#i wish theyd just DO IT already

[thedisablednaturalist]

Yea I admit it, I am extremely jealous of rich people, especially those who were born rich. Who are able to follow their passions and not worry about money because their parents bought them a car and a penthouse apartment in LA and they can stream on twitch and get thousands of followers cause they have top of the line equipment and studio set up and the TIME that is essential to creating and keeping a community engaged. It's very rare that a person who makes enough money to support themselves on twitch started out poor. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but being able to stay home and stream all day and afford expensive equipment (including a gaming pc or laptop that can handle streaming video, let alone streaming both video and a graphics heavy game) will always have a HUGE advantage over someone who has to work all day for a living. And don't get me started on vtubers who drop 5k+ on a model and branding kit and instantly get hundreds of thousands of followers.

I wish I could stream more and do more streams oriented towards environmental science and conservation but my pc keeps breaking and most of my spoons go towards my job. I don't even really want to be a huge streamer? I just want enough people to hang out with so I'm not lonely while playing farming games

#wrenfea.exe #twitch #streaming #vtubers #sorry this is kinda off topic for this blog #im just frustrated and jealous #i took sculpture classes in college and met so many people from rich familes #who told their kids they could do anything and theyd support them #which is nice but i still have a right to be pissed that we dont all have that privilege #this girl was like yeah im gonna pursue sculpture cause my daddy already pays for my car and apartment #its like...a whole nother world... #income inequality #i just wish everyone could puruse their passions without worrying about survival

[marsixm]

yknow normally i hate it when media handholds the audience too much, so i’m like well why am i fine with ofmd’s flashbacks then? and like half of it is amv brain. its the turbo autism of it all. like yes thank you i DO want to see stede and ed staring at each other again! how did you know!

#also in s1 they were less egregious so i got used to it? #(but no i wish theyd do less ones of stuff we already saw!) #and i dont rly judge sitcoms on the same rules #namely- bc i was also thinking about this- #obviously i also love media that makes u think and is different #honestly ofmd also makes u think and things are not all totally obvious #i think the things that they handhold over are things they want to be unambiguously clear like the love story #and thats cool #but still i feel like this is still primarily a sitcom #the fact that it has murder and a rom com and bizarre chaos is already kind of doing a lot? imo? #idk thats just my 2 cents tho #and also its actually genuinely funny and not annoying about the way it does 80% of its jokes #so much comedy is hampered by writing Obvious Jokes ™ #instead of letting characters be Characters and the comedy coming out naturally

[vanillabat99]

I have been walking the fine line between "Bad Time" and "Crisis" for a couple days now. I've been waking up in panics, multiple times through the night. I'm not sure how to help myself and even thinking about a hospital trip makes me want to throw up, so I guess I'm cursed to suffer for now ._.

#im trying to take care of myself as best i can. i swear. its just so so hard :( #i dont know if i can go to choir practice tomorrow. i havent been able to shower or do laundry :( #ive been trying to eat and its going okay but it is. difficult. #there is also the hallucinations and delusions that taunt me ._. #and the intrusive thoughts have been acting up again. i dont like being in the kitchen rn. too much could happen. which doesnt help. #i wish there were non hospital help options. but ive kinda been through all of them already and i worry theyd just send me away so like. #actually i think i have set foot in crisis territory. man. wish me luck yall ._. #batty blogging #text

[stonerzelda]

i need a new vidyod. game <- has no life direction and is running out of time to find one

#sometimes i do wish i could just meet a game developer and theyd be like hey heres a job in story concept work for no reason #if i could see a future in art i would go back to school for ot but uhhh apparently its not possible or realistic #i am still so hung up on the fact i paid tuition to be told oh btw if you dont Already know how to do this youre fucked #and were not gonna help you lol. o7 #i dont want to go to this new school for a career i. really. like i do have a passion for caring for people #but....yknow. #not what i dreamed of. such is life #anyway back 2 the fun posts now LAWL

[olde-scratch]

the money i would spend if monster high wasn't overhauled.

#the new dolls are. okay. i guess. #mattel sells reproductions of draculara frankie lagoona and clawdeen but BRO #i would drop all of my paycheck on an og style monster high doll if they werent discontinued and expensive to find secondhand #like PLEASE i just got over my fear of spending money on myself bring them BACK so i can DO THAT #i hear some more reproductions are coming in jan next year but i wish theyd make reproductions of ones other than the main outfits #id kill for a sweet 1600 draculara (even tho ive already got so many...) or some more lagoonas abbeys or ghoulias #i could use some more of the boy dolls tho since i lost mine sob #im glad i have what i have but i wish i could drop 20-30 bucks occasionally on a mh doll that doesnt looks so. strange. #they changed the faces too much for me to like them lol idc abt the molds its the faces that do it for me #also clawds hair he looks like a tiktok eboy i hate it :skull: #if i knew how id make my own molds and prints and make the damn dolls myself #the new art style is also terrible im sorry i hate it so much #call me a capitalist bootlicker for this post all you want i just wish i could go and buy dolls from my childhood to make me happy #without looking into the 50+ range for ONE DOLL #mattel pls u already have the molds #why must you make me suffer like this

[semercury]

I want to cry at work and it's probably the hormones and the fact I've been so so so bad at taking my meds. But also like. The discount didn't fully work and it sucks and I'm mad, but more importantly I'm terrified people will come to hate me because of who I am. I feel like I'm walking around at all times with a comical cartoon piano dangling over my head by a string, and one day it's going to break. It's going to snap and then I'll be alone and everyone will hate me and be glad I'm dead, crushed under a cartoon piano.

#stuff sarah says #conversations and events have been getting too close to some of my fears #people keep saying im ''one of the good ones'' and its like. youre wrong. bc i wont just blindly encourage everything #but i do know how not to be a dick about things #but also sooo many people are going where i cannot follow. and sometimes i think there are things i disagree with not just bc of rules #and im just really scared. at the end of the day. im just really scared #and everyone would be better off if i was dead in a ditch somewhere. but im scared of that too #bc of unknown and consequences #but also bc i know theres people who dont realize how much better off theyd be without me yet. and i dont want to hurt people #more than i already am by simply existing #and idk! its just very heavy walking around with this in my head all day every day!! im tired!! #i really miss my therapist!!!!!! i wish he was alive!!

[jonny-b-meowborn]

i just cried after doing the dishes because of my paws being in pain and because I feel like I'm being a terrible host because I'm kinda tired of my guests. I love spending time with them, but having to go to work, do my house chores, keep them entertained and fed, is just too much. And I feel like being overwhelmed makes me a horrible host. I didnt tell them anything, I'm trying to seem like I'm not that tired, but just because in my head I'm getting tired of all that, I'm bad. And yes I know that my thoughts don't make me bad, but that doesn't matter because while I know that I still feel like absolute piece of garbage. Because like, how could I even think of that. I'm supposed to be happy about them being here, and I am happy, but I am also constantly in pain and have to do everything around the house and it's just too much

#i feel so guilty for that but sometimes i wish theyd leave early even though they just came here #not because i dont want them to be around #i just dont want to have to do absolutely everything for them #but i have to. theyre my guests #i wish they lived closer so we could meet without all that exhausting bullshit #just. go get a coffee or pizza together every now and then #but since they live across the country they cant visit often so every visit has to matter #and what makes me even more guilty is that im mostly tired of my sister's boyfriend #i like him. but im tired #my sister is my everything and i would kill and die for her. she can do whatever she wants #but also she does whatever she wants. if shes hungry or thirsty she knows she can just grab anything she wants from the fridge or whatever #because shes family. she lived with us most of her life. our home is still her home #but her boyfriend is someone new to this place. he lives differently from us simply because he wasnt a part of our family until recently #technically he can do whatever he wants but i know how awkward can it be to rummage in someone elses fridge #and he shouldnt have to clean the place. because hes a guest #so while my sister is just living here for now i have to do everything for him #and because im already making a meal for him why wouldnt i do it for my sister? #i do it anyway when only she is visiting because i love her #you know honestly im just a better host when there's only one guest. its not that overwhelming #okay also im hungry but i cant eat anything bc of various stupid reasons #mostly just. i dont feel comfortable eating around people i don't know thay much #but also i feel like i cant eat anything if i dont give them that thing too. but they already ate something this evening #there wasnt enough of that meal for three people so i just made them food. but now i fant get anything else for myself #without giving them that thing too but theyre not hungry anymore bc they already ate #and I'm just too fucking tired to make anything for everyone #i want to just make myself some toast or sandwich without having to do a million of them #im just generally tired and hungry and overwhelmed and in pain and i feel so guilty for being those things #ough #bee buzz

[mortyenthusiast]

so what does this mean for rick and morty

#abt slr opsts #since they just released that clip WOTH A NEW VOICE ACTOR WHHAAATTRT thaz crazy #so like i wonder if theyll do the same for rick and morty #wish i had like any idea how much progress theyd made on s7 prior to jstns firing #cause i feel like if you already had all the lines recorded it might seem to costly for adult swim to rerecord lines and pay for- #at least two more peoples voices #i guess slr opsts had it a bit easier with krvo being onky one character and jstn not really... doing anything else #but rnm had jstn voice acting veerryy liberally #i feel like it might be easier? cheaper? for as to just slap a disclaimer at the beginning/end of episodes being like we dont like this guy #it would also reduce the hiatus as well #but also im sure a lot of people wouldnt mind waiting an extra year for new voice actors considering how public the whole situation was #buutrr then again you have to wonder if theyve even found replacement voice actors #like they one found for krvo but rnm is objectively a muuchh bigger show witg way more auditions to sift through #so starting fresh on s8 doesnt seem entirely out of the question to me #IDK we'll wait and see i guess

[1980ssunflower]

aouhhh 🥺💖💙🥰

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙 #tape entry circa 1980 #ngl ive been feeling like a bit sad like... i just miss them sm hfdjks #i just wish so SO soso so badly that i could go home to them both back in the 80s #to be w the loves of my life but ALSO to have someone i can talk music to and we can just talk abt music for hours <33 #i can just talk abt it to them and theyll completely understand and give their own thoughts abt whatever song/band/album im talking abt #and id love to hear them go on long insane rants abt their own favorite albums and for them to show me a new album they listened to #something theyd know i like cause we love the same music genres #fuck i just miss them so much... they understand me more than anyone and get along w me more than ANYONE #i couldnt even try to imagine a person who better suites me than them even if i tried to create the perfect person for me #they just ARE already the epitome of perfection for me like we were made to know and love eachother to get along so well to be inseparable #i love them... god i love them both so much just thinking about them always makes me cry #i almost never cry its only ever because of them that i cry... #i miss them so so fucking much i keep thinking about them throughout the day #just imagining me being w them to be able to kiss and hold them and show them just how much i love them both #actually today i was picturing them here w me which is something i never do #i just love and miss them... i feel lonely and just ah... idk i wish i could go off on an adventure w them rn #i want to escape the life im living rn and just run off on the road w them chasing after our dream of being rockstars #tbh id also just love to experience the train together and get to see all that crazy stuff yknow? would make good song writing material lol #idk i feel like i cant truly get into how much i truly love and miss them w/o sounding super depressed and pathetic tbh #so i keep holding myself back from really expressing how i feel abt them

[kazumasougi]

honestly really worried about one of my dogs lol

#mileposting #i dont knwo what to like. tag this as so let me know or smth if i need to #shes been fine since we got her like she was not in great shape when we found her but yesterday she had like…. #my parents are saying she mightve had a seizure and im SO worried about her #and to make matters worse they wont even take her to a vet because they think theyre not going to do anything #like yeah visits are expensive i know but this is kind of important i hate them so much for this #and like i have to watch her on my own i dont drive so like if something happens while theyre all away i wont be able to do anything #UHHG wish theyd just take her already

[dgot441]

why would heteronormativity be the norm on a monogender planet. which btw is also a thing i hate that all the women come from caminus cus girls come from veeeenus boys come from maaaars and theyre sooooo different and alien to each otheeeer

#i dont blame recent writers for trying to fix whats already established i just wish theyd do away with it #theres she hers theres he hims theyre both from the same planet. why not just be normal about it #txt

[anotheruntitledsong]

i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty

#the golem and the jinni #i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP' #but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is #his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved #which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to #when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change! #and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni #but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him #and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich #what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about) #emotional connection to the jinni in a human way #which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend #(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf) #anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead #BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need #but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart) #which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife #it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me #arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it #if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation #BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him #alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that #although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia #so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE) #BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me #The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are #could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE #im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle #the hidden palace

[parasiticallamb]

i wish i had a choice. i wish i could rot. i dont want to be alive. i dont want to be alive. i dont want to be alive. i dont want to be alive. why cant it ever be my choice

#i dont want to live if i cant choose to stop #there is nothing more of me left of me for me to offer i am unkind and unholy and rotten #and ive bitten so many so few stick around to say otherwise #im stuck. stuck in a body i didnt ask for with people no longer beholden to me #if it were just me in my body i would have killed myself by now as a kindness #there is nothing kind about me staying alive. this is a cruelty. my death would be a gift and yet its refused #they would move on. already i know i will not stay in their hearts not kindly not fondly #ive left a horrible imprint on the world. nothing but harm #i dont want to hurt anyone anymore but my teeth are sharp and my claws forever out #it would be better then to rip it all out and leave myself to bleed from my filthy mouth and cruel used up hands #my life is tragedy upon tragedy and there is no end in sight. i am not allowed to make my own #whose to say that suicide is morally wrong #living like this is wrong. forcing me to live is wrong. i dont want this life anymore #i want this tragedy to be over. the cycle finally broken #if i am to be ugly throughout my whole life grant me the one wish to be pretty upon my deathbed #maybe they will do my hair and quirk my lips up into a smile and do my makeup so i am soft and loveable and holy #and then finally i could bring some joy. closure. and theyd cry maybe but soon theyd realize what a relief its been