Adventures in MTAS datamining (pt. 1/?: art assets)
Because I am incredibly normal about this game, I’ve been poking around in the game’s files (and MTAP’s, too) pretty much ever since I got it. Unity games are pretty easy to datamine, since tools are already out there, which is incredibly fortunate for fueling the hyperfixation. I wanted to share some of the more interesting things I’ve found on my travels. Spoiler warning: There are some midgame spoilers below (i.e. starting with the water tower). There’s also one thing that might be a future spoiler, which is at the very end and marked accordingly.
General disclaimer: If you’re curious to try datamining out yourself, feel free to ask me for how-to’s, but please be careful! Never edit the game’s files directly. Make copies and back up your save files. You’ll also need a good amount of RAM (I recommend at least 16 GB) to be able to handle tools like AssetStudio, since you’ll be loading assets directly into memory. And MTAS has a lot of assets. You may also encounter unreleased future content in there...so preemptive spoiler warning for that as well.
Since there’s so much to dig through, this post will only focus on some of the art/visual things. These can either be found under StreamingAssets > AssetBundles, or StreamingAssets > AssetBundles > art_asset. I can’t really comment too much on the 3D assets (meshs, textures) since I don’t know too much about modeling, but here are some other interesting things I found!
Cutscene thumbnails
You can find thumbnails of the cutscenes without the builder in them. The in-game album uses different thumbnails, which look like screenshots taken when it’s playing for the first time (hence why skipping a cutscene won’t put it in your album). Some of them actually really nice. Wallpaper-worthy, even.
The one they use for the kidnapping cutscene is incredible.
(ask people who don’t play mtas to caption this image.)
Newspaper photos
In The Tumbleweed Standard, the monthly issues are accompanied by these photos. Something about the filter makes it look pretty. Here are my personal favorites:
Family photos
You ever wanted to see the photos in the NPCs’ houses up close? Now you can! They’re all super sweet. Welllll, most of them.
(My favorite one’s the one with babby Heidi 😭 [far right, midway down])
It’s still unfortunately kinda blurry, since they’re meant to show up pretty small in-game. Hopefully you’re still able to see them.
Here’s a bit of a buffer before the last thing I have to show, since it’s probably the one thing that could be a future spoiler. If it is, it’s probably fairly minor. Hop off now if you don’t want that.
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Fine with maybe being spoiled? Alright, here we go...
Lastly, I leave you with a forbidden image:
...I’m sorry, who is this???
So, uh...Qi has an alternate set of character art. No other character has one (except Elsie for story reasons). I assume this’ll be a DLC outfit, like those in MTAP? Kinda weird how only one would be loaded into the files so far. The asset name doesn’t really give any pointers, it’s just marked as “Qi2″. It only exists as character art, no model or texture or anything like that.
So is this past Qi? Future Qi?? Qi for one day if he’s forced to wear something nice for a change??? It looks like the neat and complete version of his normal outfit. You can see the same shirt and tie, same pants (except they aren’t rolled up at the ankles anymore?), same shoes. I’m also just now noticing that his suit jacket’s the same color as the mobile suit, haha funni joke. Again, not a single other character besides Elsie has an alternate outfit yet in these files. What is this for?! I have no fuckin clue, but I can say that Qi cleans up pretty nicely 👀
(kinda wish he kept the messy hair, tbh. doesn’t really look right without it)
And that’ll wrap up this little datamining dive! I’ll probably come back to the art in the future, once more gets added, or if I find some other things to share. In the next parts, I’ll be showing off some of the audio and text data, but I do want to wait until future game updates for some of it. Hope you found this as interesting as I do!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to continue reeling from the psychic damage that full-suited Qi’s done to my poor little brain.
ETA: i just realized that it looks like the fucking onceler’s outfit. i am deeply sorry for putting the image of onceler qi in your head
or am i
Edit 2: Unfortunately, as of several beta builds pre-release, full suit Qi has largely been removed. The full art version isn’t in the files anywhere, but there are still some map icons of him. Not sure if this is something for postgame content or a romantic mission they didn’t have time to add. We’ll have to see :P
ngl i kinda prefer scruffy qi over this lol
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18, 19, & 23 from the end of year asks!
tysm for the ask!!! <3 <3 The ask game had such lovely questions, you choose good ones! (sorry if this is going to make me sappy lol)
18 - A memorable meal this year?
Uuuuh good question. A memorable snack was definitely when me and my sis made pancakes, they were sooo good.
A more substancial meal lol... hm maybe the Mc nuggets and fries me and my sis had after my physiology 2 exam (i really thought i was going to fail, but i passed!! - i have a pic of the happy meal box on my phone wallpaper lol)
19 - What’re you excited about for next year?
Finishing my bachelor's degree!! Also my 20th birthday, more percy jackson episodes coming out, the haikyuu movie, the final project for my bachelor's and voting for the first time!
Those are the main events i'm looking foward for this year, but tbh I'm just excited. I think I learned a lot in 2023, so can't wait to try things with a new perspective!
23 - If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?
Girl, i wish i knew tbh. This was simultaneously the worst and best year ever, and it took turns that came right from my more delusional dreams, which was kinda insane, and not always in the good way.
so maybe just smth like: prepare yourself for the unexpected, and remember that your sister is always there for you and that things will be alright.
I don't have anything else to say to myself tbh, i know i couldn't have done any different, so all i can do is learn from my experiences <3
Definitely a little more emotional answers than i expected but, oh well. Once again, tysm for the ask 💜
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The Six Fanarts challenge but with ‘Red, White and Royal Blue’ characters!
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𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐲/𝐧
MASTERLIST
now, childe as a general streamer,,, he’s a whale in every sense of the word
…
poggers—
so childe as a streamer in general would be one word ;
✨chaotic✨
he would definitely be a variety streamer, but more so for games !!
especially pvp and/or pve games
competitive meta mf—
probably plays LoL, overwatch, apex legends, valorant and minecraft
don’t question the minecraft
he likes mining but has a personal vendetta against the creepers bc once they blew up his mansion
yes, a mansion
ask any of his community and they’ll tell u he spent a full-blown month and a half playing just minecraft to build it, only for it to go down just like that ;-;
his chat loved it tho <//3
he’s played honkai too !! mainly for the pve and grinding bc he’s a whale but uh,,, shhh
his community,,, his community are just a bunch of trolls at this point i cant even lie
they just KEKW, SADGE & COPIUM spam everything and the newer viewers get intimidated until they realise he deserves them all HJGKJHF
especially when he starts getting annoyed by the game,,, his reactions are too good to pass up on gn
typically when he does mario kart streams 👩🦯 that shit’s wild when it happens oh my
when he falls in rainbow road 🤡
and especially bc he has his webcam on, his viewers just see him internally dying or wanting to scream
also gets passive aggressive
shit talks everything and everyone when in that mood <//3
for what’s left of his dignity i won’t disclose what happens
definitely gets jebaited a lot too <//3 unfortunately he’s too easy for his chat ;-;
another mf with a massive community except he has a lot of friends (sorry not sorry albedo)
ppl have a love-hate relationship with him tbh; u either love him or hate him
no inbetween
unless u show ur love through bullying him then go off ig
his discord server, twt + yt are also really big too !! also verified on insta
also !!
he has lots of plushies :(( esp whale plushies from his community bc he’s the biggest whale they know <//3
but if u look at his setup, there’s a mini whale plushie on the top of his main monitor (he has 3), one big one (like,,, up to his chin) behind him, a smol on the top of his chair so u can see it above his head, and just more off screen HKJSDHL
they asked for a room tour once and half of it was just whale plushies
the rest were LED lights + shelves of merch & gifts from his community !!
he even has some fanmail (actual wholesome ones that aren’t cursed) pinned on a board too 🥺
also has an ensuite—
when he was eating on stream one time, his chat was sent into an absolute outrage
u know why?
bc he was eating noodles with a fork
bby ;-;
so sometimes he’ll get sent those beginner chopsticks with the finger guides to help him 👩🦯
he’s actually made sure to eat with them on stream tho bc he was sent one with a narwhal on top and he thinks it’s cute JHGJKH
nOW ONTO THIS MAN BEING WHIPPED FOR U AS A GENSHIN STREAMER !!!!
herkekle
now, his (also) AR56 ass has been playing since genshin first came out
an og if u will
this man,,, he’s been in love with u even before the game’s official release 🐥
not only were u in the promotional art and trailers, but he was also one of the beta testers so he got to try out ur character first hand in the early stages !!
and when i say he fell hard for u,
i mean it
when the game wasn’t released publicly yet, he wasn’t allowed to disclose any information and ngl, it killed him that he couldn’t talk abt u :((
so all he could do was say this upcoming was really nice so far and subtly brag abt u to everyone JHGKJSDFHLK
when the official ads & promotional art were finally released 🥺🥺 when i tell u he immediately went live talking abt the game and u HKGJHFDK
he didn’t care that he streamed at an ungodly hour bc he’s been waiting for the reveal for so long he needs to let everyone know </3
he retweeted everything from their official twt straightaway, made a yt video based off his spontaneous stream promoting the game + pinged his entire server abt it
yes
his nearly 200k server all got pinged abt this one game bc he’s in love with a character from it
and he has no regrets abt it <33
the day the game was available for download, he stREAMED THE ENTIRE DOWNLOAD PROCESS
while he and his chat were waiting, they decided to watch the trailers and character showcases to get a feel for the game, and played some mario kart to pass the time !!
as soon as the game loaded, he threw mario kart behind him and went on 🐥
he typed his name (ajax) for the when he chose aether and literally everyone was appreciating the aesthetics HKJFS
but childe,,, he was waiting for it to be over so he could see u ;-;
he appreciated the aesthetics, fighting mechanics & voice acting a lot tho !!
now he had gotten through all the tutorials, got all the chests he could he was finally in mond
and there u were 🥺 after the dvalin encounter u arrived before kaeya did
and boy did he show u off sm to his viewers HKJHKLF
they knew he was down bad before but now?? they know it’s hopeless to save him and if he ever falls out of love that’s when the world ends
luckily that’ll never happen tho <33
but he took !! so many !! screenshots !!
oh, and did i mention he changed his wallpapers to u? and his twt + discord pfps are also some very aesthetic screenshots of u from that first scene ;-;
he just appreciates u sm okay 🥺
he even clutched his chest where his heart is and sunk down his chair when he heard u speak 😩
his chat just spammed his downbad + y/nlove + SHRIMP emotes and he accepted them all with grace <33
now when he unlocks the wishing feature,,, u already know he’s wishing for u as soon as possible
ur in the standard banner so ur always there which he appreciates but he would’ve wanted u to be limited so he can rub it in ppl’s faces ;-;
and since it was the first release rewards, he had tons of wishes right off the bat !!
he was gonna roll for venti after he gets u bc,,, well does he need a reason??
also he doesn’t do well with archer characters in general ;;; but if ur an archer then ur obv an exception sooo
bUT he got a 5 star in his first 20 pulls !!
tho it was diluc 👩🦯
while he was happy bc he got an incredibly meta character right off the bat,
he wasn’t interested in diluc,,, (even now his diluc is barely looked after, and only used for spiral abyss, *sweats*)
the next 5 star he got was around the 60 mark, and he got a weapon,,,
i mean,,, he got the weapon that was most suited for u so that’s smth at least (ˉ▽ˉ;)
after he used all his remaining primos and fates, he finally got u 🥺
he just went “fuck the storyline” and immediately put u in his party and just
admired u as a whole
went through all the voice lines available, ur character story, ur idle animations (he had a heart attack from u and his chat clipped it) and took many, many screenshots
his favourite voice lines would have to be the night + about us + (y/n)’s hobbies
and then he equipped u with ur weapon and damnnn did u look so good with it 😩
he changed u to be his avatar, with his signature as :
“(y/n)’s whale <3”
and now the whaling process begins 👩🦯
after at least £2k, he got u to c6, along with at least 1 copy of all the standard 5 stars,,
then he went for venti’s banner—
his chat were just too focused on how he’s gonna play u to even think of anything else tbh HKJAH
with ur kit, u were honestly seen to be a dps or even a sub dps if ppl don’t want u on the field all the time
so definitely a perfect character for mr meta strimmer tartaglia (his twitch name btw ;;; childe is just smth he prefers his community to call him as but they also call him ajax too HKJSD) here
so he went through the archon quests with u as his carry and i won’t lie, ur name card is smth he has printed and framed behind him after he got it 🥺
he later finds out ur part of the fatui in the liyue archon quest tho and has to fight u with,,,
well, u ;;;
he finds it hot tho so it’s okay—
i won’t lie tho, his zhongli after he got him is his second strongest after u
he just builds all his characters in the most broken way he can so he can show his viewers that everyone can be a dps in their own right, not just the ones meant to be since there’s no right or wrong in this game !!
but now ur weapon is r5, ur lvl 90 and u have lvl 20 5 star artifacts that make u the most broken (y/n) seen
ppl who co op with him are honestly baffled,,, especially when the feature of them being able to view other players’ character stats become available,,,
u with ur nearly 3k atk,,,
he’s hit over 600k with u tho and he’ll always flex that
no one can top him as a (y/n) main and that’s honestly just a fact at this point 😩
when he saw that the dating sim hangouts was official, his immediate and iconic response was simply ;
“so when will (y/n) become a dateable, huh 🤨”
to this day he’s still waiting to be able to date u in-game <//3
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Hello! I hope there’s still a slot for your recent game or if its still open :’) i wanted what i can learn from my past life :)) my initials are cd🪐 ❄️
Hello! I know it’s been weeks so I apologize!
Hm, I heard kaleidoscope and telescope? Your past self grew to an old age. Actually, more of a mentor I believe did. A man they greatly admired. This mentor most likely took them in at a young age.
Knowing what I know of the past most mentors during this time I feel were very harsh to their students. I see a child with brown hair looking up at a man on a doorstep. He’s worried somehow, remembering his past. His eyes don’t portrayed how he feels. He looks up at the mentor as if he’s the sun and moon.
This feels like a savior moment. I feel he could have lost his family in a war of some kind. Most likely sickness I’m feeling now. It feels more 18th to 19th century. I got reminded of the wallpapers and children’s toys of the time. It might’ve even been due to starvation if they were poor. Tuberculosis possibly also. It’s unclear fully.
I feel though that the older mentor had actually died of tuberculosis. Though our main character here could’ve gotten syphilis from the red light districts.
In his youth, he was very prominent in the competitive world. Possibly even a thief at times to prove street kids he was better at picketing and more. I see him having little games with them, most younger. He’s a teen in these images. A dirty blondes have brown. I get some Icarus gives also. The image of him flying abuse the moon and under the sun. Eyes shining in the glory and brains her always knew he had. Something greater in the sun that he wished was his.
He also was a very big womanizer in terms. Often spending his time taking on married women and brothels of all. He reminds me of Liszt 💀. This is why he got syphilis of course. This may have been in his 20s or 30s. Im currently unsure of this is his cause of death.
Going back to the mentor. I feel he depended on him like a son to his father. Though it was more in his favor than the mentors. He often took advantage and asked a lot from the old man, from money to a place to stay when he was in his 30s. The old man threatened to kick him out countless times, sometimes cloying through with it.
He did see the guy as his child. But he always reminded himself of what they actually were to each other. It may be that he found he couldn’t have children. A man possibly even widowed. His story is sad and lonely. The boy coming to him was like a message from his god. He could’ve been Jewish I feel, or maybe Lutheran. I see them both fighting over philosophy and religion lol. They stood from very different but similar view points and ground. The mentor saw himself in the young boy at times. Saw his wife also who he dearly missed.
I heard you the boy asking him why he didn’t want a wife or why he never saw women around when you guys were eating once. The old man looking into his meal.
There’s so much to tell about them tbh. They feel familial. Destined to meet. There could’ve been rumors when they had started their relationship that he was molesting the boy or that he was his illegitimate son. Possible the boy even thought this at some point. He desperately wanted to be a part of the mans life. Saw him as his savior and father. The reason he depended so toxically and much on the older man. I saw him tugging at his clothes when he was a child. Asking the man something while he was talking to another.
Other warm times include the man holding the boy up in his arms when walking. Colder ones where the child is left alone. Your past life is filled with a heart that feels like gold, the boys eyes are fixated on in my mind. A mix of the gold reflecting from his heart to his hair. Hints of green moss inside the crevices.
Your lesson is unclear. And I wish I could tell you fully of the life of the past you (the boy). I think there’s some stuff coming now. I see him running again, from a group of boys or girls. Possibly because he tried to seduce one of their lovers lol. I feel he may swing both ways secretly though. He went to a well enough school when the two had the money. Taking teachings both from the man and a few of his colleagues. I see now that the man could’ve been a professor of some kind too. The boy wanting to grow up to become the same one day. He was a very respected professor at first. But could’ve went into alcoholism when his wife passed. He might’ve even gone through it when he kid arrived on his doorstep to some ways in the relationship. In a way, the boy was his savior too. I heard the name Elliot for the boy. Maybe spelled Eliot even. This could be a Jewish community in general. Though back to what I was saying. Eliot was his savior also. He saw a glimpse of the boy he used to be, and the man he’d hoped to become before his wife passed. This somehow brought a sense of need in him, to raise Eliot and take him in under his wing. Another need being to sober himself. I feel he could’ve felt his wife had sent Eliot to him as a sign even. Possibly one of love and passion, or a hopeful prayer he would be the man he promised to be for her.
I see him clutching and holding onto Eliot at first. Holding back tears. This is where the colder exterior seems to soften up. In the parts where he is reminded of his wife and his goals. His mission from god.
Something to learn from the man and Eliot. Is that love will always be a sign. You end up seeing the things you love in the people you know and see. They remind you of who you want to be and who you are. The people who love you especially. This may seem like something said than more of a lesson. But remember this and you will reach the sun.
Your dreams also come in the manifestation of your mind and will. The things you do with the body you own are up to you. The things you want to become are up to you. If you want it to be done, don’t wait for it. Your Eliot is yourself until proven guilty. Imagine your goals complete in your own eyes and then approach the world and make them happen.
I feel kinda dumb for saying this but I feel it’s important.
Eliot might say that even though your life seems down at times. There’s always a light beyond your vision, it should be a goal also to want to see that better light and wish to follow the trail to it, make your own trail, or bring it home. This light shouldn’t be something you fear but something you are excited for. The moon is beyond your way of thinking, not completely unimportant but not what should be your main focus. It’s the light of the sun that will keep your dreams alive, so look forward to it.
To learn from the old man you have to look into yourself for the next spring and rest of winter.
He wishes for you to dallie in the things you think are unimportant too, or little in your life will be truly found and seen. Even the buzzing of the bees he used to mock as a young adult. Try your best to spend your time following as many rivers and streams you can. Taking breaks and going back for more of you feel it’s best.
This felt short and bad but I hope it worked for you! Please send feedback even if it was very little resonating! I like to hear anything.
I got a random image of Eliot drawing lol. That’s all enjoy your day lovely!
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The Scars of Our Past: Chapter 17
Did I forget to post this chapter here? Yes. Have I completely forgot which chapters have and haven’t been posted here? Also yes. Sorry I’m not super consistent on the posting here on tumblr tbh I just find it a bit obnoxious to format here so I procrastinate then forget all together. At one point in the future I’ll go through and make sure each chapter is posted and set up a mast list of each but for now it’s probably easiest to read over on ao3. Anyway! Chapter 17! Hope y’all enjoy 🥰 as always these characters belong to @lumosinlove
By the time he made it back to his motel Leo had opened and closed his messenger app at least twenty times. He opened it, typed out a message to Logan but then chickened out and deleted it. There were things that needed to be said after he and Logan had toed the point of no return together. They needed to talk, needed to stabilize the ground beneath their feet before they fell into a sinkhole of regret, but it seemed like Logan didn’t want to talk.
OLeo jiggled the key in the old frozen lock on his door until it relented opening with a click, once inside he leaned against the closed door and opened his messenger one more time.
(You): Look I know things are probably weird now, I’m so sorry I never meant for that to happen. Please know that I still want to be your friend, I know we haven’t known each other that long but Logan, you’ve become so important to me. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore but please, but if you do, text me or call hell I’d settle for carrier pigeon if that’s what you want. If you don’t want to talk to me though I’ll respect that decision.
Leo pressed send before he could chicken out again and quickly put his phone on Do Not Disturb too nervous to see what or even if Logan would respond. He shuffled forward into the dark room flicking on the light switch as he passed, the fluorescent bulb flickered and buzzed, illuminating the room in a shuddering light that made Leo’s eyes hurt. The dingy wallpaper was stained yellow from the nicotine of who knows how many occupants cigarette smoke, Leo sighed again and laid back on his bed, his eyes staring at the popcorn ceiling.
See this is why you don’t get attached. This is why you weren’t supposed to let anyone else get close, because the moment you do you’re destined to lose them again.
Leo hated this place. He hated that stupid popcorn ceiling he stared at every night, he hated the yellowing walls, and the flickering lights. He hated that no matter how high he turned up the heater, his room was rarely warmer than the air outside.
He hated it. And he hated this feeling inside him. It was like ever since that night so long ago, his insides had turned into a toxic sludge that ruined everything it touched. He hated the fact that despite how much he knew he shouldn’t have let them, Finn and Logan had begun to mean so very much to him. And he was terrified that the black murky sludge inside him was going to reach up and poison the roots of them that had started growing in his heart when all he wanted was to nurture them and watch those roots take hold until his chest burst open with blooming peonies. Leo wasn’t sure if his heart could take it if instead; the roots were to simply rot away, leaving in their wake nothing but dry brittle stems ready to blow away in the wind.
Give it a chance. Baby, let yourself heal.
The only way to make the hurt a little less, is to start moving on.
Leo closed his eyes against the flickering light above him and breathed in deep then out slow and even.
It was time.
Before he could think himself out of the decision Leo pulled his phone from his pocket and opened the contacts. It didn’t escape his notice that Logan hadn’t responded to his message, but he didn’t let that stop him. He scrolled down and chuckled at the silly name now set as Finn’s contact and clicked the call button.
The phone rang and rang and then words were filling his ear before Leo even realized Finn had picked up the call.
“Hey you, I really hope you called to apologize for not reacting to the video I sent you earlier because honestly three whole minutes of watching cats being scared deserved a reaction.” Finn’s voice was warm and teasing and made Leo smile softly.
“Sorry, I hadn’t checked the group chat yet I was… in the middle of something. But now I know I have something to look forward to,” Leo replied.
“Hmm,”’ Finn hummed low like he was contemplating something but the sound pressed directly to Leo’s ear made him shiver; It felt like he was right there behind him whispering to him. “Well, I suppose I can overlook it this once. But I’m warning you I’m needy and crave validation so this is your one freebie.”
Leo chuckled at that, “Don’t worry I’ll laugh at all of your memes.”
“That makes me happy,” Finn said softly and Leo could almost hear the little smile in his voice, “so what can I do for you Leo? Since you haven’t watched the video yet and I can’t imagine you called just to listen to my dulcet voice, I assume you had something on your mind.”
“Maybe I like listening to your voice,” Leo replied before he could stop himself.
“Yeah?’ Finn asked, his voice almost breathless.
“Mmm, but you’re right I did have a reason I called.”
“Alright, shoot.”
Leo shifted on his bed, eyes roving over the dingy motel room once more solidifying his decision, “Is that offer still open? To live with you?”
There was the sound of rustling on the other end like Finn had sat up in bed to take in Leo’s question.
“I’ll pay you rent of course,” he heard a breath on the other end, Finn about to protest but Leo continued before he got the chance, “there is no way I’m not going to so don’t even try to talk me out of that.”
“Fine,” Finn conceded, “I won’t fight you on that. Honestly, I’m just really happy you decided to do it, I hate thinking of you living in that motel. I can’t imagine it’s a good place to be.”
Leo huffed a slight laugh, “you have no idea.”
“Alright then, when do you want to move in? I’ll have a new key cut for you, and I can come pick you and your stuff up from the motel if you want?”
“That would be great Fish, do you think Sunday would work?”
“Sunday is perfect.”
“Alrighty, well I guess that's it then,” Leo said softly, not entirely sure what else to say.
“I guess it is,” Finn's voice was low in his ear.
“Goodnight, then.”
“Goodnight Leo,” Leo ended the call wishing he could hear his name whispered into his ear by Finn's lips every single day.
He let his phone fall out of his hand onto the bed and sighed, and when he breathed in again for the first time in years there was a lightness in his chest that nearly made him sob in relief.
This was good. This was a step forward.
Read on ao3
Chapter 18
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With All My Love
Rating: M
Pairing: Kristanna (as if it would be anything else)
Also on AO3
Previous Chapters: (Prologue One)
Note(s): lmao the muse bug has bitten HARD for this yo so, not sure how long these quick updates will be tbh. need to chill before i burn out but i already got the next 2 chapters done so we will see lol anyways, enjoy :) and glad y’all like it thus far!
{Chapter 2}
Anna doesn’t notice how jittery Elsa is the next morning.
How her hands shake ever so as she reads the papers before her, how she only managed to get through one document the entirety of Anna’s meal. The fact her plate still lays full, completely untouched.
What Anna does notice is that there seems to be a small bit of tension suspended in the air. She isn’t sure why or where it comes from, but it’s there. She can’t help but to look around the dining room, curious eyes roaming the space as though the answer will reveal itself.
It doesn’t though. She almost goes to ask her sister what may be wrong, but as she finishes her tea she decides to ignore it.
Not like she would get much of an answer anyways.
She thinks instead of finding time to write her response to K’s letter sometime this afternoon. Anna also doesn’t notice that as she leaves, Elsa watches her exit with pained eyes.
~.~
She’s lounging in the library, flipping through one of her favorite books, when there is a knock at the door.
Sitting sideways in her favorite chair, she leans her head all the way back in surprise, watching upside down as the door opens to reveal Kai.
Kai is Gerda’s husband and though he assists throughout the castle, he is more of Elsa’s right hand more than anything these days. Which means Anna rarely sees him.
He spies her in her seat, and she expects him to greet her with a small smile.
Instead, Kai looks almost reluctant.
“Princess,” Kai says, grabbing hold of his jacket as he speaks, “The Queen has requested your presence.”
Anna tilts her head to the side, completely confused.
“My sister wishes to speak with me?” She questions.
“Yes, your highness.” Kai says with a nod, “If you could, she requests you come at once.”
Anna can’t help but hesitate, just taking a moment to look at Kai from her upside down view. In the three years Elsa has been in position, she has yet to call her to her office.
Let alone speak to her at all in fact.
“Your highness, I must insist you make haste. It is an urgent matter.”
Anna’s eyes go wide. She wasn’t expecting that. Quickly, she moves to sit up, twisting out of the chair and makes her way to Kai.
Again, she is struck by the near grim look that rests on his face. There has only been a few times she’s seen him not smile at her. The few occurrences she’d manage to weasel into some sort of trouble, earning a ear full from not only him but Gerda as well.
Most notably, she’s seen that look three years before.
Anna can’t help the audible gulp as Kai turns to lead her to her sister’s office.
~.~
Not much has changed within her Papa’s office now that Elsa has made it her own. The dark purple wallpaper still goes along the walls, several paintings of past rulers scattered throughout the room. The bookcase sits full from top to bottom with books, ones Anna has never been allowed to touch. The windows are slightly open, the sun barely peeking through the heavy curtains.
The grand wooden desk in the middle of the room is the only thing to hint at any change. Anna distinctly remembers papers scattered everywhere, in some form of organization that only her Father knew. Organized chaos her mother had called it.
Now, every parchment has a place. There are organized stacks set to one side of the desk, on the other side sits separate trays not nearly as full. Some of Father’s trinkets still line the desk, but Anna can tell a few have been moved. Which ones, she isn’t sure, but she distinctly remembers a photo being placed somewhere that doesn’t seem to be there anymore.
Anna hesitates at the door, unsure of what to do as Elsa hasn’t even looked up from whatever it is she is diligently writing.
Kai directs her to one of the chairs in front of the desk, and Anna takes it.
She hears Kai leave, the close of the door and then it’s just them.
Anna can’t help but fidget slightly in the seat in nerves, the crackling of the fire behind her and scratch of quill on paper the only noise in the room. She hopes Elsa can’t hear the thundering of her heart as it beats in her chest.
As she waits, she notices a pair of eyes watching her on the back wall. There, still hanging formally as it had for years, is the painting of Papa.
He is holding the scepter and orb, crown sitting neatly on his head from when he was coronated as King. Anna bites her lip, the painting making her heart race even more. She realizes she only ever came in here when she was in trouble. Remembers feeling so small in the room with all the paintings seeming to glare at her for her mistakes. Silently chiding her from their places along the walls, her father’s portrait included. She looks back down to her sister wondering if that was the case now.
There is nothing she can think of that she has done...unless someone finally spotted her trips beyond the castle wall. She tries to think of an excuse, preparing mentally what she could say to define her actions when Elsa speaks,
“Sorry,” Elsa murmurs, never looking up, “One moment.”
Anna looks at her sister, still leaned over a parchment and writing across the paper. She sees her every morning and every other dinner, but this is the closest she has been to her in a long time.
So for this moment, trouble or not, she’s going to take her in.
Elsa looks much the same; hair twisted up in a fancy updo away from her eyes, a long sleeved dark green dress, dawned with a few purple flowers along the chest with gold lining the seems. A simple crocus pin sits at the top of her dress, right at the colar. Dark green gloves, as always, match the dress with small spots of ink on some of the tips.
Her brows are furrowed in concentration, but even from her seat Anna can see the dark circles under her sister’s eyes. Being Queen has taken a toll on Elsa in more ways than one it seems.
Anna nearly jumps when Elsa lets out a deep sigh, sitting back to look over what she has written. Her brows are still furrowed as she does, placing the quill back in its place without looking. There is a low hum of what seems to be approval, and then Elsa lays the document down.
Once again, she isn’t met with a smile as she had expected or hoped, but a slightly grim face. It’s Elsa’s eyes that make her squeeze her hands together tightly.
Her eyes are filled with the slightest bit of remorse.
“Anna, there is something I need to inform you on.”
Anna can only nod in understanding, her sister’s voice soft yet firm. Every bit the queen she was raised to be.
“A few weeks ago, we had a visitor from the Southern Isles. I’m sure your tutors have taught you where that is.”
Anna nods, remembering the visit only just. There had been a moment of excitement when there was mention of a guest, of the potential of meeting someone new. However, the excitement was dashed as quickly as it came. She had been instructed to avoid her sister’s side of the castle as not to intrude on the discussions. It had been an extremely lonely week, more than usual, as she took every meal alone in her room.
“As you know they sent one of their sons, Prince Richard, to assist in discussing more trade deals with us. Wanting to strengthen our relations as kingdoms.” Elsa leans back, places her hands on her lap, “A deal was successfully created. However, once returning, Prince Richard felt there was potential for a stronger...union.”
Union. The use of the word struck Anna as odd.
“Upon further conversations, we have come to an arrangement.” Elsa looks down at her hands then, the same look of grimace and remorse on her face.
“Arrangement?” Anna questions, heart pounding in her chest.
“Yes,” Elsa says without looking up, “It has been decided that it would be in our kingdom’s best interest to strengthen our relations by marriage.”
The silence that overcomes the room is deafening. Anna can only stare at her sister, her mouth slightly agape at what she has heard.
“Marriage?” She manages to whisper.
“Yes,” Elsa nods, clearing her throat and looking back up to her, “Marriage.”
“Who?..” Anna utters out.
“Prince Richard has discussed it with his father, King Augustus, and they’ve decided upon Prince Hans.” Elsa pauses, casting her eyes to her desk, “He is the youngest of the brothers, his lineage to the throne is unlikely though they think he would be a good match.”
This gives Anna pause. She looks away from Elsa, looking down as she thinks. “The youngest son?” Anna questions, “But, why would they want you to marry their youngest son? That doesn’t seem to make much sense.”
“Anna.” Elsa whispers.
It’s then, as she looks back into her sister's eyes, that it hits her.
No.
“I won’t be marrying him.”
No, please, no.
“You will.”
All the air in Anna’s lungs leaves at once as she just stares at her sister in complete disbelief.
“It has all been set. Prince Hans shall arrive here in a few weeks time to assist in arranging the wedding. The ceremony will be two months from now. You’ll have time to know him before, we agreed it would be best to make sure you both were somewhat comfortable with each other...”
“When?”
“Pardon?”
“When did you arrange this?”
Elsa looks at her, tilts her head to the side ever so, “Does it matter?”
Anna wants to scream, wants to yell at the top of her lungs yes, but she can only nod.
“We finalized the arrangement weeks ago, perhaps a month or so.”
Anna can’t sit anymore, she feels as though she may vomit, and stands. She turns slowly, going towards the fireplace, arms wrapped tightly around herself.
Her sister is still talking, discussing more details but she can’t hear her. Her ears are ringing too loud to even comprehend what other plans her sister and prince what's-his-face have arranged for her.
Tears slowly form in her eyes as she stares into the flames.
It’s then that it hits her all at once.
Married.
She is set to be married. Betrothed to a prince she’s never met nor heard of before, from some kingdom in a far off land. Without her say, without her feelings considered at all. She is just another chess piece on the board for them, a simple pawn in their dumb game.
Once again she is pushed to the side, pushed away completely to another kingdom now to be completely out of everyone’s way. She’d have to leave Arendelle, leave all she knew behind in favor of this arrangement.
Leave the fjord, the village and its people. No more stealing snacks from Gerda, sneaking past Kai to the kitchens. No more sneaking Sven carrots as she teases Kristoff on his visits. No more walks within the castle garden, no more enjoying the Northern Lights from the comfort of her bedroom window.
No more sneaking over the castle wall, no more walks within the forest.
No more oak tree.
No more letters.
No more K.
~.~
Don’t let them push you around. You are just as strong as they are, stronger in fact.
Show them how strong you can be.
~.~
“No.”
Anna doesn’t realize she has spoken till she hears her sister grow silent. There is a moment, then Elsa responds, “What?”
~.~
Your voice is just as important as anyone else's. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
~.~
Anna closes her eyes, straightening herself up as she turns back to her sister. Elsa is still sitting, looking at her confused. “I said, no.”
There is another pause, until Elsa huffs a laugh. “What do you mean no?”
“I mean just that.” Anna says, unfolding her arms as she lets them fall to her sides and form into fists. “No, I will not marry him.”
Elsa stands then, leaning on her desk, “It’s been set, deal is done.”
“Well, I say no, so the deal is off.”
“That’s not how it works, you get no say in this.”
“And why not?” Anna yells, surprising herself and her sister, Elsa jumping back at the tone, “It’s my life after all, why do I get no say in this?”
Elsa straightens herself to full height, the Queen now standing before Anna, “I make the decisions here, not you.” she says sternly.
“Yet you take no interest in asking my opinion in all this?”
“Why should I?”
“Because I’m your sister!!” Anna exclaims, face red as she yells. She is shaking now. All the hurt, anger and frustration from the last three years has finally reached its peak, “Whether you like it or not, I am. This is my future and my life. You can’t just decide it for me Elsa!”
“I can and I have.”
“That’s not fair!”
“Life is not fair, Anna. You should know that by now.”
Anna bulks as though she’s been slapped. The tears fall then, not out of sadness but out of pure anger. How dare she, how dare she suggest such a thing. Like she even knew half the things she has been through.
~.~
I know it doesn’t seem like it, but there is more to life than this pain. I promise you.
As my Ma says, ‘this pain will pass and when it does, you will be stronger.’
And you will A, I swear it.
~.~
She hesitates for only a moment, but she thinks of K, of his letters, of their potential meeting, “Life may not be fair, as you say, but I know I deserve love as much as anyone else, not some arranged betrothal to someone I’ve never met.”
“And what do you know about love, Anna?” Elsa says, jaw set, “You’ve lived in this castle your whole life just like me. How could you possibly know what love is?”
“I used to, back when we were a family.” Anna says, glaring at her, “At least I thought I did, but it seems you’ve forgotten we are one, dear sister.”
Elsa glares at her then, “I’m the Queen Anna, I can not go running around doing whatever I want all day like you can.”
“Queen or not, you at least can talk to me.” Anna pleads, stepping towards her, “You could at least manage a conversation with your own sister during breakfast.”
“I have lots to do Anna, I don’t have time--”
“Papa had time.”
Elsa freezes then, mouth agape.
~.~
It drives me mad, K. How she will sit, buried in her work, ignoring me as though I am not there. There is not a single excuse for it. My Father was in her same position and managed to balance it just fine. So, it’s completely possible and yet, she chooses to ignore me in favor of her duties. Pushing me aside like I’m nothing.
Tell her. Tell her how you feel. Tell her how you feel completely ignored, pushed to the side for no reason.
You need to tell her, get it off your chest so it doesn’t weigh on you anymore.
~.~
Anna grits her teeth, stepping again towards her sister as she sees the Queenly mask begin to crack, “Papa always had time to come to dinner. If not dinner, then breakfast. He always tried to be there for us. He didn’t shut everyone else like you did. You choose to just push me aside like I’m nothing, ignore me as if I’m a servant not good enough to speak to when I’m your sister.”
She pauses then, trying to catch her breath as she wipes the tears from her cheeks. Anna struck a chord, for both of them really, but it was the truth. As she steadies herself, the anger dissipates and is replaced with pain and sadness.
“All I’ve ever wanted,” Anna says, barely above a whisper, “was my sister. Since the day they died, I just wanted you there. I wanted to talk to you, to be there with you, but you shut me out. You left me alone, I…” Anna pauses then, a sob escaping, “I buried them both on my own Elsa. I stood there alone, in front of everyone, while you stayed in the castle. I thought you just needed time, needed space to heal but, it’s been years. Years.”
She risks looking at her then, sees that Elsa is still standing behind the desk clutching her hands to her chest. The mask has completely crumbled now as Elsa looks at her with nothing but sadness.
“Please,” Anna pleads, “I can’t live like this anymore. I just want my sister. Please, just this once.”
There is a moment, one tiny moment when Anna thinks maybe she has made it through to her. She catches what she thinks to be a tear before her sister looks to the floor.
Anna watches, clinging to that small sliver of hope, as she waits. Her nails are digging into her palm, her heart still pounding in her chest.
She doesn’t care what happens from here, Elsa could never speak to her again for all she cared. All she wanted was this, was her bit of freedom. To have the chance to have her own life at her own choosing. More importantly, to have a chance with K. More than anything she will fight at a chance for that, for him, for them.
She almost goes to speak, but then her sister sighs.
Anna watches Elsa as she takes her seat, but instead of leaning forward onto the desk or even back against the chair, she sits straight up. She sits as she does at breakfast, completely regal and formal. As Elsa looks back at her, her tiny bit of hope evaporates.
Once more, the Queen of Arendelle sits before her.
“I have made my decision and it is final. You shall marry Prince Hans in two months time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there is work to be done.”
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Match up duo (◠‿◠✿)
if it’s not bothering you i want to request a matchups for ikevamp. i’m not sure if it’s okay to just sent my photos alone but i’ll gave you a short description of myself.
i’m very very short (4'9"). i’m asian and have long black hair. i usually like to wear comfortable clothes but i’m also into goth and pastel.
for my personalities i’m an aquarius, infp-t, i like writing stories/drawing. i like rock/metal music, i like travelling and nature but i don’t mind being inside a lot. i’m a sweet tooth too. mostly i like things that are unique, that not many people know about it.
i consider myself open minded, adventurous, i like to learn new things, i value my freedom. i don’t easily get along with new people but i can be the most talkative person if i knew them well enough. sorry if it’s too long, thank you so much.. i love your blog
Hi, love thank you so much for the request! @blue-imagica No way its never a bother I love doing these requests (◕ω◕✿) I’m so sorry it took me 2 million years to get this to ya! Also, I apologise in advance if it sucks hehe I decided to try my hand at the ikevamp match up in honour of best boi Isaacs route dropping lol Thanx so much for being so sweet I’m super glad you have been enjoying my writing
(/‿\✿) ❤🔥
Anyways...... hope you have a wonderful day dear and I hope you enjoy it, love! ❤🌼
So I match you with.......................... Vincent
Selfie match up part
The first time this boy sees you he is completely captivated
You remind him of the summer, so bright, pure and innocent
He can’t tear his eyes away from you or, your jet black hair, its unparalleled dimension and the way it naturally flowed in the wind catching the rays of sun and shining
Your dark hair is so thick and shiny, and he is inspired by the way it cascades down your delicate soft skin like waves of midnight on a sandy beach
He is utterly and entirely inspired by you, and he wishes nothing more than go up to his art studio and paint you
All he wanted to do was paint those dark eyes of your, those eyes reflecting the deepest shades of the earth, shining with so much love and warmth.
And oh how easy it is for him to get lost in the universe of your eyes, he loves the way they sparkle and shine, lighting up with a thousand stars when you introduce yourself to him.
If Vincent had to describe you as something it would be an angel, the way you extrude warmth and love, and all he wanted to do was get to know you.
He could easily envision himself with you, the two of you laughing and cuddled up together under the shade of a tree in the midst of a flower field.
Matchup part
You wandered through the mansion aimlessly thinking it was still part of the museum. You found yourself walking into the most beautiful art studio. You looked around and hung on the wall was a painting you knew all too well. Starry Night, you loved that painting, TBH you loved it so much it was actually your phone’s wallpaper at some point. As you continued to admire the paintings that filled the room, a young man with soft blond hair and ocean blue eyes walked through the door. You were awestruck, he was absolutely beautiful, you wondered if you had died and gone to heaven. Your face flushed, as you were rather shy and didn’t do too well with new people. It definitely didn’t help that he was staring at you with stars in his eyes.
Finally, the young artist broke the silence “Oooh I’m terribly sorry for staring, how rude of me, my name is Vincent.” You gave a small smile, how ironic was it that his name was Vincent, he certainly had the same painting style as Thee Vincent van Gogh. You gave a small introduction, and before the two of you could chat, Sabatian burst through the door. He looked at you in shock and disbelief “You, Miss, how did you get in here”, you stared at the butler in confusion “Through the big wooded door, wait isn’t this part of the museum.” With that, Sabastian grabbed your wrist and escorted you to Comte’s room.
Le Comte explained your current situation very calmly over snacks and tea. You were shook, not only did you go back in time, but you were now roommates with the worlds most historical figures and to top it all off they were vampires! You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or scream. You low key though all of this was a dream that is until, Arthur almost bit you when you went to get a glass of water. Luckily for you, Vincent appeared just in time to save you. “Arthur, what do you think you are doing? You mustn’t scare her like that, it’s quite rude,” before Arthur could defend himself or spit out a flirty comment Vincent gently grabbed your hand and lead you away to his room “I’m terribly sorry for Arthur’s rude behaviour, he is super nice once you get to know him.”
You were honestly so spooked and freaked out, that you felt uneasy sleeping in a house full of vampires, especially after one just tried to bite you. As if reading your thoughts Vincent gave you the most angelic smile and asked “Would you like me to stay with you and guard you tonight? I was planning on staying up and painting anyways” You gave a small nod, you were already starting to drift off to sleep, from the long day full of surprises.
You woke up the next day to Vincent’s sunshine smile and honesty you wouldn’t mind waking up to that beautiful smile every day. It was so bright and warm and seemed to melt away all your troubles. You and Vincent made your way downstairs for breakfast. To say Vincent was overjoyed when he found out you were a fellow sweet tooth would be an understatement! It was something the two of you bonded over, and it actually brought you out of your shell a bit. Since that day Vincent would take you to all his favourite cafes to treat you to all sorts of sweet treats.
As the two of you ate your delicious dessert, you found yourself opening up more and more to the painter. The two of you would literally talk each other’s ears off for hours and hours. By the time the two of you made your way home from a day out in the town the sun was already setting
You loved to draw and sketch, and when Vincent discovered this fact, he was overjoyed. One night as the two of you were sitting and sipping on tea together, he spotted your sketchbook laying on the table, and his eyes lit up in delight at your beautiful sketches. As he continued to page, you remembered that you had sketched him paining one day and before you could reach to stop him from paging through your book, he spotted at the exact sketch you didn't want him to see. Your face went red in the sweetest of blushes. You keenly eyed Vincent as he traced his fingers over the sketch, he was completely awestruck. He turned to give you the biggest brightest smile, you definitely didn’t miss the faint blush on his cheeks
Honestly, the two of you had long ago fallen madly in love with the other.
Vincent was determined to make his feelings known one day. The two of you often walked together through nature in search of the perfect scene to paint and draw. The two of you had recently come across a vast, beautiful flower field. It had become somewhat a tradition for the two of you to once a week have a picnic in the field and just enjoy the quiet, peaceful scenery. Often the two of you would lay on the blankie and look up at the sky, cloud watching. One day as the two of you were laying beside each other watching the clouds, Vincents hand gently bumped yours. You smiled and bumped his hand back. He then slowly moved his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours. Both of you turned your heads to look at each other. “I have something I need to tell you” Vincent had a slight blush forming on his face as he beamed up at you “ik hou van jou.” As the phrase left his mouth, he turned away in embarrassment, you sat up and tugged at his hand, you gave him the biggest brightest smile as your other hand moved to cup his cheek “I love you too Vincent”. The two of you then gravitated to meet in the sweetest of kisses. That afternoon the two of you cuties walked back home together hand in hand. You were going to ask Comte of you could stay in the past indefinitely.
The two of you angels made the cutest couple. Often the two of you could be found spending hours and hours together. Vincent would paint, and you would draw. Your favourite was travelling with the young artist. You loved to travel with Vincent and go to all sorts of art exhibitions that would showcase his beautiful paintings. After, the two of you would always wander around hand in hand, on the hunt for a café selling sweet treats. After both of you stuffed your faces with confectioneries, you would walk it off, by wandering around the park/nature together. As the two of you walked Vincent would occasionally lift your hand that he was holding to his lips and kiss the back of it, just to give you a small reminder of how much he loves you.
In fact, this boy absolutely adores you and will 100% drop small little kisses on your temples, forehead, nose and cheeks. Vincent’s all-time favourite is to just rest his head on your lap after a long day of fun and adventures, learning new things together and having fun new experiences. He loves it when you pull your fingers through his golden locks and read your newest piece of writing to him. He absolutely loves to listen to your short stories and poems. Sometimes as he rests on your lap, his mind drifts back to the first day you met, and he thinks it must have been fate, for you to have not only wandered through the door into the mansion, but also for him to have found you in his art studio. Like the universe itself sending him his very own angel to love and to hold for all eternity
Other potential matches................. Theo
I hope you enjoyed this love and i hope you have the best day ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀🌈🔥
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Courtney’s Crisis Writing Challenge
So yeah as I’m sure all of you are aware of by now I’m having a crisis
and I figured what better way to deal with an emotional crisis than to do a writing challenge and read all the wonderful thing’s y’all can write to distract myself from my ever-growing list of responsibilities
maybe i should change it to Courtney’s Procrastination and Existential Worry Writing Challenge instead
ANYWAY
This is a whole-ass mega writing challenge, going across ALL the people I’ve ever written for and all the people I lowkey want to write for/kinda have a current obsession/love for atm
I’ll give a full comprehensive list below the rules
But yeah this is going to have an English Literature theme bc I’m a nerd like that and have been reading too many books lately, again, to distract myself
So the prompts are split into three categories - “The Heartbreakingly Beautiful”, “The Hilariously Relateable” and “Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff”
yeah the categories are just what went through my mind when I read the things these authors wrote
The Rules
1) You don’t have to be following me but it would be nice because I’m lonely and want friends plz
2) If your piece of writing is over 500 words, please use the ‘read more’ feature
3) Reblog this post to get the word out (and tag anyone who may be interested!)
4) It’s going to be one person per prompt but if needed I can add more prompts
5) Smut is fine but please leave warnings as appropriate (THOUGH NO UNDERAGE CHARACTER SMUT THANKS)
6) On the back of that one, no inappropriate pairings pleaseeeeee
7) Also please make sure you leave appropriate warnings at the beginnings of fics if any sensitive subjects are brought up (e.g. mental health etc)
8) Ships and OC’s are welcome
9) Tag me in your writing! - on any of my blogs or all three if you’re keen whoooo
10) Use the hashtag #CourtsCrisisWC
11) If you want to enter send me an ask with the prompt you want and the pairing you’ll be writing it with - again the ask can be sent to either of my writing blogs
12) The deadline for this is 15th December (this can be extended if y’all need it)
Characters/People/Pairings
Okay so imma split this section into parts real quick
Main Blog
1) Pretty much anyone from the MCU is welcome - with the exception of Tony Stark and Clint Barton
2) Tom Holland & Harrison Osterfield and HOCO cast and the Holland boys (NOT PADDY)
3) Any of Les Amis
4) The characters from Peaky Blinders as well
5) Poly ships (e.g. Steve x Reader x Bucky or Tom x Reader x Harrison)
Side Blog
1) Ben Hardy (+ Warren Worthington)
2) Joe Mazzello (+ Eugene Sledge, Gardner Langway, Pat Murray, Dr Tim Murphy)
3) Gwilym Lee (+ Charlie Nelson)
4) (BoRhap!)Queen members (Freddie only platonically)
5) Roger x Reader x Ben
6) Joe x Reader x Ben
7) The Hargreeves Children (older!Five only)
8) Richard Madden (+ David Budd, Robb Stark, Prince Kit)
9) Taron Egerton (+ Eggsy)
10) Rocketman!Bernie Taupin and Ray Williams
11) Smosh Members
12) Jake Gyllenhaal (+ all his various characters)
13) Chris Evans (+ Ari Levinson, Frank Adler)
Just For Funsies (i.e. current obsessions I don’t officially write for but lowkey want to)
1) Ashton Irwin
2) Calum Hood
3) Sebastian Stan (+ Chris Beck)
tbh y’all can just send me a person and I’ll let you know if I’m cool with you writing for them but judging by this list I think you can rest fairly assured that I’m going to be okay with whoever you want to write for
Prompts
The Heartbreakingly Beautiful
“I have measured out my life in coffee spoons” - The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S Eliot // the most beautiful and wonderful poem ever written don’t fight me on this // ( @writingsoftheloser w/ BLANK)
“I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much less who anyone else is” - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do you start missing everybody” - The Catcher In The Rye by J.D Salinger ( @takenbyheartstrings w/ Peter Parker)
“I should have made it as hard for you to leave me as it is now for me to leave you” - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë ( @bensakindofmagic w/ Ben Hardy)
"The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind." - Love Letters To The Dead by Ava Dellaira ( @petersfreckles w/ Peter Parker)
“You never forget the face of the person that is your last hope” - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins ( @tom-holland-stuff w/ BLANK)
“Hope may be the thing that pulls you forward (may be the thing that keeps you going) but that it’s painful and dangerous and risky it’s making a dare to the world and when has the world ever let us win a dare?” - The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness
“We can't fight another person's battle, no matter how much we want to.” - Holding Up The Universe by Jenifer Niven
“I'm sure I never used to be so sensitive. I think it is due to this nervous condition.” - The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
“Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.” - Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
The Hilariously and Painfully Relatable
“As far as I'm concerned, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain.” - Solitaire by Alice Oseman
“Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." - East of Eden by John Steinbeck ( @queen-paladin w/ Joe/Eugene/Charlie/Les Amis boy)
"We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered." - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard ( @lilulo-12 w/ Bucky)
"It's just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's the universe's way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It's how life is." - The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen ( @sataninsatin w/ Detective Loki)
“It was books that made me feel that I was not completely alone” - The Night Circus by Erin Mogenstern
“Was there some kind of rule against drop kicking arseholes in the face? Probably. They always had rules against things that needed to be done” - Made You Up by Francesca Zappia
“I would challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed” - Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare ( @icantspellanything w/ Poe Dameron)
“Some people are born with an ear for music, some people are born with a talent for drawing, some people...have a built-in radar that tells them where a comma needs to go in a sentence.” - Our Chemical Hearts by Krystal Sutherland
“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” I Am The Messenger by Marcus Zusak
Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff
“You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you” - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin ( @mavalenovaninagavi w/ Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker)
“I love her, and that’s the beginning and end of everything” - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Flitzgerald ( @angiefangirlworld-2 w/ Ben Hardy)
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë ( @fichoe21 w/ Bucky)
"The curves of your lips rewrite history." - Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde ( @sarahp879 w/ Bucky)
"[BLANK] was right. [They] never looked nice. [They] looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something." - Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell ( @writing-of-a-british-bitch w/ Eggsy/Warren)
“Here’s my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
“Love is worth everything. Everything.” - Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon
“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.” - Great Expectations by Charles Dickens ( @natdoesthings w/ Jake Gyllenhaal)
“I just want you to know that you’re very special and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chebowsky ( @d-is-for-delightfull w/ Enjolras)
“Don’t you understand? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!” - Peter Pan by J.M Barrie
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Survey #269
“why aren’t you scared of me, why do you care for me, when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual.
What are you obsessed with right now? lol y'all know my staple stuff I'm always obsessed with, so two recent ones are Skillet (I've been binging soooo hard) and drawing again!
What piercings do you want? A lot, jfc. More than any, I want collarbone dermals once I lose enough weight to where they're prominent. I've been on a goddamn weight loss plateau for two years.
What’s your favorite show to binge? None. I generally don't enjoy binging too much.
Do you watch porn? No, not interested.
Do you have a secret sideblog? lol this survey blog.
Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? No. I very briefly considered getting one pierced, but I won't.
Are you angry with anyone right now? Not like... actively. But passively it's there.
What tattoos do you want? I refuse to die until I'm P A I N T E D F O R T H E G O D S.
Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Absolutely paperback books. It feels more "real," something to dive into, and it's easier to see and understand how far you're in. We talked about this in Writing once, was an interesting convo. Plus the smell of books, aaaaaahhhhh.
Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yes
How many followers do you have? On here? *checks* 265.
Do you read erotica? No, I'd feel SUPER uncomfortable. That's why 50 Shades has never appealed to me.
Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No.
Ever thought of just picking up and moving far away? Oh yes.
What’s the wallpaper on your computer? My lock screen is the Halo of the Sun from SH, and my actual desktop wallpaper is my favorite closeup of my late pup Teddy.
What is the last thing/person you took a picture of? Probably a stupid Facebook meme to show Sara or something lmao.
Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. Otep.
Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm sure I could.
What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? Mom had a blue/greenish van for most of my childhood, while Dad had this old tan thing that he nicknamed "Frida the Cheetah" lmao. He had that damn car forever.
Have you ever seen counterfeit money? Not knowingly.
Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to? Well of course. I grew up with tons of pets.
What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Probably texting back "fuck you" to Mom when she was being really shitty when I was having a breakdown.
Pick one: laundry, dishes, or vacuuming? I'd pick vacuuming over the others any day.
Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No.
You are forced to move out-of-state. Where do you go? I literally want to move to Canada.
The highway and back roads take you to the same place; choose your route. Back roads, probably.
You’re going to be a mom/dad; what do you think/do? Have a fucking panic attack.
Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It really depends on the seriousness of the situation, but in most cases I've actually faced, give up.
Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so.
Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; do you give them one of yours? If we're compatible, yes.
Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. Nothing because my life is incredibly monotonous and stagnant.
Name one difficult lesson you’ve learned. Life isn't fair, and life doesn't care.
Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hey, let's hope I can be a functioning adult before I'm 70.
Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yes.
Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? Yeah.
Does stress ever affect you physically? If yes, how? Oh, yes. My stomach will absolutely hurt and I sweat more than normal (I say "normal" because I have hyperhidrosis).
Did you have a money box as a kid? What shape was it if you did? I don't remember... I know we didn't regularly get an allowance or anything like that, but maybe I'm sure I stored money I was given somewhere?
Has kids TV ever frightened you? As a kid, I both watched and feared Courage the Cowardly Dog, lol.
Do you have any potted plants in your house? No.
If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why? Early '80s! What a time for music, metal fashion, and fun.
If you ran a store, what would you sell/have? IF I was more knowledgeable on more species, probably reptiles and more proper care materials and give advice that's not shit. Places like PetSmart and Petco just... disgust me.
What part in a movie would you love to play? If I was confident in acting, probably the maniac lmao. I've experienced enough Crazy for that.
What's the oldest article of clothing you own? I don't really know, but I do know Mom has a lot of my and my siblings' shirts as we've grown up to knit together a blanket one day. Fuckin cute as hell.
What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch.
What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at? Guitar, with that electric twist anyway.
What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba roars atop Pride Rock in the storm and all the lionesses join in FUCK I get goosebumps out the WAZOO.
What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Twizzlers, disgoosting.
If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be? LGBTQ+ rights is #1, then... hm... probably the pro-choice argument. Or just women rights in general.
Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? Oh man, my friend Mini. She drew pretty well when we were young, but her skill like... increased exponentially with time. She doesn't draw in a *style* I'm envious of, but that growth tho.
Most jealous of….intellectually? Girt.
What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? My brain lmao.
A famous person you have met? Nobody.
Who were the last five people to text you? Dad, Sara, Ashley, Mom, and my grandma.
What is your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders.
Think of the last two people you kissed. Who was more fun? I've explained the "idk if *I* ever actually kissed Girt" before, but just for the sake of the question, I'll just count him. I tbh hated it only ever because why were your lips always wet, sir???? The latest person was Sara, and she kissed fine.
If your house was burning down and you only had sixty seconds to grab one or two things, what would you grab and why? Roman and Venus because they're family and I adore them.
Out of all the concerts you have been to, which band/singer was the best performer? Alice was great!
When was the last time you went miniature golfing? For Jason's and my second or third anniversary, so a long time ago.
What’s a song you like from a genre you hate? I always answer this question with a country answer, so let's go rap. Hm. OH, probably a Post Malone song. I actually don't mind him.
If you had twin girls what would you name them? Alessandra indisputably, and then the other... maybe like, Josephine. Especially as twins, I'd want two gorgeous, less-heard names.
What kind of condoms do you use? I don't use any because I'm not sexually active.
Do you say years young or years old [ex: 16 years young or 16 years old]? Man, I miss the days I could confidently say "years young," lmao.
Do you have any personality disorders? Avoidant, yes. I'm pretty convinced I have dependent PD, too.
Do you shave your arms? Armpits, yes, but not my entire arms.
What do you dip your fries in? Ketchup or honey mustard.
Has one of your good friends ever moved away? Damn, yeah. I particularly remember this girl from elementary school in I think the 5th grade that I was very close with, yet I don't remember her name now.
What color car are you when you play The Game of Life? Dude idr the colors at all.
Which hair color do you find the ugliest? I've seen it be pulled off, but generally, yellow.
Would you date a guy that wears more make-up than you do? Hell yeah man you fuckin strut that shit.
Did you ever play M.A.S.H. when you were little? Ah, I remember that! Sure did.
If you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor? My mom.
If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No, but I would of course.
Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not any more than the average person.
Do you chew gum on a regular basis? No.
List all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: Do you mean just physical? If that's the case, hair, eyes, smile, uh... I feel like that's it. WAIT I can't remember who but someone once called my nose cute.
Have you ever been in a hot air balloon, and if not, would you ever want to go in one? No; yes.
What type of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro 5.
Is anyone else in the room with you right now? My snake.
Do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? Not Crest, but a different brand, yes. I hate my teeth.
Do you listen to local bands? Not really. I will sometimes listen to an old friend's band, at least bits of what they post on Facebook. Nova Mortis, check 'em out if you like pretty heavy metal.
Do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but damn do I wish.
Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? That's why they're divorced. They, especially Mom, avoid doing so whenever they can.
Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually.
Do you wear rings? Just one, a friendship ring w/ Sara.
Are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? It'd be quite a long walk, at least by my standards.
What was the last picture you uploaded to your Facebook? A picture of Mom and me.
Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? YES. When I find a song I really like, I become VERY obsessive. Like I will play it and play it and play it for days. I in general have an extremely obsessive personality.
Do you like staying in hotels? I don't have much of an opinion. It's a nice change of space, though.
Are musicals interesting or boring? They're cheesy to me.
What is your favorite scent of incense? (If you burn it) Okay, HEAR ME OUT. There is legit a kind called "monkey farts" that smells SO FUCKIN GOOD. Jason used to burn incense in his room all the time and that was my favorite one, so I use it now.
Where do you normally hang out on the weekends? At home. I'm always at home, regardless of the day.
Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? I never could.
Do you like love songs? Generally, yes. They're sweet.
Would you rather drink 7Up or Sprite? Fun fact: Sprite used to be my FAVORITE soda as a kid. I even had a fuckin Sprite shirt. Now, I hate it. I haven't tasted 7UP in forever.
What is your favorite song as of right now? I'm seriously digging Halocene lately, esp their cover of "bury a friend."
Have you ever sex texted? This is gonna sound so stupid, but I'm actually not *totally* sure what that is? Just like, dirty talking or like, virtually RPing sex? The former I did when I was fuckin 12 like a goddamn idiot, but not the latter.
When's the last time you went out of state? A year and a half (I think?) ago to visit Sara.
What was your favorite TV show last year? I didn't *really* have one, at least not actively. Like I didn't devoutly watch anything.
Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? HAHA I sureeeee do. I wouldn't want any, though.
What is your favorite Beatles song? "Hey, Jude."
If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? I don't want to think about this.
What is your favorite energy drink? I don't like energy drinks. Way too intense.
Have you ever been to Hooters before? No.
When's the last time you tripped? (Literally or, you know) HA, funny I take this survey today because my left foot is either broken or I seriously tore a ligament in it because I fell yesterday. I had to go up a dose on my medication that helps my nightmares, but it's notoriously for lowering your blood pressure, and mine is naturally low. I got up to go to the bathroom and grab breakfast and many times nearly passed out from being so dizzy until I finally fell and my foot bent forward. I couldn't even walk by myself yesterday and am still really struggling today. Our family friend brought the boot she wore when she broke her foot over just a while ago, but if this doesn't help, Mom's demanding I go to the ER.
Can you touch your toes? I don't know HOW I can, but I can, I guess from when I did yoga daily and I could pretty much go under my feet.
What would you say is the best feeling in the world? Being in love and knowing they're in love with you, too.
Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No.
Do you like croissants? YESSSSSSSSSSS.
Do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? Yes. Mom explained to me why one day because I'd asked, but idr what she said.
Do you eat cereal bars? No, I'm a granola bar person.
Would you consider yourself healthy? Uh no.
Assuming you could speak and understand the language, would you ever study in a foreign, non-English speaking country? Sure, for like a year or so! Doing that in Germany would be amazing.
Are you on any prescribed medication? A lot.
Do you know any immigrants? I know an illegal one that got deported. I probably know others.
Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No.
If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? Very scared. I'm just very dependent and ignorant on how to be an adult.
If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli.
Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, shampoo, facial scrub, this exfoliating brush for your feet, and then body wash.
Is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? Hm. I don't really know.
What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? I took the SMALLEST bite out of it because I couldn't stomach eating it, but after a lot of convincing I tried a microscopic bit out of deer jerky.
If you smoke, what brand of cigarettes do you smoke? If you don’t, have you ever tried? Don't smoke and don't want to.
Do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
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wow. hello everyone! i cant believe i really get to say this, but i just hit 3,500 followers. w o w. i've been making ateez gifs for exactly 3 months now and in those 3 short months i have gained over 500 followers, bringing me to an amount i am totally undeserving of. i honestly have no idea how this happened but i am so grateful for each and every one of you
i didnt know what i should do to celebrate this amazing milestone. i considered opening requests for gifs or moodboards, maybe even start taking requests for the amazing writing skills i've developed recently. that might still happen (and would probably be for mutuals only i'm afraid) but for now i want to just give a shout out to my amazing mutuals who make being here worth it. its gonna get loooong so its under the cut
thank you all so much for this, i love you all
here we gooo....
@cryiingemoji if i said everything i want to say to you here, it would take up this entire post. luckily you already know it all because its been 700 years lol. speak to you soon, ily 💚
@sooncheolie i’ve said it a thousand times in the what, 3 years we’ve been friends? but you are one of my closest friends on here, and i’d like to think that if we knew each other in the real world we would be basically best friends. you’re amazing and i’m so glad we stumbled into each other’s lives back when we were just imhobi and jinjackson. you got me into seventeen and taught me all their names, now i just have to get you into ateez... ily 💚
@mauloveskpop miss mau, anyone that is lucky enough to call you a friend is truly blessed. we’ve known each other for years and i’ve loved every damn second of it. you’re amazing and so hard working, a real treasure. i’ve discovered a lot of groups through you and learned how to gif by watching you grow, ily 💚
@1oonar my daughter... you’ve been gone for over a month now but i still think about you every day. i hope you are well and i will be here waiting when you get back, ily 💚
@whiteconfession laura, honestly, i’d be lost without you. you’re an absolute riot to talk to, every time i see your name come up in my dm’s i know i’m about to lol in real life. i’m so proud of you for all your achievements, not that i ever had any doubts. and its not that long until sungyeol returns woo! ily 💚
@visualsan i dont know that i’d be writing all of this right now if it wasnt for you and your sister, i think its all down to you two that the amount of atinys that follow me are following me. i remember being really scared to talk to you at first because i’d admired your blog for a while and i actually freaked out a little when you followed me. i’m so glad we became friends, you’re so wonderful, ily 💚
@smol-joong like i said to bea, i wouldnt be able to write a 3.5k follower post if it hadnt been for you. you told people to follow me and then everything just blew up. you did that for me, i cannot thank you enough. you’re very special to me and i’d take a bullet for you (or take a buffet for you as my sister would say...). ily 💚
@prettyseonghwa wow, where do i start with you miss yasmin? you are an actual angel. i dont know what i did to deserve you but i’m so thankful for you. you’ve been there to talk me through some rough times and you handle everything with such maturity. you’re so thoughtful and caring, even when you’re struggling yourself. i wish i could do for you what you have done for me. ily 💚
@softmingis wonderful miss luna. you were one of the people i was most intimidated by when i first became part of atinyblr. no matter what you say, to me you are a big account and i was scared to approach you. but look at us now! you’re one of my favourite people here and i love talking to you. i’m so happy you came back, ily 💚
@doorootu res, i’m so happy to have met you. your finals are almost over and i’m so proud of you! soon you will be all over my dash again and i cannot wait! ily 💚
@omg-gyu i’ve missed you while you’ve been away taking your exams, i hope everything is going well for you. i was honoured to be the one you asked for advice when getting into ateez, i hope you’ve been enjoying this comeback, ily 💚
@honeyboysan jules, i admire you so much. your love of all things nature is so pure and wholesome and its a joy to see. you’re so thoughtful towards other people’s feelings and weird phobias. allowing myself and your followers to share your nb journey is inspiring, i wish you nothing but happiness, ily 💚
@cherryjoong honestly maggie, you’re some kind of chaotic good, you’re the human embodiment of your ateez crack moodboards, so much fun and i love interacting with you. also you and jules are so EFFIN cute i cannot handle it. ily 💚
@moonctzen you’re so much fun and you’re taeil biased so that automatically means you’re awesome. i know we dont interact that much but i thoroughly enjoy seeing you on my dash. ily 💚
@moonitaeil we dont interact much but your posts on my dash brighten my day. i’m glad we share a love of taeil, ily 💚
@127-mile emilie, you’re a very talented writer and you bring so much joy to so many people with your au’s. i hope you continue to write and grow for many many years, ily 💚
@softforyunho it says it right there in your url, you are the softest. so lovable and seeing you share your love for yunho is heartwarming. ily 💚
@jaehyunay you are hilarious, i love talking to you and seeing all of your lovely wallpapers that you make. keep up the good work! ily 💚
@meinyunho natali you’re so lovely. watching your adventures in gif making has been a pleasure. you’re doing so well and i hope you continue. you’re doing so well, i’m proud of you, ily 💚
@honeyjoongie elli, you’ve been gone for so long but its like you’re still here because of the amazing queue you set up. its so thoughtful and you’ve really made everyone so happy with the posts you’ve tagged them in. you even remembered who my stray kids bias is, you’re so powerful and you dont even realise it. everyone is so excited for you to come back, including me. i hope your exams went well, ily 💚
@missminji miss harleigh. you are another person i was quite intimidated by when i first got into the fandom, but looking back i have no idea why. you’re wonderful and totally deserve to see your bias yuto when you go to see pentagon. ily 💚
@wooyuong inna inna inna... you are the one i was the most intimidated by. literally everyone i know already knew you, even people not in atinyblr knew you and i once posted that i wanted to be friends with you and then immediately deleted the post because i was scared you’d see it. but it turns out you’re not scary, you’re infact very cute and adorable and lovable and i might adopt you. ily 💚
@choisansbitch we dont know each other very well, but maybe that will change one day. you are chaotic, but sometimes we all need a little chaos in our lives. you’re fun, i like it. ily 💚
@dearmingi you are someone i would like to get to know better because i dont think we know each other too well just yet. that being said, i do love seeing you on my dash. lets talk more, ily 💚
@sonqmingi definitely was intimidated by you at first and tbh still am a little and i dont know why. you’re awesome though and i’d love to get to know you more, ily 💚
@soulofatiny an angel in disguise. you are so wonderful and kind and caring and i wish there were more people like you in the world. it would be a much kinder place is there were. ily 💚
@woovoung another little bit of much needed chaos on my dash. we dont really know each other that well, but you’re definitely fun. ily 💚
@multidino sometimes i feel like i can actually hear your posts. you’re always there and always first to interact when i say i’m bored for which i’m always grateful. ily 💚
@jonghostation i was a little intimidated by you at first because even before i followed you you were always all over my dash interacting with everyone. i hope we can become friends, ily 💚
@celestial-yunho the last of the people i was most intimidated by. you have such a big presence within the fandom that i didnt think you’d even notice if i followed you. i’d love to get to know you more! ily 💚
@kqyvnho we’ve been mutuals for 2 whole days but i didnt want to leave you out! i hope we can become friends! ily 💚
so there we go! thank you all so much for everything 💚💚💚
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Don't read unless you have watched the new episode. But the whole time I watched it I was thinking how it pretty wild that your comic and the episode are basically the same.
OK I HAVE FINALLY WATCHED THE EPISODE AND BOY WHOO HOO HOWDY I’M GONNA INCLUDE MY THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I KNOW A FEW OTHERS HAVE YET TO SEE IT AS WELL AND I DON’T WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING BUT WHOO LETS GO BABES
SO first off I’m just gonna say that I LOVED the episode. Really and truly honestly I did. I don’t think there were any major things that I didn’t like tbh. It was such a truthfully wholesome episode. And I’m actually happy with the amount of screen time we got with Scrooge and his insight with Christmas.
HOWEVER. I wish it was a 45-minute special. Because I think we could have absolutely dived MUCH deeper into the relationship between 1) Younger Donald and Dewey and 2) (the most important) DONALD AND DELLA. I mean like HOLY SHIT. I have to collect my thoughts together really quick cause I’m gonna explode just going on about the sibling relationship going on there so let me backtrack really quick and start from the beginning.
First and foremost. The set up to the episode was great. The kids getting ready for Christmas. Webby’s little hug to Huey and Huey’s patient little smile back to her. Louie’s X-mas list and his “let me explain”, like yes my son, own it. Donald being his best dad self, decorating and STILL playing guitar and singing awful carols at the top of his lungs like, we stan a good good duck dad!!! Literally, everyone is top notch just being great!
Then we get to plot. The ghosts are back in town. And they’re ready to get down and dirty and party and I LIVE for the idea that they were originally looking for a different Scrooge and that OUR Scrooge actually LOVES Christmas (And I’m so glad that we still don’t know why Scrooge has beef with Santa cause like, that’s potential for future X-Mas episodes and I’m all about having more mysteries to look forward to alright?) So we get it. Party on Scrooge lets go back in time!!!
So we’re 12 minutes in, more Scrooge stuff happens (Which I adore. Love that they brought back Goldy. Love that Young Scrooge is so passive about seeing Old Scrooge. LOVE that BEAKLY fucking FLIRTS with the GRIM REAPER SKJD;S GET IT GIRL LOVE THAT) And super double plot twist is that little jimmy cricket over here is actually like, kinda evil? Well not evil, but he’s a little-twisted buddy, which isn’t his fault, but he just wants to party and feels like everyone abandons him when once they find the true meaning of Christmas (being with family) Which Scrooge does. Which also, can we appreciate how fast it takes for Scrooge to be like, yeah I’m bored of this adventure stuff, can I just go home to my family now? It may have just been the episode time frame but IDK man, I feel like he’s growing from once being bitter to becoming that good old family man again. Good, good old man, I love him.
ANYWAY- NOW LETS GET DOWN TO THE JUICY HALF OF THE EPISODE AND THE HALF THE EVERYONE WANTS MORE OF INCLUDING MYSELF
OK So here we see Dewey hitch a ride on grims cloak and fall into let’s say around 25+ years in the past. The FIRST thing I noticed and the first shot we get is a mere parallel to the one we see when Scrooge first falls in the past. Its a shot of the mansion. But as opposed to the shot where Scrooge falls during a Christmas where his mansion is LIT the fuck up with lights and sounds and color and LIFE, Dewey sees it dark and practically dead, but still recognizably the Mc’Duck Mansion. One of the next shots we see takes place inside, and we see the mansion (remember this duck is a billionaire) with the wallpaper peeling and the walls cracking and hardly lit and it looks absolutely deserted and kinda uncared for which BREAKS MY HEART OK!!!
(But I’m so glad I at least got the scene right where Dewey’s first interaction with Donald is through his music and that Dewey could guess it was Donald through his Voice™!!! Also, should have thought of Bluey. That was SO much better than Deuteronomy. But oh well! Got the fake family part right! And the fact that Donald knew she was out back looking fo Santa and was trying to catch Santa for Scrooge. That last part wasn’t in the comic, but that was going to be the original idea for part 4 and FUCK YEAH I WAS ON A ROLL)
And ohhhh when Donald says this is the most confusing family! Ouufff that hit me so hard!!! Cause like, honestly, in canon, Donald is SO proud of his heritage and family line. He’s the only Disney character to really even HAVE a family tree, are you kidding me?
Also Dewey just Yeeting himself out a window with Donald’s guitar as Leverage was such a good idea I wish I would have thought of it and I’m SO ANGRY that I didn’t but I guess if I had then technically I would have been a mind reader or actually stealing from the show so good job me for NOT doing that but I at least got them Escaping out the window part down so WOOP FOR that!
ALSO DONALD JUST STRAIGHT UP LICKING THE TREE! WONDERFUL GOOD BOY AND LIKE!!! AND LIKE!!! OK I kinda played around with the idea that Donald kinda just does stuff without explanation and when someone asks we gives off these weird oneliners that don’t really answer the question of WHY he did/was doing the thing in the first place is something I absolutely live for and both his interactions within my comic and in the show are so parallel with one another that I’m actually mind freaked right now I want to scream I fucking love these kids ok?!?!?
So I could probably live for the next 30 years off of just Dewey and Donald just talking to each other like, it was probably only 40 seconds of conversation, but I lived for every second like it was the only thing that mattered!!! Just Dewey being so Hecking Excited to learn more about Della from someone willing to talk to him without any trauma™ and I LOVED how Donald never outrightly admitted that Della wasn’t Amazing or Awesome (Dewey said it at least twice when referring to Della) and just changed the subject. Like, true sibling love. (I would have also accepted if he had called her a nerd or a geek or something similar because they are siblings after all, like jeezus the whole episode was mostly about their fight like, anything is great, give me them sibling dynamics)
OK AND THEN THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
DELLA MY SWEET BABY GIRL APPEARS AND SHE IS MY EVERYTHING
OK honestly I was gonna draw her with a bit more messy hair but OTHERWISE SHE’S PERFECT. AND HER’S AND DONALDS IMMEDIATE BICKERING IS MY FAVORITE EVER. (And tbh her reaction to them NOT being Santa clause and honestly that entire net scene was also gonna be my reaction so don’t be surprised when you see that in upcoming continuation of my comic) (Also her calling Dewey a Dummy, is ACE)
So their whole fight scene going on. The whole Dumbella incident. You can just FEEL the sibling energy off of it. I ate that shit up SO FAST. I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. (I WANT SO MUCH MORE OF THAT STUFF PLEASE DT CREW GIVE US A FLASHBACK EPISODE OF THE COUSINS I NEEEEEEED IT) If you’ve ever had a sibling then you KNOW. You know that look when Della got when Donald called her Dumbella. The No, not until you apologize she gave back. The FOR WHAT?? The endless back and forth that would have continued onward for a LONG time if they weren’t in impending doom. Man that’s the shit right there. That’s really all I wanted I could have had a full 45 minutes of just THAT right there. Just these kids being siblings.
(Also, Donald outing himself about the toothbrush and combat boots, he’s so gonna pay for that later I can feel it in my bones and I live for these moments kids)
AND THEN WE GET THE FIRST HEARTBREAKER OF THE NIGHT FOLKS, when Dewey figures out why Della’s so peeved at Donald (rightfully so) and it’s just!!! It’s just so good that all Della really wanted was to spend time with Donald and make a memory of it and catch Santa together and folks I would be lying to you and to God and to our Lord and savior Carl Barks if I said that I didn’t cry, these siblings are so good. (And the fact that Dewey also made a quick connection to himself, like, ohhh yeah I need to also be better and apologize to MY family and give MY Donald a hug when I get home)
NOW SHIT GETS REAL!!! The way Donald and Della land after getting free from the net. These kids were BORN for adventuring. This isn’t their first rodeo and this is what I want to see more of!!! Donald and Della as the fighting duo!!! (Dewey totally face planted my smol blue bean I love you) Della gets into fighting position ready to go, and Donald flips his hair back outta the way like so cool and nonchalantly LIKE DREAM TEAM SO COOL I LOVE THEEEEEMMMM!!! aND THEN when they find out the Wendigo is after Scrooge, They’re all like, “of, yeah, duh, Its always scrooge,” and then IMMEDIATELY GO AFTER HIM IN PERFECT FIGHTING SYNC LIKE THESE ARE 10-YEAR-OLDS AND THEY FIGHT LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN FIGHTING ON SCROOGE’S BEHALF FOR YEARS AND IM!!! (there’s so much fanfic potential here i’m screaming) And Dewey’s kinda just standing back like, Woah nelly, CAUSE LOOK AT THESE DUCK CHILDREN GO!!! LOOK AT MY LITTLE FIGHTING REBEL KIDS I ;KLD’KLASJ’F I LOVE THEM!!!
(Also, shout out to the last episode, in which we see that Donald kept the broken guitar under hammock all those years, he never could manage to through the thing away, i love this temperamental kid so much guys i’m crying again) But I’m glad we got to see Wee angry Donald!!! That was a fun thing I’m glad they put that in!!!
And now for the final! I’M glad Donald apologized rightly and straight away and wholeheartedly! That’s the good boy I know and Love! And Dewey going in for the hug!!! So sweet!!! But also!!! Della like, immediately figuring out that Dewey was from the future, I kinda like that! I wasn’t going to do it, but I like it! Love how smart she is and just how nonchalant they both are about it cause hey, have you MET their family? I like how they say Ducks, too. Not Mc’Ducks. Like, Scrooge is Weird and they do all sorts of crazy stuff with him, but you haven’t SEEN crazy till you’ve met the hick side of the family.
And then it’s like, just like that, they’re gone! And ouufff boy that was not the goodbye I was expecting but sometimes goodbyes are like that and that’s ok and I respect the out the DT crew took cause it flowed so nicely and well but boy did it hurt. (Can you imagine Donald and Della coming back with THEN Scrooge with this whole explanation to find nothing there and Scrooge being like???? Ack you kids leave me alone I hate Christmas as it is I don’t need you all playing tricks on me with fake Wendigos and family members from the futures when I have important things to do bah humbug or something and Donald and Della just have to live with this knowledge but at least they have each other and are closer for the better!!!) Because then Scrooge was there and THEN DEWEY WAS CRYING AND THERE’S JUST SO MANY EMOTIONS CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE EMOTIONS THIS KID IS GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW AND HE JUST WANTS TO GO HOME AND SEE HIS UNCLE DONALD AND BROTHERS AND WEBBY AND JUST BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS AND ACK.
AND GOSH WAS THE DONALD DEWEY HUG JUST SO GOOD AS WELL AS THE DOGPILE LITERALLY GIVE ME ALL THE HUGS, I WANT THEM ALL THIS IS SUCH A WHOLE GOOD EPISODE!!! All in all, 10/10 Was very good. Could I have loved more of just about EVERYTHING? yes, but I can make my own content if I need to fulfill my wishes. Overall, there was nothing that disappointed me, which was so good. I wasn’t let down by the interpretations of the characters, the morals, or how the storyline went. Could we have made it into a 45-minute episode and just like, extended every conversation? Yes. But plot? Solid. Characters? Solid. Relations? Super solid. Did Sol cry? She did and she will again cause she just loves these good characters so hecking much!!! Donald is my all time favorite Disney character on the planet and just the fact that he gets so much love and attention and just all the beautiful backstory and rick history is such a beautiful gift that just keeps on giving!
Also, FULL Disclosure, Im gonna continue part 3, 4 and 5 of my version of how I thought this episode was gonna go. Simply because, well, I liked it. And I think you all will like it to.
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SL Switch Up Challenge (Camus)
...Except I changed up some things: the “add at least one of his cards to your teams” was ignored for the most part and I picked my least favourite character (Camus, if you haven’t read the title) instead of the one that I have the lowest bond with because it seemed more fitting with the spirit of the challenge! Original ruleset can be found here!
I actually did this a while ago but I didn’t have time to post it because I was busy with uni and then decided to go for T3 UK Reiji. Maybe it’s for the best though, my perspective changed a little with time.
Day 1
First thing I’ve noticed are his heart links. I love how they progress, you can tell which one is the level 1 and which one is the level 3 or at least I think that’s the order they should be in, I’ve been avoiding Camus since I saw his Bond 50 lines. It’s how I wish heart links were the first place... well, maybe not to this extent but you know, something like an obvious fact for the first one and as it progresses you learn more less-known stuff that’s not that easy to notice.
I picked this heart links because even though I knew he had this sort of dynamic with Ran, I didn’t expect him to say it so openly. Maybe it’s a sign that he grew closer to the player and starts to admit what he truly thinks of the others (considering that first line is said in his butler voice), maybe it’s the heart links progression I was talking about or maybe a little bit of both - I’m not sure.
Day 2
Yeah, I know, it’s the last heart link lines, I’m sorry. I have everyone x everyone heart links level 3 unlocked so I spend the day trying to see if all of them follow the same pattern as Ranmaru’s. There are two characters that he compliments in all of the heart links - Ai and... Natsuki.
Ai I understand, I figured this one out but Natsuki was a huge surprise to me, especially that last line. I didn’t expect him to even be able to stand Natsuki’s personality. I’m not sure when does he show that smartness but okay, I don’t know his character that well either...
The vision of him and Natsuki just chillin’ and drinking tea is pretty cute and calming. Welp, another rare pair to the collection I guess! ...Now I lowkey regret that Butler Natsuki event didn’t feature Camus as the SR tbh. Maybe we’ll get some tea party set with the two as the URs in the future?
Day 3
He’s ticklish?! A-anyway... Overall, his reactions when poked are surprisingly soft. Aaand the pictured ones are all said in his deep voice (well, I’m not sure about the laugh). There’s this I guess...:
...But he still doesn’t use that prideful, condescending tone. He’s almost tsudere-like tbh. Well, almost.
Day 4
That was the day I realized that even though I didn’t pick Camus based on the bond, I should still probably show it to prove I’m doing something. So, here’s my bond with him as of Day 4:
As well as his heart links:
I started the challenge with him being on early Bond 65 too (or 7th based on the bond) but I unfortunately have no screenshots of that moment. Also yeah, I changed his costume and wallpaper because I’m not even sure how long he’s been left with it and I was getting tired of it. I guess he deserves better than the LtM outfit.
I should probably show the teams I use(d) too. It was after the event already but here are the event teams anyway:
I kept switching Prince Natsuki with Renarty for Seien no Brave Heart for higher score. I could have done so with Camus because they score the same so there’s something I guess? Also there’s no Shine team because my Dream used to be my Shine (UK Reiji saved it...at least for now) with two members swapped and I only played one Shine song - You’re My Life - because I needed more Shine gems for the weekly misson.
Here you can see the team I used (and still use!) outside of the events:
After unlocking everybody’s heart links level 3 I started farming Ai’s level 4 ones. Originally it was 3 Ren and 3 Syo cards but I added Camus. Honestly... I wasn’t really to try to follow the original rules.
I genuinely like the way Camus heart links work so he’s staying in there until I unlock that last heart link...which might turn out to be next year if KLab doesn’t slow down with the events. At the time of writing this their heart link is 1801 until rank up so not much progress but Syo and Ren need way less time so it should get faster once I finish theirs.
I don’t have many of lines from that day and I read all of the stories but the focusing on the teams gave me an idea. His cards.
He has some very gorgeous cards (two pictures below are taken from the wiki). I went for Mafia Camus just because I loved the theme. Idolized art still looks great after all this time too!:
I like his Halloween v2 so much that I tried scouting in his half to get him (no luck though) and unidolized is honestly one of my favourite cards in the game!:
...Welp, I think you can guess what kind of aesthetics I like.
Also...as silly as it is, I like singing karaoke (but with vocals left and it’s only at home so not really) with my sister and occasionally one of my friends and have color-coded lyrics for almost 40 songs atm. We all suck me the most but it’s fun and we don’t care. Anyways, the point was - out of 4 Utapri songs we have prepared the lyrics for (well, only I did...), somehow 2 of them feature Camus - Junketsunaru Ai -Aspiration- and NorthWind and SunShine.
Junketsunaru is super fun to sing and it’s my favourite Camus solo but I really like Zettai Reido Emotion as well!
One of my favourite songs overall - Trois - also features Camus. Non-Fiction is a banger too! ...I’m not gonna list songs with 4 and more people because this would take way too long so I’ll stop here.
And as a side note, I really love how this line sounds (sorry for no clip, it’s sort of breathy, something in between his regular and fake voice):
Day 5
I’m not sure if the first line is mistranslation or not but I’ve chosen to believe it’s not. This sort of lines are the reason why Camus wasn’t at the very bottom of my favourite list for a short period of time.
Serious characters that act seriously or at least casually about stuff that sounds absurd or at least unfitting for them is something I find funny. I’m not sure if there’s a name for this trope, boke doesn’t exactly fit but I’m guessing I like it because I like this sort of Manzai humour Gintama uses anyways.
This also makes me chuckle but I felt like it didn’t match first two enough to get paired with them:
Aaand while this one might not seem particularly funny, it reminded me of my headcanons I first had when going through the profiles while SL was downloading - that the “fabulous hair guy” was a chuuni (because I didn’t believe his description) that loves Kuroshitsuji and tries to act like Sebastian because he think it’s cool:
I still headcanon that he’s a Sebastian stan btw.
And while not from SL and not something new I’ve learned, I just had to put this in here because it turned so fun themed (gif taken from here):
Day 6
Time for Camus idle lines! I really tried looking for stuff he says in his natural voice but I couldn’t find anything better.
First one is very basic but I wanted to give an overview of Camus lines at Bond 65 so it had to do. Ai’s were better even as early on but I guess there’s not much to show when you have to fit in some of the butler persona lines and there’s less idle lines that the ones caused by tapping (I think?) so I’m probably being too impatient... I hope.
The last one is something that I could put as a standalone “line of the day” though. It’s so satisfying to make him swallow his pride and ask instead of demand! It’s a small step but it would be so fulfilling to teach him his place... Maybe that’s one of the reasons his fans like him - they feel like they could change somebody for the better. Or is it more like revealing his true, soft side?
I guess characters like this make the thing more “realistic” (can I even use this word while refering to Utapri and Camus? Probably not). But I feel like it’s not what they were going for, considering the way he acts towards the player.
Anyway, I used to think his lines would be more like: “How dare you ignore me, peasant?” and couldn’t get what are the reasons people like him other than them having a thing for jerks. Now I can see some more logical ones.
Day 7
Aka all the negative stuff I cut out from the other days and my final thoughts and the bond/heart links update.
If you just wanted some wholesomeness and can’t accept any negativity, you can finish reading here, no hard feelings! Thank you for reading! and remember that liking or disliking a character doesn’t define a person so please no pointless attacking me
And if you are fine with it, thank you even more! A lot of this is speculations based on what I see in SL and I know still don’t understand Camus so feel free to try to change my mind if you know more than I do!
But first of all, here’s how my bond and heart links looked as of Day 7:
And this is how they look now, the week after the challenge:
Comparing Day 4 to Day 7, you can see that I was tapping him more than a couple times a day - he went up one whole level!
And about the current ones... I know Camus/Ai heart link barely moved but there was pretty much no downtime, my Bond/Link team is still the same! Most of the bond comes from being in my Star team.
Now that’s out of the way, here’s the line I mentioned Day 1, the very reason I Camus landed at the bottom of my list in the first place:
Yikes.
I already consider possessiveness a big flaw that they gave some characters because nobody’s perfect and some people are into that so it’s a win-win... but this is a whole another level (I’m not sure why out of all the words “can” is the one that’s capitalized though). It’s disturbing.
I do feel like there was a lot of potential in his character. They could give him some character development, make him show the side he shows to the player to the others too and I guarantee it would make him more popular.
I mean, my favourite is Ai. His attitude towards Syo and Natsuki in the early anime was pretty bad but he had changed, he even becomes friends with them and in the Denim stories it’s confirmed that they still hang out.
However... to me, even if Camus starts showing the same side he shows the player to the others, he will never make it higher than mid-tier of my list just because of this one line ...but I guess it still would be an improvement.
Also, I’ve heard that he’s no the only one that acts this way in the vn so if anyone could tell me the details that would be great... or not, depending on the boys but I’d still be grateful if you’d save me from liking someone like this!
Anyway, you could probably figure that out already but I find it awkward and uncomfortable how different he acts towards the player compared to how he acts towards the other idols, especially poor Cecil. Is there a legitimate reason he treats him this way?:
Other than simply “he dislikes him”, ofc. It’s a genuine question btw, if anyone knows more, especially from the VN, please tell me.
Don’t get me wrong, I really like the sort of rivalry between him and Ran but clearly it’s not how his relationship with Cecil works.
I might be reading too much into that but I feel like Cesshi seems aware of the side Camus shows to the player (which I didn’t catch first time I read the story tbh) and from the Camus side of the story I feel like he knows that he knows and yet, he still says this:
It’s just sad, really. Should I feel bad that he distanced himself from the others, is there any reason for that or is he making himself a victim to the player? ...Ugh, I know it’s not the case but it makes the most sense. Idk, is he too full of himself to notice? It doesn’t seem right, I mean... he called Natsuki smart... or smarter than he looks, at least.
Cecil is implied to know about his “true self” so I feel like he understands you to some extent. He’s trying to be nice to him, yet Camus refuses to acknowledge it... Here, despite the way he treats him, that poor baby still tries to (awkwardly) cheer him up:
I feel like his pride was hurt a little and Cecil did help him by saying that... but I don’t think I understand Camus enough so maybe not. Anyway, even though it was awkward, Cecil’s definitely being gentle here so I’m not sure why he can’t see that. Eh, I really don’t get this guy.
To quote best boy (who said this today as the 2nd bond boosting line so I had to put this btw):
And I doubt it’s just Cecil, it was probably implied by more people but it flew over my head because I didn’t know he’s so different when talking to the player.
Well, at least there's some improvement later in the story because he stops saying that kids like Cecil because he’s childish and instead rolls with the explanation Cecil gave him - it’s because Cecil has more experience with children.
I read those stories beforehand and it was why I was so surprised that he likes Natsuki - after all he acts the most childish and does what he wants. I’m not sure if there’s something important about Natsuki I’m missing don’t know or if talking to Alexander makes you smart in Camus eyes.
Okay, but back to his... triple-faceness, at this point? This is basically stuff I cut out of the Day 6 because I felt like it was getting too negative:
I don’t like how he’s only kinder to the player. If anything, it makes me wonder if he’s lying and picked just another mask good for geting what he wants. Ugh, I know it’s not the case again and you don’t need to convince me but with the character like this, I can’t really get rid of this feeling.
But I guess maybe it makes his fans feel truly special - characters like Otoya or Cecil are nice to everybody so the way they treat you in comparision to the others doesn’t have as much of an impact as it’s with Camus. Even Ran's softer side isn’t reserved only for the player. But ignoring how badly he treats the others just to feel special...it’s way too selfish for me but I get that some people find that attractive.
In conclusion, I didn’t have an accurate image of Camus personality before this challenge so I’m glad I did it. Now I understand that he’s way more complex, even if I don’t really get him. However I started seeing the reasons why some people might like him, so I feel like maybe I at least understood his fans better.
This challenge was pretty fun. I’m glad I learned something new, I might even do this again with Masato ...but probably without creating a post because I end up spending way too much time on it. I thought it’s gonna be way harder to pick the pictures (...though I made things easier for myself and started doing this by themes) or write anything about someone you don’t really like.
Even if I mainly focused on the negatives in the end, the things I said in the first 6 Day were important as well. He originally had his own separate “Nope” tier, now he’s in the bottom tier with Masato so it’s a bit of improvement? I still don’t like him (due to the stuff listed during Day 7 and more) but for different reasons and slightly less.
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Video Games Pt3: Video Game Challenge
I saw this list on Pinterest out of nowhere, and what better way to ring in the new year than with another questionnaire, about my favorite pastime! This is the spiritual successor to Part 1 and Part 2.
Day 1 - Very first video game: Pacman and/or Mortal Kombat and/or Samurai Shodown on arcade machines (way back in the day when laundromats had arcade machines and gumball machines and such in them--good times, good times U_U); Tetris on computers; and a buttload of PS1 titles (again: back in the good ole days when consoles came with promo demo discs--I had Frogger, Need for Speed, Medieval, and a bunch of others).
Day 2 - Your favorite character: Here’s my Top 10 Males post and Top 10 Females post.
Day 3 - A game that is underrated: I will preach the greatness of PS1′s Legend of Dragoon till my dying day. It was doomed to dwell in Final Fantasy 7′s shadow, which came out earlier that same year, and it’s a real shame, cuz LoD was E V E R Y T H I N G.
My favorite aspects of the game are:
Its lore and worldbuilding. On top of the fact that the premise of the game is could be an anime series in its own right, you just get SO EXCITED to visit each new location, and uncover more about the world’s history, and see the different architecture, technologies, cultures and different races (I LOVE the Winglies, of course). It’s actually a gorgeous game for its time.
The combat -- I STILL have some of the Addition patterns memorized to this very day! They get progressively harder as you level up, but once you get used to the timing you feel so dang good. Die, More and More!
The soundtrack and cutscenes. The NOSTALGIA? O_O Bruh. The story is just really good, and was the very first video game to make me cry when certain...events...happened. Play the game and find out for yourself!
Day 4 - Your guilty pleasure game: The Sims, Dragon Age...any and all EA games. Effing ashamed of myself every time I give that nest of corporate demons at Electronic Farts money. “Surprise mechanics” my arse.
Day 5 - Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were): Has Jar Jar Binks been in a video game yet? Then that’s me. XD But I wish I was most like Lara Croft, as explained in my Top 10 Females post.
Day 6 - Most annoying character: For females it’s Lightning from Final Fantasy 13, and for males it’s Vaan, from Final Fantasy 12. I don’t mind as much when supporting characters are effing annoying (Vanille, Hope, etc), but when it’s the MAIN protagonist?! WHY, Square Enix? WHY.
Lightning was just a negative nancy debbie downer. I wish they had swapped Serah and Lightning, I seriously do. I just couldn’t stand her dry and soulless personality. She wasn’t being edgy or bada** or cool or sexy or FANG or anything; she was just a bitter jaded unhappy wench.
And with Vaan I just effing hate that dude. Why was he even there? They tried so hard to make this pushy entitled kid relevant, but I was like no, the story could’ve easily been told without him, and I wish it had been; he’s a effing idiot.
Day 7 - Favorite game couple: Yuna and Tidus from FFX (hardest I ever cried playing a video game -- THE FEELS I TELL YOU).
Day 8 - Best soundtrack: I used to think it was Skyrim, but nope, it’s Witcher 1, 2 and 3. Just listen to ALL of the songs CDPR ever produced for the entire franchise, including all the unreleased tracks, and enjoy the eargasm.
Day 9 - Saddest game scene: Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice had me legit depressed for a good week. Get your tissues and holy water ready; it’s seriously effed up. The entire game is the saddest I ever played, jfc.
Day 10 - Best gameplay: Witcher 3, duh. Main quests, side quests, combat, dialogue, plot, graphics, worldbuilding, creatures, bosses, soundtrack, characters, Gwent, NEED I GO ON.
Day 11 - Gaming system of choice: Playstation for life. But the Nintendo Switch is effing brilliant, ngl; once they put Skyrim & The Witcher on it I was like SOLD.
Day 12 - A game everyone should play: At least ONE Final Fantasy game. There’s 15+, and Dissidia and Kingdom Hearts. It’s not just a game, it’s an experience.
As much as I rag on FF13 and FF15, they’re still admittedly LEAGUES better than a lot of other crap out there. I just happen to feel that Square Enix is out of its frikkin mind lately, and tbh I’ve been rapidly losing my hype for the FF7 Remake. I was never much of a FF7 fan to begin with, aside from being a rabid Sephiroth fangirl and watching Advent Children a billion times. But Square’s gotta be drunk as a skunk if they think I’m paying all that money for god knows how many of these effing “episodes” they’re gonna piecemeal us to dangit death with. HAYUL no. I’d rather not get too attached.
Day 13 - A game you’ve played more than five times:
Day 14 - Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper: Huh?
Day 15 - What game are you playing right now: Speak of the devil, I’m replaying God of War for the zillionth time already.
Day 16 - Game with the best cut scenes: In terms of graphics and story impact IMO might be Red Dead Redemption 2. That game was frikkin gorgeous, and the story was SO DANG GOOD. Braithwaite Manor!? O_O
Day 17 - Favorite antagonist: For females it’s either Edea from FF8, or Yunalesca from FFX. For dudes it’s Sephiroth, from FF7. That man needs some serious counseling.
Day 18 - Favorite protagonist: Yuna from FFX for the ladies, and TW3′s Geralt of Rivia for the dudes.
Day 19 - A game world you would like to live in: The more Middle Eastern-inspired scifi/steampunki-medievalesque world of Ivalice from FF12, or the medieval French/Swiss Toussaint from The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine.
Day 20 - Favorite genre: RPGs and JRPGs, and pretty much action-adventure games with swords and sorcery.
Day 21 - Game with the best story: Red Dead Redemption, which is a good thing and a bad thing. A lot of the time I felt I was watching a movie, rather than playing a game. But it was still an Oscar worthy movie. XD
Day 22 - A game sequel which disappointed you: Technically it hasn’t come out yet, but from what we’ve seen of the Nioh 2 beta release, omfg what’s going on? U_U Now, don’t get me wrong! Nioh 2 looks AMAZING. But....that’s cuz it looks exactly like Nioh 1, just with new yokai gameplay thrown in. o_O Uh...is this a DLC expansion pack or what? Cuz it sure ain't lookin like a full-fledged sequel! :P Dare I call it an asset flip. Come on, don’t do this; do MORE. Unless this is actually an expansion you’ll sell for half the price. ;)
Day 23 - Game you think had the best graphics or art style: For graphics it’s RDR2, but for most unique art style it’s always been Okami for me. <3
Day 24 - Favorite classic game: Spyro the Dragon. Their reboot for PS4 was AMAZING.
Day 25 - A game you plan on playing: Cyberpunk 2077. I’m so bummed, knowing the game’s been delayed to September 2020 instead of April, but oh well. As long as CDPR gives us that master-class level of Polish we all know and love from The Witcher 3, then take as much time as you need, I guess. At least they’re not like effing EA or Bethesda. XD
Day 26 - Best voice acting: BOY. Freaking iconic, Kratos. :P
Day 27 - Most epic scene ever: Ciri beating the absolute tastebuds outta Caranthir in TW3, not once but twice. Most OP Witcher EVER, girl; WERK.
Day 28 - Favorite game developer: Though I effing hate them, I’m still a Square Enix fangirl at heart. It’s just saddening to see this weird turn they’ve been making recently, with garbage like the Quiet Man, and especially with Final Fantasy, my favorite game series of all time. U_U I’m not looking forward to the FF7 Remake anymore, tbh. I just hope FF16 is more of a return to form.
Day 29 - A game you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving: Skyrim. I was never a big fan of Elder Scrolls games, and when Skyrim came out I was very meh at first. But then the mods started coming out for it and I was like wow. O_O
Day 30 - Your Favorite game of all time: Legend of Dragoon on PS1, Final Fantasy X on PS2, Skyrim on PS3/PC, The Witcher 3 on PS4, and The Sims on PC.
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Thanks for reading!
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1-140 pls ;)
3 Fears: Heights, disappointing the ones i love, and dying without making a impact
3 things I love: sincere affection,Music, you probably
2 turns on: Harmonics and good kissing
2 turns off: assumptions and closed mindedness
My best friend: been awhile sonce i’ve seen him but my buddy Logan
Sexual orientation: Pansexual
How tall am I: 6ft’3
What do I miss right now: hm, probably friends in far away places
Favourite color: black& Red
Do I have a crush: man I fall so easily, i’ve tried to get rid of the notion of “crushes” because it leads to aches
Favourite place: my room
What am I listening to right now: “The Muse” by The Wood Brothers
Shoe size: 13 wide
Eye color: hazel
Hair color: brown/black
Meaning behind my URL: it’s a play on my online handle “The God Damn Hero, TheGDHero)
Favourite song: depends on the mood
Favourite band: prob Protest The Hero but there are so many other ones up there
How I feel right now: Pretty okay, indifferent
Someone I love: i’d like to say myself, but can’t but i’m getting there
My current relationship status: Eternally single
My relationship with my parents: Much better than it used to be
Favourite season: Fall
Tattoos and piercing i have: 0
Tattoos and piercing i want: I want a few tats, one being my family Coat Of Arms
The reasons I joined Tumblr: I joined YEARS ago because my GF at the time had one and after we split i never deleted it
Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: Ha....no
Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: Nope
How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: about 45 mins
Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: NOPE
Where am I right now?: Home
Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: louder the better
Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: nope
Am I excited for anything?: The sweet release of D- i mean i’m going on vacation soon
Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: I’d like to think so
How often do I wear a fake smile? Less than I have been
If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?:You
What do I think about most?: If Global warming is a myth then why did Club Penguin shit down?
Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behinddd
What was the last lie I told?: i’m okay
Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?phone
Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: sure
Do I believe in magic?: eh
Do I believe in luck?: sure
What’s the weather like right now?: overcast
What was the last book I’ve read?: Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Do I have any nicknames?: a few
Do I spend money or save it?: i’m trying to save
Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: nah
Favourite animal?: Lion
What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Sleeping
What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: Rivers and Roads
What is my favorite word?: tapioca
My top 5 blogs on tumblr: tbh i’m not on here enough
If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: Stop being assholes to each other, Also #32 your table is ready
Do I have any relatives in jail?: nope
What is my current desktop picture?: TSM 2018 wallpaper
Had sex?: sure
Bought condoms?: always
Gotten pregnant?: nope
Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: Sure
Had job?: yarp
Smoked weed?: yarp
Smoked cigarettes?: not my thing but i have before
Drank alcohol?: not really
Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: nope
Been overweight?: sure
Been underweight?: nope
Gotten my heart broken?: more than once
Been to prom?: nah, PLayed D&D insstead
Been in airplane?: yup
Learned another language?: yup
Wore make up?:yup
Dyed my hair?:Nope
Had a surgery?: Yes
Met someone famous?: a few
Stalked someone on a social network?: nah
Been fishing?: Yup
Been rejected by a crush?: Who hasn’t
What do I want for birthday?: peace and quite, and maybe a new PC
Do I like my handwriting?: eh, take it or leave it
Where do I want to live when older?: hmmm, Japan or Greece
Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?: Sure
What I’m really bad at:Taking compliments
What my greatest achievments are: Graduating from uni with my bachelors in Audio Engineering
The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: listen man, I try not to think about it
What I’d do if I won in a lottery: ensure I could invest and create growth from my gains
What do I like about myself: my wit
My closest Tumblr friend: Technically you
Any question you’d like?...
Are you outgoing or shy?: I guess shy
What kind of people are you attracted to? Kind, and caring people
Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?: Bruh i don’t know if i’m eating breakfast tomorrow
Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?: not really
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?: man, i don’t even know
What does the most recent text that you sent say?: “Good and Good”
What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 1.2.3.4.5
Do you like it when people play with your hair?: if i’m comfortable with them, even then i have sensory issues
Do you think there is life on other planets?: i mean we can’t be the only things out there
Do you like bubble baths? Not really
Do you like your neighbors?: Never met them
Where would you like to travel?: at the very moment, North Carolina
Favorite part of your daily routine? sleeping
What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?: Face i guess
What do you do when you wake up?: find my will to live
Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?: nah
Do you ever want to get married?: dunno, prob not
If your hair long enough for a pony tail?: Yes
Would you rather live without TV or music?: TV
Have you ever liked someone and never told them?: oh sure
What are your favorite stores to shop in?: i don’t really shop like that
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?: depends
Do you smile at strangers?: fake but yeah
Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?: no, not really
Ever wished you were someone else?: meh only sometimes
Favourite makeup brand? N/A i don’t know shit about makeup
Last thing you ate?: Spaghetti i made
Ever won a competition? For what? Music composition contest that paid for my first semester of college
Ever been in love?: you’ve asked this already
Facebook or Twitter?: eh i’m on FB more
Twitter or Tumblr?: Twitter atm
Are you watching tv right now?: nah
What colour are your towels?: White
Favourite ice cream flavour?: hmmm, something chocolate
First person you talked to today? Jim (my coworker)
Last person you talked to today? @falulu
Name a person you hate?: i don’t hate, or try not to
Name a person you love?: you
Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?: again, i’m not big on violence like that
Do you tan a lot?: nah, just am
Have any pets?: a puppy name Iris
Do you type fast? so-so
Do you regret anything from your past?: Sure
Ever broken someone’s heart?: Sure i have
Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?: all the time
Is cheating ever okay?: Nah fam
Do you believe in true love?: Sure, hasn’t happened to me yet but sure
What your zodiac sign? Scorpio
Do you believe in ghosts? sure
Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? ( Death and other Holidays)(Hope you’re happy Smartass)
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dream log: 7/8/19
henlos friendlos if u enjoyed that last installment of wHAT THE FUCK did i just dream, enjoy another one, this time accompanied by a recurring hellscape that i very very very much do not love!!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha i hate it let’s go
so i started out the dream hanging out with some friends of mine who, for whatever reason, were morgan adams and her friend (whose name i don’t currently remember. i know it but my i am fully blanking lol. it’s her best friend, the one she grew up with and often has in videos. anyway. lol). so i remember we were hanging out, i think on like a road trip or a picnic or something weird? I’m not totally sure but i have a weirdly vivid memory of like a woven picnic basket and sitting in the back of a pickup truck with them in like beach gear and sunglasses? i also vaguely remember a small dog that was mostly white and a little grey with those really short but thick and tight curls. he was very cute and i love him and i wish i remember anything else about him. i don’t think he was in the dream after this.
so somehow, i guess we lived in a dorm together with this like weirdly big concrete backyard and a pool (honestly if you’ve ever played stardew valley, it kinda looked like the irl version but more condensed and again, all concrete instead of grass or dirt). our room had a sliding glass door that led straight to the back yard. actually, i don’t know for sure if we lived in a dorm because we had a family there and i guess it was both our family? but we weren’t related... but somehow... ugh idk. maybe they were host families and i was living with her in hawaii lmao who knows
anyway. so at one point in the middle of the night one night, i decided to wander around outside to take in the air, look at the stars, and get a little privacy. so when you walk out of the sliding glass doors, basically like a little ways in front of you and slightly to the left was a MASSIVE in ground pool, not covered or anything, vibrant blue water and all, in that like ear shape kind of? and not only was the ground white cement, but there were also these huge industrial lights all the way around the whole yard so you could see really easily at night. to the right of that was a good bit of open space, literally just cement. i think there were a few pool chairs or something. but then when you’re standing in the sliding door, straight ahead but WAYYYYYYYYYY at the back was this small bit of wooden fence. it was odd because everything else was cement or stone or whatever, and wherever it started and stopped on either side was actually conveniently covered by low hanging tree branches and ivy and whatnot. and right in the middle of that little bit of wooden fence was a gate with a rounded top and black iron hinges and a black iron handle.
me being me, i was drawn to it; the one little naturey part of this concrete and stone yard, so i walked immediately toward it, almost enchanted. instead of pausing to look at it like i’d planned to (for whatever reason i knew that we weren’t allowed to leave the house until the morning, like nightly), i reached straight for the handle and opened it.
instead of leading out, it actually led directly inside this mansion type place. there were a lot of people running frantically in circles but they didn’t seem to see me. however, there were some like vampire looking people in lab coats who would look at me and nod once, and keep going. i let go of the handle, already inside (although i never noticed taking the steps inside) and the door closed. now this was a place i recognized from MANY previous dreams, and couldn’t remember at first WHY i recognized it, just that it was familiar. but as soon as the door slammed i spun around to leave; that’s NEVER a good sign. but there was no door at all, just wallpaper. like old vintage green and gold wallpaper, separated by a wood accent and the gold side decorated in little green emblems that look like that symbol i can’t remember the fucking name of lol but it’s almost like a trident, since it has three prongs, but the middle one is much taller, the outer two are curved away from the middle, and they all come together at the bottom in the middle.
panic.
i suddenly realize that all of the people running frantically are being chased by these vampires in lab coats (and some other various monsters, but mostly vamps in coats), and they’re all screaming various forms of “help me”.
now i began in a small foyer, however there are a few rooms scattered around with no door but they are all pitch black inside, there is an elevator to the left that seems to only be used by the monsters and not the people running, and in the middle is what seems to be a never ending staircase. it goes up and up and up and up and UP and down and down and down and down down down down down. and so on. i start running, trying to find another way out, also yelling for help, and where’s the exit, and i just want to get out of here and such, and i start being chased too!! in the moment this is to be expected; i have been lured here and trapped for consumption. i guess the monsters enjoy the chase; it’s set up like a hotel but also like a doctor’s office. it’s odd. maybe i just got that impression because of the lab coats.
at some point i happen to lose a vampire and slip into one of the few rooms with an old rickety door on it that is also not locked. it in fact does look like a hospital room, bed/iv/all that, and there’s a curtain to the left. i run over there and find multiple people with fingers to their mouths so i don’t scream when i see them. i think we exchanged like “how long have you been here” and “what’s your story” and stuff, and then we heard the door creak slowly open. we all fell silent.
it was a doctor. a vampire doctor or a zombie doctor or something, either way he was a monster. idk how i know this, maybe i peeked around the curtain or something, but he was holding a clipboard and looking down at the bed and talking to it as though there were a patient in it. there was not.
something clicked in my brain and i remembered this place, this room, everything from my past dreams. and the trick is not to run, not to scream. you walk calmly, do your best to not feel the fear pumping through your veins. they will nod at you as they walk. you MUST. nod. back. or you will die.
as you do so, you will find your door, no matter what floor you’re on. it will be in the same place on that floor that it was when you first entered (on the same wall or whatever). so i waited for the doctor to leave, wished everyone luck (idr if i told them how to leave tbh, i think i mentioned it? but some of them chuckled. like i remember there was a skater boi with long black hair and a beanie sitting up on the counter who like laughed and shook his head but offered no explanation. but either way i had to try it again. if it didn’t work i’d die, but if i didn’t try i’d die too.)
thankfully no one was walking down the hallway as i was exiting, so i was able to shut the door quietly behind myself, straighten my back, and start walking. as i did, the tests began. one doctor nodded and passed. another. another. and as i rounded the corner to my right, i felt a feminine presence beside me. however, you could not make eye contact with anyone but the doctors/monsters. so i kept my head forward as we passed the elevators to the right and my door materialized where i remembered it being. i almost picked up my pace but the girl beside me gently placed a hand on my right forearm (again, not looking at me) and i was reminded to keep my pace steady. i grabbed the handle and exited, and the door slammed shut behind me and i breathed finally, and whipped around to the girl beside me.
it was morgan.
she said she’d followed me in there and when she saw what i was doing, decided to follow. i was thrilled to see her. i hugged her tightly and we headed back up to the sliding glass doors. we snuck inside and went to sleep and pretended we never left.
when we woke up in the morning, our dad and i guess younger sister (suddenly morgan’s friend wasn’t there, i guess she was only there for day 1 idk) decided to take us fishing. we couldn’t really say no, the girl was so excited about it, and our dad made it clear it wasn’t reaaaaally optional. but nevertheless, he was stoked to go, and i felt like it was going to be a good day.
morgan, however, was acting strange. it was in little ways at first; i’d say her name and she wouldn’t respond, she’d forget that she had to eat, she’d just stop talking for minutes at a time and stare blankly at nothing. but she was trying to... readjust. i knew something was up.
when it hit me that maybe morgan hadn’t followed me, maybe i brought something else out, literally i didn’t even have to say anything, her eyes just snapped to me. it was fucking spooky to say the least. i waited until we were out of the truck bed and could speak in slight privacy, and i mumbled to her “i know you’re not morgan.” in response, she simply leaned much closer to me, once again walking side by side on my right, looking straight ahead, but she didn’t say anything. she just leaned really fucking close while we were walking. i have this weirdly vivid image of her shirt sleeve being like a delicate and semi see through light pink mesh material. odd. i also am getting the name emily (and did at some point in the dream but idr when). oof i’m still kinda spooked reliving this. anyway.
so to appease her a little i told her that i wasn’t upset she was using morgan. she straightened a little, and i said i could help her find her way back. again, she still wouldn’t speak to me but she looked at me in alarm, her eyes pleading. so i said maybe i could help her find somewhere else that she could live and morgan could be free. she sighed a little but seemed to agree.
i somehow knew she was the ghost of a girl named emily who had been trapped in that hotel/hospital/hellscape for decades. again, in hindsight (in the moment and especially now), she never actually spoke. like at all. she communicated but not with words. it was odd.
after that i have some sort of fuzzy memories of meeting and trying to figure out a way for her to leave morgan alone, some kind of plotting where we’d have to go back into the hellscape and get back out separately, but i don’t remember. i think she had to find a new body (either one that would already be trapped, or maybe her old one, who knows) and it was only ethical to take one from there. morgan, she had just taken the shape of based on my memory of her and then inhabited her body overnight when we got back. anyway.
so, yeah. i woke up thankfully before we got back, and when i fell back asleep i wasn’t there again. but let me just tell you, the longer i’ve been sitting here typing this, the more freaked out i’m getting, the more i feel eyes on me, and the more i can swear i hear the screams from that hellscape that i’ve been trapped in so many times throughout my years of dreaming. i even thought i felt someone shaking my chair a moment ago.
i hope u enjoyed this spookfest if you managed to stay captivated long enough. it’ll be too soon if i ever have to see that place again.
let me know what your thoughts are on this if you have any, or even general spooked reactions and shit. i’m gonna go get a snack to distract myself and watch some cheery youtube videos.
bye!
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