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and-claudia · 10 months

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Against All Odds (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

wordcount: 2363

warnings: death, blood, cannon typical violence

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

Ten years. Ten long years in Boston. I couldn’t even tell you what it was like living anywhere else. These ten years felt like twenty and everything before getting here just seemed to melt together. The only thing I could remember was losing everyone. From Ma, Alan, Roy, and Marc on the first night of the outbreak. To Chris in Knoxville.

By the time they made it to Boston, only Zeak, Scott, Pa, and I were left. How had this happened? It wasn’t even the fucking cordyceps that took most of them, only Ma. And now, it was only Pa and I in our little apartment.

Zeak got caught up in some illegal shit. Something about dealing pills to someone. He missed a deadline on a payment. I was told they shoved him off one of the buildings. That story spread like wildfire. Even now, 6 years later you can still hear whispers about the poor country boy who got too big for his britches.

Scott died about a year ago. Our block was notorious for fireflies breaking out in gunfights. Scott got caught in the crossfire. I found him, shot full of bullet holes in the alley by our building. He was only a few feet from the door. He had almost made it. I held him as he bled to death in my lap, knowing there was nothing I could do. Even after his hand that was grasping mine went limp, I held on. He was all I had. Pa still resented me for what happened to Chris, even with his memory failing him, he remembered that much. The nightly patrol found us and took his body from me and escorted me upstairs.

When I got there, his blood was still all over me.

“Where the hell have you been, girl?”

“You’re not wonderin’ where Scott is?” I asked.

“He’s a man he knows how to handle himself just fine.”

“Really? You wanna know whose blood this is?” I snapped.

He stayed silent.

“It’s Scotts. You hear those gunshots earlier? Yeah, those landed themselves in your son. He bled to death out in the alleyway. He’s gone! He’s dead! Just like everyone else! You happy, Pa? Huh? You gonna blame me for this one too?”

I did wait for him to answer. I stormed out of the small living room and went into the bedroom.

After that, Pa and I hardly talked. His memory got worse. I swear there towards the end he couldn’t remember why he hated me just that he did and that was that. But we were all each other had left. So when he died, it still hurt. I was now alone.

But life goes on. I found him in his bed yesterday morning. I knew he’d be getting tossed in the burn pit today. Just my luck that is where I was stationed to work. I got up, got dressed, and headed out.

I said hi to the regulars I saw along my route. Despite the events of yesterday, I went on with a smile. No need to make my problems anyone else’s or make anyone feel my sorrow with me. A few of them offered me their sympathy, which I took gratefully.

I checked in at the workstation and then went to my assigned area. As I scanned the area I didn’t see anyone I recognized. Sometimes that was nice other times it was nice to have someone to talk to, it helped pass the time.

Work went by uneventfully until I saw him.

"Careful with that one!" The words left my mouth before I realized it.

The man that was about to pull my father's corpse out of the truck gave me a weird look.

"Sorry." I said quickly.

"You know him?" He asked. I couldn’t tell if his tone was sympathetic or just annoyed.

"My dad." I said, stepping over to help him.

He gave a small nod, “Give me a hand then.”

We hauled him over and tossed him into the pit. I took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay.

"Don't cry. Not here." The man mumbled, patting my arm roughly and I nodded.

We continued to work in silence after that. Until we were leaving at least, then I spoke up again.

"Hey, I don't see you around often. Do you jump jobs or something?" I asked.

He nodded, "I go for whatever's paying the most at the moment."

"Well, what's paying right now?" I asked.

"Why would I tell you?"

"Look man, we just tossed my father into the pit. I'm kinda on my own now. I need money." I reasoned.

He sighed and I could tell he was thinking it over.

"Come on." He nodded for me to follow.

It definitely wasn’t going to be the funnest job, none of them were, but money is money.

"Thank you..."

"Joel."

"Yn. It's nice to meet you." I said holding out my hand for him.

He nodded and shook it. Then we went our separate ways.

The next morning I found him fairly quickly as we headed in for our shift.

"Good morning," I said quite cheerfully.

He side-eyed me, clearly not happy to be up so early.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" He huffed.

"I woke up this morning."

"And...?"

"That's it. I'm alive to see another day." I explained.

"You're optimistic." He gruffed.

I smiled at him, as I opened the lid on my thermos. I took a drink and nearly gagged before holding it over to him.

“What is that?”

“Why don’t you tell me.” I nodded to it to signal him to take a whiff.

His eyes went wide when he smelt what it was.

“Have some.”

He hesitated before taking the thermos and taking a drink of it. I watched with a small smile as the coffee visibly woke him up more.

‘That’s so good shit right there.”

“My old man had a stash of it that I was never allowed to touch… I hate it. The rest of what I have is yours if you want it.” I offered.

“What do you want for it?” He asked, clearly skeptical of my offer.

“Nothin’.” I shrugged.

“That’s a lie. Everyone here wants something for something. Nothing is free. So what do you want for it? I willin’ to bet I can get my hands on it.” He said.

“Damn, you’re determined to get some coffee, aren’t you? How about a friend?” I asked. To be honest despite his rough exterior and not knowing him long I was warming up to him. I didn’t really have friends so why not.

“What?”

“Look, I don’t really have anyone anymore, so yeah, a friend would be nice right now.”

His face softened and he held out his hand for me to shake, “Deal.” he said with a small smile.

I smiled back at him as I took his hand and shook it.

Our friendship grew from that day on. We worked nearly every day together. And even spent our days off together. One afternoon we were sitting on the roof of my apartment building having lunch when he asked me where I was from.

“Texas.” I replied.

“No, shit, me too.” He said with a small smile.

“I feel like now would be the time where I am supposed to ask what part of Texas but, I honestly wouldn’t know the difference,” I admitted.

“It’s okay, what part were you from?”

“Canton.”

“Oh, I know that place, cute little town.” He commented.

Things were great, then I met Tess. She didn't like me much and didn’t seem too keen on my joining them outside of the city but Joel eventually convinced her.

Then about a year after we met things went south for me. My block was taken over by the FireFlies. I got caught in the crossfire. I collected what I could of my belongings, which wasn't much, to begin with. I made it out with a shot to my shoulder. It hurt like bitch but I kept going I made it to Joel's and pounded on his door to be let in.

He threw it open and his face dropped when he saw the blood seeping through my top.

"What the hell?" He pulled me into his apartment.

"Fire Flies." I answered.

"Gunshot?"

I nodded and all but collapsed into the chair at the table.

"Hey, stay awake." He said to me before calling for Tess.

"Why'd the kid bleeding?" She said, almost annoyed.

"I'm not kid." I shot back.

"Cut it out you two! Get the tweezers." He said to her, she sighed and grabbed them, getting ready to help me.

Joel began reaching for the hem of my top.

"I gotta take this off, okay?" He asked gently.

"Buy me dinner first." I joked, not really thinking about the consequences of my words, but we flirted all the time so it shouldn’t be an issue.

He laughed a little and slowly and carefully took it off. I hissed in pain.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Where?" Tess asked large tweezers in her hand.

"Back of shoulder." I said leaning forward.

She went to work and the moment I felt the cool metal touch the raw flesh I flinched.

"Damnit, stay still, kid!" She reprimanded me.

"Sorry, hurts." My eyes watered.

She went in again and I flinched.

"Okay, Yn, imma hold you down, okay?" Joel asked.

I nodded lazily.

"Keep your eyes open." He said, holding me down to the table.

I felt the cold metal touch my skin once again but didn't flinch this time.

"Fuck!" I gasped in a breath of air as I felt her pinch the raw flesh of my wound instead of the bullet.

"That's not the bullet you fucker, that's me!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Joel, it's wedged in there..." Tess said quietly.

"Just cut it out. I few extra stitches is better than dying of infection." I said reaching for my knife in my pocket.

I got it and tossed it on the table. Joel quickly grabbed it and poured some alcohol on it to disinfect as best he could.

"Can I hold your hand?" I asked, holding out my good arm.

He nodded and slid his hand into mine. I squeezed the hell out of it as I felt the blade cut into my shoulder.

"Breathe, Yn. You gotta breathe through it." Joel said, taking deep breaths to get me to mime him.

Focusing on him helped and soon enough it was all over and I was stitched up.

"There you go kid." Tess said, patting my other shoulder.

"M'not kid." I slurred as I leaned more into the table.

"Here go lay down on my bed, you'll be more comfortable." He said, helping me stand.

I stumbled but he was quick to catch me, "Can I borrow a shirt? I got blood on mine."

He laughed a little, "Yeah I'll get you one in a minute."

Once he got me into a new shirt and laying down he sat beside me on the bed.

"Sorry bout the floor. I'll clean it later."

"Don't worry bout that. Just rest." He said, giving me one last look over before standing to leave.

“Wait…” I called out and he stopped.

“Will you stay with me?” I asked quietly.

Joel stayed silent for a moment, “I’ll be right back.”

He left and I could hear muffled voices through the walls but couldn’t make out what was being said. Then I heard the door slam and a few moments later Joel walked in. I gave him a confused look.

“What happened?”

He shook his head, “Tess left. It’s okay. Get some rest.”

“You too, come on.” I used my good arm to lift the blanket up beside me.

I could tell he thought about it for a moment. But a moment later he was shedding his boots and crawling into the bed beside me. From that night on we shared a bed. Our relationship grew more and more and although we never officially defined it, we understood that we had something together.

A little over a year after that night was my first time leaving the QZ. I was very nervous but Joel assured me everything would be okay and that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. It was the night before we were supposed to leave. Joel and I were laying in bed together and I couldn’t settle down.

“Be still.” He mumbled.

“Sorry.” I tried not to sniffle but failed.

He pushed himself to sit up and turned on the small lamp beside him, “What’s wrong?”

I bit my lip trying not to break down, I was embarrassed by how scared I was to leave the QZ. Part of me was still very insecure that I was so much younger than he was. I never wanted him to think that I was immature. I sat up with him and pulled my knees to my chest.

“I don’t know if I should go tomorrow…” I whispered.

“Why not? Did Tess say somethin’ to you? Because she’s just trying to get in your head. We’ve never taken anyone out with us before. It’s more risky, but I promise you’ll be fine.”

“How do you know?!” I snapped at him, “How do you know?” I repeated much quieter as the tears began to fall as the memories of being attacked by an infected all those years ago resurfaced.

Joel pulled me to sit between his legs as he held me tight.

“What happened, sweetheart?” He asked gently.

“On our trip here from Knoxville, we were less than 5 miles away from the QZ, I got attacked…” I continued to tell the story of what happened that day and how Scott had helped me.

“Sweetheart, I promise, nothing is going to happen to you tomorrow.” He said gently, pressing a kiss to my temple.

He continued to hold me before I began falling asleep in his arms. Then he carefully laid us back down but continued to hold me close as we both drifted off to sleep.

I had to fix the taglist, if you're tag is not working please let me know.

@sexyvixen7

@joelmillerslays

@elliaze

@strawbab

@little-lovely-darling

@swimmjacket

@watercolorskyy

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@beelanie

@fan-g0rl

@paige96

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@rileyferg

@belliedellie

@rhaenyrasgf

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@letmehavemyfictionalmen

#joel miller smut #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x reader fluff #joel miller x pregnant reader #joel miller tlou #joel miller #joel x reader #hbo tlou #tlou show

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white-poppie · 7 months

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C꩜de Red! (hcs.ft Yan!Manila Mikey)

SYNOPSIS: Headcanons of Yandere Manila Mikey taking care of you while you are on your period REQUEST: "Hii! Could I get a yandere manila Mikey x darling who is on her period? GENRE: HEADCANONS, YANDERE! fluff WARNINGS: Reader has a Uterus, ooc mikey, mentions of blood (obv), overprotectiveness, Mikey being too clingy, a littol toxic behaviour, jealousy ୨୧ CHARACTERS: Yandere!Mikey x Gn!reader-(uterus haver)

Yandere Mikey?? Boy be prepared for random bursts of emotions, possessiveness, mood swings and irritative behaviour...you might actually think he is the one who is on his period lmao.

Yan!Manila Mikey is a very possessive and protective person, and expect him to become even more overbearing and clingy.

Doesn't like you going out in general cause it makes him anxious, you are so innocent and the world is so scary, he's just so worried about your safety. But he cannot control your life so he's made peace with it (correction: tries to make peace with it.)

But while you are having the big red? Oh boy..you are not going anywhere. You'll stay in bed, Mikey would get you soup, cuddles, watch Pride and Prejudice for the nth time yada yada, he'll do anything.

He'll bring you your favourite snacks and drinks and cuddle you the entire time, he'll massage your back give you forehead kisses, and basically loves pampering you during this time!

But if you have to go out because of some stupid class or meeting at work? Expect him to show up during lunchtime with a hot meal :) It's annoying but endearing. (please eating cold food during periods is so weird uhuhu)

Mikey would keep track of your menstrual cycle to know when to expect your period. This way, he can be prepared and have everything you need. Mikey is highly protective of you all the time, but he becomes even more so when you're on your period.

Mikey is also a little bit possessive when you're on your period. He doesn't want anyone else to see you in your vulnerable state.

Probably the only time he wouldn't get angry if you give him attitude. He knows that you may be more irritable or emotional than usual, and he's always prepared to handle it.

You can cry as much as you want to. He'll hug you close and whisper sweet nothings to you, he's not the best at words, but you appreciate it nonetheless.

Plus it's advantageous to this koala because he loves sleeping and you guys can thus stay longer in bed.

Would give you a lower back massage to help you relax, he's pretty good at it too!

Doesn't care if you soil the sheets accidentally, he'll wash them for you without any problem. I have a drabble for this here: Shark week!

Mikey's overprotectiveness can be a bit suffocating at times, but he truly believes that he's just trying to help you.

— TOKYO REVENGERS - Fanfictions

﹒ Taglist (lmk in the comments in case you wanna be added and the link doesn't work!)

psst, hey, over here! Uhm hi :) Do you like reading? If so can you please check out my first novel? I am a 15-year-old author who needs support, I assure you it won't disappoint! It's okay if you don't buy, it would be enough to share the link with someone else who might be interested! I humbly request you support my career as a child author by purchasing my book. This would help me to write more books in future. “Of Vengeance and Ashes” -> BUY NOW!!!!

Also Check out: L'appel du vide (✔️) (Synopsis: Your husband, Hanma Shuji is dead! With no memories of what transpired two days before his death, you team up with Tachibana Naoto, Chifuyu Matsuno, Ryuguji Ken and Mitsuya Takashi, you go on a journey full of betrayals and twists. Can you find out what really happened to your husband? 🌼 ☕🪐🧸🦋)

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bella-rose29 · 6 months

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Not Your Lover - Chapter 6 (18+ version)

This is the 18+ version of Chapter 6.

For the safer version (whether that be because you're under 18 or just don't want to read it), please go here <3 (I tried my best to make it less explicit, so please please please let me know if I need to edit anymore because I wanna make sure that everybody can enjoy reading)

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: swearing, sex, like really explicit oral I won't lie to you, look away if you're not comfy with that (I'm sorry), davor is still stalking bc he has no life or personality

Tag list: idk who to tag tbh so I've tagged everyone in the safer part and linked this version to it :)

Y/n and Nikolai had settled into a routine within the first two days of staying in the same room, and he was starting to blur the lines in his head of what was real and what was fake.

It was dangerous, walking this line, especially since one wrong move could ruin everything that the two of them had built, but Nikolai knew that he was extremely close to throwing himself fully past reality. They had kept the pillow wall the first night, but when they had woken in roughly the same position as they had the first time that they shared a bed it made sense to forgo the divider completely. Neither of them appeared to be acknowledging it while asleep, and it saved some effort in the evening when they were getting ready for bed.

Work on the building had continued in much the same way as before, although Nikolai noticed that there was a little more tension in the air than usual. None of this was helped by the fact that he couldn't let his demon out at night anymore, and had resorted to staying late at the mansion after Y/n had headed back to the hotel room so that it stopped giving him a headache. Davor was still watching the two of them, following Nikolai around when he tried to go on a late night walk to take his demon fishing, and it was starting to get annoying. He had half a mind to confront the man, but somehow whenever Nikolai actually wanted to see Davor, he wasn't anywhere to be found. Y/n had mentioned that he was doing the same to her, but she didn't seem nearly as bothered about it.

Currently they were working on the floorboards of the first room, having pulled up the old ones and throwing them out, and Nikolai couldn't help but stare at Y/n every now and then as she worked. His demon snickered at him in his head, and Nikolai muttered a quiet "shut up" under his breath.

"Sorry? Did you say something?"

"Huh? No, nothing."

"Oh. Never mind."

They worked in silence again after that, the only sounds being the new floorboards being put down.

By the time sunset came around a few hours later, they'd managed to lay the whole floor, and Nikolai had replaced the windows, letting in the evening sun. He wiped his brow, wishing more than anything that he could take off some layers (but that would mean showing his scars for longer than a few seconds, and he didn't feel like having that conversation with Y/n yet. She'd probably also stab him or something).

"You alright? You look pretty sweaty."

"Yeah, I'm alright. Hopefully this heatwave brings in tourists," he replied, turning to look at her. That was a mistake, apparently, since he couldn't do anything but think about how gorgeous she looked in the golden light streaming in and lighting up her skin, making her look ethereal.

He was so screwed, and he knew that there wasn't any coming back now. He'd very nearly kissed her the other night, when she'd come in crying about her mother and he'd wiped away her tears, but the demon just had to pick that moment to make a noise. Nikolai had scolded it the whole way back to the hotel, and it had the good grace to at least seem sorry for getting in the way.

It had been a little awkward since, neither of them saying anything about the fact that they had very nearly kissed purely because they felt like it, and the tension was starting to kill Nikolai. They kept waking up tangled in each other too, and although he knew he shouldn't, he held on to her a little longer in the mornings, and his touch lingered a moment more when he passed her things. Whether she'd noticed, he had no idea, but at least she hadn't told him to stop being weird yet.

~~~

Nik was being weird.

He kept staring at Y/n, for one, and every now and then he would hold on to her for longer than fake boyfriends probably should. He was staring now, in fact, although why she had no idea. She was covered in dirt and sweat from working all day, both in the bakery and in the mansion, and she definitely needed a bath. Maybe he was staring at her because of that? Yeah, that made more sense. Although when she looked at him (not that she was sneaking glances or anything), she couldn't deny how gorgeous he looked in the light, the sunset making his golden hair glow.

He kept talking to himself too, and Y/n was starting to worry that he was going mad. She'd talked to Gregor about it that morning, and apparently Nik was doing it while he worked in the workshop. Gregor also looked like he knew something else, but despite Y/n's best efforts she couldn't get it out of him. The man was notoriously good at keeping secrets, but if it was about Nik then she wanted to know.

"I'm sure he'll tell you in his own time, Y/n/n," was all he had said, and Y/n had huffed and left not long after.

She snapped herself out of her thoughts, blush rising when she realised that she'd zoned out looking at him, and turned back to the wall that she was painting. They'd done good work today; Nik had managed to get the new windows in with the help of her father, and the three of them had finished off the floor. Y/n had picked out the paint a while ago, and had made a start on covering the walls.

"You know," she started, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Nik turn to face her. "I think we can do this. How long have we got left now, eight days?"

"Yeah, I think so. There's still the two other rooms to do though. I know they're both clear but it's going to be a stretch to get them done on top of this one. It's taken us this long to get this room nearly ready."

"What happened to mister 'we can do it!', huh? I've got a plan, don't worry."

"Is your plan hiring the entirety of Taya? Because I might be an optimist but this is bordering on impossible."

"I thought that nothing was impossible, only improbable," she quipped, mocking his voice.

"Was that... was that meant to be me?"

"I thought it was an excellent impression. Did you have a problem with it? I mean, personally I thought there were two of you for a moment."

Nik laughed, shaking his head. "You're ridiculous," he said, looking at her fondly. Y/n smiled lightly back at him, and they got lost in each others' gazes. Nik suddenly snapped out of it, whipping his head back to the curtain pole he was adjusting. Y/n moved her own attention back to the wall, feeling her face heat up.

Shit.

~~~

An hour or so later, the sun had fully set, and Nikolai had had to turn the chandelier on in the room so that he and Y/n could continue to work. The demon had, for once, helped Nikolai out, since its laughing at Nikolai and Y/n gazing at each other made him realise what he was doing. He'd quickly gone back to what he was doing, and a moment later he heard the brush of the paint on the wall.

Now they were in separate rooms, and Nikolai had looked to check that the demon wouldn't be seen before letting it out.

"No noise, alright? The second you make a noise you're back in, understood?" The demon had nodded and padded off into a corner of the room, starting to use its tail as a brush, collecting the remaining rubbish on the floor. Nikolai felt proud of it once more, seeing it trying to help, and hoped that it had learned something valuable from working hard. Saints, he sounded like the demon's teacher. Nikolai frowned, shuffling furniture around the room. He supposed he was in a way, teaching it how to be nicer. Maybe he'd be able to let it out more if he knew it would behave. He was glad for the distraction of the demon, since it stopped him from thinking too hard about Y/n, and having to keep half an eye on the little bastard was rather entertaining at times. It was a little like having a child, except the child was quite literally a demonic entity of darkness and destruction that enjoyed ripping people's faces off and generally making their lives complete and utter misery. Nikolai suddenly wondered if that was how Baghra had felt about the Darkling, and shuddered at the thought of baby Aleksander. The demon noticed, growling lowly at its creator, and Nikolai called it over softly, careful not to alert Y/n.

"Come here, that's it, there we go," he whispered, settling on the floor as his demon came and rested its head on his lap. It was strange, doing this, but he could sense that his demon was disturbed by Nikolai's thoughts of the Darkling. While the man had been responsible for the separation between Nikolai and his demon, the latter now shared the resentment that Nikolai harboured. No doubt it was remembering the battle with Fjerda too, and the multiple brushes with death. Since then they had only become closer, reaching an agreement that they would die for each other if needed.

"Nik? You alright in there?" Both Nikolai and his demon turned to look at the doorway where Y/n's voice had come from, and they glanced at each other before the demon crept off into the shadows.

"Yep, I'm alright." He pushed himself off of the floor just as Y/n walked in, paint on her trousers.

"I think I'm gonna head out now, I've done what I can on the walls. You coming?"

"Yeah, sure. Let me just grab my things," he smiled, and she returned it, heading back into the front room. He took the demon back in, telling it to stop fussing and hurry up, and followed her out, collecting his jacket from where he'd slung it over one of the armchairs.

~~~

They made it back to the hotel no problem, although Y/n could have sworn that she saw Davor following them when they went round a corner, and when they were up in Nik's room he pulled out a bottle of kvas and two glasses.

"Drink?"

"Sure."

Davor following them wasn't too disturbing for Y/n, given he was a deeply untrusting person and was probably trying to expose Nik and Y/n's relationship for what it was, but Nik seem more concerned. He brought it up as he poured, passing one glass to Y/n and taking his own over to the sofa in front of the fireplace. Despite the heatwave, the hotel room was somehow freezing (Y/n had no idea how the owners managed it), so they'd lit a fire.

"You really aren't worried about him stalking us?"

"No, not really. Why are you so worked up about it?"

"Um... because it's stalking? It's quite literally illegal. Also, what happens if he finds out none of this is real?"

Her heart hurt at his words, but she quickly dismissed it as nothing. "Nobody will believe him if he says anything, because they like us a whole lot more. Everybody knows he likes stirring up trouble for no good reason, and I've got a reputation, hell, you have a reputation now. We'll be fine." She sipped her kvas, grateful for the burn as it went down. It stopped her thinking too hard about Nik.

"If you're sure," he frowned, and Y/n wanted to smooth the lines on his face with her fingertips. He settled into the sofa next to her having finished fiddling with the fire, and it was cramped enough that his thigh brushed against hers. She pulled her legs up, turning so that her back was resting against the arm and she was facing him. Nik angled his body slightly so that he was looking towards her, shifting in his seat in a way that had Y/n hiding behind her glass and trying desperately to not think too hard about his lap. "You alright?" he asked, amusement in his eyes and a smirk on his face, and Saints damn it she was blushing and he fucking knew it.

"Yeah, I'm alright." He hummed, and Y/n felt her cheeks grow even warmer. "What? I am!"

"Okay! You just look a little... flushed," he responded, and she could hear the laughter in his voice, making her glare at him. "There it is! I've missed that glare," he joked, only succeeding in deepening her frown.

"Fuck off," she muttered as she sipped her kvas, and he laughed, loud and bellowing. Saints, she wanted to make him laugh more often.

Sleeping next to Nik tonight would be difficult, she decided as she watched him.

~~~

A few hours and half a bottle of kvas later, Nik and Y/n had loosened up significantly, and were spilling secrets that she would never dare to tell him were she sober.

He'd confessed that he was absolutely terrified of spiders, having been nicknamed 'Nikolai the spider squealer' by his childhood best friend, and was considered a general menace to society as a small boy.

"Oh yeah, I find that so difficult to believe," Y/n giggled sarcastically, and Nik's responding pout only made her laugh harder.

"What is that supposed to mean? I am an absolute delight to have around!" He put on a look of offence, and Y/n nearly spilled her drink when she held her sides from laughing. "Seriously!" He was laughing now, spluttering as he spoke and unable to get words out properly. A few minutes later when they'd calmed down enough (it took a while since whenever they looked at each other they burst out laughing again), he spoke up again. "Go on, your turn. I think it's been my turn the last three times," he frowned, trying to count in his head. Y/n thought for a moment, before coming up with something.

"Saints, I don't know why I'm even gonna tell you this," she laughed, pressing her hand to her forehead. "Okay. So, basically, I've never... I have never... you know." She waved her hand in the general direction of her lower half. Nik's eyes went wide.

"Wait. You've never had an orgasm?"

"No, I haven't!"

"No wonder you're so fucking grumpy all the time, Saints!"

"Oi! It's not exactly my fault! Davor never could and neither can I, I gave up trying to get myself off like six months ago."

"Bet I could," Nik said, sipping his drink.

"...What?"

"I said I bet I could."

They looked at each other, Nik studying her over his glass and Y/n feeling increasingly flustered at the direction their conversation had taken.

"Prove it."

He said nothing, still just looking her, and she was starting to regret her words. "Sorry. Stupid idea. Forget it." She turned her face away, staring into the fire. He was yet to say anything, and the atmosphere turned awkward.

"Are you?" he said, and Saints, why was his voice so low? "Are you sorry?"

"No," she whispered, and she was hyper-aware of the sound of his glass clinking against the side table as he set it down. She turned to look at him, breath leaving her body at the sight of him closer than before, eyes filled with something dangerous. She put her own glass down, nearly spilling it since she hadn't taken her eyes off of Nik. "Why?"

"Because I want to prove it."

Something snapped then, and Y/n surged forward to grab at his shirt with her hands and pull him in for a kiss. He didn't seem to know what to do with himself for a moment, but after barely a second he was responding, wrapping his arms around her waist as he pulled her into his lap, moaning softly, and Saints she wanted him to do it all over again. Her hands moved up to play with his hair the way that she'd wanted to since their first kiss in the square all those days ago, tangling in the locks and tugging every now and then as his hands grasped her hips. She wasn't sure how long they were there for, exploring each other his their hands and tongues, but every second of it was just as good as she'd imagined. He'd moved her hair out of the way to kiss down her neck, alternating between soft kisses and gently biting the skin, drawing sounds out of her that Davor never could. "Nik," she whispered into his hair, not missing the way his grip tightened on her hips. He slowly dragged his head back up, kissing as he went, before he pressed another to her mouth.

"Yeah?" His pupils were blown, the blue of his eyes nearly non-existent, and his lips were slightly swollen from kissing her.

"You gonna prove it or not?" she breathed, and he could only stare at her for a moment before nodding, and then she felt his hands at the top of her trousers, pulling up the fabric of her shirt. He hadn't taken his eyes off of her, silently asking if this was still alright, and they only broke eye contact when her shirt slipped over her head, landing on the floor a second later. He pulled her back in, kisses a little more gentle than before, and Y/n went to take Nik's shirt off. He hesitated slightly, and she paused, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. "This okay? You don't have to, if it's... I just... wanted to feel you, I guess." She blushed at the admission, and he smiled softly at her.

"It's okay, darling," and Saints she'd forgotten how her stomach dipped at the pet name. "I've just... got a lot of scars," he whispered, and Y/n immediately went to reassure him.

"That's okay. You're helping me out, not talking about your scars. but equally if you wanna do that then I'll listen," she said, pressing a kiss to his forehead, and she practically felt him melt under her. He moved back a little, giving himself room to take his clothes off. Nik paused for a moment, looking at his gloves, then made a decision and yanked them off, chucking them on to the side table next to his discarded drink. He glanced back up at her, waiting for her reaction as he settled his hands lightly on top of her thighs. Y/n could only stare at them, reaching out to hold one with her own hand but not quite touching. Most of the veins were black, and his fingers were the same, and as Y/n finally took hold of his hand, lacing their fingers together and turning his arm in her grip she noticed that the black veins continued partway up his forearms. "What..." She didn't finish, not sure where to go from there. Nik was transfixed by their interlocked hands, and his thumb was stroking hers.

"The Darkling," was his only response, and Y/n didn't know what to do other than press a gentle kiss to his mouth, cupping his face with her free hand. She pulled away, resting her forehead against his, and her hand moved down to rest over his heart.

"Does it hurt?"

"No. Not anymore."

She kissed him again, slow and careful, still holding his hand in hers.

"Do you wanna carry on?"

"Yes," he said into her mouth, hands sliding up higher on her thighs, pulling her closer to him, and Saints, he wasn't lying. She moved her hands to his shirt, tugging at the hem and lifting the fabric all the way off. Her fingers traced the lines of his chest, spending extra time on the scars and marks she found, and Nik's hands came up to rest on her back, pulling her flush against him. They kissed again, this time with more hunger, and in a sudden movement Nik had flipped them so that Y/n was lying on the sofa, legs half dangling off the edge as he situated himself between them, never taking his lips off of hers. He bit her lip, and she moaned as he slipped his tongue inside, hands moving over her sides as he shifted his hips into hers. Her grip tightened on his hair, and this time it was his turn to groan as he moved to kiss down her neck again. Nik tugged at the laces of her undershirt, pulling the clothing off a moment later and flinging it to the side. He stopped, sat up and staring down at her chest, and Y/n went to cover herself. Before she could, he'd grabbed her hands, shaking his head at her. "None of that, darling. You're stunning."

He lowered himself back down, nose brushing her chest as he asked for permission. She didn't hesitate, using her hands in his hair to all but shove him further into her, and a brief moment later he was lavishing her with his mouth again. He moved further down her body when he was satisfied he'd done enough, leaving a trail of kisses as he went, and then he was taking off her belt and looking up at her from where he now kneeled on the floor between her thighs.

"This okay, Y/n?"

"Yes," she breathed, helping him to take the rest of her clothes off. Nik kissed his way across her inner thighs, touching her everywhere but where she needed him most, and his hand on her hips was preventing her from pushing up. Annoyingly he was going to prove his point eventually, and Y/n could only begin to imagine how cocky he would be. All thoughts of anything but Nik went out of her head when he suddenly kissed her there, tentative and experimental, and Saints, the smug smirk he had on his face at her responding moan was enough to make her want to go right back to hating him.

She lost all sense of time as Nik touched her, drawing out new sounds with every movement. The hand that wasn't holding her down was helping to bring her closer, and somewhere in the haze of her pleasure Y/n thought about his blackened fingers on her skin and inside her and she gripped his hair tighter (she also had a vague thought that his scalp would hurt after this, but he didn't seem to mind at the moment), urging him to keep going.

He did, never once stopping his actions until he'd pushed her over the edge, hold on her hips getting stronger (she'd have bruises, she was sure) as she shook, and then again when he did it for a second time.

He moved back up her body a while after, having left soft kisses behind as she came down from the high, and when she brought his face down to kiss her it was soft and more loving than it should have been given they weren't actually together.

"You alright?" he asked, nose nudging against her cheek. She could only nod, wiped out. She could feel him smiling, the cheeky fucker, and she half-heartedly slapped his arm, trying to not think too hard about how toned it was. "What?" he smiled, pulling back to look at her.

"Nothing, just, you're a lot more... I don't know," she trailed off, blushing at his stare. "You have very nice arms," she decided on, and Nik's immediate laughter made her flush even more. "Shut up," she mumbled, turning her face to hide in the back of the sofa. She felt Nik's hand cup her chin, bringing her face back towards his as he planted a kiss on her lips, lingering for a while.

"Thank you," he whispered, amused smile still present. "You have very nice tits, if that helps."

"Nik!"

~~~

Nikolai had no idea where the two of them went from here, but he wouldn't take back a single second of it.

He'd helped clean Y/n up, and then had helped her move to the bed, passing her one of his clean shirts to sleep in. He went without the gloves as he got into bed next to her, leaving them sat on the table in front of the fire. He was just pulling his boots off when he felt Y/n's fingers on his back, tracing over the scars from the demon's wings. Her hands flattened on his back, then moved around his torso and under his arms as she pushed herself against him, pulling his head to hers to kiss him. The angle was awkward, so Nikolai shook his boots off and turned around, cupping her cheek to deepen the kiss. He clambered in next to her, breaking away, and pulled the sheets up over them. At Y/n's pout he simply chuckled, and brought her down to lie next to him, and she slung her arm over his chest and her leg over his, falling asleep not long after.

Nikolai stayed awake a while longer, thinking over everything that had happened. He really didn't know where they went from here, but no matter what, he needed to tell her the truth before they got too far in.

Chapter 7

#grishaverse #netflix shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lanstov x y/n #nikolai x y/n

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myfandomlikesandstories · 9 months

Text

Moving

Jonathan Levi x gn!reader

Genre: angst, comfort

Summary: Jonathan brings up moving to a smaller house. Eva doesn't like it at all, and for you it hits close to home.

Warnings: references to divorce.

Word count: 932

A/N: this is genuinely just me processing my own trauma. Made a fic of it, have fun!

Jonathan and you were at your apartment, drinking in your kitchen. Eva was with Mira for the weekend, so you decided to talk about the events of a few days past.

It was a regular Tuesday, really. Jonathan invited you over for lunch, an invitation you happily took on, being his best friend and the godparent of his daughter. You've always been close, since you met at college. Your bond was beyond anything - always there for each other, always the first to know and last to leave. The best company.

When Eva was born, Jonathan and Mira decided to make you her godparent, "officiating your third wheeling", as you sometimes joked. It had a seed of truth, since you were practically Eva's third parent. It was a good position to be in, as it made you "the cool one".

So that Tuesday, the three of you sat at the table for lunch, when Jonathan brought up the fact he's been looking at houses. Smaller ones. To move into.

Eva didn't take lightly to that. Once she understood what it meant, leaving her home, she voiced her disagreement by bursting into tears. The little girl was screaming that she doesn't want to leave, and pushed Jonathan away when he tried to hug her. Eventually she ran to her room and slammed the door.

Jonathan was rather shocked, he didn't imagine it would go this way. "She's always so excited when she sleeps away from home, I thought she'd be happy! Obviously we're not going to move right now, it was just an option. I thought she doesn't really like it here anymore either." He told you. "I should go to her."

You put your hand on his shoulder for him to stay. "Give her a moment. I'll go."

A few minutes later, you knocked on her door. She told you to leave, but let you in after some conversation.

Eva let you sit on her bed after her crying died down.

"No one is going anywhere, munchkin. This is your house, and it's staying that way. You're not moving anywhere. It's okay." You told her.

"Bu - but dad said we might live somewhere else! I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go!!!" The little girl pleaded, tears filling her eyes again. She burrowed into you and you held her, petting her hair. "Shhhh... It's not happening. Everything's okay. Everything's okay."

--------------------

Jonathan leaned on the counter, swirling the wine in his glass. "I really don't understand though," he said, "she's not happy there. We both sleep in what used to be my study. The top floor is basically just storage, and she won't go there on her own. It's too big!"

"You're right. It really is too big. But so is this situation." You were a child of divorced parents, and remembered what it was like when one of them moved out.

"It's not actually about the house, Jonathan. It's about the routine, about the familiarity. It's what she knows. And kids are naturally sentimental. They're connected to their things, especially in times of crisis." You commented and took a sip from your own glass.

"Tell me more?" He inquired. "I want to understand."

You sighed. It wasn't the easiest of topics for you. "She wants things as similar to how they were, Jon. She used to have a family until a few months ago."

Jonathan looked offended. "She has a family. We didn't evaporate the second Mira left."

"I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry." You took a deep breath. "She's five, man. I was her age when my folks spilt. She feels like she doesn't have a family anymore. It doesn't matter matter how many inclusive family dynamics books you read to her, it's still a fucking earthquake. Her world doesn't look like it used to, and it never will."

Jonathan noticed your voice cracking slightly and set his wine down on the counter as he moved closer to you.

"Trust me, there's NOTHING she wants more right now than to have things back how they were. For years after they separated, I still tried to hug both my parents at once. Just grabbed them and smushed them together. Made them absolutely miserable. Eva knows, Jon. She knows she'll never get a family group hug from both her parents, ever again. Imagine that for a child, eh?"

Your throat was already closing when you said: "She wants to stay in that house because the thing she wants most in the world is for Mira to walk back through that door!" You sobbed.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jonathan said, taking away your glass and putting his hand on your arm.

"I'm sorry," you chocked out. "Please don't hug me."

"Okay, alright," he said in a calming, quiet voice. "I'm not going to if you don't want to. Could you just look at me please?"

You signed for him to wait while you steadied yourself, and then looked into his eyes.

"I am not your father." He said. "And you're not my kid. You're a fully grown adult, with a say in this situation. You are not five again. What you say matters. I am not your father, and I'm listening to you."

That's what it took for you to dissolve in tears. He opened his arms and you fell into them, sobbing into his shoulder while he rubbed your back.

"It's okay," he reassured. "Crying doesn't make you any lesser. You're okay."

"I love you, Jonathan." You mumbled into him after a few minutes.

He squeezed you harder.

"I love you too."

Just tagging some mutuals, I'm sorry if you're not interested in scenes from a marriage, feel free to ignore:

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MASTERLIST

@ivystoryweaver @writingforcurrentobsessions2 @romanarose @eyelessfaces @spider-starry @luke-o-lophus @my-secret-shame

#my post #scenes from a marriage #scenes from a marriage fanfic #sfam #sfam fanfic #scenes from a marriage fanfiction #scenes from a marriage angst #Jonathan levi angst #jonathan levi x gn reader #jonathan levi x male reader #jonathan levi x reader #angst #comfort

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boygiwrites · 8 months

Text

Harley D. Dixon 15

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note. As usual, please enjoy reading, everyone :) <3

Title might give it away, but we've all been waiting for this chapter winky wink

"How long's this girl been lost, exactly?"

"This'll be day five, now."

This'll be day three of my Dad bein' unconscious, I muse to myself solemnly, sitting nearby. It's the next morning, now, and with Dad's treatment more promising and Glenn taking iron supplements to help replace all the nutrients he lost from the blood he gave, people have decided that it's time to resume the search for Sophia. It's not gonna be an easy task, no matter how you spin it. By now, she could be anywhere. If I had five days to walk anywhere in the world, I could be halfway across the country already.

As I watch a brown butterfly flitter elegantly along the edge of the truck bed, lost in thought, Rick smooths a map out across the hood.

"Country survey map." He announces. "It shows terrains and elevations for fifty miles. We'll grid the whole area; search in teams."

"Finally get this thing organized." Dale hums, nodding.

"So far, we've covered this lower region, here, all the way up to this part of the river." Rick drags a finger this way and that over the page. "This is 'round about where we found Harley, down by this slope. Carol said Harley told her she followed this whole bit here and found Sophia's doll somewhere close by. Maybe around this part, here. Between everything that's been goin' on, we haven't gotten a chance to check it out until now, but I'm thinking we start today. Should take about a couple hours to cover, I reckon, with two people."

"And who are you suggesting goes with you?"

"I was thinkin' Glenn, but he needs rest. How 'boutchu, Shane?"

Shane, who's been mostly staring at the grass this whole conversation, looks up.

"Nah." He shakes his head. "My ankle's still pretty busted, man. Best if I hang back on this one."

"Okay, sure."

"Looks like it's just you, then, Rick." Herschel says.

The butterfly chooses this moment to fly away, leading my gaze up, and then onto Shane. His ankle's fit as a damn fiddle. I saw him doin' push ups this morning, but I don't say nothin'. He's been hovering around me since yesterday afternoon like a little insect that I just can't shake, staring at me, pokin' around. Something about Rick's return with the supplies seems to have affected him in a way I can't place.

Few days ago, I would've felt so safe having Shane this close to me, but now I know that's like a bunny feelin' safe around a coyote.

"Actually," Rick butts in, "Harley?"

I snap out of it, suddenly, meeting his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna come with me?"

"Huh?"

I didn't expect him to ask me that, of all things.

"I could use your help, y'know." He adds. "You'd recognise more of those woods than any of us will."

"That's a good idea." Dale agrees aloud, mainly just for the sake of convincing me. "Doctor, you think she's good to do some exploring?"

"As long as she doesn't put too much strain on those stitches," Herschel nods, "I don't see why not."

"Perfect. What do you say?"

Wow. They really wanna get me outta here today. I guess a few hours away from the house won't be so bad. I'm sick'a Shane breathin' down my neck, anyways.

"Okay," I eventually decide, "I'll go."

Shane suddenly looks like he's regretting his decision to stay here.

"Attagirl. You don't need t'be cooped up in that room, worrying all day." Rick smiles. "Your Dad might even be awake, time we get back. You wanna go getcher hat?"

Dale nods. "Hot out."

"Okay. I think I left it by the well when I was playin' this morning."

"Go take a look, then."

Herschel and Dale help me hop off the truck.

"We'll leave in five minutes, okay, Harley?"

"Okay!"

I make it across the dry field, where Carl is peering down into the pit of the water well.

"Hey, Carl," I say, approaching. "You seen my hat 'round here?"

"Harley! C'mere!"

"What is it?"

"Down here. Look." He leans over the cobbled wall, and I follow his pointing finger into the stinky, murky depths below. "You see it?"

I don't, at first, but then I get a whole big whiff of rotting meat and dead insect-mush, and I make out somethin' moving around down there in the dark, which makes me squeak a little in disgust. Might be an ogre down there. Ogres are gross. I saw in a movie that they pick their noses.

"Hell's that?" I ask, scrunching my nose. "Stinks."

"A walker, I think."

"A walker?!"

There it is. I see it, now. Those shiny things are slippery limbs, and those lumpy ones are big, gross pustules.

I cringe loudly. "Eugh!"

"I know, right?" Carl exclaims, somewhat excitedly. "I think it fell in somehow."

"Well, we best not mess with it."

He straightens, only now registering why I'm over here. "Wait, where are you going if you need your hat? You wanna play tag again?"

"No. I can't. Your Dad's takin' me out to look for Sophia."

He looks confused.

"What? Not Shane?"

I make a face. "No. He's stayin'."

"Aw, man. Why didn't Dad ask me?"

"I'on know."

"Well, can I come, too?"

"No, Carl."

We both spin around to face Rick, who holds up my flimsy green bucket hat in the air as he approaches.

"It's just me and Harley today. Sorry."

When he's close enough, he fixes the hat onto my head.

"You found it?"

He nods.

Carl whines. "Why can't I come, too, Dad?"

He helps me drag the little bauble of the jaw-string all the way up under my chin, since it's kinda tough to do with little hands.

"Harley's goin' through a bit of a tough time right now, Carl. She could use some time away from the house. You're good right here."

Carl pouts.

"Besides," Rick shrugs, "Who's gonna protect this place while we're away?"

He rolls his eyes. "Be serious."

"I am serious."

"No, you're not. Dale's the one who keeps watch. Not me."

"Well, how 'bout you go ask him if you can join him today, huh?"

His eyes widen. "Really?"

"Yeah. I'm sure he'd appreciate that."

As Rick stands up, Carl considers the offer.

"Yeah, okay. I'll do it." He sticks up a finger. "But only if I get a gun."

"Woah. No, no, no. One step at a time, okay?" He laughs, nodding me back toward the gate. "Come on, Harley. We're goin', now."

Carl stomps his foot.

"But, Dad!"

"No. Go ask your mother!"

I can't help but snicker. Poor Carl.

"I can still be useful, you know. It's never stopped me before."

When we make it back to the main gate, where a few of our group are waiting to send us off, we walk into a small argument between Herschel and Shane. We stay out of it for the most part as Andrea hands Rick a backpack filled with useful supplies and one of our rifles.

"You push your ankle now," Herschel warns, "You'll be laid up in bed for a month, no good to anybody. I thought I made that clear."

"You did." Shane nods, playing along to get what he wants, "But I just feel like they could use an extra pair of eyes out there, that's all."

Rick raises a brow. "Thought you said you would hang back."

"Well, compared to what Harley's got, this is nothin'. Just a... a damn twist." He laughs it off. "Should be fine."

"I'm not comfortable with that." Rick firmly states, going back to loading the gun.

Shane just stares at him, annoyed with this conclusion.

"How about you take the car?" Herschel suggests. "It's better than walking. You can head back to the interstate; search for Sophia that way."

He sighs. "Yep. Yeah, okay. That's fine."

"Alright, then. And remember, no guns on my property."

Rick nods. "Loud and clear. We're guests here. We understand."

"Cute hat." Maggie grins, pinching the brim.

I giggle. "Thanks."

"Okay. We're off." Rick slings the bag over his shoulder. "If we're not back by dark, start worrying."

"Sure thing." Andrea smacks his shoulder. "Be safe."

Lori gives his cheek a kiss.

"Look after her, and be careful."

He smiles, nodding as Maggie opens the gate for us. "I will."

Even when we make it all the way to the treeline, I can still tell that Shane is pissed.

"Step over this rock, here. You got it?"

"Yeah."

"There we go. Nothin' stops you, does it?"

"Nope."

"Thought so."

Hiking with Rick ain't all that bad. We make our way into the woods, trailing the creek together for about an hour, before I start to recognise some of the oddly shaped tree trunks, mushroom clusters, and peculiar boulders out here. It reminds me a little of hiking with my Dad, especially when Rick stops to make me drink some water every once in a while, or tells me to watch out for a hole or snag in the ground. I never thought Rick could be like this, but he is a Dad, after all. He's got Carl. Everything I've found Shane's tried to do with me, Rick does it a hundred times more naturally.

He doesn't even make me uncomfortable when he does it, neither. It's almost like this is what it's meant to feel like, all this time.

"Good to be away from the farm for a bit, ain't it?" He muses, avoiding saying, away from Shane.

Up ahead, I notice a log caught in the stream.

"Hey, Rick."

"Yeah, Harley?"

"I saw this." Some frogs hop into the water when we reach it. "Yeah. This is where I found Matilda. She was in the water, right here."

He glances at me.

"Who?"

"Matilda." I repeat. "Sophia's doll."

"Oh. Right. Yeah. I knew that was her name."

"Did ya, really?"

"Not a clue. Let's look around a bit, huh?"

We spend some time combing the dirt and mud near the creek for tracks, but most of the imprints we uncover either belong to woodland animals, thirsty birds, or me, from when I was lost. We can tell 'cause when I step on 'em, the size and patterns are a perfect match to my boots. Just by pure luck, we eventually find some different, slightly bigger markings that could belong to Sophia, hiding under leaves.

We follow them into the trees.

I feel bad for not doin' this the day I came across the doll. If I did, we might've found her by now.

As we walk, I think more about Shane, and how Carl got made to stay behind today, even though he's older, and he ain't even hurt.

"How come you didn't bring Carl with us?"

Rick looks back at me.

"I just thought you could use some time away from everybody; get your mind off everythin' for a while, that's all."

"But you could'a done that without takin' me out here. Maggie did. We went peach pickin' in the orchard yesterday."

"I know." Rick sighs, reluctant to elaborate.

"But?"

"Well... One difference between the orchard and these woods is that there ain't no way for Shane to bug you out here like he can back there."

I almost trip over a pebble, but I save myself just in time.

"Soon as he brought up that ankle of his, I thought it would be a good opportunity." He raises a brow. "You know, don't think I haven't noticed all'a this. Not just the recent staring and the... the whatever-else he's been doin', but something's been goin' on there for quite some time now, I think. Maybe even before the CDC. I don't know. Whatever it is, I wanted you away from it for a few hours."

I always knew Rick was sorta smart, but I guess he's been paying more attention than I thought.

I don't say nothin', so he prompts, "Am I right?"

Yes, he's right. I wish he wasn't, but I can't change things like that.

"Yeah." I awkwardly shrug. "I guess."

"Care to clue me in?"

"Not really."

"Your Dad said the same thing when I brought it up with him. What? Is it some deep, dark, Dixon secret I'm not allowed in on?"

I giggle a little. "No. Not that."

"Then, what is it?"

"I don't know. A different type of secret."

"And what type is that?"

"A..." I put some thought into it. "It's a big secret."

He glances at me again.

If he's having a hard time navigating this, or he's feeling uncomfortable, then he's not letting on at all. In fact, I think he planned this.

"A big secret, hm?" He muses casually. "What makes it so big?"

"Because if I tell you even a little, tiny bit of it, then you'll need to know the whole thing, and I'm not allowed to tell you that."

"No? How about you try?"

"What? Tell you a little, tiny bit?"

"Just a little, tiny bit."

Something tells me no matter what I say, Rick's hanging on my every word and he's gonna remember 'em. I guess this is it, then — The moment I finally tell someone. His back is turned to me, walking just a couple feet ahead, which makes it much easier to treat this like it's nothin'. Wonder if he's doin' it on purpose. I never imagined it would be him I'd talk to about this, but here I am, anyway.

Okay. Just a little, tiny bit. Here I go.

"I think Shane did something really, really, bad."

I wish I could see Rick's face.

Unconfident, I stammer, "There you go. That's a little, tiny bit."

I think Shane tried to murder my Dad. I think he shot him. He shot him for beating on me, but that's another little, tiny bit for another day.

"Okay." Rick says, like he's digesting everything he's thinking; everything he's assuming, concluding, planning. He nods. "Okay."

Shane did something really, really bad, and so did my Dad, and so did I.

"Can I ask you one more question, though, Harley?"

"Yeah?"

"What would happen if you told me the whole secret?"

Oh, that's easy.

"Something even worse would happen."

We make it to a church.

An old, knobbly tree leans over the side of it.

"This the one?"

"Sure is."

When I told 'em about the faint ringing of church bells I heard that day, they explained that there really was a church out here, and that they even stopped at it for a while that afternoon, thinking one of us girls must've been causing the noise, but we weren't. The sound is on a timer.

The door creeks sorely as we step inside, immediately struck by a wall of pure dust and the smell of mothballs.

"Pleh." I mutter.

With a quick look around the barren room, it's obvious that Sophia isn't here.

Never one to be discouraged easily, Rick sets the bag down on one of the wooden benches, and gestures for me to take a seat.

"Trail ends here, I suppose. Maybe we can pick it up again later." He sighs, passing me a cloth filled with pear slices. "You gettin' tired, yet?"

"Not so much. Sittin' on this bench-thing is helpin', though."

He chuckles, "You mean a pew?"

"Pew?" I exclaim. "Pew, as in, like, a gun? Goin' pew-pew?"

"Exactly like that."

"Weird. Why not just call 'em benches?"

"'Cause churches like to be fancy."

"Well, I ain't fancy."

"Nobody is, anymore. Except maybe Herschel."

He settles down beside me on the pew, and we take a short lunch break together. I unwrap the fruit and begin eating the slender pieces of fresh pear, which are kinda warm from sitting in the backpack all morning — Ew — while Rick snacks on his slightly lesser portion. I look around the church. It's much smaller than the one from our hometown. Ours had a classroom and a foyer and everything, but this one's more like a really big, dirty bedroom.

"Did you ever go to church?" I ask Rick, for no reason other than I want to. "Back when you could?"

"Sometimes," He answers, "But not always."

"We did. They used to give out free stuff. Every time we went, Dad was sure they was gonna tell us we had to leave, but it never happened."

"Did you enjoy going?"

"No... The other kids were always lookin' at us funny."

He smiles sadly. Then he says, "Carl didn't like going, either. He hated having to dress up."

"Did he ever pray?"

"Not really, no. I don't think he believes in all of that."

I don't know what someone like Carl would need to pray for. I bet he had a whole heap of toys, and all the friends he could ever want.

Rick catches me staring at the statue of Jesus at the head of the room, a dull hunk of wood more than anything, lent a pretty, fractured spotlight by the stained window behind it. Carol told me she prayed here, for me and Sophia to be found. She said she convinced my Dad to pray, as well.

"Do you think he's lookin' after everybody?" I ask. "That's what they say, ain't it? Up in heaven?"

"I like to think so. It's a nice thought."

Sophia might be there already. That's a not-so-nice thought.

"Morales, I reckon he's in heaven, 'cause he lent me his toothpaste tube one time."

Rick chuckles. "Yeah. He was a good man."

"And our dog, Tank. He's in heaven, too. I know so, 'cause the vet sent us a letter sayin' he was, after he died."

"Did they?"

"Yep. I don't get how they found out, but that's where he is."

"Must be. All pets go to heaven, you know that?"

"Not all people, though."

"No. No, not all people."

My Uncle Merle's gotta be in Hell, if he's anywhere. I love him, but just 'cause you love someone, it don't make 'em a saint. Uncle Merle used to kick Tank, sometimes. He enjoyed tricking people for money, and he was in jail a lotta the time. I remember one time he was there for somethin' so bad my Dad had to sell his guitar and the TV so he could pay to let him out. I was real mad when he got home.

You ain't happy to see your old Uncle Merle, baby?

No. I ain't got no cartoons no more 'cause of you.

Aw. Sappy little thing, ain't ya? Always told you, you're too soft on her, Darylina.

Rick can tell what I'm thinkin', 'cause it weren't no secret back then that my Uncle wasn't anybody's favorite person in camp.

"I told you before," He takes a chance at saying, "But I'll say it again. I'm very sorry for what happened to your Uncle."

A long time ago, I would've gotten angry at that, but there's not much of that left in me, anymore.

"It's okay." I utter, pleased with how good it feels to say; with how two words can take two tonnes off both my shoulders.

He smiles fondly. "You're not gonna wish death on me, this time?"

"This is a church." I scoff. "I can't do that."

"I won't push my luck, then."

"I'll take some of your pear, though."

"Okay, there. Now you're pushin' your luck."

"Not even half a slice?"

"Fat chance, Dixon."

When we've packed up and are just about to head back out into the sun, I take a last look at the statue.

"You got somethin' you wanna say to him?" Rick suggests.

"Yeah." I decide, and then I shout loudly, "You best wake my Daddy up soon, you sum' bitch!"

A rat scuttles away under the floorboards at my sheer volume.

"Okay." Rick ushers me out the door, trying not to snicker. "Come on, now."

"I got shot in the stomach, too, once. Did you know that?"

I glance at Rick as we step over a rock, sceptical. No, I didn't know that.

"Did ya? When?"

"About a week before I turned up at the quarry." He tells me. "It was a work accident. Put me in a coma for quite a while."

I was too busy hating everybody — hating Rick, especially — to ever really ask about what happened before that day, but there's my answer.

"Don't need to ask if you survived, then, I guess."

"I guess not." He smiles. "No, I'm still kickin'."

"You think that'll happen with my Dad?"

"I'm sure of it."

For once, I want my Dad to be a little like Rick, the man I used to want dead.

When we break through the treeline some hours later, we see Jacqui at the top of the hill, waving her arms around.

"What's she shoutin'?"

"I don't know."

Rick starts jogging forward on instinct, pulling me closer with one hand and grabbing his revolver with the other.

"What?" He shouts back, shaking his head. "What is it? What's goin' on?"

She calls out once more, and this time, her words are clear.

"Harley! Get over here! Your Dad woke up!"

Rick stops running all at once.

We look at each other, astonished, until I start to let the realization sink in, and my eyes well up.

"Go on, then." He nods, excited for me. "Go, go, go. Get up there."

I turn, running all the way to Jacqui.

"When?" I ask. "When?"

She grabs my hand. "About twenty minutes ago."

"Is he okay?!"

We hurry toward the house together, setting off small droves of orange and brown butterflies that were resting in the grass.

"He's okay." She grins. "Threatened to burn the whole farm down if I didn't bring you to him right away, though! C'mon!"

"Dad!!"

I race up the porch steps, squealing.

"Daddy!!"

The door to the Greene house almost falls off its hinges when I push past it. It smacks into the wall with a loud, loud bang, and the next door that stands in my way receives the same treatment. If I burst holes into the plaster, I'll just have to apologise to the Greenes later. As soon as I see my Dad — Awake and breathing, and even sitting up a little in the bed — I throw myself onto him with the force of a thousand lifetimes. He tries to say my name, but grunts when he catches me. He recovers from the pain almost immediately, wrapping me up in the biggest darn hug he's ever given me. All them times I ever waited for him to come pick me up from school, or I thought he didn't turn up for one of my tournaments — That's nothin' compared to this moment. I thought he was dead. Dead and gone, forever, but he's not. Glenn, Rick, and Andrea saved him.

They got me my Dad back.

I sob like I've never sobbed before, overcome with relief that consumes me like a tidal wave, hiccing, moaning, coughing into his shoulder.

I can't believe it.

"He's awake?" I hear Rick asking in the foyer, panting slightly from the walk up the hill. "He's alright?"

"He's going to be sore," Herschel answers, "But yes, he's alive."

"He woke up?" Shane asks, sounding almost offended.

"Yes. Seems those supplies really helped."

My Dad buries his face into my neck, shushing me gently as he soothes my back.

"Dad." I bawl, like he's about to leave me again at any moment, and I have to will him back into my arms. "Daddy-y-y-y."

"Shh, sh, sh, baby." His voice is hoarse in my ear, but it's the best sound I ever heard. "Daddy's here, baby. I'm okay. I'm okay."

I just keep wailing it over and over again until he's crying, too.

"Daddy's here, baby." He shudders, then, mutters, fuck, in embarrassment. "I— I'm here, baby. I'm here. Lemme get a look atchu, huh?"

He pulls back with a kiss to my cheek, steadying me with both his hands.

"You hurtin' bad, still?" He asks. "Your stitches?"

"I thought you was dead, Dad."

His chin crumples ever so slightly as he looks at me, and then wordlessly, he embraces me again. I'm cocooned tightly in both his arms, my ear pressed up against the faint buh-boom buh-boom of his heart. He lays back into the pillows, taking me with him, shushing me some more. I should be a little more embarrassed about how hard I'm crying, but he don't mention it.

If there was ever a time I'm allowed to cry, it's now.

The IV tube gets tangled up a bit, and I think I'm hurting him, but it just makes him chuckle between tears.

"Careful, chicken." He sniffs. "You're gonna— Gonna mess me up, here, in a second."

Herschel comes in to fix it up a bit.

"I'on know what the fuck this is. Sorry." Dad mutters as he tries to help him, clumsily de-tangling all the equipment. "Here. I'on know."

"Gave your little one quite the scare." Herschel smiles over the sound of my ear-piercing cries. "Gave us all quite a scare, I think."

"You're Herschel, right?"

"Yes. Herschel Greene. This is my farm you're sat up in. Did Glenn tell you everything?"

He nods. "Think I owe you my life, if I heard right."

"Well, it wasn't your ears that got damaged in the accident, young man."

"Da-a-a-ad!"

He turns his attention back onto me at an especially pained sob.

"Shhhh. It's okay." He jokes, "I'm right here, girl."

That makes Herschel chuckle. "I'll give you two a moment, then."

Dad lets me cry as much as I want in the privacy of this little room. He smooths down my hair, tucks it behind my ears, plays with it, kisses my scalp, all the while murmuring sh, sh, sh, like I'm a newborn baby needing coddled. I let him rock me side to side. I let him hum little tunes to me quietly, and smack firm but soothing pats through the back of my shorts. After what feels like forever, I calm down, reduced to whimpers.

"You know, I thought I told you not to go nowhere." He tries making me laugh, cradling my face as I look up at him. "Remember?"

"Shut up." I complain, struggling to breathe properly. "You al-al-almost died."

"I know, baby. I'm sorry."

"Every morning, I was so scared you wouldn't be breathin', no more. I had to check."

"Everybody take good care'a ya?" He asks. "Nobody needs a whooping?"

"Maybe T-Dog." I sniff, playing with his chain necklace. "He ate all the pretzels."

"Did he, now?"

"Yeah."

"When I'm all better, I'll sort him out for ya, then."

"Uh-huh." I mumble. "You better."

I can only hold back on asking the question I've been wanting to ask him since the moment I heard that gunshot for so long.

"Daddy, what happened out there?"

He pauses for a moment. I expect him to rat Shane out without a moment's hesitation; to get angry, to want justice. But that's not what happens. He doesn't swear, or shout, or even get that little, glinting look of fire in his eyes. It seems to have fizzled out, somehow, leaving only a wispy hint of what used to burn there so violently and for so long. It's strange to me, this tranquillity. It's like a biting dog that's given up his tricks.

"Baby," He sighs, stroking my cheek fleetingly. "How much you figured out?"

I've figured out lots of things in the past month — Enough for a lifetime.

I've figured out that being beaten by your Dad is wrong, but only to some people, and only if they happen to walk in on it. I've also learnt how to think for myself, a lesson taught by someone who promised I could trust him but ended up just another liar. I've learnt the feeling of a kill; the name for benches in a church. I've learnt my Dad is two people at once, like a mirror with a hidden edge. He's him, but he's all the men that came before him, too, all echoing their last laugh through a swing of his fists. I've learnt that loving your family above all else is a hereditary disease.

"Almost all of it." I settle on saying, thinking of all the things life has yet to throw at me. "Almost all of it."

He chews his bottom lip. Then, he pinches my cheek.

"You're my smart girl, huh?"

I smile under the weight of everything.

"Well, one thing at a time. Your old man can't hardly keep up." He lowers his hand, returning my faint smile. "For starters, it was Shane that shot me." I feel like I've been slapped. "I don't know what he's told you, or... or y'know, what yarn he's been spinnin', but it was him."

"Wh-Where? How?"

"I left that day to look for Jim. I didn't tell nobody where I was goin', 'cause I was— I was gonna kill him, baby." It's a tough thing to admit, but it's nothing I ain't heard before. When they first told me Ronnie was dead, and that my Daddy killed him, all I wanted to know was when I could see him again. "I's gonna ask you where his camp was that day, but seein' yer— yer little face, all fuckin' sun-burnt an'— I'on know. Plan changed. I asked Shane instead. And uh... Some walkin', I almost made it. I knew he was followin' me. He walks loud as Hell. Like a fuckin' Yeti."

I giggle. Shane don't got my Dad's finesse when it comes to slinking through the woods.

"I guess I's kinda hopin' he'd..." He takes a deep breath. I wait patiently for him to continue. "Anyway, he did."

"You lured him."

"Yeah. I walked 'bout two hours out before... 'fore I knew I'd waited long enough nobody would find us straight away, and then I spun around, and I tackled him to the ground. I could'a shot him, point-blank, but I wanted it to... W— I wanted it to hurt."

"'Cause he's a bastard cop?"

He falters when I ask this, pinching the bridge of his nose, like this is physically hard for him to get through.

He finds the courage to look at me again. "Yes, Harley, 'cause he's a bastard cop. 'Cause he made things difficult for us, and I wanted him to suffer for it. I got his nose again; fucked his ribs up. I was about to shoot him in the brains when he snatched the glock off me."

"And then he—?"

"Then he shot me."

"And... you didn't get anywhere near Jim's camp? You didn't see him?"

"That what he told you?"

"He said you got into a squabble wit' Jim, and that he shot you, 'cause he was mad about bein' left behind. But at first, he said it was Otis."

"Who the Hell's Otis?"

"He was a man that lived here. He was a hunter, like you. They said he mistook you for a deer, or sum', while he was out there."

Recognition washes over him. "Chubby fella?"

"You see him?"

"Yeah. Gunshot drew him over to us. I guess he was out huntin', then, like they say. Shane was gonna leave me there to bleed out, but with this guy fussin' all over us, that weren't really an option, no more, so he made up some fuckin' fairytale about how it was an accident, and he was new to the group an' they'd never take him back if they found out, and he pressured him into takin' the fall for him. I passed out 'round 'bout then."

"Why ain't he just own up to it? Tell everybody he shot you, plain an' simple?"

"'Cause you wouldn't wanna keep bein' his friend if you found out."

My skin goes cold. "You know about that?"

"Yeah, baby. I know. He rubbed in my face so much I ain't never gon' forget it."

He must see my lip wobble, and the way I'm too scared to even blink, 'cause he gives my hair a kiss. I've been dreading this moment ever since I told Shane, Fine, I'll be your friend, and now I've finally been found out. I'm a liar. I betrayed my Dad. Oh, he's gonna pull his belt out right now.

"I'm sorry, Dad." I shake my head, already pulling away, trying to stop what's to come. "Please, Dad. I'm sorry."

"Harley—"

"He tricked me. He made it seem li-like I had to be his friend. I didn't want to, I swear. He j— He just said a whole bunch'a things, and then—"

"Harley, baby, I ain't mad."

"And he— He—? What?"

"I ain't mad." He repeats himself, raising his brows. "I ain't."

"W—?"

This is like finding out the Earth is flat, or the sun is a square.

"I promise you, baby, I ain't mad at you for that. Not even a little bit. Never, ever." He promises, grabbing my shaking hand. "That man, he's... It ain't your fault. Might feel like it is, but it ain't. Nothin' he says or does is your fault. I should'a ended this shit a long time ago. You shouldn't even have to worry 'bout things like this, Harley. You can be friends with whoever you like. Don't fuckin' matter what I say. Don't listen t'me."

Don't—? Don't listen to me?

"Dad—?"

"I know." He says. "Just... I know. Sometimes Dad says confusin' shit, don't he?"

I nod vigorously.

"Well, I mean it. How am I supposed t'be mad atchu for just doin' what you're told? The way I raised you, ain't it?"

"Yeah, but... I mean, you hate cops."

"For a long time, yeah. Every time I watched 'em drag your Uncle Merle away, I hated 'em a little more'un the last time. They ain't very nice in prison, neither. Lots of rules. They got power over you in there. Makes 'em turn into assholes. But that's me, baby. My bullshit is my bullshit to handle, and Shane — Leave him to me, too. Askin' to be your friend an' shit, that's sum' wrong wit' him. Not you. Not your bullshit."

"If I told you this, like, a week ago, you would'a..."

You would'a beat me.

The unspoken words hang pungent in the air, weighing down on him.

"I—" He clears his throat; sighs deep, and hard. He mutters, "I— I probably would'a, yeah."

I've never seen him talk this away about a beating. He was never proud of it or nothing, but he was never proud about washing dishes, either.

It was just a part of life, but for now, I guess, it's not.

"So... you're not mad?"

"No, sweet girl, I'm not. C'mere."

I lay back down on his chest.

"I knew it was Shane," I murmur against him, "'cause the bullet was round."

"They took it outta me, huh?"

"It was real scary. You wanna hear the whole story?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm all ears."

I tell him about the gunshot, and Maggie on the horse, and how Shane and Otis went out for emergency supplies, but one came back empty-handed, and the other didn't come back at all. I tell him about the night of the surgery, and the funeral. I tell him about the chickens, too.

"They got eggs here, Dad. Lots of 'em. Scrambled, too." I smile. "You're gonna love it."

"Haven't had an egg breakfast in months."

We used to go to the diner, sometimes, and get eggs on toast when Merle wasn't around. Those were the best days of the week.

"They don't burn 'em here or nothin'."

He chuckles. "What 'bout two-dollar coffee? They got that here, too?"

"Only if you wanna fight for the last of the coffee beans."

"It's on." He scoffs. "I could use some good coffee right about now."

"You tired?"

"Baby, I'm exhausted." He smiles. "Keep talkin', though. I wanna hear everythin'."

"Okay. You wanna hear about the walker me and Carl found in the well?"

"The what?"

Herschel comes back in a while later to perform a check-up.

He's an animal doctor, but he's still got a real stethoscope hanging around his neck, and a little light he can shine in my Dad's pupils. I hold his hand as Herschel checks over the IV, the baggie of donor blood, and the smaller scrapes and bruises all over Dad's neck and face.

"Looks like you got into a brawl with a bear." He comments, dabbing his slashed brow with a cotton pad. "This'll sting a little bit."

He hisses. "Weren't so far off as you'd imagine."

Herschel drops the wad into the tin tray. "That about does it for now, I think."

"When can I get outta this bed?"

"When you're better." He deadpans, packing up. "Which should be in about a week. Walking, I'd say, would be reasonable in one or two days."

Dad glances at me, unimpressed.

"Doctor's orders." I shrug.

"Listen to my best patient's advice, Mister Dixon." Herschel smiles. "There's a reason her wound's healed up so nicely."

"I'm guessin' it ain't the fishin' line."

"No." The med-kit clicks shut. "It's not the fishing line."

"I can play outside with Carl, now." I tell Dad, proud. "I been takin' it slow. You gotta, too."

He kisses my knuckles, too tired to answer, but agreeing.

As he's about to leave, Herschel notices something on the ground by his feet, and bends to pick it up.

"Is this yours, Harley?"

He holds it up.

Much to my discomfort, it's the shredded get well soon card.

"Yeah." I take the piece he hands to me, confronted by its obnoxious colors. "It was meant to be a card. Not lookin' so good, now, though."

"Lemme see it."

Reluctantly, I angle it so my Dad can take a look.

"It's just a corner." I murmur. "I ripped up the rest of it."

"That looks real pretty, baby. You made it for me?"

"I don't know..." I muse, unsure. "Shane kinda helped me with it."

"That why you ripped it?"

"Yeah. I was angry at him. I didn't wanna look at it, no more."

"Well, I do." Dad squeezes my hand. "How 'boutchu make me another one?"

"But you're all better, now."

"I don't know about that." Herschel chuckles. "It'll be a while before he's one hundred percent again."

I consider this. "How about I just draw you a picture this time?"

"Sure. Draw me anythin' you want."

"I'll get you some crayons and paper." Herschel offers, stepping out the door. "I'll be back in a moment."

"Good to see you awake, man."

T-Dog, along with Rick and Glenn, walks into the room while I'm leaning against my Dad's side, working on the drawing set up in my lap. I got a clipboard to lean against, and a whole bunch of different colored crayons to use. Rick sits in the bay window, near Glenn, who rests in the rocking chair in the corner. T-Dog smacks Dad's shoulder.

"Thanks." Dad nods, joking, "What's this I hear 'boutchu eatin' all the pretzels, though?"

T-Dog laughs, leaning against the wall. "Girl, you snitched on me about that?"

Swallowing down a giggle, I just send him a cheeky glance.

"Whatever, man. Lock me up, then."

"I think I still got my handcuffs in the back'a our car." Rick offers, mock-serious. "I can go get 'em right now."

Glenn interjects. "Woah, woah, woah. Innocent until proven guilty, guys."

"He told me he ate 'em all." I butt in. "That's proof."

"Verdict's in, then, buddy." Dad shrugs.

"I ain't never delved into all'at court stuff or nothin'," T-Dog holds his hands up, "But I'm pretty sure that's hearsay."

Rick shakes his head, changing the subject.

"How you feelin', Daryl?"

"Sore. Stiff. Like shit."

"Gettin' shot in the stomach will do that to you."

"It's a miracle you survived." Glenn adds. "You lost a lot of blood. Thirty percent, I'm sure Herschel said. Something like that."

"You said you been givin' me yours, didn't ya?"

"Yeah. We weren't sure about anybody else's types, so we had to make do with what we had."

"I got Chinaman-blood runnin' through my veins." Dad laughs. "Hell's that mean for me, now?"

Glenn scoffs. "That you're slightly less of an idiot."

"Man, it's prolly true." T-Dog snickers. "What's the capitol of Russia?"

Dad sticks up his middle finger.

"What about you, Harley?" Glenn asks. "How's your side doing?"

I look up from the paper, where so far, I've drawn some spikey, green grass and colored in half the sky.

"It's a little better." I smile. "Y'know, I'm sorry for yellin' at you yesterday."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it."

T-Dog tsks, "What was all that about, anyway? What's up with Shane lately?"

"Maybe he's just feeling guilty about Otis." Glenn suggests.

"He's got a whole long list of things to feel guilty about." Dad says with distaste. "You wanna know who exactly it was that shot me?"

"No way."

Rick sighs. "I had a feeling."

"Why'd he go and do a thing like that?" T-Dog questions.

"'Cause he's off his fuckin' rocker, that's why." He retorts. "He hated my guts, so he went and shot 'em."

"Man, you think—? You think he left those supplies on purpose, then?"

I never thought of that. It would just add another layer of horror to that night.

"That poor guy Otis, man."

"Nothin' we can do about it, now. 'Less you think he's gonna do somethin' like this again, Daryl?"

He shrugs. "I'on know. Wouldn't put it past him."

"For now, I wanna keep this sorta thing to a minimum. I'm gonna ask Herschel again today about our arrangements here."

"We're only staying a week or two, right?" I pout.

"Until we find Sophia." Rick tries to smile. "But I'm gonna try change his mind."

"You still ain't find her?"

"No. Harley found her doll, but that's about it. We're gonna start grid-searching properly tomorrow."

I look back down at the page again, sad.

"Drawing done, now, chicken?" Dad asks, trying to lighten my mood a little. "Wanna show it?"

Nodding, I grab the sketch pad and turn it around so that they can all see. It's done. I drew me and my Dad in a field of flowers, but we're not holdin' hands or nothin' — We're killing walkers together. I don't think I got the crossbow exactly right, but I tried my hardest.

Dad laughs. "It's perfect, baby. That me?"

"Yeah. And me. That's the sun, and flowers, and a dead walker right there."

"Badass." Glenn approves.

"What that thing in the background?" Rick asks.

"Oh," I happily answer, "That's Dale. He's so scared, he ran away, and now he's just a little dot."

They all chuckle to themselves.

T-Dog offers to sit it on the chest of drawers, and it stands anew against a vase of real flowers, looking like it's belonged there all along.

Author's Note.

Finished this chapter at 5:49 AM 😣 Uuuuuuuuugh

Long author's rant below.

I got a comment the other day about how Shane was being really annoying, and I sort of agree. At first, I actually felt that way about Daryl, but now he's shown regret and apologized, and Shane's still a raging asshole set on taking Harley for himself. I guess he has good motives? Or HAD, at least... considering they've shifted from wanting to help her out a dangerous situation, to now being selfish. Then again... if I walked in on a man about to hit his 8 yr old daughter, I'd go apeshit, too.

It's going to be so satisfying when Shane gets what's coming to him. (I've been excited for it since the very beginning of this book. Rest assured, Shane will not see the light of day come Season 3.)

Started out as Daryl as the villain and Shane as the hero... Kinda switched.

Sophia's still missing... and Jim, he's MIA. Get ready for him to pop back up again.

Also, Harley is finally on good terms with Rick!! Took forever and a half but we got there. I chose to do this so he could replace Shane's role as pseudo-Uncle when the time comes. Glenn's already sort of there... but what's the harm in having TWO pseudo-Uncles? 😌

Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.

Please leave your thoughts and feedback below. Sending lots of love!! <3

#the walking dead #twd fanfiction #twd #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon daughter #daryl dixon #daddy issues #parent daryl dixon #rick grimes #shane walsh #angst #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #reader

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arumin-arureruto · 2 years

Text

Better Than Advil (AOT college AU series)

art by pechaberriee on twitter

no warnings! just some light fluff

word count: 2.5k

established relationship with Eren + light fluff with Armin

mostly gender neutral

authors note at the end please read

I suggest you read the first 2 parts of the series first:

I think I like when it rains (part 1)

happy birthday Eren (part 2)

The sun is too bright. The air conditioning was too loud. Everything was too much. You reached over to the spot where your boyfriend was supposed to be but all you felt was an empty space and covers. you reached over for your phone, the clock showing that it was 8:54am, why was Eren up so early? You sat up and were about to get up to look for him when a sharp pain in your head stopped you.

Your hands immediately started rubbing your temples and you started regretting every decision you've ever made, how much did you drink last night at the party? The lack of sleep due to certain... nightly activities probably didn't help. While you sat there feeling like your head was gonna explode, Eren walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Good morning" he walked over to the bed and leaned down to give you a kiss. You groan in response and fall back down in bed. "Hell of a hangover huh" he said while rummaging through his drawers for some underwear "Yeah no shit" you shot back, Eren put his hands up in defense "jeez ok I won't say anything anymore". You felt kinda bad for being rude "sorry" "don't worry, but I'm worried about who's gonna take care of you while I'm out" Where was he going? "Out where?" he didn't mention going anywhere, or at least you don't remember him doing that. "We were supposed to go visit my parents since they didn't get to see me on the day of my actual birthday, but I don't think you wanna go anywhere right now do you?" Oh crap you had forgotten about that, although Eren's family was particularly fond of you you don't think they would appreciate you being hungover at a family gathering. "Sorry I'm missing it" You felt bad for not going with him but there's no way you would be able to function at the state you were currently in. "Don't even think about that, focus on getting better" he said as he finished getting dressed.

While your head felt like it was going to explode and every bone in your body urged you to stay in bed, you still got up to go to the bathroom to take an Advil. When you looked in the bathroom mirror you realized, god you looked rough, Eren walked in and saw you staring in the mirror spaced out and made a face at you while grabbing his toothbrush, "why are you taking your toothbrush?" you thought it was just a day trip. "In case I end up sleeping over, you know how my family is they always insist we stay longer so I thought it was better to prepare." "oh ok" You felt a little sad you would spend the day and possibly the night alone but it wasn't the end of the world. You took an Advil, went back to bed and tried to sleep while Eren packed a bag to stay the night. After 20 or so minutes Eren woke you up, his face inches from yours. "I'm leaving, take care okay? I love you" He smelled so damn good. "I love you too." He smiled and gave you a kiss. You watched him leave and readjusted yourself in bed, listening to your boyfriend grab his keys and locking the door, leaving you alone for the day in your apartment.

The Advil kicked in fast pulling you into a deep sleep, after what it felt like seconds had passed you woke up again. Although you still felt slightly groggy from sleep you decided to get up and start the day, staying in bed all day wasn't gonna make you feel better. You got up and went to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face, the cold water to the face woke you right up. Despite feeling slightly more awake the effects of the hangover were still prominent, so you decided to take it easy. After you were done washing your face you went to the kitchen for some breakfast, when you were done with breakfast you took a shower and started to tidy up the house, wanting to be able to snuggle back into bed with 0 responsibilities.

While cleaning you came across the flannel Armin had let you borrow yesterday after you accidentally spilled wine on your shirt while at Costco. You had left it in your bag and forgotten to give it back to him at the party. You picked up the flannel. “If I don’t return it now i’m gonna forget again and never give it back to him” you thought to yourself out loud. You put on some shoes and headed down the hall to armin’s dorm. You knocked and waited a couple seconds, silence, you knocked again and waited more, after a little while you realized he was probably not home and turned to leave, until you heard footsteps growing near. Armin swung the door open.

-“sorry, I was giving garlic bread a bath and he was being difficult” he said out of breath, water droplets all over his shirt.

-“oh don’t worry, I just came here to return your flannel” you handed him the flannel, feeling kinda awkward since you interrupted him while he was busy.

-“ohhh thank you I was wondering where I had left it”

-“sorry the rush of the party made me completely forget to return it” you said apologetically.

-“oh no don’t worry about it, do you wanna come in? you can watch while I try to get garlic bread to sit still in the bathtub." His golden hair tousled, his face flushed from probably chasing garlic bread around the house, his warm smile was inviting as always, you almost accepted his offer.

-"I would, but I'm still feeling kinda hungover from last night and some more sleep would do me good." With Eren out of town it would be nice to have some company, but your warm comfy bed called your name.

-"Oh I hope you feel better" he put his hand behind his head, you mistook it for him feeling embarrassed but it probably wasn't that.

"Thanks" silence fell between the two of you, you could hear the sound of the ventilation in the empty hallway. After 10 seconds of silence you opened your mouth to say you had to go but Armin spoke up first.

- "Hey Eren is out of town right? He definitely wouldn't want you to be alone while hungover so I'll come check up on you later.

-"Oh no don't worry I'll be fine, some more sleep should do the trick." You waved your hands in front of your body in an attempt to convey that he didn't need to worry about you. Armin laughed and ran his hand through his hair. "If you say so, take care y/n." you said bye and turned to walk back. While you walked back you couldn't help but wish he had insisted a little bit more.

Back in your apartment you dragged yourself around to finish some chores and then dragged yourself back to bed, the minute your head hit the pillow you were engulfed in a deep sleep once again.

knock knock

sounds coming from the living room woke you up, still groggy from sleep it took you a couple seconds to realize someone was at your door. What time was it? You looked for your phone and found it under one of the pillows on your bed. 7:56pm, you had slept for roughly 4 hours.

Knock knock

Shoot, you forgot someone was at the door. "Coming!" you called from your bedroom, hoping that whoever it was could hear you. You took one quick look in the mirror and headed over to open the door.

You opened the door to see Armin standing there with a bag of what you assumed was food guessing by the smell.

"Okay okay I know you said you would be fine by yourself but I couldn't leave you here alone and hungover so I ordered (favorite food) and thought we could have dinner together?"

Surprise turned to confusion which quickly turned to happiness, you laughed and let Armin come in.

- “You’re so sweet Armin I don’t even know what to say” you said while smiling.

- “Don’t say anything, grab a plate and come sit with me.” you headed over to your small kitchen to get plates, glasses and cutlery.

You and Armin sat across from each other on the floor at your coffee table. Although the coffee table wasn’t super small, it was still cramped enough that even cross legged your legs touched underneath. While Armin took the containers out of the bag and served you both. "I love the food from this place, I think about half of my salary goes just to them." You said, almost drooling over the smell alone. "I know it's your favorite so I figure you would appreciate it" He finished loading your plate with food and set it down in front of you ",fun fact, I had no idea this restaurant even existed, it was my first time going there." He started filling his own plate with food. You raised an eyebrow and smiled "How did you know it was my favorite?" He ate a spoonful of food, swallowed it and spoke, "oh y/n I know a lot of things about you, even if you don't know a whole lot about me" you laughed, both your legs shifted under the table, rubbing against each other.

"It's so weird that both you and Mikasa are Eren's best friends, I mean me and Mika are practically conjoined twins but I feel like you and me almost never hangout,." Armin laughed, you felt his leg rub against your again. "We can change that y/n" You smiled and took a bite of your food.

2 minutes later you asked the question that had been in the back of your mind since he got here. “Was Annie too busy to come too?” You saw Armin hesitate for a second before answering, “She’s gonna be at her dad’s until spring break ends, so it’s just me and garlic bread for another 2 weeks.” He finished serving you both.

You ate in silence for a couple minutes before Armin spoke up again. "How long is Eren gonna be out for anyway?" you took a moment to finish chewing your food and replied. "He said it would only be a day trip but his family is pretty pushy on staying the night, so he'll probably come back tomorrow afternoon." Armin took the last bite of his food, setting his utensils down and picking up his glass filled with juice, the ice cubes clinked against the glass. "So you're alone for the night too?" he asked before sipping his drink. You nodded and finished eating the last bit of food on your plate. You picked up your glass and drank.

Armin picked up both of your empty plates and brought them to the sink, "Thank you so much for bringing dinner, you didn't have to." you said from the living room while Armin set down the dirty plates in the sink. "Oh don't thank me yet, there's still dessert." He was so thoughtful. Armin came back with a pint of ice cream and two spoons. "How are you even real?" you asked jokingly, you noticed he didn't bring bowls. "If we eat directly from the carton it's less dirty dishes to wash later," He explained, "We should probably sit on the couch, sitting across from each other it gonna make it hard to eat." his logic made sense. You got up and sat on the couch with him, shoulders touching, you got a whiff of a citrussy scent that followed him around everywhere.

"Because I'm a very nice person I'll let you hold the carton." He handed you the carton. "Oh what a gentleman you are" you joked "Why of course." He agreed and you both laughed. You ate the ice cream and talked about a tv show you had been watching, until the topic of eye colors came up.

“you know, I like having blue eyes, I find them pretty nice, except when Connie likes to make sure I know that, to quote him ‘blue eyes are a product of incest so that means that your relatives fucked each other’ and he says that to me at least once a week” You burst out laughing, that sounded very much like connie. “I’ve never thought too much about my eyes, I think they’re okay.” you said while getting another spoonful of ice cream. “I find your eyes really pretty y/n” you laughed and looked down. “You’re saying that to be nice.” he laughed a little, “No no no I mean it, here, look at me” Armin lightly grabbed your face, his thumb lifting your chin, you could feel heat rushing to your face as his got closer to yours. Those bright blue eyes staring at you made you feel naked. Armin kept staring at you, mouth slightly agape, he took a deep breath and swallowed, then slowly pulled away. “See, told you, you have nice eyes y/n” “Thanks” was all you could muster.

After the ice cream carton was empty you got up to throw it away, Armin followed you into the kitchen. “Do you need help with the dishes?” How was he so polite? “No it’s fine I got it, I cant thank you enough for dinner and the company.” He ran his hand through his golden blond hair, “That’s what friends are for is it not?” You smiled, “Yeah, you’re right, i’ll still make it up for you some day.” It was his turn to smile “i’ll be waiting”. A few seconds passed in silence before Armin spoke again. “I should get going, garlic bread might have ripped off my curtains since I haven’t given him food for 2 hours.” You laughed, “Yeah you should probably go, thanks again Armin.” “You’re welcome y/n”. He turned and left your apartment, leaving you alone in the kitchen with a smile on your face. Your day started with a nasty hangover and ended with a peaceful dinner with a friend, today had been a good day.

OUTSIDE YOUR APARTMENT

Armin walked out of your apartment and down the hall to his as fast as he could without seeming weird or rude, not even bothering to put his shoes on right. As soon as he walked through the door he slammed it shut and leaned against it. All he saw in his mind was you, the way you laughed, the way your eyes lit up when you were happy. Lost in thoughts of you. he looked around his living room and spotted the flannel he had let you borrow. Armin walked over, picked it up and smelled it, the scent on it not his own. It was yours, the flannel smelled like your perfume. he set the flannel down and sat down on the couch. His hand made its way to his heart. “Oh you treacherous thing.”

a/n: HEYYYY GUYS, this college au series is close to my heart and I want it to make as enjoyable as possible for everyone, my plan to do that is by letting you, the reader, choose your ending. What I mean by that is that you will have the option to choose if you want to end up with, Armin, Mikasa, or stay with Eren. How it's gonna work: Each character will get a "preview", and as you can see this one was Armin's, the next one will be Mikasa's then followed by Eren's, after the next 2 previews are published you will get to choose who do you want your final bae to be. I'll try to update all 3 routes as frequent as possible but I can't make any promises, hopefully this made sense!!! Any questions feel free to send an ask or comment, love you guys.

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domowrites · 2 years

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𝚃𝚘 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 (pt.2)

A Nathan Prescott x reader

TW: suicide & drug use! Also mommy issues

Available on: ➷ Wattpad

A/N authors note!!

OMG I cant believe how much love this story got??? I’m literally all giddy writing this I love y’all sm:(( tysm I appreciate your likes and the time y’all take to read these!!! I didn’t reread this cuz I didn’t wanna edit >:( okay back to the story🫡🫡

sen·ior· i ·tis

/ˌsēnyəˈrīdəs/

noun

an ebbing of motivation and effort by school seniors as evidenced by tardiness, absences, and lower grades.

Oh my god

Rereading your symptoms on your laptop screen made you feel paralyzed like all you could do was read the description mortified,

senioritis was full-on fucking you in the ass.

Let's just pray this doesn't lead to any unwanted pregnancies.

Your room was a pigsty at the moment unfinished assignments were littered everywhere spilling from your bed onto the floor.

You felt helpless like you'd fail no matter what and it didn't help you still don't have a clue about what you were going to write about. All you had in your notebook was

' just steal Donnie Darko's plot she won't know she's old'

This of course would be plan z, but sadly it was your only plan at the moment.

You didn't even get to sleep last night struggling to finish up your overdue assignments.

Speaking of last night you also didn't shower,

looking in your mirror across your bed you realize you still have left-over eyeliner under your eyes. You could've mistaken yourself for a raccoon or your seventh-grade emo phase.

Ready for the mosh pit shaka brah.

Staggering off the small bed, you struggle to keep yourself up, your legs felt tingly like you were stepping on a thousand needles filled with poison but also they were on fire.

Wincing you waddle down to your dorm closet opening it uncovering your daily attire and garments, what to wear...

Deciding to not go anywhere today but study in your cramped dorm room all day, you grab your bathing necessities place them in a bag, and call it a day.

It really was so hard being you.

Ready to go!

Brushing a hand through the tangled mess you call hair you charge your phone finally departing from the comfy home-like room with the shower bag in hand.

Walking down the dorm hallways was always a calm feeling, even with all the commotion going on behind locked doors.

Kate Marsh then pushes past you disrupting your inner monologue, if you were paying attention you could hear a 'sorry!' leave her gloomy chapped lips.

You couldn't but help to feel apologetic for her. You'd comfort her later, right now you had to take care of yourself. Like mom always said,

'You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first!'

Who were you kidding,

your mom never said that, the poster you just passed a few seconds ago did.

Placing both hands on the chipped slender doors you shove them open uncovering the shower room.

"...Max selfie, thought she was a badass taking that picture I should've beat her down."

Instantly recognizing what the voice was talking about and who was conversing you gasp. Sure you stayed in your room all day but, rumors spread.

You know Victoria could be a bitch but she totally didn't deserve public humiliation like that.

You were learning more and more about 'Max' against your own will every day.

"Omg are you talking about Max?"

🕊

It was hard to hear because of the loud pitter-patter of water but you make out a 'hey (y/n)' from Taylor you send her a small wave, you loved Taylor she was such a sweet soul and was uber gorgeous. You always had to fight the urge to pinch her soft cheeks and squeeze her,

averting your intense stare from Taylor back to Victoria you note she appeared ashamed, avoiding your gaze which was very odd compared to her usual cocky confident self, presumably because even the new kid knew about the disgraceful selfie.

Victoria then nods verifying your statement.

A little gossip wouldn't hurt, right?

You confided in Victoria she was never rude to you

...to your face.

"She's fucking crazy! Did you see what she did to Nathans's face?"

Making your way to the next available shower stall you close the curtain assuming they got your point.

Victoria then scoffs recalling Nathans's scarred face.

"She's a weirdo with that dumb camera."

Taking off your former apparel you try not to eavesdrop on the girl's conversation

twisting the handle on the wall causing the showerhead to spew.

"I hate the 'im so quirky' crap.

Anyway.

Let's leave the link to Kate's video so everybody gets a chance to see her in action."

Lathering soap on your head you sigh disappointedly in Taylor for encouraging Victoria's insecure behavior.

Poor Kate.

Hearing the girls giggle to themselves they loudly flee the damp room slamming the entrance door behind them.

You quietly hum a small tune to yourself imagining how today would go, it was gonna be painfully boring playing catch up. But that's what you get for skipping school.

Freezing cold water then rushes down your bare un expecting physique.

"Hello?! Water!"

you didn't mean for it to sound so brutal and harsh but you couldn't help it.

It was fucking cold.

"Sorry, I forgot!"

The unknown figure then rushes to turn off the sink, if they were still there by the time you finished you should remember to apologize.

You usually understood when you were in the wrong.

🕊️

Pleased, feeling clean you hop out of the shower fully clothed.

Foot on the cold school tile, you can't avoid letting out a sigh feeling the warmth depart from your moist body. Making your way to the sink, bag in hand, you proceed to do your morning routine brushing your teeth and hair.

Feeling a gust of wind towards your right you see it's coming from the now open door.

"Are you finally going to class?"

Surprised you recognize that low melodious voice, Alyssa Anderson, you haven't seen her since you started avoiding English class. To be fair you didn't want the teacher nagging your ear off about the project.

Was it finally time to go back? If you didn't you'd be doubling the work you have now.

"I'll text you.."

She nods downcast continuing to her destination.

Was she wishing you'd say yes?

You hated when people had expectations for you, it's not like you owed her or anyone anything.

Annoyed you quickly leave the shower room stomping through the hallways entering your dorm.

You didn't want to talk to anyone, not right now. This was not good for your aura.

Locking your door you take a few steps forward tossing your shower bag aside knocking down a few things off your nightstand, you reach your computer turning it on, and realize it's already on an opened tab.

Why must life be so hard..

Quickly exiting out you go to Spotify which instantly plays a random playlist, out of habit you instantly turn it down, you didn't want to disturb anyone with your superior toons.

Should you go to class?

Considering Alyssa's feelings and your grades you scrunch your eyebrows, you should go to class

You knew that

But you couldn't bring yourself to go.

It was just so exhausting and nerve-racking that you hated being here.

It was almost suffocating.

You hated that your mom moved you here

You hated Alyssa for caring

And you hated yourself.

You hated yourself for not caring enough, for not being a good person and doing the right things.

For being so selfish.

Only your feelings ever mattered not your dad's, not Alyssa's, and certainly not Nathan Prescott's.

🕊

You were going to class.

You had to.

You slowly walk to your long mirror hastily doing your makeup routine, in a blink of an eye, you were already dressed.

Tossing yourself on your bed you check your phone, four more minutes until the bell. Closing your eyes you lie there a while absorbing the music playing from your speaker it felt nice being alone with your thoughts.

Just pure vibes.

It was what you were used to, I mean your dad was never home and your mom wanted nothing to do with you.

hands dancing toward your pillow you pull out a small baggy,

Just to get through today.

Dragging a cookie in your mouth you instantly feel your tongue go numb

You kept them under your pillow for emergencies. (Which was probably not a good idea now that you think about it)

English class was an emergency.

Right?

You had to text Alyssa before they kicked in I mean you could wait but it'd just take about an hour to

type hey,

Alyssa ˁ῁͓ˀ

Omw:) Delivered

With a sigh, you gloomily sit up off of the cute bed stretching your now popped joints

Yay English

Getting off your bed, not like it was your choice, you turn off the music by closing your laptop

What else did you need?

Grabbing a few pens and notebook you were set.

Unplugging your phone and being sure to lock your door you make your way to class.

It was a peaceful walk to the school or the THC was kicking in, either way, you weren't complaining.

You weren't an addict or anything, you always like to say at least you weren't drinking or doing coke, marijuana was good for the nerves and sleeping, and a little MaryJane never killed anyone!

It's not like you were downing your 5th glass of wine ranting to your daughter, mascara running down your face, how her superhero father was a shit show shrieking

'oh, I should've never married him it's your fault we're still together!'

while said daughter, held the hair out of your face letting you release the bile of vomit

'flush'

No!!

Never that,

Weed made everything better she made you happy, and right now she was the only comforting thing on this planet, she made you feel like the world was in slow motion, at one point you felt time stop giving you a whiplash of deja vu.

🕊️

Pushing the sturdy doors in, the school's cool draft hits your face.

Was it always this cold?

As people push by you rushing to class you slowly move with them checking your phone you realize it's almost time for the bell. Looking back up from the device you make eye contact with the boy from the diner,

Nathan Prescott.

If time wasn't slow earlier it came to a complete stop now, people around you stayed motionless.

Like in those cheesy romcoms when the protagonist sees their soulmate and it's just them in the whole world and they're all that matters, but this wasn't romantic???

You give him a shy smile greeting him with a tiny wave, you should remember to ask for his number next time. Feeling a hard impact on your shoulder you can't help but steer off course stumbling over your own two feet.

Did the town's asshole Nathan Prescott, the one you swore you befriended, just shove you out of his way?

Nah.

Maybe he was just in a hurry?

Avoiding the public humiliation you quickly scurry into the open classroom.

"(y/n), welcome back!"

Shut the fuck up.

You smile at the teacher. well, at least you hope it was a smile, you felt so numb and it didn't help you kept replaying the scene of Nathan shoving you over and over. Like a movie, but this wasn't a movie which made it a thousand times more humbling.

Shuffling towards your seat the bell rings causing the class to instantly go quiet.

Seated next to Alyssa you wanted to talk to her but honestly, what would you say? She probably hates you at this point, she didn't even answer your message and you really couldn't blame her, even if you wanted to.

"Hey.."

She was so awkward, but she was cool. Probably one of the coolest students you've been acquainted with in Blackwell.

You quickly nod your head letting her know you also appreciated her presence.

Facing forward you listen to the teacher's lecture, which made your eyes slump longer the more she talked.

And you bet she talked.

She talked so much.

Being high was so weird to you, but not foreign. Why did people like being high for parties and stuff? It was calming to you but not fun, it felt like having a fever and being extremely tired like time was in slow motion, you moved in slow motion too.

Imagine having time powers?

You'd abuse the hell out of those powers for stupid shit

Like that one scene in open season stupid, you know when they break into the convenience store and eat everything?

Yeah.

sadly magic isn't real this isn't some fairytale.

"Yo, some crazy shit is going down at the girls' dorm! Check it!"

Huh?

Was that voice even real;; it sounded so distant.

Alyssa then drags you out of your bewildered state you both follow the racing stampede to the front of the school's dormitories. Looking around you realize the whole school was here,

but why?

Why did everyone look so frightened?

Looking at Alyssa for an answer you see her shriek pointing up. Noticing Alyssa like that gave you chills she was always so calm and collected, it's what you loved most about her, no matter what she always had a steady head. following her finger, it finally clicks.

Kate marsh was thinking about jumping off,

Kate marsh is going to die.

Your eyes widen, this wasn't real right? You were having a bad trip Kate was probably in class learning right now thinking about church things. She wouldn't jump would she?

Tears building up you realize you only took one cookie,

This was real.

Kate Marsh is going to die because of you because you didn't comfort her in the hallway.

Because you were so selfish.

Hands clamped over your mouth suppressing your cries, you felt so hyper-aware right now.

You could feel every single raindrop hit your skin, and hear every scream for help from friends wanting to save the lost girl.

Then it all goes still not a sound could be heard,

besides kate marsh's lifeless body, smashing against the cold wet pavement below her.

#nathan prescott x reader #domowrites #fanfic #nathan prescott #life is strange #x reader #reader insert #romance #high school #lis #Prescott #self insert #scenerio #asks are always appreciated

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cheeto-flavoured-pasta · 4 months

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APS Book One Excerpt (12)

x Taken from “Chapter 18: Asher.” x If you would like to know more about APS, here is the WIP intro. x You can read the full chapters here. x You can find the excerpt masterlist here. x Current taglist: @full-on-sam, @yesireadbooks, @leisoree, @poetinprose. Ask to be +/- from the list.

"Asher?"

The cafeteria lights were half-dimmed, revealing the little boy sitting at the front table.

He looked up. "Talia?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"What are you?"

"I just needed water. And I had a nightmare, so I don't want to head back to bed," I replied. "You?"

"I'm upset," he said, looking down at the table, his fingers interlocked. He had red lines around his eyes.

My gut twisted. I already what this was about.

I walked over to the water filter in the corner of the room, pulling a plastic cup from the stack that sat on top. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He bit his lip.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," I said, filling my cup with cold water.

"It's Cillian," he blurted out, voice cracking. "He's gone. Like, I know those guards said he's gonna come back tomorrow, but I feel like they're lying. And I don't wanna lose any more people. They already took my dads away from me, they already took away all of my friends at school, and now they put me here where I only have you and Marie, since Cillian's probably gonna be gone. And then, what if they take away more people? What if they take away everyone and then I'm alone, and then I won't know what to do? I already hate this place, I already saw so many things I don't wanna see, and I don't wanna be left by myself. I'm just so scared and —"

His words were cut off by an abrupt cough, choke, and a heartwrenching sob. He buried his face in his hands, hiccuping between breaths.

Just seeing him cry triggered a lump in my throat and stinging at the back of my eyes. With weak legs, I sat down next to him and placed the cup of water at his side. Maybe he would need it more.

"I get it. I'm scared too. We're all scared, but Marie and I are gonna stay. We're not going anywhere, okay? We'll be fine. We hate this place too, but…" I swallowed. "Maybe… maybe we'll get out, like Marie was saying earlier. Maybe we can do something, maybe someone will do something, and we'll be free at some point. This isn't forever…"

Did I scream or cry at myself? Was I serious right now? I was telling more empty lies just to comfort this poor kid. Saying things even I didn't believe. Would Marie and I be okay? My gut said no. Was someone going to step up and 'do something about it?' I refused Marie's offer to escape PowerGen less than twenty-four hours ago, because I failure who couldn't help with jack shit, or else I'd fuck it up again. Who was going to free us from PowerGen? Nobody.

Nothing good was going to happen, so why the hell was I still pretending like it would?

“Hey!" a deep voice boomed through the air. "What are you two doing back there?"

I whirled my head over my shoulder, just in time to spot the cafeteria's slam shut behind a rugged security guard and one guant, pale, death-looking Chancellor Janson.

"Asher." Janson sighed. "This is your eighth time this week. How did you get into the cafeteria this time?"

Asher had looked up, trembling as tears continued to roll down his face. “I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry —"

"No you're not, kid," spat the guard, the dim light reflecting off his name tag which read: Jackson.

His eyes locked onto mine.

“You. What are you doing here?”

#this is gonna be the last chapter released on tapas for 2023 #Damn #time flies like a bird on steroids #also this is a very tense and worrying chapter to end the year on #Strap in folks #the next few parts are gonna be a wild ride #writeblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #writing #aps #wip snippet #writing excerpt #tapas novel

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webbedphantom · 9 months

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SLEEP MEME

Type of Bed: Depends on where he's at. His bed at his Aunt's place is a simple twin size. His bed at Leblanc is another twin size sitting on a couple of plastic crates, though it thankfully has a mattress pad on top that adds a bit of extra comfort. Eventually he'd get his own apartment that, while on the smaller side, did come with a very comfy queen size with a decent box spring.

Number of Blankets: 2 in the winter, unless he's sharing it with someone, then he's usually fine with just 1. The rest of the year, he just sticks with 1, though in the summer he might alternate between just the blanket or just the top sheet depending on how hot it is.

Number of Pillows: Usually just one, though he can sleep just fine without one sometimes.

Type of clothing: For most of the year, he tends to just sleep in a t-shirt and some lounge pants, though in the winter he has to upgrade that to a long sleeve shirt, and maybe some extra layers if need be (His Persona makes him extremely sensitive to the cold). If he's dating anyone though and they're sharing the bed, he'll usually forgo the shirt, or sometimes just sleep in his boxers.

Does it matter where they sleep?: Not really. He can sleep just about anywhere, and has on occasion. He's even fallen asleep on random rooftops before when he was too tired to swing home, though he tries to avoid doing that too often, as the last thing you wanna deal with while swinging around is back pain. Nowadays, he'll try to save up the energy to at least make a little web hammock if he can't make it home.

What do they do if they can't fall asleep?: He might read, or get up to tinker with whatever projects he has on his desk. But if he has the energy, he'll usually just go back out on patrol.

Deep slumber or naps: Usually just naps. It's very rare he has the time for a full night's rest, considering how late he tends to stay out. Though if he's dating someone (Makoto especially), he'll try to shift more towards deep sleep so they don't have to worry as much.

When do they sleep?: It depends on the night. Sometimes, it won't be so busy, and he'll be able to get back and in bed by 1 AM, if not sooner. Most times though, especially on busy nights, he's back at 3 or even 5 AM, with barely any time to sleep before he gets up at 6 AM to do it all over again. If he's dating someone however (again Makoto especially) he'll do his best to be back by 1 AM, 3 at the latest, and try to slowly shift into a more normal sleep schedule. But... some nights that isn't possible-

What could wake them up?: Almost anything. Aaron is a pretty light sleeper these days. Usually he doesn't even need an alarm, and the sunlight coming through his window is enough to wake him. But sometimes, especially after a rough night on patrol, he'll be so tired that he's a lot harder to get moving, and he'd need an alarm or someone else there to really wake him up.

Tagged by: @hxpelessnurse (Thanks!!)

Tagging: @queenxfjustice and whoever else wants to do it, I guess. I dunno, I'm not your Dad.

#headcanons

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noroi1000 · 2 years

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hi love! i was wondering if i could get a matchup with one of the jjk men? also! i really loved the new gojo one shot and i’m superrrr excited for the next chapter! no pressure though!

im an 18 year old asian female, 167cm, like 47kg(?), an intj-t, and a 5w6 i believe. though i doubt i’m an intj a lot, im not really that inquisitive soooo. as you can tell from my weight, your girl does not have an ass not boobs :’) but that’s alright! i have long dark brown hair, black ass eyes, and slightly tanner skin. i wear rounder glasses and don’t wear makeup yet (i’m too freaking lazy and can’t do art for the life of me).

personality wise, im pretty calm and quiet. though, i can be quite talkative and teasing depending on the people. i laugh and smile a lot and so i’m kinda worried about fine lines already :/ hahahaha. i’m also quite clingy but a bit shy about it. i initiate it pretty often with friends, holding their arms or hands. my mom’s always compared me to gum on a wall.

speaking of walls, im a rock climber and i love the outdoors! i wanna retire in a nice european country like northern italy. but i’m also a huge homebody. i like to just stay in bed and cuddle my stuffies or watch some movies.

i’m a bit of a hopeless romantic, i believe in true love. but i also believe that people grow into that. i’ve only had one boyfriend before (lasted a couple months hahaha) and he was kinda terrible when i look at it from hindsight so he did hamper that visual.

i also have a lower social battery in the sense that i can hangout with a person for a really long time but it can only be one person and i need at least a day to regain some energy. but then again, i just have low energy in general hence the homebody aspect.

nsfw:

i’m not yet sexually active hehehe. however i have an idea of what i am based on the smut i read and what i like to imagine my guy as :D i’m a sub. hahaha i tend to lean towards hard doms but i love the idea of really sweet and praise filled sex. i’ve always loved pet names and being called pretty so yeah :>

tw depression and anxiety:

i’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. in my past, i’ve been emotionally manipulated and physically abused and so i have some sensitivities to loud noises and can have a hard time being vulnerable like most people. not entirely sure if this was necessary but maybe(?)

anyways! thank you so much for reading, your time and patience. this was long as heck! again, can’t wait for the next chapter! love you ♡

I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is:

Megumi is one of those quiet people. He behaves quietly and pays no attention to anyone around. He just doesn't like to worry about what doesn't concern him.

He is certainly also a wise person who does nothing recklessly. He has already known life and at some point he can say that he already knows how something can end.

He often gets pissed off when people irritate him. Even so, he is the same already. In the right company, he will smile and talk. Not every man pisses him off when he's next to him.

He is shy about being in a crowd. When something embarrassing happens, he'll blush and just feel ashamed of you for what others have done.

If there is a nice person in his life. For him or for others who accept him as he is, he will stick to you and just won't let you go at any price. He did not want to lose people who were close to him. But he'll never show it because he's just ashamed to show that cute and soft side.

However, with a very close person, he can't help but emotionally. He's pissed off, he's sad. He just can't do it in a large crowd.

If he could, he would be at home. Or in your room. He just likes to sit alone and never go out. Perhaps there is something in him that he could go for walks alone or Anywhere. But not in a large group. Even though he has friends. He's just often tired of a lot of people and would really prefer something quiet. For example, no one is dragging him everywhere in turn. Because people can be very annoying. He can only have a few friends. And certainly not those who do not like his character. It can't be the person taking his energy. Only a person who can recharge his energy.

He's been through a lot in his life. From his parents' abandonment to his sister's coma. And also the possible death of friends. His emotions are truly being put to cruel tests in his life. Nobody ever wielded it. And he is not trying to rule anyone either. But surely he would like to get rid of disputes that don't make sense. Why start something that cannot be finished. He didn't want good people to end badly. And so that no one would end up like him. No family, with the terrible feeling that it was all his fault. He wanted everyone to have their own justice. Throughout his life, he never seemed sensitive to anything. He just rejected it.

Perhaps someday he will become sensitive to people's emotions again. He would really like to smile with a loved one. Show emotions as he would like.

Headcanon:

• As everyone knows, he never pays attention to the superficial things in a person. Not the look. Nothing is important. He just cares about character. You can be whoever you want, and you may also want to be whoever you want. Look different, change. The only important thing for him is that you don't change emotionally. He doesn't care what others think. Others He just has his own type, and this is a nice person. Nothing else takes into account.

• If he's alone, you may be surprised, but he will talk. No matter what the topic. He will smile and answer your questions and say what he wants to say. What is important to him is that he is with a person who can talk to him and can also listen. And it's not explosive.

• holding a hand is something he loves. Walks in the fresh air while holding your hand. You can go ahead, talking or in silence, and look around. Focusing on what you like. Nice atmosphere. But he is a little ashamed of walking among people like that. Then he will hold your hand, but he will not pay attention to it. (Or rather, he'll pretend he doesn't care) Because he himself is clingy to love and will not let you go.

• He would like you to choose him instead of a soft toy in bed. I understand he is less soft but still very nice and pleasant to cuddle or lie down on. Plus, he'll keep you warm. So these are his reasons why he would like to be a replacement for your stuffed animal.

• Quiet gameplay like watching movies and cuddling. He loves it. But he will never refuse you to go outside. Also when you invite him for a few hours to go on a hike and climb in the mountains. He may be skinny, but he is physically fit. Besides, it's healthy.

• He would definitely like to help you get rid of ailments that you do not want. He knows such negative feelings, and would try his best to help you. To show you that you have nothing to fear and he supports you. He will keep you calm and nurtured as long as you need it. Even for eternity.

• I think he would say at first that real love doesn't exist. And then, if he gets to know you and something happens between you. Especially something strong. He would say love exists. And it's so real because he loves you so much. Even if others may laugh at his sudden change, he will be so careful and only follow the feelings that he feel.

So as not to make her think your relationship was terrible and it was also a waste of time. If he loves, it's serious.

"I love you. I know I will love you. Life with you is wonderful. Therefore, never be afraid. Nothing will ever happen to you because I will be with you."

NSFW: (Since you entered it in your request, I thought I would write it)

• If you're looking for someone Dom, they definitely are. He likes to dominate you. But he's not brutal. His domination will never be to make you feel humiliated. So being submissive to him, he'll be the one in charge. However, he is more delicate. Such a delicate domination.

Even though he has a tendency to be tough, he will try to keep you from feeling worse. He is a sweeter person who, despite his domination, will praise you and call you sweet names. He himself likes to come closer and kiss you more.

#jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen matchups #anime matchup #jjk headcanons #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro headcanons #megumi #Megumi matchup

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anapologethicc · 2 years

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i'm trying so hard not to have a complete meltdown

#caution very very sad and emotional tags #pls ignore if you're having a good day #dear tumblr tags #why is it that even after working myself to death trying to do everything it's still never enough somehow i always feel like i'm lacking #be it socially emotionally or even academically :/// i'm literally so exhausted from constantly feeling this way #its like everyone around me is doing so fucking well even the friends who said they were having a hard time coping are going out and #socializing and doing great academically and here i am someone who hasn't been anywhere except home and campus ever since uni started and #will barely have time to go out until december becuz deadlines are starting and even when im done in dec im going to be so so drained that #i won't wanna go out anywhere and will just wanna stay in bed and read fanfic lmaoo #i hate everyone and everything and i hate that all that makes me feel so inadequate and im so emotionally exhasutedd #i hate feeling like i'm not enough and that im not doing my best and i hate falling asleep crying becuz of it all #i'm juggling so many things at once and i feel as though im just fucking it all up #im 19 and i feel like i will collapse with the weight i feel im just so tired #how does being enough feel like?#hais #anyways #gots lots to do tmr #and i have to wake up at 6 fucking am #just gotta push thru ig.

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genshingarbage · 2 years

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Hi there! I read your comforting depressed s/o head cannon and really enjoyed it!❤️ Might I ask for one with Childe? I’m curious on what you think he’d do (and I want it cuz *cough* I simp *cough**cough*)😅. Thank you and love your work!!!

Heeey! Sorry for this mega late response, been struggling with burnout pretty bad recently. Finding it hard to get back into the swing of things, however I did try my best with this one as Childe is my No.4 boy in my best genshin boys list ❤️ I hope it's to your liking.

Childe W/ Deperessed S/O

Headcannon.

He's been around siblings, he knows the mood swings younger sisters can have, the tantrums young boys can pull; but the one he loves always struggling with an internal suffering- thats a new one comrade.

However he's not one to back down don't get me wrong.

He'll always be by your side whenever he's got the slightest of free time.

He'll take you out for strolls to distract you, fancy dinners to make you feel special.

Anything you want, he will aquire it. Any means necessary, and I mean, any.

Hes an extrovert by nature, but that doesn't mean he won't stay inside, cuddled in bed with you, allowing time to flow by while he lends his ear to you.

He'll listen to your problems, he won't utter a response or hand out advice unless you explicitly say so- because sometimes people just wanna be heard, and he knows that, specially with you.

If you need to cry and rant he'll be there, arms round you in a warm embrace. The soft hushes as his lips press against your head in such a delicate loving tender motion.

He'll fix your wounds you inflict upon yourself during your darkest days. No judgment installed anywhere. Just love and care.

You need to punch something so bad? His chest is right there. Punch away! It's just training him up more on his end, at least his chest is softer than that wall...

He'll crack his awful jokes at all hours of the day and night, if there's a chance he'll see that smile, even for a second? Worth it.

He'll call you the sweetest pet names he can muster, he'll always try to coax you into talking with him, opening up, reminding you you're not alone.

"C'mon girlie, what's wrong?"

"My dear, I know you're troubled again, please... allow me to help."

"Sweetie, you're doing that silly thing again, what was it again? Uhh- that's it! Thinking you've gotta go it alone."

Damn he cares so much he'll even toss aside his Harbinger duties some days just to stay by your side. (A few stacks of paperwork dusted off to his subordinates can't be that bad every now and then, right?)

He'll always make you feel loved, even when you're at your lowest and your mind really is being the main villain of your story. He won't miss the chance to be your hero, to be the good guy in the eyes of the one he holds so close.

On days where it feels like all his efforts aren't reaching the desired results it will probably sting him inside, his ego wounded by loosing temporarily, his pride built by his sole thoughts of being the best man for you beginning to waver ever so slightly.

But if there is one thing Childe isn't, it's a quitter.

So he failed today, you're still sad and calling yourself those horrible names.

So he messed up and didn't get to you in time and you harmed yourself.

He'll use it to fuel him further. His desire to see you smile and see you for the truly amazing and caring soul he sees you as will always keep him ignited with that passion to win.

He'll think of better jokes to ensure he does make you happy next time.

He'll run faster and workout harder to jump over the damn roofs of buildings to cut time down so he can run through that door and stop you next time you go to harm yourself.

You really are mean to yourself, you know that Girlie?

No matter what your darker thoughts try to drown you in, try to break you with. He will always make sure he's there to remind you, you're loved. You're perfect. And he couldn't ask for a better lover.

He just hopes, deep down... somewhere under those layers of self hate to yourself that truly have no right to reside in your pretty brain; you truly understand, that he really does love you... and he just wants to see you smile like you deserve.

Because after all, you're the reason he pushes so hard now, to become a better man. To become a good guy.

#genshin blog #genshinimpact #childe #childe x reader #tartagalia #tartaglia x reader #childe headcannons #childe angst #tartagalia angst #tartagalia headcannons #Mod Diluc #genshin #genshin fanfic blog #genshin x reader #x reader #childe scenario #tartagalia genshin impact

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theundeadrobinclub · 2 years

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Wait can I have more on that damian and Jason knew each other hc… that was good… I was so hooked and when I saw there was no more to read I was sad…

- @an-older-robin (sry asked anon bc I didn’t wanna get my main blog attached to my dc one and idk if there is a way to ask qs from side blogs instead of the main one or if that’s even possible)

yes ofc, it's quite literally my favorite hc and I have endless things to say about it.

Damian and Jason, for the first few weeks after telling the family, are inseparable. Damian sleeps over at Jason place, they patrol together, Jason takes him to and from school, if Damian is at the manor, so is Jason. they never go anywhere without the other.

it's such whiplash for the rest of the family, including Duke and Cass, who both had some sort of idea that they didn't actually hate each other. they all were so used to seeing them pretend to hate each other, that seeing them practically glued to each other's sides is brain circuiting.

especially since both of them, who shy away from and often actively refuse affection, are being affectionate as shit with each other?

Jason is constantly ruffling Damian's hair, they've all seen him give Damian at least one piggy back ride each, and Jason has been seen reading books out loud to Damian with him half in his lap on 3 separate occasions. Damian keeps drawing things for/of Jason, has been seen initiating hugs with him at least 8 times, and has apparently been spending a lot of time learning to cook with him. they practically cuddle while watching TV, have actually been saying really kind things to each other, apparently have been going to do 'brotherly bonding' things together, like going to the zoo, or a museum, or go on a mini road trip, they both refer to Talia as some form of mom, and have refered to each other with an affectionate form of brother several times, and when in these few weeks when one of them got injured on patrol, the other would not leave their side and they ended up cuddling on the medbay bed.

citizens of Gotham are getting whiplash from this as well, they just have absolutely zero context. a week ago the rest of the bats and birds kept Robin and Red Hood away from eachother at all costs. everyone thought it was because they were gonna hurt eachother, but they haven't been spotted without the other in a week, and they look and sound so happy. they're laughing, they've been seen playing some sort of tag, and some people swear they saw them hug. words been going around that the guy who hurt Robin last week got his face bashed in by Hood, with an order to spread the word that Robin's under his protection now.

everyone's confused, but they won't complain, because Robin and Hood actually make a really great team. they hope they stay like this, because if it keeps up, maybe crime will go down even more.

the batfam is afraid to ask Jason and Damian clarifying questions about their relationship, both because they don't think they'll get a straight answer, and because they cannot believe they actually did not know about this for so long, and getting more answers might make them feel worse about it. they just sit in bewildered silence as they observe.

Bruce eventually puts his foot down and says Damian has to start sleeping in the manor again at some point. Jason will not sleep in the manor everyday, so that's when they start being no longer attached at the hip. they still spend way more time together than anyone thought they would, though, and they have yet to get into an argument. while this is completely normal to Jason and Damian, as they're still making up years of lost time, so they're spending more time together than they would've, even in the league, everyone else is waiting for the other shoe to drop.

it really doesn't, other than petty sibling arguments which are resolved in less than a day. most of the rest of the family doesn't know how to reconcile that in their mind.

#jason todd #red hood #jason al ghul #damian wayne #robin #damian al ghul #batfam #talia al ghul #ask #i will never stop posting about this hc to some extent so im very glad people like it as well #my post

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falcqns · 2 years

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𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 (𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭)

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dad!Bucky Barnes x OFC!Daughter!Willow x lawyer!Reader

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: things go downhill for Bucky, and the two of you meet.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: CPS, angst, fluff, you and bucky finally cross paths, mentions of money troubles, child protective services.

✰ 𝐚/𝐧: thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy!

to who ever reads this: don't bother asking for a part two, you won't get it. i am the owner of this fic, and this blog, and I, and only I, will decided what fic gets a part two and when. respect me and my wishes or get off my blog. thanks!

don't forget to read and reblog, and i do not give permission for my works to be posted anywhere other than tumblr. thank you.

"due to your history, Mr Barnes," Bucky's boss, Tom said, sighing. "we're going to have to let you go."

Bucky's heart sank. he swallowed the lump in his throat. "please, sir, i need this job. what i did wasn't me, i've been pardoned, and it was in my past. i-i'm not that person anymore," he begged, stuttering slightly. "i have a daughter to take care of, i need this job."

Tom just shook his head. "i'm sorry, it's out of my control." he said, and Bucky sighed, sniffling, and nodding. "i can give you a reference letter for unemployment insurance, but thats about it." he said, and Bucky shook his head.

"n-no." he said. "it's okay, thank you."

he said his goodbyes, and headed out moments later, trying to hold back his tears. he had a two year old to take care of, how was he supposed to do that while unemployed? and what if his boss when to the government about him lying about his identity? he'd get Willow taken away, and he'd go to jail for identity fraud, but it's not his fault not many people were willing to hire him anymore.

he turned the corner, heading to Willow's daycare, asking himself internally what he could do. he could ask Alexis, but he was still hurting from the divorce, and if she knew he was struggling, he'd never see his little girl again. he couldn't risk it, so it looked like he was on his own.

his only other option was Steve, and he was still unsure of that. he had to think of her and her wellbeing first. Steve had gone into foster care a few times when they were younger, and in the time it took for his mom to get custody of him each time, the abuse he endured was horrific, and he wouldn't put his innocent baby through that.

he pulled into the daycare, and took a deep breath, before exiting the car, and walking into the centre. he took a left, and walked up to her classroom, where the kids were resting for nap time.

"hi," he whispered to Willow's daycare teacher, and she turned and smiled at him.

"hi, Bucky," she said, grabbing the clipboard with the attendance. "are you here to pick Willow up?" she asked, and Bucky nodded.

"yes. i got of work early," he fibbed, the line not being a complete lie. she nodded, and smiled up at him after signing Willow out.

"okay. she's asleep on her bed, so you can grab her if you'd like, or i can," she said, and bucky shook his head.

"i'll get her," he said, and walked over to where Willow was curled up with her princess blanket and stuffed rabbit. he crouched down next to the cot, and rubbed her back, prompting her to wiggle around and open her eyes.

"dada!" she exclaimed, and Bucky smiled.

"hi, princess." he whispered. "wanna go home?" he asked, and she nodded, leaving her blanket on the cot but holding onto her bunny as Bucky lifted her up, and carried her out of the room. he said goodbye to the educators, and walked into the hallway, stopping at her cubby to grab her coat, before heading out.

"we're gonna go home, okay?" he said, and Willow nodded.

"otay, dada." she whispered, staying quiet as Bucky buckled her in, and the two of them drove home. as they passed the hardware store, Bucky noticed a 'help wanted' sign in the window. 'we'll be okay,' Bucky thought to himself.

he was so wrong.

no one was willing to hire him. he was slowly running out of money, and he didn't know what to do. the government pretty much paid for Willow's daycare, so he didn't have to worry about that. but, he wouldn't have money for food, clothes, or even rent soon enough, and he was getting desperate.

he knew he could take up Steve's offer of joining the avengers and living in the compound, but he would have to take Willow out of daycare for that. the compound was too far for him to rationalize driving there everyday, and she barely tolerated being in the car as is.

he could apply for unemployment insurance, but he didn't want to rely on the government fully. he already relied on them for childcare and not being charged with a crime he didn't commit by a foreign country, he didn't want to take more help.

he knew things were bad when Willow would come home from daycare and tell him that her teachers would ask her if her daddy was taking care of her at home. whether he fed her and bathed her regularly.

he knew things were horrible when he got a knock at the door while he was sitting at the kitchen island figuring out how much he needed to make to keep the lights on, and when he answered, saw someone from CPS.

"hello, Mr Barnes, my name is Andrea Martin, Child Protective Services." a middle aged woman said, showing him her credentials. "i'm here for a visit concerning the welfare of Willow."

Bucky gulped, heart pounding, thinking of his toddler who was still napping in her room. someone had called CPS on him, likely Willow's educators. he nodded, and stepped aside, allowing the woman to come inside.

the lady continued on, looking around at his small, but very clean and well kept, apartment. "we are very concerned about her wellbeing."

Bucky took a deep breath. "i was let go from my job a month ago, and i am having trouble fidning a new one."

"why is that, Mr Barnes?" she asked, and opened her notebook.

"no one wants to hire me, even though i've been pardoned, and have no criminal record." he said. "i can show you the documents if you'd like." he said, and when the woman nodded, he went into the kitchen and grabbed the pardon paperwork and his most recent criminal record check, done just two days ago, and handed them to her.

the lady read them over, and nodded, glancing up at Bucky. "i see. well, as you don't have a job, and are not on any financial support, adn can clearly not handle the responsibilities that come with being a parent, we will be taking Willow-"

"no!" Bucky shouted. "please don't do that! i-i have a friend who can help us! h-he's offered me a job but i am hesistant to take it becuase it would disrupt Willow's schedule, but please, don't take her," he said, tears pooling in his eyes.

"i'm sorry, Mr Barnes, we have to. it's best that you pack a bag of her belongings."

"no! dada!" Willow screamed as she was led out of the apartment by Andrea.

Bucky watched as she left, screaming at the top of her lungs. "i'm so sorry, baby." he said. "but you have to."

"no!" she shouted again, trying to pull out of the woman's grip.

Bucky continued. "honey, you're gonna go and see Mama, that's all." he said, trying to hold back his tears and keep his voice steady.

"no!" she shouted. "don' wanna! Mama hates me!" she screamed. Bucky cringed as he watched his daughter begin to lash out at Andrea, scratching her and attempting to bite her.

"i know, baby. i'm gonna make this right i promise," he said, crouching down, letting his emotions show, and crying. "Dada's gonna get a job, and as soon as he does, you'll be home with me."

"no!" Willow shouted again, stomping her foot. "no dada, no!"

"i'm sorry." he said. he wiped his eyes and looked at his daughter. "you have to go."

before Willow could open her mouth to protest again, a car came speeding into the parking lot. the car stopped in the middle of the parking lot, and a woman jumped out. Bucky watched as the young woman came rushing up the stairs, a piece of paper in her hand.

"ah, Andrea, how wonderful to see you again." she said, and Andrea rollwed her eyes.

"always a pleasure to see you, Miss Y/L/N." she said, a clear disdain in her voice.

you chuckled, and handed her the piece of paper. Andrea sighed, and released Willow's hand. Willow ran back to Bucky, and clung to him, shaking like a leaf.

"does Mr Stark really care THAT much about some lowlife and his child?" she said, and Willow squeezed Bucky tighter, feeling his arm whirl in preparation to fight the woman.

you laughed. "well, considering you're going after Captain Rogers best friend and his daughter, i would say, yes, he does care that much." you said. "Mr Barnes has done nothing wrong, and in case you haven't noticed, his apartment is clean. all the lights are on. there's food in the fridge. is Willow the cleanest she could be? no, but kids are messy. he's actively looking for a job, and has gone to multiple interviews in the last week. i'm unsure why you're targeting him, considering no one reported him."

Bucky looked up at you in disbelief, but you continued to rattle on to Andrea, who looked alarmed. "i don't know how you-"

"i work for Tony Stark, Andrea." you said. "Mr Stark is very thorough, as is Ms Potts, who had half a mind to come here in my stead, and i can assure you, she would not be as nice as i am being. i suggest you leave, before i call up your boss."

Andrea glared at you for a moment longer, before storming off, muttering to herself. you smiled as you watched her retreat. Bucky stood up, and adjusted Willow on his hip.

"thank you," he said, giving you a small smile. you returned your own warm smile, and nodded.

"you're welcome. you've done nothing but put your daughter first, and thats what a true parent does. she's jsut bitter because her brother was killed by the Triskelion collapsing right before you escaped...them." you said carefully, and Bucky nodded.

"i really do appreciate it, and i promise that i'll keep looking for a job."

you smiled again. "not to worry, Mr Barnes." you said, and handed him another paper. "Mr Stark has put you on the payroll, and you will be receiving your first pay check in a weeks time, and he has rooms ready for the two of you to move into the compound whenever you feel ready." you said, and Bucky nodded.

"tell him i said thank you." Bucky said, tears rimming his eyes again. "i never got to formally apologize for what happened, but i am sorry." you laid your hand on his bicep.

"it wasn't you, and he's since come to realize that. he holds no ill will against you, although he might call you a nickname or two, but thats who he is." you said, and turned to walk back to your car.

"wait," Bucky said, prompting you to look back. "i never got your name."

you chewed on the inside of your lip, smiling softly at him. "it's Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N."

#caterpillar in the tree au #bucky barnes smut #mcu bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barns fanfiction #james bucky barnes #natashasera

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