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#i wish i knew how to tag things
oceanwithouthermoon · 5 months
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saiki being in a romantic relationship (or alternatively, actually trying to be in one) for the first time and having no experience or knowledge on what to do, so he falls back on behaviors hes picked up from the people around him..
but the most romance hes seen close up are his parents, aiura + teruhashi + yumehara with crushes and trying to flirt, etcetc (toritsuka does not count cuz what he does is hardly romantic, and that one time kuboyasu was ready to drop everything and marry a girl immediately doesnt count either cuz saiki expressively thought that was too much)
PLUS his own 'secret' obsession with romance stories and cliches..
so like.. crushy honeymoon romance is the only romance he KNOWS..
he would definitely find it too embarrassing to actually be as consciously lovey dovey as his parents are, and wouldnt want to try and be some 'knight in shining armor' like yumehara imagined him at first, but i think that 1) it would be a lot more subconscious and he would just not know any better than to latch onto his partner and 2) he would just choose (consciously AND subconsciously depending on the situation) to just try and do what he knows but in a subtle way..
like, he wouldnt write a love letter and pair it with a homemade chocolate heart like yumehara did, but he might write little notes (which are probably more like encouraging little phrases and paragraphs like a mom would put in her kids lunch than sweet love notes) and make baked goods for someone..
its probably mostly his mom that he models his behavior after, so he cooks for his person a lot and his most notable love language is probably acts of service
thats obviously not his only love language though, quality time was always his biggest until it came to romance and acts of service just barely weighs it out. words of affirmation is a big one for him too.. physical touch is also important for him, but not in the way that it would be for most people i think. its part of his love language more in a way that if he wants to touch a person at ALL, its an expression of love.. i think he would be big on sitting close together so his thighs and hands are just barely touching theirs, holding onto someones arm or having his arm be held, stuff like that..
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sciderman · 5 months
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i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone
damn son save some for the rest of us!!
#sci speaks#i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful.#oh the people with hyperactive hearts...#i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet.#holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on.#i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out.#is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet.#i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell.#so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them.#not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think.#i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way.#squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy.#i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either.#and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it.#lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want.#is love the answer?#i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it.#i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out.#why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something.#i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy.#like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy.#is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think.#i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life.#i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but.#you can get money back. you can't get your time back.
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mxmorel · 4 months
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trans joy 🥰🏳️‍⚧️
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apotheotic-cravings · 11 months
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All things considered, 42 is a pretty high number (go read nasty red dogs rn)
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disneybrandautism · 4 months
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howdy!!
my names finn or roman!! welcome to my tumblr!! here are some things to get to know me!
my pronouns are he/she/they
i’m 16! (insert the MINORS. MINORS! audio clip here)
i have adhd as well as general anxiety disorder! so if you ever want to chat PLS do but i struggle to reach out because of my anxiety.
i have a LOT of interests so talk to me about whatever, i swear i will respond i LOVE to chat abt them.
i can’t spell very well but i promise i try. i am just a really really bad speller, sometimes it’s unbelievable.
i also say fuck a lot. i swear often.
here are some of my main interests but i’m prone to side quests:
The saw franchise
disney anything. i’ve seen it all. but i specifically love disneyland and disney channel from about 2007-2015.
the hunger games (the books and movies)
Film. Film always. talk to me about movies.
Sander Sides (… it’s borderline a special interest)
stranger things (mostly just steve)
succession (i love flawed characters)
hannibal nbc. i’m crazy about will graham.
community (i love troy and abed)
topgun (but in a gay way.)
marauders (just to mess with the terf)
here are some of my favorite characters (aka characters that are just like me fr):
finnick odair (the hunger games)
rapunzel (tangled)
austin moon (austin and ally)
steve harrington (stranger things)
reggie (julie and the phantoms)
rooster bradshaw (topgun)
tom “iceman” kazansky (topgun)
adam faulkner-stanheight (saw)
roman sanders (sander sides)
virgil sanders (sander sides)
simon “ghost” riley (COD MW2)
kendall roy (succession)
abed nadir (community)
sirius black (hp/marauders)
for sander sides i’m #1 multishipper except for remrom. they are brothers in my noggin.
my dislikes!
I don’t like mean people or people who make fun of me for my interests. unclear instructions. terfs. JKR. loud sounds. passive aggressive people. homework.
my likes!
all the fandoms and characters i previously stated! headcannons. sleep. fashion. plushies. talking to people. playing video games. reading. the color green.
to find me on my other socials!
discord: oatbees or bees#3730
instagram: finnsmojodojocasahouse
tiktok: o4tm1lk0
that’s all!!
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peeledstrawberry · 9 days
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Younger me would be so freaking happy about how I turned out. I have pink hair and I study psychology. I initiate conversations with strangers and I talk the most in class now. I lived past 15 and I found words that could describe what was wrong with me.
It really got better :0
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beautifel · 6 months
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i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am
#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately#like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad#i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic#and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me#the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic#let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything#like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing#i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard#the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know#with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things#n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case#it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has.#the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others#this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate#its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences#its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control#ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship#we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people#so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there#ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere
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airenyah · 1 year
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on analyzing acting: ohm pawat as an example
attention: read my additions to this post first for some more context as it might help you understand a little better what i'm on about here...
ok so this post was born out of me wanting to give an example of what i mean by "actors perceiving something" bc you can see that really well in bad buddy ep 3 [3/4] in the music shop scene where they're hiding and pat smells pran. however, i realized i actually have a lot more to say on this moment and that i can also use it to try and showcase what i mean with "(having) thoughts"/"creating images" as well as what "directions" are supposed to be (i'm struggling the most with explaining directions in english lmao). i ended up having so much to say that it absolutely is worthy of its own post, so here it is
so this here is the moment in question that i'm going to analyze and i'm going to look at ohm specifically:
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[sorry for the image quality of this gif, i had to compromise it in order to get the file size down]
before i say anything, here's a little disclaimer: obviously i have absolutely no idea what was going on in ohm's head in that moment when he was shooting that take. so whenever i make a mention of a specific sentence that the actor or the character could be thinking it will be my very own interpretation of what i personally am seeing or getting out of it. there are many thoughts and emotions one can read out of an actor's performance (often multiple at once!) and there are many ways of putting all of this into words. i will try to keep everything as technical as possible but sometimes i do need to say what i think is going on in the actor's/character's head in order to explain my point
ok so let's go and break down some of the acting things that ohm is doing here
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[gif 1]
this is a wonderful example of an actor actually and actively perceiving something. at this point pat hasn't actively smelled pran yet, he hasn't reacted to that smell yet. in fact, up until this point pat is more focused on not being caught by chai. what ohm is doing here is showing us the process of going from "don't get caught" to "pran smells good af". and it starts right here. in order to do so, in order for this change of topic to work smoothly pat has to become aware of pran's smell first. and ohm is acting it out for us: he really is perceiving and noticing that smell as the actor and we can see the controls in his brain going "oh my nose is sensing something"
another thing i want to point out here is his "spielrichtung" (god i GOTTA figure out a word for this in english) aka this is where i talk about his "directions" even though it's difficult for me in english bc it sounds rather clunky. (for those who didn't read my original reblog where i talk about acting concepts: the literal translation of this german term is "direction of playing" or "direction of acting". this direction can refer to many things, such as where the focus is directed, or an action, a thought, etc...)
here in this moment ohm's directions are both downwards and very inwards. as in: his focus goes downwards to where the smell is entering his nose while his thoughts are very much directed inwards. this is a private moment for pat and ohm shows us this by acting towards the inside (ohm/pat is completely inside his own head in this moment) ("by acting towards the inside" – sorry, this sounds so clunky in english, i mean to say "indem er nach innen spielt")
alright, moving on. so in real life, once a person has perceived something and the brain has processed and determined it... what happens next? the person is going to react to it and have one or the other thought. in real life we go through a process of perceiving - processing - (re)acting and the same thing should happen in acting:
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[gif 2]
first ohm showed us that pat has perceived something, now ohm shows us that whatever pat has perceived causes some thoughts/feelings inside of pat
(quick side-note on his directions: he's still very much inwards in his direction, the private moment in his head is continuing. and despite his eyes going to the side, the focus of his actions is still directed downwards because again, that's where the smell is)
(edit: i had my mom read this post and on the topic of directions in gif 2 she pointed out that you can actually split it up in three directions even: everything is happening on the inside, then you have the sensory direction that is going downwards because that's where the smell is, while he's sending his thoughts sideways)
i can't read minds, nor can i time travel so i have absolutely no idea what thought was crossing ohm's mind in that exact moment, but it has to be something along the lines of "i gotta smell that again". ohm/pat has perceived the smell, he considers it for a moment and whatever he's thinking here leads to the next moment where pat smells pran on purpose (note: i do love how his head is subconsciously moving slightly down towards the source of the smell again even before he's actively taken the decision to sniff pran):
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[gif 3]
(edit: another thing that my mom said is that in gif 2 it's like his thoughts aren't quite focused yet, they're not quite formed, while in gif 3 his thoughts are very much focused. it's like his thoughts went from a subconscious level in gif 2 to a conscious level in gif 3. anatomically speaking you could even say that in gif 1 and 2 he percieves the smell emotionally and in gif 3 it goes over into a cognitive perception of the smell. because he percieves the smell subconsciously in the beginning and the very first thing that happens when you perceive a smell is that it goes to the emotional center of the brain. then the smell goes on to the cerebral cortex and only then you get the cognitive perception of the smell. ohm's performance here really is FLAWLESS. in the words of my mother, a trained nurse: "he plays that EXTREMELY WELL because you can analyze it anatomically even, and use his performance to showcase how the sense of smell works")
and now we have arrived at the point where pat is sniffing pran. what i really like about this is how subtle ohm portrays this. he doesn't stick his nose into nanon's back and we don't even see him breathe in. and yet we still know that pat is smelling pran here, all bc of ohm's body language where he moves his head down to the source of the smell and the thoughts that ohm is having in his head in that moment. you can just see that ohm is really and actively smelling something here. and by that i mean not only just the motion of him moving his head down, but rather that again he is actively perceiving a smell as his head is filled with thoughts (his thought process goes from something like "what was that smell" to "ok i'm smelling, i'm checking this out")
and now we're back to the point where we were earlier. once again our character is perceiving and processing something, our actor is acting it out for us and so what has to happen next? exactly, a reaction to the new information the character's brain has just processed:
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[gif 4]
and again we can see that ohm's head was filled with actual thoughts in that moment (probably something along the lines of "wow he smells really good" or "oh what a nice smell". and it looks kind of unexpected to me, as if there's also some surprise coming with it along the lines of "oh i wasn't expecting to like his smell so much" or "i didn't think he would smell this nice")
i keep going on and on about thoughts, and it's because that was hammered into me by my fave monologue teacher. he kept going on about "getting your thoughts straight" and "having thoughts" ("die gedanken haben") and whenever we students had no idea what to do with our bodies he'd tell us that if we know exactly what we're thinking in that moment we shouldn't worry about our body because our body will follow our thoughts automatically. we can see that beautifully in gif 2 where an underlying thought (and i don't necessarily mean thought as in an actual thought or sentence inside the mind, but thought kind of in the sense of an emotion or feeling, if that makes sense), anyway in gif 2 there's an underlying thought along the lines of "this smell is good i want to get close to it i want to keep smelling it" and ohm's/pat's head is already moving slightly downwards towards the smell before ohm/pat has taken a conscious decision to take a purposeful sniff. the power of thought y'all. thought is a powerful tool when it comes to acting. and it's really obvious when an actor is in no-thoughts-head-empty mode. unfortunately i don't have an example of a thought-less actor on hand, or i would show you. ok, that's a lie, actually. i do have some examples, but they either don't work as a tumblr post (once again i wish i could do this one acting analysis project i did with my uni friend with online people as well) orrrr i don't want to share them publicly bc i don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings and i want to avoid angry anons in my ask box or getting into arguments with random internet users (i quite like my quiet, peaceful tumblr life where i'm a nobody, thanks)
okay, now back to bad buddy and ohm:
in the other post where i talk about acting i mention that while my monologue teacher would talk a lot about thoughts, my mother instead likes to talk about "creating images". my mom likes to think of it as a flipbook where you have individual pictures that make a moving image when going from one picture to the next at speed. personally i think you can also think of it as individual panels of a comic book that together tell a narrative arch. if we look at the first part from this perspective, as if if were a comic, we can see that ohm provides the audience with these clear images:
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image 1: perceiving a smell, becoming aware of it, noticing it
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image 2: reacting to that first whiff, something along the lines of "is this pran's smell? i gotta smell pran. for science. to see if that nice smell is him"
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image 3: smelling on purpose, there is an aim to the action, it is motivated by thought and by what happened previously
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image 4: another reaction to the perceived smell, this time it's a realization and/or a conclusion (the realization could be something like "oh i like the way pran smells" and the conclusion would be "yes what i sensed earlier was in fact pran's smell")
in full:
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[gif 5]
it has only been three (3!!) seconds (yes i went and checked the duration of that clip on premiere pro) and ohm has already told us an entire story arc. god, i LOVE it when actors do actor things
alright, let's continue with part 2:
so now we get to the part where pran (nanon) comes in with an impatient "what now?" and pat (ohm) reacts
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[gif 6]
since ohm is a good actor he once again presents us with that split second where we can see that he was actively listening to nanon's line, we get to see the moment where pat's brain is processing pran's comment and comes up with a reply. once again ohm is acting this all out for us. this is also what helps make it look like everything is spontaneous: as if the character didn't know pran was gonna say something and what he was gonna say, even though the actor, having memorized the script and likely having discussed it with his co-star and/or the director, definitely knew about it
now let's look at his directions again before we move on to the next gif: he's still in inwards-mode, but pran's line distracts him and snaps him away from the downward focus and now it's going to the side instead, towards nanon/pran
remember what happens after the processing? that's right, a (re)action. pat reacts to pran's comment with the action of saying "you smell good"
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[gif 7]
what i find particularly interesting here are ohm's directions. before i sat down to gif these 10 seconds of scene i distinctively remembered ohm's spielrichtung (fuck it, i'm going with the german word bc "directions of playing" or "direction of acting" just doesn't sound right – quick german grammar lesson: spielrichtung = singular, just one single direction; spielrichtungen = plural, two or more directions) being very much towards the inside. and i had assumed that pran's comment would snap him out of it, that nanon's line would trigger a jump in his spielrichtung. but looking at it now? this... is not quite what i'm seeing. what i'm seeing instead is actually fascinating to me
you see, his actions and his line definitely have an outward focus, to the side where nanon is. however, it looks like that outward focus hasn't quite reached his eyes (it's in the way his eyes travel towards nanon, but they're not really focusing on anything in particular, he looks very distracted instead, as if his mind is somewhere else)
to reiterate: his words are traveling outwards while his eyes look like they're still in inwards-mode. outwards and inwards – two opposing sides. this creates conflict and it's exactly what makes me as a viewer sit up in curiosity and go "huh? what's this? what's going on here?" it fills me with a lot of questions about the character: why can't he snap out of it? did pran's smell really affect him this much? so much that his mind is still on it even when pran starts talking to him? why is it affecting him so much? what's going on inside him? aww does he have feelings? (yes. yes he does 🤭) it's these little subtle things that make me start caring about a character, that make me want to keep watching in order to find answers to my questions. (also! this would be an example of what i meant in the reblog from the other post when i talked about actor's showing conflicts that aren't in the plot/the script)
to be honest, i'd love to double check ohm's spielrichtungen during this line with my mom, but unfortunately it's gonna be another two weeks until i go home for semester break. because this is one of those moments where i realize that i still need to practice my acting analysis skills a lot, because to be quite honest i'm having a moment of is it just me or...? where i'm not entirely sure if i'm seeing this "right" (not that there's much of a right or wrong here...)
alright, moving on... once he finishes talking?
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[gif 8]
right before ohm says his next line he falls back into inwards-mode again and once again we see that there are actual thoughts going through his head. what those thoughts are exactly i can't say, but to me it comes across as if pat is reflecting his statement of "you smell good", it looks like pat is lost in thought about pran smelling good (to be honest? at the end of the day it doesn't actually matter what ohm's exact thought process was, the important thing is that he had one at all, because now i as a viewer get to have fun with interpreting it)
and now we're finally coming to the end of the sequence i've decided to analyze. after a short moment of reflection pat adds "you smell so damn good" and goes to sniff pran one last time
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[gif 9]
and what's ohm's acting choice here? this time he goes for an exaggerated sniff, he points his entire nose at pran and breathes in loudly (which we can't hear in a gif, of course, but we can definitely very clearly hear that sniff in the episode itself). and delights me very much because this sniff right here? in comparison to the ones in the beginning? is very much for show
the first two times pat/ohm smelled pran was very "quiet", rather small and subtle, and very much for himself. it was a private moment. this sniff now? it's loud, it's exaggerated, it's big with ohm bending his entire face down in order to almost shove his nose right into nanon's back. and of course he sniffs extra loudly, to make sure pran can hear it (and yes, i'm specifically referring to the character now, bc ofc nanon should hear the sniff, but more importantly pran should hear it bc pat is about to be a little shit to annoy him)
the reason why this big sniff delights me so much (especially with regard to how the scene continues after the excerpt that i have chosen for this analysis) goes away from the technical aspect of it and is much more about my own interpretation, but i'll tell you anyway: again, in the beginning it was a private moment, pat was smelling pran just for himself. but this causes him to fail to react to what pran just said about chai being gone now and that pat can get up. having that little story arc where pat notices pran's smell and goes to check it out causes pat to linger and that makes pran suspicious. pran more or less catches pat in his own private moment, and so pat turns sniffing pran into a full on show. "you smell good" he says, "do my laundry", he says. pat was nearly caught having feelings for pran (bc we all know this is why he's so affected by the smell) (fun fact: in german we have this idiom that goes "jemanden nicht riechen können" which translates to "not being able to smell someone". it means that you don't like someone and that's why you can't or rather don't want to smell this person. this idiom actually showcases how important the sense of smell is interpersonal relationships) pat was nearly caught and now he deflects. he gets annoying on purpose (by shoving his nose into pran's back and loudly insisting that he likes the smell) to keep pran from asking more questions, he jokingly demands that pran does his laundry bc obviously pat likes the smell of the detergent, it's definitely not the smell of pran that he likes, okay? yes, exactly, pat likes the detergent, not pran, and him sniffing pran definitely had a heterosexual reason and there were definitely no romantic feelings involved. that's the story pat is putting out into the world, that's the show he's pulling off here. ohm goes from quiet and inwards to loud and outwards (spielrichtungen!) and it just delights me because there is so much i can get out of it when it comes to my interpretation
alright, so i've now reached the end of my chosen excerpt and now that we've gone through the entire thing i just want to talk about one last thing: changes.
in the reblog of the other post i mention that when i analyze acting i look out for whether anything changes. (i didn't explicitly say it in that reblog, but it gets boring when an actor keeps doing the same thing over and over again). in the reblog specifically i take emotions as an example, but also make a note that changes can apply to things other than emotions as well. in this scene of bad buddy ohm provides us with a beautiful example of what changes look like when it comes to a specific action
in this 10 second excerpt that i have chosen, pat smells pran 3x in total:
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do you see how each time the action of pat smelling pran is different? each time when pat smells pran it's motivated by a different thought, each time there's a different reason behind it:
the first time is all about pat noticing the smell in the first place, becoming aware of it at all. at this point it's rather accidental: pat never made a decision of "i'm going to smell pran now". no, it just happens. he percieves the smell on an emotional level. sniff one is all about the thought of "oh, i'm sensing a smell".
the second time is where the active decision to smell pran comes in. now he starts perceiving the smell on a cognitive level: this time pat is smelling pran on purpose, it's no longer accidental. pat has a reason to smell pran, he has a goal and it's to investigate that smell that he has just sensed. and as i've already said, he is in his own head and it's a private moment. his thoughts are kinda unfocused and he almost gets a little lost in these thoughts, in the smell. and it's a quiet, subtle action, he only slightly moves his head down to be a little closer to the source and get a better whiff, but that's it, no big loud breathing in, no exaggerated head bending. that sniff right here is for pat. that sniff is between pat and that smell, no one and nothing else. what ohm is doing here is creating a relation between pat and pran's smell
the third time the sniff also comes from an active decision. and again, it has a purpose behind it. this is also what happens in sniff no. 2, so in theory the same thing is happening twice, right? except no, bc the way ohm sniffs nanon for the 3rd time is completely different. while sniff no 2. was quiet and small, now sniff no. 3 is loud and big. it's exaggerated and it's for show. this sniff is no longer only between pat and pran's smell, no, now pran himself is involved too (whether pran likes it or not)
i've said it before and i'll say it again: i LOVE it when actors do actor things
alright, i really am done now. to be honest, i wish i had the time to go to my hometown and go through this whole analysis with my mom first before i post it. despite 3 full years of drama school and 2.5 years of intensely analyzing asian drama with my mom i still don't feel confident in the knowledge i've gained so far and i feel like i need someone with more experience to check my thoughts before i can go publish them for the whole internet to see. but i guess it's time for me to become a big girl that doesn't need to rely on her mommy's opinions. i guess it's because i feel like there is still so much more that i need to learn and there is so much more that i don't notice yet and so i'm afraid that what if what i'm saying is wrong? what if i'm talking bullshit here? but i guess it's time i trust the skills that i have gained so far. besides, when it comes to this there often isn't necessarily a right or wrong but rather a what do you see and how does that make you feel? so i'll go and post this anyway without having anyone look over it, because this is what i see right now at this point in time as i'm writing this. and if at some point in the future i realize i disagree i can always write an update (or another post)
all in all i had fun with this not so little analysis. and i hope you too had fun reading it <3
(edit: as you could already see from the previous edits, well, i actually did have my mom read this whole post at some point after all. she was very impressed and said my analysis is extremely well written. she had almost nothing to add. it's truly about time i start trusting my own skills fklslkkdlsf)
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papercutsmp3 · 3 months
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bro is inquisitive
#thinking of the possibilities of how it could be worse it's funny how you start to get addicted to thinking like a danmei writer#you are like anddd what if this person was (insert a guy who coughed once in chapter 15) anyways#i managed to not get many spoilers bc i hate it but i have always suspected that shi mei had a thing for cwn firstly bc i once saw a ship#tag and was like ?? well that is not uncommon as people ship shrek with chanyeol (im people) but secondly after that scene where mo ran#pinky interrogated him i was sooo 100% sure of it. but then there was nothing much so i let it go. the one mini spoiler i saw was#the enemy on pinterest who replied to a pic of a character saying it was shi mei/other name (didn't look at it) so it was why i knew#he was classically someone else. but even without that his ass was raising suspicion just for the way how blank he was#and i knew it was intentional so i kept thinking who he could be and my guess was xu shuanglin (rest in pieces poor guy)#bc i thought that both of them had the same spiritual essence or something. also the guy in the motel at the beginning who also had water#essense could only be either of them. but this is not the point bc then i was thinking that shi mei was simultaneously mo nian#bc why would he have the reason to be annoyed with mo ran to that extent. and also bc i knew there was a fire and hua binance has face burn#but mo ran chopped his head off bless his souls and good for him so how else can that be worse#he could also be that child of nangong yan who had his mother die bc of mo ran and mom he would also have a reason to try and compare#himself to mo ran in every way and hate him but why would he need to store nangong blood for mount jiao is he is nangong himself#but that would be great for disgusting points bc he would be mo ran's half brother doing all that ??#im just taking a break from throwing up bc of his ass trying to assault cwn every chance he gets and idk anything yet#so it would be interesting to keep guessing his motives as i do not get it yet but also (procceed to throw up)#also his interactions with corpse taxian ?? god tier. taxian is in the middle of diss battle drops his mic after every sentence#the crowd (me) cheers. moving on but i really enjoy insane plot twists i wish i remembered well what i was thinking while reading tgcf#the widely known thing is that i didn't even consider that fu yao and nan feng were fengqing it's my favorite thing bc i wholeheartedly#believed the little guys just loved their generals way too much#00
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candyn-gutz · 3 months
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i cant. stop crying again
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qualapi · 3 months
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tagged by @yurinullification to give 5 albums i like right now. thank u for the tag! <3
eureka, Kinoko Teikoku
BIMBOCORE VOL. 2, Scene Queen
Get To Heaven (Deluxe), Everything Everything
Nurture, Porter Robinson
Digital Meadow, Dora Jar I'll be tagging 5 instead of 10! @communist-hatsunemiku @an-ambient-girl @transgender-shimarin @matzahstein @alice-hastur
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fleshdyke · 11 months
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ahsgsjaugejwjg
#sh/sui warning for tags#been having a shit day and just not feeling great overall and usually drinking water and eating helps but it hasnt today :/#which means its an Actual Problem this time. like i knew it was an actual problem when i fucking cut AGAIN but idk#idk man. im just so so so scared of my friends hating me#and i know i have to see my partner again bc she is the one and only person that never ever makes me feel safe and unjudged and everything#but idk. as of right now im just not havin a great time.#like its actually so stupid the things i get upset about. there was some motivational speaker at my school today and when we got called down#to go watch the presentation i had to take like five seconds to grab my bag and phone from my desk#and my two friends got up and left together without waiting for me#and i know it wasn’t their intention and they weren’t trying to be mean or anything but man. doesnt make it hurt less yk.#and i saw some post from a guy in my school of him and his friends in the cafeteria and idk why but it made me so sad. it made me think abt#one time my friends said they wanted to walk around at lunch so i was like ok i’ll eat alone that’s fine bc i’m too disabled to walk around#the school. and then someone sent me a pic of them all eating together in the cafeteria. and i know they probably just stopped there for a#second and weren’t purposely ignoring me or anything but man that did not help yk#i want to leave them alone bc they never seem to want to talk to me but im trying to tell myself its just my mind but its so hard to#and i do love my friends and im making them seem a lot worse here than they are but its just. god im so scared.#idk. i dont actually want to die but i wish i could kms like. temporarily.#i know this is bad and manipulative but i just cant shake the want to know what would happen if i did yk. and this is a terrible train of#thought but like i want my friends to realize how scared this makes me and if i have to kms to do that. idk.#ive brought it up to them before and they pretty much told me to eat with someone else and i said i didnt have any other friends and they#kind of just said not my problem. so i dont want to bring it up again bc im mature enough to deal with my own issues and shit#it’s just hard man. i dont know how im supposed to communicate w them bc everything feels like im traumadumping on them and i dont want to#bother them. im trying to convince myself its not an issue and it doesnt actually bother me but i know it does bc i just fucking relapsed#and i had a city council thing in class today and i was the only person that was denied any funding at all and i was trying not to take it#personally and i was doing pretty good but i told my mom about it and she started defending the ppl that refused me anything and then it was#suddenly personal to me for some reason. its stupid and i know that but god that doesnt make it any better#rambles#vent
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citrucee · 1 year
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an explosion of ideas!!
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pepprs · 1 year
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i am now a cookie run kingdom girl. 🙈😭
#purrs#i prefer ovenbreak in terms of the gameplay bc i LOVE play formers and hate strategy games and the resource grinding where u basically just#have to sit there and wait for a ticking clock instead of doing things urself. but im gonna be honest i took one look at milky way cookie#and i KNEW it was over and i would have to play this game. and it’s not as bad as i thought like the graphics are so much better and i love#the designs and the auto mode takes me away from having to deal w strategy stuff bc i literally don’t care and hate the battles etc etc#but im having a good time i think. im at like lvl 15 with a lvl 4 kingdom and i have milky way and some other rly good characters and im#doing well for now. it’s just intimidating looking up tutorials and stuff bc ppl in the discord are all so advanced and talk in shorthand i#don’t understand and i feel like shit for being a noob but that’s also the case for ovenbreak and idc abt competing w ppl anyways. so w/e#one very annoying aspect is like.. how EVRRYTHING requires stuff at the smithy even when you’re trying to access new levels but it takes so#lo ng to make the damn pickaxes 😭 so im just spending all my crystals on those + expanding territory quickly bc all the buildings are#stressing me out. im probably gonna regret it but again im not competing w anyone and if this is what i need to do to enjoy the experience#then so be it. also the moments in levels where it makes u jump and stuff to replicate ovenbreak are so funny to me 💀#like it’s so lame compared to what ovenbreak actually is it makes me giggle every time. i wish these games were combined and i wish milky#way was in ovenbreak she’s genuinely my new favorite cookie of all time i think. i love her SO much#well but i feel bad putting her above pistachio cookie 😭 so they’re tied i guess#also *platformers in my first tag#cr
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elegyofthemoon · 7 months
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idk what i do to make very talkative people like me but i keep befriending the most talkative people which is like YAY COOL !!! bc im generally pretty quiet but also augh my energy.
#LIKE IF ANYONE KNOWS WHY PLS LET ME KNOW? I GENUINELY HAVE ZERO IDEA WHAT I DO TO ATTRACT TALKATIVE PEOPLE#friends tag#O YEAH FRIENDS TAG#wait i forgot if this was on here or other blog#oh well whatever#i love my friends#but it seems to be the most constant thing since being in this school#which is great for getting me out of my shell!!!#but also 'wow. there is a pattern i am seeing.'#i really wish i knew/understood what i do kdfjdjdjjs#anyways i hung out w a new friend today#OR WELL#i needed to go study at the library. he wanted to tag along and be productive#bc we both have The Shittiest Desks and Chair ever#so we hung out a bit and studied together#and i forgot how fast time went by bc he was just Extremely Talkative fjdjdjd#like not talkative to the point of disruption bc i had to make both of us study#but yeah it was like ??? HUH HOWD WE GET HERE SO FAST#anyways its fine too bc i was worried that id just be isolated while studying here#which isnt bad im kinda used to it tbh but i was like :( everyones gonna be busy no fun times or fun chats :(((#i tried talking and chatting up other folks from my school here but theyre pretty quiet so i was worried i was bugging them fjfnfn#but then there was this guy and we've known each other since his day 1 here and we're also neighbors so its like#BUDDIES STICK TOGETHER!!! HOLD EACH OTHER ACCOUNTABLE#hes sweet tho!! we have plans to go around to cities and stuff#yes we are studying BUT NEW COUNTRY WE SHOULD EXPLORE!!!!#so hes dragging me to one city. im dragging him to another lmao#anyways. point is. that was kinda lucky i have a talkative/outgoing friend#so im not turning into a plant in my room lmao#snow speaks
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LOZTOTKFANART AND LAZYOWL I LEGIT DIDNT EXPECT NICE TAGS LIKE THIS?? WAAAA!?? ;//O//;
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