#i wish i were dead i wish i weee dead i wish i wew dead i wish i were dead

[peepo]

#ok one last post #i wish my mom would see all the complaining i do about her sometimes #but like with her shed probably beat me half to death or kick me out so like i can’t do that #it’s kind of funny like i keep wishing she hit me more because only ONE TIME she made me bleed. she’s hurt me woth slaps and belt whippings #but only one time she hit my face so hard and so repeatedly it made my nose bleed. i wish she’d do it more! #physical abuse hurts less and is easier to explain than emotional abuse you’ve had to deal with your whole life. i wish she died as well as #my sexually abusive step dad numerous time. #s. him more but i genuinely think about how happy i would be without her in my life. i’d cry and maybe kill myself because now i have no 1 #to live for but like... at least it would be most of my issues solved! plus i didn’t kill myself whdn someone else died but IG he didn’t #have as much of an impact on me as a woman who’s been here my whole life. yet i still think about sawyer more than #my grandfather and my friends sister and everyone else and i just wish i could trade in my life for his. he actually had something going & #i’m just a waste of space do nothing accomplish nothing idiot who has no family to feel guilty for #i wish i were dead i wish i weee dead i wish i wew dead i wish i were dead #sorry but i genuinely do and i can’t deal with it anymore. i won’t do anything but it hurts so much and k can’t #i can’t. i canr. i can’t do this i just want out of here and o know if i took all my pills i wouldn’t overdose and just be sent for more #FUCKING bills at the ficking hospital because they want me to be indebt to them for my entire life #i hate it i hate myself i hate my life there’s good things but the bad outweighs the good i have to deal with the bad everyday and wake up #to it and cook for it and do it’s taxes and work and cleaning and resumes and job applications #i have to take cate of its cat and make sure to not step on any toes and cry silently so that it doesn’t feel responsible #it’s very painful. goodnight. my head hurts.