.”
“Still, deep breaths are good. Follow me.” With that, you two worked on getting your breathing back to normal and your tears slowly stopped. The entire time he was giving you praise and gentle reassurances whenever you tried to apologize to him. By the time you stopped crying you felt almost completely drained. 
“You okay now?” You hummed in confirmation, too tired to say anything. “Thank you Tech, I-I’m sorry-”
“Stop apologizing for feeling emotions. They’re one hundred percent valid… Do you feel comfortable telling me what happened?”
“I…” You trailed off as you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words out loud. “You don’t have to tell me, ya know.” Technoblade gently reminded you.
“I’ll PM it to you.” With that, you PMed him on minecraft explaining that your dog died this morning. “Fuck, I’m so sorry (y/n). I’m sure he isn’t suffering anymore. Did- did they ever find out what caused the seizures?”
“No, but… he had tons of health issues that I’m glad he doesn’t have to deal with anymore.” 
“Do you wanna talk about the good times with him with Wil and Tommy? If you don’t want to we can just talk about them here.”
“Let’s rejoin the main voice channel.”
“Hey (y/n), how’re you doing?” Wilbur gently asked you. “I’m alright, do- do you guys know what happened?” They both said yes. Technoblade must’ve told them what was happening.
“(Y/n) come outside. We built something for you.” Tommy was uncharastically gentle. 
When you moved to go outside of your minecraft house and Wilbur and Tommy led you to an empty spot in the city you four were building, you stopped in your tracks. In front of you built in various types of stone was a dog statue. In front of it stood a sign that read ‘in loving memory of (dog name)’.
“We aren’t done with it, but we can finish it in a couple of hours,” Wilbur mumbled into the microphone. 
“No, it’s perfect as it is. I don’t know what to say guys…”
“You don’t have to say anything, just know that we’re here for you.” Tommy said, his minecraft character walking over to your own and hitting you. 
“Oi, don’t hit them!” Techno punched him back and that started an all out brawl between the two. It quickly ended when Techno pulled out his fully enchanted netherite sword named ‘Orphan Obliterator’. 
“Get fucked, nerd.” You could just tell Tommy was holding in screaming at his brother. “I’m not the nerd here, you’re the one that reads for fun.” Tommy retorted. You heard shuffling on Techno’s end and him walking away from his PC. You were about to ask what was happening before you heard Tommy silently scream in terror. “Oh fuck he’s coming!” You assumed that Tommy ran to lock his door. Not long after that you heard a knock, “I just wanna talk.”
“No! You-”
“I just wanna talk.”
“Let him talk, Tommy!”
“NO WILBUR.”
You heard Philza’s groggy muffled voice, “it is midnight on a Friday. I don’t care what happens or who fights who, just do it in your own rooms and do it quietly.” 
“Sorry Dad,” you heard Techno’s retreating steps before he returned to his chair. “You’re a douche, Technoblade.” 
“I just wanted to talk, Tommy.” At that, Techno started beating Tommy to death once more. Each time he would kill Tommy, he would give Tommy a small head start before he would find him again. While this was happening, Wilbur PMed you ‘wanna prank Tommy and Techno? I’m thinking we put chickens under their houses’.
You looked at his player and nodded. You and Wilbur got to work luring chickens into holes you dug around their bases and burying them so that they were close enough to hear, but deep enough for it to be mildly inconvenient finding them. After you two were done with that, you met at spawn again.
“Techno stop killing Tommy. We want to tell stories about (dog name).” You saw Techno’s character sprint to your group and Tommy’s come up from a hole in the ground. “I was just about to find him.”
“Thank you! God, I hate it when he does that.”
The rest of the night you four spent reminiscing on the funny things that (dog name) did over the years. At some points you even laughed along with them. After you told them that you wanted to take your senior pictures with him, Techno offered to edit him into your photos. You didn’t know when you passed out but when you woke up, you had a crick in your neck and your PC monitor was off. You could hear three sets of soft snoring on the other end of the call. You felt yourself drifting off to their gentle breathing and smiled slightly; with them, everything felt better. 
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debbiechanclub · 3 years
Text
Know You Better Now (BTOOT sequel), Part 2
Probably not the best idea to drop this right after Extreme Rules, but I can’t wait because 😭 And that’s all I’m gonna say. Thank you for reading, and please enjoy!
Know You Better Now
Part: 2/?
Pairing: Kenny Omega x OFC x TBD 👀
Word count: 3.4k
Warnings: Language, ANGST
Find more of my fics here.
Tag squad: @galacticstat @hotyeehawman @hdbngsprnva @kingswitchblade @bec0m @betsy-bradock @heelchampbucks @linziland13 @librathepheonix13 @gabbynorth98 @exe-babymox-exe @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @brokenglassslippers @rocca09 @meteora-fc @kawaiikels @adriii-omega @thatgirlforever5 @sugar-melts-mo-fo
“Did you see the look on PAC’s face when he realized Alex broke up the pin? He was so-ho-ho piiiissed.”
Nick could barely finish speaking before he emitted a laugh that sounded more like an asthmatic wheeze, and everyone else joined in, the boisterous boom bouncing off the walls of The Elite locker room and making Alex’s ears ring. She’d never felt so out of place.
“He looked like an angry gremlin,” Karl piled on. He contorted his face and hands and made everyone guffaw and bark even louder. Alex rolled her eyes. Out of all of them, Karl annoyed her the most.
“Yeah, that was quick thinking, Alex,” Matt said. “I knew you wouldn’t let us down.”
He sent her a crooked, shit-eating grin. Had he not tacked on that last part, it might have been half a compliment. But he knew exactly what he was doing—and Alex did not have the patience for it.
“Us? Last time I checked, Kenny is the AEW Champion, not The Elite.”
The room went dead silent. Matt’s smirk vanished.
“Don’t act like you know anything about The Elite,” he bit. “You’ve been here all of two seconds. We were selling out the Tokyo Dome when you were still working bingo halls.”
“Whoa!” Kenny interjected. “Watch who the hell you’re talking to like that, Matt.”
The atmosphere went from shocked to tense; palpable. Matt’s jaw flexed, obviously embarrassed to have been put in his place in front of the boys. Alex smirked. He deserved it.
Kenny sighed into the quiet. “Alright, you know what? Everyone out.”
“What?” Gallows balked. “We gotta celebrate your big win, man—”
Don cut him off. “You heard what he said, everyone out!”
He herded them all toward the exit, and other than a few side-eyes and under-breath comments, they went without argument. It was the first time Alex had ever been thankful for Don to step in.
The door fell closed, and Alex and Kenny were left alone. His eyes were much softer than they’d been just a few seconds before.
“Are you alright?”
She nodded. “Yeah. It’ll take a lot more than that for Matt to get to me.”
“I know, but he shouldn’t have said it at all. It was out of line.”
“It’s Matt. What do you expect?” she returned. It made Kenny purse his lips in disappointment.
“He’s not out to get you, Alex. He’s just protective of his friends.”
Her eyes darkened. “Is there a reason he thinks he needs to protect you from me?”
He breathed out in frustration. “Come on, that’s not what I said.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I wish you two would get along.”
Alex stubbornly crossed her arms and looked across the room. This wasn’t the first time he’d said that to her. She knew it wouldn’t be the last.
“Hey.” Kenny gently gripped her shoulders, and she looked back up at him. “I want you to feel like you’re a part of the group, Alex. And I know right now you don’t,” he quickly added before she could interject. “But give it time. You’ve been at home working on getting healthy, and the boys just want to be sure that you’re a team player. Which… I’m pretty sure you proved you are tonight.”
She lightly sucked her teeth. “I did that for you, not—”
“I know,” softly interrupted. “But any of them would have done the same thing.”
Alex rocked back on her heels and turned her eyes down to her shoes. She understood where Kenny was coming from, one thousand percent. But she didn’t think she should have to prove herself to “the boys.” And truthfully… she didn’t want to be a part of The Elite, either.
But she also didn’t want to get into an argument with Kenny, so she just let it go. “Well, thank you for putting Matt in his place,” she said. She wrapped her arms around his waist and drew herself close to him. “I’ll do my best to get along with him so long as he’s not an ass to me.”
“That’s all I want,” Kenny returned, and he placed a kiss on her lips that was perhaps meant to be short and sweet, but neither of them pulled away. He brought his hands to either side of her face, and she pressed her fingers into his back as she lightly sucked on his bottom lip. He smirked against her mouth. “You want to get in the shower with me?”
She pecked his lips again. “No.”
He pulled back in surprise. “Why not?”
“Because. I look way too good right now to ruin it.”
He flashed a crooked grin. She already knew exactly what he was thinking.
“Fine. I’ll just ruin it when we get home.”
* * * * * * * * * *
Alex had honestly hoped Kenny would ruin it when they got home. But unfortunately, they didn’t go home alone; Matt, Nick, and Don went with them. At least the Good Brothers had decided they’d rather go drink at the hotel bar.
“So, have you officially moved in yet, Alex?”
Nick smirked at her from across the kitchen island, his mouth full of pizza. They’d ordered some “late night celebratory pies,” as Kenny had put it, but Alex didn’t have much of an appetite. She didn’t dignify Nick with a response either, instead just pursing her lips and taking a sip of the red wine she’d poured herself. As if he wouldn’t have already known if she’d officially moved in; he was one of Kenny’s best friends.
“Shit, I forget that she doesn’t ‘officially’ live here,” Kenny commented, making air quotes around the word. “It already feels like you do. Isn’t most of your stuff here?”
“Most of my clothes are,” she answered. “But I still have an entire house full of stuff in Virginia.”
“Wasn’t your cousin interested in potentially buying from you?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “I suppose. She asked me if I was thinking about selling, but we haven’t discussed it.”
“Well… maybe you should.”
He sent her a grin. She chewed the inside of her lip. “Maybe,” she returned, and took another sip of wine.
“Speaking of official,” Don segued. “Is Alex officially with us now?”
Alex stiffened. She didn’t at all appreciate that Don had spoken as if she wasn’t standing right there. But she couldn’t really answer him, either.
“Come on, why wouldn’t she be?” Kenny returned.
“Because tonight was the first time she’s been on AEW programming in what—nine months?” He fixed Alex with his beady eyes and finally addressed her directly. “People still think of you as part of Best Friends. And even though you broke up that pin in Kenny’s interest, the fact of the matter is that you technically helped Orange, too.”
“What?” Kenny let out a loud, disbelieving laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous, Don! She would have done the exact same thing if it had been Orange going for the pin instead of PAC.”
“Would she?” Matt challenged. He glanced at Alex. “Would you?”
Kenny’s eyes widened at him. “Really, Matt?” he charged—but Alex spoke up.
“No, if they’re so concerned about it, then I’ll tell them.” She leaned forward on the island and looked Matt dead in the eye. “Of course I would have done the exact same thing if it had been Orange going for the pin instead of PAC. And you know why? Because I was out there in Kenny’s corner tonight, and tonight was the first time in months that I’ve seen or even spoken to Orange or any of the others. So no, I’m not a part of Best Friends anymore.”
It hurt to finally say that out loud; but it wasn’t anything Alex hadn’t already known deep down. She’d known it as soon as Kris had popped out of that claw machine a month ago… maybe even sooner. And their behavior toward her that night—Trent’s behavior—had only proven it.
Kenny wrapped an arm around her waist and placed a kiss on the side of her head. Matt, meanwhile, said nothing. It seemed she’d finally shut him up—for now.
Don nodded. “That’s all I need to hear.”
Alex shifted. Somehow, she doubted that.
“Well, now that that’s out of the way,” Nick interjected. “Do you guys have any ice cream?”
“Jesus, Nick,” Matt breathed; but Kenny perked up.
“We do, actually. Alex has turned me onto Blue Bell.” He started for the freezer. “Do you want some, baby? We still have mint chocolate chip.”
Alex shook her head. “No. I’m actually gonna head upstairs; I’m exhausted.”
Part of her knew that, by going to bed, she was only inviting them to talk about her more. But she didn’t care. Matt could spew whatever bullshit he wanted; Kenny knew where she stood, and that was all that mattered.
He nodded. “Okay. I’m honestly not far behind you.”
She put her wine glass in the sink and gave him a kiss on the way out of the kitchen. Her legs were tired as she climbed the stairs to their bedroom. Our bedroom, she realized she thought of it as, not Kenny’s bedroom. She wasn’t sure when she’d made that switch, but she was hyper-aware of it now after Kenny’s comment just a few minutes before. But just the thought of selling her house stressed her out; she had enough on her plate as it was, and she didn’t want to give any of it any more of her energy for the rest of the night—
Beep-beep!
But she got a text just as she crossed into the bedroom. She sighed and pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans—and stopped when she saw the screen.
It was from Trent.
I’m sorry about what I said tonight. I just didn’t know how to react.
Alex’s brow lowered as she read the message. She knew Trent, and something in her gut told her that he hadn’t sent that on his own. No; Kris had probably beat him over the head until he’d relented. He would have been better off not sending anything at all.
She purposefully opened the text so that he would get the “read” notification, and then she locked her phone, tossed it onto the bed, and went into the bathroom to do her nighttime routine. If there was one thing she definitely would not give any more of her energy to, it was that.
* * * * * * * * * *
The Dynamite following Double Or Nothing wasn’t until Friday, so Alex had nearly an entire week to mentally prepare herself. She needed the extra time. Because, in the interest of “publicly clearing up any confusion” about where her loyalties lied, Don had booked her a sit-down interview with Excalibur.
She’d been furious when he’d told her. So had Kenny—he’d set it up behind both their backs. But of course, Don had talked him down and convinced him that it was “the right move.” Afterward, Kenny had profusely apologized to her; but she’d just told him to forget it. She’d do the damn interview. She wanted to speak her mind.
But now that she was sitting across from Excalibur in one of the backstage areas at Daily’s Place, she felt like she might vomit.
He spoke to the camera as he opened up the interview. “I’m sitting here with Alex Hawthorne, who made a surprise return after a nine-month absence at Double Or Nothing this past Sunday… and before we get into the interview, Alex, I just want to say welcome back. You were gone rehabbing a shoulder injury, and you’ve clearly come back in fighting shape. I think we all did a double-take when you walked out with Kenny Omega on Sunday.”
Alex felt herself relax a bit. It felt good to be acknowledged. She hadn’t felt that in a while. “Thank you, Excalibur, I appreciate that. It feels good to be back, and I have come back in fighting shape—not just physically, but mentally, as well. When I found out that my shoulder needed surgery, it was a bitter pill to swallow. And I’m not gonna lie; I struggled with it at first. But I distinctly remember waking up in that post-op room after surgery, and I realized right then and there that I could either let this injury drag me down, or I could use it as an opportunity to come back even better than before. And I promise you—and the entire AEW women’s division—that this isn’t the same Alex Hawthorne who competed in that ring nine months ago.”
Excalibur nodded. “Which begs the question: when can we expect you back in the ring?”
She breathed out. “Soon,” she nodded, her tone determined. “I still have some work to do, but it’ll be soon.”
“And we all look forward to it,” he said. “But you mentioned that you’re not the same Alex Hawthorne you were nine months ago. We’re used to seeing you at ringside in support of Best Friends… however, you returned in Kenny Omega’s corner for the AEW World Championship match at Double or Nothing, a match that also included Orange Cassidy. Is it safe to say that this new and improved Alex Hawthorne has moved on from Best Friends?”
Alex’s heart jumped into her throat. There it was, the million-dollar question, the reason for this entire interview, and if she didn’t know any better, she’d think Don had fed that line directly to Excalibur. But he didn’t like Don any more than she did—and she needed to give an answer. So, she did.
“It’s safe to say that, yeah.”
Her stomach churned and she looked down at her hands in her lap. It was out there now. She couldn’t take it back.
“Well, I have to ask,” Excalibur started, and she flicked her eyes back up at him. “You interfered in the match on Sunday and most likely prevented PAC from winning the AEW World Championship. But you also prevented Orange from taking the pin. Is there no part of you that did that for him?”
Alex’s brow lowered. First Don, and now this? Why was everyone so confused about her motive? “No. I did that for Ken—”
“Who cares who ya did it for!”
She was abruptly cut off by an angry, distinctly accented voice, and then PAC unexpectedly stalked into the interview area. He fixed Alex with a wild-eyed glare. “It’s like Excalibur said… you cost me the AEW World Championship.”
Alex leaned away from him in her chair as he moved closer. The entire sight of him was jarring, that ubiquitous scowl of his contorting his face, his dark, wet hair dripping water down his bare chest. She looked him over in confusion. Why was he already in his gear, ready to go? He and Penta had a match that night against the Young Bucks, but the show didn’t start for another two hours.
Excalibur tried to intervene. “PAC, we’re doing an interview here—”
But PAC just talked over him. “I know you’ve been gone a long time, Alex. And I have to admit, you do look good. So, here’s a bit of advice: instead of interfering in his matches, why don’t ya stick to being Kenny Omega’s arm candy.”
Alex’s eyes darkened. Suddenly, all her surprise turned to anger. “Arm candy?”
“You heard me,” he spat.
“Do you even own regular clothes? Or do you just live in your gear dripping wet like you emerged from the Atlantic Ocean?”
“Hey, PAC!”
Another person interrupted then, and Alex and PAC both looked over to find the Young Bucks, Brandon Cutler, and the Good Brothers stalking toward them. But it wasn’t just them. They had Rey Fenix—and it looked like he’d already been jumped.
Matt smirked. “Did you lose something?”
PAC growled in his throat. He charged toward them—but they dumped Fenix to the floor and retreated, laughing as they did. Nick held up his hands. “We’re saving our energy for the match tonight!”
PAC let them go, choosing instead to help his friend. Meanwhile, Alex jumped up and ran after them—the interview was over.
“Hey!” They all turned to look back at her, but her focus was zeroed in on Matt. This was his doing, she knew it. “What the fuck did you do that for?”
He scoffed. “To send a message, obviously. Come on, Alex… I thought you were with us now?”
He flashed another crooked smirk, and then they all started off again, patting each other on the back and hyping the Bucks up for the match that night. And Alex just stood and watched them go, all the while realizing that she was with them now—and she’d all but said it for the entire world to hear.
* * * * * * * * * *
“You ready to head home?”
Alex looked up at Kenny, re-emerging from her thoughts. She nodded. “Please.”
He gave her a sympathetic smile and held out his hand, and she took it and let him pull her up and lead her out of the locker room. It was the end of the night, and she’d been ready to head home before a single match had even been contested.
To her great surprise, Dynamite had started off by airing the footage of her interview. Alex had barely been able to watch, knowing what was coming, what she’d said. But when it was all said and done, it didn’t even feel like it was about her anymore. The interview had led right into the tag match between the Young Bucks and PAC and Penta—the story became the Super Elite’s attack on Fenix, not her return. And Alex wasn’t sure if she was more relieved that they’d distracted from the fact that she’d basically disowned Best Friends, or more angered that they’d taken away from everything else she’d said.
“I am ready to just relax and spend the weekend alone with you,” Kenny said as they walked down the hall. He grinned at her. “I told everyone to lose my number.”
Alex returned his smile, and Kenny lifted the back of her hand to his lips; but she barely noticed as he kissed her. She was too distracted by the group of people who had appeared in the corridor.
Best Friends. All of them. And it didn’t take long for Trent to say something.
“Where’re you going, Alex? Kris has a Dark match. Oh, wait—that’s right. You’ve moved on from us.”
“Dude,” Kris chastised and lightly smacked his shoulder. “Don’t.”
Kenny scoffed. “I’d listen to your alien friend, Trent.”
“No one was talking to you,” Orange returned.
Kenny narrowed his eyes at him. Alex squeezed his hand in protest; the last thing she needed was for him to go on one of his power trips. Thankfully, he let it go.
“I’ve already taken care of you, so I won’t embarrass you in front of your friends,” he dismissed. “Come on,” he said, and he started to pull Alex past them; but Trent just couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
“Was that you giving that interview? Or were Kenny and Don pulling the strings on your mouth?”
“Fuck, Greg,” Chuck breathed—but Alex spoke over him.
“Was that you who sent that text Sunday night, or did one of them make you send it?”
She glared a hole through Trent, unwavering and angry, waiting for him to say something for himself. Anything. But he just bit down on his jaw, silent. Alex scoffed. It was just as she’d suspected.
“What text?” Kenny asked in confusion. Alex didn’t take her eyes off Trent as she answered.
“Trent sent me a text after Double Or Nothing apologizing for being a dick to me before your match. He said he ‘just didn’t know how to react’ to seeing me.”
“I didn’t know how to react,” Trent fired back.
“Oh, so it was just the apology that was bullshit, then.”
He breathed out and looked stubbornly away, nothing to say again. And as she continued to stare at him, Alex realized that she wasn’t surprised or even hurt by his reaction. Instead, she was vindicated in everything she’d been feeling.
Her gaze sharpened. “But since you asked so nicely; yeah, that was me giving that interview, one hundred percent. And you have no room to be angry about it, Trent, because whether you want to admit it or not, you all moved on from me months ago.”
Chuck’s brow furrowed in confusion. In hurt. “What? Alex—”
“Save it,” Kenny cut him off. “Good luck in your match, Kris,” he added, and then he tugged on Alex’s hand, and she turned and went with him, ignoring the way her sinuses burned.
45 notes · View notes
livingstonegordo · 3 years
Text
Operation Idiots in Love
Bobby
"Okay, that's it." Hen sighed as she watched Buck run up the stairs and out the front door. "I can't take it anymore. We have gotta get them together."
"Get who together?" Bobby asked, sipping a ginger ale.
"Those two idiots who are so far up each other's asses they can't see how in love with each other they are!" she exclaimed, gesturing to where Buck disappeared too.
Chimney was nodding enthusiastically as he listened to Hen. "He's literally abandoning us because Eddie called and said he broke up with the teacher!" He threw his arms up in the air, dangerously sloshing his own drink.
"Maybe we shouldn't meddle in their personal lives, guys," Bobby admonished lightly. "If Buck and Eddie are going to actually take the leap they need to do it on their own."
"Bobby, this is a family, and family meddles in each other's personal lives." Athena gently smacked his arm for emphasis. "Not to mention they're both so oblivious it could take 20 more years before they get it together." There were laughs and murmurs of agreement from their group.
Bobby and Athena had planned a small baby shower for Maddie and Chimney, not wanting to host too many people during a pandemic, but wanting to celebrate with their chosen family. It was just them, Hen and Karen, Buck and Albert, and of course Chimney and Maddie. Eddie had been invited but had back to back appointments for Christopher and was supposed to have lunch with Ms. Flores. They'd gotten through presents, cake, and some games and were mostly just hanging around and chatting in groups when Eddie called Buck to report that, for whatever reason, he and Ana had decided to call it quits. Buck had been sprinting up the stairs before Eddie had even stopped to take a breath.
"Whose personal life are we meddling in?" Maddie asked as she made her way over to them, leaving Karen looking bewildered with a very enthusiastically gesturing Albert.
"Buck and Eddie's," Chimney said, leaning over to kiss Maddie on the cheek when she gracelessly plopped next to him on the couch. "We can't take it anymore. They obviously need a push, just to get the ball rolling."
"I wholly agree," Maddie said. "They're never gonna get there on their own." She was slowly rubbing a circle on her stomach.
"We'll need to plan it out carefully," Hen said. "Maybe we should schedule something where we can get together and brainstorm."
"I'll make a group chat now." Athena set her drink down on a coaster on the coffee table and pulled out her phone.
"We should come up with a code name," Maddie said. "We don't want them knowing we're talking about them."
Grinning, Chim said, "Operation Just Admit It Already."
Hen snickered. "Operation No Homo."
"Excuse me?" Karen said walking up.
"Operation We Can't Stand the Sexual Tension Any Longer." At that Maddie shook her head then lightly pushed Chim.
Hen quietly explained what they were up to to her wife (who looked more and more gleeful with every word) while they all got a text from Athena who had finished creating their group chat. Bobby looked at his phone, a little dismayed to be included in it, but he smiled when he saw the name of the group chat.
"That's perfect, Athena." Maddie smiled. "It's not exactly discreet but they're so oblivious they would never think it's about them."
"Bobby called them that the other night, I thought it was fitting."
"We should include Carla! She'll be so angry if we don't. She likes to gossip about them with Maddie!" Chimney said.
"We do not gossip about my brother. We simply vent about how dumb they are." Hen and Karen laughed while Chimney rolled his eyes.
Bobby sighed, sure all future down time was going to be spent on this.
Operation Idiots in Love.
---
Maddie
The next day Maddie had some time, so she called Carla to explain what they were up to and she asked immediately to be added to the group chat.
"I've been watching those two dance around each other for years. It is high time they get it together."
"Oh I know!" Maddie exclaimed. She was sitting at the table with a cup of tea, wishing it was a second cup of coffee. "I met Eddie and Chimney at the same time and I said to Buck that day ‘he's cute’ meaning Chim, but Buck immediately responded with ‘he gets that a lot, you should see his son’ cause, you know, Eddie is always on his mind. Even back then." She shook her head even though Carla wouldn't be able to see it.
"They've both been through so much, before they met and after. I just want to see my two boys happy."
"And Christopher will be okay with it, right?" Maddie, who was always on the verge of tears these days, fought to keep herself from crying.
"Honey, Christopher has told me at least 4 times that he wants his dad to marry Buck, so that Buck can be around all the time!"
"He has?" Maddie asked, losing the battle with her tear ducts.
"That boy loves our Buckaroo so much,” Carla said, and Maddie could hear the smile in her voice.
"Buck loves him so much, too," she said, sniffling. "Okay I will add you to the group chat. But I am warning you now you might want to keep it muted. Chim and Hen have been blowing it up all morning."
After hanging up with Carla, Maddie had a stern talk with her tears ducts -we cannot cry over everything for the rest of this pregnancy!- downed her tea and quickly got ready for work. She'd downgraded to only working part time as her pregnancy progressed. Since this was a geriatric pregnancy (God, did Maddie hate that word) she knew she and the baby were at a higher risk and wanted to make sure she wasn't over exerting herself- not to mention the fact that she cried a lot easier these days. And when you're a 911 operator crying is not beneficial to the people who really need her help. When she got to the call center she saw May and Linda already on the phones and Josh standing with another operator named Cheryl. She quickly made her way to the locker room to stow her bag, stopped for more tea from the break room and settled in at her desk. It was an hour later when she got some inspiration from a call. The caller was a young woman, Daisy, who was on a first date at a small vegan restaurant, and her date, Cara, had been hit by a car while crossing the street after lunch- nothing serious just a broken leg, though, from the sounds of the scene, the driver was under the influence. She dispatched a squad car and EMS to the scene and waited with Daisy who was on the verge of a panic attack. Maddie was able to keep her calm by giving her clear directions on how to help her date, and reminding her to breath. Daisy had the phone on speakerphone, laying on the pavement next to Cara’s head and when the paramedics arrived Daisy let out a sob. “They’re here! Maddie, the paramedics are here!”
“Good. I may be a little biased, but the 118 is the best firehouse in the city and they will take excellent care of Cara.”
“Playing favorites, Mads?” she heard Chimney say followed by the smack of his chewing gum. “Guess I can’t really blame you. Alright, Miss, can you tell me your name?”
“Cara,” she said weakly. Daisy must have picked up her phone and turned off speaker phone because Chimney’s voice became quieter as he continued to assess Cara’s injuries.
“They know you?” Daisy asked.
“They do.” Maddie smiled. “We’re family.”
When Daisy disconnected the call, Maddie quickly wrote down the name of the vegan restaurant knowing that her brother would love it.
---
Hen
In the week since they started this group chat Hen and Chimney had been tossing out plenty of outlandish and silly plots to get the boys together, but she knew none of them would actually work. Maddie was working on something involving a restaurant but so far nothing had happened. They needed something so rational and normal that Buck and Eddie wouldn’t even question it. They needed a new tactic so she opened up Operation Idiots In Love and sent off a message.
When did you first realize? >Hen
Chimney< When Buck completely lost it when Eddie was trapped underground
Chimney< dude was clawing at the mud with his bare hands WAILING
Karen< Christmas 2019 he organized that whole dinner so Christopher could spend Christmas with his dad!
Carla< Xmas 2019 for me as well
Athena< When Bobby called Eddie after he stole Chimney’s phone and was nearly arrested.
Karen< Does that mean Bobby knew before then?
Karen< The first time Hen mentioned it to me was when Buck arranged for Christopher to spend the day at the firehouse. Is that when you knew, babe?
Chimney< 🤮 babe
That was the day I called it. The way that Eddie looked at Buck that day nearly knocked me over >Hen
👊🏾👀⚠️>Hen
Maddie< I think I knew for sure after the tsunami. Buck called me, completely wrecked because he didn’t know how to tell Eddie they were there.
Chimney< 🪓💪😙
Chimney< What about you cap?
Bobby< The tsunami was when I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Bobby< No one else saw them after they took that live round out of the guy’s leg in the back of the ambulance. My gut knew then.
Maddie< Wasn’t that Eddie’s first week at the 118????
Chimney< IT WAS!
Bobby< I don’t think they were in love then. But I knew they would end up here.
Bobby< Buck was actually flustered when Eddie complimented him.
“Flustered!” Karen exclaimed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Buck flustered.” Hen gazed down at her wife who was laying across the couch with her head in Hen’s lap. Hen had been absentmindedly playing with Karen’s hair (which Karen loved) and had a few strands wrapped around her knuckles.
Chimney< You know that Eddie got under Buck’s skin that very first day
Chimney< If Buck hadnt been so wrapped up in Abby back then things would be so much easier now
Athena< I hate to say our Buck needed his heart broken, but the heartbreak from Abby certainly helped him get to where he is today.
Athena< We got front row seats to Buck maturing these past few years.
Buck 3.0 🙈🤣🙄 >Hen
Carla< He really has come so far ❤🙌🏼
Maddie, how is your plan coming along? 👀 >Hen
Maddie< So I'm thinking of asking him to meet me at this new trendy vegan restaurant, but I can’t think of a good reason for standing him up and suggesting he go with Eddie 🤔
Karen< He would jump at the chance to try a new vegan restaurant! 🌱🤤
Carla< Oh he would love that, not so sure about Eddie though 🥩
Maddie< Exactly
Chimney< Hes so pretentious
Maddie< Honestly, I figured Eddie would go because Buck asked. But even if he refused Buck would probably pick just another restaurant
Maddie< I just can’t think of a plausible excuse for bailing
Maddie< Buck is too good at telling when I am lying 🤥😔
Chimney< Tell him you’re having contractions! 🤰👶
He would just rush off to the hospital, Chim > Hen
Bobby< He would just want to be at Maddie’s side
Karen< No, he would just want to be there for Maddie
Chimney< Alright, alright, hes too good of a brother for that 🙏
Chimney< 🙄🙄
Hen looked at the time and sighed. “You okay with making dinner, while I do some homework?” she asked.
“Of course, babe,” Karen said, smiling up at her. “Just give me 5 more minutes on the couch with you.”
“Anything for you,” Hen said, leaning down to kiss her wife’s forehead.
---
Chimney
Maddie was at a doctor’s appointment and Chimney, upset at not being able to go and bored at home on his own, invited Buck and Albert to go on a short hike. It was a small trail that had only just opened up after the mudslide, and while Albert was a little disappointed it wasn’t a more difficult trail he at least understood that Buck and Chimney both were hesitant to embark on a long trail with Maddie so close to her due date. The trail was fairly empty so they had taken their masks off, though Chimney was a bit weirded out by how naked he felt without it while in public. With Albert running ahead and out of earshot, Chimney decided it was a good time to ask Buck about his love life.
And naturally- he was incredibly awkward about it.
“So, Buck 3.0?”
“Yeah?”
“Is he gonna dip his toe in the dating pool anytime soon?”
Buck let out a huff of breath, looking down at his feet. “Buck 3.0 is about letting go of the past, but honestly? I still don’t think that I’m really in the right headspace to be dating now. Therapy is helping, but it’s not an overnight process. It’s a lot of work letting go of nearly 30 years of low self esteem and abandonment issues.”
“You’ll get there,” Chim said, clapping Buck on the back. “You’re honestly one of the best people ever, Buck.” Buck looked over at him with a single raised eyebrow. “I will deny it if you tell anyone.” He pointed a finger a Buck for emphasis. “But you are my favorite brother.”
Buck’s face cracked into a brilliant smile and he put his hands over his heart. “Oh, Chim, do you mean it? Really and truly??”
Chimney laughed and gave Buck a shove. “I hope it echoes in your ears for the rest of your life because I’m never repeating it.”
“It’s okay. I’m Albert’s favorite brother too.”
“You are not!”
“And Albert has no problems telling me every time I wash his clothes.”
“You wash his clothes for him! Buck, never, ever give Albert anything he will never be able to take care of himself!”
“I don’t mind the laundry, so I don’t make a big deal about it. I do Eddie’s laundry sometimes too.”
“You do Eddie’s laundry?” Chimney asked, eyebrows raised high above his aviator sunglasses.
“Eddie hates doing laundry, and I mean hates. I’ve been over there while he was switching loads and he was grumbling under his breath the entire time. So sometimes if Eddie lets it pile up for too long I’ll do a couple loads while I’m there.”
“You do Eddie’s laundry?” Chim asked again, eyebrows still raised high. It was actually getting a little painful, so he let them relax and come back down. He couldn’t believe this. How domestic. He was definitely telling that to the group chat.
“Yeah, man, it’s not a big deal. Laundry helps my brain calm down. I focus on the clothes and not on all the negative shit running around up here.” He tapped his temple with his first finger, looking down at his feet again.
There was a couple jogging towards them so the conversation stalled while Chimney and Buck pulled out their masks and put them on.
They were quiet as the couple passed them, nodding in greeting and continuing on their way. When Chimney pulled his mask back off he asked, “So what happened with Eddie and the teacher?”
Buck looked over at him, eyebrows raised again as he tucked his mask into his pocket. “He didn’t really say,” Buck answered.
“He didn’t?” Chim asked. “Doesn’t he, like, tell you everything?”
“Usually. But you know Eddie. He processes things on his own time, and when he’s ready he talks about it. All he would say was that she is the one who ended it and that he wasn’t really that bothered because it was just casual and now he doesn’t have to talk to Christopher about him dating.”
“Christopher would be okay with him dating, though, right?”
“I think he would,” Buck answered. “He is legitimately the best kid I have ever met, and he wants his dad to be happy.” Buck looked at his feet here and Chimney noticed his cheeks were a little more red than before. “Chris told me once he wants his dad to date me.” He chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck.
Chimney knew this already, because Maddie had told him what Carla said. He was very interested in how red Buck was turning though, another thing to report to the group chat. “Christopher wants you to date his dad?”
"If I date his dad then we can hang out all the time."
"You would love that." Chimney gave Buck a little shove. "Well all know Christopher is your favorite person in the entire world."
"He is," Buck agreed. He shoved Chimney back a little harder so that Chimney veered off the trail briefly. "He's better than you lot by miles."
They were quiet for a moment and Chimney debated whether or not he should ask. In the end his mouth won and he asked, "Would you?" Buck glanced over at Chimney but didn't say anything. "Date Eddie?" he clarified.
Buck turned an alarming shade of red and opened his mouth to respond when they heard Albert call to them.
"What are you two doing?" He was running towards them, sweaty and grinning. "I made it to the end of the trail and halfway back! Pick up your pace!!"
Buck grinned and took off running. Chimney took out his phone and started texting.
---
Athena
May was working, Bobby had run out to the store, and Harry was still staying with Michael so Athena found herself with a rare, quiet evening. She poured herself a glass of wine and headed to the table on the back patio. The Operation Idiots in Love chat she had started had been pretty active that day but Athena hadn’t had the chance to look through it until now. When she was all caught up with Chimney’s discussion with Buck and everyone’s reactions she sent off a “Sounds like they’re already dating…” and placed her phone face down on the table.
Over the years she had come to think of Buck as her step son of sorts and after seeing his heart break so many times, she just wanted him to finally be happy. Athena wasn’t one to believe that a person needed to be in a relationship in order to be happy, but the only time she had seen Buck looking genuinely content and happy was when he was around Eddie.
Plus she had been a cop for 30 years. She was an expert on picking up on the things left unsaid. She had no doubt that both of them wanted something more, but they were both too terrified of being rejected by the person they depend on the most.
Maddie’s plan was half cooked, at least, and Athena didn’t think that it would really work the way that they wanted it to - and not just because Eddie refused to eat vegan.
She was contemplating possible plans when Bobby returned. He dropped the groceries in the kitchen and came outside, hands falling on Athena’s shoulders and dropping a kiss to the top of her head.
“You’re radiating your Sergeant Grant energy,” he said as he pulled out the chair next to her. She just raised her patented Athena Eyebrow at him. “Lay it on me.” Bobby waved a hand between them. “What are you planning?”
“Nothing yet. Just thinking about what could work.”
“For Buck and Eddie?” “Mhmm.” Athena sipped her wine.
“You don’t think they need to get together in their own time? What if whatever ‘Operation’ we all come up with backfires and ruins their relationship?” The air quotes around ‘operation’ were very clear in his tone.
“I think that their relationship, as it is, is strong enough to withstand any sort of awkwardness that we may create if it backfires.” Bobby still looked skeptical. “Look, Buck and Eddie have both been burned in the past. And now they have essentially built their entire lives on top of each other. Co-dependant is how most people would think of it. They’re both terrified of losing each other so neither one of them will ever make the first move. They just need a little nudge. Something to get them both open their damn eyes and look at each other.”
“Okay,” Bobby said, nodding. “We need to keep Chimney and Hen reined in though. They seem to be a little too invested in this.”
“Agreed.”
“How about we have them over for dinner? Just the two of them and the two of us.”
“Mmm a double date?” Athena gave a second, totally different, patented Athena Eyebrow.
“That’s the goal isn’t it?” Bobby stood up pulling out his phone. “I’ll text them.”
“Have it be next Friday,” Athena called. “May will be working late that day.”
“Alright.” Bobby disappeared inside the house and Athena turned back to her wine. She picked up her own phone to text Hen and Michael about the three boys - Harry, Denny, and Christopher - having a much needed sleepover. Harry had been missing his friends since the pandemic started, and if it was just a small group Athena didn’t think they would have to worry too much.
Twenty minutes later Michael was added to Operation Idiots in Love and Athena was texting Eddie to see if Christopher could sleepover Michael’s next Friday.
152 notes · View notes
dembenchboys · 3 years
Text
Don’t - Tyson Jost
Tumblr media
AN: this has been in my notes for like 6-7 months now I hope you enjoy! It’s based if the song don’t by Ed Sheeran.
Warnings: cheating and a mention of sex nothing detailed at all.
Word count: 1.9k
I met this girl late last year
She said, “Don’t you worry if I disappear”
“Yes.” That's the response Layla whispered in Tyson’s ear after he asked her to spend the night with him. As he planted more open mouth kisses to her neck, Tyson could feel her breath quicken and her plus racing up.
Tyson wasn't expecting to be taken back by the stunning brunette with green eyes who he locked eye contact with as she was busy dancing in the corner with her girlfriends when he went to the local bar Monday night with the boys for a simple night of relaxing. When they bumped into one other at the counter and she introduced herself to him while grabbing a drink, he wasn't expecting his heart to race a little quicker. He hadn't expected to be bringing her home at the end of the night, yet here he was, holding her hand as they climbed into the car he had booked for them.
What Tyson really wasn't prepared for was the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he woke up to an empty bed and a piece of paper on his nightstand with only 11 numbers scribbled on it.
I told her I’m not really looking for another mistake
I called an old friend thinking that the trouble would wait.
Tyson realized he should've tossed the little letter away as soon as he got off the phone with JT who reminded him to think with his head and recommend throwing it away. But Tyson, on the other hand, was always one to follow his emotions rather than his mind or gut instincts. After all, he was known as a softy for a reason. His head was telling him that he should simply toss the paper away since it was just going to cause him misery. His emotions, on the other hand, were reminding him of how he felt last night when he made eye contact with her. They were reminding him of how his heart raced and how he felt a nervous pulse in his stomach for the first time in a long time.
So, four mornings after waking up to an empty bed, he decided to take the plunge and message her. He realized that texting her at 11:00 a.m. would not lead her to believe it was a booty call. Tyson opted to keep it short and sweet, only saying, "Hey, how are you?" And before he could back out, he sent the message, not realizing how drastically those four words would impact his year.
It was 10:45 p.m., according to the clock. Tyson had become increasingly nervous as Layla had yet to reply. He was thinking to himself, what if he had waited too long, what if she had just left the note out of kindness and didn't mean it? But his phone vibrated in his hand just as he was about to turn it off and put it away for the night. And there was a text message from Layla on his phone screen, saying, "I'm okay, what's up?" “Have you finally missed me enough to send a text?” Tyson felt the blood rush to his checks at that moment, as he hoped she didn't realize how long he had been waiting, but she did. Tyson decided to make up for the fact that he hadn't spoken to her in four days, so he spent the rest of the night getting to know the lovely woman he thought had a good heart.
But then I jumped right in a week later, returned
I reckon she was only looking for a lover to burn
Tyson decided to invite Layla over after about a week of talking with her through his phone and tossing the idea around in his head. He had all of the spare time in the world before heading to Alberta since the Avs season had just ended.
Tyson had discovered recently she was a CU Denver student. So when they agreed on a Saturday, Tyson realized she wouldn't have classes, so he wouldn't have to worry about her cancelling, but he was still worried that she wouldn't actually show up. When a soft knock came to his door around 1:00 p.m., those nerves faded.
When Tyson awoke to an empty bed on the Tuesday morning he was supposed to leave for home, he wasn't surprised. Tyson found himself going to bed with someone and waking up alone more often after that Saturday afternoon spent with Layla at his place.
Then I put it on pause until the moment was right
I went away for months until our paths crossed again
After waking up alone on that Tuesday morning when he had to leave, Tyson wanted to put some space between himself and the situation. Tyson knew that if he went down that particular road with Layla, his heart wouldn't be able to heal if anything bad happened. Tyson tried not to think about her during his time in Alberta, but it became more difficult with each passing day. Tyson found his feelings growing towards her each day. He found himself thinking about her at odd times throughout the day, hanging with his family? Layla. Sitting around the fire pit? Layla. in bed right before he closed his eyes? Layla. She was an addiction, the kind you get when you try a new treat and can't stop thinking about it.
Tyson promised himself he wouldn't message her again until he returned to Colorado, and he kept his word. He'd been back in the city for about three weeks before he decided to pick up where they'd left off.
She told me, "I was never looking for a friend
Maybe you could swing by my room around ten
Baby, bring the lemon and a bottle of gin
We'll be in between the sheets 'til the late AM"
After several late-night phone calls to catch up, Layla eventually told Tyson what this meant to her after he invited her to dinner. “Around 1:00 a.m. on a Monday morning, she muttered to him, "I'm more into the friends with benefits situation right now." Tyson was definitely devastated but he was willing to take whatever Layla had to offer.
Tyson was unprepared for the feeling he got when he glanced down at his phone after leaving JT’s apartment to see a text that said, "baby, I'm swinging by your place with a bottle." Tyson knew that meant he'd wake up alone in the morning, yet he didn't care at the time.
Tyson and Layla had been seeing each other more and more in recent weeks. Tyson’s feelings for Layla became stronger over time, but he never expressed them. He just loved her company, and if that meant getting lost in the sheets more often than not, so be it.
And for a couple weeks I only wanna see her
We drink away the days with a takeaway pizza
Tyson was in a slump, he wasn't producing on the ice as he wanted to, and the media was branding him a draft bust because of it. As a result, he found himself blocking others out, with the exception of one individual. Tyson discovered that Layla was the only one he truly wished to be with. She didn't mention hockey at all, because they could easily lose themselves in each other and block out the rest of the world. They'd eat as much takeout pizza as Tyson's diet permitted.
Yet something changed between them in those few weeks. Layla confessed to developing feelings for the curly-haired boy. As a result, they opted not to label what they were doing, but they did promise not to see other people. Not that Tyson was doing so before.
Wish I'd have written it down, the way that things played out
When she was kissing him, how I was confused about
Now she should figure it out.
Tyson should have known something was wrong when Layla started staying at school longer than usual, but he didn't think much of it, assuming it was just finals. Tyson should have known something was wrong because she took longer to respond to his text messages and began avoiding his phone calls, but he was so wrapped up in the feeling she gave him that he didn't notice. When Layla failed to pick him up from the airport on Sunday morning, Tyson should have known something was wrong, but he just convinced himself she slept in.
But two things happened when the car he ordered from the airport arrived in front of Layla's apartment and he saw her kissing the kid from her biology class: one, Tyson's heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach, and two, something clicked and everything made sense to him.
That afternoon, at Tysons' place, he had to have a conversation he would never forget .Layla explained that she genuinely wanted to be with him and that she was just messing around with Tyler, the name of the kid from biology, because she wanted to be official with Tyson. And in a relationship, she puts a significant importance on trust and respect.
So they agreed to become an official couple that day, and the eight weeks that followed were some of the happiest memories Tyson had managed to make.Tyson grew more and more in love with Layla with each passing day, and he indulged in it. He treasured the cuddles and long conversations late at night. Tyson was certain he was in love with Layla, or Ly as he began to refer to her. He was about to reveal her to the group of people in his life that he held in high regard: his teammates.
She was crying on my shoulder, I already told ya
Trust and respect is what we do this for
I never intended to be next
But you didn't need to take him to bed, that's all
And I never saw him as a threat
Until you disappeared with him to have sex, of course
Tyson wasn't expecting to see Layla on the sofa on top of Tyler from biology when he stepped into Layla's apartment on the morning of the 23rd, three days before their three-month anniversary, ready to celebrate because he'd be on the road. But that is precisely what he saw.
Layla didn't know she'd been caught until the beautiful white roses fell to the ground and the door slammed shut  from behind her.
As the knock on Tyson's door rang through the silent apartment, Tyson knew that all that had occurred in the previous year, his best days, and the one person  he could turn too would all be gone in less than 20 minutes.
Tyson had never expected to have a conversation like this one in his dark, relatively clean apartment. When Layla cried on his shoulder, he reminded her of their compromise on trust and respect, telling her, "If you were unhappy, you should have left, I never saw him as a threat, well, before you slept with him of course."
But after all of the screaming and pleading, Layla gathered her belongings and closed the door to Tyson's apartment; the sound that echoed in the house was almost close to Tyson's heart beating in his chest.
As Tyson came into the dressing room the next morning, feeling dishevelled, he grumbled to JT that he should have just thrown it out.
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jadequeen88 · 3 years
Text
Crimson Canopy
The last thing you thought you’d be doing that day was seducing a god-like, mythical creature... 
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PAIRING: Harpy!Hawks x Female!Reader
TRIGGER WARNINGS: oral/penetrative sex, praise kink (if you squint), wing kink, (it’s all pretty vanilla)
AS WITH ALL MY WORK THIS IS NSFW. ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS PLS
This is an AU with no quirks. Humans live a long side mythical races and creatures that they abuse for the most part. You’re part of a secret organization that saves and protects them. 
**************************************************************
Sweat dripped into your eyes as you reached the top of the trail. Panting, you wiped it away with the back of your hand. Wishing (not for the first time today) you’d gotten your ass out of bed earlier so you’d be out of the afternoon heat, you take a long drink from your insulated water bottle. You knew you had patrol duty today, but you still thought it was a good idea to stay up trying to drown your depression with bourbon.
As your breathing slowed, you pull out your phone to see a new message.
Bre: “Done yet? It’s really hot out! Did you find anyone/thing that was injured?”
You: “Not done yet. Got a late start. No sign of any traps set off so far. I’ll text when I’m done.”
Bre: “Good news! Stay safe :)”
You slide your phone back into the pocket of your cargo pants and sit on a nearby stump. From this vantage point, you could use your binoculars to scan the wooded valley below for anyone who needed help.
As you scanned the area, a thought you’d had a million times before flirted through your brain. “I really am disgusted by my own species most days.” If humans weren’t so ruthless, greedy, and arrogant, you wouldn’t have to be out here in the first place.
You were part of a secret rescue agency that saved endangered mythical creatures and races of humanoids from poachers. Whether it was unicorns murdered for their horns and blood, wood elves captured for horrific genetic experiments, or griffins murdered just for existing, humans were relentless. Although, most of the human population grouped elves and other intelligent humanoids into basically being animals themselves. Despite the fact that these races had their own languages, customs, art, and social hierarchy just like humans. The lack of empathy on the part of your race made your stomach turn and your blood boil.
It didn’t take long to spot your first victim. But this seemed... different. The cries were not fully human, not fully animal, but completely full of rage. And the wind! It was as if a small cyclone had suddenly rose from the ground and threatened to swallow the small patch of forest in the valley. You had no idea what could be causing the commotion, but you did know it was caught and needed help. It needed help fast. A lot of poachers had cameras or alarm systems to alert them when a trap was set off. You knew you had a small window or time before things got dire.
You expertly navigated your way down the hillside, having made a crude path over time on your patrols. Within a couple of minutes, you approached the ring of trees that were being violently shaken by the forceful wind.
When you looked into the chaos, you could see enormous, crimson feathers beating wildly into the air. Your eyes widened in wonder and horror when realization washed over you.
“Holy shit.... A Harpy....”
They were so rare and so removed from human society that many believed them to be fairy tales. But what you saw in front of you was definitely real. The creature beat their wings so furiously you couldn’t even make out the rest of their body. The growls and cries of rage still pierced the air as the wretched creature thrashed against its metal wire trappings.
It never got easier seeing just how brutal these traps were. A simple bear trap would be a mercy in some cases.
Not knowing a better way to get the creature’s attention, you let out a loud, high whistle.
The massive wings froze and you were able to see flesh between them. The harpy’s skin was crisscrossed with thin, metal wires that began to dig angry, bleeding cuts all over. A pang of despair rang through your chest. You noticed a golden blonde head slowly turn to face you.
For the second time today, you were absolutely astounded by what you saw in front of you.
A MALE Harpy! You knew enough about the creatures to know that only about 1 in 20 babies born were male. You’d never in a million years expect to come face to face with a Harpy. Let alone a male.
Once the shock wore off, another realization fell over you. He was absolutely, drop dead, gorgeous.
His long golden tresses hung wild around his face and his amber colored eyes burned through you. He had the chiseled jaw line of a Greek god and you couldn’t help but stare for a moment.
You quickly snapped out of it when you realized why you were there. You had to save him.
You slowly circled around to face him, palms out showing you weren’t a threat to him. He wasn’t buying it, though. You knew if he wasn’t bound by metal wires, he’d be eating away at your throat right this second.
Once you were face to face with him, you were able to appreciate the full extent of his terrifying beauty.
His perfectly sculpted chest was bare and bleeding from struggling against the wires of the trap. His mouth was pulled into a snarl, baring sharp canines and you were absolutely sure they could slice through you in a second. The only article of clothing he wore were a pair of woven cropped pants. They were made in an intricate pattern. The anthropologist in you wanted to ask what the material was made of and how it was woven... until a half growl, half whimper brought you back to the reality of the situation.
Your eyes trailed back up to meet the Harpy’s honey-golden irises. The pain in them made your chest ache.
“H-help.... p-pl-please...”
You froze, shocked that this mythical creature was actually able to communicate with you. Most elves you came in contact didn’t speak English. How could a Harpy, an even rarer species, speak it?
You didn’t have time right now. Questions could wait until later. You quickly swung your bag off your shoulder and pulled out your wire cutters.
The closer you got to the creature, you could notice tremors through his body. Especially at the base of his large wings. His right one was bound in what looked like a very uncomfortable position.
You held the wire cutters out in front of you and made eye contact with him.
“These will cut the wires. Okay? This will help.”
You made sure to use the word “help” since he seemed to understand that.
You received a curt nod, his golden, feathery hair flopping into his eyes a bit more.
After snapping ten of the vicious wires loose, he was able to remove himself from the rest. You noticed his hands had long, black nails that were reminiscent of talons. You looked curiously at his feet to see if he had talons. You always heard that Harpy’s had long, nasty talons for feet that they’d gut their prey with. You were slightly (pleasantly) surprised to see perfectly normal feet wearing plain, deerskin moccasins.
You heard a deep, rumbling chuckle and looked up to see him laughing at you while rubbing at his sore biceps.
“You expected horrible talons that I’d use to gut you with, no?” His eyes widened and he exposed his sharp canines when he said “gut you”. Something stirred in the pit of your stomach and you stiffened with surprise.
“Oh god! I’m so sorry! I’ve just... I’ve never met a Harpy, much less a MALE Harpy and you know, we hear so many rumors. I’m just fascinated by your species and culture and-“ you were silenced when he clasped one of his large hands over your mouth. He looked around, obviously sensing something you couldn’t.
He pulled you into a bear hug. You barely had time to register what was happening when the Harpy growled “Hold” into your ear.
With one thrust of his powerful, crimson wings, you were above the tree line. That’s when you heard a gunshot. The Harpy shot forward with incredible speed and didn’t slow down his speed until you were over the next mountain. When you were well away from the danger of the poachers, his wings flapped a little lazier and you were gliding along the air currents at a more relaxing speed.
After the initial shock wore off, you became more aware of your surroundings. You clung to the male like a koala hanging onto a tree. Your arms wrapped around his back tightly and legs around his waist, linking your ankles so you wouldn’t fall.
You immediately blushed as you noticed how hot the flesh of his arms were around you. One arm was positioned under you grabbing your outer right thigh. The other arm gripped your upper back, his strong fingers digging into your ribs right under your breast. You stiffened, embarrassed at the warmth growing between your legs. It’s not like you could really pull away.
You shift your hips nervously, hoping to make your position less awkward. The Harpy caught on to this subtle gesture and you felt his chest rumble against yours. Was he... laughing at you?!
“Excuse me... umm, Harpy... sir. Is something funny?” you ask, growing redder in the face by the second.
“Hawks” he purred in your ear. This did not help the growing heat your body was producing.
“What?”
“Name. Call me by Hawks. It is easier for a human to say than my birth name.” his voice was deep and he spoke with a musical lilt to his voice that was hypnotizing to you.
“Oh...” you trailed off, losing the train of thought you’d had.
There was a long pause before he continued speaking, as if he were pondering the right way to frame his thought.
“Amusing... it is.. amusing to me how easily a human female is....” he trailed off, searching for the right word. “Aroused” the last word was purred directly into your ear.
A shudder went through you and just as you were about to unleash a flurry of curses on him, you felt a jolt as his feet landed on wooden planks.
Hawks leaned forward and let you down gently. You could see you were on a balcony in the top of a massive tree. Branches concealed any evidence that there was a structure built into the tree. You followed the Harpy (or “Hawks” as you now knew him) into a small cabin like structure. Inside was one open room set up like a studio loft. You were amazed at how human everything felt. One wall was lined with bookshelves (guess that’s how he can speak English). There was a small kitchen area and on the opposite wall, a neatly made bed. You didn’t know what to expect a Harpy’s home to look like, but it wasn’t this.
You had so many questions to ask, but didn’t know where to start.
Any questions you had fell silent as the angelic Hawks turned to face you. Two slow steps forward and he was inches away from your face. You froze as his inquisitive eyes trailed your face. From your hairline down to your collarbone. He looked very serious; like he was studying a text book.
Hawks held up one of his hands and gently ran the tip of his index finger down the bridge of your nose. His soft touch ghosted over your lips causing you to involuntarily part them slightly. This caught his attention and his head cocked slightly to the right. He leaned in and you thought he would kiss you, but his face found the crook of your neck and he buried his nose into your warm flesh. You felt him breathe your scent in and your eyes rolled into the back of your head.
“You do not stink, human.” Hawks spoke into your skin.
“Umm. Thank you?” You questioned, not knowing if you should be offended or not.
“As children... we learn that humans are vile and evil. But you...” hawks trailed off, nuzzling his nose into your neck. "You are my savior”
Warmth spread through your chest and without thinking, you tangled your hands into his golden mop of hair and massaged his scalp. You felt his hands gently touch your hips and his beautiful wings encircle you both.
“Most of us are vile and evil, Hawks,” you whisper into his hair, breathing in his woodsy scent. “But some of us try to do better.”
As you continued to massage his scalp, you could feel a humming against your neck and a slight vibration running through his chest. Was he... purring?
Now was your turn to giggle. His face met yours with an embarrassed expression this time. He pulled away and his wings drooped slightly.
You cupped his face in your hands and touched his forehead to yours to ease his discomfort.
“That was a beautiful sound...” you whisper against his lips.
His liquid gold eyes met yours and you froze wondering what would come next.
Slowly, Hawks nuzzled his cheek against yours in a tender gesture. The purring noise quietly started back up and you returned his soft nuzzling gesture.
The earthy, warm smell of his skin was hypnotic. You sighed, wondering what his lips would taste like under your tongue. As your thoughts started spiraling further into your fantasies, Hawks froze.
“Taste...” he whispered, “May I taste you, human?”
Your eyes met again.
“Yes...” you whispered, mere centimeters from his face.
Hawks planted his lips onto your collarbone. After a soft kiss, you felt a long, languid lick trail all the way up to your shoulder. You bit your lip to stifle a moan.
Hawks was obviously not concerned with you hearing his reactions, because a low growl/moan escaped his lips as contact broke and he licked up your neck just as slowly.
The second lick made you shudder and your voice escaped before you could bite it back.
The purring sound got louder and he nuzzled your ear with his nose. The grip he held on your hips tightened and he pulled you in to meet his body. You gasped as you felt the bulge rubbing against your thigh.
“CHRIST he’s huge...”
“Hawks...” you choked out his name in a whisper.
He met your gaze. He was smiling sweetly and his eyes were wide with excitement. You paused and looked from his bookshelf to his face. Then, your eyes traveled around his walls. They were littered with paintings of humans (mostly women) and a lightbulb clicked on.
You grinned slyly and he looked confused.
“You have a human fetish....” you growled seductively.
His eyes widened and his cheeks turned red. His embarrassment only turned you on more. Realizing you had an advantage over the god-like being gave you an abundance of confidence.
“Please sit,” you gesture towards his bed. Slightly confused, he follows your direction.
You walk over and stand in front of him. You hold his hands and look into his eyes.
“First thing’s first. My name is Y/N. You should probably know my name before we begin.” He returns your soft smile.
“Y/N.... I like it.” Hawks says softly.
You melt hearing your name on his lips. Still holding his hands, you place them at the hem of your shirt.
You tremble slightly, in complete disbelief. Seducing a rare, mythical being wasn’t even close to on your mind when you awoke this morning.
“You can undress me if you’d like” your voice cracks and he senses the nervousness in your voice.
Hawks grabs you around the waist and gives you a reassuring hug, burying his face in your stomach.
He pulls away and stands to face you. You raise your arms to make it easier for him to remove your shirt. First your shirt, then bra, then pants are removed. You’re standing face to face with Hawks in nothing but your panties.
He sits back on the bed studying you then kneels in front of you on the floor. Your heart does a somersault in your chest as he grabs your ass.
Hawks plunges his face between your thighs and breathes in deeply. You shudder and moan as you feel his sharp nails dig in to your flesh.
He looks up at you, pupils so dilated you barely see the gold irises.
“I will try to be gentle... human” he pauses and smiles showing canines “Y/N”
Hearing him growl your name causes your knees to weaken and Hawks is quick to hold you up in his firm grasp.
With speed and precision, he takes your panties in his mouth and rips them off, tossing them to the side. Before you register what happened, you’re tossed onto the bed and have you legs draped over Hawk’s broad shoulders.
The Harpy’s wings fly open blocking almost all the light in the small room then slowly descend to tuck behind his back. You watch, hypnotized by the beauty of them. He notices and sports a prideful smile.
“Maybe this is part of their mating ritual? Remember to ask him later...”
Your inquisitive thoughts were ripped from your mind as you felt Hawks’ tongue enter your sopping wet hole. Your hips bucked into his face as a guttural moan escaped your throat.
He begins lapping at you gently, drinking you in. Then he pulls away meeting your gaze.
He takes a finger and experimentally rubs your swollen clit. You throw your head back and nearly scream out with pleasure.
“This... is a human female’s pleasure point. Yes?” He smiles, knowing the answer by your reaction.
“Shit, FUCK, yes... ahh, yes it is. But it’s very sensitive and has to be handled gently” you try to talk while he’s still rubbing small circles around your clit.
“Mmmm...” he hums removing his finger. You feel his arms wrap around your thighs then his soft lips wrapping around the sensitive nub.
Your body rolls upward to meet his mouth. This causes Hawks to resume the involuntary purring from earlier. Feeling the vibrations from it nearly sends you over the edge. His speed gradually increases as you reach your climax.
“Hawks!” You scream out his name as you come, tightening your thighs around his face.
He looks up at you, your slick glistening all over the lower half of his face. A wide grin showing sharp canines spreads across his face.
“That was.. orgasm?” He asked, massaging your thighs.
“Yes. Oh fuck yes it was...” you pant.
Hawks licks his lips proudly then pounces on top of you enveloping you in a strong embrace. You bury your hands in his hair and giggle as he peppers your neck with kisses.
You gently grind your thigh into his his crotch eliciting an animalistic growl.
“When a human female orgasms,” you purr into his ear, “it means her body is ready to take the male,” another slow grind into his bulge, “inside her...”
This sent Hawks completely over the edge. His pants were off with lightning speed and you felt the head of his swollen member at your entrance. His wings flex out again in another impressive display. As he slowly enters you, his wings draped over your bodies forming a cocoon of crimson feathers.
You writhe and moan as he plunges into you, inch by delicious inch. You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him into you. This awakens something in Hawks. He growls and plunges into you.
As he ruts into you mercilessly, you feel sharp canines begin to bite into your shoulder. The mixture of pleasure and pain causes you to cry out.
“OH FUCK, Hawks... yes!” You scream, clawing into his shoulders.
This causes him to bite hard enough to draw blood and his pace quickens. Without thinking, your hands trail inward to pet the downy feathers at the base of his wings. This set Hawks over the edge.
Throwing his head back, he growls and you notice a trickle of blood dripping down his chin. You take it as a good sign and begin massaging the base of his wings. A shudder runs through his body and his eyes roll back into his head.
Feathers trembling, Hawks cries out as he releases inside of you. Your hips roll into his as you ride the wave of your second orgasm. Your walls clamping around his cock causes him to whimper and sink into your chest.
Once you both even out your breath, you wrap your arms tenderly around his waist and massage his muscles.
“So...” you pant looking into Hawk’s golden gaze, “ your wings?”
He turns red and grins sheepishly.
“A Harpy’s pleasure point.” he whispers, gently touching his lips to yours. You realize this it the first time you actually kissed him and close your eyes relishing his velvety, plump lips.
“Mmm...” he hums before breaking the kiss, “Y/N... you are the most...” he stops to run his tongue along your lower lip, “delicious creature...”
Your smile widens as you kiss him again. This time, your mouths part and tongues touch gently.
“Hawks, you’re amazing,” you whisper, relishing the taste of him lingering on your lips.
Hawks nuzzles back into the crook of your neck and resumes his hypnotic purring.
“My... savior...” he breathes. Your hand strokes his golden locks as you feel him drift off to sleep.
A smile lingers on your lips as you drift into sleep under a canopy of crimson feathers
199 notes · View notes
achliegh · 3 years
Text
Revenge
This is way more my element, I love writing tragedy. This is intense; this has even more TWs then before. This will be a lot of my biggest fears put into one fic and somethings that have actually happened. I won’t be telling which is which. There will be almost no comfort in this fic and it will be ending on a cliff hanger with nothing after. So, let your mind wander.
CW/TW: Past Abusive relationship, Anxiety, Depression, Panic Attack, past age difference relationship (Illegal), Violence, sexual assault, revenge p0rn
Part1 Part2 Part3 Ending1
Characters belong to @lumosinlove
Besides Luka, I made him up, don’t care for him tho
Leo and Sirius had left to talk to Coach about three hours ago, long enough that Logan was getting anxious. He and Finn were sitting on the couch trying to distract themselves by watching shitty shows on TLC. My 600lbs life was on but neither of them knew whose story it was because they weren’t paying attention.
“Should we text them and ask how it's going? I mean it’s been a long time..” Finn looked up from his phone while chewing his lip. His finger is hovering over his phone's keypad, he had created a group chat with him, Sirius, Logan and Leo. He hadn’t texted anything but was worried about Leo, he can’t get the idea of Leo stuffing himself between the toilet and bathtub while hyperventilating. He didn’t want Leo to go through that again especially not in front of people who he was close with but not as close as he and Logan are.
“I don’t see why not… I am getting nervous also.” Finn sighs and nods, kissing the Canadian’s hand that was intertwined with his as a way to anchor themselves.
Cap, Lo, Peanut and You
Fish: Hey hows it going???
7:00pm
Cap: ???
Cap: Ask Nutty
7:01pm
Lo: Isn’t he with you?!
7:01pm
Cap: I dropped him off in the parking garage like an hour ago…
7:09pm
Fish: WHAT?!
7:10pm
Finn was officially freaking out he was calling Sirius while Logan was calling Leo. Leo’s phone was going straight to voicemail. Logan called 15 times and was crying by the 5th. Finn got a hold of Sirius after the second try.
“Why didn’t you answer the first time!?” He was so scared that he was getting angry at Sirius who was only trying to help. “You dropped him off an hour ago? Why didn’t you walk him up to the apartment? You know the situation he's in! WHAT THE FUCK!” He was crying and hung up on Sirius and throwing his phone down on the floor and covering his face with his hands. Logan was still trying to call Leo, desperately clutching his phone.
Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door. The boys fell over each other as they ran to the door. To their disappointment, It was Remus and Sirius. They let them in, sitting at the island in the kitchen Remus spoke first.
“Okay, so we know Sirius was the last person to see Leo. Do we know that Leo hasn’t just taken some time for himself? He has been pretty distant lately and Sirius said he was pretty secluded when he dropped him off. He asked Sirius not to worry about walking him up.” He furrowed his brow thinking about how odd that sounded now that he was repeating it. He looked over at his boyfriend.
“It sounds weird now that I think about it.. I should have listened to my gut.” Sirius was obviously blaming himself for this and rests his elbows on the counter and puts his face in his hands. Then they hear it… Logan and Finn’s phones are going off. Finns was still on the floor and Logan's was on the coffee table. Finn got up to retrieve them. He almost drops his phone back on the floor when he sees a message from Leo. Leo. That means he’s okay. Right? He’s okay. He grabbed Logan's phone and trotted back over to the trio.
“It's from Leo!” He unlocked his phone before Logan and froze. He grabs his lover's arm and stares at his phone. It was a link to an Instagram live. He looks at Logan's screen to make sure he isn’t seeing this wrong. “It’s a link to a live…” Suddenly everyone's phones are blowing up with messages and twitter @s and dms. It was all about Leo. People saying this is a sick joke and some people even cheering something on. Finn clicks the link, he wished he never did.
On the screen was their beautiful boy, tied up, beat up, naked and sobbing. There were three voices they could hear. One was laughing, one was yelling horrible things into Leo’s face while holding him by his hair, and the last one was talking about how Hot all this was. Logan, Finn, Remus and Sirius all sat in a defining silence. The background of the video was somewhere outside. They could hear water running, they could see grass on the ground and blood. There was a lot of blood. The man holding Leos hair looked at the camera and smiled. This man had the audacity to smile as he was committing a horrible crime!. They watch him push Leo down and stomp on his head.
Leo was crying out in pain, they all heard a crack before the video went quiet. Then all three men in the video started laughing. What happened next was disgusting. They started masturbating over Leos unconscious body. After they all came onto Leo there were lights that came on in the background. They were police lights. The live Ended and nobody moved.
Logan suddenly ran into the bathroom and was vomiting while Finn just broke down falling to the ground screaming and sobbing. Sirius started crying and mumbling to himself so quietly no one could understand. Remus was still completely frozen, having no idea how to react.
Logan was crying as he threw up, he just kept heaving even when his stomach had nothing left in it. The sound of the crack was repeating in his head as he shakily sat back on the floor and sobbed. Finn was pounding his fists on the ground telling himself it was his fault. He was crying so loud that he didn’t hear the knock on the door. Remus, being the only one who hasn’t broken down yet from what he saw, walked to the door and opened it a little to see who it was.
“Is this the residence of Finn O’Hara and Logan Trembaly?” Two Police officers stood outside the door. Remus nodded and was just staring at them waiting for them to say something. “Leo Knut has been the victim of a violent crime, He is alive but in a bad condition. He's at Gryffindor Community Hospital. He's in the ER right now but I would recommend you get down there. We will be questioning him and all of you when he wakes up.” Remus nods again and quietly thanks them. He scrapes up all the boys and gets them to the car in one piece. The drive to the hospital was eerily quiet.
They got to the hospital and walked into the ER, they saw five different police officers there, talking to a nurse. Logan went up to the front desk to ask for news about Leo. They were sent over to the officers who were talking to the nurse about the injuries The young boy had acquired.
“We’re here for Leo Knut” He says to the group. The officers look at them sadly and nod to the nurse. They walk away to go sit down. One puts a hand on Logan's shoulder and shakes his head. All their anxiety is now through the roof.
“Why don’t we go somewhere more private.” She leads them into a glass soundproof room as Logan and Finn take a seat Remus Speaks up.
“We’re going to go call the team and let them know what's going on” He and Sirius go to call everyone outside the Hospital doors.
“I’m sorry this happened, I don’t know the full extent of the crime but I heard it was on a Livestream.” She looks at them sadly as she organizes the papers on her clip board and sits across from them. “ Let's talk about the injuries Mr. Knut has, The ones not to worry about too much are cuts and scrapes to knees, rope burns all up his arms, and a broken nose. The more intense injuries are the ones we are operating on right now. He has blood in his lungs along with a collapsed one, a broken collarbone and his left hand is shattered. He also has a broken Jaw and severe concussion.” She looks up at them. “It is going to take a long time and a lot of work for him to heal completely. I watch him play hockey… I can tell he's a fighter.” She smiles a tiny bit at them. “If you need anything at all ask the front desk for Cindy. Also, stay in here as long as you need.” She gets up and opens the door, she closes the door behind her after she sees that neither of the boys had moved.
About 3 hours and a lot of tears later Cindy had knocked on the door to the glass room where Finn, Logan, Remus and Sirius were standing and pacing. Jackson and Knuny were standing in the corner watching them all pace and Timmy was sitting on a chair bouncing his leg anxiously. They were brought to a room where Leo’s information was written on the door, it pulled at everyone's heart. They all agreed to have Logan and Finn go into the room first, They knew Leo wasn’t awake and would be for a long time.
They opened the door and walked in. There is nothing worse than seeing your lover in a hospital bed with their mouth wired shut. Lo almost couldn’t look at home without crying. He felt Finn pull him into a tight hug as they cried together. This was their boy! The love of their lives!
... And they let this happen to him.
The next time they saw those baby blue eyes. They cried.
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estherwritess · 4 years
Note
First off, congrats on the milestone!~ I'm excited for the prompt event. Can I request one of poor underappreciated Aone? Prompt "OH you're jealous" or "that was kinda hot". Really couldn't decide😩 just choose the one that speaks to you most. And fluff please (my fragile heart can't handle angst)
Aone!! My severely underrated baby boy !! ! I hope u enjoy this bc I LOVED writing it. 
For a while now you’d always hang out with your boyfriend Aone, his intimidating exterior usually kept people from approaching the two of you. You didn’t mind that, it usually meant that you could peacefully enjoy your breaks and lunches. However, people usually got the wrong impression from his physical appearance even though he was a sweetheart through and through. He’d pass by your house to pick you up and walk you to the station and he would also bring you back home safely, because of that, your mother was a big fan of him.
As the bell rings, signaling the end of your shared lunch break you press a kiss to his cheek. You both bid your goodbyes as you part ways, you were approached a bit more by people you knew if Aone wasn’t around. You found it sad, but you didn’t blame them, you were scared of your boyfriend at first too. You check your phone for the last time before class starts, the soft chiming sound is audible as a ‘see you later!’ text from your boyfriend rolls in.
The class is moving at a slow pace as the teacher is babbling on about a group project, the announcement doesn’t elicit much of a response from you, seeing as you usually got grouped with people who would let you do about 90% of the work. As you hear your name announced together with an unfamiliar sounding name, you look around, only to realize that it’s someone totally unfamiliar, as everyone has gotten in their groups he’s the only one left standing around. You wave him over, nodding over to the empty seat next to you,
“I don’t recall seeing you around,” you look him up and down, deciding that you had definitely not seen him before; he has tousled brown hair and a slight scowl plastered on his face. You’re a bit taken aback by the raspiness of his voice as he plops himself down next to you, at first glance he seemed like the type to be grouped in with the delinquent kids. Although, the more you two are working out the specifics of the project, the more you find yourself taking a liking to him.
You’re so immersed in the project discussion with Ryo, that you had barely noticed the kids around you packing up their bags as well as Aone waiting next to the exit of your classroom, arms crossed across his chest. You didn’t think much of it, seeing as he’d always have an angry looking facial expression unless he was talking to you or his teammates. As you put your books away you feel a hand grab your lower arm, stuffing a paper inside of your palm with a smile.
“Here’s my number, so we can keep up,” he gives you a curt nod and begins packing up himself. Your attention is pulled away as Aone wraps his arm around your waist, guiding you out of the classroom. His grip is tight, you feel his fingers grip your waist, pulling you closer to his side as he walks you back to the station. The walk back is quiet, he doesn’t say much and doesn’t seem to initiate any kind of conversation as you two step on the train home.
You can’t help but notice the slightly awkward tension lingering in the air, all you can do is glance at him every now and then; his gaze is tightly focussed on the chairs opposing him. Settling back into your seat, you lay your hands onto your lap, looking at the passing scenery mulling about what could’ve gone wrong.
His silence carries on into the walk home, it’s not as if he’s refusing to take your hand while walking, but his replies are short and he doesn’t seem to be very present in the conversation. As the two of you reach your front step, he presses a chaste kiss to your lips and bids you goodbye. You’re left a bit speechless, usually he’d have come inside for a while, doing your homework together was a regular thing for you two. Maybe he was just tired? For your own sake, you accepted that as the explanation for the way he’d been acting this afternoon and let yourself have some peace of mind.
Things seemed to have gone back to normal for a bit when he’s back to pick you up in the morning; as his fingers lace themselves into yours, you relax happy to lean closer into him. Aone has gone back to casually talking about his schoolwork and his team, the comfortable banter makes you feel at ease after last night; especially since it had been so uncharacteristic of him.
The morning goes by like any other, your mutual banter fills the train carriage with low voices; until your phone chimes from the pocket in your bag. You feel Aone freeze up next to you, you unlock your phone only to see a message from Ryo. He’s asked you a quick question regarding project, Aone must’ve spotted the text thread as he’s gone back to blankly looking forward.
As he walks you to your classroom, you both say goodbye as he wishes you luck for your upcoming project. You don’t think much of it, thinking everything was alright between the two of you; but when you don’t see him for lunch, you start getting a bit nervous. More minutes pass and there’s still no sight of Aone, you’re looking around, unable to focus on your lunch as Ryo approaches you; taking the spot in front of you. You reply to his questions, but your mind isn’t ever on the topic, you’re constantly worrying about Aone and if you had done anything wrong. Near the end of your break you notice a familiar white haired boy walking across the courtyard, he’s too far to call out his name so you try waving your hand around like a maniac, only for him to keep moving.
Enough is enough, you gather up your things, frantically crossing the courtyard; you were sure you’d look insane to bystanders as you’re frantically calling out his name while sprinting like a maniac. He seems to have stopped against his own will, his facial expression tells you that at least.
“Aone?” you come to a halt, your palms resting on your knees as you take a few deep breaths, letting your heart rate drop back to normal.
He gives you a gruff hum as he crosses his arms across his chest, he doesn’t look particularly angry, just annoyed?
“Why are you avoiding me?” you take a step closer, reaching out and placing your hand on his crossed over arms; he stays quiet, eyes trained on you while you’re looking at him with pleading eyes. When you realize his eyes aren’t particularly trained on you, but rather on something behind you. You feel like mentally beating yourself up, he’s looking straight at Ryo, who’s in turn staring right at you.
“Wait!”, you chime in, “are you jealous?” a devilish smile creeps it’s way onto your face. A blush rises to your boyfriends cheeks, creeping its way up via his neck. His silence tells you enough;
“You are!” it coaxes a giggle from you as he lets his arms wrap around your shoulders. Your face softens a bit, “he’s just a partner for a project, I promise you that”.
“I trust you,” he pauses, pulling you in a bit closer, “ just not him, especially not him”. You tilt your head to the side, “how come? it’s not like you know him right?”
“No, but sometimes you just have that gut feeling,” you nod at him,
“well then i’ll be careful, okay baby?” your words seem to bring some peace of mind to him, visually seeing his shoulders not tensed up anymore. His arms wrap around your waist, gently lifting you up and pressing a kiss to your lips.
“good, because you’re mine”.
@hihiq @hqgrandescape @mitzwinchester @izzyphantomgamer @clauclaustar @idiot-juice-enthousiast @kara-grayson04 @yams046 @vventure
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seostudios · 4 years
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happy without me: all about luv - h.rj
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ALL ABOUT LUV ‣ HAPPY WITHOUT ME
just face it, she’s happy without you. but i don’t believe it, is she really?
paring: huang renjun x fem!reader
genre: angst, fluff
word count: 2.5k
info: exes to lovers!au, non-idol!au, college!au, cousin!jaemin
warnings: sensitive themes, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, toxic relationship, mention of rape and sexual assault, sexual assault, explicit/vulgar language 
tag list: @jenotation @luvlyjaemin @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 @tzuqui @sunnyrenjunnie @nino7011 @thatanonymousgirl-as14 @minhehe @chrspychan @jimelonji @mykokorobeats4u @aminihhj @jeonjungkat @wishfulldreamss @ilymarkchan @ja3hy4n @beautifulbakerycookiegiant @jisungiepwark52 @sharamanne @commentgirl @littlefluu @chicksung​ @lixseu​ @jenosgirlllll​
a/n: i’m sorry this is so short i did renjun dirty :( i got writers block writing it but it’s ok! ill do better on the next one which is chenle or jeno (prolly jeno) i gotta chekc but yay finally part 2 to all about luv
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APRIL IN JEJU
It's been 7 months since you've parted ways with your first love. You two were the supposed high school sweethearts of your year so it confused most of the other students when they found out. Renjun and you were meant for one another but the fact he decided on attending SKKU since had received a scholarship for his outstanding academic records, he couldn't turn down the offer and was determined on enrolling however you were attending Cheju Halla University which was all the way in Jeju City. That was a 55-minute plane ride away from Renjun! Avoiding the future relationship problems to come from long-distance you two would most likely face, the breakup was mutual and you two parted ways at the airport indulging in a rather pitiful hug.
Here you were, walking through the Department of Equine Science, trailing behind your friends Soomin and Mina. It was the first time you decided to skip class and it was thrilling in your opinion, "Come on, they're waiting!" Soomin whisper-yelled. They?
You make sure to ask her who 'they' were since you and Mina weren't standing dumbfounded and possibly in trouble. "The volleyball team dummy," Soomin says skipping to past the classrooms into Gym A. It brought you back to the old times, visiting Renjun during Soccer practice, making sure he's well-fed and not overworked. Quickly snapping out of it you join the girls on the bleachers to cheer on the boys. Although you are able to tell people you've moved on from your first love, you've spent restless nights looking back at your messages, pictures just reminiscing the past.
The butterflies he's caused you still flutter every now and then hoping their commotion was heard and you've finally made the big move back to Seoul but sadly you haven't gotten up and gone yet.
Tonight you were preparing for a mini-quiz, it so happened that Mina shared the class with you. Scheduling a sleepover at Soomin's place here you all are sitting in her living room stuffing your faces with whatever salty and sweet treats her mom had bought. "Oh. My. God." Mina tells you after reading your DM request on Instagram, "What?" you ask confused over what she thought was so extraordinary. She motions Soomin to look at your earning a surprised what the fuck from the girl. "Min-fucking-Ho wants to DM you... He's like one of the hottest guys in our division and has never been seen with a girl so wanting to text you definitely a what the fuck moment. You shake your head before opening the DM request..."He's asking me out for dinner?" You say which Soomin demands you to accept the offer before he moves on. "You've gotta move on from Renjun you know? He won't come by swooping you by the legs asking you for his hand in marriage. He's all the way in Seoul Y/n, I'm pretty sure he's moved on by now with someone else it's time you do too. Now hand e your phone so I can tell him you want to go on that date." Mina tells you after you attempt to reject Minho. She gave you the truth even if it hurt (a lot), you sigh in defeat handing over your phone.
"Can't believe you're going on a date with Minho," Soomin says watching Mina type away. "I know right, lucky girl" Mina replies as you nod. 
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APRIL IN SEOUL
Meanwhile, at SKKU Renjun's majoring in Arts & humanities. Languages, Literature & Linguistics which has been taking up most of his time keeping his mind off his recent split. He was devastated the first week but had to obviously push it aside if he wanted extraordinary marks just like in high school, even if he wanted his thoughts to be occupied with your figure in his head he simply couldn't know his classes were paying attention to him along with the other honor students that attended on a scholarship.
"Is that your girlfriend?" Jeno, Renjun's only friend at Sungkyunkwan asked. He's got to know Renjun for who he was today but he's never really opened up about his life before University. Jeno noticed Renjun staring at your recent Instagram post for a little too long to not think you were at least flirting in direct messages. "No," He said quick and panicky before shoving his phone back into his pocket, after relaxing he turns to Jeno. "She's my ex, we broke up 7 months ago." Jeno's mouth goes agape momentarily in realization, "Why? If you don't mind me asking..." He asked the smaller boy beside him. "She went to Jeju for University when SKKU was just a 20-minute train ride from our neighborhood," Renjun replied with a scoff recollecting the memory of the day you told him you got accepted into Cheju Halla. Jeno nods understandingly deciding to continue studying instead of riling him up.
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JULY IN JEJU
A full three months have passed and you were still in the first place you were in back in April, heartbroken. Although a lot of things have drastically changed since April it had only made you feel worse about yourself. For starters, you've been 'dating' Minho since April even if you realized on the first date he had only wanted you to fulfil his sexual desires. He's strung his act long enough and you've tried breaking up with the boy for a month now but he won't let you, he's always threatening you "I'll tell the school what type of whore you are."  or something about inflicting pain on someone close to you like Soomin or Mina, which is why you've kept quiet for about the last three weeks.
You were in pulled harshly by the arm by Minho as he pulled you into the supply closet of the Gymnasium, “Minho, I don’t want you to touch me there,” You politely ask the boy who’s currently taking advantage of his supposed spouse. “I don’t even want to date you! Why do you keep acting like this- Let go!” You whisper-yell to Minho who’s trailing his hands up and in between your thighs. "Shut up," He simply tells you before snaking his hand to your mouth shutting you up as you let out a choked cry.
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JULY IN SEOUL
"She looks so happy with that Minho, right?” Renjun asked Jeno, scrolling through your tagged post. “I mean from what we know yeah,” He tells him. Renjun sighs, he knew he would genuinely be happy for you if you moved on but it had seemed rather quick. "It's almost been a year, she's moved on. Why don't you?" Jeno asked innocently. Renjun had a gut feeling of some sort; telling him not to move on and instead of ignoring it like you (which brought you nowhere since you're still deeply in love with him) did he's just kept a close eye on you. Shaking his head no he tells Jeno, "Something isn't right about.." He lifts the  phone to the photo of you and Minho, Mina had tagged you in, "That."
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DECEMBER IN JEJU
"I promise I'll text you, I just need to get off this freaking island for winter break at least." You tell Mina and Soomin on Face-time, "Okay we will miss you! How did Minho take this? It's your first Christmas together and you leave?" She asked worriedly. You mumble a fuck before looking at the camera. "I didn't tell him," You say earning gasps from the two. "He's your boyfriend though.." Soomin said; "Who doesn't treat me like a fucking human being." Your words were strong, rippling a wave of awkwardness, "I'm fine by the way I’m staying with my cousin Jaemin, but if I don't come back it’s cause he spoilt me into staying."
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DECEMBER IN SEOUL
"Merry Almost Christmas!" Renjun screeches before entering his shared apart with his new friend group, Jeno had introduced Renjun to his best pal, Jaemin and Renjun had taken in a very lonely Haechan later introducing him to the two. Today they were all celebrating their first Christmas together with a classic holiday film and cupcakes every day until Christmas.
"Guys we have a guest today!" Jaemin sings opening the door widely to show a shorter girl beside the boy with a suitcase in hand.
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"What are you doing here?" Renjun and you said simultaneously as you locked eye contact. "I'm visiting Jaemin, my cousin." You tell him hands moving into the air to point towards the boy, "I am Jaemin's roommate." He responded before getting up from the couch brushing off the crumbs off his lap before walking towards the door to stand in front of you. He hadn't grown any taller still rocking his tiny 5'7 figure, but tall enough to tower over you, who hadn't grown since freshman year.
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"She's here." Jeno tells Renjun who's head is under the pillow, "She's here." Jeno repeats, "She's here, She's here," Renjun whispered to himself taking it all in. He always wished for you to get off the fucking island go back into his arms, transferring to SKKU, knowing you had the skill to land a spot without hesitation, but finally seeing you after 10 months of no contact was frightening to him. Why did you seem so brittle? You looked pained, it wasn't his job to care about you anymore, but he couldn't help himself. He loved you more than himself and there's a (humongous) chunk of him that still did. Renjun gets up and sits crisscrossed on the single bed across from Jeno's bed where he was idling on his phone laying down "She's here but she's not here." He said which caught Jeno's attention, his face wrinkling in confusion. "She's not okay, something's wrong. I know it," He finishes getting up to walk out to you- who's catching up with Jaemin in the kitchen while preparing for dinner, stopping immediately as a rush of nerves came over him telling him to stop.
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"Hope you boys like Hotteok!" You said facing Jeno and Haechan who were smiling in awe of your cooking skills, "I know Injun and Jaems like it so I made it tonight." You cheerfully smile towards the other two boys. “Glad to see you remembered,” It took a lot for Renjun to even say a sentence to you without having a gaze on you for a little too long afterwards.
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It was his chance, he walked out of the bedroom the moment he saw you walk by his door towards the guest room. "Can I come in?" He asked. "Of course Injun," You couldn't believe yourself, being so calm and comfortable with all the tension. Had it really been ten months? He thought to himself as he sat beside you on the bed. "So," He rubbed his thighs nervously "How've you been?" Horrible. You stare down at the carpet admiring it while you figure a way to lie to the boy who knew you better than you knew yourself. "Fine,  I've been..." You sigh avoiding eye contact, "Fine." He looks at you concerned, "You can't lie to me Y/n." Grabbing your hand caressing it for a second knowing it relaxed you a bit in tough scenarios. Suddenly your phone began to ring, grabbing to read the caller id. "Oh, should I go?" Renjun asked after reading the contact name 'Minho' "No!" You shouted quickly grabbed his wrist pulling him back down before he walked out. Declining the call you spoke, "I'd talk to you over anyone any day." Damn, when did I get so smooth You mentally note that smirking to yourself slightly watching as Renjun bursted into a frenzy of laughter, "Smooth," He comments.
"So, was that Minho guy...your boyfriend?" He asked in which you replied with a strong No. "Well," You started "A boyfriend is someone who listens to me someone who values my opinions and beliefs. Someone who is truly interested in what you enjoy doing, or what you like most in life and interested in who I am as a person." You pause to see him grab you hand intertwining your hand, quickly signalling you to continue. "Someone who makes me laugh, or trusts me. But more importantly, disrespect me and force me into," Tears collected in your eyes threatening to fall, "Things." Renjun knows what to do to comfort you quickly pulling you into his embrace, melting when you wrap around him, head in the crook of his neck sobbing quietly. "He made me do things Renjun-ah. Horrible things. I hate him so much, I can't break up with him. Figured running away would've been a better option." He strokes your hair telling you it's okay and to relax. He couldn't help but smile though; he was right. He knew, he knew something was off and made it his number one priority to find out what it was, who would've known you would open up and make your first actual conversation with your ex- whom you dated for a nearly all of senior year about the toxic relationship you found yourself in after him.
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JANUARY IN SEOUL
"I got to leave tomorrow." You told Renjun, whom you rekindled an old flame with over your stay. C
"Do you think about me sometimes? 'Cause I think about you sometimes" You asked Renjun looking at him from the mirror, as he watched you do your hair for an outing with your cousin. After that night in your bedroom, you decided on hanging out more and became close friends once more. But the butterflies in your stomach didn't leave, instead, they emitted flying more enthusiastically near him, with him. "I don't think about you sometimes 'Cause I think about you all the time," He said, which made you look down to the floor before turning around to face him. "It made me so jealous knowing you were so far away with that disgusting bastard happy without me" He grabs your hand; which you intertwine your fingers with happily a smile dancing upon your lips watching him reciprocate it.
"Stay." He tells you. You cuddle into his embrace as he caressed the top of your head. The two of your legs entangled under the sheets having one of your midnight talks. "You know I can't," You start quickly zipping your mouth not wanting to go any further, "Students who have outstanding academic records, or who have financial difficulties, who have submitted a complete scholarship application," Renjun said, which just made your jaw drop. Did he do his research?  "You can still enroll for the second semester which starts in two weeks. Have your friends send your belongings." He finished watching as you lifted yourself up resting your head in your palm. "Really?" You asked, breath taken away to say more. Could you really live here in Seoul? With Renjun? "Yes, I can kick Jeno into the guest room while we can have this room all to ourselves." He kissed the top of your hand watching the cheeky smile erupt from you with giggles. "We can be together." You said- asked to yourself, "We can be together" Renjun tells you before pulling you back. 
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mendesficsxbombay · 4 years
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just let me adore you | s.m
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my third fic this month! this is absolutely NOT like me!! 
Requested ‘fluff’ from this prompt list:
34: you look so comfy and cuddleable
40: I’m not going to get sick you baby. Just let me hold you, can we just stay in bed
The call cuts off and she lets out her longest sigh of the day. It’s her fourth time calling him in a row, when otherwise, it’s him doing the calling. 
She let off the calls and texts the last few days, their relationship was still so fresh how dare she appear clingy to this beautiful boy she’s liked for as long as she can remember? As soon as they put a tag on it, the years of knowing each other, and the knowledge of each of their tricks and tactics went out the window. Three months in and they still act like teenagers with their first crush. Not that there is anything wrong with teenagers and crushes, but they’ve both already lived through that phase of life, why are they back here again? 
She racks her brain for alternatives, then furiously rubs at her temples as if that would make her thoughts come through easier. She could call up their friends, see if they’ve heard something from him in the last week. She hadn’t seen him for 7 days, his last message was 4 days ago. She could march over to his house but again … they’ve only been together together for three months. She’s not sure if she’s allowed to go knocking on his door without notice. Then again what if he’s in danger and she is the only one who thought about saving him? What if she is his only hope? He is the current Prince of Pop, the people wanting to cause harm to him must be endless. 
She scoffs at her usual downward spiral. Everyone in the world is not out to get him. He’s worked with her through her panic multiple times, so if he knew how much she worried about him why not just give her a heads up that he’s alive and safe? 
His apartment is really just twenty minutes away from hers after all, she could go over - she should go over. She purses her lips while looking at her black phone screen, as if staring at it hard enough will just, you know, make him call. But that’s not how the world works. And so she marches to her room to collect her bags, picks up her keys on the way, and sets off to his house. 
She used to do this all time, earlier - showing up unannounced. They’d spent a better part of three years being strictly friends. Nothing more. Except the times she would catch him staring at her a bit longer than what seemed normal, or when she would put in extra efforts to dress up when she knew she would be seeing him. They had been introduced through friends, an effort to club their friend groups into one large social circle, and they didn’t have a lot in common, but that’s what worked for them. They lived each other’s lives through the other’s eyes, and sometimes, that’s all you need in a friend. 
Unfortunately, most times they saw each other outside of their respective flats, there was alcohol involved. And bottled feelings and bottles of alcohol never really mix well. They used to play this game, they used to order drinks for each other, with the promise that the other would have to finish the drink, and the swear was on their friendship. A year and a half or so of knowing each other later, they found themselves exchanging kisses in dark corners of clubs and pubs, a glass of whatever they bought each other in hand. 
Soon enough, they didn’t need the liquid courage. Although it was the sort of thing that everyone knew of and no one said aloud, they kept their distance in front of their friends and the sneaking around never really ceased. And what their friends don’t know, didn’t hurt them. As if their friends didn’t know why or how they always arrived and left together. As if they didn’t notice that after a while she had chosen to stop bringing her car to these parties altogether because she knew she would ride back with him anyway. 
At some point, a boy she knew from university, a far off member of said social circle asked her out. And quite boldly so. In front of all their friends and at their favourite bar. She brushed it off, said she wasn’t interested. But he persisted. And that’s where Shawn stepped in. Gently, yet firmly, pushed the guy back from closing in on her so publicly. He said she wasn’t interested and he should have listened the first time. He asked him to learn. To do better. Then took her hand and left the place. 
The car was silent for the first time in all the rides they’d taken together. She didn’t like it. But she also didn’t have the guts to ask what all of that was about until she realised that he wasn’t driving to her place, he was straight on his way to his. 
She softy asked about why they were going to his, and his eyes widened as if he hadn’t realised that himself. He spluttered for a second, and then ‘fessed up. He felt she was the safest if she stayed over at his that night - if she was okay with it. He knew he sounded like a hypocrite, making her decisions for her and all, but just this one time, he couldn’t reign it in. 
She didn’t say anything back then, just linked her fingers through his on the centre console and leaned back against the headrest. He took it as a sign and brought her home. That night, they slept the best either of them ever had. 
The next morning, she asked him to be hers, and that was that. 
Three months in, though, she’s pulling up to his apartment and she’s more nervous than she was the first time she met him. It’s the fear of the unknown, really. What if he had another girlfriend on the side this whole time and he didn’t tell her so he wouldn’t hurt her feelings. She’s been cheated on before, she knows how gullible she is. It was really not hard for her past boyfriends to sneak around. But Shawn’s not like that. Or is he?
Riding up the elevator she send up a quiet prayer to anyone who was willing to listen. Please let me still be with him at the end of the night, I can’t lose him. 
She walks out of the lift as if she’s headed for war. Her head is spinning already but really, what was she expecting if she so suddenly decided to confront the panic she had been wallowing in for days now?
She took in a deep breath, and knocked on his door, patiently waiting for whatever was on the other side. She could take it (could she?). She would put on a brave face and confront - his mom?
“Babe! It’s so nice to see you here!” The older woman exclaimed, gently pulling her into a hug and rubbing her back, like she did with her son. “Shawn didn’t tell me you were coming over, I would’ve made some food for you as well!”
“Oh I - didn’t actually tell him I was coming over, Miss Rayment, he-“ it is okay, you can talk to her, she knows you are together and she loves you through it all, just keep talking, “He hasn’t really answered my calls or texts these last few days, I didn’t know what was wrong so I came over.” She winced finally, somewhat ashamed for showing up. 
“Is that so?” Karen frowned a little, letting go of her and finding her way into the kitchen. “Babe, he’s been sick for a week, it was the stomach bug, but then his body was heating up, too, and I called him on the second day of it - he didn’t sound too good and you know what mums are like, I packed a bag and drove right over. We had him speak to a doctor over the phone, thank god he doesn’t have any events lined up anytime soon, because the meds keep him knocked out for most of the day. I did expect him to call you, though.”
“Yeah, me too,” she whispers, her face growing hot with embarrassment, and she didn’t know why. “May I go up and see him? Is he awake?”
His mom smiles and nods, saying she’ll be down here if they need her. 
She silently pads her way up the stairs of his penthouse, cursing herself for thinking the worst of him while he just lay here drugged up and sick. She felt sorry for him and for herself, too. Why couldn’t she have figured this out sooner?
Before she knows it she’s standing outside his room, and there’s no turning back. She softly knocks twice, and waits for a response she isn’t sure she would receive. She turns the doorknob gently, aware of the slight creak it usually lets out. 
The room was darker then usual, the curtains to his floor to ceiling windows were drawn shut, and there was one nightlight glowing softly in the corner of the room. It took her a second to make out his figure under the lumps of the duvet pulled over him. She felt sadder than she did a second ago, thinking of how uncomfortable he must’ve been these last few days and how she wished she could just take it all away. 
There was a tiny empty spot on the bed next to his torso, she found a place for herself there. The covers were pulled up to his chin, his hair looked messier than it did usually and he looked so much younger, as if he was at peace even when his body wasn’t. 
She snaked her pinky through his, through the hand that was peaking out from under the layers of warmth. His lips parted slightly, hand curling around hers even when he continued to sleep. This was their secret move every time they were in public. Like a silent hi, I’m here when they couldn’t say it aloud. 
She peppered a few kisses to his forehead, light enough to not awake him, but dusty enough so he knew they were there. She saw his face scrunch just for a second, smiling to herself because of how much of a baby her big, strong boyfriend really was. It was adorable. 
She wanted to test how far she could go before he woke up. She smirked a little at the thought, remembering the last time she had stayed over at his, just last week, on this same bed. There wasn’t a lot of sleeping that happened that night. 
She leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, and she got the exact reaction she got every time. His lips puckered against hers for a second before falling into a deeper sleep, lips parting again. Her heart warmed and she almost awww ed for real, but he was still sick, and still needed rest, so with one last long look at her love, she left the room again. 
Downstairs she found his mom on the phone on the pretty white couch everyone loved so much, patiently waiting for her to hang up. 
“What’s up, he still sleeping?”
“Yes… I was thinking I could make something for dinner since you’ve cooked this whole time?”
“Oh, you really don’t have to I could just -“
“No, please, I want to. Is soup and garlic rice okay with you?”
It was the first real meal she had learned when she was 16, and it was her signature. Everyone loved it. You couldn’t possibly go wrong with it. When his mum smiled and nodded as a reply, she knew they loved it too after she brought it home to them when they visited for Christmas. 
She went into the kitchen, happy to see most of the ingredients she would need. This would be a different case if his mum hadn’t come over, she would’ve only found fruits and frozen meat and some form of soda or beer in his fridge. 
She could cook this one with her eyes closed, so she was done relatively quicker. Just an hour later she was eating dinner with his mum, catching up on lost time. 
After the dishes were dried and put up, his mum asked if she was going to spend the night. She wanted to, but she also didn’t wish to overstep. She said she would wait till Shawn was up and had dinner and then leave. Karen understood and gave her a warm hug, a kiss to her head and found her way to the guest room. 
In the meantime she found the few books she had left at his house for him to read - as he had specifically asked, and she knew he hadn’t even touched the covers - and cuddled into the throw he usually had by the couch. 
When he come down the stairs an hour and 7 chapters later, he looked like the most beautiful train wreck. His cheeks were flushed red from the sleep and his body heat that she hoped had stabilised, and wasn’t increasing anymore. He wore a black muscle tee and gym shorts, yawning and making his way into the kitchen slowly, and it hurt to see her otherwise tough guy be this fragile. 
She waited for him to notice her. It was another challenge they had between them, he prided himself in how attuned he was to her, he could walk into a room and sense if she was there, too. Usually she would hide and try to throw him off but he found her, always. Which is why when he froze in front of the stove and let out a choked breath (it was probably a gasp but, you know, he is sick right now) and turned around, she couldn’t help but grin like a lovesick fool. 
“What.. are you?” He stuttered, his voice down several decibels, a throaty rasp which, in any other condition would’ve sent chills down her spine. 
“Heard someone was sick,” she sighed, putting her book down and joining him in the kitchen. “You hungry? I made dinner. The garlic will do good for your throat and tummy.”
“And mom?” She turned around to reheat the soup and toss around the rice a bit more. 
“We ate and she went to bed.”
“Are you mad at me?”
She finally looked at him, looking like a wounded puppy sitting by the breakfast bar. It was hard to stay mad at him, but she would hold her ground this time. 
“Why didn’t you tell me, Shawn?” He only ducked his head down, looking anywhere but her. So great, now he’s sick AND guilty. 
Shawn liked being taken care of - but he hated people having to worry about him. He hated being the subject of someone’s concern - especially those closest to him. He liked knowing that there were people who had his back but he hated having to use that support for anything. It made him feel guilty and incapable - a habit she was trying to rid him of since their first year of knowing each other. 
“Didn’t want you to worry.”
“So you worried your mum who lives an hour away?”
“No she was… going to come over anyway.”
“No she wasn’t. Just last week you said she probably wouldn’t come over for a bit because she had things to finish back at home. She told me during dinner, too. So what’s the real reason?”
She plated three scoops of rice and a bowl of soup and passed it over the counter to him, then sat down right where she was. He felt like that was a kick to his lungs. He would say guts but his lungs were weaker at the moment. She never, ever passed up an opportunity to sit next to him, to be pressed up to him, and looking at her settle herself so far away from him (four feet away is quite far when you’re in love) let him know he really messed up this time. 
“Didn’t want you to think I’m weak,” he mumbled around a spoonful of rice to make sure he didn’t hear him correctly. She did, though. 
“You falling sick would make me think you’re weak? Are you out of your mind or are the meds that heavy in dosage?”
“Look it’s just - you’re so strong? You’re immune system is made of fucking metal. And then there’s me. I get a cold every few months even though it can seriously harm my singing. And then I get a fever or stomach bug or just - something - every few months and like - You deserve someone stronger. I didn’t want you to be bothered by this.”
“Okay so the meds are definitely still working their magic,” she muttered as he rolled his eyes. “You have got to be joking, Shawn, look at you! How on earth could I possibly find someone stronger than you? You picked the worst time to be insecure honestly.”
She glared at him but stayed silent to let him have a bit of the soup, pushing back the urge to smile as his face almost unclenched at the taste and his shoulders sank in relief. She was a good cook and she knew it. 
“You do realise that I would’ve been more than happy to come over and help you out? I came up to your room and you looked so comfy and cuddleable I would’ve jumped right in to sleep too had you not looked so sick. What even happened anyway?”
“The doctor said it was because of a weather change, it’s a common cold but the stomach bug might be the real problem. You know how you came over on Saturday and then I dropped you home and went out with the boys? I think the meat I had wasn’t so good. So he advised vocal rest and then said I should eat home as much as possible for the coming few days or weeks. That’s all.”
“And you called you mum? Why, doesn’t she also think you’re weak? Now that she still has to look after you?” She hit back in frustration, “Look, if you didn’t want me to come over, you could’ve just said so, but dropping off the face of the earth was not it and I was really fucking worried, so thank you.”
“But, baaaabe I said I’m sorry,” he whined, his face scrunching up again as if he was in physical pain. 
“I’m only mad because - Shawn, wouldn’t you have done the same for me? Why are the rules different for you?”
He pursed his lips as it fully sank in, she wasn’t mad, she was upset. And all that could’ve been avoided very easily but he did nothing to solve it. 
“I understand, and the next time something happens, you’ll be the first to know so you can come over and make me all this yummy soup and then you can yell at me a bit more for being so careless. But until then, please don’t be mad at me again?”
She glared at him for a bit longer until her resolve finally broke. There wasn’t really a way for her to stay mad at him still looking like so soft. She cleaned up after he was done eating some more, handing him his medicines like Karen had asked her to. 
She linked her pinky through his as they climbed up the stairs, suppressing a smile again as she saw him turn his head towards her with a look of wonder evident. He asked her if she was going to spend the night, she said she would only stay until he fell asleep because she still had work tomorrow, but she would drop in before and after. 
She got him into bed first, nicely tucking his head in in the many pillows he had, curls fluffing out at the top as he looked at her dreamily. She pulled the covers up to tuck herself in next to him as she usually did, only to have him slap his hand down on the covers, snatching them out of her hands. 
“What are you doing?!” His eyes grew wide as if what she did actually offended him. 
“uh, getting in with you?”
“I’m sick and you shouldn’t be getting in anywhere with me. I’ll get you a chair or something to sit in-” and he was already struggling to get up and out of bed when she calmly put her hands on his shoulders to push him down again. 
“Stop moving around so much, you don’t have the energy. I’m not going to get sick you baby and you’re not contagious. I already have sinusitis, you couldn’t possibly give me more of a cold than I’ve lived with my whole life. And your stomach bug won’t magically transfer to me. Just let me hold you, okay?”
He gulped nervously as she slipped in next to him, worry flashed across his features. But it melted away slowly as she tucked herself around him, her head coming to rest under his chin, over his heart as it always did. He hadn’t held his girl in a week. It felt good. 
“Can we just stay in bed, forever?” He mumbled sleepily. 
She snickered lightly, “I’m sure we can arrange that. Until then do you wanna watch something? Harry Potter, maybe?” She found his television remote by the bed, and pulled up his queue of movies on the screen. 
His eyes narrowed at her - “You don’t even like Harry Potter?”
She finally smiled at him, patting his cheek and settling down again. 
“It’s okay, I like you.”
taglist: @shawnwyr​ @mendesstories​ @lanallaa​ @sleepybesson​ @rulerofnocountry​ @luvluvxx​ @wholesomemendes​ @c25905​ @angl-phile
dm to be added or removed ♥️
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sickassastrology · 3 years
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What made you different? 🥸
This is a general reading for the collective. This read is about your person you have in mind. Remember that because it is general it will not resonate with everyone. So take what sticks. Your free to choose whatever pile you feel. Heck, there could be little messages in all the piles. Time is fluid and we all have free will. So things can play out at anytime or maybe not at all. Follow your heart always. -E 💙🌻
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Pile 1 🍒🍒🍒
Greetings pile 1, the classy crew with the rider Waite deck. let's get into it. I'm getting whoever this was misused you when they had you. I heard the line from Jackson 5 I want you back. when I had you to myself i didn't want you around, those pretty faces always made you stand out in the crowd". With this group I'm feeling like what made you different to this person was that you had it going on. you had a lot going for yourself. and you didn't share that with just anyone. your riches. your glory. whether it was your body, money, time, energy. whatever the case was...you were selective in who you gave to. you are an attractive energy and human pile 1. and you know it too. 😜 confident. I'm getting the energy of I have a lot going for me, and I'm not going to just be out in these streets. my money is good, I look good, I feel good. It took a lot for you to get there and so you won't share that with anyone & everyone. and then....you gave it to this person and decided to act a fool, right? lol isn't it always like that. this person saw you as being able to take care of yourself, even when it was a lot. im getting heavily that some of yall have family members or siblings (big on the siblings) that you take care of. you are the parental figure to them. you had a lot of responsibilities, and yet you were still like a breathe of fresh air. you still knew how to smile. mature. you always smiled in the mist of sadness. and you meant it too, like it wasn't just a mask. it was like "I still have something to smile about in life. my flowers still grow. there's happiness all around me." you still knew how to give to this person. managing the connection even with your own stuff going on. and they admired that about you. when things got tough you remained calm. never too out of control. you handled each situation how it came and for what it was. although you told this person about your life, you NEVER made it burdensome to them. like that's my life, but we are separate from that. and this person was acting stupid. I see a few of yall into the occult too. and that definitely makes you different, doesnt it lol. but you don't mind it and didn't hide it because it's who you are. when you saw there was sneaky behavior going on, you left. you used your intuition to guide you. and now, this person does have a lot to give and will give it but if I screw them over they will bounce out. you are not the one to do an unfair relationship. I'm seeing this person got caught cheating on their phone. like you saw some hidden text messages. I also heard "nude" like nude photos you found. this person was doing too much. and you were like no it's not fair. and it was like they didn't care. they were only sorry they got caught. they see you are strong, know who you are, know your worth, and you won't bow down to anyone. and that's on purrrr! it hurts you, but you know your special and you are a gift to somebody out there. so if you have to leave, then bye. you'll see why I'm special later on. and this hurts but you know how to keep pushing forward. and your person is just like, omg how are they doing this, how are they still okay!? pile 1, your energy is so beautiful 😍. its very tranquil. and im not saying that you never get upset or anything like that but there is a peace about you. like it didn't work out. okay, cool. I'll just keep working on my life, taking care of me and mine. and best of luck to them, ya know? I see you did love them, like them a lot. but that's the way the cookie crumbles. and tbh, pile 1 I feel you'll be better off without this person anyway. like you'll be happier being a lone, find somebody else, or just keep taking care of business. so many blessings to you all, you deserve wonderful things. ❤
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PILE 2 🥠🥠🥠
Hi pile 2, so while I was shuffling I heard likeable. so your very easygoing and charming im getting. this pile is nurturing, motherly. I get the energy of "ill lick your wounds for you so you don't have to". Ouuuu a healer. I see. (make sure that people don't try to get over on you, because they will try it)! You are a kind person. I'm getting friendly to everyone around. This pile is let's make love, not war. You don't like to agrue much. This person could have been a fireball and you just put their fire ALLLL the way out lol. I feel like some of yall worked with this person or around them. and there would be competition around you, and they would try so hard to get your persons attention. like look at me!! trying real hard. and then there you were like " I'm just here, doing me". you weren't trying to stand out. and they looked right at your ass too. 😂😂 Pile 2, you are almost too loving for your own good, aren't cha. 🥰 you love life. you showed this person a different way of living, like just go with the flow. but you weren't reckless. if you did go out or drink. I'm feeling like a festival or winery type. you showed this person that life is fun. you are a true free spirit. you don't let a lot of life's qualms bother you. this group is very natural. humanitarian. I heard the word garden. this pile is the type that give to the less fortunate. I'm seeing a person on the street and like you'll give them money, food, or whatever it is with no second thought. very "here you are. be blessed". and this person was in awe of that type of generosity. because this world doesn't have people like that. you weren't doing it for attention. you are a G-I-V-E-R. Tbh, with this pile I'm really feeling like you have a gift to help people, but I'm not sure that you even know that yet. you think that's just how you are. but i see you really doing things with the community. know your purpose you all, because its so important. you are balanced. Yes you are such a giving person. BUT you will hold back IF needed. you know when to hold em & fold em. that's you. you just don't have to try hard. I'm getting your person wears a mask to fit in. you do nothing, you can get somebody's attention without doing much of anything really. you love life and you give life into others. into earth. the seas. skies. heavens. whatever it is, you give life to it. this pile is an empress. very divine feminine. *(remember tarot have NO gender, it is only energy)* you'd make a good parent if you had children. *as I said that, I heard I don't want kids but I have fur babies*. 😂 okay so you take care of your pets as your little babies. we love them too. 🐾🐾 this group wishes good on other people. as I was pulling your oracle. the card purpose slips right from my hands. and it reads. purpose: I know what I am here to do. didn't I say this group fits in to a bigger picture. find the reason you are on this earth, do not waste another minute because you will feed so much life into other people. earth angels. 🥰 beautiful. pride: I love myself and see myself in everyone. and gratitude: I am thankful for life and the opportunity it presents. come through pile 2! confirmation again. I just said you love the life you live. the pride you have is almost humble. it's like you like yourself. the good. bad. ugly. and there's no better way to be. and that's why they like you! heck, I like you 😂 so awesome. let your light shine.
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PILE 3 🥦🥦🥦
Pile 3, whatsup!? How are yall feeling? So right off. This is more about your mindset pile 3. your intellect. this person valued your decision making. you moved very carefully when it came to other people. they would come to you and ask about somebody. and you could look and examine and tell if that person was okay or had some type of ill intent. umm....intuitive much? you are a very wise person. you listen a lot to your gut, even if you have to sleep on it. your going to go with what you feel. you knew how to get work done but you still made time for the connection too. I'm getting that some of you have an important job or school that takes up time BUT you knew when to be silly and take breaks too. I'm feeling like you and this person had really goody times together. snapchat filters and silly faces 🤪😂. you are a very determined person. when things get hard or you fail. you never stop trying until you succeed. but you pace yourself, never tire yourself out. sheer determination from yall. love it. there's a lot of power in that. this group loves gathering information. reading. tv. listening. however you gained it, you shared it with your person and other people. a teacher. you actually made this person become better when you spoke to them. it challenged them. you also had a quirkiness about you. I'm getting you had hidden talents about yourself that were really random 😂. but your person loved it. you all pulled the empathy card. it reads: I am open to seeing both sides of the situation. again yall, you really know how to read people. use this to your advantage and get in touch with yourself. Tbh, if you tap in...you can sense auras. if you can't already! 💫🔮
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I have to say, every single one of you are special. each of these piles possess such unique abilities and talents. bless you all. not to say your perfect by any means. but beautiful works in progress. so whether or not these connections work out or your person comes back. you matter. you don't need to change what beauty inside yourself. keep growing. keep challenging yourself. don't compromise. your worth it. so climb to the highest mountain top and scream. "I AM WHO I AM. I AM WORTHY. AND BEAUTIFULLLLL". bless. -E 💙🌻
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mollydollyjournals · 3 years
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Maybe I need to just like. Scream. Loudly. For a few hours.
My concentration is still so bad I'm barely getting anywhere with this same set of nails. Still. I'm trying to keep working on it but my mind is just not doing it because I feel constantly on edge. This is day 3. One set of nails! Jesus they're not that good. I take a long time to do most things but my mind is really just not functioning.
I'm feeling really particularly isolated again. I have nothing to say that might be of interest to anyone else. I dont really even know how to respond to the small amount of interaction I do get. A friend has started being more talkative in our group chat and sent me a message asking for some info on nail art techniques - maybe I'm being self centred but I feel like it could at least partially be an effort to get me talking. If so I appreciate it. But I still dont really have anything to say beyond quick surface responses.
My mum asked if I'm going to see her this weekend. I wouldn't on Sundays because she has a zoom call with relatives I dont want to talk to. It occurred to me that saturday is tomorrow. Part of me wants to go to hers and drink red wine and just connect with someone. The one person who's almost always had my back, or at least has never seriously intentionally opposed me. I want to go see my dog and my kitten and tell her that actually I'm doing pretty bad, I'll probably be divorced by xmas and sometimes I hear things that arent particularly confusing or distressing but they're definitely not real.
But that's not how it works in our dynamic. She had a serious psychotic episode when I was a teenager, and I took care of it all. My younger brother has ongoing psychosis. It's in our family. If I say I hear things she'll only panic. My doctor knows so it's not a secret - if theres one thing I learned from both of their cases, it's not to stay in denial. But theres no point telling her. And the divorce stuff? She'll internalise it. One of her children is dead, one is an ongoing psychiatric case with not much of a future because he's also actually a pretty terrible person, and the last one is me. She feels bad enough because her "marriage failed," which is a weird phrase her generation seem to use. She told me before not to date other people in case it hurts my "marriage." She'll think it's that, and start spiralling about her history with my dad and the one guy she's dated since they divorced. She won't believe me and hb were fine having other relationships and the issues arent to do with that, and I dont have the energy to talk through her stuff again.
Maybe it's getting to me more than I think. It's not like I didnt know this shitstorm was coming. But now it advances. Like I heard the forecast before, but now I can see it on the horizon. Now I have to really truly consider moving out of the house and splitting up the cats and whatever else. Thinking about it, maybe i should talk to my mum. Itll almost definitely be her I move in with if it all goes through. But then maybe I should only talk about it if I'm sure.
I dont know. I'm jealous of everyone with good parental relationships. I still havent even texted my dad for his birthday. I guess I should do that. I kind of miss when all 4 of us go back to my dad's house for drinks, us and my half brother. But that's not going to happen for a long time yet, for all kinds of reasons. Maybe it never will again. I'm catastrophising I guess. But it's hard not to with the current track record. I just feel like there isnt any evidence of positive things. Really, truly. The best thing that's happened to me recently is I sent the rented carpet cleaner off and then saw that my cat did a big healthy shit in the middle of the carpet. I have to be happy about that because it means hes not losing his guts to diarrhea and vomiting like he was before. But I still have to deal with a hygienic nightmare and probably a stressed cat picking up on my mental state. And I still have to gauge the whole situation based on a literal pile of shit.
I feel like thinking positive is just kidding myself and giving into my genetic tendency towards psychosis. If I'm going to convince myself of something that isnt real in order to make myself feel better, why not lose myself in a fantasy entirely? I should just build an entire world where everything is okay and lock myself away in it. Why stop at just telling myself that this one bad thing or another won't happen.
I try my best to stay grounded in reality to avoid ending up in that kind of mental state. But reality is fucking tiring. I know my life isnt the worst in the world by far, I dont mean that. But we're all going through some extra shit these past couple of years. I struggle not to take that on too. Not that it even helps. We had a mass shooting here today and I'm thinking about the people who thought they were safe because they live in England where firearms are extremely rare, the parents of the child who died, the people living in that area who will feel so unsafe now, and all the pro-gun lobbyists in the US who will use this as a reasoning that gun control doesn't work thus keeping millions of other people at risk as long as those laws dont change. But god. I would be dead many times over if guns were as easy to buy here as they are over there.
And then I think about all the people that have been lost to situations like that. I'm multiracial and have family in multiple different places - I was always raised with the idea that you dont stop caring about people just because they're not in the same country as you. And it's true, you shouldnt. But I've internalised a lot of it as fear and sorrow and idk what else. Just bad feelings. Feeling like the world is such a terrible place, that I cant deal with my own suffering, and that if I can't deal with that then what about the people who have it worse? What can I do??
What can I do for anyone when I cant even paint a single set of nails?
I'm sure of all kinds of bad things happening. I dont want to be. Some of them I couldnt prove, so maybe it's just my mind. Many look likely. I dont know how to deal. I am all the worst parts of each of my parents and this is the result. I wish therapy was more of a thing last century. They should never have had kids. My older brother got off easy by dying. Incidentally I have to somehow gather money for his gravestone soon as nobody else in my family ever offered to help my parents with it in all this time and it's only just been put up now when I said I'd help my mum with it. I never even fucking met him. My life is like a bad tv show. Not an interesting one, not a well written drama or tragedy, just bad.
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