thank god i have therapy tonight because the amount of times today i've had to change my own language in my head because i've been having ~silly~ thoughts is CONCERNING
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i feel really guilty for not having any drawings to post, i just haven't felt right
i know i shouldn't feel bad but i do
i also feel like what even am i if i'm not drawing y'know? XD i just don't know
not like i haven't tried but still..
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I think I still love him
But he's way too good for me. He deserves the world, & I'm just a toxic irradiated pebble.
I wish he could know how sorry I am about everything. I wish I could go back and do it all over again, if nothing else than to be able to see his face again. To be in his arms again.
I hope he's happy whatever he's doing. Living his best life.
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trying to get back into drawing - Loki sketch
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I'm sorry I am stressful, and I am lazy, and I don't look after things properly, and I leave things in places they shouldn't be, and for not being happier, and for not bringing more income to have less worries, and for not being very pretty, and for not doing my hair/makeup all the time, and for not being slimmer, and for eating all the time, and for wearing the same clothes all the time, and for not having things organized or prepared, and for not being serious, and not being more understanding, and for not doing as much as I can to make things better, and for not being a better person, and for being so sensitive/emotional, and for not being more fun, and for being kind of a loser in life, and for procrastinating everything, and for not being more successful, and for not making you proud, and for not having many skills, and for not being more independent, and for everything in general.........
I'm surprised that anyone even bothers to stay around me and my dwindling, chaotic, pathetic life.
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TRIGGER WARNING
Soooo my best friend just told me to kms (I think as a joke) and I don’t know what to do with myself rn.
Context: I posted an “ugly pic” of her on my spam account (with 6 followers and one other person saw it) and then she commented “kys”. I’ve now deleted the pic and no one else saw the pic except her and a friend of ours and I apologized.
Anyway I really don’t know how to feel about this. She knows a lot about my situation and the fact that she just said that is weird. I really don’t know what to do rn.
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Potrzebuje pomocy
Nie wiem co mam zrobić. Ostatnio zamiast trzymać się limitów, fastów i wgl to czuje stres, ze nie mogę jesc i przynosi to odwrotny efekt. Objadam się wielkimi ilościami jedzenia potrzebuje pomocy. Jakiś sposobów na poradzenie sobie z tym. Już nie daje rady POMOCY
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I'm going to go to sleep and maybe pull myself back together with duct tape afterwards
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